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roo-bastmoon · 10 months

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The Great Radio Debate: Roo's (limited) Understanding of this Issue UPDATED

Disclaimer: Sensitive topics are discussed below the cut; please do not incite drama, speak hate, or engage in bullying. This is a collection of my thoughts about what is currently happening with regard to Jungkook's single SEVEN and the implications it could mean for Jikook and ARMY. If you click below this cut, you are assuming responsibility for your own behavior and agreeing to engage with my blog and others respectfully, or you will be blocked.

We now by know that Jimin's music was not promoted to radio. We know this because when we went to request it from various major radio stations, it was not an option in the drop-downs; we had to manually type it in. Being "sent / promoted / serviced to radio" means a compressed file is sent from the company to radio stations so DJs can play high-def spins that are universally compatible with their station's set up.

None of Jimin's songs for Face were serviced:

The airplay audience was the lowest for any song this decade:

The controversy around Jungkook's SEVEN began last week when one DJ tweeted the following:

As we now know, "serviced to radio" means they sent a compressed file (which they SHOULD have done for Like Crazy English Version, but didn't). They did service to radio for Butter and Dynamite and it was a huge help. Even Yet to Come was serviced, so it cracked Top 50 on the charts, but none of Face's songs were sent, which makes zero business sense any achievement on that chart amazing.

Because even when serviced, it doesn't guarantee spins... "Add" means they hope radio stations will add the song to rotation:

But then the DJ had to go and say this:

So they have already sent SEVEN to the radios, hoping for spins. And now one person is publicly saying the song absolutely will get spins immediately. This heavily implies payola, because why else would a song without demand or requests immediately spin multiple times on everyone's shows the second it was released?

I feel (I, Roo Bastmoon, personally think and feel) Seven is being pushed this way for two reasons:

Billboard's recent changes around what kind of sales (physical, digital, bundled) will counts on the charts puts songs without radio play at an extreme, nigh-insurmountable disadvantage; even with excellent streams (which are heavily culled and filtered), it will be hard to break into the top 50.

Additionally, Taylor Swift's Speak Now re-release has dropped this week and will be gunning for the charts next week when Jungkook debuts, and that is a personal problem for Scooter Braun.

For those not familiar (as I surely wasn't; I live under a rock), Taylor Swift felt compelled to leave her old management company back in 2018. To do so, she had to abandon the rights to any original music she made with them. They kept her masters and sold them off to Scooter Braun.

Each time someone wanted to play one of her original songs, they had to ask his permission and pony up money for a license fee. Scooter Braun also managed Kanye, and I'm sure everyone knows the Beyoncé is the Greatest of All Time award show fiasco that led to some bad blood between those two artists, so it added insult to injury for Taylor.

Taylor has now re-recorded everything and released Speak Now: Taylor's Version. Of COURSE her fans are motivated to support her and get every single song they can into the highest position on the Hot 100 for as long as possible... and frankly, I am not a Swiftie but I can't blame them because if someone did that to BTS, I'd make it my life's mission to chart them as a big Fuck You, too.

But it does put a lot of pressure on Jungkook's single, because now it's very likely been weaponized in a personal dick-measuring contest where Scooter is concerned. Not sure if I mentioned it but I truly hate that man so I'm not sure I can be impartial when talking about him but I will try.

So Jungkook's single has been set up so far with pre-orders on iTunes and compressed files to radio, which is a first for any member's solo work. He also has a debut stage on Good Morning America, which has a huge range beyond k-pop.

So far, none of this is foul play. It is a company doing its best to represent and set up the best conditions for its artist under changed circumstances. You can make a case for favoritism, clearly, but at the end of the day, companies are about making profits and sometimes they grossly underestimate what has potential and what the market wants.

The issues fans are facing now around Seven lie in:

1) the neglect around Jimin's Like Crazy English Version, which is still so stable that it could be smashing charts if only it would get radio play so this just seems to make zero business sense and be more of a slight than anything else, so Jikookers are left wondering what that means for the relationship and,

2) the fear that Hybe America under Scooter Braun has abandoned BTS' founding values and taken the easy way out by paying to play on radio, which would severely damage credibility that BTS worked so hard to build as an organic, fan-driven success.

I think we'll have to wait to see how many sales, streams, and spins Jungkook gets to figure out if payola was likely. Maybe that one DJ was tweeting his own assumptions like they were facts. Or maybe Hybe has now decided to do payola. If that is so... not gonna lie, I will be extremely disappointed. I will need to take a break and figure out what this means for me as a fan.

The next question is how much did Jungkook know about all this? There seems to be two camps of thought here: one says the boys are involved in every step of the way and choose everything that happened around their releases.

(I know Jimin is very humble but I HIGHLY doubt he ever said to his company "Please rush my release in between other releases so I get physically sick trying to keep up with it; please never restock my physicals in WeVerse and don't send a file for the English song I studied for to US radios; and please also never post about my world record nor celebrate my albums' success in any way; yes, I worked 10+ months on this very personal opus but I absolutely don't want any of that." I very, very much doubt the ways Face was handled after Hot 100 #1 was Jimin's choice. This also makes me doubt if all the ways Seven will be handled will be Jungkook's choice.)

The second camp of thought is that the artists have absolutely no say in the marketing and promotion styles of their work, and that they are kept out of sales matters altogether. And here's the limit of my understanding, because I've not seen or read much on Hybe / BigHit's strategic plans around distribution for either BTS' group or solo works.

(Side Note: I have seen them set up TXT for a Billboard Top Ten, only for their collab to come in at #135, which shows a gross misunderstanding of their market right now--as well as disregard for their artists' feelings and reputations. My heart goes out to those boys; they worked hard.)

But drawing on my own experience decades ago when I used to work in entertainment out in LA, I can tell you, even as Chief Editor, plenty of my media content was changed without anyone informing me--back-cover blurbs, cover designs, release dates, shelf talkers, pop ups, print runs, print houses, store placements, advertising, interview articles--at some point in my former career, all of those things got changed around and I found out after the fact, on my own projects. Which pissed me off but I'd signed NDAs and couldn't do a single thing about it. And the authors / creators didn't know until *I* had the hard job of informing them. And they couldn't do anything about it because they were under contract.

So I think the level of members' involvement in solo works is somewhere in between. I think as artists and performers, BTS members can have a great deal of say in their look, styles, lyrics, choreo, merch, and venues. But not total say. Definitely not deciding-factor say.

I think the company can make them water down their lyrics, change up the choreo, and flat-out tell them no when it comes to music videos, performance venues, pretty much anything budget-related. They don't even have to explain why; it's their budget and their bottom-line. (In the old days, it seems like the members could freely express opinions around the works and even challenge management when it came to creative content. Maybe that is still true.)

As far as Jungkook's involvement in Seven's style, we have a stylist going on record about how some of the options were their ideas and that Jungkook had a lot of input on the look and feel, so it was a mixture:

For this reason alone, the fact that things like mud were added to clean pants or spikes to a jacket after Jungkook had input makes me truly feel this was his way of honoring Jimin and Face. It just seems like something our Jungkook would do--he may not always say it, but he's always watching Jimin-ssi.

As for sales and marketing strategies? The boys may never get looped in. Or they may be told the plans, but not invited to give input. Or they may sit down and plan it all out to the last detail with each department. I genuinely don't know. And because I don't know, I will not be assuming the worst of Jungkook or any member until I have all the facts. That is anti behavior, in my mind, and I just cannot stomach it. I can never bring myself to believe the worst of anyone until they fully and consistently show me that's who they are.

We've spent ten years with these guys. They are flawed human beings, yes, but not cheats, not assholes. I think they omit plenty of details but I don't think they straight-up lie to us. I don't think Jungkook would ever look his staff and executives in the eye and say "Yes, I want you to illegally pay money under the table so this single will top the charts." Jungkook is competitive, but also a stickler for fair play. You spend any amount of time watching Run, and the only time he "cheats" is when he wants to be with Jimin (lol) and he's pretty endearingly obvious about it; guy has almost no game face.

Okay but joking aside, I'm honestly very worried for JK. It sort of feels like he's being set up. Many questions have arisen over the stylistic choices for Seven. There's the fan frenzy around having a hot female protagonist in his video. And now the question about how much radio play Seven will get, and why. That's a lot of controversy to hang on a young man's shoulders. Especially in light of the recent book that's come out, in which it's clear now that the company and the artists are aware of hate-trending hashtags in English. GOD THAT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH.

To me, it feels (it feels--as in, my gut is telling me this; I have no receipts) like the company is using JK to experiment with a different way of doing business--a way that may stray from their founding values.

And there's so much potential for this to blow up in JK's face. There are solos who will insist he's stealing Jimin's style. Antis who will insist he's cheated on the charts. Insecure shippers who will lose their minds if anything flirty goes down with Han So-hee on screen. K-poppies, Swifties, and local racists all insisting on undermining his creativity, talent, and character because they fear the competition.

This release on Friday has the potential to be a blood bath. And I just don't trust the company to have his back and take ownership of their part in this, if so. From everything I've seen about Jungkook, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

My biggest question mark is how Jimin will respond to all of this. If he comes on live one day and says in a flat tone something like: "I was really surprised to see how similar Jungkookie's concept was to my own." or "How interesting that Seven got sent to radio--good for him, good for him. I wonder how that happens?" Then I'll take that to mean Jimin wasn't looped in on JK's plans and he doesn't feel great about it; that won't sit well with me.

Then again, if Jimin raves about Seven and plays it on live or joins JK in New York and mentions how flattered he was that they share the same style, how they click, how proud he is of JK's hard work and asks please ARMY give it a lot of love? Then I'll infer he was definitely looped in, this is a homage, and JK's actions were always above board. I will assume that because I will never doubt Jimin's integrity. If Jimin approves, I will approve. Jimin has earned my complete trust.

So this week is a very tense one (for me at least). But it does provide quite the distraction from the stress tests and specialist consults I have lined up, I'll give you that. Never a dull moment. (I am so ready for this fandom to have some dull moments.)

In the end, I'm going to chose to believe in the very best of our members until there's solid evidence to think otherwise. As of now? I think the only dirty cheater in the mix is the music industry at large. I know the entertainment world is corrupt, but Jesus, they are so blatant about it all.

Anyway, we may not get radio data for several days or weeks after the initial drop date, so I'm prepared to hang in there for a good bit. And if there is evidence of payola and JK knew about it... I'm gonna need time to process that and figure out where I go from there, as a Jikooker, as an ARMY. I will honestly be shocked.

One thing you'll never see me do is spout hatred for human beings. I will likely rant about the company. And there are plenty of people Scooter Braun that I viscerally dislike. But I'm making a commitment now not to spread dehumanizing hate speech on the timeline.

That's not what BTS or Jimin would ever want. That's not what I want for myself, especially if my days in this life are limited. I don't need that kind of toxicity or karma.

Am I furious about all the crap that's gone down for Jimin (and other members too, to a lesser degree)? You bet your buttons, as my Nana used to say. I could rage and froth all day about it.

But I also remember who came online over and over to say Jimin's name, play Jimin's songs, mimic Jimin's interviews, giggle at Jimin's video clips, and invite Jimin into his life.

And based on moved lamps and dog scratches and Jimin bulking up, it's likely Jimin has accepted those invitations.

Whenever we do get to glimpse Jimin with Jungkook, he seems as endeared and besotted as he always has.

youtube

I trust Jimin to know if someone did him dirty, and to act accordingly. I do not believe any aspect of the Jikook relationship is performance.

For those reasons, I'm gonna be withholding judgement until all info around Seven comes in.

I hope you will too, but I understand if you feel differently and I'm not on this Earth to judge other people's viewpoints or experiences. I just ask that if you want to be friends with me here, you try to be civil in your words and actions, even in the sway of big feelings. Every person behind the screen is a work in progress; we are all fighting invisible battles; there are many sides to each story.

All any of us can do is our best with what we are given. Let's wait and see what Jungkook (and Jimin, and the company) give us.

If you made it this far through my ramblings, kudos! I welcome ideas, so feel free to comment--but just remember, rudeness will be removed. There's no space for meanness on my blog.

Love and deep respect to you all,

Roo

UPDATED:

So, it would seem the DJ who is hyping JK's Seven is also open to playing Like Crazy. This would imply it's been sent to some radio because before I remember he tweeted that he needed the compressed file in order to play it on his station (I am sorry I didn't save that link but he was talking about Hobi and Jimin if I recall, back at the time!).

UPDATE 2:

The radio stations that took requests (including the one mentioned above) back at that time were playing the music video version available to the public, not a compressed file sent by the company:

And when I check on this linktree of top radio stations in the US, Like Crazy does not come up as any option in rotation. I have to manually request still, after four months of being stable on the charts.

So if Jungkook gets immediate spins and requests immediately come up in rotation... is that because radio stations really love Jungkook? Or is this a company "networking" deal? (And in any case, would JK be involved in that aspect?) Everything still remains to be seen. Let's be patient and try our best not to assume the worst.

Many thanks for JMDBJK for mentioning in the comments the likelihood that a title track would be sent out, which prompted me to go look soon as I could get to my computer. I really do value anyone willing to take the time to help me learn more info about this industry!

#jungkook #jimin #jikook #seven by jungkook #Youtube

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trickstarbrave · 3 months

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this is not proofread. and i am half awake

but i have FINALLY finished the fucking. nerevoryn omegaverse au fic. no one else has written it yet, so i will be the one to bear the burden. i will commit the first sin and take all the stones you throw.

sorry that this is mostly not even smut, just me messing around with worldbuilding. i have worldbuilder's disease. i have even MORE thoughts about this setting i have inevitably left out. but. well. they fuck in the end okay

special shout out my mutual who posted an omegaverse tweet bc i was really blanking on the smut for some reason. i couldnt get it working right???? like it wasn't interesting. but we got there with the help of the tweet.

content warnings: standard omegaverse shit. heats, ruts, biting, impregnation kink, knots, you get it. omegas have vaginas as far as im concerned bc it just makes more sense to me. give it a shot as i have played with stereotypes and tried to make it interesting i hope

There were, despite the stereotypes, perks when it came to being an omega. In fact, in a way, stereotypes could be one of the perks, if you played your cards right. And if there was anything Nerevar knew how to do, it was use anything and everything to his advantage.

There was a common belief omegas were all delicate, gentle hearted peace-keepers--or worse, treasures that lay in wait for some big strong alpha to come take them. It wasn’t like there were no docile, delicate omegas, but Nerevar was certainly not the type. He could make peace all right--with persuasion and his blade however, not rolling over with his belly up begging everyone to stop fighting.

Most people thought he was an alpha given how headstrong he was and how quickly he took charge of situations. That, or he was an alpha-leaning beta given he was usually able to keep his cool in difficult situations, especially around alphas acting territorial and puffing out their chests. Nerevar never bothered correcting them either way; sure, he could turn himself into some moral champion of omegas and prove they could be just as capable politicians and warriors, but the more likely outcome was everyone he told would take him significantly less seriously. And that would mean more heads would have to roll and well, Nerevar didn’t like cleaning up messes.

He still had heats, having to retreat into his room for days at a time, but no one said anything. Just as easily he could be locked away in a rut, or praying to Azura for several days on end. No one dared question him, and only the most trustworthy attendants were allowed anywhere near his room to be able to smell the difference.

On the plus side, Nerevar had many things he used to his advantage; in all honesty, the fact people thought Nerevar was a beta wasn’t unfounded. Even when an alpha went into a rut, he was mostly unbothered by it. A bit of discomfort, not to mention he needed a long bath afterwards to get the smell off him, but unlike some omegas where the scent of an alpha in rut had them going into heat right away, Nerevar seemed mostly unaffected and could force the instinct down. And, through careful control of his mental state, he could usually calm most alphas down without them being the wiser about Nerevar’s secondary sex and wanting to take him for themselves. His seeming immunity from an alpha in rut was often the subject of multiple jokes by Almalexia, as the two of them would mostly sit around, having a few drinks in the quiet of her room. Well, that was until she took Vivec as her mate, then most of her ruts were spent with the warrior-poet instead.

Hence why, when his meeting with Voryn had been canceled last minute after he already made his way to Kogoruhn, he simply strolled to Voryn’s room, humming casually with a couple books and food for the other.

Much like Nerevar, Voryn was also an… Interesting example of an alpha. Voryn was usually pegged more so as a beta based on his behavior, until you got a whiff of pheromones when you pissed him off. He wasn’t as outwardly aggressive and territorial as far as most people were concerned, but Nerevar knew him well. He disguised it as dedication and love for his house, or loyalty to those close to him, but he was indeed territorial. And instead of outward aggression, picking fights and throwing fists, he preferred to temper his aggression and instead attack them when they least expected it. He may look like he forgives and forgets, but in truth he was a viper laying in wait to strike.

Nerevar knocked, careful not to drop the few books tucked under his arm, hearing the low growl that followed.

“Out.” Voryn hissed, and Nerevar bit back a laugh.

“It’s me,” Nerevar clarified. “I brought you some books and some food. Servants said you haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Voryn, unlike his typically cool demeanor, was vicious and snippy in a rut. Since Nerevar grew up alongside him, he knew it very well, getting chased away from Voryn’s door every time. Well, that and the servants and other members of House Dagoth would shoo him away, warning him not to go near. It was customary to keep young alphas and omegas apart during heats and ruts respectively, for good reason. No one wanted any injured teenagers or anyone carrying children way too young. But Nerevar could still see it in the aftermath—scratch marks and bruises on Gilvoth after he came to force his younger brother to eat, broken furniture, a smashed window at one point—luckily he calmed down from physical violence as he got older. If he hadn’t, he doubted Kogoruhn would still be standing with all the magic the lord knew.

“All the more reason to tell you to leave.” Voryn huffed.

“You know ruts don’t bother me.” Nerevar snarked. “Hurry up and open the door before I drop your food.”

After some groaning and growling, eventually Voryn did open the door, to which Nerevar quickly darted inside before he could take the tray and shove him out.

“You are an idiot.” Voryn groaned as Nerevar set the tray of food on the desk, before tossing the books onto Voryn’s bed. “But that’s nothing new anymore.”

“I told you, ruts don’t bother me.” Nerevar chuckled, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in the air as always. At the very least, Voryn’s scent wasn’t offensive; some alphas made him feel disgusting, if not a little nauseous. Voryn’s was much more familiar and a lot more welcomed, given he was used to it in much smaller quantities over the years. In fact, it was kind of nice; warm, a bit spicy, and nostalgic.

“I can’t help but fear you’re just playing with fire when you say things like that.” Voryn sighed, before plopping himself on the bed. He was dressed very loosely, no doubt feeling hot and antsy. Nerevar, unbothered, also sat beside him with a grin on his face.

“Come on, I’m not being that reckless.”

“You’re tempting fate, that’s what you’re doing.” Voryn huffed. “But you’ve always been like that, haven’t you? Always pushing your luck to its limits until it blows up in your face.”

“It hasn’t blown up in my face yet,” Nerevar asserted proudly. “Unlike several of Sil’s little inventions.” Voryn rolled his eyes at that.

“Because you’re constantly poking and prodding at them even when he specifically told you not to, that’s why.” Nerevar, seeing as Voryn was making a good point, instead side-stepped it entirely.

“Come on, you know you get lonely during a rut,” Nerevar instead circled the conversation back around. “Bored, stir crazy, antsy…”

“That’s the nature of a rut so I don’t rip someone to pieces.” Voryn huffed. “I’m not supposed to be relaxing and having fun but defending my territory and looking for a mate as far as my instincts are concerned.”

“Mm…” Nerevar hummed. “I heard mate does make them easier. At least, as far as Ayem told me.” Nerevar hadn’t minded his wife taking a mate that wasn’t him; in terms of sexual compatibility, Nerevar didn’t find her very appealing. Not that she was ugly or anything--far from it! She was very beautiful, tall, strong… All things an omega should be dying to have in a mate. But there was something about her scent that put him off from ever wanting to mate. Just as well, she didn’t find his scent all that appealing either, and most political marriages didn’t end in mating even in the case of alpha and omega couples.

“And I am in no mood to tear apart Vvardenfell looking for one.” Voryn scoffed, before laying down on his side. Despite doing so, however, he didn’t look comfortable in the slightest. All of his muscles were tense as he laid there, stiff as a corpse. “I have things to be doing, research to do, meetings to be had--”

“Shh…” Nerevar hushed him, scooting closer to rub his back. At the touch Voryn snarled, before slowly he began relaxing, bit by bit. “There…” Nerevar smiled fondly. “You’ll have time for all of that when this is over. It’s only a couple of days right?” Nerevar asked, before working at a knot on Voryn’s shoulder. “Roll over and I’ll rub your back. You’re way too tense.”

Despite all his huffing and snarling, Voryn did roll over, face planted in a pillow, allowing Nerevar climb on top of him to massage him. For most alphas having an omega crawling on top of them in the middle of a rut like this was no doubt humiliating, but Voryn had in fact relaxed gradually. The scent in the air turned from one of hostility and warning to more of a gentle warmth as Nerevar continued to work knot after knot out of his back.

“What research are you working on now?” Nerevar asked, hoping some light conversation would help relax him further.

“Mm…” Voryn groaned softly, fingers clenching and unclenching the blankets under him. “Dwemeri explosive powder…”

“Making it?” Nerevar asked, raising a brow.

“No,” Voryn clarified. “Dwemer machinery is required to actually… Make it.” He hummed softly as Nerevar rubbed at his lower back, working the especially tense muscles nice and slow. “Machinery far too large and complicated to fit into Kogoruhn.”

“What about it then?”

“Dwarven oil has a number of alchemical properties…” Voryn continued. “I was hoping to test if their explosive powder had any as well.”

“Without blowing up half of your stronghold, I hope?” At that, Voryn snorted, before rolling over and forcing Nerevar off him now that he was much more relaxed. With a grin, Voryn tugged Nerevar down to be laying beside him.

“Unlike you, I don’t have a track record for blowing things up unintentionally.”

“You’re back on that again?” Nerevar groaned, offended but still laughing.

“I’m not the one who brought it up the first time.” Voryn smirked. “Though tell me, how many times has Dumac saved you from nearly stepping on a landmine again?”

“You’re being an asshole right now, you know that?” Nerevar shot him a playful glare.

“Well you’re an asshole all the time and it’s never stopped you.”

And just like that, the two were at it. Was wrestling an alpha in rut a good idea? Not in the slightest. However, the two used to playfully wrestle all the time as children and even teenagers, so it was… Oddly nice to do so again as adults. Typically Nerevar would win due to raw strength alone--and he could right now, of course--but he knew it was probably a terrible idea to piss an alpha off like that in the middle of a rut. So instead, Nerevar just put up a gentle fight, knocking several of the pillows and blankets off the plush bed, along with the books Nerevar brought earlier, all the while laughing. Then, once he felt Voryn was starting to get a bit too aggressive and his movements too hurried, he let the other pin him to the bed.

“Gods…” Nerevar laughed, breathlessly. “How long has it been since we wrestled like this?”

“Decades.” Voryn replied, equally as breathless. “Mm… But oddly nice to get the energy out.”

“I told you.” Nerevar grinned. “Nice to move around, get your mind off things… Sitting there stewing in it only makes it worse.”

“Don’t tell me you go around wrestling people in heat.” Nerevar nearly choked in laughter at that.

“No!” He had to roll over onto his side, holding his stomach from giggling. “Gods, fuck no! Azura’s mercy, I’m not that insane!” Another few chuckles followed as he tried to compose himself. “I can barely stand anyone touching me once it settles in. Everything feels so… Sharp and uncomfortable.”

“Does it?” Voryn raised an eyebrow, but climbed off Nerevar to flop down beside him. “That sounds… Unusual.”

Nerevar shrugged. “It’s always been like that.” He admitted as though it were nothing. “You wouldn’t it get it being an alpha, I guess.”

“Nerevar, I may not be an omega but that doesn’t mean I’m uneducated.” Voryn was oddly stern now, concerned. “Just like how you aren’t an alpha but understand how a rut works.”

“Look, what do you want me to say?” Nerevar asked. “No healer has ever told me anything is wrong with me. It just seemed the more time that went on, the more… Painful they got?” Nerevar groaned. “Well, not really painful, I’ve found a way around it for the most part--”

“So you’re coping with it like a poorly healed injury.”

“No!” Nerevar asserted. “It’s not an injury but a normal thing.”

“A normal process that isn’t acting as normal.”

“Look,” Nerevar rolled his eyes, “You can bother the healers back at the palace about it if you’re so concerned. But I’ve adjusted just fine to my heats. I lay in bed, have all my food ready, stacks of books and what have you, and I deal with it.” Nerevar gave him a playful kick. “Unlike someone who went a whole day without eating.”

Voryn rolled his eyes, getting up from the bed. “Fine fine, I’ll eat lord Nerevar.” Voryn replied, sarcastically. He then went over to his desk, finally eating the meal Nerevar brought him.

While he ate, they still chatted and talked, Nerevar laying casually on his bed. It hadn’t been the first time he’d done it, and Nerevar expected it wouldn’t be the last with their close friendship. Even as councilman and king, Nerevar saw them as close friends above all else. The closest friend he had, honestly.

Yet, as he laid there he found himself feeling… Uncomfortable. The air wasn’t stifling after Voryn calmed down, but Nerevar’s clothes felt… Itchy. Not to mention he was starting to feel feverish. Maybe that wrestling wasn’t a good idea if he was coming down with something, but he didn’t want to leave yet--he was mid conversation, after all, and it seemed like Voryn was still relaxing more and more. But, it wasn’t long until Nerevar was tossing and turning on the bed, trying to feel comfortable. Despite being fully dressed he got that same paranoid feeling he had being out in the open on the battlefield: antsy and exposed.

“Are you alright?” Voryn had finished by now, coming to the bed to look at him.

“Yeah just--” Nerevar sighed. “Uncomfortable.” Then, realizing how that might be interpreted, tried to cover for it. “Not that your bed is uncomfortable, I just feel… Off, all of a sudden.”

“How so?”

“My clothes feel itchy--” Nerevar was already scratching at his arms, writhing slightly to try and itch at his back. “It’s not flees, I just bathed… Not to mention it’s not like, bug bite itchy but like my clothes are way too rough…”

“Stress?” Voryn asked, looking at his arms to ensure he didn’t have a rash. “I could always look at your clothes to be sure.”

“Not a bad idea.” Nerevar began pulling his shirt up over his head to hand to Voryn who combed it over. Sure enough, the clean cloth had no parasites or bugs crawling around in it, but already Nerevar felt relieved. He kicked off his trousers while he was at it, left only in his undergarments and much more comfortable.

“Well the fabric is particularly rough.” Voryn remarked. “Thick material, more so used for keeping warm and dry rather than relaxing. Rolling around wrestling in it probably irritated your skin.” Nerevar snorted at that, especially as Voryn tossed one of his own silk robes on top of him. He used to have no problem wrestling in the ash and dust, but now slightly rough fabric was what was going to do him in? Although… The silk robe was a lot more comfortable, the soft fabric almost soothing his skin as he curled up with it on and tied shut, breathing deeply. Voryn’s sheets were also nice and soft…

“You are also feeling warm though…” Voryn brought the back of his hand to Nerevar’s forehead. “Not to mention I actually beat you at wrestling…” He looked concerned, “You weren’t mucking around the bitter coast again were you? Swamp fever has been on the rise there, and I know how much you love mudcrab hunting more than your own good--” Nerevar rolled his eyes.

“I came straight here from the propylon chamber, Voryn.” He did wear weather appropriate clothes given it was the cold and rainy season in northern VVardenfell, but that was just a precaution. “I wasn’t running around the bitter coast catching mudcrabs, I can assure you.”

“Here,” Voryn stood up now, pulling the pillows and blankets back on the bed to make Nerevar more comfortable. “Why don’t you just lay down for a few minutes and see if it goes down. If not, I have a cure disease potion around here somewhere…” He then got up after piling them all back on, rummaging through his shelves stocked with an astounding amount of alchemical books, ingredient chests, and potion bottles. ‘Controlled chaos’ as Voryn would say, though Nerevar could never make sense of it. But right now he was more than content to just lay there in the pile of pillows and blankets, breathing in nice and deep as his body started to go from uncomfortably hot to warm and fuzzy.

“I found it,” Voryn kneeled beside him, beckoning Nerevar to sit up properly. He groaned in annoyance; he just got fucking comfortable, now Voryn wanted him to sit up? But one look at Voryn’s eyes told Nerevar it was just for his own good, so reluctantly and without much fuss he sat up slightly, letting Voryn tilt his head and press the potion bottle to his lips. It briefly occurred to him he could drink it himself but… Well, Voryn was just being a loyal retainer and friend right? Ever loyal, doting Voryn.. Nerevar found that trait of his kind of endearing.

“Normally when I have to give you medicine you make such a fuss,” Voryn smiled softly, “You’re being a good boy right now, I see.” At the ‘good boy’ comment Nerevar’s breath hitched slightly as he sunk back onto the bed to lay on his side, Voryn piling more of the blankets and pillows around him so he was comfortable. Then, a hand threaded into his hair, rubbing at his scalp just like Nerevar liked, making him positively melt, mewling and moaning softly in pure delight.

“That’s it…” Voryn purred, “Such a good boy, aren’t you…?” Voryn then laid down behind him, nuzzling against him, his hands brushing across Nerevar’s chest and stomach in soft strokes…

Ah, Voryn was scenting him, something that wasn’t unwelcomed in the slightest. It was nice; being wrapped up in that warm, musky scent was only making him feel better. People would be able to smell Voryn on him after all, all over his body from his clothes to his hair and skin… Then again, he felt like he never wanted to leave the comfort of Voryn’s bed right now. He was content to just lay there being tended to, Voryn nuzzling him, feeding him, guarding him…

“Oh Neht,” Voryn buried his face in Nerevar’s neck, breathing in his scent directly, before his tongue swiped at a scent gland. That caught Nerevar’s attention, making him moan louder, squirming in Voryn’s arms.

“Hey--” Nerevar protested weakly. His mind felt fuzzy, but he knew that was crossing a line at least. “Watch it.”

“You smell divine…” Voryn purred. “Nice and sweet…” He resumed the licking, leaving Nerevar whining softly, his hips moving in small circles until Voryn pressed his hips firmly against Nerevar’s ass, holding him still with a growl. His cunt throbbed at that, suddenly overcome with the realization he was empty right now, so fucking empty--he needed something in him. Right now. Fingers, a toy, a cock, just something filling him up--

Then, Voryn was pulling back suddenly, jerking his hands away as though he was burned. Nerevar looked up at him confused and dazed, Voryn’s face flushed red.

“You’re in heat.” Voryn murmured, suddenly realizing what was going on. Nerevar, however, took a few moments to process his words, before anxiety bubbled up inside him.

“No I’m not--” He wasn’t the type to go into heat smelling an alpha in rut. He had never done so before, and he wasn’t due for his heat for a few months anyways. Besides, when he was in heat he was nesting and--

Nerevar glanced at the pillows and blankets Voryn had put around him, realizing when he had done so Nerevar felt much more secure and comfortable. He’d been antsy before, paranoid and feeling exposed until the soft, plush walls were around him. He also felt more sensitive to his clothes, feeling warm and aroused--

“I-I hate people touching me in heat,” Nerevar tried to explain quickly, sitting up and panicked. “I can’t be…” That was right, he couldn’t be. He hated being touched during his heat, growling and hissing as the touch was physically painful. But Voryn touching him hadn’t hurt at all, it felt…

Nerevar’s hands were trembling as he got up quickly, tugging the robe shut firmly and making sure the tie was secure, before he took off running for the propylon chamber. He wasn’t thinking clearly, he just knew he needed to not be there anymore. Something was wrong with him after all; very, very wrong with him. He paid no mind to Voryn calling after him, even as his anxiety spiked hearing the concern and anger in his voice; he just kept running through the halls, sprinting past servants and attendants until he made it to the chamber, giving quick orders to send him to Mournhold before he was teleported away.

At the palace, Nerevar didn’t stop to catch his breath either. The air felt cold and stifling as he continued running, spriting like a mad man until he made it to his room where he swiftly locked the door. He drew the curtains, blocking out the light until it was dark, his anxiety still not ceasing. He tripped on a chair in his scramble, swearing up a storm as he kicked and snarled, breaking a leg off the chair. He then grabbed it as he stood, throwing it to the wall resulting in the wood splintering against the heavy stone and knocking several tapestries down. Now in darkness he retreated to his bed, trying to curl up to find comfort.

His bed felt wrong. Wrong, disgusting, cold, uncomfortable… Even as he moved the blankets and pillows he just felt worse. None of them were as comfortable as Voryn’s bed, covered in his scent…

Nerevar tugged the robe off, burying his face in it, whining softly. The scent, despite being musky and strong, was so comforting. He never used to find an alpha’s scent so soothing before, why now? Even when he was in heat he’d growl if any alpha even so much as came near his room, so why this? Why now?!

A few servants knocked on the door, calling for him alarmed. Then a few healers. He didn’t respond to any of them, laying there in silence, too ashamed to even tell them to leave. It felt like his skin was crawling, and he simultaneously felt both hyper-aggressive and like he had no strength in him. Then it was Almalexia, knocking.

“Nerevar?!” He growled weakly; he didn’t want anyone to see him, let alone a different alpha--no, he needed to get rid of that mindset. Voryn wasn’t special, at least, not as an alpha. Voryn was his closest friend yet, but if he didn’t want to be seen by anyone, that meant anyone. Especially not Voryn, an alpha in rut, when he was obviously in heat.

“Are you injured?” She asked. “What happened in Kogoruhn--” A few more people spoke quietly to her, their voices too hushed for him to hear. In the back of his mind, he knew it was only logical she’d ask; he did come sprinting through the palace in one of Voryn’s robes, running like a pack of nix-hounds were trying to kill him. What was supposed to be a political meeting ending in such a sight would be a great cause of concern--one Nerevar should smooth over before anyone marched to Kogoruhn accusing Voryn of treason. But he didn’t have the energy to do so; all he wanted to do was curl up and forget the rest of the world entirely.

“Nerevar,” It was Vivec now, knocking at his door, voice level and a bit softer than how he usually spoke, “The healers are here, will you let them in?”

“I don’t need to see a healer.” He growled, enraged. It was stupid; Nerevar knew something was wrong with his body, but the idea of being seen by a bunch of strangers right now poking and prodding at him felt like a fate worse than death.

“Voryn is here.” A sensation ran straight through Nerevar he didn’t have a proper name for. Anticipation? Anxiety? Want? It was impossible to place, but it made him feel restless. “Would you prefer to see him?”

“No!” Nerevar suddenly snapped, his voice much louder than it had to be. He was terrified of what would happen if he saw Voryn again right now. Part of him wanted to, deep down; he wasn’t this restless and anxious simply laying in Voryn’s bed. In fact he felt nice--warm and fuzzy and safe. But he didn’t know what was going on, or what would happen if he followed that thread of desire to the end.

“Did Voryn hurt you?” Vivec asked, trying to get answers.

“He didn’t hurt me--” Nerevar snapped at that as well. Voryn would never hurt Nerevar. He knew that much. His whole body was screaming, suddenly offended at even the idea. Voryn had been trying so hard to take care of Nerevar, made sure he was comfortable, fed him medicine and even made a nest for him… A wave of heat washed over him quickly at the memory, followed by a spike in anxiety. “I just--I don’t know what’s going on!”

A few moments of silence followed, before Vivec sighed. “Let me come in.” That seemed less risky than healers he hardly knew or an alpha. Nerevar’s brain, as was so common while in heat, was in survival mode after all, constantly looking out for any potential threat. But Vivec was another omega, and a bonded one at that. Someone close to him and trusted.

After Nerevar gave a quiet answer, Vivec unlocked the door with a spell, slipping inside and then shutting and locking the door behind him. He approached the bed slowly, not sitting on it or touching him.

“Tell me what happened and I’ll tell the others.” His voice was quiet, knowing just how jumpy and aggressive an omega could get in this state.

“I…” Nerevar swallowed. He didn’t want to recount it, embarrassed now that his luck had in fact run out just like Voryn said it might. “Ruts don’t usually trigger heat in me.” Nerevar said, his voice wavering.

“I’m aware.”

“But it was…” Nerevar gave a shaky sigh. “I don’t… Know what happened. My body just started… Going into heat all of a sudden while I was laying on his bed, without me even realizing it.” Normally he could tell the warning signs of an impending heat: irritability, hunger, defensiveness, physical discomfort, even a sensitivity to light. “I also hate being touched when I’m in heat, it fucking hurts,” He hissed softly, remembering the warm, welcomed touch of Voryn’s hands on him as the other scented him. His skin burned despite no one touching him at the moment, and he wanted the relief of Voryn once again. Vivec still raised an eyebrow at that. “It always does but then I… It didn’t hurt when he was touching me. It felt… Nice. Relaxing.” Vivec hummed contemplatively at that.

“When he realized I was… Going into heat he pulled away. And I realized it too and panicked and ran back here.” He did regret making a scene but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do.

“I’ll speak with the healers.” The most they’d be able to do was a suppressant, but at this point Nerevar would take it. He wanted this feeling to stop. Desperately.

“Nerevar?!” He heard Voryn’s voice outside the door. “Nerevar, are you alright?” The concern in his voice had Nerevar’s heart racing, but he was still anxious about what would happen if he saw Voryn again. The sensation he was losing control was terrifying, after all.

“I think it would be best you see him, Neht.” Vivec said simply, moving towards the door. “He’s going to tear the palace apart trying to get to you.” Nerevar’s anxiety only grew at that; what if Voryn got hurt? What if people assumed the worst? Not to mention it was only making the other, strange feelings inside him grow all the more strong at the notion Voryn desperately needed him.

“L…” He hesitated, before he tugged the robe out from under him and back onto his body to make himself decent. “Let him in.”

As soon as the door was opened, Voryn shoved his way past the guards and Vivec into the room, Vivec retreating outside once more to hush the angered guards, attendants, and healers who wanted to drag him back out.

“Neht,” Voryn’s voice went hushed as he quickly made his way to the bed, climbing on without a care. Nerevar had half a mind to snap at him, before Voryn was stroking at his skin and scenting him again. He felt himself melting already from the familiar scent filling the room, along with the soothing touch on his skin. “Thank gods you’re alright.” The room still felt wrong, but he felt a hell of a lot better being tended to like this, the burning under his skin slowly fading.

“Voryn…” He murmured, closing his eyes. He tried to will himself to feel more comfortable; he was in his room, the same place he always was for all of his heats. Maybe it was because there were people outside his door? It was possible; he hated being bothered when he was in heat.

Then the door opened after a few, pleasant moments, Voryn growling with pure rage. The healer who entered was an older beta woman, but even she shuddered.

“I mean his majesty no harm.” It was a healer he saw many times in the past. She then glanced at Nerevar in the dim lighting. “I know what happened, Lord Nerevar.”

Nerevar sat up at that, eager for answers, but Voryn kept an arm wrapped around his waist securely.

“... In all honesty,” The healer began, sounding exacerbated, “I have never seen a case like this in all my years. But there is only one answer I can come to based on everything else.”

“Go on.” Nerevar tried to keep his voice level rather than annoyed. Azura knows how terrified most people got when he was angry.

The healer pinched the bridge of her nose.

“How familiar are you with fated mates?” At her question, Nerevar froze, stunned, before he gave a loud bark of laughter. The healer, however, did not laugh or smile back, and instead only looked more resolute.

“... Be serious with me.”

“I am being serious, Lord Nerevar.”

“Are you--are you seriously trying to say Voryn is my--”

“I understand how strange it sounds at first.” The healer cut him off. “Typically when someone meets their fated mate they determine it quickly. It only takes a few heat or rut cycles before the draw is undeniable.” She sighed once again. “I can only assume because you knew Lord Dagoth before either of you presented, the draw was less noticeable.”

It kind of made sense, to a degree. When people wrote about fated mates it was usually that they had a scent that was undeniable. Even passing by them on the street, you couldn’t get the scent out of your head for days on end, trying to find it again and again. Even those who tried to deny it couldn’t refuse the pull forever; heats and ruts were unbearable, the longing overwhelming the pair. No one had ever recorded an account of a fated pair who knew each other prior to presenting though; fated mates were absurdly rare, after all. They were more common in fiction than real life, and only the most hopeless of romantics ever went out actually looking for one. Most people just found a mate they liked rather than chase after some destined person, and why fated mates even existed was a mystery. Did everyone have one but distance kept them from finding one? That didn’t seem likely; the most common belief was that some people were born with them--not many members of the population, anyways--and even fewer actually found their ‘other half’. Someone meeting a fated mate before presenting, when you were children not off exploring the wider world yet, was even more unlikely.

Dumac told him the dwemer scholars believed it had something to do with ‘reproductive compatibility’. Not that it was a mystical, god given connection like some believed, but rather those with a fated partner were less compatible with most of the population, so when they did find someone they could produce children with easily, the desire to mate was enhanced strongly. Nerevar didn’t know if he liked that explanation either though. He found the ideas the gods made destined partners to love each other forever as too romantic of an idea for reality yes, but presuming there must be something wrong with them instead wasn’t much better.

It didn’t seem likely that he and Voryn could just ignore the draw for decades though, right? Surely that wouldn’t be possible. The draw was supposed to be strong, impossible to deny past a certain point.

Sure, when he was younger and Voryn was in a rut he always came by to check on him before he was shooed away, but that was just boredom. And when he was in heat Voryn would pass him notes under the door from time to time that he’d bury in the nests he made, but that was just because being in heat made him feel sensitive and sappy. Nothing more. And shouldn’t there be something more if they were a fated pair?

“Your other symptoms make me more certain of it.” The healer continued, pulling him from his thoughts.

“How so?” Nerevar raised an eyebrow.

“It isn’t healthy for an unmated omega to be around an alpha in rut.” She replied, a fact that always made Nerevar roll his eyes. “It causes excess stress, even if it doesn’t trigger a heat. Unless you are drawn to the alpha in question as a potential partner, usually a rut is off putting, distressing, or nauseating for an unmated omega.”

“They’ve never bothered me to that extent.” Nerevar snarked.

“Precisely.” She locked eyes with him. “You handle it more akin to an omega who’s already been mated, despite not having the scent of one.” Nerevar tensed at that. He hadn’t thought of it like that in the slightest; why would he? He wasn’t mated. Anyone could smell on him that he wasn’t. “Those who have met a fated partner experience mated behaviors before the bond is even set. Rejecting other suitors, unbothered by others in a heat or rut,” She sighed. “Lord Vivec even explained you were giving off the same scent as a bonded omega whose mate was absent.” Nerevar’s cheeks flushed at that.

“That’s--” Nerevar tensed slightly, “I wouldn’t go that far.” Surely Nerevar wasn’t. He wasn’t fucking bonded, why would he be throwing out the same scent as an omega who went into heat, begging for their mate to come tend to them?

“You were.” She asserted, though she did have some sympathy in her gaze at least. “Unfortunately, the best I can do is, if you truly don’t want the bond, I can give you suppressants. They won’t actively stop it right now given you already went into heat, but they should calm some of the worst side effects for a time.” Nerevar already knew what she was going to say next though. “But your next one will be much the same. The side effects will continue to worsen.” Short of running away to the other side of the continent and burning anything he owned that Voryn had ever so much as touched, he would be able to smell Voryn faintly, after all. In the palace, on his belongings, anywhere Voryn had been might trigger the worst of the symptoms all over again now that he had a heat triggered by his rut no doubt.

“At the very least, Lord Dagoth is in control of his emotions.” Voryn’s brow twitched at that, his arms tightening. “You can spend ruts and heats together without actually mating, until you come to a decision on how to proceed. It should alleviate both of your struggles.”

Shit, Nerevar hadn’t even considered what Voryn must be going through. Was his irritation and lack of eating because he subconsciously knew Nerevar was supposed to be his mate but wasn’t there by his side? When he was younger was that out of character, violent rage because he knew, right there in the stronghold, his mate was being kept from him? No doubt the next rut Voryn would be uncontrollable; before he could hold back because he wasn’t consciously aware of what he wanted, but now that he knew it was Nerevar…

Nerevar felt himself getting all the more wet at the prospect of Voryn tearing his way across the country for him, earning a low growl from Voryn and the healer clearing her throat.

“I’ll leave the two of you to discuss it.” She said, now turning to leave. Nerevar felt his cheeks flush in a rush of embarrassment; no doubt because he was in heat the arousal led to a surge of pheromones in the air all but begging for Voryn to fuck him. “We will be waiting outside for your answer.”

As soon as the door shut, Voryn was fussing over him again, marking him with his scent by nuzzling into his hair and against his cheek. But quickly the tension was melting off of Voryn’s body as he began apologizing.

“I’m so sorry, Neht.”

“This isn’t your fault.” Nerevar huffed. “I’m the idiot who deliberately stuck around after you told me not to.”

“You didn’t know either.” Voryn sighed. “I could have made you leave but I… I felt more comfortable with you there.” If it was anything like what Nerevar was going through he could understand it. “Besides… If what the healer said is true then this was bound to happen.” That was also true; it was a miracle it hadn’t happened until now. If it wasn’t Nerevar insisting on spending time with Voryn during a rut, it could just as easily be Voryn stumbling upon him in heat, or anything else really.

“Do you want to take the suppressants?” Voryn asked, and Nerevar sighed, shaking his head.

“No,” He rubbed his eyes, feeling sluggishness settle into his body. “It’ll help only temporarily, and make it worse next time around.”

“But they might help you think clearer.” Voryn countered. “I don’t want you making any decisions with a clouded head.”

“I’m not completely out of it, Voryn. A bit anxious, yes, but it’s not like I’m drunk.” Nerevar hated those kinds of assumptions; the stereotype that omegas were just needy, pathetic little things that couldn’t think for themselves once they were in heat was the most infuriating one.

At his anger though, Voryn hushed him, nuzzling into his neck apologetically and licking a scent gland. Nerevar huffed at first, still rigid, until the affection soothed him, now groaning softly in delight instead as he head fell to the side to give Voryn more room.

“Then,” Voryn began, “Would you prefer to stay here?” His hand rubbed soothing circles on Nerevar’s lower stomach. “Or do you want to return to my room?”

“Mm…” Nerevar knew it would probably be easier if he stayed here; he had healers and attendants he was used to, not to mention he knew the layout of his room well and kept it stocked with toys, erotica, anything he needed to help him get off. Even if the two of them only went so far as masturbating together rather than mating, those would be helpful.

But the room didn’t feel entirely comfortable, even with Voryn there. Damn hormones were likely acting up on that front, but no use arguing with something illogical.

“Your room is probably better.” He admitted, pulling himself out of Voryn’s arms to start packing. “Let me just get a few things and we can head back. Hopefully without the whole damn palace gossiping about it…”

“It’ll be alright.” Voryn reassured him, rubbing his back gently. “The palace was mostly quiet today.” He then coughed awkwardly, “Before I… Came running through after you.” Nerevar snorted at that. “After how thoroughly I scented you though I doubt most will be able to tell what’s going on.”

“Hopefully.” Nerevar wasn’t keeping it a secret he was an omega exactly, but he didn’t want to go shouting it to the world either. It was better to keep people guessing rather than anyone giving him shit for it unnecessarily. He still grabbed his travel pack, carelessly shoving some comfortable clothes and sleeping robes in, along with a few changes of underwear, and a favorite pillow of his. He also managed to cram in a few toys and a steamy novel he enjoyed, able to smell the spike of Voryn’s arousal at the sight from how strong his pheromones were.

Another trip through the propylon chamber later--this time less hurried and better dressed, and they were once again walking back to Voryn’s private chambers. On the way there Voryn ordered attendants as they went, requesting a large dinner to be brought to his room that evening for Nerevar too, as well that Nerevar would be staying in Kogoruhn for several days. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Nerevar was going to be spending Voryn’s rut with him, the servants all scrambling at the knowledge.

Just before they reached the room another healer appeared, handing Voryn several vials of potions, before giving a respectful bow and leaving. Voryn’s cheeks were more red at that, but he took them regardless, letting Nerevar enter the room.

It was mostly as he left it, albeit with a few blankets and pillows knocked off from his speedy exit and a few tapestries fallen off the wall from a door slamming. A wardrobe was left open, probably from Voryn’s scramble to make himself semi-decent before chasing after Nerevar.

He tossed his bag to the side of the bed, already feeling relieved to be back. Voryn locked the door behind them, moving to draw the curtains shut as Nerevar began fussing over the pillows and blankets, making sure the bed would be comfortable for him. With more than enough room for Voryn this time, something that had excitement bubbling away in his chest.

“What are the potions for?” Nerevar asked as he added his own pillow to the bed, still arranging it. It was annoying to do it in heat--normally he got started a few days prior, but whatever.

“... Birth control.” Voryn admitted, and Nerevar’s hands stopped briefly.

He knew that was only logical. Even if they ended up going further, actually having sex or mating entirely, most didn’t want to have kids the first time. It took a while to adjust to a mate, see if you wanted to keep the bond… Then again, it was said fated mates couldn’t remove the bond once they did mate.

Still, hearing ‘birth control’ made it seem that much more… Real. They were going to spending Voryn’s rut and Nerevar’s heat together. Very easily one thing could lead to another, and he could… Actually have sex with Voryn.

“... Better to be prepared than not.” Nerevar finally replied, resuming his work, before flopping into the nest he made. As soon as he was situated, Voryn stripped out of the additional robe he threw on top of his night clothes for decency, climbing in to lay beside Nerevar.

“Did you eat properly?” He asked, fretting over him. Nerevar snorted.

“Says the one who forgot to eat.” Nerevar teased.

“I was…” Voryn sighed. “Too anxious to eat. I get wound up during a rut, and the idea of eating was nauseating.” He closed his eyes. “Until you showed up.”

“Well I’m glad I made it easier for you.” Nerevar smiled. “And for your information, yes. I did in fact eat a large breakfast and lunch, as always.” He always had a big appetite after all, though he was especially ravenous during heats. “Though I wont say no to a big mudcrab feast for dinner~” Voryn laughed loudly at that, head thrown back and canines glinting. Nerevar swallowed roughly at the sight, subconsciously rubbing his own neck.

“I’m glad you’re well fed then.” Voryn was still smiling warmly. “Hopefully you won’t eat me out of house and home.”

“Get a bigger house then if I do.” Nerevar teased back.

“I certainly will have to, won’t I?” Voryn was smirking now, rolling on top of Nerevar. “I have to keep my mate well taken care of…” Voryn went back to his neck, kissing and licking now, earning several long, breathy moans from Nerevar.

Gods, did Nerevar know what Vivec meant when he said heats were so much easier like this. Nerevar thought obviously a mate or even just a potential one you spent a heat with would make it a bit more bearable. But this… He didn’t feel nearly as irritable as he usually was, now feeling quite secure, not to mention his arousal wasn’t frustrating it just…

“Mmm…” Voryn groaned softly, grinding his hips against Nerevar’s. “Such a sweet scent when you’re aroused…” Voryn nipped at his ear next, making Nerevar arch up and keen.

“Ah,” Nerevar gasped, grinding his hips in return, “Is it?” He didn’t have many people telling him he smelled sweet; usually he was compared to things that were fresh and bright, like citrus or herbs.

“Delightfully sweet.” Voryn purred. “Perfectly so, just to my taste…” Voryn then pulled up from his neck, taking his chin in hand.

Nerevar’s heartbeat accelerated from the look in Voryn’s eyes. In every raunchy novel he read, alphas were described as ravenously hungry when they stared down omegas, like a predator having just caught its prey. But here Nerevar didn’t feel like prey; Voryn’s eyes were hungry, yes, but more so they were warm, affectionate and…

Loving. Devoted. Like he would do anything and everything for Nerevar’s sake.

Nerevar’s eyes fell half shut as he found himself leaning up, Voryn meeting him halfway to connect their lips in a soft, gentle kiss.

It was entirely out of order; normally you kissed and courted someone before you invited them to spend a rut or heat with you, contrary to many smutty novels and ballads where the couple spontaneously fell into bed together during one. By Azura, the two already knew each other for so many years too, and they were just barely kissing…

Gods, no wonder people described it like fate. It felt insane that they hadn’t kissed before now. That it took so long for them to get here, sprawled out in bed together. The scent from Voryn was intoxicating as the kisses warmed up from slow and soft to passionate ones that made Nerevar feel entirely breathless. When Nerevar swiped his tongue into Voryn’s mouth, flicking briefly against his fangs, Nerevar shuddered, slipping one hand down between his thighs to rub back and forth against his dick.

“So eager…” Voryn moaned against his lips, his own hand joining Nerevar’s. Even through the fabric the touch was electric, Nerevar’s body trembling slightly. “Did you want a toy inside you then?” Voryn asked, his voice low and deep, the sound going straight to Nerevar’s cunt.

“Yeah…” Nerevar moaned softly. “A toy, your fingers…” Voryn was already undressing him, throwing the robe open and sliding his underwear off, “Anything…”

“My cock?” Voryn offered with a smirk, only joking. Still though, Nerevar groaned at the thought; fuck yes did he want Voryn’s cock in him, fucking him to completion and then knotting him. He was already dripping wet at just the idea, after all. But he also knew they should take things slower.

“T-toy for now…” Nerevar groaned through grit teeth, before hissing as Voryn played with his dick while fishing around in the bag beside the bed.

“Which one?” Voryn asked, still not letting up his teasing in the slightest. It felt so damn good, but Nerevar felt too empty! He threw an arm over his eyes, panting.

“Th-the…” Using his words was more difficult than he thought. “The one with the… Big knot~” A moment later, Voryn pulled it out, sliding the tip against Nerevar’s entrance. “Hah~!”

“Is this one your favorite?” Voryn asked, a devilish smirk still on his face. Nerevar didn’t even have to look, he could feel the pleased look on his face as he started to tease it in.

“Mm, when I’m in heat, yeah~” He could have lied, but what was the fucking point? Voryn was already fucking him with the damn thing, why play coy? Voryn slid it in a few inches, groaning softly as he watched it vanish into Nerevar’s body, before thrusting it in and out. It was a different rhythm than Nerevar used, but like everything else today it wasn’t unwelcomed.

“Oh I’ll bet…” Voryn purred. “When you’re in heat you love taking a nice,” He gave a sharper thrust, letting Nerevar take it all up to just before the knot, but not quite pushing it in, “Big knot in your greedy little cunt, don’t you?”

“Yes!”

“Would you fuck yourself to completion and then take the whole thing?” He continued moving at that sharp, hurried pace as he slid it in and out of Nerevar.

“Fuck, yes—yes!!” He was panting desperately now, savoring the feeling. Voryn’s dirty talk was making this all the better—how had he gone so long without this?! If he’d known it would be this good, he’d have climbed into Voryn’s bed long before this.

“Imagining someone breeding you up?” Voryn was panting too, watching Nerevar with rapt attention.

“Please,” Nerevar pleaded, feeling how close he was to an orgasm just hearing that. “Please, please~!” He tried grinding his hips down on the toy, desperate to feel the knot slipping inside him, but Voryn kept it from doing so.

“My knot is the only one you’re going to feel this time, Neht.” Voryn growled low in Nerevar’s ear. “Only mine.”

In response, Nerevar growled in return, quickly flipping positions as he climbed on top of Voryn instead. The toy completely slipped out, soon lost in the piles of pillows and blankets, as Voryn growled in return. The two were wrestling once again, though this time it wasn’t quite as playful. Honestly, Nerevar probably would have won this one by how seriously he was taking it, but heats made his body so groggy he wasn’t up to his usual strength.

“Get inside me then.” Nerevar demanded through grit teeth as Voryn shoved him back down, prying his legs back open.

“Lay there and I will.” Nerevar still snarled, thrashing. “Now hold still or I’ll make you.” The threat made his cunt ache again, a long moan crawling out of his throat.

“Potion—“ Nerevar freed one arm, reaching for them. Voryn grabbed one, placing it in Nerevar’s hand as he finished undressing himself. Nerevar uncapped it and threw his head back, chugging it.

To Oblivion with taking it slow. He needed Voryn—all of him.

He tossed the potion bottle aside, wrapping his arms around Voryn as he nuzzled his face into his neck, now being the one to lick and kiss at a scent gland, almost intoxicated by the spice and musk.

“Neht,” Voryn hissed.

“Let’s mate.” Nerevar whispered, before feeling Voryn tense up. Silence followed, except for Voryn’s heavy breathing.

“Nerevar we don’t have to mate just to—“

“I want to.” Nerevar pulled back enough to look at him. “Be honest with me Voryn, who else am I going to mate with?” The very idea Nerevar could mate with someone else made Voryn’s anger spike, clear from the scent he gave off. “And even if we just tried to deny mating, just spending heats and ruts together, we’ll both lose it eventually.” The draw was supposedly undeniable, and Nerevar wanted to do it at least semi lucid without pain and desperation making the experience less enjoyable.

“Besides,” Nerevar now gave a warm smile, the low light still twinkling in his eyes. “You’re a very devoted, loving, strong alpha…” Voryn shuddered. “Making sure I’m well fed, giving me medicine…”

“I have to take care of you…” Voryn whispered. “You mean the world to me.”

“Exactly.” Nerevar was still smiling, now thumbing at Voryn’s lower lip as he cupped his cheek. “Who else could possibly take care of me as well as you? You’re the one who’s always been there for me. You guarded my back in war, supported me on my quest to become hortator, and even long before I was a hero, just some canvasari not even wanted by his own house, you took care of me and showed me respect.” Just as easily, Voryn could have tossed him aside. Childish friendships with lower classes didn’t need to be kept by chimer nobility. Any other would have probably ‘outgrown’ Nerevar, but Voryn didn’t. Because Voryn didn’t just see Nerevar as a toy to be played with and tossed aside but as himself.

Honestly, even being tossed aside by another noble would have been a good outcome. Many would have also taken Nerevar as a concubine after he presented, or sold him off given he had nowhere else to go. But Voryn always saw him as a friend he treasured.

“But,” Voryn gave a sigh, “You don’t love me.”

Ah. Nerevar didn’t think Voryn was the type to only want to mate when you truly loved someone. It only made sense he supposed, most people did, but he was used to seeing things in terms of practicality.

“Voryn,” He stroked his cheek, “Maybe I don’t love you romantically… Yet.” Nerevar wouldn’t discount that at all; if he’d fall in love with anyone, right now he imagined it would be Voryn. “And I don’t really know… What it’s even like to fall in love with someone completely like that given I’ve only had a few flings and a political marriage but,” He looked up into Voryn’s eyes, never more certain in matters of the heart than he was now. “I do know I care about you deeply. More than anyone else in my life.” Nerevar licked his lips. “And there is no person in the world I’d rather be mated with than you.”

Silence then followed, Voryn staring at him in shock. Suddenly nervous, Nerevar began to backpedal slightly.

“Of course I understand if you want to wait. I-gods, it would probably be easier for you if we did the whole courtship and dating thing first, wouldn’t it—“ He was then cut off by a kiss, Voryn’s tongue swiping into his mouth.

“I want to mate with you, Neht.” Voryn whispered, as he pulled away with a smile. “Tonight.”

“Are you sure? I—“ Nerevar swallowed roughly as he felt Voryn lift one of his legs up, his own instincts screaming at him that he needed this—that he needed to stop talking and get fucked right then and there.

“I’m certain.” Voryn said, his tone unwavering as he kept that warm smile on his face, his eyes shining. “Do you want me to mate with you before, during, or after?”

Nerevar licked his lips, thinking it over. A claiming bite was said to be extremely pleasurable, once the initial pain wore off. Some preferred to get it out of the way before sex, enjoying their new bond before warming back up. Some preferred the orgasmic rush that came with a claiming bite in the middle of sex. Others preferred to claim their mates while they laid together, panting and connected after being knotted.

“Not before,” Nerevar answered, his whole body still feeling warm. “I can’t… I can’t wait that long.” His body was still screaming at him to move, push the alpha on top of him down and ride him if he wasn’t going to take Nerevar already. He was squirming, antsy under Voryn’s gaze, and feeling too fucking empty again to think properly.

“Here,” Voryn whispered, pressing the head of his cock to Nerevar’s entrance. Nerevar’s breath hitched, before giving a long, drawn out moan as Voryn slid inside. “Why don’t we just see what feels right in the moment…”

“Voryn~!” Nerevar arched up, trembling slightly.

It felt good. It felt right. It occurred to him, at that moment, that this was what he’d wanted every heat. Every struggling minute of desperation, every orgasm that didn’t quite feel satisfying enough—he wanted Voryn.

Voryn threaded his fingers with Nerevar’s, pinning both of his hands to the bed as he gave a slow thrust, kissing him for all he was worth. No wonder his heats were so much more unbearable after he moved to Mournhold—he had assumed it was the heat and stress of being king, but he knew now it was his body screaming at him to return back to Voryn. To lose himself in Voryn’s embrace, just like this.

“Fuck…” Voryn groaned as he pulled away from the messy kiss. “Incredible—you feel incredible~”

Such a comment only stroked his pride, adding to the pleasure. He was making his mate feel good. He was making his mate feel just as good as he felt. It was enough to make his head spin, as every thrust quickly matched that sharp, hurried pace Voryn had set earlier with the toy.

“Claim me~” Nerevar whined, turning his head to expose his neck. Nerevar could feel it—he wanted to be claimed. Oh gods did he want to be claimed! Before he felt disgust whenever alphas glanced at his neck, trying to determine if he was a claimed omega or a beta of some kind. But now though he wanted it more than anything—

Voryn complied, moving down quickly, not letting the pace of his thrusts falter as he growled, nuzzling Nerevar’s neck. He licked and kissed, listening to every sharp whine from Nerevar that followed, before finally biting.

Nerevar’s mind went blank the second Voryn bit him, his eyes rolling back as he orgasmed.

It felt unreal—every fucking novel he read left him sorely unprepared for the pleasurable rush that hit him. It was pure bliss; every nerve in his body burning brightly from ecstasy, as Voryn growled deeply.

He was officially mated. He belonged to Voryn. He found his mate and everything felt perfect, sparks still shooting up and down his spine as Voryn pulled his teeth out, panting and growling even more harshly as his hips somehow moved faster and rougher. He could feel Voryn’s knot forming too, pumping in and out of his cunt in a way that hit his sweet spot every time.

“Tight—!” Voryn snarled. “So tight, so damn tight… Neht!”

“Knot me…” Nerevar moaned, coaxing Voryn further, feeling intoxicated from the pleasure still coursing through him. “Knot me, breed me up~” He ground his hips down at every thrust inside him, forcing Voryn to change the rhythm. Now, every thrust in he stayed a moment longer, grinding down, his knot catching on Nerevar’s entrance.

By now, Voryn had let go of Nerevar’s hands, face still buried in Nerevar’s neck as he moaned and growled into his ear. “I’m going to,“ Voryn panted. “I’m going to breed you, knot you until I know my seed takes—!” It wouldn’t, not after the potion Nerevar took, but he wasn’t thinking logically at the moment. All he was thinking about was how great it felt being fucked and bred by his mate, his alpha. “Mine! You’re all mine! Mine mine mine mine mine—!”

Finally, the knot refused to slip out. It swelled up completely, pressed firmly inside him, and Nerevar gasped as a new sensation overtook him.

He felt himself tighten even further, making Voryn moan long and loud, as the two were now firmly locked together. An orgasm hit him next, even more intense than the one from the claiming bite. If the bite was an intense, all encompassing blast of fire—like a star going supernova—this one was a drawn out burn. His mind didn’t go blank, instead forcing him to focus on the pleasure, as he felt heat inside him.

“Fuck~!!” Nerevar yelled, practically screaming, dragging his nails down Voryn’s back as his body shuddered, his cunt clenching and milking the cock still firmly sealed inside him.

He knew what it was, yet he never really experienced it, so his knowledge was only really how it would be in theory. He never let an alpha knot him, after all; even if he had to have sex for political reasons he doused himself in perfume oil to hide his pheromones and always made sure they pulled out. Supposedly an omega locking happened much more commonly in heat, tightening around the knot as they orgasmed, keeping every drop of seed in to ensure conception…

Nerevar felt another wave of the long orgasm following, a broken, garbled moan spilling from his lips as Voryn rocked his hips.

“Stop moving!” Nerevar pleaded. If he kept rocking his knot right there—right against Nerevar’s sweet spot—he was never going to stop climaxing.

“Stop cumming!” Voryn hissed back, before groaning. “Oh gods you’re milking me for every drop!” He continued the slow rocking, as Nerevar felt fuller and fuller, his vision going hazy as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I can’t…” Nerevar whined. “Too full…” Nerevar groaned, still trembling. “It’s too much….” There was too much inside him—before he felt painfully empty, and now he felt far too full. Voryn’s cock, his knot, and every drop of seed was filling him—

Another wave of pleasure followed, as Voryn growled.

“Your body wants this so badly…” He snarled, nipping at the claiming bite he left. “Get pregnant!” He hissed, enjoying the way Nerevar’s body tightened around him once more. The command was enough to make him shudder, yet another wave of pleasure following. “Get pregnant, get pregnant!” Voryn urged with a bit more rocking, before Nerevar tugged him into another messy, open mouthed kiss.

If it wasn’t for the potion, Nerevar knew he would be. It seemed impossible for him not to conceive when it felt this good—when he was so full and not a drop spilling out of him despite Voryn’s movements…

Eventually the pleasure subsided, Voryn’s movements slowing as their kiss went from feral and intense to something slower and lazier, kissing each other over and over as Nerevar ran his hands through Voryn’s long hair.

“Fuck…” Nerevar groaned, breathlessly. “Intense…” It felt like an understatement, but that was the only word that came to mind as Voryn panted.

“Gods…” Voryn groaned. “You were… Tighter than I had expected…” He hissed, shifting slightly again, but this time just to help them lay more comfortably.

“It still feels too big…” Nerevar groaned. Now it was slightly uncomfortable, but he knew the more they did this, the more his body would adjust. To help ease his discomfort, Voryn pressed a few gentle kisses to his face, keeping himself still.

“Is it too full?” Voryn asked, and Nerevar nodded. Voryn sat up slightly, and the pressure being taken off his lower stomach was a relief, especially as Voryn caressed it.

As Nerevar looked down, he could see why: there was a slight swell in his stomach from the pressure. He groaned, already regretting the decision to have sex on his back. He knew now why omegas preferred mating face down, and that it had nothing to do with submission and instead purely comfort.

“Don’t worry,” Voryn reassured him. “Just a few minutes…” His voice trailed off as his eyes went dark, taking in the sight of Nerevar under him, panting and covered in sweat, filled with his seed. Nerevar could tell what he was thinking from the change of the scent in the air, sparks from their newly formed connection.

“Like what you see…?” Nerevar asked with a toothy, cocky grin, only to groan as he felt Voryn shift again.

“Keep acting like that and I’ll only want to take you again…” Voryn replied, his voice low. Nerevar still felt rather proud at that; his mate didn’t like a soft, demure, and submissive type of omega like he always kind of worried an alpha would demand once they mated. Instead, Voryn seemed to enjoy him earnestly, even with all of his showboating and teasing.

“Maybe you should…” Nerevar purred in response. “We can have dinner, a relaxing bath to recover…” Nerevar’s eyes were half lidded as he spoke. “And then you can fill me up all over again…”

The warm, messy kiss Voryn gave him was all the answer Nerevar needed.

#nerevoryn #nerevar #indoril nerevar #voryn dagoth #ill edit this and post it on ao3 later #curse all the citizens of the fanfic website #my writing #not sfw #i already have more curse omegaverse ideas for these idiots #like neht going into heat suddenly while still a canvasari and voryn having to protect him all the way back to kogoruhn #but i will let you all suffer with this #for now

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kytsuine-blog · 5 days

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Ok so I'm going to do a better, Tumblr-focused writeup soon and also track down those blogs to talk about them more specifically, but I fell for a misinformation scheme today and want to talk about how and why. Here's an email I sent my little cousin about it.

This morning, I encountered a Tumblr post talking about the TikTok ban and the government's attempt to severely curtail digital privacy rights as part of it.

I had heard that the TikTok ban was currently up for debate in the Senate, after passing the House with strong bipartisan support. I was not surprised by the information in the screenshots; it matched with things I knew the government had tried to do often in the past, and often under similar circumstances. I looked up the bill linked to verify, and yeah, it was an active bill that had been introduced in the Senate. (I should have realized then that there was an issue with what I was reading, but in my defense it was about 6:00 AM, and I was just glancing over things in the parking lot before going in to work.)

Concerned for the digital privacy and security of my family, and especially the ones I can't just drive to, I drafted the following message to you:

"I haven't had time to read all the way through the RESTRICT act that the Senate proposed, but summaries I've seen indicate that as written it's a massive overreach. It's better known as the TikTok ban; the news has been focusing on that part as it passes through Congress so far.

I always sign my emails to you with my public key. Both of you should look up how to use PGP to send me encrypted emails with that. It may become even more important soon to normalize secure encryption in Internet communications, and there may also be things that we wish to discuss that state or federal laws may frown on in the future.

I planned to introduce topics related to computer and information security more gradually, but making sure that talking about those is possible at all is an important part of that.

Congress.gov page on the bill

Tweet thread"

(As an aside, I do still think that normalizing encryption is a very worthwhile thing to do; it makes the web a safer place for activists and informants needing a way to communicate without surveillance, without being singled out as enemies of the surveillance state.)

I then checked through the notes of the Tumblr post to see if there was more context I wanted to share, and noticed people who called out a detail that I missed. That post was first posted in March of 2023, a little over a year ago. It refers to an entirely different bill than the TikTok ban which is currently going through the Senate, one which activists successfully stalled (and likely killed) last year. This year's bill is much more targeted (though, as implemented, I still have issues with it); its text can be found here.

This is a classic example of how misinformation spreads. I did not have bad intent when I went to share that commentary on last year's bill with you, and I did not find it from someone with bad intent (in fact, she subsequently shared a commentary I posted on the actual bill, in reply to her original incorrect post.) From what I can tell, on March 14, a number of mostly inactive politically-focused blogs all shared that post directly from the original poster (not from someone who had it in their feed, like a normal Tumblr interaction). Each of these was tagged with fairly popular political tags. None of these blogs has posted since, keeping it at the top of their page to get more eyes on it.

Misinformation is spread deliberately, and it takes caution and checking of your biases to combat it. I almost fell for this one because I expected it to be true. I should have checked on it before sharing anything at all. Looking at it now, I ask: who benefits from this?

Most directly, proponents of the current TikTok ban benefit from activist efforts being directed towards a functionally dead bill. This, apparently, includes the strong majority of the House, on both sides of the aisle; it may be assumed that it also includes the government's surveillance agencies (as it is easier to compel data from American companies than from foreign ones, particularly Chinese ones). It could also include other social media sites, especially those like YouTube and Instagram that compete directly with TikTok in the realm of algorithmically driven short videos.

More abstractly, though, this misinformation benefits the status quo, and conservatism as a whole. By causing people who are invested in the TikTok ban (mostly left-leaning people) to engage with more stringent and concerning bills, stress is increased on activists and burnout becomes more likely. Targeting the mental health of left-leaning activists is a tactic we've seen multiple times recently in misinformation campaigns; another example is the "the Guardian is doing a story on DIY HRT" hoax that recently circulated among my trans friends. This type of stressful lie misinformation serves the dual purpose of causing activists to burn out and decreasing trust among communities that share it.

This is a new specific strategy to me, but the solution is the same as ever. Check your sources when you speak publicly, check how your biases affect what ideas seem "clearly correct", and aim for your statements to maximize quality, rather than quantity. That's a discipline I still need to refine, but it's not hard. Just requires a bit of diligence.

#misinformation #hoaxes #TikTok ban #sb 686 #hr 7581 #this is why timestamps are important

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thatgirl4815 · 9 months

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Intimacy Progression Per Couple (Ep 1)

In this tweet, Jojo mentions how sex will reappear throughout the series because all of the relationships are based upon it. This got me thinking about how we’ve seen these relationships progress so far (in sex and otherwise) and how these progressions are indicative of each couples’ plot down the line.

I mentioned once before that in terms of progression, the couples follow a semi-“Goldilocks” formula, though only where physical intimacy is concerned. From this standpoint, RaySand and BostonNick stand on opposite sides of the spectrum, with TopMew fitting nicely in the middle. It’s interesting that they’ve been laid out this way because 1) it creates variety and 2) this variety suggests the role sex could play in the foundations of each relationship.

RaySand

Before the series aired, I was massively confused about the distinction between Bed Friend and FWB (still am, tbh). But after episode 1, we know that RaySand has at least some emotional foundation to their relationship prior to their sleeping together. I believe in their case, they will be friendly towards each other (idk if I'd call it a "friendship" exactly) beforehand, unlike their direct counterpart BostonNick, who had sex before any sort of emotional connection was built.

RaySand’s story being noticeably devoid of romance so far (despite the obvious hints of it) is what leads me to believe that they have the greatest chance of working through their issues. This is not to say that any relationship rooted in sex from the get-go is doomed to fail, but the fact that we have been exposed to the individual aspects of Ray and Sand—namely, Ray’s drinking problem and Sand’s helpfulness—before their characterization as a couple implies that their relationship will focus a lot on their individual issues and how those pose a threat to relationships in general. For Ray, it seems pretty clear what those issues could be given his very obvious drinking and self-worth problem. For Sand, those issues still remain unclear.

Again, this is not to say that the other couples are not given individual characterization prior to their relationships with each other--with the exception of maybe Nick, given that we see him rather sparingly in this first episode and the only thing we see him do each time is a) thirst over Boston or b) hook up with Boston. So not too much to work with there (yet). While Sand is scarcely seen outside of his interactions with Ray in episode 1, these interactions notably say a lot about who he is as a person independent of Ray (helpful, frustrated, patient, forgiving, etc.). For Ray, we're provided some additional context for his self-worth issues from his interactions with his friends as well as Sand.

I don't think RaySand is going to remain chaste for very long considering the show we're watching, but the fact that we have been given a slower build to it could say something interesting about the nature of their relationship (and where sex is involved). My guess is that RaySand's relationship will be more rooted in the comforter-comfortee trope (for lack of a better term): Sand gives and Ray receives. These roles have already been set up in episode 1, and I think they will maintain them for a period of time before Ray's inability to give back to Sand (emotionally, as opposed to physically) forms a wedge between them (see Sand's "Focus on me for once, will you?").

I would argue that sex will bring Ray and Sand closer, but I think it will inevitably mean more to them once they realize that there are actual emotions involved; what one (or both) might imagine as a hookup soon becomes a dependency. Which brings me to...

BostonNick

As mentioned above, BostonNick establish a sexual relationship before anything else. The parameters, even now, are pretty clear: they don't know each other but they're attracted to one another, they hook up and continue to do so = FWB. The problem being that Nick starts to develop actual feelings, wanting an exclusive relationship with Boston who has no desire to be exclusive with anyone (except for maybe Top, but that's up for debate).

So far, the importance of sex to this relationship is pretty clear: it is the relationship, in fact. Based on the trailer, there is a very clear boundary that Boston wants to uphold that Nick is determined to challenge. For Boston then, sex is a selfish act (this reminds me of what we heard Top tell Mew in the trailer about wanting to make him as happy as possible--I believe Boston could relate to the idea of desiring sex wholly for his own pleasure rather than his partner's).

I think Boston navigates sex in fascinating ways, and we see that through Top. I still believe Boston desires Top to feed his own ego and not much more. He can't understand how someone like Top could honestly want someone like Mew beyond a hookup. Could any of this have to do with Boston's deep-seated insecurities about relationships? Is he scared of forming a long-lasting relationship, so he settles for these quick one-offs to boost his ego and be done with it? Is he simply disinterested in settling when there are so many options? These are all questions that we don't have enough context to answer, but I think Nick's influence will force him to contend with them a bit. I'd imagine there has to be at least some of this conflict in BostonNick's storyline, otherwise the plot would be rather static.

TopMew

Mew's response to Top's advances provides a good outlook on his own values and boundaries. Just as Top views Mew as a challenge, I think Mew view Top as a similar challenge. Mew isn't naive; he knows who Top is just like he knows who Boston is. He will play Top like a fiddle. In that sense, I think he is withholding sex for two reasons: 1) because of his own values, as he states, and 2) because it's the thing he knows Top desires. To test Top's intentions, he can simply withhold sex and see whether Top's interest wanes. (This is likely what leads Top back to Boston, affirming what Mew already suspects about Top and Boston's similarities.)

For both players in TopMew and BostonNick, sex means something different. For Top and Boston, we can assume they have fairly similar ideas of it (which will notably change over the course of the series, I'm sure). For Mew, sex is about more than temporary satisfaction--it's something he holds in high esteem and wants to cherish with someone he's built a strong relationship with. For Nick, sex is a way of bringing him closer to Boston emotionally (tbh, I'm sure Nick didn't plan on forming an emotional attachment to Boston, but here we are).

*Side note, but it's funny that Nick seems on par for the course that Mew outlines for Top in episode 1:

Mew has an acute understanding of himself, and that's what gives him all the power in his relationship with Top. Top might think he's in control, but Mew is the one dictating. And if Top decides to leave, then Mew will have simply proven what he has suspected since their first night together. Mew wins no matter what (unless, of course, he starts to cave and lets his real feelings get involved).

~ X ~

This ended up being a bit of a rant, but in response to those critics on Twitter that Jojo felt the need to call out: sex isn't just sex for the sake of it. It's already informing the way these characters view themselves and their emotional ties. The emotional element of sex seems like a major component in the series, as the lines between mere physical intimacy blur with those of emotional intimacy. I think we will see that conflict come up in each of the relationships to some degree, but in vastly different ways.

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another-fire-emblem-sideblog · 1 year

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In case I delete my damn Twitter (I really should), I want to preserve the only tweets I ever made that I liked. Which, unfortunately, was rating every Fire Emblem Final Boss on their fuckability (remixed).

I'm sorry.

(Note: I confess that I am not a monsterfucker, yes yes leave your angry comments below, and I will be ranking every boss on their most anthropomorphized form to even the playing field)

(Edited on 2/17/2024)

MEDEUS (FE1/FE3/FE11/FE12)

Oh boy here comes the most generic villain ready to offer me the most generic sex possible. How could I ever contain my excitement

VERDICT: Look tumblr likes to make evil sex with your evil spouse look de facto exciting but even the spark can go out of villain sex. If he's a boring villain in the streets he'll be a boring villain in the sheets.

DUMA (FE2, FE15)

Man I am so glad that the remake gave Duma a human form and I don't have to be talking about ~~Duma's wiggles~~

VERDICT: I will confess to not being particularly attracted to him, but.... Not to spoil anything but he's going to be one of the better picks on this list.

JULIUS (FE4)

He is a child.

VERDICT: He is a child.

VELD (FE5)

Oh boy, you KNOW he fucks with the same enthusiasm of a disgruntled middle manager fitting in a quickie between reruns of Home Improvement with a wife that he's a decade past loving.

VERDICT: I mean there are worse choices on this list but love yourself.

IDUNN (FE6)

Even putting her somewhat... neotenous features aside, the whole free will removal kinda makes the idea of sex with her pretty unethical at best.

VERDICT: And even if we ignore all that she got one rounded by Roy. Total turn off.

FIRE DRAGON (FE7)

There is no anthropomorphized form. It's just a dragon.

VERDICT: I have concerns about size differentials here.

LYON (as possessed by FORMORTIIS) (FE8)

Ok, ok, I acknowledge this one is kind of a stretch as those two are separate entities and the Formortiis you fight is NOT in the shell of Lyon but like. Give me a break. I know you horny fuckers want Formortiis to become intimate with your intestines. I'm terribly sorry this stupid post isn't for you.

VERDICT: Let's be real. Unless you're Eirika or Ephraim (or willing to put on some cosplay) he won't be bringing his A-game. If you are, though... oooh. Boy. The emotion would run high. There would be crying. I'll leave it up to you as to whether this is a plus or minus.

ASHNARD (FE9)

Unlike some other options on this list, it is at least 100% proven that he has had sex, if only as a means to an end. I honestly doubt whether he would fuck for any other reason to be honest

VERDICT: If, for some reason, being used as a genetic experiment isn't a turn off, he's absolutely going to ask if he can turn a family member of yours into a mindless war beast, probably immediately after the sex. If for some reason this still isn't a turn off, uhhhhh I hope y'all are happy together.

ASHERA (FE10)

While I could imagine most of the other characters in this list being open to the idea of sex, I really couldn't see Ashera being DTF. But...

VERDICT: She's hot in a scary Drakengard way, so I'd say it's worth at least shooting your shot. She'd probably turn you to stone, but that's the risk you take for love.

ROBIN (As possessed by GRIMA) (FE13)

Fell Robin is a great example of the effects of evil on human attractiveness. On their own, Robin is human tofu. They are a perfect 5/10. Being possessed raises their score to at least 6/10.

VERDICT: 6/10 is better than average. Why not.

TAKUMI (FE14)

As far as I know, he doesn't have an official age, but I see this character and I think "that's baby"

VERDICT: All I want to do is give him butterscotch candies and ask him how he's doing in school.

GARON (FE14)

Like Ashnard, at least you can say he definitely fucked. Quite a bit, considering the excess of children he has (discounting his propensity for picking them up off the streets) So, uh, he's got one thing going for him?

VERDICT: He has this expression the entire time.

The

Entire

Time.

ANANKOS (FE14)

man who fucking cares

NEMESIS (FE16)

He's the only final boss in Three Houses that doesn't turn into a big ol' monster so he's got that going for him (or against him, depending on your point of view.) Unfortunately, he is, however, a zombie, which I would rate as worse.

VERDICT: One certainly can't say he's slacking on the gym routine but... zombie. Does he smell? Ew.

EDELGARD (FE16)

It's everyone favorite problematic waifu! What is there to say about her that hasn't been said before.

VERDICT: No, I mean really. Uh... if you like her I said she was stinky and if you hate her Edelgard come step on me uwu. Everyone can be mad at me. It's fun for the whole family.

RHEA (FE16)

Rhea is a scary, scary woman and fucking her would ruin your life

VERDICT: Rhea can totally get it.

EDIT: As of this writing (2/17/2024) I have beaten Fire Emblem Engage, and have edited this section accordingly.

SOMBRON (FE17)

Like Garon, Sombron canonically fucks. A LOT. This does not mean he's necessarily any good at it, mind, but he's got to at least... know... stuff, right? He was able to turn the yaoification beam on Hyacinth so he's clearly not completely lacking in sexual appeal. He will NOT wear a condom tho, although who on this list would?

VERDICT: I feel like you'd need to have some very specific fetishes for this to be a good idea, but if you do... have fun?

As for Heroes, I will confess that I only played Heroes very briefly; I don't know shit about the story and will have to rely on the wiki. So if I get some stuff wrong, apologies that I didn't play a shitty gacha. I was too busy... uhhhh having sex with your mom (NOTE TO SELF DELETE LATER)

BRUNO (Heroes, Book 1)

This bitch loses shirts like a Yakuza character. His abs have more screentime than his face. He pops on screen and Yusuke Kozaki manifests behind you and whispers in your ear "don't you just HUNGER for his dick????"

VERDICT: Oh come on.

SURTR (Heroes, Book 2)

Uh... he was pretty good on my team for the brief moment that I played. Uh... shit let's consult the wiki

VERDICT: ...oh. He's not very nice at all. Yeah don't fuck him.

HEL (Heroes, Book 3)

Ok. Look. Listen. Ok. Ok. Look. Ok. Ok. Listen. Ok. Listen. Listen. Listen. Ok. Look. Ok. Look. Listen. Listen. Look.

VERDICT: ...

...

...yeah...

FREYJA (Heroes, Book 4)

Ok, she's cute, but... I don't know. I just don't vibe with her design. It screams "designed for lonely dudes" and I'm a lonely GAL thank you.

VERDICT: Bring back the goth milfs.

EITRI (Heroes, Book 5)

NO.

VERDICT: NO.

EMBLA (Heroes Book 6 oh my god how many fucking books are there)

Oooh, she looks deranged! I like that; I'm a big supporter for women's wrongs.

VERDICT: ...Admittedly, she has more "wet drowned rat" appeal than sex appeal.

Book 7 isn't actually done yet (I think) as of time of this writing so I'm DONE. NO MORE.

#fire emblem #i would totally understand if you unfollow me after this #long post

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bakedbakermom · 4 months

Note

Hi ! I’m relatively new to txf fandom and you seem very knowledgeable and lovely, and I just saw a post that had this tweet and I wanted to ask if there’s a fic like that for us ? And if not, do you have any recommendations for your all time favorite txf fics ? Thank you :)

Well aren't you sweet. Not sure about knowledgeable and lovely, but I am quite susceptible to flattery!

Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 fics that have remained key pieces in the fandom since their publication:

Arizona Highways by Fialka Fialka's entire body of work is astonishing, but AH remains not only a staple for the XF fandom, but is widely regarded as one of the classics of fanfiction itself. It made an impressive showing at the 2000 Spooky Awards (fanfic awards within the fandom), winning the outstanding novel, x-file (casefile), angst, Scully characterization, and "other" character categories, and second place for outstanding Mulder characterization.

The story provides a resolution to the Emily arc that both fans and characters were otherwise denied in show canon. It follows Scully, Mulder, and Kresge (from the Christmas Carol/Emily episodes) as they discover that Emily - like the Samanthas and other clones - was but one of a series of children produced from Scully's ova to be test subjects in the wider hybridization conspiracy.

Iolokus by RivkaT and MustangSally A grim alternate universe take on the show's mytharc, this fic is highly controversial due to its bleak takes on Mulder and Scully's characterization, and the horrible things they endure throughout. Clones, rape, human experiments... I must admit that I have not finished this one - it got too dark for me quite early on - but it remains bookmarked for a time I feel ready to get into it.

This fic is both famous and infamous, and has been sparking controversy since its first publication in 1998. Proceed at your own risk.

Incrementum by Lepusarcticus A far more recent entry into the fandom (2017), this work is a series of canon-compliant alternate-universe vignettes which explore what would have happened if Mulder and Scully's romantic and sexual relationship had begun much, much earlier than in canon.

Honorable mention goes to Parabiosis by Penumbra which explores Mulder and Scully's shifting relationship throughout season seven. Penumbra is another author whose entire body of work is worthy of a deep-dive; Fathoms Five is a stunning piece concerning Scully's struggle to understand her own immortality as the world around her marches inexorably onward, and Upsidaisium is a heart-breaking story set in the long grim night of Gethsemane.

Also of note is the series Life During Wartime, a years-long collaboration between four of the fandom's best writers (Maria Nicole, cofax7, finisterre/Marasmus, and Fialka) exploring the colonization apocalypse that never came. Sweet, heart-wrenching, poignant, and fearless.

Do also check out the fics listed under the various categories of the Spooky Awards (linked above) - some are enduring classics, some are great stories that have merely been buried in the sands of time. Many of the fics listed there can be found on Gossamer (one of the few surviving archives from the show's original run and a fandom archaeologist's wet dream) or X-Libris (one person's effort to save older fics and their art from the Wayback Machine in epub and pdf format for posterity and personal use).

Also dig through the XF Book Club's archive on Livejournal for some interesting pieces you can browse by category - and as an added bonus, you can watch fellow fans debate, critique, and generally lose their minds in the comments section!

I know I have some mutuals who are fellow fandom-oldies (or newcomers who have done deep dives) so please feel free to add your recommendations to this post.

#txf #fanfic #fandom history #fandom lore #fic rec

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wildpeachfarm · 17 days

Note

Idk maybe I’m stupid but can someone explain it to me like I’m 5 years old how Hannah has enabled or how her audience has pushed TERF ideas or rhetoric? Because it’s the one place the dots are not connecting for me every single time this conversation gets rehashed. I think it’s fine to disagree with how she’s acted in all of this, but it feels like taking what could just be called shitty or annoying and turning it into a moral issue when it doesn’t really NEED to be one to claim she or her audience are acting like TERFs. I just would like to hear one explicit example of how this is the case. Because I just cannot see how it’s “TERF-y” for a woman who has spent years facing immense levels of misogyny to make the decision to distance herself from friends who potentially victimized another woman which looks extremely horrible on the surface, even if her decision was made suddenly and under pressure. Whether she regrets it or not is not relevant to it; it just feels like an extreme lack of empathy to take how she reacted while under a microscope to a situation that looked horrible at first glance and claim it’s her pushing harmful ideas. Especially when she deleted most of her original tweets about it anyways and has not spoken on it since. And I don’t even mean this as hate, I am just genuinely asking. Because I don’t necessarily love her distancing herself either, I just also don’t see the reason to keep harping on her about it or making it into some huge moral issue where she is in the wrong when it does not have to be one. And especially when other women involved from the sidelines have done the same or more than her. Sometimes we can just say behaviors are shitty or nasty and leave it at that.

ehhh honestly that's not even a part of that ask that I was hard agreeing with and that's also just anons opinion, but also I myself wouldn't even go as far as to say "terf rhetoric enabler" (because I don't agree with that) but more so just concerned that she could be attracting a bad crowd in her fanbase unintentionally that some people wish she became more aware of.

last time i talked about this i was getting yelled at to hell and back and being purposefully misunderstood as claiming she was somehow creating a terf army in her fanbase which...let me be crystal fucking clear I AM NOT SAYING OR EVEN IMPLYING. Nor am I saying that her actions in response to the gogcident are somehow fueling terf ideologies. Not saying that at all and please don't think or claim I am saying that.

However, recently a decent amount of people have seen an increase in people in her fanbase (even some that she interacts pretty frequently with) start speaking using terf and specifically radfem phrases (notably during and right after the gogcident) which was raising some red flags for people who are either fans of hers or on the periphery. Now, I've said before that of course hannah probably does not know this and it's not her job to do a background check on everyone she follows on twitch and interacts with on twitter (that is just a ridiculous expectation). However, I think that when you speak a lot about feminist issues, etc. (all very important topics to discuss!) sometimes terfs and radfems just come into your community because they think you are all talking about the same things and have the same ideology. But, as your community grows and as that portion of your fanbase starts concerning people, I think it could be good for CCs to at least be aware of it. Personally, I have more issue with certain fans than with hannah herself but I do think some of her mods are shitty and she needs to stop it with the idea that "any friend of hers that makes a big mistake is no longer a friend" because that's just not going to hold up for very long in the real world.

As per her reaction to the george situation: yeah it was incredibly shitty and honestly I think she could have been fine waiting a bit before making responses because her quick jumps to conclusions (and shooting friendly fire at sylvee in the process) without talking to anyone involved first was a very foolish thing to do and disappointed a lot of people.

I feel like a broken record for constantly having to say this but I get that these female CCs want to do good by the women in the gaming space, i get it. But sometimes they make impactful mistakes and publicly react to situations poorly and I will say that about any cc who I think makes a poor call, guy or gal. I will always have empathy for people reacting badly to initial news dropping like this because I don't know what these people have gone through in their lives, but what I don't have as much empathy for is people immediately broadcasting their initial emotional thoughts all over twitter and then backpedaling when they realize they were being too extreme or emotional. I have criticized Dream for that, and I will criticize Hannah for that.

And you're right not everything needs to be a moral discussion! I don't really agree with people that are trying to heavily mix these two discussions because I honestly don't think they really coincide that much anyway.

I will never say her reaction is "terf-y" because it's just not. These are two separate discussions in my mind so to put them together in that way just isn't something I necessarily will agree with. And I've said this probably 10 times at this point, that I have never once said Hannah intentionally fueling terf/radfem rhetoric in her fanbase. I'm saying it's a somewhat inevitable byproduct of being a large female CC who speaks on feminism and misogyny on the internet. It happens to tiktokers, youtubers, other streamers, etc. This is not a hannah specific issue but people in the mcyt see it with some of her fans because she's simply just a larger female CC so of course her fans are more easy to spot. (same logic on a larger scale applies to the few bad apple dream stans that get the spotlight because of how popular dream is)

Hopefully this makes sense, it is nearly midnight for me right now so I am very tired but I wanted to answer this as thoroughly as I could because it's always an important distinction I want to make and I hate being misunderstood.

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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seelestia · 2 years

Note

weird idea but i am thinking abt ayato with a reader that hates the raiden shogun for various reasons, brainrot anon btw (your writing is amazing btw)

— 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫.

[ a mini sequel to persevere. ]

word count: 1.1k+ words.

genre: ayato x reader, hurt/comfort, established (and official, no more secret) relationship.

notes: reader's vision (unspecified element) was confiscated during the vision hunt decree, takes place after the abolishment of the decree.

cw: none, petnames.

thoughts: as soon as i read your ask, my mind instantly flickered to the last ayato brainrot you sent! so, i kinda translated the 'hate' as a grudge here. and i'm honored that you think my writing is amazing, tyyy :( (sorry if this isn't what you had in mind btw <//3)

the birds tweet, rays of sunlight begin to peek through the clouds above, and the morning breeze blows. it has been so long since kamisato ayato is greeted with such peace in the air.

no thunders, no turmoil.

a perfect resemblance for the hearts of many after the abolishment of the vision hunt decree. ah, but perhaps, calling the current reality perfect is pushing it too far?

even if the decree has been lifted, the consequences left behind still linger among the people. the events of the decree aren't just a mere stain on a surface that can be washed away so easily. the pain of everyone whose vision was taken away is real, the cries of those lost their ambitions are real, those things are real.

it leaves a mark, it takes time — ayato knows this well, which is why his heart shrinks by a tad when he finds you at a certain part of the kamisato estate that offers a generous view of the inazuma city.

that distant look in your eyes, gazing with such inexplicable emotions in them at the marvelous tenshukaku, where the god of the nation beneath your feet resides.

your vision — a precious item once taken away, now returned to you — hangs by your waist, although oh-so loosely as if you have given the least bit of care into properly putting it into place. for one moment, he notes how your vision flickers so dimly and lifelessly compared to his own.

a few footsteps behind you, ayato breaks the silence with a hum, "so, this is where you've been." but you don't seem shocked. instead, you turn your head to give him a smile; a weak one that you can barely manage to muster, "ayato, good morning."

"yes, good morning, love," he joins you with a nod, resting his arms beside yours on the wooden railing. you don't miss that hint of concern in his glance as he peers into your eyes, "...although that greeting might be out of place, considering that look on your face?"

you recognize that tone of his all too well. it's an invitation to speak your mind and you want to, almost.

there have been many matters that plague your mind ever since you bade goodbye to those times of being completely confined to your bed, unable to lift a limb or even talk properly for an extended period of time.

your head has cleared since then, but your heart still finds itself hung up on the past.

to think your vision, something that is rightfully yours, was ripped away against your will. to think you were rendered to such a feeble condition all because... of that ridiculous and inhumane decree.

your fists clench just at the sheer thought of it. but such a meaningless train of thought shouldn't be an excuse for you to burden someone else with it, especially not your lover who already has many workloads waiting for him.

and so, you shake your head.

"i'm alright, you should go to work. i'd hate to keep you away from your duties," you try to put on the most convincing of tones, but who are you trying to kid? he can easily see right through you.

"oh, love, i think you forget," ayato chuckles lightly, raising his gloved hand to cradle your face. but the glove is only a thin material, it does absolutely nothing to stop his warmth from catching you by surprise. and the way he rubs his thumb on your cheek is gentle, so gentle that the desire to lean into his touch forever begins to slowly nag at the back of your mind.

you look up into ayato's ocean eyes, but he is already staring at you with a gaze as soft as his touch. then, he smiles, "looking after you is also one of my duties, is it not? i recall telling you multiple times before that it's my favorite, actually."

that smile of his is contagious, as much as you want to sigh at his sappy words, you relent into that contagiousness. but this time, your smile is slightly brighter than your previous one as you admit, "...i know."

"ah, there's the smile i love," his eyes turn into crescents with such glee that makes you feel almost bashful. yet, his tone turns serious the next second as he says, "you know you can confide in me about anything, love."

"i know, but i just feel... conflicted about her excellency after all that happened," you avert your gaze to the ground, ashamed of these thoughts about the very same god your nation worshipped.

"i know that the past is the past and all has returned to normal, but i can't pretend like everything's fine. maybe, i'm the only one taking too much time to understand." the more you speak, the more you shy away from your lover's eyes. after all, he is the head of the kamisato clan, an important part of the tri-commissions who serve the shogun herself.

and yet, the look on ayato's face is nothing more than understanding.

"it's alright to feel that way, love. wounds heal at their own pace, slowly but surely. you don't have to act like it didn't happen or you've healed from it already." the hand that holds your cheek travels down to your chin, gently tilting your face up to his level.

"take your time. be as selfish as you want, take as much time as you wish. i shall be here with you every step of the way, i promise."

he can see the hesitance swirling in your irises so clearly... oh, how ayato wishes he can just chase it all away.

with a thoughtful hum, he rests his forehead against yours. it's a proximity that comforts him, knowing that everything else in the world fades away and you are the only thing he is focused on. and judging by the way your body seems to melt into him, it's also something that greatly flusters you, he can tell.

well, at least, that fluttery feeling can replace those thoughts on your mind, even just for a moment.

the smile on his face is full of encouragement as he whispers, "i believe in you, love." his voice and his warmth all feel like a warm blanket draped around your shoulders and you can't help but nod shyly, "i'll try."

"wonderful," ayato presses a quick kiss to your lips, another form of support he wishes to shower you in. he adds, "as expected of my lover, of course."

this time, he shall be your strength, just like how you have always been his.

#oh to be in the noble yashiro commissioner's presence <3 (sobs)#genshin x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #visitor: dearest brainrot anon! 💭#ily brainrot anon <3 #seelestial.inks #jumbled rambles! 🪶

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daimyosprincess · 9 months

Note

Hoi I love your works and stories. I would love to write boba fett but have no idea how. Any tips for first time boba fett writers ?

ksjflfjfdksujslfj anon thank you so much 💖🥹😭

I am but an untrained, babey writer myself but I can tell you how I crafted my approach to writing Boba!

Step 1, be obsessed with Boba Fett since childhood, grow up, rediscover your love for him and Temuera Morrison as a slightly unhinged adult.

What hopefully is not just pure rambling below the cut

I watched The Mandalorian (specifically Boba's episodes in season 2) and TBOBF a concerning amount of times, and scoured Tumblr/AO3 for fics of our fav green tin can man. Got comfy with the character, figured out what drives him, what his motivations are, what his worldview and outlook are like. Essentially, my process boiled down to the following:

Immerse myself in the source content

Read, read, read & comment, comment, comment

Talking to the authors who inspired me (like you're doing now!)

Just started writing any and everything that came to me

Read some more, commented some more

Kept writing, saved everything

Got feedback

Now obviously everyone will have their own interpretations of a character, but to me, much of Boba's outlook and personality are defined by the death of his father. He is an intelligent boy raised with love by one of the galaxy's best bounty hunters, who teaches him not only about survival but also honor, respect, and personal responsibility. Jango was far from perfect (as we all are) but he did genuinely love his son and didn't hide that from Boba.

Besides the obvious trauma of seeing his father beheaded in front of him, Boba experienced a lifetime of further trauma that would have easily made him go back on what his father instilled in him. He was angry and he was alone during this time, his motivations being centered in anger and inexorable control (as seen in his drive to keep his reputation as a hunter stellar). To him, others were a liability, caring about anyone would only lead to pain. Boba burned bright and hot, but ultimately this path was not sustainable.

After the sarlacc and his time with the Tuskens, Boba was able to grow past the shadow of his father's death--there were different ways to honor his father than just being the best. He could heal himself, lead with respect and principles that harken back to his grandfather's code (whether he knows that or not), live a life that didn't have to end on some pointless job for the galaxy's scum. Boba relearned the importance of clan, that one cannot face this existence alone. Daimyo Boba now burns strong and even, fed by hearty logs rather than dry kindling.

Some posts I found helpful in characterizing Boba:

Boba's love language is acts of service by @thefact0rygirl

The spectrum of dom/general sexual behavior in Star Wars men by @rexxdjarin

Me and @rexxdjarin's comments on her Afflictions fic

Post

Boba is funny send tweet

Boba's got a way with (written) words

Boba and words 2

Post

Boba is the sun

Post

Boba's relationship with being Mandalorian by @deewithani

There's obvs many more but these are the ones I could find again

I hope this was what you were looking for (and coherent lmao) and best of luck with your writing! We all can't wait to see what you come up with for our beloved Boba 💚

No pressure tags if some of these other Boba writers (and anyone else!) want to add anything to this: @rexxdjarin @thefact0rygirl @saradika @acatalystrising @thirsty-boba-fett-posts @bobathirstaccount @deewithani @writingwintermoon

#i just love boba fett so much 🥹#writing #boba fett #ask

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annislittleshopofhorrors · 1 year

Note

We all see that she even tries to leave behind and ignore the films that may not do well. Maybe she has changed and improved. She is in a relationship with a man who is more experienced. Both in life and at work. She may have learned a lot from Chris. And she is trying to get better...//

Margs here, late night rant. (Post at your own discretion, friend). Uhhhhh. What is this? Are you forgetting MHGTP and her peak show WN? MH did well in getting attention for fashion/costuming. WN she was the lead character who was supposed to be a bad ass. While they might not have been critical successes, she failed to truly invest in the projects as far as overall promotion. Sure there are interviews, one premiere- but she dropped these projects like a bad habit …and the fact…the glaring fact that her coworkers were happy to put the time into it made a big difference. It comes off as selfish and entitled from her side. Idk if the goal is to just…stop acting…..but if it’s to learn from Chris, I’ve got some bad news. He didn’t want to do cap. He doesn’t want to direct anymore. (We think). He doesn’t want to produce. He turned down really good roles in favor of mediocre ones…and for the money. If it’s to stop acting…well that’s funny too, bc remember when Chris was like “wah wah if I didn’t act, idk WHAT I would do” 😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️sounds like he true love has helped him really explore his potential.

I really fail to see where she’s getting better. She doesn’t invest in the people that invest in her (and I mean from a public front. Which just seems odd). Why even have a dumb Instagram if all you’re going to do is delete negative comments about yourself and let your bf do all the heavy lifting….so you can benefit by looking good? What did she learn? Not to contribute bc she’s garbage? You notice she’s v concerned with how things look. I won’t shame a photoshopped waist. Who GAF. but defending her moms age (when no one asked her to), doubling down re: yoga certificate (when no one asked her to), attempting to post her noods then getting an article about it (that no one saw), asking her FANS. HER. FANS to take down pics she’s not happy with, having her own mother claiming her shutting down IG was to improve things (and it’s not true) like…for someone who is learning….she’s awful concerned with how she’s perceived, but to like an odd level in my opinion. Trust me when she grows up and her balls drop, she won’t GAF. But to say she’s learning and growing i just 😂 did alba just write her own GD ask so we can take her seriously?

**I realize me writing this dissertation means I’m paying attention in any case. But don’t get it twisted. I am a disgusted fan, who is scooting out the door So 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I really love your late night rant (when I'm having lunch 😅). What really gets me is how she treated her fans. Her fans spent money on her and the only thing she could do was posting a tweet. And this this was not long time ago - "trying to get better" my ass 🙄

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bigjimbopickens · 1 year

Text

About What Happened From Feb 7-9th

Hey everyone, I’m making another post and I promise it will be the last time I talk about this here, unless there’s a huge update. Since last time it was emotionally driven and I wasn’t in a good headspace I thought I would make another now that I’m in a better mental state and can think more clearly.

For those who don’t want to read this insanely long post, here is a summarized version: February 7th Kevin uploads a sponsored video on Hogwarts Legacy. It brought a lot of transphobia into the community and it turned on each other. On February 9th Kevin wrote an apology on his subreddit and it has a mixed reception.

With that out of the way I would encourage you to read the full post as I go into more detail, analyze Kevin’s post and also touch on the video itself since I did watch it when it was uploaded.

Some trigger warnings will be needed for this.

TW // transphobia and antisemitism mentions, topics on or related to suicide.

Should also mention that I am only trans, not Jewish, so I cannot speak on their behalf. But since HL has heavy antisemitic themes it would be unfair to leave them out of the conversation.

I am documenting this so it is not forgotten and we can learn from it. There may be things I missed and can add if I am informed. This is also all mostly from my perspective as a trans guy who was very active in all sides of the community during this, not just the subreddit or YouTube comments.

A recap of the situation:

- February 7th at 12pm Pacific Standard Time, the video “Being a bad wizard in Hogwarts Legacy” by Call Me Kevin is uploaded. It is a sponsored video.

- Within minutes of the video being posted, the comments become very toxic. People express their concern and/or disappointment that Kevin would promote that game to his audience. People in the replies tell them to off themselves or call them 41%ers, referring to the suicide rate of trans people.

- r/CallMeKevin discusses it in the comments of the bot post and the discussion is mostly respectful.

- The hate then spreads far into the community starting with the subreddit.

- A user wrote an open letter to Kevin about all of this and the comments were horribly transphobic with several upvotes and the thread gets locked.

- People take to twitter to discuss it and fights break out there as well. The amount of tweets covering it makes the situation spread far outside of the community as outsiders also share their thoughts.

- Other subreddits, specifically trans ones, also cover what happened to what was once a safe space for trans people.

- February 8th, 12 hours after the situation begins, Instagram account cmk_things, which is run by three trans admins, makes a statement. The comments on that post also become horribly transphobic, thus spurring on the hate to the CMK Instagram community.

- Allegedly, Anna_Chess is also harassed about this.

- February 9th at 5am PST Kevin makes the subreddit post titled “A letter to the CMK community”. It has a mixed reception with some forgiving him and others not.

- A much smaller scale fight breaks out between the people most affected by this and people calling them soft for not wanting to immediately accept Kevin’s apology.

- By the end of the day things begin to finally calm down. The worst of it has ended.

End of timeline, for now (but I hope it doesn’t continue unless it’s positive).

Needless to say, this entire situation was horrible for everyone involved. I truly don’t want it to happen again and we can all learn something from this, which is why I have documented it. Next I wanted to analyze the post Kevin made to the subreddit.

Kevin’s Apology Post Link to the post if you haven’t seen it: https://www.reddit.com/r/CallMeKevin/comments/10xu9ot/a_letter_to_the_cmk_community/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf In this section I wanted to touch upon this more since the wording of it confused me at first, but now that I am feeling better mentally I can properly comprehend it. This is all coming from the perspective of a trans man who’s been a very active community member for 3 years and an active viewer for 5 (and also was an A+ English student who did these a lot). I am not meaning to defend him or anything, rather just explaining it from how I see it. It starts off with him saying he is sorry and that he wanted to explain it from his side. In the next one he wrote “I'm not sure how this whole thing was covered in other countries but as someone who does not use social media this boycott was pretty much invisible.” I am from Canada and this pretty much wasn’t covered at all except online in places you’d only see it if you were from a minority the game impacts, so I will give him that. However, you’d think a gaming YouTuber would at least try to keep up with what’s going on in the gaming world. Kevin also wrote “I'm surprised that I've not heard any discussion within my recent streams or on my comment section given the scale of it.” There was discussion of it, though it was usually just one or two comments or were in places Kevin wouldn’t have seen it. During the stream on February 5th there was a conversation in the chat about it that did get missed where someone asked if he was going to play it and people started saying that they hope he doesn’t for obvious reasons. Though I understand why it was likely missed, Kevin wasn’t reading the chat much as he was playing with other people when it happened. In the next paragraph Kevin wrote “I had also heard of there being a boycott of some kind on the game but honestly assumed this was not a big thing, every other day I hear of someone/something being a problem and I just don't engage with that news.” So he admits to hearing about the boycott after saying it was invisible to him? Strange. Sometimes these things aren’t huge issues as the internet does like to blow things out of proportion (I mean, just look at this situation haha) but oftentimes it is serious and should be treated as such. I wouldn’t be surprised if he heard about it early on before the weeks leading up to the launch and made an assessment based off of that, but on the other hand, I still find it really strange how he didn’t know about how serious this was. Again, you’d think a gaming YouTuber would keep up with these things. Other ones I watch do, like RTGame and Kwite/Kwote. “When it comes to boycotts in a general sense I would disagree that buying something is endorsing the view of everyone involved.” Is the first line of the next section. To an extent he is right, not the devs’ fault that Rowling is a shitty person. Though giving your support to things like this gives the companies involved more incentive to continue, which is one of the reasons why the boycott happened. The problem also wasn’t entirely the fact he played it, rather it was the fact he was paid to promote it to his audience of viewers who were impacted by the game and how his community turned on itself. There is another line in this part that I pretty much have the same thing to say about so I won’t repeat myself, but it’s along the lines of “but JK Rowling wasn’t involved.” Kevin then addresses the comments. The first two statements have no issues, he is correct. Not everyone is as informed as others are. In the third one he explains that usually when his videos are promoted to an outside audience it does get more hate than usual. That is pretty standard for YouTube. He then explains that this time the hate was amplified by the situation and he disabled the comments on the video, which is good on him. Kevin ends this section essentially saying he doesn’t support people attacking others for who they are along with his community because “from my experience [the community] have been the most kind and supportive group of people.” I do a little gatekeeping here, I always have. I believe that genuine fans of CMK wouldn’t be transphobic or antisemitic. Though a lot of the bigotry came from inside the community with users who were either active subreddit users, had CMK related usernames and/or pfps or were usernames I recognized from previous kind comments I got on my artwork. I guess it was the 1% Kevin left out when he said 99%. Kevin then explains how he can see why someone would be on either side of this situation, which is probably not the best thing to put in an apology letter to your community after alienating them and, albeit unintentionally, enabling transphobia and antisemitism to go on. It’s not really a good idea to be neutral on things like this as one side will assume you’ve taken the other’s side and vice versa. It’s like he doesn’t want to make a definitive statement. I know he probably didn’t mean it like that but the way he worded it makes it sound like such. The final part is about how he doesn’t want to put out any more hate and apologizes about everything. When I first read it I actually started crying about the last line, probably because I was at my lowest during the situation and it was 5am. I didn’t sleep at all during those two days. The last line was “I'm sorry for any hurt I've caused you, I have felt terrible knowing I've hurt a group that have been nothing but nice to me.” I am glad he said something as I was very worried he was just going to remain silent or only apologize in a reply thread on Twitter where only a few would see it (like last time). Part of me wishes he did a bit more but I’m satisfied with this. I never once believed he would endorse this behaviour nor did I think he was transphobic. He made a huge mistake that has ruined his reputation and the trust his community had, he’s going to have to work hard to rebuild that. I’m a huge believer in that you can accept an apology but not forgive anyone for anything they may have done. I personally did accept the apology but haven’t forgiven him yet. He shouldn’t have done this in the first place and this situation could’ve been avoided. Though once more time passes and things calm down more I imagine I will. I am in a position to make that call, I am a transgender man who was targeted during this situation as I was very vocal about it. Though I’ll return to the community soon, I have projects that I started before the situation that I don’t want to scrap. I’m just glad that the worst of it is over, we can only improve from here. If Kevin is somehow reading this then I have this to say to you: I know I seem harsh but I don’t mean to be, though sometimes the truth hurts. I genuinely hope you learn from this and I know you never meant for this to happen in the first place. You’ve never come across as that type of person to me. For a while I’ve relied on your content and community as an escape from the real world that was nothing but harsh to me because I’m not the perfect cishet neurotypical catholic woman my family wanted. I would’ve hated for it to all end over something like this. Please, don’t let it happen again. I don’t want to see you become known as a YouTuber who prioritized money over real human lives instead of fictional. And also, skill issue tbh.

Not sure what else I expected from my favourite clueless cishet. It’s sad how he is the only YouTuber I watch who did apologize for this. All the others doubled down and I had to unsubscribe. Grateful Kevin didn’t go down that path.

My own apology: Now I want to take some time to apologize for the confusion that I have caused. I will admit I was not okay mentally when I wrote all those things and I said things I didn’t mean. I also understand that my words could’ve been easily misinterpreted, which did happen. I reek of undiagnosed bipolar disorder and I also have autism. I usually try to not let that fuel anything I talk about online but sometimes it gets the best of me. I’m not trying to use that as an excuse, rather it’s an explanation to why it happened. I will do my best to not let it happen again. I’m sorry. The video itself: I did actually watch the video. I wanted to so I could see if there was any mention of the controversy and so I wouldn’t make assumptions. I watched it while in a call on a Discord server I’m in. We all shouted “KEVIN NO” when we got the notification and continued to shout that once I said it was sponsored. The video itself doesn’t have many issues, aside from the obvious. It was an unbiased look at the game and didn’t feel any different from other CMK videos. If I am going to be honest, I would rather have Kevin do a video on it than someone who’s very clearly biased and the “I bought this game to own the libs” type. Though I still preferred there to be no video at all. He’s also not the only Irish Lad to do a video, Terroriser and Nogla also have and I’m not surprised. Its a video I won’t ever be watching again though. The first CMK video I actually hated watching.

Addressing comments: During this I have gotten many comments and messages as I was very vocal during this and I’m also a fairly well known user. Even if you’ve never heard of me you’ve likely seen the things I’ve done. I wanted to publicly address them as it offers more insight to the situation. The most common one I’ve gotten were things along the lines of “You should’ve seen this coming” because he’s played the other Harry Potter games. Yes, I did see this coming. I knew he was going to play Hogwarts Legacy and I warned people that it would likely cause a divide. I never thought it would be this bad, I thought it would just be an argument on the subreddit again or something. If it was just a regular video that didn’t cause this mess I probably wouldn’t have cared as much. Another was “but Kevin played the other ones, does that mean those are bad too?” No, in fact I used to recommend Kevin’s videos to people who still wanted to consume Harry Potter content without supporting a TERF. I was never into HP growing up but I still loved his videos on it. Those games are old and you can’t buy them new anymore, so him buying them isn’t supporting J.K Rowling. It also wasn’t entirely about the fact he played the game, it’s the fact he was paid to promote it to a community that is harmed by Rowling’s actions and it turned his once kind community horribly transphobic and antisemitic. That was the issue. “But don’t you have more important issues to focus on?” I see where you’re coming from with this but do you think we have that kind of power? Also, what group of people are making these anti-trans laws? Definitely not trans people. We are doing what we can to tackle those issues too, trust me. There’s only so much we can do. I guess it only becomes an issue when it slightly inconveniences you. “Why are you so soft?” “You can’t hold onto this forever.” “He apologized so get over it.” If you’re not trans and/or Jewish you don’t get to make those calls. When I say “trans” I am using it as an umbrella term, it affected every non-cis person in the cult too. What happened was absolutely fucking horrible and it’s understandable to why we aren’t quick to forgive Kevin and the community. We had our trust completely broken and it takes a while to heal from that. You wouldn’t be quick to forgive someone either if this happened to you. What someone does is not up to you to decide, if some choose to never forgive him then that’s their choice and we have to respect it. “I wish he would take down the video though.” I do too, but since it’s a sponsored video he likely can’t as he’s bound by a contract. If he breaches the contract he can be sued and he’s not winning that lawsuit from Warner Brothers. A situation like this has happened before where he took a sponsor from Activision/Blizzard while they were being sued for allowing sexual harassment to go on, so I hope this doesn’t become a continuous pattern. Hopefully he learns his lesson this time. “But people were harassing him!” Where? Fucking where? I mean sure there may have been a few extreme people but all I saw were people expressing their disappointment and getting called slurs for it. The only people being harassed in this were the people who spoke out. I’ve been sent death threats, told to “join the 41%” and purposely misgendered because people thought I was attacking Kevin. Trans rights, until it means your favourite YouTuber gets criticized for enabling transphobia. “It’s not that big of a deal.” How fucking privileged and/or oblivious are you to see all this happen and go “eh, not a big deal”. As ridiculous as this all was, it was a huge deal. Huge enough to damage Kevin’s reputation online and, well, you know the rest. And these comments weren’t addressed to me but I thought they were funny. Basically people congratulating Kevin for “not going woke”. Like, the existence of his sims and GTA RP series invalidates your entire sentence. You gotta be new to the channel or something or you think Grognak the Destroyer is cis or Jim Pickens is cishet. I also just hate that phrase, woke.

As we reach the end of this really long thing I originally typed up at 8pm on a Friday night on a Google doc, I wanted to take a moment to thank a few people. It was a horrible situation for everyone and it reminded me that the genuine fans were still out there. Thank you to my friends and partners who supported me and came to fight for me. Thank you to everyone who sent me kind messages and/or left nice comments on my posts and art. It gave me the hope I needed. I hope someday we can restore the cult to what it once was, but it won’t be an overnight process nor will it be the same again. Despite everything, I stayed behind and watched everything happen so I could document it. If the cult was coming to an end I wanted to be there for it. I’m glad it didn’t. If you don’t want to come back then that’s completely understandable. I think we need to follow Jim’s rules more with the first one being “Be kind to everyone.” The cult was the only safe space I had for the longest time as I grew up in an extremely conservative area with an unaccepting family. I also sorta grew up watching CMK as well, I discovered him when I was 14 and I turn 20 later this year. His sims series was my first exposure to queer content and it made me feel so validated because I thought I was the only one who thought it was weird that guys can only like girls and vice versa. I would roleplay as Jim once with other members of the community and realize that being referred to as a man felt right. The community would pay to draw the characters in maid outfits and fund part of my legal transition. They would always come to defend me whenever bullshit happened because a few users got offended by a pride flag or a fursuit. CMK is a pretty big part of my life and I was very heartbroken when all this happened. Still am. I cried so hard I pulled a muscle somehow, that was neat. It’s poetic in a way that I made the last post on the subreddit before this shitshow happened. What happens before a storm? A warning, usually. I was the warning for the upcoming storm. My arrival in the cult was a prophecy. That or it was just a massive coincidence, that is more likely. - SnowfallWarning/Big Jimbo Pickens

#call me kevin #callmekevin #cmk

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