#this is probably the longest fic rec i've done

[swga-ficrecs]

long fic recs

this is a list of fics that are, well, long regardless of the trope and plot. for voracious readers who aren't satisfied with short-length writing. all these fics are considered holy grails because i don't read long fics if they aren't well-written. all fics are finished unless noted otherwise.

✒️ unfinished

yoongi

third wheeling by @untaemedqueen  i absolutely love everything about this. it's a lot of my favorite tropes in one giant fic. the characters are complex and fleshed out, the pacing is good, and i love the writing style. the smut is well-written and, though the catalyst for the plot, well-paced that it doesn't feel like a smut-centric fic.

suit & tie + drabbles by @jungshookz this is is a long fic but in bullet points, so i can only imagine how long this could've been if it was written in full sentences. another fic where yoongi does a 180°, but their dynamic is adorable from the beginning. not a lot of drama, a good fic to go back to if you want something lighthearted. you can probably tell by now that i love ceo fics.

desolate by @angelicyoongie this fic is long but has a very straightforward style of writing that's easy to follow and understand. it's one of the few hybrid fics i've read where they fight for a hybrid's right to freedom. i love how much yoongi opened up and changed throughout the fic. it's one of those fics where the idea of a hybrid isn't romanticized.

the deal by @untaemedqueen a great introduction to syndicate fics if you're looking for one. this is a chaptered fic that isn't too long and is easily digestible. it doesn't touch on mafia-esque activities so much. i have a thing for romance fics where the stone cold character evolves into a romantic, and this tickles that itch.

jimin

balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!reader by @jungshookz ✒️ this bullet point mini-series should be considered a full series already, considering the length of each drabble and how many of them exist. this is a forbidden romance between a teacher and a student with different personalities, so it's interesting and endearing how they developed their feelings over time.

i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts

a lengthy oneshot of strangers-turned-lovers and how love grows slowly between two people who are worlds apart. very well-written, i dreaded how quickly i finished reading it. i love how human jimin is in this fic. the oc is very relatable as well—very realistic and not overtly romanticized. i can easily identify myself in her if i were in her shoes.

taehyung

maybe i do by @chateautae another fic that is a mix of my favorite tropes. this fic has fewer but longer chapters. another smut-filled fic that doesn't feel overworked and serves as a good break between dramatic scenes. i love how both characters developed throughout the story.

jungkook

please love me by @ahundredtimesover i loved the complexity of the characters and how they navigated through their situation. they both had to do a lot of growing up in this fic, and it was done in a well-paced manner. the drabbles also give a lot of insight to this universe. i go back and read the drabbles a lot.

evolution of a lover's heart by @jeonstudios

a heartwrenching masterpiece. i waited a long time for this to be finished, and it did not disappoint at all. one of the most emotional and resonating fics i've read so far. my heart feels for both of them so much. the kind of love that people wish they would have.

the boy with galaxies in his eyes by @oddinary4bts

an emotionally captivating and heartwrenching oneshot that i never expected to read. both characters were well-written and well-fleshed out, it was easy to fall in love with them and understand their actions. the writing itself was really magical too—flowed so smoothly, it didn't feel as long as it actually was. an absolute hidden gem that everyone should read!

4-7-8 by @jiminrings

not the longest of fics, but a great read nonetheless. i read this a while back, and it was only after i reread it that i was able to truly appreciate the characters and their development. it has a very realistic plot that tugs at my heartstrings. everyone deserves this kind of partner and love.

our first and last by @thedefinitionofbts ✨️

if you love the concept of alternate universes and soulmates, this is a must read. the author utilized scientific concepts that i had a hard time grasping and, at the same time, supported the plot really well. i'm so glad i came across this fic.

multi-member

sanguis duology + (ongoing) oneshots by @borathae absolute monster of a fic, probably one of the longest ones i've read. even though i was annoyed at mc's stubborness, i think it was a driving force throughout the fic. i also never imagined the pairings in this, but i enjoyed the ride. there were some parts where i felt the author could've woven details better to make the story smoother, but it's charming in the sense that i need to think and connect the dots from previous chapters.

a place called home by @agustdakasuga i keep re-reading this fic every few years. i loved how each hybrid came into her life and how they eventually stayed. i also appreciate how each hybrid's personality isn't necessarily stereotypical. great pacing in each chapter, good to read if you like chaptered fics that aren't very long.

the road to you by @bonvoyagenoona

a slow burn masterpiece. this fic is a rollercoaster of experiences that is complemented by terrific writing and pacing. it's very instrospective, which is something i personally like. it has a little bit of everything and a good amount of smut, but it all works wonderfully together, the words flew by quickly.

[lululawrence]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

HIIIII omg I love whoever started this going around so much and THANK YOU for sending this to me!!! I also got this from @haztobegood and @allwaswell16 so thank you to ALL OF YOU really! I love love love this kinda thing and hope I haven't missed all of your lists... i'll have to be sure to look for those here soon hehe

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my fav fics I've written... (I think... lol favorites are HARD):

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) - This was my big bang for this year and man it was a JOURNEY to write. I first came up with the idea as almost a crack fic idea back when I first was listening to Satellite... you know... when it was first released. lol I just didn't have the time or energy or anything to write it but I held onto the idea for ages and had it mostly brainstormed and everything! And then the time came to write it and... I couldn't find my notes. Anywhere. No idea what happened to the fic idea or my ramblings about it so I just did what I could with recreating it from memory and I still didn't know where or how or when it would end exactly, I just knew their journey would be over when it was over, and they spoke to me. When their story was done, I knew. And I am still so fucking proud of how it turned out and @moon-sun-thyme made the most incredible and gorgeous art for it, truly. Just. Probably gonna forever be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else) - ohhhhhhh THIS FIC OKAY. It's my aspec alpha babies fic. I wrote it as a collaboration with @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for @1dreversebang a few years ago now and it is still so special to me. I got to really delve into the aspec identities by embodying both Louis and Harry with one of those identities (aro Harry, ace Louis) and then added some non-traditional omegaverse dynamics (alpha/alpha) AND one of my all time favorite tropes, FAKE DATING! It was also a journey to write this fic and I worked so hard to make sure I really felt like I was doing justice to our identities and trying to give good and valid and understandable representation to them, and I really think I was able to achieve that. Some of the comments have been the most thoughtful and humbling and just beautiful I've ever gotten as well, which is just the cherry on top, right? So yeah, this baby defo gets to be on this list for sure hehe

You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) - This fic is one of those instances where you write what you want to read, you know what I mean? I had been craving a fic like this one, and I'd read some similar ones but I wanted MORE. The more I thought about it, the more the idea shaped up, and before I knew it I had (I wish I was joking) something like SIX PAGES of brainstorming with the timing laid out and what would happen when to make sure it was slow burn enough but also character development at the right pace and also just... everything I wanted, you know? I've never outlined a fic to that level before and I probably never will again, but after outlining it like that, I then went and wrote this fic, which was the longest fic I'd ever written to that point, in less than a month. It just flowed from me every time I sat down at my computer. It turned out exactly as I had hoped, and it is one of the few fics of mine that I have gone back to read repeatedly. I've not actually read it all the way through repeatedly, there's usually just bits and pieces I'm craving at the moment, but that's still far more than I generally do with my own fics. So I'll take it hehe

a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation - Okay okay okay, there's a lot about this one that makes this one something I'm super proud of, even though it feels ridiculous because it was a fic I wrote for this year's @wordplayfics, but there's a lot of reasons why I really am proud of it lol For one, I'm still new to writing Oscar and Pedro, and I love them SO much but I've only written them in one fic previously (and it isn't even out yet lololol) but!!! Its only the second fic I've ever written with a decent amount of Spanish in it. The lovely @nouies has been so kind as to cheerlead me about the pairings as well as help me with the Spanish, and we have had SO much fun omg. She helped me SO MUCH with this fic, and I so appreciate it and am so happy with how it was able to turn out because of her help! I also tried a new footnotes thing with the translations that turned out to work even better than I anticipated, and that just makes it even better, right? So yeah. I'm proud of it because I did all of that AND ALL WITHIN A WEEK. YASSSS

'Cause What I Want Came True - Okay so once again this one is one that Lou indulged me on because who doesn't love Diego Luna, hmm? lol but I was struggling with Wordplay again and suddenly I came upon a few quotes and an entire soft and hazy idea presented itself that I just HAD to write. It is almost semi-stream of consciousness while also not being quite that way, and I just really REALLY love how it turned out. I've actually already gone back and reread this one and the previous one on this list since publishing, and they've only been out for a week or two at this point. That's impressive and very rare for me. So yeah, quite proud.

I am missing some others that I would probably say are favorites, but you did limit me to five. lololol and These were the five I thought of off the top of my head haha so they will do for now hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH for asking and letting me ramble about my fics for a little bit!! sorry this got so looooong....

[fellow-travelers-fic-recs]

Fellow Travelers Fic Recs | Author of the Month: July

captainquint | @jesterlesbian

Works in FT Fandom: 8

Most Recent:  I Wanna Be a Cowboy's Sweetheart [E, 3K] Hawk tipped his hat politely towards Tim, the way he always did when he rode back into town and stabled his horse at the Liberty Bell, where Tim worked as a stable hand. The pay wasn’t much, but it was steady work, and the off-chance of spotting Hawkins Fuller in leather chaps astride a horse sweetened the pot considerably.

Hawk flashed Tim the look that he understood meant “Meet me around the back,” so Tim dawdled for a few moments more, trying in vain to wipe off as much dirt and muck as he could from his shirt before oh-so-casually strolling to behind the stables, where it met the treeline and provided just the right amount of cover.

Longest Fic:  I Guess I've Got The Christmas Blues [E, 5K] Tim Laughlin stood in front of Hawk, one hand still raised as if to continue banging on the door, his tweed jacked dotted with snowflakes. Water droplets were trapped on his glasses, maybe from melted snow. But with how red-rimmed his eyes were, there might have been teardrops on his glasses as well.

Hawk’s slightly intoxicated reflexes took a moment to spring into action upon seeing Tim. “Skippy,” he grinned, "what, did you miss me that much? I’ll still be here after New Year’s."

Tim’s face screwed up in a look of righteous fury that Hawk knew meant an argument was coming. And before he could react, Tim was shoving Hawk backwards and into the apartment, slamming the door behind them.

“You absolute ass!”

Or, Tim confronts Hawk about his being investigated by the M Unit.

Top 3 Highest Rated Fics:  I Guess I've Got The Christmas Blues

Picturing You Kneeling In Prayer [M, 2K] It's the beginning of Lent in 1953.

“During Lent, we’re supposed to give up earthly pleasures so as to better reflect on Christ in the desert, and his overcoming Satan’s temptations. Speaking of which, you should probably be going.”

Tim slid away from Hawk’s grasp and moved to gather his hat and coat for him. He turned to find Hawk still seated on the bed, staring back at him with a slightly confused look on his face.

“People give up lots of things for Lent, things they consider indulgent or pleasurable. Booze, cigarettes, chocolate. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I gave up… you.”

we'll be on the road like Jack Kerouac [M, 4K] He tried to think of what Tim would do or say. The man who had only spoken to his son a handful of times over one weekend in 1968, but had seemed to understand him far better than Hawk ever had.

The business card felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket.

An idea burst to life in Hawk’s mind. This was an emergency if he’d ever seen one.

“What would you say to coming with me to San Francisco?”

Or, Hawk and Jackson go on a cross-country road trip to San Francisco.

Hidden Gem:  Only The Lucky Ones Come Home [M, 1K] It didn’t make sense. Kenny wasn’t in Italy, he wasn’t in Europe. He was sent somewhere in the Pacific, Hawk wasn’t quite sure. That was the last he had heard. So how could Kenneth Willard be bleeding out at his feet in Velletri?

“You did this.”

The blood in Hawk’s veins turned to ice at Kenny’s words.

Or, Hawk has a nightmare about his time in the war.

FTFR Fave:  All Tied Up With Nowhere To Go [E, 2K] “Are they too tight?” Hawk asked, tugging on Tim’s wrists.

Tim’s wrists were, at that moment, bound to the headboard of Hawkins Fuller’s bed by some carefully knotted neckties. Tim was struck by the thought of Hawk wearing one of these ties to work on a later day, becoming distracted in his office thinking of what they had done with them on this night. His mouth twitched up at the corner. “Hey, are you listening to me?” Hawk placed a hand under his chin and tilted Tim’s face towards Hawk’s own. “This is important. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Tim rolled his wrists and wiggled his fingers to show they were fine. “I’m not made of glass, Hawk, you don’t have to treat me like I’ll break.”

Or, Hawk teases a tied-up Tim

Part 2 of FT Valentine's Day 2024 

Upcoming Work I’m Excited About: Tim in Lingerie Fic Snippet (Tim in Lingerie Fic):  He was pulled from his thoughts by the feeling of Hawk slowly removing his sheer stockings, caressing his calf and ankle on the way down. Hawk took one bare foot in his hand and smirked up at Tim with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, “Remember this?” before sucking a toe into his mouth. The wet heat hit him immediately, and Tim whined high in the back of his throat.

“Hawk, get back up here, I need you,” Tim groaned, already creeping toward overstimulation at the dual sensations of Hawk’s tongue along his foot and the slide of the lace against his skin. He had always been… excitable, and the last thing he wanted to do was spill too soon.

Hawk pulled off his toes with an obscene pop! and rose again before him, bringing a hand to the hard planes of Tim’s abdomen and scratching lightly, teasing.

“You’re always in such a rush, Skippy. It’s not your fault, you’re still young,” he chuckled, “but I think I’m going to take my time with you tonight.”

Thanks for reading!

✨ Please show the author lots of love with your kudos, comments and reblogs of this post!

[philaet0s]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written then pass it on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self love ❤

Ehe thanks for that! I wouldn't know who to send it to and I get embarrased about asks so let's say I'm sending it to anyone who wants to do it lol

Now my 5 fav fics I've written...

The first one is, UNDOUBTEDLY,

1. Live and Die For Moments That We Stole 

My baby (literally, it took me 9 months to write it), my masterpiece. I love what I've done with this fic, I love the characters and the trajectories their lives take, I'm really, truly satisfied with this fic. Which is rare. Obviously if I rewrote it now I might change a few scenes, but as a whole, I love the fic and I'm very proud of it. It was a huge challenge because of the time period I set it in and because of the sheer lenght of that fic, but I did, I wrote it :)

2. Second Chance

I have a weird emotional attachement to this fic, I couldn't explain why but I reread it so often (because yes, I reread my own stuff, what's the point of writing stories I want to read if I don't read them?), and it always puts me in a good mood. I love the idea of a second chance, and of characters GROWING as people before they get that second chance

3. Woundrous and Mystical

I have to put it in the top three. Before I wrote Live and Die it was my favourite fic of mine, I'm just so proud of that story. Baz is my favourite character in this universe and the way that his trauma -psychological and physical- from the coffin is dealt with in canon is something that genuinely upsets me so for the longest time I wanted to write my own version of that, a version of the story where Baz gets to be affected by the fact that he was, you know, locked in a dark box for weeks without food. That story is very dear to me because of that, because it's centered around Baz and his trauma, but also because when I look at my fics as a whole, it's really with this one that I started to get a sense of how I wanted to write the characters and their relationships. The most striking example of that is Niall, the way I wrote Niall in Wondrous and Mystical is the way I've been writing Niall in my other fics since (except Live and Die, funnily enough), like Woundrous and Mystical really shaped my writing

4. The Ephemeral Nature of Flowers

Probably the fic of mine I've reread the most after Second Chance. I just love the vibes of that fic, I like the bittersweet ending, and I especially love the idea that a strong connection can be born in a very short time. Not in a 'love at first sight' kind of way because I don't really like that trope but in a 'we've had one real conversation and I feel like you and I connect in a very special way' kind of way

5. Thirteen Days to Fall in Love With Your Worst Enemy 

That fic was soooo much fun to write. Putting our Simon with a Baz that considers him their best friend, and our Baz with a Simon that considers him his best friend + non!binary Baz my beloved <3

Simon getting to see Baz for the person that he truly is and not this evil mastermind he imagines him to be is always my favourite thing to write in fics where they start out disliking each other, and this fic is literally just that, so

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Otona Blue

Yandere Kang Yeosang x fem reader

a/n: this is by far the longest and most thought out fic i've ever written and i'm so proud of it <3 i put so much care and effort into it, so i hope you enjoy!

tags: @seojonneh & @thatswhywerefever

You've got your eyes on the new senior in your music class, and the feeling is unfortunately mutual.

✫彡wordcount: 8k

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ (ಡ‸ಡ)genre:

yandere, college au, angst

ಠ_ಠwarnings/contents:

long read, takes place over a few months, semi-slow burn, yandere behavior, age gap (19-23/college freshman-college senior), bullying, violence(not described towards reader), cursing, nicknames, threats of death(again, not towards reader), online stalking(kinda?), kissing, one(1) horn-ee line that implies they did the deed, emotional vulnerability, yandere&dark themes really shine towards the end, probably part one because i have so many ideas for these two

ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪ song recs:

OTONABLUE by ATARASHII GAKKO!! "i want you to connect to my heart"

Can We Lie Here? by Holy Fawn "the field grows taller and it will never let you go"

First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski "please don't say you love me"

Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain "i am the face of loves rage."

Darkness, I'll Always Be Your Girl by R. Missing "i'm always going to be your girl"

MATURE UNDER THE CUT MDNI

The fourth period of the day is always your favorite. The teacher is kind and helpful. You get to express yourself through music. No one in the class seems to bother you- in fact (even in a class full of seniors) you seemed to make a few friends. The teacher even let you hide out the first few weeks of school during your free period to avoid the chaos that seemed to follow you.

All in all, the music room is your safe place. A smile graces your lips as you round into the large room, greeting a classmate who's by the door gathering his book from the tall closet cabinet.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He welcomes you, turning into the storage and grabbing the book with your name on its spine.

"Thanks, Soobin." You take it with a small bow to your senior and turn to walk with him to your seats. "Oh," you sigh. Someone is in your chair, their face hidden by the musical sheet stand in front of it. You look to Soobin for help, and he simply shrugs before taking your hand and leading you to the back of the room, to your occupied seat.

"Excuse me," he speaks to the man. His head pokes up from behind the stand and he stares at the two of you with an unreadable expression. "Oh, uhm," Soobin stumbles over his words, gesturing to you.

"This is actually where I usually sit," you stammer, avoiding his cold eyes. When he says nothing, and makes no effort to move, just looking at you - Soobin kicks his shoulder with yours, making you stumble. "Well, the intructor likes us in specific places, so that the music is... y'know? Did he sit you here?" You ask slowly, looking at anything but him.

"Ah," he sighs, looking to the unoccupied seat behind him. "He must of pointed to that seat. Sorry." He speaks shortly, slowly setting his violin in the open case at his feet and sliding it back to his seat.

"Thanks..."

Soobin mumbles an apology to the quiet man as he nearly bumps into him on the way to the seat beside yours. You nod shortly at him and take his place, setting your violin in his' place. You fold your book open to the page scribbled on the blackboard behind the teachers piano.

As you set it down on the music stand, you see a book already in its rightful place. You roll your eyes, meeting eyes with Soobin, who has a teasing smile on his face. He knows you well enough to know that you already want to be done with the music room intruder.

You fold the book closed and come face to face with a name newly printed on the front cover with Sharpie.

강여상

"Uhm," you twirl around in the plastic chair, "Sunbae?" You know he's a senior. Everyone beside you and one other student is.

He looks up from the string he's fixing on his violin and his eyes go to his book in your hands. "Sorry," he chimes, slotting his instrument between his knees and taking the book with both hands. Your hands stay frozen in place as you finally take a moment to look at him. And, God, is he gorgeous. He has a birthmark under one of his eyes, that you can't seem to get over. It makes him look somewhat ethereal.

"Yeosang?" You ask, and he nods, eyes flicking away before coming back to yours. "Resonated sound," you offer a smile, and he's a bit taken a-back.

Your friend next to you is even more so. You're willingly conversing with someone other than him? Since when? Where is his (Y/n) and what did you do with her?

"It makes sense that you're a violin player! It resonates the most, I think."

"Oh, really? I didn't ever think of that," he laughs a little bit- and you swear it's the cutest thing ever. You go to speak again, when the instructor beats you to it by telling the class to turn to the song you'll be working on. You turn back around and offer Yeosang a final, small smile, and get your violin situated.

Thursday morning, the class is in a slight chaos as you turn the corner and enter. You, too, are buzzing with anxiety and anticipation. Yesterday, just before the bell, your teacher said that he would be asking a few individuals to try out for a special part in the song for your upcoming performance.

Soobin is already in his seat, bouncing his leg as he reads and re-reads the notes: trying to memorize them. The pretty new guy is one of the only calm ones in the entire room, gently working on one of the parts that he seems to have trouble with.

You take your seat wordlessly and immediately get to work, working the bow over the strings effortlessly. You block out all the other instruments and conversations, letting the music take over your mind. You had spent the better half of last night memorizing the notes and the timing, and the song already comes like a second mature. Music has always been your escape- your friend. You swing the bow away in the final note and let the sound resonate in your ears over the noise around you.

You smile, content with your own performance.

The hair on your arms stands up as an uneasy feeling washes over you. You glance around the room to find the source, and you don't find anything. "Hubae." The voice comes from behind you.

It's Yeosang, with his eyebrows creased in concentration as he looks down at the violin in his lap. You turn half way in your seat, humming in response. "Could you," he hesitates, "could you help me?" It seems like he's a bit ashamed to be asking, avoiding your eyes and mindless fingering out the cords.

"Sure, what do you need help with?" He turns the knob on the back of the stand loose and swivels it around to face you. He has his book marked up with circles and underlines and small singular-worded notes. One part, the one he's been practicing and messing up repeatedly is marked up the most. He points to it.

You slowly sit down your violin in its case and slide your seat beside his, taking up the empty space behind Soobin. "Ah, I had trouble with that too! You aren't the only one," you profess, smiling at him when his eyes flicker toward you for a moment. His face flushes quickly, and you pretend not to notice as you fix the stand to face you.

"So, it's the part where you go from G to A, right?" Yeosang nods, going from cord to cord slowly. "It's cause your fingers aren't warmed up enough." You take his violin gently and hold is loosely by its neck, holding out your other hand. You tap each of your fingers to your thumb quickly, going from your index to your pinky and then back. "Try." He does so, struggling slightly- but slowly getting up to speed with you. He continues the exercise as you sit his instrument in your lap, holding out your cupped hands. His movements halt, and he looks at your opened hands and his beloved instrument placed gently on top of your skirt.

"C'mere." Your reach out your hands and pick his up, slowly rubbing the lowest knuckles, "it's the ones that holds you back the most," you state matter-of-factly. You slowly work his hand for a few moments, before dropping it and handing him his violin. It takes him a few moments to recoup, and he shakes the thoughts from his head as he grabs it.

He places it under his chin and gives a final glance your way before he begins playing. When he reaches the line from hell, he passes by without any trouble, his limber fingers sliding into place fluidly, pressing down the right strings in the right place like he's done it a million times before.

"Beautiful!" He smiles at the compliment, lowering the violin to thank you before the teacher so rudely interrupts you again.

"Who's first?" He asks the class excitedly, locking the portable pianos wheels before leaning back on it. Everyone is silent, and you try to slowly maneuver your way back into your place. "Miss (Y/n)!" He points at your crouched figure, and you pop up from behind Soobins back with tight lips.

"No, thank you, Mr-"

"Come on down!"

You take a deep breath, gathering up your bow and violin and holding back a frown as you sit behind the piano with him. "Ready when you are." The rest of the class resumes their own practicing- save for Yeosang and Soobin: who watch you.

You lift your bow in time with him as he presses down the accompanying keys. You go through the entire verse, not missing a beat or a cord as you play your part. The ending note echoes out in unison with the piano, and you smile at the teacher as he takes down some notes before dismissing you to practice the next verse.

You walk toward Soobin with a new found confidence in life, pumping your fist and whisper-yelling about how you nailed it.

If only you looked back, you would see Yeosang looking at you with something dark swirling in his wide eyes.

Opposite to music and musical theory, lunch was the most dreaded part of your day. Soobin had his at a different time, and your friend Hiyyih was always late on Friday's because of her debate club.

You were left alone for the first 20 minutes of the hour long period, and it was the worst part of every Friday since the school year began.

How or why you grabbed the attention of such a foul senior was beyond you. But it seems like Un Ji has a personal vendetta against you- despite the fact that you had never even looked in her direction until she decided to trip you over during volleyball(why did she even do that? You were on the same team!). Perhaps she had some home problems, or had unpacked trauma, or was simply just that mean. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that she just can't seem to get enough of teasing you.

"There she is!" Her sing-song tone makes the hair on the back of your neck stand at attention. You're always in the same seat waiting for Hiyyih, so why does she bother acting surprised? "God, look at her. All lonely!" The condescending way she laughs alone is enough to make you want to curl up on yourself.

"Mind if we sit?" She and her goonies don't wait for you to respond, and you don't bother to anyhow. You just look down at your lunch with a forming frown. "Ah, don't frown! You'll get ugly..." You look up with your brows furrowed in confusion, and she has a serious expression on her face. A smirk slowly forms as she scans your face. "Oh," she draws out, "too late."

Some of the girls she's with begin laughing, and their giggles echo around your hot ears.

"Hey," Yeosang sits next to you with a smile directed towards you, completely ignoring the existence of Ji.

Your eyes flash to her, and back to him, and back down at your sandwich before you mutter out a hello. "Who's your friend?" She asks you, leaning her elbow on the table and holding her head as she gives him dreamy eyes.

"Oh," he dramatizes, hand to his heart. "I'm Yeosang." He says to her shortly, before turning back to you, "why aren't you eating?" The past two weeks, you and Yeosang have been slowly growing closer. Maybe he's decided it's finally time to join you outside of class.

"Psh, she doesn't need to. Look at her." Ji's desire to woo him is overwhelmed by her desire to tear you down. "So chubby, (Y/n), do you want to work with us during gym?"

Yeosang doesn't let the way your eyes widen with fear slide. His top lip rises as he looks at her in disgust. She seems like she's been knocked over with a feather, staring back at him as her face heats up. "What? I'm only looking out for my friend!" She swipes her hair over her shoulder and moves on from her brief moment of feeling scandalized. "Right?" She looks to her friend, who says something that doesn't quite reach either of you.

He's keeping his eyes on you again, watching as wetness builds up in your eyes. At the grating sound of her voice, he comes up with an idea. He sighs and stands up, "seems I've lost my appetite." You look up from beneath your eyelashes and watch as he takes the long way to a bin, passing behind Ji.

As he does, he makes an effort to cross his foot in front of the other, making himself stumble. "Oh my goodness!" He yells as she screams, the glass of water he had on his tray soaking into her back, loose pieces of food getting stuck in her hair. "Oh, I'm so clumsy." He deadpans as she stands to face him. "My bad." He looks over her shoulder to see you, quickly covering you smile with a hand over your mouth.

"You are so dead!" He slides away from her grasp and back around the table, grabbing your wrist and pulling you along- giving you just enough time to grab your bag before you escape the cafeteria: leaving a screaming Ji in your wake.

"Oh my god, Yeosang!" You begin to laugh as you run. His grip on you wrist slips down to your hand, and you don't protest as he holds it tightly, looking back as he continues to lead you away. His own laughter starts to sound out, dying down soon as you both slow.

He lays down on a cement bench, and you take a seat at the very end of it by his feet. Both of you breath heavily between broken chuckles. He props his head up on his hand and looks down at you.

"She had that coming, huh?"

"Oh, yeah!"

He leans back and gazes up at the clear sky, squinting at the brightness before he fully closes his eyes. "Hate people like that."

A silence envelopes the both of you, save for the blowing wind that cools down your flush face. He listens to your breaths, matching his own to them.

"Thank you, Sunbaemin...I could have handled it, you know, on my own- but I really appreciate it." You rant quickly, placing your hand on his lower leg in a show of gratitude.

He nearly twitches away at the feeling, eyes opening and finding you once again. "No problem." He sits up, "I have to admit... I've seen her bothering you before. I saw what she did to your book last week."

"Oh... yeah. That was one of my favorites."

I know. "I'm sorry I didn't step in earlier."

"It's okay, really. You don't have to stand up for someone you barely know." You offer him a sad smile, and he returns it with a wide one.

"I'll stand up for you." He says. He promises. "I'll protect you from her from now on."

"Really?" You ask abashedly, quickly correcting yourself to, "I mean- I'd really appreciate it, but, you know you don't have to do that for me!"

He tilts his head, seeming as if he's searching your mind. "Of course I do. You deserve better than to be treated like that."

Tears are building up in your eyes, and he quickly adjusts himself to sit with a leg on either side of the bench, scooting closer to you. "(Y/n)..." He draws out. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Why are you sorry, it's okay, ba-It's okay. Come here," he wraps his arms around your shoulders, bringing you closer as you begin to cry silently. "It's okay," he hushes you, sending a death glare in the direction of a student who's giving you both a strange look.

"I'm sorry, Yeosang." Over your own ragged breathing, you don't hear his breath catch in his throat. He tightens his grip on you and rubs his hands up and down your arm comfortingly.

"Don't be sorry. Shh, I'm here now, don't worry, okay?"

His skin is lit ablaze when you wrap your hand around his wrist in search of comfort. "Thank you," you whisper, "no one stands up for me."

"I will."

"And then?!" Hiyyih urges you to continue, hugging her big rabbit plushie tightly as you tell the story of what happened with Yeosang earlier that day. You lean your head over the edge of the bed from your seat on the floor and smile.

"He just kinda... held me? It was really nice, actually. I mean- at first it was a little weird cause, like, obviously: but it was nice!"

"Oh my God," your best friend exclaims, flattening herself on the bed to be closer to your face. "That's so sweet of him! I need to meet this guy and give him the stamp of Hiyyih approval."

"Oh, it's not like that... He's just my senior, seniors take care of juniors they like right? He's just friendly." You back away in confusion when she places the back of her hand on your cheek.

"You're blushing!" She yells, flopping off the bed to join you on the floor as you begin screaming that it's just warm in her room, and she's screaming right back that you have a crush.

"Bahiyyih!" Her brothers voice rings out, making you both stop, making an 'oh shit' face as you hear his heavy footsteps come down the hall. The door opens to reveal her big brother, Kai, with his hand perched on his hip. You feel like he might scold you for being so loud, but he scrambles into the room and shuts the door behind him. He plops down opposite of the both of you and leans forward, "spill."

"It's nothing! He's just a nice guy from my music class." "She's totally whipped for this dude!" You and Hiyyih speak over one another, slapping each others hands down as you both try to emphasize your own point. "Good lord," Kai mumbles, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Start from the beginning."

You and Hiyyih continue interrupting each other every so often as you explain about Yeosang. And when she cuts you off for the third time, Kai reaches over and smacks her upside the head- causing a yelling match between the siblings.

You look down at your hands, thinking back to the way his skin felt under your finger tips. You don't even notice when the Huenings have stopped, now both looking at you. "Ooo, she's doing that thing again," she whisper yells, slapping his arm, "do you think she's thinking about him?"

"I can hear you, dickhead."

"My bad."

A round a laughs goes around, and she leans into your lap, looking up at you. "What were you thinking about, really? Him, right?" You nod a little bit, looking over to her vanity with an idea brewing in your head.

"You really think he likes me? I mean-"

"Of course!" "I think so, yeah."

"Hey, Hiyyih," you break the moment of silence. "Remember when we were in middle school and I had a crush on that one boy?" She looks up, searching her memory before she giggles a bit.

"You trying to say you want another makeover?" You nod with a smile, looking over to the mirror again.

"We're older now! I've been wearing the same lipstick since junior year of high school, I think I should upgrade, right?"

"Totally not to impress Yeosang, right?" Kai smirks, already scooting towards the makeup boxes Hiyyih keeps under her bed. "I can teach you how to do eyeliner, I'm better at it!"

"Hey!" She yells, offended he would make fun of her skills. He only sticks out his tongue and goes back to searching the shoe box full of eye and lip liners.

"You know you don't have to do this to impress him, right? He already likes you. I mean- it's totally obvious. And you're so nice, how can he not?"

"I know," you drag on, "but maybe if I looked a little nicer I would have more confidence? I don't know..."

"Whatever you want, chick," she sits up on her knees and gives you and aggressive forehead kiss before falling back and yanking the box away from her brother. "Give me this," she takes the liner from him, "this isn't her color at all, you crazy?"

"Hi," you slide into the seat across from him and whisper quietly.

Yeosang already has his nose in a notebook book, and he puts it down to smile warmly at you. It's Friday, three weeks have passed since he promised to protect you- and he did just that. He found every reason possible to be near, and his presence was welcomed. At this point, you would even consider him 'friend'. You were hanging out after school.

Your crush on him hasn't died down. Not in the slightest. The more time you spend with him, the more you found yourself drawn into him. He liked similar things and was a beautiful violinist and had a certain aura around him.

He could say the same things about you. The closer he got, the more sucked in he was.

"Hey, Petal."

"How's your day been, Yeo?"

He smiles at the nickname, that same glaze washes over his eyes- the one you catch every so often but you're never quite able to place before he blinks it away. He told you weeks ago you don't have to call him by any honorifics. At first you were hesitant, but soon enough you were Yeo and Petal (which he affectionately nicknamed you after he cought you playing the 'he loves me, he loves me not' game).

"Good, and yours?"

"Good!" You drop the whisper. No one is ever in the large library. Not even the librarian. Just you, Yeosang, and some girl named Lucy who reads on the other side of the room.

"Did Lucas bother you today?"

You roll your eyes. Lucas, also a freshman, has been harassing you to go out with him and won't seem to take no for an answer. "No, thank god. He wasn't there today. So... What are you working on?"

He sits and explains his project, then you explain yours. This is how it is on Fridays and Wednesdays. You sit in each others company and do all of your work, reaching out for help when you get stumped.

It's all easy today, so easy in fact: you fall asleep after you've finished your own work. It takes Yeosang no time at all to notice.

He sits up a bit and looks around. Then he stands up. He takes the seat next to you, slowly lowering his head to rest parallel to yours.

A piece of hair has fallen loosely over your face, swaying with each breath you take. Surely... you won't mind if he fixes it, right?

He moves at a turtles pace until he reaches your face and sweeps back the hair with his fingertips grazing your cheek.

As he studies you, he finally gets a chance to see the new makeup style you've been wearing as of late. It makes you look more mature, more confident. He can't tell if likes it quite yet. But, to be honest, he like's everything you do. Maybe he has a preference, but he can't tell. Because,

"always so pretty."

You stir a bit at his deep whisper, subconsciously leaning toward the warmth of his hand. He flattens his fingers and rests his palm against you. His heart seems to beat out loud: he's shocked it hasn't woken you. When you mumble something, he scoots his face a smidge closer. It sounds like nonsense, but your voice still soothes something that runs wild inside him.

His hand wanders down to the ends of your hair and he twirls his finger around them, letting go gently.

He himself nearly falls asleep, a peace he's never known washing over him with your shallow breaths in his ear.

He's teetering on the edge of unconsciousness when a loud noise disrupts the peace you've created for him. He places his hand on your shoulder, ready to wake you up at a moments notice as he looks around. As the panic settles, and his heartbeat dies back down, he registers that it was just a door.

"Hey," he lightly shakes your shoulder, "wake up." Your eyes flutter open and blink up at him as he cups your face in his hand. "Have a good nap?" He teasingly asks, stroking you cheekbone with his thumb. You groan in response, and tug your arm up. When you place your hand over his and hold it closer to your face, he almost moans at the feeling.

"Should have brought a jacket," you mumble sleepily. "So cold. Your so warm, Yeo." He looks over to his seat, where his large hoodie is draped over the back.

"Do you," he stutters, "do you want my hoodie?" You peek open one of your eyes and glare at him.

"Don't even play with me, really?" You sit up, and his hand falls back to his side. "It's not too much to ask, is it? What if- what if you get cold?" He reaches over the table top and grabs the fabric, handing it over with a promise that he'll be okay without it.

The warmth envelops you, and you sigh contentedly, wrapping your arms around yourself. "Thank you."

His heart flutters as he takes in the sight of you in his clothes and makes a mental note to make sure to turn the thermostat up even in the colder weather so he can hand over more. "Looks good on you." He tries to be nonchalant, but the blush on his cheeks gives him away rather fast. "Blues your color."

"You think?" You lift up the hood and pull the strings just enough to cover your ears before you tie it in a bow. He says nothing, just smiles fondly as you take up your phone. "Oh, I didn't sleep too long! Did you finish your work?"

He shakes his head, "I have some maths left. I just took a break before i torture myself with it."

"I can do maths!" You stand up and run to the other side, searching through his organized papers until you find the math. "Least I can do for you." He watches as you work diligently, the pencil scratching against the paper fills the comfortable silence. Only a few minutes pass until you slam the pencil down dramatically. "Boom, bam!"

He takes the paper and scans it over as he mumbles a thank you. You return to your seat next to him and begin gathering your materials. "Hey, (Y/n)..."

"Yup!" You face him, smile faltering as you see his solemn expression. "What, what's wrong? Did I mess up the work?"

"I really like spending time with you."

You're left with your jaw dropped for a moment, before you gather the courage to speak. "I...I like spending time with you too. It's easy, with you. Y'know? Just feels right! I'm actually... well, I'm really glad you transferred to Mr. Canessa class." You ramble on, speaking with you hands and not noticing that he's tearing up until one of his tears hit the table. "Oh, Yeosang! I'm sorry!" You scoot your chair closer and wrap your arms around his shoulders, cradling his head.

He sniffles quietly and simply lets you hold him, hushing him and sniffling along with him. "Why are you crying?" He asks through his sobs. "Why are you?" You ask right back.

"Because I want to kiss you so badly."

You pull away slowly and look at his teary eyes through your own. "I want to protect you from Ji, and from everyone. And I want- I want you to warm up my hands before I play. I don't ever want you to call me Sunbaenim again because I wish you saw yourself as my equal because that's what y-" You shut him up by rewrapping your arms around him, crying harder into his shoulder. The sound of your cries triggers his own, and he latches onto you like a kola, bringing you into his lap. "I'm so sorry, (Y/n), I think I'm falling in love with you."

There's a beat of quiet until you speak, "what if I'm falling in love with you, too?"

He cries into your shoulder, grip tightening around your waist. "Please, don't say things like that." He feels you tug at his hair gently and leans his head back to look up at you.

"Not even if I mean it?"

"Do you? Mean it?"

"Yes."

He grins weakly as you begin to wipe up his tears with the paw of the hoodie. "Petal?" He blinks anxiously as you hum in response. "Can I kiss you?"

You answer him with your lips on his, and it takes him a good moment to catch up. He closes his eyes and lets himself melt into you.

He falls into his back, a deep sigh passing his lips. He looks up at the ceiling and just thinks.

Your third date together had just ended: successfully in his opinion. It was barely different from the time you two had spent together before the library, but at the same time it felt all new. With your feelings out in the open you no longer had to hold back. He openly admired you, not bothering to hide his flushed face when you complemented him or avoided eye contact as his eyes shined with that unplaceable glaze.

He doesn't know why... he can't understand. How do you have him wrapped around your little finger so tightly in such a short time?

Is it the way your touch always leaves goosebumps in your wake? The way your hands work so diligently to make awe-inspiring music? Maybe, it's the way you smile when you see him. The smile that's reserved just for him? That could be it...

His phone buzzes with a small ding on his stomach. The ring tone he assigned just to you, a small bird song.

He opens the message in the next second, smiling like an idiot at the words you've typed out.

i had lots of fun ! i'm still laughing at your jokes haha

...

The phone vibrates in his hands.

where should we go next time ?

His thumbs work quickly to respond, going back and forth as he tries to come up with a good response.

You choose next time :) Show me someplace nice, Petal

He closes out the app and opens Instagram, hovering over the search bar for a moment before he finally typed in your user. He moves fluidly to it, having done this a million times before. You haven't posted in a while, but you have a new story. He clicks on your icon- a phone of you and your best friend (Bahiyyih, was it? He'll have to look into her.) making kissy faces.

The photo you've put on your story is on you took while with him. When a small lizard jumped on your table and tried to steal one of his french fries. You snapped a picture of him with his hand over his mouth in shock, staring at the lizard as it tries to drag a french fire that's bigger than it is.

He smiles fondly, snapping a screen shot of the memory. When the page refreshes, he sees that you have a new 'saved story' category. It's named "Yeo★".

The only other one on your page is called "Huening hoes". He's seen all of them a million times, but he still takes his time to click through it. It's pictures of you and Bahiyyih, of just her, and occasionally her brother. They, along with Choi Soobin, seemed to be your closest (if not only) friends.

At first, he was suspicious of the older Huening- but his nerves calmed down when he noticed the difference in your comments to them. On Yeosangs post of him playing the violin, he got a heart emoji. On kai.ning 's post of him and his track team: 'only went to see you fall... disappointed' followed by a sad face and a begging emoji.

His favorite by far was posted the day he stepped up to Ji. You are sitting in between Kai's legs as he does your hair, a bottle of nail polish in one hand and the brush in the other, a big grin on your face as your head is leaned back in laughter.

More often than not, he finds himself thinking what it would be like to have been there. To hear your laughter, to be the cause of it. He loves that laugh. He loves it so much. He'd give anything to have it all to himself. To have you all to himself.

He groans, locking his phone and rolling over with a frown.

He doesn't know why or how you have his heart on a string. You have him bewitched. How? Is it your eyes? Which look at him like he's a most valuable piece of art? Is it your lips? So soft and open for his taking? Maybe, your hands? Such a delicate embrace that leaves him begging for more?

God... he wonders what it would be like to fall asleep in your safe embrace.

He's fully fallen for you, and he's fallen hard. Why? Was it your kind nature? The way you didn't hesitate to help him when he acted like he didn't know how to play that verse? Was it the way you hung onto him when Ji passed by, silently begging him to protect you? Maybe- maybe the way that you held onto his shoulders as you moaned, so tightly that your nails left indentations for two whole days? It had to have been the way you rested your forehead against his with your eyes closed blissfully after your first kiss. The excited look in your eyes as you rambled about your interests?

He loved it all. He wanted it all. And he'd do anything to keep it. To keep you.

Kang Yeosang never knew fear until the day he answered the phone to your broken sobs at exactly 12:47 AM. You cried and cried for him, begging for him to help you. And he did. He took his keys and followed your shared location to the school. He ran all the way to where he knew he would find you.

He slams the double doors to the music room open and pauses for a moment until he sees your cowered figure by the rack of guitars, leaning on the wall with your head in your hands.

He yells out to you, sliding to his knees in-front of you. "Oh, precious thing," he pushes your hands down and takes your face in his own, "what happened to you?" His heart stops beating in his chest.

Your eyes are puffy and red. But that's the least of his concerns. You have dried blood that's dripped down your nostril. A forming bruise on the side of your face.

"Who did this to you?"

The second you explain what happened, he's back on his feet, ready to hunt down that bitch Un Ji.

"Yeo, please!" You hold onto the back of his calve, sticking him in place. "Don't," you plead, "please, don't go." He sits back down on the tile floor with you.

"My Petal," he begins to tear up, "they've crushed you." You can't say anything more, simply crying as you hold his hands tightly, attempting to stop the way your whole body trembles. "She put her fucking hands on you, (Y/n). She bruised you, she made you cry, look at what she did to your violin! She needs to learn her god damn lesson. She isn't better than anyone, and she certainly isn't better than you."

Your blurry vision turns to your prized instrument, now just a mess of broken wood and snapped strings. And the sight only makes you cry more. "Don't worry," he pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. "I'll fix it... I'll fix it all." You hang onto him for dear life, sobbing into him.

"Baby," he hums, swiping away your tears the second you lean away. "I hate to see you cry like this," he holds you gently as he leans his head on yours to imitate what has become a habit of yours. "Breath with me, c'mon. You're okay now." You bite your lip to hold back your cries, eventually evening out your breathing to match his.

"You'll be okay?" He goes to stand again, and is once again stopped when you keep your grip on his hand.

"What will you do?"

"I'll just scare her. Show her to stay away."

And he plans on keeping his word to you, he truly does, but when he sees Ji all alone on the top of the stairs, all his mind can think is how 'this fucking bitch deserves to die for putting her hand on you'.

"Un Ji!"

She stands up and looks down at him with an expression of coldness, mirroring the same one he has. Only, with less rage. "I'll fucking kill you," he grabs her by her neck and pushes her to the cold ground, following her as she tries to back away. "What the fuck, dude?!"

She grabs his wrist and tries to pry it away, but he won't let up: clouded by his anger. "You are such a stuck up little bitch! You think you get to walk all over her? You think you get to touch her and get away with it? Huh? Answer me, cunt!"

"You fucking psycho, get away from me!" She struggles. He throws her down by the grip he has on her neck and lets her head slam onto the hard floor.

She's still dazed, her vision blurry from the bang to her head, when he crouches down to her level. "I should kill you." He smirks as she uncoordinatedly tries to scramble away. "I really should, but... I don't think (Y/n) would come around to that. She will come around to this though."

"Wha-" her question is cut off when he stands quickly and stomps on her hand. "Fuck, what the fuck," she screeches, trying to pull her hand back when he steps down harder and a crunch rings out. She lets her head fall to the ground, soaking it with her tears.

"Was it this hand you struck her with?" He moves to kick the other one out from under her, and steps down lightly. "Or this one?" When she doesn't answer, he crushes her hand anyway. "Best be safe." She yells and yells, but the only other person in the building this late is you; and your too occupied with the remnants of your instrument to hear her.

"Please, stop!" He lifts his foot, and for a moment she things she's got through to him. Then he swings his leg back and brings it forward to her gut with force. She attempts to roll over, but finds no splice as he just kicks her back instead. "Low life," he groans, "fucking piece of trash."

He forces her to lay down on her back with a sneaker placed to her shoulder. "Are you crying?" He coos mockingly, "awww." He bends down, pinching her cheek harshly. "Should have fucking thought about the consequences."

He replaces his foot with his knee, putting all of his weight down on her shoulder until she's slapping his leg, begging him to stop as he crushes it. "When someone asks you what happened, you say Lucas Montgomery did it, got that?"

He plans on taking down two birds with one stone, knowing that the socially inept Lucas wouldn't have anyone to use as an alibi.

"Ye-yeah."

"Hey, Un Ji... who did this to you?"

"Lucas." She coughs. Blood dribbles down her chin.

"Un Ji-ah," he yells into her face, "who did this to you."

"Lucas did! Lucas Montgomery!"

"Good. Make it believable, too." He kicks her down and gives her one last glance full of hatred with a threat, "cause next time, I won't stop until I can hand her your head on a stick."

He leaves her crying on the upstairs floor as he returns to you. He finds you, nearly unmoved from where he left you. Gathering up the broken pieces of your violin and attempting to do the same to your heart.

"Yeo?" You stand up and embrace him the second he crosses into the room, wrapping your arms around his waist and listening to his heavy breathing.

When you back up, you see a splatter of red on the tip of his sneakers. "Are you okay? Is that blood?" He cups your face in his hand and caresses his thumb over the bruise. "Yeosang!" He blinks back into reality. "Is that blood?"

You reach for the closed door behind him, when he grabs your wrist and pushes it back to your side. "You don't need to see that."

"Don't nee- what did you do?" He pushes you further into the room by your shoulder softly. "Yeosang, what did you do to her? You said you were just going to scare her!"

"She's scared," he says nonchalantly. "She won't bother you again." When you ask if he hit her, he almost scoffs a laugh. "I crushed her... I crushed her just like she did to you."

You don't know what's come over him, but you don't like it. This isn't the Yeosang you've been falling in love with. This Yeosang is scaring you.

"I want to go home, now."

He nods, "I'll take you."

"No." You speak all too quickly for his liking. "I don't want... I don't want to be near you right now. How can you... you did exactly what she did to me."

He grabs onto your forearm tightly, pulling you back as you try to leave and pushing you onto the wall next to the whiteboard.

"My beautiful flower," he hums, cool knuckle sliding down your cheek and across your jaw.

"Yeosang." His name is whispered like that of a devil, so quiet that he can barely pick up on the emotions lacing your voice. "We shouldn't... we should stop before we get more involved. I'm- I don't think-"

"No," he grumbles, pushing off the wall and going to pace around the music room. "You don't get it," he yells, kicking one of the sheet stands. You yelp involuntarily, backing into the chalkboard as his cold gaze finds you. "You don't get it," he begins to laugh, raking a hand through his hair.

"Sunbae-"

"Don't fucking call me that!" His conscience is filled with guilt as he hears the word, but it's quickly overwhelmed by the butterflies that fill his gut as he sees you cowering against the wall. "Don't call me that," he repeats in a soft, whining voice. As he approaches, you scoot behind the teachers piano, using it as a barrier between the both of you.

"Why are you scared," he asks. Wether it's genuine or teasing, you can't seem to tell.

"Please, stop. Lets just go our separate ways."

He places his hands on the top of the wooden piano, smirking as he unlocks the wheels with the tip of his sneakers. He pushes it to the side harshly, making the keys clang and echo around the room as it collides with the double doors. "Yeosang, please! You're scaring me!"

"Don't worry," he purrs as he crowds you, taking your hands in his and holding them between you: pressing his body against yours and effectively trapping you.

"Oh, Petal," his voice is truly mocking now, but it goes away as quickly as it came. "We are already involved. Do you have any idea what I would do for you? Huh? Any idea what I'm willing to do? What I did to that bitch is nothing compared to what I'm willing to do..." He places his forehead to yours, breathing in the smell of your sweet conditioner and listening to your ragged breaths. For a single moment, he feels like he's in heaven.

Then, the sirens come into ear shot.

Eyes wide, filled to the brim with tears that you refuse to let fall, you search his cold gaze. "What did you do?"

"I told you that I would protect you, yeah? That's exactly what I did." He leans his face impossibly closer to yours, "I have a feeling she won't be bothering you. Not as long as I'm around."

You turn your head to the side, avoiding his eyes as your tears fall. "Hey!" The grip he has on your chin is rough, probably rough enough to bruise.

"Yeo, please," you sob, subconsciously wrapping both your hands around his free one: which is still perched against your stomach.

"Look at me," he all but begs, shifting his weight around anxiously as you slowly turn your eyes to face him.

"I didn't do anything wrong, you know that right? She may have got hurt, but... after everything she did to you? That cunt had it coming. Okay?"

"Mhm." You bite your lip, nodding tightly in his grasp. "I'm sorry, Yeo."

"I know, baby." He places a chaste kiss to your cheek. He releases his death grip and taps your cheek gently with a smile. "I just want to protect you. You'll let me, won't you?"

The sirens are full force, ringing through the school. The lights flash through the tall window.

"Won't you?" He leans his head down and brushes his lips against you, almost begging.

"Yeah." You mumble into his lips, letting him kiss you deeply.

"Good. Let's get out of here, Petal."

[krirebr]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you so much for the tag, @bigtreefest 💜💜💜

We Are Vain & We Are Blind (Dark Ransom Drysdale x Reader) I genuinely think this is the best thing I've written. It's definitely the most ambitious. It has a bunch of elements I'd never tried before (horror, suspense, smut, etc) and I'm so so proud of myself for pulling it off. It will probably always be my favorite.

I Know I Should Know Better (Bodyguard!Curtis x Actress!Reader) My first stab at a series and the work that taught me how to do chapters. Plus, I just really love these two sad beans and how very much they care about each other. My ideal mix of angst and pining.

More Than This (Arranged Marriage Ransom Drysdale x Reader) It is very possible that by the time this monster is done, it will be the longest thing I've ever written. Just really dragging out this slow burn and exploring all the ways these two deeply flawed people might actually fit together has been so fun for me.

I Can't Sleep Cause My Bed's On Fire (Vamps Ransom x Reader x Steve) The introduction of Vampire Steve!!!!!!!!! Some of the most fun I've ever had writing. And the fic that turned my little one-pairing AU into a giant multi-pairing mess of worldbuilding.

Giving Me a Thrill (Sex worker Johnny Storm x 40s something Reader) Really hard to write, for whatever reason, but now that it's out in the world, I'm so proud of it. A lot of my own feelings about aging are in this one. Along with Johnny just being an absolute menace. 😏

NPTs: @navybrat817 @intrepidacious @targaryenvampireslayer @darsynia @foxgloveprincess

[linskywords]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to five other writers! 💗

Have you done this yet? If you haven't, you should! If you want!

Top five! Oh man that's so hard. Through great self-restraint I have narrowed it down to these five:

Burn Our Fingers and Change Our Names (Hockey. Bennguin. 44K. Werewolf AU, but not if you ask Tyler.) Ah, the wolfverse, my beloved. I could have chosen five just from there, but I went with this one because I think the pining is the most delicious. Also who can resist this level of cluelessness from Tyler?

Like You Have a Secret (Hockey. 1988. 34K. Kaner is a girl who disguises herself as a guy to join the NHL. Aka the She's the Man AU.) Outdated at this point in that no one in the story seems to consider the possibility of trans people, but still one of the most fun stories I've ever written, and also one of my favorite versions of Kaner. If I ever decide to take a hockey story and file off the serial numbers and try to sell it, this will be a candidate (with some major updates).

I Feel Like I've Been Locked Up Tight (Hockey. Bennguin. 34K. Jamie's a virgin who keeps falling hard for the wrong people.) This is the closest I've come to writing about my own demisexuality. This one's for everyone who can't figure out why they can't just date and hook up like everyone else seems to. (Turns out there are a lot of us in fandom!) It was like pulling teeth to get this one written and I'm so glad I persevered; it feels hard-won and honest to me.

Just to Break My Own Fall (Hockey. 1988. 9K. Kaner decides to move out of Trump Tower). This one is sort of a deep cut, but it feels like the other half of my own history of romantic anguish: the tendency to fall for friends and to learn to live with it but some times are harder than others. It's ostensibly about Kaner selling his condo and really about yearning for what you're not sure you'll ever get to have.

Someone Else's Solid Ground (Hockey. TK/Patty. 22K. Nolan struggles with gender.) This is the first really serious exploration of gender I've ever written. I always feel weird writing those, because I identify as cis, but also they speak to me in some way that maybe should make me reexamine that identification at some point. This one was prompted, for Yuletide, and I probably wouldn't have written anything like it otherwise, but it ended up feeling really powerful in a way I didn't expect.

Those are all pretty old--the most recent is from 2020--and I think that's because those stories feel "vetted" to me: I wrote them long enough ago that I could have stopped caring about them but I didn't. As a bonus, here are my top five from the past four years:

Where You Lead (Hockey. Jack/Nico. 42K. BDSM AU where there are no subs in the NHL, so Jack obviously isn't one.) It was a tossup between this and the sequel; I love them both dearly. This one really started something for me. I have at least three more stories I need to write in this 'verse now, and I doubt it'll stop there.

Wanna Love You in the Daylight (Hockey. Mitch/Auston. 107K. Wolfverse.) Again, probably arbitrary to call this my favorite of the recent wolfverse stories, but I reread it a while back and was just so happy with how it held up. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and very different in its pov character from most of my longer stories (Mitch might actually be...emotionally competent??), which makes it feel singular.

Don't Want You Like a Best Friend (Hockey. JD/TZ. 10K. Jamie doesn't understand that hooking up with Trevor might mean he's into guys.) Haha speaking of emotional competence: Jamie doesn't have it. This one was just a delight. Jamie's conversation with Rico makes me giggle looking back on it. This is one of those stories you're almost sad to have written because you want the experience of writing it again, over and over.

So Hey, Let's Be Friends (Hockey. Quinn/Brady. 4K. Brady has Quinn's name on his arm, but Quinn doesn't have Brady's.) I don't know that this is anyone else's favorite of mine, but it was an experiment for me -- can I write a whole pining journey in 4K? -- and I was so pleased with how it turned out. It's not perfect, but it felt almost miraculous to me.

The Jaws That Snatch (Scholomance. El/Orion but mostly a "what happens next" after Last Graduate. 5K.) Partially because I'm smug about getting the thing about [redacted] right, but mostly because it had people asking in the comments if I was sure I wasn't Naomi Novik. I'm carving those comments in stone, so I can be buried with them.

[loftec]

Weekly tag Wednesday Thursday part 2

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

Thank you for the tags, @deedala and @wehangout! <3

How did you get into the fandom? 

I was watching gay compilation videos on YouTube and found the Gallavich season 1-4 video, then watched too many seasons of Shameless UK (because I didn't have access to US) then watched five seasons of Shameless US, then spent 3 months reading the whole tag on AO3.

How long have you been here?

Since... 2015?

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

I would say AO3, because I was on there reading people's fics for a long time before I started following their links to tumblr.

What’s your favourite now? 

Tumblr!

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@the-rat-wins for sure, but also @wideblueskies @damnnmilkovich @grumblesandmumbles @beckyharvey29 @mimilaroo and a few others that aren't really active anymore

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

I'm so bad at like, retaining what I thought of people before I get to know them? But I'm pretty sure I got @the-rat-wins to follow me back by photoshopping a picture of Cam and Noel at an event together? I absolutely remember thinking I wanted to be friends and what makes better friends than a creepy little photo manip gift?

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

I have no idea, I read so much fic. Here are my old rec rambles.

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

Most likely @luluxa 's art of Mickey...

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

Not sure if there is one, I have tried most tropes just to check them out, and I have liked tropes I don't normally like when it's just the once and it's done in some interesting or particularly skillful way, but I don't think I've ever done a 180 on something? I suppose! I usually start out only reading canon compliant fic when I'm first entering a fandom. Then I will either run out of steam or start reading AU, or fully just transition to only reading AU (which is what happened with Shameless, more or less). So I normally start out not liking AUs and then given enough time and steam, I will make AUs my whole personality.

What surprised you most about this fandom?

I'm really surprised by what it has become, it's so nice to see all the crafts and community building that's going on here every week, and how nice and drama free (from my vantage point anyway) it has become, in the last few years. I'm not very good at participating, but I really want to because it feels like such an open and welcoming and community-focused space.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

I had zero context for this scene when I first saw it, but oh. My god.

Ian or Mickey?

Uuuuuuh I mean. Ian.

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

Probably Liam haha?

Do you want to answer some q:s? Consider yourself tagged!

[incalculablepower]

some fics i've liked lately

it's been a weird year. when i made this list of recs back in january i fully intended it to become a monthly thing, but life happened and then i guess it just kept happening. in early 2023 things were ramping up in my new career, i was practicing and playing a lot with my band to prepare for our first show, i was settling into dealing with depression and anxiety with medication, i was getting over a miserable breakup. then i fell in love. i lost my job (the best and most favourite job i've ever had) abruptly this past may. this is my longest period of unemployment since i was a teenager and while you think it would be the best time to lose yourself in fandom, i felt the opposite. fandom was such a lifeline to me when i had a miserable job and was in a bad relationship and needed an escape but i was very present in my own life this summer. i took my partner to visit my family and spent a lot of time with friends and played shows (and recorded some music... shameless self promo once again) and in between i watched so much star trek on my couch. this is such a long preamble to explain why i haven't been fandoming as much lately and why idk if i'll write anything again anytime soon (let's say, once i have a job i want to procrastinate at) but -- i HAVE been reading fic! not as much as before, but i have been, and there's enough for a fic rest list so that's what i'm giving you today. when times are dire [podfic] - @aibidil

drarry. i have such a soft spot for middle aged draco and harry falling in love, the relationships they have with their friends and their grown children. @aibidil reads her own podfics and it's an utter delight. i usually only listen to podfics or audiobooks when i'm doing work around the house but i can going on walks with my headphones just so i could listen to more of this one.

purple haze by @ashesandhackles

romione. i was so so honoured to see this pop up in my ao3 gifts during @thethreebroomsticksfic pride fest this year. it turns the well tread romione ground of shell cottage and the yule ball over a bit, using them as settings to explore a confusing mix of jealousy and sexuality for ron and hermione. ashes knows i love mess with these and it captures that teenage chaos wonderfully, then lets them laugh at it as secure and settled adults.

crookshanks by @ala-baguette

gen. warning that this is a tearjerker, especially if you've ever loved and lost a pet. i think the pure and simple expressions of love and gratitude from crook's pov here would be a comfort to any pet owner.

at some point this year, i got REALLY into the idea of a one-sided dramione. it's hard to look for, especially since it's such a popular ship but i managed to find a few that scratched the itch until i find the time and/or motivation to write one of my own new years eve by 2daughtersofathena, the guardian angel by mylifebelongstothebbc, and a boy of hans by elixirsoflife. the last one being my personal favourite, a grim take on the hanahaki disease trope.

every mother is a grave by witchofimber

this was recced by @whinlatter in @thethreebroomsticksfic discord (btw i feel like no one on my followers lists needs anyone to remind them to read beasts -- but please read beasts) and when i saw "gillian flynn treatment" in the tags i slammed the mark for later button. this is probably the most balanced and realistic portrayals of molly weasley and her role as a mother that i've ever read in hp fic. it's not weasley family fluff but it doesn't devolve into something so flat as bashing either. molly is regular mother with flaws and strengths like anyone else and how they amplify and shift with love and grief and pain and stress and duty and pressure. every single relationship she has with her children is uniquely expressed and the way it ties the past to the direct aftermath of the war is so well done and a great way to organize this giant, messy family. particular care here went into fred and george, giving them their own identities in a way that can be difficult, given the source material. a favourite line:

“Probably have tried to make us name the twins after them.” He stopped laughing, sucked in a breath. “Do you want to?”  For a second she considered it. It would be wonderful, getting to use those names again like living things. But -  “No,” she said. “I - if they were alive, I’d have said no, so I’m saying it now. Let the boys be their own people.”  The truth was that she didn’t want to lose her brothers. To have their faces erased in her memory, painted over with her sons. To have to say no, not THAT Fab, I mean UNCLE Fab - he died before you were born. Anyway, she liked the names Fred and George. It was easier like this. 

the scrunchie by @saintsenara

another fic i've meant to read for ages and finally got around to just yesterday. the background drama of these side characters as a cheap scrunchie from boots floats around them is so perfectly teenage. reminds me of the other series i loved as a teenager around the time HP was coming out: georgia nicolson and gossip girl. i could also compare it to derry girls a little, how despite the environment surrounding them these girls are still being girls, arguing about stupid things and getting crushes on boys and having the absolute most ridiculous blowout fights with your sister (parvati and padma's portrayal here is probably my favourite i've ever read!)

i also can't leave without reccing @saintsenara's wip, one year in every ten. i can't get enough of a good case fic. tomarry/harrymort (both versions of this ship, oddly, apply to this fic) is not something i've ever sought out but i really think the way it's handled here could win over any non-believer. it's sharp and funny in a way that makes it turns into poignancy hit even harder. i screenshotted two full phone screen pages of chapter 27 so i could go back and read them over and over. it might be one of the best things i've ever read from ron's POV (emphasis mine):

It had been a long ten years, with a chair at their table always left empty and a hole in their hearts always unfilled. Grief was exhausting and boring and dully painful, like a slightly sprained ankle which you can still walk on, but which always bothers you a little bit.  But there had been love among the grief. There had been love before the grief - indeed love had caused the grief - and there had been love after. His love for his parents and his siblings had changed, the way wine left in a barrel changes and becomes richer and deeper. There was more sorrow in the love, as he threw a quaffle around with George and saw the tired lines at the corner of his eyes. There was more recrimination, more struggle with the mistakes they had all made in the past, as he finally sat down and had a real chat with mum and dad about how a lifetime of corned-beef sandwiches and maroon jumpers had made him feel. But there was more joy there too. And with joy came forgiveness and understanding and hope and fun.

image used is wildflowers (1915) by tom thomson

[forest-hashira]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

AHHH LIN!!! ok ok uhhhh. this is cheating a little bit bc two of these are series but they really are so special to me, i can't possibly pick just one chapter/installment from either of them. anyways, here are five of my favorites, not necessarily in order (edit: why the FUCK was this so hard???):

Noble Blood - stsg x gn reader; jjk dragon rider au. by word count, this is the longest multichap fic i've ever posted. it's really niche, since it's 1.) a reader insert, 2.) a poly ship, & 3.) a high fantasy AU, but it one of my favorite things i've ever written in my life, and i've been writing (fic & original writing) for over half my life.

Transfem Gojo - trans woman gojo satoru x gn reader. i've always loved playing around with characters' genders and sexualities, which like... there's definitely some projection happening there, but we don't need to talk about that. i also didn't expect the concept to turn into a whole series, but it has, and honestly i couldn't be happier about it, especially when it brought one of my favorite people into my life ( @dr-runs-with-scissors ily) and when i see how much other people love her, even if it's a very small group. again, a very niche concept, but i love it.

Too Much - kocho shinobu x gn autistic reader; shinobu helps reader through a meltdown. this fic was a gift for red ( @redlikerozez), actually! i really like this one bc, as someone who is autistic, it fulfilled a very specific hole in the reader insert space (at least in my experience). it was also nice to write for a character i hadn't yet written for, who is also a female characters and a character that generally has less fic written about her!

Lucky Shot - outlaw geto suguru & fem reader; platonic w/ open ending; gun violence, blood/injury, minor character death. i really liked all the entries i did for riley's collab, but this one is probably my favorite of the three! it was also my first geto fic that didn't include gojo.

Day Off - maki & gn reader; you spend the day at the arcade. this fic is the only one i've ever written based on a request (for @/yuutito), but it was so much fun to write! maki deserves more fics and writing something platonic is always nice.

honorable mention goes to my selkie shoko x gn reader fic Lost & Found.

[ihni]

🌟Writer Appreciation🌟

When you get this show of our five of your favorite fics and five fics you like from other writers then send this to at least one other person.

(Since I was also tagged by @sanguine-tenshi to post my five favorite fics that I've written, I'm gonna smash'em together, because I don't wanna be too self-centered!)

My (current) five favorite fics that I've written (in no particular order): 1. Baby steps (a tumblr post that grew) 2. Taking Notes (bodyswap; longest fic I've written) 3. Birthday boy (made the most people cry, MUAHAHAA!) 4. Every weather is sweater weather in Hawkins (feelgood) 5. Over the edge (guilty pleasure, most fun to write)

And then about the five fics from other people ... you know what, let's make this interesting! I'm gonna rec SMUT, since you poor followers never ever get that, with my own writing XD (and since it's a rare, rare occurrance, let's do TEN): 1. On Billy by @sanguine-tenshi (because I just re-read it yesterday) (Billy&the basketball team basically, filthy filthy filthy, with a fantastic bonus non-smutty third chapter that I really enjoyed) 2. Mine Again by youllneverrecme (which, obviously I WILL rec you) (Harringroveson, mpreg - which, pregnancies overall freak me out but I'm a big girl and know how to skip the parts that aren't for me - and I really enjoyed the dynamics between the three in this) 3. this ain't a love song by @brawlite and @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger (Harringrove, college au, drinking, King Steve comes out to play) 4. ¿Por qué no los dos? by @robthegoodfellow (Harringroveson, ARO BILLY!! Fantastic to be reading aro ANYONE honestly, especially in a ship and with smut! A+ Love this) 5. Feeding Your Hunger by @weird-an (Harringroveson, and I just love this dynamic they've got going on) (Also honorary mention to Clutching Pearls, which I recently re-read and was so enamored by the thought of Billy in a pearl necklace that I forgot it had fisting in it XD) 6. brainless by shippertrash140109 (Harringrove, through Jonathan's eyes. One of the earliest smutty fics I enjoyed reading. So prettily written!) 7. Secrets make this town by Oop (@thingsalexwrites I think) (Harringrove + Hopper. This is so surprisingly sweet and feels romantic, admist all the fucking) 8. The Stolen Sapphire by @billyharringson (Harringroveson, very obsessive and unhealthy probably but SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN) (honestly, anything by Jad3w1ings is bound to be good, I'm also very into Forged so far but that's not done so it doesn't get the MAIN rec :p) 9. .｡❅*��⍋* Warm Nights at Frosty Heights *⍋⋆*❅｡. by @bouncypickle (Will never not rec this. The most romantic and unproblematic smut you ever did see. Feelgod fic, with smut.) 10. Smell of Apples by @neonponders (Harringrove, Steve is a demon and Billy's a man of the Church. It's exactly what you think it is, but better. Plus, apple pie mention! Oh, and the most savage line ever; "We're older than your god". Love.)

[carlos-in-glasses]

Fic Rec Friday Fun

Thank you for the tag @irispurpurea @reyesstrand @rosedavid @strandnreyes @iboatedhere @chicgeekgirl89 @catanisspicy - you're all so fantastic and I need to catch up on the ones in your lists I haven't read yet! A treat for me 🥰

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

For me the above means it would only be split between two fics and then a third for least words, so I'm going for the next-most for comments and bookmarks.

Most Hits: When Soulmates Swim - Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I'm going to go ahead and say this is probably the funniest fic I've written based on feedback! There's angst of course but also TK and Carlos bring out each other's fun side and I'm so happy with it because of that.

Most Kudos: Chasers - A 3x13 coda. While TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other. When Carlos arrives home, TK still has something important to say – and it's something he didn’t tell Cooper. I'm amazed and so grateful for the love on this one-shot. I loved delving into their backstories and featuring Alex who, fun fact, is based on my ex-boyfriend lol. Not me mining my most painful memories and emotions for content! ANYWAY this Cooper is in my current WIP so he'll be back soon...! Also Carlos goes for a swim and it's where the idea for the gym pool in When Soulmates Swim originated.

Most Comments: The Heart Behind the Shield - Bad Call (2x08) meets Abandoned (4x04) when TK and Carlos attempt to understand what they’ve been through and realize certain old wounds are bleeding into the new. They have both been held captive, faced death, made it home. Secrets, moods, hot messes – they love each other more every day. And they both still need their parents. I'd wanted to write a 2x08 coda for ages but couldn't figure out my angle until 4x04 came along with such blessed parallels. Like Chasers this also goes into backstory and I'm really happy with how those parts came out. Also just want to say that this has a particular scene between Carlos and Gabriel, which I'm very glad I wrote given what happens in 4x17.

Most Bookmarks: The Ruins of Wonderland - A divergence/re-imagining of Carlos and TK getting back together after their breakup. The severe winter storm doesn’t happen as forecast and Austin receives a manageable snowfall – without TK plunging into a frozen lake. Nancy’s 126 hang goes ahead. TK attends, but so does Carlos… This wasn't the first story I wrote/posted, but it's the first idea for a Tarlos fic I had and I have such a soft-spot for it. Important features: bed-breaking sex, slipper socks and a giant pretzel.

Most Words: When Soulmates Swim - 53k. The next is The Heart Behind the Shield at 34.4k. My longest one-shot is Man to Man at 14.6k.

Least Words: The Light of Our Life - 2.4k. After an awkward conversation, Carlos buys TK a bearded dragon and fears it may be a parting gift (Coda for 4x12). I took a long lunchbreak, wrote this, and posted it the same day. I've never done that before or since, and I honestly don't understand what happened to me...

I'm a little late for this so apologies if you've already done it and I haven't seen, but if not and you want to share, I'm tagging: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @goodways @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @chaotictarlos @theghostofashton @bubblesandroses8 @noxsoulmate @freneticfloetry @taralaurel @never-blooms @ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[oopsallmabari]

✨Self-Rec Tag Game ✨

tagged by @gaysebastianvael! very cool tag game, prob should take time to appreciate my own work more often lol

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

Something you absolutely adore

ooh i think it'd have to be this pic of daithi--i've done a few portraits of him and i like to see how the way i've drawn him has evolved!

2. Something that was challenging to create

digital painting continues to be a bit of a bear for me, and i remember plugging away at this for ages. hoping to get better at it in the future :)

3. Something that makes you laugh/smile

muppet dorian is probably the silliest thing i have ever made. but i like him. still have plans to mupp-ify other DA characters. someday.

4. Something that surprised you

this one is kind of difficult! but i guess i'll link to my longfic with arya for this one, which i can't remember if i ever actually linked to on this blog lmao. it's surprising to me that anyone has read it if i'm honest and that i wrote that many words. it's also on hiatus rn as i am. fully rewriting it (snippet of the rewritten opening under the cut at the end).

5. Something you want other people to see

time to plug some of my oc work! zeke is an oc of mine from a personal WIP--currently in the very early drafting stages of an interactive fiction of which she is a cast member. she's one of my oldest ocs so i like to make ppl look at her. (this counts as a fanwork! i can be a fan of my own work!)

tagging w no pressure (sorry if you've already been tagged before lol)! @creaking-skull, @triflingshadows, @dreadfutures, @lavellander, @glamfellens

and a preview of frostbitten blades, the redux:

“You don’t have to leave.”

Malik says it with that kind uncertainty she’s grown so accustomed to, that she expects of an older brother. Sturdy yet soft, truthful and earnest, but tapering off at the ends. They’re seven years apart. It’s a lifetime. They’ve been worlds apart for so long.

He’s grown into this role so well, the thin, gold circlet nestled comfortably within his dreadlocked hair, the purple embroidered jacket shaped perfectly around his broad shoulders. All of his fineries are well-tailored. He must actually sit for his measurements now. He didn’t as a boy. Wouldn’t sit still unless Mother was hovering behind him. Now—he waits, holds meetings at the head of the table with quiet assurance, smiles warmly at visitors.

Currently, the smile is small, but it’s there, rounding his chestnut-brown cheeks. He doesn’t want to force it—she’s barely been at the estate, at his home, for a week. It’s the longest they’ve seen each other in seventeen years. She almost left earlier, without a word of goodbye, until the twins snuck up on her. Malik knows this. He hasn’t said anything, mercifully.

She’s so bad at coming up with responses lately. Malik knows this.

[therulerofallpotatos]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Curious what ur fav fics of yours are? 👀🖤🩷

Like ever?Like my five favorite fics of ever? oh boy ok lemme pull up the list

Well immediately I Bit Him so He's Mine is coming to the top of the list which isn't even done yet but is sitting rn at around 40k, is my longest project ever and officially novel length. Between the writing a murder mystery, writing a low fantasy adventure, the gothic/fairytail romance, the hyde wednesday/hyde tyler scenes, the subplots, and the fact that I'm not able nor do i want to rely on psychic visions for information, this is the most involved and exciting project I've probably ever done. Before Wednesday, I hadn't really sat down and written a proper drawn out mystery plot and this is the first where there were no psychic visions either. It's also officially longer than my Absolution novella which is not on this list just because that fic was one of the first I ever wrote and it shows. (though it is special to me because of that)

2. I'll add Wandering in the Dark because it was born of a prompt that my hs senior english teacher gave the class for a project that'd been anticipated (or dreaded depending on who you were) all semester. Basically, we all got to draw a disease (chronic I believe or at least mine was) out of a hat and then just do whatever we wanted writing a story with it. He gave me complete creative freedom. I wrote steter fanfiction which is also why it reads for someone who isn't familiar with teen wolf. I got an A.

3. My Lost Soul (Lead Me to Redemption) was my baby for a long time. It was one of the first pieces I ever wrote in a creative writing class which I then rewrote as sterek fanficiton and evolved into a whole series with Derek, Stiles, and Peter becoming the Hale Pack again. My writing style and quality drastically changes from beginning to end and there's something special about getting to see that firsthand reading this series. I'm sure it would only have continued if I hadn't lost steam for the story.

4. This is not a fair game. I'm not even left my teen wolf list yet.

4. I suppose I'll put Have You Seen Me? because idk I just like it. I like it a lot. I like exploring Tyler immediately after the cave. I like the title and the way the summary is just Tyler's wanted poster. I like how it leads into Wednesday going to Nevermore and I like how they interact with each other and Tyler being an Addams

5. Hold Me Close and it's sister fic Pin Me Down (to be posted) will have to take place as well. I'm counting both because I love them for the same reason. I've been writing officially since 2016 and for at least as long I always knew that I would eventually write my own fuck or die/sex pollen fic and that I'd take the approach of approaching the potential trauma and very present vulnerability present in the premise. Plus, the sex marathon aspect was a good writing challenge to stretch out the sex scene long enough to actually feel like a marathon reading it. Hold Me Close's sex scene was around 3000 words. Pin Me Down's sex scene is 3455 words long.

Honorable mentions for an abandoned multi-chap from high school that I hadn't thought about for years solely because I recently went to a convention where I met a lot of local authors and talked their ears off about writing and the genres we do and our current projects (and I had plenty due to wyler week and the bingo) and this one author recognized my ao3 alias and loved the fic in question. Mark Me an Angel for the hannigram fandom which also is a good example of why you plan a basic plot/direction when you start something.

[captain-aralias]

My Year in Review (but i cut the giant gif)

summary is - my top posts this year are recs, discord links .... and a pregnancy announcement!

I posted 1,105 times in 2022

165 posts created (15%)

940 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@facewithoutheart

@cutestkilla

@artsyunderstudy

@letraspal

@forabeatofadrum

I tagged 908 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#carry on - 700 posts

#carry on fanart - 277 posts

#fic rec - 235 posts

#my content - 177 posts

#unintended - 38 posts

#snowbaz - 36 posts

#restoration ecology - 31 posts

#simon snow series - 22 posts

#doctor who - 16 posts

#sort of - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the ones i'm disappointed with didn't quite sell the premise or i had to write them too hurriedly or forgot to bring something in

I sent 3 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

life update

i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉

due date: 30th may

bit more info below the cut

i thought about making a lulzy WIP wednesday post (aka, "here is what i'm working on") along these lines a few times, but i didn't want to tag anyone into personal stuff they didn't necessarily want, and also i thought i miscarried almost immediately and that started me down a spiral of anxiety, so now it's not so funny. but anyway - i thought today would be a good day to tell people, since we're out the first trimester.

how:

IVF - worked first time

my partner's egg

donor sperm - man it's weird buying sperm, particularly from america, although i only browsed. i bought from the UK. i do know men i could have asked, but in the end i thought... i dont know anyone well enough i'd want to have a child with them. at all.

happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.

how am i?

fine apart from the anxiety!

my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some

i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.

my partner's therapist said (to her) not to make big life decisions so soon after the death of my mum/her dad on the same day about a year ago, but we are both in our mid thirties and at our most financially viable, so - hopefully it's fine.

how is baby?

probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc

still haven't managed to do the test that tells you the likiehood of Downs etc, though, as the baby has refused to move into a position where they could get a good measurement. we may know towards the end of december - so that is making me More Anxious, but it's still fine

why am i putting this on the internet?

a few reasons.

firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.

but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.

AND ... i don't know what the next six months, and then the next.......... twenty years will be like. i'm hoping to write a few more Carry On things before the baby arrives, assuming the second trimester is less tiring (which seems likely so far), but who knows? and probably less after that. BUT WHO KNOWS.

my partner is also a fandom person. i have nine(ish) months of maternity leave (thanks, britain!) and she'll be around for most of that too, thanks to working from home. so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i'll be writing a bunch of extremely realistic babyfics or something. probably not, but you never know.

anyway!

that's the news.

it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.

i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!

98 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

Some 'Carry On' Recommendations for your Tuesday

here's some things i've been reading recently that i think other people should read too! thanks for tagging me @messofthejess!

N.B. this list is super long and also only scratching the surface... i should rec more often, anyway - if you see this, please read some of the things as you will really like them, and give the authors some love!

Teen or under

The Plum Tree by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, under 1k

baz and malcolm talk (without exactly talking) about how baz is a vampire. great characterisation, really nice contained and different piece.

Eight Times Simon Couldn’t Stop Himself by knightinbrightfeathers, RainyForecast, steadfastasthouart (steadfastest) - 12k

just realised this has three authors! really brilliant fic, fangirl-era - but super worth reading, as long as you're ok with simon being smart, and also knowing he's into boys before he kisses baz. (why wouldn't you be?). this is all about simon and baz pranking each other/being generally awful, until they aren't - you see their relationship changing and simon gradually realising what he feels about baz, then there's a telepathy scene! this was recced recently in the discord* so probably lots of people have now read it, but it's seriously good!

Golden Boy by @spockzilla, 9k

magickal mishap, simon turns everything to gold by mistake! this author (also responsible for the fic where simon turns into a frog) is really good at making the silliest things sexy, and sexy things silly - which is a good thing.

end to begin by @tea-brigade, 4k

canon AU, simon and baz are exes, but simon needs baz's help..... really lovely, unusual, interesting and moving fic! i really like how it uses this inciting incident to let baz be kind (that's for me, the most important thing about them being together) and encourage the two of them to have the conversation they should have had a long time ago. works so well.

Trapped by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe based on art by taken_aback_by_Tuesdays,

penny/shepard get together, no snowbaz involved! this fic is criminally unread, because ... it's not snowbaz, but it is BRILLIANT. amazing penny and shepard characterisation, and it's so fun to see them get together a different way... that also involves her saving him.

Explicit

This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart with art by @tea-brigade, 11/17 chapters, 40k, WIP (no sex yet, RIP)

obsessed with this fic right now! band AU where simon and baz briefly bacame friends at school, then became incredibly successful musicians before the band broke up... because simon and baz couldn't communicate about how they fancied each other. it's great! fun, funny, social media stuff, a malcolm trying to be down with the kids, texas references, shepard being a reporter - highly recommend.

Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice with art by @cutestkilla, 5k, brobelove not snowbaz

omg, this fic is so good. seriously - even if you dont think you're into brobelove, you should read this, as i dont believe you could like snowbaz if you don't like the competitive snarky action this fic has in spades, but also if you like brobelove, my god you should read this! such amazing characterisation and super sexy.

Here in the Dark by @artsyunderstudy, 5k

love this middle of the night sex - i'm repeating my comment here, but the whole mood is perfect: confused and dreamlike, you're locked out of baz's POV, entirely in simon's and it works so well for the mood. plus, it's sexy AND there's amazing art to go with it.

Two Heads Are Better Than One by @skeedelvee, 22k

omg, i am obsessed with this fic. it's so deeply strange (simon and baz share the same body, due to - magickal mishap!) AND SO AMAZING AND SEXY. and also romantic and fun. proper enemies to to friends to lovers action, a fantastic scene where simon and baz watch baz's vanilla porn, a bit where they defeat a unicorn together, sex as one person, sex as two people - it's got it all.

*if you're not in this discord, but you'd like to be, this is the link to get in: https://discord.gg/FJ8meVhr

that's enough - i've got more i should rec, but i'll do another post later.

101 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

Thought it was time to bring this back. 

Discord is a chat room. This is a chat room about Carry On, etc.

Not the only one, but one of the biggest (there are 200+ members). The Discord has:

a strong, active moderator team, who make sure this is a safe space (not me, I’m just a helper)

adult-only areas, and a policy that NSFW stuff is not shared outside of these spaces

places to talk about and share fic, art, meta, fan theories, memes, etc

virtual outings, like fic readings

custom emojis

It’s very nice.

This link will get you in: https://discord.gg/8yZvQK7k 

(it expires in 7 days, so 6th May 2022, but feel free to message me if you see this post and the link’s expired)

You will have to introduce yourself before you’re given access to the server proper, although you don’t have to talk after that, if you don’t want to. You can just quietly vibe. Alternately, you can talk a lot and that’s fine too!

You will also have to sign up to the code of conduct.

If you have trouble getting in/speaking once you’re in, it could be because you haven’t verified your Discord account. There’s a clear prompt on desktop, but not on mobile.

I can confirm I checked with the mod team before making this post. It’s kosher.

Please share this post, if you want to.

108 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#2

AU - Canon Divergence Recs

i couldn't think of a good title for this, but basically there have been a few fics recently where i thought: not only is this a great fic, but also this is something i think we could see more in other fics.

basically, they all do a thing that is a good tool to make new fics with. and they're all good fun. here we go:

Eighth Year AU but with Mage-mission

Shiver (rated E) by @facewithoutheart and, yeah, ok me - but not really

for me, an eighth year fic should be about baz being gone/the coffin, magic sharing (with simon and baz much more likely, therefore to be interested in each other quicker), or the plot events of carry on - this one does that. BUT ALSO the plot is driven by simon going on a quest for the mage, which is a classic seventh year trope. cool! (and not my idea)

Post Watford Get Together with Magickal Mishap

Come As You Are (rated E) by @facewithoutheart who sponsored this video

how genius is this? they've left watford, so they've both moved on but magickal mishap happens to simon and that's the plot instigator. simple, but genius.

Genuine new past for Simon and Baz, makes them the same but different

I Know What You Are (rated T) by @martsonmars

ok, other fics have done this too, but i really like this fic and i think the way it does this thing is perfect. simon's grown up with the mage and lucy as his parents; baz has been raised by natasha and malcolm. as a result, when we meet them in eighth year they have completely different histories. it's not only the way they interact with each other that's different, they're both much more confident, have different friends. they really are different people, but the same.

Carry On universe but no Watford

Pretty in Pink (rated T) by @arca9

i was re-reading this one (fake dating heist, love it!) the other day and thinking - this is pretty unique! baz and simon work for the coven, but only just met each other when they became partners, there's no watford. but they use the magic system - it's just a really fun view on what's necessary for your AU to work.

112 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Top 10 SnowBaz fics

I was talking earlier about how 'What's Left' is one of my top 10, which it is. obviously that made me think.... what are the rest?

i think it's probably instinctively these, these ones that influence me the most/that i've re-read the most/that i most wish i could have written, although i had to delete some real favs to get down to 10, and limited myself to one fic per author. and excluded 'your bloodied mouth' as it ain't finished, but kept 'northern downpour' as i believe it will be.

almost all canon divergence, most have plot and sex.

5 Times They Half-Arsed It by @krisrix

Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl

Golden Years by @basic-banshee

keep on keeping on by waveydnp

In A Bind by @im-gettingby

Northern Downpour by @scone-lover

Remember the Magic by @sharkmartini

There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath

What's Left by @cutestkilla

When the Bells Ring by @phoxphyre

360 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Hello Anon I am running out of fics to recommend. I've done some here and here but I will try one more time.

1) The Pledge: But mostly just for the first chapter- I'll probably delete the the other two and let it be a standalone one-shot. It's a Linzin fic where Tenzin basically screws up royally and let's his Linzin show instead of Pemzin lol. I think just for the way the fic flows, it deserves to be on this list.

2) Yearbooks: A rare, rare pairing of Lin Beifong and Hiroshi Sato- the two people in their cohort with last names. It is the last day of their preppy high school before Lin joins the police academy and Hiroshi joins his father in business. This is based one of my OG favorite ships- before I ever knew what it meant to ship two people. If you get it, I'll grant you wish.

3) Great Balls of Fire: Drunken night- Bumi plays the piano- Iroh dishes on the commander- Lin has some serious thinking to do. That's all I'm going to say. The fic/title is inspired by this scene.

4) Ghost of Weddings: Probably one of my longest oneshots ever. It's Lin x Zolt with Lin processing all her past relationships at Varrick's wedding with the help of a spirit who needs Lin to sort her romantic life out to maintain balance in the universe. High stakes yet, perfect fruit.

5) Drizzly Mistakes: It's cutesy Linko one shot with the prompt "keys". There isn't very much to say except that Lin would straight up walk home in the pouring Lin than talk about her romantic life.

Okay phew. I had a hard time coming up with these.