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#this is so stupid im gonna end up deleting it
hismourningflower · 5 months
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i didn’t think i’d ever need reassurances from people who only know my online persona but mooties do yall actually like me
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arsenicflame · 3 days
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so like. things arent as vibratey as they can be. not by a long margin. but also i do have a mild tremor going on, which is.... new.
idk i just feel disjointed and buzzing and like i need to be doing, doing, doing, but nothing im doing is actually checkking the boxes and i dont know what *is* going to wprk. i cant provide the correct input and i cant calm my brain and i need to do fucking something but instead no. buzzing out of my fucking skin
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sapphicdib · 1 year
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emypony · 10 months
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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok mutuals be honest. should i “break up” w my counselor over these texts yes or no
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#purrs#i don’t have the spoons to type much let alone reply to anybody ESPECIALLY not him bc this fucking pissed me off so bad i have been too#angry to reply. like what the fuck is this. im going through a hard time right now so why are you judging me for wanting us to talk about#that instead of me doing your stupid little homework assignment. i just feel so judged by him all the time and i can’t work up the courage#to tell him or end things. but i am actually dreading talking abt this new development / topic w him anyways bc the last time we talked abt#it he judged and pushed me so hard and i got SOOOOO angry but also maybe he was right and just saying thigns i didn’t want to hear and then#his supervisor got sick and he said he had this plan for us to do the erikson thing and we’ve barely started it and i feel so bad bc i#genuinely think it could work but i just don’t mesh well with him. but it’s like i should give it a try and stick it out bc there’s only a f#few months left and what if things get better. and also ihavent given him any indication of how unhappy ive been w him as my counselor and i#don’t want to spring it on him out of nowhere. but no we’ve been working together since October and i don’t feel seen or supported by him at#all an di know i have to leave bc i deserve better but things are so bad rn and my brain has been broken all weekend and i just don’t have t#the strength and idk what to reply or if i should but i think everyone is probably gonna say i need to leave him and i think you’d be right.#delete later#i truly do not have the mental capacity to rn but if u go thru my other purrs posts i talk abt some of the shit he’s done that has just been#building and building and i know i need to do smth about it bc it’s not okay. but im so scared.
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steampoweredskeleton · 9 months
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Ignore
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vse-kar-vem · 6 months
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hihi vent post incoming (tldr im pretty sure everyone hates me and also im gonna fail all my exams)
#first off i did NOT end up studying! probable executive dysfunction went and got me again! i only managed to study a tiny but before and#now im procrastinating. again. killing myself ! 😁 im actually gonna fail rs tomorrow like who CARES about rs ofuhrkdkfkf it's bad. it's so#bad im in the trenches rn .....#i can physically feeling my brain shriveling the longer i spend online maybe if i finish typing i can get it together and start fucking stu#dying!!!!!!#second this whole i keep posting things then immediately getting second thoughts and deleting 😭😭😭 like its so embarrassing on twitter#discord tumblr everything????? can i not talk to people in a calm and measured fashion???? WHY do i keep typos ???? i am so socially inept#it's not even funny. im sooo fucked#maybe i am a teen going through and it's the hormones making me overthjnk everything buttt#i want normal pills!!!! i dont wanna get diagnosed for anything i just wanna try some medication and see if it fixes me !!! please!!!!!!!!#i.actually need to study or im fucked#so#uh#yeah#id much rather fail rs than history cuz i like history so i have to be normal by tomorrow wish me liuck!!!!!!!#ok so maybe this ventpost is not sad and upset more overwhelmed and angy at myself. whatever! I SHOULDNT HAVE WASTED ALL OF LAST NIGHT#DRAWING FUKDHFKDKFK#wish i could just undo today cant lie 😭 taken a WALK at least instead of languishing but now its 10 pm and im running out of time#im continueing to waste time on tumblr ok no. i AM going to study#vee rambles#proofread this .... also typo ridden! im stupid and i cant speak english someone pulverize me !#also my bried venture onto twitter .... disastrous . i think i've turned many people from neutral or even positive about me to firmly#irritated. great! classic me fikejfldlflslmglslf < keysmash of anger
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ibyul · 9 months
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#ew not me finding disgustingly cheesy stuff I wrote#in the DRAFTS of this blog#right infront of my salad#like. a zombie(?) with no heart and a doctor who the zombie goes to once a day to have his heart checked lol#god i gotta delete these i swear#the thought of anyone receiving my laptop if god forbid something happens to me and then reading these is so mortifying to me#i rlly gotta delete these#do you want to hear the menu of these nonsense posts:#1. we got mr. no heart zombie w/ high body temp and his anemic heart doctor#2. miss palace botanist/healer and her annoying student who ends up being the second prince lol#3. cheerful oblivious guy and some one who views him from far as a thorn that causes hemorrhage#i think i just combined all my fears and horrors into dumb tragedies. fears: unwise relationships. the medical field. unrequited love#sorry to 2016-2019-me... i am deleting ur stuff. i mean. im glad u found some place to project your fear and sadness into.#What better coping method than to turn the story of you and your love for science into an unrequited love tragedy and personifying medicine#listing them here as I delete them because. I want to hold on to them for a few more seconds#4. a stupid long poem that makes it sound like I had a secret relationship but in actuality this is abt how in college-#-my physics lab professor used to abandon us in the lab without giving us instructions so we had to spend hours figuring everything out#honestly im gonna let go of these#they're all from a rough time in my life of studying and feeling like a failure and like I couldn't do anything right#there's no use in revisiting them and feeling bad abt it#delete later
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thecherrygod · 1 year
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harrowharkwife · 2 years
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having an ableist #Autism Mommy narcissist for a mother never gets less tiresome/hurtful/infuriating/disappointing/just plan embarrassing, huh?
#will delete later don't rb#im just. sick and fucking tired of getting my feelings hurt#this is why i don't talk about her and this is why i can't handle dwelling on how bad of a mother she is.#it always just ends with me crying and feeling like a pathetic and unwanted and embarrassed little freak#some part of me is stuck being the weird little middle school version of me#who constantly felt sad and jealous and just. sad. whenever i went to friends houses or heard them talk about their moms.#because all my friends moms loved them. and all my friends were best friends with their moms.#and i never got to have that. and i never will. and it makes me so fucking jealous and envious and furious and just. sad#is the word for it really. just sad.#your mom is the one person on earth who's supposed to love you no matter what. and you're bombarded with that message as a kid#so if your mom doesn't love you... what's wrong with you?#i know NOW that that's not how it actually works & that it's not my fault & that it's her problem not mine#but. sometimes one stupid text from her will still just derail my whole day and suddenly I'm 12 years old again.#it is such a lonely and isolating feeling growing up as a girl who isn't best friends with her mom.#some part of me is always going to want to grovel and bend over backwards and disregard all my own emotions just to feel like she loves me.#or hell even LIKES me!#and i know it's not a healthy instinct and its one i need to fight and ignore for my own good. but like.#i just want my mom. :( and i just want her to be proud of me and like spending time with me and care about how i feel.#i want to feel safe going to her for help with things. or even just a hug when I'm sad. but i don't get to have that. and it sucks.#yes i AM watching b*ck b*gins what about it. anyway. sorry for having mommy issues on main. gonna go dig a hole and die in it now#the eternal struggle between standing up for myself vs jumping thru the hoops required to make my mom give a shit about me
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idanceuntilidie · 9 months
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I have no idea- I was thinking about this yesterday and today in the end I wrote it
chaos chaos enjoy and Im gonna go shower and mir mir don’t commit crimes when Im gone
Tw: slightly suggestive themes, yandere behaviour
Yandere classmate x male reader
Requests are open.
You know where to find me And I know where to look
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They boy hummed, his fingers gently playing with your hair. It felt like the finest silk; just like he imagined. A small smile appears on his face,
You were so blissfully unaware, sleeping like a baby and missing out on lectures again.
He twirled the lock of your hair before cutting it off. His smile widened, admiring it, another part of you that he can add to his collection. 
He never thought that he could find a boy attractive, but here you were, blissfully unaware of him watching your every step.
You stole his heart, ripped it out of his chest. Still beating, for you.
He laid his head next to yours, and closed his eyes. Your scent enveloping his senses as he slowly drifted to sleep. 
The bell rang.
You sit up, mind still half awake, you stretch. 
Your eyes widen as you realize the class is already empty. You quickly stand up, swaying a bit due to not being fully awake. Wiping off the droll, you pack your things, you hear a soft click and when you look up you see one of the most popular boys standing in front of you, phone in hand and smiling. His pale blue eyes sparkled with mischief.
“Hi hun! Look how cute you look in this photo!”
He chirped, waving the phone in front of you.
He fucking took a photo of you.
„Celeste delete it!” You desperately lunged at him to get his phone, you failed. He stumbled back and thanks to stupid luck he dodged your attack.
Celeste giggled like a child, correcting his sweater.
“Celeste I beg you! Fucking delete the photo” you begged, eyes glossing over.
“Only if you give me a biiiig kiss” he clapped his hands.
Your face twisted into a grimace, you tried to see if the two of his friends came with him to record this. You couldn’t really see them, but it didn’t mean that they couldn’t be here.
“.. Go fuck yourself.”
You grabbed your bag and rushed out of the classroom.
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Celeste huffed as he watched you run out of the classroom.
He sat on the nearby desk, unlocking his phone.
Celeste scrolled through the new photos of you. His pale face dusting with pink, a shy smile formed on his lips. Too easy. He added the photos to his wide collection.
Scrolling through the photos, his smile widens. Some of them are blurry but Celeste doesn’t mind, every photo he takes of you is perfect in every aspect.
He sighs, he wanted that kiss. He bought the cherry flavored chapstick for nothing.
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You walked through the halls and checked your bag. Few things were missing from your bag, you must have forgotten them somewhere.
You lost too much of your stuff already, you can’t believe you started being so forgetful.
At least Celeste didn’t follow you.
Finally you found a safe corner and sat down. 
Running your hand through your hair you notice some of it is shorter than the rest.
You curse under your breath. Goddamn it, you feel like you are in elementary school all over again.
“Y/N?”
“Marceline oh my God thank Gods you are here I-“
„Listen, we can’t be friends anymore.” she interrupts you.
You look at her in disbelief. She didn’t even look at you, she played with her fingers. Her back hair covered her face and you couldn’t make out the expression.
Your mouth opened, to say something, anything but nothing came out. You felt hurt, betrayed. Marceline didn’t budge for a bit, you could feel her stare on you. Unfocused, hot and burning.
You felt dizzy, this was too much.
Marceline, seeing you had nothing to say, muttered a small apology and walked away.
You didn’t even have the energy to go and run after her.
You felt tears build up. You sniffed and hid your face in your arms.
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Celeste grabbed Marceline's hand, she looked at him with pure hatred.
“He is crying because of you”
“Hm, no, he is crying because of you, because you wanted to save your ass” he says, giving him a painfully obvious fake smile.
Marceline felt her blood boil. She roughly pulled her hand away and before storming off he heard her yell insults at him.
Celeste smiled and waved at her, he pulled out his phone and stopped the recording. He will edit it later, it could be useful.
He slowly walked to you, you were crying eh? Man, he needs to take some photos! And God, if he could find your used tissues. Celeste felt his face get hot at the mere thought.
When he finally reached you, he thanked whatever was out there. That you didn’t notice him.
You were such a mess, sitting on the floor sobbing. It was all thanks to him, he smiled widely. His breath had gotten heavy, he rubbed his thighs together and took out his phone. Time for a few new photos.
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ladygoth · 10 months
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Gotta keep this short n quick im sorry needa rush to somewhere
Simon makes her jealous in some kinda way, and she feels jealous at first, but then her insecurities get the best of her and Simon not saying i love you to her sends her to the past.
I don’t know how was this lol but anything angsty would be cooollll love youuu
if you think i've deleted this i havent i was just wondering what would be the proper plot lmao. thank you for this ask
♱⋆♱ ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇꜱ ♱⋆♱
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mdni very 18+ angst, insecure!reader, annoying!ghost, make-up/surprise sex, oral!femreceiving, rough sex and daddy kink
simon ghost riley.
summary - ghost makes you feel insecure about your relationship with him but he makes it up to you in the end.
specifically influenced by the weeknd - wicked games.
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You thought that you guys were past this, the petty moments and disputes, but you had an idea that there’d be a time where Ghost would want to mentally stab back, have you jealous with the way you had him jealous, specifically with Mike.
Though did he have to do it when things were getting better between the both of you?
Did he have to flirt in front of you? With a waitress in the restaurant, he took you out in? Between the both of you, you had always imagined Ghost to be the more mature and cultivated individual, but you been aware that life was always full with surprises.
During the drive back to the apartment building, you had been silent, arms crossed and leaning opposite away from him while he tried to lay his hand against your thigh, he did speak about how pretty you looked, how the dress you wore was so appealing on you and he couldn’t wait to take it off you, but your lack of response had him aware that you had been put off.
“Baby?” He called, his tone light but curious and you had wondered if he had pretended to act stupid, to hear from you why you had been upset. “What’s wrong?”
Unresponsive, you had looked down at your knees, worried that if you had uttered a word you’d tremble into tears.
“Doll?” He called, “if you’re upset, I’d like for you to communicate.” He said and nervous, you had licked your lower lips. “Things just started to get good again luvie.”
“Why did you have to flirt with her?” You asked.
“I wasn’t flirting with her, was jus’ being kind,” he shrugged and dissatisfied you had furrowed your eyebrows, your face screwed and cattish. Aware of the malevolent look on your face, he had softly sighed. “She complimented me and I complimented her back, nothing to over-think about.”
Jaw clenched, you had looked through the glass window, focusing on the night lights that his car had driven pass by. “Baby,” he muttered and with a catty spirit you had picked up your phone and scrolled through the endless social media algorithm you had found yourself in. “We need to speak to each other---”
“Well, I don’t want to, just drive back home,” you muttered and defeated Ghost had remained reticent as he resumed driving back to the apartment building. Once the both of you had arrived, you had quickly let yourself out of the vehicle, ignoring his calls, you had entered the building, briefly greeting the receptionist as you had entered the elevator, though Ghost had been quick, catching up after you, which had been unfortunate, for you.
“Don’t be childish about this, love,” he said, his voice rough before pressing the level button both your homes had been in. “You coming home with me? Or is it yours we’re gonna be in.”
Amused, you had briefly looked up at him, it was as if he had taken mission to piss you off. “I want to be on my own.”
“Jesus Christ,” he sighed. “A’right, I’m sorry for complimenting the waitress, happy?” He asked as the elevator doors opened, a ding echoing in the comfortable spaced box. You had stepped out of the elevator, arms crossed as you scurried to your front door, feeling Ghost’s figure shadow after you. “Doll,” he breathed. “I don’t want to go sleep knowing you’re upset with me,” he shared.
“Isn’t it something you’re used to?” You spat as you pushed your key in.
“Not something I want to live through again,” he spoke while following you in. “I’ll sleep in the other room if you want.”
“What I want, is for you to not be here,” you snapped. “But it’s not like you ever listen to me.”
“If I listened to you love, that would lead me to standing out your door the next day because you won’t open it, you would probably change the locks too.”
You clicked your tongue in annoyance, he was somewhat correct. “Okay,” you huffed as you pulled off your coat. “I’ll be going to bed, don’t come into my room.” You said and without countering with a comment, Ghost had sighed before leading himself into the guest room.
♱⋆♱
You weren’t able to sleep, and you hated the fact that you would’ve been able to sleep if Ghost had been beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist, engulfing you with his heat while his chin rests against the top of your head, his light snores lulling you into a deep slumber. Then you’d wake up to him making breakfast, kissing you once you make it to him and he’d do that thing where he squeezes your ass before bringing you into a deep kiss.
You had sighed as you had dragged yourself to the open kitchen, the lamp had still been on and you had checked the time and had noticed it had barely been two hours since you had gone to sleep. and the ambience had been somewhat comforting, thus you had tasked yourself to drink water and to have a little snack before returning to bed, but you couldn’t help be but absorbed and consumed by the endless thoughts that had wheeled in your head.
Were you over-reacting? Were you being insecure, the fact that Ghost had never told you that had loved you had swamped and deluged your security. The two of you were able to make it past the three-month period but you couldn’t help but feel like Ghost would find someone better than you, someone he would tell “I love you,” to.
Maybe it was just as simple as that, Ghost didn’t love you, perhaps he was just infatuated with you, and had found himself to be sexual and erotic whenever he had been around you, and you had deciphered that lust to be, love.
“Couldn’t sleep?” God.
You had jumped, your hand pressed against your chest as you had gasped, he wasn’t wearing his mask, handsome and beautiful as ever he had leaned against the sharp corner of a wall, arms crossed, face still but a bit humoured. With your eyebrows furrowed, you had sat yourself down on one of the island seats, close to the lamp that had dimply illuminated the space.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” You asked.
“Why aren’t you, love?” He countered and with your lips pressed into a thin line, you had adjusted your sight forward. “You’re crying.”
What?
Quickly, you had wiped your tears once you had settled down your glass, aware that he had moved closer to you, sitting himself next to you, “Babydoll,” he muttered and with a short hum, you barely glanced his way. “Should’ve known how much it would’ve affected you.”
“Okay.”
“I care for you a lot, you know that?”
“Yeah.”
You were unsure.
“I was being stupid.”
“Yeah.”
He paused. “You don’t want to talk to me?”
“Yeah.”
“Goodnight then,” he muttered as he left the seat he previously sat on, leaving to the guest room, he took one last look, expecting for a goodnight but there had been nothing said from you.
♱⋆♱
Eyes blurred, you had gently gripped the sheets as you had felt a strong commodity continuously part the hearth between your legs, a light confused moan echoing in your room transforming into strong whiny groan once you understood what had been happening.
“Ghost,” you whimpered, your hand now dug into his short hair, his mouth buried between your cunt as he greedily licked between your skin, the flat texture of his tongue teasing against your pearl repeatedly, playing and sucking with the bud hungrily, he had moaned, standing on his knees as continued to devour your nectar. “Fuck!” You cried out, “fuck you…” you had trembled as your eyes rolled back in pleasure, feeling the warm palm of his hands stroke towards the back of your knees, pushing your leg down to spread your pussy more.
His eyes staring at you, erotic with mischief he had commenced to flick the tip of his tongue against your sex, the lower body of his stiff, as he could feel himself want to cum. “Shit,” he moaned as he humped his covered cock against your bed, “so good princess,” he whined, his moan tight as his load seeped in his clothes, proudly cumming to the taste and scent of your ambrosia, he had now began to selfishly suck on your heat, his ears flooded with the high moans from you, your legs trembling at the approaching orgasm, you had leaned your head back, your sex hot and wet at the sight of your boyfriend’s handsome face go down on you.
Your cries echoing into a brewing shameful cry, your toes curling as your nectar gushed and heaved against his face, Simon, desperate to catch as much of your eject with his mouth, his opening slurping with the effect of your sweet expel as your hand had possessively still been at the top of his head, your eyes blurry with erotic tears once he had pulled away from you, once more, you had noted how he had cummed himself, an arrogant smile laced on your face as you had watched him gravely pull down his pants, aware that he had not worn boxers, the large cock heaved out of his clothes.
Red and angry, you had viewed the fierce veins that had been wrapped around his cock boldly stand out, his length throbbing in desire of your wetness and hearth. “Oh, Babydoll,” he lightly whined, hovering over you before he had kissed you, the tip of his cock shadowing against your wet opening, his lips moving to your jaw before sliding himself inside of you, your insides shifting and spreading due to his size and as kickback your mouth had opened and loudly moaned.
He didn’t take long before adjusting into a quick pace, formed in his favourite position, the mating press, you had felt your sex grip tightly around him once you felt his tip sweep against your cervix, his face focused and lustful he resumed on adjusting his hips backwards and forwards, his veiny cocky kissing the soft walls of your heat that had possessively wrapped around him, had influenced him to push his size deeper into your body, “Fit just for me,” he moaned, “so perfect,” he whined as he continued to buck his hips forward.
“Just for you,” you moaned, “I’m just for you,” you cried out, overwhelmed by his size you had brought your nails against his bare back, digging them into his skin, marking his body with your digits---you had frantically pulled your head back, his sac smacking against your ass while the length of his shaft dug deeper than the previous push.
Your lips had trembled. “Daddy!” You cried out, drowned by your pleasure you had been unaware of the bulge print that had stuck out from your stomach, Ghost prideful of his cock fitting in your tight cunt had resumed on abusing the spongy button within your sex with the head of his member, your moans twirling higher every second while the friction had moved your body to move on its own.
“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for me,” he muttered. “So tight and wet,” he said before he had bit his lips, his thrusts angry and hungry, racing for his climax the man had continued to buck his hips forward, “imma fill you up with my cum,” he whined, “belly swollen,” he desperately whispered, “All because of me, such a good girl, my little princess.”
His obsessive comments whispered into your ear, egging you into dishevelled state, a pinch feeling gathering around your sex before your walls continuously throbbed around him. “Cum for me,” he commanded. “Cum for your daddy, show me I’m yours, I can only make you feel this good, only me,” he said and with your eyes almost closed, you had desperately nodded your head, obedient as hot tears trickled down your skin while your hot cum laced around his width.
 “Good girl,” he cooed before kissing you once more, his length digging deeper into your sex as his sac had swelled, frantic to cum inside you the man had continued to push himself, the wetness of both your sexes echoing inside of your room just as he cummed inside of you, his hot load seeping deep inside, coating your walls and cervix with his nectar as he released one tight grunt. “There you go,” he whispered before pulling out of you.
Exhausted you had heavily breathed, eyes almost shut you could feel Ghost swipe his thumb against your lower lip. “Still mad at me?” He asked.
“No,” you replied.
“Good girl.”
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a compilation of what i think is ghost's favourite position
pussy eating reference :)) and if it doesnt work use vpn
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1427 · 7 months
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 1)
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Daryl Dixon x OFC
The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her. Right?
Chapt. Setting: Atlanta camp
Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, season 1 Daryl, he’s not nice in this, probably won’t be for a while. 
Word count: 1600 
A/N : (aka authors warning) this is written in Daryl’s POV soOo idk. Probably not everyone’s bag. Maybe it’s no one’s bag. These first three chapters are kinda rough and I’m sorry but I can only proofread my own stuff so many times before I either post it or delete it forever.
masterlist
17+ mdni for the whole story
After stringin’ a few squirrels for dinner I figure I should get back to camp. ‘m breakin’ through the tree line, and that’s when I see her.  Beatle. Beatle, for the first time in… shit, who knows? Definitely years, I’m not exactly sure how many. Beatle, just fuckin’ sittin’ at my fire. Like somehow she knew it was mine and showed up just to take it from me. Just sittin’. Smile on her face like she belongs there. She doesn’t. She doesn’t belong at this camp, with these people. Shit, Beatle doesn’t even belong alive if I’m bein’ honest. 
No one in this fuckin’ camp can hunt worth a damn.  They’re gonna expect me to feed ‘em, ain’t they? Eventually. Eventually the food’ll run out and it’ll just be me feedin’ fuckin’ everyone. M’not doin’ it. I’m not doin’ shit for ‘em anymore. Why should I? Left my brother on that roof to rot. Naw, I’ll hunt for my damn self. Don’t even know why I’m still fuckin’ here. Should be out findin’ Merle. Honestly, don’t even know why I’m not.
Even before the dead started walkin’. I figured her days were numbered since the first fuckin’ time I met ‘er. Drunk as hell, eyes glassy, loud annoying voice barkin’ like a damn dog. Just yap yap yappin at Merle and me, tits half hangin’ outta her bikini top. Ones cinched in the string like she’d just forgotten to take ‘em out from her last time around the bar. A dumb drunk bitch, Beatle. Stupid fuckin’ stripper name. Who’s dick gets hard over a stripper named Beatle? 
I watch her, just for a second, checkin’ to see if maybe it’s not really her. But it is. ‘Course it fuckin’ is. 
Shane’s the first person I see that’s not doin’ anything, going through some clothes in a duffel bag in the back of a van, figure he might know, “Where the fuck did she come from?” Pointing toward Beatle, her back to us, fifty yards away. Stupid purple hair blowing all over the damn place. 
Shane looks to see who I’m pointing at, but who the fuck else is new at camp? His eyes finally land on Beatle before looking back at me like he’s trying to fight the smile on his damn face, “Why? You interested?”
I’m tryin’ not to lose my shit that she’s even fuckin’ here. “Nah…” I shake my head, “I know ‘er.”
Shane looks up, surprised maybe, and then not. Looking from Beatle back to me again, eyeing us up. “Yeah, makes sense.” 
I squint back at ‘im, “S’that supposed ta mean?” 
He shrugs, making a face, before smiling again, folding another shirt into his pack, “Just that you look like you might know eachother.” He doesn’t say more but I know what he’s not sayin. “Is all.” He adds on the end just to reiterate. 
He means we’re both fuckin redneck trash to anyone who looks at us. I look back over at her, startin’ to get real mad at this jarhead dickhead. Not for her or nothin’. Even if he’s right, he don’t gotta say it. Or maybe it was the way he said it. Or the way he didn’t say it. Like a fuckin’ pussy. 
A part of me feels like standin’ up for myself. Hell, a part of me feels like stickin’ up for Beatle. But, shit, it’s not even worth it.
I cough up a lougie and spit it close to his foot. “So where’d she come from?” I’m fuckin’ repeating myself. I hate fuckin’ repeating myself. 
“Think she just wandered in. Must’ve been lost in the woods or something. Ask Rick. He seems to know everything.”
Can’t keep myself from crackin’ at his petty comment. Always so fuckin’ loud with his contempt, makin’ the situation obvious to anyone with eyes. Messy. 
I decide I’m gonna ask ‘er. She’s gonna see me eventually. Better I approach her first, right? Don’t need to get football tackled in the middle of doin’ somethin’ else when she sees me for the first time. So I pull out a cigarette and start walkin’ over.
She’s talkin’ to Andrea. She fuckin’ would. Both of them loud dumb bitches. Talking about all the dumb shit they miss since everything’s turned to shit. Not talkin’ about people or nothin’ important. Just bullshit like getting your damn nails done, and eating fuckin’ ice cream. 
“Where’d you fuckin’ come from?” Sayin it louder than I meant. More aggressive than I thought my voice would sound. Usually fuckin’ is, though.  The laughing between Andrea and Beatle stops and they look over at me, just standing there waitin’ for it to register. Waitin’ for Beatles reaction. Starin’ ‘er the fuck down like she doesn’t fuckin’ belong here. She doesn’t. 
Beatles eyes light up, getting up from her chair and runnin’ over to me like she’s never been more excited to see someone in her whole damn life. I try to brace myself, but she still rocks me backward as she jumps on me, “Daryl!” Should have stopped her, could have moved just right out of the way. But nah, I let her. 
I don’t hug her back though, just push her off and let her own feet catch her. Dumb bitch doesn’t know personal boundaries. Her voice so close to my ear, “Damn, don’t look so happy to see me.”
Happy to see her? I’m not. Didn’t think I could be so unhappy to see a familiar face in my whole fuckin’ life. But she wasn’t letting that stop her, never fuckin’ did. “I was lost, found this camp. They said I could stay.” She explains, her voice high and happy and annoying as it ever was. At least she’s not drunk. 
Everyone around the fire had gone back to what they were doing. Not watchin’ us anymore. They could probably see as well as Shane that it was obvious how we knew eachother. Well, maybe not exactly how. But they probably had a good idea. 
I dunno what to say to her explanation, so I don’t say nothin’. And she just stands next to me, too close, clearly not gettin’ the hint that I didn’t really wanna talk to her. Just wanted to know why she was here. Now I know. She wasn’t gettin’ that she could and should just go back to her conversation with Andrea about ice skating, or cocktails, or what the fuck ever. 
“What about you?” Her voice quieter for fuckin’ once. 
I shake my head, blowing smoke out, “Merle and me, met up with everyone...” I don’t feel like explaining it, so I don’t. 
Beatle’s lookin’ up at me, her big eyes all wide and excited like a dumbass deer too stupid to move out of traffic, “Merle’s here?” 
This coil of disgust, I feel it snaring it’s way through my abdomen. Yeah, that’s the feeling Beatle usually gives me. Back like it never fuckin’ left. “Nah, not anymore. Sorry to dry your cunt.” 
Beatle says “Ew” fast. Like she’s so disgusted by my vocabulary. Like she isn’t just as crude, the things I heard that little mouth of hers say. 
“He’s not…” she means dead.
“Nah, hes not dead.” Usually this is where I talk something nice about Merle, about how he’s a tough sunuvabitch or some other shit. But not to Beatle. Beatle already knows, and for some reason talking about Merle with her makes me.. fuck… whatever. 
Glancing over, it looks like Beatle’s finally got the hint that I don’t wanna talk to her. She probably really was excited to see me, and I almost feel bad for a second. Before she puts her grubby fuckin’ hand in my face and asks if she can have a cigarette. Needy fuckin’ bitch. 
I laugh right in her face. At the gall of her. That at the end of it all, of everything; she was still trying to get some fuckin’ handout. “Naw.”
“Oh, come on, Daryl, please? I haven’t had one in days!” As if I give a shit what she has or hasn’t had. Hasn’t seen me in years and wants to ask for favors? 
I keep draggin’ on my cigarette, blowin’ the smoke out, and m’not smiling anymore, “I said naw. I don’t see your tits out, why would I give you anything?” Fuck repeating myself.
“You wanna see my tits?” She says it like it’s actually a question. Like she really fuckin’ believes that I’m askin’. 
“You’re a dumb bitch, Beatle, y’know tha’?” I shake my head at her, laughin’ at her again. She’s fuckin’ ridiculous.  Taking another drag I realize the cig is trash, and I almost throw the butt into the fire but decide to hand it to her instead. 
She takes it, with needy fingers like I knew she fuckin’ would. Trying to hide my smile at how fuckin’ pathetic she always seems to be.  Watching her take my trash like it’s fuckin’ gold. She drags it once, I can smell the filter burning and she throws it in the fire. “Next time maybe you’ll share one with me?” Her voice is so sweet it makes me sick. Like I didn’t just call her a dumb bitch to her face. 
Saccharine and fake, that’s how she’s always been. All her cute little movements and motions, all just tryin’ to work me up so I’ll share my smokes or listen to her dumbass whine about anything and everything. Annoying.
“Prolly not.” And I’m already walking away from the fire. From Beatle. Going back to my tent and praying to god, Jesus Christ, don’t let her follow. 
Chewin’ on what she said. Lost, huh? See? Didn’t even belong alive. 
pt 2
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ganondoodle · 6 months
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so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)
(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)
someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"
so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc
secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)
then theres this reply
astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"
i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders
"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!
and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well
and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this
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rinstaro · 2 years
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attitude
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a/n: this is an ask for twilight that i accidentally deleted lol. this one’s gonna be loooooong. i feel really sick today so sorry if it’s really bad 🫠 not proofread because im ashamed of what ive done
cw: overstim <33, clit slapping, twilight being mean cause you pissed him off, you shouldn’t have bitched at him!! he says mean things in the sweetest tone, he still loves you very much, crying, biting, squirting, he cums in you hnnnnn, reader has a vagina and no pronouns
minors do not interact.
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twilight was at his wits end. he’d come home to a clean house, a lovely dinner, and yet you were no where to be found. when he ventured into your shared bedroom, you were perched on the bed with your nose in a book. twilight got the feeling you weren’t reading, though.
you glanced at him quickly before letting out a small huff. what was that all about, he wondered. “i’m home, doll,” he smiled, reaching a finger out to push your book down. instead you snatched it away from him, causing him to jump back.
“did you eat?” you asked, still not looking at him. he frowned at your strange behavior. he decided to ignore it, maybe you were just really into that book?
“it was amazing, doll. i cleaned up the dishes for you.”
“hm. thanks,” you mumbled, finally setting your book down. twilight thought you were finally giving him some attention, only to watch you climb off the bed and walk towards the door. “i’m gonna fold the laundry.”
“oh, i did that too.” you grit your teeth. of course he did. he was just doing everything but you, huh?
the reason you were upset at him may have been silly, but you couldn’t help it. when you woke up this morning, there was an ache between your legs. you tried to ignore it, but how could you when your lover was right next to you? it was rare that you woke up before him, so you thought you’d use it to your advantage.
you turned over, wrapping your arms around his waist the same way his were currently wrapped around yours. you leaned up a bit, placing soft kisses on his neck at which he stirred slightly. you pressed your almost naked form closer to him, innocent kisses turning into little love bites. soon enough your lover was awake. “mmm, mornin’.”
“g’morning, baby. sleep well?”
“mhm. always do when you’re next ‘ta me. c’mere,” he mumbled, laying on his back and pulling you into his lap. perfect, you thought.
you ran your hands down his chest, your gaze heated. twilight had closed his eyes again, relishing in the feeling of your body heat. you leaned down, lips hovering over his when—
“are ya comin’ with me today?”
“…huh?”
“you said you wanted to come watch me work, right?” he asked, opening his eyes to look at your confused face. you almost couldn’t believe what you were hearing. here you were in all your glory, horny, barely any clothes on, and he was thinking about work?
you pouted, climbing off of him and laying back down, back towards him. “i’m still sleepy. maybe tomorrow,” you mumbled. twilight thought nothing of it, assuming your attitude was due to you being ‘sleepy’.
“alright, darlin, i’ll see you soon.” without a second thought, twilight rose, planting a kiss on your forehead before going to get ready for the day.
yes, you were pissed off because you didn’t get to fuck your husband in the early morning. damn him for being so hardworking.
now you were standing in the door frame looking silly, still scantily clad with a scowl on your face. “thank you,” you hissed. you had no choice but to walk back to the bed, sitting next to him and picking back up your book. twilight frowned. this was getting frustrating.
“whatsa matter, darlin’? you okay?” he asked directly, prying the book out of your hands. you looked appalled at the fact that he dared take it away from you. “i’m fine—“
“no you’re not. tell me. now.”
“excuse me? why do i have to?” you growled, “whatever. go play with your stupid goats.” with that, you stood once more, marching towards the door. before you could even reach for the handle, your lover’s hand was around your neck, chest pressed to your back.
a growl rumbled in his chest, making you freeze on the spot. you could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing, the grip on your neck pinning you in place. “mind sayin’ that again?”you choked back a whimper, slightly shaking your head no. “i d-didnt mean—“
“you didn’t, huh? so why you been so mean since i got here?” he could feel you swallow. when you didn’t respond, twilight took a moment to sniff the air.
right, just like he thought. surely you wouldn’t talk to him like that for no reason. “how ‘bout you go sit your pretty self back on the bed? i’ll make sure that attitude’s dealt with.”
and that’s how you were tied up by your wrists and stripped bare in the span of 15 minutes.
there were bite marks littering your entire body, coloring your skin in different shades of reds, purples and blues. you trembled, tears decorating your lash line already while your lover sat in front of you and spanked your clit.
“can’t even go one day without me touchin’ this cunt? that’s a lil’ pathetic even for you, doll,” twilight hummed, landing another slap on your clit. you cried out, legs twitching in an effort to close. too bad twilight was absolutely fucking massive. “got me a runner, huh? you know that’s not gonna work, darlin’.”
your pussy was sobbing, a damp spot already formed on the sheets. your clit was so sensitive from his spankings and you didn’t think you could take anymore.
“i-i’m sorry, please let me go! i won’t do it anymore!”
“hm? i’m just givin’ ya what you wanted,” he smirked, thumbing at your over sensitive clit. you gasped, legs trying to close again. he never understood why you kept trying to stop him, you craved his touch. how could he deny you what you had been asking for?
“y’know what? i think you even deserve a reward for waiting for so long,” twilight said while lowering himself and pushing your thighs back, not even giving you a moment to brace yourself as his tongue attacked your swollen bud.
you let out a slutty moan, rolling your hips into his mouth. “ahhn, link!–” finally he was giving you what you wanted and more. you couldn’t help but yell his name, eyes rolling back in pure bliss.
even though he was upset with you, twilight only ever wanted to please you. his dick twitched in his pants at every gasp you let out. more, he needed to hear you more. he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking at your gushing cunt. the tears finally started falling as you came abruptly, overwhelmed by his ministrations and your own sensitivity.
you twisted and turned in your restraints when he didn’t stop, drinking your cum like he hasn’t had water in days. “f-fuuuuck! quit it, let go let go!” you cried. he didn’t listen, not even for a second. instead, he dove his tongue even further into your cunt, viciously tongue fucking you towards your second orgasm. your legs shook in his grasp.
“please please i’m sorry! n-no, no more! too much!” twilight laughed into your cunt at your cries. where’d his tough little darling go? you had only cum once and he was far from done with you.
he kept tongue fucking you until he could feel you cum again, creaming all over his face. he sucked your poor pussy til there was nothing left, pulling away from your clit with a ‘pop’. you continued to shake, eyes squeezed shut. twilight ran his hands up and down your body, massaging the tense muscles. he didn’t need you cramping, he still hadn’t fucked you full of cum.
he gave you a minute before he spoke. “you said you’re sorry?” “mhm,” you whimpered in response. he smiled softly, grabbing your chin and kissing you deeply so you could taste yourself on his tongue. “how you gonna make it up to me? you thought i’d let ya off that easy, brat?” you flinched at his words. his tone was sinister, holding promises that tonight would not end well for you.
“y’know, i was thinkin’ ‘bout you all day. your pretty face never leaves my mind,” he spoke quietly. “neither does that pretty cunt. thought about how my sweet darling feels so good when i fuck them. after all, don’t i deserve something for dealin’ with that nasty attitude of yours?”
as mean as he sounded, he was testing you. seeing if you wanted to stop. after all of that? fuck no. you needed him to batter your pussy til it was sore. you whimpered once more as you nodded, which made your lover laugh.
“there’s my good doll. just needed me to take care of you, right? then you’ll stop all that bitchin’?”
he finally stripped himself of his clothing, making you drool at the sight of him. you squirmed once more, whining at him. “liiiiiiink!” his dick throbbed painfully at the sound of his name coming from you. “please lemme go, i wanna hold you too.”
you’re so damn cute. how could he say no to such a precious request? he was gonna destroy you.
twilight untied the rope binding your wrists, sighing dreamily when your arms wrapped around his neck. maybe he should let you get this needy more often.
“you ready, darlin’?”
“y-yes, please give it to me,” you whispered, looking him right in the eyes. he could’ve came right then and there.
slowly, he pushed his cock into you, the stretch making you hiss. it felt like he was splitting you open every time and you adored it. a broken moan left your throat, toes curling so hard it hurt. twilight was no better off, shuddering when his hips met yours.
“oh my— fuck, move!” you yelped. he started at an easy pace, letting you get used to his size. your eyes rolled into the back of your head, the pleasure sending you into a frenzy. hell, twilight could even feel you trying to fuck him back, your hips chasing his whenever he pulled back.
“that’s it, fuck, let me feel you,” he growled, gradually increasing his pace. your cunt was so wet, clenching around him so hard, he felt like he was in heaven.
“my p-precious darlin’ was just waitin’ for me, huh? needed me to bury my cock in ya? ‘s that all?”
“yes! yesyesyes, please! i love you so much, please!”
twilights pace stuttered, a choked groan tumbling out of his mouth. “i love you, too. gonna make me cum.” you were about to cum yourself, thighs shaking violently. you pulled him into a searing kiss that sent both of you over the edge. you were cumming so hard you couldn’t breathe, cunt squirting all over your husband and yourself. he moaned loudly, thrusts slowing but never stopping as he fucked his cum into you.
you started growing sensitive once more, begging him to stop, to take a break. but he couldn’t, not when you missed him so much and your pussy fucked him so good. twilight suddenly started fucking you at an animalistic pace, his grip on your hips bruising. you were screaming, certain that the entire village could hear you. your poor neighbors.
“fuckfuck, can’t stop, so fuckin’ good, need more,” he moaned out, throwing your legs over his shoulders. your back arched almost painfully. he was so deep you could only feel him. everything felt so good, too good, and you weren’t sure if you could handle any more.
“link, it’s too good! c-can’t take it! can’t— oh my— hahhhh!” your fucked out babbling was cut short as you came again, squirting all over the two of you once more. you felt so good, you were sobbing. twilight chuckled darkly.
“there ya go, jus’ like that. give me all of it til there’s nothin’ left, you hear me?”
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imbeingchokeholded · 1 year
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Getting Clean
I need to be put into jail, stupid Scottish bitch.
Anyway this is probably lowkey just gonna be smut completely lmao.
I promise the soap pun titles will end.
Also so sorry this took so long because my mind is an enigma and writing for either the COD fandom or the RDR2 fandom has been deleted out of my mind.
Lets go lmao
WARNINGS!: female reader because im a woman and soap makes me yell real loud (nothing against him being shipped with male readers or 141, good for him what a king), NSFW, fuckin, im so bad at warnings just know its gonna be fuckin happenin, choking?? Voice kink???? Breeding kink for SURE. Just major NSFW basically porn with negative plot. Like... .5 plot.
Scottish slang/words may be inccorect due to using google, so please lemme know if its wrong, I'll happily fix it.
I am so sorry for spelling mistakes i finished this at like 2am
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The mess hall seemed way too empty, everyone was out on missions, covert, recon, whatever, and while there was a shit ton of others there on base, without most of the 141 team it just felt....wrong.
You sigh and look at your food. It's not that it's bad food. In fact, it looks delicious, but sitting alone, at this massive table that usually you shared with Ghost, Gaz, Rudy and Alejandro, as well as Soap, just made you feel...down.
They were easily the people you were closest too on base. Working so closely with them it was only a matter of time before it happened. All of you were close friends, it was rare for any of you to stray from the group and talk to anyone else.
So today, sitting in the mess hall, was no different.
You stare at the food a little longer, and poke it around with your fork, that strange foreign feeling in your chest.
"Aye Lass, lookin' at it like tha' cannaé change how it tastes."
You smile and twist your head to look at Soap as he nears the table, a tray of food of his own in his hands.
"Johnny! I didn't know you were here!" You smile wider as he takes a seat next to you, and chuckle as he takes a bite of food from his tray.
"Ah, I jus' got back from a mission not too long ago, Price is givin' me a wei break."
You nod and smile at him, your heart seems a little lighter now, someone who you're far closer to now with you.
Plus it was Johnny, how could you not be happy around him? He was the obnoxious fun loving one of the group, he could be serious yes, but it was rare. Most days he joked, laughed, spat out witty sarcastic comments at everyone who passed.
You supposed that was part of the reason you'd grown to have such deep feelings for him in the first place.
Of course you'd never tell him that, you were far too nervous to do that.
Handsome, sweet, a deep voice, which had a Scottish accent on top of it? You could listen to him speak about nonsense for the entire day.
Sometimes missions with him were absolute hell.
He did his job, he was a good Sargent, he knew what he was doing, trained properly, getting things done the way they needed to, but his commentary....
That damn voice of his, he didn't even need to be next to you, all he needed was that voice and his stupid little sarcastic quips.
Hell, sometimes it wasn't even in comms.
He'd yell out something simple, that shouldn't have been attractive, yet it was.
Something as simple as "Changing mags!" Could make your face heat up and turn a violent red, hell, he basically growled at the end of the sentence whenever he said it. Being near him was almost like having a bomb strapped to your chest. Threatening to go off at any second.
Everytime he said "Steamin' Jesus" you couldn't help but imagine him using it in a far more intimate senario, with a slight change of tone, and that never failed to send a flood of warmth between your legs.
You swore that he knew what he was doing too, like he could sense the tension between the two of you, or see the red on your face, but if he did he never brought it up, and for that you were thankful.
Trying to explain fraternization to Price would not be a fun experience. Not only that but bringing it up would probably make you flustered beyond speaking ablity.
"Hey, Y/N. I been talkin' yer fuckin' ear off, you still listenin'?"
You shake your head and look at him, your face feels hot and you're sure you're crimson.
"Ye alright Lass?"
That stupid nickname makes the blush worsen and you simply clear your throat.
"I'm fine Soap. Thinking."
"You can call me Johnny off duty." He laughs. "You usually do....ya nervous about something? Just a wei bit?"
His voice carries a bit of teasing tone and you can't help but feel a bit if irritation at the smug bastard.
"Not nervous, no."
"Ah, not nervous, yet red in the face....Aye...I got yer number bonnie."
He snorts and then continues to eat.
"Really?" You cross your arms and look at him. "Do you now MacTavish?"
"Pretty obvious if you ask me." He shrugs.
"Okay, so tell me then."
Your face burns at the sudden burst of confidence, and as a smirk crosses over Johnny's face you suddenly feel very foolish about what you've just said.
"Lass...tha's not very appropriate for me to say here, where anyone could hear....now is it?"
That smirk stays on his face as he lowers his voice to a low whisper as he gets the last few words out.
You swallow, and your face burns deeper.
"I don't know what you mean Johnny."
"I'm sure." He offers you a laugh and then stands, the look in his eyes makes your body shiver. "I think I'll head to my room...feel free to...visit, if you'd like."
You watch as he walks off as though nothing had happened and your entire body seems to shiver.
He sticks his hands in his jean pockets as he walks away, which you obviously noticed, because of course you did, with an ass like his.
What the hell are you gonna do? Follow him? How the hell did he figure you out so quickly? Did he mean what he said?
Little did you know Johnny was thinking similarly.
"What the hell were you thinkin'? Saying somethin' like that? Y/N does NOT feel that way about you, you probably just fucked somethin' up, fuckin' idiot."
It takes you only a matter of minutes before you stand from the table and head after Johnny, towards his room in the base.
Your heart is thumping so loudly its the only thing you can hear.
Your body seems to be reacting on its own though, your thoughts, while dirty and definetly in need of some....cleaning....ironically, are wondering what'll happen to your friendship afterwards, but your body doesn't seem to care.
Your mind races with the thought of what would happen if you were caught too, it wasn't exactly professional to fuck your coworker in the military.
When you reach his door you breathe deeply, hesitant as you raise your hand to the door. You stopped for a moment and then, you knock on the door.
Johnny opens the door nearly instantly, only a matter of seconds pass before the door knob clicks and he stands in the doorway before you, leaning against the doorframe as he looks down at you.
"Tha' was quick Lass."
"Shut up, let me in."
"Aw...c'mon now...be nice..." He lowers his voice, whispering the last two words, a smug smirk coming over his mouth.
You feel a rush of heat through your chest and look to your feet, your entire face seems to burn, your ears even feel as though they're burning.
"Please Johnny?"
You feel his hand come under your chin and he lifts your head to look him in the eye, not gently but not rough either.
"Try again Lass, look me in the eye."
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
"Please let me in, you stupid Scottish fuck."
"Tha's not very nice...thought I said be nice..."
You clench your jaw and stare at him, that smug grin on his face somehow managing to irritate you and make you horny all at the same time.
"Please Johnny? Let me in?"
"Ye really do want me, don't ye? Dinnaé know you felt so strongly towards me.." He smirks at you and the moves aside, dropping his hand from your chin to let you in.
You look around his room, staring at all the posters and things he has lined up on the walls. Considering this was Johnny's room....you expected it to be far dirtier, less organized, yet as you looked around at the rest of his room you noticed everything had a place, everything was neat, he didn't even have dirty clothes on the floor.
Neat and organized....despite his very chaotic and uncooridinated nature.
You're busy looking this over, viewing his room when he comes up behind you.
He leans in close.
"So, you were havin' thoughts then?" He smirks, you can feel it without even looking at him. "You? Havin' thoughts...innocent little Y/N always focused on the job Y/N....havin' thoughts like those....and about me..."
His voice lowers, it's nearly a growl, and a hand wraps around your waist, his fingers slide gently under the bottom of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach, only just barely.
"Naughty...naughty..."
You look down, your face is completely red, scarlet, and it burns hotter than you thought possible.
By looking down you didn't really account for the fact that, that would only leave your neck open, and it takes all your will power you have not to make a sound when you feel Johnny's lips agains the skin there.
"I'm suprised it took you this long to notice Johnny." You breathe out, hoping your voice wouldn't give out on you.
He stops, his lips still gently placed against your skin as he speaks.
"Really now....been very noticable has it Hen?"
The nickname sends a shiver though your spine, though you know the word itself isn't the issue.
"I think so..." You breathe. "Can't you tell when my voice changes over comms sometimes?"
"Ye get that flustered...over comms? Ye don't even see me.."
He chuckles and presses another kiss to your neck, you're sure the next one he offers will be brusing.
"Not my fault..." You mumble. You've almost collapsed against him, leaning your body weight onto him, though he doesn't mind in the slightest.
"Really now...now...can ye explain to me what it is on comms that makes things so hard to focus then Hen?"
"Why must you make things difficult?"
"Difficult?"
He laughs at you and then stands up straight, his hand leaving the skin of your stomach.
He moves to his bed and takes a seat, nearly plopping down, he sits with his legs open and slaps both hands on his thighs, leaning forwards.
"It isn't difficult, it's a really easy question now Lass."
You cross your arms and look at him, watching as he leans back a little a simple smirk on his face.
"If ye really want somethin' tonight Y/N, yer gonnae have to tell me."
That smug look doesn't leave his face, rather it seems like it only gets worse as he utters out your name, emphasising it, lowering his voice as he does. To add to this you watch as his hands leave his thighs, palms upwards in a sort of shrug gesture.
He knows what gets you flustered over comms. He knows, you know he knows, but you also know he's gonna make you say it.
"You damn well know what it is Johnny."
"Oh I do, but it'll be much better when it comes out of yer mouth, preferrably with your face all red."
You swallow and look to the floor, keeping your arms crossed as you speak.
"I swear sometimes you do it on purpose. You do those damn jokes, say those fucking statements and you always lower your voice, especially if you know I'm listening. I told you how I liked your accent ONCE and now you use it everytime you can."
"Aye, I do." Again, as before, you can hear that smirk on his face. "I'll admit it. I take every chance I can."
You scrunch up your nose, refusing to look up at him.
Theres silence for a moment and then you hear him shuffle, only then do you look up.
He simply catches your gaze and makes a motion towards himself with his two middle fingers, pretty much beckoning you towards him.
Despite the stubborness you've shown earlier you can't help but follow his silent command.
As you reach him and stand inbetween his legs his hands creep over your thighs, fingers curling around the back of them, squeezing the meat of them, tightly, firmly. Just the right amount of pressure.
He looks up at you, his face a little more serious now, the smirk from earlier still lingers, but it's far less noticable.
"Ye know Y/N, I've thought about having you in here....a lot."
"Really?" You stop a moment, your body tingling, stemming from his fingertips outwards. Your mind seems a little fogged. "I thought....I thought maybe you'd invited me in here today just to...well honestly I thought you were just fucking with me Johnny, but...I couldn't just ignore it."
"Nae, no fuckin'with you, no this time."
"So...does...um...does that mean..." You swallow, struggling with your words. "Look....Johnny I think it's obvious I've liked you for a while now...are...if we're really gonna do this...I...what does it mean? Anything? Just...are we fuck buddies, or something more because...."
Your words trail off, you can't help but cross your arms, a sudden burst of what you can only assume is nearly shame creeps up through you.
Johhny's face changes, subtly, but you catch it, and you don't miss the squeeze he gives your thighs either.
"Hen, once I get a taste of you I don't think I could have anyone else."
He's quick with his movements as he slides his hands up towards your ass, and pushes you slightly closer to himself.
The action he does next is a simple one, yet it sends all kinds of feelings through you.
His tongue touches the skin of your stomach, his hand gently pushing your shirt up out of the way. He licks a stripe upwards, keeping eye contact with you as he does.
"Jesus Johnny...."
He offers a chuckle and grips your hip with his free hand just a little tighter.
"I'm gonna ask this once Bonníe," he looks at you, only a small trace of a smile on his lips. "Are ye sure ye wanna do this? I'll stop if ye say stop, but after this I won't ask again."
Your thoughts swirl in your head for a moment. Wondering if it is what you wanted. If it was worth chancing your friendship, chancing your job, getting caught fraternizing is no small penalty.
In the end your body decides for you.
You nod.
"I do."
That smile of his fits on his face slowly, showing off those pearly whites. His surprisingly sharp canines.
His tongue comes out once more, again licking up your stomach, this time he stands as he moves himself upwards, only bringing his mouth away when he reaches the area just below your breasts, letting your shirt fall back to its original place.
When he finally stands his mouth goes into good use, his lips meeting yours with a feverancy, practically a need. He fists your hair, and darts his tongue into your mouth without any hesitance.
His free hand snakes around your body, finding purchase on the plump of your asscheek.
You let out a moan against his lips which in turn pulls one from him.
Your hands wrap around the back of his neck, grabbing onto any part of him you can.
His hand nestled within your hair offers a tug, pulling your head back, taking your lips from his and exposing your neck to him.
His lips latch onto your throat, open mouthed hot kisses against your skin, making your body shiver, tingle. His tongue licks along your skin, warm, and again...hungry.
"Johnny..." You whine out his name, and your body flames up, a part of you is curious as to how he'd gotten you so needy so quickly.
The other part did not give a shit.
"So pretty when you whine like that Bonníe..."
He smiles against your skin, moving towards your jaw, still dragging his lips along your neck, refusing to leave it.
"Maybe we should see if I can get any more out of ye..."
"Johnny...we have to be careful..." You mumble. "We...we can't be caught-"
"Yer right Lass...that might even be more fun..."
He pulls back to look at you, his eyes seemed to darken with the idea that begins to plauge his mind.
"Let's see if ye can keep from screamin' huh?"
"Johnny-"
He cuts you off as his hand come up around your throat, offering a gentle squeeze to the sides as he begins to push you down to the bed.
"Do yer best for me Love." He gives you that goddamn smirk again. "Stay quiet...Can ye do that?"
You nod, your breathing becoming heavier as he stares down at you, hand still wrapped around your throat.
"Atta girl."
He coos out the words and everything in your body seems to be completely englufed in flame.
"You this charming to every girl you fuck Johnny?"
You breathe out the words, hands moving to his chest as you settle against the mattress.
"Jus' you Lass."
Rough hands slide under your shirt, over your stomach, bringing the shirt along with him.
His thumb glides up the center of your torso, pushing down slightly as he continues his movement, his other hand only leaves your throat when he needs to remove the shirt fully.
Your bra is taken off with seemingly expert practice, your breasts exposed to the air, but quickly they're found by hands and mouth.
A rough palm on one and a wet mouth sucking and licking the other.
It takes all your power not to moan, your back arching up into the feeling.
You hadn't been aware of just how touch starved you'd been.
One of your hands tangles into his mohawk, attempting to hold onto something of him.
He looks up at you, pulling away from your breasts.
"Nae, I dinnae say ye could touch lass."
"Johnny-"
"Shut tha' pretty mouth lass...see if ye can be quiet yeah?"
You nod, swallowing as he reaches for your pants. His fingers hooking under the waistband as he unbuttons them with the other.
With one swift movement he's pulled both your jeans and panties down, leaving you bare to him.
"Would ye look at tha'...such a bonnie sigh', Love..."
He smirks and moves in, hands finding your inner thighs, bringing a sigh from your lips.
Before you can say much else you feel a swipe of his tongue over your heat, already you were slick, this was certain to make the problem worse.
His grip on your inner thighs gets a little tighter as he continues with you, he moves his tongue with expertise, eating you out as though he's a man starved.
"Johnny..."
You can't help but let his name slip out, grabbing the sheets beneath you, squirming your hips against his face.
He looks up at you from his position, and even in his eyes you can see the smirk he'd wear.
It's far too soon that he pulls away, you'd been so close to your climax, so close to having that release, until he'd denied you that.
Again you whine his name, and he moves, climbing over you, grabbing your face with one hand, firmly holding your cheeks.
"Aw lass...wei bonnie...are ye feelin' a wei bit needy?"
You nod, the best you can in his grip, moving your hips against his clothed arousal, hoping for even a little bit of friction.
You give a nother small whine, this one more of a sound than that of a noise, again reaching for him, only for his other hand to pin your wrists above you.
"Ah...I told ye, nae touchin' lass"
You simply look at him, unable to do much in your senario. It's then that he kisses you, deeply, his tongue gliding against yours, the taste of your own slick in your mouth.
He lets go of your face, only to rushedly un button his pants, his problem suddenly a bit more annoying than it had been.
The moment he's free, his pants and boxers disgarded he simply looks down at you, seemingly thinking.
Its then that he grabs you by the hips and easily, effortlessly, flips you onto your stomach, running his pointer finger and thumb down your spine for a moment.
"Ye look so good from this angle love..."
He leans over you, his chest to your back, head angled right next to your ear.
He lowers that damn voice of his again.
"Can ye be a good lass fer me and arch jus' a wei bit... chest down love, ass up."
Of course you do as he asks, or rather tells, like its instinct, pressing your chest further into the bed, raising your rear higher into the air.
He leans back, taking a look at the sight in front of him, his hands going to the flesh of your ass like magnets, squeezing gently, your ass and hips, as though he can't decide which he likes better.
"Look at ye...such an obediant little lass...ye like doin' what yer told do ye? Is tha' why ye like rankin' under me? Enjoy the way I order ye around on the field? Makes ye think..."
You don't answer, focused on the feel of his hands, its only when he moves one of those hands to the back of your neck.
"I need an answer lass."
"Yes, yes I do Sir."
You can nearly feel the smirk on his face, he squeezes the back of your neck a little tighter.
"Sir?"
"Yes sir."
"Oho...I like tha' lass..."
He grabs both of your asscheeks again for a moment before you feel one leave only to feel him push into you.
You let out a groan as he pushes in, as much as you can take, to the base, you feel incredibly full. He's girthy.
"Fuck Johnny..."
You murmer.
"Nae...yer gonna call me sir from now on Love..."
You swallow, waiting for him to move.
"Do ye understand me?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good lass."
He gices you this praise and gently he moves his hips, his hand pushing your spine back into that arch you'd subtly moved away from.
His hips move slow, almost painfully so, and he knows this, teasing you with his hands gliding over your back.
"Ye look so good lass...all this jus' fer me..."
"Johnny please...."
"Aw lass...what did I jus' say?"
"Please...sir?"
"Tha's better....use yer words bonnie...what is it ye want?"
"Faster sir, please?"
You hear the small beg in your voice, sure that by the end of all this you'd be begging a lot more.
"Tha's a girl."
His hand moves to your hip, gripping hard as the other moves to your hair, grasping the roots of it, giving a tug as he moves his hips a little faster, filling you with his size, over and over again.
It's only a minute or so before he seems to loose that idea of torturing you, his pace picking up, hips snapping against yours, that slap of skin on skin, the squelch of your arousal ringing in your ears.
"Fuckkk y/n...." It comes out in nearly a growl, and he pushes your upper half further into the bed.
"Yer doin' so good bonnie...so fuckin' good..."
Another maon crawls its way out of your throat, the others you'd managed to quell, small sounds here and there, but you can't stop this one.
You push your hips against his, letting your knees spread further apart trying to get him in at a deeper angle.
"Please sir, please, fuck-"
The words tumble out of your mouth before you can register what you're even trying to beg for, your figers clench at his sheets beneath you, they smell like him, everything smells like him.
"Y/N..."
His voice is a groan, it's all you hear as he shifts your position, yanking you up by your hair, bringing your back to his chest, thrusting himself upwards into you.
"Johnny...fuck!"
You find your arm going over your shoulder, wraping around the back of his neck, trying to find purchase on something
His lips latch onto your neck as though he's drawn to it, his tongue swiping over your skin and his teeth leaving bites along your throat and shoulders. He breaths hard against you, inhaling your scent.
"Steamin' bloody Jesus..."
He groans, his pace picking up a little further, one hand still brusingly on your hip, the other slides down your front, fingers finding your clit easily.
It brings a moan to the surface of your lips, and rather than being scolded Johnny simply murmers another praise of 'good lass' in your ear, his hips snapping against yours, rythmic.
"Johnny-"
"Y/N..." He huffs, his fingers going faster against your bud. "'M close...need ye to tell me where..."
"Inside Johnny, please...fill me up..."
"Jesus Y/N..."
His voice is breathy, heavy against your skin as he continues, his hips getting erratic, until finally he gives a groan, shoving his face into your shoulder, riding out his climax, the feeling of his cum hitting your inner walls pushing you closer to yours.
He rides out his, moving his hips slightly, much slower than before, and keeps his hand going, trying to keep his previous pace.
"C'mon lass...ye can let go now...it's yer turn..."
He mumbles, breatheless.
It's not much longer of this praising and the movement of his fingers before you do just that, squeezing around him and moaning out his name as you finally reach that high.
As the two of you come down, breathing hard, Johnny still inside you, head leaning against your shoulder, he slips an arm around your waist and offers a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
"Thank ye lass..." he murmers. "Tha' was fun."
"Thank you Johnny."
"Ye ain't gotta thank me...I've wanted to do tha' for god knows how long."
"Maybe we can do it again sometime."
"Oh trust me lass...we will be."
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