#this is such fucking bullshit they lie to me

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

More Logan and writer reader pls? I need to see a grown ass man grovel

Wade haphazardly tossed a bag of mints on your kitchen table and you looked up from your laptop, "For the nausea, you know. Since you won't tell me who your baby daddy is so I can make him-"

"That implies that I know," you tell him, making Logan pause where he'd been putting away groceries and dog food- trying to keep you from lifting anything heavier than a book.

Wade folded his arms and coked out his hip, "Bullshit you don't know."

"You don't have the market cornered on bad life choices Wade," you sigh.

He leaned on the table and stared you down. "I will find out," he threatened. "And when I do-"

"No one forced me to fuck-"

"Never said they did," he said, "But they're gonna pay fucking child support."

"Yeah. Sure." You restrain an eyeroll and swallow hard, having to get up so you could puke, Trigger following after you like a shadow.

Logan listened to the heaving and fought the urge to go hold your hair back- his ability to be close to you right now was... tenuous at best. You were tired. You were depressed. And Logan was the only person you didn't have to front quite as hard for. You could be upset about things. And worried. And scared.

It was something. Even if it wasn't what he wanted. He didn't know what he wanted- he didn't even know if he wanted to BE a dad. But he knew you couldn't do this alone. Even if you were still heartbroken and pissed off at him.

"She fuckin' knows," Wade said, picking up your phone. "She fuckin' knows and I'm gonna beat him until-"

"You're so fucking stupid it's not funny anymore," Logan growled flexing his hands to keep his claws sheathed.

"She told you, didn't she?"

"Yeah." One lie is as good as another. And it'll keep Wae from going through your shit. You have all your appointments in your calendar and he's willing to bet you don't want spectators- he's not even invited and it's his kid.

"You motherfucker," Wade gasped. "And you didn't tell me?"

Logan shrugged, "She asked me not to. He's not a nice guy."

"Fuck!"

"Stop yelling this isn't the crack house you live in," you yell from the bathroom.

"It's not a crack house, it's a crack home!" Wade rounded back on Logan when you started dry heaving again and slammed his fist on the table, "Who is it?" he demanded.

"No one you need to worry about," Logan hedged.

Wade scowled, "Logan I swear-"

"Look, do you want us to get along or not?" It was the last card he had to play. Wade wanted his family to get along. And he was COMPLETELY oblivious to the fact that you were avoiding his roommate. He'd been bitching about the lack of movie nights and dinners.

"Fine," he bit out, "But it's your adamantium ass if anything happens."

[17020]

TU CORAZÓN ES MÍO — ORQUÍDEAS X WINBRE.

There is absolutely no one like him. All you hear is that young love is nothing more than miserable. With him, though, it's the complete opposite. He is your present and future, going through thick and thin together. Your heart is his, and his heart is yours.

STARRING . . . Ren Kaji, Jo Togame, Toma Hiragi. fem! reader

DICEN QUE EL AMOR EN SU JUVENTUD

SOLO TERMINA EN DOLOR... featuring REN KAJI

Ren Kaji was tired of hearing the same bullshit that came from every old fart's mouth. That young love isn't meant to last, not one bit. Every second spent together will eventually crumble, and it's best to go your separate ways before life itself sets you apart. Right?

Hell fucking no. Ren Kaji was sure that they must have had shitty, unhappy lives, because there was no way he could imagine life without you.

Sure, things were not always a bed of roses. Kaji knew that he wasn't exactly the best type of person to deal with, so he knew that it could take a bit for him to get used to things. And truth be told, he was glad you were patient.

Relationships weren't his strong suit—hell, you were his first one. His inexperience and his temper made it a wild ride, but you were willing to welcome him with open, loving arms. Your embrace made him forget about everything else: no person, comment, or action could come between the two of you. You were inseparable.

His first date, first kiss, first time, you were present in all. The more Kaji spent his days with you, the more he realized how many idiots he had heard say that this wouldn't last. He was determined to prove them wrong.

And he knew that he was being hasty, the way the velvety box slipped from his fingers many times was enough for the world to know that for the first time, Ren Kaji was anxious.

Fresh out of high school, he bolted through the busy streets. His destination? Your home.

Because after a nasty fight, he knew he had to make things right. He couldn't afford to lose you—not now, not ever.

When you heard a knock on your door, what you saw left you speechless. Your boyfriend was absolutely disheveled, with his hair all over his face, his eyes brimming with tears, and an open velvety box in his hand, revealing a thin band with your birthstone.

"I don't give one shit that we're young, but I want you to know that my heart is yours. This ring's all I have for now. Yn, marry me."

WHAT DO THEY KNOW?

THEY'RE MISERABLE, BROKEN, AND ALONE... featuring JO TOGAME

It had to be kept a secret. For both your sakes.

Because if the townspeople were to know that Bofurin's most beloved princess was involved with Shishitoren's second in command, frankly, a war was to take place.

It wasn't as if Togame was a complete asshole, but first impressions were always of upmost importance. And Jo Togame had screwed up by being a douche to Bofurin and falling for someone in enemy territory.

He was running out of excuses.

From having to run errands, being too tired and having to head home early, or even having to go to the bathroom and mysteriously spend hours looking for one, Togame always had a little lie up his sleeve in order to sneak out. It got difficult with time as Choji offered to accompany him in his errands, and Sako questioned him on why his lips were swollen, a red tint smeared across them.

"So, who's the lucky gal?"

"Dunno what you're talking about, I drank beet juice, that's all."

"Does beet juice leave your hair messy and give you hives on your neck?"

Togame chuckled as he raised his hands to his head, patting down his hair in an attempt to fix it. "Don't push it. I'll bring her over when I'm ready."

Sako stared at Togame with wide eyes, seemingly unable to process that he had indeed accurately guessed Togame's secret activities. "It's that serious?" he asked, with his raven haired friend humming in return.

"Best thing to ever happen to me. Keep it on the low, will ya? Don't want this spilling out."

Togame’s secret was well kept until a few weeks later, when he found himself inside a popular restaurant which was the borderline between Bofurin and Shishitoren territory.

And technically, he tried his best to be discreet. The restaurant’s popularity had skyrocketed overnight, which essentially meant he was to be more wary. A cap was on his head, with some dark aviator shades covering his eyes. All that hard work for nothing, as his infamous jacket was still draped over his shoulders.

The ‘disguise’ was worth it, though, as a smile grew on your face from how ridiculous he looked. It was a sign that Jo Togame was willing to go above and beyond in order to make you happy, and you were sure to keep that in mind.

“Jo, aren’t those your friends?”

The look on his face was indescribable. He whooshed his hand in the air in an attempt to call a waiter and ask for a check, and ended up drawing more attention to him.

And there they were, Choji Tomiyama and Kota Sako, making a beeline towards his table, wide eyes and shit eating grins plastered on their faces. Choji was the first to speak up, his hand patting the cap on his friend’s head. “What’s with the look, Kame-chan?”

"Is this the girl you told us about? Wait—isn't she—"

"She is" he sighed, "which is why I wanted things to be lowkey."

Sako looked distressed, his hands stuffed inside his pockets. "Do you know what'll be of us if Bofurin was to find out about this?"

Togame simply smiled in return, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"If Bofurin finds out and has a problem, it means they're miserable, broken, and alone. I love Yn, and I'd to through hell and five steps beyond for her."

A ESTAS CALLES NO VOY A REGRESAR PA NADA

TENGO ALGUIEN QUE ME AMA... featuring TOMA HIRAGI

No matter how many men you met and dated, you never seemed to find yourself comfortable with them. From them being too little or too much, you thought you'd never find the perfect match.

And your best friend Toma Hiragi had the pleasure to hear all about it.

"I mean, the date was horrible!" you exclaimed, running your fingers through your hair. "He spent the whole date on his phone talking to his friends, and when it was time to pay, he expected me to do so! I got so angry I stood up and left him on the spot. Even the waitress supported me!"

Toma sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "And ya went on this blind date because...?"

"Because I want someone who can treat me right, Toma, and so far I've found nothing but assholes."

He loved the way his name rolled so smoothly off your tongue. You were his closest friend, the one he went to for everything. Hearing about your love life mishaps was enough for him to stuff his whole stomach with pills.

"Oh, for fuck's sake..."

"What?"

"Ya know what? Friday. 7pm. Dress nice."

"Why—what for?" you asked, to which Hiragi just facepalmed. "You complain so damn much about assholes, figured I'll just take ya to dinner instead. So, dress nice, and don't make me wait."

As soon as you heard those words, you knew your life was about to change. Because Hiragi doesn't do things for anybody, so for him to ask you to dinner was huge.

It wasn't a one time thing. Each week, you found yourself in various food places and arcades with Hiragi, with his excuse being that 'this was a way for you to shut your trap.' And it worked?

There were no more blind dates, or random hookups. Just Hiragi taking up more and more of your time every day. You couldn't lie to yourself, it felt like heaven.

"Toma, why do you keep taking me places? I don't want you to do it if it's out of pity, y'know. Save your cash."

He shook his head in response, "Save it? I've been waitin' for this since forever ago, ya think I'm gonna waste my chance?"

"What do you mean?"

"My heart's always belonged to ya, stupid. It's about damn time ya know."

taglist (open, yippee!): @stunie @kaiser1ns @nyxypoo @karasuglazer @littleplantfreak @maruflix @heartkaji

[mcflymemes]

ALIEN (1979) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

the other members of the crew are dead.

this is the worst shit i've ever seen.

anybody ever tell you you look dead?

alien life form. looks like it's been dead a long time.

i should reach the frontier in about six weeks.

can you hear me?

what was your special order?

you read it. i thought it was clear.

what about our lives, you son of a bitch?

how do we kill it? there's gotta be a way of killing it.

that's bullshit.

you still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you?

you admire it.

look, i've heard enough of this, and i'm asking you to pull the plug.

i can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies.

something has attached itself to him.

we have to get him to the infirmary right away.

wait a minute. if we let it in, the ship could be infected.

you know the quarantine procedure. twenty-four hours for decontamination.

listen to me. if we break quarantine, we could all die.

look, could you open the goddamned hatch?

i can't do that, and if you were in my position, you'd do the same.

this is an order.

the ship will automatically destruct in t-minus five minutes.

you bitch!

you are my lucky star.

i find that hard to believe.

what would you like me to do?

i'll get my own answers, thank you.

some of you may have figured out we're not home yet. we're only halfway there.

what kind of transmission?

you were gonna leave us out there!

when i give an order, i expect it to be obeyed.

unless somebody has got a better idea, we'll proceed with [name]'s plan.

oh no. you're out of your mind.

i say that we abandon ship!

we take our chances and just hope somebody will pick us up.

i'm for killing that goddamn thing right now.

will you listen to me, [name]?

you don't know that.

that's the only way.

we'll go step by step and cut off every bulkhead and every vent until we have it cornered, and then we'll blow it the fuck out into space.

is that acceptable to you?

that's amazing. what is it?

please don't do that. thank you.

you let him in.

by breaking quarantine, you risk everybody's life.

maybe i should have left him outside.

maybe i've jeopardized the rest of us, but it was a risk i was willing to take.

i do take my responsibilities are seriously as you, you know.

you do your job, and let me do mine.

you remember anything about the planet?

what's the last thing you do remember?

we're on our way home!

i don't trust him.

i don't trust anybody.

it's a robot!

let's get the hell out of here.

there is an explanation for this, you know.

i'm sorry, can i say something?

we don't know if it's intelligent.

i wanna go home and party.

you don't dare kill it.

how long before the ship blows?

why don't you just fuck off?

it looks like a warning.

i can't see a goddamn thing.

get out of the room!

the first thing i am going to do when i get back is get some decent food.

open the door!

oh god, it's moving right towards you!

get out of there! behind you! move!

this place gives me the creeps.

whatever it was, it was big.

i'll get the shuttle ready.

wait a minute. there's movement.

where's earth?

something's different down here.

it's got to be around there somewhere.

[the-magpie-collective]

I've been struggling to articulate why people conflating Wyll's desire for emotional fidelity with no sex until marriage bothers me so much. I think this is the fifth or sixth time I've rewritten this post. So I'm giving up. Here are some bullet points in no particular order:

Waiting to have sex until marriage is inherently tied to purity culture. I hope I don't have to articulate why this is a bad thing. Making the worth of someone dependent on their perceived purity/virginity is not at all in line with Wyll's character.

Please stop getting sucked into the lie of purity culture being a show of dedication/restraint/true love. Please stop painting it as a good thing. Please fandom I am begging you.

Marriage is inherently a religious (and sometimes legal) institution. Wyll is canonically dismissive of the gods and they do not hold a great importance in his life ('The only thing a god's ever given me is a cold shoulder') And Wyll is not filing paperwork in triplicate with the city of Baldur's Gate before getting down and dirty with his love. No.

It takes what is a grand romantic gesture—a desire to know and understand his Love Interest and truly dedicate himself to them before sex—and turns it into a checklist. 'Gotta get married fast so we can fuck'.

I have seen a few individuals veer straight into aphobia with this. They'll give Wyll the strawman position of wanting to wait to have sex until marriage, so that when they criticize Wyll wanting to wait, make him out to appear "broken" for applying a different priority on sex than other characters, and then proceed to "fix" him, they're painted in a better light. The reality is they're just perpetuating the same tired old aphobic bullshit that people on the asexual spectrum must just be prudes/religious nuts/broken/sheltered/'one good fuck would fix them' instead of acknowledging that it's a valid orientation.

I don't personally headcanon Wyll as asexual—but there are definitely parallels in how some people in fandom treat Wyll's wanting to wait and how people treat asexuality

You don't have to justify why Wyll is having sex in your fanfic. These are fictional characters. Do what you want with them. Just stop it with the aphobia

[d0d0-b0i]

tell me how in the hell csp, once upon crashing doesnt have my data for the past few hours my file has been up despite autosaving being turned on for every /40/ minutes. i swear it somehow lost 6 hours of history (that i admittedly barely did anything on, so its not like i lost a ton of stuff but ! is this not false advertising? if it cannot remember despite autosaving every supposed 40 min, how am i meant to trust this thang)

[americankimchi]

it's so hard to take star wars seriously nowadays because i'll watch someone get skewered by a lightsaber and then somehow walk it off with a bacta patch and a slap on the ass. like you're telling me a weapon that can carve furrows into foot-thick solid durasteel doors, dripping melted slag in its wake, when applied to the flesh of a sentient being leaves behind nothing more than superficial damage. like be so ffr. "it cauterizes the wound instantly" this is not a little cut. this is not minor burns. you were IMPALED BY A BEAM OF PLASMA. your ORGANS have been COOKED. your BLOOD has BOILED. your BONES were INCINERATED. what are you TALKING ABOUTTTTTT

[numelfanclub]

i keep seeing ai "art" on the stsg tag and it is pissing me off here are two mini doodles because i need ai dickriders to hop tf off of the internet

the second doodle is from resau btw 🔥

[fuckyeah-bears]

whhhhyyyyyyyyy is everything sooooo motherfucking expensive????? don’t they know I can’t afford all this shit???

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

"we need more female failures n deadbeat women" you guys can't even handle dr alphys

[pinkcrittertomb]

I, no joke, often dream about a scenario where Sanji realizes he can fight women without disrespecting them. Something happen or someone open his eyes, saying that he "respect" women so much by not fighting them that he is straight up disrespecting women by not seeing them as worth fighters, that may exist women who will take advantage of it (like we see zillions of times in the anime) but there is nothing more humiliating than someone not seeing you as worth to a fight and refusing to fight you as equal

[lloydfrontera]

i will never stop being confused about people saying og lloyd was maltreated. like. what the fuck are you talking about. it's not maltreatment if you verbally and physically abuse and harass the people around you and then people start avoiding you and talking shit about you. that is called Consequences Of Your Actions and it's literally the least og lloyd should've gotten for the shit he pulled. like. someone very well could have decided not to take his bullshit and beaten his ass easily at any point. but they didn't. no one ever fucking did. javier is the closest we ever get to that and it was one (1) punch to get him to stop destroying someone's home and business. show me where is the maltreatment. cite your sources. tell me where can i find it. if you're gonna say something with your whole chest please tell me you've at least read the source material and aren't just explaining your headcanons as if they're facts. show me the fucking receipts ajsdhksf

[blubushie]

Watching Mavis contemplate the idea of herself possibly being on the path to becoming an alcoholic is strangely cathartic after how she treated me for being an alcoholic. I'd say I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through on my worst enemy, and that's mostly true. I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through in full on my worst enemy.

So I hope her recovery goes quick. But I also hope it sucks. I hope she gets withdrawals that she recovers from, but I hope she suffers the fevers and the chills and the cramps and the cravings and the agony. I hope she learns a lesson in how she enables and encourages the way society treats the struggling, the less fortunate, the downtrodden, the traumatised, the addicted.

I hope she learns something from this and never speculates or utters another fucking word about anyone else's coping habits or addictions. I hope she learns to stay in her fucking lane and not judge people for the methods they use to cope.

I hope she comes away with the knowledge of what her own medicine tastes like, and I hope it's bitter.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

regarding the shipping (that you ship everything) (i'm a few days late, i know, sorry), do you have thoughts on Radek/Rodney? i'm mostly a monoshipper (even though i want to be a multishipper), so since i ship McShep i'm sorta just lowkey "maybe i'll possibly read a fic or two for them" with other ships including either of them, but even still, i fucking adore Radek/Rodney and i'm a bit annoyed with myself for not properly shipping them, so, thoughts? cute? boring? fun? =D

(John/Todd too. but i like Radek/Rodney better (because i adore Radek) (like pls David Nykl is so cute) (have you seen Arrow? Anatoly pls https://littlegirlinvisible.tumblr.com/post/159026461523 (warning for flashing gifs)) (also i love Anatoly's beard) (but to get back to Todd i have a huge weakness for Christopher Heyerdahl and if it hadn't been for him idk that i'd have liked John/Todd as much as i do. John having to look up at Todd *whines pathetically*))

be well and have fun! (sorry about the rambly mess and all the parentheses)

ps. have you seen Hannibal? my dash had something SGA-related and directly below that a fucked up Hannibal fanart and my brain was like "tumblr user sga owns my soul would appreciate that" and it made me curious. fucked up show, fucked up ship(s), absolutely amazing.

i did not forget about you i've just been rotating this in my brain while putting out the 15 fucking (metaphorical) fires in my life that all popped up at once lmao

SO i have. a Lot of thoughts about rodney and radek as a pairing and you're getting them ALL so buckle up bc this will probably be long

first of all, rodney and radek have SUCH an interesting dynamic and i love the way they go from bitter rivals to reading each others minds with the flick of a switch and it gives SUCH old married couple vibes but they also have such, like, idk almost brotherly vibes??? like they regularly insult and belittle and attack each other but they also are the only one each other trusts (in the science departments) and the only one they let themselves rely on in a crisis. just that kind of "i can say whatever i want but you if you so much as imply something negative i'll break your teeth" vibes ya know????

anyways i think if they were in a relationship of any sort it absolutely would be hate fucking, like they get SO MAD at each other and they're screaming and throwing things in the labs and everyone takes The Cue To Leave bc they know that exactly 8 minutes after the violence starts, the sex starts and no one is paid enough to be traumatized by that lmao but it works every time bc they both emerge from the lab two hours later with messy hair and clothes but also with a brilliant idea that'll fix their 6 current problems and probably another 3 that haven't come up yet omg they would literally be The Power Couple but if you mention dating or any sort of Official Relationship they will both shoot you

also john/todd makes me fucking insane and i'm going to forever scream about how they're LITERALLY DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER JFC THEY ARE THE BRIDGE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WRAITH AND I FULLY FUCKING BELIEVE THEY WOULD RULE THE GALAXY IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I LOVE JOHN/TODD SO MUCH FUCK anyways i'm normal about that ship

ps i have not seen hannibal but the fact that you saw something from another fandom and thought i would like it is the SWEETEST THING EVER and now i feel like i need to watch the show

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i need to consume something or my thoughts consume me

[d-lanx]

I made the official CM Punk pizzas cos that's what my life's come to, now, I guess

Ok so I randomly remembered that aroud 2011/12 or something, some pizzaria in Chicago made CM Punk pizzas. And they were actual official things Punk himself endorsed.

And since I was bored and had no idea what I wanted to eat tonight I figured I might try the recipes. So I found what they were, got the ingredients, and had a go at making them myself. (I'm no pro chef btw hence why they look a little scuffed).

So, the Anaconda Vice is on the left and has black beans, chorizo, cheese, chopped tomato, spring onion, bacon bits, and fresh leaves of coriander and parsley. The GTS is on the right. It has shredded chicken, sliced potato, swiss cheese and fried onion.

I had to make some substitutions. I used chicken instead of turkey, and the vegan cheese and bacon on the AV wasn't available so I just used regular cheese and bacon. Also just did fried onion rather than french fried onion like the original recipe calls for.

My dough bases were just premade ones since I've never made pizza from scratch before and really wanted this to be edible since I was making this for dinner for my famiy (I did 2 of each pizza). I don't know if I could have done a self made one for my first try but I'll have a go for my next lot.

Overall, they were really good, and I imagine they'd be even better if I made my own base for them. The Anaconda Vice was by far the favourite, especially the black beans on it, and I've already been asked to make that one again in future. But might add fried onion like in the GTS, since I just like onion.

I imagine these being done at a proper pizzaria by people who knew what they were doing would have been amazing back in the day. Sadly I live 3,800 miles away from Chicago and 12 years into the future from 2012 when they last made these (as far as I know) so fat chance of ever getting that.

Overall these were really tasty and definitely worth the effort. Absolutely gonna make these again with my own pizza base. However, I have no idea how the fuck I'm supposed to explain where I got these recipes from to my family without looking like a complete lunatic. It feels weird to say they were wrestling inspired limited edition pizzas from a random pizzaria in another bloody continent.

Btw I've added a link to a post talking about the actual pizzas with pictures and all. I realise mine look nothing like them but I think they just chopped everything up finer and had different proportions of each topping (and obviously on a better base with thicker crust) so it's no big deal.

I'm probably gonna make at least the Anaconda Vice again in future since it went down so well. So if I can make one that looks a bit better than the ones I've done today, I might post them, too and show the improvement. Cos I swear that they tasted better than they looked in my picure.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Just love it how I fall into the same spiraling crisis over and over again like if nothing in my life is a constant, at least my issues are.