#this is the stupidest post ive ever made i think

[cedars-glen]

"tord eddsworld is trans and disabled" i say into the mic

the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"no, xes right." they say. i look for the owner of the voice. there, in the third row, stands mr red leader himself

[kkoct-ik]

i dont remember why i drew this

[luna-rigain]

I think “at the ihop” is the funniest way to end a sentence on the planet. Me and all my gay little friends had brunch today at the ihop. Had trouble parking at the ihop. Drama in the ihop parking lot

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[louellaby]

FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778 @yourlocalgrass @kaiserkisser @hhurric4ne @amberheavendremurr @yu-ulda @bk-4-trash-fire

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER I | CHAPTER II | CHAPTER III | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER IV | CHAPTER V | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VII | CHAPTER VIII | CHAPTER IX | CHAPTER X | LOUE'S LETTER | EPILOGUE

F I N A L C H A P T E R

「 Forget-Me-Not 」

"M—MC...?! Wh-What are you doing back here in the Devildom? Aren't you supposed to be in the human world?!"

Everyone's eyes were fixed on Soley as she tried her best not to panic at the sight of you. Then, she set her gaze on Lucifer.

He saw the expectant look in her eyes as she was clearly pleading for help. She wanted him to shield her with his body, just like how he protected her from harm multiple times before. She wanted him hold her tightly against him and stroke her head while he questioned you about your unexpected appearance.

But nothing like that happened.

Lucifer didn't move an inch.

"What am I doing here?" You repeated her question as if it was the most stupidest thing you've ever heard. "I am the proud owner of this mansion, you see. Of course, I haven't had it built myself. This was a gift from Dia."

The prince walked into view and stood to your right while his butler Barbatos followed suit and stood to your left. Diavolo had a smile on his face. It was you who put it there the moment you said you were proud of the property.

The three of you walked down the stairs of the hall balcony so you could face the others on the same level. "I haven't left the realm at all, Soley. You clearly didn't know your place, and you still don't, so I thought I could... help you see it."

"You were too wrapped up in your own fantasies about being the only one who's loved that you didn't even notice you were being brought straight into a trap."

"W-Wait.. you mean.. since when—"

"Did you really think they're here to celebrate your birthday after the way you treated their beloved family?"

"I hope you don't mean you." She spat, rolling her dainty little fists. "You're not their family. You're just a human they didn't care enough for."

You smiled in response. She was finally starting to show her true colours.

"You see, that's where you're wrong, Soley." You took a step towards her, an action that made her take a step back. The anxious look on her face fueled you, making you grin like a mad person. The brothers did nothing but watch. They were all looking at you, completely proud of their precious human.

"I've always been their family even before anyone knew it. They care about me more than they made you think they care about you. Remember that in this place, Soley, you're nothing but a powerless little ant surrounded by a group of children with magnifying glasses."

The more you approached her, the more she stepped back. Her mind kept racing, trying to figure out every step of your plan. Too bad for her that you're already at the very last step.

Because she was distracted, she tripped over her own feet and stumbled on the marble flooring, yelping in pain. By the time she opened her eyes and came to, you were already standing in front of her, towering over her helpless figure. You could all hear her breathing getting more desperate; it was echoing through the halls. As she trembled in your gaze, she failed to realise that she was already surrounded by the same demons who made her believe she was special. Mammon and Satan were right behind her, waiting for you to give command.

You held your staring contest with Soley, ending in her failure as she tried to hold back her tears. She tried to look around for a way to escape.

That's when she realised her situation.

"Y-You can't hurt me! Any one of you! I'm important to the Devildom!" She exclaimed, glaring at everyone but mostly at you.

You knelt down in front of her with an amused expression on her face and asked, "Is that so? Please tell me your worth in this realm."

"I'm an exchange student of Diavolo! He said that I'm protected as long as I'm in the Devildom!"

"And who were supposed to be your protectors, hmm?" You added, smiling warmly as if to mock her. She tried to think of something when she realised the very answer to your question.

"That's right, Soley. The Seven Rulers of the Devildom and the ambassador from the Human Realm. Those eight were supposed to be your knights in shining armour; to take care of your every need and protect you when harm comes. But... they can't really do all that when they're the ones hunting you down, now can they?"

Soley felt small. She tried to hide her furious trembling, but she couldn't. Even her own body betrayed her. As she hung her head to keep you from seeing her pooling tears, she croaked, "S-Since when have you been... been planning th-this..?"

Her eyes widened, her head tilted upwards, and all eyes were suddenly directed at the source of someone's laughter— yours. You apologised for the sudden giggle and stared at Soley's watered green orbs. "I guess I can tell you now since, well, we're all trying to be nice here."

"You're not being nice here at all, MC."

"Now, now, Soley. There is no need to point out the obvious. I'm about to answer your question, so it's best if you just shut up and listen to me."

Silence fell onto the girl. Her eyes were focused on yours, waiting for you to continue talking. You were amused by how cooperative she was being, so you thought to reveal what you had been planned from the very beginning.

"I don't have a good feeling about that human," Mammon mentioned once again as he kept pacing back and forth. The others in the room, his younger brothers, just ignored his pacing and gathered all their thoughts.

"Isn't it obvious?" Levi asked, which got everyone's attention. The demon didn't look up from his game console and just kept talking. "That human doesn't like MC, or any of us for that matter."

"Levi's right." The fourth-born leaned back on his chair and nodded along with his brother's comment. "It's certainly possible that she'll do something to MC."

"What?!" Beel panicked, almost dropping his food. His twin brother, who was resting his head on Beel's lap, woke up because of Satan's statement.

"Do you think she'll really do that here?"

"Hey, by "do something to MC", I didn't mean she'll hurt them. At least not physically." The six of them shared worried glances before someone entered the room. It was you.

"MC, did you..."

"I heard every word from the beginning, Satan, and I agree with you. Soley was jealous, and it was clear as day when I went out with her earlier. She tried to ask me for help getting along with you guys, and I'm warning you that she'll be hanging around you all in the upcoming days, maybe even for the whole year."

"What?! MC, you can't do that to us!"

"Yeah, we don't want to be stuck with her! Especially not for a whole year!"

"Guys, I need your help here. I need to show her that I'm not someone she can mess with. And certainly not someone she can replace."

"S-So, everyone— everything.. they were all—"

"—lies, yes." You cut her off with a nod and an amused smile. "Ever since that day, the day we last went out together, everything had been planned by me. Of course, I can't really take all the credit; all of the demon brothers, as well as Diavolo and Barbatos; they all helped prepare everything. It wasn't scripted or anything, but it was all done as it should be. Would you like for me to list them all?"

"No, ple—"

"First, the brothers making you feel like you were the most special person to them. I'm sorry, but in all honesty, they couldn't bear your presence. None of us could. I'm impressed that they managed to continue their act for almost a year."

"Of course, MC! We didn't want to disappoint you!"

"Thank you! I'm so proud of all of you!"

"Wh—

"Hush now, Soley, I'm not done talking." You snapped and continued counting with your fingers. "Second, the brothers made you think that I was no longer important to them by stopping to be around me. It hurt all of us, but it will all be worth it by the end of today."

"What do you mean by th—"

"I said, hush," you snapped again. "You're a noble lady, Soley. You should know better than to interrupt a higher ranking person." The girl's brows narrowed, but she held her tongue. You continued to speak.

"Third, the brother's overprotection. I mean, our overprotection of you. You know that we tried to keep you safe, right? Of course, we needed to do it for our plan to succeed. If you got in trouble with another demon, well... that would spoil our fun, wouldn't it?"

"Fourth, that farewell letter. Let me guess, you somehow destroyed it before any of the brothers could read it. Oh, but not to worry, I sent them a picture of it before leaving it to you. I needed to make sure it was believable enough. And it sure was when one of them thought it was actually real."

The brothers all looked with smirks on their face at the Avatar of Greed, who glared at the rest of them, but he did his best to keep quiet for you.

You scoffed in amusement the moment you saw the deep terror in Soley's face. You reached out and squished her cheeks together. Her body flinched at your sudden touch. "All of that, my dear, all of it— was just a bunch of planned lies. Do you know why? It's because no one, and I mean no one, could ever replace me."

With one look from you, Mammon and Satan grabbed her arms and pulled her up on her feet. She struggled to no avail. She kept struggling, and you just shrugged it off, getting up on your own feet and leaning in closer to her ear. With a low voice, you whispered, "Oh, and by the way, my favourite flowers are scorpion grasses. They're otherwise known as forget-me-nots."

You retreated your head back to see the horrified look on her face. "So please, Lady Soley..."

"... don't forget me."

「 CHAPTER IX | LOUE'S LETTER 」

[munamania]

oh my god. oh my god. okay i am posting this as a result of seeing the most annoying tiktok ive ever in my life and the general resounding idiocy all around the internet. sorry that made me sound so mean. re bottoms. and from people who claim to be 'cinema majors' and yet are the stupidest people on the fucking planet. okay sorry im heated i promise because i love this so much. you cannot judge a piece of media, its creators, or enjoyers, on the basis of literal content. based on like. the things that happen within the story. it's a story. this one is special because it's an absurd sex comedy. normal logic is not normal logic. are we understanding that base level concept that things have to happen in a story. and conventions within those. anyway you cannot just do this and make conclusions such as 'these filmmakers are trying to harm x community because they included x happening to [insert oppressed identity here].' you cannot do that and pretend youre being intelligent. on top of being some of the most annoying people on the planet: you're simply incorrect! you're assuming bad faith. youre moralizing in a very surface level manner. a very simple dichotomy. im saying this as a kind recommendation and with hope in my heart. in engaging with any media, ask yourself some questions. you can practice them as discussion questions if you'd like here: under what context was this film made? societal, economic, cultural? what audiences do you think they had in mind while creating this? who are the creators? how do they lend themselves to the work? in what ways can other audiences find pleasure and establish an emotional connection through xyz? which characters are audiences meant to feel empathy for and how are they treated? how are other characters treated? what values do certain characters represent? what did you think of them? did you laugh? did you have fun? who punched up who punched down who punched each other? was it fun? these are just some starters to get you using your fucking brains. maybe once you know that you can validate your own intelligence and understanding of your feelings toward media you can let the fuck go and have fun. have fun!!!!!!!! holy shit. it's a comedy. so yeah in the meantime you can step off the back of comedy fans and stop your claims of 'problematic representation.' just because you don't understand and you probably think comedies and their creators are so below you

[jinxiguess]

GONE characters in a british highschool

this is like the stupidest post ive ever made also disclaimer i know NOTHING about the american school system so i think half of them are probably in the wrong years also i didn't want to put all of them in the same year so ignore how some of their ages dont even match up😭

SAM

year 11

ALWAYS forgets ingredients for food tech

and then burns everything

and then forgets to take it home and just leaves it in the fridge at the end of the day

never remembers to put money in his school account and quinn has to buy him lunch every single day

sleeps through maths

has the most obvious crush on astrid and the entire school knows

ASTRID

year 11

made it her life goal to get head girl when she was in year 7

and got it ofc🤭

try hard in every single class

and top set in everything

always has so much stationery

goes to homework club EVERY SINGLE DAY

besties w the librarian

somehow oblivious to the fact sam likes her

QUINN

year 11

always late to every lesson no matter WHAT

somehow keeps ending up front row in school fights and gets interrogated abt them

"can i go to the toilet?" and takes like 20 laps round the school before he comes back

takes 0.5 pictures of everyone

sells overpriced sweets at lunch and makes bank

threatens to fight people after school but never does

joined the football team but nobody ever passes to him bcs he cant play to save his life

EDILIO

year 10

accidentally downloaded a virus on one of the computers and nearly got expelled

gets squashed in the lunch queue

buttons up his blazer to look smart

makes sam join clubs with him so he isnt alone (he's scared of the year 8s)

tried to feed the seagulls outside the school

hangs out in the library w roger and denies that they're dating but literally everyone knows

so bad at pe that he doesnt even bother bringing his kit anymore n just gets sent to iso

LANA

year 11

literally never in class

vapes in the toilets w diana

ALWAYS in iso

dated quinn for like a week in year 8

somehow pulls absolutely everyone

so popular but everyone is also scared of her because one time she scrapped w drake and bashed his head in

brings alcohol to EVERY party

CAINE

year 11

head boy even though he does NOT deserve it

leads the year 7s to the wrong side of the school

pe try hard (screams "WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET THE BALL" at his teammates)

year 7s all have a crush on him

acts like he caught a disease after he touches a year 8

has like 60% attendance but the teachers still love him

never goes to form

always shoving in the canteen queue🙄

gets way too competitive over kahoot

literally never been sent to iso except that one time he shoved drake off his chair in the middle of class

DIANA

year 11

rolls her skirt up and always gets in trouble for it (and refuses to roll it back down)

vapes in the toilets w lana

sprays entire bottles of perfume every time shes near the year 7s

and then makes friends w them specifically to slag them off later

stalks the teacher's socials

uses xx or 💋 after EVERY SINGLE TEXT

has a pandora bracelet and wears different charms on it everyday

somehow untouched by school air

DRAKE

year 11

"WHAT DID I EVEN DO???" every time he gets sent out of class (he was literally jumping on the tables)

starts like half the fights in the entire school

scraps outside tesco like every single day

LOBS paninis at the year 7s

steals tesco trolleys

should probably just go live in iso atp

got kicked off the football team bcs he wouldnt stop slide tackling

literally on the verge of being expelled

DEKKA

year 10

1000% done w everyone elses shit

sits in empty classrooms at lunch n pals w the teachers

way too stressed abt gcses

actually really really good at music

so quiet but somehow everyone knows who she is

used to take the bus to school but decided she didnt want to have to deal w all the year 7s and stopped

got hit in the face w a netball in pe

BRIANNA

year 9

absolutely sprints to the lunch line

gets so mad whenever someone doesnt pass the ball to her in pe

and always fighting w caine in pe

shoplifts from tesco

forgets her pe bag at least once a day n leaves it everywhere

always getting sent out for talking back

LOST the form pet hamster

nearly blew up a science classroom

TAYLOR

year 8

always talking shit about everyone

makes those tips for year 7 videos

defo has pe first on a friday😭

snitches on EVERYONE

makes tiktoks in the bathrooms

spends half the lessons making her titles cursive and pretty

makes fun of the year 7s as if she wasnt one like two months ago

JACK

year 7

GIANT backpack

and probably gets trampled in the corridors

probably wears undertale or harry potter keychains (and gets bullied abt it)

always gets hit by paninis travelling at 1000kmph

got given a top locker and cant reach it

cries when he gets in trouble

PENNY

year 8

rolls her skirt up unevenly

side eyes EVERYONE

vaped in the toilets and taylor snitched on her

REFUSES to wear her blazer

falls over in pe and everyone sighs when she gets put on their team

got put in iso for insulting all the teachers

ORC

year 10

stabs his radnor fizz w a compass and sprays it at all the year 7s

also starts like a million fights

NEVER has a pen

grabs peoples bag straps and yanks them backwards

always steals the year 7's footballs and boots them into orbit

wears black airforces instead of school shoes

and is never ever ever wearing his tie

HOWARD

year 9

keeps getting mistaken for a year 7

hangs out with older kids to look cool

and then brags about it

sells vapes behind the school at break

tries to break up orc's fights and gets flung halfway across the pitches

MASSIVE blazer (looks like a roblox character)

SANJIT

year 10

probably a theatre kid

runs to every class so he isnt late

always skips pe

that one kid who highlights EVERYTHING

somehow manages to record EVERY SINGLE FIGHT (and then sends it to everyone)

holds therapy sessions in the toilets

that one asthmatic kid who screams whenever anyone sprays anything

[beastcouture]

i dont think ive posted this image by itself but it perhaps is the stupidest thing ive ever made

bl(am)e it on the edit pillar

[wolvebonez]

okay so ive been scrolling tumblr for fics since ao3s down and I have a guilty love for Irondad fics despite not really interacting with the marvel fandom at all. (Or any marvel media outside of the spiderman movies, and spiderman comics, cuz im a sucker for peter parker. Blame into the spiderverse.) Guys, what the FUCK is “anti-tony stark” and “pro-tony stark” ???? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???? HELpppp me/ . Help. Dear god. The stupidest fucking discourse ive ever seen. Jesus.  Like marvel is literally built on being pro-military pro-police pro-big coperation propaganda. That’s just what it is and always will be founded upon. The comics themselves were straight up propaganda. The movies are more subtle but they cannot free themselves of that fact because the Comics Were, Literally, As I cannot stress enough, MADE AS AMERICAN PROPAGANDA!!!! Thats all to say: Tony Stark as a character is propaganda. No he would not reasonably ever fucking be a good person outside of fiction. However it is a movie and it’s meant for you to view him as a good person. It’s not wrong to fucking enjoy him, as long as you realize it’s propaganda. It’s ALSO not wrong to dislike him, as long as you realize it’s still fiction. Am I making sense here? Honestly, I’ve been taken aback at how WEIRD and toxic some of the posts i’ve seen are. “Shut up if your pro-tony I dont want to see irondad fics anymore” and “If I see another fic saying its pro-tony but then the fic criticizes him I’m gonna kill someone” . PLEASE Have some nuance to your thinking PLEASE Im begging you. Dear god.

[freddi00]

Bubble Comics just updated their website and removed the ability to switch to english, as well as no longer have a list of what comics are available in that language. This means that, although they do offer english comics, and you can still buy and read them, you do not know which ones are available in english untill you buy them. Its a guessing game now.

Before that, when you changed languages to english, it would show you what comics are available in the language, but now the ONLY way to know is a League Of Comic Geeks list i made about that. The only reason this knowledge isnt lost media is because some random guy on a comic website made a reading order.

This basically tells me Bubble have given up on appealing to the foreign market, which is incredibly unfortunate, as ill always believe Bubble are one of the best publishers out there and deserves praise from the entire world. The fact they arent willing to do the bare minimum, and provide easy accessability to the comics they translated for a foreign audience, is possibly one of the stupidest decisions they've made in all 11 years of their existance.

Despite all of this, i still highly encourage reading their comics. They are genuinely some of the best ive ever read.

[Here is the reading order for everything they have available in english](https://leagueofcomicgeeks.com/profile/Freddi00/lists/24111)

Please spread this post to all international readers of Bubble you know. Let them know there is still a way to read them. Dont let this wonderful comic universe die out outside it's country of origin, and if you think it will help - let Bubble know you are upset about this. With enough people we may make their english comics widely accessable again.

Edit: THE MOBILE APP IS STILL THE SAME AS ALWAYS! Use it to buy the comics instead of the website while its like this

[ethernetmeep]

as to not taint the humor of the millipede post, i say this separately and as its own sort of weird entry thing; today was not all that nice. if you somehow wish to read emotional ramblings then feel free below i suppose. this will all probably be very embarrassing & stupid & gone at a certain point

at first, it seemed to be fine; by all accounts, i felt normal. i was happy, content, neutral, what have you. near the end of first period, i felt a sudden and all encompassing sort of emotional pain which is hard to explain besides a knife in ones gut. i try to shrug it off, go back to normal; i listen to instructions of my teacher before i ask to sit outside. i proceed to bawl my eyes out silently.

and you may ask, WHY? and i ask the exact same thing! i have no clue why i suddenly break down like this, but i do, and its heavy and uncomfortable. i sob out of both guilt and intense emotions unable to be placed anywhere definitively. i sob because i don’t know what else to do, as trying to hold my emotions in has seemingly only made me sick thus far in the day.

i continue to cry for an uncomfortable amount of time i won’t disclose. a teacher who i enjoy greatly sits beside me in the hall; without even having to say the words aloud, i answer him. i talk quietly of things i remember and talk of how upset i feel; not mad upset, but sad upset. he seems confused on what too much of something would be. ive been wondering this for months. he asks if it was possibly seen as something more intimate. i say this could be likely and i feel far worse; i feel awful, actually. he runs off because hes a busy man. i think about our conversation and i feel overwhelmingly distressed. i feel sick. i feel as if ive ruined everything by accidentally implying something different then what i may mean. i dont enjoy the vague way certain events occur. i hate being vague, i hate not being able to read between the lines of things; vagueness scares me to a point of distress and acute worry, which is probably hypocritical.

i have to resort to one of the stupidest things ive imagined in a long time in order to not feel the overwhelming & all encompassing feeling of wanting to [REDACTED]; imagining myself as stanley from the stanley parable and being lectured about how this action would quote make the timeline collapse in on itself or quote ruin the game by the narrator. i can imagine his voice clearly in my mind saying STANLEY, YOU CAN’T SELF-IMMOLATE STANLEY, THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR! something stupid like that. its odd that it helped.

i was fine, although i then proceeded to not be fine. got asked if i was okay. answered truthfully and said no. an acquaintance prompted me to talk about it with her, then simply.. left. had to find the girl she enjoys being with. she said she would find me later and talk about it; i really didn’t want to talk about it. i moved to put on my headphones then realized it was stupid & was already on the verge of tears again at simply the discussion from before & feeling like a circus animal being heavily scrutinized and laughed at under intense gaze. i get to class but i am overwhelmingly unable to do anything but cry.

i get to go to the library, but at the detriment to my friends. i text one and tell her i won’t be at lunch as im dealing with emotional distress and don’t want to quote, be a debbie downer. i am saddened at my actions; i wish i would’ve just went and talked with them, but i also don’t wish that i did because i hate distressing those i care about. i didn’t want to put more on my friends plates. i’d deal with it myself

of course, nothing is ever sound & calm for long; the area which i feel comfortable crying in is overtaken and i move uncomfortably. i am asked if im okay. i lie blatantly to a girl ive known as an acquaintance for years. i feel bad for lying; i don’t want her to worry about me. it wasn’t important, anyway. eventually i regain my composure and get back to class. it ends and i move on; as per usual, my mood fluctuates and i soon find myself worried sick and leaving her classroom.

i stay after although i know the chess club is cancelled for this week. i don’t like the change. its not as if im mad at the change, i just so desperately wanted to believe the days i dealt with before actually still accumulated to something i enjoyed. now the one thing i enjoy is off to not occur for next week, either; giving me very little to look forward to, if anything

i sit in the airlock. i write in my notebook a list of things someone would do before self-immolation. hypothetically, of course. maybe four or five things on it are actually things one would care about. one is to play a DLC, another is to finish a novel; one is to stay in order to see the cicadas arrive & to visit the cemetery in the spring like someone (fine, me!) mentioned weeks back that i wanted to do. its uncomfortable how the novel i enjoyed dearly was not one of the important things on the list.

it takes quite a lot to kill me, i think. kind of like a tick.

i’ll be fine; i always am. i think ive gotten better. im slowly feeling more and more sane again, although the stress puke is still prevalent. as ive lived on, its gone down to a point where i just gag; don’t puke. i enjoy documenting when i do feel things like this, strangely enough. having an archive of my life makes me feel sane. its also interesting to look back on.

thanks if you read this somehow, even after the warning of how stupid it would be. i appreciate you, hypothetical reader. i enjoy your hypothetical quiet company

[fagcrisis]

💀 ask game - i fucking hate tumblr user v/a/spi/der and ok let me be clear! this is a very 1 sided kind of parasocial beef! Its not even for their takes (tho i do think that they are guilty of being wrong a not insignificant amount) but every time someone says something mildly innocuous that doesnt 100% line up w their worldview they just kind of come out swinging at them 'defensively' and accuse them of being a bad person and just generally bringing douchebag-type 'righteous anger' posturing to every single conversation theyre ever involved in. it makes me want to die fr. Ive never interacted w them personally because i dont want to put myself through that but the terminal hate event that led me to develop a personal dislike 4 them was when an artist of a webcomic i like posted some personal post like "its actually really annoying when artists on here act like people who dont give them free publicity via reblogging everything theyve ever made is personally harming them in some way" and va/spi/der basically saw that post, reblogged it, and accused them of wanting artists and SWers to basically starve in poverty because they dont think they should get exposure and that they were a horrible person for personally hoping that no artist or SWer can ever make a living and like man. It was the stupidest bad faith discourse ever but they react to everyone like this all the time and CONSTANTLY pick fights with tumblr randos about the stupidest shit and act like they're the pinnacle of righteous moral anger and whoever theyre picking a fight with deserves to be told what a shit person they are and have the ode to how much they fuckinh suck be reblogged uncritically by their 2957374728574 followers and theyre literally just being a massive bad faith dick for no reason and pretending its really important social justice to dunk on some random person who is literally also very leftwing but has an opinion very slightly different to them in some completely inconsequential way. Also ive censored their username bc they pick fights abt everything with everyone constantly & i dont want this to show up in search in case u do post it but im not gonna lie ur probably better off not fucking posting this one for the. Reasons listed above. Im aware that this is the pettiest shit ever but the secondhand embarrassment i get from their terminally online fucking posturing makes me kind of want to shoot myself in the head im not gonna lie

nooooo ur so real theyre so annoying i used to follow them and their political takes r so reactionary and annoying. pathological need to be correct for real. i vaguely remember them being a freak about something which is why i blocked them in the first place but that was ages ago they mightve just been fucking annoying

[tiredeyes1975]

👾 : what’s the funniest/stupidest discourse you’ve ever been a part of? 💣 : have you ever received anon hate? 🎥 : what’s the biggest post you’ve made? :3

👾 : what’s the funniest/stupidest discourse you’ve ever been a part of?

ive never really participated or directly responded to any discourse, but i always love watching everything burn from the sidelines. that being said, the tboy swag davy jones ordeal was the closest ive been to directly interacting w discourse. and that shit was hilarious

💣 : have you ever received anon hate?

yup, just some vague hate from over the years that i immediately delete from my inbox. not really the question but i think in fourth grade someone drew me with like a COFFIN as a threat and put it in my desk??? i never found out who it was.. i just ignored it but wtf

🎥 : what’s the biggest post you’ve made?

i dont know if it's the "what if greg heffley had the death note" post (which i replaced with two of us) or the stupid "i was born as a CD but a wizard turned me human" post

[hiro-doodlez]

OP, Ive seen some of the nastiest, stupidest, most fundamentally pointless dramas that result in real damage to real life people form on Rise Twitter. Tumblr is a breath of fresh air compared to that place. Let's really really hope nothing happens to twitter so that all the people that like causing so much drama for no reason stay there.

WHAT?? How did i not know about this??

Honestly i think one of the best choices i ever made was deleting Twitter lmfao, TOTALLY SUGGEST IT TO ANYONE SEEING THIS!! i swear I would see a post like "guys look at my new shoes" and there would be a reply along the lines of "stfu you bitch no one cares about your ugly shoes" For literally no reason. 0/10 NEVER going back to that hell hole (until the next Minecraft mob vote, ONLY FOR THE MINECRAFT MOB VOTE)

[selfundiagnosed]

why is it mean for someone to tell you you should get help? you're obviously in a lot of distress and should see someone about it for your own mental health...these 'patterns' you're leaning into are only exarcerbating your mental condition. but if you want to embrace your psychosis and go completely off the rails i guess that's your prerogative

to insinuate that a.) i dont know about my own mental state & wellbeing and you need to “tell me” because the psychosis makes it so i cant notice how it affects how i function every single day of my life b.) i need to delete my socials because of what someone else did to me to put me in this state c.) you somehow have any idea whats going on in my life, if im being treated, what symptoms im experiencing, that I legitimately cant tell ~whats real~ d.) noticing patterns doesnt mean im going off the deep rail LMFAO is all the stupidest shit ever.

for future reference, how you and the other anon are approaching someone you perceive as experiencing active psychosis is going to put people in active psychosis in danger to themselves. its funny to see random anons tell me what im experiencing and what i need to do about it to fix it when its evident from how this was approached you don’t actually care about me you just want to make yourselves feel like youre above me for whatever reason. “but if you want to embrace your psychosis and go completely off the rails i guess that's your prerogative” and “Deactivate your TikTok, delete the app and go see a psychologist” are sooo condescending. yeah deleting an app is absolutely gonna fix this problem. a diagnosis ive had since i was 15. stupid shits idek what to say like are you both actual tiktok teenagers who think they know everything about everything because get off my blog you suck so bad lmaooo sooo condescending. Im completely capable of making my own decisions im 22 lol i dont need tumblr anons i cant see telling me to do shit im doing already. i have a psychiatrist. ive been seeing him for years. i have a therapist. i saw her after my psychosis got retriggered. i know i am sick! i literally cant leave my house! when i do… i freak the fuck out! for HOURS !!! my family and friends all know how deeply this affects me and i promise you none of them have said this shit to me the way you and the “other anon” did. i stopped socializing, i havent made any new friends, i cant trust the people i do know im not close to anymore. i promise you i know WAYYY more than you about how it impacts me way more than you. my socials are the one open window i didnt put curtains on. i completely control what you all are able to see theough leaving this tiny window unclothed for the internet to look into my life. i dont need random people to see my jokes on my blog about my delusions and tell me its a delusion like im being very tongue in cheek about all of my delusional posts. i absolutely believe them but im making fun of myself for how crazy i sound.

i really have not a clue why youd think this is an appropriate way to approach it but it leads me to believe youre a tiktok user who probably thought the dude that manipulated his way into a famous persons house while she was manic was a Good Idea because clearly she wouldnt get help. lmfao its bad in so many facets. imagine if i was fully and completely immersed in my paranoia and delusions of being a targeted individual (which is the root of everything im experiencing right now): ask yourself how would you feel YOU felt targeted by a higher entity and now random anonymous people are telling you what you’re experiencing and how youre treated everyday isnt real and youre crazy. like to us its so very real and no amount of rationalizing makes it better. i have only small interactions every once in a blue moon these days that makes me think i could be okay and that im not being targeted and then every single day multiple times a day its shown to me continuously. this included! you and the “other anon” should really reevaluate how you talk to people in severe mental crisis because this is like the exact opposite of how you should react to seeing someone delusion posting or whatever and it shows me you dont know a single loved one with who experiences this shit.

in the future, fucking look into how you approach someone struggling. if i wasnt as lucid in my psychosis or in touch with reality you genuinely could have put me in danger. im going to send you and anyone on my blog watching me like im a circus act off with this so you never put anyone in my position in a state of self harm. but if youre too lazy to click on the link im showing you anyways