#this is the worst version of groundhog day

[ashlyns-general-blog]

ADHD is my prison, part 01

I was on YouTube, got bored and opened another tab... I opened YouTube again... I didn't even close the first tab, which also had YouTube... Dear god, save me before my goldfish-memory-of-a-brain goes into another loop and spiral into infinite YouTube tabs

Edit: I THINK I KNOW WHY!

both YouTube and Pinterest (my two most used speedials) are right next to eachother, and it doesn't help that both icons are red.

[writingouthere]

singlemom!reader x neighbor!sukuna. you miss having a baby and Sukuna is dying from a combination of your sexual tension, his lowkey(highkey) baby fever and the drudgery of attending a child's birthday party

cw: Sukuna's breeding kink, red flags are present and accounted for, no one gets laid tho so sad face. this actually ended up being way more sincere and heartfelt than I intended but honestly very typical of me

"Oh we're not together, Sukuna's just been letting me and Bug crash while we look for an apartment."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend, we're just friends!"

"He's actually not Bug's dad. No, no. But, they get along really well. She enjoys having someone else to hang out with aside from me, I think."

Your laughter after the last one plays on repeat as he goes to grab the two of you some refreshments. Sukuna feels like he's living the world's worst version of groundhog day, except instead of being some sad loser who relives the same day over and over, he's apparently a sad loser who is going to live the same conversation over and over again.

"Fuck this shit."

"Um, excuse me but could you watch your language. This is a kid's birthday party." Sukuna wants to ask the bitch who is correcting a grown man's language if he would mind watching his own fucking business but you seem to care about what these losers think and he won't make life difficult for you.

If he happens to step on the guy's foot as he leaves with two cups and a juice box caught in his elbow, well, his steel toed boots need the exercise.

Sukuna knew that if any of his acquaintances, he didn't have friends after all, could see him now, they would die laughing. Die ,because he would kill them for laughing, but fuck he couldn't even really blame them, even in his hypothetical.

Once upon a time, Sukuna was a feared criminal. People pissed themselves when he cornered them in a dark alley. Other bad guys would look at him and say, "wow that guy's a real piece of shit" and now look at him. Stuck at some three year old's birthday party. One more kidzpop butchering of an already shitty song away from committing another felony.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he knew he was at least getting some pussy out of it, but he had just spent the past two hours hearing you deny him to anyone who asked and it was really starting to get to him.

He knew he was being a little bitch about it, and he wasn't upset just because you weren't fucking him. He was upset that all the things you were telling people, they were technically true. He was just letting you and your daughter crash. He was just your friend, not your boyfriend. Even the comments about him not being Bug's dad, but him being positioned as some kind of really invested babysitter, those might have stung more than the ones about your relationship but you thought that was true too.

Thinking about the kid made him look for her, not that Sukuna ever wasn't aware of where you and your daughter were. It had become instinct before he was even aware of it.

Bug was laughing with some kids he recognized from daycare and others from their regular trips to the park. Her happiness was contagious and Sukuna found his lips twitching up at the ends despite his shitty mood.

Your daughter's eyes found him from across the playground. "kuna!" she called, waving her little hand at him. He waved back with his available hand and made his way towards her. She met him halfway, her little legs unsteady on the wood chips but she didn't seem to notice. She was always like that when she saw him, she ran fearlessly. Maybe she just trusted he'd catch her.

Was it so wrong of him that he didn't like the reminders she wasn't his. That it stung, not just because of his feelings but because it just couldn't be true. He might not have fathered her, but fuck anyone who said this little girl wasn't his.

"I got you a juice, you've been running around so much you gotta be thirsty."

"Not thirsty," Bug argued leaning into him. He held up his hands that were holding the grown up drinks for the two of you, and moved the package still lodged in the crease of his elbow towards the petulant toddler. "Take it, or I'll drink it."

Bug stuck her tongue out at him and grabbed it. She struggled to get the wrapping off the straw and Sukuna didn't even notice what he was doing until she had the straw stretched out towards him and he was pulling the wrapper off with his teeth. He spit it out on the ground as your daughter gave him a polite thank-you and then walked away, sipping her juice as she went to catch up with her friends.

What had become of him?

"Need a hand?" You smile at him and Sukuna hands over your cup before taking a sip of his own. There was unfortunately no alcohol in it but drinking it occupied his mouth before he acted like a pussy and asked you, "what are we?" or "should we get married?" or something equally as pathetic.

"God, I want a baby."

Sukuna almost spit out his drink but he manages to tone it down to just a little cough before turning to look at you. You don't even seem a little embarrassed which is just infuriating. Sukuna's about to make a suggestion on how he can help with that when you sigh and point to where some loser is holding their ugly baby.

"Aren't babies just the cutest, I miss when Bug was that age."

Oh, so this was just you looking at other people's red-faced brats and feeling nostalgic and was not in fact a call to action. Sukuna rolled his eyes and leaned back on the hand closest to you so he didn't touch you as he was so tempted to do these days.

"That baby, like all babies, is hideous. All they do is cry, shit themselves and vomit and I'm not even sure Bug is the exception to that and she's the best kid there is."

You look touched at his affection for your daughter but also fired up on behalf of babies everywhere.

"You can't just say a baby is hideous, Sukuna. Those are the Zenin's. Bug is friends with some of them."

"Well are the older ones cuter, because that baby looks like someone fucked one of those hairless cats."

"Sukuna!" you hiss but he sees you smile, despite yourself. "Okay, maybe that baby isn't like the cutest baby-"

"Hideous."

You continue after smacking his arm. "But Bug was cute, okay. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom." You take out your phone and quickly swipe until you get to what you're looking for. "See, cute baby."

Sukuna grabs your phone and looks. It's not the first picture he's seen of a young Bug and he's taken his share of photos of her himself, but he finds himself taken in by it anyway.

It has to be a picture from when Bug was really young, she still had the scrunched up, red face that he associates with newborns. But he thinks you're right, she's still cute. He doesn't know if it's because he knows that baby will grow up to be your daughter, but he finds his thumb caressing her little baby cheeks, the wisps of hair he can see peaking out from where she's wrapped in a baby blanket. It's then he sees she's not alone in the picture and there's a different version of you holding her.

The thing that stands out to him is how tired you look. He thinks this couldn't have been too long after you gave birth but still, he wondered if you'd gotten any rest those first few months. You still didn't like talking about your ex, or the circumstances that had led you to his apartment, but Sukuna knew that chances are you were taking care of Bug single handedly and that couldn't have been easy, cutest kid or not.

"She was beautiful, she still is." He reluctantly hands the phone back to you and you look at the picture again, tears building up in your eyes.

"She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I wish that the circumstances were different in how I got her. Sometimes, I wonder how I'll explain everything to her when she's older. She just deserves so much better than him, you know?"

"You both do." Sukuna reaches over and brushes away one of the tears that had managed to fall down your cheek. He leaves his hand there a moment, holding your cheek in his palm, just appreciating the warmth.

"Do you want any?"

"What?" Sukuna isn't sure what you're talking about anymore. He can only see your lips right in front of him, the way that your eyelashes brush against your cheek as you blink faster and faster.

"Babies, do you want any?"

Something short circuits in Sukuna's brain and he wants to say, fuck yes.

He wants to tell you that he thinks about it every day. Every time you put Bug on your hip or send him youtube videos of hairstyles you want to try on her. Whenever it's late at night, and little feet pad out of your room and Bug asks him in the loudest whisper he's ever heard, if he can get her some water because she's so thirsty.

He thinks about it when the sun streams through the curtains of his apartment in the morning and it lights up your hair as you move throughout the kitchen, a force of nature, a creature from somewhere far too good to have ended up here with him.

He thinks about it when the three of you go out and people just assume you're a family, because of course you're a family. When you and Bug play some made up game, or Bug gets tired even though she denies it and he carries her sleeping form against his chest. When he holds her in his lap on the subway and you lean to rest your head on his shoulder and he feels like this, this is what he's always wanted.

He's not all pure and good though, because he thinks about it late at night in his bedroom too. After a day of your smiles, of seeing your thighs stretch out of those sleep shorts you started wearing when the weather warmed up, whenever he remembers the feel and smell of your panties when he's lucky enough to find a pair in the laundry basket, he thinks about how the two of you would make some really cute fucking babies.

He's imagined it a million ways. He's imagined you telling him you've gone off your birth control and you need him now after he takes you out on an anniversary dinner. Or him crowding you up against the kitchen counter and you begging him to put a baby in you.

His favorite fantasy is currently one where you get so carried away when you finally finally fuck that you don't ask him to wear a condom and he spends the whole night making sure you're nice and good and full of him and when you tell him a few weeks later you missed your period, he'll let you freak out. But then he'll tell you that he'll take good care of you, and Bug, and your soon to be little one and he'll finally have you, all of you and once you have your second, he'll knock you up again, as many times as he can because there could never be too many mini-you's running around.

At this point, Sukuna remembers he's talking to you, the real you and he swallows a few times before he speaks.

"I do," he says simply but something must show on his face because you're looking at him in a way you never have before. He hears your breath hitch and he leans in to kiss you, and you smell so good and his thoughts are consumed by the little family he just knows you're going to have when suddenly he's pelted by a variety of sharp, little objects.

Sukuna immediately holds up his arm to shield you from what he now sees is a barrage of wood chips which are being thrown at you by an army of toddlers, including your daughter.

You immediately get up and start talking to the kids about the danger of throwing what are basically large future splinters at people's faces and Sukuna is contemplating the murder of every child that isn't his own when you turn to look at him.

You're not just looking at him, you're seeing him and oh. Maybe he would be getting laid tonight, after all.

The slow burn is almost done folks.

thank you to the amazing reception to this series and the one-shot I posted(which there will be a prequel of soon!). it's literally so insane. Masterlist will be up tomorrow which I hope helps with accessibility!

edit: masterlist is up!

[ohtobeleah]

I like to think the song 'I Love You, I'm Sorry' Specifically the Bridge of the song, is very Logan Howlett x Reader coded. And stick with me for a moment because I'll explain what I mean. It's early days, like truly early days in your relationship. So early that you don't even know if the feelings you feel are real or just lust-coated wishes.

I love you, I'm sorry

You were the best but you were the worst As sick as it sounds, I loved you first I was a dick, it is what it is A habit to kick, the age-old curse I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad Stare at the crash, it actually works Making amends, this shit never ends I'm wrong again, wrong again

I feel like it would be the reader who has this shit on repeat in her little cafe. Just doing the ordering, or enjoying five minutes of peace that comes once in a blood moon when you run a cafe that's a vigilante's wet dream.

"You listen to this song an awful lot," Logan grumbled as he took a sip of his coffee. Black, nothing sweet, no milk, no cream. "It's like an unrelenting Groundhog Day of bad music." Deep down, Logan only says it because he knows your attention is on the books in front of you and not on him.

"If you'd pay attention to the lyrics, you old fart, then maybe you'd understand why I like it so much," You don't even look up from where you're writing down your next order of alternative milk. But smile nevertheless because you know Logan has no intention of admitting he'd ever be into the same music as you. "It's about you."

"Like fuck it's about me," Logan replies with a frown. "How is it about me?"

"Logan," You sigh as you finally look up across the table. You're slightly frustrated because you need to focus, but you can't be mad at the brooding oldie sitting across from you when he gives you that shit-eating grin you love so much. He wanted your attention, he got it. "I sometimes wish you had mind-reading capabilities because then you'd know when I'm tellin' you to piss off." Logan chuckles at your attempt to flirt. He can smell your arousal from here, but would never mention it. The two of you had never crossed that line...Yet. It's not the only thing he can smell. He can smell your perfume. The Black Plum and Vanilla one. He can smell your shampoo. The juniper and white lilly one. He can even smell your annoyance for the way he's tapping his knee against yours under the table. The gentle knocks keep breaking your concentration and it's making you more and more flustered.

"I'd only wanna read your lips anyway," Logan takes yet another sip of the coffee he loves endlessly but would never admit to your face that your coffee doesn't make him want to kill himself. "Come on, enlighten me a little here."

You just stare at Logan for a moment, really just drinking in his entire being. Fuck, you were really falling for his son of a bitch, weren't you?

"You always call yourself the worst Logan there is. The worst version of yourself across all the realities and different timelines," You explain as you pack up your things. "But to me, you're the best, and I loved you before I ever had any chance to see your flaws, for the many that you fucking have," You sit in silence for a moment, just at peace with the fact you'd told Logan that you loved him in a very unconditional, non-traditional way. "Do with that information what you will, I have work to do you."

Later that same evening, when Logan knocks on your front door, you glimpse the song he'd last been listening to on the little iPod you gave him that you found in an old junk drawer. You raise a single brow as you lean against the doorframe and smirk.

"Gracie Abrams, Huh?"

"Go fuck yourself."

Ilya

[sparks-olivarpente]

the Stranger Fics

(byler fics with unexpected powers or twists)

Turns out a lot of my favorite fics enter this category. Feel free to reblog and add fics you love :)

In the Eye of a Hurricane (It's You and Me) by Julia_Skysong "Jonathan, why…why am I with dad on the security tape????" Lonnie Byers is a royal piece of shit. Will finds out he has powers and understandably has a meltdown about it, and Mike helps him through it.

over a bridge of time by @sevensided Hawkins isn't the same without Will. So Mike goes to visit him in Chicago. Then strange things happen… Second part of the awesome serie THE DARK MIRROR and of course you should read the whole thing :)

I know the end by @cosmobrain00 The worst-case scenario has happened. … and that's all the summary you'll get from me! an ongoing serie that keeps getting better and better (or worse and worse, depending on the point of view). Tags: #Mind Manipulation #Will has powers

them’s the breaks by emelinelou Three years after moving to California, one Will Byers shows up - read: dimension-teleports or something - back in Hawkins. In the corner of Mike's bedroom. In the middle of the night. Turns out this is a bad thing, namely for Mike and Mike's sanity.

captured ghosts by etchedstars ghosts from will's past come back to haunt this. literally or metaphorically is up to audience interpretation. Some favorite tags: #plot relevant cuddles #will gets to be sarcastic #he also commits crime

Come Hell, High Water by naiesu “It’s been months, Mike,” Lucas says, staring at Mike, hard. Mike can’t remember a time he didn’t look at him that way. “Will is a cold case. You need to accept that.” The dream-like parts are amazingly written <3

yesterFriday by nbfutureboy (@futureboy-ao3) Will Byers wakes up as usual one Friday morning - he worries about his family, his History test, and telling the people he loves that he doesn’t Like Girls in that way. Then he does it again. [Groundhog Day AU where Will gets stuck in a time loop.]

a strange education (reach out and touch me) by Total_Serene (@total-serene560) 16 year old Mike Wheeler wakes up in the middle of a highway in Indiana. He can't remember what happened, but he knows three things: He was going somewhere, it was supposed to be night, and he had taken Nancy's car. The mystery in this one…!!!

The Basement by olliecoddle (@souverian-are-we) Will and Mike spend their days in a little run-down house in the Upper Peninsula with dated furniture and peeling wallpaper, two sinking recliners next to each other. But there is a beast in the basement.

A Stranger Things Ghost Story by Junigatsu84 It is the Summer of 1983, before all the horrors that befall Hawkins. The boys are looking for their own mystery to solve and find a haunted house. It’s a shame Will is the only one to see it.

Back to the Future (with Mike Wheeler) by Nymphadoragreenleaf On a list of the top five most unexpected things to happen to Mike Wheeler, traveling 10 years into the future has got to take the top spot. The half-naked man claiming to be his best friend might be number two. Alternatively known as, Mike Wheeler tries to survive a week in the 90's and figures a couple of things out along the way.

You are the Heart by TouchTheSky A fever-dream, mucho-feels, super long, semi-fix-it, version of Season 5. i feel like i know you (but we never met) by @andiwriteordie “Who?” Mike’s voice breaks again, and Joyce chokes back a sob. “Joyce, who… who was he?” Or: The one in which Will Byers doesn't exist… At least not anymore.

with all my heart by mogiah (@morganee) what happens when Birthdaygate and Lettergate meet. or another one in which Will doesn't exist anymore

i've come home, i'm so cold by astrobi (@astrobei) Will's trying his hardest to make it through fall semester in one piece. Unfortunately for his degree, he's being haunted by maybe-feelings for his best friend (metaphorically), and also a maybe-ghost with rather abysmal fashion sense (literally). The fic that made me decide to spend the rest of my life that year reading fics

Blackout by Tea_For_One_Please as if their senior year of high school wasn't complicated enough, the Party find themselves investigating an accidental death, believing it to be connected to a similar event nearly two decades earlier. Just normal teenager stuff, right? This one hasn't been updated for a while but I remember enjoying the plot and mystery a lot

baby, we’re perfect by bookinit (@bookinit02) Senior year in Hawkins. Will and Mike figure some things out. I'm not allowed to say anything else about this fic. To quote the author: "brace yourselves. sorry in advance."

you were bigger than the whole sky by delusionaltogether (@parkitaco) Mike breathes out sharply, sinking to his knees in front of Will without conscious thought. Every bone in his body is turning to jelly, because Will is here, but he's also- not. on march 29th, 1986, will byers vanishes for a second time. 366 days later, he reappears.

This is where it starts by cottonscent While the rest of the party moved on and forgot once the gate closed Will kept exploring, and the connection he formed to the other dimension it actually a lot more complex than what they originally thought.

[evelili]

I just finished your Magnum Opus, and it was super great. I especially loved the Pinkie chapter (which surprised me because she’s my least favorite character!). Anyway, do you have any mlp fic recommendations?

oh boy do i have a list for you, strap in!

if you read my magnum opus writeup, you may have seen i mentioned three authors that dragged me back into mlp. if you're interested in sciset (and what's probably the most popular eqg fic on the entire site), Long Road to Friendship by Albi is a longfic that started after the first eqg movie and is a rlly lighthearted read. i don't normally care for OCs but gosh if i dont accept Albi's version of trixie's parents as canon in my heart haha. if you're interested in pony adventure fic, i also rlly liked Sunset of Time, another rlly well done longfic ive carried in my brain since i first read it xd

the second author, Monochromatic, aka the raritwi authority aka someone who has a GREAT taste in editors, has written three of the most formative longfic ive ever read: The Enchanted Library, its sequel The Enchanted Kingdom, and Crimson Lips which i unfortunately can no longer link since she's taken it down, but i believe you can still buy physically through PFP if you wanted to take a gamble on it (it would be a very good gamble). apart from her longfic though i also adore some of her shorter works, including but not limited to The Choices We Make, a really interesting Pinkie study that's definitely shaped how i view her, Your Own Worst Enemy, which is just. peak rarity content, and Injuring Eternity, which while being one of her older works still has certain passages that wreck me emotionally on sight.

and the third author responsible for my magnum opus is the one and only Aragon, who i can not only recommend for his fics but ALSO for his blog posts and comics (see the comic index on his profile for links to all of them, as well as this amazing blogpost about his neighbour that is just peak comedy). he's also the writer responsible for the banger longfic Crime and Funishment which absolutely defined my writing aspirations for a few years and is the definition of comedy if you looked it up in my heart, as well as In Hindsight, yet another banger rarity fic, and Love Is In Doom which is just bloody, silly, stupid fun (and has sunset shimmer in it)

and then if we want to talk fics i love written by other authors, Sleepless Knights by r5h has my favourite brand of scitwi written right into the margins, Administrative Angel by horizon has one of the most amazing endings to an opening chapter ive ever read AND an amazing celestia, The Best Night Ever by Capn_Chryssalid is a fandom classic with a groundhog day twist on the gala episode from s1, Side by Side by Krickis is a feel-good rarijack oneshot w a focus on lgbt (specifically trans) themes, Wax Earplugs by Reedhoarse has a dysfunctional mess of an adagio dazzle that i adore, Merge Request by FanOfMostEverything has all the scitwi/midnight shenanigans you could ask for wrapped up in the relatable content of github hell, Guppy Love by PaulAsaran is a rarijack longfic with an incredibly realistic setting and an interpretation of mermaids that i love so much, Doused Flame by heartlessons has me handshaking on the "sopping wet pathetic relatable guy" flash sentry interpretation that won me over recently, 80 Days 'Til the World's Farthest Shore by Cynewulf feels like reading a professionally published short story (and i mean that in the best of ways, it's enthralling), and finally if you'll allow me to be self-centred a bit i also am very proud of my two oneshots Heartstrings and Something About Midnights if you wanted to check em out too xd

oops long post!! im not sorry for it, i hope you can find something in here that catches your fancy (or even all of it haha), there's soooo many incredible fics in the fandom it floors me every day that i can read all these incredible works for free!!!

[lostchildofthenewworld]

I think with Rhaegar, whatever he ascertained to his purpose, he would desire it. To me, he was an insatiable man of appetite for self interest, in the worst way.

My favorite Rhaegar (oxymoron right there) fic is by liesmyth. It’s called the piper at the gates of dawn and it’s one of those you live again and again groundhogs day fics. You’ve probably read it but if not, I would recommend. I enjoyed seeing him fail.

R wakes up after dying on the trident and is completely unrepentant for the pain he caused people. He runs off with L again and fails and dies. Eventually he gets tired of that version and just takes off w/o saying anything and does whatever he wants. Knowing that his kids and Elia are in danger but he doesn’t really care. The author describes a bunch of different lives but at the end it seems like R gets everything he wants but he’s still unhappy. Because it’s not exactly how he wanted it. Anyway it ends with him dying. Even after doing everything exactly how he wanted he still dies. It’s reads as a sort of character study of Rhaegar.

I think I've read this before. I've mentioned before that I believe Rhombus gained his sense of self/self-importance from his grandparents. So long as he believes in his own delusions, he'll always be the most dangerous thing to his family and himself. I mean look at Aerys and how dangerous he was because of what he believed to be his truth.

That's the danger of people who have an inflated sense of ego and importance. They believe that their delusion, that their reality, is the same for everyone else, because they can't see beyond themselves. It would only need to take a moment of self reflection and self-actualization for pale-face prince to realize the dangerous slope he was on. Even when he left KL and was speaking to Jaime, he did not even factor in that maybe he would not return, so sure he was in his victory and infallibility.

I think that's why the death of Rhaella and Elia and her children are so depressing. Both wives are victim's of their husband's egos, with others (their enemies), (in Elia's case) taking advantage of their short-sightedness. But it often seems that the women of asoiaf suffer for the male ego.

[dorindameddler]

no honestly bc thinking abt all the wyllstarion possibilities is like. i Need to see it in some kind of groundhog's day parallel timeline funhouse mirror christmas carol future vision fuckery but also i feel like if worst possible scenario wyll got to see spawn astarion (and like, Himself with spawn astarion whether he's the duke or not) it Would be his last straw like he'd either die of a broken heart like a sad fairytale character or it'd push him far enough that he'd finally pull a judith and holofernes (the artemisia gentileschi version) w ascended astarion. i was gonna go somewhere with this but now i thought abt wyll cutting off ascended astarions head and im just rotating that image in my mind

wow do need alternate timelines fic about all the possible wyllstarion endings that would be so good

[ciderjacks]

please tell me about cal, love that little bastard

oHHHHHHOHOHOOHHO YES. OK. I WILL. IVE BEEN WAITING 10 YEARSTO BE ASKED THIS VERY QUESTION.

so ok so. Uh heavy Heavy TW for like themes of suicide and mental illness and stuff ahead. I’m sorry I would avoid it but it is genuinely impossible to talk about this story without them, bc that’s literally the central theme of it. But. Okok.

Sso Cal is one of my fav characters ever, he was originally created as like, a tragic backstory for Kimu-

(Kimu is this guy)

-so like, literally created to die. And he’s always been sort of a sad character. I made him when I was like 11 and edgy so he was an emo childhood friend of Kimu’s who takes his life, sending Kimu on a downward spiral. Like that was the original story basically.

Then as time passed I started developing the story, added more character and Cal got to have a personality, but he still dies. More time passes and I start to really like Cal, and bc his death is like, the most important part of the story, he sort of becomes the “main character”. Then in like 2023 I decided I actually didn’t want him to die, partially because I felt bad and partially bc at the time I really didn’t like the idea of having a character like him ending that way. like. Thematically I just didn’t like it.

So now he’s alive, the meta narrative has decided that he should live. I change it up so he has a suicide attempt, but survives it and gets his shit together after bc he’s now realized he likes being alive even though it sucks sometimes.

There’s a lot of like, actually in narrative drama happening in this version of the story. He’s got a crappy home life, he’s got gender dysphoria, he’s in a weird love triangle with like three of his friends. Usual stuff. Up to this point it’s sort of been a sad version of a slice of life, like. Sort of similar to bojack horseman I’d say, if I was to compare it to anything. I like stories like that but tbh they’re sort of uninteresting to describe.

ANYWAY HERES WHERE THE TIME LOOP IS INTRODUCED.

so at some point I was thinking about how Cal was a doomed character for so long, then got like. a second chance to live. Bc I felt bad about killing him. And then because I love Groundhog Day more than any normal person should, I went “omg what if there was a time loop type thing. Or like a time reset. Or something. Like a single time loop.” And then I was like omg bc now there’s more to the story than just a straight linear narrative.

So now there’s two stories for the price of one. Cal’s first chance, and Cal’s second chance.

So first chance is way more similar to the earlier one I described, before he gets his fate changed. His life in his first chance sucks. He’s being treated badly at home, he’s being treated badly at school, he’s an asshole so all his friends sort of hate him, he’s ruined several peoples lives just sort of by existing in them. Terrible. A lot of the bad stuff that he goes through is also entirely his fault like he really really sucks here. He drives all his friends away besides Kimu, who is extremely patient and also Cal is his best friend.

Kimu is the one to confront Cal #1 (I’m just gonna call this Cal, Cal #1 now. So it’s easier to understand what I’m talking about bc time stuff is weird and confusing.) and Cal #1, worlds worst guy, just completely loses it on him. He pushes him into a shelf, which causes Kimu to actually get hurt, and Kimu is obviously shocked and angry, so he storms out and tells Cal they’re done. Cal #1, realizing he’s fucked up, is like “well I’ve hurt literally everyone in my life irreparably. Guess I’ll die.”

Ofc old pal Kimu, feeling off about the argument like an hour later, comes back to apologize. Unfortunately this is change #1, so it’s too late. Last thing Cal #1 processes is Kimu freaking tf out. He ends up dying at 19, like days before he turned 20.

So on that cheery ending, Cal wakes up. This time it’s Cal #2 though. He wakes up and realizes that he is a baby, he’s back at his old house, and he is a baby. The thing is though, he has all his memories from his first life. This makes him, first of all, and incredibly intelligent baby. (He still has baby brain though, not the brain of a 19 year old. That would be a whole different world of problems.) But second of all, he is REALLY REALLY weirded out and uncomfortable.

He freaks out for the first couple years of his new life, which is the exact same as his old life except now he has cheat codes. Then around the age of like, 5, he has the realization that he has cheat codes, and if he can map everything that went wrong in his first life, he might actually be able to change his outcomes. so he does that, he does that for awhile. At this point most of the external things are the same. He’s best friends with Alex, he becomes friends with Kimu via Alex, it’s all the same.

Kimu, Alex, and Cal in that order ^^^ (It’s also worth noting that while he overtime is able to address a lot of his shittiness as being shitty, and him being to blame for most of it. he can’t seem to see Kimu as a victim of his crappy behaviour. He even still sort of resents him for how things went, bc first life Kimu was sort of a dick too.)

so anyway things are normal the first like maybe 6 years after that too. He changes some of the big things that went wrong in his early life, he avoids some people he knows are bad news now, which also stops his mom from going criminal (long story. She’s a shit mom most of the time but she’s still protective, and will still do anything for her kid.) he thinks this might save her from dying, he actually does everything he can to prevent her death. It doesn’t. None of it works. She dies differently, this time of a sickness rather than suicide. She also dies later on in the story this time. We’ll come back to this.

anyways, it’s around this point Yami and Amelia get introduced. Amelia is Cal #1’s greatest sin, she’s the person he really fucked over, and it’s to the point where Cal #2 doesn’t even think he should talk to her. Yami is Amelia’s cousin and Kimu’s childhood best friend, though they had a falling out.

(Yami and Amelia. Yami is the husky, Amelia is the spaniel.)

In the first life, Yami also dies. Completely unrelated to Cal, like they barely even knew each other. Yami died because of a prank gone wrong, done by some bullies.

However this really started off Cal #1’s downward turn, because this incident totally fucked up both Kimu and Amelia, and Kimu being all fucked up is partially what drove Alex away. (The other part was Cal’s fault LOL). Kimu got really withdrawn and aggressive, wanting revenge for what happened. Amelia got weird and withdrawn, and starts focusing on getting into this prestigious arts college way harder than before, and Cal, who doesn’t fully understand grief or why people feel it, figures maybe it’s because her parents are awful and controlling (and like. Ok they are. But. They don’t gaf about her grades or studies. He just totally misread the situation.)

He’s also mad that she’s not hanging out with him, or doing the weird chaotic stuff that they used to do all the time. He tells her she just needs to unwind, and let go of the expectations put upon her. Amelia is reluctant at first, but then as she unwinds, she starts to get way more crazy than she ever was before bc of all the shit she’s been bottling up. They do some extremely dangerous shit, on what is basically a bender, and then he ends up crashing the car bc he wasn’t watching the road. They get arrested, she’s now disabled, her parents disown her, she loses her scholarship, and it’s all mostly his fault. He’s too emotionally stunted to even properly apologize.

(Illustration of about how he responded to all this)

She tells him she’ll kill him if she sees him again, and that’s the end of their relationship in the first life.

Back to the second life. Cal peer pressures Yami into letting him come to hang out with him and his bullies (the ones who ended up accidentally slashing him). Yami relents, but is really uncomfortable because he doesn’t know this guy. Flash forward a few hours, the bullies do the prank, but this time because Cal is there, Yami doesn’t die. This incident leads to two things happening. 1) Yami connecting enough dots to vaguely remember his first life. Not as clearly as Cal, but now he’s suspicious. 2) Cal and Yami becoming friends.

Yami ends up later introducing Cal and Amelia, and they end up becoming friends, though for a long time Cal tries to keep her at arms length. This is hard bc they get along really well.

eventually he gives in and they become besties again, but without all the trauma and horrors. This is great, and this is around when Cal starts to think he’s actually done well. He’s 19, he’s sort of awkwardly repaired his relationship with his mom, all his friends are happy and alive, everyone’s closer than ever. Like things are going REALLY well.

Anyway remember earlier when I mention his mom dies in both lives? Yeah so. When he’s 19, she dies of a sickness that he thought was improving. It’s really sudden, and it really trips him out. Not only is he just actually devastated, but now he starts wondering if some things are just bound to happen. He worked so hard to change her fate, and she still died relatively young and unexpectedly.

Then he finds out it technically wasn’t the sickness that killed her. She did it to herself because she realized it was getting worse, and she would probably die from it, and decided she’d rather die in a way she self was dignified. She didn’t tell him any of that.

Now he’s really like. “Oh god maybe things are just meant to happen.” this undoes a lot of the work he did on himself throughout this life, and he reverts back into a similar weird jerk that he was before. Less destructive obviously, but he withdraws, he starts ghosting everyone, he doesn’t leave his apartment. Eventually Kimu rolls up to confront him, and remember when I said Cal never grappled with how his actions affected Kimu, and how he still sort of resents him? Yeah.

So this happens.

It’s at this point he Finally, after nearly 20 years, realizes the one person who stuck by him at all times in both his lives, and the person he arguably hurt most, even more than Amelia.

And then he realizes that no matter how much he tried to change, it ended up like this.

And he thinks back to his mom, and how some things just seem doomed. Kimu storms out in tears, just like how he did during Cal’s first chance, and Cal decides that he and his mom must share the same fate.

This is one day before the anniversary of his death. Fortunately this time Kimu didn’t actually leave. He waited outside Cal’s door for a few minutes, thinking about what just happened, and then decides something is off and comes back in to talk things out.

He catches Cal this time, right before he attempts, and stops him from doing anything. Ofc Kimu starts yelling at him, asking him what the hell he’s doing, but all Cal can think about is that for whatever reason: Kimu came back early. And more importantly, that before Kimu came back, he hesitated.

this is about when he has a realization that nothing is actually doomed, and that this whole he’s wanted nothing more than to live. He realizes he wanted to live so much it created a tear in time and space.

So then he gets therapy and starts actually properly living his life to the fullest.

[wonderful-little-hoebag]

Repeatedly restarting the day and making my PC live out the worst events possible is like a really fucked up version of Groundhog Day

[ragnarlothcat]

For the wip title game!! Nothing compares to you or if someone has beaten me to that, knows best !! I love hearing you talk about your fics 🥺🥺🥺

My neglected groundhog day fic!!! Can you believe that when I started it I thought I'd be done in a couple months? You won't believe how much I've thrown out since I started it. Fun fact: I wrote 40k words of it in the past tense before I realized present sounded way and better for a time loop fic and rewrote the whole thing and now I'm stuck in it forever (Anakin and I have a lot in common that way!)

Anyway, thank you! I wrote a few thousand words in August that I don't hate, I just need to finish all the scenes. I've got an Anakin and Padmé conversation that I'm struggling with 🤔 I think I fundamentally struggle to imagine an Anakin recovering from a breakup in a non-deranged fashion. So instead, here's Anakin badgering poor Rex for the millionth time. The poor guy really gets the worst of Anakin's unhinged ranting in this fic.

groundhog day 8

Anakin awakens to bright sunlight streaming through his window and a bitter taste in his mouth. He knows nothing has changed, that he’s still in the same day as always. He knew it the minute they cleared that warehouse and the Force remained frustratingly silent around him.

The Force is the reason he’s here, is the reason the world stays the same while Anakin struggles and rages against it, and yet it refuses to explain itself. It wants something from him, doesn’t it? Then why won’t it come out and say it? The Force grants him visions of his mother’s murder, but can’t spare a second to tell its son why he’s being punished?

It seems Obi-Wan isn’t the only one keeping secrets.

Are you saying you’ve never lied to me? Anakin hears, Obi-Wan’s voice a nagging, lecturing echo in his mind.

It’s not the same thing, Anakin says to himself, to the room, to the very Force that binds the universe together.

Obi-Wan, or the version of him that he hears whenever he’s doing something he knows Obi-Wan would disapprove of, is creating an equivalency that isn’t there.

He and Obi-Wan lived together for ten years. Anakin survived puberty alongside Obi-Wan. He should be thankful Anakin spent as much time lying as he did, because he can guarantee Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted to hear the truths of a teenage Anakin.

It’s just that he and Obi-Wan are supposed to be friends. Equals, now that Anakin’s been knighted, now that Anakin has a Padawan of his own. Anakin hasn’t had so many friends since joining the Jedi, but he had friends on Tatooine. He knows what friendship entails.

(Kitster never would have faked his own death in an elaborate attempt to save the Supreme Chancellor’s life.)

But Obi-Wan hadn’t trusted him with the details of his little deception. He had, in fact, deliberately misled Anakin for the sake of the mission. Anakin would never do that. He’d never keep anything that important from someone he cared for.

Anakin pads into the main room, something niggling uncomfortably in the back of his throat. There are different levels of secrecy, Anakin knows this. He’s had to keep missions quiet from Ahsoka, because Ahsoka is a child and cannot possibly be exposed to the depths of the galaxy’s sleaze.

Sometimes Anakin keeps things to himself, everyone does. But nothing like what Obi-Wan has.

Anakin would never betray him.

The Force feels tight around him, or maybe that’s just his own frustration, swirling around him like smoke. Anakin said that time would help him heal, and he meant it. He’s suffered so much loss during the war. So many men have died under his command. He feels each one like vibroblade to the chest. But he can’t linger on every death, on every tragedy, on every mistake that costs him—

He finds his bantha mug upside down again on the counter. He flips it over and strokes its ceramic fur and stares into its beady little eyes.

The other two are gone. Anakin’s bantha is all alone.

He puts it back on the shelf and frowns into the empty room.

The door chimes and Anakin hurries over to retrieve Rex. Obi-Wan got into his head last night, that’s all. Anakin knows he’s in the right, because what Obi-Wan did is inexcusable. His lie destroyed the foundation of their friendship, and for what?

Anakin opens the door and steps back to admit Rex, who takes in Anakin’s state of undress and destroyed rooms with his usual expression of vague concern.

“Rough night, General?”

Anakin sighs. “Is there another kind, anymore?”

“Sir?”

“Never mind.” Anakin grabs his shirt off the back of the sofa without looking and shrugs it on. “I have a question for you, Rex.”

“If it’s about why I’m here, you asked me—”

“No, I know you’re here to remind me about the council meeting. And I do appreciate that you keep coming out of your way.”

“Keep?”

“My question is this—come sit, Rex,” Anakin says, dropping to the sofa and gesturing at the chair across from him.

Rex sits, his armor creaking and his eyebrows drawn together.

“I want to talk to you about honesty, Rex. About keeping secrets.”

“Is this about General Kenobi?”

“No. Or, well.” It is and isn’t about Obi-Wan, like most things these days (this day?) “I do understand the need for secrecy sometimes. After all, at least 10% of our missions haven’t been sanctioned by the council.”

“Sir.”

“And I know sometimes you keep things from me.” At Rex’s baffled silence, Anakin presses on. “For example: you’ve been keeping the shameless and crude behavior of the 212th from me.”

The crease between Rex’s eyebrows grows more pronounced. “Which shameless behavior in particular?”

Is there more? Is he going to find sabacc cards printed with dirty pictures of his master?

No, he reasons, Cody would have burned those. “Their…affection for Obi-Wan,” Anakin says, avoiding any mention of Obi-Wan’s ass, lest Rex also become distracted. “And I don’t blame you. You knew I’d be upset, and you didn’t want me to strangle everyone in the 212th. I understand.”

Rex blinks. “I wasn’t deliberately keeping it a secret, sir, I just didn’t think it necessary to discuss.” He coughs and shifts. “Are you going to strangle everyone in the 212th?”

Anakin considers this for a moment, then shakes his head. He has a busy day ahead of him. “Maybe later. The point is, that’s the kind of secret that I understand. You’re loyal to your brothers, even when they’re being sleemos.”

“I don’t know about sleemos—”

“But you’d never betray them. You’re like me that way, Rex. You’d never, say, fake your own death and let Fives mourn you.”

Anakin knows Rex. Anakin trusts Rex. He’s seen the way he is with the other men, with Ahsoka, with Cody, even.

“I—” Rex takes in Anakin’s expression and sighs. “No, but if I were ordered—”

“Exactly.” Anakin folds his legs under him. “You understand the difference. You understand the value of honesty. Of friendship.”

Rex isn’t squirming, because soldiers don’t squirm. Even Anakin has mostly had that trained out of him by now.

But the way his eyes dart across Anakin’s face conveys the same idea. “I can’t comment on the nature of your friendship with General Kenobi,” Rex says, “but yes, I do agree that people should be honest with each other. Within reason.”

“Have I kept things from Obi-Wan?” Anakin asks, rhetorically, because Rex does not look eager to participate in this thought exercise. “Of course! But these were things he was better off not knowing, or that were none of his business. But he had the audacity to suggest that they were comparable, or even relevant.”

“Um,” Rex says.

“But if Obi-Wan, my perfect Jedi master” —with his perfect robes and his perfect hair— “is claiming we’re both equally dishonest, maybe I need to show him how wrong he is. I need him to see that I would never treat him the way he’s treated me.”

“I hesitate to bring this up, but you do have a meeting very soon.” Rex glances at the floor and then back up. “You aren’t even wearing shoes.”

Anakin grabs his boots and shoves them on, and then curses and puts them on the correct feet. Why is this bothering him so much? Who cares if Obi-Wan thinks Anakin’s keeping secrets? Even if he is, it’s not like that cancels out Obi-Wan’s betrayal.

And besides, Obi-Wan won’t even remember the conversation they had last night. He won’t remember their trip to the lower levels. His conversation with Ahsoka. The mugs.

Anakin straightens his tabards furiously and stands up. It doesn’t matter in the slightest.

“I’ll show him,” Anakin bites out. “I’ll show them.”

“Them?” Rex asks, standing too.

Them. Obi-Wan. The Council. The Force. Anyone who would even suggest that Anakin’s offenses are anywhere near what Obi-Wan has done.

If honesty is what Obi-Wan wants, what the universe wants, then honesty is what they’re going to get.

[bklynmusicnerd]

I wouldn’t say they are keeping E in limbo so much as they really don’t have anything for her to do. If they insist on her staying on the show, she needs to branch out and be a more fleshed out character. Right now she’s basically been saying the same dialogue whenever she is shown on screen

I mean them not having much for her to do, and her repeating the same lines or the same two beats is essentially keeping her in limbo. They worked so hard to justify her evading consequences just for her to do nothing but whine on the outside. Soap characters don't need to be likeable but if they're not then they should probably be interesting or at bare minimum entertaining.

She is none of those things right now. I also feel like we're past the point of fleshing her out now. That's something that should have happened while Ryan was alive and we should have seen some new facet of her personality while she's been hiding behind amnesia.

These past couple of months have been the time to flesh her out and they came up with nothing. Just a bunch of characters randomly praising for not killing her baby yet. Same dialogue, same emotional beats, hell basically the same outfit. This is the worst version of Groundhog's Day I've experienced in a while.

[nevergonnasimpyoumikey]

Apart from coffee shop (because that’s obvious (or definitely my favourite anyway)) what’s your favourite AU that you’ve created?? ( or maybe it’s one that’s a WIP ? 👀👀👀)

Thank you for the lovely message, first of all :"D <333

The only other AU I've published so far is the short one where they're professional athletes. I like it but I'm not the right person to write more because just now I had to google if the word athlete includes football and hockey players... :DD I know nothing about sports (except the one I used to play as a kid).

But angst is more in my wheelhouse (is that the expression??? It sounds weird suddenly :DD I just woke up) so my fav is probably one of these two wips:

- soulmate AU series that has three different versions, one of which is happier than the others (HMMM). All of them include your soulmate's words written on your body, which, yes, is a cliche but I love it so <33

- Groundhog Day AU which is obviously Michael stuck in a loop on the day he made his worst decisions... the mission that I've seen more than any other because I follow speedrunning a bit... the one with so many things I don't understand that it's hard to write it to make sense... yeah. But it'll hurt so good when I finally do it.

I've started these ages ago but haven't finished. I think I'm gonna do the soulmate one this year, though. 👀

Oh and I have to mention the Star Trek AU where Trevor is a half Vulcan battling with all these highly inappropriate feelings towards his colleague Michael. Bad scifi, someone snapping and smut ensues. :DD

I seriously have so many. Iwanna do an Inception AU or a crossover. Same with Breaking Bad. I wanna write a Titanic AU. I wanna do all the AUs in the world and I just don't have time. ;_;

[mikeo56]

Israel has committed yet another atrocity on a refugee camp it designated a safe zone, killing many civilians and then rescuers in a follow-up attack, so naturally our leaders are mad at… Russia.

Let’s be honest, you could copy and paste this opening line and use it in an article pretty much every day and it would be just as relevant. We are living in the worst possible version of Groundhog Day, one where Israel decided it would be a great idea to blow up a tent city because… well, it’s Israel we’re talking about.

The casualty numbers at al-Mawasi refugee camp are so high, the partially intact Nasser hospital is unable to take any more injured and the likelihood is many saveable people will die from their wounds. One poor woman lost her entire family and wailed: "They're all gone, my whole family's gone… Where are my brothers? They're all gone, they're all gone! There's no one left. Our children are in pieces, they are in pieces!” How the hell do you deal with a trauma like that?

The latest massacre was so horrific, even BBC Verify didn’t bother trying to cover for Israel and basically said, “yeah, this really happened”. When the BBC is giving up on the Israeli government, you know they’ve really crossed a line. The massacre was so bad Sky News is actually naming Israel as the attacker.

[deathsmallcaps]

Very interesting film, nowhere near as bad as the clickbait title sounds. I hadn’t seen it before tonight. Trigger warnings below the readmore

These are in no particular order

Murder, institutional racism, gun violence, gun-related death, asphyxiation, death by asphyxiation, antiblackness, internal terrorism, sadism, torture

Lots of callbacks to the murders of Black people by cops

Some reviews called it torture and/or trauma porn. I’m not sure how well it fits in that category, considering who it was made for, the people who wrote it, and the fully intentional theme, but I’m no expert.

Also I wouldn’t call this a trigger, but the film was left open ended, which fits but is still sad.

[eva-knits12]

Fertility Problems

Trigger warning: Infertility, endometriosis, fluff

Summary: You and your fiance, Jake Jenson, are trying for a baby. You receive some news that explains everything. You finally receive the news that you and Jake have been waiting for.

I'm sitting in the doctor's office, wearing the paper thin gown. Jake is next to me, and the mood is rather somber. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I feel like a failure. Again.

"Cheer up, honey bun. We're going to get through this. We're going to find a way. We'll have a baby somehow," Jake says, wiping a tear away from my cheek.

The doctor comes back, this time with an ultrasound machine. He needs to see what's happening.

"So far, everything looks normal," says the doctor.

Jake is holding my hand, and this provides some comfort for me.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?" asks the doctor.

"Two weeks ago," I say.

"I see that you've already released an egg, so you should be able to conceive, even if you and your fiance, Mr. Jenson go home and have sex right away," says the doctor.

"But why can't I take?" you say, devastated.

"We're doing everything right," says Jake.

"I'll do some bloodwork, and we'll see what's going on," says the doctor.

I cry some more, and Jake hugs me.

"Oh, honey bun," says Jake.

"This shouldn't be happening to us," you say.

Jake and I had dreams. We only wanted a little one of our own, a piece of me and a piece of Jake. We both had dreams of taking our little one to soccer, to ballet lessons, holding their hand while walking them to their class room on their first day of school, going to recitals, soccer games, school plays, etc. We dreamed of birthday parties, Christmases with snow falling in the background, a fire in the fireplace, a Christmas tree that is decorated and lit, that it could be seen from outer space, sipping hot cocoa and watching A Christmas Story on TBS for the entire day, with me snuggling next to Jake, and our child parked on the floor, eventually falling asleep, and one of us carrying him or her to bed. At this point, it felt like too much to ask.

The medical assistant comes back, and draws my blood. I'll have to wait a few days for the doctor's call, but the doctor dismisses us. At this point, the doctor is doing everything that he can do, before he recommends a specialist.

Jake helps me get dressed, and I just start bawling.

"Jake, I don't know what to do. We keep trying, and it feels like we're living in a fertility version of Groundhog Day," I say, even more upset.

Jake puts his arms around me, and a tear falls down his cheek. We just want a baby, and it seems like my friends and my family are easily getting pregnant, and I just can't.

"Why us?," I say, in tears.

Jake and I pay the co-pay, and we go home. When we get home, we turn off our phones, and we just hold each other and start crying. Our dream of having a baby together just seems to be slipping away from us from each passing day.

A few days later, the doctor calls, and wants to go over my test results. He wants to recommend a specialist.

We go go back to the doctor, and I'm sitting in the exam room, fully clothed, and Jake is holding my hand, which has always provided me with some comfort. I started my period, and I'm in the worst pain ever.

"Well, (y/n), we found out why you've been having trouble conceiving. We looked at your ultrasound scan again, and I took a look at your blood work. I'm going to do an ultrasound sound, since you started your cycle today," the doctor says.

The nurse comes back with the ultrasound machine, and I'm in pain. Jake is brushing my hair away from my forehead, and is kissing me on my forehead.

"Honey bun, this could explain everything," says Jake.

"Jake, I hope so," I say, trying my best to ignore the pain right now.

The ultrasound tech comes back with the machine, and the doctor is in the room. He finds something that is concerning to him.

"Well, (y/n), I see what's responsible for your pain. This isn't your run of the mill menstrual pain, you have endometriosis. This is one of the things that is responsible for your fertility issues. I also took a look at your blood work, and it you have a hormonal imbalance. You're not getting enough progesterone, and that's also responsible for your infertility," says the doctor.

I feel a sense of relief. Jake just hugs me, and tells me that everything is going to be okay right now, we finally have some answers. The doctor recommends a specialist, and he also starts me on some progesterone therapy.

"Jake, I feel like things are starting to make some sense. Now, we just need to make an appointment with the specialist," you say.

Jake and I go home, and we have reason to celebrate right now. We order a pizza and decide to play Mario Kart. That night, Jake and I realized that my fertility issues are only bringing us closer together, and that we need to be going through this right now for our little miracle.

A few days later, Jake and I are at the specialist, and I'm sitting on the exam table, and Jake is holding my hand. He kisses my hand, and we start to have a discussion about our options right now.

"IVF sounds promising. I'm good at masturbating. All I have to do is masturbate in a cup," says Jake.

I laugh because Jake is lighting the mood somehow, and it's just making me feel better right now.

"Yes, but it's an expensive process, and our insurance will only allow so many takes, according to their state's laws," you say.

"Well, sex is a lot cheaper," says Jake.

"It's fun, too" you say.

The specialist comes in, and does her standard greeting, and takes a look at my medical records that my doctor sent her.

"Well, Miss (y/l/n), I see from your chart that you have endometriosis with low progesterone. I also see that you're trying to conceive with your fiance, Jake Jenson," says the specialist, Dr. Goldberg.

"It's very frustrating and devastating to keep trying, and nothing happens. Everyone around me is getting pregnant easily, but me, nothing," you say.

"I see so many patients who are in your shoes, so frustration is the first thing they feel when they are trying to conceive, and just can't. So, I'm going to do an exam, and we'll start discussing our options," says Dr. Goldberg.

Dr. Goldberg does her routine exam, and after everything, she felt that I was a good candidate to start fertility treatment. She still wants me to be on my progesterone therapy, but once a month, I'm to go and get an injection.

"Honey bun, everything is falling into place right now," says Jake.

"Jake, I just feel like this is going to happen," I say.

"(y/n), honey bun, this will happen. We've been trying for months, but nothing. We thought that this was an easy process, just like we learned in high school biology and in sex ed, but they don't tell us about infertility," says Jake.

"Jake, my favorite goofball, you only have one job, and that's to knock me up," you say.

"I can't wait until we have a little goof ball and honey bun of our own, a piece of you, and a piece of me," I say.

"It just feels like we've been trying for so long, and it's exhausting," you say.

"Maybe we should wait for the fertility treatments to do their thing, and the hormone replacement therapy to do it's thing," says Jake.

"You're right. Then when my body is used to it, we can start trying again," you say.

"Oh, honeybun, I just wish this wasn't happening to us. You'd be pregnant by now. I just wish this wasn't the elephant in the womb," says Jake. You laugh. You and Jake decide to stop trying for a while, and it's best to let the treatments do their thing.

Three months later, Jake and I are at Dr. Goldberg's, and she has to ask us questions, do a pregnancy test, and see if the treatments are working. After Dr. Goldberg takes my urine sample, she performs the pregnancy test. Who knew that fertility treatments also involved peeing in a cup?

Dr. Goldberg sees that my pregnancy test has come out positive. I've been feeling nauseated lately, and I've been throwing up. I chalked it up as a side effect to the treatments, and nausea was one of them.

Dr. Goldberg comes back, and has a smile on her face.

"(y/n), I hope you're in the mood for some good news!" says Dr. Goldberg, with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Yes, I think this would change everything," you say.

"You and Jake are going to be parents!" says Dr. Goldberg.

I can't say anything right now. I'm completely in shock. Did I just hear that correctly?

It hits me after a few minutes. I start crying tears of joy.

"Jake did you hear that?" I say to Jake.

Jake comes over, and gives me the most loving kiss ever.

"We did it! We did it! We made a baby!" says an excited Jake.

"Finally, after months of trying, and a few months of treatments, we finally made a baby. We finally made OUR baby!" you say.

Dr. Goldberg hugs the both of us.

"I knew that this would happen. It's always amazing to me when I get to be a part of a couples good news like this. You two need to celebrate!" says Dr. Goldberg.

Jake and I pay the co-pay, and we go home. Jake and I are barely in the door when he opens it, kisses me passionately, and carries me bridal style back to the bedroom. We make love like there's no tomorrow.

"Jake, I can't believe it. We're having a baby!" I say.

"Honey bun, I knew that it would happen sooner or later. Even if we had to keep trying for years, it would happen. It's finally happened! I'm going to be a dad, and holy shit, you're going to be a mom!" says Jake.

"We're finally having our own little goofball or our own little honey bun," you say.

A few days later, I go to the drugstore and purchase three pregnancy tests. I come back, and Jake is sitting there, playing Minecraft.

My mind flashes back to two months ago, when we went to my cousin's wedding. We left after we had the cake, and we made it back to our hotel and barely made it to our hotel room. When we got in the room, we started the process of making love to each other passionately. We had decided to stop trying, we stopped scheduling sex around the time I was scheduled to ovulate, we decided to stop having sex so that my body could get used to the treatments. Little did we both know that I was ovulating that day. This wasn't even scheduled sex, or even planned sex, this was spontaneous sex.

Clothes were being thrown everywhere. We finally collapse on the bed, and Jake buries himself deep inside me. I let go after a few minutes, and it feels liberating. Jake follows, and then rolls off of me while kissing me passionately again. We fall asleep in each other's arms.

We leave for the airport the next morning. I sit next to Jake on the plane, and he kisses the top of my head, and helps me with my seatbelt.

"Jake, just because I'm going through fertility treatment doesn't make me an invalid," you say.

"Must you make this public knowledge, honey bun?" says Jake.

A few weeks later, I started feeling nauseous and I start throwing up after the nausea kicks in. I chalked it up to the treatments, but little did Jake and I know that we had created our miracle.

After I get home, Jake greets me with a kiss. Jake sees the Walgreens bag, and he gets excited. I give Jake the snacks that he had requested for later.

"Jake, I really need to pee right now. I've been holding it in to take the tests. If I don't go to the bathroom now, I'm going to pee my pants," you say.

"Okay. We're only taking these to set our minds at ease," says Jake.

I go to the bathroom, trying to hold in my pee for a bit longer while I open each test, and take it out of their wrappers. At this point, I'm holding my crotch, trying NOT to pee my pants. I really have to go, and I'm about to burst. I undo my pants, grab a test, and start to pee like there's no tomorrow. I take each one in rapid succession.

"Jake, can you come here?" I have washed my hands, and Jake just holds me close.

"Whatever is on the other side of these tests, we can handle. We are only doing to set our minds at ease", says Jake.

After the three minutes are up, Jake and I both turn the tests over at the same time. All three are positive. Dr. Goldberg was right, I am pregnant! Jake smiles excitedly, I smile excitedly.

Our dream has finally come true!

A few days later, Jake and I are at the OB/GYN. He is looking at the ultrasound of our teeny miracle.

"Everything looks normal," says Dr. Westing. He moves the transducer around some more, and picks up something else.

"Well, (y/n) I am detecting another heartbeat. Your other baby is hiding behind the first one," says Dr. Westing.

At first, Jake and I are in shock, then it sinks in! We're having twins!

"Jake, this is amazing! Twins! Twins, oh twins," I say.

Jake smiles excitedly!

"Honey bun, we can name them Luke and Leia, Harry and Hermione, Sookie and Eric, Bella and Edward," says Jake.

"One, we don't know if it's twin boys, twin girls, or one of each. Two, we just found this out. Three, I need to get used to this, Four, this is what we've been waiting for all along," I say.

A few months later, we discover that I'm carrying twin girls. Jake and I decide on a princess theme. Jake, wanted a Star Wars theme, but as much I love Star Wars (even more than Jake), I had to stop him.

"Jake, we are not doing the nursery in a Star Wars theme," you say.

"Well, how about a princess theme?" says Jake.

"Okay, I like that, my sweet goofball," you say.

Jake and I are deciding on names, and we decide on Elsa and Anna, the twin sisters from Frozen. Every morning, and every night, Jake kisses every inch of my pregnant belly, and reminds me everyday how beautiful that I am. Jake tells me that I'm glowing with love, and that our tiny miracles are going to be beautiful and amazing just like their mama.

Jake and I have an intimate wedding at an amazing venue. The venue looks elegant and beautiful. I am wearing a simple, white maternity dress, and Jake is dressed in a simple navy blue suit.

The rings are exchanged, and it's amazing. Our little ones are kicking a lot, and they are enjoying the festivities. My fertility issues were one thing that made me and Jake love each other more, and brought us even closer, when they would have destroyed most couples.

"(y/n), we will go through everything because we had to. You are now carrying our tiny miracles, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Life was just boring with out you, and you make it less boring. You've been there for me, and we've been through thick and thin. We went through hell to get to a better place, and I love you. I love you and what we went through made us stronger," says Jake. "We were then on the same pub trivia team, and I just knew you were the one," says Jake.

"Jake, my sweet goofball, you make life complete, and you make it even more exciting. When we ran into each other at that crowded bookstore, in that long line, we struck up a conversation. From that day forward, I felt like things were complete. Where we're different, we balance each other out. For once, I feel like I'm on stable ground, not on uneven footing. You make life exciting because you see every day as a new adventure," I say. "From our first meeting, and being on that pub trivia team together, I immediately knew that you were the one. We found out we have so much in common," I say.

Jake and I go on a much needed honeymoon, and we just go to Cape Cod, and stay at a quaint little hotel that is right on the beach. Every morning and every night, Jake and I enjoy a walk along the beach, barefoot, and are holding hands and steal kisses every once in a while. It's the best honeymoon, and the twins are always kicking me or sitting on my bladder when I just want a damn nap.

"Girls, mommy needs her rest. You can't keep kicking her and sitting on her bladder all the time like this. It's not nice," says Jake.

I laugh. I can't help that I love this sweet goofball.

A few months later, I go into labor. Jake is more anxious than I am. He goes over the hospital bag list every day. The nursery is all set up, the car seats are in the SUV, and the doctor is there. I deliver our tiny miracles, Anna Eve and Elsa Marie. Me and Jake hold our tiny miracles, and are peppering them with kisses every chance we both get.

"Jake, I love you so much. We went through everything to get our tiny miracles," I say.

"I love you, too. You're the most beautiful mommy in the world, honey bun," says Jake.

Jake and I exchange a deep and loving kiss.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I remember very vividly when you sent me the first chapter of anything, something and it was supposed to be a oneshot. 😛 As for scenes that stuck with me, Flynn dying on the Lusitania in a slightly different way at the beginning of every chapter is a very clear mental image which hurts me to this day

*whispers with madness* It was supposed to be a oneshot it was supposed to be a oneshot IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONESHOT--

Ahahaha. I’m never going to be forgiven for that fic. At least it ended happily??? Guys? GUYS???