#this is what i MEANT when i said I CAN'T WATCH SEASON 2 WITHOUT GETTING ANGRY!!! I C A N ' T

[lizajane2]

I was scrolling through TikTok and watched a short edit of a fictional couple saying goodbye. He's begging her to stay—let me repeat that— HE'S the one begging her to stay!

Which led me to watching the first season of Midnight at the Pera Palace. Why had I never heard of it before? I adore that it's set during the 20s; I've always loved that era. But anyway, I've got to vent about the main couple, so this is gonna contain spoilers for those who haven't watched it.

The way Halit looked at Esra from across the room in the first episode, I was gone. I was a complete goner. That look was perfection. It wasn't just awe, it was "I know you. I've known you forever, and I want you, only you." SOMEONE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!

He is madly, passionately, and obsessively in love with her. And it drives me nuts. These two have altered my brain chemistry.

And I know he just killed another man, but the way Halit is holding her, his grip on her hand is even tight like he's desperate to keep her there.

The absolute yearning that is coming from him is so gut-wrenching in the best way possible.

And he said this, when he first met Esra in 1917:

Halit had me kicking my feet, giggling, and squealing like a little girl. Had me falling in love, too, damn. "You were made for me, weren't you?" WHAT?! That is insane behavior, good sir, and yet I melted like butter. And excuse me, but you don't need to look at her like that.

Prime example number 2:

They look at each other like they've been in love for years. And he doesn't even know her name! She never even told him. THEY MAKE ME SICK!!

But this, THIS RIGHT HERE:

For fuck's sake, kill me now!! How he grabs Esra to pull her close, leaving no space between them, is absolutely divine!! And then it gets so much better with his speech:

"I've been waiting for so long to see you again. I can't wait any more. Whoever you are, I don't care. Because the thing is we... we are meant to be with each other. You know it, too. I can see it in your eyes. I need you. And I'll do whatever I can to have you. And I can see that you need me, too. Destiny has brought us together."

I NEED THAT INJECTED INTO MY VEINS, TATTOOED ON MY SKIN!!

The soft caress of her cheek, how he tilts her chin up when he says "I need you. And I'll do whatever I can to have you." See, no, that's not... he's driving me absolutely wild!!

Halit: "But I'm in love with you."

Esra: "But I'm not in love with you."

She's stronger than me, cause girl why the fuck are you lying?!

And it's also insane behavior that Halit followed Esra through time when all he had to hang on to were fleeting moments. He even had a child on the way, but that didn't stop him. Nothing felt right without her. LUCKY FUCKING HER!!

His hand placement here:

IT MAKES ME WEAK IN THE FUCKING KNEES!!

"Don't leave me, then." "No. No. If you leave, my life will not be worth living, my love."

Who chooses to go back to their own time over him?!

Me:

[dbphantom]

[H2O s2 spoilers] Charlotte has literally done nothing wrong up until now and yet the show STILL paints her as such a bad person in Pressure Cooker.

She admits if she knew Don was Cleo's dad she wouldn't have shown up and looks visibly uncomfortable (but still trying to be polite) when she realizes it's Cleo's house and has to sit there and watch Cleo openly be rude to her mother by giving away a gift bought as a gesture of goodwill.

Charlotte KNOWS Lewis and Cleo are talking about her and instead of being rude and nasty about it (LIKE CLEO WAS IN EPISODE 3 WHEN SHE MADE ASSUMPTIONS) is just like "yeah, your dad is really struggling right now, you probably wanna go back in there and help him..?" like OMG that was so sweet of her. Yeah she interrupted their conversation, but come on she was trying to be nice. Characters interrupt each other all the time on this show- it's a teen drama, that's how it works. Despite everything Cleo had already done to her, Charlotte was still looking out for her dad.

Then Charlotte accidentally knocks a thing of flour into Cleo and goes up to her room after Cleo storms off to personally apologize for even BEING THERE because she can tell Cleo is Absolutely Furious about her showing up, and openly asks her if she can spend time with/date Lewis because she understands the two of them were together and she SEES how Cleo is reacting, and CLEO GIVES HER THE GO-AHEAD, BUT STILL TREATS HER AWFULLY ANYWAY. She didn't HAVE to ask for permission, but she does anyway!! AFTER APOLOGIZING FOR SIMPLY SHOWING UP TO HER MOM'S WORK EVENT.

and THEN at the end of the episode Cleo is like "even if it IS Charlotte (who I hate for literally no reason other than she stood up for herself when I tried to shame her in public for hanging out with my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with), it's Lewis's choice" but then gives her an actual death glare at the very end of the episode when Charlotte is literally just looking at her and evil music swells all because Charlotte smiles. WHAT!!!!!

IF YOU WANTED ME TO HATE CHARLOTTE SO BAD WHY DID YOU MAKE CLEO SO UNREASONABLE AND MEAN THIS SEASON AND CHARLOTTE AN ACTUAL SWEETHEART WHO HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OTHER THAN ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKING A BOWL OF FLOUR INTO SOMEONE AND PINING AFTER A GUY WHO IS- I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH- SINGLE!!!

anyway brb making a list of all the times the girls openly use their powers or are just straight-up reckless in public SOLELY IN SEASON 2 so i can compare it to them getting really mad at Charlotte and holding her to a huge double-standard because she used her powers to mess with Nate a little bit because HUUUUUUH??? if you have any examples hit me up because im currently doing a rewatch and im on ep 6 and already have a few... most notably Emma using her powers during the soccer game to dunk on a seven-year-old, but also Cleo using her powers at school to [checks notes] take a shortcut across a field with a sprinkler instead of just walking around. I have a few from memory as well that i just haven't gotten up to yet (like Emma and Rikki harassing Lewis at his job and almost getting him arrested because they left the gate open)

>>>>>oh i see... tumblr desktop does not warn you if you have over 30 tags. noted... rip my essay on how Lewis also isn't 100% in the right here [with Charlotte. with Cleo he did nothing wrong (being overbearing... ok i get it, but she could have sat him down and talked to him abt how she was feeling before immediately jumping to breaking up) and even took her aside more than once to ask her if she was okay, if this is what she really wanted, and where he stands with her- to which she lies to his face during and says everything's fine, she's just protecting the secret, she isn't jealous At All, she doesn't want to get back together] because he unintentionally is leading Charlotte on bc he's not communicating the best, and then when they DO get together he's clearly not as invested in their relationship as she is, or how Charlotte was kinda jumping the gun a little but while their relationship is kinda messy in itself, it just doesn't compare to how annoyed Cleo makes me this season, i won't lie. also i did rant about the marine park incident again. it still really bothers me lolol

[taesanrot]

[moved on] fwb!taesan x f!reader | 0.7k words shorter drabble inspired by the song moved on by laundry day!

my heart is saying things my mind just cannot speak ... i don't know what is wrong with me

taesan was an avoidant. he was good at ignoring things, pushing away the elephant in the room and pretending he doesn't care, that it couldn't bother him any less. he was good at ignoring the way your glances at him grew longer and fonder. he was even better at ignoring the way your doe eyes and soft hair made his heart race and stomach turn.

i'm clinging onto you just like i cannot breathe ... i don't know what is wrong with me

he knew it hurt you and he hated himself for it. you two had agreed to keep things between the two of you casual, seeking comfort in each others' touch in the late hours of the weekend and barely speaking the days in between. at the time it started, taesan's fleeting presence filled you up, bringing you out of the emotional trenches school had sent you into.

maybе I'm the problem saying this is alright ... am i coming on too strong?

that was your first mistake -- you should've known you were setting yourself up for failure right then and there. letting the raven haired boy light up your day with a simple stroke of his hand against your cheek; your heart never stood a chance against the curse of time.

please make sure you call, just to say it's alright ... am i waking you all night?

as the days passed, it was taesan who became the reason you ached on late nights. staring at your still unread message, you wondered why things were like this. the boy's actions twisted your mind in ways he'd never know. at times like this your mind flashed back to the way he was after the sun had set, when it was just the two of you in your own world.

we get together but things might just be better if we moved on

the way his warm lips felt against your neck, the way his fingers burned into your skin, it was all imprinted on your mind. the moments you two shared felt so intimate, and they replayed in your mind over and over like a broken record.

turning around under your heavy blanket for the tenth time that night, you screwed your eyes shut as more and more memories invaded your mind and dreams.

the two of you had been watching a movie, your head laying on his chest and his hand rubbing your shoulder softly. eyes trained on your laptop, you almost missed taesan’s face in your peripheral vision, peeking over at you. he had a habit of doing this — you always assumed he was simply checking if you were awake. you always stayed silent, just smiling and blinking delicately at him.

“i’m awake, san” you don’t know what made you blurt out defensively, but taesan shook his head softly at your words.

“i know, i was just looking at you.” your stomach still turns at the thought of the smile he was adorning as those words fell from his pretty lips.

his fond smile only looked wicked to you now, his words singing your skin and burning your resolve. how could he say all of that without feeling a single thing? you thought to yourself bitterly.

am i giving you up? ... changing seasons, can't believe it now i'm leaving you

sometimes taesan too thought he was insane. it stung to think about the sweet things he'd said or done to you -- it scared him how he meant it all completely. the boy didn't know what was wrong with him, why he couldn't just let the two of you be happy and togehter. he felt like a speed bump in the road, stubbornly and selfishly guarding his heart at the expense of your fragile mind.

hindsight is 20/20, and sitting alone in his cold and you-less bed, taesan knows what he should've done and said to you, what was staring him in the face this whole time. he was utterly in love with you and he didn't even realize.

bitterly, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads over your last text to him again.

[2:47 a.m]

y/n: i can't keep doing this anymore. i'm sorry, let's stop seeing each other.

you have been blocked by this number!

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Marcille Takes Charge!

You know what, this is actually a very fair answer to my earlier question of "why couldn't the ancients just kill the demon?" Points to you again, Ms. Kui.

Truly I can't wait to see, like, every single Mithrun fight scene in the anime. The whole First Floor Incident is presumably going to be Episode 1 of Season 2, and I'm sooo excited.

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At first, I thought the Lion was being snarky here, but in retrospect, knowing its whole story and nature, I think it genuinely is just fond of all its former dungeon lords. What wonderful meals they gave it!

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That said, the Lion DOES have enough personality to Judge Marcille for her aesthetic choices; and I think that's beautiful :) <3

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MARCILLE, NO! You're showing how corrupted you've become/how you were never suited to this role in the first place by acting directly contrary to explicitly stated themes of the story!

There is, however, something very satisfyingly country-ruling foreshadowy about Laios (and Kabru!) looking down at all of this spread out, though.

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It IS painful watching Kabru try desperately to play both sides, keeping Laios safe from the Canaries without letting him go side with Marcille. Bud, I'm sorry but you HAVE lost control of this situation. And Laios is smart enough to have put everything together about what happened while he was unconscious, even when you deliberately didn't tell him.

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[whispering sternly to myself] It's not fealty. It's NOT fealty. It's the start of a beautiful best-friendship which just so happens to include 1 guy looking at another guy and deciding that yeah, he has good potential to fill the king-shaped hole that guy #1 has been searching to fill - but just, like, on principle; genuinely NOT for any personal emotional need. The best-friendship is a completely unrelated emotional need. The ONLY fealting in this story is, so far as I can tell, between Shuro and his ninja squad, because they're from a completely different culture and, tbh, genre of anime.

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But Laios, conversation is his means and mode! His sword and shield! If he can't talk it out, how is he possibly going to convince you to do anything, including save the world and be his friend?!

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God I love this. It's this perfect combination of "You are my polar opposite; you love the thing (monsters) that I'm terrified of, and I want to know how so I can do that, too, because I'm so tired of terror" and "You love a thing (monsters), understanding it to the point of being very good at killing it, the same way I love a different thing (people); we are the same and I just want you to recognize that like I do so we can happily vibrate on the same frequency forever."

It's very tragic-funny that Kabru genuinely try to introduce himself to Laios in a normal way, before resorting to taking his entire party to stalk him to dangerous levels of the dungeon and eating monsters. It's not his fault that Laios is completely immune to small talk.

I DO think that every pair (or throuple, etc) of narrative foils in every piece of media ever should at least try making out. At a certain point of narrative foiling, you might as well, you know?

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Note: Pattadol says she's "reporting" to Flamela, indicating that she's subordinate within the greater Canary structure even though she's 2nd in command of the most superior hunting party.

Also, it seems that the Canaries we know, the senior-most party, are genuinely the badassest of the badass and meant primarily for advanced dungeons including confronting dungeon lords and the demon directly. Tier-3 groups have less experienced guards, maybe criminals as well, and go on more scouting-type missions with no serious combat expected.

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She's not wrong, she's just a jerk about it!

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I get where the elves are coming from, I do. It's impossible to tell people people that there's a demon underground who'll grant their every wish while also communicating the dangers of this sufficiently that nobody goes searching for it. Even we the reader, don't entirely understand how bad it can get, how fast, until we watch Marcille do All Of That under the demon's active influence.

HOWEVER, it IS human nature to respond to this sort of thing with "well I/my friend won't go insane." There's gotta be a compromise wherein at SOME POINT far down the 'everything is going wrong in this dungeon' line, they just fucking tell people. They at least TRY. Otherwise they're just rolling their eyes at the short-lived races dangerous ignorance while actively refusing to reduce that ignorance.

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Again: Shuro is living in a slightly different, much cooler genre of manga than the rest of us. Also:

TEAM TOUDEN LET'S GOOO!!

The best part of this is that earlier, when our heroes were trying to figure out who might help them eat Falin's dragon half, I was like, 'hmm...they liked you, sure, but eating dragons is pretty weird...'

But now we are outright ALLYING AGAINST THE ELVES!

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Lmao. Classic adventuring party members, baffling NPCs as a team.

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oh this is cruel. this isn't fair.

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boys, focus.

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the comedic timing...

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lookit, that 30 seconds of desperate verbal flailing actually did help! Kinda!

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yeah, I DO really like that everyone looks to Chilchuck for his opinion on Marcille's 'make everyone live to 10,000' plan, as the guy with the shortest present lifespan and also the most age-wise of all of them.

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I Do Not Like This Visual. I Do Not Like the disproportionately large lion with human arms and hands shoving himself out of this book.

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Not to be pedantic, but I think if you're trying to entice a team of people into doing your will by calling out each of their individual strengths, I think you shouldn't make 2 of them as repetitive as "curiosity" and "inquisitive mind." That's not really what Senshi is bringing to the table anyway - I'd say "care" or maybe "sense of balance." Also, sorry Izutsumi but how tf is her "wildness" contributing to this mission?

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oh, Marcille, no...

[bootlegramdomneess]

Hello! If is okay I would like to ask you something about how you interpret this aspect of show as a therapist.

Why do you think is Sydney the one that calls Carmy’s panick attacks? (the one in opening day, and that moment in “doors” when she calms him down when he is screaming they are to slow, and because of her, he calms down and the frantic music stops)

Does it had to do with love (even though I also think they are in love) or is because of trust and the bond they share? Secure attachment kind of thing? Is it because the particular type of abuse he has suffered? Or is something about Sydney’s personality? Would love your take on that.

Thank you 🙏🏼

ooo. Thanks for the question. Okay, there are a lot of layers to this

In season one we see Sydney coming into the beef during a time where Carmy was trying to get everyone to understand what he was trying to do, and meeting Sydney, he saw she understood where he was coming from. It had to be a big relief. I think Carmy comes from a space of feeling as though no one truly understands him or who he is. I think meeting Sydney was a shock to his system because here was someone who understood what he was trying to do at the Beef. Here was someone who shared the same vision as him. Similar ideas. Similar plans. Who is passionate about cooking. Here was a person who knew the part of his life (Being a chef) he didn't share with anyone. As time went on, he connected with her on a professional level, he depended on her, he relied on her in a way, i think, he never has with anyone in the kitchen. Sydney has this way about her that can be very disarming. Disarming to the point where he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with her in telling her about his Al-anon meetings. I think by the end of the season, he tried to subconsciously sabotage this relationship by exploding on her, but still invited her back into his life---despite her challenging his core beliefs of no one understanding him or he has to do things on his own. Or he can't get close to anyone.

2. In season 2 we see a shift in their dynamic where trust has been built. They've grown closer. They're having conversations about their personal lives. They're giving each other advice. They've built this little family inside the restaurant. Sydney is slowly now integrated into his family. They're literally building their future together. But here Carmy goes, sabotaging things (by bringing the C person into the dynamic) again because his relationship with Sydney is once again challenging his core beliefs. This is the theme I'm starting to notice.

3. Carmy admires Sydney. He values her opinion. He sees interpersonal skills she brings into the kitchen, and into their dynamic, that he wants to mirror himself. (This is partway why he is ALWAYS watching her)

He constantly asks if things are okay between them. He doesn't lie to her. (outside of omitting who the C person was). He tries his best to articulate his feelings to her without her prompting. When he said "I don't want to do this without you. I can't do this without you. You make me better at this." He meant that shit. That is so hard to admit out loud for him because the emotional stakes and the fear of rejection is so high for him. it's obvious he holds her in such high regard because he does not do or say any of those things to anyone else in his life. He ignores them. He shuts them out. He avoids. He doesn't communicate. (Just look at his entire dynamic with the C person. Just look at how he's shut her out completely).

4.This season he feels so ashamed and upset that he left Sydney alone. "I left you alone." After promising to her various times, he won't do that. He is devastated by this. he was yelling GET SYDNEY when he was locked in the freezer because he left her alone. So now he's gone into the extreme mode to try and fix it the things between them even though she didn't feel he abandoned her.

He told Sydney to check him if he's fucking up. He trusts he will listen to her when she does and correct himself. We are now at a point where he does not want to fuck shit up with her anymore. He is now allowing Sydney's presence in his life to challenge his core belief without sabotaging it. I think, Carmy has already casually admitted in his mind that he has strong feelings for Sydney, but I think he's put it in a deli and stored it on a shelf for various Carmy reasons.

So, when Sydney checks him in the kitchen, tells him to calm down, he listens. Sydney doesn't view Carmy as broken. Despite knowing he has anxiety and panic attacks. Despite his emotional issues, despite his family dysfunction. I think Sydney views him as someone who can hold it together. She doesn't coddle him because she sees he is trying and has the ability to get his act together. When she says: "So don't fuck up" is a great example of that.

Sydney is clear in her expectations of him. She holds him accountable. Sydney is gentle and disarming and forgiving in a way he is not with himself and he recognizes he needs that. Him being able to calm down when she tells him to, is her shaping his behavior. His thoughts of her helping him calm from a panic attack is because he trusts her voice. She is the port in the storm. She is the only one he trusts enough to be this way with him. Because he is in love with her.

[vole-mon-amour]

1x09, part 3.

I'm so sad for him. He would literally forgive her ANYTHING.

He's TERRIFIED at the idea of losing her. And he's so right, Vi can't bring back Powder. It was so obvious when Jinx lit a fire & Vi got a taste of what Jinx is like these days. Vi wouldn't be able to control her, nor would she be able to love her when she's like this. The problem is, it IS her nowadays. There is no Powder anymore. It's such a fucking tragedy that Silco dies.

Honestly, say it, Silco. V is into Caitlyn now way more than she is into Jinx. Actually, she's not into Jinx at all. Again, there is NO Powder. Every time Vi calls her that, I cringe. I can't stand that name, it's simply not her. Just like Silco says, "that girl does not exist anymore".

And it's only them, you see? And she's his daughter, you see? ;______; The way he loves her, help. ;___; The look he gives her. It doesn't fucking matter she kidnapped him and tied him up and gagged him, he doesn't fucking care, he only wants her and he wants her to stay with him. ;_____; All the walls around him fall apart for her sake. He's the most vulnerable with her.

"I'll never forsake you." The voice acting. The animation. I feel unwell.

Gods, he's so scared she will leave him. So confused about her dropping her gun.

He's like a caged animal when he grabs Jinx's gun. Vi only made it worse for Jinx. But yeah, just like Jinx said, it's up to Vi if she gets Jinx or Powder, and Vi's shouting and SIlco's death sealed the deal.

She really caresses behind his ear as he's bleeding out. Oh, the fucking tragedy. ;___;

"Don't cry. You're perfect." FUCK OFFFFF. The pain is real and I am feeling it. Like, no stills or gifs can truly makes you feel the same if you don't remember the tone of his voice, the feelings in his voice.

"I hope you know we had everything, When you broke me and left these pieces."

Honestly, the difference between Jinx getting Vander killed and Jinx getting Silco killed is that Vi means it and she leaves her. Yes, they were kids, full stop. She gave into those emotions, though. For the moment, she hated Jinx & she meant it. She can never love Jinx.

Jinx kills Silco? He tells her not to cry. He tells her JINX is perfect. She kills him and yet, she's his entire word. "I'll never forsake you. <...> I never would have given you to them. Not for anything." and he MEANS it. As he bleeds out while she holds his face, he tells her not to cry and that she's PERFECT.

"'Cause I, I was meant to be yours."

Yeah, they can all burn, indeed.

V is so confused because how can her sister feel all those feelings for Silco? How can she cry for him? He's a monster, he deserved to die, didn't he? Yeah, she just doesn't understand. Fuck. (breaks down) I love Silco so much.

"Even though I'm different." That's exactly the problem. Vi can't love her as she is now. Silco could. He did.

I'm going to miss him so much.

I hope she doesn't die in s2 (or turns into something that's completely unrecognizable). I really fucking hope so. ;____; And man, Silco is so beautiful. Was? Anyway.

She's alive! My girl is alive! Maybe she'll take over the undercity without Silco? "What we could've been." right when they focus on her and Silco's empty chair. Gods. I'm hurting. The song at the end is absolutely perfect and I can't stop crying.

Oh, Ekko found himself a friend. Oh, what could've been, indeed. This is such a great alliance because Ekko is somewhat a scientist himself and he's open-minded and he has nothing to gain, so he gladly shares about his experience with Heimerdinger.

The animation is incredible. And Vi still chooses Caitlyn over Jinx. Like I said she would. :(

Even Viktor looks hopeful. Season 2, "Devastating"? "No one is going to be happy after watching it"? Oh, they're going to break me.

[lizard-queen-izzy]

I'm actually not done thinking about it so here you guys get more thoughts.

Tma season 2 finale spoilers ahead.

Tim knew something was wrong when Jon apologized for everything. He knew Jon was going to do something stupid. He knew because he knew Jon meant that apology. And that meant he didn't think he was surviving whatever he was about to do. Because as desperately as Tim wanted and apology from him, he didn't want it to be the last words he heard from Jon.

He was willing to march back in to the Institute, with or without Martin to find out what Jon was going to do. He had no way of knowing what would happen when he did, and he still did it. And he brought a fucking the recorder to get it on tape. To make sure there was a record.

I've said it before, the beginning of season 2 from Tim's perspective is devastating, but having finished it now? It really only does get worse. Because Jon doesn't get better, but neither does Tim.

Their fight at the end of MAG 65 is such a parallel to their first conversation in the beginning of MAG 33! They're talking over eachother, they're muttering, they're cutting eachother off, they're yelling. They're yelling at eachother! Their calm back and forth is gone. Their patience with eachother is gone. It's all replaced with anger. At the situation, at the Institute, at eachother.

What starts as Tim coming in to ask Jon where he put something so quickly dissolves into bitterness. Tim being fed up with Jon's suspicious behavior, and Jon being tired of Tim's attitude. Jon tries to brush it off, tries to shove it back under the rug but Tim's exhausted. So he blows up. He's pissed, rightfully so, because Jon is still trying to find a way to blame someone in the Archives for Gertrude. To blame him.

He's grasping at straws, trying so desperately to twist the narrative to make it someone's fault. To pin the blame on someone so he can then get justice? He's rambling, he's spiraling, and Tim can't take it so he tells him to shut up. He stops him, cuts his explanation short. And tells him, point blank, to stop talking. He's sick of it, he's sick of Jon. Sick of his former friend blaming everyone around him for things they didn't do. Sick of him blaming him for it.

And Jon tries to start again, and Tim tells him to stop, to listen for once. He tells him he was happy in the Research department, and ever since Jon brought him to the Archives with him everything has been falling apart. And no one has his back.

"Elias doesn't care, Martin just wants a tea party, and Sahsa - ugh - and you! - you're treating me like I'm somehow to blame for it all, like I didn't suffer the worst right alongside you!"

Tim suffered. He suffered what Jon did, they were the most affected by the worms together. They are both irreparably damaged by the Jane Prentiss attack, mentally and physically. And Tim knows no one but Jon will get it the way he needs to be understood. He can't talk to anyone else. And Jon has made it impossible to talk to him either. Because instead of talking about it, instead of healing and working to move past it, Jon let it consume him all over. Let it swallow him whole and make him into a paranoid mess. And he's facing zero real consequences for his actions.

Jon was stalking Tim. Spying on and taking pictures of his flat. He was going through 'Sasha's desk. He was watching Martin. And all Elias did was stage one intervention style talk and then nothing. He just got to spiral even further, keep spying, keep replaying that damn CCTV video footage on a loop. Keep staring at Tim like he's the enemy.

And then they have a moment of common ground. A moment where they're both on the same page. When they realize they can't leave. And just when Tim thinks they're making progress, Jon tells him he can't trust him. Not just that, he won't trust Tim. And all they can do is, what? Keep working? In a building that won't let them go? Where everyday there's another disaster lurking around the corner? Where any of them could all be next? That's the only option?

And it is. And so he leaves. He goes back to work. Because he has to do something, and this is the only option.

And that's why he goes back in after Jon. Because if he can't leave, he's going to do something. He's going to find answers, even if it goes horribly. Because everything is already horrible.

And no matter what. No matter how mad he is at Jon. No matter how betrayed he feels. He still cares so deeply for him, and he needs to know what he's doing. Because he can't lose anyone else.

[ultfreakme]

Thoughts on Jessie Gender's video on NATLA

I really admire Jessie Gender's videos usually, she's the one whom I usually go to to see videos on gender and queerness in media. I like her stuff a lot and respect their work.

But the NATLA video left me going "no, wait, that's not what happened" a lot. I can't summarize the video, I suggest people go watch it if they want to know but I disagree with practically everything for the most part.

I'm not anybody on the internet. But what I do have is a lifetime of growing up on ATLA, a degree in Sociology and English Literature, coming from a culture that ATLA is based on, studying about colonial rule, researching the cultures ATLA is based on in my spare time and a love for the original. Does that establish some legitimacy? If for some reason you feel like you need to go hate on Jessie for this, DON'T. DO NOT. This is me just critiquing because I think the video content was biased and I want to honestly engage with the points made because everyone has a tendency to demonize the adaption without looking at it on its own merit. With that said:

Point 1: Sokka's sexism is taken out to make the show more palatable and his arc in the Kyoshi Island episode undermines Suki to prop up Sokka.

She says that Sokka's sexism and him addressing it is a show-long arc, and him deconstructing that is him fighting against the colonial sexism of the Fire Nation.

Sokka's sexism is explicitly dealt with in one episode. He's shown to be overtly sexist in the first 4 and never again except for little comments here and there that every other character makes as well and goes unaddressed. His sexism is not because of the Fire Nation- FN is very inclusive of women as warriors. Sokka's sexism is an anomaly because no one but him cares that Katara isn't just sitting home mending clothes(Bato, Hakoda, none of the men on the ship they are on in S3 say a word and she takes off to join Aang in the Fire Nation islands).

If Sokka's sexism is not systematic to the Southern Water Tribe or caused by the Fire Nation, what kind of commentary on sexism is this?

She also says Suki is played down and demured to give Sokka confidence when she's teaching him, taking away her arc as she pines for the new boy who she likes because he's shirtless. Sokka's throughout the episode shows insecurity and a more subtle form of sexism where he's trying ton prove he's as good as her. He's trying to show off his strength to her, and failing miserably and when he realizes she bested him, he walks away. He goes into it assuming he's better than her but walks away realizing shit she is GOOD. Then he goes to her dojo to observe the practice and follows along, Suki invites him in seeing him fucking up the forms outside and teaches him.

Suki falls for a tackle Sokka does in the og and live action. In the OG, it's shown as Sokka ACTUALLY being better. In the live action? He isn't. One lesson doesn't make him better, she transitions from actually teaching him to kinda flirting until she completely stops. She's not weakening herself for him, both of them are expressing romantic interest. How did Sokka, a boy who that morning was defeated by them, get better than SUKI in a spar she put genuine effort in? I think that's frankly more sexist than the live action take.

Additionally, Suki was meant to be a one-off character meant to teach Sokka that sexism is bad. She existed entirely to serve Sokka's character arc and had no independent motivation in season 1. In the live action, we see her talk about wanting to go into the world, and see her growing motivation through Aang's presence of wanting to not just protect Kyoshi Island, but the world. She became what she is only in season 2 and 3. Sokka's sexism arc didn't even pan out well because he never addressed the issue with Katara after that episode, the first and most affected victim of his sexism.

Sokka wearing the armor in the original, is a joke. Aang calls their uniform a dress while laughing (it's not, like it's not even constructed like one, the bottoms are loose pants called Hakama). He isn't put into the uniform to show solidarity, it's a joke, and we are meant to be laughing at Sokka for the most part. Queer fans have reclaimed and redefined that scene to be like drag, but that wasn't the original intention of the show because we get jokes on Aang's masculinity which never actively get refuted from Toph in season 2. Katara of all people points out Sokka wearing a poinytail in a demeaning manner multiple times, a supposedly girly hairstyle. If the original wanted to honor Sokka embracing gender fluidity, they wouldn't consistently mock him for being choosy about buying a bag and wearing a ponytail(which in-universe has cultural importance to him).

All signs of 'femininity' in Sokka are played for laughs in the rest of the show(down to the scene where he draws a rainbow, and his master Piandao simply rolls his eyes).

Sokka is also never once shown as a better warrior in the live action- his story is the opposite. Sokka yearns here to be an engineer, a scientist tinkering away with new inventions. His father Hakoda and the SWT discourages this because there is no value in that for them. Value is shown for them to come from physical strength, which Sokka NEVER has in live action season 1(him having biceps and being shirtless is not a glorification of strength). He's good, but he's nothing special. His true highlight is in his intellect and the show implies pretty well that Sokka doesn't need to be physically strong or a warrior to fight back against oppression.

That's his defining line in the show teasers "you do not need to be a warrior, to be a hero."

Point 2: The sexism arc isn't replaced by anything more nuanced.

It is! It's replaced by the biases against bending. Sokka discourages Katara from bending because the Fire Nation attacked the SWT to eliminate waterbenders. Both Katara and Sokka hold fear for waterbending, a part of their own culture, specifically because of the Fire Nation's hegemony and hierarchical beliefs. Waterbending = preservation of culture and Katara says these exact words in episode 1. Sokka stopping her is him being under the colonial hegemony of the FN because waterbending is what brought Fire Nation soldiers to their shores to kill their mom. That's the new arc and it has follow through to the end. Instead of Sokka telling Katara to kick ass because he isn't sexist anymore, the live action Sokka says it because he's embraced waterbending and his own culture now through seeing Katara grow and letting her choose for herself what's best for her (instead of smothering in his faux warrior persona, which they literally discuss when stuck in the cave). This arc is exclusive to the show, there's no comment on the cultural significance and erasure of waterbending in the original.

It's made more explicit in Katara's arc, where she needs to get past the fear the Fire Nation has put in her of the dangers of her own bending, and embrace that her people wanted to protect it (Kya sacrificing herself, Gran-Gran hiding the waterbending scroll).

Point 3: Showing the genocide of the Air Nomads is disrespectful

In the original, the Air Nomads are nothing but a memory. At all times. We never see the influence of the Air Nomad culture on Aang, or see them alive and thriving at any point. We see them fight back on the live action, and the actual genocide is a few short minutes, interspersed with Aang sinking. It's not a lingering process and it shows the abilities of Air Nomads. Jessie says this is purely aesthetic and to be cool, but there are significant moments that happen here.

Establishing the powers of Air Benders- this is the first and last time we'll get to see Air Bending on this scale and this shows what they can do

There's a scene where two air nomads nod to one another, and the air nomad switches from defensive to an extremely offensive move. It shows that this isn't typical for the Air Nomads, and that they are being pushed to their limits

This is a festival, they were defending themselves and it's important to show that the Air Nomads didn't just go silently without a fight and were ambushed on an important day.

To show the Fire Nation's cruelty and the extent of their power during the comet specifically.

To give weight to WHY everyone Aang runs into is so critical and hateful of the fact that he was gone, and to also show why Aang never refutes them and the weight of what he's lost (and also that even if he were there, he couldn't have done anything)

It's not just to be cool, it's honestly not cool to watch and taking Gordon Cormier, a child's quote to say that's what everyone's impression is, is disingenuous despite the disclaimer given. The kids' quotes always get taken out of context. Reviewers and Avatar fans who went to the premiere were disturbed overall by the violence. They did not think of the Fire Nation as "cool", they saw the Air Nomads like that. Like don't we want people to think of the Air Nomads in a positive light for fighting back?

Their culture gets little to no expansion in the original, and whatever Aang has left of them is actually slowly stripped away in the original.

Aang is made to okay the destruction and modification of the Northern Air Temple when destruction is shown as wrong during his rage and grief in the Southern Air Temple. The new settlers have used the gliders of Air Nomads to device weapons that fly, which were then sold to the Fire Nation. The Mechanist and his people continue this and create more weapons to fight the war in the temples(albeit this time agaisnt the fire nation but the cycle of violence continues using devices and cultures of a peaceful people). A once-peaceful place, is now a center for war innovation and Aang is told to accept this because he must let go of the past to look to the future.

The above, in comparison to Aang simply saying "I should let go of the past and look to the future" is FAR more disrespectful of Aang's culture and past. The live action keeps Gyatso's memory a constant companion to Aang, he is terrified of letting go of the past and it hinders him from simply living.

Point 4: Violence is shown as good and the cycle of violence is perpetuated.

She says Kyoshi demanding Aang to fight back and hit hard is showing that Aang needs to embrace strength and power. That everyone telling him to fight and be alone means strength is given importance, and that the same is shown when Zuko says "sometimes the weak can become strong, sometime you just have to give them a chance."

Kyoshi is wrong. She is willfully portrayed as powerful, but harsh. Roku(though his screentime was small) disagrees with her and tells Aang to find his own way of fighting and that is ultimately what Aang follows.

Kyoshi doesn't come off as correct, she's demanding and harsh, unforgiving. Aang initially lets her take over because he is scared of the power he holds and she promises she can control it to help others. Aang doesn't want power(he literally says 'I don't want these powers'). In the finale, he gives in to the ocean spirit and does what Kyoshi asks; save everyone, even if it costs his own life. But it is shown as a tragedy. Katara calls back for him and tells him he shouldn't have to sacrifice himself, that he has a place in this world as he is no matter what others tell him and he listens to THAT. He says he will save the world not alone, but with his friends, in the memory of the Air Nomads to ensure it never happens again.

Physical strength is only a priority to Katara's character. Sokka doesn't fight in the end, he's begging Yue to not sacrifice herself and is protecting her. He's not some macho man. Aang is also not embracing power.

Zuko says that line not to show that he can grow stronger, but that people should get second chances. He's a hurt kid wishing his father had the compassion to let him grow. But he doesn't and Zuko walks away from it thinking physical strength and bending prowess is important, crushing his compassion. That line on a meta level isn't even about physical strength. It's about mental fortitude and character, and the strength to be compassionate.

Jet was mentioned as being portrayed as more wrong, but in the original he was ready to sink a village of innocents. in the live action he genuinely helped Katara with her waterbending and was justified in wanting to kill the mechanist(who collaborated with the fire nation) and King Bumi (who is neutral, incompetent and has let the Fire Nation run rampant in the city). He's more sympathetic here because he's doing it with a concrete reason, and he didn't even manipulate Katara the way he did in the original. She was genuinely charmed by him.

A big problem I had with Jessie's video was putting in clips from some right-wing channel between critique of NATLA....which....why? Huh? And these were used to say NATLA is leaning into fascist tendencies and smoothing out any critique of colonialism when it really isn't. I think NATLA is very explicitly saying the same message as the original. Not in the same way, but it is. The show actively engages audiences and the characters in discussions of cultural erasure and the problems of valuing power(the latter especially through Zuko and Azula).

There are million issues with the live action (Sokka's casting, ableism in Zuko's burn scar, the writing issues, pacing issues, the lack of screen time for Aang and focus on the Fire family). The ones Jessie Gender discussed though, are not it.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Unseen Parent Redemptions and Retconned Characters

So... before season 7, parent redemptions were ALWAYS INCLUDED in the episodes. Hen had a conversation with her mother, Toni in season 4, Eddie had a conversation with his father, Ramon in season 5 and Athena had a conversation with her mother, Beatrice in season 6. Their redemptions were earned after talking to their children and ironing out the details of what went wrong and the audience saw it but something happened and most of it did when KR took over as showrunner. Now horrible parents like Helena Diaz, Sang Han, Margaret and Phillip Buckley and Shannon Diaz have all been retconned and appear to be completely unrecognizable.

In season 7 they had Eddie fawning over and acting completely delusional regarding the truth about his relationship with Shannon. She left Chris for almost 2 years but Eddie magically couldn't remember any of the things she did. He had this idealized bull$hit version of her and NO ONE told him it wasn't true. He didn't remember any of the bad stuff and the season ended with him still believing everything was his fault.

Helena Diaz was horrible to Eddie in 2x18 and during his flashbacks in 3x15 but now RG is saying Eddie has reconciled with both of his parents but reminder the audience only saw the reconciliation with Ramon and not one with Helena. She's the one who told him, "Don't drag him down with you Eddie". And she wanted him to leave Chris with her and apparently Eddie was so delusional about Shannon in season 7 that he just let Chris go with his parents. Reminder, one of the reasons Eddie put Buck is his will was so Chris WOULDN'T GO TO HIS PARENTS IF EDDIE DIED.

Then there are the Buckley parents and they just showed up in season 6 like f~cking pod people acting all nice and $hit. WTF is going on? Why can't they just show what happened between them and Buck especially after the way they treated him? Now Buck is all cool with their issues even though he begged them to love him anyway.

Sang Han wasn't any better because Albert's mother guilt tripped Chimney into believing he was wrong when Sang was the one who treated Albert better than Chimney and he abandoned him too. Mrs. Lee told Chimney his father was an ass in 2x12. But Chimney just forgave him without taking Hen's advice in season 6.

Finally, don't even get me started on what RG said about Marisol. Neither Eddie nor the audience knew her last name and by the end of season 7, he didn't even want to have sex with her so how was Eddie supposedly seeing a life and a future with her?

None of this makes any sense and it's like the mains are acting OOC even more. They aren't showing the things that are happening and it's retconning characters who don't deserve it because they didn't show the redemption.

Do the writer's even watch the previous seasons before they write these episodes because this is BS?

The truth is some parents are $hitty and they can be forgiven but the BS they did shouldn't be forgotten. What's the deal with 9-1-1 poorly portraying parents like that? Seems like someone's pushing an agenda and they want everyone to do what they did by blindly forgiving their parents but it's perfectly OK to hold parents accountable for their bad actions.

BE CLEAR, THIS IS MY BLOG AND IF I SAID SHANNON DIAZ IS A BAD PARENT, I MEANT IT. DON'T REBLOG THIS TO ARGUE FOR HER OR ANY OF THESE OTHER $HITTY PARENTS. CREATE YOUR OWN POST ON YOUR BLOG AND GUSH OVER HER TRIFLING ASS ALL YOU WANT.

SHANNON WAS A BAD MOM!

I SAID WHAT I SAID!

For that person who reblogged this trying to defend her, you've been blocked.

[amultifandom-mess]

That fucking season has me screaming, crying and throwing the fuck up!

(Spoilers ahead for TUA season 4)

Not in the way you think tho.

Fuck! First and foremost, the Five and Lila storyline. Five did not need to fall in love with Lila. It could have been anyone else (or, for all you Five is aroace truthers out there, no love interest at all)!!

There were so many other ways that the multiple Five's and the realisation that the brellies are the problem could have happened. And they choose to go with THAT! THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!!

They pulled that shit from their ass as a poor excuse to add drama! There are better ways to add drama without making Lila a cheater and making Five a home wrecker!!

Not even kidding, at the start of the season, I was all "Oh my god, I'm genuinely in love with Five. I actually love him!" Like I was down bad for this fictional fucking character... And then episode 5 happened and I fucking 180'd!! I was fully like "FUCK HIM" With my middle finger up and shit every time that mf came on screen.

I genuinely cannot even stand the sight of the character I once loved with my whole heart.

Five was the reason I fell in love with this show. Shallow, I'm aware but can't fight the truth. And I still do LIKE the show to some capacity, don't get me wrong. I just won't ever watch it again unless it's to analyse/criticize it. And I sure as shit do not LOVE it anymore.

Not even just Five's involvement. But having Diego and Lila in a loveless marriage AT ALL was just a shitty ass decision. They aren't the healthiest, sure BUT LOVELESS IS A STRETCH AND THEY REALLY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REACH FOR IT!

Fuck the writers, honestly.

I'm sure there's more I can say about that storyline but I'll leave it at that.

Now for the others!

* Luther should have grieved Sloane more. Sure, it's been six years and he still loves her clearly but.. well yeah

* Allison was forgiven too quickly. Again, six years. But no one had talked to her (outside of Klaus) for the entirety of those six years. Surely there was still some level of resentment for anger. She betrayed them for fucks sake! AND SA'd LUTHER!!

* In the end, Abigail's storyline made no sense. So Reginald brought her back to life and because the brellies (her creation, via the marigolds) keep destroying the world, she decides to help them end it, but this time completely?? I mean sure it was to reset the universe COMPLETELY this time... This one isn't actually a complaint. I like how they did this but it could have been dragged out across more episodes and explained a bit better

* My theory from season 1 that the "something that was meant to end" (when the Handler was talking to Fuckface) was right!! I said it was the brellies and I was RIGHT!!

* Ben and Jennifer were really cute but I don't love that they merged and became that monster at the end. Could have just had them turn into a kugelblitz dupe or smth!! That's what I thought was gonna happen honestly

* RAY WOULD SURE AS SHIT NOT WALK OUT ON ALLISON!

* I hate that Klaus just got his powers back, hasn't even had them for a day and just went back to his junkie life just cause it's a pattern!! PATTERNS CAN BE BROKEN!! KLAUS DID NOT NEED TO , BASICALLY, FORCE IT TO HAPPEN

* Was it just me or was the special effects in this season just so shit?? Like the vomit looked so fake. Compared to Klaus's barf in season 2, this shit looks so obviously fake. Same with some of the blood in some scenes.

* Speaking of bloody scenes, WHERE WERE THE FIGHT SCENES?? INSTEAD OF ASSASSINATING FIVE'S FUCKING CHARACTER THEY COULD HAVE HAD HIM ASSASSINATING A GROUP OF VIOLENT KEEPERS OR SOMETHING!!

I'm sure there's more I could add to this but I'll just leave it here. I'll add more to the comments if I think of it. Or you guys can, no biggie.

[ladymorghul]

I think what annoys me the most about arguing Aegon is a victim of his marriage is they won’t extend that logic to anyone else. By that decree, Daemon was a victim; Viserys married him to Rhea to secure the Vale, and he was a teenager. In the main series, is Joffrey a victim when he’s betrothed to Sansa at 14? Maybe he was only abusing people because he was afraid to be with her. It’s a laughable take that refuses to acknowledge the sexism of Westeros and the way Helaena’s only purpose in this family is to have Aegon’s babies. Even young Aemond calls her “[Aegon’s] future queen.” That is what she is, for her entire life; she exists to secure his claim.

They want to say Aegon hates incest (a headcanon never suggested or substantiated in the show, he says he doesn’t want Helaena because “she’s an idiot” and they have nothing in common, not because she’s his sister). But then they also want to argue even though he hates incest, he loves his wife and has consensual sex with her. But only when he’s drunk, because the relationship is so traumatizing to them both. I can’t even put this blame on Tom, because all he said on it was “Aegon didn’t want to marry his sister, he didn’t want this life” which is what we see in the show! (I can blame him for the idea that Aegon, who fully deserts his remaining child with the man who twice tried to murder him, is a loving and caring father, but different discussion.)

This is long, it’s just so frustrating to see this concept passed around by people who either don’t want to think critically about AWOIAF and Westeros, or are misogynistic enough to believe Aegon was the victim here, and not Helaena. They didn’t even marry in the show at exceedingly young ages for Westeros; the twins are 4 in series 2, and Aegon is ~22. The script for 1.09 has Helaena at 20 and the twins I believe are just mentioned to be toddlers. But these are then the same people who spent two years saying Madam Sylvi raped and groomed Aemond, when Aegon would also be the abuser there. If they can acknowledge a 13 year old being taken to a brothel against his will is “problematic”, can they not realize who would be hurt in this marriage? The 16 year old forced to have her brother’s babies and do nothing else or the 18 year old who spends his time raping women and watching children fight each other? Nevermind that he again takes a young teenager to lose his virginity in this season. We aren’t meant to see him as a sex pest at all 🙄

yeah, you make a lot of good points here and unfortunately we have reached a point where we can't discuss the negative aspects of aegon without aegon stans jumping you because their love for aegon has blinded them to his faults and pushed out any critical discussion about his character.

and it's like they try to say "we know he's not good" but then they don't let anyone bring up any of his faults without getting piled on for being a "hater" as if any talk about the negative aspects of his character automatically means you hate his character.

and i definitely agree there's a lot of misogyny from some of his stans in addressing his position in relation to helaena and it's really sad people can't understand how they're not equals in the family or in the westerosi society.

as for tom.. i think it's a bit more nuanced. i believe that the writers were set on overkill for him (what we saw in s1 + not knowing valyrian + being asked to ride sunfyre like he doesn't know how, etc.) and there's likely things that he discussed with the writers that he thought were good for aegon's story that never translated to the screen, which happened with multiple actors on this show. OR not being fully aware of what the character was up to because they were given limited knowledge from the writers. we also have to remember that at the time of the promo tour, at least half of the season was still being edited. you never know if everything you've filmed will make it to the screen and there's times when actors shoot the same scene with different perspectives (kieran burton talked about how they had quite a few versions of the bracken blackwood scene including one where davos is crying which is so different than what we actually got to see on screen)

but yeah, i definitely agree that it's a problem and a lot of aegon stans are lashing out at anyone addressing these negative aspects of his character. and look it's fine to hate the writers' choices for him, there's definitely writing choices i genuinely dislike when it comes to aegon, but the truth is that whether you hate those choices or not they are show canon and people will address them.

[sakascal]

Have been meaning to do this for a while, so here it goes: A list of my AO3 stories. I'll update it when I release something new, and I'll even add a list of my Good Omens series in chronological order - because let's face it, it is all over the place chronologically but interconnected and should you wish to read it in order, it's not particularly easy right now.

Stories

These following stories are all from my Goodomentober series (so named because they are all written for prompts from a list posted last October - yes, I'm a slow writer ;) ).

So far these are the only stories I have, but more are coming. (One is already written and now in edit (for an event) and will post in November. I have two more in different planning stages. And a bunch more in planning for this series below.

Before We Became What We Are

Rated: T - 2 chapters - 6,989 words - status: complete

My first ever Good Omens story (and the first thing I had written in a few years altogether).

Pre-Fall. The first chapter is Aziraphale musing about that red-haired angel he'd met and has since not managed to meet again, though he wished. And then strange things are happening in Heaven.

The second chapter is mostly from pre-Fall Crowley's POV and deals with the Fall.

Excerpt

After Lucifer went down we others went down much quicker. A few at a time, the archangels were now only watching over the proceedings and let angels of a lower rank do the dirty work. Some seemed to get some kind of satisfaction out of it, others showed only stoicism. Some of us went over with a similarly calm face, others screamed and yet more cursed the angels as they fell. But still one after the other we were pulled toward the edge and thrown over.

I was terrified, of course I was terrified. But I would not let them see it. I could at least keep some semblance of pride. All I had ever done was ask questions and wonder why - and this was to be my punishment? So be it.

“Like this it will take forever,” I heard Micheal mumble. “You there,” she said as she turned to the guards. "Help the others get rid of the traitors.”

Oh no. Most of the guarding angels went immediately, always eager to follow orders. Aziraphale hesitated. Because of course he did.

“Surely, you want some of us to stand guard still?” he asked Micheal quietly.

“What for? All the traitors are right there and being dealt with. Get on with it!”

Like Twinkling Stars

Rated: T - 1 chapter - 3,040 words - status: complete

Post Season 2. Crowley is miserable, to say the least. It's been months since Aziraphale left for Heaven to become Archangel Supreme. Crowley is on the rooftop of the bookshop, drunk and drinking more, because what else is he supposed to do?

Mind the tags: this is hurt/comfort, so it's got a good ending (that leads directly into the last chapter of another story of this series).

Excerpt

“Ugh, damn it all to hell!” He lifted the stupid bottle to his mouth and gulped down the last of the liquor. When he dropped his arm again, he just let it fall to the side, not enough will left to do it properly. His hand hit the roof with a bit too much force. The bottle shattered in his right hand, spraying him and the rooftop with shards. The wetness he felt on his right palm probably meant he was bleeding but he didn’t care. He was spiralling, he knew he was, and he was helpless to stop it. His left hand came up to rub harshly over his face. Crowley decided that the moisture he felt there must be the soft drizzle that had begun to fall. Or possible splattered liquor. Or blood. Anything that wasn’t bloody pathetic.

Summoning Salvation

Rated: T - 7 chapters - 32,116 words - status: complete

It's been a few months since the world didn't end. Aziraphale and Crowley have begun to settle into a new normal. Then one day, a young woman enters Aziraphale's bookshop in some distress and with a dangerous request. Of course, Aziraphale can't let her go without helping her somehow. So now our ineffable idiots have to find out what happened and how to convince her not to go through with her plans, so the angel can save her.

Involves terrible planning and rash decisions, some actual talking! *gasp* But only a little, so don't worry. ;) Alcohol, fast driving, Aziraphale being bad with modern tech, a few injuries, half-snake Crowley, Crowley a bit less dressed than he usually appears, Crowley getting furious and Aziraphale actually being quite capable, thank you (at some things anyway).

Excerpt

“Oh, alright.” He cleared his throat. “That young woman was looking for a few books she hasn’t been able to find. She said she needs them for a paper she is writing.”

“Okay,” Crowley said, sprawling all over his couch. “Go on.”

“Her list was… unusual.”

“Must’ve been if she couldn’t find the titles anywhere else.”

Aziraphale sat up a little straighter. “My collection isn’t strange.”

“Never said it was, angel,” Crowley said with a huff. “But what would a student be looking for here that she couldn’t find in a library? You’re stalling. Get on with it.”

Aziraphale took the list back out of his pocket, straightened it out and handed it to Crowley. His eyes slid over to the window and he sighed. That perfect sunbeam to read in was long gone by now.

Crowley let out a whistle. “Yeah, alright. She’d get in trouble with these. Direct route to a miserable eternity, I’d say.”

“Uh-huh.” The angel nodded in agreement. He felt Crowley’s gaze again, it was even more intense than before. Still, he kept his face calm. Or what he thought must look calm. And continued looking outside. Then at his desk. And his vest. Oh, there was a button coming loose. He would have to remember to fix that later.

He heard a rustling. A glance confirmed that Crowley had sat up straight. “What did you do, angel?”

With Her as Our Witness

Rated: M - 8 chapters - 38,458 words - status: complete

The story of the Ineffable Idiots through moments in and around the Bentley. Or somehow related to the Bentley... It makes sense when you read it.

Also, the story of the Bentley and how she became what she is.

Starts off in 1933 and ends when Aziraphale returns from Heaven. Shows moments in their time together (and apart) and contains my first attempts at steamy scenes. (Hence the M rating.)

(Also @mielpetite has done art for this (thank you again!!))

Excerpt (from the 2021 chapter)

“You do.”

Aziraphale opened his eyes again and threw a puzzled expression Crowley’s way.

“Do what?”

“Eat, drink,” the demon said, pointing at him. “Dancsse.”

He was swaying with the music. “This isn’t dancing. Now the Gavotte–”

“‘s long dead, angel,” Crowley interrupted. He finished the last of the wine in his glass and put it away, before looking through the records Aziraphale had taken out.

Aziraphale sighed once more. “Shame. Took a dreadfully long time to learn. ‘n I w’s good!”

“Ssshame I never got to sssee,” Crowley said with a wink.

And there he went, blushing again. Dreadful demon, he always delighted in making him blush. Aziraphale didn’t like blushing - what an utterly useless reaction for the human body to have. But he did like seeing Crowley enjoy himself. A daunting dilemma, that.

The Darkest Moment

Rated: T - 1 chapter - 3,163 words - status: complete

It's 2019, Aziraphale and Crowley just made it through the apocalypse and their subsequent trials. Freedom - for now. But there are still some open questions, at least for Crowley.

Despite the title, this actually contains a lot of fluff and banter.

Excerpt

“What do you mean?” Aziraphale asked in return, and lifted his glass to take a sip from his wine - a wonderful Château Lafite-Rothschild he had acquired around 40 years ago and kept for a special occasion. The world not ending and their respective head offices - former head offices now - not succeeding in destroying them and them subsequently brokering their freedom must count as a most special occasion.

Crowley was seated in his usual spot on the sofa - if one felt gracious enough to call whatever it was the demon did with furniture ‘being seated’ - and waved the hand holding his own glass around at their surroundings.

When Aziraphale only blinked in confusion, he added: “The bookshop.”

Well, that certainly clarified nothing. Granted, they had been drinking off and on for most of the day since lunch, and he wasn’t quite what you’d call sober. But he liked to believe that he wasn’t plastered enough for his faculties to have left him entirely. So he should have been able to understand the question if Crowley hadn’t been quite so vague. Clearly.

“What about the bookshop?”

“How did it happen?”

“Just repeating it isn’t going to make me understand your question any more, Crowley. How did what happen?”

A frustrated growl. “You can’t possibly–!” Crowley took a deep breath, a hefty sip from his own glass, and tried once more in a calmer voice. “How did it burn down?”

Purge

Rated: T - 1 chapter - 2,905 words - status: complete

Everything is finally well, another apocalypse has been prevented (somehow), and they don't have to worry about Heaven and Hell any more. Aziraphale is back in his bookshop, that had been under Muriel's care all this time, but that leaves him (and by extension Crowley, much to his dismay) with a lot to do. Then Crowley comes across some stuff Aziraphale meant to put away (hoard) in case it might be needed again.

Excerpt

“‘Cause I’m about ready to throw some of your beloved Shakespeare out of the window and call a tempest down on it.” Which would only be fitting, really.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Stop me then,” he called out with a mischievous grin. Oh, how he liked teasing Aziraphale. And it had only become more enjoyable since his return from Heaven.

“Patience, dear.”

“Still a demon. As I recall telling you not too long ago, patience is a virtue. Demons are not known to be virtuous.”

An overly dramatic, exasperated sigh that was loud enough to be heard all the way down here was his answer. Crowley grinned.

“Yes, yes, I’m already on my way down.”

All Love's Luxuries

Rated: E - 1 chapter - 17,881 words - status: complete

Aziraphale is back from Heaven, and they had finally had a good talk. And made out in the Bentley. But the Bentley really isn't the place for a good first time, especially not when you've been waiting for thousands of years and - okay, so Crowley would have been fine with the Bentley. But Aziraphale wants to go somewhere more comfortable, and if there is one thing Crowley always tries to do, it's to give Aziraphale whatever he wants.

Excerpt

“Not here.” Crowley snorted and grabbed Aziraphale by the waistband, pulling him along. “Come with me.”

He led him through the plant room and took a left to his bedroom.

“Glass wall? Where is the door?” came the incredulous voice from behind.

“It’s stylish, angel.”

“It’s also very… open.”

“We made out in the Bentley.” He chuckled as he pulled Aziraphale to stand at the foot of the bed. “Bit late for this now. And there’s no one here but us.”

“The plants are here.”

“Sit.” Crowley lifted an eyebrow in disbelief and pushed Aziraphale to sit down. “The plants can’t see.”

“They can hear.”

“As can the Bentley,” he said with a huff, and pushed Aziraphale’s legs apart with his foot. “As I remember, we were making some quite lewd noises earlier.”

Oh, this time he could watch the blush spread down his chest. How adorable. And hot. And yet he knew that the smile that was spreading over his face - against his wish - was nothing but adoring.

He held Aziraphale’s face gently in his hands and placed a soft kiss on those stunned lips.

“Look, I’m sure she didn’t care. Didn’t she try to encourage us to continue? And the plants are used to all kinds of noises from me,” he told the angel pointedly.

“Oh.” Aziraphale looked around as if he was only properly seeing the bedroom now. Crowley watched with interest as his fingers slid over his sheets, feeling them. “You have– uh, in here?”

“Just this morning.” Crowley sank to his knees and winked at his angel. “Thinking of you.”

Chronological List

Since my Goodomentober series is all interconnected and a bit difficult to read in chronological order, here is a list. (Will be updated as I post more, of course.)

Before We Became What We Are

With Her as Our Witness - Chapters '1933', '1941', '1967', '2008', '2019'

The Darkest Moment

Summoning Salvation

With Her as Our Witness - Chapters '2021', '2023'

Like Twinkling Stars

With Her as Our Witness - Chapter 'Now'

All Love's Luxuries

Purge

[baronessblixen]

Fictober 2023

All the stories in one place. A huge thank you to everyone for their support this month.

Day 1: Secret Spots - This is cotton candy-flavored fluff set after "Millennium": Mulder and Scully go to Mrs. Scully's house and find themselves all alone for a moment...

Day 2: Just in Case - This is angst/hurt/comfort with a dash of hopeful cheesiness. Starts off in Dod Kalm (yes, you read that right). Mulder decides to be brave in what he believes to be his last moments on earth.

Day 3: The Deepest Cut - Diana/IVF angst (with a soft ending): Scully is already upset about a colleague's pregnancy and then Diana shows up and makes things worse.

Day 4: Always Expect The Unexpected - Some soft, fluffy silliness today: Scully and Mulder see her mother out on a date with... A.D. Skinner?

Day 5: If I Were The King of The World - Fluffy-fluff set in Detour: We get to see a bit more of Scully singing to Mulder...

Day 6: In The Blink Of An Eye - Angst/Mulder in peril: Mulder happens to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time...

Day 7: Glimpses of October - Post-IWTB/Pre-Revival vignette: Mulder watches his son play in the fallen leaves. Or is he?

Day 8: A Very Queequeg Morning - Hurt/comfort AND humor after "Pusher": Mulder doesn't mind Scully showing up at his apartment after the case at all. Only problem: she's not alone.

Day 9: Talk Vanilla to Me - Rated M/banter/humor(?): Mulder can't sleep, but luckily, Scully is there to listen… and maybe more.

Day 10: Wishes - Fluff(?) post "Je Souhaite": Mulder wants to know what Scully's wishes would have been.

Day 11: Always Partners - Set in season 6, hurt/comfort, some angst: Kersh puts Scully on another case without Mulder and once again she gets hurt.

Day 12: The Easiest Choice - Fluff, rewrite of the last scene in "Existence": Mulder asks Scully what she's going to name the baby.

Day 13: Don't Forget The Cake - Fluff-ish, season 6: Diana throws Mulder a surprise birthday party. Chaos ensues.

Day 14: Preparation is Everything - Fluff, set after "Alone": With Mulder being unemployed, and Scully on maternity leave, they spend their time thinking about furniture, baby names, and all the ways their lives will change.

Day 15: Temporary Insanity - Angsty first kiss fill-in for "Paper Clip": What happened on that elevator ride?

Day 16: Mothers Always Know - Post-ep (sort of) for "Chimera", fluff: It's the Sunday morning after Mulder stayed over at Scully's and he has a somewhat awkward run-in with her mother.

Day 17: In Sickness And in Health - Hurt/comfort post-"Arcadia": They're on their way back home from The Falls at Arcadia when Scully gets sick.

Day 18: Beautiful In My Eyes - UST-filled post-ep fic: Mulder thinks Scully is the most beautiful person wherever she goes. She doesn't believe him so he tries to make her see it his way.

Day 19: It's Us Against The World - Angst, canon divergence for "Nothing Important Happened Today": No matter what Kersh said, Scully doesn't want Mulder to leave her and the baby. But what choice do they have?

Day 20: Shooting Stars - Mulder and Scully sharing a bed during two nights in The Rain King. After a first awkard night, what happens during the second one after the party ?

Day 21: No Longer Stuck In The Past - A different kind of post-episode fic for "The Unnatural": After his and Scully's baseball date, Mulder runs into Diana.

Day 22: Cookie Theft and Other Crimes - How the Ghosts Stole Christmas post-ep, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff - all the fixings: Bill Jr. runs into Mulder in the middle of the night and it goes as well as you might expect.

Day 23: You're Not Welcome Here - AU in which Diana didn't die and Mulder didn't leave after "Existence": Scully and William are waiting for Mulder when no other than Diana Fowley walks into the basement office.

Day 24: Rules Are Rules - Set in season 7, fluff: They're not supposed to share a room while on assignment. But aren't rules meant to be broken anyway?

Day 25: Another Banner Year - Set after "Our Town", before "Anasazi": Melissa shows up at her sister's apartment, demanding a few answers.

Day 26: I Saw Your Face In A Dream - AU where Mulder and Scully meet on karaoke night at a bar.

Day 27: Christmas With You By My Side - Sequel to day 22 "Cookie Theft And Other Crimes" but can be read as a stand-alone: What happens when Mulder wakes up with Scully in his arms?

Day 28: The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey - All Mulder wanted to do was drop off a report. Now he has to deal with a drunk Skinner.

Day 29: Glass Half Full - Sequel to "The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey": It's the morning after and Skinner wakes up with a hangover - and remembers way too much from the previous night.

Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide - A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here.

Day 31: Trick or Treat - IVF arc, angsty fluff: They're supposed to go to the Gunmen's Halloween party, but there's something they need to make sure of first.

[diamondcitydarlin]

Doing my usual rewatches of the first two seasons of DiP (I literally watch both of them or an ep once a week, at least, I WISH I WAS JOKING) and I started internalizing this little detail in the premiere of season 2, when they're investigating the plantation murder during Erzulie week etc. It's, on the surface just this silly moment of Richard collapsing into a chair and putting a damp towel over his face

HOWEVER, this time I actually took note of the fact that 1) he's not wearing his suit jacket for what I think is the FIRST time in the station, there may have been an exception or two in the first season but I don't think so, he keeps it on like armor at all times no matter how hot it is. 2) he's not even sitting his own desk as he so normally would have in season one, he just plops down into Camille's seat without a second thought from either her or him, despite seating arrangements being a bit of an issue for him in the first season.

And then later, when he has an epiphany about the trap door, he's so wrapped up in it that he just...initially forgets said jacket AND his briefcase, the two things he usually clings to. He does turn back to get them (from Camille, who had waited by them in anticipation that he would remember) but then doesn't even waste time to put the jacket on before running out the door again lol

The point is, I think, that through these masterfully little, seemingly inconsequential details, we're starting to see Richard really acclimate and find comfort in his 'new' surroundings. If the suit jacket is part of his 'armor' that he wore regardless of how hot it was or his own personal comfort (which I think psychologically it is for him, still tying him to England and what he knows) then it says a great deal that Richard would finally be in a place to shuck it off without really thinking about it, that he's grown so comfortable with and trusting of Fidel, Dwayne and Camille that he wouldn't feel that subconscious impulse to keep it on at all times. Notice though, that it all DOES go back on when he's facing suspects he doesn't know.

And then there's Camille's chair. Again, it's not a big deal or anything anyone even notices in the actual scene, but it's a far cry for me from season one where he always made a point to sit at his OWN desk, in his OWN chair at all times, somewhat cut off and isolated from the rest of the group. Not here though. He sits in someone else's chair (again, without really thinking about it) in such a position that he's immersed in the main group while they discuss the case.

I can't help but wonder how this could have been taken further, if Richard had been on the show longer and they had kept up with this kind of subtle signaling. Maybe over time we'd see him regularly start to roll up his sleeves, even take off his tie and loosen his collar while working on cases at the station. Maybe even at some point, many seasons later, he starts slowly transitioning to more breathable Caribbean clothes, piece by piece. Maybe after a time a short sleeved, button down breathable shirt that resembles his English uniform, for instance. Pleated, but breathable khaki-colored trousers, maybe. (Could we get him to sandals?? Idk about that one but maybe lol)

It's honestly so sweet to me, to watch this very guarded character begin to unconsciously dismantle his own metaphorical walls in ways he never would have been able to even back home in England, and I think the fact that these moments ARE so subtle and go pretty much unnoticed by the main characters is what makes them significant and capable of happening. No one even thinks to remark on it, because it's just the natural thing to happen. It's where he's meant to be, one might say.

[thesiltverses]

Hello! Just wanted to say, and hopefully this isn't an odd compliment to receive, how much I adore the episode titles of the silt verses. One of my favorite things to do after I get someone to listen to tsv is point out that the episode titles make a poem when you read them back to back. It always tends to blow their minds and I get great satisfaction from seeing their reactions. What I especially love about them is how they can stand on their own and reflect events of the episodes while still connect with one another to make a bigger picture so to speak. (For example, how Faulkner and Carpenter's reunion episode in s2 is titled "But We'll Never Be Rid of Each Other" to reflect their relationship as two people that can't seem to untangle themselves from each other, for better or for worse ((and how this title hangs over the episode ominously when contrasted with how happy their reunion makes listeners, as if just waiting for events to come)), but then connect it to the next title "My Song, My Sorrow and I" and it slightly changes the context where it feels more like it examines the characters' various complicated relationships with their gods)

(Though, on a tangent, speaking of episode titles and how they match each episode, I think constantly about "One Final Fall From Grace" with Faulkner and how it's the episode where he loses all but one of his acolytes, idk there's something about it that gets me so bad/pos)

I was wondering how you go about deciding on episode titles? Has the poem already been written out since the very beginning of the show? Is episode order dictated and determined by said finished poem? Or am I overthinking how each line fits each episode? What made you decide on this format compared to I am in Eskew's episode naming convention? Sorry for such a long winded question! I just cannot overstate how much I adore the episode titles, sometimes I'll go back and read everything all over just to hear the words.

Thank you very much!

So the plan was always roughly along the lines of:

Season 1 titles begin by trying to outline a kind of epic poem, then get distracted by describing its hold over the poet

Season 2 titles are about the poet's yearning to be free from the poem, but ultimate acceptance that their fates are entwined

Season 3 is about the realisation that the poem will outlive the poet.

Beyond that, there's generally plenty of flex and it remains a semi-spontaneous act of play - like you say, I might think I have something in mind and then realise at the last minute that another line works better for the themes of the ep (and sometimes there's no thematic relevance at all and it's just filling in a necessary rhyme to keep the whole thing going).

This leads to imperfections and a bit of a shaggy-dog story feel - if I could go back without confusing everyone, I'd correct the very first ep title to 'First I'll Sing Of Revelations' so the terminology is consistent - but I like imperfections, and I like shaggy dogs.

As to why? It just felt like a different way of being playful; the Eskew titles were fun for me because of their simplicity (I have vivid memories as a very young kid, not being old enough to be allowed to watch the video-tapes of Blackadder II, all of which had really evocative, teasing single-word episode titles - 'Head', 'Money', 'Potato'. So I'd just sit back on the floor and imagine what those meant.)

But for TSV, it felt appropriate and fun to begin with these trappings of epic storytelling and religious verse in the episode titles, and then gradually pan outwards to show that it's more of a story about being entrapped by stories and the impossibility of escape.

[sweetieviktor]

"take me back to the night we met", feat. viktor.

summary: you knew he was dieing, but seeing him using shimmer was too much to bare . based on the song "the night we met", by lord huron.

word count: 720.

content warning: season 1, act 3 spoilers! idk if shimmer use count as a cw, but anyways this is angst and it doesn't have a happy ending!

author notes: there's so much time since i've written fanfiction!! but i loved doind this one and i swear that i cried while writing this. and this may be very ooc and doesn't match the scenes in season 1, act 3, but i dont have time to watch it again now and i was so hyped up bcs of season 2 that i just had to write something, yk? also, there may be some typos or grammar errors even though i re-read this like 3 times i think lol. but yeah, here it is!

you came back to his lab expecting to see him doing good, maybe working on his research, too focused on any stuff he was doing at the moment and not noticing you by the door, but he wasn't in there, or so it looked like.

he was hunched over his desk, in his hands was a glass tube, the remaining of the purple liquid shimmering in the dark room, illuminating just enough to draw his weak silhouette amongst the shadows.

“viktor…?” was everything you said while getting closer to him, walking with slow steps, trying to make no sounds to alarm him.

“stop.” raising a hand, that was all he said.

just as you were told, you stopped on your tracks, observing that, his once perfect hand, was now painted in a shade of purple, the same that was inside the glass recipient.

it can't be. right?

“what you did to yourself?”

“i did what needed to be done.” he was so baretoned, you didn't understand why he seemed so rude, so crude, so… unlike him.

when his words settled in, it felt like your stomach was turning, wrapping itself around your guts, making you sick. you felt sick, for him.

“please, please, viktor, don't tell me that you're using sh-” “yes.”

of course you knew about his condition, of course you knew he wasn't doing good at all, and mostly, you knew that things were meant to end, one way or another. but you didn't think he would kill himself like this.

and this was all you needed to break.

“why you didn't told me? i could have helped you, we could find a way to work through it,” the tears started to prick on your eyes, your voice breaking, the anger at yourself pooling into your core. “you wouldn't need to use shimmer, vik...”

the feeling that the universe stole and took all that once mattered to you was what drove you insane. the feeling that you could make things different, make things better, the oh so simple solution that you could find, if only he had told you.

“it’s not that easy! you wouldn't understand if i told you sooner. no one would understand it, even if they tried really hard to.” he turned his head towards your direction, looking at your face for a brief second, before turning his gaze back to the ground, his purple irises trying to focus on something that wasn't your saddened face, now, feeling his own eyes burning, burning even more than the blood running in his veins. “we are in piltover, the city of progress, and yet, i am stuck behind, and i'm dieing. so, i needed to do something, and i did.”

“what you don’t understand is that you're destroying yourself, viktor. destroying yourself so slowly that it almost feels like torture. i fear that i wouldn't be able to see you for another day.” you sobbed, the tears rolling down and he didn't dare to look at your eyes again, he knew that you were crying. he knew it and he couldn't bear the thought that he was the one that made you cry. “if there is a god somewhere, i wish they could turn back time and take me back to the night we met. maybe things could be different, right?”

looking at him, a weak, nervous smile was all you could get out while crying, thinking to yourself when things started to get this wrong and how you let it happen, without even realizing what was wrong. how could you let him do this to himself?

your body was shaking, it felt like the whole world was trembling. the nonstoping thoughts hammering your head, your heart a mile per minute, the air in your lungs wasn't enough. everything, everything seemed like it was crushing down on you, right in this moment.

“i'm sorry. i'm so sorry... i need to go. now.”

you needed to get out of here, you needed to breathe.

you headed back to the door, wishing that some cold breeze would cool you down, would just stop your mind and racing heart. wishing for him to be fine again. praying for any and all gods that lived in the skies and beyond, praying for him to be alive. just for a bit more.