#this is why you don’t feed the Florida man

[yosefcandraw]

He’s thinking chaotic thoughts…

Meant for this doodle to make him look more deranged than the result

[i-care-4u]

QUIT | J. FÉLIX

PAIR: JOÃO FÉLIX X FEM!READER

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST

you loved joão the way he loved his past lover. from the first time dating joão, you couldn’t help but to feel lucky that you’re in a relationship with the rising star. however, it wasn’t the same case with joão. in simple terms, you were just his rebound.

during the course of your relationship, joão would think about his past relationship with his ex. everything reminded him of her where even doing the simplest tasks like going to the grocery store was a sign that he just misses her presence.

your friends noticed the body language between you and joão. while you were being too attached to him by resting your head on his shoulder, he wouldn’t lay an eye on you. rather, he would think about his ex, and a memory involving a moment like this.

you remembered the conversation you had the next day with your friend.

your friend, clara, argued, “y/n baby, that man didn’t even laid an eye on you.”

you were feeding into your delusions, believing that joão loves you, “maybe he’s just tired, okay?”

“tired? he was very much outgoing when i saw him with his friends while you were asleep on the couch,” clara sighed, “y/n, i don’t care about his status, but you can do better.”

“i can’t.”

you were well aware of the people’s opinion of you. when the internet found out that you and joão were dating, people began comparing you to his ex, where you were considered the “better” girlfriend. of course, you didn’t liked being compared to his ex, who had a history of cheating. joão had been cheated on a couple of times, therefore making you feel bad for him.

“what do you mean you can’t?”

you repeated, “i can’t let him go like that.”

clara looks at you, “y/n, isn’t it obvious? joão hasn’t moved on.”

that sentence was engraved in your head for the next month and forward.

there was a thing that people say: your first love is unforgettable.

-

as predicted, you and joão broke up the following month. around this time was when his ex came back to the city.

you had a hard time ignoring the interactions between joão and his ex. you were upset that he came back to her after what she did, but you were so defensive of joão, who will experience heartbreak once more.

everyday, you come on instagram to check up on joão to see what he’s up to. in recent events, he was seen hanging out with his now girlfriend at a nearby restaurant. that girlfriend being the same one that cheated on him months prior.

“he’s with her again?” your friend, isabel, looked at the picture of joão and the girl. you knew who she was talking about instantly.

“yeah…” your voice softened, sensing insecurity.

isabel puts her phone on the coffee table.

you sighed, “i just don’t get why he came back to her after everything she did. i just want to see him happy.”

“i know you want to see him thrive again, and it’s not your fault that he went back to his old ways. there’s going to be someone else that’ll truly love you.”

isabel was right, and you knew that. however, you were constantly reminded about the things you and joão did during the course of your relationship.

as days turned into months, you couldn’t help but to continue to view how joão was doing online. he seems perfectly fine, according to his posts on instagram. the more you scrolled down, the more you realized that you could’ve been there. spanish grand prix? that was your idea. miami, florida? that was originally a trip you planned with him.

you couldn’t help but to tear up. as you set your phone down, you thought about everything that is going on in your life. you keep agreeing with your friends telling you to move on, but the process was hard for you.

-

you flew to barcelona with clara and isabel, where you three were going to stay for a week.

the third day, you three attended the fc barcelona game. you were a fan since childhood, and you were overjoyed at the fact that you’re finally seeing your team live.

“i can’t wait to see pedri play,” isabel looked at the field where all the players are standing.

some big names showed up on the lineup. lewandowski, pedri, de jong, gavi, but one of them stood out to you. as you paid close attention to the player’s face, you felt disbelief. the number 14 jersey belonged to someone that you used to know. that face looked familiar, as it belonged to joão félix. joão, the one who dreamed about playing for fc barcelona. and it was the same joão who had left you for his cheating ex.

“oh…” you didn’t know what to say. rather than saying something about joão to your friends, you instead kept it to yourself.

however, joão is an important part of your love life. of course, your friends brought it up.

“félix is playing for barça now?” clara asked you and isabel.

you avoided clara’s question and remained focused on the field. meanwhile, isabel nods, “yeah.”

they both turn to face you. as you see their eyes staring at you, you chose to ignore them.

isabel pats your shoulder, “hey, i know joão is in the same place right now and if you want, we can leave the stadium and go explore other parts of the city, no?”

focusing on the game, you didn’t want to exit the game. it didn’t even hit half time yet. “no, i’m good where i’m at. i don’t want to waste any of our money because of him.”

-

after the game, everyone including the three of you, started exiting the stadium. as you were on your way out of the seats, a pair of eyes looked at you. you ignored what was going on in the background and ignored that joão was playing for your childhood team for now.

on the field, joão was ready to end the night. he was giving hand shakes to the opposing team, and entered the locker room before leaving the stadium for today.

in the locker room, joão couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve possibly been you in that audience.

“you’ve been quiet today joão. what’s up?” ferran sat down next to him.

“i saw her. she was with her friends just now.”

“joão, you need to leave her, she’s no good for you. are you aware on how many times she has cheated on you?”

“it’s not about her. it’s another girl.” joão sighed.

“please don’t tell me. y/n?”

joão nodded silently, his thoughts racing. maybe ferran was right: he needed to move on from his past, the cycle of grief and longing. however, facing reality proved more difficult than he had anticipated. ferran placed a hand on joão's shoulder, conveying concern. "joão, you should let go. you can't keep clutching onto something that isn't meant to be. i’ve seen the body language between you two, and turns out, it’s not meant to be.”

-

listening to ferran's words, joão rather ignored him. instead, he decides to navigate the crowds of barcelona. glancing around, he noticed a familiar woman standing in the crowd, her presence both comfortable and alarming. it was you.

time appeared to stand still as their gazes locked, the air thick with unspoken words and lingering feelings. joão experienced contradictory emotions, including longing, remorse, and hope for the future. joão approached you with confidence and a fast heartbeat. "y/n," he said softly, his voice full of apprehension. you were surprised and concerned. "joão," you replied softly.

you and joão were struck by the shared history and feelings while standing in the city center. It was as if time had folded in on itself, forcing you guys to confront memories from their past. joão interpreted your eyes as a reflection of his own sadness and longing. he wanted to reach out and bridge the gap between you and him, but he wasn't sure if he had the right to beg for forgiveness.

you were also suffering with your own inner turmoil, torn between the sorrow of the past and the light of hope in your heart. you hoped joão had changed and was ready to go forward, but feared disappointment. joão broke the silence with a mumbled plea. "y/n, i understand i made mistakes, but i want to make things right. i want to show you that i've changed and that i'm no longer the same person i was before."

as joão's comments hung in the air, you felt a knot in your gut, hanging down like a heavy load from your shared history. you wanted to believe him, trusting his good intentions, but you knew some wounds were too deep to repair. your voice was trembling with emotion. "joão, i've seen you repeatedly go back to her, not once, but three times, and i won't accept it. i cannot be seen with someone who has not been healed from their past relationship."

your statements broke joão and revealed the brutal reality of their situation. he wanted to protest and beg you to give him another chance, but he knew it would only exacerbate his impending sorrow. joão bowed deeply, burdened by his wordless regret. he realized he had lost you not only now, but possibly forever.

“as much as i love you, all i can tell you is good luck finding someone.”

as you turned away, your footsteps echoing in the deserted streets, joão was left alone with his thoughts, grappling with the bitter taste of regret and haunting echoes of what may have happened.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

To continue riffing on the marriage/tradition stuff because that’s one of the themes I’m obsessed with in her discography, it’s fascinating because it would be easy to reduce it to, “she’s adhering to patriarchal societal norms in chasing the traditional nuclear family and that’s why she throws herself into these relationships,” but it’s just so reductive to well, how human beings exist in the world. Just because it’s a societal pressure doesn’t mean some people don’t genuinely want to get married or have families.

Yes, she’s been singing about it right back to her first album when she as 16. Yes, her view on it has evolved, from marrying the sweet neighbor boy to the princess fairytale early on (debut/fearless), to the disillusionment that increasingly pushed it out of the narrative (speak now/red/1989), to slowly letting herself believe in forever again (rep), to seemingly actually committed (lover), to questioning what that means (folklore/evermore) to trying to reconcile what it means for her current life (midnights). Every relationship she experienced throughout those periods informed those views and how *she* pursued it.

I think what makes it so interesting on TTPD is that it is EVERYWHERE, as I mentioned in my previous post about it. And it’s unsettling because it’s not just in the setting we expect it to be — e.g. a long term partner she’d previously indicated she was ready to marry — but also in songs about a man who swooped in to save her when she was low only to break her apart, in thinly-veiled fantasies about strange bedfellow neighbours, another thinly-veiled story about marrying the person you want consequences be damned, in taunting your on again/off again partner in a bar (e.g. i want to smash your bike or be your wife).

And it’d be easy to chalk it up to, well she’s in her 30s and the clock is ticking, she’s just obsessive! And there’s a nugget there about women and their bodies and both the lauding and weaponization thereof and everything that personally I’m dying to talk about at some point. But when it comes down to it, I’m willing to bet that the reason why it’s everywhere is because THAT WAS HER LIFE. That was the plan she’d taken for granted for so long — and I don’t just mean in a general sense as a girl in the world — but in the very real, very tangible way she was living her life and in the circumstances that led to what would be written about in TTPD. By working out all these scenarios through her songs (and tbh in whatever she was doing IRL that inspired them), she was grappling with and grieving the loss of the life she thought was ahead of her. We’ve talked about how pervasive grief has been on her recent albums, in all kinds of forms, and I think this is kind of the culmination of all of those worries.

She’s not the girl with the paper ring and all’s well did not end well to end up with him. She’s not the girl who has his midnights after cleaning up bottles on New Year’s Day. She couldn’t give him her wild or a child because it wasn’t enough. She may have even been the self-fulfilling prophecy of the girl who is fucked in the head, but feels more like the one left out on the landing.

So in TTPD, she is all of these things. She’s the neglected wife whose husband cheats on her so she runs off with an old flame. She’s the one who gets the jewel on her ring finger and talks about babies because he says it’s love. She’s the woman whose partner once made a promise but never followed through. She’s the hell-raiser who follows love in a different kind of getaway car while the town calls her mad, consequences be damned, but joke’s on them because she gets the wedding in the end anyway. She’s the wife who feeds her cheating husband to the swamps of Florida. She gets swept off her feet by an old flame to run down the aisle. SHE’S the one who gets to decide if she’s gonna marry him or decimate him (be his wife or smash his bike). She’s the girl who didn’t become the wife while she watches the one that got away marry his. She’s the woman scorned who has to call the whole thing off. She’s the saucy girl who bets her new lover is gonna marry her for real. She’s sold off as chattel to the highest bidder in an arranged marriage. She’s the young girl starry-eyed with the dreams she grew up with only to have them go up in flames, leaving only her pen behind to turn it into art.

She navigates all these scenarios because in the end, she isn’t any of them and she is all of them. She’s mourning what she gave up, mourning what she’s already lost, mourning the time she feels she wasted and could have started over. She’s mourning any number of women she could have been if she’d just tried something else, but also mourning that ultimately much of this was out of her hands. She’s grappling with a past that can’t change and a future that doesn’t exist. Every one of these scenarios is a way her life could have gone with any number of different decisions, but in the end, none of that matters, because she is who she is and what happened happened.

Obviously there’s a lot more going on in the album; she’s not just processing the end of relationships, she’s processing her fame and career and health and harassment and trauma and struggles and misogyny and any number of things in frankly shocking ways. But, I think there’s also no denying that this very important thing — the step many young adults expect to take in their lives — precipitated a whole lot of what went on, and may have even had a domino effect on all the other issues explored. It’s raw and vulnerable and ugly and funny and human.

Anyway apparently I’m back and thinking.

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

iii. one for the money, two for the show.

— the one where you were never ready, so you watched him go.

warnings: war flashbacks to the miami gp, more insight into y/n (look i have to give a lot of context for my own sanity), not really proofread sorry, 2.4k words.

masterlist ✢ next

FROM “WHAT’S NEXT FOR AIDAN KIM?” POSTED IN THE US WEEKLY YOUTUBE CHANNEL MAY 2023

You are looking at the top comments.

aidanbabes nooo my baby😭 he looks so sad!

flowerbedkim I swear to god y/n better count her fucking days

halleyc don’t come at me but this sounds like he proposed

ynbby why is he talking about this though? y/n has been super private and he’s telling US WEEKLY THIS?

ynaidan i hate being a child of divorce😭

Miami, Florida May 6th

GRAND Prix number two with Elix, attempt number two by Mr. Stuart Schafer to get into your pants. Can it get any worse?

Yes, yes it can. Because as long as you have “a job” you don’t have to come to these sponsor events. Which sucks for you, not having an acting job for the moment has never felt more like a punishment from the universe.

Artists, from actors to singers are here promoting their gigs while all you do, again, is take pictures with men in jeans and loafers and try not to barf every time you consume Elix.

You’re watching your career crumble in front of your eyes and you can’t do anything to save it from burning when it hits the floor. Mildred has called you several times during the course of the weekend to inform you of canceled interviews, revoked invitations and “sorry we’re just looking for something else” calls from casting agents.

Part of you is in disbelief that a five minute interview from your ex-boyfriend is feeding the fire, part of you expected it all the same. Women are the preferred villain in the narrative, and if it means putting a man above them, the media has had the choice made for a while.

Did you really have it coming, though? There have been endless comments about how it was about time people realized the type of person you are.

But what are you? Who are you really?

You’re a coward. You tell that to yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning.

Many people have the luxury to say they can’t pinpoint the exact moment where they went wrong. You can’t afford the pleasure of such obliviousness, because the exact moment everything went wrong was when Aidan got down on one knee.

And when the question that left his lips went from "Will you marry me?" to "Why won't you?" You knew there was no turning back.

Marriage wasn’t a foreign concept to you, but while it is generally seen as a milestone, for you it was just another stepping stone. The roles of The Wife and The Mother were something you might eventually grow into, but on the night of your third anniversary, you realized you weren't even ready for that of The Fiancée.

Was it genuinely a surprise for Aidan that you had to close the velvet box he was holding in front of you, hiding the diamond ring from your sight, before he dropped his other knee to the ground and whispered 'Why?'

Never, in the three years you'd been together, had you seriously talked about marriage. It was another bridge you would cross once you got there, and in your mistaken calculations, you thought it would be around the time your relationship turned five. That's the limit for romantic relationships without a ring involved according to most women's magazines, and your own mom. At least neither know the ring was the cause of the breakup.

It's a little pathetic how lucky you consider yourself that the tabloids don't know you rejected an engagement. They're cruel enough as it is, things can only go further downhill, straight to hell.

"You good?"

Your best friend in the world, Victoria Presley, is able to join you in the VIP area of the Paddock thanks to a couple pictures on instagram where she tagged Elix. God bless the era of influencers. Or, family connections. Being the daughter of Sony Music executive Luke Presley and celebrity life coach Claire Walker can open many doors. Well it isn't Vic's fault being born into a rich and influential family, at least she's doing her own thing with her beauty products.

"Yes, I am," you shrug. Q3 is going on right now and although you try your best to keep your focus on the two red cars around the circuit, you find it hard to get out of your head. Plus it's so hot in here you feel sticky and gross.

"I lost you for a moment there," she insists, sipping her glass of champagne, the eyebrow raise she gives you after means she needs more info into what was going through your head just seconds ago.

"Not getting any call backs right now," you sigh, taking the flute from her although all it would take for you to get your own is a few steps. "I'm kind of frustrated."

"I'm sorry babe," Vic rubs your back, unbothered by your stealing. "You'll get something soon."

"And E! cancelled my interview, AND—"

Tires screech and an 'ooooh' goes through the grand stands before the screens show a red car embedded in the barriers. A groan of "It's Leclerc!" passes through the people around you in the VIP Lounge.

You grimace, focused on the circuit again as Charles leaves his car, shaking his arms before hitting the halo several times, frustrated.

"See everyone has bad streaks," Vic has gotten her own champagne again and is pointing to the screen, where the Ferrari driver is being followed on his way out. "It's his second crash, no?"

Other people's disgrace doesn't soothe your own, so you give Vic a stern look, causing her to shrug.

Q3 is done and Ferrari has mixed feelings about their two drivers' results. As for you, the faster you can get back to your hotel, the better.

─────────

Vic drags you to dinner with a couple of her influencer friends. Everyone and their mother is in attendance at Miami, and they’re here to have fun.

"They're here!" the girl to Vic's left whisper-yells, stretching her neck to look over at the entrance of the restaurant.

The place has been completely full the whole time you've been here, which has been a while, you're done with your dinner and have a few drinks on you, yet Vic has begged you twice to stay 'just a little longer'.

Of course Vic is having the time of her life, talking about promotion agreements and posting schedules, and although you hang out with lots of influencers and social media stars on your daily life, you're not clicking with any of them tonight. Have you become bitter? No, of course not.

"y/n knows them, she can just introduce us," another one giggles, and she cheers with her tequila sunrise to your own half-empty drink that's resting on the table.

"Hmm, what?" you chuckle, unsure of how you missed the part where you entered the story.

"The Ferrari Drivers," the first girl answers in that 'obviously' tone you hate when people use with you. "You're with Ferrari all the time lately, aren't you?"

"I'm with Elix," you clear up, best as you can as they're not really paying attention, their eyes following the group of men that are being escorted by a hostess to their table. "So you know, it's not really—"

"But you've met them,"

"Well, yes but..."

Yes but, you've seen them in scattered moments where they nod and smile at you passing by and the three times you've had to take pictures drinking Elix. You don't even get to the coworker level of knowing them.

"Well let's go!"

"Hold on Holly," Vic speaks up for the first time, "I mean, they literally just got here."

"Which is why we came here," Holly can't seem to get rid of that know-it-all tone, and it's frankly starting to annoy you even if she has a different target now.

It's time to use the angry eyes with Vic, again,in less than 24 hours. That's why she kept asking you to wait just a little longer.

"How did you know they'd be here?" you question, although you already know what a cleveage can do to get any information you want. Can't blame a girl for using her tools.

“I have my ways,” Holly says, and does in fact, fix her cleavage. Fair enough.

"Vic..." you whisper, as the rest of them regather in their own conversation. "What's happening?"

"I just– they said they really wanted to meet the Ferrari guys, y/n," Vic half whines. She's doing the most to impress the other girls, which is a very Vic thing to do, but still you don't like it. "And since you work with them, well it would be easier to approach them, right?"

Wrong.

"I- Vic, I don't work with these guys. We don't even work for the same people, and... it would be weird to approach them while they're trying to have dinner peacefully."

You are not a big fan of interruptions because you've heard enough of your coworkers talk about how annoying it is. As for yourself, sometimes you mind, sometimes you don't. It all depends.

You can barely distinguish their table with all the movement around the restaurant, but you manage a peek at Carlos' hair. Both of them are there, surrounded by a bunch of other Ferrari guys.

"So? Let's go," Holly is speaking again, downing the rest of her alcoholic Shirley Temple.

"I have to use the bathroom," you announce, dropping the napkin that covered your lap on the table.

"Right now?" the other girl—you feel guilty for not remembering her name— groans.

You refrain from replying, and try not to stomp to the bathroom like a toddler throwing a tantrum. If there’s anything that you hate is feeling used, and it hurts a lot more when it comes from Victoria.

It’s something else when she uses her doe-eyed stare and says “please, please, please” to get her way even with you, rather than set you up to impress her other friends.

You take your time to reapply lipstick in the bathroom and soothe your annoyance. You have told Vic before that she needs to ask for things, not just push you into awkward situations. At least she didn’t follow you to the restroom.

Taking a deep breath, you step out of the bathroom, wondering how to go on about this. It’s very likely that things get twisted and it is you who’ll look like she wants to brag about knowing the Ferrari guys, which you’re sure they’re used to—being bragged about. But you don’t want that.

There are many clichés that you have experienced, both as a character in RomComs where the biggest makeover that is done to your character is to apply a little mascara and remove the glasses (you hate that, what’s wrong with wearing glasses?). And in real life, with big romantic gestures like receiving a bouquet with a hundred roses and one is artificial… Blah blah.

This cliché is a little more ridiculous, though, as you crash into Charles Leclerc while leaving the restroom.

“Oh, sorry,” you half-smile back at him, he’s already smiling, showing dimples and everything. You see his appeal no matter how much you don’t want to notice it. Tall, green-blue eyes and those stupid dimples. Not to mention the fact that you suddenly find accents charming. Again, stupid.

“Hey y/n,” he says still smiling, “Did you just get here?”

“Uh, no actually we’re leaving in a few minutes,” you move out of the way of a lady that wants to get into the restroom, she eyes you both for a moment before continuing on her way.

“Are you here with your friends? Or is it with Elix?”

“My friends. Thank God I get to be away from Elix for a few hours.”

Charles chuckles and the moment runs long enough to become awkward. You’re still outside of the bathrooms and another guy has too given you an off look as he made his way inside.

"Let me walk you back to your table," Charles offers as a way of breaking the silence and you shake your head no.

"You don't have to, my friends are probably on the way out already, anyway."

Are you being selfish by keeping Vic's friends away from him? It doesn't matter to you, not really. But really a small part of you doesn't want things to go their way.

Charles doesn't listen to your refusal anyway, and asks you to lead the way with a gesture.

"I didn't see you at the Ferrari Suite after Quali," he mentions as he follows you a step behind.

"I was in the VIP Lounge with a friend," you explain, "I'll be at the Suite tomorrow, though."

You stop at your table, where the three girls are still doing their best to ogle at the Ferrari guys.

"Hey," you get their attention back and not one in the three of them even attempt to hide the pleasant surprise that Charles' presence gives them. "Are you ready to go?"

It's Vic's turn to give you a look. One that tells you to not be unfair, things have just started to go as they planned.

While you return the pointed look to Vic, Holly strikes a conversation with Charles. Lightning quick.

"Let's go," you repeat, "Gotta be up early tomorrow."

"Can we get a picture, though?" the other girl—lord, if you could remember her name you'd feel a little better —adds quickly.

"Do you mind?" you ask Charles before he can reply. You don't want to make a fuss and have half the restaurant acknowledging his presence and his disposition to take pictures and sign autographs while he's trying to have dinner.

"Not at all," he shakes his head and waits patiently for everyone to be camera-ready while you stare. "Aren't you getting in the picture?"

"I'll take it," you hold your hand out for an iPhone, and get Holly's bedazzled one. Charles frowns but you just say 'okay, ready?' before pointing the camera at them.

No one else argues the fact that you're not in the picture.

A chorus of 'thank you's' passes quickly as you return the iPhone and the three influencers start checking the picture. They're probably better photographers than you, you can accept that.

"So I'll see you tomorrow, y/n," Charles leans towards you, leaving the group to their own thing after he pleased their request. "Right?"

"I'll be the one drinking Elix," you joke, half-whining.

"I'll be the one in the red car," Charles jokes back, a wide smile spreading on his face.

You laugh, fighting against the sudden shyness caused by the familiarity.

"Goodnight," he calls quietly, and the girls wish him a goodnight and good luck for the race before he snakes through tables back to his friends.

Not another thank you is directed at you as your group leaves the restaurant to wait for the Uber back to the hotel.

─── team principal radio: ❝hello! thank you for reading! I'm really grateful for everyone who has interacted with this story, I hope you're enjoying it so far ♡❞

[facingthenorthwind]

Don't get involved with Wookieepedia

We all know Wookieepedia — it’s the Star Wars wiki, and an invaluable resource for fic writers everywhere. I’m not telling you not to look at Wookieepedia, but I do need to warn you not to get involved with the community. If you do want to edit it, then never join the discord or get involved with the forums (Senate Hall). It’s a cesspit of bigotry, and you cannot change it.

I tried. Along with a very well-known and vocal user named Immi Thrax, we tried to push back against misogyny and queerphobia. We thought we succeeded. You might have seen supposed “progress” on Wook: the addition of pronouns in the infobox, the addition of an anti-discrimination policy and an apology from the male wook admins for historical abuse towards marginalised editors. We did this. We, along with a small group of queer women and nonbinary editors, badgered the admins to write that apology for months, spoon-feeding them the things they needed to address and telling them that the early piss-weak drafts were unacceptable. We demanded infobox pronouns. We demanded an anti-discrimination policy and worked with them to add a glossary. 

And then they ran us off the website.

We had a side server specifically for women and nonbinary people, with a few channels that also contained men we trusted. A woman (who was voted in as an admin after Immi) took screenshots from this private server and then posted them publicly. The screenshots were taken completely out of context and misrepresented their contents. The woman who took the screenshots deleted messages in them to make us look worse. They slandered us and put us in danger, because Immi has been targeted by dangerous corners of the internet before (which they were well aware of), and we were terrified we would be doxxed. All of the men approved of this, forced Immi to resign, and spread blatant lies about us. Wook users attacked us, and it was deemed perfectly acceptable to do so.

When I wrote the initial forum post about sexism and misogyny on the website, Master Fredcerique, one of the admins, told me that he was in fear of losing his job during 2021 because of discord screenshot leaks, and that "Safety for everyone was of utmost importance" to him, hence requesting I not provide usernames for my examples of bigotry. It is clear that Immi, myself and others in those screenshots do not count in this 'everyone'. I wonder why he wanted to protect the perpetrators of misogyny but was happy to endanger women!

As a result of this horrific breach of trust and privacy, every single queer woman and almost every nonbinary wook editor has left the site. We were too radical, and they had to destroy us. Sure, a woman did this, but I don’t think it’s an accident that a cishet woman who self-describes as a Republican in Florida forced the two loud leftist lesbians off the site. And the men approved of everything she’s done and contributed to it. One (1) man (notably not an admin) stood up for us, and he was banned for doing it. 

So don’t join wook. If you do edit, don't trust anyone. Have every single conversation about wook in public, where people can never take your words out of context. Do not participate in DMs, group chats or any wook-related servers, including the official one. Marginalised editors' very existence is a disruption to the status quo of Wookieepedia, and there is every possibility you will be seen as a threat, even if you are not initially treated as one.

[oldguardleatherdog]

For Father's Day:

"The One Decent Thing I Ever Did"

This is a monograph from 2015, previously posted here some time ago, a tale of my maternal grandmother, a below-zero winter night, the New York City subway West Side express during post-9/11, that mentions my father only in passing... and it's about my father.

THE ONE DECENT THING I EVER DID.

I.

A long time ago, during a time of struggle, I did one decent thing:

I'd just gotten on the subway in Midtown Manhattan on a brutal winter night, the No. 2 uptown express, when a couple with a small child boarded the car I was riding.

They were having a very loud conversation with their child (about four years old, I think) who was crying or somehow behaving in a way that was "bad". The mother took the belt from her jeans and raised her arm to strike her child with it.

Don’t ask me why I did this, but I rose from my seat, grabbed the mother’s arm mid-swing, and said, “As long as I am on this train, you will not hit that child with that belt.” She and the child’s father were stunned into silence for a moment as I made my way back to my seat.

Immediately after I sat down, the mother and father began leveling all kinds of vitriol my way, calling me every name in the book, including all the variations of “faggot” in use at the time. I just sat there, smiled wide, laughed loud, and shined ‘em on:

“You can call me ‘faggot.’ You can call me anything you like. Because every minute you focus on me, you are not beating that child with that belt.”

The crowded train car fell silent.

II.

Yuletide, 1982. I was in the service in Germany and took leave to see my grandmother in Florida. My grandfather had passed away the previous March, and something told me to seize the chance to see Grandma while she was still with us. I was only 20, born late in life to my parents, and never got to know my grandparents in the way my older brothers did.

We were in my Grandma's airy, air-conditioned Fort Lauderdale kitchen having coffee one morning when the rest of the family had gone out for breakfast. “Would you like a little pick-me-up in your cup, dear?” I laughed. “No thanks, Gramma, it's a little early for me.” The joys of Florida.

I'd had a rough upbringing by any measure - my father was first-gen shanty Irish born in the early 1920's with a mean spirit and a violent edge, mother not Irish but still violent - but at age 20 I hadn't yet realized just how rough it had been.

“You know,” I said to Grandma, “Harold and Evelyn did the best they could. I mean, I turned out all right, right?”

Grandma leaned back in her chair, took a nice drag off one of her unfiltered Camels, and said in her declarative New England way the words that always meant Listen up, you're about to hear gospel truth:

“Well, I'll tell ya, Joe.” I was all ears.

She took another hit off of her cigarette. “I held my tongue. More than once, I held my tongue.

“But one day, your mother and father were in the front yard with your grandfather and me, and I walked up to your father and said, “Harold, I just want to tell you something. It takes a real man to beat a child with a belt.”

...Wow.

I only wish she hadn’t held her tongue!

I sipped my coffee, looked for palmetto bugs on the lanai. “Grandma,” I said, “I'm all right.”

She looked away, and I saw the colors of the rainbow in the prism of her pendant.

III.

What was I doing on the 2 train heading uptown in the bitter blistering freezing cold New York winter?

Heading “home” – that is, to one of the many rundown firetrap SRO hotels paid by the City of New York to house homeless people with HIV. The City's AIDS regulations set the policy: if you showed up at the HIV center at 30th and 8th before 7 PM on a given day, New York City was obliged to find you housing for the same night and for the next 30 days in a row at the very least.

Strange - in those days, New York would house you but not feed you, and San Francisco would feed you but not house you. Come to think of it, that's the way it is these days.

My dank, filthy, crawling with roaches and vermin crack-house "shelter" was way uptown, near 96th and Broadway. (I had always dreamed about making it to Broadway, ha ha.)

96th Street and Broadway stop was next. The train car was still silent as the parents sat sullenly and the child - Jesus, he can't be older than 3 or 4 years old, I thought - was staring at me, no expression on his little face, but eyes wide as saucers.

The train screeched to a stop. I got up and headed to the door, passing the couple with the small child and the loose belt. They were silent and did not regard me as I passed; the child, I think, might have glanced at me, but I’m not sure. I knew that after I got off the train, or after they got off the train, that poor kid was probably going to get beaten. Severely.

Out the door and onto the bone-chilling platform at 96th Street. A young woman who had witnessed the mother wield that belt came up to me and said, “I’m so glad you did that, I wanted to say something, but I was too…” Her voice trailed off as the pained look on her face finished her thought.

“I understand,” I said to her as our eyes met in that New York way of speaking the unspeakable, then made my way up the stairs into the below-zero winter breezes of the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

What the hell, I thought as I made my way out of the station, I had nothing to lose. Those were dark times, desperate days. I'm no angel. But just once, on that long-ago Number 2 train, I was granted the grace to do one decent thing.

Animal J. Smith San Francisco, California July 22, 2015 and June 18, 2023 v2.0

My maternal grandparents, Ed and Ethel (Schirmer) Olson, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, c. 1980

[jiamour]

nightmare blunt rotation

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: crack, a little bit suggestive, established relationship, just some guys hanging out

warnings but they’re written like ao3 tags: 18+ (it’s not smut or anything i just don’t want kids to read this), marijuana use, jeno is a lightweight, ¿somnophilia? (but like not really, he’s conscious, the lights just aren’t on in his head, everything that happens is consensual and has pre-established boundaries!!), jeno forgets how to use his mouth, drool (kinda sorta), puppy jeno, oral fixation, hair pulling, jisung thinks he’s stuck in a box and starts crying😔, gilf hunter jaemin, ¿dumbification?, if you get it you get it i just like dumb pliant men, wrote this while high and then didn’t proof read it

word count: 3.4k

sound track: here !!

a/n: shout out to the girlie who helped concoct this monstrosity @dojunie <3 couldn’t have done it w/o you😔🙏

a/n/n: disclaimer this is a major exaggeration of being stoned, do not let this fic scare you away, youll probably only get horny sleepy and hungry

summary: rule 1 is have a good time, rule 2 is dont invite jeno. sadly, the latter was not abided by and now the boys have 3 kids on the way, 1 failed engagement, and 2 money laundering schemes (allegedly)

alternatively: jeno rolls “worst joint ever” asked to leave marks grandmothers basement

marks grandmothers basement was NOT made to hold 7 people. but, mark was watching over her place for a couple weeks while she was on an ‘intimate’ retreat with her boyfriend jaemin, and he swore on his life that it was cool there.

mark had made the grave mistake of thinking the ‘gilf hunter’ occupation in jaemins instagram description was a joke. he invited him over for an innocent brunch with his sweet elderly grandmother only for him to find out 3 months later that jaemin had fucked off to florida with her to swing with other old people, leaving mark in charge of watering her plants and feeding her cats for 2 weeks.

~impromptu text so tumblr is annoying ~

~impromptu text so tumblr is annoying ~

“don’t touch that!” mark yelled, diving at donghyuck who was flipping over a picture frame hung on the wall that had previously been facing backwards. mark made sure to hide every picture of his grandmother before everyone had arrived, not taking anymore risks. making extra sure to discard of the photo with both jaemin and his grandmother present, jaemins arm around her and an evil taunting smile on his lips.

“chill man,” donghyuck laughed, trying to break himself out of marks hold but when mark firmly locked his arms to his sides he gave up and lets himself be manhandled onto the couch without much protest, “i’m a gay man, i don’t want her.”

“he’s heard that one before,” chenle’s shrieking laughter filled the room. god, there really wasn’t supposed to be this many people in this basement, especially loud people whose second language was fighting, and first was arguing.

the basement in question was a basement. nothing extraordinary like mark insisted, you assumed it was just a ploy so that he wouldn’t have to spend the night alone again. the wallpaper was old and peeling off the wall but what could be seen was a dull pink flower pattern, and the washer and dryer seemed to be perpetually running without any clothes inside.

jisung sat cross legged on top of the dryer, he was leaned back so his head occasionally bounced off the wall but he insisted it was comfortable and made him feel like he was on a bus ride everytime he closed his eyes. why he wanted to feel like he was riding a bus, no one could be sure and no one asked. not even renjun who was standing in front of him looking stressed out with his arms out stretched, ready to try to catch the larger boy if he fell. this would probably only result in renjun being crushed but you didn’t want to tell him that and mess with his vibes.

“hey baby, can you give me a paw? no? that’s okay. mark! where do you keep the cat treats?” jeno asked. and there he was, menance of the hour, squat down beside one of the cats mark was supposed to be watching, giving them a nice pat.

jeno wasn’t supposed to be here. he had read the notification over your shoulder before you had noticed he was even there and went, “oh? sesh at marks tonight?” you didn’t have the heart to tell him he wasn’t invited but chenles look of disapproval when he saw jeno following you into the basement was almost enough to make you wish you did.

in normal scenarios none of you had anything against jeno, in fact you all loved jeno. he was a regular boy next door type, the kind of guy who would change a flat tire for you or tell you that he’s not mad he’s just disappointed if you ever wronged him. mark wanted to add that jeno was also the kind of guy who would respectfully decline a full inclusive trip to florida with someone’s grandmother UNLIKE OTHER PEOPLE HE KNOWS.

but that was all sober jeno. stoned jeno was another story. stoned jeno was scary. and each and every single person in that room was trying to think of a way to get him out of there.

“uhh yeah i think there’s some on the kitchen counter if you want to check,” mark informed jeno on the location of the cat treats and jeno nodded, he stood up and brushed off his knees with a small smile.

“you coming with me, baby?” jeno asked the cat who promptly ignored him and licked at its paws but when he began to walk back upstairs the cat followed after him.

as soon as the door shut behind them, you all looked up at eachother.

“do we lock it?” chenle asked, and you can see everyone silently consider the option. would it be rude to lock jeno upstairs? probably. would it save you a lot of trouble that night? definitely.

“no, that would be mean,” jisung frowned and placed his hands beneath his thighs, leaning forward, much to renjuns discontent.

“who cares about being mean?” donghyuck fought back, “this is a matter of survival, life or death.”

“don’t be dramatic,” you rolled your eyes but that turned the entire room against you, you should have stayed quiet.

“how can you even-“ donghyuck paused and closed his eyes, taking a breath to calm himself, “i cant believe you brought him here.”

“he saw the notification! what else was i supposed to do?“ you whisper yelled and before an eruption of voices could respond chenle cut them off.

“we don’t have time to argue about this, he’ll be back any second,” chenle reminded, “rock, paper, scissors. who ever wins gets to choose what we do.”

the basement unanimously agreed this was a good call. it went on 4 rounds until donghyuck won.

“we lock him out,” donghyuck decided without hesitation.

“go do it then,” mark nudged him, trying to get him off the couch but he didnt budge.

“me?” donghyuck looked scandalized, hugging a needlepoint cushion to his chest, “you do it, you’re closer.”

“barely?!”

“i don’t want to be the bad guy!”

“but you are!”

the basement door opened and jeno returned, catless, “sorry i took forever, there’s four whole cats up there, also! i grabbed a lighter, i wasn’t sure if we had one but we do now-“ jeno stopped on the steps, noticing everyone staring at him (minus donghyuck who was groaning into the cushion he had his face buried in), “what were you guys talking about?” he tilted his head slightly to the side.

so much for that plan.

no one could tell him, that was for sure. you could almost image the puppy ears flattening on his head, he wouldn’t let it go for weeks, maybe months.

“nothing,” you eventually sighed to break the uncomfortable silence, gesturing with your hand for him to come over to where you were sitting. when he was close enough you grabbed his hand in your own giving it a little squeeze and he smiled down at you, standing between your spread legs.

it didn’t really matter what anyone said anyway. unbeknownst to everyone else, jeno had taken an edible about 30 minutes prior so he was basically a ticking time bomb. you could already notice the increased drag of his feet and the droop of his eyelids, it wouldn’t be much longer.

“are we doing this or what?” chenle complained, “i’ve gotta pass out by 1 so i can be up in time for my shift tomorrow.”

things were tense between mark and jeno, at least according to jeno. he was sat cross legged across from mark, tapping at his phone with his entire hand, which was covered almost entirely by his hoodie sleeve.

you received a sophistically written ‘he’s so mean >:( mark lee‘ promptly 5 minutes after jeno had started typing.

‘be nice’ you responded and he squinted his eyes at the bubble that popped up. he scrunched up his face with a pout and held the screen an inch away from his face with both hands trying to read the message without his tunnel vision blurring it for him.

“cant focus?” you giggled beside him, knocking your head against his shoulder as he shook his head, “poor pup.”

jeno’s one sided beef with mark had started a month ago. the last time the two had gotten high together he had managed to convince himself that mark and donghyuck had gotten married without informing him because of their matching surnames. no matter how many time mark fought back, jeno didn’t believe him. he had even given him the cold shoulder in return for not being chosen as marks best man.

the fact that donghyuck had been currently leaning on marks shoulder had further cemented this betrayal in jeno’s mind, or at least what was left of it.

“stop pouting at me,” donghyuck complained, “we’ll invite you to the next one.”

“shut up,” mark whined as jeno’s pout grew 10 fold. he knocked donghyuck’s head off his shoulder but smiled as soon as they made eye contact.

no one was sure what was going on between them but everyone knew that there was something. mostly because donghyuck had changed his facebook relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘its complicated’ and “accidently” sent a link to his account in the groupchat so mark would see. everyone, including mark, could see through it because the only other signs of life on his account where the yearly “happy birthday” posts he made for his rich aunt.

if ever asked about it, donghyuck would answer that they were “soulmates” and mark would say that donghyuck was a “pain in the ass.”

“h-help,” jisung hiccuped a sob behind you. you had been trying to ignore chenle’s routine torturing of jisung, knowing renjun would stop it when it went too far but it would be rude to ignore jisungs calls any longer.

you glanced over you shoulder to see chenle’s hands held flat in the air miming like the other was stuck in a box. chenle was mouthing words but no sounds were coming out which heightened jisungs anxiety even further. he knocked his fists against the fake air box he was stuck in and sobbed further when they halted mid swing as if there actually was a wall there.

when jisung’s eyes caught your own and he sent a plea of help you gave him a look of confusion and mouthed back wordlessly. was it a bit of a dick move? yes. but was it funny? kinda.

“pleASE,” jisung sobbed, “i have a family, i have a-“ his words squeaked off. this was enough to convince renjun that anymore teasing would have given jisung a lifetime of therapy bills.

he got up from the couch and picked up his imaginary hammer, smashing the imaginary box, freeing jisung from his prison. jisung instantly fell into his arms and sniffled into renjuns shoulder as chenle maniacally giggled.

“it’s okay ji,” renjun cooed, patting jisungs back, “let’s get you some more weed to calm you down.”

“i want ikea meatballs,” renjun said looking around waiting for someone else to acknowledge him, “does anyone else really want ikea meatballs right now?”

“fuck off, be quiet,” chenle grumbled from the couch, his feet kicked up on the table, a bucket hat pulled down over his eyes.

“ikea…” jisung repeated to himself bouncing his legs so fast he swore the whole room was shaking.

the room wasn’t shaking. in fact, jeno felt quite stable. he was a big fan of gravity he must admit, it was very comfortable, like a big everywhere blanket covering him.

jeno always claimed weed barely worked on him, it just “mellowed him out.” half of that was true. when jeno was high he lived deep inside of his mind, a scary place to everyone but himself. though he sat there unmoving, eyes closed, mouth hanging open slightly in a permanent pout, his mind was racing.

donghyuck feared him especially. one fateful night left jeno dramatically winking at him everytime they passed a cop. donghyuck had always been too afraid to ask what jeno thinks he did. he’d rather live in ignorance but he knows one day it’s gonna get him in deep shit.

“how many coins do you think we can fit in his mouth today?” mark asked looking at jeno’s open mouth intently. jeno didn’t show any sign that he had heard.

donghyuck hummed and got a closer look at jeno’s face. he moved around him to inspect every angle, jeno didn’t move, “i think atleast 25,” donghyuck answered.

you snapped in front of jeno’s eyes and he didn’t react, at first. about 30 seconds later he blinked and recoiled at the action before quickly settling back into place, “40,” you answered.

“i’ll get my grandmothers penny collection,” mark said, getting up to grab the 3 peanut jars full of coins his grandma had stored in an old chest.

mark placed the coin jars in front of you and you scooted in front of jeno, waiting for him to acknowledge your presence. he doesn’t.

“hey jen,” you smiled softly as you poured some coins into your hand, “can you open your mouth a bit more for me?”

he looked at you blankly for a couple seconds before he followed your instructions. you smiled and ruffled his hair with your free hand and he leaned into your touch.

you held a coin up to his mouth and he let you slide it in without any resistance.

“one,” you counted and placed another coin on his tongue.

by 15 donghyuck had fallen over into marks lap, unable to hold himself up as he uncontrollably cackled at the number of coins jeno had yet to acknowledge in his mouth.

at 28 jeno’s face scrunched up, a confused look on his brows. everyone held their breath. jeno settled back into his blank stare. you placed another coin in his mouth.

you placed the 43rd coin in jeno’s mouth and he glared. he shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of fur and watched as a coin fell out of his mouth and pinged against the floor.

“bleh,” jeno stuck his tongue out and shook his head again, letting all 43 coins tumble out his mouth. he looked at the scattered coins in confusion like he had no idea where they had come from. the crowd cheered, all proud you were able to beat your record of 29.

even after the coin removal his mouth hung open. god, he looked dumb. you placed a hand on his cheek and pat it softly, placing a thumb on his lips and leveraging his mouth open wider. you slip your thumb completely in his mouth and place it atop his tongue when he followed your guidance.

he stared at you without a thought behind his eyes.

“good boy,” you hummed and he perked up, the corners of his lips twitched up, looking love drunk.

you ran your thumb along the inside of his gums and his tongue followed along. his mouth was almost completely dry, you didn’t know if his cotton mouth was from the coins or the weed.

you ran your finger along his teeth and gums trying to see what would make his squirm, eventually you settled on his tongue. you press down on it, your other fingers beneath his chin, holding him in place.

you drill holes into jeno with your eyes watching for his next move.

he reached out to paw at your thighs but you tut as soon as contact is made, “hands to yourself,” you cooed patronizingly, pressing down harder on his tongue. he pulled his hands back and placed them politely in his lap.

you keep your thumb in place but nothing happens.“dumb dog,” you frowned.

he shrunk down, to the best of his ability, struggling to move with your hand holding his head in place. his imaginary puppy ears pressed flat against his head.

“cant even drool right,” you rolled your eyes and moved your thumb back just slightly, he chased it with his tongue and you lock it behind his teeth pulling him forward.

he’s tugged along easily and your finger pulled out of his mouth, your hand moved to stroke his cheek. your teeth clashed with the force of the kiss and you laughed pulling back to kiss him again gently. jeno loses the ability to kiss when he’s high, his lips leave his control and his mouth falls open all sloppy and desperate.

he tasted like metal and it’s kind of fucking gross but it’s also a little hot and doesn’t stop you from taking advantage of the mess of jeno in front of you.

you pulled away and he chased you again, managing to catch you in another short kiss before you pushed him back gently by his shoulders.

“my turn,” haechan sang and pushed himself past you and infront of jeno.

mark hands were folded together in front of him, his jaw clenched and his eyes watched the two of them like a hawk, “i would like to see it.”

jeno pushed donghyuck away as soon as he gets close and holds his hands out in front of him asking for you to sit with him again. donghyuck winced dramatically and fell to the floor, he layed flat and stoped moving entirely, you later find out he fell asleep. jeno completely ignored him.

“open wide for me again pup,” you said, sliding yourself back in front of him and hold a water bottle up to his mouth. he followed your instructions, albeit delayed, and you gave him a pat on the cheek.

water ran down jeno’s face, he struggled to swallow it as you poured it into his mouth. when the stream of water reached his neck you placed the bottle down and he didn’t move to wipe the water off of his face.

as the water began to slide below his hoodie you catch it with your tongue, lick up his neck and chin before reaching his lips and drink up the remaining water inside of his mouth.

his mouth is wide and giving but it’s not enough. the fingers of both of your hands reached around and squeezed lightly, he gasped, his jaw dropping further.

he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to move his lips to follow yours and it’s endearing the way he misses and kisses at your cheeks and chin.

you slide your hands back, they grazed the ends of his long strands of hair that you had been begging him to grow up. you twirled your fingers around tufts of his hair, your hand travelled up until it was able to grab a large chunk.

you tugged and he got pulled back with a whimper. his eyes were glassy and empty but his soft sounds of pain show he’s still there despite how pliantly he allowed you to move him around and angle his head to kiss you better.

you pulled even harder and he bares his neck, allowing you to messily mouth at it and tease gently with your teeth, your grip didn’t loosen on his hair.

“god you’re useless aren’t you puppy,” you cooed and he whimpered, though you were sure it was only from the pain, his thoughts being too jumbled and far away to understand anything but your tone of voice. you decided to pull harder one more time just for good measure.

you loved how he just sat there and took it.

jeno pat jisung on the back when he saw him the next day. jisung jumped, startled and jeno laughed.

“crazy night last night wasn’t it?” jeno asked with a wink and jisung nervously laughed.

“huh?” jisung asked as jeno rubbed at his arm pulling him into a side hug.

“like crazy, crazy. congrats dude, i’m proud of you for real.”

‘proud… of me…?’ jisung froze.

“being a father this young isn’t an easy job but i know you’re up to the job.”

‘oh my god,’ jisung felt his soul leave his body, wanting to fall to his knees in agony, ‘not a-fucking-gain’

[aurianneor]

Immigration

The images are frightening. We see caravans of migrants crossing Central America on their way to the United States. We see boats filled to the brim off the coast of Florida or in the Mediterranean. In border towns, we see hordes of young men on the streets, destitute, jumping the barriers of detention centres, living in squats, sometimes addicted to drugs.

European countries and the United States claim to be so overwhelmed that they delegate their borders to Mexico, Turkey and the countries of North Africa. They pay them to process asylum applications before the migrants have set foot in the destination country. The detention centres are inhumane and the migrants jump the barriers to get to their destination. The barrier is very easy to jump. Migrants enter countries illegally because it is inhumane to ask to enter legally. So they don’t assert their rights.

Faced with these terrifying images, we hear the Right telling us that these illegals must be punished more severely, and we hear the Left telling us that there are no problems with migrants. These migrants work for a tenth of the price and cannot assert their rights before a judge. The people most affected by migration are the rural and poor. The result of this situation of irregularity is to create an extremely cheap labour force that cannot compete with European or American labour. It is legitimate to feel helpless when faced with these migrants. The fields in the United States and Europe are full of illegal workers and the fields are not controlled. The current policy simply creates more scope for employers. The people living in rural areas are concerned, and only the right wing is addressing them.

In the short term, many migrants are arriving at the borders of the West and there is no reason why their treatment should not be organised in humane conditions. Those who wish to assert their right to asylum do not deserve prison.

In the long term, the European and North American powers have largely contributed to making the countries of the South unliveable. We must stop actively destroying these countries. Multinationals must be held criminally responsible when they commit an act in these countries that would be a crime in the West. They must be tried in the West for pollution, subversion, corruption, forced labour, child labour, etc. On the other hand, the West can and must support democratic regimes when they emerge in these countries. African revolutionaries have all been killed. This has to stop.

It is only under these conditions that development aid can be effective. If we give development aid when these conditions are not met, it feeds corruption. Only effective development aid will create decent living opportunities in these countries and reduce the number of migrants.

Taking stronger action on climate change is also important to ensure that these countries do not become hellholes.

If these countries end up receiving a fair income from their resources and labour, they will become long-term customers and trading partners and will be able to deal with the sanitary problems that threaten us all.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Peru, biodiversity in danger: https://www.aurianneor.org/peru-biodiversity-in-danger/

“How can you frighten a man whose hunger”…: https://www.aurianneor.org/how-can-you-frighten-a-man-whose-hunger-is-not/

Fair trade and organic farming: https://www.aurianneor.org/fair-trade-and-organic-farming/

How can we win back trust?: https://www.aurianneor.org/how-can-we-win-back-trust/

Humiliated by the Republic: https://www.aurianneor.org/humiliated-by-the-republic/

“Calais ou pas caler”: https://www.aurianneor.org/calais-ou-pas-caler/

Solidarité Hélvétique: https://www.aurianneor.org/solidarite-helvetique-democratie-semi-directe/

License on the Red Planet – A science fiction story: https://www.aurianneor.org/license-on-the-red-planet-a-science-fiction/

[alfredlbrock]

I am kind of shocked by the reporter's question to the Police about the status of those killed and injured in a bus crash in Florida.

The officer questioned responded, "Everything that I have been told at this point – they all have what they need to be here."

How long does someone have to be alive in order to be considered a human being?

 

The following is a poem written about this tragedy :

 

The Workers' Immigration Status

 

There are reasons why people are being driven from their homes to work their fingers to the bone for slave wages in 21st Century America - do you know what they are?

They came to work here

They came because all their work was gone

They came to work here

They came because all their work was done

They left their homes

Far behind

They left to roam

Just to follow the signs

To climb the ladders

They come on the run

Not that it matters

They burn all day in the sun

To bring us the peaches

Apples and pears

They sleep on the beaches

Take what the market will bear

With parched thirst on their tongues

Hunger in their eyes

The foreman doesn’t care how young

Doesn’t care which one dies

Their homeland is ashes

Quiet as stone

When some bus crashes

Each one is alone

Then they’re pointing the fingers

What were they here for?

As the smoky ember lingers

Did they expect any more?

Their homeland is desolate

Caked over with clay

Their lives indeterminate

They don’t care what you say

When a man is so hungry

He will leave his life

Leave out from his country

Promise his wife

He’ll be back with the money

Things will be as they were

Their lives will be sunny

Just take care of her

There’s nothing but rock there

Been flooded and burned

All the fields they are bare

No more to be turned

What happened to this dream

That it flew to the north

Song turned to scream

Can bring nothing forth

The laughing mad manager

Banana crops expanding

A Crimson Colored Tanager

With no forest standing

Went out to the Oceans

Down to the Sea

Fishing for potions

No food for me

The factory ships scraped it away

The Ocean is empty

Only rocks fill the quay

Where once there was plenty

Fever, ague and horrible cancer

Take the young and the old

Breaking open the dancer

Now no more so bold

The bus in the morning

Came shy along the road

Now families in mourning

The rich the poor goad

What was their status?

Tell us that now

Did they come here for gratis?

To feed like a sow?

Give us their reason

For being here now

Is it the season

To be offered like a cow?

Who bears the witness

To those on the bus

To those whose fitness

Belongs now to us

The food in the pantry

Lies fresh on the shelves

While steel wrapped gantry

Removes all their selves

It’s alright now

Nothing to see here

I can’t tell you how

They all came to be here

Why would they come to steal all our jobs

To take what is ours

If all that they get are dry, empty sobs

Maybe enough to buy flour

At this moment we’re conducting a massive murder investigation

A man came calling, his tongue like a spear

What were they doing in this not their nation?

Everything that I have been told at this point – they all have what they need to be here

When will they all be buried

The fields are coming on with a full crop

For our sakes now it surely should be hurried

After all, said the job boss, you can’t expect us to stop

=====================

There are reasons why people are being driven from their homes to work their fingers to the bone for slave wages in 21st Century America - do you know what they are?

English :

https://thewaynefocus.blogspot.com/2024/05/strangers-among-you.html

Espanol :

https://thewaynefocus.blogspot.com/2024/05/extranos-entre-ustedes.html7

[coffeencream]

Initial TTPD listening thoughts

I think i hyped this one up too much in my head. Frankly, i’m feeling conflicted. This post is an attempt to explain why. Here’s an itemized list, starting with the negative.

1. The writing. Obviously, Taylor’s talented with a pen. She can create a song in her sleep. This album simply felt like it lacked the special something that makes her music exceptional. The repetitive choruses, self-indulgently haughty word choices, and excess of contemporary references and name drops take away from the message of the song entirely. When fans decided that TTPD was going to be “a breakup album”, I didn’t know that meant it would linger so heavily on the same few sentiments about Joe. We get it Taylor, he cheated. You wanted to marry him and end up feeling exploited. You said that already… Most tracks left me thinking that the writing was pretty, but not good. I think of the simplicity of “Red”, how something like color can make for a clean, impactful metaphor in two lines. This was the opposite- so many words, so little substance.

2. The “vibe” (notice im not saying production, because i don’t claim to know shit about how music gets made): Jack. babe. what are we doing? A lot of TTPD felt like the same song over… and over… over… just like how I made this point already. There was also no sonic balance, each track blended into the next and I wouldn’t have noticed songs changing if it weren’t for Taylor singing the song titles many times each.

3. THE TRACK FIVE: WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE WEAKEST SONG IN THIS COVETED POSITION??? WHY??? SO LONG LONDON WAS BORING, AND IM NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT!

4. “diaristic” or “unrefined”? - all of Taylor’s previous 10 eras have felt like they were nicely polished before release. This time, the filter was gone, and many of the tracks gave the impression of being frantically scratched on an envelope in the early hours. I can understand how this feeds into the Taylor Swift brand of connecting personally to fans, allowing us the impression of friendship with her. However, for me, it read as careless, and actually decreased the album’s relatability. Hyper specific descriptions of her own breakup experience were not enjoyable to listen to, nor did they serve to advance any overarching narratives in the album.

Now, none of what I said applied to every track. I have some positive things to say as well!

1. My favorite tracks: who’s afraid, but daddy I love him, the smallest man, and clara bow

2. I loved the album’s examination of fame and Taylor Swift as a spectacle. TTPD shined when it wasn’t just being “a breakup album”, because it’s clear that this time in Tay’s life was so much more than the end of a long term relationship. The start of the Eras tour saw Taylor on top of the world, subject to all the criticism that comes with it. I felt her pain, especially in the last section of Clara Bow. She’s part of a long history of famous women being treated as sources of entertainment instead of people.

3. Love love love the aesthetic of this era. Can’t wait to see how the lore is expanded in the Fortnight music video.

4. The Florence Welch feature was very well done. Their voices blended beautifully, and it was a nice median of their musical styles. As a former Floridian, the line “Florida’s a hell of a drug” made me collapse laughing.

So there we have it! A new era! Please don’t have my head for this post, but ofc feel free to disagree or share your own thoughts :)

* please note that these thoughts were written before the release of the Anthology *

[melanch0ly-gh0st]

Proving a Point

A dumb little gt thing I made about me and my friend, @your-local-snail based off a discord convo. Why? I dunno.

“Lol you’re gay L”

“Stfu”

Such was of the most intelligent conversations Caleb and Casey had on the daily. Caleb would spend their hours spewing idly online, running their mouth with ideas and concepts and idle chatter. For some reason, Casey would always think to respond.

It was a nice and calm summer evening in Florida. For once, the air wasn’t boiling, and was actually quite chilled, complementing the dim orange evening with a heavy spread of clouds overhead. It wouldn’t be long before the day was encompassed by them; it was already beginning to drizzle.

The perfect day to yell at the funny internet people.

“Boy kisser,” messaged Caleb, curled up in bed with his head against a mass of pillows, listening idly to the first raindrops hitting the house. As the words marched off into the digital ether, another met them at the gates, popping up on Caleb’s feed below them. “Shut the fuck up.”

Peak human intellect, displayed through this meager exchange between men.

“At least I’m not a boy kisser”

“Lie”

“You wanna kiss big men”

Caleb quickly writes out, “No I don’t.”

Another response comes just as fast.

“You want a big man to hold you”

“Nope”

Casey posts a picture. It’s artwork of a man, tall as a building, gently holding a tiny.

“You want this.”

“N”

“No I don’t”

He posts another, this time of one of Casey’s ocs.

“You want to wake up in his hand, don’t you”

“You fucking queer”

“NO”

“You want him to”

“NOPE”

“Ruffle your hair with a finger”

“STOP”

“And affirm you”

“NAH NO NOPE DHUT UP”

“You want him to”

“Tell you how much he loves you”

“And appreciates you”

“SHUT”

“You fucking queer”

“Gaybo”

“I’m going. To kill you”

“Then who will have gt conversations with you??”

“You fucking dumbass”

“I hate you”

“Love you too L”

Caleb sarcastically scowled at the messages.

Peak intellectual conversation.

Caleb leaned further into their spot in bed, nestled gently amongst their plush throne. Browsing through their YouTube search bar, they fished out one of their many favorite Lo-fi albums, filling the deep recesses of their skull with a relaxed tempo. Perfect for days like these… and for fighting an angry gay guy.

“Bitch”

They silently took in the pitter-patter of the rain outside, seeping cold into the room, multiplied yet by the fan blowing cold air over them. Almost made it feel like winter; a rarity in Florida, especially during the hottest months of the year. They shivered a bit in their blanket.

“God it’s cold here”

Casey, on the other end, reaponded with a measly “L”. Caleb was confused.

“Don’t we both like cold?”

“L”

“…”

“Okay then”

They shivered a bit more, pulling their blankets in a bit more.

“If only I had a big man to”

“Hold me and make me warm”

“I am literally right here?????”

“You’re a minor and also not a giant”

“I am offended”

Caleb laughed to themself.

“Am I wrong???”

“Yes”

“I am a very big man”

“Incorrect”

“Shortass”

“You ignorant queer”

Caleb wiggles in bed, burying their head further into the pillows.

“You’ve literally told me you’re short, asshole”

“No I didn’t”

He quickly goes and retrieves a message from earlier on in the week: “I’m a short bastard”

“Explain”

The message suddenly disappears. Tricky cock.

“Bitch”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Caleb”

“Die”

“Bites you bites you bites you bites you b”

“:)”

“Y’know what fuck you you’re still not a giant”

“Bitch”

“Wrong I am. Very big”

“Short”

“Proof?”

“I will run all the way to California to prove you are short”

“Don’t need to”

“I am approaching rapidly”

“No you are on the other side of the country”

“Too bad L”

Caleb chuckled idly as they read the line out. Dumb humor like this was exactly that- dumb- but amazing. The best kind of thing for making someone like them lau-

thoom

The room suddenly shook. Once. Like someone struck the wall with a hammer.

Caleb sat up a bit when they felt it, the vibration shooting through their bones. Was that a gunshot? Did someone in the house knock over the grandfather clock or something? Wha-

thoom

There it was again.

Caleb stopped. What was that?

thoom

thoom

thoom

It was getting a little louder. And a little faster.

Caleb was on their feet fast, running to their window to see what was happening. Rain was pouring outside, but nothing was visible in the downfall that was out of the ordinary. Cars still drove by, people were shaken up a bit, but weren’t worried, and nothing seemed to shatter when-

thoom

thoom

THOOM

The rumbles felt like they were right over Caleb’s head, like at any second they might be trampled by something, crushing them and the house together. They continued to look about, but to no avail. Their family was at the casino for a bit, off doing their own thing. They were on their own.

The thooms grew louder and louder still, approaching faster and faster, until-

tap tap tap

They heard something on their house. Tapping. It was tapping.

They waited for a few seconds, heart pounding. There was silence after the taps, cutting into their thoughts as they tried rapidly to discern whether or not they should jump out the window.

Until, suddenly-

knock knock knock

Their door. Someone was knocking on their door. Granted, it still felt like manic banging, but when something just made a mad dash for your house and then tried to assault your roof, a knocking sounds far better.

Carefully, they left their room, saying hi to their cat, who was currently running around trying to dodge whatever was causing the noise, and made their way to the door. It wasn’t broken down like they thought it might be. In fact, most of the house looked fine; no damage; even though they shouldn’t really be surprised since there was no sound to indicate such.

They tried to peek through the doorhole, but was only met with a shadow, bigger than they could comprehend. They felt their heart skip a beat, their mind racing for an explanation only to be met with pure confusion. Was this an intruder? A wild animal? They didn’t wanna open the door, but some deep fear of the consequences screamed for them to turn the handle against their better judgment. They quickly poke their head out, trying to see what was up, when-

They look and see a leg. A very big leg. And a very big shoe.

And when they look up the leg, they see another leg, both in black shorts. And past the legs is a torso, covered with a blue t shirt with a blueberry on it. And higher up still is a pair of arms, a set of shoulders, and a head that-

They saw the face of that which came upon them. They’d seen it before, in pictures and a video. Their face changed from confusion and horror to utter scrutiny.

“Casey?”

Casey looked down at them with a smirk.

“Sup, shortass.”

Caleb looks them up and down. They have to be at least a solid eighty feet?

“Huh… I thought you’d be taller.”

The smirk turned into a scowl.

“Oh shut the fuck up-“

Little Caleb walked out at the sight of their friend standing at- over their doorway. Their shoe was enough to encapsulate and crush them. Big.

“How- How is this even possible?”

“What? I can’t be tall?”

“No, I mean-“

“Homophobe.”

Caleb stares at him.

“What?”

“What?”

The giant bent down, carefully bringing their face closer to the little blonde-haired white boy. Caleb could see the shimmer in his eyes.

“How did you even get over here? Or find my address?!”

“Walked over.”

“You walked over?”

“Mmmhm.”

“That doesn’t answer my second question.”

“Spite.”

“…”

Caleb and Casey stared at each other.

The giant pointed one, very large finger at them.

“Now look who’s the shorty. L.”

“I’m still confused, you… found my address… out of spite?”

“Yep. Get fucked, idiot.”

“Why are you being so normal about this?!”

“Because you’re gay.”

Caleb stared off into space, scrambling for words. What the fuck was even happening?

“I… what?”

“Shut up and let me grab you.”

“What- AUGH-“

Casey suddenly swooped down with a claw hand and scooped Caleb off the ground, fingers the size of tree logs wrapping around them and bringing them up slowly. They were tossed and turned in his grip, surrounded by warmth and centered in his palm as he brought them up to eye level. As they tried to sit up, they were met with his massive, unfettered gaze.

“Shortyyyyyy.”

“Why-Why… just why? Why do any of this?”

The giant smirked. “What, you don’t like it?” he asked, using a free index finger to mess with them, prodding them slightly here and there. Caleb looked both interested and exasperated.

“I like it, don’t get me wrong, I just-“

“Why question it then you gay bitch?” Casey quickly retorted, scratching their head with that same finger.

They sigh.

“Because my best friend suddenly both knows my address and is eighty feet tall at minimum. This defies all sense of logic and science.”

“And?”

“What do you MEAN, and?!”

“Why worry about that? Your friend is a giant, worry about that.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worrying about!”

“Then I dunno, fuckin’… don’t worry! We’re all chill here!”

“All of one of you?”

A comically-large finger pressed against Caleb’s mouth.

“Shut.”

“Sigh.”

“And- regardless, I mean look!”

Casey suddenly tightened his hand, to which Caleb found themselves enwrapped by hand, warmth surging through. The giant had held them in a vice grip, hand closing into a fist to seal away their bottom half. He held them close to his face.

“I can do this!” he said with a sting of vigor in his voice. “Why would I not do it?”

“This is very concerning.”

“Oh shush,” Casey reassured, still gripping Caleb like a stress toy. “This is cool. Admit it. Plus, I can carry you around, mess with you, let you skip like every line at the fair-“

“None of this even answers how you did it.”

Casey stared at them, lips drawing a blank.

“Uh… plot?”

Caleb reached out and smacked him across the face.

“Oh, shut it, you.”

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning coffee lovers! Hope you’re ready for some randomness because you’re gonna get some. Cheers! ☕️

Associated Press

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — Thousands of frustrated Texans shivered in homes without power for a second day Thursday, most of them around booming Austin, and fading hopes of a quick fix stirred grim memories of a deadly 2021 blackout after an icy winter storm across the southern U.S.

Poor Texans are, once again, struggling through big cold snap. It’s not surprising though, the GOP run state doesn’t care about people, only profits.

I read something yesterday that rings true: How can you tell when you’re going to have six more weeks of winter? Ted Cruz goes to Mexico.

Folks, stop voting for Republicans. They don’t care about you one little bit.

Ars Technica

HBO’s The Last of Us tries a little tenderness in a surprising episode 3

This was a fantastic episode! We got to see a couple live their best lives under terrible circumstances. I didn’t play the game so I didn’t know Bill was gay but he was already an interesting character up to that point. A prepper with the talent of a gourmet chef and a musician. Being gay was just the cherry on top and his commitment to his partner was heart warming. This episode was a quiet reprieve to what I’d imagine will be non-stop violence to the bitter end.

ESPN

Tom Brady says he is retiring “for good” from football, ending a storied 23-year NFL career during which the star quarterback won seven Super Bowls and set numerous records.

Tom, Tom, Tom. I have a horrible feeling Mr. Brady returned to football because his wife broke the news to him that she wanted a divorce not long after he retired. Football was the distraction he needed to get through it. Now the divorce is final, he’s suffered that initial pain, and it’s time to move on.

I’m so sorry you had to go through that Tom. Divorce is nothing but pain for all involved. I hope you have a beautiful life. You are football’s GOAT.

NetNewsWire

Because of Twitter’s announcement that free access to the Twitter API will end February 9, we will be removing Twitter integration from NetNewsWire in the next release (6.1.1) for Mac and iOS.

Space Karen strikes again! This time he’s hitting anyone whow uses the Twitter API. He’s tightening up while over on Mastodon things remain completely open for business! Following folks on Mastodon from your favorite feed read is so easy you don’t need a special plug-in to do it! It supports RSS right out of the box. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Also, who wants this domain? It would be great for a Space Karen watch site, like Twitter is going great.

Jeffrey Zeldman

Before the present owner, I was a Twitter Blue customer, because I always pay for software—to support its creators and help prevent it from disappearing, as so many great websites and platforms have done over the years.

Jeffrey Zeldman is an American treasure and web hero. I’ve enjoyed reading him for years and years now. This time Jeffrey shares his adventure of trying to give Twitter money. Their payment system failed. Doesn’t surprise me.

America, America

The authoritarian strongman types want us to believe in their power. They may even want us to think that their power is divinely influenced, a sign that they’re not like the rest of us, but better. Look no further than the surreal video released just weeks before the Florida gubernatorial election, complete with Voice of God-style narration and mad text about how Ron DeSantis is the fulfillment of God’s plan for a protector and a fighter.

I’m sure Florida has it’s share of wonderful people but why would you choose to live there? DeSantis is a true authoritarian scared of America’s future without bullies like him. Future America will happen. You may slow it down but it will happen. I hope to one day have a liberal society built on love and compassions for our fellow man, not some nasty place full of scared, old, white men grasping for every little bit of power they can. It’ll happen. May just be after I’m going. Here’s hoping it happens before then.

eFinancialCareers

The real problem is that C++ is neither easy nor loved. Rust got an 87% approval rate in the “most loved” category of the Stack Overflow Survey. However, only 9.3% of respondents used Rust at all and only 8.8% did so professionally. C++, meanwhile, languished at 48%.

Look, I don’t want to work on some web3 thing either. Why would I use my talents as a C++ developer to work on a thing I don’t care for? Sure, you could offer me tons of cash and it would be tempting but ultimately I’d be bored to death.

I’ve worked on award winning Windows Applications and highly performant video encoding and decoding systems. I can’t see working on trading systems. Nope, nope, nope.

NBC News

The U.S. military has been monitoring a suspected Chinese surveillance balloon that has been hovering over the northern U.S. for the past few days, and military and defense leaders have discussed shooting it out of the sky, according to two U.S. officials and a senior defense official.

This is really strange to me. We should bring it down, but in a controlled way if at all possible. It would be fascinating to examine what the onboard package contains.

Who knows, maybe it’s full of radioactive material in hopes we will shoot it down. That would be our luck. 😂

Yahoo!

WESTLAKE, Ohio, January 30, 2023–(BUSINESS WIRE)–TravelCenters of America Inc. (Nasdaq: TA), the nation’s largest publicly-traded full-service travel center network, announced today an agreement with Electrify America to offer electric vehicle charging at select TA/Petro locations with the first stations planned to be deployed in 2023. Electrify America is the largest open direct current fast-charging network in the U.S.

This is excellent! There are so many nice electric vehicles on the market today so setting up a massive charging network makes sense.

The old time car companies have caught up to Space Karen’s car company and in many ways surpassed it. Good. We need the competition.

[seasdawave]

Life bleh bleh lol

Man it’s been up and down lately but I have relearned to have fun with myself lol so it’s been great in that part. I am annoyed pretty girl is not giving me any love but oh well her cute owl eyes make up for that. I feel like I’m locked down with this girl lol I can’t really go out because I have to feed her and do many things for her and get no love in return LOL If she would give me just a tiny bit of love, that would make things easier instead of me wanting to give her away lol But I’m responsible for her so I will do my best to take care of her even if she does not love me. I hope she sees the love I give her and slowly starts coming closer to me. BUT I bought this nice fish house for her LOL it’s so funny and cute xD Blends with the aesthetic of my room ^u^ hehehehehehe I can always count that she will be there and that makes me happy. 

I met this awesome person at salsa class the other day! I am super elated! Well two things. He is a big head dancer and we are going to go travel to a jam and kill it. Another is I made so many new friends out of nowhere and I have so many adventures to go to which I’m excited about! I am going to travel with a group of friends through the whole Florida, Tennesse, NC, VA, DC, NYC, New Orleans, and New Jersey. In December, we will all go camping in VA so it will be a great time!  

It’s crazy how things change. It’s crazy how your body goes on survival mode. I believe that even though I fell in love twice in my life. (ex wife and dumpling) It can keep happening. Like when you break up with someone. You just have to move on no matter what and the brain resets itself like a machine. Then you can fall in love again. Like nothing happened. You just enjoy the beautiful memories that were once there and make sure to improve your fails. I always wanted someone I adore that I could share most of my life with. I just hope I can find a person like that soon because I always found it hard to fall in love. I think I was lucky to have found two great people and when I mean great I mean that I was profoundly in love with them. Even though, they both failed.  At the end of the day and at the end of life, I am happy to have met both of them because I would not be the same person I am today without them.

RANT coming x . x

BUT It’s incredible to see how I became such a lier at the end of my big first love. I honestly detested myself a lot. Thinking it thoroughly, I started lying the moment I learned she cheated on me. I became another person. A person full of anger. I lied about what I was doing. I lied about my love for her even sending her loving msgs while I knew it wasn’t true. I knew she was going out with another guy behind my back. I became this awful person who was seeking revenge at every step. Pretending to still be unaware of anything. I started not caring about the weird behaviors she was displaying bc I already knew what was happening. I just made it into a revenge game bc she did this to me and to this day she has been paying for it like literally. I won the game. But am I happy about it? No. Did I suffer bc of this stupid revenge game? oh yeah and I made another person suffer too. If I was to end it all early, I think I would have preferred that as I became the same person I hated. I did the same things as her. Like why? I mean sure I was deeply affected by the cheating. Sure my life felt like it was ruined. Sure all of our plans went to waste but like I just made this revenge such a big part of my life. I really did not deserve that. Pretending at every step to be her lover. Pretending at every step to be part of the relationship. Flying out to her and helping her clean her place like every month. Making sure she thought I was part of the relationship. 

I am sad to have made myself become a person I detested but I am glad I can move on from being such a lier and to being super scared and insecure all the time from my lying and feelings of my partner leaving me at any second. I don’t think anyone would love someone who constantly lied for the purpose of getting revenge and I made sure to act on the revenge until the end. From now on I will hold no evil in my heart but treat everyone with good even when they do not deserve it bc that’s how I always wanted to behave, and people have bad days. I definitely was not ready for a relationship and unfortunately it was bad timing. Things I learned from this: Revenge is not worth it. Be honest about every single detail. Don’t get into something with someone you adore if you are not fully healed and ready to give your best in the relationship. 

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.

❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜

❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜

❛ Pardon my tits. ❜

❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜

❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜

❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜

❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜

❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜

❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜

❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜

❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜

❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜

❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜

❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜

❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜

❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜

❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜

❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜

❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜

❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜

❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜

❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜

❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜

❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜

❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜

❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜

❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜

❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜

❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜

❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜

❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜

❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜

❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜

❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜

❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜

❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜

❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜

❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜

❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜

❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜

❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜

❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜

❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜

❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜

❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜

❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜

❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜

❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜

❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜

❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜

❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜

❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜

❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜

❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜

❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜

❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜

❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜

❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜

❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜

❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜

❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜

❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜

❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜

❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜

❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜

❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜

❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜

❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜

❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜

❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜

❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜

❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜

❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜

❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜

❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜

❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜

❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜

❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜

❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜

❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜

❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜

❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜

❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜

❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜

❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜

❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜

❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜

❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜

❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜

❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜

❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜

❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜

❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜

❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜

❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜

❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜

❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜

❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜

❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜

❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜

❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜

❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜

❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜

❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜

❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜

❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜

❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜

❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜

❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜

❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜

❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜

❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜

❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜

❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜

❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜

❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜

❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜

❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜

❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜

❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜

❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜

[krsonmar]

We need a WWDITS spin-off about Florida vampires

There's a moment in The Sire episode where Nandor calls the press conference and one of the vampire reporters is a newspaper journalist from The Orlando Sun-Sentinel. As a survivor of growing up in Florida myself, I thought right away, "Okay, but is the vampire headquarters in Florida really in Orlan--actually, yeah, it's in Orlando, isn't it? Getting vampirized or walking by an undead friend-group feeding on a tourist is just another night on International Drive (that's I-Drive to those of us in the FL)." Florida is undoubtedly a hotbed for vampires, I mean look at the state legislature. So I started thinking about it and obviously, The Sunshine State, yadda yadda, it's indeed very sunny and whatever, but everyone just stays inside in the air conditioning all the time. But then I realized, no, that actually is a huge problem: the sun is out longer per day than it is in more northern latitudes because of the proximity to the equator, and even though you get a lot of rain in the summer, that's only a few months of the year and it always clears up bizarrely quickly and then the sun is shining again. Staying indoors or being nocturnal is only going to be so effective and there's no basements because when you dig down 6 or 8 feet or so, you hit the water table. So I figured it has to be a lot of energy vampires, and DING DING DING so much of Florida started to make sense. People wonder why Florida is full of weirdos, and it's partly because people who didn't do so well in other places go to Florida to try again, so you have plenty of camouflage for energy vampires and probably a good 25% or so of the state's population is actually undead (and I don't just mean the elderly drivers who don't get their licenses taken away hyuk hyuk hyuk). Which means Florida is, inversely to the human population, where the highly competitive rockstars of energy vampirism go, this is the big leagues. It doesn't matter that people are covered in sunscreen or schlepping around oxygen tanks everywhere or whatever when you don't have to drink blood, and feeding is so, so easy: you can load up a carpool of energy vamps, take a drive from one exit to one maybe 5 exits down on I-4, and everyone's fed for the rest of the week.

I now have decided that every story you read of a Florida Man or Florida Woman is actually a vampire nearly getting caught as one.

[honklore]

invisible string | dreamwastaken

(requested plot by red string of fate soulmate au, dream is still a streamer, reader has commitment issues, dream just wants someone to love, chat is the best wingman, sapnap and george try but they suck, reader is timid but dream makes them feel brave, taylor swift references, this is not very deep or poetic at all, i don’t like typing y/n so after this i’m going to move to ___)

listen to: invisible string by taylor swift

In kindergarten, red strings were simply a crafting tool, and teachers never mentioned how much pain they would eventually bring.

Because when they appear, from a child’s eighteenth birthday and beyond, they tighten like a godforsaken high school ring that came in one size too small. Like the universe is a child tugging their mother towards the ice cream truck, you’re pulled around central Florida, passes faces you can’t memorize and voices too garbled to hear.

The string knows where you need to go, and when.

And you’re at the park, feeding ducks and trying to ignore that incessant pull that tugs at your pinky, when you hear it.

It’s a voice you know only because it’s a voice that’s been in your house before. At least, through your brother’s tablet screen. Some gamer online — a streamer, with a distinct wheezing laugh that you’d recognize anywhere.

And you do. Behind you.

You risk a small peak, and your heart drops into your chest. He’s tall. Too tall to not intimidate you. And his sandy hair is wavy, curling at the collar of his sweatshirt, falling perfectly into place when he runs his hands through it. When he does, you see it, the red string.

Which means he could see it too. All he’d have to do is turn around.

But you’re not ready. You haven’t been, not since you watched your cousin get rejected on her eighteenth birthday. Since you watched a string of fate get clipped in front of you, like the three fates had finally had enough of your cousin’s happiness.

It was enough to make you curl into yourself, and reject the natural pull set before you. So you run, and you try not to think of what would’ve happened if he saw you before you saw him. You try not to feel the clippers, but the blade feels tangible against your skin.

You don’t stop running until you arrive home.

“Hey chat, just wanted to do a few practice runs and catch up with you guys,” Dream mumbles into the mic, already restarting his game after deciding he didn’t like his seed. The donos begin rolling in, even before Sapnap and George have unmuted, so Dream flits his eyes to the display screen, subconsciously reading along with the text-to-speech voice, “Dream, what if we shared a string of fate? Ahaha, just kidding... unless... love you bestie.”

Dream chuckles, “Actually chat, I felt a tug today! Isn’t that weird? I was actually reading up on what that could mean, and it seems like either my soulmate is in a lot of distress, or they were in my vicinity. I’m hoping, for their sake, it’s the second one. How would you even comfort a soulmate if all you can do is tug on a stupid string?”

“Simp!” George finally unmutes just to be annoying, and Dream knows soulmates are a touchy spot for him, considering he wasn’t given a string on his eighteenth. Which is strange, but not impossible. Of course, chat doesn’t know this, because it would give them more hope of becoming George’s metaphorical soulmate, but it certainly makes for awkward conversations once Dream and Sapnap get into their own soulmate bonds.

“I’m not simping, George!” Dream feels a bit defensive, because he’s genuinely just curious. He has no interest in meeting his soulmate right now. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has his streams, and his friends, and chat. He’s fine.

[abbywastaken donated $10: dream why don’t you go back to where you felt the pull and see if you feel it again? that’s how i found my soulmate. okay luv u bye.]

“Thanks, Abby. Love you, too. Um, honestly I was in a pretty public place, so I don’t know if they would even come back anytime soon. Also, this is Orlando, right? Tourists are everywhere.”

Sapnap snorts, and Dream thinks it’s funny, since he’s in the other room. “Just say you’re a coward and go.”

“I’m not!” Dream says. “It was just a small pull, okay? It wasn’t even a big deal.”

He feels another lurch when he says that, but this one is in his chest. It taps against his heart, a quick reminder that it beats for someone else, and he needs to watch his words. “Okay, it was a big deal. Sort of. I’ll go tomorrow, okay chat?”

Chat is spamming all types of messages, from encouragement to jealousy. Dream manages to read off a few donos and create his first nether portal of the stream. He answers as they appear, eyes scanning for a fortress. “No, I didn’t see them… I’m not telling you guys where I was, that’s weird… I’m wearing a sweatshirt and jeans… Hi, Sarah and Patrick…”

He trails off as the donos do, and works at getting blaze rods. George is talking about a riddle he just learned, and he’s trying to trick Sapnap into saying something stupid.

Lost in his own thoughts, he finally closes the stream after a hasty goodbye. “What if I missed my chance?” He asks the two boys on the other line.

“It’s a string of fate, Dream,” George says. “You didn’t miss your chance.”

“Maybe they saw how ugly you are and ran away,” Sapnap says, completely joking, but the thought lingers in Dream’s head.

Did they feel the tug, and run away?

You pour cereal for yourself, and when your brother shuffles into the kitchen, you make him a bowl as well.

He’s eleven, and as little brothers go, he’s pretty chill. Aside from the inappropriate jokes and hogging the bathroom when you have to get ready for work, you like hanging around with him.

You pass him his bowl, and he grins. “I’m gonna watch Dream’s new video on the TV, since mom’s not home.”

You furrow your brows. Dream must be one of the dozens of streamers he likes. Maybe one of his friends will be in chat with him, and you will be able to connect a voice to a face. “Can I sit with you?”

He gives you an odd look, and it’s true, you don’t ask to watch videos with him often. “I guess.”

You eat a spoonful of cereal and settle into the couch while he gets everything ready. He clicks on a lime green icon of a little white blob man, and when the first video appears, you’re taken aback by the voice.

That’s the voice you heard. It’s this one, out of all the random men yelling about a block game. It’s Dream.

“Why doesn’t he show his face?” You manage, wanting information about the person that shares your string.

“What?”

“Like, he’s handsome, right? Why doesn’t he have a facecam?”

Your brother snorts. “Handsome? He’s never shown his face, Y/n. Don’t you know who Dream is? He’s like, super famous.”

“Oh.” You think of his golden hair, as sunny and soft as the glow around his entire being. His voice right now, joyous as he gets chased by his friends. “I mean, I don’t keep up with streamers.”

He begins to explain Dream and his friends, along with lore in their role play server, and it’s all interesting enough that you sit and listen, holding on to the little bits of information you can collect about your soulmate.

You file these facts in a secluded corner of your brain and try to make a whole person, along with the hair and the laugh and the intense music he plays as he gets hunted by his friends.

By nightfall, you’re following all of his socials and binge-watching his old streams, holding on to the way he speaks to his friends, and the fond way he replies to donos.

[dreamwastaken is live!]

You click on it, bundled underneath your covers as if someone might see you and find out your secret.

“Hi, chat! I know I was just live yesterday, but I cut it too short and wanted to come talk to you guys.”

He uses his avatar to wave at the screen, and it’s kind of an adorable sight.

[gogysimp donated $25: did you go see your soulmate?]

Your heart stops. Does he know? Did he see you? Or even worse, has he already found someone else, and he just hasn’t severed the tie?

“No!” Dream’s laugh pulls you out of your worries. “I was busy with meetings today, actually. And I was too nervous. Sapnap also refused to come with me, so I’m just going to go another day.”

So he didn’t see you. He just knows you were there.

You click the donate tab before you can stop yourself.

[y/n donated $1: would you reject your soulmate if you didn’t like them?]

Dream mumbles the question, and you try to ignore the way your heart deflates when he skips saying your name. “I don’t think so,” he states plainly. “I mean, logically, a soulmate would be your other half, so I wouldn’t not like them. But I know some people just don’t click, or there are other issues. So, I don’t know. I guess the only thing I can say is that I don’t want to reject them. And I hope they don’t reject me. I mean, imagine finding out your soulmate is a Minecraft Youtuber. That would be pretty weird…”

You giggle to yourself as he trails off and answers another donation. So he’s against rejection. Okay. Maybe you have a chance.

[kyra donated $60: i’m your soulmate.]

“Meet me where you felt the tug, then,” Dream says sassily. “Chat, don’t be weird, okay? I can’t control who my soulmate is, and I don’t want you guys to exclude them if they become a pat of my life.”

Oh, you think. So his chat is vocal about their opinions, and apparently they mean a lot to him. You shiver despite your warm position and imagine how annoying you might seem to his loyal viewers: someone who only knew about him because of their brother.

Insecurity pushes against your chest, so you close the stream and push your phone away, hoping to forget this ever happened, that maybe you won’t have to deal with the inevitable if you don’t think about it.

Yogurt Barn isn’t the first place on your list of dream jobs, but it has decent pay and helps you pay off student loans, so you appreciate it nonetheless. The teal sweatshirt they gave you as a uniform keeps you warm as you scoop the frozen treats.

Your coworker, a girl named Madison, is busy manning the counter, so you check each flavor and refill the ones running empty.

“Can I ask you a question?” Madison met her soulmate, Anna, only days after she got her string. It was a textbook romance, two people meant for each other, no doubt in anyone’s mind. She might be able to help you now. That is, if you can even admit to who your soulmate is.

“What’s up?”

“I felt the tug,” you say, avoiding her eyes in favor of restacking the medium cups.

“No way!” Madison is perky in a way that makes you want to be included. You like this about her. “Did you see them? Did you talk to them?”

“He—” You want to say that the part of him you saw was perfect, enough to keep you up when you should be dreaming. But reality is nothing if not disappointing. “I ran.”

“Y/n…” Madison gives you a stern look — like a mother finding out their child didn’t defrost the chicken in time. “Why would you run?”

“I don’t want to be rejected.” The magenta swirls painted onto the walls are a stark change to the clay sidewalks of the strip mall. “And before you say he wouldn’t… It’s happened to my cousin. It’s possible.”

Madison frowns. “But that can’t be the only reason, right? I mean, we all know someone who has been rejected. It’s usually not the end of the world for them.”

“He’s a famous streamer,” you blurt, and you’re thankful the shop is as empty as it is. Just the words themselves sound fake.

Madison snorts. “Like, gaming? That’s what’s holding you back? He’s a gamer?”

“I don’t care that he’s a gamer!” You hiss. “I care that he has a loyal fanbase who more than likely all want to be his soulmate!”

“You can’t say that for certain,” Madison says. “I mean, everyone knows about the soulmate system. If you watch someone and don’t feel the pull, you know they aren’t your soulmate, right? So why wouldn’t they accept you?”

“I don’t know,” you say. “I’m just scared. I mean, he’s got this huge following and everything and I’m just me. I work in a yogurt shop for goodness’ sake.”

You head into the back to grab more cups, and the bell rings, signaling a new customer.

“Welcome to Yogurt Barn, what can I get for you?” Madison’s customer service voice pricks your ears.

You sift through the boxes to find the smaller cups and listen to the customer’s order. “Can I have a strawberry cone?”

Your string pulls, that same familiar voice filling your head, not on the screen but once again just a few feet away. He’s infiltrating your life, so close you could reach out and touch him, but it’s such a terrifying thought that you set down the cups.

You tear off your apron, and run into the break room to grab a water and calm yourself down.

It’s ten minutes before Madison comes back to find you. “Hey, are you okay? You disappeared.”

You take a deep breath and stare at the poster on the wall. It’s brightly colored, with a walking yogurt cup waving and reminding employees to wash their hands before scooping. “That was him. The guy— the pull— Dream— I can’t— Does he know? Is he following me?”

“It’s okay,” Madison runs her hand down your back. “It’s okay. He isn’t following you. When the pull starts it tends to draw the couple together until they meet. He probably doesn’t know it’s you.”

You nod and take your breaths in gulps. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.”

“Why don’t you go home early, okay?”

Dream is live again.

Fresh out of the shower, you pull a t-shirt over your body and burrow into your blankets. Earbuds in, you try to focus on the sound of his voice, ignoring every ounce of anxiety that’s been riddling your mind.

“Hi, chat. I’m gonna practice speed runs again. I think George is joining soon.”

You open the chat and scroll through the emotes, clicking the ones you like and sending them, just to calm yourself down.

[kylo donated $5: did you find your soulmate?]

Dream laughs. The sound makes your chest tighten with longing. Your fingers ache. “Actually, I went to the place I felt the pull again. I dunno what I was expecting, but they didn’t show up. But after that, I was running some errands and I felt it, chat! I felt the pull again.”

He trails off while his character starts to look for a lava pool. “I feel discouraged but I don’t want to like, chase them, you know? I don’t want to scare them off.”

You click the donation tab again.

[y/n donated $1: maybe your soulmate heard your voice and got scared of you because they watch your videos.]

It’s not the total truth, but it might help him sleep better. You don’t want him to feel discouraged, but you can’t bring yourself to follow the pull.

“That could be a possibility…” Dream crafts a portal and sends his character through. “But I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay. Like, we don’t have to rush into anything.”

[y/n donated $1: They probably wish they could talk to you too]

“Thanks, Y/n.” He sucks in a breath as soon as he says your name. The Minecraft pause screen appears and the sound of a discord call can be heard.

Your heart pounds in your chest. Something about him saying your name just solidified everything. Your arms feel hot and cold all at once, like you’ve just been thrown in a frozen lake. He has to be feeling it too.

“Chat, I gotta go, okay? I’ll try to stream again soon.”

“Hello?” A sleepy voice comes in through Dream’s earbuds.

“George! Their name is Y/n!” Dream is so excited, his voice raising a few octaves as he talks. “Someone donated with that name and I felt like, super weird. I didn’t feel it until I said the name out loud.”

“That’s crazy,” George says, monotone but supportive. “Do you think the dono is actually them?”

“I don’t know,” Dream scrolls through their past donos and quickly screenshots each one. “I mean, they definitely could be.”

He shares the pictures in their group chat.

George hums. “It sounds like they’re trying to tell you how they feel without admitting that it’s them. Where did you say you felt a pull?”

“At the park, and at the yogurt shop down the road.”

“So go there again. Maybe all they need is a little courage. If you feel the pull this time, you should follow it.”

Dream thinks about it for a moment before finally agreeing. He changes the subject to their next jackbox stream, and George is now happily talking about how they’re going to team up against Sapnap.

He goes into Sapnap’s room that night. He sits on his desk chair while Sapnap sits cross legged on his bed, scrolling through his phone. “Do you wanna get frozen yogurt tomorrow? My treat.”

“Hell yeah!”

The new strawberry-lemonade custard is a hit. Not only are the colors aesthetically pleasing for the teenagers who want a nice snapchat story, but there was a promotional coupon in the mail that has people lining up to the door.

“It’s not even that good,” you tell Madison while the two of you are on break. You’re both using a sample spoon to try out the new summer flavors, and in your opinion, strawberry-lemonade isn’t even the best one. “Blood orange is better.”

Madison wrinkles her nose. “No, blue raspberry is best.”

“It’s sour, though,” you say.

“Guys! Break’s over and you’ve got a line!” Your manager stares disapprovingly at the cups of custard the both of you are indulging in.

“We’re coming.” You toss the cup into the trash and walk out, scratching at the sudden itch on your pinky finger.

Pulling on your gloves, you grab a scoop and address the first customer, “Welcome to Yogurt Barn.”

“Hi!”

You still like you’ve been caught stealing on camera. You look up, hand clutching the scoop so tightly you can feel the cold steel through your gloves.

It’s Dream.

It’s him. He’s tall, and his hair is a sunshine blond, dark at the roots and curling beneath his ears. And his freckles… little spots all across his cheeks so endearing that you get a little distracted staring at them.

Then he’s talking, and you have to focus on his jade-green eyes, not his lips, which are a warm pink. “It’s you.”

You blink. Fear strikes your spine and you drop the scoop. “I gotta go.”

“Wait!” Dream calls, just as Madison shouts your name.

You exit out the back door again. Your heart is pounding against your chest, ribs expanding, and all you can hear is the sound of your name coming out of his lips, just last night through a screen.

“Y/n?” Only it’s in front of you, a few feet away, and he’s searching your eyes for any reassurance that you won’t run away again. That you won’t reject him. “That’s your name right?” He keeps talking, a nervous smile flitting across his face. “The donos? That was you?”

You can see the string now, red and blaring, tightening with each step Dream takes. It’s signing off your fate, for better or for worse, and you can’t fathom why he’s trying so hard, why he cares so much.

It’s hot in Florida but you feel cold, chilled to the bone. You straighten up. You figure you owe it to him to look up in the eye.

He leaves you breathless, eyes shining in the sun. “It was me,” you say. “You’re Dream.”

“Clay, actually,” he says. His smile widens, and it’s magnificently bold. He’s triumphant, just from your reply, and that alone gives you the slightest bit of hope.

“Clay,” you say. “I’m— I’m not— I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“You don’t have to be.” Clay is quick to reply, hands open and palms up. It’s a complete surrender — putting it all in your hands. “We don’t have to announce it. We don’t have to be anything at all, if you need time. But I would like to be your friend. If— If that’s okay.”

But you want to be close to him. The draw of your strings pulling each other closer and closer makes you want to wrap your arms around him. If he hasn’t rejected you, maybe you can do this. “I– I want to be more than friends, but I’m terrified of you rejecting me. I’m afraid of the string getting cut.”

Clay set his brows, “I won’t let that happen. We’re connected. Fate, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, and it’s a sigh of relief. “Okay. Maybe I’ll give you my number?”

“I’ll give you mine!” Clay is animated, holding out his hand for your phone. “That way you can text me when you’re ready.”

The red string shines like gold in the Florida sun, and when your fingertips brush, it burns with a satisfying warmth.