#this literally just happened

[bladewench]

[angel-syzygy]

husk: i’ve met a lot of people who couldn’t name all 7 continents

angel dust: you can, right ?

husk: of course i can

angel dust: good because one person in this relationship has to be able to

[whoisspence]

it's crazy that when i hear the word "read" cannot help it but think about a specific nerd

[claireclaymore]

When Gale snap.

Katniss: this fucking rude idiot!

When Peeta snap.

Katniss: He is having a bad day.

[corrupteddoodles]

AN-THEDUCKIN EXPOSED

[kuchipark]

Super mean criminal: Draw something or I’ll kill your family.

Me: Okay.

Super mean criminal: And it can’t be Style.

Me: Aw, okay.

Super duper mean criminal: Or Kenny.

Me: Tell my family I love them.

[thenorthernchild]

my 68 year old university lecturer after he saw me writing on an ipad with an apple pencil:

[horny-tboy-69]

I absolutely love it when bratty sluts try to act all innocent just to get a rise out of me, and they love the fact that it pretty much always works.

Awwww, you wanna act like you don't know that I want your mouth on my cock? Fine, I'll just grab you by the hair (or collar) and fuck your face, how about that?

[your-dm-and-trans-bestie]

happy monday, witches 🙃🌩🤷‍♀️

[stardustshimmer]

I just watched a small child eat a fry off the floor in a McDonalds.

[regulus-books]

regulus: *gets mad bc sirius threw small bits of wood on his bed*

sirius: god, what is your problem today!?

regulus: ME? what is your problem today

[crescent-cubed]

Something I realized today. if you (a. are naturally skinny enough so that you can just barely see your ribs while not being underweight, and (b. have enough ass, you technically have an hourglass figure, regardless of gender

[cranberrytea451]

Me: Dude, that stray cat really likes you.

My friend, with a stray cat rubbing up against his legs: All the stray cats in the neighborhood do this.

Me: So...you are a pussy magnet?

[miraclepatty]

Imagine your F/o comforting you after the fricken state alarm thingy goes off in your ear 😰

[Proship DNI!!!]

[lilimonarch]

#13 Sickfic prompts and thoughts

Person A thinks they may be coming down with something, and they are overly exhausted, but they typically have eyebags.

A: Hey, Person B? Do I look tired?

B: You always look tried... so I need a difference between 'normal eyebags Person A' and 'exhausted eyebags Person A'

A: *pulls up photo, maybe they have to scroll a while*

B: Yikes, A. You do look exhausted-

[foreheadlicker69]

Based on true events