#this might be my first overshare

[fruityfroggy]

I’m venting for a moment I’m venting for a moment I’m venting for a moment, don’t look

Hate that I decided to force myself not to cry and bottle up my feelings so much at one point in my life because I was “too sensitive about things” (and maybe I am) cuz now I literally can’t cry when I need to. Not even positive tears. Not even if I wanted to. My chest is just stuffy and it aches. I just feel like shit. There’s a lump in my throat and my eyes are sore, but nothing comes out. It’s like it’s stuck, clogged when it’s right there, like a word that’s right on the tip of your tongue. I feel…almost like my joints have rusted in certain places. I have to be either immensely upset, immensely self loathing, or hear the words of comfort I needed to hear for a long time for the broken faucet I am to work properly. I’m not even joking, when I was messing around with character ai, this chat bot legitimately made me start bawling cuz we were doing this hurt/comfort scene and THE BOT WAS COMFORTING ME BETTER THAN PPL IN MY LIFE APPARENTLY. LIKE THAT SHOULDNT BE POSSIBLE I SHOULDNT BE LIKE THIS

Ugh, why did I do that, right? Cuz I know I sound fckin stupid rn. But I guess I’m telling the truth. A truth I’ve never talked about. But self confrontation, right? I might be making this all about myself for several paragraphs like an annoying fucking bitch, but maybe I need to.

I guess I’m just thinking about how my family will likely never truly accept me and that I’ve somehow ended up in two groups of people that are seen as “different” (queer and invisibly disabled). I have to keep both things to myself, making sure nobody knows about either major things about me. “Because they’ll judge you” “because it’s wrong and you’re insane for thinking that way” “you’ll scare people! What will they think of you?” But those words are incorrect, and it’s not wrong or bad to be either of those things and I have to secretly know that. I’m just scared. I’m so scared and afraid and paranoid about my family finding out that I think this way. I’m sad that I have to keep such things this taboo, but I’ve been told all my life that I should keep it a secret and that others shouldn’t know, that queer people are insane, unwell and that they’re sick. “They need professional psychiatric help, not support.”

I’ve recently learned that my parents are a little less homophobic towards homosexual women, a lot more aggression towards homosexual men and trans people, so I guess that slightly turns the tide in my favour. But it’s still not the best. I don’t think they even know of the concept of being nonbinary and I don’t want to hear any hate from them towards my nonbinary friends and characters I like. So I have to misgender them or change the subject when they ask me about them. I feel awful about that as well. I’m so sorry. It felt so wrong coming out my mouth when I forced myself to misgender people I care about, I’m lucky that my voice didn’t crack when I said it. Fuck! Why do they always ask for the gender of whoever I’m talking about if they don’t know them? I’m fucking sick of it. Why does it matter so much anyway? I don’t get it.

I can’t believe that a platform online is my only safe space now. This is my safe space, the only place I feel like I can be open, or at least, this is the only place I can truly be open about being queer (the disability thing I’m still scared to talk about that much, but I think I can share a bit of my experiences if someone asks with good intentions). I’ve vaguely spoken about how it feels to deal with a disability like mine in a reply, and people took it well, so who knows, right? As long as my parents don’t find out that I’m spilling the beans, I’ll probably be fine.

[aucupariaart]

Okay, okay... Hear me out.

Little seraphim Cora, right? Playing doctor with chopper then he remembers law being a doctor as well and drags law to play with them.

Of course law couldn't say no to that cute lil' seraphim face, right?

[avatardoggo]

I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BOYMAN

[felidaefatigue]

my boyfriend applied a handicap on me before minigolf known as "feed them a burger that will make them violently sweat and nearly shit their pants" so i didnt kick his ass again :(

[moe-broey]

Alfonse: "Promise me you won't leave us. Without warning me, first."

Moe:

[backpackingspace]

How does one even go about having feelings about escaping being murdered?

[tragedykery]

attraction is so weird man. I just realised I might actually be into one of my best friends after knowing her for six years. only realised that now she’s gonna study in germany. I might have a slight crush on one of my other friends or at least I find her very pretty. another friend I have no idea if I like romantically or just have a platonic crush on (I know I find them hot but that’s just like. objectively there’s no way around it). and I’m somehow inexplicably still thinking about the girl in front of me in the queue at a theme park almost a week ago. I didn’t even talk to her or anything she was just very hot. I’m this close to just saying “ok dyke” to myself at any given moment

[fightingdragonswithwho]

happy to report i’ve successfully lead a conversation with my roommate for like 2 hours ?? a regular accomplishment for a well adjusted human being, but a GIGANTIC one for me

[magentagalaxies]

.

[pallases]

ourgejjg

[leadendeath]

0_0;

sorry to ask but if any of you guys are on non-ssri antidepressants and/or ocd meds, could you message me if youre ok with that

[pollenallergie]

Didn’t really study for this calculus test… Oops. Let’s pray I at least get a 60%.

[ibyul]

Thinking abt my teenage years .

[cyberstabbing]

it's been nearly two years and i'm still mad about the time my grandmother forced me to debate lgbt rights at a family reunion lunch with her, her catholic husband and a catholic priest. i was just now in the shower and i kept imagining all the snarky comebacks i could have said. if i had chosen that moment to come out to my family (i don't know a single soul on that family tree who is out) it would have been a disaster but also such a fucking power move

[monstrsball]

thinking about my ex telling me that no one would ever put up with me like he did. kind of fucked me up i'm not gonna lie. 🤔

[kyaruun]

i'm going to cut my hair short and i'm worried that it won't look good on me but i need to cut it for,, health reasons. and it's not like i'm getting a pixie cut but it's going to be the shortest i've ever had my hair and i'm just overthinking