#this might be the last chance to read K’s writing for awhile

[petrovna-zamo]

[uramichislefttiddie]

Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan Alphabet

||Contains: Uramichi Omota + Iketeru Daga||

||Warnings: NSFW||

Reminder! Please don’t comment anything that implies your age, I cannot stop who reads this unfortunately but I can at the very least give out a warning that this contains nsfw content.⚠️

please forgive me I could not stop laughing whilst writing this, I had to skip specific words because it did not sound right to me and my childish behaviour😭

Uramichi Omota:

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

If anything all this man will want to do is try and get a good nights rest even if it means only a couple hours of sleep. He will make sure however you are cleaned up and are alright before he deals with himself. He’d never leave you to care for yourself, he always makes sure he cares for you first. He’s very touch starved meaning he makes sure he gets cuddles and kisses before you both drift off into a slumber!

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite body part on himself most likely would be his muscles specifically his toned arms, I mean he’s a former gymnast so what can you expect? On you his favourite part would be either ass or thighs, the reason mainly being it’s something he can rest on, or another reason being he loves to mark your thighs up not caring if anyone can see, also he just genuinely likes groping your ass however he’ll only do that in privacy, he’d rather not have the risk of someone having just witnessed him groping your ass in public. In make out sessions always expect his hands to be roaming either along your thighs or ass there’s no other option it could be.

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

Majority of the time he will make sure to not cum inside you meaning hell either do it over your face or body, however once in awhile if you allow him he will not pass up the opportunity to cum inside you. When I say once in awhile, Uramichi will try and make it near enough every time that you allow him to cum inside, he just loves the idea of having the risk you could end up with having his children. (Russian roulette type beat/j) and a plus to him is that if he can cum in you it means less cleaning to do.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

Now I get a strong sense that this man really wants to try bondage with ropes especially, wether it be you that’s tied up or him he doesn’t care either way he really wants to try it. But he doesn’t want to scare you off by asking so he still hasn’t mentioned it and he doesn’t want you to start making fun off him about it💀 however you’ve had an inkling for awhile that he’s got something about being tied up.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

Now he may be 31 years of age but this man has never gone past kissing someone before he met you. You were his first and oh boy he had no clue what he was doing, mainly because he was nervous and couldn’t comprehend what was truly happening. He has watched his fair share of porn etc but when it came down to actually doing it himself he mind had become fog. Overtime though he’s come to learn what you like best and least and has took that into account and now it’s as if he’s been doing it for years.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Now he’ll most likely switch between a mating press or doggy style. The reasoning for mating press is it allows him to be more face to face to you and he can see your face during it which turns him on even more. And let’s be real he more than likely has a breeding kink. So mating press + breeding kink = heaven to him. Now the reason for doggy style is because he loves having your bare ass slam against him and watching it jiggle when he slaps it. He also loves leaving marks on your hips meaning doggy style makes that all the easier.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Uramichi is probably the type of be serious, he might laugh there and than every so often if something a bit funny happens but overall he’s pretty much serious and that’s just him.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Unshaven, however he will trim it if you ask him to, but seeing as he’s 31 I think he couldn’t care less about body hair as it���s normal and he just sees it as a waste of time to have to repeatedly shave.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

80% of the time he will be rough, releasing out all the pent up anger and frustration, but he still makes sure your ok. Although there will be them days where he just wants to be more romantic than rough and his whole demeanour will have flipped upside down and he’ll be acting all lovey dovey. Plus most definitely a switch.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

Nah, not really, if he’s in that type of mood and your not with him he’ll either wait or come meet you wherever you are so he can get relief.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Gagging, Breeding, Bondage, Dacryphilia, cockwarming

L: Length (how big they are)

He’s more girthy than long, he’s probably about 6 inches which is a good length all in all.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start whining at him for attention or if you raise your voice at him because oh boy that really does set off something in him when you raise your voice.

N: No (something they will not do)

Knife play or anything that could seriously harm you even by accidental.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers giving than receiving but once in awhile he’d just want you to be the one giving it to him and making him fall under your touch.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

He’s not necessarily fast but rather hard. By that I mean he will go full force into you where both yours skins slap against each other and where he will grunt a lot which oh boy is hot.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

Surprisingly he does them a lot seeing as he has work 6 days a week which really only leaves him with one day where it can just be you and him all day. So either he’ll do one in the morning or at night but it depends if he’s feeling too tired after work.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Now he’ll hate someone interrupting so he always makes sure you both do it where the chances of getting interrupted are reduced drastically, plus it’d be very embarrassing for someone to walk in. Usahara now always make sure to knock before making his grand entrance into his apartment. The risk of you getting pregnant kinda excites him in a way so you gotta watch out with this man.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

On an average he can last around 2-3 rounds but on a very good day it feels like it’s never ending, he just needs that motivation if you get me.

T: Toys (do they use them)

No. He’s never really been into them and they’ve never sparked his interest.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s quite fair to be honest, he makes sure you both equally get what you both want but there can be times he can be a tease when he’s in one of them type of moods.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Majority of the time he lets out grunts rather than moans, he gets embarrassed if he moans however after the time you told him you like it when does he doesn’t hold back anymore but like I said most of the time he grunts and breathes heavily.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

Like I said, more girthy than long.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

It’s shockingly quite high, although it may not show when he’s near you expect him to be quite touchy most of the time waiting for you to get the signal. In simple terms he’s quite the horn dog.

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

I’ll say it straight. He goes to sleep incredibly fast, but he won’t before he makes sure your cleaned up and settled down!

Iketeru Daga

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

This boy will give you the best aftercare ever. You hungry? Ok he’ll go make something for you. You want to go for a drive? Ok he’ll take you for a drive. You want a shower/bath? Ok he’ll go prepare you one. You understand me now. He will double check your ok and cleaned up as best as possible. Will always make sure you’ve gone to the toilet afterwards and have had some water. Will fall asleep with you in his arms always whilst reading to you.

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite part of his body will be his hands, not only because they’re pleasing to the eye but because he knows his long fingers can make you come undone very quickly and easily and that gives him somewhat of a boost. His favourite part of your body to him will be your lips, he loves the feeling of them when he kisses you or when your kissing him anywhere (😏 /j)

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

He loves seeing his cum dripping down your face, the way it leaves a shine along your face just looks so pretty to him. So he prefers to cum over your face or in your mouth to where he can see it dripping down yourself. Don’t get me wrong he’d love to cum in you but he’s responsible and would rather wait until you both want a child so he doesn’t need to worry about getting you pregnant.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

He likes to be choked. Awhile back you had no clue until you accidentally did and that’s when the game got even more interesting. He really just overall loves seeing you in charge.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few girlfriends in the past but never gone as far as to do more than make out with them, he’s always said he’d save it for the when the right person comes along and he knows it the right person. But he very much does know what he’s doing, he knows how to make you feel good, he’s done plenty of research.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Reverse cowgirl. He absolutely loves you riding him and if it means reverse cowgirl it allows him to smack your ass and fondle it, also allows him to easily guide you with your hips. Damn he goes berserk when your in this position I tell you.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Do I even need to say? Of course he’s going to be goofy, the man laughs at dick jokes. However once he starts laughing that’s it, he won’t be able to stop for awhile, it’s honestly become uncontrollable.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Honestly, he leaves it down to you and what you prefer, he doesn’t mind if you prefer shaven or not either way he’ll go with what you like.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

Probably the slow but long stroke type of guy. He loves the way you start to become impatient and fidgety. He loves the look in your eyes when he’s facing you.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

He only will if he hasn’t seen you for a few days or hasn’t been able to do anything with you. He prefers doing it with you actually.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Choking, Food Play, Cockwarming, Spit, Praise

L: Length (how big they are)

Longer than girthy, he reaches about 7.5 inches, he can definitely reach the high spots.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start to praise him, especially with “good boy” that will get him going almost immediately, it just switches something on in his mind so very quickly.

N: No (something they will not do)

He’s willing to try most things as long as you feel safe and he feels safe and you both know to be careful and know how far to go with everything.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers receiving than giving, he just loves being able to watch you go down on him and struggle. But when you want some he will be more than happy to give.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

Life I previously said, he’s the type of guy that goes slow but he makes sure he’s hitting all the right spots that you like and that gets you going.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

He prefers to not have them but if it comes down to it and you really want one he will do so, but don’t expect it to become a regular thing.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Oh he’s scarred many peoples eyes and mind because he simply “forgot” to lock the door and close the curtains/blinds. Poor Uramichi as if he hadn’t enough going on. He doesn’t really want to risk getting you pregnant though, so he will use a condom.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

He can go for a straight 3 or more rounds, it normally stops when it’s you that can’t take anymore not the other way round, he always waits until you’ve had your pleasure before he’ll stop.

T: Toys (do they use them)

Now he’d never admit it, but before you two started being sexual he had quite the few toys. He most likely had a flashlight, tenga egg and a cock ring for example. Them type of ones.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s the fairest of them all, he’d make sure your getting what you need and than sort himself out, he’s never once been unfair to you.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Now…this mans a full on moaner and he has no shame about it. He honestly has that type of pretty moan too, where he whimpers at the same time and he will not look away either. Oh and if your the one sucking him off, be prepared because he can’t hold back at all, it’s honestly like heaven to him.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

As already said he’s quite long compared to others, he reaches about 7.5 inches.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Probably around average but if you get him going well-

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

Will not go to sleep no matter what before you, it always has to be you that falls asleep first before he can fall into a slumber. He always wants to know your safe. And plus if you’ve fallen asleep he will clean you up if you haven’t already, and will leave some water and paracetamol next to you for when you wake up and if he leaves before you in the morning or wakes up before you he’ll always leave a little note next to you too.

[roscgcld]

NANAMI KENTO + GOJO SATORU || the one that got away

request: i'm literally in love with your fics- i was wondering if you could write a Nanami x reader x Gojo where Nanami and the reader were dating before he left Jujutsu Tech, but they break up when he leaves. When he comes back he realizes he's still in love with the reader but she's engaged to Gojo and there's just a bunch of angst and tension. Sorry ik that's a lot :') But ty!!

note: lowkey thought you wanted a nanami x reader x gojo and i was like ‘oh babes am so ready-’ until i rer-read your request lmao! but honestly this was a lot of fun to write. tbh, if i was reader I would choose nanami cause rn am a whole ass SIMP for the man that is nanmi kento cx but i hope i managed to capture what you wanted in this request babes!

pronouns: she/her

“Maybe we should take a break.”

Those six words were engrained into the mind of Nanami Kento for the rest of his life. Those six words were the words that tossed his world upside down - and every time those words came into mind, the imagine of your crying face comes with it. 

You were so distraught, yet you put up a brave front as you gave him a shaky smile - something that he loves so much about you. That even though his explanation as to why you two should break up was childish, selfish even; you still go the extra mile to make sure that he knows you understand. That you understand why he wants to take a break so that he can focus on himself and his career.

“I understand, Nami...just know I love you, okay?”

Your simple words, coupled with your tearful eyes and watery smile made him want to take back the words as soon as possible. That he wants to just turn back time and just admit to himself that he was going to regret his decision. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to. If he did go back in time and stopped, he might end up breaking your heart again; if not with more bitterness and anger. 

When he was young, he hated that he was a jujutsu sorcerer - hated how he has this responsibility over him that he never asked for. He just wanted to be free from the jujutsu world and never look back. You were different - you were so proud that you were a jujutsu sorcerer, always a beacon of light in the dark reality that is being a sorcerer. Somehow you made it bearable for him, and at one point he thought he can do it for the rest of his life. Until after the death of Haibara Yu, a classmate that the both of you call a dear friend.

It was at that moment that he snapped, and he knew he didn’t want to do this anymore.

Yet he couldn’t force himself to drag you away from something you love so dearly, something you see as your duty to protect. He knew that either way he was going to be selfish, and either way tears were going to be shed; so he chose the one that would hurt the least. However, now years down the line, he still thinks that maybe things could have worked out. There was no denying that he still loves you - even though he keeps in touch with his senior, Gojo Satoru, from time to time, he doesn’t ask about you.

From what he knows, you stayed back in Jujutsu Tech and became a teacher, but that is all he knows about you. He was too scared, too embarrassed to face you once more - because he knows better then to dream. Dream that the promise you promised to keep as teens was going to hold up now that the both of you were in your late twenties.

But there is no harm in dreaming, right?

Nanami checked his watch as he got off the train, making his way towards the bus station located right outside of the building. It was his first time back at the college after being away from it for a few years, since he had called Gojo the other day on asking about if there is an opening for him to return as a sorcerer.

Even though Gojo can be a huge pain in the ass to deal with, Nanami knew that if there was anyone who can confirm a space for him at work, it will be Gojo Satoru.

Walking out of the crowded station, he looked up just in time to see the white haired shaman waiting for him at the entrance; who grinned and waved when he saw his junior. “Nanami! I knew you were not going to be late.” Gojo called out to the man dressed in a fresh grey suit and blue shirt underneath; his spotted tie knotted around his neck. The bespectacled man just sighs tiredly and made his way towards his overly excited senior, scowling when the taller male draped an arm around his shoulders.

He opened his mouth to say something when he noticed the ring that was resting on Gojo’s left ring finger, causing him to raise a curious eyebrow as he allowed the older male to lead him along. “You got married?” He asks the taller male, who glances at his hand before he grins and shakes his head, flexing his hand a little to show off the simple band around his ring finger. “Nah, we just got engaged. We are planning for the wedding though.” He stated simple, to which Nanami glances over at his senior in surprise. “What? Thought that I was too good to be married off?”

“No, I am surprised that you somehow managed to find someone willing to chain themselves down with you.”

“How mean!” Gojo gasps before he shakes his head in amusement, playfully squeezing his junior who just scowls lightly. “For your information, we’ve been dating for the last 4 years. And we have both talked about marriage before, so I wasn’t blindly shooting into the dark when I proposed.” Gojo commented as the two of them made their way towards the taxi stand, where Ijichi greeted his two seniors with a soft bow; all three men getting into the car. “Still surprised they said yes.”

Gojo just pouts and whines at his junior, who just listened to him with his deadpan expression the entire way to the college. He was surprised that Gojo managed to come on time to pick him up, since he had expected for him to be late, and for him to have either taken the bus or hailed a taxi on his own. But he didn’t really mind; he’s used to handling Gojo’s childish personality, and he gets a free ride at the same time. So he doesn’t mind the brief ride with Gojo.

Soon they arrived at the wooded area where the college is located on, getting out of the car once Ijichi stops the car. Quietly Nanami got out of the car and squints his eyes a little at the sunlight that shone down on him, his eyes slowly focusing on the grand temple-like compound that is Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. “Feels weird to be back?”

“A bit.” Nanami admitted to Gojo when he walked from the other side of the car to Nanami’s side, the man just chuckling before he gestures for him made his way through the gates and into the campus, immediately being hit with all the nostalgia of being a student once more. It felt like a light weight was being lifted off his shoulders as he soaks everything in, like the guilt of him leaving his duties as a sorcerer behind has been lifted.

The two men made their way deeper into the college just as someone called out to Gojo from behind, causing both men to pause as they turned to look back. Immediately Nanami felt his heart skip a beat when his eyes finally settled onto you, a warm smile gracing your features as you made your way towards the both of them. Nanami was so stuffed that he didn’t catch the way Gojo grins and opens his arms for you, watching the two of you embrace one another as a sinking feeling when he saw the delighted grin on your face.

The same grin that you used to give him after not seeing you for awhile. 

Somehow Nanami managed to keep up an indifferent façade as you embraced your fiancée, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek in greeting whilst Gojo just nuzzles closer to you; in an attempt to milk all of the attention he can from you. “How needy.” You giggled at him before you turned to the man beside your fiancé with the intension of greeting him; only to freeze up when you realise who it was. “K-Kento?”

“Nice to see you again, Y/N.” Nanami greeted in his usual indifferent tone, trying to hide his heartbroken eyes beneath the shadow of his sunglasses as he tilted his head ever so slightly. “I guess some congratulations are to be said.” He stated simply before he gestures to your left ring finger, where a simple yet beautiful engagement ring rested on your finger. For some reason your heart sank as you awkwardly hid your hand behind your back, causing Gojo to raise an eyebrow as he glances between the both of you.

Was there something going on between the two of you?

“O-Oh, thanks.” You mumble out awkwardly, knowing immediately that Nanami was no longer in his usual indifferent mood. You can feel the slight hurt in his voice, one that causes your heart to break a little; bringing you back to the day you two broke up. How you promised to keep loving him until he was ready to return - yet here you are now, engaged to another man. It wasn’t like you fell out of love with him, you still love Nanami with all your heart, but that love had started to shift the years you two spend apart. And somehow, you started to fall for the white haired shaman known as Gojo Satoru.

But that doesn’t mean you didn’t feel any guilt for how evil you might seem to your ex for stringing him along like that. “I wasn’t expected to see you here.”

“I decided to come back.” Nanami stated simply with a shrug, glancing over at your quiet fiancé who blinks at him owlishly back at him. “Plus, Gojo here told me about a student of his by the name Itadori Yuji that I am supposed to take under my wing.” He continued, giving Gojo the chance to jump in as he smiles down at you, squeezing your shoulders gently. “That’s right! Kento-kun here said he wanted to come back! So his first job is to supervise Yuji-kun.”

“Oh.” You replied in a small tone, unsure of how to answer at all. But luckily Nanami stepped in before the awkward silence can drag on for long, pulling the sleeve of his jacket off his watch to check the time. “I don’t want to get in the way of your free time now, Y/N-san. I am going to go and rest up in my room before dinner is served.” He stated simply before bowing at the both of you, not meeting your eyes. “Excuse me.” 

With that he turned to walk away, forcing himself to not look back at you as he made his way down the familiar hallways towards the dorms; the keys to the room he is to stay at for the time being clutched in his hand after he slipped it into his pocket. What was I thinking? He thought to himself as he continued his way down the empty hallway to the dormitories. Did I really think an amazing woman like that will wait for me? 

He sighed to himself as he shakes his head a little, slipping his polished dress shoes off his feet before putting them on one of the free cubbies built into the wall; grabbing a pair of the guest slippers before he puts them on. “At least she managed to get engaged to Gojo. He’s definitely worthy of her love.” He mutters to himself, reminding himself to be happy that you found happiness. He doesn’t blame you for finding love once more - when he left this life behind, he also left you.

No call, no text, no attempt to reach out. Was he expected you to just fall into his arms once more? Pretend that nothing happened, and to go back to where you two once were? That thought alone caused him to let out a soft snort as he made his way towards the locked room, unlocking it with his keys. “Don’t be foolish, Kento. Be happy that she’s happy.” He mutters to himself as he entered his new room, closing the door behind him with a tired sigh.

“Guess you really were the one that got away.”

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[candychronicles]

carve // k. bakugou

A/N: hello and welcome to my take on the all about bakugou bnharem collab! this is a potential intense read so please heed all warnings! 

this is a continuation of quarantine that i wrote last year for a harem collab. it’s not required to read in order to read this story but feel free to read if you’re interested!

i am so sorry that i solely write for collabs now lol 

CHARACTER PAIRING: bakugou katsuki x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 3,050

WARNINGS: heavy knife play (mentions of blood, wounds, weapons), super intense emotions, oral (f!receiving), good ol fashioned penetration, implications of a lighter skin tone if you squint

SYNOPSIS: your boyfriend suggested to try a new kink over quarantine yet life was beginning to resume some semblance of normalcy with no excitement in sight. what was going on? 

want to enjoy more bakugou? i mean, c’mon, who wouldn’t? 

head on over the the masterlist!

you did not, in fact, try anything risker. bakugou balked at the thought of hurting you once he got over the high he was in, lusting over the fact that you were able to put him in his place so easily, though he would never admit that. he wouldn’t admit a lot of things, in fact, like how he was afraid he was going to slip and cut too deep, how he thought you secretly didn’t trust him, how he wasn’t and never would be good enough. all these thoughts kept running through his head as time went on, as quarantine sunk deeper and deeper into chaos, as he got called back into action much sooner than expected and never really got a chance to spend time with you like he really wanted to.

over a year had passed since the last first and last time he had ever brought the knife up. you had asked him plenty, showing him different blades, trying to get him wound up, but he always pushed the thought away, fucked you into submission, or if you were being particularly relentless, let you fuck him. it kept you at bay for awhile but you both knew that things wouldn’t stay quiet forever.

it was on a normal tuesday evening that you sat him down for a serious chat. he had been gone for awhile, quarantines lifting up left and right, people getting vaccines and life returning to as normal as it could be after what everyone had went through. he was distant, stressed, unsure of life and frustrated with how he was feeling and you could tell. he didn’t, however, know that you were that observant and he was sure that you were going to kick him to the curb. honestly, how could he blame you with the way he was treating you, acting like you were some fragile doll that needed to be kept at arm's length wrapped in bubble wrap your whole life? fearing he would break some sort of trust between you two or worse, snap you in half. it wasn’t until he felt your gentle hand on his own that he realized he’d been consumed in his own thoughts.

“Katsuki, what’s wrong?” you finally asked, not one to beat around the bush.

“nothing’s wrong babe, just tired, you know i’ve been working a lot,” he brushed off, going to stand up.

you didn’t give him the chance though, yanking his hand so that he was pulled forward, slamming into the table.

“don’t. lie. to. me,” you commanded, anger evident on your face, brows furrowed and eyes challenging straight ahead.

he sat down with a sigh, not sure of where to begin or even if he had the strength to say anything to you, but before he could, he heard your voice, unusually meek, ask “was it something i did?”

his hand tightened around your own before he realized he was squeezing harshly, quickly letting go and rubbing his fingers as if he had burned you, which he might as well have with the way you recoiled at his actions.

“Katsuki, please, if there’s something i did, at least tell me. i’m going crazy watching you run away from me without me even knowing what’s going on.”

fists clenching under the table, he huffed, attempting to collect his thoughts once more. he knew now that there was no running from this, no more hiding his feelings or wallowing in his own despair and pity.

“i’m afraid of hurting you. during sex, especially. with the knife kink, ya know?”

you cocked your head at his, eyes squinting as you tried to analyze what he had just said.

“i’m not made of porcelain. i think that, as adults, you and i can have a conversation about boundaries, safety, how to keep in communication and what to properly do during aftercare. it’s really not any different from the conversations we’ve had before in any part of our life, really.”

“but what if i go too far?”

“then i’ll just embarrass you by going to the hospital and telling them that my boyfriend’s monster cock split me in half. m’sure they’ve heard worse,” you teased, reaching out to poke at his forehead that was set in a permanent wrinkle, face scowling at how nonchalantly you were talking about this.

“i’m serious, what if i fuck up and cut too deep or nick an artery or accidentally slip and stab you or you sneeze and stab yourself or-”

“hey, ‘Suki,” relax. it’s why we’ll educate ourselves and take it slow. you’re not putting a knife to my neck after all. we’ll learn and talk together so that we’re both feeling safe and if you still don’t want to do it after then that’s fine! we have a great sex life as is. i don’t need every one of my kinks fulfilled to be happy and satisfied with you.”

despite the insecurities and confusion that settled in his brain like a thick fog, he nodded his head, agreeing to learning and trying this new experience with you. secretly, he was ecstatic, his cock twitching as he thought about carving his name into your body, but the logical part of his brain still wasn’t convinced. 

you two spent the night educating yourself, figuring out what blade you wanted to purchase, how to keep it clean, how to safely take care of wounds, both minor and major, safety do’s and dont’s and going over boundaries and safe words. it was hours later that you both collapsed into bed, thoroughly tired yet satisfied after the conversation and education that had just taken place.

three days later, a nondescript package arrived at your door, simply labeled with the postage and address. you quickly grabbed it and rushed inside, careful to close the door quietly. Bakugou had the day off and spent most of the morning doing paperwork, only now choosing to workout in order to get rid of the boredom that was already seeping into his brain. 

you tore the package open as quietly as possible and shimmied the box tucked inside the package out, careful not to damage anything, popping it open and smiling at the sight inside. a shiny blade stared back at you, hilt a forest green, deep and inviting. you pulled the object out, running your finger along the cool metal, admiring the way it glinted in the harsh kitchen light. 

quickly, you scrambled into the bedroom, eager to see what Bakugou would think but when you peeked your head inside the room, it was dark. you frowned before realizing he had already sat down at his desk, tolling away at the mounds of papers he had to go through. sighing, you gently placed the blade down on the dresser, forgetting about it as the day went on.

it was only when you were in the shower later that evening, ready for bed, that you remembered you didn’t put it away. you hurried to finish, barely throwing a towel on yourself before whipping the door open only to see he had already spotted the object. 

Bakugou was twirling it in his hands, testing the weight, prodding at the tip with his fingers, letting out a sharp hiss when the blade nicked his finger.

without thinking, you stepped forward, taking his hand into your own before slowly lifting it up to your lips, sucking on the wound, the taste of iron and his own sweet flavor hitting the roof of your mouth. you watched him with hooded lids as your towel dropped haphazardly to the floor, body still dripping from the shower.

“princess, you’re playing a dangerous game tonight.”

you only hummed around his finger, stepping closer to him, pressing your wet body to his, shivering at the warmth he radiated. he pulled his hand away from your mouth, choosing instead to cup your chin and bring it closer to him.

“are you sure you want to do this? do you remember everything we learned?”

“i’m sure, Katsuki, i promise. we have our safety words if things get out of hand, yeah? but i’m sure it won’t,” you reassured, blinking up at him with such sincerity it nearly took his breath away.

with the knife tucked firmly in one hand, Bakugou led you to the bed, laying you down gently, propping your head up and settling into your thighs, kissing, biting, sucking.

he took one deep breath, hands trembling, before the coolness of the blade just barely grazed your skin. you took a sharp inhale of breath but before he could ask what was wrong, he heard you beg for him to do it again.

his tongue came out to press flat against your clit and you jolted, his one hand coming down to hold you still and the other using the knife to trace lazy shapes along your thighs, up your pelvis and around your stomach. 

you struggled to maintain your breath, the sharp scratch of the knife as it tickled your skin contrasted with the soft and soothing tongue of Bakugou as he leisurely lapped at your sensitive nub. you begged and pleaded for more friction, white knuckling the sheets as you tried to keep your composure but all he did was sadistically smile and hum, the vibrations driving you crazy. 

he kept up that pace for a while, the blade leaving behind bright pink swirls on your skin, tickling and pinching you at the same time. it was all so exhilarating, knowing that something bad could happen and yet being at the complete mercy of your boyfriend. 

Bakugou, on the other hand, was stalling for time. he wanted so badly to claim you as his own and yet he was still convinced this wasn’t what you wanted. he thought you were faking it or doing it for his own pleasure and yet in this moment, all he wanted to do was please you, make you feel good, make you know that nobody would ever lay a hand on you besides him, that you were and would be his forever. he felt so strongly about you and about you being his that he didn’t even notice he was applying more pressure to the blade until you let out a gasp.

immediately he sat up, blade dropping clumsily to the bed as he examined your hips, realizing he had nicked the thin skin on your pelvic bone. he stared blankly at the red welt, a pinprick of blood seeping out of the cut. numbly, he looked up at you, ashamed he had hurt you. before he had a chance to open his mouth and apologize, however, you surged forward, crashing your lips against his own, teeth gnashing. he was sure he tasted blood but the way you were kissing him, he didn’t think he could stop even if he wanted to.

“Katsuki, i need more, please. i need you, all of you, need your name carved into my body, need to know that i’m the only one for you.”

he paused, hands coming to gently push you away, looking into your eyes to see what kind of game you were playing but all he saw was that same sincerity and desire as always.

“i just hurt you know. what if i go too far?”

you grabbed his face fervently, squishing his cheeks with your hands. 

“I trust you with my life. I always have and I always will. I am yours as you are mine. I want, no I need, this from you. Please.”

his heart practically squeezed in his chest, an unusual lump forming in his throat as he stared at you, at the way the tears pooled at your lashes, how you looked at him like he was the sun, how your warm breath caressed his face and your soft hands held him so tenderly. it was in that moment that he finally realized how much you loved him, trusted him, needed him as much as he needed you.

no words were spoken as he wiped away the tears from your cheeks, laying you back down gently on the mattress, knife picked up firmly in his hand as he splayed his other across your stomach, stretching and pulling at the skin to make it taut. he didn’t even think before he put the blade to your skin and began carving the first line in the K.

the first cut stung, a slow, agonizing pain as he sliced straight up and down, pinpricks of blood following in the wake of his actions. he looked up at you, making sure you were okay, but you were already placing your hand on the blade, urging him to continue.

the next few lines continued to sting but with it came an utmost sense of security and pride. he was carving you, embellishing his name into your body, carving you, marking you, molding you to become a piece of his own flesh. you were his canvas, his artwork, the beauty that was brighter than the stars. he was the sun, hot, fiery, full of temper and you were his moon, patient, calm, full of emotion. together, you two worked in tandem, balancing each other out, keeping each other in line, never able to fully connect but never being able to stay away from one another. but today, on this glorious evening, the sun and the moon meet, an eclipse in the night, destined to become one, and as the blade finished slicing you, the final stroke, the “I” to end it all, your souls merged.

Bakugou stared back at his own name, his first name, carved along your skin, rivulets of red pooling along your skin, eager to be released from their confines. his hand came to gently wipe away your skin, wincing as you hissed.

“let me get you cleaned up.”

he tried to get up, he really did, but when you reached for him, your voice wanton, begging him to fuck you, pleading, saying that you needed him now more than ever, he sunk back down onto the bed, his shirt flinging over his head, clothes kicked off to the side. gingerly, he climbed on top of you, not even getting a chance to adjust or make sure you were okay before you were trapping him in your legs, pulling your bodies practically flush, his cock sitting heavily against your aching cunt.

“baby, please, i want you too, so fucking bad, but i need you to tell me you’re okay first, need you to talk to me before we go any further,” he begged, eyes searching your own frantically to make sure you didn’t get lost in the emotions.

“m’okay ‘Suki, promise. just need y’so bad, please.” 

he breathed deeply through his nose, cock twitching painfully, before he situated himself properly between your legs, gently thrusting into you, nearly gasping out as you sucked him in, soaking wet and eager for his touch.

“fuck baby, you’re so wet. been waiting for me to fuck you senseless, hm?”

you only whined out in response, hands curling around his neck to pull him closer to you, sealing him in a kiss and wriggling your hips.

he obliged without question, too consumed in the feeling of you, your scent, the stickiness of the blood, your hands in his hair, everything about you was driving him crazy. you were everything to him and he could feel in the way your body reacted to his touch, the way you cried as he kissed you, how you whispered over and over again how much you loved him, how you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, how you needed him at your happiest and darkest moments in life, how you two would meet in every life and love each other no matter what, he felt it all. so much so that his own tears began falling, soaked in your soft skin, slipping between each kiss, sealing your fate with one another.

his thrust were slow and deliberate, taking his time, savoring every breath that he stole from you, every gasp and moan and cry and prayer as you worshipped him over and over again. your body was on fire, adrenaline making your toes curl and fingers tingle, head dizzy from lack of air but you couldn’t stop, meeting his thrust with your own, legs locked tightly around his torso, hands pulling him impossibly closer, loving the way his body set you on fire. you were drowning in the flames and yet only wanted to sink deeper into heat, consumed by the tranquility it gave you. you were at peace, body alight with pleasure as your chest met his, back curling off the bed as he rocked you through the most intense orgasm you had ever had.

it only took a few moments of your cunt clenching around his cock before he came, thrusts becoming sloppy as he rode you both through your high. breaths were caught, bodies untangling from one another as you came to your senses. after a few minutes, Bakugou gently began stroking your cheek, bringing you back to reality, going through his checklist as he made sure you were okay after what had happened.

after he had gotten you some water and began tending to your wounds, you looked at him, hand coming to gently grip his, stroking the calloused palms of your lover. 

“thank you, Katsuki.”

he looked at you like you had two heads before scoffing, claiming that he only did what you two wanted to do before finishing cleaning you up, going to the bathroom to take his own shower and wash the blood off of himself. you laid there, donned in one of his shirts, taking in your emotions, when the door opened up, Bakugou stepping out dressed in sweatpants, flashing you a rare soft smile as he took in the name carved on your stomach.

“y’know, that’s just the beginning,” he started, coming over to lay down next to you, gently pulling you into his side, kissing the top of your head and watching the way you looked at him, expectant and full of love.

“you’re not going to just have my name carved on you, princess. soon, i’ll give you my last name too.” 

[rambles-on-arcana]

HEADCANON GAME - A TO Z (NSFW)

Featuring non-apprentice OCs ;; Daravin & Zenta, a traveling swordsman and mage that have been working out of Vesuvia.

We were doing this list in Sol’s server, so I now have all these answers. Just compiling them into a singular post.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Daravin will pick up his partner (assuming they're smaller then he is) and carry them to the bath.  They're taking a hot bath together. ((Unless they're on the road, then they're taking a cold river bath alsdkjfasdf)) He needs to be clean to sleep. He appreciates cuddling afterwards because he’s tired and it can be nice, but he's not going to be adamant about it.

Zenta is basically clinical about clean up and caring for them and, if she got involved, herself as well. She is surprisingly snuggly afterwards, though, and will request the other person to stay.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Daravin likes his shoulders a lot. He has no illusion how nice they are, not just in breadth but in the muscles from years of swinging the big ass sword. In partners, he likes hands, stomach, and hips. Especially the hips for grabbing.

Zenta could care less about herself, body is a body. But if she's got a partner with a thing about certain body parts/shapes, she might alter her form for them for a time. On others, she likes their skin. She loves smooth skin and blemished skin and freckles and scars and stretch marks and---- she could go on for hours with praise and attention. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Daravin likes creampie giving. If he's receiving, he'd rather outside for easier cleaning up. He likes making his partner come multiple times before he bothers with himself getting there.

Zenta is intrigued (everyone smells and tastes different) but she couldn't really care which way it goes in the end. Her goal will be to wring as many orgasms out of who she's with as they can humanly take. It is not beyond her for them to have to safe word tap out or black out before she'll give them a break.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Daravin doesn't really do secrets but he is curious about being with someone bigger then he is. Cause he's usually the tallest one in the room. But he's never going to admit that.

Zenta doesn't do secrets in this manner because she's down to try anything to see the outcome.  

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Daravin is like... moderately experienced? He's canoodled more people than both hands together but also he's not like... poking everyone. He has had some flings while on the road but he prefers at least trying to build something at least semi-long term if they’re going to be somewhere for awhile. (No, he's not been stupid enough to try anything with Zenta.)

Zenta has had.... lots.... of time to experience all kinds of stuff.  But she likes learning and playing more. She might come off as inexperienced at first just to kind of... lull them into a false sense of security as she learns their preferences and likes and feels them out. And when she’s learned more about them and learned their boundaries and preferences? Then the gloves are off.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Daravin likes mating press and standing and holding them just with his sheer strength. Also partial to pinning them against the wall in basically any way.

Zenta doesn't give a shit;; she's down for whatever drives her partner up a wall.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Daravin is serious but he is easy to draw into a gentle laugh. Like he has a serious face but he can be lighthearted. This is intimate but it's not that serious. You're bumping uglies, you can't be too serious about it. 

 Zenta is not quite a goof in the normal sense but this is definitely a game for her.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Daravin is neatly trimmed, it's one of the things he's very strict about.  Yes carpet matches the drapes, albeit a little darker in color.

Zenta didn't think to have hair so she's hairless down there a;lkskdjfasdf

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Daravin is secretly a romantic but that doesn't always fit into their lifestyle a;sldkjf He wants to be very gentle and intimate but also? He would like to just get lost in things sometimes and emotions are not involved beyond that horny braincell.

Zenta doesn't understand intimacy as;dkljfasdf if someone read too far into what she's doing and is getting lovey and intimate she may just bluescreen for a moment trying to process what weird ritual they're instigating. ((She was just playing what are you doing stop that.))

  J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Daravin would far rather find a partner for that, he's not really into touching himself so there's not really ever going to be a chance to have someone walk in on him for that.  Depending on who he walks in on, he may lean against the door frame and ask if they want some help.

Zenta doesn't feel urges so she doesn't touch herself.  Would absolutely ask someone if they want help with that if she walks in on them. Like matter of fact, not trying to be smooth like Daravin was.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

They’re both partial to size differences.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Daravin likes having the privacy of a room but also  there's just something about pulling someone into an alcove or alleyway, something kind of public but not really, and pushing them up against a wall for round one. To make the walk back to the room more interesting.

Zenta does not care, it's all basically the same to her tbh this is 100% based on the partner's desire.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Daravin they have to be blatant about "Hey, wanna fucc?" or he'll just write off what's happening. If they’ve been together a lil while?  Show off the tummy/hip area. Make a show of bending down to pick stuff up. etc. Especially if they're doing it in public where he can't just pin them against something and has to wait until the opportune time to carry them off discreetly or they get home and then it's on.

Zenta is another one they have to be direct with about it.  Unless they’re getting horny first and she smells it on them. Then she's gonna fuck with them and tease them until they beg or are direct.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Daravin doesn't want to hurt them.

Zenta doesn't want to leave permanent damage.

Neither one are into like... blood, scat, urine, etc. Basically food is the only thing allowed to be making a mess. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Daravin has rarely been on the receiving end but he's happy to be giving.  Long nimble fingers and a very skilled tongue. He's very good at what he does and it will be one of the ways to wring those multiple orgasms out of them. If they can take his size to the base in their mouth he's gonna fuckin melt he doesn't realize how good it's going to be.

Illia doesn't much care for receiving unless it's how she's riling up her partner. She does like giving, though, because she's controlling what they're feeling.   She's good at it and will use magic to augment what she's doing.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Daravin likes both.  Something quick and rough to start but he is more into endurance and taking things slow and dragging it out.

Zenta doesn't much like quickies, she wants the time to really tear their ass up.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Daravin only likes quickies as the appetizer. That is not about to be the whole show, abso-fucking-lutely not.

Zenta doesn't even want them as an appetizer. They’re putting time aside for her or they're not getting a damn thing.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Daravin isn't much into big risks. He's okay to experiment if his partner wants that, but he's only okay with like. Small risks. Like public stuff. He doesn't want either of you getting hurt.

Zenta is game for basically anything.  Her partner has to be the one with sense to not get them in trouble.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Daravin has a lot of stamina.  He's in his thirties and has decades of training with a sword, honing his physique, and traveling long distances. He only wants one or two rounds from himself but he's going to make them last and his partner is going to be cumming as many times as he can push them to.

Zenta is a monster in the light of this question a;skdjfasdgjf she can go forever.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Daravin doesn't own any and wouldn't bother to keep any because of traveling so much.  But if his partner has one or wants to use one during (either him using it on them or them using it on him) he'll be down for it.

Zenta doesn't own them, doesn't need them.  Her partner is going to be plenty occupied. magic seggs

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Daravin is not much in teasing his partner outside of just a little messing with them in public to get them started so they're in the mood.

Zenta is a huge tease because she loves to fuck with people. It doesn't help her voice can start to drive them mad if she talks too much so she's going to tease them in basically every other way available.  All of them. Constantly. It can be for pushing their buttons until they try to toss her down or while they're doing the do and she's delaying their orgasms.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Daravin is very quiet. He's not super vocal besides some low grunts and growls and the occasional praise.

Zenta is quiet.  It's kind of unnerving if her partner has the mental space to realize it. But she's very focused on making them make lots of noise so they're usually not.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Daravin nothing really comes to mind because he's a pretty straightforward kinda guy.  

Zenta keeps what looks like a necklace in one of her bags.  She may or may not add a jewel for each partner. Good luck seeing it though.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I skipped this one.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Daravin has I guess a moderate one? He'll match his partner but if there's a long time in between he's just eh about it.

Zenta is content with 1-3 times a week (unless there's multiple people, just one person wouldn't survive more than that a;skddjfasdf) but she won't really ache for it or go out of her way too hard for it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Daravin gets into a kind of peaceful calm. He's not sleepy but he's not wired. He's very zen and winding down calm. He'll make sure they're both clean, hydrated, and snuggled up together and then he'll snap out basically immediately because he finally fully relaxed.

Zenta is like bouncing off the walls energetic afterwards because she got all hyped up and had fun. She'll make sure everything's cleaned up and good to go before she snuggles down but the act of snuggling down is like a switch and she fucking dies for the night. Like getting a sugar rush and then a hard crash.

[fandom-blackhole]

Hayloft- Ezra x Reader

AN: hahahahahahah hello.....So I know that have have shit I was supposed to write but life has taken every bit of creativity from me so I’m not sure if I’ll ever actually write those. So I am sorry if you have been waiting forever for me to post a story. I’ve also made the decision to close my requests indefinitely unless I change my mind because I just don’t do well with them, sorry. BUT, I struck gold and got the idea for this fic and before I lost the inspo I wrote like a mad man all yesterday! So I do hope you enjoy! And yes, I did get the idea while listening to Hayloft by Mother Mother

Also this is going to be a two part story, I am currently working on the second part and it should be posted tomorrow morning most likely.  And I made a playlist, if you’d like to listen to it (I am open to song suggestions to be added!)

Ao3 Link

Masterlist

Words: 3.1k (this a beast for me lol)

Warnings?: not really, AFAB reader, mentions of a stroke, Ezra’s charm (that needs a warning), bad poetry formatting (sorry tumblr destroyed how I had it in my Doc)

The itchy scratchy feeling of the hay digging through my nightwear was worth every uncomfortable second if it meant I could continue to sit here and listen to the man across from me, with his eyes that held galaxies and voice the carried the lilt of the most wonderful song, with that unplaceable accent. He was worth being tired in the morning from staying up all night up here in the loft of my family’s small barn. He was worth all the sneaking around and small meaningful glances sent each other’s way when no one else was paying attention, the brushing of hands when handing something to the other. I wouldn’t change anything about this unless it meant the small glances or the gentle brushing against each other didn’t have to be hidden from the others, if it meant that I could just be with the hypnotic man across from me with his hair as dark as the freshly tilled ground at the being of a harvest minus that one soft looking patch as white as a newly hatched chick’s down and a smile so crooked and white that it felt almost as if he was casting a spell over my very heart and soul. He was worth the pain of picking hay from my hair and clothes in the morning when I have to sneak back into the farmhouse, while already missing the touch of his rough and calloused but gentle hand. It was all worth every bit as long as he helped me forget everything just for the time being.

                   ---------------------------------------------------------------

Living on K-5 was rather simple. The planet was neither big nor small and it was known for its fertile soil that could grow just about any plant whether it was native to the world or not and once one harvest season had finished the other started as the weather always was spring-like with perfect growing conditions. Not many came to stay and those who did worked their entire life in planets many fields of harvest. To the few that actually knew the name of the forgettable planet called it the bread box of the known universe. Though the planet was known to very few people throughout space, the planet’s harvests could be found on just about any other planet or moon feeding just about everyone. 

The farmers of K-5 were known to have bigger families on the premise of needing hands to work the land for food of their own and for money. The farmers also knew that most of their children would leave the planet and look for better elsewhere, and would hope beyond hope that at least one of their children would settle on the sad planet and continue working their farm. Though if luck would have it there might come a ship every so often with people willing to lend hands and work the land if they were compensated well enough. Most that came were floaters looking for something to do in between prospecting jobs, others were looking for a quiet place to finally settle after a long life. 

My father had been one of 12 brothers and he was the only one to stay and take over the meager farmer his father and his father’s father had set up on a small corner of the planet. My father never really talked about his siblings, only ever calling them stupid for leaving the haven that was K-5 for a world they had no place to be in. My mother had been brought here by her mother, who had been a floater. They had made acquaintances with a farmer a town or so over and had lived there as farmhands as that family’s children started dwindling as they left. I have been told that my mother had a fire to her that no other on the planet had, that she was a woman of grace and humility, which is rare in space these days, something I was told I inherited though I’m not so sure I believe. We were a small family, I had two older brothers, twins identical in only their looks. Joshua, a dreamer as my father put it spitefully saying he inherited that from our mother, while his brother Anthony took after our father with his pessimistic view of everything including the world outside of our farm and K-5. I always counted Joshua lucky, he was able to sneak out of our small farmhouse late one night only leaving a note on my bedside table saying goodbye as he left one of the few ships to land on our soil. Father always resented me much like he did Joshua for multiple reasons, one of them being that it was the reason mother had passed, as Anthony informed me one night when asked, another reason being that I supposedly looked like a carbon copy of her, as I was told by the few farmers that remembered her, and lastly and most importantly was my fascination with the outside world. He hated that “Joshua did nothing but fill your head with fantasies.” He hated that because of our small family we needed all the farmhands we could get and that I would always sit with them listening to anything they would tell me, though few would say much as the floaters tended to be a quiet breed, preferring to keep to themselves. 

In our town, the floaters and drifters were usually pointed to our farm when looking for work and usually met with my father before I ever had a chance to meet them, most ignoring me throughout their short stay, anyway. If we were lucky we would get one or two by the time harvesting or planting time had come around and they were always roomed in Joshua’s old room, now cramped from shoving multiple cots into the room rather than one small bed. The room was furthest from mine, which made it hard to sneak into to and talk with those who were willing to feed my curiosities. Having been caught and reprimanded enough times by both father and Anthony I had to learn how to be light-footed and sneak around unseen, though I believe that after awhile Anthony has given up on trying to ‘knock some sense’ into me and just doesn’t try anymore. 

Life was the same for me day in and day out nothing much changing other than the faces and names of the floaters staying on our humble farm. Excitement in our corner of space was far and few between, leading me to seek it out through any means possible, and more often than not it was the few books I was able to get my hands on them being rare as they were, were exceptionally hard to find new stories. Though luck would have it, I was able to get my hands on three battered books whose covers were so worn and dirtied over the years that any image or words depicted were hardly seen. Of everything on my solemn planet, these were what kept me sane, even if I had read and reread each dozens of times. Though their covers were faded, the titles were imprinted in my mind. I treasured my well-loved copies of Pride and Prejudice, The Hobbit, and Frankenstein and kept them close to my heart while also hiding them from my father for fear of how he’d react to them. Though I love every book I owned, it was the newest in my collection that meant the most to me, for it was the first thing that brought the man I long for and I together, a rather small but thick copy of a collection of poems and stories written by Edgar Allen Poe. 

                      ---------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up on Saturdays were the only time when I didn’t mind having to roll out of bed and deal with the early hour chill. Saturdays were the days that I got sent to town to collect groceries and odds and ends for the farm from the weekend markets. Father learned early on that I had the same touch as my mother when I came to finding the best bargains and deals, so he began sending me in his stead while he and Anthony ran other errands or helped the current farmhands do morning chores. 

This Saturday wasn’t much different, upon waking and changing into the day’s clothes, I pulled my hair out of my face before stepping out of my room to head to the kitchen to find the list of what was needed on the counter along with the money needed. As usual, I went through my Saturday routine of making a thermos of coffee before pocketing the money and grabbing my bag. I slip my thermos into the side pocket of the bag as I slip the strap over my shoulder, before grabbing the list and scanning the contents as I walked to where my boots were stored next to the door. While glancing through the list, I started to slide my boots on before stopping. In a small section at the bottom were a few items that were reserved only for the few saturdays that the supply ship stopped in our area of the planet, which was very rare if ever. The supply ships were sent to the planet every couple of months with limited supplies and it landed in certain areas to sell what ever cargo it had brought, only to leave when empty. Only the ships usually were emptied after the first two or three stops and this area was usually one of the last stops, making the ships rare and highly sought after in the area. So the fact that our area was finally getting a ship after almost a year and a half without one was a huge deal. A rather large part of me hoped that there would be floaters on the ship willing to be hired out for farm work, especially since the lack of a ship has made my small family have to tend our meager fame with only the three of us because of the lack of farmhands. 

Upon arrival, the town was already bustling with life. Quickening my pace, I went to the center of the town where the new supplies always were held, and upon arriving I made quick work of crossing off everything on the list in hopes of having time to browse for myself. Luck seemed to have shown mercy down on me today as everyone I talked to was fair in prices and after crossing the last item off the long list I still had enough money to buy something for myself and give father change without him being any wiser. Smiling I chatted with a few townspeople and other farmers as I browsed the market, and as I came to the last stall I had yet to look in the market. Having near given up and about to turn from the stall, my eye caught something that had fallen from the makeshift table. Upon picking it up I nearly cried with joy having found what I could only hope to be the next tattered book to add to my collection. Flipping the book over in my hands and flipping through the pages my smile grew as I called the seller over. We haggled the price for a couple of minutes before he accepted my offer with a murmur and taking the money and while turning to begin my journey back to the farm I heard my name being called a couple of stalls over. Looking up, I smiled politely when I noticed it was Mrs.Robertson, taking a deep breath and sighing it back out before making my way slowly over to where she stood.

Mrs.Robertson was a stout woman that had a smile that never seemed to leave her face. She was a lovely woman whose lemon pound cake was well-known amongst the area’s farmers and always had a warm cup of tea and an open ear for whoever walked through her kitchen door, even after her stroke that took all mobility in her left arm. While I have always enjoyed her company, especially as a child when I was longing for a mother figure, recently talking with her always ended with her trying to push her oldest son and I together. Her oldest and youngest sons were the only two of her five children to stay on the planet, and while her youngest had already married and had a couple of children, her oldest didn’t seem to have interest in doing the same, even if she swears that he infatuated with me. Father continuously tells me that he thinks the marriage would be a good idea, even as I tell him it wouldn’t work between the two of us. 

So as I walk over to her and give her a hug in greeting I prepare myself for another attempt at matchmaking. Instead after parting from the one-handed hug, she had given me she motioned over her shoulder to a man who was standing there with a crooked smile that seemed to hold every last bit of charm left in the universe, and Mrs. Robertson, without missing a beat spoke up, “I was just explaining to this lovely newcomer that your father is always looking for new people to help with the farm and was just about to point him in your farm’s direction when I noticed you,” as Mrs.Robertson continued to rattle on I took the chance to glance back to the man behind her, only to find that his woefully dark eyes were still watching me with more mirth than I had seen in years. Looking back to Mrs.Robertson quickly hoping that no redness would grace my cheeks, though I knew it was there anyway. She quickly stepped aside and motioned to me introducing me before the man, if at all possible, smiled wider and stuck out his hand introducing himself as Ezra. As I stuck out my hand to shake his I opened my mouth to give him a polite reply only to be shocked into silence when instead of shaking my offered hand he raised it to his shining smile and graced the back of my hand with a kiss. Now I was absolutely certain that there was red dancing across my cheeks, if not my ears as well. Not able to take returning the gaze the man, I know knew to be Ezra, seemed to be piercing my very soul with I turned to Mrs.Robertson, thanking her and wishing her well before turning to Ezra who was still watching me and giving him a shy smile and tilting my head in a motion as to say ‘follow me’. 

Ezra seemed to be quiet as we walked throughout the town head back towards the farm, though that might have been because the small talk and greetings that were being thrown my way from those from the area that I was friendly with. When we finally broke from the town and the only sound was the dwindling chatter of the market and buzzing of the local wildlife. Though I was startled to a stop from the previous silence by the man as he spoke melodically and seemingly wit purpose, 

“In visions of the dark night I have dreamed of joy departed; But a waking dream of life and light Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day To him whose eyes are cast On things around him, with a ray Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream, that holy dream, While all the world was chiding, Hath cheered me as a lovely beam A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro’ storm and night, So trembled from afar― What could there be more purely bright In Truth’s day-star?”

Having turned to face the man confused, but noticing he was looking towards the sky with a smile, though one smaller than the one he was sporting when you  both had made your introductions with each other, this one seeming more blissful rather than purposefully charming. It was only now though that I noticed the absence of his right arm as his left was moved to his face to shield his eyes from the ever glowing sun. Turning his head back to look at me, his smiled widened again before noticing my slight confusion.

“Sorry flower but I couldn’t help but to notice the collection of stories and poems in your hand there, and thought to quote a poem by our dear morose friend Poe. I find his works to be a tad too depressing for my likes but somethings just stick with your very person,” Ezra drawled before sticking his hand out, “May I?”

Unable to really respond as I was still in slight shock I was only able to nod and pass the book over. Where upon gracing his fingers Ezra was able to skillfully thrumb through the book, mumbling quietly to himself with a smile, “It has been quite sometime since I have been able to visit our friend Poe here or any of my other long dead friends I’m afraid,” he paused for only a moment sticking the tip of his tongue between his lips before giving a small quiet winning cry, “ Ah hah! Here you go, ‘A Dream’ by the one and only Edgar Allan Poe.”

Handing the book back with it open on a specific page and there it was, the poem in which he had just quoted in full. Smiling down at the page, before looking back at him with a somewhat astonished look I dog eared the page before sliding it into the bottom of my bag, “No one else around here really reads anymore. At this point I thought I was the last one in the universe to do so. It….it would be nice to actually talk about reading with someone, though regretfully I just met Poe today so we are not quite as well acquainted as you two seem to be,” looking back up with a smirk and remembering my thermos I grab it out of my bag before lifting it up in offering. “Coffee? Its not quite hot anymore but it is probably still warm.”

With his ever wide smile, Ezra stepped up next to me as I slid my bag back into place and gave a small polite nod, “I would love to do nothing more than share what I am sure is the perfect brew with you, darling flower.”

(If you want to be tagged in part two, let me know in my inbox! Also if enough people are interested I am thinking about opening my inbox to talk and expand on this world I’ve created? Anyways I hope you enjoyed! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are always appreciated!! Much love and Happy 2021!)

(Also if you figured out what I based the planet I created off of please tell me, I’d like to see obvious I made it lol. And if you’d like a hint it’s in the USA)

[gaarasgirlfriend]

helplessly in love - kaminari x reader

in which kaminari finally gathers up the courage to confess to you

god, that smile. it really brightened up his whole day. kaminari found himself sometimes barely listening to you whenever you were excitedly talking about something to just stare at the smile that was painted on your pretty face. that smile of yours always managed to provide him with some temporary amnesia for whatever tribulations he might have faced earlier.

“kaminari! there you are! i’ve been dying to tell you about the new switch game i finally got…” your voice called out to him but he was too far in a stupor to be pulled back into reality.

he looked into your e/c eyes that shone so brightly as you recounted your new game once more to the blonde-haired boy. whenever you gave a small laugh, the crinkles next to pools of e/c appeared, and kaminari felt his heart skip a beat. subconsciously reaching his hand up to his chest in a pathetic hole to calm the organ down, kaminari noticed you faltering in your words as you peered curiously at him.

“kaminari are you okay?” your soft voice asked him. you reached over to place a hand on his shoulder, your eyes slightly furrowed in concern.

“i-i’m fine! continue talking!” he insisted, noticing the way his heartbeat quickened when you placed your hand on his shoulder.

the concern still had not left your eyes, and honestly? it made kaminari happy. knowing that you cared for him. maybe, just maybe, he had a chance with you. but after taking a glance at your beautiful face that seemed to be what he saw in dreams, he decided that that wasn’t possible. a girl like you could never like a guy like him… right?

“class is about to start, you should tell present mic-sensei if you don’t feel well. i don’t want you to get sick kaminari, i care for you!” you said in a carefree manner, not realizing the effect those words had on the lovestruck boy’s heart. he was really whipped for you.

as he watched you take your seat he walked back to his seat which was only a few seats diagonal to yours— giving him a good view of you. in a daze, he sat back down and placed his chin on his palm, thinking.

thinking about what? thinking about you, of course! what else was there to think about? kaminari has been playing with the idea of finally asking you out on a date for a few weeks now. he even talked about it to kirishima, bakugou, and sero!

‘do it! you’ll never know if she returns your feelings if you never try! despite how much you err… ogle at ladies, you’re a great guy kaminari! i’m sure she’ll at least give you a chance! be manly and ask her out’ his redheaded pal had told him.

‘tch, like i care. i have no clue why y/n would say yes to a dumbass like you!’ bakugou said with an eye roll.

‘you guys have been close friends for awhile right? there’s a chance that she likes you back! based from all the movies i’ve seen at least….’ sero sheepishly said while rubbing the back of his neck.

‘could they be right? could she actually like me back?’ his mind raced as he subconsciously glanced over to you. you were soaking up all the words present mic spoke as he continued his lesson. your pencil moved furiously as you focused intently on writing your notes. kaminari gave a small pout, he couldn’t even focus in class because of you! truth be told, he probably wouldn’t retain the information anyways but still! he would like the option of being able to focus on aizawa’s words rather than paying attention to the h/c strand of hair that fell against your cheek as you tilted your head while writing.

‘not fair…’ he thought as he sighed while picking up his pencil, finally writing down notes. he had no idea what to do about you, but he would deal with you another time. he had more pressing matters to attend to. finally tuning into present mic’s babbles, his eyebrows furrowed. what the hell was an adverb?

kaminari soon gave up on the lecture, opting instead to just doodle on his paper, giving you the occasional glance. god, he really was living the life of a teenage boy in a coming-of-age movie. how lame. after adding finishing touches to the house he drew, kaminari felt someone poke his back. kaminari knew better than to turn and talk to kirishima, so he dropped his hand to the bottom of his seat, palm facing up expectantly. once he felt the folded piece of paper in his hand, he slowly unfurled it under his desk. present mic was facing the chalkboard currently, so he was safe.

‘hey bro, are you finally gonna ask y/n out?’

kaminari gave a small sigh before writing down his response and handling the paper back to the boy behind him.

‘i think i might, it’s just so nerve-wracking.’

after hearing kirishima scribble on the paper once more, he felt the familiar tap on his back before he collected the paper.

‘mina told me some second year student was thinking of asking her out on a date! you better hurry bro!’

kaminari’s heart stopped while reading that. you? with another man? that was just too much for kaminari to handle. he had to confess to you before it was too late! before he lost you to some cool, probably super handsome, super funny upperclassman.

as class went on, kaminari worked on his confession, writing some stuff down for kirishima to look over. it honestly wasn’t going too well. kaminari has so much he wanted to tell you, yet he couldn’t. the poor boy’s nerves were skyrocketing so much that he could barely form a proper sentence. he groaned frustratedly as he grabbed his hair. he felt kirishima pat his back in reassurance. class was about to end, and it was almost time for the students to go home. kaminari walked you home almost everyday, not wanting anything bad happening to you.

as the last teacher finally dismissed class, the students all got up and started to pack up their stuff. kaminari was scrambling to finish his confession letter.

‘what about her hair you idiot? how it smells like coconuts? or it seems so soft? no, no, no! don’t talk about her hair, that makes you sound weird!’ he thought.

he heard you walk up to his desk as he rushed to finish his paper. if only he worked this hard on his notes in class, maybe he would actually learn.

“you ready to leave kaminari?” you asked with that pretty smile of yours.

“y-yeah, just give me a minute.” kaminari said before getting his book bag and packing up.

“you still look a bit off, do you want to go see recovery girl before we leave?”

“haha, no i’m fine!” he chuckled unconvincingly, finally slipping his book bag onto his back.

before you made it out the door, kaminari made it there before you, quickly scanning the hallway in search of this mysterious second year that also harbored feelings for you. his eyes fell on a figure that was a bit taller than him, a brunette boy who was also clad in the ua uniform. he radiated a cool vibe and was also not to mention model worthy.

“nope, not today.” kaminari muttered before taking your hand into his and pulling you out of the door, power walking your way out of the school.

“k-kaminari- slow down! why are we running away? are you okay? what’s wrong?” you asked when you finally made it outside, standing beside kaminari as the two of you caught your breaths.

kaminari didn’t answer, he just focused on his breathing as he worked up the courage to confess to you. kirishima and sero’s words echoed in the back of his mind, urging the boy to tell the girl beside him of his feelings.

“kaminari are-”

“i like you. i’ve liked you ever since we talked during lunch on our first day of school! i liked the way you almost choked on your food because you were laughing at one of my dumb jokes! i like the way that your eyes crinkle whenever you smile! i like the way you do that stupidly cute dance of yours whenever you get food! oh god- don’t even get me started on your smile. that beautiful smile of yours… i just- i’ve liked you for a long time! and i’m tired of keeping it in! i won't wait for someone else to sweep you off your feet and be upset because i did nothing about it! y/n l/n, i like you! accept my confession!”

after he finished his speech it went quiet. kaminari could literally hear his heart beat with every passing second. oh god, bakugou was right, there was no way a girl like you would like him. he’d better start looking at other schools to move to. shiketsu was pretty good, right?

“kaminari… you like me?” your voice called out to him, breaking him away from his thought. he flinched at the mention of him liking you before nodding.

“yeah…” he said, twiddling with his fingers a bit as he waited for you to reply once again.

he looked at your face to see your mouth slightly opened in shock, your glittery orbs wide in shock as well. if he weren’t so terrified of rejection right now he would’ve laughed at that adorable look on your face.

“i-i can't believe it! you like me back!”

‘huh? like you back?’

“h-huh? does that mean...?” he trailed off, hopeful.

“yes! kaminari denki, i like you too!” you said, your face breaking out in the biggest grin he’s ever seen.

kaminari froze for a bit, taking a few second to register the words that you had just said. you, the girl of his dreams, liked him back? was this some kind of prank? no, you were too nice to do anything like that to him. kaminari could almost cry, his heart was overflowing with joy and pure happiness.

“y-you mean it? you’re not messing with me?” kaminari said while smiling, holding her shoulders.

the girl laughed while shaking her head, “of course not! i’ve liked you for the longest time! ever since you offered to charge my phone because it was dead! i thought you were really cute and funny!”

oh gosh, you thought he was cute? that’s it. kaminari could die happy now.

“i’m so happy right now y/n, you have no idea. i’ve waited for this moment for so long… this feels like a dream.” kaminari said while looking into your eyes.

you smiled before linking your hands together, “trust me, i know exactly how you feel.”

kirishima grinned as he saw kaminari and you walk out of the schoolyard while holding hands.

“looks like your plan worked bakugou! that note really did push him to confess to y/n! who knew that you were rooting for him…”

“tch stupid, i only got tired of him always talking about how soft her hair looks or dumb shit like that, not because i care for him.” bakugou said while rolling his eyes.

but maybe, just maybe, he did care for his friend who was so helplessly in love with you.

[anonniemousefics]

My Dearest Inej | Chapter Twenty

Chapter Masterlist

Originally posted on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up

Synopsis: A series of letters kept among the personal belongings of Captain Inej Ghafa.

Dear Inej,

Thank you for always being so nice to me even if I didn’t do much to deserve it. Thank you especially for the nice, warm clothes and the good soup. My Aunt Millie makes good soup, too, but it’s not as good as yours. But that’s okay. I think I’m going to like Leflin anyway.  

Thank you for all you’ve done for kids like me. I think there are lots of us who would try harder to do the right thing if there were more people like you.

I hope Mr. Brekker feels better soon.

Love,

Artie  

---------------------------------------------------------------------

(Marked at the top: “Jesper: Please read to Wylan”)

Dear Wylan,

I’ve had some time to think and look back on the events of the last month or so, and I began to feel like something was strangely out of balance. It took awhile to recognize what it was – perhaps someone a little kinder might have realized it sooner. It was this: you have not been given enough credit.  

Don’t let Jesper not read this bit to you. His ego can handle a few minutes on the sidelines. Wylan, I think it might have actually been you who saved my life.  

I’ve heard every angle, and I’ve pieced together the whole scenario. I’ve well-aware that it was a collaborative effort to haul me out of Ketterdam for treatment. But it was you who was stuck with the perhaps insurmountable task of keeping me sane.

(And Ambroos, too. Let’s be honest: he did most of the work.)

So, I thought you should know that I saw it and I won’t forget it. I won’t forget that when I was half-awake and confused and disoriented, it was you who kept reminding me where we were. I won’t forget that when none of my limbs were working quite right, you were the one assuming the unfortunate responsibility of helping me drink. You were the one walking the ward with me. You were the one playing along with endless card tricks. You were the one trying to get me to laugh when the aggravation and the frustration started to swallow me whole.  

You’re a good man, Wylan Van Eck, and an even better friend. One of the best. You have been fearless and determined and self-sacrificing, and for all that and more, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.  

Sincerely,

K. Brekker

(an addition at the bottom)

No. Still too sentimental. DISCARD.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(in the folder marked: “Nina”)

Dear Nina,  

I’m writing you today from outside a little café in Shriftport, and I’m realizing I had the opportunity to give you all of my letters and I FORGOT. Honestly, how are we so bad at this? Of course, we were all a little preoccupied, what with the jailbreak and the escape and the chaos of locating Artie while outrunning Stadwatch, and then gorging ourselves on inordinate amounts of award-winning cake. BUT STILL. I hate to think you might be thinking that I’m not writing you. I am writing you everything.

Now that we are in Shriftport, I’ve paid to have The Wraith dry-docked for maintenance for the next couple of months, and the crew has been given pay and leave to explore Novyi Zem to their hearts’ content. Kaz and I are about to embark on the same; although, we’ve been saying this for about three days now and haven’t made it out of the city limits. There’s just a lot of sleeping and eating to be done first. I think all the excitement finally caught up to us, and, Nina, I am exhausted. And because of that, there’s not been much of a plan formed, but for once, I think that’s okay. And I think Kaz agrees. We know it may be a couple months until all the buzz dies down in Ketterdam and it’s safe to dock again. Not much to do until then.

Right now, we are taking each day as it comes. He is alive and recovering, and that is all that I need for now. We’ve been staying in a little room at an inn that overlooks the port. Whenever I fall asleep, it’s to the sound of the gentle tides and far off seagulls. And Kaz’s heartbeat. I haven’t quite shaken what it was like to count them in the dark and worry that each one could be the last. I suppose, as with all things, that fear will pass with time. (And, if I’ve I started to get too worried, at least he still grinds his teeth.)

So, for now, I’m going to eat my weight in sweet rolls. We’re going to take some long, slow walks through town. I’m going to hold his hand, and I’m going to imagine we have all the time in the world. I’m going to make the most of what we do have.  

As I will with you, darling Nina, when you’re back in Ketterdam again.

All my love,

Inej  

---------------------------------------------------------------

My darling Kaz, treasure of my heart,

Will you still write me letters sometimes? I’m starting to miss them.

Love,

Inej  

-------------------------------------------------------------

My dearest, weirdest Inej,  

I am literally two feet next to you.

- Kaz  

----------------------------------------------------------------

My dearest and nearest Kaz,

But I miss them. You have a way with words on paper that I hold very dear. At least write to me what you’re thinking right now.

Love,

Inej  

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My captain, my queen, my Saint,

Whatever you require. I am yours to command.

I am thinking of Ambroos, and how I wish I could write him a letter. I’m also thinking we ought to find a shadier spot on this beach, unless you’d like to see me fry.  

Signed,

The very pale fellow on your left  

--------------------------------------------------------------------

My dearest pale fellow,

How about now? Are you still thinking of Ambroos now?  

Yours,

Inej

(in Kaz’s handwriting)

No.

(in Inej’s handwriting)

Tell me what you are thinking now.

No. Write it down.

Write it down so I can read it again when this is over.

My dearest Inej,  

So, you require a bit of prose for posterity. You want to remember this day, this moment, and I can’t fault you for that. It’s a nearly perfect one. For you, I will attempt to make it memorable.

What am I thinking right now, you’ve asked? Surprisingly, not much. It’s a welcome reprieve, believe me. At present, I am taken by the sea breeze in your hair. I’m mad for how it spreads out around you when you’re in the sand. I’m thinking about wrapping my fingers in it, maybe tugging it while I kiss you, but I’m also thinking there are quite a few people around, and maybe you wouldn’t like that so much. Maybe later.

I am thinking about what you’ve written here – about wanting something to read when this is over, and I think I haven’t made myself clear. I intend to make this a habit, Inej, as long as you will. Facing down death always does have a way of clarifying things. I know you have the same sense of duty to the sea as I feel toward Ketterdam, but that hardly means this is something we should only do once. Don’t you agree? Isn’t that what you what you wrote to me of, that long night in the warehouse district – a chance to try to rethink the life we’re each leading?

I don’t really know what I’m proposing, if I’m being honest. More, I suppose? That sounds about right. That sounds like me. More of you. More of us. Whatever that looks like. More of me at sea? More of you in Ketterdam? Some complicated combination of both? Logistical nightmares don’t scare me; you should know that by now. If there is a deal to strike here, then I’m open for negotiation.  

Though if we’re really shedding the armor, Inej, I’ll put all my cards on the table. This is all I’ve ever wanted. Just you. Just this.  

So, name your terms. My heart is already yours. It has always been yours.

Kaz  

(in Inej’s handwriting)

Prepare yourself. I’m about to kiss you in front of all these people.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

(accompanying a small bouquet of dried geraniums)

Good morning, Mrs. Brekker,  

I stepped out to hunt down an acceptable breakfast. Don’t get up. I’ll be back with sweet rolls in 10 minutes.

And, for gods' sake, don't get dressed.

Yours,

Kaz

THE END

[wordgirlappreciation]

Wordgirl Fanfic Recommendations Masterlist

Thanks for 250 followers, guys! I appreciate you all very much!

At long last, here it is! A full compilation of my personal favorite Wordgirl fics! All fics are complete and in English. Please don’t forget to reblog and review to support fanfiction writers!

Additionally, this blog will post and promote all fanfiction links submitted to it. 

Wordgirl & Doctor Two Brains 

Title: The Doctor Is In | Author: otempora16 | Words: 23k | Rated K+

Becky Botsford may be an alien, but she's never had any trouble living on Earth - until she's struck with a bizarre disease that no human doctor can cure. Only one person has studied Lexiconians enough to have any hope of saving her. Unfortunately, he's trapped deep within his own mind, under the control of a malevolent mouse...

This is the best Wordgirl fic I’ve ever read. It hits everything I wanted to see from this show--the bond between Wordgirl and Dr. Two Brains, Dr. Two Brains struggling against his own darkest impulses--coupled with fantastic writing and pacing. Everyone is in character while balancing a more sophisticated and darker tone. I’ve read this one at least five times. 

Title: Awake in the Night | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 10k | Rated: K+

Two-Brains is fighting with himself again. The results? He's losing. But how could Steven be coming back from the supposed dead? And how can Wordgirl help him win before the sun rises?

Absolutely heartbreaking fanfic centered around Wordgirl’s relationship with Steven as Dr. Two Brains attempts to stifle him. Steven can only take control at night, and attempts to build a machine to separate himself from Squeaky, only for Two Brains to wake up and stop him every time. It’s brilliantly written, very in-character, and it just might make you feel. 

Title: Much Abides | Author: otempora16 | Words: 3k | Rated K

Before she heads off to her first year of college, Wordgirl has a few loose ends to tie up. Oneshot. Sort-of sequel to "New and Subtle Shades."

Wordgirl’s last conversation with Two-Brains before leaving for college. Sweet and heartbreaking even if it could’ve gone a little deeper. Brief mentions of past Steven. As their last WG fic, it’s a nice send-off. 

Wordgirl/Tobey (or Tobecky)

Title: New and Subtle Shades | Author: otempora16 | Words: 6k | Rated K+

Growing up is hard, and growing up a superhero is harder. But amidst all the stress and struggle of her freshman year of high school, Wordgirl starts to realize that support, friendship, and fun can be found in the most unexpected of places. Oneshot, focusing on an older Wordgirl's relationships with her villains.

Once again, the otempora16′s dialogue is on point. This fic focuses on WG’s relationship with The Butcher, Leslie, Dr. Two Brains, Chuck, and finally Tobey. It’s incredibly sweet and charming, and shows Wordgirl and Tobey in the earliest stages of a relationship in an entirely believable way. Also featuring Dr. Two Brains as an overprotective father figure. 

Title: Green World | Author: otempora16 | Words: 3k | Rated K+

Becky Botsford's superhero duties have run her off her feet lately, and she knows she needs to crack down on schoolwork if she wants to finish junior year strong. But when warm summer breezes are blowing, the carnival is in town, and Tobey McCallister is standing outside her window ... well, some nights are just begging to be seized. 

A fun and delightful fic of Becky and Tobey having a good time. 

Title: From Good to Rotten | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 25k | Rated K+

After the amnesia ray, what if Two-Brains didn't forget everything? What if he was just waiting? Waiting for the perfect moment to get Wordgirl once and for all... 

Dr. Two Brains remembers Wordgirl’s secret identity from a previous episode where it was revealed, and uses a special ray to turn her evil and use her to do his bidding. Highly interesting, and written in the style of the show (with a narrator, defined words, and a similar style of humor). Features the rest of the villains saving Wordgirl from herself and Dr. Two Brains being a bit of a jerk.

Title: Something Hidden | Author: HibiscusAngel15 | Words: 137k | Rated K+

Tobey just can't shake the feeling that Becky is WordGirl, no matter how many times he's been wrong before. The only question is of how to prove it.

Nothing to add. Just a great fic. 

Title: Have You Seen My Robut? | Author: HibiscusAngel15 | Words: 3k | Rated K

Today was just not Tobey McCallister's day. After his latest robotic creation to help the city malfunctions and runs off on him, he's left with no choice but to work together with his nemesis WordGirl to find it. But how can the two even hope to work together, especially when she's a supervillain? An AU one-shot where Tobey and Becky's roles are reversed.

Interesting concept I’d love to see explored more. I’m always a sucker for Wordgirl as a villain, and Tobey as a hero was nice to see. Additionally, Wordgirl is the one with the crush on Tobey in this universe. I thought it stayed true to both characters and was well-written. 

Title: Saving Tobey | Author: Night_N_Gail | Words: 92k | Rated: Gen

“I’m telling you, WordGirl, that kid is a time bomb. You think he’s a menace NOW? Wait until he’s a teenager and his emotions are running wild. Wait until he’s an adult and he’s not afraid of his mother anymore. It won't be pretty, I can promise you that." -:- Post-series

Slowburn relationship with Tobey gradually going over to the good side. First part of a three part series by the same author. I have not read the sequels, so I can’t recommend them, but if you like “Saving Tobey” give them a try.

Dr. Two Brains/Lady Redundant Woman

Title: A Provocloniversary | Author: Unbalanced Enigma | Words: 3k | Rated: K+

A Dr. Two Brains and Lady Redundant Woman fluffy one-shot taking place at a villain convention. It works off the assumption that they've already been an item for awhile, six months to be precise. The doctor wants to celebrate the events, but awkward and silly interruptions ensue. This features a wide variety. Rated K for a little suggestive romancing.

This fic is really cute and well-written. The characterization is spot-on for everyone and has plenty of humor. I especially enjoyed Tobey getting back at Two-Brains for the events of Mousezilla. As someone who did ship Provoclone back in the day, this fic is a definite recommend. 

Dr. Two Brains, Squeaky, and Steven

Title: Descent Into Madness | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 1k | Rated: K+

No one really knew what happened. What he went through during the incident. What happened when Prof. Steven Boxleitner became Dr. Two-Brains?

An interesting exploration of the time between Steven’s “Oh no, this is going to sting” and him running into Becky and TJ. Short but dark and interesting.

Title: A Science Experiment Gone Horribly Wrong | Author: 3LNR | Words: 2k | Rated: K+

This fanfic is a detailed description of Steven's thoughts and feelings before, during, and after his fateful experiment. It includes Two Brains' and Squeaky's viewpoints as well. The day starts out very normally, but gradually becomes more creepy and intense as the story progresses. Rated K+ for somewhat disturbing but non-graphic content.

For a fic I wrote 6 years ago, I think it holds up pretty well. Give it a read if you’re a fan of Two Brains.

Title: When I Don’t Remember You | Author: 3LNR | Words: 3k | Rated K+

Dr. Two Brains goes on a mysterious trip to a place he had almost forgotten.

Another angsty fic I wrote six years ago, where Two Brains briefly reunites with Steven’s parents. It does not go well. Song title is inspired by the song of the same name from the series “Adventure Time”.

Title: Take Care of Them | Author: orphan_account | Words: 1k | Rated: Gen

After a stupid mistake, Two Brains and Steven have a heart to heart while Two Brains dies. (Squeaky dies too)

Sad fic in which Steven gets his freedom at the expense of Dr. Two Brains’ life. Short but memorable enough to earn a spot on the list.

Title: A Late Night Chat | Author: Donotquestionme | Words: 1-3k | Rated: Unknown

“Remember, whatever I say, don’t open this door until morning, got it?” The henchmen shuffled their feet anxiously. They never quite understood what went on behind that heavy, padlocked door, and they weren’t sure they wanted to. All they knew was that, every once in a while, their boss would lock himself in that room and, for the next few hours, muffled shouting could be heard coming from behind the door. Even stranger, sometimes they swore they could hear crying.

This might be the first WG fic I ever read, so it holds a special place in my heart. It was also written by someone with a fantastic ask blog that’s been on hiatus for years now (ask-dr-two-brains) who has a perfect grasp on the character. This fic is about the unanswerable question of whether Steven could bring himself to kill Two Brains if he had the chance to set himself free. I wish this person had written more, but it's fabulous nonetheless. 

[soulofgenocide]

Drink The Kool-Aid

Stealing was the typical reward he got for killing, it was much less effective than just blackmailing people, or making them fear him to their core, but tonight he had a different reward in mind as he hummed happily. He had no idea what that reward might be, but he knew he wanted it, she had offered it up if he was a good boy after all and that had to mean it was at least something somewhat good.

With a bit of a huff he leapt up to grab hold of an apartment window, his threads quickly squirming underneath and unlocking it as he slipped it open and popped inside. He hunted police quite often, the dirty ones being his typical go to considering they usually had money to steal, or have them give to him, but it had been awhile since he went after a ‘good’ cop, though refusing to play ball didn’t just default make you a good person. It was certainly more likely, that an already shitty person would become a crooked cop, but for the most part he hadn’t even bothered to do much digging into his target, there wasn’t a need for unimportant people.

Learning their schedule never took a long time, so the click as the apartments front door was unlocked didn’t surprise him, rather than just make a charge though Richard slipped into a separate room and listened as they entered their home. He silently looked over family photos, most of the officer with his parents he could only assume, and then a couple with what looked like friends, people that were cared about were a bit more difficult to just erase, so flushing him down the toilet might be a less than good idea.

They went to their kitchen almost immediately, tossing their keys into what sounded like a ceramic bowl and opening up the fridge, the sound of a carbonated drink hissing then filling the air as Richard wandered silently over to the front door. A thread slipped inside of it to lock it without making a noise, he then very quickly took a few steps to the side as the officer walked through the hall toward the room that Richard had already noticed had a television in it.

The sound it made as it clicked to life made it a bit easier to slip around, but he was already practically silent so it didn’t matter much, it did make it easy to slip into the kitchen and grab a drink for himself though. He began to hum, cracking open his drink as the television suddenly fell silent, but he walked into the room and leaned against the doorframe before the officer could even go searching.

“Welcome home honey, I see you’ve already got yourself something to drink.”

“Who the hell are you, what are you doing in my home!”

They went to make a move, but Richards threads were already coiling up their legs and very quickly kept them down in the position they had been enjoying their nightly television watching in. A couple quick shouts escaped their mouth, but his threads made sure to quickly cover that too, basically forming a tight scarf to gag them and keep them quiet so the neighbors didn’t get any ideas.

“Should’ve just drank the Kool-Aid, my friend, rather than cause problems for my employer, wait is that too American of a reference, oh well.”

Richard moved to next to the officer, looking them over closely and giving the chance for them to do the same in return, their eyes full of fear were certainly giving him a good scan too.

“I believe your quirk is what, you can harden your hair, quite useless in this situation then isn’t it, hmm? That usually seems to be the case though doesn’t it, people who are quirkless or who have useless quirks become police, people with amazing ones becoming heroes or villains, so I mean you’re just on a different level from me by default. No offense, I am a serial killer after all, though I guess if I steal I’m more of a serial.. theft that also.. ya know what no, I’m a serial killer, fuck the appropriate definition.”

Slowly a thread began to coil around the police officers throat, digging into their flesh as it grew tighter by every passing second, the thread gag slithering away as Richard placed his hands on their cheeks.

“Y-You’re the Hangman.”

“What? Is that what I’m called now? That’s shit, so generic, do I have to carve my name into a skull to get a decent name?”

“P-Please, whoever hired you, tell them I’ll do whatever they want just don’t kill me.”

“I mean I could call her, but no, I’m not even gonna risk my reward, I was told to kill you and that’s what good boys do.”

“You’re going to take a human life just for some reward?”

“I’ve killed for nothing before, so yes, I’m going to kill when an enticing reward is offered to me. Maybe it’ll be something lewd, like handholding, oh I’ll definitely go to hell for something like that.”

“You’re a psychopath!”

“Yes I did tell you I’m a, S-E-R-I-A-L K-I-L-L-E-R, did I not?”

“Go fuck yourself, you’re just some dog, I bet you’re working for the Yakuza, on their leash until they decide you aren’t worth it and kill you too!”

“Silly.”

Richards thread around his neck shot up to the ceiling, pulling the loop tight and lifting the police officer up off the ground, his legs immediately beginning to kick as he tried to move his hands up to his throat. No threads stopped him, there was no point, even as the officers hands found the thread nothing he would be able to do could get him free.

“I’m a good boy, but I’m just doing what interests me, they could send all they’ve got at me and sure I may die, but I’ll certainly drag them to hell with me. It’ll be fun at least, I’ve never been in a little war before, maybe I’ll drag the police in too if it ever comes to that and really up the slaughtering, but well, you won’t be there of course.”

His squirming began to slow, and with a small smile Richard stared into the eyes of the officer which were gazing deeply into his, he remained like that until the last bit of light left him. With a quiet yawn he stretched his arms before severing the thread from his body that was currently acting as a noose for his latest victim, it quickly tied itself off and dangled the body peacefully in the middle of the room. He turned to leave, but then quickly turned back around and grabbed a nearby piece of paper, writing very quickly onto it and tucking it into the police officers front pocket. Making him just disappear would be easy, but it would raise a lot of questions and possibly make things harder for his employer, so simply taking all the blame himself and completely diverting the eyes of the public to him was the easiest route.

His hum returned as he went to leave, thousands of his threads pouring from his body to slither along the ground of the apartment, gathering up every bit of even the tiniest evidence that he had been in the residence tonight. They returned to him only when he was back through the same window he entered with, closing it behind him and slipping back inside his body before he could even take the first step toward home.

The note was a very simple statement, meant for the police that would eventually discover the body, and for the news teams that would eventually cover it as well, it read: “Your name for me is shit, but I’ll take it. -The Hangman”

[sunsetcarnation264]

I apologize that there isn't any pictures for the new year. For some reason, as of late, I just haven't had much motivation to draw. Just write and write and write. So I hope that this will be good enough and that everyone enjoys this.

I might post the other ones up if you guys really enjoyed this one, but for now this might be the only fanfiction. You guys can go read this fanfiction on here or on FFN.

But anyways, I hope you have a great New Year's and everything!

Title: Night Until The New Year Summary: The family stays up until midnight. They have fun as they celebrate the new year. Rating: K Genre: Family/Romance Pairings: HueDew (Huey x Dewey) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the only time of the year that Donald would allow this.

At this time, the kids would be in bed, but it was about to be the first day of the next year. For what the triplets heard, this was gonna be the last time they'd stay up until midnight to see the new year begin.

In the years after, they wouldn’t stay up until then anymore, so they were gonna make the best of tonight. Beakley wasn't a fan of the thought, but since it was only once, she allowed Webby to stay up until then as well.

The time was 10:48 P.M., so it'd be awhile until midnight.

It could fly by in a blink of an eye, though. In that case, it'd depend on what they did whether it made time feel like it was going fast or slow.

Everyone was downstairs, enjoying themselves. They were drinking hot chocolate and music was playing.

The music came from the piano that Scrooge was playing. He hardly ever played it, and he wanted to play it more often, but he thought he'd play it tonight.

Joy filled the room. Chatter could be heard all around, and everyone was having fun speaking to one another. The kids were sitting down on the couch while the adults were by the doorway and the piano.

Della thought it'd be nice to have some candles lit as well. The candles were a light orange color, giving out the scent of apricots and cream.

Huey finished drinking and put the mug down. The hot chocolate was on his lips from drinking it. Dewey saw this and wiped it off with his thumb. He licked whatever hot chocolate he got on his thumb. Huey shivered and shoved his face away.

"Not in front of everyone, Dewey...!" He quietly said through his teeth.

Dewey laughed at his reaction. Webby joined him while Louie only chuckled. Huey crossed his arms, looking away from his brothers and Webby.

He hugged Huey but he didn't hug back. He smiled slightly, though. Della looked at the kids and smiled. From what it looked like, they were having fun.

Dewey suddenly got an idea.

He grabbed Huey's wrist, stood up, and started to dance with him. It confused him and took him by surprise, but after a few seconds he danced along. He didn't bother to stop it. He was getting way into it to stop it, it felt way too fun.

Webby decided to dance with them. She tried to get Louie to join her, but he denied her offer. He felt he wasn't a very good dancer and he didn't want to disappoint her. She wasn't too upset by this, but she tried at least.

Dewey twirled him around. Huey let go of his hand and was getting lost in it. That put a smile on Dewey's face, seeing how much fun he was having.

Louie grinned as he got up and walked to the kitchen. He thought he might as well get some more hot cocoa, figuring he'd stay in the living room for a while. Donald followed him seconds later.

After a few minutes, Huey sat down. He was feeling dizzy, so he decided that was enough dancing for now.

Dewey saw that he was taking a break and walked over to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Dew." Huey reassured. "Just feeling a little dizzy, that's all."

He grabbed his hand and leaned towards Huey as close as he could.

"You wanna go upstairs to rest, Hue?" Dewey whispered.

He moved his head away from his. Huey was hesitant for a second, but he replied with a nod. The eldest triplet stood up and he held his hand a tad bit tighter.

The two went upstairs into their bedroom together. Dewey opened the door and walked in with him. They both sat down in front of the window, staring at the night sky.

Huey rested his head onto Dewey's shoulder. They loosened the grip they had on one another's hands.

The sky looked beautiful along with the stars, which were shining very brightly. Very few clouds were there in the sky. It had been awhile since they looked at the dark sky like this, so it was nice to do so once again. They got to stay up until midnight, too, so they got to enjoy it for a while.

No one could disturb them, either. Alone time was all they wanted right now. As a matter of fact, they didn’t think anyone noticed them walk away.

Dewey kissed his forehead. "It's amazing how we lasted this long." He said happily.

"Yeah." He replied. "And we still have a lot of years to go."

"It felt like only yesterday since you told me how you felt." Dewey said, recalling the day they got together in a relationship.

It was the best day of their lives, they would admit. They wouldn't trade each other for anything in the world.

They looked at each other in the eyes. Huey got lost in those tired, midnight blue eyes of his and Dewey got lost in his auburn eyes in return. Slowly, they leaned forward and closed their eyes. Huey put his free arm on Dewey's shoulder.

They hear the door open and stopped. Huey pushed Dewey away, only to see it was Webby opening the door.

"Oh sorry if I'm disturbing you! I was just wondering where you two were." Webby apologized.

She closed the door and went back downstairs. They didn't have the chance to say anything, but they decided to shrug it off.

Huey and Dewey turned their attention back to each other. They stared at one another for a few seconds.

The eldest grabbed him and kissed him.

Dewey's eyes were wide open, as he was caught by surprise, but he closed his eyes and kissed back. He pulled him closer and he put his hand on his face. They both moaned quietly. Their hearts began to beat faster.

They broke it off and looked out the window once again. Fireworks could be seen outside. They knew those weren't there before, so it must've happened the second they kissed.

Dewey yawned and rested his head on Huey's chest. Without looking away, he caressed his head. His fingers ran through Dewey's hair gently.

Huey looked over to the clock. It said 11:48 P.M. He didn't think it was that late already. Time went by way too quickly.

He looked back at Dewey.

"Dew, you wanna get to bed?" Huey asked quietly.

Dewey nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I can stay up any longer."

"Okay. I'll be back, I'm going to let everyone know we're gonna sleep."

Huey carefully got up and left the room. He walked down the stairs and into the living room. Della was dragging Donald out to dance with her. From the look of it, Donald didn't want to dance at all.

Huey chuckled seeing that.

Webby and Louie were back to talking with each other.

Where Scrooge was, he didn't even know. He then noticed Scrooge come back into the room with hot chocolate in hand. Beakley was nowhere to be seen, though. She was probably cleaning some things.

Huey cleared his throat. "Dewey and I are gonna head to bed. He's not able to stay up anymore. I don't think I'm able to, either."

Della walked over to Huey and hugged him.

"Alright, sleep well, sweetie." She said.

"G'night, lad." Scrooge said.

"Goodnight and I'll see you later, Huey." Donald hugged him as well.

Huey smiled as he walked away and waved. Everyone waved 'good night' while he walked up the stairs. The young duck opened the door to his room and entered.

Dewey was lying down in his bed, waiting for Huey. Smiling, he climbed up the ladder and lied down next to him. He kissed his cheek and wrapped his arm around him.

"Goodnight and happy New Year's, Dew."

"You too, Hue."

[gilbertandanne]

AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 3,626

Cross-posted at ff.net            

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

A/N: Please read the a/n because it might be the reason why this is the last chapter you’ll read.

Ok, so first off (and this will help explain what I did and why I did it), the chapter titles.  I always had a vague idea about what I wanted to do for this fic.  As I began to write it, I wanted to figure out exactly how long it was going to be.  I knew that I wanted it to encompass a long weekend, so I knew it wouldn’t be super long, and I knew I wanted it to have some cool chapter titles to tie back to the overall Vegas vibe.  I thought, at the time, that I wouldn’t be able to do 21 chapters, so instead, I came up with something better.  Every chapter (minus chapter one), corresponds to a playing card nickname.  The chapters have gone from Deuces (a nickname for the 2 card) all the way to the Ace card (Aces high, baby!).  I only cheated slightly with chapter ten.  It was originally called Dime, but I went with a ten higher card nickname (TT) because the name was perfect.  A lot of the chapter titles dictated the course of the fic (an example is the hot tub moment in “The Devil’s Bedpost” or how “Time Travel” was comprised of a flashback).  I wanted to challenge myself to stay in those sort of parameters, and honestly, I think that overall, the fic turned out better than I thought it would. Those nicknames really weaved a lot of the story.

Hopefully you’re still reading this because this is the whole point of me telling you about the chapter titles: I didn’t stop with the Ace card.  There is an epilogue, which will be posted tomorrow (Saturday).  It’s the “joker” card and the name of it is “Wildcard”, and trust me when I say that it’s called that for a reason.  So, if you want this fic to be wrapped up nice and tidy, don’t read the epilogue.  If you want to read the full ending I had envisioned for this story, then definitely read the A/N I’m going add before the epilogue begins.

This is the longest a/n I’ve ever done, but if you’re still reading this, thank you.  Thank you for reading this fic, and for humoring me.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

                                    Chapter Fourteen: Alas

“I don’t know about you guys, but this has definitely been the best night here,” Lucas told the group as they lounged in the living room.  “Just a few drinks.  Some bowling, some pool…just us…all of us.”

“It’s definitely been more low key,” Farkle agreed.  “So, what’s been your favorite part of the trip?”

Lucas briefly glanced at Riley.  She looked like a vision as she was seated next to Maya on the loveseat.  She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that his eyes were on her as she and Maya laughed at whatever they were talking about.  He smiled softly as he looked back at Farkle.  “Are you asking the group or just me?”

“Everyone,” he clarified as he glanced at the girls.  “Because I figured with you and Riley it would be the obvious…you know…finally getting together.”

When Riley heard her name, she turned her attention to the guys’ conversation.  She glanced at Lucas as his eyes fell to the ground.  She couldn’t be certain, but he seemed a little sheepish as he looked away from her.

“You’re whipped already,” Zay teased as he caught the bashful look on his friend’s face.  He had known Lucas for most of his life and had only seen him act like that twice—both times involved one Riley Matthews.  He sipped on his drink as he tried to think about his favorite part of the trip.  “Mine would probably be…watching Farkle drive the golf cart into the lake earlier today.”

Maya and Riley nearly exploded in laughter.  “Wait,” Maya continued to laugh, “What?”

Zay grinned.  “Oh yeah…you guys missed it.  Farkle thought he had it in reverse, but it was actually in drive, so he went right over the edge and into the lake on the 10th hole.”

Riley covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled at her friend’s mishap.  The mental image of Farkle driving a golf cart into a lake was priceless.  “Oh my God,” she began as she wiped tears from her eyes.  “What happened?”

“We managed to fish it out,” Lucas explained.  “Thankfully the cart wasn’t damaged or anything like that.”

“So, who won,” Maya asked as she wrapped her arms around her suddenly cramped stomach.  She wasn’t sure the last time she laughed so hard.

“I’ll give you one guess,” Zay answered sarcastically before he gestured to Lucas.  “He was Mr. Perfect in middle school and high school.  He’s still perfect…even in college.”

“I thought we didn’t keep track of our score,” Lucas told him.

“I lied.  I was keeping track in the off chance that she,” he waved his hand in Riley’s direction, “got you off your game today because of last night.”

“Hey!” Riley crossed her arms over her chest in mock offense.

“You know what I mean,” Zay chuckled as he playfully winked at Riley.  “How was the spa?”

“Good,” Maya answered.  “It was relaxing…for the most part.”

“For the most part,” Farkle asked.

“The girl talk was…intense,” she elaborated.  “Once that was out of the way, we were able to relax some and have a good afternoon, right Riles?”

The brunette nodded.  “Absolutely.”

“What was your favorite part of the trip, Farkle,” Riley asked him.  She knew that the breakup with Smackle still weighed on him, but she hoped that they were able to get his mind on something else, even if only for a little while.  He seemed so uptight when they first arrived, but he had appeared to have relaxed some over the last few days.

“Honestly?”  He smirked.  “I think it was when Zay, Maya, you, and me were dancing last night.”

Riley laughed.  “When I forced you to?”

He nodded.  “Yeah…ever since Isadora…ever since the breakup, I haven’t been…I haven’t really been myself.  Last night, I was able to let go for a little while…it was nice.  It was nice to be able to laugh with you guys.  It helped me to forget about…everything for awhile.”

“We’re always going to be here for you, Farkle,” Maya assured him.

Riley nodded.  “Yeah, no matter what.  You’re stuck with us…all of us.”

He smiled.  “Yeah.  I want you guys to know that you are the best group of friends I could ever ask for.”  Maybe this trip was the first step in the right direction?  He was finally able to let go for a little while and have fun without thinking about her.  He knew that everyone had been patient with him as he dealt with everything, and for that, he was forever grateful.

“So, why don’t we do this then…” Zay stood up as he face the others.  “No matter what happens.  No matter where we go…what we do…every year, the five of us take a trip somewhere.  It doesn’t have to be here or anything too exotic if we don’t want to.  Just a trip somewhere.  That way, no matter where we end up, we’ll still be in each other’s lives.”

“I like that idea,” Maya told him.

“Me too,” Riley smiled.

“So, let’s do it.” Farkle stood up before he slid his hands into the front pockets of his pants.  He turned to Lucas.  “Lucas?”

“Yeah,” he nodded as he stood up.  “I think it’s a good idea.”

“I only have one question.” Maya looked between Riley and Lucas.  “Where is Zay going to sleep tonight?”

Riley slowly turned her head to Lucas.  When their eyes met, their cheeks turned crimson.

“You know, you don’t have to spend the night with me if you don’t want to…or if you want to take it slow,” Lucas told her the moment she came out of the bathroom in a pair of yoga shorts and a tank top.  His heart fluttered at the sight of her.  He briefly wondered if that feeling would ever go away, but as she walked toward him, he realized that his heart had fluttered every single time she entered a room.  He looked down at the bed as he pulled the covers down.  “Or, if you want, I can take the other bed.”  He knew he was rambling.  He never rambled before.  God, what was she doing to him?  “We don’t have to…just because Maya and Zay…” he looked back at her.  He’d gladly turn into a complete buffoon if it meant that she would always look at him the way she was at that very moment.  An amused smile tugged at the corners of her lips while her eyes seemed to sparkle underneath the glow of the lamp on the nightstand.  He sighed.  “We do what we do.”

She couldn’t help but to be slightly amused by his sudden anxiousness.  She had never seen him so flustered before.  She secretly enjoyed the fact that she had set him on edge for once, since he had always managed to make her act the same way.  “Lucas, if I didn’t want to be in here, I wouldn’t be in here.”  As she closed the space between him, her eyes fell to the bed.  “And once we get back to the city, I’m not sure when we will have another chance to…you know…spend the night together.  With finals and then winter break…I’ll be back at my parents’ for a month and you’ll be back with your parents and…” she blushed as she clasped her hands together.  She slowly looked up at him. “I…I want to be with you…even if we’re just sleeping.”

He dropped the sheet as he turned to her.  As nervous as he was a minute ago, a sense of tranquility suddenly washed over him.  That was his Riley.  She had the power to incite a nervousness he had never known in one moment and then immediately calm him the next.  “Well, I think we’ve already been together longer now than the first time we were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

She laughed as she remembered their afternoon long relationship when they were in middle school.  “Hey, it’s a step in the right direction, right?”

“Absolutely.”  He wrapped his arms around her waist as he buried his head in the crook of her neck.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she closed her eyes as they held one another for a moment.  She thought for sure that there would be a lot of awkwardness between them after their earlier encounter, but there wasn’t.  If anything, she felt more comfortable around him, and despite his slight nervousness, he seemed to be more comfortable around her as well.  “I’m glad that everyone seems ok with it.”

“Were you that worried about it?”

When they pulled back from one another, Riley turned away from her boyfriend as she slid underneath the covers of Lucas’s bed.  “A little,” she admitted.

Lucas frowned.  “Why?”

“Because of Farkle…and Smackle.”  She looked up at Lucas as he sat down across from her at the foot of the bed.  “They were together…forever…you know?  A-And now, they aren’t.  Have you even seen her since they broke up?”

He sighed.  “No, I haven’t.”  It wasn’t intentional.  He and Smackle had grown to be pretty close friends over the years.  They even went to the same college, but it was as if she had completely disappeared when Farkle and she broke up.  He tried to text her, but she never answered.   “You?”

“Once.  It was…awkward…horrible.  There was this Farkle sized elephant in the room and Maya and I tried so hard to tiptoe around it, but every single time we opened our mouths, we ended up saying something about Farkle.  We didn’t mean to…we thought that we could make it normal.  We thought that we could be friends with both of them, but…it was so…awkward.  Maya and I tried to remain impartial throughout everything, but she broke up with him.  She…she broke his heart and as much as we wanted to stay out of it, we also wanted to protect him.  I think…I think Smackle knew that.”  She paused as she thought back to that horrible afternoon at her mother’s bakery.  “We weren’t mean or anything…and Maya and I thought that…well, I don’t know what we thought.”  She looked down at her hands, which rested in her lap.  “We haven’t…we haven’t hung out…or even spoken since then…and…I don’t want that to happen with us, Lucas.”  She cut her eyes up to him.  “If something happens…if this…if this ends, I don’t want our group to be even more fractured.”  She took a deep breath.  “It’s one reason why I…why I never told you how I felt.”

“Riley…I know that…that this changes everything, but I also know that whatever we have…it’s different than what they had.”  He looked down as he reached for her hand.  “They know that.  They want us to be happy…I think Farkle especially.  He knows that our relationship wasn’t his relationship.  We’ve been friends for a really long time now.  We know what we’re walking into.”

Riley glanced at their joined hands before she looked back up at him.  “Lucas, we were never just friends.”

He ran his thumb over her knuckles as he lowered his eyes to their hands.  “You know…my favorite thing in this world is when you talk to me.”

She furrowed her eyebrows.  “It is?”

He nodded as he looked up at her.  “I hated it when we drifted apart.  It felt like…it felt like part of me was missing.  It felt like the best part of me was missing.  Riley, I know that I loved you before I even really knew what love was.  When you pulled back from me after that party…and I heard you and Maya talking…I think that’s when I realized what love…what losing it really meant.  I don’t…I don’t want to feel like that again.  I don’t want to be incomplete.  I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.  I don’t know where life is going to take us, but I do know that I’m willing to fight everything…fate, time, misunderstanding…just…everything…in order to be with you.”  He took a deep breath.  “I’d do anything for you.”  He glanced down at their hands once more.  “We’re different than Farkle and Smackle…and any other couple we know…because every relationship is different.  This…you and me…I’ve been waiting a lifetime for it.  Now that we’re…starting to explore that…I’m not going to be able to let go that easily.  At the end of it all, I need you, Riley.  It’s that simple and it’s that complicated…not to mention the fact that it’s also that scary.”

Riley swallowed.  “I know that I’ve been running away from this…not just the last few days, but ever since Tombstone and Texas.  I…I feel the same way.  I know that I can’t lose you from my life…so I thought it was safer to hide…even after you and Maya broke up.  I know I pulled away…and I need you to know that…it killed me.  I hated leaving places when you were just showing up.  I hated cancelling plans all together because I knew you were going to be there.  I wanted to see you.  I needed to see you…but knowing that scared me even more.”  She gripped his hand.  “I’ve been able to keep you away because…because I told myself that you didn’t see me like that, but…after that night in the hot tub…after we kissed…I knew…my heart knew that I…I couldn’t run away anymore.  This…instinct that I have to protect my friendships tried to fight it.  I tried to push you away, but…I can’t do it anymore.  I don’t want to do it anymore.  I want to be with you.  I need to be with you.  You’re right…it’s the scariest thing in the world to need another person, but I…I love you.  I’m in love with you…and now that I’ve had a taste of everything I’ve been running away from…I know that I’m willing to fight for it too.  Anything…everything that comes our way.”  She ran her free hand through his hair.  “We really stink at this taking it slow kind of thing.”

He smiled.  “Yeah…but if you think about it…we’ve waited seven years for this.  For some people, that’s taking it painfully slow.”

She considered it for a moment.  “You make a good point.”  She smirked.  “You know…I wonder what my dad is going to say about all of this.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to be losing a lot more shoes,” he laughed.  “At least over winter break anyway.”

“Oh, you think you’re going to sneak into my room without him knowing it?”

He smirked as he leaned in closer to her.  “I’m going to try.”

Riley smiled against his lips as he kissed her.  This felt right.  More than right.  Her hand slid to his neck as she opened her lips against his.  He was rapidly becoming an addiction.

The phone in Lucas’s room blared promptly at 8:00am.  He groaned as he rolled over and picked up the phone.  “Thank you,” he mumbled before he put the hung up the device.  As he rolled back over, he took a moment to look at the angel who slept next to him.  So, yesterday wasn’t a dream?  They were actually a couple now?  He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her once more.  Last night had easily been the best night of sleep he had in ages.  Being able to hold Riley in his arms was more than a dream come true for him.

“What was that,” she murmured half asleep.  

“Wake up call,” he answered softly as he kissed her bare shoulder.  He reveled in the feeling of his skin pressed against hers.  He could easily get used to waking up like this every morning.

“What time is it,” she mumbled as she pressed herself against him even more.  The feeling of his skin next to hers felt nothing short of electric.  Couldn’t they have this every morning?  She frowned slightly as she slowly opened her eyes.  No, they couldn’t.  They had to get back to reality today, and that meant spending the night in their separate beds.  Besides, if this was going to work, they couldn’t go 0 to 100 right away.  She wanted to enjoy every single moment of their ‘honeymoon’ period.

He planted another kiss to the back of her neck.  “8am.”

She slowly turned her head toward him.  A lazy smile danced across her features.  “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” he smiled.

“It definitely is,” she softly whispered before she pressed her lips to his.  She sighed as she turned her body to face him.  “How long do you think we have until Zay demands to come in and get this stuff?”

“Don’t worry,” he smiled as he ran his fingers down the length of her arm.  “I packed it all up after you fell asleep last night.  It’s already in the living room.”

Riley chuckled.  “Poor Zay.”  She never wanted to kick the guy out of his own room, but the temptation to have one full night with Lucas was too appealing to turn down.

“Poor Zay nothing,” Lucas insisted before he kissed her again.  “I wasn’t about to let anyone disturb you.”

Her teeth lightly scraped her bottom lip as she looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.  “You know…you are always free to disturb me…if you want.”

“You aren’t tired of me yet?”

She smiled as she swung one leg over his hip as she straddled him.  “No,” she answered as she leaned down to kiss him.  “We’re just getting started.”

Lucas smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Riley’s furrowed her eyebrows as she flipped through the movie selection.  She bit her bottom lip when she reached the movie she wanted to watch on their flight to Las Vegas—the movie that she had to stop watching so she could pretend to fall asleep all because she was petrified of sitting next to Lucas.  Was that only four days ago?  She tapped her fingers against the screen as she, once again, debated the selection.

Lucas smiled from his seat behind her.  It was definitely déjà vu, but only this time, he felt a lot more confident as he leaned forward.  “Are you ok?”

“Hmm?”  She turned her head toward him as a half smile slowly formed on her lips.  “Yeah, I’m ok.”

He gestured to her screen.  “I heard that’s a good movie.”

Riley looked back at the screen as she softly chuckled.  “Yeah…yeah.  I’ve heard a lot of good things about it.”

“Do you want to watch it together?  He glanced at Zay.  “I’m sure Zay will switch seats with you…or if you want to sit by the window, I can move to the aisle?”

She slowly turned back to him.  “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

He looked down as he lightly laughed.  “Yeah, we have.  I’m just hoping that…”

“What?”  She could practically hear her heartbeat in her ears as she waited for him to answer.

“That your answer will be different this time.”

Riley glanced at the blonde who slept next to her.  She knew that once they got out of the airport, they would go their separate ways in order to study for finals.  That meant that it would easily be a week before she could see him again.  “I’d love to.”

Lucas couldn’t hide the grin on his face as he watched Riley get up from her seat.  He nudged Zay, who had been completely oblivious to the entire conversation as he had his headphones plugged in and the volume turned up.  “Zay,” he called out as he nudged him a second time.

Zay glared at his friend.  “What,” he asked as he slid his headphones down.

“Can you switch seats with Riley?”

Zay glanced at Riley as she attempted to climb over a practically comatose Maya.  He slowly looked back at his friend.  “Ahhh, I got ya,” he nodded.  “So, is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

Lucas frowned.  “What are you talking about?”

“You two are going to be going out on dates and holding hands and all scared to death.  You’re not going to think anything at all about ditching one of your best friends.”

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows.  “I’m not ditching y--”

“Oh, you abandoned me for her,” he gestured to Riley.

“Zay, you know I’m not abandoning you.”

Zay’s look of complete and utter betrayal quickly morphed into laughter as he stood up.  “Nah, I’m just kidding, man.”  He slapped Lucas on the back before he looked at Riley.  “I’m really happy for you guys.”

Riley smiled as she slid into Zay’s seat.  “Thank you, Zay.”

Lucas looked up at his best friend.  “Thanks, Zay.”

“Just remember this when you name your firstborn, ok?”

Riley and Lucas laughed as they watched him climb over a completely oblivious Maya.  As Riley turned to Lucas, their eyes met. Their laughter slowly faded as they both considered Zay’s last statement.  Could that be something in the future, perhaps?  Kids?  Maybe one day?  Riley laughed nervously as she turned to the screen in front of her.  “So, are you ready to watch this movie again?”

“Well, to be honest, I wasn’t really paying attention to it the first time.”

She frowned.  “Really?”

He nodded.  “Yeah.  You see, I really wanted to watch it with this girl…but she kinda brushed me off.”  He lifted his arm in a silent invitation for Riley to snuggle next to him.

Riley smiled as she curled up next to him.  “Well, it was her loss.”

“Nah,” he decided as he handed her the left ear bud.  “The timing wasn’t right.”

She looked up at him.  “And now?”

He slid the right ear bud into his ear before he looked back at her.  “It’s perfect.”

[kdinthecity]

Unexpected

OK, I did not expect this one to come out so angsty! This is for Day 7: Unexpected Visits, and it’s super sad! I’m just warning you. I promise I will follow with Day 8: Spice where Katara visits a sex shop... ooh fun!

I’m actually writing this one in another author’s universe. So, if you don’t like mine, go read hers because it’s way better. So @until-my-last, I hope this is worthy of your awesome Zutara fic, Time Heals Wounds.

Did I warn you that it’s sad? Also, it’s Kataang. I know! So sad! And no cheating, only bonding between Katara and Zuko. Like serious bonding. Oh, and Ume is Zuko’s wife, an OC from Time Heals Wounds.

There were lots of things about turning thirty-five that Katara hadn’t expected.

 First, the recovery after her last pregnancy. It had been hard. Harder than she expected. Harder than the other two. It took much longer for her to feel normal again. And she was unexpectedly relieved when Tenzin weaned. Like this whole baby thing was just so taxing on her—physically and emotionally—and she would be juuuuuuust fine to be done with it.

 But she knew Aang would want more.

 She didn’t expect to get pregnant again so soon, though.

 Her hormones were such a mess, but she really did want to hit him when he said, “That’s great news, Katara! Another chance for an airbender!” It didn’t help that he said it in front of Bumi. Who by now had passed the age where bending ability was typically revealed—or not.

 Tenzin had been such a fitful baby that she was almost certain he’d turn out to be an airbender. The same week she found out she was pregnant, he learned to walk—no, wander. Her little nomad child, she’d come to think of him. Except that she was so very tired in these early stages of pregnancy that she didn’t want to chase a toddler. Surely this had been easier with Bumi and Kya, hadn’t it?

 It was also the same week that Aang was called away to weeklong peace proceedings in Ba Sing Se. The Earth Kingdom was worse than the Fire Nation at maintaining the peace, she decided. They always needed Aang’s help. Then again, King Kuei was no Fire Lord Zuko. And Zuko would probably not ask for help even if he needed it.

 But then her dear friend did ask for help—when she least expected it. And he was there to offer help—when she unexpectedly needed it.

Aang’s one-week trip turned into three weeks which wasn’t altogether unexpected. She would’ve graciously accepted this as typical Avatar duty, if only she hadn’t been so tired—and hot. Did she have these hot flashes last time? It wasn’t even summer, yet. At some point, bending away her own sweat wasn’t worth the energy or the effort.

 Thankfully an air acolyte took a break from her ceaseless praying to lend a hand with the kids. Katara knew she would never have that kind of devotion. Aang probably deserved someone who did. And someone who didn’t resent the idea of having another baby.

 Surely these thoughts were just the hormones talking. She loved her children. And she loved this new life inside her just the same. Didn’t she?

 “Uncle used to say that if you frown too much, your face will stick that way.”

 Katara nearly fainted. But not from hormones. From the sound of his voice.

 “Zuko! What are you doing here?”

 “Well, I realized that I’ve never met Tenzin. So it’s been over a year. And Izumi wanted to see Bumi and Kya. It’s dreadfully boring at the palace.” His tone was uncharacteristically upbeat. The crease in his brow gave him away.

 “No siblings, yet?” It was a personal question that she disliked when people asked her. Especially since she heard no airbenders, yet, instead. But this was Zuko, her best friend. Surely he wouldn’t take it personally.

 Except that unexpectedly, he did, thus confirming her suspicions. “Ahhh, no—um…”

 “Zuko, what is it? Is Ume OK?”

 “She’s uhh—well, we’ve tried, of course. But I think something’s wrong. Not with that. I don’t care about that. She’s just tired all the time. And short of breath. Do you think you could…?”

 “Of course, Zuko. I’d be glad to take a look. Is she here?”

 “No. She didn’t feel up to the journey. I—of course, we have plenty of room for your family at the palace. Come whenever is convenient. Stay as long as you like.”

 “Aang is in Ba Sing Se right now, but when he gets back…”

 A flurry of activity interrupted their conversation. Bumi practically tackled Zuko with a laughing Kya trailing him. Ten-year-old Izumi then appeared with a drooly Tenzin perched on her hip. Katara marveled at how much the young firebender had grown, her childlike features fading into a womanly beauty. There were definite traces of Zuko in her appearance, but glimpses of Ume, too.

 “I heard you’ve been training with the sword, Master Bumi.” Zuko ruffled the seven-year-old’s crazy crop of hair.

 “Yes sir, but I’m hardly a master. I sometimes train with Uncle Sokka… when he’s not busy.”

 “Hmm, you need a master, don’t you?” Zuko’s eyes flickered to Katara, but she didn’t have a good answer to his unspoken question. She taught Kya waterbending, but it was true that Bumi’s own training had been neglected.

 “Yes sir.” The disappointment in the child’s voice was answer enough, though.

 “Tell me, Bumi, have you ever fought with two swords?” Zuko redirected.

 The boy’s chin lifted, and his eyes sparkled. “Like at the same time? That’s impossible!”

 “Well, you have two hands, don’t you?”

 Katara fought the urge to say that her son might not have two hands after swordfighting lessons with Zuko. She could tell, though, by the way his eyes lit up and how Izumi rolled hers that he didn’t get to do this often, if ever.

 So Zuko went off with Bumi, Izumi and Kya practiced their bending moves together, and Katara put Tenzin down for a nap. Suddenly it was very quiet, and she had time for herself. It was most unexpected, and she honestly didn’t know what to do with herself. She decided to prepare the guest room for their unexpected visitors in hopes that they would stay awhile.

 Later that evening, a giddy, sweaty Zuko shooed her out of the kitchen and offered to make dinner. It was such an unusual gesture. Aang never made dinner. She didn’t even expect Zuko to know how to cook. He was royalty, after all. The bigger surprise, though, was that he cooked them meat. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed it—how much it reminded her of home. She didn’t dare ask where it came from, although Bumi answered soon enough.

 “Mom, Fire Lord Zuko took me hunting!”

 “Oh, he did, did he?” She shot her friend a look of warning. It was one thing to teach Bumi the swords, but hunting encroached on their family values.

 Zuko just shrugged. “It wasn’t really hunting. The animal was already hurt, so we kinda… put it out of its misery? I’m a terrible hunter anyway. I couldn’t hit a moving target if I tried.”

 Somehow Katara doubted that. She was about to expound on her reprimand, but Izumi spoke first.

 “Ew, Dad. Can we not talk about our food like that?” She made a fake choking sound. “I think I’m going to become a vegetarian.”

 “Cool. Can we trade families then? Because I want to eat meat everyday!” Bumi popped another bite into his mouth, beaming proudly as he did.

 It was a most unfortunate time for “morning” sickness to hit. Katara quickly excused herself from the table. She didn’t expect Zuko to follow her.

 “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—“ He held back her hair. He actually held back her hair. She held back her tears.

 After she had recovered, both from the retching and repressing, he continued in a calm and soothing voice, “I didn’t mean to make you sick. I didn’t think… of course, if you never eat meat—“

 “No, Zuko, it’s not your fault. I-I’m pregnant.”

 “Oh.”

 She couldn’t read his expression much like she could read her own emotions in that moment, either. She wondered why he had to be so nice, so helpful, so… perfect. Scarred, yet flawless.

 That was ridiculous, though. Nobody was perfect. The only reason people would overlook each other’s imperfections was if love had made them blind.

 Suddenly, Katara saw the situation all too clearly.

 “I’m tired. I’m going to bed. You and Izumi are welcome to stay, of course. Just make yourself at home.”

 “I’d prefer not to travel at night if that’s alright. We’ll head back first thing in the morning. I appreciate your hospitality.”

 His tone was so formal and his expression so stiff, it was like she was talking to the Fire Lord and not a dear friend. Had he also noticed the shift that had occurred between them, albeit subtle? She couldn’t very well sort through these muddled thoughts and emotions, not in her current state. Perhaps it would be best if she slept through his departure the next day.

 Little did she know what darkness lie ahead in the night and what new light would be cast on their relationship by morning.

 She expected to drift right to sleep, but a slight cramping sensation kept her awake. She blamed it on the meat… at first. Then the pain intensified. Then there was blood. Then water—her hands coated in it, glowing, healing. Then stillness. Then screaming.

 She almost felt like she was outside of herself watching the scene unfold. This couldn’t be happening. No. This wasn’t happening.

 She must have fallen asleep at some point because she woke up the next morning in his arms. She remembered what had happened, but she didn’t remember him.

 “Zuko, wha—“

 “Shhhhhh. It’s OK.”

 Her throat felt raw, so she knew she had been crying—a lot. Still, she managed, “I k-k-killed my baby.”

 Zuko tightened his grip on her shoulders. “What!? Of course you didn’t! These things… just happen. It’s nobody’s fault. You even tried to save your baby. I saw your healing water.”

 She sighed deeply and buried her face in his chest. “But I d-d-didn’t want to be pregnant again. Not so soon. Not when Aang—“ She couldn’t finish. It sounded too selfish to say out loud. But the pressure had become so overwhelming. She couldn’t promise airbending heirs to her Avatar husband no matter how much she wanted to—no matter how hard she tried. She felt like a failure of a wife—and a mother.

 She saw Zuko’s jaw clinch, and she knew what he must be thinking. She didn’t want to portray Aang in a bad light. It certainly wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t even here.

 That’s right. He wasn’t here.

 But Zuko was.

 She nestled deeper into his warmth, his comfort. It was what she needed, and she admitted to herself that she needed it from him. Somehow she knew that Aang would grieve the loss of their child, the chance at another airbender. He would grieve for her. But Zuko—he would grieve with her.

 I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common. It seemed like only yesterday that he’d spoken those words in a cave full of glowing green crystals.

 “It gets easier,” Zuko said suddenly.

 “What?” His words shook her from her reverie.

 “S-s-sorry. That’s not very comforting, I know. I shouldn’t have—“

 “Ume,” she whispered before she realized the name had escaped her lips. The same thing must’ve happened to her—to them. Guilt overtook her. She shouldn’t be here clinging to Zuko when he had a sick wife back at home. She quickly released him and moved away from the bed.

 “Katara, I’m sorry if I did something wrong, I—“ There was pain in his voice and sadness in his eyes, like he was still very much the boy in the cave. But he wasn’t, and they had come so far since then. They were closer than she’d ever expected to become with someone from the Fire Nation, a former enemy, the Fire Lord, even.

 “No, Zuko, it’s fine. You’re… I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve been… perfect.”

 She reached out to take his hand and gave it a small squeeze. Her gaze then drifted to the stained bedsheets, and her vision blurred with tears. A warm hand cupped her face, and a calloused thumb swiped across her wet cheek. His touch felt nice, but as she leaned into it, confusion and clarity struck her once again.

 “Zuko, why are you here?”

 “Because I heard you screaming in the night.”

 “No, I mean, why are you here?”

 “Oh. I came to ask you for help.”

 Yes, of course. She sighed and pulled away.

 “And because I wanted to see you.”

 His statement and his smile were so genuine that her tears flowed freely now. There was something so painfully beautiful about this moment they shared together. She would never want to relive it, but she would cherish it all the same. She shuddered at the calm comfort of his next words.

 “Hey. You go get yourself cleaned up. I’ll take care of cleaning up in here. OK? Then, you get some rest, and I’ll get some breakfast ready for when the kids wake up.”

 Yet again, unexpectedly perfect. Or perhaps perfectly unexpected?

 With Zuko, it was always a little unclear.

[lodelss]

Dear Reader,

I’ve been trying to think of what books this corona moment reminds me of. I don’t know why — uh, I guess I instinctively try to relate most things that happen in my real life to my reading life? What’s unsettling though is that — and this is something I’ve seen others saying already — this moment doesn’t really remind me of anything I’ve ever read. I started reading David K. Randall’s Black Death at the Golden Gate — a book about how a bubonic plague epidemic threatened to sweep through America in 1900 — a few months ago, but I didn’t get very far into it, and then I put my copy in a holiday gift box for my mom in Ohio. She read it last week while she was sick in bed with pneumonia. I don’t know what kind of pneumonia. (She didn’t get tested for flu; too expensive.) I don’t know if it was corona. I don’t even know how to know. There are, as you have heard, no tests.

And that’s what makes this coronavirus moment different from the little bit of Black Death at the Golden Gate that I read, and from the portions my mom described over the phone while she coughed and coughed and coughed. In that book, some American government officials and scientists heroically stop the plague from spreading. Which means the story being told in that book is more like the one in Singapore or South Korea today: the triumph of science.

So what’s the story here? What does the failure of science feel like? I listened to the latest TrueAnon podcast while I made dinner last night, and, as I recall, Liz Franczak described a sort of sensation she’s been having (out there in San Francisco) that there are visible particles of fear floating in the air. My boyfriend has reported something similar every time he’s come home from work for the past three days, after his 45 minute trek across Brooklyn — there’s something wrong out there, it looks weird. There’s something wrong with the air. (He works retail. There has been something wrong with his air.)

I have not been outside in over a week. I don’t know what it is he’s describing. (But whatever it is, there is a very good chance he has brought it in here with him. In his air.)

I thought of and dismissed a few other books that this moment might be like. For awhile — a few days ago? — coronavirus was a looming, impending crisis that I knew would lead to ruin and death, but which many people around me seemed oblivious to. That brought to mind books written in Germany in the 1930s, like Hans Fallada’s Little Man, What Now? or Christopher Isherwood’s Goodbye to Berlin — books in which many people seem oblivious of society’s imminent doom, even the authors themselves, no matter how canny they try to be. I also thought of Anna Kavan’s Ice — a book I’d previously associated with climate change — in which a natural or perhaps supernatural force, a malignant and almost sentient ice, is engulfing the world, and no one is able to stop it.

But the thing is, someone could have stopped coronavirus. A lot of someones, up and down the various chains of command and control. They just … didn’t. And no one is oblivious to it anymore. We all know about it now. We’re all just sitting around, waiting to find out if we have it.

Honestly, the book I’ve been dwelling on the most these days is Mario Bellatin’s The Beauty Salon. It is a book about AIDS. It is a slight and brutal novella about a beauty salon in which gay men are dying of AIDS because hospitals will not take them in. It is a very grim book. I think it comes to mind so much mostly because I am cowardly, and I fear the overcrowded sick room: I fear being one among many stranded in beds lining hospital hallways or neglected in quickly converted conference halls or gymnasiums. I am childishly afraid of dying in the Javits Center.

But perhaps there is also a thread of connection here beyond my overwhelming cowardice. Covid-19 could very well be one of the few emergent diseases of the 20th or 21st centuries to become endemic, like HIV. People in cities across the country are sheltering in place, waiting to see if they are infected, because our country, unique among countries, does not have the tests to ease our minds. Failures of science like this are more frightening than just the diseases they fail to cure. Like with the malicious mishandling of the HIV epidemic, we know it is people, not gods, who have caused this thing. We look out our windows and we can see there’s something wrong in the air, something wrong in the world, besides the virus. 

  1. “Lawrence Wright’s New Pandemic Novel Wasn’t Supposed To Be Prophetic” by Lawrence Wright, The New York Times

This is the second time Lawrence Wright has done this.

2. “I’m Not Feeling Good at All” by Jess Bergman, The Baffler

Jess Bergman notices an emergent new genre and criticizes its implications. “With this literature of relentless detachment, we seem to have arrived at the inverse of what James Wood famously called ‘hysterical realism’ … Rather than an excess of intimacy, there is a lack; rather than overly ornamental character sketches, there are half-finished ones. Personality languishes, and desire has been almost completely erased…”

3. “Escaping Blackness” by Darryl Pinckney, The New York Review of Books

In a review of Thomas Chatterton Williams’ latest memoir, Darryl Pinckney surveys the history and literature of resisting and ‘transcending’ race. “Even when you’re done with being black and blackness, it seems that you cannot cease explaining why.”

4. “I called out American Dirt’s racism. I won’t be silenced.” by Myriam Gurba, Vox

Less than a month after Myriam Gurba wrote the essay that triggered a wave of well-deserved backlash against American Dirt, she was put on administrative leave at the high school where she teaches.

5. “Frequently Asked Questions About Your Craniotomy” by Mary South, The White Review

Mary South’s short story collection You Will Never Be Forgotten published this past week. One story from the collection, excerpted in The White Review earlier this year, is told in the style of a brain surgeon’s FAQ for patients.

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6. “Heroic Work in a Very Important Field” by David Gelber, The Literary Review

A book review of a book about book reviews. “Uncertain why you are reading this? Good, because I’m not any more certain why I’m writing it.”

7. “How Shakespeare Shaped America’s Culture Wars” Sarah Churchwell, The New Statesman

A review of Shakespeare in a Divided America, James Shapiro’s account of the uses and abuses of Shakespeare in American political history.

8. “‘Minor Feelings’ and the Possibilities of Asian-American Identity” by Jia Tolentino, The New Yorker

Jia Tolentino on Cathy Park Hong’s essay collection Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning. “Hong is writing in agonized pursuit of a liberation that doesn’t look white—a new sound, a new affect, a new consciousness—and the result feels like what she was waiting for.”

9. “What Happened to Jordan Peterson?” by Lindsay Beyerstein, The New Republic

The self-important self-help guru seems to have suffered a severe health episode and his daughter has made some very peculiar statements about what happened.

10. “Pigs in Shit” by Hunter Braithwaite, Guernica

Hunter Braithwaite reviews Jean-Baptiste Del Amo’s Animalia, a disturbing multi-generational pig-farming novel. “Animalia will come as no surprise. It does not speculate. It doesn’t offer warnings. Which is fine, because if climate change has taught us anything, it’s that warning signs don’t mean shit.”

11. “Woody Allen’s Book Could Signal a New Era in the Publishing Industry” by Maris Kreizman, The Outline

Hachette employees staged a walk-out to protest the house publishing Woody Allen’s memoir. Surprisingly, it worked.

12. “What’s So Funny About the End of the World?” by Rumaan Alam, The New Republic

Rumaan Alam writes about Deb Olin Unferth’s Barn 8, another recent novel that revels in its disgust for industrial farming (this time chickens, not pigs) and views its violent practitioners as a doomed species. As Alam notes, “We might be sad about the end of humanity, but the chickens are probably relieved.”

  Happy reading! Stay inside if you can!

Dana Snitzky Books Editor @danasnitzky Sign up here

[thekirstenkhaye]

Thank you, 2018. NEXT!

Ari, I’m sorry. Just trying to be punny there.

Peace y’all! Hope that didn’t get to shoo you away from reading this entry. Bear with me, please. I just really suck when it comes to my intros. Now let’s move on, eh? NAKA MOVE ON NGA AKO EH, kayo pa kaya?

Kirsten, ENOUGH.

K, let’s do this 😊

This entry will be full-packed of stories, facts and reflections from how this year had been. You know why? Well, I may not have been updating that much on my social media accounts anymore of all the things that have had happened this past year, but I swear to G! This year has probably been the MOST EVENTFUL year that I’ve had thus far. Of course, when I suffered from that ruptured AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation) in my brain and tried to recover from it on the years 2013-2014 will never be irreplaceable on being a major turning point in my life. However, if we’ll talk about on actually living life, 2018 has been one heck of a kind of roller coaster ride, living life to the fullest and a fckload of growing up.

So, let’s start. Shall we?

Honestly, I got side-tracked for a couple hours, in this exact part while writing. Yeah, shoot my short attention span and all over the place mind. But you’ll see why I had to do them first. I mean, that if you are actually here reading this and you know, thought of browsing and reading more of what is in this blog. Because I assure you, just clicking on those words up there in the header, you’ll see more. And yes, I’m shamelessly plugging now and wasting more of your time just to read more of my nonsense blabs because I did update everything that you can read here that are just extra. Hihi. I’m so sorry. But I hope you liked what you’ve read if you actually spent some time reading one or two more entries from this blog other than this one.

Now, let’s truly begin.

First of all, I guess, as how I always start my entries.. You’re here now in my somewhat personal space, my outlet, my blog, welcome to Lifenigma!

It has been awhile yet again since I last posted a decent entry. If I’m not mistaken, it has been 4 long months. And to be honest, even though it has been that long already, some things are still as complicated as how they were. Although, let me emphasize with “some”, eh? Because for the last couple months, there is at least one thing that have cleared in my life. You wanna know what?

Well, have you ever asked yourself what the Amighty has been thinking why on the name of Him you are alive and has to live your frigging life? SAME. I know. Especially in times when you just don’t know what to do with your life. Yes, I have asked the same question maybe more than a thousand times that He probably got tired of it already and now just showed me how I could determine the answer to my never ending query.

It wasn’t easy, I must say. It took me awhile to figure it out. And then one day, you know, I realized, damn, this is me. This is my purpose. This is the reason why I’m not laying stone cold dead 9 feet under. I found it and my passion for it has what kept me driven to wake up every single day with a very optimistic mind, heart and soul.

So you know what? There may be things that are very complicated until this moment I’m typing this entry out, but by just thinking of this purpose of mine in this world, I’m full, I’m complete and I’m sure that I’ll get by no matter what. All these complicated things that are bugging me are just bonuses of accepting to live the life He still gave me a chance to live, one more time. I mean, this may not be the last time that He’ll let me, but who knows right?This might be the last one, too, already but I don’t mind anymore. Because I know by now that I got to live it with a purpose, and not just surviving it for my own benefit.

You’re probably itching to know now what on earth is this girl has been talking about, aren’t you? Well, if you are my friend or even just an acquaintance from somewhere now that I’ve been visiting to, you would know somehow. You’ll probably have a guess that is probably right anyway. But if you’re not and are just here because you saw my tweet or post somewhere about this and got curious so you clicked on it and tried reading, then let me tell a brief story first.

Hi, Hello! This girl’s name is Kirsten but usually, people call me “Kaye” now. It’s actually just K like the letter because that’s from my nickname before which was ‘KL’ but somewhere along the way of my life, some people in it were lazy enough to not include L in calling me hence it ended up with K. But I’m too extra to just stuck myself with a one letter name so I created my own name that most people actually thought now that it’s my real second name, so yeah. Anyways, enough about my name. That’s actually not the story that I want you to know. But at least now you know, right? Hihi. Okay, moving on.

I think let’s just cut this story short. I’m 23 now so it has been how many years now? LOL, do the math, man. But yeah, when I was 17, it was summer, April 9th of 2013 if I can remember it correctly. It was around noon, we were taking a break from arranging the decorations in the garden of our client where her son’s going to have his party. We were having our lunch, talking about stuff that I couldn’t really remember anymore. Then I went for a glass of ice cold coke, took a sip and the next thing I know is there was this electricity-like that went from my head straight out to my left arm that it felt like it’s going to get removed from my body on how strong the current that went throught it was. When I got my consciousness back, I was already in the ICU with my head feeling like they’re going to break open and all I could think of was “Why isn’t there a priest here, yet? Am I not going to die already?” But somehow, I survived one whole week aching in the ICU with tubes attached to my groin, my mouth, my nose, my arm, my hand. Somehow, I just woke up one day, the nurses were already rolling me up to a Recovery Room. And in the Recovery Room was when I figured I could not move anything on the left part of my body anymore. It was when I talked, my saliva would just drip uncontrollably on the side of my mouth. It was when I wanted to scratch my arm where my IV was taped on, but I couldn’t even lift my left arm. It was when I wanted to pee, only to realize that there was a catheter in my you-know-where. It was when I got hungry and asked for a food and they gave me a blended shit and fed me through an NGT (Nasogastric Tube). It was when for the first time in a very long time, I had to be bathe by other people. And all I had to do was go with all of it because it was the situation that I had to deal with.

Okay, story time is over.

Was it sad? Was it depressing? Well, that was only my vague memories in the hospital, ladies and gentleman. But everything that happened clearly in my head after that fate I had to get through, well, let’s just not talk about it. 2013-2014 were the years that I had to deal with all of that. One takeaway from those years? Depression isn’t just a phase. It’s something that you will just learn to live with. Ever wonder why I need this blog? It doesn’t really do much to me just like how usual bloggers out there right now are benefiting from it. No, I don’t have this for things like that. I tried though, I won’t deny that. But I realized, no, this is not that. This is my outlet. This is where I can breathe all the bottled up thoughts and feelings that I have to let go of somehow because I wouldn’t ever get to do that with anyone in person.

Now, again, Kirsten, get to the point, yeah? What is this purpose of yours that you have found? LOL. Okay, folks! Relax. Hihi. Here you go.

It’s pretty obvious, I guess. Especially to those people who have an idea of what I have been doing this past year. Yes, I have been volunteering with stuff that has something to do with the sector of Persons with Disabilities. I have been since 2017. However, I guess, 2017 was more on like empowering myself first as a person with disability that has accepted her new given life as a cause of having an acquired disability. In 2018 though, I began to start seeing the potential in me of becoming a leader. The potential that somehow, some other people had seen first than seeing it myself first. And in this year, I have embraced that. It was tiring. It was even nerve-wracking at some point. It actually came to a point also that it overwhelmed me somehow. But you know what? While all of those were what I was feeling, I’m still willing to do everything just for something that it needs for it to be done. And that’s how I found it, my purpose. That in the same way I got myself empowered despite my disability, I want to help other people with disabilities too to see the silver lining of their situation. It’s not going to be easy, I know that. I’ve seen it for a year now. But I know, one day, if not all, at least there will be more PWDs out there that wouldn’t be afraid to get out anymore because they know they are also part of the society, that they matter. And somehow, I hope, one day, the community would be more disability inclusive already and not see and treat them as an outlier.

And you know, just as simple as knowing that I’ve got to acknowledge them, that’s enough for me. Because, you know, sometimes, people just need to feel that there’s a person that sees him/her and would be willing to listen of what he/she is going to say. Sometimes some people just want to share something that happened to them and all you have to do is listen, and you know sometimes that already means a lot to somebody.

Anyways, I’m not exaggerating here, okay? I’m not even trying to put myself on the pedestal of being an effin good samaritan. Cause well, let me tell you, almost all my co-leaders actually know how much of a bitch I can be when I’m out of it with being an angel. LMAO. You get my point there already, I guess, yeah?

You’re probably wondering now why I’m stressing that topic so much in this entry when this is a year-ender one. It’s simple, I think. It’s just that I’m very thankful that at the end of this very rocky year that I’ve had in 2018, I got to end it with this very meaningful turn of events. It’s very simple, if you would think of it. It’s just one thing. But I guess it’s just that meaningful and powerful that it let me look over all the not-so-nice things that have happened to me this year. Frankly, I can’t even feel the pain from them hard times anymore. I haven’t forgotten them and I don’t think I’d ever will, but you know, it’s not that much of a big deal to me anymore.

I know and I’m sure of it that one of these days, I will have to face them  ̶  you know, family matters, my lovelife and I should probably include here my work too. But as I said up there, these are all just bonuses to me already. I’ll deal with them in time. But for now, wherever those other things are at in this life of mine, I’m just glad that they are there making me this strong woman that I am now.

My dear 2018, with all the pain and disappointments you brought me, I still thank you. So please, tara na sa NEXT! Hehe. Just kiddin, not really that in a hurry. Not much but I don’t think anyone has a choice now anyway but be ready for another year, yeah?

I hope you all have reflected on the things 2018 had brought you, may they be good or not so good. You still have time to do it. 2019 is just around the corner now. And as most people say, NEW YEAR, NEW ME! Can be. But always remember, It’s just another day to live by. Just keep on going. And bear this in mind, you don’t have to be a brand new you, you just have to make sure that you are here willing to be better than you were earlier.

 Vivre la vie au maximum, folks! Bonne Année!

                         ~Kaye

PS: I know I didn’t talk about some other stuff that you might be expecting I would talk about. I will. I will, okay? Just saving it for a different entry, just so I’d be motivated to use my laptop and start writing my thoughts out again, than bottling them up and just forcing myself to not mind them that much because it would just be too much. So, just STAY TUNED, I guess. And do come back again, if you’re a new visitor. Have a happy New Year! 😊

[onehundredbetterdays]

Slow magic.

I want to dedicate this post on writing to my grandmother. She passed away on September 20, 2006. It’s been 11 years without her but there is never a day that I don’t remember her presence and how she told me first, before anyone else, that I would be a writer one day. She never let me doubt that and, in a world that is often too cynical, I am thankful for that belief. My grandmother– Dolores– is the woman on the left in this photograph. I write for her. Always. 

  Hello Hannah,

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post for forever. Every time I sit down to write anything my mind goes blank. I think back on previous posts and expect something new and marvelous to appear out of thin air. As if the words magically formed sentences on their own and I was just a bystander.

I put a lot of pressure on myself, in every aspect of my life. If you don’t get this done today you never will. If you can’t come up with anything now, how do you ever expect to?  If you don’t make the time for this and that and the other thing you will always be stuck. It’s a torturous, stressful, overwhelming cycle. And a lot of the time I give in. I step back from what I know I should be doing because I’m tired. I’m tired of the uncertainty. I’m tired of the doubt that creeps in when I open a new document and attempt to form words into concrete ideas. I’m tired of feeling unimpressionable. I spend so much of my energy on the thought that my words are inconsequential to the world around me. As if what I’m trying to express has been beaten to death and all I’m doing is adding to the repetition of the chain of the same thoughts the world has already heard.

So, I close the document and start a new tv show. I open Pinterest and drown my insecurities in motivational quotes that don’t encourage me enough to create a world full of characters that haunt my dreams because I’m too afraid. Afraid they’re not good enough. Afraid I will fall short and never know or understand how to shape them into their full potential. Afraid I will forever be the girl with dreams that never made them happen because her creativity only lasted a few pages. Afraid I will be stuck in a routine I hate because I was too doubtful. Too stubborn to give me  a chance. A chance to prove that I can do more than stock shelves and tell people which TV brand is better.

I’ve been meaning to email you for awhile but I’ve also been avoiding it. Because I know there’s only so much you can say or do. I have to do the work. I have to believe in myself. I have to push myself.  I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in English two years ago and I’ve yet to figure out what to do with it. The ultimate goal for quite awhile now has been to be an author. But in this day and age, you have to be making a steady income to live. And I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself but I’ve gotten into this awful habit of letting time pass by and saying I’ll figure it out tomorrow. I’m just worried I won’t ever figure it out. I’m turning 24 a week from today and I know everyone says I’m young and I have time but what happens when time runs out? When is it no longer acceptable that I have no career in sight?

Reading over those words out loud I started crying. Because I don’t know anything. I work 25-40hrs a week at a job that I hate because I need to be working and I’m too intimidated to apply anywhere else. I can feel my creative juices depleting and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even know what I’m qualified to do.

-M

Sweet M-

First off, thank you for writing to me. Your words are brilliant and bold. I can see you’re caught. You’re stuck. You’re standing at the end of a sidewalk, ready to cross the road, but Fear is holding up a “Do Not Cross” sign and you are listening to it. Even with no threat of cars coming, you don’t want to move. You don’t want to cross. However, you are reaching the point we would all be lucky to reach someday- the point of realizing it will break your heart to never cross and see what is waiting on the other side.

Fear has a well-plotted agenda for you. It wants to keep you safe at all costs. It doesn’t want your heart to be broken. It doesn’t want your knees to get scraped. And, while I think Fear is noble for trying to stay on mission, what your Fear might not understand is how badly it will be the culprit of breaking your heart if it doesn’t move out of the way. Your Fear will likely be stubborn and it won’t move out of the way. You are going to have to push into, M. You are going to have to wrestle that Fear to the ground, let that Fear watch you as you cross the road. Fear may always be a part of the story but that doesn’t mean you need to give it a trophy or let it win. You can honor your fear’s existence but you don’t have to give it a rose ceremony.

k

…

I know your fear feels very original to you but I can promise you this: hundreds of us have this same fear. Thousands of us go to sleep at night wondering if all of this matters. If our words will ever count. If we will ever just write the book or create the blog. There are words trapped inside of a lot of us, begging to just get past the Fear that guards the door.

I felt just like you graduating from college. I stepped out into the world with my English degree and I thought I would make something of myself in New York City. New York City is an intoxicating city, especially for young dreamers. What I didn’t know, what I would soon learn, is that I was so incredibly small. My thoughts were small. My movements were small. I felt like I could easily be swallowed up by the city and no one would notice if I was gone. I felt forgettable. I thought, in those first few months after college, that it was a lie to ever think I was memorable. I was really just one person in a sea of other persons. So many of us looked so unhappy trying to push upstream.

But I woke up, M. I woke up and I got to work. I had a blog. This same blog you see today. It was really small at the time but I realized I could probably help one person. One person because five people. Five people turned into 400. The numbers grew but only because I kept coming back and choosing words over fear. I don’t show up for popularity, I show up because I believe words can change lives and do it more effectively than any other tool in this world.

I surrounded myself with good people, people who desired to see me win. I became a student of life and I started interviewing every person I could find who would give me five minutes of their time. I interviewed countless people, all from a cell phone in New York City, on how they got from point A to point B. I honored every reader who sent me an email. I thanked them and read their stories. I wrote for them, just as I am writing for you.

I kept blogging. I kept writing. I said “yes.” I figured out what I had to say and I kept figuring it out. I gave myself permission to mess up and make a fool of myself for the art of words. I wrote things I didn’t want to write. I did health articles for $50 a piece about topics I didn’t care about. I freelanced for free just to get a byline. I was there. If someone needed me at an event to tweet or write, I was there. The biggest advice I can give to you is just this: say yes to every chance to write and say thank you for everything. Say yes to that small blog. Say yes to that volunteer opportunity. Say yes to writing the nonprofit’s Christmas letter to their donors. Just say yes and say thank you. More doors will likely open.

k

…

People will stop telling you to go after your dreams. They will tell you to get practical. They will tell you to get the big paychecks. They will tell you to work to prove yourself. We get older and we stop talking about dreams as much. I don’t want you to go there, M. The world is full of cynics and we don’t need any more naysayers as this current time.

Yes, you need to work hard. No, you cannot expect things to just be handed to you. Yes, you are going to take on some jobs that you absolutely hate. I’ve been there. I worked the jobs. I remember working at a call center for As Seen On TV. I would spend the night shift taking phone call after phone call of complaints about people’s Aqua Globes and Ab Rockets. I listened to a man cry to me about how 80 boxes of tomato planters were sitting on his front porch in brown boxes because the computer-automated voice messed up the order. In the moments where the phone wasn’t ringing, I would scribble stories down on pieces of blank paper. I would not sit in that little cube and wonder about the stories I could write one day, I just started writing them.

Do I have any of those scribbled stories today? No. I would probably look back on them and deem them useless but that’s not the point. The point is this: you need to be writing. Good words. Bad words. Words you never want to see again. Write. Write to figure out who you are. Write to figure if you have a voice and what that voice has to say. Write dumb, little stories. Write poems. I was so engraged with the call center I was working at that I thought I would write a tell-all book about the corruption of the “products sold on TV” industry. That idea was short-lived but it fueled me to start writing. In that way, it served its purpose.

The life of a writer doesn’t just appear one day like an Amazon package showing up at the door. You are going to have to build that life and you cannot build it out of productivity applications or followers on platform. The life of a writer is built out of scrap papers and words, not entitlement. It’s a lie to think you can sit down and watch the words show up like mythical elves ready to be aligned on the page. You’ve got to be willing to say: screw the instant magic, I’m ready to work. 

Most writers will be sure to tell you there isn’t real magic when you first sit down to start writing. There’s just you and a document or you with a notebook. You likely need to shower or change your clothes. There’s likely too much dry shampoo in your hair. The coffee is likely cold. The desire to walk away and go watch Netflix will dance around you like a temptress. You’ll feel the need to watch pointless Lifetime movies or go through all the seasons of Gilmore Girls for the second time. Rory and Lorelai won’t be there with you to bury your writer dreams if you keep choosing Netflix over your craft. It won’t be their fault at the end of the day if you don’t sit down and start to write. That’s on you, babe. That’s on you.

I’m sorry if I seem harsh. It’s not my intention. I just get into fierce, no-nonsense Mama-bear mode when it comes to people who know they have a voice. I want you to figure out all you have to offer to the world while you’re here. It breaks my heart to think we could go our whole lives without figuring out what we have to say.

k

…

M, there will be magic. It won’t strike during the first five minutes. It usually doesn’t make an appearance until late in the game. Slow magic. But there is a magic that any writer could tell you about. We like to say we are good with words but this kind of magic and the description of it fails us. All I can say is that the magic of writing fills your lungs and gives you purpose. It makes you feel like your hands are on fire, like you need to take a few laps. It will make you feel untouchable and invincible. It will fill your heart in a way people, places, exotic dishes, and good music never could. It’ll feel like coming home and being completely full, all at once.

I want this for you, girl, but I have to be straight with you: the world can never give it to you. The culture can’t promise you such a thing. Followers who want to be like you can never give you this feeling. You have to sit down, in all your spare moments, and you need to start writing. And I promise you something is going to happen. You are going to learn about yourself. You will feel so damn proud at certain points. But it won’t be instant and it won’t happen overnight.

The answer is small. Start small. Dig deep. Sit down. Start to write. Say yes. Go.

It’s in you already.

tying you closer than most,

hb.

  THE YEAR OF THE BOOK

It’s that time of year again!

I’ll be offering my book writing course this November and I would love to see you there. I only offer this course once a year so grab your seat this year of wait for doors to open again in November 2018.

After writing two books (and working on two more), I am so ready to teach this course with new fire and new instruction. I love to talk about the writing process and I especially love coaching people to create works of 20,000 words or more.

This 3-hour course is for the ones who know they have a book they need to write. Whether it’s a fully cooked idea or just the start of an outline, this course will help you map it out, create a discipline of writing, and learn the steps it takes to move a book forward in the publishing world. You can grab your EarlyBird seat here. Prices for the course will go up at the beginning of October.

If you have any questions or want to ask me about the course, please send an email to info@hannahbrencher.com and we will get back to you shortly!

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