#this one is extremely sad and frustrated

[emuwarum]

the other character I was unable to find for a while. Finally found it in the depths of my art folders within art folders (no clue why past me put it there)

[topicaltropic]

oops! all wips

[cloudd-nyne]

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[paperlovesadness]

Me seeing all the comments under Glasto-themed posts blaming Alex for being sick and calling off Dublin

I'm barely able to fold that knife though.... And I'm not trusting myself that it'll stay folded.

[snailune]

wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it

[munamania]

something on my mind rn. as you all know i’m a lesbian. applause from the audience. and sometimes it just gets to be like annoying when. well. so i have at least A friend who’s asked me several times over ‘so you don’t have Any attraction to men? like at all?’ and i know they’re not being like malicious but you know. that answer has not changed since like seventh grade. and in the same vein it just feels aggravating when i have the nerve to say Oh i think she seems like a lesbian. that’s giving dyke. etc. and to be met with ‘umm well maybe she actually does like men.’ like. first of all in personal conversations if i’m just saying shit chances are i’m just going off of patterns from my own life or other lesbians i know. i’m not here for Bi Erasure and i promise you in this context your attraction to men is not ever invalidated as much as my lack of it. esp in college with so many people talking about their dating/app experiences and etc it’s 99.9999% of the time about men and i just Can’t participate in that conversation which is yk not the end of the world but a bit isolating and even if i do contribute anything it just feels like… a slight Stiffening like. and even just getting brushed off with Well yeah but you’re not even into guys. like real! i still have eyes though. and esp when my attraction isn’t being celebrated and engaged with in the way theirs is it’s just really fucking lonely! and maybe that’s a gross inner voice of insecurity that i’m projecting onto them but like you must get what i mean right. there’s still this odd air specifically around people who Do Not engage with men at all. and if i do make any kind of joke or comment abt someone maybe just Not being into guys i’m made into the asshole who’s invalidating their experiences etc when like. i’m just saying shit man idk. and it’s like many of these people are bi and claim attraction to women but get so like uncomfortable actually talking about it. i don’t think i’m the one with problems! i think there’s still some internalized shit there. you know. anyway all this to say as much as we’ve had the conversation of invalidating bi attraction some of you need to think about not treating gay attraction as this secondary awkward weird elephant in the room. and on a more personal note on top of the Everything that was getting under my skin last night this was just a cherry on top where i was feeling soo… misunderstood and invalidated lol even tho again i largely think those friends were being very supportive and kind to me. this is just one thing i was like. 😐

[0809sysblings]

idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref

[pepprs]

not having a good train ride rn 😻

[clownpassing]

like how do you start dealing with the reality of your situation when you realize that actually it isn't getting better and you're getting sick all the time and nobody cares/the best you get out of conversations w people is another crack, expensive, hokey "solution" to boost your immune system

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt my dupe ocs again, and I'm returning to my cringe fail silly ones who exist solely for me to have fun. Basically one of the colonies is sort of a lil experimental ground dupe wise where most of the dupes get to have some fun critter biology meshed in there, with most of them being fairly stable, but a few of them having a bit of a harder time for some reason or another. Such as having no bones and the most fragile skin known to dupe kind.

[the-cryptographer]

Mmm... I think Aloy Horizon Zero Dawn kinda disappoints me as a protagonist because I can definitely feel the ways the story went out of its way to minimise her relationship with her gender. Aloy is someone who imho would be a more resonant character if the game better explored her feelings about being outcast and excluded from her tribe AND about being excluded from societal femininity. Something I don't imagine she would simply wish to be included in either - it's complicated. But the absence of this conflict in the narrative to me feels like an oversight that can basically only be explained by trying to keep a female protagonist otherwise as comfortable for male devs/players as possible, and not letting gender influence her priorities in a way that would make them clash with those of male players.

And I think it's fair if the writers/devs didn't feel capable of tackling this. And this is of course happening in an environment of executives that are wary of funding games with female protagonists to start with and an environment of gamers who are incredibly sexist and like to complain when a fictional women is too martially competent or has vellus hair.

But, yeah... mmm... idk? I suppose this is also me disbelieving the egalitarian quality of the worldbuilding? It's not that women are less martially capable than men or unable to meaningfully hunt and fight. It's that this is a world where people are under constant threat of death via killer robots and exposure, and any group of people who regularly take on the task of leaving camp to hunt will suffer casualties. And losing too many people with wombs (who are disproportionately if not exclusively women) is uh... extremely bad for the survival of a population in a way losing people without them isn't.

So, yeah, realistically there should be fewer women hunters in this verse. And it's not a problem that Aloy - who is already an outcast and has been written off by the tribe and needed to learn to live in the wilds - is totally bamf at archery and climbing and taking down robots and bandits. Just, yeah, like... I think if anything this should be more of a mixed blessing and another thing that separates her from social conformity. And it's almost strange to feel the game lean out of this interpretation rather than into it when they have Aloy otherwise struggle against being accepted as an outcast with her own people and as an outlander with ppl of other tribes.

[clownboy-yeehonk]

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[munch-mumbles]

kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back

[leeblissy]

:/

[iloveyoubecauseyouarelove]

Hearing my ma go off about betrayed trust like 💀

It's not that deep not everything some does or doesnt do that you Dont like is Not a dig at you

Like my sibling didnt mention they gave 20 dollars to a friend for a game. I dont think it's unreasonable for my ma to have want to know but also it's not unreasonable for my sibling to have just not said. My sibling has hundreds of dollars, im sure 20 seems inconsequential. Should they have lied and said 5 dollars when asked? No, especially not with how hypocritical my ma is about even the "smallest of lies". But should my ma have feelings of betrayal at not being told to begin with? Also no, my ma just likes to think every behavior she doesnt like is an intentional personal attack

Like 1 time i was punished and had to leave my smartphone at home and take a backup phone to school. Keyword: school. I have no reason to be on the phone that has no apps no web right? And my ma doesnt always text me during school. She also told me i dont need to keep the phone On. So i left it off the whole day except for when i check my phone at lunch, around the time she texts me yeah? I dont get any texts so i turn the phone back off until after school. Turns out my ma texted me a Little bit after i turned off the phone. But she starts berating me about not texting her as a way to get back at her for punishing me and taking away my phone. I was just so ??? Damn confused. I explained to her that i turned my phone on at lunch and then turned back off after and she didnt care? And then she was like why did you have the phone off anyways? I told her she said to leave it off. She said she meant the ringer and i didnt know how to do that but also she said i could turn the phone off. She didnt care, she thought she disproved me and i was just trying to make excuses for trying to get back at her. I Might have told her i was going to answer during class and i dont have time during passing cause my classes were so far. She still didnt care. She put it in her mind i was trying to punish her for punishing me and so that's it. I wouldnt be able to change her mind

[artfulacrostic]

y'all ever just have like. insane anxiety, and you're irritated about the thing that's causing it, and that makes u more anxious? bc i'm like fully aware that i'm having it bc of my anxiety disorder. but i'm still going in a circle here gdi 😑