#this one is my favorite tho and im documenting this here so maybe one day i will come back to this blog and write it... who knows

[rosamariaa]

I've been thinking a lot about a remus/sirius Ministry of Magic office AU..

Often I see ppl talking about what would Sirius work with if there wasn't a war going on and he could just live his life in peace and one of my favorite headcanons is that he would be an 'Unspeakable'. Those are the ppl that work in the department of mysteries, that by itself is one of coolest things in the wizarding world, according to me. The department of mysteries is responsible for confidential studies of death, love, time etc (A lot of crazy things that honestly no one should have to mess with but obvs they do anyways...) It's high-level security place, no one besides the researchers are allowed in those chambers. No one even knows who are those researchers and what they do, actually.

Buut, its sirius we are talking about and the guy is a genius but also can be pretty reckless and, in this specific scenario, I think he would be a borderline "crazy scientist" so. He fucks up down the line. I don't know what he does, exactly, but it's something that put his and others researchers' lives at risk. Bc of that, he is sent to work in a waaay more mundane department: Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. It's a cool department!! Remember that first poa scene where harry turns aunt marge into a balloon etc? well those are the guys who they call to fix that. They even have a Obliviators division, responsible for changing Muggles' memory in case they are exposed to accidental magic. Those guys are full of themselves and annoying as hell, btw.

and I see Sirius being sent there, after The Accident. It's cool in theory, but most of the time it's puuuure paperwork and it bores sirius to no end.

well, guess who works there as well. Our guy, Remus j. lupin.

Remus isn't one to do field work so he mostly works in the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee division (god I love those long ass names). Basically he comes up with stuff to excuse magic happening in the muggle world etc. like when peter killed a bunch of muggles and the muggle paper said it was a "big gas explosion". Pure paperwork. Boring as hell.

Anyway, Sirius turns up there out of nowhere and he is the office sweetheart. It fucking boggles remus mind, like. Sirius always goes to the office parties and seems to be friends with everyone but no one knows anything about this guy. He just gets there, a almost 30 yo with a bunch of obscure work experience and no one knows what he did before that, who his family is, where he is from and how the hell does he knows the stuff that he knows.

Sirius is great at field work, he mostly works directly in the Obliviators division and remus is really great with the paperwork stuff sooo they get paired up a lot. At first, they are a bit annoyed by each other (my fav wolfstar flavor). It's funny because they actually agree with almost everything but they just approach things veeery differently and so they are bickering all the damn time. And Sirius is a Certified Little Shit™ and is constantly doing things that drives remus a bit crazy. Once they had a case of a water fountain exploding bc two wizards were fighting in a public park and instead of obliviating the muggles into believing it was only a piping problem or whatever, he went out of his way to turn it into a sort of elaborate flash mob that went viral on tiktok. Remus spent the night awake documenting everything. He wanted to strangle sirius that day.

between late nights working and lots of crazy field work (thanks to sirius) those two end up getting closer and closer. Remus still thinks Sirius is a bit insane, but now in a I-want-you-to-fuck-me-into-this-desk type way. Sirius, on the other hand, doesn't let go of his previous research. I think that back then he would, specifically, study and experiment a lot with Love, in special familial love (yep.) The thing about those confidential dept. of mysteries' experiments is that they can be pretty... unethical. And that's the break point of their story: Remus finding out about Sirius research and finally wondering at what lengths did sirius went to understand something as complicated as Love and what the fuck he did to get banished from the department back then, and worse: if he ever used remus in those experiments. and even more worse: The fact that remus doesn't stop loving him even if he did.

A last fun fact is that they, at one point, would have an inside joke about that "MIB: man in black" movie, they watched it together one late night and sirius kept referencing it when he went to obliviate muggles and remus thought it was the funniest silliest thing ever

[your--isgayrights]

Okay i actually have no clue on how tumblr works (hope I'm doing this right lmao) but I'm writing my first fic (I still can't really move on from orv so I decided to make my own content lol.), I really love your writing style, do you have any tips??

Hmmmm tips tips tips tips.... First of all I’m really flattered that you like my writing enough to ask me about it! I’ll try to give my best answer... I think that I used to read a lot of people’s “writing tips” but ultimately I ended up not really understanding them until I started writing a lot? Either way it’s fun to read how other authors think... It’s really cool that you’re writing your first fic and you thought to come to me... did I already say that? Okay long post under the cut.

I don’t think this will be all that helpful, but this is just things that I think about if that’s interesting!

For me a lot of writing is like struggling with motivation (I have ADHD so that’s probs why), I really have to pace myself while writing because I can’t just force myself to do it. If I go in every day and think “I have to write today I’m not doing anything so I should be writing” I can get burnt out really easily, even if I really like the thing I’m writing and know how it’s supposed to go. So one of my big things is that when I’m not thinking about writing I’m not thinking about writing. that gives my brain a break and refreshes me when I get back to my google document.

Something I’ve also struggled with having to remember is that there’s like. Never a perfect way to write. What I end up doing is thinking up ideas and fragments and sentences in my head and the very moment I think of something I like I have to write it down in my notes app. Most of my writing process ends up being like. Filling in the blanks and connecting the dots between scene fragments. 

For fics in particular I’d also just recommend rereading your favorite parts of the og work! I’m the kind of person who has a pretty good reading memory, so people may have noticed that I include a lot of little details referencing the text in my fic. Just reading the work kind of helps you remember the voices of the character and the style of the narration, and if you just like. internalize it. you can probably replicate it pretty well if you wanted to.

OKAY I say that but don’t worry too much about replicating things in the og work perfectly. I find that a lot of times when I’m writing I’m inserting a lot of personal touches and putting things that are a part of me in the work. Writing is always going to be like. an extension of your voice, no matter what you’re writing. I think that when I heard about stuff like that from authors in the past I was always like. What? I’m not writing about things that happened to me. I’m writing about grown adult men having emotional issues, silly. But there’s like a lot more nuance to writing about yourself, I guess. Like you don’t have to have like a self insert or be projecting onto a character to have yourself reflected in something you’ve written.

I’d say that like, whatever you write as your first fic is going to be lovely, but when you grow up as a writer and look back on it, you’re not going to remember who you were when you wrote it. I think that’s why a lot of people look back on their first works and are like “I can’t believe I wrote that, what was I thinking, cringe cringe cringe ugh.” Like I definitely do that sometimes, but I’ve found that the old work I’m happiest with nowadays is the stuff where I can recognize myself in it, even if I’m not in that fandom anymore or if there’s old jokes or typos I don’t remember making. 

With that being said, I’m the kind of person who always gives myself a mission statement when I’m writing. I sort of mentally go, okay, I’m writing this kind of thing, and this is why I’m writing it. It can be something like oh I’m writing this fluff piece because I love this character and wish they had a happier ending, or  oh I want to write this multi chapter fic exploring an issue touched on in the original work but I feel like with my own experiences I could expand on it more than the author did. Just something that tells me why it is important to me to write this thing when I’m writing it.

AAAH I feel like I made that sound more dramatic than it really is, that’s just how I think I guess. I’m the kind of guy where its like things need to have like MEANING to me when I do them. I’m dramatic and gay and that’s my personality I guess 😔.

Hmmm maybe it’s also my BIGGEST writing tip tho. Like kind of just thinking things through when you’re writing is pretty important. When I was first learning to write at all (talking about baby baby me here this is like sort of a side tangent sorry) I think that a lot of times I would copy phrases and developments that I had liked in things that I had read without really fully considering why I would include those things other than the fact that that was just what I thought writing was. It’s important to consider what importance every scene and sentence has to do with the flow of the story. Are they just things that are happening, or is there a reason that the audience needs to know these things? The weight of your words should have some sort of consequence as a result of you writing them. Are you telling the audience information they need to know? Is it about how the character feels? What does this say about the character? Etc.

I suppose that’s sort of my own writing style. You’ll probably notice that I don’t write a lot of descriptive prose if you read my fic. The thing about me is that I never want to write something that makes my audience question why they’re reading it, I guess. I’m sort of self conscious and think about the reading experience a lot. All of the things I choose to describe are usually so that the reader can understand where people are in the scene and what emotions they are having. There’s a lot of emphasis that I put in like. A reader’s ability to read into things, which works against me sometimes because I’m not always certain if people picked up on different things that I put a lot of thought into (the curse of being seen... sob).

ALSO use paragraph breaks. In my first fic (that I’m not going to tell anyone what is even though its on ao3 because im shy) the thing I always regret the MOST is that there are big chunky paragraphs that are hard to read through at the start. Like my eyes get lost. I mentioned I have ADHD before but even though I like. physically can’t read a big chunky paragraph I will always write them that way if left to my own devices. Paragraph breaks don’t have to just be broken up by dialogue they can be wherever you feel like doing them. You need a lot of them. This post should probably have more of them... oh my god it’s so long...

OKAY FOR REAL THOUGH IF YOU COULDN”T SLOG THROUGHT THE REST OF THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP IS RIGHT HERE: 

JUST LET YOURSELF WRITE

I have a lot of like. academic trauma, so maybe this is just me, but the reason I didn’t write fic until I was like 16 was because I was always really scared that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be good enough for some impossible standard I was setting for myself. I was always telling myself that I had certain bad writing habits or that I was terrible for never being able to focus on things for very long and all of my projects were doomed to failure before I even started. But then I wrote my first like 8 chapter fic in the summer of my junior year and I was like... oh. that wasn’t so bad. Like. It’s okay to know your limits, but you don’t really know them until you start writing. Like I wrote an 8 chapter fic, and then a few one shots, and then I tried to take on a very complicated project that ended up being over 40 chapters and I had to put it down because I just wasn’t really at the writing level to finish it. I would advise against writing fics that take so long to write that you start hating the way you wrote the first chapter, basically lol. Know how whatever you’re writing is supposed to begin and end before you start writing it.

Nowadays I always have like. plot outlines in my head when I start a fic. Like okay this needs to happen here this needs to happen here etc. I like making lists if it seems to overwhelming when I’m writing something long, just to organize my thoughts. 

OKAY I JUST TALKED A LOT. SORRY IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO READ ALL OF THIS BUT I’M A LITTLE CHATTY IF YOU DIDN’T NOTICE.

Defo feel free to dm me if you have like questions or just want to chat about orv or whatever. I’m a lonely little man out here floating on my pile of words, and I’d love to hear what your fic is about!! 

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[reeeyachi]

I know you are busy & such, so just answer this when you can. U know in your HxH fics, how do you write the characters so well, esp. Killua (somewhat Gon too as well)? I love reading (& maybe even writing soon once Im not busy with other things) HxH stuff, but I find people can have a hard time writing HxH characters. Like Leo, people mostly get right, Gon & Pika are more hit or miss. & Killua from my expernce, people have the hardest time w/. Like they get certain parts right & others wrong.

hiiiii i’m not sure when you sent this i hope it’s not too late but here i am! ty for sending an ask about writing fanfics, particularly characterization bcos that’s my most favorite part :3

ok first of all, omg, you’ve read my fics? thank you so so much! it means a lot :’) and i’ve been told several times too that i write the characters well (or that they’re in character, like they feel canon), and honestly i’m surprised that my way of characterizing canon casts in my writing is noticed by y’all, so thank you!

like i said, characterization is my fave part of writing. so i guess one way to answer you is that it’s because i deliberately and consistently analyze and check EVERY move and EVERY line/dialogue and EVERY action when writing them. like, i always ask myself, “would killua do this in canon?” “would gon say this in canon?” and i answer my own questions by going back to the anime/manga and checking if they have said/done the things/words i wanted them to do/say. if they have -- even just once -- it goes in my fic. If they haven’t, i’d instantly scrap them (i have a whole word document file containing ooc scrap scenes lol).

it’s a long process, super time consuming and takes up like 90% of my brain power when i’m writing. because i constantly think if how i write them is canon enough, as how i like it. and sometimes i go several days thinking about ONE scene or ONE line, analyzing, re-thinking if i should add them when i’m not exactly sure if it could be canon.

honestly tho? that’s just me. we could definitely write these canon characters as ooc if we wish. depends on the story and the writer, really. i also don’t think there’s anything wrong with veering away from canon personality, as long as there’s still quite a few canon traits in there, you should be fine :)

i wouldn’t really know the “right way” of writing hxh characters because i’m not togashi haha but i try my best to summon his brain so that i’d write them well and canon enough for my own satisfaction. (because i want the canon version of them in my stories). that’s also one advise i would give: do not settle for something that you don’t want to read about. if you think that they way you characterized a canon cast does not fit into their canon personality, or the way you want them to be, revise that shit. but, again, it really depends on you as a writer. if you feel that a scene or a dialogue would pass for you, then stop thinking about it and move on to the next scenes.

as for the difficulty in writing the characters, tbh, i find killua the easiest one to write about. i feel like it’s because we’ve seen his *feelings* and *emotions* in the anime/manga and we get like a whole perspective of him and his thoughts on certain matters. i’m not entirely sure why tho i just feel like i could relate with him better compared to gon, who i find the hardest to write about (because this kid doesn’t often show emotions/thoughts as deeper and in detail compared to killua).

i rarely write other characters, but if i would to rank them from easiest to most difficult to write based on my experience (and the characters i’ve written so far), here it is:

Killua

Leorio

Illumi

Kurapika

Hisoka

Chrollo

...

...

...

...

...

Gon

hahahah anwyay! i encourage you to write if you find the time. right now, i have too much stuff on my plate but i try to write everyday, every breaktime, even just a line or two on my phone, so that i won’t lose grip of my metaphors.

and really, write what you enjoy reading. you could honestly go crazy if you want. don’t think too much about characterization when you’re in the zone. once you’re done, then you could add/subtract/revise until you’re satisfied with your flow and characters.

write drunk, edit sober.

you are your number one reader. <3

[inyoursheets]

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

oh my goodness i WISH i had clear insight into my own writing process from start to finish, but honestly? im not that methodological, i think.

i usually start out with a collection of ideas -- and these ideas can be VERY vague. it can be a collection of random objects to scene ideas to themes. i throw them in one document and keep adding things until something of a plot emerges.

it depends on the nature of the fic a little -- most of my PWPs just start out from three bullet points, for example something like this:

jealous!rio

beth showing up without panties

rio’s chain makes an appearance

and then i just start writing, wherever, whatever. but warm water in particular started out with a list of descriptions of their apartment! that entire fic was inspired by me seeing an illustration of an apartment with a lot of blues, but it somehow still conveyed a lot of warmth. that made my mind go *bing* ROOMMATES FIC. so i started out by thinking about the apartment itself. the initial apartment list included:

Floor pillows (beth insisted)

Lots of blues

Long standing mirror (scene)

Tiny, messy kitchen with a fridge filled w/ left-over takeout and Greek yoghurt (for protein), cupboards full w/ rio’s protein shakes

Plants on stacks of books

Big windows, lots of light, one window that creaks

Lights draped places, definitely candles around

One leather couch, kinda worn, needs blankets

some of these things changed -- no floor pillows made it to the final cut, the greek yoghurt has become skyr, idk if draped lights are a thing or not but later on i realized it would clash too much with rio’s aesthetic. so it’s really just a collection of random details that helped me get a sense of the space.

then i made a list of scene ideas. mind you, at this point i had 0 plot in mind besides “ok so it’s gonna be friends-to-lovers”. some examples:

Beth getting ready for a date, standing in front of the long mirror, Rio helping her get her necklace on (top-tier romance)

Working on the couch together, Beth’s legs in Rio’s lap, him rubbing her feet at some point?

rio coming home w/ a pierced nose and beth driving him mad by not even mentioning it

beth lotioning her legs while rio bursts into her room to ask something but getting distracted by All That Leg

falling asleep together on the couch?

again, some of these never made the cut, and some of these grew way beyond their initial idea. then i made a list of plot points, which includes zero actual plot points, a list of “symbols/motifs” -- demonstrating that idk what those mean -- which has only two things on it:

Blue -- the apartment; the hottest part of the flame like the romance inside their friendship

Windows and doors – cracked open, closed off, indicating their closeness? Movement? Transformation?

and a list of phrases i wanted to use in the fic; and a list for each OC. aria’s original list was:

Likable pls

Great humor – maybe her and beth already have a good thing going before she asks rio out?

Never connected how well beth and rio knew each other bc they never show up to the coffee shop together

that first bullet point was very important to me hahaha, as ive talked about here, tho i wanna emphasize again that likeability is not that important.

from then on, i just started working on whichever scene idea sparked the most inspiration that day, kept adding onto different scenes until it started to come together a bit more, and then as i was working on the scenes i suddenly drew connections between them and could build the bigger story.

THEN i listened to hozier while the sun set in my apartment and i wrote the final scene in one go, which changed the ENTIRE fic. i initially wrote this fic as beth not being in love with rio yet, but with the final scene i realized -- nope, wait, actually i want the feeling to be mutual from the start, but they’re both just not gonna know and not talk about it and miscommunicate for chapters on end. this whole incident made me consider the emotional truths of the story instead of just the fluffy, rom-com-esque scene ideas i had, which forced me to do a lot of rewriting and planning and thinking that, as you can probably tell, i hadn’t done from the start. the start was just “omg big windows!!! floor pillows!!!! let’s go!!!!!”

the oh-i-should-consider-emotional-truth realization made me write with a lot more depth and throw in a bunch of reflections in different scenes. i went back to different scenes to look at: ok but how can i add some more... depth here? how can i show where beth’s at, here, in terms of headspace? bc initially it was just “haha, he sees her in panties and is AmazedTM” whereas now it’s also about...idk. friendship. communication. boundaries. the fear of being known, whatever.

im still in the process of writing this fic -- it terrifies me, but there’s a gap somewhere at the end of the fic where i need to justify something else ive written later in the fic -- so this isn’t start to finish, but here’s how it goes for me! there’s ofc also a very tedious editing phase for each chapter which is NOT my favorite part, lemme tell you.

the instigator had a pretty similar process, though warm water takes the cake bc it is not as “contained” as the instigator. the instigator had a clear prompt and then developed much like warm water -- it started out with a list of random lines/interactions/details/sex positions i wanted in the fic, then i made the infamous sex schedule, then i just started working on whichever position i felt like working on, and every now and then work on the prelude to the sex (which was, of course, the hardest, bc how does one get from point one to point threesome?) and the aftermath.

so yeah! that’s how i do! it has a hint of chaos, but i like it, bc i just go with what sparks the most for me in the moment, then figure out the connections later. sometimes that part of the process is less fun bc i don’t always know how to connect all the random writing i did, but once i do figure it out, it’s sooooo satisfying!

thank you for asking!!!!!! writer ask game

[linos-teeth]

[1/?] Hhhh sorry for disappearing for a week too it's been a (mentally, but i can sense the howework is coming for my ass soon) busy time ig?? God it went, idk, better than i expected but at the same time worse? Idk im just mostly alone all the time except when i can hang out with friends in the higher grade (we dont have the same schedule so it's rare) but in my class? Fuck, your boy got no one JDSVKS but i think i made a friend today but im not sure?

[2/?] We exchanged numbers and she was nice but she seems too cool,, for me,, idk how to act around new people anymore,, so yeah basically how my week went, alone in my sadness and already crying because of school lol so i feel you, i reallly want to just run away from responsibilities :) my new school is ugh idk, i’m not used to be this free with basically everything so it’s weird for me? Schedule’s kinda ok, ppl in my class are (for now) rather normal, teachers are ALL jdh BOR I N G– anyway!!

[3/?] It’s sad you’re not going to see your friend before next year, god :(( i hope you’ll get good friends at uni,,— and well not stress too much abt real life eiTHER and erm i cant offer advices or anything obviously but fuck yeah i’m (for the 373929th time, i’m sorry for ALWAYS repeating myself) here to listen :(((

[4/4, finally] + dont apologize abt not gif-fing (??) anymore, really, your mental health is way more important!! Take all the time you need to figure things out n all, and understand im not saying we dont care abt your gifs (i personnaly rlly like them!!), but its toTALLY OK AND UNDERSTANDABLE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF FIRST anyway i may have forgot things i wanted to say? But its getting rlly long so ill stop here but basically ily and wish u good luck with finding a place and all that stuff! 💕

HELLO FRIEND guess who disappeared for over a week i’m the one who’s sorry :// i feel you soso much wow my mind is just like.....dead i was away for 3 days this week to sort stuff out with the other uni in person like i had to hand in a document to receive another and bus connections are disgusting so i had to stay 2 nights but!!! it went well the counsellor was rly sweet (good bc i felt like i’d offended her when we were exchanging emails rip) and now i’ve got all my documents on the way and i just need them to arrive on time aka monday which is the deadline for applications aND THEN I’M GOOD TO GO!!! i also have a rly nice place to stay temporarily with a family and their baby randomly loves me and the guy and i share the same favorite football club so life‘s quite alright (just the wifi uh....kinda sucks so.........idk what that means for this blog yet)

bUT!!! i hope hw is treating u alright and school too! sucks that the ppl you get along with don’t share classes with you but i’m glad you have them still!! and the girl too i hope she’s still being good and i don’t have to beat anyone up bc wtf nonny i rly don’t think she’s too cool for u!! like coolness rly is subjective and maybe you’re her brand of cool! like i don’t think i’m cool but ppl say i am and i find ppl cool who think they aren’t you feel me?? but yeah anyway i hope that is going well ♥ i get the freedom part i cried sm when i started uni bc they don‘t rly tell you shit any more and me as someone who needs detailed instructions for everything i was like jhaskfjahskfjahskfas

also sue me but i think boring teachers are the best the fun ones usually turned out to be fake for me tbh bUT I DON’T WANNA BE NEGATIVE

but i don’t like the sound of the sad :/// are u feeling better?

bUT YEAH THE PLAN IS TO SHARE WITH U AND MY FOLLOWERS (even tho i don’t wanna rant too much without rly contributing to the community you know) except i’ve been kinda hating tumblr lately esp with birthday season i got some big blog crisis again (ha look at ur part 4......i failed u again sorry) BUT I’M RLY TRYING AND I GOT SOMEONE TO HIT ME WITH A LITERAL STICK WHEN I TALK SHIT ABT MY BLOG SO!! DW

but yeah i’ll try to reply quicker from now on!!! i hope you had a good week pls know that i love you and i’m sending you hugs always ♥♥♥

[elliot-orion]

Writing Update5/21/19

Word Count: 6876 total - 5671 for ATDADT and 1205 for the Empath

Favorite Line: “I already have those bragging rights, for one. You are far from the first Hero to stay in my bed. First one to stay the whole night though.” 

Update: Dusty is a player and a Bad BoyTM with one... okay five... okay maybe seven soft spots. Maybe a lot more, but like, listen... Basically, he looks like he could kill you, could actually kill you, but won’t because he’s really a cinnamon roll. (unless like, you hurt someone he loves in which case you are 100% going to be lit on fire)

Anyways, i haven’t had a 6000+ writing day in FOREVER and it feels SO GOOD to have another. god i missed this. It was productive too! today i finish the Empath! the ending sucks ass, but it’s an ending. I’m still not sure how and when i’ll post it. I mean, i know i will at some point and i know it’ll probably be dual here/wattpad, but like... if you want it nag me for it is what im saying bc otherwise i’ll keep putting it off forever. Same with wildfire. I need someone to nag me is what im saying here. Pleasssse. I also wrote a ton for ATDADT a novel this time (it’s actual document name, by the way), and it’s going really good and im really liking it and yea. It’s gunna need some work... a lot of work really... but i like it for now. It’ll need a rewrite for sure, but it’s really only draft one, since the shorts before were more of a vague outline for me than anything else. so yea. i’m still debating if i’ll put in the Sexy TimesTM, because Vincent is kinky and dont let him fool you into thinking he isn’t, and they do have lots of sexy times. BUT i also have it set up so i can not do that in this, and i might go that route... I’ll know its there tho... and like, im real not comfy writing that stuff really so it’d all be vagued at ANYWAYS, and the DHU is all pretty YA to NA rating, and that would turn this very heavily into R rated territory real quick, while the rest is all not adult lit stuff... you feel me? So yea, idk, i prob wont include it, but like. sexual sunday drabbles, all im saying. get ready yall. That’s about all i’ve got for now tho. yea. OH and i’ll do a last line tag right after this bc hoo boy its a funny one!!

[nebulaedaniel]

16.6.2018 - matinee experience

I met dan and phil and here’s how my whole day went

I woke up at 5:30 AM on Saturday morning. It would take me about 2 and a half hours to get to Stockholm, so i had to wake up early. My dad and i got in our car at 6:20 AM and started driving to the city nearby to be able to get on the train. I was really nervous so i didnt sleep in the car, even though i usually do.

We arrive in the city, eventually get on the train, and we’re officially on our way.

I was still really nervous so i decided to watch the video that they uploaded that previous day. I watched it and couldnt believe that i was going to meet them in just a few hours.

My dad and i arrived at around 9, and the venue was right outside the train station, so my dad wanted us to go there right away.

I thought we’d be the first ones there, but we werent! There was one more person there, and they had blue hair so ofc i was too intimidated to talk to them.

So we’re standing there, im furiously texting all my friends to tell them that im Actually freaking out. More people showed up and suddenly we were six people there.

Cabs are coming and going, and suddenly the people sitting on benches are reacting to one of the cars, but i didnt pay it any mind. But then everyone is lowkey screaming and panicking and i have no idea what’s happening, but then the blue haired person made eye contact with me and pointed behind me, so i turn around, and there they were? I didnt see them walk out of the car, but they were walking in and i. Started. Shaking. It was bad. I was writing to annie (@nuclear-clusterhug) and the gc i was in for ii, just yelling at all of them that i saw them!!

Just in case you were curious, they’re even gorgeous from the back.

So im standing there, i can barely speak and im pretty sure my dad was judging me but i really didnt care.

Eventually one of the people from the gc made it to the venue, and i finally had someone to freak out with.

I have no idea how long we stood there, maybe half an hour, the two other people showed up aswell, and now we were a little group just huddled together and waiting to be let inside.

Eventually they opened. We walked in. We got wristbands and i got the number 38, not that it mattered, but it did to me.

We went in, my friend and i were both freaking out. Eventually we went upstairs, we stood in line, and every minute felt like days. Their manager eventually explained what was going to happen, and then, a few minutes later, they arrived. They went up the stairs and dan looked so excited, i didnt hear a word what they said, but i filmed it and i have it.

They went back behind the screen and the first person goes in. We wait in line for maybe 20 minutes, although it felt like 5, and then. Its. Our. Turn.

My friend goes first and i film for her. We turn the corner and there they are. I see phil first and my god is he beautiful. My friend goes to hug them and i stand off to the side to film them and just look at them for 30 whole seconds. I have it all filmed and i cant believe it.

Then. Its my turn. And. I. Freeze. I dont say ANYTHING im so freaked out. I go to hug phil first and i just remember it being soft, then i hug dan and he was even softer like fuck his jumper was so soft.

Phil asks if i want anything signed, i hand over my book and they have it signed in 5 seconds.

But this. This moment is what will stick with me forever. I had written in my book “what’s your favorite thing about sweden” and dan wrote (it was dan, i watched the video of me meeting them like 20 times and dan. Wrote. It.) “you!”

You!

He wrote. “you!”

Im not. Okay.

Okay. So. Yes. That happend. Its in my book forever.

Phil then asked if i wanted a selfie.

Can i just say that phils voice is the softest thing ever when meeting fans, remember when phil was talking to the corgi in the dog video? And he said “do you like your hoodie?”? That kind of soft.

Anyway, so we took the selfie, phil was just like hiding behind me?? Cute

Dan did two poses and i was so overwhelmed i saw his dimples just a few decimeters away from me?? Unreal

I then left, almost forgot my book so that was fun.

We got our tote bags and then we left the venue

We sat outside for maybe 40 minutes, just internalizing that it happened. We had met them.

I eventually went to eat, then i got messages from natalie (@fanpurple) and she asked me where i was, so i hurried off to go to her

I got in line, and suddenly i was inside again.

Then, i met natalie. She was the smallest little person and she was so cute! She seemed so excited and that made me even more excited because oh my god! I met dnp and now i met my amazing friend?? I was so happy

We went to the official waiting area and got in line for the merch, and while we were waiting she was asking me all about how it was to meet them and i was more than happy to tell her EVERYTHING.

I got my stuff (poster, cap, hoodie) and we walked off to sit down, i showed natalie everything that i had gotten in the tote bag, and she went through my tabinof. While she was reading i was just sitting there, so happy that everything was going so well. It was the first time since… I dont know when, that i didnt have a single bad thought on my mind, you have no idea how amazing that felt.

Im not going to talk too much about the show, since this is already so long, but i do want to say that i was on the first row and phil kept walking and he was just a few meters away from me.

I must also say that videos do not do them justice, they’re 100 times more handsome in real life. i might have actually died from how fucking hoT phil is

The show goes on, im laughing im screaming im clapping, and i was just having a gooood timeeee.

One thing that i HAVE to mention tho, is the truth bombs thing.

One of the questions was “what would a documentary about their lives be called?” and as i was watching them i was just thinking like hmm i wonder what i wrote for that thing?

They start putting up things on screen.

“how my stalker became my best friend”

“why are we even doing this?” (or smt similar to that)

Then. The last one. Was. Mine.

“two dudes sittin on a sofa”

WHAT??? DID THAT HAPPENED?? yes. Yes it did. They didnt choose mine but i really dont fucking care because mine was up there. Phil said my name.

Natalie got to answer the question about what was in the box, she said butterfly, so adorable

There’s alot more. Like alot more. Ive written down everything on a document in my phone. But that were the highlights from the show.

i got home at 11pm, and the next day i was so sore from walking around and wearing my heavy backpack for a whole day, but that really doesnt matter, im too happy, im still too happy its been three days and im still soooo happyyy

thanks for reading, if anyone did

[spockandawe]

So you’ve heard Spock is the actual literal devil

Have you heard that I’m a terrible person? A plagiarist? Have you been told that I’m only into transformers at all because I wanted to make this one random guy unhappy? If you’ve been told that, you’ve probably also been told that a year and a half later, I’m still making fanworks just to upset him. You might have even heard that shhhh, don’t disagree with Spock on anything, or they’ll hunt you down and harass you.

Right, okay. This is one hell of a saga that I will attempt to tell in as compressed a form as possible. It’s a lot. Years ago, back in HS, there was this one guy who policed the hell out of one of the character tags. I’m going to call him C. He’d pressure people not to make the content they were making, decry the hateful people reading with a malicious eye who thought the character would ever do anything bad (the character was a creep). And because being obnoxious wasn’t bad enough, if you didn’t cave to his demands, he just might do things like start whisper campaigns about how you support rape, casually out you as a survivor, cute little things like that.

This is not a story about that guy.

This is a story about C’s one-time attack dog, eventual boyfriend, and current ex. We’ll go ahead and call him R. I’ve tried real hard to avoid namedropping on my blog before, but could people find him from this? Probably. Have I stopped caring? Absolutely.

TL;DR, unsubstantiated accusations of serial harassment are a little questionable when they’re coming from someone with a years-long, extensively documented history of serial harassment and a personal grudge against me.

Cut for length.

Edit 7/2/2017: R has posted that he regrets making these posts about me, and admits that he said things that were out of line. And he’s stated that he’s going to try to do better in the future. I genuinely, truly appreciate that. I’m leaving this post up because there have been lies about me floating around for a while and I reserve the right to defend myself, but I really do appreciate that.

Oh balls, none of this makes sense without backstory (I’m so sorry)

If you think I suck or my work sucks, that’s fine! You do you, go enjoy the things that make you happy.

If you think I’m the devil because this one guy told you about my evil, evil past and all my terrible misdeeds, without anything at all to back up his words? You can ask me. I don’t bite, and oh lordy do I have receipts.

To be clear, R is totally allowed to hate me! I don't care. I don't care if he hates my writing, I don't care if he hates me as a person. But now he's escalated to spreading lies about me, and people are believing him, and I’m not enough of a doormat to let that just stand.

And I’m going to cheat a little. Here’s a memo with the cliffs notes version (not the original memo, I made a copy with C’s urls cropped out since he hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while). Warning, digging any distance into this turns up violent fantasies, violent sexual fantasies, creepy interactions with a minor, and lots more, it’s all really, really unpleasant. Evidence is thoroughly documented, please tread with care.

You would not believe how truncated that is compared to the reality.

Now, the worst of this came via C. Who has calmed down a lot these days, and I’m really happy that’s the case. Good for him. I hope his life continues in a direction where he doesn’t find it necessary to do this stuff.

Lucky for me, R was standing by to pick up the slack.

It doesn’t show up as much in the memo, which is mostly C-focused, but R was standing by C this whole time, defending his right to spread around private information about someone’s abuse history, sending nasty messages on the other guy’s behalf, and much,much more. it’s long, it’s awful, it’s unpleasant. R personally hurt people in some significant ways that I don’t want to link directly, for their sake. He expressed deep remorse a few times, but it never stuck.

Here’s my personal favorite quote from R. He’s speaking to the CSA survivor that C casually outed (with information given to him in confidence), and who they’d been running a long, long whisper campaign against, and who was understandably a bit upset over the whole thing:

oh go wank to your own tears [name]

#and get your sympathizers to help #nasty fucking people #maybe if you cry enough youll be able to go into second grade in the fall #ooc

Said, again, to a CSA survivor they outed and harassed. That person is such a sweetheart, and this screencap still infuriates me.

The first time I saw C pick a fight he had lots of friends. Shockingly, as he did things like loudly fantasize about how he wants to mutilate people and rant about how autistic people should die, those friends mostly drifted away. I know one person had a friend even help them stage a faux relationship-ending fight, so they could be sure they’d be able to completely cut and run from C. R stuck with him, though. Eventually they even started dating.

‘Spock followed R into transformers to harass him and stalks his favorite characters just to harass him more’

Then, transformers. Here, let me show you the first post (by R) that ever brought MTMTE to my attention. I spent years being aggressively uninterested in transformers, but this caught my eye

and honestly, ppl (adults too!!!) shipping someone who has the mentality of a child and is quite glaringly lacking a world of experiences and general understanding of things outside of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, with an adult, is just. very alarming and gross to me.

and honestly, the fact that there is a large portion of people who want him to become romantically (and sexually!!!) involved with either one of two fucking adults in canon, and hell, esp those defending it with ‘hes an adult too tho!!’ is really gross.

you can pretend all you want that hes ‘an adult’ because his body is, but theres no way jro didnt intent to code him as a child. stop fetishizing children lmao,

#pedophilia -/-/- #cygate -/-/- #if someone comes at me screaming ‘rule 38′ im gonna shove them in a locker

I didn’t know transformers, but I was pretty sure this was some straight-up bullshit.

(but don’t worry, he ships it now! no hypocrisy here, no sir)

It’s “really gross” to ship this adult with other adults. Mm. Given the reasonableness of the claims these guys have made in the past, and given their extensive history of harassing people over those claims, I hopped to the wiki to check it out. I read a bit about the comic and the plot, and all of it sounded so fascinating that I just had to give the comic a try.

Reader, I married it.

I shotgunned MTMTE 1-47 in two days, started doing fanworks right out of the gate, and I’ve never looked back. A lot of my art was cygate, because come on, the comic wants you to ship it so bad, my first readthrough ended with issue 47, and that was the first ship I’d ever read about for the series, even before I dove in.

Now, both these characters punch me right in the heart, in some painfully personal ways. Tailgate’s the more relevant one here, but I don’t even know if I could do justice to the emotions both of them give me.

I’m still not a fan of how R’s lies about me have edged me into needing to say this in public, but okay. I’m developmentally delayed. It’s been a rough ride. And Tailgate hits me in some of those spots so hard it just takes my breath away. I’ve got a lot of baggage over not being a real adult, and not in the funny oh-no-how-do-taxes-work way, more like an extended months-long meltdown my first year of college because I can tell that my friends are years ahead of me and I don’t know how to even start catching up, and just existing, as myself, is humiliating.

All of my relationship milestones have come painfully, painfully late. The whole thing is still one awful emotional bruise. I hate it, and I hate how easy it is to convince myself that yeah, of course you don’t actually deserve to be treated as an adult and you never will. Just look at you. So then it is unbelievably important to me that I can see someone someone who is like me, being treated as a legitimate adult, and being able to have an adult relationship.

Hearing that shipping someone like me is essentially pedophilia is the opposite of that.

But he ships it now, so everything is fine :)

Yeah, you know what? Another fucking receipt.

uGHGH im so tired of all the rabid cy// /gat// //e fans like even cy’s giving em a look like ‘leave my fucking child alone’

#i just #im hoping jro has some taste tho and doesnt make an adult date a child #and if not im hoping the outcome blows over soon bc im so tired of seeing people defend pedophilia #pedophilia -/-/-

Parental.

This continued even after JRO explicitly confirmed Tailgate was an adult.

Bonus ableism: shipping Whirl (another character who hits me way too hard) isn’t okay either. Even though there isn’t the excuse of ‘but he only lived three years--’ No, at that point, you’re saying that an adult who fails to adult correctly does not count, and isn’t allowed to have romantic relationships. It makes my skin crawl, and it is an issue which is very personally and directly important to me.

So some of my cygate was porn from the start (it’s what I write. it’s what I draw.), and some of the porn was made because I was upset over discourse that says someone like me needs to be treated as a child. I played with cywhirlgate too, because omg how could I not, and some of that was porn as well. It was ages ago, so I don’t remember the details for every little thing I made. But when I saw someone saying that Cyclonus and Tailgate had a parental relationship, I’m sure that helped nudge me in that direction. Maybe R thinks I should have channeled my emotions by starting a whisper campaign to exclude him from fandom spaces. But I think my way of working through bad emotions might have been a little healthier than that.

So when R accuses me of making cygate content to spite him? Half true. Just true enough to be real fucking dishonest. R spent a nice long time insisting that cygate was pedophilia. I channeled my outrage over that ableism into fan creations.

I didn’t attack him. I talked about him some – on a private forum, with people who’d already been aware of him and had been watching him and C hurt people for years, plural. I haven’t told people on tumblr any real details about him until now. And R still is happy to talk about how it was his toxic ex’s right to post torture/rape/murder porn vent fic about actual people.

Tell me, how exactly am I in the wrong?

Bonus pettiness: I posted some cywhirlgate porn. The next day, R vaguely whined about robot pedophilia and turned around and wrote some obviously-a-response cywhirlgate. Where it was super platonic and the text explicitly said it was super platonic and it even had platonic thigh nuzzling. With two “children” involved. Of course I turned around and wrote more fic of my own, because jesus h christ that made my skin crawl. You want to play this game? I guarantee I can write faster than you, let’s do this. (he did not follow through on that)

I’d also like to say that forgetting inconvenient little details like this is a thing with R. Hard to call me terrible for writing spitefic when you write it yourself.

A history of Spock’s personal involvement

Let’s backtrack a tiny bit. You may notice I am up to my elbows in this nonsense for no clear reason.

I was friends with some of the people C was taking shots at, and I was unfortunate enough to believe his original smear campaign about that one artist (I’m still ashamed about that). I cared about a number of people C was trying to hurt. I think one or two fanworks of mine upset him, but he already had loads of targets. I kept tabs on him and R, because anxiety is the gift that just keeps giving.

Eventually, C fantasized about wanting to put my former datemate’s hand through a meat grinder (ey wrote a fic that portrayed his fave in a negative light). And R defended his right to do that.

The person he posted about is still feeling the effects of that incident. I’m still feeling the effects of that. And it wasn’t even directed at me, just someone I care deeply about.

R has recently posted that ‘oh my goodness, C sure was awful, remember when he posted this thing about a meat grinder and how unreasonable it was?’ Thanks buddy, glad you noticed, now just go ahead and keep on blaming me for the aftereffects of what your boyfriend did, and what you defended.

After that, it was months before I could properly look away from either of their blogs.

C posted extensively about trying to track down the street address of his ~enemies~ (including the one whose genitals he fantasized about mutilating). He posted about how autistics should die. He had skype chats about wanting to do amateur brain surgery on people. All while posting very often about finding real addresses.

Yeah, it’s more than a year later, and every so often I get a stab of anxiety and have to head off to double check on what these two are up to.

I will repeat that C has been pretty chill lately. He’s got a career he’s aiming for. Good for him, go find success, please don’t slip back into being an internet bully. It’s sad and upsetting to see R echoing some of the early patterns of his ex, and it’s so strange to see me labeled as his own personal enemy.

‘Spock will totally come harass you too’ and/or various accusations of ableism

So there are some things I did in the mix in this history that I regret. Occasionally, I went out and flipped through the blogs of C and R’s friends, seeing if maybe they’d had said something in their notes, did they have any vagueblogs C liked, did they post about— It got unreasonable. I admit that. Anxiety was at the root of it, but it absolutely got unreasonable. And also it is a massive time sink, and I can’t remember the last time I bothered with it. I enjoy life much more when anxiety and paranoia issues don’t have their claws in me. This hasn’t been an issue in a very long time.

I came down hard on some of the kinfeels and system stuff too, which I do walk back a bit. C’s approach was… hahaha. It was something. And he was my intro to the kin and system paradigms. I saw R talking about C’s approach being unreasonable too, pretty recently. So that was an unfortunate bit of poison in how I processed the next people I met who did that sort of thing. I don’t do kin stuff, but I get it. And DID may not strictly apply to all systems, by the formal diagnostic criteria, but I’ve learned there are plenty of other dissociative disorders out there. And I met people who were multiples and who did kin things that weren’t these two guys. Which helped a LOT.

But the big one, hmmm. C wrote a fic. The idea was interesting, but the execution frustrated me. Everyone but the main lead felt so… flat. Everyone was constantly cruel to the main, for no reason. I saw a way to riff on the original text while staying true to its shape, and writing my bad emotions out is also a major, major thing I do to cope. Now, my big thing is that I should have asked before I remixed. I’d been thinking in terms of, y’know, transformative fanworks. Even with authors like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice, who fought against fandom, people have still felt that it should be allowed, even against their wishes. So I wrote the remix. I gave full credit on ao3 in the ‘inspired by’ box, linked to the original with positive words, the whole shebang.

The guy was still furious, and… that’s fair. I thought I’d written a thing on self-sabotage that was pretty sympathetic and compelling, and the self-sabotage actually drew a lot on my own personal history. But I gave the main flaws he strongly disagreed with, and I didn’t ask for permission. I get why he was/is angry over it.

I’ve been a fixture on their shitlists ever since :P

It’s remarkable, even while R posts now about ‘oh my god, remember how C wrote the creepiest things?’, I’m still the one who’s the the actual worst, for being skeeved out by the creepy things and finding a constructive way to deal with it. R’s controlling ex gets full freedom when it comes to vent fic, even when it’s about wallowing in torturing, raping, and murdering an avatar for a real person (the original one they harassed!), or punching someone in the face until they agree to be your friend (another artist these guys targeted). But R’s position seems to be that only C is allowed to vent (even if it’s genital mutilation fantasies), and I’m definitely not.

Oh, and R has now expanded this remix into me totally having a consistent pattern of stealing ideas and plagiarism and so many remixes that are obviously done as revenge on anyone who pisses me off. So that’s nice.

So R hates your writing. Is that seriously why this post exists?

Ha, no. Let’s look at the concrete things R is saying. Here, let me post a little sampling of evidence.

These aren’t just things he’s shouting into the void, people have responded saying wow, I never knew that! These are lies that people are believing about me. And then yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to disagree with my meta, or I’d come harass them. A friend I’m aggressively leaving out of this, just as I’m leaving out other responses, because these people don’t deserve to be dragged into R’s bullshit.

Let’s have bullet points. Some of these are the silly spock-is-bad-at-writing complaints. Those are here because this whole mess is pretty fucking depressing and the ridiculous claims make me laugh, but these are all things he says.

Spock is evil – You know what, he’s not calling people pedophiles, which is a step up. I’ll take it.

Spock is a plagiarist – I remixed one fic with full credit, said only good things about the original, and linked to it in extra places so that people would have extra opportunities to click through and check it out. I arguably remixed inappropriately, but that’s not the same thing. Words have definitions. If I’m a plagiarist, so is everyone who’s ever written a fanfic.

Spock is something something mean when people disagree – I don’t even know, man. I’m actually shockingly conflict-averse. Is this because I make walls of text and explain why I hold opinions at great length? I enjoy talking about a thing I love. I’m autistic, I’m hyperverbal, and this is my special interest, so is it that I talk a lot? That’s the best I can do. I’ve talked about things I disagree with on a private forum, in which case mister pot has had a lot of fun in public on twitter, not only talking shit, but also spreading outright untruths. Maybe he wants to rethink this one.

Spock will come harass you if you disagree – You need to back the heck down, pal.

Spock’s meta/fic/characterization is bad and they should feel bad – Hahaha, fite me. He won’t, because I can articulately defend myself at significant length, and his criticisms seem to stop at ‘spock sucks’, but hey.

Spock used ableist language about Whirl - I... what? This one confuses me and makes me laugh so it stays here. Also, holy double standards, batman.

Spock is only into transformers to harass R – I checked out transformers because I was pretty sure R was being disgustingly ableist (he was). I stayed in transformers because I adore it. I had to adore it a lot to make me willing to share fandom space with these two. My god, I have better things to do with my life than spend all my time on something that bores me just to annoy one asshole on the other side of the internet. I’d ask if he thinks I spent dozens of painstaking hours cross-stitching Starscream just to bother him, but….. yep, pretty sure he does.

Spock goes after all of R’s favorite characters to upset him – R latches on to just about every interesting and/or sympathetic character that shows up. When he was dating C, they covered most of the cast between them. I don’t care who R likes best because I don’t agree with his opinions. I tend to stay away from his opinions because I don’t like reading things that bother me. This is asnine. I’m only allowed to like the characters R despises, I guess.

Spock makes fanworks for things R likes just to make him see them – Oh my god, I don’t caaaaaare. I write about things that interest me, unless I’m venting. Say, venting about the way R and his ex have deliberately hurt a shockingly high number of people I care about. ‘Spock made rodistar because I liked it--’ I made it because I wrote a thing about their parallels, and shipping was the obvious next step. R isn’t that important to me. Promise.

This is just exhausting, man. The anxiety bugs had been dying down, and it had been ages since I checked out this guy’s anything. C, who drove the whole initial blowup that led to this, has been quiet and chill on tumblr. But R has learned from his ex’s old example and has been having fun spreading lies about me.

In conclusion

Some fun history.

R was 18 when he told a CSA survivor upset about being outed and harassed to wank using their tears for lube.

He was older than that when he defended C’s right to post about wanting to mutilate someone’s genitals (for the crime of saying C’s logic didn’t make sense).

He was older than that when he complained about that person’s spouse being ‘vicious’ for reacting badly to C’s genital mutilation fantasy.

He was older than that when he nodded along as C called autistic people retards and said they should die.

He was older than that when he talked about being happy that someone he disliked was triggered, and nodded along when C fantasized about that person drinking bleach.

And he was older than that when he defended C, his twenty-something boyfriend, against the thirteen-year-old that C had been having incredibly inappropriate conversations with, despite skype log proof and everything.

And despite all this, I’m still the bad guy, because I didn’t think what they were doing was okay. I’m the bad guy for being upset by C's actions, even though... R is now upset by C’s actions. The ways I responded to C were inexcusable. My only motivation is to hurt people. Every thing I did that ever upset them still means I’m terrible, even though R is saying this while he’s busy posting about how awful C is. And this all means that he needs to warn his friends not to catch my attention, or I’ll come harass them.

So, I’m tired.

I’m very tired.

I’m glad he’s trying to grow past that history. Good. Maybe he can do that without making up a story about how I’m unrepentant villain who lives for villainy and who only takes joy in causing him pain. I’m sure it helps him, because it’s a story that brushes aside the shit he did that he regrets, and makes his past less painful to think about. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with him telling lies about me.

I don’t know why I’m the one boogeyman he has left (I kid, it’s because I’m in transformers, and because he thinks I’m popular. he harps on it a lot, and it’s weird for everyone). I mean, whatever. I’ve aggressively avoided publishing drama details on here for a very long time. But there are two blog tags, miscellaneous other untagged blog content, three forum threads, and hundreds of pages of skype logs with hard evidence of this bullshit.

I’m pretty sure that if he tries to defend himself, one, he’ll place some blame on his ex. That’s fair. C was pretty darn controlling and demanding. But R is still absolutely responsible for his own actions, and is especially responsible for the harm he personally caused. He’ll talk about how it’s bullshit to pull up all these receipts from so very long ago. In that case, his receipts for me (whatever he even has) are equally old, so aren’t they null and void? No, because Spock is the devil. And it’s not so much bullshit if he’s clearly learned nothing, and has gone back to spreading outright falsehoods about people.

To be clear, a lot of the lies he told about me were told a while back. Weeks to a few months to a year. I was letting it sit, because I’d really, really hoped this was over. Yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to publicly disagree with my meta or I’d come and harass them.

It’s been three years since I first saw him doing this. I’ve watched him hurt a lot of people, and I’ve watched him admit, multiple times, that he has hurt people. I thought he’d learned to stop following these toxic patterns. Apparently he has not.

Edit 7/2/2017: To repeat the edit up above, R has said he regrets posting these things about me, and that he's going to try to avoid slipping into this in the future. I very much appreciate that.

[mistake-memessenger]

Hey,could you please write a HC about what the RFA+V+Saeran would do for MC'S birthday? I looooove your writing,thanks a lot :)

sorry i took so long!! hope u enjoy!!!! AND TO ANYONE WHO’S BIRTHDAY IT IS (or even isn’t) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Zen

-he makes a Day of it-three bouquets throughout the day-one is straight up just red roses-the other two are a lovely bouquet of seasonal flowers depending on MC’s birth date and a bouquet of MC’s favorite flower(s)-each bouquet has the same amount of flowers, all depending on how old MC is turning!! (though he caps it at 30….. bc he knows what’s good for his health and his wallet haha)-tbh Zen has thought A LOT about this (and all the holidays etc, he’s wanted to do this kind of thing for his SO since before even meeting MC that first time in the chatroom……. like….. remember the Christmas DLC? yeah.. he wants this to be a very special occasion. he literally has fantasized about this)-he takes MC out for breakfast at a local family diner and the staff sings “Happy Birthday”/variant birthday song and it emBARRASSES MC to no end-y this hyun-and they go out for a movie after breakfast, whatever one MC wants to see-the movie theatre is mostly empty and it’s.. really nice…….-Zen and MC wander around town, window shopping (maybe actually shopping), and do food cart foods for lunch!!-he knows where all the best ones are and he’s so excited to show them to MC-it’s so cute he’s so cute!!-next up!!-motorcycle ride!!!!-he rly gets a kick out of MC clinging to him while they ride haha-Zen takes MC to a place with a great view, possibly his spot in the mountains if there’s time-they manage to stop on the way home to watch the sunset-it’s beautiful-selfies r taken and subsequently posted to the chatroom-Zen gets out some light snacks when they finally get home, and sets about making dinner (it’s curry, that’s his best dish)-he planned this whole day out-for MC-and has just…… been v affectionate all day, physically and vocally-he loves them-so, so much-more than he can truly express-and he’s so glad that he gets to spend their birthday with them-even if the day hadn’t gone to plan… he would have been happy just being near MC

Yoosung

-yo listen……. Yoosung throws a party. he invites the RFA..-but like. okay.-it’s not just like….. a party at home-nah-Yoosung springs for a party at a bowling alley with an arcade and open bar-things get drinky-Yoosung gets drinky-he’s been so nervous about this all day he just wants to impress and please MC omg so precious fuck-this boy can’t do shots though-so he’s had like two cocktails in the last 20 minutes he is tipsy-like….. cocktails have a p high alcohol content, my children……. but u can hardly taste it-Yoosung wants to down these like juice, ‘cause that’s what it tastes like “MC just lemme have one more please i promise im not even drunk MC”-“yoosung pls.”-he’s so clingy…. just wants to hold MC forever, even just their hand!!-and if MC isn’t in his immediate vicinity he is hanging off of one of the others (usually Zen)-there is definitely. 4 sure.-drunk bowling-Jumin Han, not nearly as tipsy as anyone else, requires gutter shields-Zen will neeeever let him live that down-Jaehee wins every round she plays-she brought her own bowling ball-after a couple games the group splits up and Yoosung, MC, and Seven go to the arcade, which is on its own floor of the building-there are plans to regroup back downstairs for junk food and cake later-but first.. arcade!!!-Seven heads straight for the racing games-while Yoosung and MC take their time wandering around trying different things while Yoosung is sobering back up-they play giant Connect Four-and a couple crane games-there’s a giant Fruit Ninja (Yoosung gets the new high score)-they get into one of the two player booth games and it’s a horror/suspense game-Yoosung is terrified.. and clingy-MC is maybe not……. as scared.. haha-Seven takes video-there’s a lot of screaming (some of it is Seven actually….)-all three go play skeeball together-they’ve been racking up tickets this whole time-maybe not enough for anything rly fancy like the PS4?????? that’s on display???-but….. Yoosung and MC pool their tickets and manage to get a dragon plushie (it’s beautiful, like opal colors and ice blue horns and shit)-they use the leftover tickets on candy-they name the dragon-it’s their child now-they introduce the dragon plush to everybody back downstairs as such-“This is our child, Iseul, and we love them dearly.”-“they’re scaly and breathe fire, but they’re beautiful and we love them. Our lovely Iseul~”-“I thought we agreed on ice powers??”-“fire is classic, tho!!”-“…….u have a point..”-“oh!! oh!!! both???”-“both!!!”

Jaehee

-they take a couple days off and go to the beach together-the hotel has an indoor pool and hot tub-so there can be swimming and chilling in the water no matter the time of year MC’s birthday is!!-they go out early in the morning at low tide to comb the beach for shells-so many sand dollars!!!-they saw some rly big starfish in the tide pools it was awesome!!!!-since they’re staying in a lil touristy beach town they have breakfast in a local café-one that’s got like lace curtains and all the tables are only big enough for two people-a cutesy cozy place!!-after breakfast MC gets a FaceTime call from Zen and he sings them Happy Birthday what a dork-MC and Jaehee are crying wth y is he so sweet???-Zen is flustered at the crying and promises to do this same thing for Jaehee for her birthday too!!-more crying-Zen is freaking out whY ARE U CRYING PLS DONT IM SORRY IM SOR—-aaaaand he accidentally hung up-cue both MC and Jaehee receiving frantic apology texts from Zen-they don’t reply fast enough??-Zen has already promised VIP tickets to his next show to apologize for making his two biggest fans cry-omg zen calm down they were happy tears-aaanyway MC and Jaehee do a bunch of wandering around the kitschy tourist shops and spots-holding hands and occasionally smooching-they take a bunch of photos and selfies to document the trip-they go to the local seafood restaurant for dinner and take a slice of cake each back to the hotel for dessert-Jaehee and MC enjoy some quiet time in the hotel together, snuggled up on the bed reading separate books-and then they start getting handsy-it’s kind of become a competition-how high up the thigh before u react type of chicken-except they both win bc…… it leads to sexy fun times??-anyway it is a good time!!! at the beach!!!!-HAPPY BIRTHDAY MC

Jumin

-he promises that they’ll do whatever MC wants to do for their birthday (within reason)-they choose an amusement park date-Jumin does some research and ends up flying the two of them to Disneyland-in France-JUMIN HAN WTF-I mean……. they def discussed this trip before it happened but like..-jumin is kind of extra i love him-he wears a suit the first day in Didneylan-MC is not surprised, but also…… “Jumin we’re getting u comfy clothes for this”-he gets-jeans!!-and a couple Disney shirts bc they’re everywhere-he and MC get matching shirts-it’s too cute-Jumin tries to take selfies but they are all blurry af-he keeps them and posts them to the chatroom anyway-MC thinks it’s rly precious and takes much better selfies (but only posts the shitty ones, partly for solidarity but also bc Jumin thinks it’s funny too)-also Jumin calls Yoosung every day bc he is pet- and penthouse-sitting for them-FaceTime with Elizabeth the 3rd-she cries over the phone-she recognizes her humans omg-oh my god Jumin takes MC to a fancy restaurant while they’re both still wearing their Disneyland clothes-they almost get turned away from their own reservation because the place has a dress code-but MC’s partner is Jumin Han-they get in-surrounded by other people all in their fanciest dinner clothes, Jumin Han is wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat(“a classic! a tradition, even!!” MC had insisted), a shirt with the Aristocats on it, jeans, and sneakers, and MC is dressed p similarly as they eat-it’s beautiful-MC takes photos and videos for the chatroom this is the best goddamn thing Happy Birthday to Me-Jumin is glad that MC is enjoying their birthday trip so much

Seven

-it starts at midnight-tHIS-MOTHERFUCKER-POUNCES ON MC AT MIDNIGHT-“MC!! MC!!! It’s ur birthday!!!!!! Happy birthday!!!”-“I WAS ASLEEP U ASS”-Seven is shoved onto the floor-no mercy-he’s laughing tho-and pouting and whining playfully-“but it’s your birfday and i luv u”-MC leans over the side of the bed to squint at him-“love me in the morning when im a human again”-MC bundles back up in the blankets, they become a blankety burrito-dramatic GASP from Seven-“my SO is an alien” v soft tone, full of wonder-he crawls back into the bed and flops onto and embraces the burrito MC (“ugh, be gentle, Saeyoung omg” “aaaaa sorry sorry I’ll be gentle I promise! im the gentlest boy!!”)-“the love of my life lived among the stars….. in a SPACESHIP!!”-“pls sleep Saeyoung…….”-but he just keeps going and it’s less MC Is An Alien, and more….-“MC did u know? that statistically you r a miracle?”-MC turns their head “…..yeah?”-Seven’s eyes are wide and earnest and his tone has gone from jokingly in awe to genuinely so-“yeah!!” he snuggles up nice n close “like,, even just genetically ,, , you exist because certain events led your parents to each other and if any one little thing had gone differently….. you wouldn’t be here.. and it’s the same for them! Their parents and their parents’ parents!!-"the chances of you being here in this moment are so astronomically low!! but ur here!!! u exist here and now and I–”-he stops for a moment, just.. overwhelmed with his feelings-“and im so glad that you exist, MC”-he sounds out of breath like the thought knocked it out of him-“im so so glad you’re here.. i love you”-he presses his forehead to the space between MC’s neck and shoulder, nose pressed against their skin -his nose might be a lil cold-but his breath is warm-“happy birthday, MC”

Saeran

-he does not want to go out-he’d rather stay in to celebrate-but-okay. three words-ice cream cake-the goal here for Saeran is to get one-to just… experience it-but also for MC’s birthday-there’s a conversation that goes something like:-“MC, can we just stay in? nothin fancy?”-and MC shrugs “sure. that actually sounds p nice……. although…….”-Saeran is suspicious “although what?”-“I kind of want…… ice cream cake?”-and just. he stops-he stops???-“that’s a thing?????”-MC goes for a dramatic look and answer-“that is a thing”-“y didn’t I know about this what the hell yOURE GETTING ICE CREAM CAKE FOR UR BIRTHDAY MC”-and he is on his way OUT THE DOOR-MC shouting after him “U CANT FOOL ME SAERAN!!!! I KNOW U WANT THE CAKE FOR YOU!!!!”-and i mean-he’s not gonna deny it-he is gone for three hours-comes back home with two ice cream cakes bc he couldn’t decide between the funfetti one or the chocolate one-MC is a lil exasperated, but indulgent bc hey ice cream cake for days!!-as long as they moderate themselves-they otherwise stay in and Saeran surprises MC with a lil necklace with a skull charm and a heart charm-Saeran with a shrug about the charms: “the skull is me and heart is you”-“r u sure tho”-“shut up MC”-a blushing Saeran……… what nice gift

V

-they start with a lazy morning in bed-cuddling-sloppy kisses-soft touches and messy hair-intermittently falling back to sleep-eventually they get out of bed and get ready for the rest of the day-breakfast at noon-pancakes and eggs and bacon and sausage and warm flaky biscuits and coffee-after breakfast V presents MC with what appears to be a scrapbook-he kisses the side of their head with a happy little “happy birthday, sweetheart” while handing the gift over-it IS a scrapbook-it’s full of photos starting from MC’s first time working with the RFA on the party, and over the next few years up until this point-it’s……. a journey through their life together-their friendship, their love, their relationships with their friends-there are notes scrawled all over every page in every free space between photos-notes from their friends-little stories giving context to the photos-a few little doodles and well-wishes-it honestly makes MC tear up-it just….. feels so warm

[nardaviel]

tell us about kinatsuen

x

:DDD ty anon! sorry for the delay

1. Who texts more often?

en but they’re usually just weird things he’s thinking about at the time. atsushi texts most often with information or questions that are relevant to their lives. kin-chan rarely initiates texting although he’ll respond if someone else texts him

2. Who is better with kids?

atsushi!! en likes them but they’re exhausting and kin-chan often doesn’t know how to deal with them

3. Who tops/bottoms?

en tops. kin-chan bottoms. atsushi is a switch. sometimes en or kinshirou will do the opposite role but tbh not often

4. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

they all get ice cream in a cup. atsushi thinks cones are nice but more trouble than they’re worth, en just thinks they’re a pain especially if you eat slowly, and kin-chan thinks it’s gross how sometimes the ice cream melts over your hand. i think atsushi would adore ice cream with chili in it but i don’t think they have things like that in japan (am i wrong though????? idk) so instead he gets chocolate, or any unusual flavors if they sound interesting. en likes vanilla ice cream with weird toppings, especially manjuu if thats an option like in the game :D kinchan likes green tea ice cream. it doesnt taste like green tea but he still thinks it tastes good

5. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

i dont think they go out on specially designated dates very often. for special occasions maybe like kinchans birthday. he probably wants to go to a fancy restaurant for his birthday dates so those are full of en feeling kind of uncomfortable and out of place, until kinchan catches on and starts getting them private rooms so en doesnt feel judged. … they go out sometimes to do stuff i think? and those are de facto dates even though they werent planned that way, like.. they act cute and in love bc theyre too in love to do otherwise

6. Do they stargaze? Expand.

WHAT A QUESTION

yes, they go stargazing. but en falls asleep quickly tbh and sometimes he cba to go at all so often its just kinatsu. when its kinatsu, it is sickeningly sweet. i still think that atsushi is the one whos really into astronomy and kinchan just enjoys spending time with atsushi in a romantic setting. there is lots of cuddling. …when en is there, though, he like .. makes up new constellations and speculates about the mysteries of space, &c &c. so its not as tooth-rotting but everyone still has a good time

7. Who’s the laziest?

hmmmmmmmmm…

8. Who complains more?

en tbh but kinchan has his moments as well

9. Who wakes up earlier?

kinchan! atsushi wakes up early too but not kinchan-level early. en .. yeah

10. What do they smell when they smell amortentia?

en: fresh laundry (= clean sheets), the smell of something sweet baking, kin-chan’s soap lololatsushi: curry, green tea bc he associates it with kin-chan, that kind of autumny smell u know when the leaves are falling and its starting to get coolkin-chan: the smell of tea ceremony which may or may not include more smells than just green tea idk, the sweet curry atchan makes him, a faint hint of paint bc en is an artist but too much paint smell is unpleasant

11. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

LMAO if anyone would do this, en would, but i’m not convinced. possibly kin-chan sets the alarm on en’s phone to something unbearable on a day when en has to get up early

12. Who uses chopsticks/Can either of them use chopsticks?

they’re all japanese so

13. When they can’t sleep what do they do?

kinchan tries to lie there in silence with his eyes closed the way u r meant to do. sometimes that gets results. if it doesn’t, he probably gets up and reads in a different room. atsushi does the same, except when he lies there quietly he’s less likely than kinchan to cuddle up to whoever’s next to him bc he doesn’t want to wake them up. en … ????????????????????? ??????? if he couldn’t sleep he wouldn’t know what to do with himself so he’d just lie there until it happened

14. Who’s clumsier?

probably atsushi. none of them really strike me as super clumsy but i think kinchan is graceful. whereas atsushi can be kind of awkward sometimes im sorry bby

15. Who would hold the umbrella in the rain?

en is the tallest. he’d try to make atsushi do it but atsushi would be like “just hold the umbralla en-chan omg” so he’d do it. he’d whine about it tho. also it’d have to be a big umbrella to fit all of them under it

16. What do they argue about most?

making en do the chores. kin-chan being a snob. those can be kind of rough bc kin-chan is a bit of a classist dick u know so sometimes he unintentionally hurts en’s feelings and then the resultant argument gets kind of messy. kinshirou and en also have frequent arguments about art but they aren’t as emotionally charged

17. Which one is a secret snuggler?

kin-chan. en is an open snuggler. and out and proud snuggler

18. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

atsushi, but kin-chan won’t take it. u keep urself warm, atchan!! en often says the same thing but if he’s really cold he’ll accept it a;ljsdf

19. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

atsushi. en remembers their favorites &c but not every single thing at every restaurant. kin-chan also remembers i think but he doesn’t let on, he just enjoys the feeling he gets when he’s right. it’s warm and fuzzy and also slightly triumphant lmao

20. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

en … tbh … kin-chan and atsushi are more conscious of road safety!!!! ..but sometimes if the road is straight they take en’s hand when he reaches out lmao

21. Who gets the window seat?

en. he wants to zzz. a couple of times early on kin-chan said no i want the window seat i want to watch the scenery but en was so annoying about not being able to zzz as easily that he just let him take it after that

22. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it say?)

ok this meme really is just like a bunch of questions from other memes all stitched together. this question confirms it. atsushi leaves the notes. they’re cute little cheerful things for kin-chan but they are an extra way for him to nag en-chan. also occasionally en leaves obnoxious things in kin-chan’s lunch if they’ve been arguing or he’s been teasing kin-chan and then kin-chan is mad all afternoon :D

23. Who wakes up first?

kin-chan

24. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

all these questions about sleeping and waking up like are they even necessary here

25. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoors (or to sleep)?

my first thought was that maybe kin-chan has bad circulation, but he’s an archer… idk if that would help the circulation in his feet, but in any case i’ve changed my mind about that hc altogether. so probably atsushi if anyone

26. Who has bigger cravings?

…. en and kin-chan. possibly kin-chan feels it the most if he goes without tea but like en needs his manjuu ;;

27. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

atchan. kin-chan might tell en but he has faith in atsushi’s ability to remember for himself. (atsushi reminds everyone tho including kin-chan)

28. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

kin-chan

29. Who sneaks in cookies in the shopping cart?

en a;sljkdf

30. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

n .. o one. i was going to say this sounds like smth en would do but then i was like… why tf would en be awake at 2am…

31. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

…ok so here’s an image for u. en and atsushi are getting intense over mario kart and kin-chan comes in and kind of shakes his head at them but then en invites him to join in and won’t take no for an answer so kin-chan is like ugh fine. but he doesn’t really put any effort into it at first except then he comes in 12th place in the first race whereas en and atsushi come in 1st and 2nd and it is an insult to his pride so he’s like… ok. let’s do this. and en and atsushi are startled! but in the other races he makes it up to like ……….8th place maybe. …which still isn’t good enough for him but he chooses to be disgusted w/ the game rather than w/ himself

32. Who takes longer getting ready?

probably kin-chan? idk i don’t think en or atsushi put unusual effort into getting dressed/getting dressed up. kin-chan might take a little extra time to make sure he looks 100% classy and put together but even he’s not gonna spend an hour or even half an hour getting ready

33. Who likes doing the dishes?

???????????????? none of them. atsushi ends up doing them most often but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it

34. Who points at a dog when they see it?

… no one, but en is the one who says “ah a dog”. but! kin-chan is the one whose face quietly lights up the brightest at the sight of the cute animal. ..as long as it doesn’t get to close bc dogs are slobbery and undignified

35. Who’s prone to road rage?

…kin-chan. why can’t all these imbeciles follow basic traffic laws D< D< D<

[ma-serra]

Yo Wazzuupppp!

My raya journal is backkkkk!

Gosh apparently writing needs determination sis! HAHAH when I said I wanted to document every single thing, I really didnt realize how much effort is needed! LOL nontheless I'll try my best to write so my future self will have something to read 😄

11.5.2021

Boarders closed! The state government announced that sabah is no longer 'segregated' (wait is that the right word? Aaahh screw) by zon, but by wait I dunno by what but now until next week, only KK, Putatan and Penampang considered as one area! So all Tuaran & Lokawi Peeps arent allowed to enter 'bandar' KK, if bandar make sense, yknow what i mean right? Hahaha

Anyway, so I told my dad I dont have raya shoes and i wanna go to the malls to buy one (using my 'favorite/only daughter card' here and muh old man said okayyyy) altho raya kat rumah je pun dunno why my dad fell for that clever trick to go to the mall to buy raya shoes like where am i gonna use em to anyway, bedroom to kitchen? Hahah so yooo future dads out there, you better watch out, its not your wives thats gonna drive you crazy, its your daughters! 🤭🤭

So I let my parents do all their morning ibadah sunat 1st before a visit to imago leggooooo. Well if youre wondering why im not driving there myself, even tho i have my driving license, altho yall prolly dont know i have one, okay enough me esplaininn things, i just dont wanna! Hahah yeah i manja liddat and my dad layankan aje anak dara dia sorang ni. Cuhs how many times a year can he drive me around? (If pre covid its uncountable haha but these covid days, i bet he miss drivin me around. I sure hope so!😆)

It was pretty late when we get out of the house. Around 10ish. Late if yknow my dad hahah. My bro join the club cuhs again i played the 'sister card' sayin eyyyy bukan selalu u shop wimme! Kehhh it works too! I swear my persuasion skills has been upgraded to another level LOL. Bro kept telling ayyyy imago is closed but i said lets just see. Aaaaaannndddd no traffic at all. Dad was like ehhh maybe adik is right, but me with my optimistic view, lets just go to the parking lot and see. To our surprise, its friggin OPEN!

But walaoweyh, no traffic, no que whatsoever, ample parking and no crowds! Gila. We can practice social distancing some more inside the mall! Literally havent seen the mall as quiet as that in agesssss!

Sooo all in all, it was a great experience. Good to know that my fellow KKians are good in adhering to SOPs and all this while yang shopping sakan tu are actually peeps from outside KK, Putatan & Penampang. Like me urang labuan lels. But yeah kasi can la sebab sis almost a year nda pijak tu imago hahaha

Whilst i puji KKians melambung tinggi, dad went 'orang semua suda balik kampung kakak, kau jak ni mau pegi imago lagi' Kehhhh but yeah maybe so la ahhh bcs twas 2 days before raya hahahah

Twas almost asar so dad said okay chop chop lesgo home! We went home in confidence after i got my raya tingz sorted and we planned to tapau food near my house for buka later near maghrib. To our surprise, right when we arrived home, my adik said he forgot to buy a pair of pants to go with his kurta for raya pertama. Talk about a grand surprise. Soooo we ended up only buka with kurma, drive back to imago, my bro got his pants and while waiting for it to be altered, we had our iftar at lucy kitchen.

What a day!

Ayyyyy penat oiiii typing! Nak kematu jari ni. Ada tak apps yang I can just record my voice and its translated into written docs? Kalau ada please la inform this girl. Anywayyyy till next update, annyeong!😘