#this one was just. i mean its definitely like. playing on oh what nightmares would a teenager

[candyquokka]

: ̗̀➛together | poly! minho x reader x hyunjin

pairing: lee minho x reader x hwang hyunjin

word count: 1.2k

genre: college au, humor, eventual smut, slight angst, best friend!lee know and hyunjin, best friends to lovers, first time writing a poly but lets see how this goes lol

MINORS DNI. WARNINGS UNDER CUT

Series summary:

Y/n, Minho and Hyunjin have been best friends for most of their life. But throw in college, complex and new emotions and a rowdy friendgroup- things are bound to take a turn.

(this is going to be a series, and I'll try to update frequently if i have motivation haha. Please give me feedback and comment on the post to be added to a taglist!)

PROLOGUE -> PART 1

chapter summary: just a view of their life before college

warnings: none

It had always been Hyunjin, Y/n, and Minho. The holy trio, never separated. They had been neighbors since birth, so it was only natural they would run into each other. Y/n had been playing in the sandpit when she was five, and a bully had come over and kicked her. Minho and Hyunjin, playing somewhere else, had seen this happen, and rushed to protect Y/n from the bully. And so developed the beautiful happening we call friendship.

Middle school was the generic nightmare: awkward phases, new complex feelings, bitchy teachers. High school wasn't better, but they could manage. Currently the three of them were hanging out at a cafe afterschool.

"Gosh, Hyunjin, you didn't have to be so harsh with her. Its the last day of the school year for goodness sake, you could've politely declined."

"She shoved a chocolate box in my face! What was I supposed to do, not smack a foreign object that could possibly poke my eye out?"

Minho grinned as he watched the banter between them, too entertained to intervene.

"Uh, yeah? Poor girl was shaking, you dumbass."

"What the- I'm the dumbass? I- yah, you're the one who almost fell on your ass when you backed away like an animal from that one guy who confessed to you like a week ag-mmmf-" Hyunjin was interrupted by a bundle of tissues in his mouth, fighting against Y/n.

"Someone confessed to your sorry ass?" Minho flat out shrieked, and Y/n lunged across the table to possibly shove tissues into his mouth too and-

"Welcome to cafe Miroh, what can I get for you guys today?"

A disgruntled Y/n sat back in her seat as Minho and Hyunjin both snickered. Minho ordered everything for them, and they settled back in their seats.

"So are you guys ready to get your summer glow ups?" Y/n said after taking a sip of her milkshake. "Nah, I'm already pretty. You two definitely need one though." Hyunjin mumbles, wincing as Y/n slaps his head and Minho kicks his leg from under the table. 

Minho chuckles. "Not gonna lie, Y/n, you're gonna need to ditch the whole nerd look and try something called 'being a little more social and having more than two friends'. Next years our last year, you can't be a loser."

Y/n gasps. "Why are the two of you attacking me, huh? You guys are just salty. I'm going to Paris for like the whole 2 months of summer holidays and you're not." She sticks out her tongue, and Minho takes this as an opportunity to steal a fry off her plate.

"Yeah, but that means we can't have our annual sleepover on the night before school!" Hyunjin whines and flops on his seat dramatically.

"Oh hush you dramatic baby." Y/n flicks his forehead before patting his head, and Hyunjin nuzzles into Y/n's neck, and earns judgemental stares from Minho.

"You two are disgusting, you know that?" Minho scrunches his face in disgust.

Y/n flips him off and throws a fry at him while Hyunjin blows him a kiss before leaning over the table to hold his hands. "We both know you secretly enjoy cuddles too, Minnie."

"YAH GET YOUR ZESTY HANDS OFF ME."

Breathless. That was one word to describe what Minho and Hyunjin were feeling as they waited outside her house, watching her wave at them before walking and hugging both of them. The strong grip around their necks broke them out of their stupor, and she pulled away. 

“Oh my god, I missed you guys so much! How have you both been?” Y/n giggled. Minho shook his head before flicking her forehead. “Y/nnie, did you shapeshift or something? You look even uglier!” Y/n’s face dropped as she shoved Minho away, locking arms with Hyunjin and speed walking. “Fine, I’ll just stay with Jinnie here and you can be a loner the whole year.” 

Hyunjin places a hand over his chest. “Woah, Y/nnie, how could I imagine being graced with such beauty!” Y/n smiles and rolls her eyes, Minho ruffling her hair as she mutters. “Gosh, did you two take supplements or something? Why are you two suddenly so much taller?”

Y/n’s apparently late ‘face and body developments’ did not go ignored in the school. Walking in the hallways, Y/n was oblivious to the many double takes people were doing to her. As the three entered their classroom, they saw two empty desks, one behind the other near the back. “Dibs the back desk!” Minho and Hyunjin both shouted, rushing to the back and leaving a surprised Y/n near the entrance. She sent them an annoyed glare before sitting on the desk in front of them. 

Minho leans forward and taps her shoulder. “Guess you’re the loner again, Y/n.” He dodges the flick aimed for his forehead and leans back in his seat, Hyunjin giggling at the exchange. But his face slowly turns into a look of confusion as another guy with dark-blue dyed hair enters the room, his unfamiliar face turning heads as he slowly makes his way to the only empty seat in the classroom: next to Y/n.

“H-hey, could I um- could i sit here? It's the only empty seat-” Y/n smiles and nods, turning around to meet Minho’s eyes and flick her long black hair in a victorious gesture over her shoulder. “Are you new? I’m Y/n.”

The boy stammers, clearly being anxious. “Uh, I-I’m Jisung, H-Han Jisung. Yeah, I’m uh, I’m new. It's nice to meet you, umm, Y/n.” He cautiously smiles. Y/n grins and turns around. “This is Hyunjin, he’s a drama queen and you don’t need to bother with him. This is Minho. He acts like he’s got a stick up his ass half the time. You don’t need to bother with him either. Do you wanna sit with us for lunch?” 

Halfway into the year and Y/n had already rejected a dozen confessions. “These boys may not be it, but damn these chocolates taste fucking delicious.” Hyunjin groans as he bites into one, falling back against his bed as the four of them hung out at Hyunjin’s house. Han Jisung was someone who warmed up quite quickly to the three of them, and constantly broke into their personal space, even Minhos. Currently he was clinging onto Minho like a kuala, whose legs were sprawled over Y/n's lap on the bed.

“S’not my fault I don’t like them. Ugh, I feel so bad rejecting them. Should I just accept one and see where it goes?”

“NO!” The three boys cry out, shocking Y/n. “I need to get new friends, you’re all gonna keep me bitchless.” She rolls her eyes. 

“Better bitchless than a broken heart.” Hyunjin voice is muffled from chocolate.

“Shut up you fatass”

“I’m not a fatass Dicksung”

“...”

“DID YOU CALL ME A FUCKING DICKSUNG?? WHAT THE FUCK IS A DICKSUNG YOU FUCKING DRAMATIC BITCH.”

 Jisung’s outburst shocks everyone as he lunges at Hyunjin, Y/n and Minho grabbing each other from laughing so much. Suddenly the door slams open as Yeji, Hyunjin’s scary younger sister, stands in the doorway, breathing heavily. Y/n has the shame to smile apologetically as Minho is still wheezing on the bed, and Jisung slowly looks up at Yeji, before quietly getting off Hyunjin and cautiously hides behind Minho. Yeji smiles at Y/n before leaving the room.

“Your sister is so scary, Jinnie. Shes way cooler than you”

“Shut the fuck up Minho.”

[cutielights]

ITS HERE!!!

I think exactly one person voted ‘No’ on The Poll :p <3

100+ followers rottmnt fluff alphabet!

Leo

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

He loves going swimming with you, beach, pool, waterparks? They’re all game in his eyes

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

He loves your hands, cuddling and absentmindedly playing with your fingers

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

“Hey, hey I’m here, breathe, it’s me, Leo, remember?” He’s practiced in these things. Guides you through the 5 4 3 2 1 method

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

When it crosses his mind, he pictures it with kids, training them to be ninjas. But that’s in the future, he’s in the now

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

You guys take turns, kind of looks like a competition to the outside eye

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

The thing he does most is sulk for a few days, silent treatment. Depending on who he thinks was truly in the wrong, he’ll confront you or apologise himself.

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He is so insecure about not being enough for you. He is so grateful you put up with him, please comfort him, he needs to know you actually love him and don’t hate him, super aware of everything you do

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

The secrets he keeps are more of, ptsd related things. Doesn’t want you to worry about his nightmares. Can be coaxed into telling the truth, usually with cuddles after said nightmares

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspired? He’s definitely more open with his feelings now, healthier coping mechanisms

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

Possessive Jealousy? No. Insecure Jealousy. Plays it cool on the outside, but nervousness runs rampant in this boy’s skull, what if you think that guy is better than him? What about that yokai? They’re conveniently attractive and oh god they’re making jokes and you’re laughing?! Oh no oh no oh no

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

It was awkward to say the least. You both knew you wanted to kiss, but didn’t know how to express it. Kinda went like; “So-“ “Are we gonna-“ “y’know…”. after some failed attempts, you finally kissed

Love confession- how did they confess?

He confessed in the middle of a Jupiter Jim marathon. It was accidental as he thought you were asleep, after panicking and saying he didn’t mean it, you returned his feelings

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

Scares him half to death. Not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just- he feels he’s not worthy of marriage

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Baby, Honey, Love of my life

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

Zones out just staring at you with simultaneously the most dorky, smug, and lovestruck smile on his face

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

110% he gives you kisses in public, he is holding your hand, either piggybacking you or the other way around, it’s game

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His ability to clock you feeling down the moment it happens is wonderful if not otherworldly

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

He can be cliche, nights at Hueso’s, but also mixes it up a bit with nighttime strolls or Hidden City shenanigans

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Of course he’s helping! Maybe a tad too enthusiastic at times, but he wants the best for you

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

He is doing new things all the time with you, but only new things you want to to ofc, may give you a nudge outside the comfort zone every now and again, just to help things along

Understanding- are they empathetic?

He might not seem it at first glance, but he is empathetic. Helps you through nightmares, injuries and anything that may ail you

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

Holds it above his own mental sanity

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

He is an arms guy, jumping into your arms or picking you up and spinning you around in his

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

He is kissing your cheek to get attention, on the hand when being overly dramatic or romantic, on the forehead when cuddling, so very affectionate

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Quite sulky, whiny about it the whole time, saying things would be so much better if you were simply in each other’s presence. As for coping? He cuddles a pillow at night until you return

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He is ready to do anything. Stay in the prison dimension? If it means you’re safe. Steal a cake? If it makes you happy

Raph

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

He loves working out with you. Buuut if that’s not your speed, he won’t complain about getting pizza

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

He can’t pick a favourite! Perhaps your height is his favourite, he likes using you as a teddy

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

He’s bringing you ice cream and a shoulder to cry on after a bad day, maybe even some flowers too

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He gets very anxious about the future, especially the future of your relationship. Sits down to have a very serious talk about it, would you want to get married? Would you want kids? Can we afford kids? How do we acquire children? Takes it seriously and doesn’t marry himself to one particular future

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

You both stand on the same level of equality

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Snaps if he’s particularly stressed about something. Apologises after taking a few deep breaths. It’s extremely rare for an argument to last more than a day

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

Oh my man thinks you’re way out of his league, will forever be eternally grateful for you and everything you do

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

If he has secrets, he wouldn’t be able to keep them for long, they eat away at him. Mind Raph helps him tell the truth before it does some damage to the relationship

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

You’ve definitely inspired him to take more time to himself, and just relax, even just for a bit

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

He refuses to call it jealousy, he just refuses to. He knows you would never do anything with that person, that conveniently attractive person, with a great personality, and you’re laughing at their jokes?! “Haha, yeah we just need to go… somewhere else.”

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s getting better with practice. The first was at a drive in theatre, neither of you were really paying attention to the movie, something about a cafe owner going broke, he blurted out the question so quickly you didn’t even hear the sentence. You had to ask him to repeat himself twice before he had calmed down

Love confession- how did they confess?

With flowers in your favourite colour, he stood on your fire escape and poured his heart out in front of you

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

It crosses his mind often, he’s very concerned about the future, dislikes that he can’t just know what will happen. As for marriage itself? He’ll ask someday, but not now

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Shortstack

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

He’s obvious. But in denial with it, even when called out

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

He’s not one for PDA, preferring cuddles in private

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His pure strength and size is good for many things, including amazing cuddles

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

Cliche, he knows it’s cliche, but it’s cliche for a reason right? Flowers, candles, the whole shebang. People wouldn’t keep doing it if it didn’t work!

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

He would! Would help you set realistic goals and work up to the ultimate one

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

He likes his routine, throwing in a surprise here and there

Understanding- are they empathetic?

Yes! Ofc, he is. Doesn’t want you to suffer, cuddles count as therapy right?

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

Important, he is making sure you are safe 100% of the time, he knows what a pain villains are for stealing s/o’s

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

Piggybacks! Or carrying you bridal style, just imagine all the things you can see up there

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

Yes and yes, not so much as PDA, but as general cuddles for movie nights

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Won’t try to outwardly express this to anyone, shows up outside your window, if that’s not possible due to some unspoken reason then he probably just messages you, staying up later than he usually does

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

Man is ready to jump off a building for you

Donnie

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

Going to conventions, dancing, pure enjoyment of the other’s company

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

Any facial markings or scars, stretch marks included

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

Asks before doing absolutely anything. “Can I come in?” “I’m going to come closer, is that okay?” “May I touch you?” Does his best to calm you down, if not, then he’s finding the root of the issue and eliminating it

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He pictures his future quite often, the vision changes from time to time, but your always next to him in it

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

Says he’s the dominant one, but really likes when you’re the dominant

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Fights actually don’t happen that much with the two of you. If you do fight, he only lets it last a few minutes before cutting contact and giving you the silent treatment. Forgiveness is given in a few days and you guys are on good terms again

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He can forget sometimes, but he spends a day without you and takes it all back, realising how much he relies on you

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

According to the internet, honesty is key to a healthy relationship, so he does his best although honesty is quite difficult sometimes, in general

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspired in the way that you give him new insights he himself hadn’t considered fully yet, set on one path, helping him see the bigger picture on things

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

It’s through the roof, although, he’s in denial about it

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

It didn’t happen until at least six months, awkward at first, but followed your lead after some reassurance

Love confession- how did they confess?

He had a whole plan on how to do it, like a months long plan. You got there first, catching him off guard

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

He’d get married if you really wanted to but, he doesn’t see the point exactly. That doesn’t stop him from being emotional on the day however

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Darling, Significant Other

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

Gets extremely defensive about the fact that he’s definitely not on cloud nine that he forgets to act like it

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

Absolutely not, especially not in the first few months. Hand holding is acceptable, and the occasional hug

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

The ability to force himself to stay up all night, caffeine helps of course. You guys can just talk in the dead of night, as we all know, that is the best bonding time

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

Gets creative with it, but isn’t shying away from flowers. Better yet! Mechanical flowers that bloom in the day! They never die!

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Much like his red older brother, helps you set realistic mini-goals, and then helps achieve them. Not too hands on however, wants you to accomplish it yourself

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

Routine. Routine. Routine. Cannot function without it. If there’s something new he needs to know about it at least a week in advance and that’s being lenient

Understanding- are they empathetic?

He is empathetic, just not the best at expressing it

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

This is so important to him, you would not believe

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

He pulls you onto his lap when working on something, refusing to let you leave

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

After the initial phase he most definitely is, but only in private will you get kisses

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Calls and messages 24/7, if that’s unavailable? Workaholic

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He’s ready to destroy his inventions for you. Yes- he has backups, but that’s beside the point!

Mikey

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

Let’s go, come on we’re going to paint New York with graffiti. Loves cooking with you and showing you techniques he learned recently

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

Loves your hair/fur/whatever, running hands through it

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

Comfort foods, but never overboard with it, too much is unhealthy. Movie nights and gentle words

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He honestly doesn’t think about it all that much, preferring the moment. But he does picture his future with you in it

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

Passive, prefers standing on equal ground with people

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Dr feelings isn’t letting fights go unresolved, preferring to talk it out and get to the bottom of the issue

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He’s super grateful! Does occasionally let it slip, but just tell him and he’ll remember himself

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

He wouldn’t keep secrets on purpose, likely the only reason he hasn’t told you anything is because it hadn’t come up in conversations yet, or he’s self conscious about it, not wanting to be a bother, but never out of malice

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspiration in the sense that you’re his favourite muse? Yes! Inspiration in the sense that he’s changed? Probably not

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

He tries his best to not get jealous, but sometimes he just can’t hold it back, Dr delicate touch tells the person you’re taken

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Rooftop rambles at night are a must in this relationship, it happened under the moonlight, you could taste the pizza on his breath

Love confession- how did they confess?

He tried making it romantic, he really did, but one disaster after another passed through. He was about to just leave and take it as a sign you guys weren’t supposed to be together until you confessed instead

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

He’s up for it if you’re up for it, but only after a while, when you’re both adults, just to be safe

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Baby, Honey, CutiePie, Angel, Wonder

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

He physically has heart eyes, most obvious in his cloud-nine shenanigans, zoned out whilst staring at you once and added way too much baking soda it was a disaster

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

PDA all day, as long as you’re okay with it ofc, mostly just hand holding and an arm around your shoulder

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His ability to completely clock whenever you’re down avoids most complications

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

He gets creative with it, thinks the traditional things are nice, sure, but overdone

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Oh absolutely he believes in you! Supports your goals and helps out with what you may need

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

New things. Hidden city dates all the time because it’s the most unpredictable, carefully avoiding the law enforcements.

Understanding- are they empathetic?

Absolutely! Have you met this boy? Sureee Dr Delicate touch isn’t empathetic, but that’s not a problem with you guys, he hasn’t met you yet.

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

You’re pinned in his contacts, he adores baking or cooking anything for you, overall one of the most important people in his life

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

Has one of those jars that have the lolly sticks with things to do with a s/o written on them, you made it together! Orange stick for an indoor date, green for outdoor, white for something that can be done anywhere

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

Affection levels at 110% he’s giving you all the attention you deserve and could ever want

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

He spams messages for a while, but if you’re not responding for some reason, listens to music in order to zone out. Takes his mind off of things ya know?

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He would go to the greatest lengths. This man would have taken Leo’s place in the prison dimension if it meant you were safe and alive

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi. I have a pretty specific request for Kaz x reader. Basically, the reader was a part of the dregs for some time, well acquainted with Kaz, Nina and Inej (and Jesper, though I don't remember when he dropped studies and joined, but like yeah). After some time (2 years?) the reader is sent off to a job that causes them not to run into the main group a lot. For half a year they almost disappear (maybe swindling people in the harbor or watching some other Dregs’ territory). When they return all is good, new scars were definitely made and all, but that's a part of the job. They did mess up their leg though, having the knee crushed by a heavy object. They didn't get to heal it and after half a year its pretty hard to really fix. Unfortunately, they were known for their dancing and athletics as well as hand to hand combat before. That was why thy were seen as a valuable asset in the first place. And in the Dregs it’s not uncommon to overlook or hide injuries. So, though it's clear that something is wrong, they downplay it, afraid of being seen as weak or useless. But they struggle on the daily. I mean, from experience, that kind of an unhealed injury is hard to manage - they don't know how to sleep without pain flaring up bc the usual positions just don't work anymore, they have to relearn walking the stairs in a painless manner, whether changes are number one enemy, riding in anything is a nightmare bc the roads are bumpy, sitting apparently can cause pain too not to even mention walking. And all the fighting and acrobatics aren't as effective. They try to make others forget, trying to dance with Nina and Jes and sparring with Inej as if nothing happened. They want their life and self worth back

Before, they were known for keeping Kaz at a distance, which doesn't change at first. They still bicker, the reader is still distrustful. But I think he would be helpful. Not out of kindness, especially at first, but out of convenience. He can’t have them messing things up and so it starts small with offhand tips. Just enough not to have them get killed. Later, perhaps, they start talking more and the reader isn't sure if Kaz is still just the ruthless asshole they have to work with

To be fair, I don't have much plot. I just have my love for bittersweet stories and my messed up leg to provide inspiration. Also, don't care what you do with the gender, I used they/them to make in neutral but I don't really care. I know this request is long. No pressure if you don't like this scenario

-☆

My apologies for this taking so long. I was just scared that I wasn’t gonna do this justice. I hope it’s at least somewhat close. 🥺😫

Broken dreams

Playing a part was always hard. Fitting different masks. Making sure they didn’t slip. Always a smile. Always a careless, wild girl. But she just died last year. She was beaten. Broken to bits. Tossed aside. Left to die in that ally. To rot. Forgotten. Would anyone have come looking for you? Would have missed you? Grieved you? They killed the innocent girl that day. Left a broken shell of a woman in her way.

“Come on one more”, Nina pulled at your hand breathlessly. You quickly shoot her a smile, pushing the demons running in your mind aside. “We just sat down”, you chuckled while in reality, the idea of being up on your feet was making you want to turn to the side and vomit. “Oh, come on, we used to dance all night long, remember?”, she tossed her head back, downing her drink. “Jasper always steps on my toes, I need you to save me from that”, she cackled. Your eyes followed Jasper who was turning Wylan around. How much has everything changed in the time you were gone? It felt as if you no longer belonged. As if this version of you didn’t belong here anymore. “Are you feeling okay?”, Nina’s worried eyes watched you and you instantly nudged her, “Morning my freedom now that you’ve pretty much left your boyfriend for me”, you teased her. Happy to see her laugh. Off the hook then. “Lead the way”, you urged her. You could dance. Then down half the bottle of painkillers. Snatch one of the absolute bottles from Kaz’s drawer. It would work. You just had to pretend for a bit longer.

The pain was unbearable once you finally excused yourself. Sobbing the whole way back to the den. The agony felt like tongues of flames. No longer just in your legs. All over your body now. You slumped against the door. Letting yourself breathe. Trying to breathe. Only twenty sets of steps. It used to be only. Now it felt like twenty too many. Ot aggravated you. You wanted your body back. Wanted your freedom back. Wanted to be able to do things that others did. You just wanted it all to stop.

“Back early”, the voice makes you halt. Eyes growing big, you wipe your face before turning around, “Been a while since I drank so freely, Nina is also too persuasive”, you shoot a somewhat dazed smile at Kaz, who’s leaning against the the hallway arch. “You used to dance till early morning sun”, his words meet the target in a blind shot. Making your eyes sting once more. “You used to be more quiet. Don’t want to crawl back to your hole?”, it’s bitter. So bitter because he had learned to live with his pain. You were jealous of that. You had hoped that by watching him you would learn some tricks. How to navigate things that were easy once but brought you pain now. You learned to walk down the stairs because of him. Of watching him.

“You’ve changed”, Kaz’s eyes don’t leave you as he speaks. “Rich coming from you”, you let out a chuckle, locking the outside door. “You’re defensive”, he continues to push, “You were never defensive with me. We argued. You tested my patience but you never bit me”, you hear the sound of his cane, then the smooth steps. “Why are you biting me now, YN?”, Kaz asks. “Don’t make everything about yourself, Kaz”, you turned around swiftly, feeling your legs dip slightly beneath your weight. But you bite back the cry of pain, stepping forward. Hoping to escape him. But Kaz’s cane comes in front of you blocking your way.

“You don’t get to walk away”, he grunts, turning his head to you. “I’ll ask this once”, his voice low, lethal, “So take your time to think”. You can feel him. Feel his eyes when he asks, “Who hurt you?”. The anger takes flight within you. Sending traitorous tears falling down your cheeks, “If I have an idea they would be six feet under”. He had played his part. Made you open the throbbing wound up for him to see. “They captured me. Broke my knees. I couldn’t…”, the words tumble freely, as you hide your face in your palms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”, his tone is blank, emotionless.

“What was I supposed to say?”, you crock out in frustration, “I was worthless then. I was of no use”. Kaz clenches his jaw, “So you hide the truth from me?”. You can’t help but growl in frustration, “I did the job you gave me. I got you what you wanted, what else do you want from me for fuck sake”.

And it’s a matter of heartbeats as your back hits the wall, Kaz’s cane now pressed against your chest, “I don’t give a fuck about the job”, he spats, veins visible in his tense neck now. “We could have gotten you a good doctor, could have…”, he grunts, “Did anyone look at the injury at all?”. You look at him for a moment. You could lie but what’s the point? “Some passing by a doctor”, you admit, “Fixed what he was able to, wished me luck, and left”.

Kaz shakes his head as he steps back, “How bad is the pain?”, “You want to bask in it?”, you clip right at him. “I should throw you out. Make you pay for ruining your own body so carelessly”, he hisses, “Legally you are mine. I own you. So your legs are mine to worry about”. You scoff, “How sweet of you, my gods”. Kaz’s gloved hand catches your jaw, the touch starts you both it seems. “I’m mad at you because you should have spoken up. I would have helped you. Would have dropped everything and made my way to you”, Kaz snarls through gritted teeth, “You’re starting physical therapy from tomorrow. That’s an order”, he steps back, pulls at his west. You blink up at him, knowing that you should say something. Anything. He would have come to you. But was it true? “If you ever pull anything like this ever again…”, Kaz doesn’t finish but you know well what his words imply, “I’ll see you in the morning at my office. Think well about the features of people who attacked”.

[trappedinafantasy37]

It is now time to go down into the sewers and to face Orin. With this run being just Shadowheart and Minthara and no Durge, this definitely feels a lot more personal for Minthara.

The moment we passed the threshold into the Undercity, Minthara drops the alurlssrin confession. Of course, Shadowheart has no idea what that means. But Minthara is walking down into that temple terrified that she will not make it out alive and she wants to tell Shadowheart she loves her in the best way that she can

Did not exactly feel like doing this bullshit of a fight, so I engaged in a little pro-gamer move I like to call, "If they can't see me, they can't fight me." You'd be surprised how many problems you can get out of if you just avoid them entirely!

Behold, the Temple of Bhaal in all its dreadful glory!

Orin is quite excited to see Minthara again! Oh, how she missed her Minthara.

Turns out, Orin is not too happy that Minthara has a new girlfriend now and wants to get rid of the competition. What is it about evil lesbians that compels them to resort to violence to solve their problems?

I have learned quite a lot of things about Orin these past few days. Not only is Orin capable of turning invisible in the middle of a fight, but she can also resurrect the dead! Who knew? I sure as fuck didn't! What else is she hiding?

YES! SHE DID IT! BABYGURL KILLED ORIN ALL BY HERSELF!

Death is too good for Orin, she deserved worse. Minthara deserved the honor of doing worse.

Even though she personally dispatched of Orin, Minthara has a hard time believing that Orin is dead and that her nightmare is over. She is still quite terrified. Once, she had believed that killing Orin would make her feel better. But vengeance is not all its cracked up to be it would seem.

But, it's okay. Shadowheart is here to make it all better. Orin is dead and can never touch her again.

I almost exclusively play Durge and have always found the fight to be easier in a one-on-one duel. Sadly, Minthara is not granted a duel or the ability to confront Orin directly. Stocking up on some spell scrolls and with some carefully targeted attacks, I was able to make it so that Minthara was the one who fought Orin. And she won.

Like I said, Minthara being my only companion on this run definitely made the confrontation with Orin feel a lot more personal for her. She is sidelined and regarded as if her trauma is just an after thought and doesn't get the opportunity to confront her abuser. Perhaps Minthara's character development gets stunted because she isn't given the proper chance to work through her trauma like all the rest. It will forever infuriate me. But, that's what fanfiction is for and I will always give Minthara what she actually deserves in my little stories.

Next up, the Elder Brain and the end of the game.

< The Foundry and Gortash | Doomsday >

[megabuild]

so you like transfem etho right? how do you think she figured it out?

did pause call her a girl once and etho decided she liked it or was there more thought involved

i don't think she ever "figured it out" in the way most people would but that's mainly because i see etho as having a very weird upbringing. she was very lonely as a child and didn't really start meeting people from wider society who treated her like a human but also would inflict gender roles on her until mindcrack when she was like... mid 20s. and yeah there definitely was a bit of teasing there but i don't think it really awakened anything in her more just confused her. if you pushed him about a bit and called him a girl insultingly he'd be like ? No I'm not. Because he has lived so far detached from society he can't even conceptualise the idea of feminity being a "weakness" yet #feminist but also he was raised to play very particular roles and wear very particular masks and girl is not and never has been one of them, he is a Guy, theres no questioning that.

But then yeah of course there is because she leaves mindcrack on pretty bad terms and spends some short time alone before she gets pulled onto hermitcraft and while she's sitting alone she does eventually realise oh, people can do that, people can change. And that fucking terrifies her, so much, because she already has horrible identity issues and doesn't really fully understand it so to her it's an all or nothing 100% change of self, and that's sort of awesome in a way but also really scary because that means rejecting literally everything about herself both past and present and she goes AHHHH FUCK and puts that back in the box and then xisuma recruits her like at the end of iron man when they were setting up the avengers movie. And she goes to hermitcraft and doesn't think about any of that for a really long time despite the never ending horrors happening all the time.

In my head he sort of. Doesn't Get Over It but he comes to terms with all the weird shit that happened to him when he was younger re: 404 and the LP between HC 5 and 7 like he was away on a soul searching mission. And then HC7 has its own fresh nightmares as he comes to terms with HC5 because that was a can of worms itself but this time the difference is that he has friends around him who gets it and can help him. And this is roundabout the time she starts to think about it more because she gets quite close to grian post-mycelium resistance and grian is a trans girl who takes estrogen and everything which is like, everything etho was terrified of, and they have some very clumsy and candid conversations where grian is definitely Not the best person to talk to because she's like well you're fucking stupid. But after talking to her and maybe cleo a bit too though idk if they would have been close enough at that point and bdubs too because while he doesn't know anything about this he knows a lot about etho, she eventually realises wow this doesn't have to be a new mask or a massive upheaval this is just something i can try out on the side if i like it. And so she does! Originally just with her absolute closest friends using she/her sometimes (she ends up using he/she alternately, because she doesn't really have any problem with he/him) and while she never formally Comes Out because that's not her style it spreads until most people use it.

Etho is very much a character of certainty imo, he likes rigid ideas when it comes to himself so he knows what to live up to, so i think not making her label her gender (or sexuality except that's. A different can of worms albeit a slightly less complicated one) is a bit of a character growth thing as much as it is a personal decision. Learning he can not constantly stress over the finer details or try to live up to what others decide he should be whether that's a man or a woman or something else entirely and just accepting that she's herself, and that's her own choice, is a Big Thing for her. though i don't know if she recognises that .

[jay-justjay]

Oh yeah, I never explained my headcannon from earlier.

It’s mostly a headcannon I use in rp but it’s kinda cool nonetheless.

There are two meanings to the word “player” when it comes to Killer’s sort of… game mechanics(?).

The Player that was the one playing the game of undertale

And the Player that is moreso a role.

The first is pretty simple, they’re the one that fucked with his code in the first place.

The second is more complex than that (in this headcannon). The role “player” mostly refers to who has the most control over Killer. At first it was Chara, but once Chara dies, it becomes Nightmare. Whoever has the role of player, is who Killer will actually obey in st2/st3. And in St4 I like to think he will act exclusively on what he THINKS the current player would want. May not always be accurate, and it is damn near impossible to actually control him like this.

St1 has a lot more free will than the others, not being basically subconsciously forced to obey.

St2 has him obedient, but definitely still able to talk shit.

St3 I dont know enough about

St4 I go massively into headcannon territory because I think I just changed it completely for my roleplays. Basically he gets all murdery in this stage because thats what Chara always wanted him to do. But he also tends to focus on torture and slow deaths because Nightmare wants negativity.

Is any of this making any sense?

Its like

2:30 am

[sensei-venus]

(Unedited) ( @gemini-sensei ) (Moskowitz Twin Au!, Hawk/Moon Eli/Reader Moon/Reader)

The boys would probably be a little scared the first time they talked about letting their girlfriends meet.

Hawk may seem like he doesn't give a fuck about a lot of stuff, but that had him nervous. He doesn't hang out wothhis twin a lot, they still run in different friend groups. But he still wanted bis girlfriend, Moon, to hopefully get along with Eli’s girlfriend Reader. Maybe it was a twin thing but they really needed their girlfriends to at least get along with each other. It would be a nightmare if they didn't.

Luckily they do get along!

The minute Moon meets Reader she is infatuated with the girl. When Hawk tried describing the girl Moon was under the impression she was shy. But after meeting her she finds out she's just quiet, she loves doing more extravorted things and going on adventures. She’s also just super nice which Moon loves. Whenever the boys can't go out with them they end up going out together to hang out. Moon loves to take her to the mall or just to go shopping. Sometimes they go to the park together or out to eat. They just love spending time with each other even if the boys aren't with them. They end up becoming besties very fast.

Which is how they ended up in Moon’s room one day kissing on her bed.

At first, Reader doesn't want to. The minute Moon slowly starts feeling her up she tries to back out. She loves Eli and she likes Hawk, she couldn't betray them like that. Not sitting there and making out with her boyfriend's twin brothers girlfriends. But then Moon says “Hawk knows I like you, like more then a normal friend. He won't be mad at me and I doubt Eli will have a problem with it. It's just a little kissing~” her words sink in. Reader gulps as Moon starts kissing up her exposed neckline. Maybe she was right, it was just some kissing right? Moon wasn't asking for to much. And it felt so good to have her best friend touching her all over with nice soft kisses.

So she gives in and let's Moon slowly kiss her on the lips.

It's soft with a touch of warmth too it which has her shivering. It's similer it the way Eli kisses her which is something she loves. Eli is so gentle just like Moon is being. She can't help but hang on to her as they slowly start to make out.

They don't hear the small creak of Moon’s door opening. The Twins watch in awe as their girlfriends kiss each other on the plush bed. Hawk is smirking while Eli just has a hand over his mouth while watching them. He covers the small squeak that leaves his mouth with his hands.

Reader’s eyes only flutter open a little while Moon licks at her bottom lip, but it's enough to catch a glimpse of the twin in the doorway. She gasps into the kiss and quickly pulls away from the other girl. Moon just cocks her head before looking back to see what Reader is staring at. She gives a small grin while looking at Hawk. Mischief playing in her eyes.

“Oh I'm sorry I should have invited you guys over before we started.” she says simply.

“Eli I didn'— I promise, I didn't mean to!”

“I-its okay Reader….I kinda like watching you kiss Moon. If you're enjoying it you can keep going, I don't mind watching you two kiss.” Eli says shyly, cheeks still warm and red from watching the two of them just moments ago

Hawk smirks and leads against the door “Feel free to keep going. I don't mind sharing my girlfriend with you at all. Twins shear all the time, and me and Eli are fine letting you to go at it any time you want. Well, more than likely we would like to be there though. It's only fair of course that we get to see our pretty girlfriends go at it.”

Reader feel hot as Moon turns to smirk at her. Slowly she starts to kiss along her jaw while the boys watch in the background.

This was definitely something new to put down in her brain somewhere.

[kozumesphone]

also, second one (cause i couldnt resist)

if u seek amy! i think thatll be fun

my hobby is reading and playing the guitar!

i think i read like fifty books last year..

my fav books are pjo tlt (its nostalgic ok!!) and the hunger games series

i like to play mostly taylor swift and gracie abrams songs on the guitar!

i basically steal my sisters guitar whenever i want to play cause i dont have my own lol (im better than her)

my favorite taylor swift song is youre on your own kid

my favorite gracie abrams song is feels like

my favorite color is yellow (pretty obvious i think) it reminds me of sunshine and just overall happy things yk?

my favorite season is spring! the flowers start blooming and theyre so pretty (downside are the bugs)

i have a lot of favorite shows: stranger things, brooklyn 99, the good place, modern family

my favorite subject is chemistry! i love learning about the world around me and its properties etcetc

some random stuff about my personality: i get distracted so easily its a nightmare to study, i am an emotional wreck i cry easily, definitely a night owl, hufflepuff, daughter of poseidon

i dont mind if u pick someone from a book i dont recognise, that will just give me incentive to read it!!!

oh forgot to mention im a straight girl

love uuuu and congrats again!!!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

CORASON⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “I love you, okay, darling!”

a/n: okay but the way the ship name is corason? which sounds so close to corazon? which means like ‘my dear’ in italian, I think?? MADE FOR EACH OTHER MUCH 🤭💓

I think you’d best match with jason grace!

I mean, daughter of poseidon x son of jupiter? hello?? PERFECTION!!

jason would learn to play the piano while you play the guitar, so you guys could play music together

he LOVES laying on your stomach while you read on your bed and run your fingers through his hair

^ sometimes, he even falls asleep like that, and you both slowly shift into cuddling

he definitely hypes you up to finish your goodreads reading goal, if not exceed it (what can I say? he’s jason grace)

he definitely went to the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie with you (supportive bfs even when they have no idea what you read/watch >>)

he once asked you why you love yoyok by taylor, and straight up bawled while you explained to him what the song meant

he’s a very sunshine-y person, just like you, so when you guys are together, leo pretends to faint and says “too much sun! i’m getting sunstroke! help!!” and he thinks he’s really funny (i’d laugh, ngl <3)

come springtime, he lets you put all the flowers you collect over the summer into his hair

^ he also does the rapunzel braid on your hair and puts in matching flowers in it

(he drives away the bugs for you, dw!)

in an au, he’d never have heard of any tv shows, but after hearing you yap to him about them, he watches them ALL and makes notes about them too (about what? only he knows.)

okay, here we’re going off the rails so badly, but it’s a very ooc and personal hc of mine: jason sucks ASS at geography and chemistry. he will literally breakdown at the very thought of them.

he gets you to help him out with the chemistry part, and he teaches you math (if you’re not good at it already)!

he makes sure you don’t let yourself get burnt out while studying, and also makes sure you don’t get distracted and procrastinate

he comforts you at any time of the day: you say it, he’ll be over asap to give you free cuddles with your favourite chocolates & drinks

sometimes, he doesn’t even need you to tell him. he’ll just. know. when you’re feeling off. and his jacie senses tingle, and he calls you up and goes, “is it cuddletime?” and then drives over

while you’re a night owl, he’s an early bird (he must teach me his way, tho, because h o w)

^ you stay up till 2-3 am reading/studying and wake up by 9 or 10 am, while he sleeps by 10 pm and wakes up by 5 am to the dot

so you guys leave each other sticky notes before going to bed for the other one to see when they wake up

you guys 100% go on bookstore dates (he buys you everything you can carry on your own), library/study dates (especially while grinding during finals szn), museum dates (to mock the statues), beach dates (so he can get mesmerised while watching you do silly little tricks with the water and talk to the fishies), etc.

his love language is 101% physical touch & acts of service <3

temp. taglist — @nuncscioquidsitamor-14 @mqstermindswift @puffoz @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @roses4plvto

@urbanflorals @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @mershellscape @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @bloophasarrived @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @hermidastouch @catastrxblues

@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @saltwatergirl6 @hope92100

event masterlist

[blorbologist]

dorian, morrighan, and dariax - freedom, longing, devotion

[I'm sorry there's no Morrighan and uh very little longing in this. Three characters is a Lot and I had very specific Thoughts I wanted to explore after yesterday's episode. Because I'm a biologist and spiders are really cool. Will edit once I get access to transcripts to clean things up! Also available on AO3.]

[TW for a lot, a lot of mention of spiders.]

Do you remember the first time you saw, oh, a butterfly? Or a mouse, or a grasshopper, anything as benign as that? Probably not. They’re parts of the periphery of life that stop really standing out once you’ve seen them once or twice. Maybe once they were subject of stories - omens of change, or a brave needle-wielding warrior, sage little advisors - but now just swift movement in a busy world. 

Dorian remembers the first time he saw a spider, because it was so - it was just - well, it went a little like this:

He was outside and quite small, made all the smaller by the big wide sky around him. The endless (at the time) tends were constricting, and all he remembers about the why is that he had to be out there. For some reason that left him red-eyed and stormy-haired.

And while staring at the white clouds and white-blue beyond and white glare of the sun, and really getting a bit cross-eyed, something very little drifted by. Even smaller than him, if you can believe it. 

It was a grain of rice, or two, with delicate hairs - or, nope, those were legs - holding onto a cloud just its size. Drifting in the sky without a worry. Dorian would have been very worried, if he was this thing, because it was really being thrown into loops and dives and almost hanging, still, when the wind got tired of playing with it.

So little Dorian held out his hand and caught it. 

It, you might have guessed, was a tiny spider. Slowly moving over his hand, like it was dizzy. Or maybe just tired. 

Being a child - no, more than that, being Brontë - had immediately forgotten whatever had him in a state to find Cyrus. That’s when he learned this was a spider, a baby spider tossed around on the breeze to find a new home.

He’d decided this would be its home. Put it in a little jar with what twigs and leaves could be tossed to this altitude. 

Dorian never did find out if it escaped. Or if it died, perfect little legs curled into a fist. 

--

It’s weird, how many stories have spiders as the villains. Terrible glutted things guarding secret passages, or lying to brave adventurers, or pulling silk-strings of their puppets to make them dance. Dorian thought it unfair - it’s not like spiders were that bad. They were fragile, and quite pretty, and with talent matching the finest weavers he’d seen. Maybe it was artistic envy, to paint them as the worst in every story?

Sorry - it was weird, back then. Dorian knows better now. There’s a little grain of truth in every tale, after all. It turns out this one is not a grain of rice, but the girth of a god.

Dariax was staring at him. Or, well - he couldn’t be sure of that. Because his eyes were still inky black, the shiny abdomen of a bloated specimen. But Dorian definitely felt stared at. Angling his handheld mirror revealed not even the littlest blemish. 

He still tasted black ooze at the back of his teeth. It reminded him of when a fly launches itself at the back of your throat at mock-fuckyou and gives you both a bad time. Except he wanted to enjoy the flavor. 

That tang was in his mouth as he matched the lullaby. On his tongue during the nightmare, too.

Dorian glances away. The Circlet is still in the center of their camp. With all the spindly thorns, he can’t decide if it looks like its legs are folded neatly beneath it, or if they’re thrown up in the air. 

--

Dorian notices spiders more, now. He’s not sure if it’s true for anyone else. He definitely doesn’t ask Opal about it.

But the dainty little creatures are a lot less innocent to him. Noticing them more means seeing their habits too: how they’ll sit motionless in their webs. Or methodically repair their tapestries. He’s seen them hunt now, too. They never seem to fail: the fly or butterfly or mayfly or dragonfly tangles in the web and then it’s over. And then everything goes still again.

Others watch him, scrambling away when he moves. Those have the biggest eyes, he finds, and almost fly from perch to perch. Light little windwalkers, just like him.

All of this should scare him, it really fucking should. Something deep in the back of his head shivers and recoils. This is dangerous, the stories say. We taught you to fear this. Please do, please do.

Dorian’s tongue pokes, just behind the rightmost molar, and he tastes the bile again. And he can’t do anything but admire them, and what they have, and what they do.

Opal sits a little more still, now. But not quite still enough, he thinks. And she moves erratically, like four limbs are four too few, and - gods, it’s awful. He has to dust out his mind to keep it free of cobwebs. 

He catches himself each time. Or most of the time. And he always turns to Cyrus, and nudges him into a conversation, and studiously ignores the eight eyes watching them both.

--

Spiders don’t eat like this, he knows it, he knows it, he knows it, he’s seen it. 

They restrain and wrap and pierce and and and they leave something whole behind. A little husk you can pretend is a beetle or a moth if you don’t look closely enough. He’s seen it a dozen times. 

He can’t stop seeing his brother in two pieces. He can’t really pretend otherwise. The little bugs, they don't scream. They didn't. He did. He did, his brother did.

And the spiders, the spiders - spider in the purest sense of the word, unhindered by what the world demands of them to survive, uniform. With no place but as villains. 

What does that make Opal? Royalty, probably, outfitted in a bombastic black carapace like a ballgown, skittering legs like a train. The spiders around her like attendants; Fy’ra at her side, making her and the gems gleam with sick light from her hair. A Champion. If there’s one thing villains have going for them, it’s being the star of every fable they show up in.

It could have been him. 

No, not really. Male spiders are disposable - they’re tentative little things looking for love, and then dying quite happily if they get it right or in really, really awful ways if they get it wrong. And maybe that’s not necessarily all that different to him (go to Orym). 

He got the sense Lolth wanted something a little more effective. She’d have eaten him alive. Or Dariax. Or - 

(He can’t say Or Cyrus. Can’t when he’s half-sure that’s what’s happening now.)

Everything hurts. Dorian isn’t sure if it’s from the running or the fighting or the pain in his heart that stretches outward with every breath. Pooling in his temples, the back of his throat, his stomach, his lungs. He wants to cry, but he’s half-sure that if he does webs will pour out. 

So he chokes on the feeling, swallows it whole, and keeps moving. Dorian imagines it burning, lit on fire and shriveling. 

And yet Dariax has no idea what to do. No idea? Like vengeance isn’t the answer, like Cyrus’ body and Opal’s everything weren’t played with by this thing. Like if he doesn’t keep twisting and billowing he’ll be still, and that feeling will come back. 

The strings of his lute feel like web, pulled taut. Wonderful. The tapestry a quiet beauty no longer, given a voice by his hand. What had he thought, about spiders and artists? "Let's put the question in a song," Dorian says, and places it in Dariax's lap. 

Last Dorian tried - tried getting the answer in the form of a tune - it had been the eerie Undercommon lullaby that draped the inside of his head. 

The Spider Queen did have designs on Dariax too, once upon a time. Made his cheerful eyes blank and black, made him wake and sleep back to back with Dorian. But apparently he was still blind, still deaf to the worst of it. Deaf to more than that, actually - Dorian winces at the first painful strum of his poor, poor instrument. But Dariax does not echo that lullaby. 

"I don't know if I'm in a place right now to be fighting gods and monsters," Dariax says, and Dorian smiles and laughs and looks away and anything to not reply we're not in a place to do otherwise. We're already caught in their web. Don't you see?

He feels venomous. Maybe that's what the bile was all along: a deadly little bite of his own. If they're in a web, they'll need a sharp blade to cut it.

Go to Orym, she said (who is she anymore?). Find the Tempest. And he will, he will, this little windwalker will bring the wrath of the storms on these gods and monsters and monsters who are gods. A fitting bookend, given how all this started. 

His hand curls into a fist, a delicate and useless little fist, and he turns invisible. 

[pfffsfic]

Post-Fall Falls False Starts- Chapter 7: The Encounter

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Sarah's story had included- among many, many other things- a detailed physical description of the demon in question. Rob hadn't exactly been lucid for that, and he certainly wasn't entirely lucid now, so the information was locked behind two invisible mental walls that he wouldn't have been able to break even if he had known the information he needed was beyond them.

"I'm Rob," he said with trepidation.

"Rob, huh?" said the triangle. "I'm Bill."

"Bill?"

Rob's eye didn't meet Bill's directly, instead gazing absently at the demon's bow tie, then his hat… and then the mental walls crumbled in turn, first with a faint memory of the outfit Sarah had been wearing earlier and second with a surprisingly robust memory of a previously-forgotten section of the monologue for which he had zoned out. His retreat into memory was abruptly broken up by Bill snapping loudly in his face a few times.

"Sheesh! It takes a special kind of foggy head to zone out in the dreamscape, and I don't mean that as a compliment!"

"Bill Cipher?" Rob asked.

The demon's 'face' contorted for just a second into a red one of seething rage and confusion that faded just as quickly as it had arrived.

"So you know the name. I'm honored, really." He didn't sound honored. "How much else do you know, kid?"

"I know you're a demon."

"By some definitions! And?"

"And…"

The aid his newfound memory granted him quickly reached the end of its usefulness. Either Sarah hadn't brought up anything about Bill's personality or Rob had been so lost for that portion of it that he couldn't salvage the information.

"You're a demon, you show up in dreams, and you can be summoned. …That's it."

"Excellent!" For the first time in the conversation, Bill sounded like he meant it. "Tell me, do you do a lot of traveling?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I haven't left my dimension in ages. Work-related concerns, and all that. I'm trying to live vicariously through you- is that so wrong?"

"Uh…"

"Let me tell you, the Nightmare Realm may be a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there!"

"The Nightmare Realm?"

"Either you're stupid or you're playing stupid," Bill sighed, "One's hilarious, the other not so much. C'mon, make me laugh, would you?"

They shared a tense gaze, and then Bill let out the world's least sincere laugh, giving Rob's the world's least sincere friendly shoulder pat by stretching out his arm.

"Lighten up, kid! I'm messing with you! You know, you're kind of a wet blanket. Squishy, full of water, and unresponsive when it comes to banter." As if to prove his point, Bill poked Rob in the cheek and discovered with a shiver that it was not, in fact, squishy. "Well, at least those last two."

"Oh, excuse me if I'm not suddenly chummy with you, okay? We just met for the first time one minute ago!"

"On the contrary!"

Bill's arm snapped back to its usual length and his body glowed with a series of rapid-fire images that Rob recognized from his dreams over the past week- the flashing colors of his hallucinatory episode after eating that mushroom, the nondescript classroom from his test nightmare, a few other half-remembered bursts of fantasy. Then, for a few seconds, before shifting back into its original yellow hue, it displayed the current scene in real-time from Bill's perspective, almost like looking into a mirror.

"I've been trying to get to you, kid! But every time I have an opening, you either stop dreaming or you wake up! If I didn't know any better-" his eye narrowed- "I'd think you were doing it on purpose."

"I wasn't doing it on purpose, man."

"Say what you want. Look, I'll drop the pretense. I'm gonna get into your mind one way or another, and then it won't matter if you play stupid, because I'll be able to see everything you aren't telling me."

"Aren't we in my mind right now?"

"Ha! We're in your dreams right now. The meat of your mind is elsewhere, both literally and metaphorically! This is basic stuff. Humans, am I right? Uh, 'scuse me, force of habit. Whatever-it-is-that-you are's, am I right?"

"Cyclopes."

"Cyclopes aren't made of untextured polygons and TV static, and they definitely don't dream. Those guys are dumber than a bag of teeth. Having one eye doesn't make you a cyclops, otherwise me, you, and the eye bats would all be on the same level!"

"Eye bats?"

"Point is, we're not on the same level, and you aren't a cyclops."

"I think I would know what I am."

"Trust me, I thought so, too. You're a real edge case."

"If you're so good with this stuff, what would you say I am if not a cyclops?"

"Hmmm."

Bill floated around him in a lazy circle, bringing to mind a pack of hungry wolves.

"Welp," said Bill, "I guess I'll find out when you're at your lowest! If you think I can't see through your game, it's gonna be all that much funnier when I get the upper hand!"

"My game? What on Earth are you talking about?"

"I'll be watching," snapped Bill, vanishing on a bitter note and taking the environment along with him.

"At least Sarah will be happy about this," Rob thought before his lucidity gave way to unconsciousness.

-

"WHAT?"

Sarah grabbed his shoulders and shook. Hard. When Rob had cheerfully broken the news to a drowsy Sarah, he had anticipated many possible reactions, this not among them.

"He visited YOU before ME? That's so not fair!"

She let go of him and flopped down onto an invisible fainting couch with a dramatic flourish and an even more dramatic sigh. Her eyes glimmered with an insincere sort of wetness, akin to the tears of a fairy tale princess upset about being simply too pretty and rich to relate to the common folk. Maybe she was happy in her own special way- she just didn't want Rob to know it.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm over it," she said without even a hint of the earlier negativity. "What did he say to you?"

"Just a bunch of cryptic stuff I couldn't make heads or tails of. I think he thought I was trying to manipulate him."

"And were you?"

"No!"

"It would have been really cool if you were."

"He caught me off-guard, alright?"

"Too late now. Okay, okay, so! Could you tell me everything you remember about what he said? We're gonna get to the bottom of this."

"I remember the first words out of his mouth- or, uh, his eye, I guess- were, 'who the heck are you'?"

"Interesting. Did it seem like a genuine who-are-you or an I-know-who-you-are who-are-you?"

"Genuine, I think."

"Interesting. Very interesting. He doesn't know who you are? That has some iiiinteresting implications."

"I told him my name- was I not supposed to do that?"

"First name or full name?"

"First name only."

Rob had gotten a surname for himself- Wrecker- a while back during a period of time he disliked thinking about. It was the only legal surname he'd ever had as far as he could remember (with the exception of the fake identity he'd invented to run for the school board), but it felt like a pseudonym even so. Perhaps, he thought, that was because his arch-nemesis had come up with it. If he had to pick his own evil moniker, what would it be? Would the word 'evil' with a few tweaks to the pronunciation really still cut it? Sure, he might stoop that low for someone else's name, but his own?

"I don't think he gets power over you if he has your name. That's fairies. But hey! There's a lot I don't know about him."

"I'm surprised there's anything you don't know about him."

"Well, two seasons can only tell you so much. That's why I'm here- to pick his mind and get some answers!"

"I don't think he seems like the sort of person who would be an open book about that kind of thing, but I guess you know him better than me."

"Oh, trust me, I have my ways of getting through to him. I'm like a therapist- I can get people to freak out and unintentionally say things that reveal their deepest, darkest secrets!"

"I don't think that's what therapists do."

"Well, it's what I do. Call it serapy."

"Like Sarah plus therapy?"

"Like stalking- I mean, supervision- plus therapy! Secrets beget more secrets. If they can't hide from you, they won't want to try and hide from you, and they'll tell you anything to get you to keep quiet! But Sarah plus therapy is good too."

"Sounds like blackmail."

"By some definitions."

"By all definitions!"

"Maybe so, maybe so. But blackmail makes it sound so serious!"

"Like how 'stalking' sounds so serious?"

"Don't tell me you've never done that to your nemeses."

"I spy on my nemeses. It's a villain thing- it's different. And less creepy."

"What's the difference?"

"The- the- the principle of the thing! The motivation! Hate is different from love. Have you ever hated anybody? Like really hated them?"

"I-"

"No, you haven't. I can tell from the innocence in your eyes."

"Innocence? Oh, trust me, there's no innocence here."

She leaned in with one eye to his and grinned like a serial killer in a horror movie, letting out her best creepy giggle- a laugh that sent chills down Rob's spine against his will.

"Point made. But-! it's still a different thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Whatever you say, Rich."

She patted him on the head. He didn't comment on that last thing- he was over that- he would not let it get to him- he knew better-

"It's Rob," he muttered.

"I know," she replied.

-

Against Rob's wishes, Sarah had gone and fetched more of the white mushrooms to roast them over the fire for breakfast. It took a few hours of Sarah swearing up and down that she wasn't hallucinating even a little bit before Rob finally decided eating one was worth the risk, and even then, he took small bites at twenty-minute intervals just in case. Their interactions were short, sweet, and heavy on the back-and-forth, and when one ended there would be a long period of peaceful silence before the next one started up. By the end of the day he had recounted his entire meeting with Bill to an inquisitive Sarah. Much to his appreciation (and annoyance), she was a much better listener than he was.

Rob's meeting with Bill had been heavily recontextualized by the information he learned. For one thing, Bill was a villain ('What?' he had asked. 'Why do you care? You're a villain too, aren't you?' she had replied), he lived in a decaying world called the Nightmare Realm that, much like the dimension Rob himself had once been trapped in, acted as a depository for forgotten things, he was a conman who made what Sarah called 'typical demony deals', he knew a lot of things (but not who Rob was, a fact that Sarah suspected bothered him), and he had a big and enthusiastic fanbase. That last one was less so useful info about Bill and moreso useful info about Sarah. It had also come up that eye bats were essentially eyeballs with wings (Sarah described them as 'the sort of demon that would appear on William's hypothetical shoulder if he needed to make a tough moral decision) and that Bill could see through images of his likeness and also trees- definitely birch trees, but, since there were no birch trees in the clearing, Sarah mentioned that she hoped his powers extended to other sorts of trees with holes as well. Rob plugged every tree hole in the clearing with dirt just in case. Sarah let him, but carved a little eye of providence into the bark of a nearby evergreen, apparently rendering his work irrelevant.

They discussed how one sasquatch could feed them for days, and then how to kill a sasquatch, and then how one giant ice cream cone could also feed them for days, and then the conversation topic shifted to if Rob was edible or not. He insisted he was no longer organic. She insisted they would have to try, to know for sure. Rob threatened her with the crowbar and said, 'You'll scream before I scream'. She laughed- hopefully at the quip and not because his failure to intimidate was funny.

Their final topic of the night was how that human had reacted to seeing Rob.

"It could just have been a weird little gag," said Sarah. "Somehow I doubt everybody you meet is gonna react the same way. That'd be boring, you know? But if you want to test it out I have an idea."

"An idea?"

"Yeah! I want you to go into town and try to steal a TV and a generator!"

"What, you wanna watch TV here?" Rob sat up, wide-eyed. He had been thinking about doing the exact same thing! He had wanted to determine if his own universe existed as fiction within this one. Could Sarah really have come to that same conclusion? "Why?"

"I have a DVD on me that could help us survive here."

"Like a wilderness survival show, or something?"

"Not exactly. I was honestly gonna keep it a secret, but now you know everything else and we're kind of living together like an old married couple, by which I mean we sort of hate each other but there's also love there-"

"No there's not."

"Friendship, then."

Rob sighed. Maybe there was friendship there. How long had it been since he had a friend? Was this really friendship if it was born of necessity? Did they need each other? He had survived fine the first week on his own, save for that time with the mushrooms.

"I'll go into town tomorrow. We'll see if I can steal one for you."

"You are the best. Thanks so much."

"Don't thank me! I have secret ulterior motives."

"Oooh, tell me about them."

"They're a secret," he said, and then he closed his eye and pretended to be asleep.

[rpmemes-galore]

Discworld ... sentence starters

“I'm your worst nightmare!“

“And if the truth is terrible?“

“I'm not a lady. I'm a witch.“

“Cake is not the issue here.”

“I assure you I will not kill you.”

“Good. No preconceived ideas.“

“I am so fed up with being young.”

“Is this a dagger I see before me?“

“The money should be on the inside.“

“It’s a sword! It’s not meant to be safe!”

“I hope you're not going to kill anyone.”

“History needs shepherds, not butchers.“

“I’ve heard of them. Bloody dangerous things.”

“Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.“

“When you break rules, break 'em good and hard.“

“People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.“

“The answer is that, terrible or not, it is still the truth.”

“It's like chess, you know. The Queen saves the King.“

“I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.“

“We walk out of here unharmed or the girl gets it, all right?“

“Don't put your faith in gods. But you can believe in turtles.“

“You’re saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable.“

“Oh, all true. Most of them. A bit of exaggeration, but mostly true.“

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever.”

“You've haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.“

“You cannot fool me anymore. Or touch me. Or anything that is mine.”

“You had to find the truth for yourself. That is how we all find the truth.“

“I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead.“

“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”

“It's not gambling to play against someone who's no good. It's common sense.“

“You mean... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?“

“I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.“

“She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.”

“Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time.“

“You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.“

“You forced the world to give it to you, no matter the price, and the price is and always will be high...“

“Sometimes the moon is light and sometimes it's in shadow, but you should always remember it's the same moon.“

“What we're going to do is keep the peace. That's our job. We're not going to be heroes, we're just going to be... normal.”

“But you've found it, even if at the time you didn't know what it was you were finding, and you grabbed it by its scrawny neck and made it work for you.“

���No-one likes being told it's their lucky day. That sort of thing does not bode well. When someone tells you it's your lucky day, something bad is about to happen.“

“You think there are the good people and the bad people. You are wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.“

“Odd thing, ain't it... you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of the people. And it snarls.”

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Reflecting on my work in 2022

As this official Hell Of A Year™ draws to a close, I guess it is appropriate to both reflect on what I've been doing this year, as well as do a bit of plugging for work which I am proud of.

So here's a list of some of the videos I made this year, along with some thoughts on their creation and how I feel about them, some self-criticism, some behind-the-scenes, and a little self-congratulation where it is appropriate.

I struggle somewhat with memory and a clear sense of time - to me, time is more of a continuous stream than a series of delineated moments. This is often frustrating - I get lost in it, and when I look back on a list of my work and activities, it is less an experience of "oh yeah, ha ha, that happened" and more of a "wait what do you mean that happened then? And before that other thing? But after that one? What the hell?"

Worst case scenario, it can be kinda distressing, honestly. It feels out of control, anxiety inducing, like I don't have a handle on my life.

... which is an absolutely fantastic tone to strike for a New Year's list of my favourite videos. 2023, woo!

The Boss Designs of Bloodborne Finale (February)

It took me nearly three months after the penultimate episode of the series to finally put this video out. My The Boss Designs Of series is some of the best work I've ever created, at least I think so. It's certainly some of the most creatively fulfilling work I do, and some of the most challenging too.

I try to walk a line between providing a fresh perspective on the games I've played for the series, but not getting contrarian or off-the-wall just for the sake of it. With Bloodborne, I do think I managed some really good critical contributions to the readings of the game, like my reading of the Blood-starved Beast as a self-sacrificing martyr for the beast community of Old Yharnam, which was apparently quite novel, or my crackpot Parasite Theory of Bloodborne's madness.

And I do think I've gotten better and better at editing gameplay footage too, I think I've managed to learn a good balance between joke-edits and continuity and story editing. I always kinda fret on the one hand that the gameplay footage and my live commentary is too boring to stand on its own, and on the other hand that editing in too many jokes and gags would just be obnoxious and tedious to sit through.

The thing Bloodborne nails more than any other horror game I've seen is the sensation of the nightmare. And not just in its visuals or its monster designs or the surface storytelling, but in the push and pull between extremely specific imagery and story beats and complete ambiguity the moment you scratch at the surface. Bloodborne is on the one hand a fairly obvious story about the abuses of organized religion and unethical science, but then underneath that there's also this deep obsession with the violence done to women's bodies specifically, and how that violence spills out and caustically eats into the humanity of everyone who is complicit in it.

And then underneath that there's an exploration of birth trauma, where the Great Ones are parental figures as incomprehensible to the player as parents are to a newborn child, pushing you here and pulling you there and inflicting incomprehensible violations of your bodily autonomy out of apparent sympathy.

And underneath all of that... it's also about how cool it would be to transform into a werewolf, actually. The themes of self-creation and transformation and claiming monsterhood as self-empowerment are incredibly queer and especially apt for trans readings.

It all flows together in this soup of imagery and meaning that I cannot crystalize into a unifying Theory of Bloodborne, no definitive reading, no comprehensive hot take. Which is frustrating when you're trying to create a video essay, but infinitely compelling when trying to think about it.

I don't know that I managed to capture all of that in the The Boss Designs of Bloodborne finale, but I do know that I tried to, and I'm proud of that.

Melina, the Maiden - Boss Designs of Elden Ring #1 (March)

Staying with The Boss Designs of, here's a video about which my feelings have become decidedly mixed. Not because of anything that is in the episode, mind you, but out of a certain disempowered bitterness I've developed about Elden Ring over the course of the year.

I cannot overstate how excited I was for Elden Ring, and how desperately I enjoyed finally getting to play it back in March. It's a brilliant game, an incredibly immersive world, and one which I badly want to return to.

... and then I didn't get to play the game for nine months. It was partly my own mistake - I tried recording an absolute ton of footage for episodes early, playing as much of the game as I could while it was still fresh, hoping to put out a lot of episodes of the series early while the game was fresh and Relevant In The Algorithm™, and also just out of sheer excitement. In so doing, though, I ended up shooting myself in the foot, because as I began to edit episodes together I also found myself feeling more and more distant from the experience of playing.

The pile of footage in front of me, begging to be converted into episodes, became a roadblock of work looming over me, a source of guilt and stress and frustration, that put extra stress on my mind every time I tried to make any other video and which stood between me and getting to play more of the game I have anticipated more than any other for years.

In 2023, I will get back to Elden Ring, I swear to god I will, but in the meantime I am quite happy with how the three episodes I've made of this series so far have turned out.

Also, the new intro song I commissioned from @trewatsonmusic absolutely slaps.

What's the deal with Zeri and Neon (June)

My ambition for the What's the Deal videos has always been to expand them beyond League of Legends (and I have done videos on characters from other things), but being a YouTuber is also my job, and League of Legends is the moneymaking subject on my channel, at least for now.

Not that I resent that. For all that League deserves the criticism it gets, I still insist that it has one of the greatest casts of characters in modern gaming, underserved and ignored though most of them are by Riot Games. There's so much to talk about once you get even a little bit under the surface, and I do feel like I've been doing a better and better job at doing that in the What's the Deal videos over 2022. Zeri, for example, is a fantastic addition to the class warfare dynamics of Piltover and Zaun, especially in her conflict with Renata Glasc and the themes that could be explored through that conflict. And it's not lost of me the extent to which she was a direct response to the xenophobic attacks on Asian-Americans that have surged out of American politics in recent years, either. There is value to proclaiming that someone like Zeri belongs in the worlds of big pop culture institutions like League of Legends, even if (as always) it is the workers at Riot Games making that proclamation, and Riot Games Inc. allowing it because it serves their commercial goals.

I brought in Nickyboi for an assist on this one as well, which is something I want to do more. I want to do more collaboration. First of all because it's nice to offload work to someone else, but also because this job is fundamentally kind of lonely. I'm just a guy in his office making videos 99% of the time, and collaborating with a fellow creator feels like being part of a creative community in a way that solo work and shitposting at each other on Twitter simply doesn't.

And I am proud of the little fanfiction snippets I've started writing in the The Future segments. One of the points of the What's the Deal videos is to communicate to an audience why I'm excited about a character, why I feel like they're worth giving a shit about, and I think those fanfiction segments have done a better job at getting that across than almost all of my character design and animation chatter. Plus, it's nice to flex a bit of creative muscle in that way now and then.

Speaking of which, I still need to write that happier ending for Kai'sa and Taliyah, don't I? I have A Plan™ for that, it's just about finding the time to make it real...

The 15 Most Beautiful Splash Arts in League of Legends (September)

This one is easily the biggest surprise of the year for me. In the latter half of 2022, I took quite a lot of sponsorships - first of all because they were offered (good lord there was a rush of them in August!), but also because I really wanted to save up and pay down debts.

One of the consequences of that was the extreme delay of Elden Ring, but another was that all of a sudden I had to get content out on a very set schedule. Most of my work is done on the steam of Whatever Catches My Creative Attention At The Time, but with a deadline hanging over my head, suddenly I had to find video ideas whether they presented themselves naturally or not.

I feared that a list-video would be a turn-off for my audience, I feared that it would be seen as shallow and tacky, like a 2010s Buzzfeed listicle. I feared that people just wouldn't be interested in the kind of art analysis I like to do, or would find it pretentious to seek meaning in what is - let's be real - commercial artwork meant to promote game cosmetics.

The benefit of a sponsorship is that the video has already made a profit, whether it does well or not, and I thought that in making this video, I was being self-indulgent and "ignoring" the desires of my audience.

Instead, it's one of the best performing videos ever on my channel, and people have cited it as a favorite among my videos quite a number of times.

Which was really... encouraging, honestly. I didn't expect it, but this video really did give me a confidence boost that the things I care about and find interesting do have an audience, even extra-nerdy rambling about League of Legends cosmetics.

Building a Better Soraka (September)

Building a Better is a series title I sometimes regret a little bit, because no matter how much I try to explain in the videos themselves that there is no such thing as a perfect character design and that my revisions and ideas are not meant to be definitive in any way, I always get comments from people accusing me of declaring myself The God of Character Design and sitting in holy judgment over the work I'm critiquing.

To an extent, I guess that's unavoidable on the internet, but... maybe the series title was a bad gamble on that front.

I do stand by, though, that my designs have a reasonable argument that they are improvements over the originals. Arguments that can be interrogated and criticized, but valid, reasonaed arguments, not mere polemics.

Building a Better Soraka was an experiment in creating the series, as instead of working with a single artist to iterate on design improvements, I ended up commissioning more than a half dozen people for artwork and using different renditions to make my argument. It did hurt the coherency of the video a little, I feel, but it did open me up to a much more flexible way to produce videos like it in the future, which I'm happy with.

Plus, I really do like what I came up with here, and I adore the ways that @sabtherobot, @sinizade and @lekyrin executed my ideas and brought their own visions of the character. Soraka is a character who deserves a lot better than the basic design she's stuck with, and whose story can do so much more visually than Riot is willing to allow it to do.

"Not Without You" - the story of Nasus and Renekton (November)

Of all the writing I did this year, this is by far what I am most proud of.

The video itself did not perform very well, nor did I expect it to, but the reactions I saw from the audience on this piece... yeah. That filled a very hungry part of my heart, I'm not gonna lie.

Writing a novel is a life ambition for me, as it is for many people. Actually writing it is a lot more elusive, though, in part because I struggle to feel confidence that my writing would ever hold up to the scrutiny of an audience. I struggle to feel that I would ever be able to connect emotionally with people, that I would be able to make what I feel sensible through writing.

This story proved that I can. Not to a big audience, perhaps, and I certainly don't have any delusions of genius or grandeur. I do not ever expect to be a famous or fêted writer, nor an important one. But... I do feel like with this story, I proved that I can at least be a competent one, which is frankly all I want.

And Nasus and Renekton were grateful subjects, too. Their story is naturally deeply emotional, albeit strangled by Riot's chronic indifference towards their most compelling narratives, and a lot of what I ended up exploring in there did come from a very genuine place in myself. It was nice to touch that part of my soul, and make something out of it, even if it's only silly fanfiction for a silly video game.

I am cautiously optimistic about 2023

Looking back over the videos I made this year, while I have a lot of work that I am proud of, I also see a lot of videos that I think I made less out of a desire to make them and more out of a fear of not making them. Videos that I made because I felt like the audience expected it, because the algorithm demanded it, because rent is always coming due and I am petrified of ever being broke again.

This is normal and natural, it is to some extent just the nature of the creative process under a capitalist market system where your work must always have some sort of price tag. But... I don't want to keep doing it. If I have an ambition for 2023, it is to make more of the videos I want to make, more videos that I only I can make. To give myself a little bit of a break and ease up on the self-recrimination and stress.

I have so many projects I want to get to, and being in my 30s I am becoming more and more conscious that while I (hopefully) have something like twice my current lifetime left to create the things I want, time is a finite resource, and spending it trying to please a website algorithm probably won't do me that much good in the end.

Anyway, some other things I did which I am quite proud of:

Played through God of War: Ragnarök while telling stories about the mythology of my childhood.

Ran around the world of Eorzea, accompanied by some of the funniest, silliest and most generous FFXIV players a man could dream of.

Finished a Pokémon HeartGold Nuzlocke with possibly the most nerve-wracking finish I have ever had to a Pokémon game

Reviewed every single Gen 1 Pokémon

Finished Great Ace Attorney Chronicles 1, probably the let's play with the most voice acting I have ever done. Some of it is even good!

If you've read this far, thank you so much for your time, your attention, your interest and your indulgence. Your 2023 be a good year, and may the tides of history wash gently over us all.

[tiny-flickers]

i actually wrote down all my thoughts as i listened to the sounds of nightmares and i thought they would be funny to share so here (instagram followers have already seen this but.)

all under cut bc i’m just gonna post it all at once (brackets are things i added later)

—————

ch 1: the workers in the walls

“patient number 1220… referring to children by numbers…….” is SOOOO CRAZY LMFAOO 😭 they know what they did there

imagine being named “no one” (noone) bro that is crazy. that’s even sadder than “mono” because at least he is SOMEBODY. like ik that’s not her actual name but the fact that that’s what she chose as her alias…

“otto” sounds a bit similar to “mono” idk [no it does not?? idk what i was going on about here]

i wonder if noone’s nightmare of being trapped inside a giant relates at all to the giant baby that’s going to appear in ln3

i wonder if she’s talking about the wax bellman (who was removed from the games but still has a portrait in the maw) when she describes the guy who appears in that room in her nightmare [she wasn’t btw]

the shadow children???? or glitched remains perhaps

the music & audio is very maw-like

gears?? making a song???? the giant is totally some sort of living music box or whatever. & she keeps describing the area as being made of stone and it’s sort of implied in the ln3 trailer that the giant baby turns people into stone so…

noone distinctly smelling this chained up guy and saying that he smells of sausages gone badly is sooo guestcore

perhaps the world of little nightmares is an alternate dimension which one can access through dreams

the lady??? noone describes her as being the keeper of the stone giant and the world beyond the walls

AND describes her face as being equally old and young

or perhaps the “stone giant” IS the maw [it’s not]

“the ceiling was a white clock face, but all the numbers were wrong” time loop reference fr

oh yeah this is a prison

so it’s gotta be the maw or something similar at least (but it doesn’t seem to be a boat so)

ok when the mysterious lady appears and gets noone’s dream friend the lady attack music from the first game plays which definitely makes me think she is the actual lady. and she’s covered in chains because she herself is a prisoner if you think about it (especially considering the six/lady connection)

and noone describes her mouth as having “blackened teeth inside; hungry for something” which further emphasizes the connection

^^“…something that swelled inside me” she wanted her SOUL fr!!!!!

noone saying that she feels like she doesn’t exist sometimes :( probably why she chose the name

also “water sickness”???? silo??? [silo trilogy reference]

she thinks she’s possessed by bugs or whatever and idk if that will connect to ln3 or what [more like parasites but.]

mutual dreaming bro what if that’s what happened with six and mono

see cuz “cece” kinda sounds like “six” too (i mean i’ve already seen theories about this but)

ch 2: a penance at the bathhouse

“the candleman” has GOTTA be the wax guy [except he’s not…. the name really threw me off here]

noone says she likes moths. there are big moths that can be seen in cages in ln2

noone’s nightmare!!! maw reference!!! she saw an ocean and saw a bunch of boats coming out?? “and from their mouths, plump men and women emerged. faces hidden behind wooden masks” ITS THE GUESTSSSS!!!! are all these “fish-like contraptions” part of the maw then?

also she mentions that they’re going to a “lantern-lit market” which might be what we saw in the ln3 trailer???

“a voice whispered ‘hey!’” LN2 REFERENCE

“gazing into its spiral always gave me relief” no man you are going to be hypnotized!!!! hypnotherapy is a bad idea in the little nightmares world!!!!!!!!!!

noone saying that the candleman wants her to open herself to this world and that he’s been with her all along…… i feel like that sort of connects to the wax bellman’s profession LMAO [HELP]

makes sense that these guests would be obsessed with cleansing and purification considering the masks and the fact that they were likely warped by the signal tower

“i was quite happy surrounded by the dark” six energy

ch 3: the theater of the mind

yippee!! [I FORGOT TO DELETE THIS ONE LMAO]

“in the dark, a hand let go of mine” SIX & MONO REFERENCE

noone being trapped in this big shopping mall is kinda giving fnaf security breach tbh

mannequins…. no……… not again….

the projector shaped like a giant eye??? like in the maw??

THEY CALLED HER NO ONE :(( NOOOOO THATS WHAT HER BULLIES CALLED HER NOO

no wonder she chose that name

“this place had been warped by pain” “even the walls began throbbing” definitely related to the signal tower

“don’t take her. not this one, too” ok but what if that’s like. mono or something trying to get someone to stay with him in his nightmare [it’s not but that would be cool]

ok so noone was on tv probably because of her sickness thing but the fact that tvs are such a prominent thing in the ln world also makes it suspicious….

ok so otto’s professor was like what if there’s other realities beyond our perception guys lol [ln multiverse]

ch 4: two of a kind

oh ok so he kinda does believe that noone is traveling to another reality/world at night not only because of her nightmares but because her body keeps disappearing before his eyes….

guys this would be so crazy for my ln/dracula au [LMAOOO]

she’s going into the upside down fr

guys they’re going on a ferris wheel

is this like the carnival place that’s gonna be in ln3

“it’s nowhere” that’s the world the games are set in!!!

not sure if this means that six & the other characters are just dreaming or if noone is just in a world parallel to theirs

perhaps cece is a previous version of the lady

wait he just said “the ferryman” ????? not the candleman?? like the ferryman from little nightmares???!!! the guy who took six to the maw??!?!?!1!?! [guys no way it’s the ferryman from little nightmares]

ok yes i’m thinking now that the nowhere is a parallel universe

ch 5: a deluge of the inevitable

i guess it would make sense that the candleman/ferryman is the guardian between worlds since he’s sort of like. someone who delivers people between places (like six to the maw) plus the two characters do look similar… the ferryman could totally be the candleman but just wearing a mask [i was too fixated on the wax bellman thing]

noone has a tumor???? wtf!!?? :( is this because of the water sickness or whatever

nome???? ITS A NOME!!!!! THERES A NOME IN THE SEWERS!!!!!

“little mushroom fairy” awww

“the first non-hostile being you’ve met that wasn’t another child” oh buddy do i have something to tell you

“you believe this place transformed him?” YES THE SIGNAL TOWER DID IT!!!!

BRO IS GETTING POSSESSED BY THE SIGNAL TOWER LMFAOOOO

ok so otto created this contraption that allows noone’s dreams to be projected onto a screen

but the screen was all blinding and static-y and showed a creepy eye looking at him….

the signal tower’s transmissions are gonna leak into your world bro do you have any idea what you’ve done [it didn’t really but. this would have been an interesting way the story could have gone]

ch 6: the lonely way

she reappeared somewhere that was not her bed?? weird

nawww he’s just using her now

i was wondering why otto was calling the candleman the ferryman but it’s because that’s what cece called him… and that’s what we know him by because of six…

“a doctor’s coat, a pink tutu and shoes, and a yellow raincoat”

THE RAINCOAT BROOO (and ik otto reacted strangely to the fact that it was yellow which is why ppl think cece is six but i’m not sure yet)

“tan trenchcoat” that is SO mono

“a shape in the distance. an outline of a door,” DONT OPEN IT DONT OPEN ITTT!!!!!

“it’s a liquid” it’s the signal tower goop! do not open the door bff!!!!

I KNEW THE DOOR WAS GOIJG TO HAVE AN EYE ON IT GOD DAMN IT DONT OPEN IT!!! THE THJN MAN IS IN THERE!!!

ahh shit the door is creaking open

wait the candleman is behind the door? not the thin man?? maybe this specific door is the bridge between the worlds then (bc noone said it didn’t have a doorknob on it which i’m pretty sure it did in the game)

“where is my sister” wait is cece his sister :00

ohh that’s why noone asked if the picture otto had was of his daughter because she looked so young…. but he just lost her at a really young age

the stairs are going every direction at once?? this HAS to be the signal tower. or some dream-like manifestation of it at least

all the stars noone sees in this place are EYES i KNEW it!!! the facade is crumbling!! it’s the signal tower!!!!!!

the door merging into faces of children… probably the children that were taken to feed the signal tower….

nawww he’s going to start experimenting on another kid now 😭

wait so did the candleman just… take noone away????? I NEED MORE EXPLANATION HELLO??????

wait if it was the lady that was the weird mannequin it would make sense for her to have the raincoat in her chest wouldn’t it because of the pictures in her chambers of (possibly) rcg???

so if rcg IS her daughter then she probably would’ve gotten the raincoat from her

or maybe CECE is rcg….

idk i’m going to have to look up more theories now

[spewing my ‘rcg=flashlight girl and the lady’s daughter’ nonsense]

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Midnight Meeting

Not Natural

The Devil's Trap

Holy Water

The Demon's Altar

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: SPN inspired, ABO dynamics (slick, knots, heats), demon Kells, hunter Dom, threats, fear, PTSD, nightmares, panic attack, mentions of curses and childhood abuse, cuddles, teasing, silly come-ons, needy boys, descriptions of post sex messes ⚰️ rating: mature

Kells watched as the human he was preternaturally drawn to drifted off to sleep. He could smell the sensual combination of the boy's slick and his own seed still hot and dripping between Dom's thick thighs and he had to fight himself not to play. He knew how lightly the Hunter slept, he was always on alert and never truly rested. That might make it hard for a surprise morning blowjob but for the moment he could be good. The back of his mind was circling with his actions, he was still surprised at everything that had happened between them and part of him wondered if the kid would wake up hating him again. If that happened he would definitely play- he hoped his new friend just needed a steady diet of good sex to make him stop being such a bitch. Speciesist sexy little fuck.

He groaned low as he rolled over onto his back. He was a demon, he couldn't live with himself if he sat there watching a human sleep all night. No matter how gorgeous Dominic was. He normally loved the fact he couldn't sleep, it kept his time free for more deals, death, and partying, but for the first time in centuries he wondered what it might be like to wake up next to someone. He never wanted to find out what his dreams would look like though. He'd already spent time in hell.

The world outside their little room lit up from a lightning strike that made his hair raise on end. His eyes rolled and his hand waved to soundproof the room and keep his lover at peace but with one last longing look he pushed himself out of bed. On his way to the door he grabbed the first pair of underwear he saw and smirked to himself when the scent of Dom accosted his senses. He summoned a cigarette as he slipped out the door and snapped his fingers to light it. The air outside felt thick with electricity and the air reeked of sulfur. The reminder of home rolled his stomach but he refused to show his distress.

"Keliphos. I should have known I'd find you here. You always did like stealing from your betters." A voice came out of the darkness and he fought himself not to growl. He fucking hated demons but this one in particular needed a good dose of holy water up his urethra. He took a drag and blew it out slowly, clenching his fist to keep himself calm. "Do you like my- how do they say- sloppy seconds? You know the boy is mine."

Kells turned, his glare flashing to its natural state as he searched out the bastard in the shadows. He wished he had the weaponry to kill his enemy but that was something he and Dom would have to search out. It was the whole reason he talked to the boy to begin with, only a human could find it. He hated shit guarded by magic. Now though he was driven by so much more and it made his rage a hot flame in his stomach. "You never owned him, you tried to steal a child and you failed. Why did you even want him? Why turn him into that?" He didn't mean to sound like he cared, that was dangerous for both of them but he couldn't seem to stop it.

"Oh? You don't like what he is? Your appearance and stench beg to differ." Finally the other demon stepped out of the shadows and came close. Not close enough for the dick punch he deserved but near enough Kells could see him. The meat suit he inhabited was something young and beautiful, he just hoped the obviously teen boy was doing alright.

"Still up to the same bullshit I see. Dom's too old for you now. Move the fuck on." He growled low, trying not to lash out.

"Keliphos, you know he's special. You can feel it. Unless you find a way to ruin him, eventually I will take him. Eventually he will come to me willingly."

Kells laughed, he couldn't help it. There was no way Dom would go to him and he found the idea of ruining someone too medieval. "Stop calling me that and just move on. If you don't, I swear to you, I'll kill you."

It was the other demon's turn to laugh, the sound was too high pitched for the evil he knew was in the monster, but he had always possessed young boys to lure others. Kells was just happy he never had to deal with that. "You know together we could do so much. The offer to join me is always open. I might even let you keep him once I'm done." With that the ancient teen monster disappeared in a shock of lightning and Kells cursed under his breath, put out his cigarette, and turned back to stalk quietly into the hotel room. He couldn't tell Dom what had transpired but he definitely wouldn't leave. He might never be able to take his eyes off the human again.

His gaze settled back to his human lie as he stared down at the beautiful boy in question. Astaroth was right about one thing, he was very special but he had started thinking it was because of the curse. If that wasn't true… he was almost more scared of him. He was old enough he hated mysteries, this was just one he wasn't sure how to solve without pissing the Hunter off more. He didn't think the kid would actually want to open up and talk. It didn't seem like conversation was what he wanted from their… friendship. It didn't matter, he would just stay close and find out in time. It wasn't like staying with the human was torture.

Dom gasped awake like every day, his chest tight, his heart racing, sweat soaking every inch of him. He sat straight up in bed and tried not to cry out too loud but as his fuzzy gaze searched the dark room something touched him. He jumped, full body trembling, but the touch curled tightly around him and he wondered momentarily where he left his knife. "Shit Dom I'm sorry. I'm right here. Breathe for me?" A rasped voice whispered in his ear and the scent that hit his nose was… comforting?

"Kells!" The memory of the past few days fought their way through his anxiety induced brain fog. He never had someone close to help when he woke from a nightmare but with the demon holding him he could actually breathe.

Dom crumpled against his chest, that pretty face pressing against his neck, and while he wasn't used to comforting anything he tried. "It's okay. He can't have you. I've got you. Told you I'd watch over you." He soothed, petting down the human's sweat slick spine. The boy was overwhelming like this, his pheromones strong and cloying. He could fucking taste him on the back of his tongue and more than anything he wanted to distract him but he didn't think it was the time.

"S'not 'im. Not jus' 'im." Dom tried to speak but his chest felt too tight. He didn't think the beast he took to bed would care or understand his past though. His life has never been nice or normal and it had definitely never been healthy. He had only been so easily swayed by the monster when he was younger because he was so desperate to get away from home. Most nights he dreamed of some dark combination of his parents and the bastard who cursed him. It was nothing new but actually being calmed after it was surprising.

He sighed softly and pulled back enough to look at the creature he should be stabbing but Kells just smiled at him and something in his belly flipped. "Can still feel yas." He whispered before he could stop himself and that smile turned to a smirk. His cheeks burned hot but he felt that heat between his thighs flow and something about knowing it was him and Kells mixed together got him even hotter.

"You like that?" The demon purred, his fingers drifting lower on the boy's spine until he was ghosting just over his ass. "You have dimples?" He hummed, but he wouldn't move his lover to look yet, obviously Dom needed the connection. Maybe he did too after his midnight meeting.

"Shut up. No I don't." Dom blushed hotter but the wanker teased his fingers inside the little dips and it tickled him enough he jumped.

"Scary badass demon hunter has dimples." Kells sing-songed softly. He knew they hadn't known each other long enough to tease but he always teased. "Don't worry, I won't tell." He started to lean closer to kiss the boy but Dom pulled back a little and placed his hand on the demon's inked chest.

"Wait, tha' wasn't jus' a one time fing?" He didn't know if he wanted it to be or not but he was surprised. The monster seemed like a hit it and quit it kind of guy.

Kells watched as the boy nibbled his lower lip, his anxiety was obviously still up and he knew he needed to say the right thing or he'd fuck up whatever they were building. If they were building anything. Besides, he needed the human. For revenge purposes of course. That was all. "I'm not done with you yet. If you're not done with me?" He offered. It wasn't too sweet which he knew would scare the boy off and it wasn't too standoffish. It was simple and honest and left a world of possibilities open wide. Like he wanted the kid's legs to be.

"I… shite. I should tell you to fuck off again. I should make you go but… maybe a pet demon wouldn't be so bad." A smile tugged at his lips, it was a dangerous game but maybe he could play it. At least for a while. He'd never recovered from his nightmares so fast and… maybe he enjoyed the sex just a little bit.

"Pet demon, huh?" Kells purred, his hand slinking down to grope hard at Dom's perky ass. He was shocked when the boy squeaked but it was oddly heartwarming. Dom was special. Dom was human. Right? "How about instead I be the master, and you sit?" He winked, sealing his lips over the Hunter's before he could tell him off.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤

I hope this was good, I'm feeling pretty ick but I don't want to get too far off schedule. I have a bad case of brain fog though so I really hope this was coherent. Astaroth is icky, but how do they know each other? How is Dom special? Do y'all deserve a little more porn with your plot as a treat? Hope you like it! ⚰️🖤

[eye-of-yelough]

uhhh what would ur other ocs think of gort (me personally i love thinking about how he would break each one of my characters mentally & physically in a way specifically crafted entirely for them but that’s not an ask i should send i think)

so i thought the question was “how would gortash manipulate your ocs” and answered that question as well so. you’re getting the answer to both cos i don’t wanna delete. its kinda long so 👇

Leo Hawke, Dragon Age 2: kill kill kill bite devour mutilate. Gortash is everything he hates and everything she wants to be. cool, commanding, smart, feared, respected, loved, powerful. swag off the charts, i know he’d love the outfit.

How he’d manipulate him: easy. kill the only family he has left, Anders and Isabela, or keep them from her. actually yeah locking Anders up in solitary confinement, somewhere he spent an entire year before, that she regularly holds him about when he gets claustrophobic or has nightmares about. the thought of Anders in a small dark cell all alone with his thoughts would break him and he’d simply do Anything to ensure he’s not in there a moment longer than he has to be :/ that being said her first instinct would simply be to kill the man, and he’d definitely try, even if it’s a dumb idea. and honestly not to hype my own oc up too much but if anyone could, it’d be her. one woman (not really a woman) army of a reaver when a loved one is on the line. monster. could probably cleave his way through a dozen lackeys and at least 2 steel watchers solo before getting tired, and that’s only if they’re even in the way.

Slater Adaar, Dragon Age Inquisition: she’d be smart enough to know to be terrified of him. just be a useful tool while keeping as much distance as possible and keeping an eye out for the exits at all times. run at the first opportunity, no heroics.

How he’d manipulate her: i am realising i don’t actually know her all too well. autistic qunari sera romancing artificer pursedog butch lesbian who just wants a normal life away from politics and armies and magic and sainthood, damnit. that’s all i’ve really got on her. so, i guess using the promise of a normal life. tell ya what, she’d make a great deep cover secret agent. she is definitely an oc i could stand to make more interesting lmao

Vice, Skyrim: competition, quite simply. he has a thing about dragon imagery, right? subtler than the sun stuff, but it’s there? but is it about being a dragon himself, or subduing them. either way, they’d scoff at his posturing. underestimate him for sure, letting their ego and lack of respect for humans stop them from being smart. they have lawful evil no empathy aroace megalomaniac in common, so they’d definitely have an interesting time together :)

How he’d manipulate them: power. specifically the power to do their human experiments in peace. freedom from legal consequence, basically. it would be difficult to dominate or even get a good read on Vice and their desires tho, even for Gort. i mean. they don’t speak. and have pretty good control over their emotions. they’d be playing psychological 4D chess and it would be so entertaining. (remembers it doesn’t have to manipulation, it can be about breaking physically) OH YEAH. YEAH that’s the one. it would still be HARD to keep them down, draconic force of nature that they are, but i’m sure the gorster would be able to figure something out.

uhh . oh man is that all my ocs. i mean no, there’s my newish tav, “we have Romeo’s zeke at home” Ginger (half elf, same face shape, ranger, shart romancer??! i promise this is a coincidence idk how it happened) uhh i have a Khajit oc i’ve never talked about whose name is Ace and i have nothing else on him. OHHH GALE MY DRAGON AGE CIRCLE MAGE OC WHO DIDN’T WORK AS SURANA. uhh yeah he’d simply have no use for that old woman sorry. i need to change her name man can’t let her get confused with the bg3 wizard.

how could i forget Jack, Jack Valentine, my gta 5 guy i’ve had for like 3 years and also never once talked about despite loving him forever even if i’ve kinda forgotten him lately cos i haven’t played it in ages. kind of a self insert type, or at least the closest oc i do have to one, so. he’d make an alright lackey, i think. he’d probably hate the gort but ultimately fall for his shit after a while. like with gale he’d be very disposable.

man i need to think of better ocs these guys are boring

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 5 Incoherent Thoughts

Spoilers for Loki episode 5. And also my fic, Scattered to the Wind, because holy shit.

My stomach hurts, guys

I've been texting my best friend about this upcoming episode all day. I'd say I was getting progressively more unhinged, but I definitely started out unhinged and fluctuated from there.

Oh my GOD the title is making me feel better already

Oh god never mind I'm scared again after the recap and the haunting intro music

FUCK THAT ONE TEAR ON LOKI'S FACE

SHIT WAIT DID HE TIME SLIP I BET HE TIME SLIPPED

NO HE WENT TO THE PIE ROOM ;.;

FUCK YES HE DID TIME SLIP

OH MONKEY FUCK

THE TIME SLIPS ARE SHORTER

OH MY GOD I'VE FOR SURE HAD A NIGHTMARE LIKE THIS WHERE EVERYTHING TURNS TO SPAGHETTI THAT'S HORRIFYING

NO NOT THE CLOCK TICKING

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE IN CAPS THIS EP ISN'T IT

I'LL TELL YOU, THE SAME THING HAPPENED IN EP 5 OF LAST SEASON. I TOOK NOTES ALL IN CAPS TOO

YES CASEY'S IN JAIL I WAS FUCKING RIGHT PLEASE BE ALCATRAZ sorry spoilers for Scattered to the Wind

OH MY GOD WHO WAS RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING ALL OF THIS

WAS THAT A BOAT

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT

FUCK NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA READ IT AND BE ALL "UM ACTUALLY IT WAS 1962 NOT 1935" AND IM GONNA BE ALL "UM ACTUALLY I FUCKING CALLED THIS ENTIRE THING SO STOW IT"

GUT US LIKE FISH

LOKI

OKAY I GOT THE NAME WRONG BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

YES MOBIUS GIMME

NO LAME FUCK OFF MARVEL

SIX YEARS OFF FOR B-15 I SWEAR TO GOD IF HER NAME IS ANN I'LL LOSE IT

WRONG PLACE BUT I UNDERSTAND. ACCENT, AND I PUT HER IN LONDON BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS IN AMERICA

UGH SHE'S SO GOOD AND SHE'S A PEDIATRICIAN I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT TOO

BUT SHE'S IN NEW YORK IN 2012 WHAT MONTH IS IT BECAUSE SHE MIGHT KNOW LOKI

MOBIUS YES HOLY SHIT

DON FUCKING DON DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR LAST NAME PLEASE I MEAN I SHIP THORKI SO FANONICALLY I'LL BE FINE WITH IT BUT LIKE EVEN MARVEL WOULDN'T DO THAT RIGHT

NO NOT THE CHILDREN PLEASE LET THAT BE THE FICTIONAL PART

YES MIDWEST BUT WRONG STATE AND WAY WRONG YEAR [I! HAVE! THEORIES! THOUGH!]

MOBIUS HONEY SELL THE MAN A DIRT BIKE MORE JET SKIS FOR YOU

I'M CRYING ABOUT THE COMPARISON BETWEEN LOKI AND THE INFLATABLE GUY OH MY GOD THAT WAS PERFECT

That face was not good enough

Okay the slow walk and stare was perfect though

Wait I just remembered I screenshotted a bingo card for this episode specifically wait I'm gonna be a ball of anxiety and procrastinate and see if I got any squares yet I'll play it in a sec.

God Don is doing to Loki what Mobius did to OB in episode 1. Mo it's okay to tell someone you don't recognize them when they recognize you. It makes the interaction afterward way less awkward and a lot easier.

Fuck what's wrong with your son why doesn't he talk to his mom/dad/parent FUCK I HOPE HIS MOM DIDN'T JUST DIE THAT WOULD BE SO SHITTY

THAT LYING BITCH

THAT ASSHOLE IN THE LOKIUS TAG AFTER EPISODE ONE WHAT A LYING BITCH [No I have a thought though, and I'm sure someone else has had it by now.]

MOBIUS TALK TO YOUR KIDS HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD

WAIT

IF IT'S BILLY AND TOMMY I'LL FUCKING SCREAM

NO LOKI

OH MY GOD WAS I RIGHT ABOUT EVERYONE

RIGHT STATE WRONG TIME IF HE'S A PROFESSOR I'LL SHIT MYSELF

OH BABY MY DARLING

I LIKE THIS BETTER

AWW

SOMEHOW I LOVE HIM MORE

THE POSIT ITS. OB!!!!

IS THAT THE LOOM

THE LINES FROM THE TRAILER

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

IF SYLVIE'S IN BROXTON AND HAS FORGOTTEN SHE CAN DO MAGIC I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU GUYS I DIDN'T WATCH THIS EPISODE UNTIL NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

THIS IS SO WEIRD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

OH MY GOD IT'S NOT THE LOOM IT'S HIS WORKSHOP

HE'S STAYING SO LONG

OH MY GOD IS HIS REAL WHY GONNA BE BECAUSE HE LOVES MOBIUS? I'LL DIE

YES OB I WROTE THIS WE JUST TAKE BRAD OUT OF THE EQUATION AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT

SO I WAS GONNA SAY IRISH BOYS, KEVIN AND SEAN, BUT

BUT SEAN JUST ASKED FOR A DOG AND A SNAKE

THIS MAN IS AN ODIN VARIANT THE KIDS ARE LOKI AND THOR I DON'T LIKE THIS I DON'T LIKE IT HERE I WANT TO LEAVE

Baby Loki would have absolutely played with matches he stole

Baby Thor loves snakes

Take me back to before I was afraid of who Mobius was gonna be when I thought he was Theo and that was the end of it. Take me back even to when I thought he might be Loki but he was married so we might've actually gotten a Sigyn variant. Take me back to when I thought he might be Sigyn and his wife the Loki variant. Hell, take me back to an hour ago when I thought I was just gonna ship another version of thorki. This is a terrible theory.

Loki my god you are terrible at talking to your amnesiac love interest

MOBIUS I THOUGHT YOU SAID ON THE MARKET FOR A SECOND AND I FREAKED

MOBIUS OH MY GOD STOP TRYING TO SELL PEOPLE JET SKIS AND THOSE ARE YOURS

HE REMEMBERS WORD FOR WORD WHAT MOBIUS SAID

YOU GUYS I HAD TO LOOK THAT UP FOR THE FIC TO GET IT RIGHT AND HE RECITES IT WORD FOR FUCKING WORD OFF THE CUFF

AND THAT'S WHEN I STARTED CRYING

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES BEFORE HE CALLS THE COPS I HATE THIS

IT'S OKAY OB YOU'RE GONNA MEET CASEY SOON HOLY SHIT THOUGH I'D CALL 18 MONTHS FAST AND HOW DID YOU FIND HIM

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID TO SYLVIE

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES HE HAS CHILDREN WHO DON'T HAVE A MOM

You can MOVE the time doors??

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES

ALSO WHERE THE FUCK IS SYLVIE

SPACE NAME

OH MY GOD THERE SHE IS, IN BROXTON JUST LIKE I SAID

OKAY THANK GOD

OH MY GOD THERE'S BRAD

YES HE SAID IT HE WANTS HIS FRIENDS BACK HE HAS FRIENDS HE'S NEVER HAD FRIENDS AND NOW HE DOES I'M NOT CRYING I WASN'T CRYING TWO HOURS AGO WHEN I WAS SHOUTING HE HAS FRIENDS NOW IN MY CAR I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

I'M FUCKING BAWLING WHO AM I KIDDING

SYLVIE IT'S OKAY FOR HIM TO WANT FRIENDS IT'S OKAY FOR HIM TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT'S NOT SELFISH THAT'S BEING A PERSON

CASEY SHUT UP AND JUST FLIRT WITH HIM

LOKI NO DARLING

DUDE YOU SAID THAT LIKE YOU'RE SELLING HER DRUGS

SYLVIE

YEAH WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN GIRL

CASEY

OB NO

MOBIUS, B-15

SYLVIE

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THE FUCKING BLIP AGAIN

TIME LOOP FUCK THIS

FUCK NO FUCK THIS

NO NO

OH HE MEANT HIM OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT HE WAS ABOUT TO GO ALL SYLKI ON ME

LOKIIIIIIIIIIIII YESSSSSSSSSS <3