#this ones a real bangin post

[steaksex]

Yiu guys are so lucky im too lazy to learn enough anatomy to draw raunchy pictures of my ocs. Im making a new one and half of his existence is for me to give him a voyeurism kink and the other half of his reason for existing is him having a big gushy sloppy wet pussy with a cute twitchy tdick and for him to get so overstimulated he cries over the dumbest things. Actually now that im saying this you guys should be begging mw to improve so i can draw this

[tightjeansjavi]

The Menu | Part 4

“splinters in his knuckles bangin’ on your door”

A/N: remember that meme I posted earlier about how this was supposed to just be a silly little smut fic? Yeahhh about that..🥴

~word count: 6.3k~

Pairing | dark!joel miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel goes a little berserk after he doesn’t see you for almost an entire day.

Warnings: SA (not by Joel, not described in detail) implied prostitution, abuse of power/abuse by law enforcement, (FEDRA) unhealthy trauma response, degrading language, mentions of guns, threats, injures from punching a door, mentions of blood, removing splinters, dark!joel, mean!joel, protective!joel, is shit at communicating his feelings!joel, asshole!joel, FEDRA SUCKS, no smut, denial of feelings, stalking, possession, morally gray relationship to the reader, (they’re kinda toxic but it’s complicated) hurt feelings, angst, some fluff, age gap, (Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her late 20’s) reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!

Joel Miller cracked under the pressure when almost an entire day went by without a lick of your presence. Cracking under the pressure was..a severe misjudgment. All rationale was thrown out the door; he had gone completely balls to the wall insane.

It started in the morning when you didn’t show up to your ‘job’ where you and Joel would spend grueling hours dumping deceased infected. Of course, everyone around him could give less of a shit about your absence. And why should they care? It was a dog eat dog world in the QZ. Every man for himself. To Joel? This was a real problem. A thorn in his side because, well, frankly? You might have meant more to him than just a vice to fill a void. Or a warm body to stick his dick in. Maybe he had reluctantly grown to care for you in his own Joel way.

So, when he found himself in line for his ration cards, his eyes zoned in on the FEDRA officer you fucked out of spite. The same one who did business at Joel’s table while Joel’s fingers fucked you to ruin. He had to start somewhere, right?

“Y’got a minute?” Joel asked casually as he shoved his ration cards into the pocket of his jeans.

“Shoot.” Benjamin, better known as Benji, what the fuck kinda name is that.

“Y’seen Angel around this mornin?’ She’s usually out here with me. Didn’t show up.”

“Nope.” Benji responded smoothly.

Joel’s brow raised as he studied the other man’s face intently. He was looking for any clues, any indication that maybe this Benji fellow had something to do with your bizarre absence.

“Right. Well, if ya see her, tell ‘er Joel’s lookin’ for her.” He shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets.

If Benji was good for anything, it was ratting QZ folks out. So, maybe he did know where you were. He had no viable reason to tell Joel shit. In fact, he was the main reason for your absence. Not only did he catch you out past curfew, but with a handful of contraband that could have easily gotten you a week in lockup. He showed you just a smidge of mercy simply for the fact that you offered him a blowjob just to keep your ass off the line, and only in lockup for one single day.

Joel had no business knowing that, of course.

“Well, well, well. Whad’we have here?” Benji stepped out from the shadows of the darkly lit alleyway as a FEDRA patrol vehicle drove by.

“One hour past curfew, Angel. That’s a deduction of cards, and a night in lockup.” He tsked.

Your face scrunched inwards, as if you had tasted something pungent and sour. “Benji? Fuck. C’mon, man. Just let me pass on through. It’ll be like I was never here.” You thought you were being fairly reasonable especially since he did a lot of business with Joel. You thought that maybe you could get yourself off the hook easily.

“Can’t do that, Angel.” He sighed.

“My name is not Angel. And yes, you can. Just pretend that you never saw me.”

“Oh.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he reached for his concealed handgun. “So, I guess buddy boy can call you Angel, but I can’t?”

For fuck sakes.

“Christ, is that what this is about? Who has the bigger dick? What, are you jealous or somethin?’” You egged him on as you reached for your own concealed gun before an unpleasant chill ran down your spine from the familiar clicking sound of the revolver.

“Jealous? Now, why would I be jealous, Angel? Ain’t you just a common street whore? You’ll let anyone stick their dick in ya if they pay well. Ah, but you got that Joel Miller wrapped around your pretty little finger. Everyone ‘round here knows he’s your guard dog. Where is he now, hm?” He cocked his head to the side.

“Look, Benji, you’re a good lookin’ guy and all that, but I fucked you out of spite. I’ll stroke your ego or whatever, but can I please just fuckin’ go home now?” You were exhausted from the grueling day. Your feet ached, your whole body felt like a bunch of pins and needles were stabbing it all at once. All you wanted was to go home, pour yourself a stiff glass, and have a smoke. Was it really too much to ask?

“Turn around. Hands against the wall. No sudden movements.” He ignored every word that left your mouth as if it meant nothing as if you truly were just a whore. For the first time in a long time, you felt dirty. Like something that was disposable. A toy that was no longer shiny and new, but dull and tattered. It made your blood boil.

“Benji—is that really necessary?” You tried to reason with him, but your attempts were fruitless.

“I said turn the fuck around and put your hands against the goddamn wall. Don’t make me ask you a third time, Angel. I ain’t have all night.” His jaw ticked impatiently.

“Okay. Okay. You don’t have to ask me again.” You reluctantly turned around with your hands above your head before placing your palms flat against the brick wall. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, slicing the skin open from the pressure as you tasted copper along your tongue when he yanked you back by the hips as if he owned them.

“That’s right. Because that Joel Miller sure turned you into an obedient little cockslut, didn’t he?” Benji chuckled deeply against the shell of your ear. His hot breath on your skin sent a wave of nausea crawling up your throat.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, Benji.” You hissed through your gritted teeth as he began to forcefully pat you down. You thought about trying to escape, but decided that would have been fucking reckless to even try.

“Oh, now what do we have here?” He said rather gleefully as he pulled out a baggy of pills. The same baggy of pills that Joel gave to you the night before to deliver to a client.

“Those aren’t mine.” Well, that was dumb.

“No? Hmm. You’re not good at this whole lyin’ game, Angel. Let’s see what else we got here.” He pulled out your gun from the belt loop of your jeans along with tinfoil wrapped cigarettes; fresh ones that Joel had rolled you.

“Well, my dear, you’re lookin’ at about a week in lockup just from this alone. Unless..” he trailed off knowing exactly what you’d offer him in return.

“You’re sick, y’know that?” You scoffed under your breath. Men really did only ever think with their dicks.

“Jus’ doin’ my job, Angel. So, what’re you gonna offer me, hmm? Make it good and I’ll only throw you in there for a day. Sounds fair?”

“Right. Your job at bein’ a fuckin’ rat? I’ll give you a blowie, right here, right now. I think that seems pretty fair, don’t you?” The sooner this is over, the sooner I get to go home.

“Hm.” He pondered it for a moment, as if he really had to think hard on your offer. “Deal. But I want you to act enthusiastic this time, and take your tits out. I’m gonna paint them and your face in my come, and you’re gonna sit there and fuckin’ take it, and if you don’t?” He flipped you around swiftly, caging you against the wall as he brought the barrel of the gun right against your temple, “I’ll spray your brains out right against this fuckin’ wall.”

This wasn’t the first time you had been threatened by a man in the QZ, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but the all too real gun being pressed against your forehead was alarming, and your brain went into compliance mode in an instant. Truthfully, you didn’t want to die, and certainly not in a manner such as this.

All you could think about as you slowly sank down to your knees, and as the pavement nipped at your exposed skin, was that Joel would never do something like this to you.

“Sure, you’ll be the first to know if I’ve seen her, Miller.” He nodded.

Something about Benji, and his stupid face, sent Joel’s hackles rising. But before he could even mutter a reply, Benji was walking away towards the other FEDRA officers.

Joel shook his head while he flipped through his ration cards for the day. He was doing his best to block out all the possible scenarios of your disappearance, but he failed miserably when he realized there was a high possibility that you were either dead, or infected. It happened more often than people would think.

The real start of his manhunt began after he confided in Tess in the utmost Joel fashion. He found himself pacing the length of his apartment while all she could do was watch from the entryway in the kitchen. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she leaned back against the countertop. Her eyes trailed after his frantic movements.

“Look, before you go thinkin’ about doin’ somethin’ reckless, did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s just in her apartment? She could have slept in—”

He cut her off sharply with a quick shake of his head. “Sleepin’ in? Really, is that all Y’got for me, Tess? I knew she should have just fuckin’ spent the night. She’s so goddamn stubborn. I would have even slept on the couch and she could have taken the bed if it was such a big deal. She’s so hot’n cold!” He growled frustratingly. His hands moved upwards towards his head as his fingers tangled through his hair, yanking at the roots till he was feeling a splice of pain. “Or, better yet, I should have just walked her home myself!”

“Texas, you’re actin’ fuckin’ insane right now! Pacin’ the goddamn apartment like a dog. Ripping your hair out?!” Just calm the fuck down for a second. Take some deep breaths, have a smoke or somethin’ and then let’s both think rationally.” She tried to reason with him. All this got her in return was a narrowed glare, a scoff and an eye roll.

“She could be fuckin’ dead, Tess! What if somethin’ happened between her leavin’ here last night and walkin’ back to her place?”

“I highly doubt she’s dead. And if she was, we would have heard about it by now, Joel. Do you want me to help you look for her? Cause I can start askin’ around.” She pushed herself off the side of the counter just as his pacing came to a complete standstill.

“Sure, yeah. Go ahead and ask around. But, before you do that, I need ya to tell me where Angel lives. I’m aware that you know, and that she doesn’t want me to know, but you’re gonna tell me either way.” He stated as a matter of factly.

“Joel, she doesn’t want you knowing where she lives for obvious reasons. How about you stay here, and I’ll go to her apartment. Like I said, I’m sure she’s just fine.”

“Yeah? Well, those reasons are irrelevant as of right now. So, quit your little girl code you got goin’ on with her or whatever, and tell me where the fuck her apartment is.”

Tess didn’t even bother to argue. She knew Joel long enough to know that he wasn’t going to stop until he found that you were safe. Otherwise, the unknown and the ‘what ifs’ would eat him alive, literally.

“You’re fuckin’ relentless, Texas. Y’know that?” She pulled out her own personal map of the QZ before laying it out on the worn down kitchen table. She pointed to your exact apartment building. “She’s on the third floor at the very end of the hall.”

“Yep. You damn right I am, Tess. You know me too well.” He merely glanced down at the spot on the map where Tess was pointing at before he snatched up the parchment, folding it neatly and tucked it into his back pocket.

“I’ll be needing that back, Texas.” Tess reminded him.

“And I’ll be bringin’ it right back as soon as I find her.” Joel responded smoothly, dripping in confidence to mask his true nature. Just like those women he used to sleep with, he could put up a facade with just a snap of his fingers.

“Yeah, well, you’re losin’ daylight. Better go find that Angel of yours.”

“Better me than anyone else.” Joel added with a curt nod. He left the apartment in a rush, skipping a few steps down the stairs. He never handled change of any kind all that well. Especially when you had become a constant in his life while living in this shit hole place. If something had happened to you, Joel would force himself to take all the blame. He felt responsible for you in some capacity.

“Swear to god when I find this girl..” he muttered to himself, shaking his head while slipping past the front door of the apartment building. Evening was steadfast on the horizon; he needed to move fast.

Was it something I said last night?

Was it because I asked her to stay?

Was it the goddamn strap on??

Is she avoiding me on purpose?

Is she dead?

Did she fuckin’ get infected?

Did..she find someone else?

These thoughts and more were swirling through his frantic brain. He fucking hated the fear of the unknown. Absolutely despised the whole entire notion of its existence. He’d much prefer when things were yanked off like a bandaid. Quick and mostly painless.

He triple checked Tess’s map the entire trek to your apartment building. He had no time to fuck this up, and to the passerby he probably looked like a crazed man; which would be an accurate statement given the circumstances.

Your apartment building was nearly an exact replica of his own. Same shitty staircase, peeling wallpaper, the occasional cry of an infant, or scream of a child. Just the day-to-day sounds of the QZ that we’re all white noise to Joel.

When he found himself standing outside your door, he scoffed at the faded “Welcome :)” mat outside of your door beneath his boots. The smiley face had nearly rubbed off entirely, and he wondered if the mat had been there by your doing, or the previous inhabitants.

Focus, Joel.

He pressed the side of his head against the outside of the door, falling silent as he listened with his good ear for any movements on the other side.

Nothing.

“Angel? Y’in there, doll?” He asked through the thin wood.

Silence.

“Look, I’m sorry if I said somethin’ to upset you last night, but I haven’t seen you all fuckin’ day, and I’m real worried that somethin’ bad happened to ya. So, if you’re in there, can you please say something?”

Nothing.

“Okay. Okay, so maybe I do deserve the silent treatment after I made you hold my cock in your mouth like a cum bucket whore, but it was uh—out of affection? And if you’re upset that I asked ya to stay the night, then I’m sorry. It was just late and I wanted to—”

This is fucking stupid.

“Can you fuckin’ answer me, please? Just fuckin’ say something!” He growled, throwing his fists against the door once for good measure. “I’m about five seconds away from lookin’ like a complete and utter psychopath if you don’t open this goddamn door!” His frustration was on the cusp of boiling over, like a kettle on the stove.

“Okay, so we’re gonna play the silent game, huh?! I swear to god, Angel. If you’re behind this goddamn door and you’re ignoring me on purpose?! Good god, girl. You got another thing comin’ for ya!” He laughed, one of those unfriendly, chills down the spine, oh shit! I’m fucked kinda laughs.

Joel Miller had completely lost all remaining shreds of rationale.

“I’m gonna give you to the count of five to open this fuckin’ door, y’hear me?!” He snarled threateningly.

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Three.”

He didn’t even get to two before his fists absolutely began to rain down on your doorframe. The cord had snapped and he was fully spiraling without giving a damn of who could see or hear him.

With adrenaline, rage, and fear pumping through his veins, he couldn’t even feel the skin along his knuckles being absolutely torn to shreds from how hard he was laying his fists into the wood.

It's like he had completely blacked out and all he could see was red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Benji was ‘generous’ enough to let you out of being in lockup early and sent you right back out onto the streets. Ridden with exhaustion, you practically dragged yourself back to your apartment with only the thought of a stiff drink and your bed bringing you some form of motivation to keep going.

Your keys jingled in your grasp while you trudged up the stairs. You were oh so close to just plopping down in the hallway, but your apartment was only just down the hall. You could make it.

You passed by one of your neighbors on your way. And when you went to wave, they completely avoided making eye contact with you at all costs. Somehow you just knew that Joel was involved in this behavior, but how the hell did he know where you lived?

Then, you heard the sounds of banshee yelling intensifying the closer you drew to your door.

Jesus fucking Christ. Can’t a girl catch a break?

When you turned the corner, you were met with a grizzly bear of a man. Joel Miller had nearly beaten your door in with just his bare fists. You weren’t even all that shocked to see him outside of your apartment, but, nonetheless, you were pissed.

You leaned against the corner of the hallway, arms crossed against your chest and a displeased, yet mildly amused look plastered on your face.

“Joel?”

He whipped around in an instant at the familiar sound of your voice. His eyes were wide, nostrils flared, blood dripping down between the ridges of his knuckles, staining the already faded carpet crimson beneath his boots.

He looked crazy.

“Where in the fuck have you been? Do you know how fuckin’ worried I’ve been all goddamn day?! Huh, sweet girl? Do you have any idea—”

“You’re bleeding, sweet boy.” You mumble softly. You had hoped that you could advert his attention, but he was already stalking towards you, something indescribable flashes in his eyes when you call him, ‘sweet boy.’

“Yeah, baby.” He huffs out a raspy laugh. “I’ve got splinters in my knuckles bangin’ on your door. Tore ‘em all up.”

He’s so close now that you can taste his breath and see that flicker of fear in his eyes. His hands encaged around your face. Soft, wet from the blood, but gentle.

Droplets of blood trail down your neck and down the clavicle between your covered breasts. You shouldn’t be turned on—but that cunt of yours has a mind of her own, sometimes.

“Joel, you didn’t have to show up here like a crazy man and nearly go and break down my door.”

He glares, bloodstained thumb swiping across your lower lip. “Don’t tell me what I did and didn’t have to do, Angel. Haven’t seen you all day. Thought you were fuckin’ dead or somethin.’”

“Yeah, well, I’m not dead. I’m right here. Why the hell did you even care in the first place, huh? Can’t even go one day without losing your cool?” It’s your turn to challenge him now. You place your palms flat on his chest, giving him a firm shove.

He glared, eyes narrowing into slits. His head cocked to the side in a condescending manner. His jaw clenched and unclenched. He dropped his hands from your face only to then encage your wrists above your head. He used his sheer mass to press your back directly against the hallway wall. He loomed over you to appear more menacing, like a predator going in for the kill. “Who said anythin’ about me caring, huh? Is that why you think I’m here, Angel? Cus’ I care?” He questioned, pushing you further into the wall. His chest was pressed right against yours, leaving you no room to escape, let alone breathe.

“Why would I give a damn where my whore on stilts wandered off to? Y’think you mean anythin’ to me other than a hole to fuck? Don’t be so naive.” He scoffed.

“You have got to be the worst fuckin’ liar, Joel. Right. You don’t care. You just happened to track down where I live, proceeded to bust down my door, just because I’m a hole for you to fuck? Right. Keep on telling yourself that, buddy boy. Keep livin’ in your delusions. See how far that gets ya.” You held in your laugh from slipping past. Could he not see that you were exhausted? You had been beaten down enough as it was, you didn’t need Joel fucking Miller pushing you down further.

“That’s it? That’s all y’can say to me? No bite back? No fuck you Joel? What the hell happened to you, huh?” He pressed further, tightening his hold around your wrists. “What happened after you left my place last night, Angel?” His tone was much softer now, gentle, laced with concern.

You couldn’t keep up with his mood swings if you tried. Joel Miller was one hot and cold man.

“No. We are not about to do this again. Not when in one breath you’re a complete asshole, and the next?!” You laughed bitterly. “Joel, I’m fuckin’ exhausted, okay? I had a shit night, and I just want to go and have a stiff drink. If you want to join, then be my guest, but I won’t take another minute of your bitching. Y’got that?”

Joel found himself studying your face. He thought that maybe he could read between the lines and figure out exactly why you were so exhausted, but you weren’t budging, not even for him. What was that bit about him fucking hating the fear of the unknown? Oh, yeah.

“Angel, look..I’m—”

“Oh, fuck no. You are not about to apologize for that. No. You meant every word, Joel. You don’t get to take that back.” You shook your head in disappointment, breaking your wrists free from his gradually loosening grip before you pulled away entirely.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

You didn’t even wait to see if he would follow you, you could care less if he did, or didn’t. With your keys in hand you unlocked your door, muttering about how it probably wouldn’t lock properly anymore from the damage Joel inflicted on it.

Joel’s fingers twitched at his side. He was silently debating his options. It was pointly obvious that something had happened to you, but he had no right to pry. His footsteps followed yours like a shadow.

“You should probably get your knuckles patched up.” You muttered under your breath while carelessly tossing your keys onto the kitchen counter.

“They’ll be alright. Nothin’ I can’t handle.” He replied smoothly and shoved his hands into the deep caverns of the pockets on the front of his worn jeans.

“I have a first aid kit in the bathroom.” You stated plainly. Your back was facing him behind the counter while you grabbed your stashed bottle of whiskey, and two glasses.

He was observing you with a careful eye when you turned around to face him. “Are you offering to patch up my self-inflicted wounds, baby?” He asked in a crackling rasp, like logs on a fire.

“Sure. If that’s how you want to phrase it.” You shrugged before popping the cap off the bottle with your teeth. You poured a generous splash of the amber colored liquor into both glasses. You opted to take a quick swig from the bottle, needing that little bit of relief to kick in sooner, rather than later.

“Why?” He questioned. He reached for the glass, guiding it towards him before he snatched it up in his hand. He took a hefty sip, letting the warmth from the liquor spread through his system like a warm hug.

“Are you really that fuckin’ stupid, Joel?” You wanted to laugh, but it came out more like a strained scoff if anything.

“‘Fraid so, my Angel.” He smirked over the rim of the cloudy glass.

“Guess the apocalypse shrunk men’s already pea sized brains even more.” You muttered with a shake of your head before downing the liquor from your glass in one swift gulp. Your hand wrapped around his thick wrist, and before he could protest, you were dragging him to your bathroom.

“Sit” you commanded with a gesture to the closed toilet seat.

“Look, you really don’t have to do all this, it’s justa—”

You interjected swiftly, giving him a stern glare before grabbing the first aid kit from behind the cabinet door that was barely holding on by the hinges. “Okay, so then leave, Joel.”

His brows furrowed at your response, and his lips pursed tightly. He ultimately decided to plop down on the toilet seat with a huff. “Are you going to tell me where the hell you’ve been all day? Or are you just gonna keep avoidin’ my question?”

“If you’re good, then I’ll tell you. Cause frankly, right now? I’m sick of your shit, Joel. But somehow, some way, my cold cold heart has a shred of kindness left for you.”

He scoffed, resting his head back against the peeling wallpaper. “You’re sick of my shit?”

“Yes. Because you’re a fuckin’ asshole, Joel. How many times am I going to repeat myself? Normal people don’t stalk someone, attempt to break down their door, and then demand to know where they’ve been all day!”

“Oh boy, we’re still on that topic?” He placed his bloodstained hands on his knees and shook his head before he sat back. “So, what would you rather me have done, hmm? Sweetheart, I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he gestured with his hands, “it wasn’t like I could fuckin’ call you up! Do you see a phone in sight anywhere? No? Wow, I wonder why! It’s almost like we’re in a fuckin’ apocalypse!” He said with sarcasm dripping with every breath.

And then you threw Joel Miller for a loop when you whipped out a fucking spray bottle and sprayed his snarky ass right in the face!

It didn’t even matter where the hell you found the damn spray bottle in the first place, it was the fact that you had the balls to spray him in the face, not once, but twice when he went to open his mouth. You swore you could see the steam rising from the water droplets on his skin. Like he was an animated bull from those old animated movies. Nostrils flaring red hot flames, smoke billowing from his ears. The tea kettle had reached its boiling point.

On the opposite end of the spray bottle, you saw that very bull with steam spewing. He was flabbergasted, bewildered at your rash decision. “Did you just fuckin’ spray me like I’m a goddamn cat or somethin?!’” His voice boomed like an overhead crack of thunder unleashing its rage in a crescendo.

“I did.”

“And why the hell did you think that you could jus—go’n spray me in the face like that?!”

“You say an awful lot of stupid and hurtful shit to me, Joel Miller. You hurt my feelings, pissed me off, and I’ve just about had it. So, everytime you open that big fuckin’ mouth of yours and say somethin’ mean and stupid, I’m gonna spray you in the face with this.” You waved the spray bottle around for a moment to get your point across.

Displeased, drenched like a damn cat, Joel sent daggers your way with one harsh glare. “Oh, I didn’t realize we were throwin’ a fuckin’ pity party ontop of all of this.” He scoffed.

“Did you not—” you laughed incredulously, “hear a goddamn word I just said? Fine. Well, let me remind you what happens when you’re fuckin’ stupid!” You sprayed him again.

This time he shut up..for now.

“Refreshing.” He mumbled very much like a dog with its tail between its legs.

You set the spray bottle down along the edge of the counter where it was in arm's reach, before you sank down between his spread knees with the first aid kit tucked under your armpit. “Let me see just what kinda damage you’ve done to your beautiful hands, Joel.” Your voice was much softer now compared to moments earlier. At least now you had him tamed and compliant.

“I didn’t break ‘em. Although, if you hadn’t shown up, I probably would have. And they ain’t beautiful, Angel. They’re ugly.” He gruffed out.

“They’re beautiful to me, Joel.” You reached for his hands once they were presented in front of you. The blood had already begun to congeal and dry in some places. “Yeah, you definitely have some splinters in there that are gonna have to come out.”

“Fuck no. Just leave ‘em.” He shook his head.

For the first time in over 24 hours, you smiled. It was really just a slight tug of your lips, but it was there. “Are you afraid of tweezers or somethin?’” You mused.

He scowled at your question and picked a spot on the wall to stare at so he didn’t have to make eye contact. “No.” He grumbled, jaw ticking under the dangling bathroom light.

“You sure about that?” You asked while placing the first aid kit alongside you on the floor. You popped it open, rifling through the different aids before pulling out disinfectant spray and tweezers.

“Crystal.” He confirmed.

“Ookay.” You did your best to hide your little grin while you held the disinfectant spray a few inches above his hands. “This might sting a little.” You softly warned him.

He barely flinched when he felt the sudden coolness from the spray adhering to his open wounds. His nose did twitch the slightest when the stinging sensation settled in.

“You’re being an excellent patient for me, Mr. Miller. Maybe if you’re a good boy for the next part, I’ll reward you with a lollipop.”

He finally looked at you, tearing his gaze from the wallpaper to meet your eyes. His lips curved upwards into a small smirk. “Sounds wonderful, Doctor. Do you promise to be gentle?” He played along.

“Always, Joel.” You replied.

His eyes stayed locked on your own for what felt like hours, neither of you quite ready to break the contact just yet. He cleared his throat, shifting along the closed toilet seat. “Uh, will..you hold my hand? I lied about the tweezer thing. Splinters hurt like a bitch, and uh—yeah.” He muttered under his breath while the heat began to rise rapidly to his cheeks. Even the tips of his ears turned beet red.

“If it’ll make you feel more comfortable, Joel.” You nodded reassuringly. Your left hand reached for his own when he had pulled back slightly in a jerking movement. You could sense his palpable hesitation radiating off of him before he finally relaxed.

“This is stupid.” He said suddenly, feeling more bashful as the seconds ticked by.

“It’s not stupid at all, Joel. Splinters are no fun at all.”

I mean, This. Me and you. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be blushing like a schoolgirl right now. And over what? Holding hands? He thought to himself.

He’s kinda sweet..in his own Joel way. You thought silently to yourself.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

“Get on with it, please.” He nearly whispered when his left hand finally reached towards your own. He was the one to thread his fingers through yours and let your entwined hands rest along his left thigh comfortably.

It took all of twenty minutes for you to successfully remove every splinter from his hands. Some fragmented pieces of wood were a bit deeper than others. He was a real champ, and you surprised him with a kiss. A soft reward that he felt he was undeserving of.

“I think you should let them breathe a bit longer and then we’ll bandage up.” You said while moving to stand back up. Your left hand was still engulfed in his own when he stopped you from standing up.

“Aren’t you gonna kiss them all better, doctor?” He asked with a tilt of his head. He looked like a puppy with his tousled, wild hair, and big brown eyes staring at you.

You found your lips kissing his broken skin before you even had a chance to respond. A kiss was pressed to each knuckle in an affectionate manner.

He broke the silence when your hand departed from his and you busied yourself with putting away the first aid kit.

“Are you going to tell me what happened to you out there, or are we gonna keep dancin’ around the subject?” He asked rather softly. Almost as if he was concerned.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Joel.”

Please don’t ask me again.

“Angel..”

“Let’s go finish our drinks.” You interjected with a hidden fake smile.

His eyes follow your silhouette when you swiftly remove yourself from the small bathroom. He shakes his head with a sigh before he finally stands up. He eyes the spray bottle still resting along the bathroom counter, and in an extremely cat-like fashion, he swiftly knocks it over into the trash bin below.

Good riddance.

When Joel left your bathroom, he soon found you with your feet tucked under your thighs on the far end of the couch. You appeared to be staring off into space while you nursed your glass of whiskey in silence. He really wasn’t quite sure what to think of your behavior, let alone how he should approach you.

Nonetheless he grabbed his own glass and joined you on the couch. Your eyes stayed focused on the wall even when you felt the old cushions dip down from Joel’s weight pressing down on them gradually.

He swirled the contents around in his glass absentmindedly before he took a small sip. You could feel his eyes along the side of your head when he moved the glass to rest between his knees.

“I really wish you would jus’..talk to me, sweetheart.” He rasped softly while he twiddled with his fingers that weren’t wrapped around the glass. He was never really good at having these types of conversations, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try one last time.

You shifted uncomfortably from his words. You didn’t want to tell him what happened to you in that disgusting alley. Or the way that Benji’s touch made you feel nauseous. You didn’t want to tell Joel that you were made to feel like literal human trash. Pond scum, gum beneath men’s shoes. You didn’t want to confess that you spent a night in lockup, crying against the cold concrete till your body could no longer produce tears while Benji, and a few of his FEDRA friends proceeded to violate you further, stripping you of your autonomy and dignity with grime stained fingernails, and cruel laughter. Nothin’ but a common street whore, that one. Make her gag on it. I wanna see tears streaming down those pretty fuckin’ cheeks, boys. Miller ain’t here to save you now, Angel. You belong to us.

You didn’t want Joel to believe that you were this broken, damaged person. You didn’t want him to take pity on you. That was quite literally the last thing you wanted from him. But, you were only human, after all, and pain had a sneaky way of revealing itself even when you had done everything possible to cloak it.

He watched as you drained the contents of your glass wordlessly before you slipped down from the couch, falling to your knees between his thighs.

She loves it, don’t be fooled boys. She loves to be fucked like a dirty little whore. Ain’t that right, Angel? Joel Miller got her all obedient, just for us. She’ll do anythin’ you ask of her.

“Angel.” He started, words lodging in his throat. Something about this felt wrong.

You ignored him, reaching for his belt with trembling fingers as you worked it open.

Cus’ a whore is all you’ll ever be, sweetheart. The best pussy in all of the fuckin’ QZ. Bet he’ll smell me all over ya, Angel. I hope he does. I hope that guard dog can fuckin’ taste my come inside of ya next time he takes you.

Joel finds himself frozen in time when he sees the way your fingers tremble. He’s stunned and unsure what he should do in this situation. He’s never seen you like this before. He’s used to your brashness. Your confidence. Your swift, snarky, sarcastic remarks. The woman on her knees between his thighs is not you. He knows then that he has to stop this. He has to say something.

“Angel, baby. I don’t think we—” he struggles to find the right words to say. To be delicate, but firm. This had nothing to do with his own feelings, and had everything to do with yours. “This doesn’t feel right, sweetheart.”

Your heart sinks to the pits. He knows. He fucking knows. He knows, and thinks you to be worthless, just like the rest of them.

You sink back along your thighs, tears pooling in your eyes. “You don’t..want me anymore, Joel?” You ask above a whisper, holding on by a mangled thread.

He shakes his head slowly, his heart breaking in the process.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

I no longer have a taglist! Please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

[vvitchella]

I was at a convention today and at one of the booths they were selling neopets merch like tarot cards and shit and while I played neopets WELL into my adulthood (on and off) I have not for a couple years and was not aware that there is Officially Licensed Tarot cards

BUT

believe me I probably have neomillions bangin around the stock market and used to have a neopets tumblr a couple years ago ok so I half know my shit

Anyway so I go up to the booth and squee over the merch I never thought I'd find at an Anime Convention of all places and the lady's first question to me was "oh so you still play neopets?"

and I look at her. mind you I am autistic. I look this woman. in the eye. okay? I'm looking her in the eye

and I can see that she is so excited to find a real actual neopets fan

so I say

yes

which was a lie

and look away immediately and I uh and I buy the cards and some pins

and as she runs my debit card through the thing she's like "oh you know if you let us know - just send us an email - we'll send you like in-game items and they sell for lots of neopoints"

so now I am obliged by gods neopian to return to the fold but also... to send an email now

like you know they never sell that shit

it was in the corner of their booth like they were like "oh I guess we have extra space"

but now in my head this lady is awaiting ye olde poste at ye olde tower window express from the First Real and True Actual In-Person Fan of Neopets She Has Ever Had the Pleasure to Meet: A Fan So Noble and True That Still Plays Neopets To This Day

so I have to write an email now and play a game it seems

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic #585 - "Wilderness"

Originally posted on March 3rd, 2011

Story, Art - HdE

deviantART | Seibertron | TFW2005 | BotTalk

wada sez: On deviantART, HdE admitted: “We-e-eell... Time for a qualifier, I think. I've actually never seen a single episode of Armada! Rather, I tried to write a piece that would make a nod to a previous continuity and also stand on its own two feet. I was working here from the continuity of Simon Furman's fantastic Armada comics, where poor ol' Smokescreen meets an untimely pwning at the hands of Megatron. Plus, I figure I keep bangin' on over at the IDW boards about aspects of Transformers that could be developed more, and how I want to see more drama in the books. At the time I sat down and wrote this one, I had a real feeling that it was probably time to 'put up or shut up'.” In the Dreamwave comics, Smokescreen is shot in “Worlds Collide, Part 2 of 4″. Of course, this story fits fairly well into Armada cartoon continuity as well—where he dies in “Sacrifice”! In both continuities, he is eventually restored to life... but in a new body, as “Hoist”.

[t1meslayer]

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @amethystsoda <.< This is my first time doing one of these Tumblr viral posts so tysm for getting me involved!!

===

Last Song: The real answer is "Pokemon OST I've listened to 100 times," but that's boring — even if it's a banger like ScarVi's Wild Area battle theme.

Instead let's share this very normal song from the end of a very normal playlist curated by a very normal friend about a very normal character:

This person may or may not become relevant later.

===

Fav Color: Yellow! Especially a lighter Daffodil kind of shade.

===

Last Movie/TV Show: Last movie was Disney's Wish (available now on Disney+, you see) during a VC yesterday. But I can tell you literally nothing about that movie other than the fact I was bored.

So go watch Space: 1999 instead. It's basically a British Star Trek show from the 70s with the most unnecessarily bangin' disco theme song you've ever heard in your life, and I'm obsessed.

===

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?: Historically a sweet guy, but I've been doing more spicy as of late. Lots of curries and chicken sandwiches and spicy pickles... Gimme more, please.

===

Relationship Status: Single and ready to mingle, as the kids say!

===

Last thing I web searched: The real answer is boring job hunt stuff. Instead, have one of my favorite clips I recently dug up related to taxes:

(For those who don't know, Brutalmoose is also the guy behind that "This time, I'm really gunna do it" image. Great videos all around. Been watching since forever.)

===

Current Obsession: PokeRogue. It has taken over my entire brain. And how could it not when you have such exciting revelations as:

Draco Meteor Fomantis.

Insane.

===

Your Tags (should you choose to accept it): @alchemicallymoon, @clearskeyes, @mossymothdragon, @kiliofdurinsline, @sheepishspirits, @ephemeraldew, @transientmelody, @tracc04, and a very relevant insane person @trybard

Like Ari, gunna throw a blank copy under the cut since mine was so busy! Thanks for reading <3

Last Song:

Fav Color:

Last Movie/TV Show:

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?:

Relationship Status:

Last thing I web searched:

Current Obsession:

Tagging:

[biggestthighestgeminiest]

Here are my combined thoughts about Barbie (2023) as I saw it on the 18th and have had more time to think abt it.

Some good, some bad - overall I very much enjoyed it, laughed my ass off, cried quite a bit, was enthralled by the set and costume design, but left feeling like some things were off and perhaps not accomplished in the best way. This will all be delivered in bullet points in a very chaotic and random way and is NOT ordered in importance omg. Anyways i love media analysis and I will probably not explain this in the best way but HERE WE GO

the casting was fantastic, everyone read the assignment and lived their campiest life, margot robbie was phenomenal and ryan gosling absolutely killed me with laughter, glorious glorious

set design, costume, props,, perfection when it comes to bringing the mattel products to life. bangin'

i had that stupid fucking dog that eats and shits. i lost my mind when he came on hsdgkhakh

the message of barbie being representative of all little girls is still very lost on me. the idea brought up when barbie speaks to the teens, where they tell her that she gave them unrealistic body standards- well this never really gets resolved at all. Yes there was a diverse range of Barbies but they were all still beautiful in a conventional way that adheres to western beauty ideals. every barbie has perfect hair and skin and clothes even by the end of the movie. and yes i guess barbie is supposed to be this "above everything else" sort of divine feminine beauty but is still not representative of most young girls. as hilarious as the line narrator's line about margot robbie is, it sort of knows itself, that it is showing us the most perfect looking women, but doesn't address it at all beyond a simple joke. honestly what will mattel do beyond this? i imagine people will be more than happy with this movie so they won't have to make any big changes. i mean their "curvy" fashionista isn't close to being fat, and i don't believe they will ever make a barbie that isn't conventionally beautiful... so this movie just sort of gets to say it's about accepting yourself without actual real-life substance if that makes sense? it reminds me of that cartoon of all those diverse yet conventionally attractive models, with diverse people who don't fit those standards standing outside that box looking angrily. what's the point of the film at the end of the day when not addressing all those people left out of the conversation? also made me annoyed that cellulite was still the big thing that barbie was concerned about, like really?? it's a bad example as people are coming to embrace cellulite and it's also relatively easy to hide, i don't think they would have margot robbie have like, idk, dark under eye circles or a double chin,, idk someone say this better than me but the cellulite thing annoyed me (as someone who has loads of it!!)

the plot was BONKERS and i for one don't really care about plot holes or cartoon logic. there were some things that made me overthink about barbie lore and then i thought to myself that it doesn't really matter. the campiness of it is more important. im sure it will deter some people but again i dont mind it being silly in that way as long as it delivers on its messages and themes, which it does to a certain extent

absolutely lost it at the you are kenough shirt, ljadhkglkhd

as i said in a previous post i predicted that it was going to be the mom who was paired with barbie. i loved the idea sm and it was very heartwarming

i CRIED when barbie first sat down and watched the humans around her living their life, she was so overwhelmed by so many emotions and it was such a simple moment of show-dont-tell and man did i weep :))

i LOVED the ken bits and i did feel as though there was a bit too much ken. especially at the end. but at the same time i loved the dance sequence. its hard loving it so much yet wanting it not to have been to prevalent. i felt like it took away from the barbies a bit which goes against the whole point of the movie????

um the barbie's plans of distracting the kens was... i guess reminiscent of all these spy or superhero movies where women use their beguiling nature against men to get the upper hand? like i am woman so i will flirt with man to distract while my team escapes and hooho it works :)) it was slightly different and not overly sexy or about flirting but it still had the same undertone. like really? the best way to get the other barbies out was to continue to conform to patriarchal standards and pump the ken's egos? surely there's a better way? yes the kens are idiots and turning them against each other works but it still felt a bit icky. i guess i just find this trope annoying being like... ok i am being taken advantage of men so i will USE the thing they oppress me for against them,, idk surely surely there's another way.

also America's character's plan of kidnapping the barbies and ... using very true and very valuable feminist lines to snap them out of it felt... weird? like what she was saying was 100% true but taking them out of context and almost using them as one liners made them feel less serious???? like making women "wake up" by just telling them about how the patriarchy takes advantage of them is just... idk. like in real life women who are indoctrinated and truly believe misogynistic things won't just wake up by being told such a line. and i know the barbies are brainwashed to forget their powerful feminist backgrounds so it's not entirely comparable to the women i just mentioned but... idk it felt disingenuous. i did laugh my ass off at the guitar scene but it still had that ickiness attached like..

i would watch this movie again, no doubt about it and i will definitely pick up on new things and easter eggs etc

mattel's board did make me laugh, perfectly casted and performed but again- mattel has its name on this. they know what they are doing. they know we will love this movie and not demand any change. it will still be full of men controlling the output of production. it will still put out products that don't reflect all young people's desires. it will still make products that uphold current societal norms. so having these buffoons in the board meeting just gets soured a bit when knowing these people will still be in power in real life....

the ruth bit made me cry and no i do not care that her ghost is just around. i loved it

the marketing team knows exactly what they are doing. the huge push of promotion made me gobble up all their interviews and im sure people will be buying all the barbie products. i am yet another victim of capitalism and i will thank them for it when i inevitably buy their you are kenough sweater

again i loved this movie despite all the bad things abt it. i love being critical of the wider impact of this movie while still enoying it as a piece of media and entertainment. i needed this movie and fuck it i want to go to barbieland so bad. i know i shouldnt. i love ken and think about ken more than i do barbie which is fucked up but the movie also played into it in a way,, as described before. i mean even ryan gosling being so iconic in all the interviews is adding into this lol. how many people are posting videos of him vs videos of the actresses i wonder.

also cockring ken. BUT HE WASNT WEARING THE COCKRING SO WHATS THE POINT EVEN???

the narrator was an interesting choice, personally wasn't a huge fan of it but it did somewhat fit with the rest of the cinematic language of the story so i can't say much about it

mattel knows exactly what its doing with putting its name on this movie. i think greta did a great job despite the constraints that mattel probably put on her,, it's hard to tell if the flaws of the movie come from the corporation's infuence or from the writer and director's creative decisions, most likely it's a combo of both. again i believe that the actors and designers and production team did a fantastic job with what they had, they committed to the bit. i would have loved for the movie to have been better, but it is still a great film in my book. as said before i would watch it again and would still enjoy it despite the flaws. the himbo part of my brain can shake hands with the media literacy one and emerge with an overall positive experience, yet PLEASE do not think this is the ultimate feminist movie, it is a step in the right direction, it could have been better, and i understand if you don't like it at all. but also i dont think it would be right to blindingly love it and call it perfect bc it's not.

[tonberry-yoda]

Joylne with a chubby jailmate friend?

omg i love this idea, its so fun! also, stone ocean is just one of my favs to write for (its one of my favorite parts tbh). thank you so much @ringofthesparkling for requesting!!! i hope i did well! oh, and i did headcanons btw <333 have a good day lovely!!!

Jolyne Cujoh w/ a chubby f!reader jailmate friend

Warnings - none!

Notes - omg this was so fun! sorry if it's a little short, but i quite like it. let's be real, jolyne is the best friend ever. thanks again for the request! have a good day!! <333

And don’t forget, REQUESTS ARE OPEN! So if you want to request any writing, please don’t hesitate to ask, but please read my pinned post before requesting! Please enjoy!! Don’t forget to stay hydrated! <3

jolyne would be your hype girl

she would tell you how beautiful you are, even though you already know

she would constantly tell you that she's jealous of your body

she would love sleeping on you

just loves the squish everywhere

y'all would do everything together

heck y'all even got arrested together

you would think the whole anasui situation is the funniest thing in the world

"ooooo, jolyne's gotta boyfriend?? he's got a cute ass, dont you think??"

you would be slapped so flippin fast

or chased with a lot of giggling before you accidentally trip over emporio or something

i think before you got arrested, jolyne would love to take you shopping

she would pick clothes that make you feel confident and make your body look GOOOOOOD

jolyne is the goddess of making other girls feel good

especially you

you guys grew up together and you were made fun of in middle school a bit, but jolyne fought for you and made you feel great about your body

she would tell you that you have literally nothing to be ashamed of having a bangin body like that (and it's true, as a thicc gurl myself, chub is better)

y'all would also try the best foods

it's kinda the highlight of the friendship

but jolyne is always there for you and you're always there for her

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Scarborough Ahoy! (1994 Short Film)- Day 4 Watching Con's Filmography

Live posting. All I know is this is sad(don't know why), short, and that Con is good (and queer) in it. Watching it in 480p, so we'll see.

YELL AT ME BELOW! I NEED YALLS OPINIONS ON THIS!

Warnings for: Suicidal Ideation, full body nudity.

Also, the movies description describes Con as the 'Gay Guy' and 'Barmaid'. So 'Con' and 'Barmaid' is what I'm calling them. I'll specify Con the Actor.

Casually kicking a one-night stand out; GET IT GIRL. Didn't expect that level of nudity, but here we are.

CONNNN! He's slightly older in this one compared to Dancing, and I already don't feel wigged out.

Con's semi-startled look at 'used to get laid all the time'. Me too, babe, me too.

As a person who hates booze, the bar scene made me physically nauseous.

Con, being a bro, and making sure she was alright. Love that for him. She needs a friend.

HAHAHA Hell yeah, stick up for yourself Con, he's queer, and the guy getting you a coffee.

God, gender fucking envy. And coat envy, that thing looks warm as shit. I missed when my hair was that length(Con's). Shame I need to be more feminine presenting where I live.

DAMN. I wish I was that confident in my driving. She backed up with SPEED.

HELL YEAH, TRIP TO FIND MEN BABY! God, I know England isn't affordable to anyone, especially foreigners, but god its nice to be able to drive that in a day and actually go somewhere

Con, stop wearing my dream wardrobe. I want that fucking sweater.

OH MY GOD. This is real ally behavior, compete to see who gets more guys

Synchronize watches! The confidence into immediate, oh shit, how the fuck do i do this on both their faces is great.

Santa, fuck off.

(Con making out with a guy)Now. How the fuck haven't I seen gifs of this. tumblr, I'm surprised you weren't hornier.

SHE CHOSE SANTA. Mam, have some self-respect. I hope he is at least a gentle lover? Laughing as he goes down on you probably isn't great.

AWWW. The way they watched out for each other after getting laid. Happily just walking down the road. Oh my god, help her up. BRO, GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE ROAD.

He straight up said 'boyfriend'. Damn, love short indie films.

24? Fuck him babe, old my ass

Okay, I thought Con was going to say his guy died, not cheated. I'm trained too well in modern......OHH SHIT, whelp (he killed himself)

Babes, please learn to love yourselves.

BANGIN SOUNDTRACK

I Love that they coordinate outfits, either accidentally or not. They are the crew. Hell yeah, the ass-grabbing! Get sailor ass.

Now, mushy peas seems like hell. Actual worse thing on earth

'What's brought this on, catholic guilt?' Mood

'Feels great, sometimes not so great'

'What about love, then.' Awww babe

What game are they playing with all those colors, looks fun as shit. CON LOOKS SO HAPPY. LET THIS MAN PLAY HAPPY PEOPLE. He just fucking giggled, god damn it.

This seems like a nice road trip to mentally reset life for a bit.

Guys, if they're being passively suicidal, then at least they've got each other. See, they pushed and they still wanted to live. Cute shit.

Sexuality being fluid! Great to see this, especially for the 90s.

Love the respecting of boundaries; they both really needed to talk before moving forward. Great shit. It's probably her feeling guilty for 'tempting a gay' but... That feels depressing, so fluidity I will choose.

"Well, you can fix it; you did a course in auto mechanics, didn't you." Hahahaha

GAY EARING ON THE DRIVER. I love that Con's getting as much action as he is.

Nice of her to give them space, ally behavior

CONS HAIR

EXCUSE ME MAM, LET HIM FUCK. RUDE. Stand up for yourself CON! They're just friends. If she wanted more, she needs to communicate that. He's pulling his own and trying to reach out to find a middle ground cause he knows she's angry. I love that he comforts her even though he has every right to escalate this into a fight.

Awww, she saved him the head puzzle piece. Love that he smacked it down. His fucking grin.

THE LITTLE SHUFFLE DANCE. Also, this fucker is stealing my wardrobe again.

OH MY GOD WALTZING. I LOVE IT. Bitch, this is the most romantic thing I've ever seen. THE CINDERELLA SONG! AWWWWWWW. I love them. Bro has to understand how many mixed signals he's sending out here.

Going to the dockyard doesn't end happily in these sorts of films.

He's having thoughts and needs to fuck them out. Fair, she's gorgeous.

SHIT CALLED IT

RUN! GO HELP HIM

At least she realized pretty early that he was out too late.

(Con is revealed beaten up and bloody)SHITTTTTTT Well, that's a head wound. Scuffed hands. Okay, good, I thought he fucking died.

GIVE THE MAN A HUG

AWWW HE SAID HE LOVES HER

DON'T FUCKING LEAVE YOU JACKASS. I've read dozens of fanfic like this. DOZENS

NOOOOOOOOOOO. WHY STOP THIS NOW! I NEED A FULL MOVIE GOD DAMN IT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Con's Characters Sexuality Discussion: There are two options here. He's 'gay' as described in the film's synopsis or more fluid in a modern sense. Again, he's willing to fuck her, and clearly cares for her. Who knows if he was 'pushing his limits' and this is why she turned him down. The I love you could be romantic/sexual love, or the love of a friend. Both readings are perfectly valid by the text. The short film ends here to not answer the question and keep it ambiguous.

I'm flipping between this movie being about their friendship and finding someone to be comfortable with, or two people used to having one night stands falling in love. You know what. Both are right! (As a queer who says I love you to my straight friends. Calls them beautiful and does all of the shit Con does here, yeah, the waters are murky, who said you alone need to filter it to solve the art)

I can see a happy ending where they grow to be close friends for the rest of their lives, or just making it a probably short-lived relationship. They're both young and impulsive and need to work on themselves a bit before getting serious, but I hope they can keep this little corner of the world safe.

Cinematography(7/10): Fun! About what to expect from a short film. Nonintrusive editing.

Actors besides Con (8/10): I LOVED THE BARMAID. God, she's so fucking sweet and just needs someone in her corner. She's fun, cocky, and bullheaded in a way that fit's with Con's character. I loved their friendship. I love that she's worried about that and doesn't want to push boundaries. I wish this was a longer movie, I want to see them learning to love themselves and having each other there. Everyone else was unmemorable.

CON! The Actor 10/10: He seems more comfortable in this role than in Dancing. It makes him a more likeable character. Likely due to the size of the project, and experience. He seems like he's found his groove here, and I wish we got to see more of it. Seeing him actually flirt was a joy. Again, personally, I think the 'I love you' could be from a gay 'bff' perspective or he genuinely loves her. I love that they just feel safe with each other which is clearly what they need. Love con's look, dialogue, and everything about how he held himself. He seemed like he really opened up to her verses how Con's character acted at the beginning of the movie. That can be really hard to pull off

Story 9/10: Really fucking fun. Sweet, they both felt stuck in a rut and finally made a friend that understood them. The dialogue/writing is so fucking inspiring as I try to write fun dialogue.

REWATCHABILITY: I would say that compared to the downers I watched yesterday, this overtakes Vengeance. It helps that it's so short.

9/10. I hate giving perfect 10s when I haven't seen everything, but god is this so close. I can totally see myself giving this a retroactive 10. Writing this overview I felt like I was balancing on a tight rope trying to 'figure out' the right ending. But that's kind of the point. The relationship they build is a comfort in a shitty world, and it's fucking beautiful.

I know people said it was sad, but I found it really hopeful? They're still living their shitty lives, but they're not alone anymore.

NEXT! Still plan on Cucumber, 3 steps to heaven for weird Con, and whatever I feel in the moment. Rewatching Blood brothers today with the Brother, so wish me luck.

(I linked some people who commented last post, thanks for the comments as always!)

@treesofgreen

@ivegotnonameidea

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

There is absolutely no shade toward anyone who fits this description - I don't have to understand Korean to know it's a real language, full of beauty and vulgarity, poetry and puns, eloquence and cussing, in at least equal measure as English - but, shit, I am way too bi to understand only being into one gender.

Doubly so, weird as it sounds, for trans-inclusive, aka decent human beings who know their ass from a hole in the ground. Fuck yeah, there are men with great big tits and bangin' hips, and they're hot as hell! And there are tall, broad-shouldered, stubbled women with baritones that give you a lovely little shiver deep inside, and they're bones-melting gorgeous! And that's not even touching on expression or style!

Just, there are all kinds of people, with all kinds of bodies, and gender has bugger-all to do with that? How do you know? How do you care? Both these questions are rhetorical.

This post has no point or purpose - I'm no more enlightened than anyone else, I'm just too bi to function.

[abyssalaerlocke]

honestly you're so real for the Halsin/Tara post. I'm too scared to like it and I'm paranoid enough that I turned on my VPN to send this ask bc I live in fear of antis. But Tara passes the Harkness Test: Intelligent, able to communicate, and mature for her species. I'm half tempted to write a short anonymous fic because ugh I'm kind of obsessed. Imagine this:

Tara is in heat and the camp is going insane. She's yowling at all hours, nobody can sleep, and Gale is getting worried about her wandering off and mating with a random stray tomcat (act 3)(i don't know if tressym can have kittens with regular cats but whatever).

Seeing everyone get increasingly grumpy, bickering over nothing, and even performing badly in their battles, Halsin realises he is uniquely equipped to take care of the situation. And he is nothing if not resourceful.

He's not sure of etiquette on this, but he decides it's best to approach Gale for permission, so as not to find himself on the receiving end of a fireball when he finds out.

Gale, in his typical fashion, is incredulous, flustered, and altogether out of his depth. He eventually concedes it's for the best, acknowledging her capacity to consent.

He approaches Tara in his elf form, scritching her while they have a brief chat about it - she accepts his offer without hesitation. He wildshapes into a cat, and... well. The rest is perhaps best saved for...... not here.

Anyway thank you for this delightful little brainworm. my ADHD meds kicked in while I was rotating them in my brain so I had to get some word vomit out there!

Honestly between everyone being on board with bards bangin' dragons (in dragon form), the bear scene, countless fics of werewolves in wolf form and ones with just-dogs, with the feline displacer beast, and catgirl/boy phenomenon — I think the defining issue that separates this from all of that is size. The fact that neither partner can be in humanoid form for it to work, crosses a line for most people.

Same goes for me — not as a squick, just generally disinterest. I'm on board with that being an aspect of their relationship, but personally more interested in thinking about Tara curled up on the back of Halsin's big, fluffy, bear form.

But hey, when the muse hits ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ fiction is a good outlet, that like all the violent video games and media, lets us address things in a medium that isn't hurting anyone.

I think the biggest issue for me is consent during heat — it's something that generally turns me away from a lot of omegaverse and sex pollen fics these days. If inclined, you could make tressyms' heat less severe, or Tara's interest in Halsin discussed beforehand. He would have smiled, comfortable with the naturalness of it and flattered, without really considering indulging her at the time.

I know the mentioned WIP was Tara transforming into a human, instead of the other way around, and I'd probably go for Tabaxi or one of the other feline humanoids in DnD.

I have a brainworm of Cazador not doing the black mass, but Gale "prodigy archwizard, chosen of Mystra" Dekarios of Waterdeep is regarded by many as "the man who'll become a god". Cazador hears how Gale talks about his beloved tressym, and to earn his favour and hopefully aid one day, custom breeds some tabaxi/owlin or something — basically humanoid tressyms. And so Astarion and his siblings are basically a litter of these, and Astarion gets gifted to Gale — who was entranced, but mostly just accepted to get him out of Cazador's hands.

They pursue a relationship on their own prerogative, but Tara is very cross Gale abandoned the other poor tressym-adjacent victims of Cazador. So they go on an adventure, tracking down Astarion's siblings, who have been sold off, escaped, rescued... They find them in varying dynamics with other characters from canon. Dalyria helps Halsin as an apprentice healer in the grove, Leon is an employee for Grand Duke Wyll Ravengard, Aurelia's with Karlach, etc.

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #18

It’s that time again! The Wednesday Radio prompt list!

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

A domesticated girl that's all you ask of me

Worshipin' the only thing that's always playin' on my mind

Got a call from an old friend we used to be real close

I heard that you like the bad girls, Honey, is that true?

I'm in the bedroom with tissues and when I know you're outside bangin'

I miss you in the mornings

I found God I found him in a lover

Hey, don't write yourself off yet

I'm in his favourite sundress, Watchin' me get undressed

I've got a lover a love like religion

don't need you to worry for me 'cause I'm alright

 we can own the night Yeah, it might destroy us, but we gotta try

You say you wanna move on

You're way too young to be broken

It was your first cigarette

Put his favourite perfume on

I'm not the one Who wants to hurt you

Need a man who likes it rough

We roll around beneath these sheets

You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you

his head between my thighs

So I write this letter That I'll never send

A subtle kiss that no one sees

And I bit my lip the second you sipped The poison that was mixed for me

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds

Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

Maybe someone else'll bring a passion Out of you that I never saw

Won't go without my fix tonight 

Get a little nervous, then I stumble and I hesitate

I'm such a fool for sacrifice

Get a little closer now and I can feel it in my blood

you can't sleep with somebody else

Never take a chance because I'm too afraid my heart will break

In a hotel room where demons play

I'm starting to feel just a little abused

'Cause he's off to pay his crimes And he's got no time for mine

The teenage queen, the loaded gun

The beauty of the end.

Singin' in the old bars

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

He never returned that call

Kissin' in the blue dark

Woman, open the door,

Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I don't care what you say anymore this is my life

Maybe someday we will meet again

Tell me all the things you wanna do

You know you're doing better on your own

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey

you can't sleep alone in a strange place

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name

Falling never hurts but landing does.

behave very bad in the arms of a boy

Maybe one day you will understand That I had to I did it all for you.

You beat me at my own damn game

Say you want me Out of your life

I'm just a dead man walking tonight

 one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times

And I know right now you think there Is no reason

And I'm just as scarred as you about This freedom

So who you been calling, baby

When you're looking at those strangers, hope to God you see my face

 I give and you take

[d1nnerd0g]

Hey it's that anon again. y'know that one from like a day ago. or a few days ago I don't have a good sense of time. it could be 2030 for all I know

I think my most major like, post-canon take is that I'd probably sorta hate it if I were treating it as a real completely serious canon continuation of Homestuck. Instead I read it more like fanfic than anything, just slightly more Creator Approved than most fics.

Not to say I lack standards of quality for fanfic, but I am more open to certain character alterations and interpretations (there are still more than a handful I don't like in post-canon) because I am more cool with seeing it as someone else's vision of a character rather than them being "utterly ruined" in canon or whatever.

I think it also helps that I read all of Homestuck a couple years after HS^2 paused so I wasn't in the active fandom during all of that (I almost was! I originally tried reading back in 2011 but I fell off of it within 500 pages because I had bad taste) so I didn't actually have my opinion particularly swayed by outside influences and was just more willing to give it a fair reading.

My next most major post-canon take is that, as an epilogues and HS^2 liker, the most recent upd8 is quite literally the best I've actually felt about the writing in ANY post-canon content. I think even if I DISLIKED HS^2, I'd still be interested in seeing where it goes from here, after that.

Hi! I waited til I read all of HS2 to reply so I actually know what I’m talking about. I get you on the benefits of backreading, reading this thing in one go I cannot imagine waiting month-long pauses in between scenes, boy can you really feel them in the text (in a way that wasn’t true in the original comic.)

I don’t find that either the AH-lessness or the divisiveness of the postcanon stuff changes the fact that this is the de facto continuation of the canon storyline - it is the reason any of us are reading it. Them framing the epilogues as an AO3 fic doesn’t make them any less on homestuck.com, rejecting this continuation is an active choice you have to make as a HS reader.

Anyway reading HS2 I was surprised both by how little plot occurred (except in Candy, ironically -- oh my GOD I cannot believe Meat decided to do 3 more years of The Yard/Meteorstuck) and how overall unobjectionable it was? This comic’s just been a lot of really nice art and decently written character banter, and that’s essentially it. Then both took a shocking nosedive in ch15/16, the worst writing I’ve seen in all of HS/postcanon, which was so egregious that I think… if the New Team honestly cares about this project shouldn’t they at the very least go back and revise some of that? At least fix the numerous typos?? Instead we get Terezi offering wry meta commentary that this time she’ll “do it right”, which already communicates a dismissive attitude I’m not impressed by. But hey all we've seen so far is two new conversations, everybody loves Sollux, let’s see if JR can fanfic his way into a compelling story.

…Seriously tho anon, thanks for sharing your thoughts and I absolutely just used your ask as an excuse to bitch some opinions out. It remains true there’s nothing in HS2 that I like that hasn’t already been done or done better in fanworks, except drawing Jane looking extremely bangin I guess, but I haven’t sought that out, as a fan, so it’s like the gift I didn’t even know I wanted, and didn't want

[alxanderturners]

 | 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝑜𝓈𝓉𝓊𝓂𝑒, 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉 𝒶 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜𝑜𝓁  |

Something had shifted in Alex recently. He found himself staying out later, going to parties that he'd lost interest in long ago, essentially anything to avoid going back to increasingly suffocating hotel rooms. He wasn't entirely sure if it was the lifestyle of life on the road that he was growing weary of - or the person he was sharing it with. The more he pulled away, the harder Louise tried. If it wasn't coming to all of his shows, it was arranging 'girl dates' with his band mates wives, calling his mother for catch ups that consisted of a lot of vapid small talk, or even posting him on social media more and more - that she knew he hated - as if she had something to prove. It all would've been endearing, if it didn't feel so claustrophobic.

Just the other night, he'd been out in Glasgow after the show, which was rare enough in itself, when he'd caught a man smiling over the bar at him. But that wasn't unusual. He'd grown used to the all knowing smile that said "I know who you are" - what was more unusual was his bodies response to it. For the first time in a long time, instead of dreading the common request for a selfie, he had sort of wanted the man to come over. But he never did. That alone was enough to make him pull the "not tonight, darling, I've got a bangin' headache" excuse out the bag when in bed with his girlfriend later that night.

Once again, he found himself back on home soil, doing anything to keep himself occupied. He wasn't sure whether it was his prior conversation with Mike that had brought him to see Brokeback Mountain, or the sheer coincidence that he had walked past a large poster announcing the show on the side of it's theatre. Whatever the case, it was a decision that had left him in near-tears. Whether it was the intimacy of the performance, or how true some of the moments had rang, Alex knew he had to commend the man who had brought him here.

Throughout the entirety of the show, his eyes gravitated towards Mike - whom was playing the bolder character, who was evidently more in touch with himself than the other - and he was reminded of Miles. He remembered precisely the moment his best friend had burst into his life, in the very early days of The Little Flames. Every body harboured a crush on the band's female vocalist, but Alex had gravitated naturally towards the man who would have a massive impact on his life. He was a much better guitar player than him at the time, and once Miles had begun to help him improve with lessons down at the local park, they fancied themselves as the next Lennon and McCartney. Even went as far as donning matching Beatle-esque hair styles. It wasn't until years later that Miles had put their friendship on the line on some random Tuesday night. Alex could remember it vividly. He'd told Miles about his plans to move an ocean away with Alexa - things had started to get more serious than he'd ever anticipated - and Miles' response had been to lay a kiss on him. A kiss that he could never quite put his finger on. Had it stirred up so many emotions within him because it had tested his very real love for Alexa? Or because that love would always be shared with his best friend?

Over the coming years, a lot of casual kisses followed - each one more daring and exciting than the last. They'd pose it as just dicking around on stage, though what they followed it with some nights was far from playing up just for the sake of the crowd. Once it had moved into private quarters, Alex was no longer certain if he was straight, bi, or only had feelings for one man. And he would never speak on it. Even now, he hadn't told anyone about his history with Miles - though he had a feeling those closest to him had always known. After all, how could they not?

"One heck of a show, that". After the last of the remaining stragglers at stage door had dispersed, Alex had waited until Mike was within ear shot to catch him before he made his way home for the night. "You fancy a beer?" @mikeefaist

[platypanthewriter]

Omigosh asks

This is a three-parter soooo

Some prompt fills I wonder whether I should post them, because I feel like I tried...something, but I’m not sure whether it worked at all!  Also I’ll get really excited about something weird (Steve and Billy as wlw in the Robin Hood story...them as detectives...them getting arranged to marry AGAIN...) and I’m pretty sure nobody’s gonna be as excited as I am Really though the one I was most wary of posting was Strangest, because before then I’d posted for children’s fandoms with no real sex or heavy stuff so I felt weird putting up violent teenagers bangin’ next to a bunch of wholesome cutesy stuff (But I was hyperfocused and couldn’t help writing more and more and more)

[mermaidsirennikita]

Miss Caro, what do you mean with this post: You're telling me this might all be for the love of Ted Lasso. What happened now???

Wellllll

Disclaimer: none of this is confirmed, it's based on speculation, I don't know any of these people, it's just fun drama that, if you look at it closely, is steeped in misogyny and has shades of... Other celebrity scandals steeped in misogyny, of the recent past and yesteryear.

For background--

Olivia Wilde dated Jason Sudeikis, to whom I shall hence refer to as "Ted Lasso", a former SNL comedian, erstwhile lover of one January Jones, and pal of Fred Armisen (which... again, the professional makeover Jason has done for Ted Lasso is incredible) for about ten years, during which they got engaged, but never married, and had two children.

Florence Pugh was in a relationship for a few years with Zach Braff, "director", TV sitcom actor, and navel gazer to whom I shall hence refer to as "Scrubs". This relationship did not progress beyond dating and cohabitating, as far as we know, but Florence took it VERY seriously. She defended it many times when people called out their 21 year age gap, and she was pretty aggressively defensive on both social media and the press. Recently (as in this summer) Florence went on a vacation with one Will Poulter (he's just Will Poulter, I respect him as an actor) who had, I shall note for the record, GOTTEN RECENTLY BUFF. Will and Florence were in Ari Aster's 2019 film Midsommar together, and are presumably at least friends, and Florence was seen jumping around the water with Will in a bikini, looking quite bangin', and as someone with notable breasts myself, I shall say, I would not PERSONALLY be cavorting in such a sense with a RECENTLY BUFF FRIEND if I wasn't trying to fuck him, but Florence got really pissed that the internet DAREST COMMENT ON THAT BEING A CUTE LOOK and said no way, Will Poulter was not touching her black widow!!!! Shortly after, she and Scrubs broke up.

That's not super relevant, I'd just like to state that I personally think she and Will Poulter probably did hook up, and that's fine, but like. You know. She's already got a movie coming out with Scrubs now, so the damage is done.

Let us return to the relationship of Olivia Wilde and Ted Lasso. It is actually pretty unclear--did Olivia start dating Watermelon Sugar High Giver and Shania Twain enthusiast Harry Styles before she and Jason officially called it quits? Or did they not? Officially, the record has Harry and Olivia dating after she and Jason broke up, but let's be real, nobody is going to like... cop to cheating if they don't have to. Some would have Olivia casting Harry Styles, then fucking him behind Ted Lasso's back on the set of Don't Worry Darling. Others would have her dating him prior to him being cast.

Either way, I think that it's kind of impossible to know, especially when you're dealing with a long term, very serious relationship involving shit like kids and mortgages and such as that, because... Chances are, those bitches were separated for a while before it ENDED ended. Long term couples do shit like that. And I WOULD POSIT that there had likely been another!!! Not 1D-related mess!!!! That led to the downfall of Olivia and Ted Lasso, whether or not she was still with Ted Lasso when she first got with Harry Styles.

ENTER: Keeley Hazell. Keeley is a model and actress, who let's be real, none of us really know about, but who rather crucially appeared in the film Horrible Bosses 2. (Disclaimer: have not seen this movie, will probably never see this movie even though I am attracted to Jason Bateman, let's not unpack it.) Who else appeared in this film? One Ted Lasso. (Also: Chris Pine, which throws me a little, but I'm gonna dismiss it for now because I honestly don't think Chris Pine has the time or the social bandwidth to keep up with this shit. When all this was going down, for all I know Chris Pine was getting cucked by Sebastian Stan, so............. other problems, maybe??? OH TO HAVE BEEN INVITED TO ROBERT PATTINSON'S BIRTHDAY BASH.). When did this movie film? Between September 2013 and June 2014. Don't ask me why it took that long to film, because the point is: when Ted Lasso releases... Ted Lasso, there is a principle character named Keeley (who, actually, is a model and is the main Romantic Sexy Girl of the show). And who does Jason Sudeikis conveniently begin dating after his split from Olivia? Keeley Hazell.

Am I suggesting that it's weird for a man to JUST SO HAPPEN to meet a woman while he's with his current fiancee/babies' mother and then start dating her about 7 years later, after he and his partner broke up, without ANY prior romantic attraction/attention/whatsoever? I don't know. Maybe they were open. Maybe he and Keeley somehow had a totally platonic friendship for... again, 7 years. But I want you to look at this as a paranoid individual would after having a long-ass relationship end. Would you.... not wonder?

This is to say, I think the narrative of the Olivia/Ted Lasso relationship and breakup is a lot more complicated than people wanna admit; that he is not a perfect cuddly Ted Lasso man in real life, and is a flawed individual like any of us, but especially like rich white men who are friends with Fred Armisen might be; and that... Yeah, bro. That custody paper thing? Might've been a hint that he's a douchebag.

ON TO THE PRESENT DAY:

It recently resurfaced that Scrubs, noted for making movies that I personally could never take seriously even if you paid me to, is a friend of Ted Lasso, to the point that he directed an episode of the show Ted Lasso in its first season. Who made a cameo in that episode which was hilariously??? Cut??? ONE FLORENCE PUGH.

Do I find it incredibly cringe that she was doing a cameo on a sitcom as an up and coming Meryl Streepian type actress because her old-ass boyfriend was directing it? Yes. Yes I do. Whoever had that cut, even if it was Scrubs himself, did her a favor.

But perhaps crucial to this story is the fact that Florence seems to lose all sense of dignity around Scrubs. She defended (I find this compilation very funny) their relationship (when, to stress, she could've just said nothing, a thing she seems to have learned to do now that everyone is putting her on a feminist pedestal) all the time. And tbh, Florence is a grown woman who can do what she wants to do, I personally don't even have an issue with the age gap (I have a bigger issue with the fact that it was doing nothing for her career and tbh, seemed to be a relationship she defended rather immaturely when the mature thing would've just been to go about her day--if you date older, people are gonna say shit, 'tis the world) but she clearly cared A LOT. She cared a lot to let this man, who has not been a "hot director" in many years, direct her during a time in her career when she can and should work with the big dogs. That says a lot. I didn't like Mother!, but damn, at least when JLaw did it she did it for a NAME.

Florence also clearly likes a middle-aged white guy who's seen better days, because, as has been discussed here, she was out there liking those Johnny Depp posts. Might I suggest: Florence Pugh is probably not a horrid person. But she is at an age where, if you have been... I don't know, sheltered from the real world by focusing on your acting career a lot and shacking up with an older man who you think the world of, who you think knows everything about everything... I could see you becoming a bit sheltered. Perhaps naive. I say that as someone not much older than her.

So: is it out of the realm of possibility that what actually happened is that Ted Lasso and Olivia had a messy breakup, probably after Florence was hired to do DWD, and Florence sided with Ted Lasso because Scrubs sided with Ted Lasso and Florence though Scrubs was the hottest of shit. Could it be that tension grew between the women, and perhaps other shit unwounded and devolved from there? Could it be that at the end of the day, this began with Florence Pugh caring way too much about her boss's sex life?

Because, I don't know about you, but a lot of us have had bosses with horrible personal lives, which perhaps even affected the workplace at some point... And we've just had to keep our heads down, do the job, and collect the check. Perhaps I would suggest that as a woman in her mid-twenties who's never been married or had kids, and whose most significant relationship we know of was with Dr. John Dorian, has no business really getting into the weeds of a decade-long relationship with children behind ween two people who honestly both seem pretty messy? (If Florence did in fact do this, idk that she did.)

And might I also suggest that, considering the fact that Shia denies strife with Florence (not that we can trust him, the man who repeatedly abuses women and somehow came out of this with the best look??? Almost like that's what he intended and for her own personal bullshit, Florence fed into it) and the video with Olivia never alludes in any kind of direct way to Florence and Shia not getting along--she only says the immortal Miss Flo getting a wakeup call line, which could've been about anything--and Florence herself refuses to confirm any bad blood with Shia... The issue was never Shia? The issue was Florence Pugh caring way too much about a friend's personal life, a friend who was initially the friend of her boyfriend? To the point that she's helped torpedo a press tour for an entire movie???

As someone who is again, basically Florence's age and very well-acquainted with sheltered, perhaps initially well-meaning women who think they know it all because their boyfriends quote Keats, also this age... I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility.

And to be clear: I actually think Florence is a fab actress, and I've enjoyed some vibes from her prior to the Depp thing making me... question shit. I actually have never liked Olivia Wilde--but the way all of this seems to come back to her relationship with her baby's father, who people seem to be sympathizing with because she's... fucking a known sex object now? And not looking the way a mom "should" look? While he plays an "aw shucks" guy people have now identified with him onscreen? Idk, seems a lot like how I've seen regular, ordinary women get framed by their social circles after they get out of relationships with their children's fathers, who perhaps are a bit more complex than they seem on the surface.

Like, listen, at this point I'm sure it's about a lot more than whatever it started out as. But do I think it could've started as a simple "my boyfriend's friend who I think is my friend even though we'll probably stop talking within a year of my breaking up with my boyfriend is being TREATED BAD by his BAD BAD BABY MAMA and I'm MAD about it"...? Yeah. Because humans are inherently petty and kinda stupid, and I think Florence has some growing up to do in general, based on how she's handled this whole press thing and the fact that it affects... Her actual career with which she makes money, probably.

AAAAAND SCENE.

[wheatlev]

at work rn so I can’t take saw trap pictures but community theatre n it’s the same prop I used in the show. here’s a couple pictures :3

do you not have licensing in germany open yet? ik it’s on tour rn there so maybe not huh. a bunch of theatres in america this past summer did it as a fun summer show to get back in the swing of things post-pandemic (there WAS half a season before that but it was like 99% sondheim bc. yknow)

(tumblr let me post this I swear-)

first of all that's kind of a Look TM not gonna lie! are those fangs or snake bites (or spider bites one of the two) because that looks really bangin as well

Karen'd glowy glasses are also a look!! honestly all of this is a look TM I need to figure out a way to compliment people outside of saying 'this slaps' constantly

you are the second musical!Plankton with green hair as well and honestly it suits you (like as a person). thisi s coming from teh guy who wanted blue hair at some point though so maybe i am just struck with anime syndrome who knows

as for the second half of the ask. It IS on tour - I saw it live about a week ago (and wish I could see it again), I made a handful posts about it lol

still no German OST but that's a gripe I have with Germany being very ..... slow honestly. like guys, i really thought after the german-speaking tour we'd get one of the premiere but i guess NOT

I would totally jump back into this sort of thing but I think I've aged out of the youth theater group in my city and I am very disabled anyway so. guess I could be Karen in a wheelchair for real. can you tell I have adhd yet

lastly you should totally send me the saw trap when you can!! I will exchange it for a picture of my Plankton plush collection of (two of them).

(Imma make this non-rebloggable JUST in case you don't want your real face out there in teh bloggosphere lmao but I can always make it rebloggable once I get the okay)