#this phrase is going to haunt me the rest of my life and I love it

[daisynik7]

nii-chan chaser supremacy

hell yeah, here are my fave nii-chans in no particular order:

[oneforthemunny]

🧸, 🪺, 🔮

rockstar!eddie, baby/kid fic, vacation.

"I feel like I'm herding a bunch of fuckin' cats." Eddie muttered under his breath, reaching for Sicily who started to bound towards the door.

"What?" You frowned, nose crinkling in slight amusement at the phrase. "What does that mean?"

"Nothin'- Hey! Sienna Noelle, sit down." Eddie hissed over the squeals of laughter from the twins, who thought running away from Eddie was the most fun game in the world.

You bit back a smile, ducking to press a kiss to Zahra's head, the toddler lulling to sleep on your lap. It had been an exciting day after all, a trip to Disneyland. It was Eddie's idea, a sweet but chaotic one at that. He wanted the stereotypical trip to the "happiest place on earth" with his family- one the both of you never got to have.

The girls had been more than excited, seeing each of their favorite characters throughout the parks, riding the rides. Eddie had nearly thrown up on the tea cups, grimacing as Kensington and Persephone squealed with joy, twirling them as fast as they could.

Now, in the private room the VIP tour offered, everyone was exhausted, hungry, a little cranky. Except the twins, who napped in their strollers and were energized after a Mickey pretzel.

"Are we going back?" Persephone mumbled, eyes starting to droop the same way Eddie's did when he was tired, fighting sleep. "I wanna ride the Peter Pan ride again."

"We'll ride it again." You cooed, swaying Zahra on your lap. "It'll be a little later. We're going to eat, and then we'll head back to the hotel room for a little bit. Let everyone get some rest so we can watch the fireworks later."

"I don't wanna go back to the room." Kensington whined, knuckling at her eyes. "I wanna go see the Princesses again."

"You'll get to see them later, Kens." Eddie hummed. "We still have two days left. And you have dinner at the castle tomorrow."

Kensington perked at the mention, seemingly settled for now.

The walk back was quiet, even the twins nodding off in their stroller, Persephone on Eddie's hip as he pushed Zahra's stroller one handed. "You think they're having fun?" Eddie hummed, following the Disney escort to the monorail.

You grinned, looking down at the exhausted kids, who had spent hours before squealing and beaming with excitement. "Yeah, I think they're having a lot of fun." You giggled lightly. "Even Sephy."

"Yeah," Eddie snorted lightly. "She's loving that Haunted Mansion ride. We've been on it, like, four times today."

"She's so your kid." You clicked lightly, head shaking playfully at him. "But I did swing by the gift shop after the second time. Picked her up a little shirt with the ghosts on it. I figured she could wear it later."

"She'll love that." Eddie beamed, dimples creasing in his stubbled cheeks. There was a pause, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you.

"Are you having fun?" You asked, looking up at him carefully. "Everything you wanted it to be?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" Eddie scoffed lightly. "Havin' the time of my life, baby. Kids are having fun, we get VIP service, and get to see you in your little ears." He teased gently.

The infamous Mickey ears, a rite of passage you assumed. All the girls had gotten a pair, and Eddie had insisted you had some too. You rolled your eyes at him when he passed them to you, but he didn't miss the way you smiled- the way your features brightened with joy as the girls squealed that you matched them. There was something so healing about getting to do that with your babies, what you didn't have with your own parents.

[fryktheciller]

rosin and cuddles

charlie dalton x gn!reader

notes: you guys i love charlie so much its getting bad and i kinda hate the violin as a pianist but ravel's string quarted basically begged me to write something inspired by it. also, if you'd like to listen to the piece this is the movement i wrote about. enjoy!!

tw: HEAVY swearing (charlie uses fuck as a comma it's canon) and mentions of weed, sex and orgies

Time moves slowly with the bow in hand. Ravel’s string quartet’s pizzicato really couldn't come out right, or, rather, like you wanted it to sound. The weirdly positioned bow makes your hands hurt, the right index finger all sore and a few steps away from bleeding from the pizzicato’s torture, and the left hand numb from the trillo.

“Why the violin, what did I do wrong with my life?” You whisper to yourself, screwing the first phrase and moving into the “bien chanté” one. Your index on the bow feels like heaven, and the legato and more melodic tempo make your focus shift from the sheet music in front of you to the first drops of rain outside.

Charlie comes in, without knocking, and you breathe a sigh, knowing you’re not going to be able to touch the violin until tomorrow. The perspective of doing nothing all night is both sweet and bitter; practice guilt haunts you even in your sleep.

He walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your free shoulder.

—You smell good.

—Of what? Rosin and hair?

He doesn’t reply, just a quick peck on your jaw and pulls back as you put down the bow and dismantle the worn out orange shoulder rest. You rest the violin in its case, as November's typical drizzle turns into heavy rain; you put away the scores on an already messy desk and don’t even bother to close and put back the black and old stand. He sits on the bed, watching you with a stupid smile on his face. You turn at him and lay on the bed, taking off your slippers in the meantime and copying his smile. He follows you, and lays on your chest, arms wrapped around your waist. Your hands slide through his hair, raking through the chestnut locks and scratching his scalp. Charlie takes your hand, kisses it, and nibbles on the tips of your fingers, red and marked from the strings.

–Ouch!– you whine.

–You’re being dramatic.

–Look who’s talking.

He doesn’t reply, shifting towards your neck and burning his nose there.

–You smell good.

–Again?

–'m just sayin’, Jesus…

You grin at him, and he replies with one of his own.

–Will you slap me if I try to kiss you?

–Try and see.

He does, pressing his lips against yours and lingering there; you smile and kiss him back.

It quickly becomes a messy French kiss, and you pull away, flushed and breathless.

–I should’ve slapped you.

–You didn’t. Too bad.– he mocks you, his usual grin curving his lips.

You roll on your side, burying your nose in his neck.

–You’re warm, hot, even.

–I’m going to need some elaboration on that sentence.

–Fuck you.

–Right now?– he sighs, mockingly frustrated. –You do realize sometimes it's great just to cuddle?

You let out a fake laugh, and pull back from his neck, sitting up on the bed and crossing your legs.

–Awww c’moooon!– he whines, your absence leaving him a little colder.

–You’re so fucking insufferable. I fucking hate you.

–Are you for real?!

He sits up on the bed, mocking surprise all over his face.

–I thought I was the only one. I really hate you too!!

You grin at him, the hearty laugh of both of you filling the room. Then you lay back down on the bed, still chuckling; he follows you, arms around your waist, and pulls you as close as possible.

You sigh, clinging onto him as well and closing your eyes.

–’m still mad, for the record.

–Sure you are. How’s Ravel going?

–One fucking hell of a bastard. Amazing, though.

–What? The idea or the practice?– he laughs with sarcasm, and you chuckle as well.

–I absolutely love the second movement, but he was such an asshole to write the first violin’s part so hard.

–Drop the violin and pick up the sax.

–Sure, and does the pack include becoming like you?

–Mean like charming, smart, handsome, and, oh so sexy? Of course.

–More like a fucking cunt, a slut, stupid, and hateful?

He laughs, and you follow him.

–But the violin’s so...

–Amazing? Fun to play and listen to? Cunty?

–Oh, so the violin can be cunty, and I can't? This isn't playing fair!

You laugh heartily, while he pouts mockingly.

–Violin reminds me of Cameron.

–And when did it exactly become a bad thing?

He pulls back, eyebrows raised, and a half-smirk curving his lips.

–Are you fucking for real?

–I like Cameron. He helps me with trig.

–If we had a truth detector, it would be red, like communists. Also, why didn’t you tell me you had a thing for degradation?

You chuckle and pull his ear; he hisses and laughs.

–Still, he’s a fucking snitch,– he mumbles.

–Bringing weed into Welton isn’t exactly great.

–It's not like he says anything about cigarettes.

–Weed is on another fucking level, Charlie.

–Wanna blaze tonight?

–Blaze as in “we cuddle until I reach the temperature of the sun”?

–I’ll go and ask Knox, then.

–You’re really so fucking desperate to get high?

–It’s fun. I’ll be in his room, if you change your mind.

–If you two end up having sex, I’m breaking up with you.

–Yeah, and if I cook one meal, I become a chef.

–That’s a different matter.

–How is that—you know what? I’m fucking Overstreet tonight.– And he pulls back, sitting on the bed, looking at the messy wool blankets over the bed, then at you, with an unserious challenging gaze.

–Can I join, though?

An ugly smirk curls his lips.

–What? The Romans didn’t add women to orgies for nothing.

He smirks wider, and you whine.

–Come back here, c'mon.

He obliges, still silent. You chuckle.

–What is it? Are you mad?

–I'm not mad.

You chuckle and peck his lips.

–Were you for real, though?– he mutters with a soft voice.

You pull once again his ear in response. He whines and chuckles.

–Asking wasn’t supposed to hurt!

–And you weren’t supposed to ask, you slut.

–I'm getting hard, I'm telling you.

–Oh my god, Charlie,– you sigh, shaking your head.

–Your fault.

You laugh and shift a little, so you’re facing him directly.

–Sometimes, which is all the time, I wonder how you can say these sorts of things with a straight face.

–Sort of question Cameron would ask. Are you sleeping with him or something?

–Maybe he stole my soul,– you whisper, smirking.

–You’re flattering him. He wouldn’t have the balls to do that.

You shrug and chuckle.

–We always end up talking about him.

–Your fault.

–It’s always my fault, isn’t it?

He nods and pecks at your lips.

–It was your fault we got scolded today.

–You slapped my ass!

–And you were dramatic about it.

You laugh, and he follows you.

–I hate you.

–Are you sure? The truth detector’s kind of red.

You sigh in response and bury your head in the crook of his neck, and he pulls you closer, running his hands through your hair. Your eyelids grow heavy, and you nap a little, listening to the loud rain outside; until he lets out a (purposefully) loud sneeze.

–Oh, fuck you, Charlie.

–You’ve got this ugly, stinky, fucking rosin; it’s not my fault.

–You said I smelled good earlier.

–Earlier.

You sigh again, pulling back a little.

–Did you study history?

–Look at me in the eyes, you tell me.

You chuckle and pretend to be deep in thought while staring at your own reflection in his eyes.

–The stars say yes,– you murmur, in mock seriousness.

–The stars are fucking dumb.

–You swear a little too fucking much.

–Oh, sorry, mom,– he pleads, faking puppy eyes and a pout.

You chuckle with sarcasm and roll on your back, facing the ceiling.

–Me neither, for the record.

–You’re helping me with the test anyway.

–Oh, yeah, like last time, where we ended up in Nolan’s office.

–We got out of there because of that pretty face of yours, though.

–Is it supposed to be flattering?

–Well, is it?

–’m sorry…

He laughs, and you follow him. He shifts, resting in the crook of your neck, and your arms wrap around his neck, scratching his nape.

–You smell good.

–It's the second or third time you’ve told me.

–Oh, well, sorry for not being able to do anything but profess the truth.

–You literally told me “you’ve got this ugly stinky fucking rosin” a second ago.

–You smell good. The rosin’s fucking nasty.

You chuckle, and he smiles against your neck. Your hands move to his scalp, scratching and running through his hair, and his hands slide down your sweater, tracing little circles on the bare skin of your waist.

–You’re so warm,– he whispers, and you kiss his temple in response.

You rest your head on his own, listening to his steady breathing.

–Are you coming tonight?

–It’s raining, and it won’t stop anytime soon.

–Just say you don’t want to come.

–Shut up, Charlie.

–I have a letter for you.

You smile at his words and chuckle a little.

–Sweet.

–Sweet indeed.

–Now tell me, did Todd write it and you copied it with that pretty handwriting of yours?

He chuckles, biting your neck in response.

–I wrote it by myself.

–No need to lie, pretty boy,– you whisper with sarcasm.

He chuckles again, and you go along with him.

Silence falls again, your focus drifting from his breathing to the heavy rain outside.

–You coming, then?

–Only if you carry me there.

He grins and chuckles, actually considering your suggestion.

–Bet.

–Fifty dollars you can’t make it without putting me down for a little.

–Prepare the money.

You chuckle, and him along with you.

–We should really study for tomorrow,– you mumble, tugging at his hair.

–You’ll pass. You’re smart… I’ll copy from Meeks, and you.

–How much are you paying him?

–Ten dollars and a magazine.

–Pricey. And me?

–What do you want?

–What are you willing to give me?

–Unconditional love and affection until I die.

–That’s the basic plan. Anything else?

–The best sex of your life.

–Fair, but still in the basic plan.

He sighs and chuckles.

–So demanding. Cigarettes?

–How much are we talking about?

–Three packs a month?

–Fair enough.

–And you let me copy all your Latin and trig homework.

–Bold of you to assume I do them.

–You do them for me.

You laugh, and he laughs along with you.

He snuggles closer, leaving faint kisses on your neck; your eyelids become heavy again, and your hands in his hair slow down.

–We’re going to miss dinner,– you whisper, more asleep than awake.

He doesn’t reply; he just tightens the grip on your waist, and his breath becomes slower and heavier.

Needless to say, you skipped both dinner and the meeting.

[always-andromeda]

aaaAAA valentines prompts are here!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) weeee please spare some white chocolate truffle for love of my life dwayne? thank you dearest, compliments to the chef (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

– ��𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦

𝐃𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: aHH okay this was super cute!! I hope you enjoy this one, anon!! also lmao, yes, the title is a song. it's from Yellow House and it always reminds me of Dwayne. <3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Dwayne is aged up to be high school senior, pure fluff, bits of Dwayne being a little pessimistic guy, nothing else I can think of!

First period hadn't even started yet and already you could tell that Dwayne was itching for the final bell. He sighed, folding his hands together and resting his chin on top of them. You watched him peer out from under his curtain of dark hair at a few students around you both exchanging cards, candies, and little stuffed toys. 

"Doing okay there, Dwayne?" you asked as you unloaded your textbook and your binder.

He threw you a sideways glance and replied blankly, "I'm a ray of sunshine." Whatever modicum of patience he usually had in school was drained entirely by Valentine's Day.

"Oh, yeah. You're looking especially chipper today."

This time, Dwayne turned to look at you fully with his brow furrowed.

"It's a joke."

"Have you seen what's been going on today?"

"Uh, yeah, it's a holiday," you shrugged.

"It's bullshit. It's an excuse for fucking candy and card companies to make a killing," he sneered. "Because if you don't buy your boyfriend or girlfriend a stupid piece of paper that says 'I love you' then you're obviously a bad person, right?"

You scoffed, "Not exactly."

That earned another scowl from Dwayne.

"Listen, I get what you mean. It can be superficial and overbearing sometimes, I guess." You struggled to conjure the right words to explain yourself in a way that Dwayne would understand, "But...it's nice sometimes, ya know? It's nice to have someone show that they thought about you."

"Please," Dwayne dismissed. "It's not about thought or care. It's all...bullshit social transactions that no one is gonna give a shit about after we graduate anyways. It's just...dumb."

Placing a hand over the top of your binder defensively, the more Dwayne spoke, the more you found a lump forming in your throat. It made it even harder to speak as you choked out, "Dumb?"

"Yeah. And...gross," he huffed with an air of stubbornness. He'd never been particularly fond of the holiday; the unnecessary drama of couples asking each other to be their Valentine and the gossip that came from rejections for days afterwards. But...you thought...

With a new wave of frustration, you flipped open the cover of your binder and pulled a card out from the inside flap. You slid it across the top of the table in Dwayne's direction. "Then there's a stupid card for you, Dwayne. Happy Valentine's Day," you added bitterly.

Dwayne froze. Already, the cover threw him off. There was the haunting phrase of the day written out in your handwriting and above it, a drawing of a bouquet of flowers in glitter gel pens. Slowly, he opened the card, finding more of your handwriting hiding inside.

I know this is super cliche. And you're probably going to roll your eyes at me when you read this. Promise me you won't hate me too much. Or at least promise me you'll spare me the embarrassment and forget this immediately after you read it. I just had to try at least once. But I really like you. Will you be my Valentine?

With your head hidden in your folded arms, you could only guess what you and Dwayne looked like to the rest of your classmates. Already, you were anticipating how that scene would get spun. Everyone talked about how you and Dwayne were bound to end up together, seeing as you're one of the only people that would willingly hang around with the reclusive guy. And one of the only people that he would actually let hang around him.

Your first thought after that was to think about Dwayne. He didn't like being the center of attention. Being talked about like this would be the most aggravating thing in the world. And god, it frustrated you that even when he was being a jerk, you still worried about him.

Then you felt a poke on your shoulder. You raised your head and found Dwayne, still looking at the card and tracing the flowers on the cover. But this time his hand was on the table, open with his palm facing up. Inviting you to grab it. Which you do, quickly.

"I'm sorry for what I said," he muttered.

You sniffed softly. "That's okay."

"I like the card."

"Thanks."

“And I'll be–" Dwayne paused. "I'll be your Valentine."

The exhilaration inside you flared so intensely that you couldn't help but squeeze his hand in return. And Dwayne also couldn't help the tiny smile that formed on his lips when he felt the warmth of your sweaty hand enveloping his. Maybe both of you could be right about Valentine's Day. It was gross. But...nice. Very nice.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

getting shit together~

day 1/50 productivity challenge

26/august/2024 - monday

no school today so yay! i don't really have anything urgent to "catch up" on but i've fallen severely behind on my own study plan. considering i don't go to any extra tuition/coaching, i need to be disciplined in my time management and hold myself accountable to the reasonable plans i made for myself. i'm not in too deep though so all i need to do now is get back on track.

🕒 10:00 a.m.

morning skincare

extended duolingo streak

cleaned out email + photo gallery

practiced playing keyboard

enough is enough with my procrastination towards studying. i mean i even watch study motivation videos on youtube instead of studying! so i just made a cup of coffee and dived straight into work.

studied psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

something to say: the ncert psychology textbook is actual nonsense. thank god for my teacher, he actually explains each concept mentioned in the textbook and so much more. if it wasn't for his classes, i don't think i would have understood literally anything in the textbook. the fact that he's most probably leaving next year is kinda making me anxious because what if the next teacher is absolute shit. this is a subject that involves lots of theory and long lectures. my current teacher is very animated in his discussions and he also involves us students too. it's never a boring class. but if the next teacher is boring i will literally start hating the class, and i don't want that to happen considering i love this subject and am actually planning on pursuing it in the future.

also akjsdfhkjashgdjkg sigmund freud, that man, istg, is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.

it really grates on my skin if my room is dusty. and that easy annoyance combined with being a maximalist who loves trinkets is not a good combination. the universe decided to make me a walking contradiction, in many areas of my life. i make it a thing to clean my room at least once every week.

cleaned my room

did a workout video (when the workout leaves you sore>>>)

i like to do the dusty and sweaty work before taking bath so that i feel clean for the rest of the day. also thank fuck my periods ended yesterday, i hate them so much ugh i never even want to be pregnant.

took bath

prepared for seminar for psychology

basically us students have to learn the 6th chapter and "teach" it to the teacher. since we're only 3 students, our teacher told us to divide the topics amongst ourselves. we're supposed to start tomorrow but my topic is probably not tomorrow since i'm doing the second part of three. i still want to start preparing. presentations always make me nervous but i know that if i'm prepared i don't do bad at all.

night skincare

🕒 12:30 a.m.

will probably get around 6 hours of sleep.

also, random warning/tip but don't trust the ai generated summary of answers that comes up first when you search anything on google. it just uses whatever phrases it can to make a coherent set of statements. but a lot of the time, it doesn't summarize correctly at all. click on the results of a legit website to at least quickly cross-check. do not take info solely from the ai tool.

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[yiminsuu]

Can you like.... Write something (maybe like Nsfw of Fluff) about Freyr? I really loved the one with Tyr BTW

You mean write a headcanon or no...? Please be more specific for writers. And thank you, I’m happy you liked it! 😊💕

↳ NSFW Headcanons

The first thing you need to know about Freyr is that he is very charismatic and competent, and Kratos might say otherwise, but we all know Freyr is probably the only god that has been able to unite realms in war to stop one common enemy (correct me if I'm wrong).

So you meet Freyr and he doesn't trust you immediately, as any good leader should, but time passes and you keep protecting and fighting for Vanaheim and he develops a small crush that he prefers to ignore... Until he can't that is, and Lúnda keeps staring at him with an amused grin that just makes him uncomfortable.

Freyr is the first one to check on you when you get hurt, he won't leave your side even if you are safe and sleeping.

Makes one or two mistakes daily when you catch each other staring, he’ll smile like an idiot in love.

Sometimes he just enters your tent to see how you are doing and if he can spend some time with you without thinking about war. Those are the moments he adores.

You need to go into the wild and pick up some stuff? No probs, he goes with you, there's no way he's going to let you go alone, he's there to watch your back... And ensure that no certain Aesir will touch a single string of hair.

Loves touching you, without realizing Freyr might get cozy when you are near. Places his hand on your shoulder, caresses your arm down to your hand slowly, and sometimes even touches your hair if only a little.

You'll be the first person he thinks about when he wakes, and the last thought to drift off to sleep.

The second thing you need to keep in mind is that he is an absolute funny/awkward flirt (don't change my mind), he'll try hard to get your attention.

Doesn't care if you are shy or extroverted, I think the kind of person he would want to be in a relationship is with someone loyal, someone he can cry onto when the thought of Freya haunts his mind, someone he can trust to be himself and not be judged. He is opening his heart and soul, and he'll still be afraid.

Protective. Freyr always puts you before him when you are in danger, you are everything he desires in life, and he won't let anything happen to you now that you are his.

Freyr feels distressed the first time you see him taking the Vanir 'herbs', and it is an addiction and he admits it, if you are willing to stay and help him, he'll see you as the angel that saved his life multiple times.

Kisses, kisses and more kisses. All the time and everywhere.

He also loves kissing you even in front of others.

"Later, Freyr... Not here..."

He chuckles. "Don't be ashamed now, last night you didn't mind me at all."

(I swear Brok and Freya are so done with the two of you).

When he's asleep he will cling to you like a koala to a tree, some nights he’ll whisper the fluffiest and sweetest phrases in your ear. If you try to pull away he'll snuggle you closer.

He loves the little things like your hands interlaced, or brushing your lips together in the dark.

If you perhaps stay at camp and the group goes off to protect Vanaheim, when he comes back he tackles you to the ground, happy to see you again.

Nicknames! Freyr loves to call you 'sunshine', 'darling', and he's getting used to 'princess'. There are times he'll mess with you and call you 'my cutie patootie', he says you are adorable when you get mad.

Dances in the moonlight, Freyr will take you somewhere more private and spend the rest of the night with you, and there is no need for music to make it perfect, looking into his eyes is enough.

Freyr loves you, and he shows his feelings for you every day. Understand that he has a lot of work to protect Vanaheim and he stresses over it often, you are the only one that gives him light and warmth.

[eluvion]

elektra natchios aesthetic

/

Villain - Searows / Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives / The Oresteia - Aeschylus / Antigone - Jean Anouilh (tr. Lewis Galantiere) / Planet of Love - Richard Siken / @moldavite / H of H Playbook - Anne Carson / Anecdote of the Pig - Tory Adkisson / @exigencelost / Things haunt - Joshua Jennifer Espinoza / Wishbone - Richard Siken

[ID under cut]

[Image ID:

Picture 1: Two sets of lyrics, one from the song "Villain" by Searows, and one from the song "Never Love an Anchor" by The Crane Wives. The lyrics from "Villain" say, "I started a war / I'm gonna fuck it all up / And I'll probably pay with my life / And I know you told me / That everything's fine / But I wrote this story / Before it was mine / And I know there's a villain / But I'm worried it's me this time." The lyrics from "Never Love an Anchor" say, "I am all the things they might have said to you / Do you ever think of me and my two hands, and wonder why? / They never soothed your fevers / And wonder why / They never tied your shoes / And wonder why / They never held you gently And wonder why."

Picture 2: Two quotes from the Oresteia. The first one says, "1. Enter here knowing that she is already dead." The second one says, "Orestes: (highlighted) This was always going to happen. She's been dead since the beginning."

Picture 3: An excerpt from Planet of Love by Richard Siken. It says, "so smile for the camera, it's your big scene, / you know your lines. / I'm the director. I'm in a helicopter, / I have a megaphone and you play along. / because you want to die for love. / you always have. / Imagine this: / You're pulling the car over. Somebody's waiting. / You're going to die / in your best friend's arms. / And you play along because it's funny, because it's written down, / you've memorized it, it's all you know. / Isay the phrases that keep it all going, / and everybody plays along."

Picture 4: A quote from Jean Anouilh's Antigone. It says, "In a tragedy, nothing is in doubt and everyone's destiny is known. That makes for tranquillity. There is a sort of fellow-feeling among characters in a tragedy: he who kills is as innocent as he who gets killed: it's all a matter of what part you are playing. Tragedy is restful;…”

Picture 5: A headline that says, "Calf born with third eye on forehead--but still destined for slaughter."

Picture 6: A quote from the H of H Playbook by Anne Carson. In normal text, it says, "Brief pause. I'm walking backward into my own myth." In strikthrough, it says, "I was trying to walk out."

Picture 7: A excerpt from Anecdote of the Pig by Tory Adkisson. It says, "Do you still believe myths / can save you? Foolish creature. / Let me be clear: every version of the story / ends with you being slaughtered."

Picture 8: A post from @exigencelost. It says "She's dead she's immortal she's haunting you she doesn't care about you she's muzzled she's screaming at the top of her lungs she's unnoticed she's unforgettable she doesn't have control over the story she doesn't have control over her body she doesn't even have control over her voice. And I'm obsessed with her."

Picture 9: A quote from Things haunt by Joshua Jennifer Espinoza. It says, "Things haunt. / Things exist long after they are killed."

Picture 10: A black silhouette of a man's bust with red lines extending from a gunshot hole in the middle. This silhouette is layered on a red background, the same color as the lines extending from the center of the man's bust. In fragments, a quote from Richard Siken's "Wishbone". It says, "I'll be your / slaughterhouse / your killing floor / your morgue / and final resting."

End ID]

[thedawningofthehour]

Oh my god, thank god I'm not the only one haunted by that phrase!

Draxum's character in DOTH feels like watching a movie with a lot of potential make horrible decisions that Genuinely thinks will make it a cult classic. It's frustrating! But I guess that's the point.

Seeing more people look forward to Draxum's downfall makes me happy. I want to take away everything he loves from this man and suffer the rest of his life for it.

IT'S JUST WHY DOES IT HAVE TO TAKE SO LONG!!!

I suck at handling the slow burn, the fact that I've made it this far without going completely insane It's only thanks to the power of Angel posts, dance to pop/rock music while imagining fantasies of power about the turtles kicking Draxum ass trigger studio style.

I'm glad people actually enjoy the Angel posts. I usually feel like I'm bugging people by always bringing up my bird. :P

Also I kind of miss him right now. It's spring in his little birdy brain I guess so he's in major nest mode. All he wants to do is sit in the dark and nest and when he does come out he's ultra cranky. Idk where he thinks he's gonna get the eggs and he never did this when his mate was alive, but now as an old man he's decided he needs to prepare for babies.

[netherworldpost]

I hired a business consultant with a report delivery of Friday end of day.

Because they are an Actual Professional it came on time and was very thorough and complete.

Because I am a Cartoon Professional I changed my email password immediately after signing the contract so I wouldn't obsess.

Then watched Scooby-Doo for several days, obsessing anyway, until I could no longer take not knowing the results (Sunday morning at 4:17AM)

This covers a 10 year period

RED = MYTHOLOGY (Evil Supply Co. public shop before closing + private practice for mythology clients, which did not close)

BLUE = OTHER STUFF with red removed so I can see what percentage of income is mythology vs. not.

Got a bit of red on me.

In this chart you can see where I had my 2020 traffic accident and the subsequent rebuilding of my life and business practices.

Now let's talk about why I'm making this post. You can tell where I added artwork to this "hide private information" chart because it's bright pink.

I feel like following me on social media is a combination of mythology and benefiting from my investments in business + therapy. Consider this part of the value proposition in following oh stones I can't with the business talk.

atty (me, hi) = cartoon business person doing fun spooky things + occasional thing that is accidentally actually useful = public posting (desire for attention + lightly marketing)

Which is a quick commercial break for our sponsor (hi, it's me, I'm the sponsor on my own post)

netherworldpost.com has the mailing list when the public side of Netherworld Post opens later this year.

Greeting cards, postcards, stickers, zines, stories, rambles. All original art and writing about queer monsters, witches, ghosts, mermaids living in paradise.

Mental and physical therapy... are... continuing... and as they improve I can make stuff faster and get closer to launching

Thanks, back to rambling.

One of the things that has sat heavily in my brain since said traffic accident is a variety of soul haunting "what if?"s

This chart is to showcase the utter irrelevance of this line of thinking -- you cannot change the past -- in hopes of helping me and subsequently you to move on.

One of the biggest things I am trying to unbuckle from my brain is this idea that life is a linear experience with a finite number of resources and opportunities.

My brain has been ground into the position of "I must constantly hustle because every opportunity not maximized is lost forever and is thus one more step closer to irreversible failure. Going slow or stopping to rest = bad."

This is a coldly logical statement that sounds great when you're being punitive to yourself for choices made by you or others.

There is some small truth to it (your daily existence is comprised of 24 hours) but the fundamental and utterly overwhelmingly larger truth underlying is life is not comprised of a straight forward math formula.

Here is a zoom in + direct message summary

Bad thing happens.

Work harder for awhile.

Things resume on the previous path.

Worry over choosing the wrong path is extremely probably corrected over the long term.

Your "what if?" -- my "what if?" -- is irrelevant.

Not just because you cannot change the past. But because continued hard work averages out losses and "non-selected opportunities"

(don't you love that? "non-selected opportunities". This is a new phrase to me. Such a nice way of passing up "I didn't take the objectively better path for reasons.")

I hope you find it helpful!

I hope you sign up on netherworldpost.com which has an auto-merging feature if you've already signed, meaning if you're unsure, sign up again, you won't get duplicate emails in a few months when we launch!

Thank you, it's time for coffee, I have spent 5+ hours reading this damn thing and making this post

[findmeinthefallair]

Ok, I was told about this.

emerald-entrails-hunter,

I'm gonna show a total of four screenshots in this post, and I don't wanna force what people think of me or twist any narratives. You readers can decide 😔 It would be good though, if readers have a look at both her post and this one that I have written. Before deciding what kind of person I am.

After the first boundary you put up in September, I still sent you an absolutely insensitive ask shortly after you ended things on Discord, and I wrote a physical letter to send to you. In both, not only I did not give a proper apology, but I violated your boundary of "Do not contact me again". In no way am I justifying what I did but, I was desperate to try and get us to reconcile, even if it was executed so poorly. And re: the matter that even led up to the end of our friendship to begin with.....I was cowardly. I am so sorry for my hurtful behaviour in that situation too. For all this, I am truly sorry. 😔

And I know that people have varying opinions about vagueposting. But like, if people see my vagueposts, wasn't that a conscious choice they made to seek out my vagueposts, policing what I put up?

Look. Even putting up this post, is terrifying to me. But to quote you, I to a degree also need to stand up for myself here, or else I'm going to spiral badly just before a vacation that's in 5 days. I am not like your abuser. It has taken me many months to even begin loving myself again after what happened. 😔

There was absolutely no way that I was going to show up outside your door at all.

I am definitely not that person. I put in my vagueposts that any reminders of rural Japan would be triggering e.g. even imagining tatami flooring in my head would make me gag, so why would I spend a huge chunk of $ to even go there now, in the first place (far more so now, since I'm in remission for cancer)? That would make me feel sicker to my stomach than the set of multiple triggers I already had. One of my posts also speaks about me cancelling a hotel booking. Which means I was NOT going to go to Japan to find you.

Proof from my email inbox:

And I would have done this much earlier. But I got diagnosed with cancer.

So, I suspect that you and your group have deliberately not factored in info like that in your callout. Because you really want to push a certain narrative here. If you have been monitoring me, you would have seen that info. But you do not appear to have incorporated said info into how you are viewing this whole thing.

This group has assumed that my motive was about inserting messages and about reaching out to connect, when instead I was just processing my feelings. Is there not a difference between those? I feel that this group has created their own definitions for things.

This group has actively chosen to peek at a blog they don't want to follow (mine), like hate-watching something to feel righteous, and then got ticked off - idk about internet culture differences, but you could have chosen not to look? Esp after I said I cancelled my hotel booking? AND even when I did not speak ill of you at all in my posts, it still wasn't good enough for your group's set of rules. This feels like any phrase I type is going to be seen by them as "*hisssssss* she broke our rules!!", so I have a very bad feeling about continuing.

Whether you believe me or not, I already felt so so awful and guilty upon sending off the letter. And, seeing your art in my suggestions sidebars was not something I sought out. I didn't want to see your art. But the previews of your art still made their way past Tumblr's blocking and filtering system, and they would trigger me. This means I would definitely, absolutely, never want to show up begging you for anything, or write you anymore letters, after the wrongdoings from last year that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I would not dare to at all, because the guilt is still eating into me every day 😔😔😔

How ashamed do you think I feel now, now that I have learnt that what I did caused you to move apartments? And I do not want to say this in any manipulative manner at all. I say it from a place of utter sadness and shame.

And importantly, you sent me these from a new sideblog you created, back in February when you heard about my cancer:

In your callout post, you say there was absolutely no misunderstanding that went down between us. But in your February ask, you said "a grand misunderstanding".

If you've changed your mind, then ok, it's perfectly valid. But it really sounds like two completely different people who sent me this long ask in Feb, versus the callout post from 12 or so hours ago.

You said, "You don't care about how you've made me feel". But if I carry this much guilt, every single day, doesn't that mean that I care about how I have made you feel?

Or, are you wanting me to care about how you feel, in a very very specific way? I'm not you, and at this point I really don't think I can be.

You saying "this happened last flipping September" and "we only knew each other for 2-3 months tops"...means you have given my grief a timeline and deadline. I will really, really have to disagree about this. You may not understand it, but this is one area that I definitely can't change my mind about.

Grief is as unique as fingerprints are, and my grief has stretched on for 9.5 months now because the 2-3 good months we had? They mattered. They. Mattered. That. Much. To. Me. Those short months were real. It's not that I was scheming with some long-term plan, to be power-hungry or hungry for control in the friendship.

I still loved you all this time and mourned deeply, though now that you've put up that post, I'm really not so sure anymore.

You have every right to feel frustrated that I'm still mourning after almost 10 months. But if you are trying to say here that I must grieve in a way that you want, I'm very sorry but I really can't. Reading your callout post, I also do not feel like you have acknowledged the heavy guilt I have been carrying, which I am not lying about. I am acknowledging your pain, even if you cannot trust that I am, but don't see that you have acknowledged mine in the callout post.

Why couldn't you use a more balanced statement e.g. "I understand you are guilty, but your vagueposting makes me extremely paranoid and uncomfortable"?

Instead, you are saying "You don't care about how you've made me feel".

I am very very sorry, and could not be more sorry, for all the hurt I have caused you. This is the theme of the ask that I wanted to send to you this coming Monday, to that same sideblog of yours. But I won't send it anymore because you don't want that. You acknowledged in the February ask you sent, that you hurt me as well. But I fully acknowledge that I was the one started it: this is true.

In your callout post, you said "now you're trying to [break my trust] again soon?" Well, in your February ask to me, you said I could rehash what happened in September with you if I wanted. And I was prepping to do that this coming Monday, though I won't anymore.

I feel that your callout is presumptuous, filtered through your lens without checking with me first. Though at the same time: I fully understand why you wouldn't want to trust anymore, even if I'm telling the truth. I acknowledge this fully.

You have pointed out via DM that you are prone to all-or-nothing thinking and you KNOW it can be unhealthy:

And I believe this is what was in play again here, with what has happened.

I'm just. I am really, truly sorry. 😔😔😔 Now I feel that I'm gonna have to 100% block from my side as well, so that I don't start having serious symptoms, because the ring of "You have no right to X/Y/Z" in your callout post, and how you're implying to me how to navigate my grief...this has changed the impression I now have of you too, after almost 10 months 😔 So, this is goodbye.

I am truly sorry. I don't want to hide anything on here

-------------

Here's my conclusion:

- They filled in a massive gap with what they think my motives were, to push a particular narrative to suit a specific agenda, to make them feel a certain way that they wanted.

- E.g. being rather sure that I was gonna spend a huge chunk of $ to go and fly somewhere and, still talk to a person that I fell out with? That would be a really huge waste of $, time and sanity. But hey, they already spun a story to put out there.

- They also left this out on purpose: I spoke about the nausea I'd feel when I images of tatami flooring and anything Japan would appear in my mind. So...imagine how unpleasant it would be for me to even look at the real scenery and locations. So why would I take a huge chunk of $ out of my savings, to go somewhere and make myself feel worse than I already have felt about the imagery in my head whenever it pops up in my head? - The ask sent to me in Feb allowed me to rehash the fallout again. And when I wanna do the rehashing, I then get slammed for it. Uh? I could not read your mind that you had changed your decision: the change in decision was NOT communicated to me in private first. Then waywardsunlight, her friend and attack dog, shrieks at me asking why I put up screenshots of the February ask. If she put my username out publicly, and then demands that I don't put up that ask (which acts as proof) publicly.....what does this therefore imply? That this group doesn't want me putting out context that they wanna make sure they leave out? Feels like a double standard to me.

- Importantly, she has conveniently said "Well, how was I supposed to know all that?!?!" only AFTER she put out this story that she wanted to tell.

I am repulsed. Thank god

[ko-odi]

I'm the guy who submitted the anon ask before (where u drew me a pic of Drake, thank u so much I will cherish it for the rest of my life!!!) and I'm in need of some Haunted headcanon inspo for a dnd game I'm trying to run soon!! Tell me some of ur headcanons, no matter how obscure, small, or seemingly insignificant

SRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGG i. forgort BUT HERE R A FEW !!! :D some of these are my own and some of these are me parroting things ive heard from the haunted discord that i love (u should totally join the discord btw its fun i can give an inv to anyone not already there if anyone wants one!!)

-Drakes issues regarding tone and reading the room, such as 1) his default mode of speaking being thru sarcasm (no hes really not always trying to be rude, thats just how he communicates 😭), and 2) cracking jokes or quips at inappropriate times (like when graysons house was burning down and drake was all like “wow grayson sure does love his secret hatches lawl” and “he should really rethink his escape routes for next time haha!” like drake this is NOT THE TIME). Im not saying hes NOT sassy or rude (because he totally is <3) but like. its not ALWAYS ON PURPOSE OK LMAO he is autistic 🫶

-somewhat related to this is that i hc that he says cheesy lines like “erm… hes RIGHT behind me isnt he” and “um guys, you MIGHT wanna take a look at this…” all the time, and he does so bcs he repeats phrases hes read in books (or from movies/shows he saw before traveling to the future or whatever) a lot. either that or he just Says That Stuff which is almost funnier

-drakes sleeping schedule SUCKS dude and a big parta that is cuz enderman are nocturnal and his internal clock is all messed up. (the water up on his mountain canonically helps him sleep tho im pretty sure?)

-his bodys kinda awkward to move around in, and hes always tripping over his feet or bumping into stuff (hes just like me fr….)

-this ones odd, but the subspecies of enderman that drake is fused(??) with have rings all over their body that they use to light up dark areas (such as caves), and to communicate (blinking lights like fireflies, bright flashes to intimidate others, are dim when sick, etc). Theyre able to control this using their natural magic or whatever. HOWEVERRR drake is unable to control his himself! His rings are stuck at a set brightness, and he cant “turn them off”, leading him to always be expelling a small but steady amount of magic. This is part of why he runs out of mana faster than other magic users/enderman, and is part of why he tries not to waste his mana when possible.

-related to above, hes not ab magic doesnt last very long, but is very volatile and powerful in bursts. this is the OTHER reason he doesnt use magic willy nilly .. he has to learn how to harness it properly or else he might end up hurting people by accident (this might literally be canon but i thought id mention it anyway)

-in the haunting one, hes always stating things abt himself that we never actually get to see (like when he calls himself the builder, or good at parkour, or when armen said that he had a problem with breaking windows???? 😭) so i like to think that those are just collins memories slipping thru the cracks, and those memories dont rly belong to/are about drake at all. theres probably other shared fuzzy memories he has from collin too (like ruby shire perhaps) so thats super fun to play with!! I think this might actually be also canon but yk

-ARMEN iiii love this guy ok so i love to hc that, after hes revived/saved (IF you want to go that route!), he comes back not dead, but not quite alive either…. hes like sorta half and half to me lol. or maybe hes alive, but coming back to life has some side effects (like being cold all the time for example). Hes also suuuper sleepy all the time after hes saved LET HIM SNOOZE dude.

as much as it pains me, I also love the hc that armen comes back with his memory wiped (i think this is close to where the intended canon was supposed to head as well!). You can either go the “his memory is totally wiped, which effectively makes him a new person” route, the “his memory is wiped back to the fall into the lava, right before HB possessed him” route, or the “his memory gets wiped to before HB was involved in his life whatsoever” route. I like all 3 options aaaah idk what my favorite is!!! i’ll probably talk in depth abt these in a different post later bcs the fact that it adds more parallels between him and collin/drake makes me insane. either way he will sometimes have unexplainable deja-vu and things will feel familiar to him.

-armen is super cold all the time (always wearing sweaters and stuff) while drake is super warm all the time (always wearing thin clothes. but this is cuz hes always expelling some sorta magical energy involuntarily, so when he runs outta mana he gets cold as well) this isnt important or anything i just like it :3c

-i like to think that despite his affinity towards it before the fall, he tries to avoid combat & conflict when possible post-possession/revival. very “uhh im a lover not a fighter haha ..” (<- could kick your butt if he tried) vibes. or maybe he lost all combat ability post revival and totally sucks now !! either way man just wants to chill (he is traumatized)

-MIA shes lowkey scared of being on the water after her and her sisters shipwreck, the day she was captured by the empire. she probably slips back into familiarity when they take over that airship one time tho- maybe she gets an airship of her own in the future o:? haunted group sky pirate crew when 🤨???

-along with magic, she also GETS INTO ALCHEMY/CHEMISTRY !!! its like.. magic ??? without needing to provide any ACTUAL magical power yourself?? thats so fucking sick ok. She and drake do magicy-sciencey experiments together and they end up blowing stuff up a lot. despite what drake says, they BOTH enjoy the chaos.

-mia and armen would be BEST. FRIENDS. i think abt mia armen friendship literally all the time they would be so chaotic and thoughtful with each other i love mia armen friendship sm. maybe mia helps style his hair like hers since its grown out later :] They are so sibling core to me

-related to both yhings above, she shares her love of learning with armen. They learn tons of random stuff together :D chemistry archeology history magic biology etc. Mia loves learning anything she can get her hands on, and armen feels the need to learn everything he missed while he was gone.

(sidenote: if he comes back with completely wiped memory, him learning all different sorts of subjects is him trying to figure out what he enjoys, and who he is as a person. “building himself up from ground zero”. and mias glad to help ): <3)

-MIA AND GRAYSON ARE ALSO SIBLING CORE !!!!!!!!!! you are NOT immune to the “mia is everyones sister” propaganda …. im mind controlling you ….

-grayson my GUY dude ok. not rly a hc and more of an observation but i loooove how hes so serious and pessimistic all the time but hes also like…. friendly (yet distrusting) and silly (devouring and entire cake and being all like “:D” with a flower crown and slimey friend) like idk i just looav that contrast its yummy. cruel world forcing his joyous whimsey into hiding </3

-finds a sickening comfort in loneliness, while also being deeply afraid of it. no it is not healthy. i might have to describe this later, as ive not found the words to do so yet.!!! maybe others can add onto this if they wish :)))

-His wife was fucking awesome ok. She was totally anti-empire and wrote many pamphlets that hurt the emperor & his followers image under an anonymous name that spread around the public like wildfire. Did she initially start dating grayson to get more info on the empire without his knowledge? Was she herself high up in the empires chain of command, helping get grayson the job in the first place? Did grayson know and help his wife with her endeavors(im leaning towards yes but no would be fun)? idk but she was awesome and they committed treason together and were in love

-idk if im totally down with the idea, but graysons wife and/or kid ending up being ALIVE…. MANNN THAT COULD BE SO GOOD. SO DRAMA INDUCING. GRRRR i wanna play with this later

-if i start talking abt drake and grayson friendship i will not shut up about it so ill keep it BREIF ….. they are ambiguously romantic/ALMOST queerplatonic to me. they dont care abt labeling what they are, partially bcs they CANT. they r life partners who hold hands and find comfort in the others consistency and the stability their friendship brings. grayson calls drake his “darling husband” for shits and giggles and drake glares at him (while very obviously smiling). OK WE’RE DONE ..

-none of them are allocishet sorryyyy (<- not actually sorry at all) i can list out my queer hcs later if anyone wishes smile :))

-collin, luke, and lalea are still cooking in my head .. i dont have that many hcs abt them qwq i suggest looking to APPLE @apple-rose301 FOR THESE GUYS (she said i could @ her for this) and for any character hcs and analysis stuff tbh, their thoughts are basically canon to me /pos . would also love to hear EVERYONES THOUGHTS AND ANALYSES AND HCS EVER !!!! so if anyone sees this … u should totally list out ur own thoughts :)))) PLEASR PLEASEPLEA

i also have more thoughts on each character analysis wise, specifically the contrasts and parallels they have with each other and themselves, but that might be putttt into a different postttt

OH also sry for being more drake focused i loav drake he is my favorite guy ever ever .!! I HOPE THESE FEW LITTLE THOUGHTS ARE ALRIGHT THO TYSM FOR ASKINNGGGG (ALSO IM GLAD U LIKED THE DRAWING TYY) AND ALSO ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABT THIS DND CAMPAIGN HELLO ???

[frankenawus]

I remember being 16 years old and reading this on tumblr thinking that the abusive man who raised me was going to be always present in me, unconscious. I remember feeling so angry at my luck, that it reflected like a death sentence on me. I could never get rid of that. It hurt to think that that violence was going to haunt me for the rest of my life, just because I was born within it. And that the only way I would have any kind of comfort, desire or love would be through her, it seemed that the only way to get away from her was just to limit myself to living and closing myself off. Because I was that violence, anger and cruelty. It was myself. There was no way to heal, it wasn't even possible but it was something inherent in me and I could never distinguish it when it touched me. I could never escape from her. But I could lock myself in me not to harm.

Nor did I find a way to reclaim that violence from the one who had given it to me, because they too had been raised with that man. How cruel and indifferent of me to claim from the older victim his pain assembled in me. It wasn't his fault but it wasn't also mine.

I heard on a continuous loop the phrase "victim becomes abuser" and knew that my destiny was written in permanent ink.

I saw it represented in my friends and sister how they looked for that man in other men or how even her fury was unleashed in them and their mothers told them that every day they looked more like their fathers and how painful it was.

But you know what? We take away that pain. We choose. We go to therapy. We heal for our daughters and sons, and also for ourselfs. We recover. We keep fighting. We are not our parents, we are not that violent man, we did not become abusers or reflect on the victims. It is possible to break the circle and not repeat it, no matter how difficult it is. But I still don't know how but I'm not going to let him beat me.

I am not gonna let the violent man to come to my house. He isn't invite it.

[lonleymp3girl]

“The body keeps score.”

It’s a phrase I've heard in passing over the years. It's a metaphor about trauma and how even if you do not emotionally feel it, your body does. Trauma can present itself in sickness. It can present itself in small ways that are annoying or just simply inconvenient for you. You don’t understand why your friend touching your back makes you so incredibly uncomfortable, but it does, and you’ll go home and scrub your body raw. Minor mishaps will completely ruin your day, and you don’t want to be like this, but how can you fix something you don’t even see?

I know my trauma. I remember it clearly. My body doesn't need to keep score because I do. I can meticulously trace an unwarranted reaction to the emotional abuse I endured as a child. I can follow the shivers and disgust to being raped. Sometimes I wonder if this has done me more harm then good. Maybe I would’ve been better off never remembering and simply being confused for the rest of my life.

I’ll envy those with large chunks of memory missing, I remember and it haunts my dreams. I become a shell only made to imprison rotten parts of the world. Even with my memory, my body keeps score. I become physically sick when I’m too emotional. A reaction that only presented in high school after I was being abused by a significant other. I’ll break out into hives and my spine wants to break into two. More often than not, my body knows I was wronged before I do.

It’ll send me a stomach ache and then shivers and then hives and so on and so on. I’ve learned to maneuver life knowing that my mind and body were in debt. They had a price to pay for a crime I did not commit.

But my body has failed. It’ll whine and cry over instances that I’d rather forget. But it’ll punish me with abyss when I want to remember. My body will remember violation but it can’t remember my creation. It’ll scream at me when I feel whispers of his hands but when I beg and pled for something of my mother it is silent.

The body keeps score only of destruction but it cannot bear the sight of knowing at some point I was loved. Someone had loved me. Someone had cared.

The body has kept score but god why couldn’t it remember her.

[waheelawhisperer]

OK, context-warped fic occurrences guessing game, here goes nuthin': Ruby eating Blake buns; accidental love triangle; odd Schnee romance notions; Winter doing Bad Stuff; Adam masculinity crisis; RWBY reading time; middle-aged dude fistfight; Ruby winning a duel; and of course Weiss tragically biting a guy.

Ruby Eats Blake's Buns - full credit - Ruby steals Blake's lunch because she's a little gremlin, but I deliberately phrased it so as to make it sound like Ruby's eating Blake for lunch instead.

I Accidentally Create A Love Triangle And Just Kind Of Run With It - no credit - I didn't actually misrepresent the context in any way here. I was writing a fight scene and chose a series of words that flowed naturally at the time and then the realization that Character A was in love with Character B (and I don't mean crushing, I mean the type of full-blown I-would-die-for-you romantic love that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with someone) hit me harder than a hundred-car coal train out of Wyoming's Powder River Basin. This was a completely unintentional development and I actually had different romantic endgames for both characters involved, but I'm not going to scrap it because it feels right (not necessarily as an endgame, but right for the place Character A is in at the moment). I'm not sure precisely how I'm going to handle it going forward, but it's going to recontextualize a lot of planned interactions in upcoming story arcs and there is going to be so much pining.

Weiss Has Strange Ideas About Romance - full credit - I phrased this to make it sound funny, but it's very true in context. To elaborate, Weiss thinks her sister needs a boyfriend, but the way she envisions the interactions between Winter and her potential beau is heavily informed by her distinctly fucked-up upbringing as part of the Schnee family.

Winter Schnee Does A Very Bad Thing - half credit, I think - I deliberately misconstrued the context here, but it wasn't to be funny, it was to obfuscate the fact that in a moment of extremely justifiable anger and betrayal, Winter Schnee does something she really shouldn't and makes a mistake that has long-term consequences on both the narrative and other characters and also has a lasting effect on her own psyche. As of the latest moment in the current outline, she considers this action her greatest failure and a deep source of shame that continually haunts her.

Adam Taurus's Masculinity Is Questioned - half-credit - this is actually serious and in fact a very polite way of phrasing it, I did not make any particular attempt to spin this, but you get points anyway because I think mocking Adam is funny. Anyway, his opponents repeatedly target his masculinity, which is fundamentally tied into his ability to project power and control, in order to goad him into making mistakes and undermine his influence over his partisans in the White Fang.

Team RWBY Read Together - no credit - this is just a straight-up description of events that happen in the story. I wanted to both expand the universe's lore and give Team RWBY the chance to interact in a relatively low-stakes environment that allows me to focus on cute character interactions. I was trying to portray the bond that the show likes to insist the main characters have and never took enough time to explore during the Beacon Arc so that it felt natural later. I also wanted to try writing in a different style than usual, and this gave me the chance to do that.

Two Middle-Aged Men Get In A Fistfight (And Have To Be Broken Up By An Adult Half Their Age) - full credit - I deliberately presented this as a humorous event, but what actually happens is that Qrow tries to put my OC's father in a rear naked choke because my OC's dad is a jackass whose personality Qrow believes would be significantly improved by fatal oxygen deprivation.

Ruby Defeats A Human Opponent In A Duel - half credit - This is a fully faithful representation of what happens in the story, but the summary is also poking fun at Ruby's general poor performance against human opponents. Fortunately for her, she manages to win a spar against another student despite one of the teachers observing the match deliberately trying to screw her over.

Weiss Bites A Man (Tragic) - full credit - The title makes this sound like a comedic event, but Weiss unleashing her inner crocodile is played entirely straight in the context of a life-or-death fight and is emblematic of desperation and hopeless defiance more so than low-stakes comedy.

You didn't get them all, but good job overall!

[danpuff-ao3]

Rules: List five things you never get tired of writing; it can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. Then tag five people!

Thanks for the tag @writcraft! Goodness knows I jump on a good opportunity to talk about what I love!

1.) SNARRY. I can, and will, write these two idiots forever. They are soulmates, and they are my soul ship. OTP for life. Their stories never get old. I'll read and write them in any life, any scenario, in any way I can get them. I've loved them most of my life, and I always will. Other fandoms (Supernatural, Marvel), other ships (Destiel, Stony) come and go, but Snarry is forever.

2.) Flawed characters. As in: I am going to lean into those flaws. (For more in depth (and PASSIONATE) discussion, check out Flaws in Fiction: Character Edition & Flaws in Fiction: Appearance Edition.) I love people. I love fictional characters. I love people for the good and for the bad. And the best way I can love people is to see and accept the flaws alongside the rest. There is humanity there; an uncomfortable realness that I find endlessly fascinating. What makes you tick? What makes you fall? Where are all of your dark corners? All of the dirt and grit in your soul? I love exploring that in fiction.

3.) Flowery/poetic physical descriptors. I know it makes some people cringe, but I do not care. I am here for the self-indulgence. Cringe away, I'm going to continue to wax poetic about Harry's emerald/leaf/absinthe/arsenic/snake-scale/Killing Curse green eyes and I can't be stopped. It pleases my soul. Genuinely, it brings me so much joy.

4.) Angst. I live and die by angst. Give me the inner turmoil. The shame. The confusion. Give me the heartbreak and the struggle. Give me guilt. Give me unbearable longing. Give me heights of passion and the lows of loss. I'm a lady with many feelings (and boatloads of trauma) and for me personally, portraying the many layers of human experience, human emotion, and complex relationships is so cathartic for me.

5.) Weird & taboo topics. C'mon. I'm here to have fun. I'm here to learn and explore new ideas and experiences. To think about things and people in new ways. Call it strange. Side eye me if you must. You can think I'm problematic, that's fine. It's all fiction. My fictional interests have no bearing on my morals, I swear. I’ve written plant porn and weird foursomes. Psuedo incest and full out incest. Underage, power imbalances. Kinks aplenty. Dead dove. Whatever appeals to me, whatever haunts my dreams, that’s what I’ll write, whether people like it or not. After all…you don’t have to read it. 😉 But if you wanna ride straight to Hell with me…ALL ABOARD. 🚂

Tagging: @liladiurne @perverse-idyll @necromanticnoir @silvereye5 @bluesundaycake (but no pressure!)