#this post was not sponsored by betterhelp

[boypussytuesdaysattacobell]

head from a adhd ridden faggot with an oral fixation

[beecampbell]

youtuber sponsors are fucking 2 minutes long now shUT UP ABOUT NEW AGE ONLINE BANKING AND FUCKING SCENTBIRD I'M AT MY LIMIIIIIIT

[thinkingnot]

i need to know how and why betterhelp ads have been following me from instagram to youtube like damn gurl what gave it away 😭

[bitechnoblade]

:////

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

SOLD TO CHUCKLE SANDWICH??? 😱😱😱

🩸🐑🩸 Please go away Tucker 🩸🐑🩸

Heads up: I tried to write how I used to in middle school. It’s certainly a fic. Cw for cringe an the use of “…” an ungodly amount of times

It’s an early Monday morning, I wake up, toss my silky blonde hair into a messy bun, and change into something for school. It’s my first day as a senior…again. I need to wear something that I can blend into the crowd so nobody notices me but I also don’t want to be too basic…

After digging through my closet for a while settle on something. It’s simple, black shoes, black skinny jeans, my trusty gray beanie, my glasses (of course), and my definitely authentic chuckle sandwich t-shirt:

Honestly I think this is a perfect outfit for what’s hopefully my last first day of school.

I check the clock, 7:18, I should get going if I don’t want miss my bus… I grab my backpack and start to walk out but as I pass by the kitchen, I see something…

My mom was talking to three men, all their backs were facing me so I couldn’t tell who they were but their voices sounded… familiar. One of the men turns around as I try to get a better look at them and my jaw drops as his brownish orbs meet my blue ones.

“T-Ted Nivison? Wha- what are you doing in my apartment??”

Ted smiles, “You must be Y/n, your mother was telling us all about you.” The other two men turn around and they are… SCHLATT AND TUCKER??? I nearly drop my backpack, why was Chuckle Sandwich at MY APARTMENT?!

“That doesn’t answer my question… Why are y-you all here?”

“These guys are buying you,” my mother answers after she takes a long sip of her black coffee.

…

…

…

“WHAT?!”

My face goes pale and my eyes widen. She’s selling me? What? How is that even legal?!

“These guys wanted to buy you,” she’s saying this way too nonchalantly, “and I needed money.”

I sink to the floor. My head is spinning. Is this real? No- it can’t be. I’m going to wake up any second now! This is all a silly dream I can post about on my blog and get 12 notes on. I just need to wake up now… wake up… Wake up… WAKE UP!!

“Uhh…Y/n...?” I open my eyes again and look up at Schlatt who seem slightly uncomfortable, “I know that this is a lot to take in right now… but you need to go grab your stuff so we can go now..”

“G-go where…?”

“The Chuckle House.” Schlatt doesn’t elaborate further.

“The Chuckle what?”

“The Chuckle House, it’s where we’re all going to live :)” Tucker says, “We’ll explain more on the way there”

“Wait I’m leaving right now? What about school??”

“School can wait,” Ted quips in, “but I need to return the u-haul by 2:30 so we should get going..”

I look out through the kitchen window, a moving van was parked outside next to a really nice car I’ve never seen before, the rental’s back was opened, and by the looks of it there was just enough space for a couple bags of my stuff.. today can’t be real… “M-mom… is this real?”

“I’m sorry, Y/n…” She almost looks guilty for once, “but I mean it could be worse, I didn’t have to sell you to your favorite YouTubers. I could’ve sold you to Mr.Beast’s coal mines or Wilbur Soot”

I guess she’s right? But it’s still kinda messed up. Knowing Mom, she’s dead set on this whole thing and I was planning on moving out once I graduated anyways… I might as well try to make the most of this. “Alright…” I sigh, “I’ll go grab my stuff…”

I go back to my room and shut the door… this is actually happening… wow… I don’t know how to feel right now… if only I used code word “CHUCKLE” on betterhelp to get my first online therapy session free back when they were sponsored by them…

I rummaged through my closet and pack all my clothes, well at least all the ones I can fit into my old gym bag… I grab a tote bag and stuff the other essentials: my sketch book, copic markers, toothbrush, charger, and whatever cash I had saved up.

With everything packed, I start to head back out to throw it all in the u-haul. Schlatt and Tucker are gone and I see Ted handing over a check to my mother. He looks over to me, “You all ready, Y/n?” I nod, it feels weird having the Ted Nivison say me name.

I wave bye to my mother and she closes the door as we leave. Ted takes my gym bag and backpack to put in the back of the truck as I sit in the passenger seat with my tote bag. I look back out to my old apartment building… I see my mother through the window, drinking her coffee, going along with her day as if this was normal… Mom…

…

…

“Y/n?”

“Huh?” I snap back into reality and suddenly we were out of the complex and in a McDonald’s drive thru, how did I not notice him driving?

“Do you want anything?”

“Oh uhhh…” I don’t really feel like eating now, “just an orange juice…please.”

“You sure?”

I nod.

“Alright then…” Ted starts asking for his order and I look out of the window again. Questions flood my head. What am I to these people? A servant? Property? Am I going to be allowed to finish school still? Was that the last time I see my mom? Do I even want to see her again…? Do I?

…

“You do that a lot?”

I snap out of it again, we’re already out of the drive thru. The orange juice was now in my hands, how did I not notice him passing it to me? “Huh? Do what?”

“You space out a lot,” Ted points out as he pulls out his McMuffin and hands me the brown paper bag, “There’s another one in there for you in case you get hungry…”

“Oh- uhh thanks…”

“No problem,” he says while taking a bite of the breakfast sandwich with one hand and steering with the other.

…

Uncomfortable silence fills the u-haul. The only noise we have is the sound of Ted’s quiet-ish chewing and my thoughts that I’m sure he could sense. This is unbearable. I need to stop the quiet somehow. “So… you mind if I ask a few questions?”

“Oh- yeah go ahead,” Ted sounds relieved I broke the silence.

“So what am I? Like company property or something?”

He cringes at my words, “I guess technically? I don’t really like the sound of that though… how about we just say you’re a uhh… permanent assistant maybe?”

“Okay then…” I nod, “was any of today legal?”

“Oh definitely not,” he pauses for a moment, “it’d be pretty cool of you to not report us to the police about this…”

“Yeah okay,” I don’t even think the police would believe me if I told them so there really isn’t a point of reporting him.

“Cool thanks…”

“No problem,” I take a sip of the orange juice, it’s lukewarm. “…so what’s the Chuckle House?”

“Oh right- we didn’t really explain it to you properly huh?”

“You really didn’t, no.”

He lets out a small uncomfortable laugh, “Well… Me, Schlatt, and Tucker bought a house in LA and we’re planning on making some irl content in there.”

“Wait- how’d you convince Schlatt to move out here? I thought he hates it out here.”

“He does- but not as much as he says he hates it on the podcast. Besides the potential ad revenue was too good for him to pass on.”

“Fair enough… so I’ll be able to keep going to school and work and stuff, right?”

“Oh? You’re mom didn’t tell us you already had a job.”

“Well I do- I drive those kiddie trains at [insert mall]”

“That sounds… cramped.”

“It is…”

“Well you can keep going to school but we might need you to help us shoot content so the job thing is in the air..”

“Wait you want me to help you guys film?”

“Yeah- that’s kinda why we bought you”

“Wha- but I’ve never held a camera in my life or done anything like that”

There’s a brief pause, “…you haven’t?”

“Nope.”

“Shit…we’ll figure something out…”

That’s all he has to say about this?!

…

Well I guess it is.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, but not as uncomfortable. I plug in my earphones to my phone and listen to my favorite artists, [insert favorite artist] as I watch the cars pass by us. It’s kinda nice…

It’s not long before we start to pull into a neighborhood that’s way nicer than anything I’ve been near. It’s like I’ve been transported straight into one of those home goods magazines. We’re finally here… the house is huge, I feel poor just looking at it… How did these guys afford a house like this in this economy? Schlatt probably paid for most of it.

Maybe I should try to see the positive in all this… Let’s ignore the implications of my my mother and these guys for now and try to enjoy the fact I’ll be living in a nice house with my favorite YouTubers. I mean I do have to unpack all of that stuff soon but for now I should just help Ted out with unloading the u-haul.

—-

An:

Hey thanks for reading this, it was certainly an experience writing it. Let me know if y’all want a part two to this mess it was fun to write. (Just to be very clear, this is not an xreader in the sense of romance but in the sense of y/n interacting with everyone.)

Comments/criticisms are welcomed :)

-S

[is-this-yuri]

im going to (remembers jokes about self harm are counterproductive to healing from trauma and promoting a stable and happy mood) kill myself

this post was sponsored by BetterHelp

[oliviawebsite]

you really do get famous in music by being as mid and bland as you possibly can be. but you have to pretend its novel. and aesthetic and coquette and vibes and crazy but still comfy and warmcore and sexy but also pure and wholesome but its also about mental health too wow and it has to have a part that people can dance to on tiktok you have to make a reference to a current event so people now you are withit everything you do has to be a response and if its not a response it needs to be seeking responses and blog posts and articles and interviews and thinkpieces you have to be nothing your answers are an amalglam of comments ur advisors read on instagram. coffee is so cunt and charcuterie is my life right now. ive been really into watching the sopranos lately.

my newest album is a bold step away from the old, this time its about how sometimes i cry if i burn my dinner and how pickle jars are just too hard to open sometimes. im just like you. youre just like me. we will never be each other and forever strive to become each other.

i worked out a deal that counts the sale of every lime lacroix 12 pack as an album sale to boost chart position. im hosting an instagram live where you can ask me about my favorite starbucks order sponsored by starbucks. my album has an interlude that gives you 20% off your first month of hellofresh. this single is brought to you by betterhelp

[lilac-hecox]

I'm not trying to point fingers but Anthony who has way bigger platform and double the followers as compared to other cast still not posting anything says a lot. I know he is a very empathetic person and I'm certain he is in support of the cause to behind the scenes but his channel is heavily sponsored by betterhelp and that is an extremely zionist company considering the founder was a part of IDF. For a few videos even smosh mouth and flashback were sponsored by it but it looks like smosh has gotten rid of that temporary(?) deal and are able to speak out without the fear of upsetting the sponsors. Anthony's channel on the other hand is still actively sponsored by the company. I'm not blaming him but I think it might have been a contract thing or something. I know them speaking out this late makes this all look disingenuous but I have this theory they were being held back to go all out. And for the creators for palestine thing they were probably in talks for a while, way before damien fucked up.

I honestly am disappointed to see Anthony didn't post about it. I had expected it after Ian had posted. What you said though about his show being funded by Betterhelp and the zionist ties within the company makes sense.

I do know there are a lot of people who talk about how crappy betterhelp is, and I think that conversation led to Smosh videos not taking sponsors of them, but I also wish Anthony would stop on his channel for a myriad of reasons.

I don't know if the situation with Damien propelled the fundraising or not but either way I want to clarify for people.

1. I do not hate Damien.

2. I'm still glad they are fundraising regardless of why because ultimately, and hopefully, it will help those that need it.

[yeastinfectionvale]

*video starts* I- sigh *video cuts*

*video starts again but I'm holding the camera* *let's go of camera* right. Let's start then.

There has been controversy surrounding me and I need to apologise.

*PR dog comes in and sits on my lap*

The Marc MLP cum jar joke was too much of a rent lowering joke. I understand the hurt and pain I have caused and am deeply apologetic. I have started to understand my feelings myself as I have just started therapy.

*video cuts to me sitting with a logo pillow* Talking about therapy! Today's video is sponsored by BetterHelp!

*video cuts back* I need to take time for myself. I will be posting an Enea/Casey fic soon.

*video cuts to credits and a betterhelp ad plays as I plug my merch*

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Maggie, listen (gently takes your hand) about the final chapter of 1968… (slowly puts a $10 bill on the table) can we maybe come to an agreement of sorts? (adds another $10 bill) we just need to take another shot at that assassination thing (pun intended). just an itty bitty gun with one bullet and a better aim this time (I admittedly don’t have many dollars… giving you €50 instead) it’s gonna be quick, Aemond won’t even feel a thing! just a lil treat for your readers, please? pretty please? nobody’s gonna know!

NAME YOUR PRICE, I AM BEGGING YOU, HE NEEDS TO F— DIE ALREADY

(as you can tell, reading the last 3 chapters in a row was not at all a bad idea and I am very mentally stable and completely unaffected right now, as we speak 💔🔪 I swear your fics should be sponsored by Better Help or smth. I am horrified, I am in distress, I am in SHAMBLES!!!)

also, I just saw that the emoji for 1968 is a funeral urn…?!

Maggie, you can’t give us two sad Aegon fics back to back! MAGGIE PLEASE

If I had a dollar (or a Euro) for every time a 1968 reader begged me to kill Aemond, I would have SOOO much money 😂😂😂 Who knows what the future holds! At least things can't get any worse in the finale, right? Right?? RIGHT??? 👀 BetterHelp sponsoring my fics is hilarious, let's see how you feel about that idea after you've seen the ending of this one... 😉

Oh, I almost forgot! The finale of 1968 will be posted a few days early, and by early I mean tomorrow 🥰

[thescreamcorner]

Healthcare and Insurance Information For the United States

These are compiled by yours truly. I understand firsthand how difficult and stressful finding good healthcare can be, so I'm putting this post together with as much information as I can sift through about signing up for health insurance and finding good, affordable providers. I hope it can help at least one person find what they need, so PLEASE reblog this and spread it around. For this post only, even if you're on my DNI, you can share this.

If any adjustments to format need to be made for accessibility, PLEASE comment or DM me so I can update it as quickly as possible. Information under the cut.

-Select your state on the map to see enrollment information, or scroll down below to find contact/sign up information for your state. Note, at least a few states have enrollment for SNAP (foodstamps) on the same site.

-Select your state on the map on THIS page to find specific information about if you're eligible for medicaid within your state, as well as ratings on the quality of care across the state, and other program documents.

-this blogsite provides more in-depth information about how to find an affordable therapist, including for those without insurance and need a sliding-scale fee rate. While they are sponsored by BetterHelp, which you should NOT use, their resources for finding in-person therapists seem to be credible.

-here's another page from that blog, a guide to how and when to negotiate prices with a therapist if they don't advertise or provide a sliding-scale.

-While it speaks specifically about primary care doctors, this article is a good reference when looking for new care team members, to help you determine when it's time to look for a different provider. This still applies well to both psychiatry and therapy.

-This post is a good guideline for how to ask a primary care doctor for a referral for therapy or psychiatry. Like BetterHelp, Talkiatry does not have good reviews and you should not use their services, but this specific page is helpful regardless.

-If you're having a mental health crisis, this subreddit page has an easy to read list of hotlines and websites to call or text, including ones outside of the US. This subreddit aims to provide peer support for those who are suicidal, but be aware that especially because of trolls, there will be highly triggering content if you go beyond this link.

-If you have not found benefit from hotlines, this subreddit provides peer support for general mental health struggles. I would have linked their hotline resources instead, but some are inaccurate and the format of their page is much less accessible to those with vision or attention difficulties.

Addendum: Ever since COVID, a majority of providers have expanded their practice to allow online visits through telehealth. If you have any difficulties leaving your home, be sure to ask any new or existing providers if they have remote options for visits.

[sunhowler]

i miss when internet horror channels on youtube posted about weird art projects they found. now every other video from these motherfuckers is like "DISTURBING VIDEO I FOUND: CCTV FOOTAGE OF A REAL PERSON EXPERIENCING THE WORST MOMENTS OF THEIR LIFE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE. TUNE IN NEXT TIME WHERE I SHOW YOU A HOMELESS BLACK MAN HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND DOXX HIM. sponsored by betterhelp ^__^"

[letsgethaunted]

Welcome to Episode 187: Kutchie's Key Lime Pie, A Quirky Internet Mystery! Around 2009, a flurry of bizarre, copy-pasta-esque comments began appearing across the internet in droves. These strange comments referenced and now-defunct restaurant named Kutchie's Cafe which allegedly sold the best key lime pie in the world, a pie capable of giving people "piegasms", baked by "Captain Kutchie" himself. For the next 8 years, this unknown person posted over 700 comments from over 30 different usernames before one day just disappearing...leaving the public with no explanation for their off behavior. This user wold later become known as the "Key Lime Pie" poster, or simply "KLP", and the mystery he or she left behind would be cemented in the Internet Mystery hall of fame as the internet rabbit hole known as "Kutchie's Key Lime Pie". So, who was the KLP poster? Was he posting in code for military spies? Was he a disgruntled ex-employee, Captain Kutchie himself, an SEO botscript gone rogue, a troll, or something else entirely? Join Aly and Nat with special guests Tyler and Charlie of Believing the Bizarre as they attempt to unravel a zany mystery that is sure to turn your brain to mush.

TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Intro and Personal Hauntings

00:11:00 - Miracle Brand Ad

00:13:00 - PART 1: INTERNET RABBIT HOLES

00:26:15 - Better Help Ad

00:28:00 - PART II: KUTCHIE'S KEY LIME PIE

00:48:45 - Blissy Ad

00:50:55 - PART II CONTINUES

01:09:20 - Fum Ad

01:11:52 - PART II CONTINUES

01:26:28 - INTERVIEW WITH JUDD, FORMER PATRON OF KUTCHIE'S

01:33:42 - PART III: THE THEORIES

01:58:00 - Closing Credits

TikTok referenced in Part I: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREG45Xm/

LISTEN TO BELIEVING THE BIZARRE!!!!

WEBSITE: https://believingthebizarre.com

SPOTIFY LINK

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED! Find out more about this week's sponsored below the cut.

Miracle Made: Go to https://TryMiracle.com/HAUNTED and use code "HAUNTED" to claim your FREE 3 PIECE TOWEL SET and save over 40% off!

Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp! Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/GETHAUNTED to get on your way to being your best, least haunted self.

BLISSY: Get better sleep now with Blissy and use code "LGHPOD" to get an additional 30% off at https://blissy.com/LGHPOD

FUM: Start the Good Habit at https://tryfum.com/HAUNTED to save 10% off the Journey Pack today.

[fadedlovemp3]

one of the links in that phone addiction post going around links to a betterhelp sponsored site L.O.L

[paspeurbitch]

this is a very niche complaint but i'm so fucking fed up with youtubers/etc. doing sponsorships with betterhelp like -

•they're idf sponsors (the official israel twitter page literally posted affiliate links? wtf)

•they were selling user data

•they had (and maybe still have) unlicensed therapists

like jfc i understand they want money but do they just not have morals?

[threebooksoneplot]

Episode 26 - "Not Sponsored by BetterHelp" (Show Notes)

listen along here

General content warning for this entire season: there will be discussion of suicide! It's a major theme/allusion/plot point in New Moon. There will also be dark humor about suicide.

[00:06:19] Stephenie Meyer's “the story behind the writing of New Moon” blog post

[00:08:51] A Reddit AMA from the person who read Forever Dawn, plus a recent article about the overturning of the law that requires 2 copies of a work to be deposited at the Library of Congress

[00:14:20] Listen to Episode 0 here!

[00:14:45] The BYU symposium Q&A where Stephenie Meyer discusses her "method-writing" Bella's grief by imagining she had lost a child (a fascinating read. There's other buckwild stuff in here)

[00:19:01] Listen to Episode 6 here!

[00:19:16] A video from last fall of the new Quileute tribal school!! Consider donating to the next phase of the Move to Higher Ground project if you're able

[00:24:19]

[00:25:02] The New Moon movie tie-in covers:

[00:25:07] Winni (our Episode 6 guest) having a Moment on a trip to 2nd & Charles with G

[00:26:10] The original (left) and horrid new (right) versions of the actual New Moon cover. Bonus: it's an Estella Rijnveld Tulip!

[00:26:15] Stephenie Meyer's New Moon FAQ discussing the tulip cover

[00:36:10] Vote for your favorite Euphoria and Something title variation in this poll (through 9/20/23!)

[00:37:50] Cousin Oskaar from Iceland

[00:40:58] G’s and Shannon’s “sad green plant” cover image ideas for Euphoria and Something

[00:41:06] Some “same tulip but green” cover image ideas

[00:41:36] Shannon’s "colorblind-filtered tulip" cover

[00:43:06] Some “head of cabbage” cover image ideas

[00:43:31] Some “overripe banana” cover image ideas

[00:44:05] Shannon's "little red vial of poison" cover image idea

[00:44:45] G’s “frosted autumn leaf/frozen branch” cover image ideas

[00:46:22] Shannon's "cows" quote comes from Nona the Ninth, the third book in one of hers and G's favorite series, the Locked Tomb books by Tamsyn Muir

[00:46:45] G is thinking of this Beau Swan moodboard/edit

[00:47:00] The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

[00:47:59] Vote in the Euphoria and Something epigraph poll (through 9/20/23)

[00:49:57] Manfred by Lord Byron (the phrase G is looking for is “closet drama” lol)

[00:50:36] Vote in the Dark Noon epigraph poll (through 9/20/23)

[00:54:22] Guest of the week Nicole is called!

[00:56:40] “Tumblarity”

[00:59:19] The Fanlore entry for Superwholock

[00:59:59] Nicole’s viral Lilo and Stitch/Destiel post

[01:05:16] Shannon (left) and G (right) on their cannibalism-themed girls’ trip

[01:05:42] One of Shannon’s many, many tiktoks asking Smeyer for the Cullens' birthdays (feat. G and Rae [Episode 12])

[1:06:39] Olivia Rodrigo's music video for "Vampire" vs this 2008 RPattz & KStew photoshoot by Jeff Riedel for Entertainment Weekly

[01:12:55] Shannon’s Euphoria and Something summary

What do you mean Beau became a vampire and Life and Death ended differently? No it didn’t. Right now he’s unfortunately able to relate to trash song Seventeen Forever by Metro Station, because he too is constantly trying to fuck this seventeen year old girl. Fuck you Trace Cyrus! Anyways, Not Like Other Boys Beau doesn’t want to be 18, doesn’t want a birthday party, and super doesn’t want to hear about how his vampire girlfriend, Edythe, wishes she could kill herself! Too bad, so sad Beau. Welcome to the start of book two, where we finally give you a REAL reason for being scared shitless of Jessamine, and all the foreshadowing in this chapter will surely come back to bite you in the ass; one thing you WISH one of these vampires would do already. Hold on tight, king, things are about to get Worse.

[01:23:34] Livejournal user @ twilight-sucks' rant on “liquid topaz eyes”

[01:28:51] With a birthday gift on my birthday

[01:29:36] Wanna watch Romeo + Juliet with us this weekend? Info (and Discord link) here!

[01:31:57] Wack vs tight as fuck

[01:33:10] Yzma

[01:33:35]

actually kind of slaps I would totally wear this

[01:35:31] Alice, probably

[01:50:05]

[02:02:21] Rabid Birthday Jasper as depicted in the first New Moon graphic novel by Young Kim

[02:02:45] Some Snickers commercials

[02:22:30] Our alternate cover contest is open through 10/09/23! Check out the details and how to enter here.

[02:23:27] That Euphoria and Something title poll once again

Welcome back to show notes, gang!! We'll be keeping up with this season's notes even as we work our way through posting the backlog of unfinished ones for last season.