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bloopitynoot · 1 year

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3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

#for the shadowgast shippers #shadowgast #shadowgast recs #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #cr m9 #mighty nein #critical role #honestly some of them I sobbed while explaining the premise to my partner because I have a lot of feelings #these are all worth the length

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celticbotanart · 5 months

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Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to some of your favorite mutuals 💌

I was tagged by @sideadde, thank you so much!! Sid tagged me on my personal blog but I'll just go ahead post this here since it's a music post - this blog has been pretty dead too as I mentioned on my previous post, so this is a good way of posting SOMETHING here, at least. SO, I dont have a favorite-FAVORITE playlist, so I'll just use this opportunity to activate my Brazilian music playlist - accurately named "Tropical Gothic" bc our music is very fun and lively but also a lot of them is more melancholic than y'all from outside might think kkkkkk

Let's do this!

Milton Nascimento - Peixinhos do Mar ("Little Fishes in the Sea")

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Starting strong! The song seems to be an adaptation from folk music and it shows - he says "Who taught me how to swim / It was, oh sailor, it was the little fishes in the sea", which is very whimsical. Then, it goes on and it also mentions how Portuguese came from overseas to Brazil, "bringing gunpowder, lead and bullets, we want to fight wars". You see what they did here, lol

2. Zé Ramalho ft Belchior - Garoto de Aluguel ("Rentboy")

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This one is a huge favorite of mine djkfhdjhgf It goes HARD on the tango, accordion and all, it's just SO good. Zé Ramalho and Belchior (and Milton from the previous track) are like... legends, they are incredibly important figures to the brazilian music history, especially Milton and Belchior, really. I highly recommend going for their stuff if you're interested in more MPB ("Brazilian Popular Music" in Eng)! The song itself, it's literally what it says on the tin lol. It's about this prostitute guy and how he goes on with his life. This one might or might not be in my OC Cassie's playlist kdjfhkdf

3. Nana Caymmi - Flor da Noite ("Night Flower")

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Jfc, this one. So atmospheric, and Nana's voice is very deep and smooth. And the fucking strings in this arrangement???? Iconic and gorgeous AF. It talks about someone reminiscing far into the night about past events, especially about a love that ended long ago. She keeps saying that if the person she loves meets someone else, than her former lover shouldn't talk to this new person about the past, and what's gone. It's such a beautiful song ahhh <3 3. Casa de Caba - Cílio ("Eyelash")

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Oh dang, it's another Brazilian Sea Shanty time! Or at least, that's how I see this one, with all the instruments they use and the vibes. He starts mentioning a bunch of imagery to tell us the character singing is tough and is here to fuck with people in ways they WILL dislike, lol, such as "I'm the eyelash falling in your eye, an eye that cannot see", "An ugly, poorly-made ceramic pot that never breaks"; at the same time he's also "the word that guides you, the caress that comforts you, the delivery food you order and always arrives quickly", haha. Then the chorus, he's pleading: "Janaína, Janaína, Mother of my February, take me back, to the seashore" - Janaína is another name for Iemanjá, or Yemoja, the mother of seas and deity of oceans in many afro-brazilian religions, who came from the Yoruba culture. He mentions February there in the lyrics because Iemanjá is celebrated here on Feb 2nd! :)

5. Margareth Menezes - Faraó ("Pharaoh")

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OH GOD YESSS! Probably the most creative track in here - the music genre is called "Axé" and very based on African / Afro-Brazilian instruments as you'll hear. Here, POWERHOUSE DIVA Margareth Menezes will fucking give you a fast course on literal Egyptian Mythology/History ("The ascension, not even Osiris knew how that happened /The order or submission of His Eye was transformed into true humanity"; "The Epic of Geb's Code, and Nut who gave birth to the stars"; "Osíris asked Isis in marriage / And the evil Seth, full of wrath, assassinated him"); then, she uses that as a way of saying we should look at our African roots in awe and joy, and how the black people is still fighting to this day for basic respect and equality, even originating from the land of legendary kings and queens and golden gods. It's SUCH a powerful song, and it's catchy af. Depending where you are, if you just scream "EU FALEI: FARAÓ!" (I said: Pharaoh!), people WILL answer to you with EEEEE, FARAÓ back lol that's how fucking iconic this one is and I love it so much

Hope you like the songs on this one! <3 Tagging @dravenxivuk @feykiller !

#music posts #brazilian music

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sidebaxolotl · 9 months

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I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.

And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.

Hey friend! To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao). For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact. Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time. What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:

"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2

The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be. And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!

#if u need to talk or send more asks im all ears!!#prayin for ya anon!#answers #side b ssa #side b

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historia-vitae-magistras · 1 year

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On Fire and Loss:

As we get a few months from the worst wildfires that swept through Canada this summer, I understand climate grief now.

The words of those untouched are repetitive. Do you miss it? At least no one was hurt. It could have been worse. Trees grow back. Fire is good for growth.

Yes. Sure.

But the thing about grief is not the loss of the past. Memory is dead and gone; we cannot bring it back. It does not pain me. But imagination does. Grief is our hopes gutting us on their light. That land will be as much a part of me as my mother tongue until the day I finally permit my death. It is intertwined into my DNA‌, personality, and view of the world. I‌ have not lost that. But the children I‌ will bear and raise with love that spites a world hostile to new life, they have lost that. Someone has deleted half the DNA I might have passed on. We of the Laurentian Valley will not have lived in 20 places in 3 generations, ever pushing the frontier west. My people cling to the rivers and the sea and always have for four hundred years and a hundred thousand before that. The salt, soil, trees, and tributaries— I‌ was one part of an ecosystem for half my life. And now it is gone. It is not a loss of scenery but the loss of life to come.

My roots are gone, but the loss of the continuity of my future rips my heart from me. My children will not come into this world and rest at my bare breast and watch spring hummingbirds on the unboiled maple filling the feeders. They will never learn to track objects by watching those birds flit from feeder to feeder hanging from the windows. My children will never learn the trick of tapping the same maple trees their ancestors had for centuries. They will never cling to those trees that I have as they run until they may faint. They will never sit in their great grandparent’s living room and watch the other beings with which they share the world pass through the property. They will never sit on a rug in front of the fire, putting together their puzzles and blocks, and look up to see deer, moose, or even the odd bear or wolf through the glass. They will never hear the scream of a bobcat. They will never be scooped up and playfully scolded for eating more blueberries than they put in their basket. They will never roll down those hills chased by cousins and siblings laughing so loud they scare the birds from the branches. They will never see this world through their ancestor's eyes. Not there, not on that land, not where they should have. If we are the universe looking upon itself, I have lost the ability to give both eyes and face.

It took centuries to grow that land, that home, this family. And only a summer to tear it all away. The only part of the world I‌ knew I’d be able to give them, even if only in visits, is gone and with it, any sense of safety I may have been able to pass on.

And by the time I have children, the world will likely have simmered and withered. They may not even imagine what I‌ can no longer give them. The significance of Canadian French’s profanity rings a bit strange for generations without religion. But it is as painful as death knowing that all the words in my mouth, waiting to teach the next generation, may now be the same. Because there is no longer our place amongst the pines to point out and repeat them as I‌ did, as all before me did.

Every bastard who denies extreme climate action has ripped the future from us, from beneath our feet. They have stolen an inheritance, our and our children's language, laughter, song, and joy. They are trying to rip from us the world that makes us human. I don't believe in any God, but I will believe in the devil's hell if it means every cunt responsible knows the cost of fire upon their body and soul for all eternity. The world as I knew it is gone, but so is the future I envisioned. I’ll take hope's blade and carve another, but it will be as bitter and foreign as exile.

#my writing #not hetalia #I had to get this out

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lilareviewsbooks · 1 year

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Books for Good Omens fans!

Are you emotionally scarred by the ending of season 2? Is the wait for season 3 going to be excruciating for you? Are you looking for something that’ll fill those voids? Look no further, Good Omens fan! I have some media for you to consume!

The Tea Dragon Series, starting with The Tea Dragon Society, by K. O’Neil

71 pages (first book)

Contains: tea magic!; a cute sapphic romance; queer rep all around :)

If you like Good Omens because of how fluffy it can be (though that season finale was not fluffy), I highly recommend this series! The Tea Dragon Society is a comic book trilogy following Greta, who is swept into the world of caring for tea dragons, tiny little creatures that grow tea leaves on their foreheads.

As is the case with Good Omens, this trilogy includes a lot of queer representation. It’s written by a non-binary author, K. O’Neil, who introduces us to queer characters of all identities. Also much like Good Omens, there is no discussion of homophobia or transphobia. There’s also a sapphic romance between Greta and her love interest, which is very sweet! This is perfect if you need a pick-me-up after season 2, and if the fluffier aspects of Good Omens are your favorites!

The Greenhollow Duology, starting with a Silver In The Wood, by Emily Tesh

112 pages (first book)

Contains: the fae!!; enchanted woods; middle-aged gay people!!

If what brings you joy in Good Omens is it’s middle-aged leads, I give you Silver in the Wood, and its companion Drowned Country. These two stories are quite episodic – much like Crowley and Aziraphale’s little adventures – and feature a pair of middle-aged men who fall in love against the backdrop of supernatural things afoot.

Apart from representing the older portion of the queer community, The Greenhollow Duology is also brilliantly written and very atmospheric. It will place you inside the cottage where most of the action happens, and you will be able to feel the magic in the air. Both of the books are novellas, and so are quite short reads you can enjoy whenever!

A Series of Unfortunate Events, starting with The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket

176 pages (first book)

Contains: adults that are incompetent; children that are very competent; quirky writing!

If your favorite aspect of Good Omens is its quirkiness, I give you: A Series of Unfortunate Events! This middle-grade series follows a trio of siblings as they are passed from distant relative to distant relative after their parents’ mysterious death, all the while being chased by the evil Count Olaf.

This series reminds me of Good Omens for its tongue-in-cheek humor. Mr. Snicket is a master at metatextual comedy, that is, making jokes about the text itself. I’ve always had a lot of fun reading his writing! A TV show adaptation of this series has been made, and it’s on Netflix, but I haven’t watched it all the way through and can’t speak to how good it is, but it’s worth a shot if you’re feeling like watching something! Though I have to warn you: no gay people here :(

A Master of Djinn, by P. Djeli Clark

438 pages

Contains: alternate history; a steampunk Cairo; muslim rep!!

A Master of Djinn is for those among you who want to see gay people save the world. I give you: gay people saving the world. This one follows Agent Fatma of the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities in an alternate, steampunk-y Cairo, where magic was brought to life by mage Al-Jahiz, many years ago. Fatma is faced with a mysterious murder and must join forces with her lover Siti to find out what happened – except it’s waaay more complicated than it seems…

I think this reminds me of Good Omens the most because there’s a very cool dynamic between Siti and Fatma. Much like Crowley and Aziraphale, they have opposing views on a lot of things, religion for instance, and must reconcile that with their love for one another. They’re also very much ride-or-die for each other, and go on many supernatural adventures together, just like our favorite couple in Good Omens! It also features elements of fantasy being woven into a “normal” world, in this case even affecting history as we know it, to build an alternate reality!

But, be warned: there is discussion of homophobia and sexism in this book!

This is part of larger universe, namely the Dead Djinn Universe, which includes two other novellas. You can read them in this order, or choose to start with A Master of Djinn. The novel is self-contained and will explain everything you need to know!

The Mimicking of Known Successes, by Malka Older

169 pages

Contains: a murder mystery; a second chance romance; humans living on one of Jupiter’s moons!

Another one for gay people who just like a nice couple they can follow around as they unravel some intrigue, and who were desperately infatuated with “detective Aziraphale”: The Mimicking of Known Successes is a Sherlock Holmes-like story following Pleiti and Mossa, a couple of ex-girlfriends whose paths cross again when Mossa begins investigating a mysterious murder. This one takes place on a human colony in one of Jupiter’s moons, but, apart from that, is not very hard sci-fi. There’s not really any science-y bits that I can remember. Mostly, it’s just a murder mystery, but set in space!

It’s perfect for Good Omens fans who love following a couple with a long history. Not to mention, it also has an almost grumpy/sunshine dynamic that kinda reminds me of Crowley and Aziraphale. And since I know most of us Good Omens fans were once deep in the Sherlock trenches, I thought I’d add this one to cure your heart’s many, many wounds (oh, Steven Moffatt… One day, one day you will pay…)

This is not currently part of a series, but a second novella, The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles, will be published in 2024.

That’s all I got, everyone! If you’d like some more books that, just like Good Omens, don’t delve into homophobia or transphobia, I have a whole list of books that fit the bill! :)

#good omens #good omens 2 #queer sff #sff books #fantasy books #sci fi books #queer books #book recommendations #book reviews #the mimicking of known successes #a master of djinn #the tea dragon society #the greenhollow duology #series of unfortunate events #lila's themed lists

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digitaldoeslmk · 1 year

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Hello! Lmk criticism curious anon back again!

Thank you for the in depth answer, it confirmed a lot of what I had guessed were the issues with it, but also brought up a couple points I hasn't fully considered. Your point about how in the west we tend to play with Roman/norse/etc gods freely was something I knew and was part of why I was confused why it seemed so frowned upon with Eastern religions, but I hadn't considered the fact that eastern religions tend to be sort of ignored anyways, so that same sort of dollhouse play would be seen as disrespectful.

I've been meaning to dive further into it, there's a lot there and it's all so interesting. But like you said, I definitely think I'm in the minority for wanting to look into it more. The fandom seems to take a combination of LMK and OSP's summaries as the only jttw media to look at and use, and refuse anything else (some of the stuff they do with ne'zha is exhausting), so I can definitely see where that combined with the much larger audience would make it hard to engage with.

The point about the much larger audience meaning more criticism just by more people is good as well. I've got rough anxiety and seeing so many people seem to rag on it was starting to make me feel bad for enjoying it when it felt like the consensus was starting to be 'anyone who actually knows jttw sees it as disrespectful' and I wanted to understand why that was - or even if it was entirely true in the first place.

But thank you again for the answer, it was helpful. Love your work by the way, both thr LMK and jttw ones. Your jttw wukong is such a shaped design, I love the colors and markings <3

You're more than welcome, anon! Glad I was able to clear things up for you <3

for what it's worth, i know a fair share of folks who adore JTTW and also enjoy LMK to some level, and quite a few who entered the more scholarly side of the fandom thanks to it!! you're not alone in wanting to learn more about the novels and the culture behind them thanks to LMK.

rest assured that you can enjoy LMK critically, doing so isn't the downfall of China or anything. we can always use more reasonable voices in the fandom, who can look at it critically without taking away from the good and genuinely entertaining things in it, and who can help invite more folks into some proper media literacy.

and i'm glad you enjoy my art!! <33 hoping to keep them coming, they bring me much joy and i'm happy sharing it makes people happy too :D

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smol-lydia · 2 years

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Lyds, I love your HC of Jewish Viktor. Could I entice you to write a little holiday one shot of either Viktor sharing a quiet sweet Hanukah night with his SO, or perhaps being invited to his SO’s family’s Hanukah and just being quietly overwhelmed with gratitude and joy to be sharing the holiday with a loving family?

My Irish Catholic agnostic ass is no where near qualified to write such a thing, but I’m longing to see both Viktor have a slice of holiday happiness and to see greater representation of the joy of the season in all customs and religions.🖤

YES. You have no idea how much joy it brought me to get this request in my inbox and anything for you bb. <3 <3

Shoutout to @uwuboowoo and @uniquedeerwitch and @zaunitearchives for helping me brainstorm the plot points for this oneshot in the server.

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"Kindling The Light": Viktor x Fem! Reader SFW Chanukah oneshot

(no y/n, some suggestive themes for later in the evening <.< use of Czech/Yiddish/Hebrew; there will be a note at the end with translation!)

The knock at the washroom door is soft, a quiet rap of knuckles against the worn wood, and yet you still startled a little, letting out the breath you hadn’t realized you had been holding.

You had been staring at your reflection in the mirror above the sink as though in a trance. Not out of some sense of vanity—more the opposite; you couldn’t help but wonder if you would measure up.

“Zajíček?” Viktor’s nickname for you—apparently the word meant bunny in his native tongue—normally brings a smile to your face and color to your cheeks.

Tonight, your nerves get the better of you.

“I’ll be right out,” you reply through the door.

“I was just making sure you’re all right,” he says, and though you can’t see him, you can imagine the wrinkle in his forehead as he knits together his thick, dark brows in worry.

That was Viktor at his essence: the gentle assistant to the Dean cared far more than he let on, and worried constantly over those he loved.

“I’m fine,” you say. “Promise.”

You won’t give him any reason to think otherwise, smoothing down your dress. It’s a black ruffled thing, tying at the waist with a sash, printed with small fuschia blooms. The finest thing you own; tying up your hair with a big fuschia bow. Sheer black thigh highs and black heels, your only formal heels you drug out of the back of your closet.

You open the door and based on Viktor’s expression, those thigh highs were definitely the right choice. His honeyed eyes widen taking you in, pupils darkening with desire as his gaze travels up your legs to the (admittedly) shorter hem of the dress, which hits mid thigh.

You glance down at the floor.

“Should I put on something else? I could—“

In a few steps, he is by your side, grabbing you by the waist with his free hand.

Viktor’s breath is warm against your neck. “Don’t you dare,” he whispers in your ear.

His hand on your waist burns through the fabric of the dress and you feel lightheaded as though you’ve had cups of wine already. And then his teeth catch your earlobe; your knees nearly give out in response.

“Vitya—“ Your voice has gone from thin with nerves to thin with need, yearning coiling in the pit of your belly.

“Yes, my dove?”

His hand has moved from your waist to tracing the line of your jaw down to your collarbone, teasing right above your bodice. His mouth has moved too, letting go of your earlobe to press the lightest of kisses against your exposed shoulder.

Viktor is an attentive lover, always has been from the moment your relationship changed from colleagues to….well, more. And somehow his attentions always make you feel as though he’s worshiping your body for the very first time.

“Our guests will be here any minute,” you remind him, loathe as you are to do so, your own head in the clouds as you want nothing more than to pull Viktor into the bedroom and finish what he’s started.

But it’s the first night of Chanukah, and his family is arriving to celebrate with the two of you.

“They can wait,” he growls in an undertone, and that voice goes straight to the aching need that's settled between your legs, leaving your lace underwear damp.

He kisses you hard then, your hands reaching up to knot themselves in his thick, messy dark hair, savoring the groan he lets out when you tug.

Lust drives you forward in moments like this but you feel like your heart will burst with the love you feel for Viktor, both now and every other moment the two of you are together.

Sometimes you can hardly believe that the inventor feels the same way about you—the foundling from Zaun who knows nearly nothing about your family of origin. A quintessential street kid who grew up into an untamed adult that somehow succeeded despite the odds.

You heard, in the foundling home, that one of your parents belonged to the same ethnic minority as Viktor did, but unlike Viktor you never grew up in the culture. You know nothing of the traditions or language. Your other parent was a native Zaunite, which is where you get your bright hair from.

Viktor never judges you for your lack of knowledge about the culture you both share; rather, he’s eager to help you learn, to experience all the things you never got growing up in the foundling home.

Hence why he volunteered to host the first night of the holiday at the small apartment the two of you share; his extended family making the trek Topside.

“Mílačku, držíš mi celé srdce.” His fevered kisses have left you both breathless, his forehead pressing against yours, hands tracing over the ruched fabric of the bodice of your dress. Your arch into the touch, unable to suppress the mewing sound that slips out.

The sound of the doorbell startles you both. You jump back as though you’ve been caught, cheeks burning.

It takes Viktor a moment to respond; he blinks slowly, waking from a dream, almost intoxicated on you.

“I’ll get the door,” he says quietly, and you nod, smoothing down your dress.

“Vitya!” A gaggle of dark haired, honey eyed cousins pile into the small apartment, all babbling in their native tongue and the language you speak here in Piltover. At the tail end of the pack is an older woman with silver hair braided down her back, dark eyes sharp with sarcasm and wit.

This, you knew, was Viktor’s Savta, the woman who raised him after the death of his parents. A knitted black shawl was wrapped around her shoulders, a patched grey apron hanging on her hips.

She carries a small crockery jar in her arms lovingly wrapped in an old scrap cloth. Viktor towers over her in height but as he bends down to give her a kiss on the cheek and take the jar from her, it’s clear she misses nothing.

“Put it on the counter, Vitya, it’s for the frying,” she says. “And you have hidden this beauty from us for so long! Ach! Useless boy. Never comes home to visit, doesn’t bring his girl home….”

Something stirs in your chest at being referred to as his girl—yes, you’re your own independent person; Viktor would never consider you anything but. Even so, there’s a part of you likes the sound of it.

“Hello,” you venture.

Much to your surprise, Savta pulls you in for a hug. “What a shayna maydel. Call me Savta.”

You don’t know what she’s said to you but it sounds like a compliment.

“Thank you,” you murmur. “Can I help in the kitchen.”

“Yes, yes.” Savta waves her hand. “You and Sonja will peel potatoes. Sonja!”

One of the dark-haired cousins, this one tall and thin like Viktor, who has been engaging him in some animated talk, leans in.

“What?”

“Come into the kitchen. You’re peeling potatoes for the latkes.”

“Aw, Savta, really?”

“You know this is part of the process, Sonja.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“You can annoy Vitya later.”

“Oh, I’m certain she will.” Viktor gives you one of his rare smiles and it has you glowing as brightly as the oil lamp in the window.

It turns out that Savta and Sonja make quick, light work of peeling the potatoes you bought at the market in Piltover the day before. You are not as adept with a knife—even when you were growing up in Zaun the blades made you nervous and shaky.

Still, neither of them comment on your shoddy potato peeling skills, and you’re thankful.

“So how did you and Vitya start dating?” Sonja asks you.

Her amber eyes are full of curiosity and you can’t really blame her. You remember being her age—sixteen—and caught up in romantic daydreams.

You sigh. “I started in the lab as an assistant, actually. Recommended by Professor Heimerdinger—I didn’t know it at the time but I had actually taken Viktor’s job as the Professor’s assistant after he had left the position. If you work on campus you get a tuition waiver, you see. And if you don’t have the benefit of a patron….”

“There aren’t many people from the Undercity at the Academy, are there?” Sonja tucked her dark hair behind her ears. “Vitya says he’ll pay for my education if I want to go. With the HexTech profits.”

You smile as you set aside a potato. “Do you want to?”

Sonja nods. “Very much. Anyway, keep going.”

“Well, I started at the lab. My specialty is ancient languages, so I was helping Jayce and Vik translate some of those runes.”

Your heartbeat picks up as you think of that first day in the lab, when you met Viktor. You had been drawn to him immediately but he was cold, distant.

“I actually thought he disliked me at first. It took me a few weeks to gather the courage to ask Jayce one day when we were working alone together if Viktor hated me. And he told me no, he just doesn’t socialize much.”

Sonja rolled her eyes. “Believe me, you would know if Vitya disliked you.”

“Eventually, he and I spent more late nights working together than Jayce and I ever did. And it turns out Jayce was absolutely correct. Viktor…well, you know how he is. Incredibly intelligent, very focused on what he’s doing. And I….” You feel the warmth rise in your body as you speak. “I kept my feelings to myself the entire time, convinced they were one sided.”

“But they weren’t?” Sonja puts the last potato on the bowl.

“Sonja, get an egg and the meal out.” Savta says, hands on her hips, and the teenager does as she’s told.

The older woman cracks the egg into a bowl, mixing it in with the shredded potatoes and the matzo meal to create a mixture. “See, my dear, now we get the schmaltz for the frying.” Savta points at the crockery jar she had brought with her and you hand it to her.

She scoops the schmaltz into a cast iron pan on the stove, watching it heat up.

“They weren’t,” you say to Sonja, continuing the story. “We were pulling an all nighter, Viktor and I. He had made coffee the way he always does, and we drank far too much of it. Kind of made me manic and at some point around 3 am we went from translating runes to….I don’t even know. Joking? And somehow the jokes got wilder and wilder and I can say it was the insanity of it all but I just—I felt something. Like the crackle in the air before an intense summer storm? I don’t know what came over me but I just leaned in and kissed him. I was starting to apologize and he told me…that it wasn’t necessary.”

Sonja took a handful of the potato mixture and flattened it between her palms, putting it into the frying pan with a plop!

“For the record, Vitya is a dork, but that’s a sweet story and I like you.”

You laugh. “Thanks, I think.”

The latkes fry quickly and smell like heaven; in no time the kitchen is crowded with cousins clambering for a taste, shooed out by Savta who tells them to wait until she’s done cooking.

“Set the table, Vitya,” she says when Viktor wanders in, tempted by the smell of the food.

Soon enough there’s a plate stacked high with the potato pancakes, you’ve run out of the mixture, and Savta has you scooping the applesauce and sour cream you bought at the Piltover market into small glass serving dishes.

At the table, food and wine flows freely, Savta intoning the bracha for both before everyone is served. Over the food and chatter, Viktor reaches over to squeeze your hand, or give you that sweet smile that has your heart turning over in your chest.

Your refill his wine glass more than once and the alcohol brings a pretty flush to his pale skin; his eyes glassy as he grows tipsy.

He leans in to whisper in your ear in a low tone.

“The things I am going to do when we are alone for the rest of the evening,” he murmurs, the scent of sweet wine hitting you strongly, the warmth of his breath against your ear sending a shiver down your body, heat coiling between your thighs.

The younger cousins have gathered on the floor by now, playing some sort of betting game that involves small candies and ginkgo nuts, a clay top spinning between them.

“Let’s light the candle!” Sonja jumps up once the dishes are cleared, turning her attention to the silver chanukkiah that Viktor had pulled out of a cupboard a few days previous. It had belonged to his parents, he had told you.

“Let Vitya do it, Sonja,” Savta says.

“Aw.” Sonja pouts.

“She can if she wants,” Viktor offers, and Sonja beams.

“Wait!” Sonja pauses. “Why don’t both of you do it together?”

You bite your lower lip. You don’t know anything about the ritual, and the shame threatens to choke you.

“I—I don’t know the words,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes.

“I’ll help you, Zajíček.” Viktor gives your hand a reassuring squeeze and you give him a tight smile.

“All right.”

“Repeat after me,” he says. “First we light the chamash, the lead candle. That candle will kindle the light for the first night’s candle.”

You nod, and Viktor strikes the match, lighting the chamash, and handing it to you to light the first candle in the chanukkiah.

“Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech haolam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Chanukah.”

The words are a struggle and you want the ground to open you up and swallow you, and yet, there’s a part of you that feels connected, your and Viktor’s reflection in the flickering of the candles, displayed prominently in the apartment windiw. Viktor presses a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“My love,” he whispers, quietly enough that only you can hear him and you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.

It’s later, after his family has gone home, that he gives you your gift. You had gotten him a soothing ointment for the aches and pains he gets in his joints and with the rough edges of his leg and spinal brace, the gratitude in his face evident.

You open the small box, genuinely with no idea what he’s gotten you. You gasp at what you see: a hammered silver necklace with a small HexTech blue crystal in the center. The silver has been shaped into a six pointed star, a shape that’s associated with Viktor’s people—yours too, you suppose, even if you struggle to claim your seat at that table.

“It’s beautiful,” you manage to choke out, completely overwhelmed. “Thank you.”

“May I?” He asks, and you nod.

He fastens the necklace on you, and presses kisses down your neck; you sigh in pleasure.

“Now, my love…” he pauses to leave a bruise of a love bite and you gasp. “I want you in bed, wearing nothing but that.”

“I think I can make that happen.” You take his hand, gently tugging him towards the bedroom.

----

Glossary/translation:

Mílačku, držíš mi celé srdce: you hold my whole heart

Savta= grandmother

schmaltz= chicken fat; kosher alternative for frying; common in eastern europe Jewish culture; honestly i'v had french fries fried in it and its bussin

Shayna maydel= pretty girl

Bracha= blessing; there are specific ones said for wine bread, other food, etc

Chanukkiah= so I think most non-Jews think this is called a menorah. but a menorah only has space for seven candles. a Chanukkiah has space for 8, plus the chamash, so technically nine.

The blessing Viktor and his S/O say over the candles: Blessed are you, Adonai our God, ruler of the Universe, who commends us to do the mitzvah of kindling the Chanukah light.

#viktor arcane #arcane viktor #arcane viktor x reader #viktor x reader fic #viktor x reader #viktor x you #viktor x y/n #viktor imagine #arcane fanfic #my fic writig #my fic

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witchoftheouachitas · 12 days

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Biblical Evidence of “divinely ordained” imperialism, settler colonialism, and indigenous genocide by the “God” YHWH

The UN Genocide Convention that was ratified in response to the Holocaust during WWII contains 5 “acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group.” These five acts include:

1. killing members of the group

2. causing them serious bodily or mental harm

3. imposing living conditions intended to destroy the group

4. preventing births

5. forcibly transferring children out of the group

The convention further criminalizes "complicity, attempt, or incitement/encouragement” of genocide.

Monotheistic, Abrahamic Yahwist Jews are NOT the indigenous inhabitants of the so-called “Holy Land.” These people and their ancestors are the violent colonizers and perpetrators of genocide and ecocide on indigenous western Levantine land, and there are many biblical scriptures that confirm this and even fit the criteria for the biblical Israelites to be criminally tried for genocide under the UN Convention.

The fact that millions of people worldwide have and still blindly follow the narcissistic abusive, toxic, malignant Abrahamic religions, despite the fact that it all contains this sort of indignity (and so much more) within it disgusts me, saddens me, confuses me, and enrages me. I have personally connected so many of our world’s problems and injustices with the creation and maintenance of Abrahamic religion and Abrahamic religious supremacy.

If we are to have universal peace, love, joy, compassion, and liberation, all toxic, malignant, narcissistic abusive religions, theologies, ideologies, etc. must be abolished for good! The top of these are the Abrahamic religions, because due to centuries of violent imperialism, colonization, genocide, and ecocide, these religions have the most brainwashed and/traumatized converted victims (AKA “followers”).

We all need to return to our pre-Abrahamic, indigenous “pagan” roots that we all have. And all those who may want to jump to conclusions and accuse me of being antisemitic or Islamophobic—let’s not be hasty and irrational. Jews need to remember that there was widespread “pagan” polytheistic Judaism before the creation and oppressive maintenance of the toxic and malignant monotheistic Yahwist Judaism. Yahwist Judaism is NOT the indigenous Jewish religion and the “Holy Land” supposedly set apart by their “God” YHWH is NOT the indigenous Jewish land either. And Muslims must remember that Islam is simply a 700s AD plagiarization of Christianity and Yahwist Judaism, and before the violent takeover of these religions, their indigenous ancestors practiced their respective native polytheistic religions. All of these should also remember that they are ALL semitic-speaking peoples, therefore the term “antisemitism”—which has been now ceaselessly weaponized by Zionist genocide apologists—needs to be repaired to where it’s not exclusive to only Jews, but defines ALL semitic-speaking peoples, including Arabs.

Pre-Abrahamic Jews were EQUALS with all other pre-Abrahamic pagans/Gentiles until the creation and maintenance of monotheistic Yahwist Judaism, in which Jews were supposedly “set apart” and “set above” all other “pagan”/“gentile” peoples of the world by this “God” YHWH. Tell me, how is this theology ANY DIFFERENT than, for example, Adolf Hitler claiming that his white Aryan race was the superior human race of the entire earth? How is Adolf Hitler’s ideology ANY DIFFERENT from the Bible, in which the Israelites were repeatedly commanded and encouraged by their “God” YHWH to violently colonize and commit genocide against indigenous western Levantine peoples?

Exodus 23:23-33

“For mine Angel shall go before thee [Israelites], and bring thee in unto the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites: and I will cut them off. Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images. And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil. I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turn their backs unto thee. And I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite, from before thee. I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee. By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land. And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee. Thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor with their gods. They shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee.”

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭23‬:‭23‬-‭33‬ ‭KJV‬‬

This particular scripture fits the UN criteria for genocide. First, killing members of the group:

“For mine Angel shall go before thee, and bring thee in unto the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites: and I will cut them off.”

“I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come”

Second, causing them serious bodily and/or mental harm:

“thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images.” (Cultural genocide)

“I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come”

“I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite, from before thee.

Third, imposing living conditions intended to destroy the group:

“I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come“

“I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee. By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land.”

Deuteronomy 20:10-20

“When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it. And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it: and when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: but the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee. Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far off from thee, which are not of the cities of these nations. But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: but thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee: that they teach you not to do after all their abominations, which they have done unto their gods; so should ye sin against the LORD your God. When thou shalt besiege a city a long time, in making war against it to take it, thou shalt not destroy the trees thereof by forcing an axe against them: for thou mayest eat of them, and thou shalt not cut them down (for the tree of the field is man's life) to employ them in the siege: only the trees which thou knowest that they be not trees for meat, thou shalt destroy and cut them down; and thou shalt build bulwarks against the city that maketh war with thee, until it be subdued.”

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭20‬:‭10‬-‭20‬ ‭KJV‬‬

This biblical scripture fits the UN criteria for genocide. First, killing members of the group:

“when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword“

“of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: but thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee”

Second, causing serious bodily and/or mental harm:

“the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.“

Third, imposing living conditions meant to destroy the group:

Fourth, forcibly transferring children out of the group:

This is still a project in progress. I am re-reading the Bible cover-to-cover so I can record all contradictions and indignities within it to be exposed for all to see. To truly decolonize and give native land back, we must realize that the abolition of the violent, settler colonial Abrahamic religions is a requirement.

#celtic witch #irish witch #welsh witch #scottish witch #norse witch #leftist #israel is committing genocide #genocide joe #palestinian genocide #gaza genocide #stop the genocide #end genocide #land back #decolonize #decolonisation #decolonialism #decoloniality #decolonize your mind #decolonise palestine

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historia-gloria · 2 months

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Hellou! I just saw in your latest ask game you also play dnd (or write dnd characters? ). If you feel like it, I would love to hear about your characters! As in your favourite tidbits, favourite backstory detail or, if you play, funniest twist of story you didn't see coming... Anyway have a lovely day!

AAAAAHHH

Okay this is maybe one of the sweetest asks I've ever had, I love talking about my DND characters and will do so for forever Thank you So much for asking ❤️❤️

So I've been playing DnD for over 5 years now, started out as a DM (woof that learning curve!) and have since then both played and DMed a lot. I mostly play DnD 5e, but I've also played Pathfinder 2e, Shadow of the Demon Lord and Call of Cthulhu.

Currently, I have three active DnD characters and one Pathfinder character (and one retired who I will never not think about) so here's a bit about them!

Nym Silentshard, Drow Night Cleric: My beloved baby Nym is a cleric who never really meant to be a cleric? When I originally envisioned the character he was a warlock but then the party ended up without any healers or mages, so I switched him to a cleric. He's young, bright and full of anxiety. The DM for that campaign is so good and Nym's god is a voice in his head which is slowly developing into a proper god with his help. Poor Nym is somewhat doomed by the narrative and was sacrificed to bring his god into being, which means he's slowly becoming a Saint (a monstrous creature created when that person wishes a god into being) but he's trying his best and his god Osiris is so kind to him.

Pollux Azari, Kalashtar Oath of Hope Paladin/Shadow Soul Sorcerer/Barbarian: Oh Pollyyy. He's my Curse of Strahd PC and if you know anything about that game, it's that it really fucks up your characters. Pollux was originally a ray of sunshine type character, oath of hope paladin and CoS has just absolutely destroyed him, he's now full of rage! Genuinely a really fun character to play and my DM has been so good at helping him get worse ahaha

Nox Leukos, half elf Artillerist Artificer: Nox is a character I've had the great joy to be able to come back to, with the campaign restarting after a 3 year gap. He was originally an asshole, but ended up in a coma back when the campaign when on hiatus and woke up from that with a lot of realizations about maybe having a moral compass aha. The DM really pulled the rug out from under us and revealed that the fiance of another PC had cured Nox of his coma but also had published her research about that without telling him that he was the subject!!

Infernus Nyrin, Fire Genasi Lycanthrope Blood Hunter/Hearth Cleric: This is my retired PC (he is also my pfp aha), he was my first long term PC and we finished his four year long campaign last year and God that was such a fucking insane and incredible campaign. He was originally a blood hunter and mercenary who had a soft spot for the PCs and then he just never left. He was fiercely loyal but deeply untrusting and had an almost suicidal tendency to step in front of danger. He died twice and would go unconscious like at least once a combat honestly. The DM helped me multiclass into a hearth cleric, so he ended the campaign retiring with his husband to a small village where he was one of the most important clerics in his whole religion, a soft epilogue for a character who had spent his whole life fighting.

Magnus Zyryah, undine bard: Magnus is my pathfinder character! He's in a short campaign that takes a lot of inspiration from fairy tales, so I did too! He is basically the Little Mermaid. Magnus is a trans man with a curse that is slowly and painfully turning his body to seafoam, so he's an ambulatory wheelchair user with chronic pain (I also have chronic pain, so it was good to explore that myself) and he's trying to make the best of his life before it is cut short by the curse. My boyfriend is playing The Prince and his character and Magnus had a relationship before Magnus transitioned and the Prince is looking for Magnus, but doesn't know that he's now a man!! Also to add complications, that campaign is set in a timeloop so we're living the same day over and over.

Special shout out to Milosh Greywing my Shadow of the Demon Lord character who got lucky enough to be part of an insanely perfect party where accidentally every character was hiding something important about themselves from the others but also we needed each other to escape, that party was a special kind of magic with illegal mages and dhampirs and religious inquisitors who all couldn't trust each other but couldn't get out without the others!

This is waaaaay longer than I expected but I just love DnD so much and I love being able to talk about my characters so much

#my asks #oh my god thank you for letting me ramble #my dnd character #my dnd ocs #redfeathered

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clover-writes-poetry · 5 months

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"promise"

i spent so much time with your head in my lap i forgot what it felt like when it wasn’t there

maybe i should’ve held onto the wisps of you that were stuck to my sweater and kept them a box inside my heart

i think i’ll be forever chasing the feeling i left on your back patio two years ago in some version of the past

the last time i really slept was in your sheets staring up at the constellation of your face

i find an excuse to bring you up at every chance i get

mentioning you to the cashier at 7/11, telling my grandma about your latkes

even when your jaw slipped from my fingers like sand from an hourglass

and under the cover of night i still listen to songs you like and wish i could banish myself to go live in the field behind the graveyard

among the skeletons and the dead flowers

do you ever think about the flowers i gave you that sat on your windowsill for 3 months?

sometimes i wonder if you look at them while you brush your hair in the morning in front of the photos of us stuck to your mirror

almost identical to the ones on the corkboard in the kitchen

breakfast at 7 am, your voice in my ear, the rush that came with boiling water, our favorite plates on the drying rack

i miss you when you’re next to me and i wish i could reach out to tell you that

imaginary fingers choke the back of my neck and i settle for watching you make dinner instead

i loved it when you cooked, i told you that once

you shrunk away from my voice and went back into the kitchen

but i could see your face light up in the reflection of the white tile

when you came home after work with a blue toaster i knew i was done for

a week later i found us teacups on someone's doorstep

we put on a record we didn’t care about, and you had your hair tied up in the kitchen

making a pasta dish we’d had 100 times

i poured the wine into our mugs, toasting to your hips as i raised my fork to yours

in the dining room i’d eat your weapons first because i have always been disarming

with your armor gone maybe you would let it be me who got to hold your hand under the table as if someone was watching us

we said grace for our own religion and when i opened my eyes your hand was resting on my plate

that night i put up a shrine to your name in the corner of our living room

you laughed when i made heart cookies and they turned out as misshapen lumps

pressing a kiss into my cheek you assured me they were just as good

i used the nice jam we bought at the farmers market in midtown

lines blurred between love and need as we spent all weekend writing the laws of our new country

were you laughing when we walked around the city for three hours trying to find your favorite ramen place?

i don’t remember but in the photo sitting on my dresser you were smiling, mouth full of noodles, eyes bright with joy

when i signed the check, you made fun of how i write my ys and i snaked an arm around your waist in a way that seemed almost overfamiliar

months later i stand in our bedroom door and pretend that i know a thing about love and anger and you

i think this is what they wrote about, when i read that love is falling

because i don’t know where the floor is

because i know it’ll hurt when we hit the ground

at one point i promised myself that i could be a person without you

[i broke that promise 3 months and 2 years later when i lay on the cold tile floor and cried]

#lesbian #lesbian poetry #wlw #wlw post #sapphic yearning #wlw community #wlw yearning #sapphic #i am so gay #poets #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #writers on tumblr

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hieromonkcharbel · 2 years

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An examination of conscience from "The Way of the Pilgrim":

Turning my eyes carefully upon myself and watching the course of my inward state, I have verified by experience that I do not love God, that I have no religious belief, and that I am filled with pride and sensuality. All this I actually find in myself as a result of detailed examination of my feelings and conduct, thus:

1. I do not love God. For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about Him with heartfelt joy. Every thought of God would give me gladness and delight. On the contrary, I much more often and much more eagerly think about earthly things, and thinking about God is labor and dryness. If I loved God, then talking with Him in prayer would be my nourishment and delight and would draw me to unbroken communion with Him. But, on the contrary, I not only find no delight in prayer, but even find it an effort. I struggle with reluctance, I am enfeebled by sloth, and am ready to occupy myself eagerly with any unimportant trifle, if only it shortens prayer and keeps me from it. My time slips away unnoticed in futile occupations, but when I am occupied with God, when I put myself into His presence every hour seems like a year. If one person loves another, he thinks of him throughout the day without ceasing, he pictures him to himself, he cares for him, and in all circumstances his beloved friend is never out of his thoughts. But I, throughout the day, scarcely set aside even a single hour in which to sink deep down into meditation upon God, to inflame my heart with love of Him, while I eagerly give up twenty-three hours as fervent offerings to the idols of my passions. I am forward in talk about frivolous matters and things which degrade the spirit; that gives me pleasure. But in the consideration of God I am dry, bored and lazy. Even if I am unwillingly drawn by others into spiritual conversation, I try to shift the subject quickly to one which pleases my desires. I am tirelessly curious about novelties, about civic affairs and political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my love of knowledge in science and art, and in ways of getting things I want to possess. But the study of the Law of God, the knowledge of God and of religion, make little impression on me, and satisfy no hunger of my soul. I regard these things not only as a non-essential occupation for a Christian, but in a casual way as a sort of side-issue with which I should perhaps occupy my spare time, at odd moments. To put it shortly, if love for God is recognized by the keeping of His commandments (If ye love Me, keep My commandments, says our Lord Jesus Christ), and I not only do not keep them, but even make little attempt to do so, then in absolute truth the conclusion follows that I do not love God. That is what Basil the Great says: 'The proof that a man does not love God and His Christ lies in the fact that he does not keep His commandments'.

2. I do not love my neighbor either. For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for his sake (according to the Gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I did love him as myself, as the Gospel bids, his misfortunes would distress me also, his happiness would bring delight to me too. But, on the contrary, I listen to curious, unhappy stories about my neighbor and I am not distressed; I remain quite undisturbed or what is still worse, I find a sort of pleasure in them. Bad conduct on the part of my brother I do not cover up with love, but proclaim abroad with ensure. His well-being, honor and happiness do not delight me as my own, and, as if they were something quite alien to me, give me no feeling of gladness. What is more, they subtly arouse in me feelings of envy or contempt.

3. I have no religious belief. Neither in immortality nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this. The very idea of immortality would terrify me and I should lead this life as a foreigner who gets ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity, and I regard the end of this earthly life as the limit of my existence. The secret thought nestles within me: Who knows what happens at death? If I say I believe in immortality, then I am speaking about my mind only, and my heart is far removed from a firm conviction about it. That is openly witnessed to by my conduct and my constant care to satisfy the life of the senses. Were the Holy Gospel taken into my heart in faith, as the Word of God, I should be continually occupied with it, I should study it, find delight in it and with deep devotion fix my attention upon it. Wisdom, mercy, love, are hidden in it; it would lead me to happiness, I should find gladness in the study of the Law of God day and night. In it I should find nourishment like my daily bread and my heart would be drawn to the keeping of its laws. Nothing on earth would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if now and again I read or hear the Word of God, yet even so it is only from necessity or from a general love of knowledge, and approaching it without any very close attention, I find it dull and uninteresting. I usually come to the end of the reading without any profit, only too ready to change over to secular reading in which I take more pleasure and find new and interesting subjects.

4. I am full of pride and sensual self-love. All my actions confirm this. Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view, or to pride myself upon it before other people or inwardly to admire myself for it. Although I display an outward humility, yet I ascribe it all to my own strength and regard myself as superior to others, or at least no worse than they. If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it, I cover it up by saying, 'I am made like that' or 'I am not to blame'. I get angry with those who do not treat me with respect and consider them unable to appreciate the value of people. I brag about my gifts: my failures in any undertaking I regard as a personal insult. I murmur, and I find pleasure in the unhappiness of my enemies. If I strive after anything good it is for the purpose of winning praise, or spiritual self-indulgence, or earthly consolation. In a word, I continually make an idol of myself and render it uninterrupted service, seeking in all things the pleasures of the senses, and nourishment for my sensual passions and lusts.

Going over all this I see myself as proud, adulterous, unbelieving, without love to God and hating my neighbor. What state could be more sinful? The condition of the spirits of darkness is better than mine. They, although they do not love God, hate men, and live upon pride, yet at least believe and tremble. But I? Can there be a doom more terrible than that which faces me, and what sentence of punishment will be more sever than that upon the careless and foolish life that I recognize in myself?

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nerooooooo · 5 months

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True Narratives are factual transcripts about specific events or experiences that took place often presented in a storytelling format. Its goal is to portray real-life events without any hint of fictional embellishments. Examples of True Narratives are as follows: biographies, autobiographies, historical events, and documentaries.

Testimonies, on the other hand, are a declaration of truth and facts. These are based on one's experience in a particular matter or a significant occurrence that they witnessed first-hand. Testimonies are frequently used in legal settings often by witnesses. Testimonies are also correlated with sharing one's story of religion and spiritual journey in faith.

A prime example of what a true narrative should look like is Mitch Albom's "tuesdays with Morrie."

1.) Introduction - The title of the book is "tuesdays with Morrie" and it is a true narrative written by author Mitch Albom. His story tells us about the reality of death and its inevitability through the life of his professor, Morrie Schwartz. That those who have realized the significance and absurdity of life in this world are guaranteed the certainty of the mystery of life itself.

2.) Summary - The author's purpose is to provide a more-than-one perspective on how a person should tackle on life. One of main points brought up in the story is that we'd bought into society's lie about what a meaningful life entailed, that we fail to take our time to just sit back and enjoy what's most meaningful to us. Mitch also specified Morrie's take on material objects—that it wasn't the nicest television, the latest fashion, or trendy cars that mattered, but the years of love and connection that gave him true joy and meaning in his days. To be able to turn away from a culture that does not make for a fulfilling life, and instead create a new meaning and purpose for us. It could mean spending precious time with loved ones rather than working endless hours that loses its meaning after the job is done.

3.) Evaluation - It seems the author is someone who has truly learned about life's greatest lesson and is eager to share it with the whole world. The words that came from a dying old man who is still full of passion for those around him was able to move hearts and touch souls full of doubts and insecurities of the future. Everyone is just so distracted with their everyday lives so much to the point where we developed a society where everyone is anxious, depressed, unbelieving, and lacked the energy to experience the essence of simple living. Thanks to Albom's masterpiece, we are reminded of what really matters in life. The things that we should hold on to and value with our whole lives. So that we will not be regretful, rather we'll get to experience the blessing of living to the utmost.

4.) Conclusion - I started reading tuesdays with Morrie with an expectation that it would be in someway a tear-jerker, but that turned out to be the understatement of the century. It was successful in making me contemplate and pause multiple times in between the pages of his narrative. I am confident enough to say that this book does indeed has in it, the greatest life lessons one could ever learn. It was able to bring me fresh perspectives about living that I have never considered before. I more than agreed with what came out of a seasoned individual, and I made sure to emulate his teachings in his memory. Overall, this book by Mitch Albom is a book that everyone should read at least once in their life. It evokes for change to happen in a person. It is capable of redefining how people view life in general. Giving more value to the little things and moments in life is what this book found the most meaning in and I could not agree more.

#CNF #MiniCritiquing #TuesdaysWithMorrie

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yves-and-scessernee · 5 months

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Ask Game: List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (>w<) <3

Sure! Thank you for sending me an ask <3 Let's see what I've got.

My read-aloud reading group makes me happy. We started a couple of years back as a way to get together and eke out some time in our lives to get through some books, and I'm honestly really proud of how much we've done. Some members have gone from feeling deeply insecure about reading aloud to jumping in with such enthusiasm and eagerness, and I've loved watching that progression. We've cleared novels like Dune, Dracula, 'Salem's Lot, the play Long Day's Journey Into Night, a ton of poems and short stories, and we're currently in the middle of The Vampire Lestat. I really look forward to it each week.

My wife makes me happy <3 She just got home from work.

The pride flag I use makes me happy. When I started publicly identifying as a lesbian I knew it was really important to me to avoid symbols that have brought pain to my network of friends and family, most of whom are mspec and/or trans, and while I pass no judgement on those who use these symbols for their own reasons I've just ... heard enough from my personal community to want to avoid them wholesale. I made the decision to use the dawn lesbian pride flag for me, and it's brought me a lot of joy. It's definitely made being public about my identity a very positive experience. And I really love that I can point to a specific stripe and say "that's me! I'm there!"

My religion makes me happy. I've spent some time lately preparing my altar for the spring, thinking about bringing in some flowers from the garden soon.

I did two long entries and two short ones, so let's close off with a medium-length one. The spring weather makes me happy. Winter has its moments to cherish, but spring ... the sudden chatter of birds, the lift of a brisk spring breeze, the shift from snow to rain, the way the landscape empties and begins to turn green. It's been raining on and off for the past few days, and I have been listening to it with my window open. It feels like hope. It always has.

#if you see this post you are also welcome to participate!#go ahead and post your 5 reasons

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alpimerealmsystem · 1 year

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Mkay so help me out please

SO, here's a list of all the poetry I need to write AND all of the otherkin/alterhuman/therianthropy/non-human/ so many others/ stuffs I need to write PUT THIS SHIT IN MY ASK BOX PLEASE. TELL ME WHAT Y'ALL WANT ME TO WRITE ABOUT. Anything that y'all want me to write I'll get around to it quicker, but because I don't wanna ask more people about what they wanna see, I need others to motivate me to write, does that make sense? Basically seeing someone request shit mentally encourages me to write about that stuff. SO enjoy the lengthy list (I will do 3, one for poetry, one for werewolf stories cause why not, and one for non-human rants I can do)

First list, poetry:

Busy calming down

Wasting time (what I'm doing rn)

Something that makes you feel unreal (and tell me what makes you feel unreal if you request this)

Broken toys (but compared to humanity)

Sickness

Being able to put yourself first

Butterfly effect

Misunderstood

The Nimona book/movie

Nothing left anymore

Food magic

Demons

Going crazy

Out of originality

Too much of life

Losing a loved one

Silence

Rebirth

Love at first sight

Shouldn't have let someone in

Home

Small things that bring you joy (and tell me what does if you request it)

Fire

Aftermath

War

Controlling Fate

Any color (if you request it's your choice)

Full moon

Stranded on an island

Religion

Overcrowded

We always want what we don't have

Habits develop into character

Snow white

Ariel

AND THATS JUST SOME OF MY POETRY IDEAS (holy shit I'm going crazy)

Next list: The stuff people want to see written about non-humanity more (I am using this as an umbrella term)

We're normal people y'all

We have feelings

The day to day life of being alterhuman

Alterhumans complaining about humans ruining everything

Bugkin

Primatekin

Non-humanity being influenced by mental health

Species dysphoria

Kintype loss

People who are alterhuman due to zoanthropy or plurality

Ockin

Non-otherkin alterhuman Identities

Hearthome and otherlink

It's not a mental illness

Objectkin

Psychological kin experiences and about psychological otherkin

Transspeciess

Otherhearted representation stuffs

Fiction folk

Other vague representation

Multiple studies have come to the conclusion being non-human requires accommodations not fixing

Fictionkin representation

Otherkin being "disrespectful" with their identities

Respecting non-humans

The history of otherkinity

There's an interview I need to write up and post- if anyone wants to see that right away (it's with someone who has two spirits in one body)

The feral side of being non-human and the struggles that come with it

Relationship between neurodivergance and otherkinity

Recipes for alterhumans and their kintypes

The general pros and cons to being nonhuman

Otherkin not getting bullied (stories)

Not being comfortable in your own body

And that was a portion of the list I have for that :') NOW last list I promise. This one is for so many different werewolf stories (that I haven't gotten around to, I'm a failure, ik)

A werewolf ripping clothes they just bought due to transforming

A werewolf having to wear certain clothing to hide body parts when they're partially transformed (ex, a beanie for hiding ears, gloves for claws, etc)

A werewolf forgetting it was full moon

A werewolf growling at a dog cause it growled at the werewolf (also same thing for howling?)

A werewolf having to deal with stupid jokes

A werewolf having to explain claw marks around the house aren't from a pet to their landlord

A werewolf having to resist buying pounds of meat since they can't afford it

A werewolf doing dog stuff and not realizing it

a werewolf losing weight due to turning on the full moon

A werewolf not realizing their strength and accidentally hurting people

Werewolves with disabilities

These are all just portions of lists I have, anyways REQUEST ME STUFF FROM THEM. I will not shove it in my queue, it'll get posted as bonus content and also I will do anything outside of these lists to. I will write any short stories just nothing including nsfw stuffs or heavy gore (although I'm fine with some) and yeah. Please request because it will give me more motivation

#therianthropy #alterhuman #otherkin #therian #therian community #otherkin community #poem #alterhuman community #poetry #original poem #Poemblr #Short stories #help me out #Non-human #Sin Rants #Sin And Their Mission

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