#this shit gets me soooooooooooo mad

[shiv--roy]

logged onto tiktok for five entire minutes before getting pissed off at the teens and logging off

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[thatbigbisexual29]

Getting Pushed Off the High Horse (Haikyuu!!)

Soooooooooooo... hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted a fic, and I deeply apologize! Life has been busy so hoping on the computer and writing is kind of a hard task, I'm sure some of you can relate. And don't worry, I'm still working on that lee!Hobie fic, but after that's posted I might stop with the Spiderverse fics for a while. I still love the movies, but I've ran out of tickle fic content for that certain fandom. So I'll try posting something new! Hence this fic! I've been a fan of Haikyuu for a while and started watching it again *shoves down at least 50 animes I've been putting on the back burner* Okok I've been rambling now, so here you go! Enjoy! :3

“Hell yeah! That spike was even better than my last one! Eat my dust Akaashi! Woo!” was what Bokuto was currently shouting at his teammate.

It was very uncaptain-like, but his friends knew him well to know that this was a common occurrence. Whenever the team practiced together, Bokuto’s gloating personality shone. Akaashi didn’t mind the showboating, he honestly didn't. But today was not the day.

First, he woke up 30 minutes late to school, had to make up an exam in his first period, spilled his lunch all over himself, read a passage wrong in his English class and got laughed at, found out he failed that first period exam, got a C on another exam, got fussed at for sleeping in class, and accidentally packed his dirty uniform rather than a clean one for practice, so he stunk really bad. Out of all the days the gods wanted to test him, this was the day. And Bokuto was no help. In fact, he was the one that caused Akaashi to spill his lunch. He apologized… but not after he cackled like a lunatic! He even threatened to make ‘soup crotch’ his new nickname. A ‘don’t you fucking dare’ look ended that threat quick and Bokuto even offered some clean clothes he had. Which was surprising since… well, since it’s Bokuto. 

And now, after that extra mean spike Bokuto just served, Akaashi’s anger was near its boiling point. He glared at his captain from the other side of the next, wanting so badly to wipe that smug smirk off of his stupid face. Bokuto caught on and had some shit to talk.

“Oooh, is someone mad he can’t block my spikes? You should have gotten used to it by now~ Isn't losing to me your strong point? Since you’ve been losing to me ever since we met, I thought you would have rolled over and accepted your fate already~” Bokuto purred, snickering when Akaashi’s glare grew sour. The ravenette responded with a quick, “Shut up, owl.”

“Don’t let him get in your head!” Konoha shouted. Akaashi shook his head and tried to focus. But today’s events just kept piling up every time he looked at Bokuto’s stupid, annoying face. He took a deep breath in and exhaled in an attempt to calm himself. As soon as these practices were over, he could go home. He just wanted to go home.

Washio served the ball and the game was in motion. After the back and forth tosses, Bokuto took his stand.

“Pass it to me!” he called. Akaashi kept eyes on his friend, watching the ball spin in the air towards him. He watched as the ace readied himself then ran to the net, Akaashi right in front of him. They jumped at the same time, Akaashi ready to block. Bokuto had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, one his best friend could spot a mile away. Then, there was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Take THIS, soup crotch!!!” Bokuto’s scream echoed across the gym as the sound of the ball slamming on the court followed suit. When they landed, Akaashi struck. He immediately ducked under the net and tackled the older boy to the court. Surprised, Bokuto let out an undignified squeal before bursting into maniacal laughter. He guarded his head as Akaashi attempted to collide his fists to the other’s shitty hair. He wasn’t trying to seriously injure, he would never go that far, but a few bruises wouldn’t kill the ace.

“I! Told! You! To! Shut! Up!” Akaashi growled between blocked hits. Bokuto just laughed and laughed as he grabbed Akaashi’s wrists and held them up.

“Hahaha! Looks like soup crotch can’t take the teeeasiiiing~” Bokuto just had to keep it up. Akaashi’s eyes burned bright with a murderous fire. Without knowing what else to do, Akaashi ripped his arms from Bokuto’s grip and shoved them into his armpits. That probably wasn’t the best idea since his pits were extremely sweaty, and because Bokuto decided to show everyone his best rodeo bull impression.

Bokuto proceeded to shoot his arms to his sides and hug his chest, cackling hysterically as his friend attacked a particularly bad spot. Their teammates watched on with exasperated yet understanding smiles. And plus, they didn’t dare intervene. Not when Akaashi’s face looked like he was happily skinning his prey alive.

“Yeah, yeah! Nothin’ to say now, huh? Huh? You were all big talk not one second ago, where did that talk go? Where did it go Bokuto?! You shut up real quick when someone gets a few tickles in, don’tcha? Come on, tease me again! One more jab, one more mock, one more word I dare you!” Akaashi bellowed with a sadistic smile on his face. Bokuto howled with mirth as he rocked side to side, kicking his feet to try and lessen the tickly feeling somehow.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! A-AKAASHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! NAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! EHEEHEEHEE- GAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” screamed Bokuto. He could never handle tickles well, his friends knew this. Even a squeeze to his side would send him through the roof. But this was plain ol’ mean. Akaashi knew his weak spots better than anyone, and how to tickle just right so Bokuto ends up crying.

“Oh nuh-uh! You deserve this, you bastard! How are you able to read the court, but not your friend?! Why do you have to be so. Damn. Annoying?!” Akaashi growled as he now focused on Bokuto’s ribs, alternating between his massaging technique and his clawing technique. The poor ace finally managed to roll onto his stomach, but somehow, not being able to block out the tickles from behind made him even more ticklish. 

“REEHEEHEEHEEEEE!! AKA-AKAAHAHAHAHAHAHASHI! SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRY! I’M SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S JUST- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT’S SOHOHOHOHOHOHO EHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEASYYYYY! REEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE!” Bokuto cried. He attempted to crawl away, but Akaashi kept him down by laying his shin over the small of his back. The rest of the Fukurodani team, who decided to take a water break since this might take a minute, laughed from the sidelines.

“Oh my god, he sounds like Scooby Doo!” One of them remarked. The others cracked up even louder, joined their voices with Bokuto’s in the echoing gym. Akaashi himself couldn’t stop himself from smiling earnestly either. Bokuto was a dummy, that fact wasn’t to be argued with. But at least he was a loveable dummy. Even when he’s more aggravating than sin. All the teases and jabs he made to Akaashi were all friendly. He didn’t have a sinister bone in his body. He probably thought that he was cheering up the setter, so no harm was truly intended. Such a moron, Akaashi thought to himself.

“Apologize! Or else!” Akaashi demanded, pausing the tickling and placing his hand on the back of Bokuto’s thigh. Bokuto flipped himself on his back with a panicked scream.

“I’M SORRY!!!! I’m sorry for calling you soup crotch! And for making you spill the soup! And for hitting those nasty spikes! Please please please please have mercy Akaashi!” Bokuto begged. Akaashi smirked and stood up, putting his hands on his hips.

“That’s right dumbass. Learn to cheer your friend up in different ways.” Akaashi was about to walk away when he felt Bokuto’s weak hand clasp his shorts. The ace panted heavily and gulped a few times, wanting to say something but unable to get it out just yet. Akaashi rolled his eyes fondly and waited.

“Aka- *gulp* Akaashi… *pant pant pant* Let’s stop by a store… *pant pant* and get… *gulp* meat buns? I’ll *pant* pay…!” Bokuto asked. The setter looked at him surprised, then smiled and nodded.

“That’s fine with me. Now get up and drink something before you pass out.” He pulled the ace to his feet and pushed him towards the bench. After practice, Bokuto kept to his word and bought them each five meat buns from a local convenience store. Akaashi didn’t need that much, but it was the thought that counts. He reflected back on today while walking home with Bokuto, who wouldn’t stop talking, and smiled. Eh, today wasn’t so bad, he thought. 

[jinkicake]

BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

[twsted-princess]

Idk if you're still taking BEEP asks but. What if I let you go wild. Go bonkers mwah

WOOOOO You got it!!! (with special mention of Kuze from @fumikomiyasaki)

Melanie - A late night text

"Kierron."

"Honey."

"I can literally see you outside my window, please use the front door."

Forte - An accidental text

"Hey hi so uuuuuuuuuuuuh that video of me in lingerie..........you won't supposed to see that. I was doing a shoot and it was for a waaay more private account soooooooooooo sorry. 😶‍🌫

Alto - A hyper text

"Delivery!!!!!!!! I don't know if you liked cherry or blue raspberry slush so I got both but you can try mine! (it's sour tho) I'm outside, come get your grub before I feed it to Gluttony."

James - A wrong message text

"Mel help me I can't get her out of my brain. I know I'd fall for Rochelle cause she's gorgeous and tough but now she's a princess??? Damn it she's hot!! Like really! hot!! Like (pardon my words) she caught choke me out and I'd say thank you. Mel please I need to stop thinking about her or I will go insane."

"Oh shit"

Fan - A frustrated text

"Before you say anything Parker yes I kick their stupid goth in the nuts but I had my reasons. He was following her around and being weird so I have full authority to make him leave. What do you mean Satin is mad?"

Elias - A concerned text

"Uuuuuuh Miss Yamamoto. I found one of your cats. They're hissing at me......should I be worried? Please pick up?"

[seafoamchild]

yesterday was really fun. me and austin went to house on the rock which was incredibly surreal. i was tripping this time so i had more energy to look at all the weird shit in there, so many circus dioramas and insane carousels and mechanical orchestras and dollhouses and antique guns and god knows what else! it was so great. i laughed so much that i almost cried.

then we went to pewit's nest to swim and cliff jump and that was super fun too. it's beautiful there. little waterfalls and swimming holes through a spectacular gorge. we swam all the way up and down the little river. jumped off the cliff twice. i was wearing my new red string bikini.

then we drove to madison to get russian dumplings which we ate in a little park off state street. the dumplings were so good. i wish we could have stayed longer. we talked so much all day long, and spent hours in the car driving through the lovely hills and bluffs of the driftless area. we talked about relationships and our parents and being depressed teenagers and friendships and traveling and staying in hostels and therapy. i talked about my dad a lot. i talked about traveling in morocco and all the kind women i met there. i talked about how i'm still attracted to luke even though i don't really like him that much. the psychedelics were making me so clear headed and rambly.

it feels so effortless to hang out with austin and i feel so comfortable and safe when i'm with him. he is so much sweeter and more empathetic than luke and we connect so easily. it's just a little sad that i still don't think i'm attracted to him and i can tell he's attracted to me. i feel bad but i don't want to compromise on that. who knows - maybe he could still grow on me. i don't know.

i went on a date with this guy who was tall and really hot, which was the only reason i went out with him. we had fun and laughed a lot, but i definitely have no interest in dating him whatsoever. we had sex and he kind of sucked lol. like he was so bad in bed. it honestly felt kind of powerful having a one night stand. and funny that he thought i was so great and so sexy and i was thinking to myself like "yeah you've probably never pleased a woman in your life dude" lol

it was fun to try something new i guess but it also made me miss luke in a purely physical way. like i just want to have sex with him. but it's for the best that we aren't talking - my mental health has been soooooooooooo much better since we stopped. and it pains me to think he could make me feel so bad and that i chose to keep putting up with it. why do i have to feel things so intensely? i guess i feel joy very intensely too so that's a good thing. but i still can't quite figure out why he made me feel SO awful. like he wasn't good at supporting me at all but he wasn't a complete shitbag, he really tried to love me. i'm not even mad at him anymore. he's just a dude who couldn't figure me out.

i've been talking to friends in the web development field and i feel more motivated now to start working on my portfolio and looking for jobs. i am enough, even though i feel like an imposter. i'll find something. i've been having a lot of fun this summer because i deserve it. on thursday we go to canada and i'm excited. i hope it will be fun. i've done so many psychedelics this year so far and honestly i think they've been really good at helping me realize things. i feel like they clear my head and enhance my experiences.

[karkles-does-things]

Your Dash is Not Ready

Sad Callie Saturday below the cut

-----

Simeon pushed through the crowded bar until he was standing at the edge of the circle, looking at what they all seemed to find so entertaining.

Callie was at a table, surrounded by empty glasses. The crowd was shouting encouragements as one of them pushed another glass into their face.

"Noooooo!" An electronic voice came from Callie's mask, fluctuating between several familiar cadences. They swiped vaguely at the offender. "Not yet. Need to...me-e-e-TABolize."

Larry pushed through the crowd and stood next to Simeon. "What the FUCK is going on here?" he shouted.

The crowd fell silent. Callie turned to look at them. They seemed...floppier than normal.

"Oh, he-E-ey, guys!" the mask called. "I'm. NOT having a good time."

And then they slid right out of their chair and hit the floor with a thud.

"Shit," Simeon hissed, shoving through the crowd. The Captain, meanwhile, lunged across the table and grabbed the glass-shover by the shirt, pulling him up until their faces were inches apart.

"THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?" he snarled. "THEY'RE JUST A KID!"

"Fuc'OFF," the guy slurred. "Jus' havin some fun."

"FUN?"

Simeon reached Callie and crouched down beside them. "Hey. Kid," he said.

"I app-p-pEAR to be on the floor," buzzed the mask. "We did. Not mean to DO that."

"Kid," Simeon repeated, reaching out and giving their shoulder a tentative shake.

Callie - or their mask at least - blinked at him. Then they reached up and held either side of Simeon's snout with both gloved hands.

"Wo-o-o-AOW," they said. "You-uuuu-re SUCH a g-g-good doggy."

"Oh, goddammit," Simeon muttered.

"H-h-HI, Simeon," said Callie. "I'm drunk."

"You don't say."

"Like...I'm WASTED. I'm fu-fu-fu-FUCKED up. Drank. SoOOOOOOooOOO much."

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THEM!" Larry was shouting. Simeon looked up. "THEY COULD HAVE DIED! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"Well if you CARE s'much, why weren't you HERE?" the man slurred in response, jabbing his fingers sloppily into Larry's chest.

The Captain grit his teeth with rage. "You little-"

"Simeon," said Callie.

The sobriety in the word was stark enough that Simeon glanced back. "Huh?"

"Simeon," Callie repeated, tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder. "Out- out of the way-"

"What? What's happening?"

"SIMEON," said Callie urgently. "I'M GONNA THROW UP-"

"FUCK!"

In one quick motion, Simeon backed away and reached forward, hauling Callie up onto all fours as they fumbled with their mask. The kid lifted it away from their mouth and threw up onto the hardwood floor.

Larry's attention turned from the man to his companions. He dropped him abruptly onto the table and made his way around. "Shit. Shit. Are they okay?"

"Do they LOOK okay, dumbass?" Simeon snapped up at him.

Callie finished emptying their stomach and stared at the floor, breathing heavily. They were trembling. They cleared their throat a few times.

Then they pulled down their mask and sat back on their heels, hugging themself and shaking violently.

"Kid?" Simeon asked, with a hesitant reach towards them. Their mask had gone completely blank.

"SIMEOOOOON," the voice behind the mask wailed. Callie threw themself into Simeon's arms. The shaking, as it turned out, was from sobs that were no longer silent.

"Oh-"

"I wanna go hooooome!"

"Um-"

"I f-feel so gross!"

"I'm sor-"

"I don't like being drunk! I don't like being drunk, Simeon!"

"Th-that's oka-" Simeon tried, gingerly putting his arms around them.

"I thought I did!"

"Yeah?"

"I was like...s' not FAIR! Because YOU got to be useless in the FIRST town, wh-where we met the-the...the fucken, army! An' then EVERYONE got to be useless 'n the Red Mist an'-an' I had to save EVERYONE all by myself! An' it was SCARY!"

"Mm?"

"An' I...I got MAD!"

"Ah."

"An' I was like...OOOO, new TOWN! An' you two jus'- jus'- jus'- LEFT. An' I was like. Y'know what? I deserve...t'be useless! I should get to...to...to be a li'l SHIT and, and give in to something, for fucking once, and have a good time too!"

"Mm."

"An' it's been so LONG since I got DRUNK...m-my mom threw away all the...all the...the good shit in my house, a few years ago, after she found me tha' that one time? Because...s' DANGEROUS t'drink with my antidepress-depress-ess-ants."

"Is it?"

"Mmm-hmm. Bu' I haven't...I haven't been able to take THA' shit i-in WEEKS. No fuck- fuckin...PHARMACIES in the DEATH SWAMP. And it SUCKS, but I w's like...A'LEAS I CAN DRINK NOW!"

"Ah."

"So I, I went n got a drink...but erryone was...was like OOO a HUMAN, les'...les see th' human drink! An' they kept making me drink more an...an more?"

"Uh huh?"

"An' I WAN'ED to stop but...but they got ANGRY..."

"They did?"

"An' you weren't anywhere, an' I didn't know wha...what to DO, so I jus' kept drinking and drinking an, an' I thought I was gonna DIE, but th'more I had the...the less scary it got..."

Simeon glared at the crowd. There was murder in his eyes.

"An' now m, my, m'brain isn't working! N' I'm dizzy, and sweaty and...and all GROSS and I threw up..."

"I knew that part."

"And I'm SORRY."

"You're sorry?" Simeon exclaimed, incredulous.

Callie nodded into his shoulder.

"Fucking- for what?"

"Because...I'm all dish-dis-th-disgusting and useless, and I probably smell really really bad," sobbed Callie, curling their fingers into his fur.

"Oh," said Simeon. He made helpless eye contact with the Captain and started to awkwardly pat Callie on the back. "That's okay."

Callie sniffed. "It is?"

"Yeah. I mean, you were right. We both got our turn to be dead weight, it's only fair that you get a chance. Sorry it wasn't fun."

"...was fun for a little bit," Callie mumbled.

"Good for you, then," said Simeon. "And, uh. Seriously, you don't smell THAT bad. I've smelled way worse things. For longer. You still mostly just smell like you."

There was silence for a moment. Then, in a small voice, Callie said, "Really?"

"Yep," said Simeon. "You're, uh. You're good."

"Oh," said Callie slowly. "Wow." They fell silent.

Simeon became uncomfortably aware of how long the kid had been hugging him. They had relaxed completely against him and fallen into a drunken stupor, so silent that Simeon might've thought they had passed out if it weren't for the fingers still tightly wound into his fur.

It wasn't unpleasant. That was part of the problem. There was a dim impulse at the back of his brain, something that wanted to...to surround them and snarl and bite and tear until everything that dared to even look at the kid was bloody and dead and eaten.

But Simeon knew the one who had designed his impulses, and she didn't make anything good.

So instead he gave a small growl and jostled one of Callie's shoulders, not too gently. "Okay, come on, kid, let's get out of here. Can you stand?"

"Oh. Yep," said Callie.

They pushed away from Simeon and stared at the floor for a hard moment. They seemed to be strategizing. Then, moving like a sloppily puppeteered marionette, they slung one arm past Simeon onto the table. They used it to haul themself upright.

The crowd yielded to accommodate them, silently watching.

Callie edged their feet carefully around the puddle on the floor, pushed off the table, and began promptly to stumble and fall over again. The Captain gave a wordless cry and lunged to catch them. His arms looped under their shoulders.

"You okay?" he asked.

"NO! Dammit!" Callie exclaimed, a slurred cry of frustration. "I didn't mean to...I don't wanna...lemme try again, let-"

"Kid, you can't STAND," said the Captain, trying to tug them to their feet.

The mask reactivated for a brief moment, a hideous voice buzzing in tandem with Callie's own.

"Don't TOUCH ME!"

The Captain let them down quickly and took a step back. His hands flexed helplessly.

Callie fumbled a few feet to the wall and slowly pulled themself into a more vertical arrangement. They leaned into it and breathed heavily for a moment.

The spectator who had been pressuring them to have another drink saw his opportunity, doing an awkward step/lean over to press the tiny glass to their mouth.

In a quick, violent motion, the Captain reached out and smashed the glass back into the bearer's face. It shattered on his forehead, sending alcohol, glass, and blood tinkling to the floor.

There was a small cry of outrage from the crowd. It fell quickly silent as the army man made a sharp motion towards the holster at his hip. His hand stopped short to hover threateningly over the handle. Gleaming red goggles dared anyone else to make a move.

"All of you are on THIN FUCKING ICE," he announced.

Simeon approached Callie slowly, from an angle where they could see him. "So you can't stand?"

"Don't TOUCH me," Callie repeated.

"I'm not," said Simeon. He looked around helplessly for a moment, trying to find a solution in a bar full of assholes.

Finally he turned his back toward Callie and looked at them over his shoulder. "Okay, get on," he said.

Callie looked at him, face unreadable behind the blank mask.

"I'm not gonna touch you," he said. "But you can touch me, right? It's different."

Callie stared at him a little longer. Then they nodded. They shuffled forward and all but fell onto Simeon's back, arms wrapping around his neck, face burying itself in his shoulder.

Simeon gave a small sigh and adjusted their drunken limbs around him. "Grab their stuff," he said to the Captain.

The Captain started a little and looked around. Callie's staff was still leaning against the table, cape and bag draped over the chair. He picked up the former and slung the other two over his shoulder.

Simeon sighed again. "Alright. Let's go."

"But-" the Captain started, glaring angrily at the crowd. His hand flexed towards his gun again.

"Let's GO," said Simeon. "It's not fucking worth it." He started toward the door, Callie in tow.

The Captain stared at the crowd again. Then he cursed angrily, kicking over a chair. He turned to the door and stormed out.

-----

"Did...did you know that horses can be'n...be-be in abusive rela-relashom-ships?" Callie asked.

"Were are we headed?" asked the Captain.

"There's a hotel down the street," said Simeon.

"I's TRUE," said Callie. "Don't...don't even AT me righ'now. Was one of them, weird, uh. Weird-ass horse kids when 'was little."

"I thought we were going to camp tonight," said the Captain.

"Yeah, that was before the human almost died of alcohol poisoning."

"Righ' but...but I learned, when I was little, tha' horses can be. Abusive. Victims. S' weird as hell."

"We need to keep moving," said the Captain. "If we want to reach the Asylum-"

Simeon bristled. "Is where we sleep really gonna make a fucking distance?"

"The asshole horse. It like. Bites the other horse. Kicks them. Eats their food, an-an' runs away from them. Just. Mean shit. But the dumbass other horse keeps, fuckin', following them around anyway."

"Plus, we're probably going to have to stay in town another day anyway," said Simeon.

"WHAT?" the Captain snapped.

"The kid's gonna be feeling this one tomorrow," said Simeon.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Would you make YOURSELF travel hungover? Or your men, or whatever?" growled Simeon.

"Th' idea is...the victim horse thinks that. The asshole horse will protec-*HIC* protec' them if anyone else tries to b'mean."

"Plus, we NEED them," said Simeon. "They're smart and have magic. We wouldn't have made it this far without them, and you fucking know it."

"I don't give a flying FUCK-"

"An, THAT'S why I keep hanging out with you!" Callie exclaimed.

The Captain and Simeon cut off and turned their attention to them.

"What?" asked the Captain.

"Th-see, when 'was little, I thought that the victim whores mus' be dumb as hell. I mean horse." Callie giggled. "Whores. BUT! I get it now. World is big an' scary. If you can pick the scary, it feels like you have some...some...control." They giggled again. "You two are fucken. Assholes. Bu' you came for me. Eventually. So maybe 's not that dumb."

Simeon and the Captain exchanged a look.

"Fine," spat the Captain. "ONE extra day."

Simeon arched his eyebrows and faced ahead again.

"Maaaaaaaaan," said Callie. "Don'...don' tell my therapis' I said this? But people're SO overrated. Like. Having a dad? Or...a real mom? Watching m'friends with theirs, s'like. SUCKERS! Miss me with...with THAT shit! N' my friends, too, in high school...s' like..." Callie sniffed. "They didn't fucking know me. Nah really."

The trio was silent for a moment. The only noise was music and voices from open storefronts, and cars whizzing by them on the street.

"Preten' I didn't say that," said Callie. "M'friends were fucking. GREAT. Good kids. Good people. They couldn't help not knowing me. I don't even know me. I's jus that...most people SUCK. Y'know? They're mean. And if...if you wanna get close to them, you gotta...give up SO many boundaries. Like...wha' makes you think you're worth it? Don' want...any fucking hugs. Piece of shit. Most of the time 's actually better to be alone."

They giggled and let their head roll back. "S' just BETTER!"

Simeon and the Captain looked everywhere except at each other as Callie laughed at the sky and they continued down the street.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm," said Callie, resting their forehead against Simeon's shoulder again. "Don' listen to me. M'...jaded. N' cynical. I don't always feel like this. Okay?"

"...Okay," said Simeon. What else was there to say?

They reached the hotel. Got two rooms next to each other. The Captain dropped Callie's stuff in their room and stormed into his. Simeon heard the door slam and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, here you go," said Simeon, untangling Callie's arms from around his neck.

"Ooookay," Callie slurred. They flopped onto the bed and lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.

Simeon stood there, watching them. Waiting for...something?

Eventually, Callie took a deep breath and sat up. "Iiiii'm gonna change," they said. They reached for their bag once, twice, then grabbed it, pulling it onto their lap. They stared blankly ahead for a moment. Then they whispered "right," reached up, and took off their mask.

Simeon flinched and turned away before he could see their face. He wasn't sure why. But the kid was drunk, and they'd never given any indication that they wanted him to see their face, and maybe seeing someone's face was a normal form of connection but something about never having seen it before made the prospect feel more intimate somehow.

"Alright," he said as the kid got to their feet and stumbled towards the bathroom. "You do that." He headed for the door.

He had his hand on the knob when the voice behind him sounded feebly.

"Wait, where're you going?"

Simeon turned around and SHIT-

The kid had made it to the bathroom door and was looking directly at him. The mask was still on the other side of the room, resting on the nightstand.

And there was their face, facing him full on like the sun in his eyes.

The first thing he noticed were the dots. Hundreds of tiny, tiny brown dots, dappling their face like so many stars. Some sort of fragmented pigmentation.

Next were the eyes. They were huge, long-lashed, and light brown, almost tan or yellow. They were unfocused, but they shone in their face like candlelight.

Then the nose. Small and pointy, and turned up a little at the end. Their lips, pale and thin, with the little dots dancing on the edges. Their hair, which he had seen before, but the way that it curled slightly against their face, brushed against their round cheeks.

The kid blinked their perfect eyes.

Simeon felt something jerk in his chest, like an invisible hand had reached in and squished his heart in a firm grip. He looked away.

"H-huh?" he said.

"Huh?" the kid repeated.

Simeon shook his head. "Um. What did you say?" he asked.

The kid sniffed and dragged a hand under their nose (little tiny perfect button nose.) "Said, where're you going?"

"Oh." Simeon pointed at the door. "Um."

The kid shook their head. "Nevermind," they said. "World is. Big. And mean. And I'm tiny and dumb. But I think i's done trying to get me tonight. You c'n go."

They smiled halfheartedly at him. There was a tiny gap between their front teeth. Simeon felt the hand squeeze his heart again.

Something in his brain lagged for a moment. When it caught up to reality, the kid had vanished into the bathroom.

"I think it's done trying to get me tonight."

Simeon swore. He stood there for a moment, hand on the doorknob. He swore again.

None of his impulses were good. Simeon knew what he was supposed to be, and he didn't want to be it. His instincts were base and twisted and monstrous and he didn't listen to them. He didn't listen to ANYONE.

That damn kid was using him. They had to be. Was this all a trick? Had she set this up somehow? Was that why his collar had stopped trying to make him come home? Because he was where she wanted him to be?

It would be like her. To let him go, just to prove to him that he could never be more than what she made him for.

That fucking kid.

"We'll regroup at the Asylum," they had shouted. No hesitation. As if all of this had been planned from the beginning, to take him right back. And they'd asked Simeon to lead them.

They hadn't seemed to notice yet that they were going the wrong way. Did that mean they really didn't know where it was? Or was that a trick too? Would someone eventually punish him for it?

Leave it to that bitch to have him questioning the reality of everything around him, even if there was a chance she had no hand in any of this at all.

Simeon was really starting to hate that fucking kid.

"I think it's done trying to get me tonight."

Why did they have to be so SMALL?

Simeon swore again and let go of the doorknob. He curled up on the floor at the foot of their bed.

Callie was out of the bathroom much later than it should have taken a person to change their clothes, but it was better than expected for someone so completely wasted. Simeon refused to look at them, but he listened as their feet shuffled towards the bed in the middle of the room.

But the kid didn't get in bed.

Instead Simeon felt them fall to their knees beside him. And then the weight of their torso settled on top of him. Fingers curled into his fur. A little nose nuzzled into the back of his neck, beneath his collar.

The kid didn't seem to notice how Simeon bristled as they began to pet him, combing their fingers down the fur of his shoulders and arms.

Their touch was impossibly gentle. It felt good. It felt wrong. To be touched that gently. To be held without being hurt.

"Mmmmm, good doggy," the kid was mumbling. Drunken nonsense. They reached up and scratched him behind one ear oh FUCK that felt good-

The kid was singing now, a little babbling noise as their fingers curled through his fur. Some sort of nonsense. Their voice was high and sweet and so quiet that it occasionally rasped into a whisper.

"Oh, but they're weird n' they're wonderful...oh Bennie she's...she's um. really keen...she's got. Electric boots...a mohair suit, y'know I read it in a magazi-ine. Mmmm, mmm...

"B-b-b-bennie and the Jets..."

Simeon felt something growing in the back of his throat. He tried and failed to swallow it down. Goddammit.

One good thing, she had given him and his brothers. "Stress relief," she had told them. A modicum of comfort, just so that none of them could say she hadn't given them anything. He refused to use it, at least in front of her. He refused to use it now.

But as his limbs relaxed and the kid's quiet singing became sleepier and sloppier, he felt the urge getting more and more powerful, and his drive to suppress it growing weaker and weaker.

Goddammit, he thought again.

But he managed to wait until the kid fell asleep - fingers slackening, breathing evening out - to actually let it happen.

A rumble grew in the back of his throat, rusty at first, stuttering from neglect. But it grew, in volume and confidence, until his whole body was thrumming with it, completely relaxed under the warm weight on his back.

Simeon closed his eyes and purred.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #707: The Slap (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

2:23 p.m. at Smash's Mansion.......

Bowser: ('Scoffs') I don't believe your ass already, Ridley. There's no way you actually managed to get a lady's number!

Ridley: (Glares at Bowser) Why? You think just because I'm some monsterous space pirate, I wouldn't have any chances on scoring with anyone?

Hades: (Rolled his Eyes) You practically put the words right out of our mouths on that one.....

Ganondorf: You're appearance alone does seem more threatening.in the eyes, compare to the rest of us.

Bowser: (Gives Ridley a Smug Look on His Face) We have more chances of getting any woman than you wish you can.

Ridley: Really? (Crosses his Arms Together) Then by all means, tell me what exactly you imbeciles have to impress the ladies that I don't!?

Ganondorf: Well, I have muscles, dark magic, a evil, dominate personality....

Bowser: I can kidnap any princess no problem. (Shutters a Little in Fear) As long as it isn't Daisy.....

Hades: (Puts on the Most Smug Like Grin He Ever Had) Do you have any idea who you're asking this to? I'm motherfucking Hades! I can get any woman I want with little to no effort.

Sephiroth: (Smirks Confidently While Holding Onto a Cheerful Pichu in his Arms) I'm already a fan favorite in this town. Isn't that right, son?

Pichu: (Happily Cheers) Pichu!~

Mewtwo: (Crosses his Arm While in an Uninterested Manner) Love and romances are beyond my interest......

Dark Samus: ...................................

Bowser: See, even Dark Samus gas a chance at getting more numbers than you can!

Ridley: ('Groans') Forget I asked.....All I know is that I have enough charm and personality to get as much beautiful ladies than you hooligans can ever dream of havi- (Sudden Feels Someone Tapping his Shoulder) Hm? (Turns Around at the Person) What do you- (Eyes Widened at the Person) want?

The person in question was none other than Chun-Li, who is now glaring harshly at the space pirate in complete silence.

Bowser: (Eyes Widened at the Woman Presence) Holy shit, is that Chun-Li-

Ganondorf: (Sliently Shushes at Bowser)

Ridley: (Confused at the Woman Glaring at Him as he Slowly Raises his Finger Up) Uhhhhhhh.........Can I....help you-

Then, without warning, Chun-Li suddenly gives the space pirate three, stinging slaps across the face. The third slap she delivered was so hard that it caused Ridley to crash on the club's table.

Bowser: (Immediately Got Up From the Table Along with Everyone Else) Oh shit!

Ganondorf: That escalated quickly.....

Sephiroth: (Still Holding Onto Pichu) It's more unexpected if anything..........

Mewtwo: Whatever Ridley did to her, he deserves it.

Dark Samus: ...............................

Ridley: (Groans and Winces in Pain from the Slaps he Has Gotten) What did I....do......

Chun-Li: That...was for murdering Samus' parents, you heartless monster! (Gives Ridley One Final Glare Before Walking Away) ('Hmph')

'A Bit of Silence'

Bowser: Soooooooooooo uhhh.......('Clicks is Tongue') You guys wanna talk about what just happened, or-

Hades: Mheheheheh....Aheheheheh....AH!-

Meanwhile at the Living Room.......

Samus: (Smiles Softly as She Sees her Girlfriend Making her Way to the Sofa) Hey there, beautiful stranger~ What took you so long? And where your bottle of water?

Chun-Li: I uh.... (Looks Down While Shyly Twiddling her Fingers Around) Didn't get the water bottle......

Samus: Really? How come?

Chun-Li: Well.....you see, I didn't get it because.... u-ummmm...........(Finally Sighs in Defeat) I can't lie to you like this, Sammy......

Samus: (Frowns a Little in Worry) What do you mean? What's wrong?

Chun-Li: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) I didn't go to the kitchen to get water. I....went to the dining halls to see one of your mortal enemies, Ridley, in person. A-And by seeing him in person, I mean....... slapping him across the face.....

Samus: (Eyes Widened in Complete Surprised) You bitch slapped Ridley!?

Chun-Li: I-I-I wouldn't go as far as to put it like that! But....('Sigh') If you insist, then yeah..... it's the truth.

Samus: (Almost at a Loss of Words) Holy shit.........

Chun-Li: (Immediately Feels Terrible as She Bows at Samus) Gomenasai! I didn't mean to do something like that! I felt really bad about what happened to your parents and, well, I-

Before Chun-Li could even finish her sentence and much to her very surprise, Samus gives her a sudden yet loving and passionate kiss on the laps, which lasted about a few seconds before she slowly pulling away.

Samus: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) I love you~

Chun-Li: (Immediately Blushes Bright Red) Really? I-I-I mean!.... Y-You're not... really mad at me?

Samus: What? (Chuckles Lightly) Of course I'm not mad at you, 'hon. I was more surprised that you actually went over there and did it if anything. That and....(Smiles Softly While Blushing Herself) It really made me happy that you did all of this for me. I mean, I know everyone else in this mansionwould've done the same for me, but..... I'm still thankful.

Chun-Li: (Stares at Samus for a Few Seconds Before Smiling Softly Herself) Sammy~ You don't need to thank me for something like that. I just....Did what I thought was right....or at least justifiable. I mean, really, take it from someone who dealt with someone taking their love ones away from them in a young age. Or.....more so.....(Frowns a Little) a father......

Samus: (Begins to Frown as Well) Oh no. I'm so sorry. Who was the guy who did that to you?

Chun-Li: ('Sigh') An evil dictator name, Bison. Hate him with a passionate.....But at least he's finally dead now. So I don't have to worry about him anymore.

Samus: That's good at least. Again, I'm really sorry you had to go through with all of that...... Losing your own father and everything......

Chun-Li: (Smiles Softly) It's okay, Samus. I may still miss him to this very day, but......in a way, his passing......kind of helped that there's more to life than just mourning and being miserable. I may had some stressful times along the way, sure, but....thanks to a few of my closest friends, colleagues, and Li Fein, I still manage to pull through in the end and I'm proud of myself for that.

Samus: (Smiles Softly) As you should be. You are the Strongest Woman in the World after all. (Winks at Chun-Li)

Chun-Li: (Giggles Softly While Blushing) Oh geez....People still call me that nowadays?

Samus: Oh definitely. You do have some impressive feats in your arsenal.

Chun-Li: Maybe. (Gently Holds Samus' Hand with Two of Hers) But I believe you're just as strong as me and any woman in this world. I know losing a love one and...even living with someone who harmed them in the first place, can be pretty tough at times. But as long as you can help your head held high and keep living life to the very fullest, I'm positive you'll continue doing just fine in this world. Don't you think?

Samus: (Simply.Nodded in Agreement) I understand it completely thanks to you. And hey, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to and all of that, I'm always here for you.

Chun-Li: (Happily Nodded as Well) Thank you so much....... S-So uh....

Samus: Hm? What's up?

Chun-Li: After that kiss you gave me.....(Starts Blushing Again) You really meant it when you said you love me?~

Samus: (Starts Blushing Herself) Oh! Uhh.....Yeah. I....guess I really did. (Chuckles Lightly While Rubbing the Back of Her Head Back and Forth) Sorry about saying it out of nowher-

Before Samus could even finish that sentence, Chun-Li pulls her in and gives her a loving, passionate Kiss on the lips. Causing the Bounty Hunter's blush to turn bright red.

Chun-Li: (Pulls Away From Samus For a Few Seconds While Giving her a Playful Smirk on her Face) Don't be. I love you too, Sammy~

Samus: (Almost Speechless) C-C-C-Cool- (Gets Pulled into Another Kissing Session with the Strongest Woman in the World)

Bonus

Hades: (Continues Laughing his Ass Off at Ridley) AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ridley: (Sighs in Annoyance as He Rubs his Slapped Cheek Up and Down) Are you done laughing now or-

Hades: (Holds his Finger Up as He's Still Laughing at the Still Annoyed Space Pirate) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ('Inhales Deep Breath') AHHHHH!- (Suddenly and Finally Calms Himself Down) All done now.

Ridley: Finally-

Hades: HA! Now I'm done.

Ridley: (Growls at the God of the Underworld)

Ganondorf: Okay! As entertaining as that situation was, I think it's about time we start figuring all of this out.

Bowser: (Smirks Smugly at Ridley While Snickering) Yeah. Like wondering what you did to piss off "the Strongest Woman in the World"

Ridley: (Glares at Bowser) I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!? Seriously, she just slapped me and blamed me for killing Samus' parents-

Hades: Which you definitely did, by the way.

Ridley: SHUT UP! A-And another thing......(Starts Getting Flabbergasted) I-I didn't even know the woman who Samus was!!

Ganondorf: Yeah. How does she knows who the Bounty Hunter is anyways?

Mewtwo: They're in the romance relationship with one another.

Ganondorf: (Turns to Mewtwo With Genuine Surprised in his Eyes) Wait. Seriously?

Mewtwo: (Simply Nodded) That's right. Why else would a veteran Street Fighter go as far as to slap someone like Ridley across the face three times? It's one of the many ways for any partner to defend their love ones honor, after all.

Bowser: Huh. (Chuckles Lightly) Well, good on Samus for scoring someone like her.

Ridley: (Still Irritated).Yeah. Sure. Good for her. Who gives a shit!? I'm still in pain here!

Hades: Oh give it a rest already, you blantent pussy. So you got bitch slapped by your arch nemesis' girlfriend. Big deal! You can just walk it off and-

Before Hades can finish his sentence, one of Dark Pit's girlfriends, Misako, comes out of nowhere and gives him a hard hitting punch in the gut, followed by a flying kick to the face by Kyoko, another one of Dark Pit's girlfriends, instantly causing poor God to fall down into the ground in utter pain.

Hades: (Groans in Pain)

Misako: (Walks Up to the Beaten Hades) That was for making our Angel Boi watch Boku no Pico, jackass! (Gives Hades a Middle Finger Before Walking Off)

Kyoko: (Turns Away While Crossing her Arms and Following Misako Behind) ('Hmph')

Sephiroth: (Still Holding Onto a Giggling Pichu) Well, what do you know? Another unexpected chain of events.

Bowser: (Chuckles Lightly) Yeah. And it's two for the price of one.

Hades: That brat.....punched me in the gut......Why.....Why would she punched me in the gut?........

Ridley: Not so funny getting your ass kicked, doesn't it?

@keyenuta

@26shann

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@miki-13

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

[tellywoodtrash]

shaadi mubarak 11, 12, 14.09.20 lbs

11.09.20

bhagwan give me as much dheentness as kt.

lmaoooooo kusum eavesdropping on this juhi/preeti convo and facepalming over and over.  

poor kusum has to do the dirty work of getting rid of kt.

ugh tarun/rati.

lmao fuck off rati, she still not coming back to be naukrani to you.

preeeti classsy as fuckkkkkkkkk.

shouldn't have told them the plan. they don't deserve to know shit.

I NEED TARUN TO BE MURDERED IMMEDIATELY. LIKE 3 SECONDS AGO. HE'S LITERALLY THE RUDEST FUCKER I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED ON ITV. LIKE, IT TAKES SOME SPECIAL SKILL TO ECLIPSE THE 4 LIONS MEN AND THIS DUDE GOT THEM ALL DOWN PAT, LOOKING LIKE THEY GOT THE MANNERS OF A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN. FUCK. LITERALLY DIE RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING HELLSPAWN GARBAGE FIRE PERSON.

every time rati says “pranaam”, my eye twitches from rage.

lol kusum's mad that she had to turn kt away.

bless sumedh, he's the nicest boy in this whole show, i love him so much.

what dukaaan do sumedh/juhi haaaaaaave?!?

KUSUMMMMMM, YOU JUST PROMISED THAT YOU WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THISSSSSS TO PREETIIIIIII.

kt also has zero hope.

he's sooooo earnestttttttt, while talking about preeti and her talent. i adore that about him.

lmao preeti doesn't get kusum's sass.

KUSUM IS HEADDDDDDDDDD CHEERLEADERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

omg she's soooooooooooo me, this is exactly howwwww i motivate my friends!!!

lmaoooooooooo ghoom-phir ke everything comes back to having sex and babies with someone who was essentially a stranger.

poor preeti. i really do get her side as well.

lo aa gaya rejection waala phone call.

i love kt's mom's saris. they're so simple and classy.

oh kt, you teddy bear of a man. i wish you happy thingsssssssss.

WHY DO THEY RANDOMLY GHUSAOFY THESE ROMANTIC TYPE OF  SCENES???!?! IT'S TOO FUCKING EARLY FOR THIS. YES THEY CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT EACH OTHER BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ROMANTICALLY CODED AT THIS POINT.

kt's momma bear is very wholesome, but this family coddles him waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

kusum's being pissy and taking out gussa on khaana.

poor kajal, juhi, and preeti. kisi ko koi idea nahi how to sambhaalofy kusum's ubalta hua gussa. my god, i fear this is beyond the superpowers of sumedh too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12.09.20

preeti seems to have watched suno chanda and is using the flower petals on the pankha method to apologize/cheer up.

but lemme tell you, no average desi mom is ever gonna appreciate this method. COZ WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS HAAAAN?!?!!? EK TOH GUSSE MEIN HOON, UPAR SE MERA KAAM BHI BADHAA DIYA.

omg preeti's playing songs to manaofy herrrrrrrrrr. this is truly the most wonderful love story of this showwwwwwww.

LMAO KUSUM'S FACE.

oh no. kusum is Big Mad.

oh boy, aastha gonna take the brunt of this.

LMAO “ghar waapis chodne ki zaroorat na hai, raaste mein koi peepal ka ped mile toh wahaan thaare ko taang de; wahin pe sookhti rehna!”

kajal is alarmed by this threatttttt.

blah blah blah kt and mom love fest.

oh ho, there's some financial masla between chacha/chachi and kt's parents.

kajal is hellllllllaaaaa cute, i love her the most.

piyu is here to throw thanda paani on everyone's attempts.

why does piyu have SUCHHHHHH gile-shikwe with kusum? why doesn't she get that she's all bluster, but a goddang softieeeee on the inside?!?!!?

preeti be like child, you don't know tf you're talking about.

ok i don't really agree with this way of parenting, but like.... whatever, i get it.

PREETI KNOWS HER BESTIE SOOOOOOOO WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

KUSUM HAS PLAYED REVERSE CARD!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THIS FRIENDSHIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST WHOLESOME EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao preeti realllllyyyy making her work for it, i fucking love ittttt.

“kab se apne saheli se baat karne ke liye mere pet mein dard ho raha tha, pata hai??!” “saachi?!?!!?!”

OMFG THE CUTEST.

the way preeti's face truly lights up when she's talking about something she's passionate about, it warms my cold, dead heart.

this sudden cough of kusum's is very fake and suspicious.

saamaan pohunch gaya? oh boy.

I KNOW THAT VOICE THAT'S HUMMING.

THAT'S RANGEELO THAARO BEEND, PREETI.

this incorrigible mannnnnn!!!!!!!!! 

THIS THOPDA LINE MAKES ME WANNA BREAK SOMETHING.

oh no. jhoomar has fallen. please don't let this be an awkward romantic moment.

LMAO KUSUM'S SHEER GLEE AND JUHI'S HORRIFIED FACE.

kusummmmm is sweetesttttt. she convinced juhi too!

hein abhi piyuuuu ko juhiiiiiii se kyaaaaa masla hai!?

this shoddy work doesn't bode well for you, KT.

LOL THAT DUMB MOLE, AND HER FACE AT HIS EXPLANATION. I LOVE HER FACE SOOOOOOOOO MUCH.

KT's like his own walking talking wikipedia page.

lmao, kaam kaisa laga, he asks; standing amid the ruins of this kaam.

“ji buraayi kaisi? itna badhiya baandha tha ki seedha sar pe aa gira. aur kahin nahi gira!” LMAOOOOOOOOOO PREEEEEETI I LOVE YOUR SNARK

thaaari best fraaaand ne bataaya ki tu yahaan milegi, aur kaise?!?

THIS MAN IS A CHILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

14.09.20

kt-saa is flashing best puppy eyes while talking about equal division of labour. dunno about preeti, but i'm convinced.

ugh agarwal is gonna be a dodgy client, isn't he?

PREETI YOU TOO SOFTTTTTTT, YOU NEEEEEEED KT TO HANDLE THE CONFRONTATIONAL PARTS.

ok those taars look fucking unsafe as fuckkkkkk.

HE'S LITERALLY A CHILD LOOKING AT  A CHRISTMAS TREE.

kuch bhi kaho, he's a quite a good judge of people. very much like a puppy that way.

lmaooooooooooo preeti walking away while grumbling about how kusum repeated literally everything to him like a totuuuuu.

please tell me the juhi/piyu backstory (and possibly tarun’s involvement) is gonna come out alreadyyyyyyyyyy.

kusum ain't no fool. just tell her already.

OUFF MANHOOS PHONE KO ABHI BAJNA THA.

i feel like i've seen this red kurta that piyu is wearing on shrenu in the ib redux??? something very similar anyway.

anyway, something reallllll shady between juhi/piyu. it's that fucking tarun. i'm sure of it.

KT YOU ARE LIKE A DOG WITH A BONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

abbe this agarwalllllll.

OH HO PREETI, LISTEN TO KT!!!!!

ooooooh samoseeeeee. i want.

legit my reaction to foood too. excitement and heart eyes and happy wriggles.

ok just coz she knows your preferred condiment to matar ke samose doesn't mean that she knows you enough to go into lakhon-croreon ka business with you.

DUDE I WOULD KILL FOR A SAMOSA RN.

agarwal a fucking fraud. also a rudeasss bitch.

AGARWAL KA, RATI/TARUN KA, CHANDA KA, SAB KA BADLA LEGA RE TERA KTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

KT-SAA GONNA GARAJ BARAS SAAWAN GHIR AAYO ON THIS FUCKER.

oh preeti, come hereeee. *massive huggg*

kusum holding courttttttttt and all the kids happily giggling at her stories. my heart is warm.

preeti trying to break the baddddd news.

this kt/kusum alliance is bloody amazing. though i can't wait till it's a lil more equal and kusum starts calling kt on his shit occasionally. that's when it'll shift gears into peak comedy.

LMAO WTF HAS KUSUM DONE TO THE ROOOOOOOOOM

damn i really love all the furniture in this room. i'd loveeeeeeee to have these handicraft pieces.

lol kusum last minute mein looking for the cockroach in the back of preeti's blouseeeeeeeeee

preeti ko chodo, kusum itself is gonna fall asleep on her feet.

ugh fuckkkkkk agarwal.

AWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSSS KT IS HERE TO READ HIM TO FILTH.

kusum and fam showing support with aankhein and smug smiles.

DAMN KT, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE THIS CUTTHROAT. GOTTA SAY, IT'S KINDA HOT.

ugh preeti, you're tooooo fucking nice. kya zaroorat hai ab bhi iska kaam karne kiiiii??? 

PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST MEMBER IN THE RANKS OF WARRIORS WHO'LL FIGHT FOR PREETI'S AATMASAMMAAAAAN: KT-SAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

———————————————————————    

thank the heavens; preeti has finalllllllyyyyy made the decision.

[wuobio]

So I need to rant incoherently about Norse Mythology. It happens.

My biggest pet peeve about Norse Mythology in modern media?

Marvel Studios.

Yes, it's great they included Thor and Loki and Valkries and all that but they missed out so much that, honestly? Could have mad it soooooo much funnier/better/more sense.

Like how Thor once had Mjolnir stolen by frost giants, dressed up as Freya (without shaving or anything, just a dress and veil) with Loki as his hand maiden, got in and beat the giants' asses to kingdom come. It could have been a moment of bonding, or a neat little detail mentioned in passing, y'know, just something.

Also, Loki's kids.

Goodness, I could do a whole post on the main four, but I'm gonna condense it for everyone's sanity. Or try to. I'll probably fail.

You all know Hel/Hela? She's actually Loki's kid, the goddess of the dead and half corpse. Depending on what you read, either her face is split between gorgeous maiden and horrifying corpse or her legs are rotting goat legs. She's the second youngest of all of Loki's monster kids and the only girl. I read an amazing book from her POV, which I can't remember the name of. It really fucking annoys me that they made her Thor and Loki's sister because not only could you have added angst and comedy it just makes more SENSE.

And Fenrir/Fenris. He's bound by Magic chains TM made with cat footsteps and ladies beards by dwarves. He also bit off Tyr's (the god of war) hand. His hand. It's just such a crucial part of mythology, and I known there's already been "Thor: Ragnarok" but still.

Now we have our eldest creature. Jormungand. A huge. World-spiralling. Serpent. He resides in the Earth's oceans. Wrapping around it like earpod wires. Thor and Jormumgand HATE each other. Thor and a giant went fishing, Thor caught Jormungand, couldn't lift him.

THOR CAN LIFT MJOLNIR BUT COULDN'T LIFT A MOTHER-FUCKIN' SNAKE

This says tons about how important he is. Once Thor finally (after pretty much drinking all of Midgard's ale) lifts him. The giant severs the line in fear because Jormungand is going to bring about Ragnarok. Thor will kill Jormungand and Jormungand will kill Thor. Lemme just make that clearer.

JORMUNGAND IS GOING TO KILL THOR

KILL HIM

K I L L H I M

That's a big Fucking deal.

Even if Marvel doesn't do that, couldn't they reference how there is a huge snake in the ocean?

Perhaps the wackiest kid of all, Sliepner. An eight-legged horse ridden by Odin that can run at beyond incredible speeds. The strangest thing about him is his context.

Basically, after the war with the Vanir Asgard was not looking to good. The worst thing destroyed was the outer wall. It had been completely decimated. Frost giants were attacking and Asgard was at an all time low. Until this big, blue man comes along and says "Hey, I can build your wall if you want?".

Odin is really happy but still suspicious, so he asks what he wants for payment. The blue man says that if he can't build the wall within a certain amount of time (usually a year) then there will be no payment. However, if he builds the wall in time, he gets Freya/Freja the goddess of love (who, interestingly, rides a cat chariot. But anyway) to marry him.

Freya obviously doesn't like that. But it's gotta be impossible to build a whole big-ass wall in just a year, so Odin agrees.

BUT

Blue dude, in six months, gets 3/4 of the wall done, no shit, no fuss. And Loki being Loki, goes:

"Hey, what if we spy on him and find out what he's doing?"

And Odin just goes "Yeah dude". Because Freya is

P I S S E D

And will not leave him alone.

So Loki goes and spies on blue man and discovers that blue man had a super strong, super fast stallion that can carry a shit-ton of bricks to build the wall in twice the time. Loki goes back and tells everyone, tells them he has a plan. He disappears for a few months, blue dude loses his horse because it falls in love with a cute mare, can't finish the wall in time and loses. Then Loki comes skipping back with a newborn stallion, gives the horse to Odin who discovers that he goes R E A L L Y fast. And that's the end of it.

This is a strange story because one, Loki fucked a horse and gave birth to a horse. Which is just soooooooooooo...I mean I can't even explain it other than magic. And two, it's just as funny as Loki stabbing Thor whenever.

...

...

Yeah I think I'm done now. Sorry for the long post, but my brother has become obsessed with Marvel and I got annoyed and hey, what else is Tumblr for? I love Marvel but I love Norse Mythology more and I get really pissed when it isn't followed. However I love the concept of Loki being Thor's brother, so that's cool. Again, sorry for the long post. Have a good day.

[benverlesbians]

your kin boy richie

oh HERE we go!!!

1. he’s a piscean man so he automatically has NO rights

2. he screwed his highkey iconic taste in men stats by crushing on NOT ONLY the saddest 80s miniseries mini eddie knockoff because of fuckign STREET FIGHTER, but like. being dumb enough to not even know that he was related to bowers. u got a crush on this boy bc he kicked your ass at fucking street fighter and you havent even had a conversation? did u even know his name??? stop coopting lesbian culture!!!!!

3. and ANOTHER thing!!!! he acted like the losers fighting was him getting dumped and he goes on a pubescent gay rebound with the ABSOLUTe worst option, and then pulls some sad little self-flagellatory “im in love with my best friend who’s mad at me right now and a symbol of how cisheteronormative masculine expectations are crushing me, a gay child in a small town in the 80s, just tried to kill me in public, so now i’m gonna carve our initials into the kissing bridge in defiance of the universe and in hopes that someday it’ll mean what it looks like it should and that’ll be okay and we’ll be friends again” ritual??? bitch???? 

4. his tunnel vision is soooooooooooo blatant like babe. baby boy. you’re not subtle. *almost gets eaten by spider-stan* “Eddie? baby? you okay?” *is under attack by fortune cookies and on the opposite side of the room as eddie, who is being defended by BEN who would NEVEr let anything bad happen to him* “EDDIE!!!! EDDIEEEE!!!!!” like shut up you are so LOUD

5. the tenderness of him cupping eddie’s cheek v. the dick move of it being his stab wound cheek… he has a neck! he has another cheek! don’t go slapping his stab wounds!

6. like im still mad about That Scene but like. that was a thr*ugh and thr*ugh st*b w*und and you need to apply pressure on both sides…. logically the only way to s*ve his l*fe would’ve been a hug and it’s stupid that they didn’t let that happen. also like. if all the living losers have to be in the circle to kill It why the FUCK didn’t he either a) stay with his man and kill the clown from afar or b) carry him in?!?! hello?!?! support your childhood sweetheart AND your friends’ clown-killing agenda simultaneously. 

7. he flirts via insults because that’s how he shows he’s paying attention and it only works on eddie bc he does the same thing MEANWHILE he flirts with poor sweet lesbian ben bc ben’s ripped as shit and jacked as fuck by... like he STARTS OUT being mildly offensive and then he just gets real gay and its like “oh okay so you do have social skills you just turn them off because you only absorb the ATTENTION part of NEGATIVE ATTENTION if you have feelings for the attentee got it”

8. stop MONOLOGUING not everything is an opportunity to make a JOKE just fucking THROW THE ROCK!!! if i were going to throw a rock at an evil clown demon’s face to try and injure it and save my friends, i would simply not get caught in the deadlights while making a pop culture reference. rip to richie tozier but i’m different

BONUS DRAG: just bc as an adult you make your hair straight doesn’t mean you can make your you straight or make anyone think you are!

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

K

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

oh my god how can I pick just one???? 😱 

Hmmmmmmm, the main ones I want to mention are ones I also want to keep to myself until I write them/finish writing them because I feel like they’re very unique...I don’t wanna hear if they’ve been done before cos then I won’t want to write them anymore XD

Let’s see...something I’m not super protective over....tbh I lot of my super angsty ideas involve sad/hopeless endings tbh. I’m a sucker for them.

I had a really angsty time travel idea where character A goes back in time to save Character B from dying, and they do, but then after that conflict passes, another springs up and Character B dies again. So A time travels again and saves them from that too, and lo and behold, a third conflict springs up and B dies again. And so on, A is just completely incapable of letting B die, and suffers over and over again because B’s death is inevitable and unchangeable, but they also don’t get desensitised to it cos it’s always different and they can have months and years in between giving them false hope that they’ve finally saved them. And then, ooh boy, compromised morals as they get more and more desperate to save them, until they can’t even recognise the person they are anymore and maybe Character B even ends their relationship over how much they’ve changed (may or may not be aware of what’s happening, who knows, not me)

Actually...that’s not that angsty enough that’s kind of bland and done to death

dammit

I really like angst ideas where for whatever reason, a character is going through hell in the story, suffering a lot, for a perceived purpose. I have a few ideas like this, but then when it comes down to it, at the end, their suffering was pointless for whatever reason (there are a few alternatives) and that’s like, oooh that hits where it hurts, even with a happy ending, there’s a lingering sense of just...despair, cos they could have avoided so much suffering but they didn’t notice something, or were too in their heads and perpetuating their own misery because of it etc. Those ‘what if’s man, they hurt.

The long soulmate au I wrote three years ago was like that, Draco suffering through the years keeping quiet about Harry being his soulmate (and not even Harry knew) and he was telling himself he was protecting Harry (only slightly true, but once he made the initial dumb decision he was kind of locked into it since he stupidly decided to keep Harry away by making him hate him *cue eyeroll* Draco you dumb fuck), and everything happens as in canon, but with that undercurrent of him loving Harry because they’re soulmates (but also hating him because when he starts suffering (and oh boy I made him suffer from after GoF onwards, torture and nastiness from the DE for sport and all that, and he blames Harry, if it wasn’t for Harry being his soulmate, and he feels so afraid all the time of someone finding out and using him to get to Harry and suffering even more, and maybe he’d be better and not get hurt so much if not for Harry and blah blah) and then near the end (8th year) they’re sort of becoming friends, and Draco went on a killing spree when Harry died, so he’s known as a hero now and fucking hates it cos he only sees himself as a weak coward for always running away and hiding from the DE and only fighting because he was mad with grief when he realised Harry had died and didn’t actually mean to save any of the people he saved, and he still hasn’t told Harry, even though Harry talks to him about soulmates a lot once they start talking, cos Harry still wonders where his is (papers printed a pic of his mark in 1st year so everyone knows what his mark is, and Harry assumes his soulmate just doesn’t want him) and Draco is fucking miserable, and trapped in his habit of hiding and completely incapable of telling him, so when Harry makes a move on him, Draco pushes him away because he’s so afraid XD 

I mean, it ended happily, eventually, but all his suffering, esp his angsting about how Harry would react after being made to feel unloved and unwanted for those years, and how miserable he made himself with it, was pointless and for nothing because Harry accepted him, even if they moved very slow after that to build trust (cos Harry is no idiot and Draco gave a lot away when they talked about soulmates even if Harry didn’t realise at the time Draco was talking about them)

I got so much fucking hate over that though, which is why that fic is not online and won’t ever go back online. and yeah. That actually might be my angsiest, just from the sheer pointlessness of his suffering, which was the point (lol), but very very unsatisfying for readers even though they got a happy ending, and oh boy they let me know and I was a wee baby writer only on my second fic so yah. Never written anything that angsty again actually, now that I think about it...

I mean, the technical writing of that fic was shit (no, really it was terrible) because it was only my second fic and I didn’t edit as I posted, but no one said a word about the writing quality, it was all hate for the plot and my handling of the characters and that damn ending, but everything they hated was intentional and what I loved about the idea myself soooooooooooo, awkward

Anyway, yeah that soulmate au is probably my angstiest thing, just cos the suffering has no purpose or meaning and could have been avoided if the character had just made different choices, and it dragged on for 7+ years. And it’s just delightful the way he shifts between loving Harry because of being soulmates and all the societal conditioning therein (but also knowing they’re soulmates making him really pay attention to Harry and see what kind of person he really is and all that) and then hating Harry and wishing he was dead, and then feeling overwhelming guilt for feeling that way about his soulmate, and then cycling back around to rage, and then relief to see him again after every summer of suffering, and just, ughhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s my kind of angst right there, so good.

Fuck I rambled so much. probably littered with typos and shit. ugh I’m tired I’m just gonna post it how it is XD

Send me a letter for this fanfic ask meme if you’re curious =)

[chuunibyou]

Holy shit I finally beat the second isle on Cuphead, I only just started playing yesterday but HOLY SHIT LMAO. I don’t even rage or anything (I did a bit yesterday because I was already mad about something) but man you start to get a little antsy tbh. But MAN it feels just like Dark Souls for me where once you beat the boss you are struggling with it feels soooooooooooo good. Cuphead is a lot harder for me than Dark Souls though, because I haven’t played a g

I’ve seen most of the last few bosses on streams (especially Tyler 1′s) and I already know it doesn’t get easier zzzzzzzz. Some of the earlier bosses I’ve never seen actually though or I forgot about them since it has been so long. I love all the different weapons/shots you can use! Some are better against certain bosses and that’s greattt I love it. The game really does feel like a classic game. I bought it like months ago but I never played it, I’m glad I randomly decided to finally because I want to go through and beat games I never finished/games I bought years ago.

Challenging games really feel great, I love that feeling once your hard work finally pays off mmmmm.

[ubelyptus]

soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

  interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems 

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you 

on snapchat 

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me 

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho 

but she did 

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind 

even after my phone died 

how to remain soft with you.  

even after being callled 

“old news" 

pffft

at least until

 i ‘m  eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit 

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee 

ha!!!

 how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar 

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT 

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly 

after all

i asked 

was that they 

not speak to me 

about you?

but YAAAAAAS  twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i 

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo 

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too” 

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you 

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you 

venuse....????. no....a 

talking and 

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat 

 powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

 black and white 

me out 

to NEVER BE WRONG 

AND I DO 

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!! 

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI???? 

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

 and lowkey being dishonest 

to yourself first

 and then subsequently

 to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me 

“my turn” to get fucked 

by you 

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

  i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself 

you do treat trans partners

 like side hoes, 

thasssa wholeBET 

and some change

 for you to create

cuz thassssssss 

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

  i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years, 

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

 ,,,,,even after i spiraled 

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you 

and talking to each other 

about you

oh, you didn’t know. 

but i got mehndi done today 

let a summer baby boy

love 

a cut up 

by me

body

 before noon

today 

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

 on the failed cuts

 on my wrist 

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into 

white meat

 when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to 

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

  i don’t trust the internet 

sooooo you not telling me 

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to 

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

 “old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me 

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

 to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me. 

and you’re not a liar , 

so don’t 

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

  i should know 

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

 like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you. 

as cardinal water/pisces moons 

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

 ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me 

when i dissociated 

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry 

that there was blood that you had to see. 

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners 

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia. 

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me 

on the phone 

at your place of work 

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you 

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

  say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person" 

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time. 

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t 

 i still  love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

 hate someone 

who called you 

"OLD NEWS” 

compared to a bitch pushing 30 

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

oh

no

NO

no,

no

no

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

  s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false. 

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

 ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE 

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

 a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

//

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

 but not 

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll 

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids 

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

 like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this 

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

 babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

 but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

 turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves. 

for a real bitch 

with microhealing abilities, 

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas 

and only of black power

 but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

 if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

  a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame 

that

in your unwelcomed  to both me and you

BLOOD

 blood 

is what brings me back

 to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me, 

you seem to have expected me

 to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really 

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

 my favorite accomplice

 and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

 “old too” or “old news"

 for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

  ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby 

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign, 

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt 

when you told me you voluntarily 

triggered yourself

 for her kitty too

but i AM 

a grown man

 who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april 

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to 

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing 

until me…you know 

i, the "old news” 

just feels like he should just 

fucking fall 

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy 

to fall

 into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel. 

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you 

she could never marry you 

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me 

or to you 

or be so foolish

 as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door 

that i was suppose to pick up 

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all, 

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct 

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

no

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli 

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

[seraphsfire]

Hope it's not weird to pop in to say that I'm really enjoying all the Black Sails you've been posting, because the show means a great deal to me. I just saw some of the tags you posted about the massive shift in depth between Season 1 and 2, and I just wanted to say I'm convinced that all the bs in 1 were all to trick Starz/viewers that it was GoT with pirates, and then when 'WHOOPS actually we have amazing story to tell, hope you enjoyed all the sex it will never happen again' it's just so good

I’m sooOOOOOOoooo confused by the shift in black sails honestly i was just watching it because i was like ‘most of this show is garbage but it has pirates and i’d rather get mad at the garbage in a show than the shit in my own life rn’ but now it’s just like??????????

what happened did they get entirely new writers or showrunners bc there is a HUGE tonal shift going that i feel like had to be bc a producer, showrunner, and/or a lot of writers got switched out and changed.. it felt like the people running the show started actually caring about it? 

but yeah if anybody wants to watch black sails now or tried to and s1 is gross, watch the ‘previously on’ to get the gist of s1 on the first ep of s2

and skip all of ned lowe’s scenes, he’s only in a couple eps but he’s nasty, bc he’s the last sort of ~look i’m an evil Edgelord~ holdover from the tone of season 1

i’m not saying it doesn’t have Issues after that because it Does, but the okay parts become Really Good an the really bad parts mostly disappear as s2 progresses

[bleuberrygliscor]

It’s sad that people on this site pretend that the Rom Sites are 100% guilt free heroes since some of them DID host Roms of the stuff Nintendo still actively distribute like 3DS games. There is a massive difference between hosting games that are rare/unlikely to resold/too pricey to buy and hosting games that are common/easy to buy.

Its honestly not even that part that gets me.

Idc, im not a perfect angel, i know and have personally pirated games (nintendo, mother 3 when???) in my youth. Its not the actual wanting to play shit for free, its the hypocritical whining for archival. Like absolutely none of you were worried about games that were lost to time until now.

Even then theres…nothing stopping those games from being documented. There’s several wiki sites with an extensive listing of every detail you’d reasonably like to know.

Like i said to a friend when we talked about this the other day: You cant just walk into the MOMA and demand a copy of the art you see. Archival does not mean “instant and immediate access whenever”.