#this should be fucking illegal tbh

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

like and reblog this post if you think the same brand of bluetooth headphones should be able to fit in the same case if you've lost one half of one pair and the case of another pair no longer charges bc the charging port is broken somehow bur you've got both headphones in that case. or that bluetooth phones should be able to connect to each other across brands as well so that if you have two pairs that have lost halves you can make a whole lmao

[izzyspussy]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[transformersbrainrot]

Oh my god im gonna be fucking sick

i hate themmm

[todayisafridaynight]

i made refs for myself solely for color picking and so i remember how i draw daigo’s pants and im too busy cackling at daigo In General when put in between these two

[undead-potatoes]

Living in a hell world where something can be labeled "unscented" with big letters as a main selling point and still have fragrance in it

[chaserofstarsandtheabyss]

Mother stop calling me your “biological daughter” challenge and using that to explain why you’re so upset at trans women competing in sports (impossible)

[dipyronegirl]

i have once again been discriminated against for my accent

[gayjaytodd]

.

[2truehearts]

I hope you received Ayatos hug and also mine now!!

Hugs you tightly and never lets you go <33❤️❤️

I love you 💞💞

IVE BEEN SCREAMUNG FOR THE PAST MINUTE BC I DID OMG VI IM SISVSJSJJSVSKDVSMSGAKHSJSBDY

HUGS U BACK AND PATS UR BACK I LOVE U TOOOO 💕💕💕‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[slutdge]

my friend had cherry flavored whiskey last night and it tasted... fine. but i woke up this morning and my whole mouth tasted like cough syrup and no matter how much water i drink or how much i brush my teeth it wont go away so. dont drink cherry flavored whiskey no matter how good it tastes initially.

[3416]

you mentioned p*racy in one of your last asks -(if you dont mind answering this) what is the best app/site for t*rrents? I want to start using them but dont want to have a virus filled computer or be put on a fbi hit list 👀😅

LOLLL. i mean the key to pirating is just making sure you have a good and reputable vpn (i use nordvpn), torrent client (i use qbittorrent), and file sites (i mainly use rarbg). here's a good beginner's guide to basically what torrenting is and how to do it (although i would NOT recommend using utorrent, it's not as safe of a client as the others i've read). but also you should prob just read around and make sure you know exactly what you're doing... plenty of people on the internet do this and relatively safely, you just gotta mainly make sure your ip address can't be tracked and you're not downloading scammy files (it's fairly easy to tell if there are no seeds/trackers and the file name/data looks weird).

[todayisafridaynight]

If you had to choose between banging Aoki and banging Mine, which would you bang?

oh you're all gonna hate me

[redrockbutch]

how is it legal to have the vegas sphere that close to major roadways

[cptn10]

I fully understand where it’s coming from, but I cannot agree with this sentiment of “filming strangers in public should be illegal”. Think about the implications of that in regards to journalism, art, self expression, accountability and history.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Congrats on 5k!!! Can we get the possessive facetime bf and "you should have known better than to cheat on me" please :D

A/N: Thank you! And tbh I made this a smutty smut smut as well b/c i feel like this is how possessive bf would handle the situation. Aka poorly.

CW: dubcon NSFW, gagging & bondage, penetration (GN Reader), reader flirts w/ someone else, reader & possessive bf originally both intoxicated

It was too late for this. Or maybe, too early. You lost track of time long ago, glowy green numbers on your alarm clock reading 1:45 AM when you first stumbled back home with the pissed drunkard beside you, dragging you inside by your arm. You were practically sober now, your headache screaming as you felt the blissful simplicity of being tipsy leave your throat. You wish you drank more, did something more outrageous than give some stranger your number. Maybe you should’ve kissed him, should’ve stuck your hand down his pants instead of batting your eyelashes. Maybe then, you wouldn’t have to face your boyfriend’s wrath-- he’d have been too heartbroken to even think of reprimanding you. 

But it didn’t matter now, not when he decided to deprive you of your senses while pumping round after round inside of you. It was a form of white torture, he hystericaly answered when your arms were jerked behind you, tied with what you thought might’ve been a makeshift restraint or a necktie, but was instead harsh braided rope meant for cattle or ransom victims. It scratched your wrists as he pulled your head back by a fistful of hair, promising that “you’ll be begging for his forgiveness by the end of this.”

With the blindfold he seemed much too prepared to have wrapped around your eyes, Malachi ripped off your skimpy underwear meant for the club, stuffing it in your mouth and narrowly avoiding your biting teeth. 

When you both went to celebrate his cousin’s birthday party at a nightclub, you had partly decided to ignore him for treating you so possessively the past month, logic being thrown out the window with the sudden accompaniment of lemon drop shots and a handsome stranger showing you more interest than your jealous, pissed off boyfriend had in ages. You felt wanted, desired. It was nice, even when you felt daggers in your back, and a tugging hand on your shoulder every five minutes. The last straw was when you wrote your scribbled, illegible phone number on the strangers’ arm. 

Saying Malachi was enraged was an understatement. You were jerked away, stumbling and laughing as you blew a kiss to your midnight affair. Did you want more? You didn’t know. All you knew, is you wanted a fun night out without having to cater to your obsessive boyfriend’s every need. You wanted to feel sexy, lusted after. 

But maybe you should’ve pulled that stunt at a time when Malachi wasn’t around. Then, you wouldn’t be sobbing behind the gag, hearing the wet squelches of cock being bullied inside of you. Your insides felt bruised, nipples tugged and bitten as Malachi slamed in, in, in from below. 

Normally, you’d have the power when sitting on top of him, grinding and allowing him to lay limp. But with your thighs spread apart on his flank, hands against your ass and every sense blurred, he thrusted into you as you barely held yourself up. 

“This.. is.. what.. you get--!” He huffed, snarling as he slapped the growing welt on your ass cheek. You heard his gasped gag, hips stuttering with his broken orgasm splaying inside of you. 

Which orgasm was this? You couldn’t remember, the vibrating toy milking out your sweet spot still going as a mixture of clear-white came to coat Malachi’s dick. He hadn’t eased you in, hadn’t given into the foreplay he’d usually tease you with, even when he normally hate-fucked you. 

“You know better..hng, been taught, time, and time again… hah,” You tried to squeeze your legs shut to keep him out, but the hands keeping you lifted moved to violently pull your knees apart. You fell onto his chest with a choke, the sweat dripping from your cheeks mixing with the caked layer on his chest. “You’re just making it too easy for me to punish you, huh?”

You muffled through the gag, prating incomprehensibly as the painful overstim of your lower half was worsened by this new, weak position. 

Malachi lazily rutted up into you while coming off his high, pressing your hips down each time to enter deeper. He always went to the hilt of his cock, so deep inside that it made your walls ache and splinter. 

“I’d almost say you’re a masochist fr’me,” He panted, lifting you by the jaw to look into his eyes. “ Wanna be pounded by me for flirting with other guys, cheatin like a common streetwalker, mm’?”

You shook your head, unable to see him but knowing those green eyes were boring into you. 

“Seems like you still don’t fucking get it then. Well, we’ll be here until you do.” 

The gag was pushed deeper down your throat with his thumb, hips rising as he let go of spreading your cheeks to stabilize you. Skin smacked against skin as he pounded up, letting your poor hips fall each time he burrowed out. 

“I can’t!” You muffled, the tight pain of another rising orgasm coming beginning to blind you. You couldn’t take this one, your body wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

Attempting to slide off, you tried to maneuver your legs away, arms still bound as you struggled to inch off of him. If he was as tired as you, maybe you’d get a chance away. 

“Oh no you don’t,” He growled, digging blunt nails into the fat of your thighs with one hand, while the other tugged at your scalp. “Think you get to rest? Get a chance to relax after cheating on me?”

The encircling vibrator was turned up tenfold with the sudden drop of your hair, fingers moving to tug at your ear. “No way, not leaving until I THINK you’ve suffered enough.” 

Malachi got close, licking a long stripe inside its canal as he jutted into your weeping entrance faster. The squeaks of the mattress made you cringe, hearing the wetness of his cum layering between your ass and thighs, falling to the sweaty sheets. 

His heaves for air grew louder, pushing your shoulders back to force you upright again. You still slouched, even with Malachi’s arm tugging your restrained hands down backwards. 

“Gonna take my cock like the.. Hungry whore you’ve been..take it till you’re sorry. And even then, Hah…” He laughed, a pissed and out of breath laugh that made him work harder to bruise your furiously drenched hole. “--still won’t stop cumming inside of you.”

You could only crack a groan each time his hips snapped up, in rhythm with his movement as you felt the vibrator bring you to the brink of another painful, consuming orgasm. Tears and drool dripped from your face alike as you prayed for him to nearly have his fix, lest you pass out from the ecstasy and suffering of another round. Atleast it wasn’t another painful edge session, your hazy mind tried to comprehend. Though at this point, you wondered if that’d have been better. 

“Waz.. Mnph, Drunk..” You tried to choke from the bundled up gag, hoping maybe he’d offer you some sympathy out of your previous lack of inhibition. 

“Sorry, baby. Doesn’t matter, still actin like you wanna fuck other guys n’ front of me,” He circled his hips upward, watching as your already open mouth created a sweet ‘O.’ You couldn’t help the noises you released anymore, not when he used what you liked and abused it--  but your moans seemed to satisfy Malachi.  “But you ready to say you’re sorry? Make it up to me, yeah?”

You nodded your head erratically,, wanting this to end no matter what you had to do. You were exhausted, the lessening vibrator making you sigh in relief despite the aching bruising still inflamed by the plunging cock hilted inside of you.

“Awe, you’re so cute. It’s not enough, though. Say sorry all you want, I wanna hear you.” The evil trick of the calming vibrator had snuffed your awareness, making you jolt when it was snapped back to a level 10. “But I’m not letting you off the hook when you still got so much left to pay for.”

[the-muppet-joker]

ayo did you actually rock up to your uncles house with a SWORD????? that us the gayest fucking shit I've ever read, you should be taken out back and put down tbh

"The gayest fucking shit" you've ever read? Heh. Allow me to change that.

Joker's tongue stuck ever-so-slightly against the felt of Kermit's legs as he pressed open mouthed kissed up the soft green felt of the muppet's thighs.

"Fuck! Ahh... Stop t-teasing me already!" Kermit croaked weakly, face down in the pillow. Joker began to chuckle darkly, as he always did when he was about to pound. It made Kermit's Muppet Hole pulse and shudder as it got wetter and wetter. Joker chuckled darkly.

And then- SQUELCH! He slammed his cock deep into that muppet.

"AaahhhhhhmnnnnnnnngggggggoooOOUUGGHHHHH," Kermit mewled and whimpered.

Joker pounded his hotrod in and out and in and out. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. SLORP. Kermit was twitching with his mouth open, drooling with his eyes crossed.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- HAAAARRRUUUGGGHHHHHH!" Joker chuckled darkly and then roared, plunging even further into the plush green hole than he had imagined as the Muppet Hole squeezed so tightly around his leaking cock that it was practically sucking it in like a vaccuum.

The muppet's eyes snapped open, suddenly glowing acid green, but with his arched back facing Joker and his face obscured by the pillow, Joker failed to see it and pull out. He missed his warning. Kermit had turned Dark Muppet mode.

Suddenly, Joker's member was sucked in by a powerful force, to the hilt. "BREED ME," snarled the rabid muppet. Joker throbbed. But he knew the danger. He chuckled darkly, strugging to maintain his composure. They couldn't do this again. With abortion now illegal in Gotham, there would be no way they could stop the fetus from being born. Joker knew that abortion was a sin in the catholic church, but it had been a necessary evil the few times they had bred because. Let's just say.

A Muppet and a Joker? Their baby would be the Devil.

Joker tried to pull out with all his might, but it was too late. The muppet suction was just too strong. He chuckled darkly. Kermit's grip was just too strong. Gods, this felt so good. He needed to cum. "Fuck, I need to cum," he chuckled darkly. So what if we birth the antichrist? The world turned their back on me a long time ago. Maybe our frog-clown demon spawn can serve as my own personal middle finger to planet earth.

And with that, he errupted. His cum was acid green. Not that you could see it, as nary a drop escaped the firm seal of Kermit's wetness. Kermit whimpered in relief, cockwarming his clown prince as the seed absorbed into his muppet felt.

Joker chuckled darkly.