#not even an attraction thing just solely like. i cant even explain it

[todayisafridaynight]

If you had to choose between banging Aoki and banging Mine, which would you bang?

oh you're all gonna hate me

[aroaceconfessions]

im somewhere on the aromantic and asexual spectrum(s) & all my friends know and are cool with it. im not solely fictosexual/romantic but i do often like to indulge in those kinds of fantasies with my fav characters and whatnot, admittedly. i think im greyromantic/sexual or demi personally in addition to the fictional characters thing and one of my friends understand where im coming from but another one doesn't get it and tbh made me feel like i was kinda being judged by him a lil bit. we were on a call with one other friend and he said "for being the only asexual in our group you sure seem fine making a lot of sexual jokes" and how im not uncomfortable with the topic of sex and things like that. i started explaining how im sex averse and wouldn't be likely to engage in sex unless i really felt connected to a person AND on top of that felt sexual attraction to them but its just never happened and i think its unlikely to happen. im fine with sex jokes and stuff too, sometimes i think they're funny. but when i explained that to my personal knowledge, i can only feel sexual attraction to certain people under certain conditions and can't see myself engaging in sexual activity, he responded with "and are those conditions being a fictional character?" and it just kinda ???

it set me off, a lot. and it hurt. and i said no and he said he doesn't believe me and i cant tell if he's joking or not but it made me super feel like shit and start questioning my ace identity and also made me feel highly invalidated. im not even questioning it out of doubt because i KNOW im acespec AND arospec. i dont like to label it any further than that and the whole fictional character thing has nothing to do with how i identify personally bc i feel like i could want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship with someone but i haven't met anyone who has made me feel that way at all. i dont wanna sound like a "if i met the right person" case but i wouldn't doubt it for me personally as just myself even though thats not really my point.

i just felt invalidated and then i kinda went nonverbal after he said that and it made me deeply upset. I've been so confident in being aroacespec and this felt like i was being shamed and it tore me down and i cant even tell if he was genuinely serious or kidding but either way i didnt appreciate it.

sorry this got ranty

Submitted April 13, 2023

[makahimetenshi]

Addicted to Chems - Paladin Danse x Sole Survivor Fanfic

-Why do you keep consuming that stuff you know that’s junk for your body, even your druggie friends says the same

-Come on you know I only do it for fights

Thing is they where constantly fighting.

After menacing elder Maxson to kill himself if anything happens to Danse, both were spared, well, one exiled, the other one on watch but technically spared. The ex-Paladin had a very delicate situation explaining to himself and the world why he feeled so alone and abandoned and…to make him understand that his life was worthy because there was people that loved him and would cry for his loss Nate took the chance to confess when the opportunity arrived, yes, maybe he wouldn’t confess in the middle of a existencial crisis but it was a right chance to give the man something after loosing everything.

And also his head had been crazy looking for chances to have something with the Paladin. Nate had a growing feeling in his chest since the moment he decided to make the Paladin his companion. Never, never, never had fallen in love or thought about romance with another man, never even feeled attracted but…Danse hit him differently, unexpected.

Nate didn’t thought about being this close with anybody after…what happened to his wife, he promised himself that his only worries would be Shaun and the vengeance of Nora but…it was stronger than him, love is strong, love hits you like a rock in the head and you cant avoid how it makes you feel.

Sometimes, he felt guilty, for betraying Nora like this, he saw her die in front of his eyes not so long ago, a few months in his eyes, Shaun, the gift Nora gave him was now somekind of monster and he didn’t resolve that situation yet , not even a year later he find a new romance and it feels…awfull…Nora was the love of his life and having a growing feeling for another person so…fast…really messed up with his head in guilt and desesperation.

It wasn’t loneliness, Nate managed that well, fighting and looking and learning and doing everything to survive and found Saun, it was something else, he was convinced it was pure love, the kind of love you don’t expect to happened and it just too perfect how it became true. Never think himself with a man and…one day he cant stop thinking on how much he missed just walking with Danse.

The Paladin was great, intelligent, strong, resistant, had a great determination to work…Nate appreciated how the man wasn’t a burden, they were at the same level, he did care and worry about Danse but clearly the Paladin was strong and smart, and that was so reliefing considering how difficult and aggressive his…schedule is day by day.

Some other days, when they were together, Nate found himself looking at Danse and thinking on how handsome it was, even when he never looked a man like that.

Of course, he would confess in another moment, more appropriate for both, but he was happy it happened anyway, and that Danse accepted his feelings in such a personal moment. Clearly the man was willing to make a new life now that his previous one was flipped up.

-You are taking buffout now to be more strong and carry more junk

-Well I want to repair my power-armor and i need this aluminium so…

-Let me carry it! I can help you! Offered you many times!

-What? No way! Im not gonna bother you with this cans, it wouldn’t be appropriate, besides you talk like I have a problem with chems

-You do have a problem with chems

-Im so sorry for being the druggie boyfriend –Danse rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed- come on! Its only for practical purposes! I don’t do mentats for example! That ones are for loosers that cant talk to a girl!

It was true, Nate only takes chems for certains situations, like a fight, or to escape from a situation, to avoid radiation and be stronger, to have more endurance…to carry more weight…

-Well you don’t need them! None of this crap!

-Hey when I get addicted as soon as I can we go to a doctor to fix it, even in the Brotherhood it was normal to do chems according to Knight Cade

-Well it wasn’t exactly a good thing for him to make you know that…

-Why?

-If people thinks that doing chems is normal and not that bad it would cost personal and resources to the Brotherhood, interfiering with the day by day chores…

-Come on even at the Institute they do chems, once even pay me with it–Danse looked at him bad- Look I was in the military too, before you small youngling –the man laughted, loved when Nate do that joke about their ages- we didn’t do drugs back then, there where a lot of test anti-dopping and the consequences for being positive where so severe –Oh no, the pond of memorys was always a down for Nate, but he constantly will be remembering old memories…it didn’t past that much for him after all- I left drugs at early age, when I enter the military, because I was a very patriot man with a lot of sense of responsibility in the army and…I take chems here…in the commonwealth…after the appocalipse –Nate bit his lip, feeling a bitter taste coming from that subject…

-Im worried about you, I know that not being open to the subject is a mistake because humans have natural tools to process drugs, it’s a very natural thing, but once you killed a granny by giving her the chems she was asking –once Danse mentioned that about Mama Murphy a hand went to cover his face, he often tries to forget that episode.

-I was desesperate for answers and that woman was right about everything…-by that time, he was in the search of Kellogg. Of course it wasn’t a necessary sacrifice, it was something he would like to forget for the rest of his life and his mind wouldn’t let him, an error, a terrible error, paid with the life of a woman that only helped him, it was a dark chapter for him.

-Im not judging you, just to remind you on first hand how this stuff is, even the ghoul mayor friend of yours do concern

-You know, back there, when I was young in the university we had this stuff that was white dust…-Danse looked at him bad, again, clearly tired of the subject- again babe, sorry for being the dopped boyfriend –the ex-Paladin started to walk away from that useless attempt to save his boyfriend health, and Nate followed him, getting on front and hugging him by the neck, the height differences between them when one was with the power armor and the other not were huge, but still he managed to hug him and make the ex-Paladin stop on his runaway-heyhey…do I tell you enought how much I love your hair? –Nate started to caress his perfect black and shiny Pompadour.

-Gosh you are high –despite being annoyed, he liked the feeling of his hands over his scalp

-Buffout doesn’t cause allucinations or a state of conscious, this thing is back from my days small youngling, I fucking meant what I say about your hair –Nate laughted at see him blush –im so relieved that you didn’t find yet where I hid that awfull hat…

-I swear to you if this nonsense of hiding my cap continues any longer…

-Come on is just a hat not a helmet, I refuse to spend another day without that perfect hairstyle –he didn’t remember being this happy, this dreamy talking, this overjoyed with just being around someone you love  before…that broadcast on the television before everything change forever.

Turning a man who always considered himself straight to bi was a challenge, it started with feelings, definitely some feelings, their connection was so natural and the air betweem them was so confortable that a…flirting joke not so joke would pass away…right? But when Danse reacted so cute to that…confession not confession it definetly turned down the table for him.

And them at each encounter Danse looked more and more and more handsome, despite not changing anything about his aspect, and not even pass many hours between the last time they see each other.

God he fall in love so hard.

Danse smiled with tenderness –Lets reach Jamaica Plain to fix that power armor, I don’t like being out of the settlement, this is the area of the gunner brigadiers and theres a lot around this settlement, we only went out because you said you were…out of trash…

-Well not a lot of caravans move to this sides…so I cant be…out of cash –Danse silly laughted, and Nate had a bright smile after seeing him enjoy that joke –speaking of which we can make a little stop before going to the settlement to…-that silence give Danse al the information he needed

-What? Absolutely not

-Why not? I can show you how im not affected at all

-If you take buffout the effect is going to last for 3 days at least, just like any other druggie you cant keep it hard the whole thing –Nate now feeled insulted, especially when Danse started to walk away faster

-Well I can still suck you dick to make you cum! –how dare Danse speak to him about that, damn switch.

-Then you will be unable to cum because of the chems and spend all that grumpy –when the ex-Paladin make that statement, Nate turned ashamed, yep, it was true, not gonna lie –Also I don’t like the sex with you being high, is like…taking advantage…

Oh…sweet boy…well of course it was like that but he had full confidence in Danse and allowed him to do that in that circunstances, also he enjoyed the overstimulation caused by some chems…like jet…and never practiced before in sex…

Nate took his big metal armored hand, walking with him.

-You win, don’t worry about me, I know what im doing…

-Every druggie says that –says Dance with a really dark voice.

Nate was a first hand fighther since the day he trow rockets, misils, fatmans and granades like crazy after finding a Behemot by accident sleeping in a lake in the middle of Boston, that day, he won a super weapon, a weapon that Danse considered an abomination but…god dammit Nate loved it. The GRA was a robot arm with a piece of concrete and some bars attached, really really poor desing, obviously improvised and not secure at all but god damn it hitted well.

Danse see how Nate exploded supermutants heads with just that fist, it was crazy how the weight of a piece of concrete was so dense and barbaric…

And it worked.

But because of that Nate take a lot of chems, Jet, Psyco, Buffout, Med-X, Stempacks, he needed the adrenaline to lift that weapon, he needed his muscles to forget how to set an alarm of “hey this is so much more than we can handle”, he needed his spine to work much more than its limitations, he needed the inhibition to go forward his target and kill it at once.

It was destructive, for Nate and everyone in front of him defying him.

Yeah, it was an effective weapon, but at what cost.

It was crazy how that thinn man in a vault suit, with just a military armor scavenged from gunner brigadiers and military ghouls goes all high straight up to battle with a fucking concrete fist and wins.

I mean Danse didn’t discuss the results but…

It was dangerous, extremely dangerous, god he now gets something important in his life and despite being…indestructible at sight…it was so scary, Nate moved in such a scary way that it makes him comtemplate all the possible ways of dying horrible, it makes Danse stomach falls to the ground everytime he sees Nate pulling out that damn fist.

How can a piece of concrete can be more trilling than a laser rifle? Nate managed to do that work.

At least ghouls didn’t have a chance.

The vault suited man can receive a hit by a supermutant hammer and not being annoyed at all.

A fucking Deathclaw can throw him into the ground like a kid with a toy and if he is in Psyco it would just shake his head a bit and nothing more.

Raiders with a minigun? No problem, some Med-X and gotta gofastfastgaster to the objective and blow up his brain.

Gosh so risky.

Still, so brave.

And full of energy, and anger, agony, desire of vengeance and resentment.

A lot of negative emotions drive Nate to fist supermutant in the face and make it explode.

Making it something that really amazed Danse.

Nate was a dangerous man, that will do everything to complete his goals, but he didn’t feel threatened by him.

But such a strong determination make Danse the chance to develop more deeping feelings than just admiration…

When Nate flirted with him the first time and Danse responded that he was surprised but he would take the time to think about it…he meant it serious.

But yeah, the vault suited man sometimes get on his nerves, he was still, to rigid from what he was told his entire existence, about rules and things worked in the Brotherhood. It was a process, a transformation, he often correct himself to say things he would say…if he was still in the Brotherhood…better left that chapter go slowly…

-To make you the point that im not so ruined like a raider I tell you something, when I was in the military I saved enough money for my wife to not work, have a baby and be at home with our newborn for a lot of time, as I was retired like a veteran, and despite having all that money I didn’t do drugs, god, there was money in this country, so much money, so much growing and progress…-despite that anecdotes weren’t a reliave font of data for a search or manuscript, it was so interesting hearing Nate talk about Pre-War, obviously Danse had a lot of Brotherhood transcripted data with their vision of the world still, but it was pretty similar with Nate point of view of how he lived that ages.

-Don’t worry, ill cover your ass when your agility is compromised by some chem and take you to the closest doctor as possible

-Love you, althought im the one that cover your ass if you know what I mean…-and Danse hits on his head with his laser rifle, god, buffouts doesn’t really makes you high?

-You are unbereable like this.

-Leave it all to the chemmy boyfriend

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14226433/1/Addicted-to-Chems

[gibbearish]

actually i think a big part of the issue im having figuring myself out is just. fear of how others will react

[i-cant-sing]

Hello! :D Your Yandere EraserMics are so good! Can I request them with a shy, short and easily flustered darling? Would they tease her and make her blush? What about her height, I feel like they might enjoy it just a tad xD Thank you so much! :3

Yandere Erasermic w/ an easily flustered darling

*gasps* huh???? Did I just post something that's not Todoroki Clan related????

Lol anyways enjoy!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Erasermic:

You're just so cute.

They can't help it, honestly.

Your height was one of the first things that attracted them towards you. You were just so small, and you looked so scared when that villian tried to attack you. And you were just so adorable when you rambled out thanks and apologies when the duo saved you.

You were so shy when they offered to take you to a nearby cafe, to calm you down. When Hizashi took your hand to pull you towards the cafe, he almost awed at how small and soft your hands were. And when Aizawa paid for your coffee, he couldn't explain the warm feeling that spread through his heart when you blushed and thanked him.

You are so naive. Too innocent and so pure for the harsh world. They knew they had to keep a close eye on you when they saw you near tears when a customer yelled at you. Aizawa would often have to hold Hizashi back from snatching you in his arms. There will be a time for that later, Shouta would remind him.

And it was just so easy for them to convince you to be a part of their lives. Well, they just took you home one day and confessed their love. There wasn't much you could do about it except cry and thrash, but come on, its pro heroes we're talking about.

Of course, it was hard at first. You were too shy to admit your feelings for them. So they were understanding when you would reject them and cried yourself to sleep. You would exhaust yourself like that, poor thing.

But with patience and unspoken threats, you were finally coming around. And they couldn't have been happier. They spoil you, treat you like royalty, drown you in affection. Its what you deserve.

Of the two, Hizashi was the more vocal and physical one. He'd compliment you every single day, and kiss you so passionately that it always left you breathless.

Although Aizawa wasn't that eager to show his love for you in public, the moment he gets in the privacy of his home, he turns into a completely different person. He'll say such things and touch you in such ways that it was comical how quick you turned beet red.

Hizashi just loves to wake you up each morning by kissing your eyes and nuzzling his nose with yours. He chuckled at how you would blush and try to hide yourself under the blankets.

Aizawa derived great pleasure from  slapping your perfect little butt each morning when you're making breakfast, making you yelp and pout in faux anger, eyebrows furrowed as you try to stop your cheeks from turning pink.

They enjoyed flustering you up. Sometimes Hizashi would say something so cheesy, or maybe Aizawa would whisper something so vulgar in your ears, your eyes would grow wide and your face flushes and you slap their chest, and try to run away from them.

They loved how short you were compared to them. Perfectly small for them to trap engulf you.

You hated how quite Aizawa was. He liked to sneak up on you, just so to make you squeak when you noticed him. And when you would get mad at him, Aizawa liked to pull your soft, little pliant body to him and tickle you until you forgive him. They both cherished your smiles and giggles.

Hizashi loved cooking, but he loved cooking with you even more. And by cooking, he means heaving you up on the kitchen counter as he makes you taste whatever he's making. He claims you're his little sous chef, his little helper, but when he asks you to get something from the top shelf you can't reach, its Hizashi who liked to pull your body against his chest as he reached out for the bottle, giving you bum a hard squeeze, kissing you as a thanks.

They wont admit it, but sometimes, they would purposefully make you mad at them. You’re just so hot when you’re angry. your nostrils flared, lips in an angry pout, your eyes holding fury, an emotion completely opposite to your cute, little red face. Its infuriating when they would make fun of you in that state, Aizawa more often than not, would pull your bottom lip from your teeth, while Hizashi would treat you like some tantrum throwing child.

Sometimes you'd be having bad days. You don't really say anything but they know what you're thinking about. They know that you miss your old life, and they're not mad because they know that you can't help it. On days like that, you want to be left alone. But thats not an option, not with them. No, Hizashi will gather you in his arms and sit on the couch with you in his lap. Aizawa will scoot next to you both, placing an arm around Hizashi's shoulder as he caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. If you manage to break out of their grasps, Aizawa will use his scarf and pull you back to them. And then when you start crying, not being able to hold your tears in anymore, they'll whisper reassurances and pepper your face with kisses.

They loved to cuddle in the bed with you, their legs entangled with yours, effectively trapping you in the center, your face towards Aizawa's. And when you look into his eyes, all you find is that they're full of love and devotion and obsession. He likes to tell you how much he loves you, how lucky they are to have you in their life. And when you are at a loss for words, and your face grows warm, and tears prick the corner of your eyes because you just don't understand how can anyone be so in love? Hizashi will nuzzle into your neck as he coos in your ear about what an adorable, little angel you are, how you’re better than all the luxuries in the world. And then they'll laugh when you hide your face in Aizawa's chest, their chests flooding with warmth at your cuteness.

So precious.

They love it when they're in the bathtub and they sit you in between them. Your back to Aizawa's chest and Hizashi looking at the both of you in pure adoration from the other side of the tub. Aizawa's kissing your neck, leaving love bites here and there, while Hizashi massages the sole of your foot or presses soft kisses to your palms. They love how you avoid eye contact with them, but then peak at them from your lashes and your cheeks turn pink.

You're just so endearing.

It didn't help that all of your reactions were brutally honest. It didn't help that you unconsciously expressed all of your emotions. You can try all you want, but you cant stop the way your heart skips beat, or the way blood rushed to your cheeks when they give you simple compliments, or touch you in a not so innocent way.

It all but motivates them to squeeze some more sinful noises out of you.

[introloves]

idk what this is! but have it anyway :3

— mutual masturbation + pining + friends to lovers + male masturbation + male p.o.v + omg they were roommatesss trope once again + feelings of guilt + hand job + aone masturbates to the thought of you <3 + mentions of unrequited feelings (or so he thinks >:)) + f! reader

— word count ; approx 1.9k

aone doesn’t know how his thoughts always trace back to you.

when he’s alone, you’re always on his mind. it’s curiosity, he thinks to himself, you’re such good friends that it’s all curiosity, it’s natural to wonder what your friend is doing late at night. wondering if you’re content and asleep.

but friends dont think of eachother in the way aone thinks about you.

— when he’s alone, he thinks of your body, your lips, he thinks of how your small hands would look wrapped around his dick.

it’s all he can do, he’s too shy to do anything about the way you make him feel. so he sits by himself, and wonders, he dreams about you.

he wonders if you touch yourself.

it’s dirty and disgusting of him to think about you that way, but it’s a secret he’s harbored for a long time.

he wonders how you would feel under him, he wonders what your pussy looks like, he wonders what it’s heat would feel like, sucking his cock in deep.

you have him wrapped around your finger and you don’t even know, you don’t know how much he wants to stuff you full with his cum.

it’s a secret he swears he’ll carry forever, it’s never going to leave the confines of his room or head, but it’s not all unbridled lust that as him attracted to you.

its your laugh, the way you look when you’re fighting off futakuchi for saying something, or how shy you look when you’re looking up at him, lips curled up in a smile, your hand coming up to brush a stray hair from your face.

once again he focuses on your hand, he wonders if your short little fingers are enough to bring you any pleasure when you’re alone. he knows that his fingers could do so much better, he wants to stuff you full with just them, prepping you for a cock he knows is almost monsterous in size, but in his fantasies you’re begging for even more of him.

it’s all too much for aone, he’s dizzy when he blinks and sees his cock in his hand. he’s embarrassingly hard. against his pale skin, the throbbing of blood in his cock paints a painful hue of red and almost purple splotches all over it, the angry colors concentrate on his head that’s weeping with precum.

this happens every night, somehow his thoughts loop back to you and then he’s fucking his fist, biting back moans because even though you’re his friend... you’re also his roommate...

maybe that’s why you’re always on his mind, living in such close proximity with someone, it’s bound to happen, right?

he wants to laugh because he knows the answer to that.

there’s guilt etched in the very being that he is when he’s panting your name, shaping your name into the night.

he shivers at a particularly nice pull of his fist over himself, the build up is fast, he knows that with every slap of his palm against his pelvis, the higher the chance of you to catch him like this.

it’s thrilling, the idea of you walking into his room, to ask him... something, anything, and seeing how he’s leaning against the headboard, thighs splayed out, almost glistening with the moonlight.

he likes thinking that you’d clench at the sight of him, hands reaching down to tug that oversized shirt you wear to bed down, covering those tiny shorts that he loves- lusts over. he wants to pull those to the side and have a peak at what’s underneath.

his hips cant up at the thought, he hisses out into the stagnant air. he cant stop the rumbling of his groans as he lets your name tumble past, louder than intended.

he stops everything to listen, making sure you haven’t woken up, or heard the way his bed was groaning at the thrusts of his hips.

he swallows tensely, a hand coming up to run through his short hair.

aones so caught up with himself that doesn’t hear the soft padding of your feet walking towards his door.

you’re still warm with sleep, but after hearing the soft noises coming from his room, you rub the drowsiness out of your eyes and make your way to him, checking to see if he’s okay.

your pulse quickens as you reach it, the only light that’s present is the one filtering in from the moon, everything else is doused in a pitch black.

if he’s hurt then you’re screwed, having someone like him as a roommate makes you feel secure, he’s like a never ending beacon of safety and you’re not sure what else could be the cause of what sounds like pained gasping.

you reach out and push the already ajar door open slightly.

your eyes widen immediately, hand coming up to cup your gasping mouth.

you should turn away, you should close your eyes, you should do something other than just standing there gawking. but that shock turns into something hot and heavy, it’s almost suffocating in how much it turns you on, seeing aone like that.

his head is thrown back, thick neck prominent with veins and you can see he’s sweating. you look down to where his hand is pumping himself roughly, it looks like it hurts, looks like he’s doing that with the sole intent to cum, and not to enjoy it.

you’re almost panting, seeing him like this for the first time, you have a white-knuckled grip on your shirt, while your hand is still clamped firmly around your mouth, the only time you move your eyes from his dick is when you notice his movements have stopped.

your eyes flutter back to his face, and you nearly trip backwards when you make eye contact with him.

he looks like he’s ready to run, his expression mirrors your own, he can’t think of anything other than the pure mortification of you seeing him.

this is all so wrong, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen- no, it was never supposed to happen. he was going to keep to himself and let you go.

there’s an error between his mind and actions, he thinks that he should cover up and immediately offer you his apologies, explain to you that he gets a wild need at night, nothing more.

but finally seeing you and not the you he’s created in his head gives his cock a twitch, it’s embarrassing how violent it is, the pulse of him watching you. he squeezes, hard, to keep from cumming. his upper body coming forward, in a feeble attempt to shield himself from you, and the only thing he can do is spit out a,

“sorry.”

it’s a pathetic rumble of words, aone should be offering himself to you, no wait- begging for you to turn around and leave, but in that moment it’s all he can do, so dangerously close.

it’s all been a crazy night, because when you step closer to him, he can hardly believe it.

you’re soft when you finally make his way to him, a hand just barely there- but warm against the milky skin on his back.

your knee is right next to him, he realizes, gulping when the weight of you is transferred onto his bed.

you’re right there, he can feel your body heat, it’s so nice.

he doesn’t know what to do when you finally break the heavy silence.

“i can help you.”

it’s nothing more than a whisper, words that hold more weight than they should, and yet you offer yourself to him.

it gets him to look at you, those intense eyes that you know so well look so pleading. in favor to save the jumping of your heart at the way he looks at you, you look down at the heavy dick still hard in his hand.

“can i touch you.” you inquire, still not brave enough to say it louder than just a small whisper.

he’s almost ashamed to admit the fact that you’d be the first, it builds already on the weight of his turmoil thus far.

but aone knows he wants it.

he keeps his eyes on you, letting them roam your body and how you’re really, actually here with him, looking at him with hungry eyes.

he moves his hand, and he’s so hard that his dick doesn’t fall.

he hates how eager he is to have you actually touch him, hates how well the picture of you touching him matches with the real you, just like in his head, your fingers barely touch eachother while you take him in your small hand.

he’s wet already, even wetter with the beads of precum that are rolling down his shaft, it makes your job easy.

“do you do this every night?” you ask, thighs clamping together because the weight of him feels so good in your hand, he’s so big.

he nods, sucking in breath after breath while you twist your hand over his swollen head.

he didn’t even do that, he didn’t know touching himself like that would feel so good.

he’s so receptive, so good in how you can feel the small rocking of his hips up into your hand.

it makes you travel on of your own into your sleeping shorts.

the sound of your fingers slipping messily over your obviously wet pussy has aone staring. he looks, looks at your hand and the movement underneath your covering.

he swears at that, there’s a loud ringing in his ears while you pump him.

“what do you think about?” your voice is wrecked, whiny and high strung. he thinks you sound beautiful.

“you.”

it’s too much, too much, too much.

you’re swollen and the confession he just gave you goes right to your cunt, there’s a moan that seeps out of you, and aone realizes that you’re cumming.

you shake while you continue on, tugging at him with the same desperation he had while you walked in, you want to see him come undone, you know the wield for him is going to be so good, you can almost taste it.

aone doesn’t think he’s ever been so lucky, so deserving, to marvel at the beauty that is you while you’re mid orgasm.

it was enough when you walked in and saw him, but now that you’re touching him and he can feel you with the shake of the bed, it has him wrecked.

his hands are digging into his thighs, just a little more of the pressure against them he might actually break skin.

he doesn’t ask your permission to touch you, but does so anyway, he clasps a hand over the one weakly working at him, guiding you so it’s just how he likes it.

there’s so much cum, the force of it has where you’re touching him covered, even with his hand over yours, it paints your own white, landing on his tensing stomach.

you don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so attractive.

you both sit there in a sort of daze, not sure how to process what happened, there’s a heavy pause when you touch base with reality.

and while aone has always held back, walked cautiously like he’s been advised his whole life because of his stature and face, he decides to be openly greedy and selfish.

aone grabs you, his eyes looking for you and kisses you hard.

he thinks that if there’s any part of his life where he’d break the many rules he’s set for himself, he’s going to say, “fuck it all” with you.

and just like the many times previously during the night, he thinks he’s dreaming when you kiss him back with the same intensity.

[littlx-songbxrd]

Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

[nako-doodles]

Can I just rant real quick for a second? I really really disagree with the way western media portrays their whole ‘ARMYs are mad that BTS didn’t win a Grammy’ narrative. Like, I don’t think anyone is mad that the boys didn’t win per se.

ARMYs are some of the most empathetic people out there, and we understand that the other nominated artists worked just as hard to their best ability. We don’t want to bash anyone, nor do we believe that BTS is entitled to a win just because they’re nominated. Yes of course, we as fans think that our artists deserve it the most, but so do Lady Gaga’s fans, Justin Bieber’s fans, Taylor Swift’s fans... you get the idea.

Instead of the fact THAT, what we have a problem with is HOW BTS did not win.

Just take for example the whole performance line up: BTS was the last act to perform, right before the biggest award of the night was announced. Now, we know this from the MAMAs, MMAs, basically all the Asian award shows as well, BTS always gets the last slate. Which, yes you can argue that is is also for clout because they know that BTS attract the biggest audience. And that’s true, but it also makes sense: you want to honor the biggest act, the highlight of the evening by giving them the biggest slot. So naturally, it would go to BTS who just won one award after another during the entire show. In other words, it’s the performance slot for the best of the best.

Now, the Grammys aren’t dumb, they also know that having BTS perform will attract huge attention from ARMYs worldwide. And up to this point that’s also completely fine, have them perform during the show, like so many other artists. But setting them up to perform right at the end for the sole reason that they want the keep ARMYs glued to their TV screens, because they know we will turn it off afterwards!? And it HAS to be the sole reason, since it’s obviously not because they recognize BTS as the greatest act of the night, otherwise they would have gotten that award.

That is what’s so shady about the whole thing. And that is why we’re mad. And it’s not like we’re making this up, either, just because we’re sore losers: how many big celebrities have already come forward with these exact allegations? I remember Eminem in an interview from a couple years ago accusing the recording academy of that exact thing: using artists for clout, inviting them, even hinting on the invitation that they will win the award when in reality all they want is to put that famous name on their content in order to generate views.

Also, just on a side not: Trevor Noah’s comment after the performance? How incredible it is that BTS re-built the whole Grammy set in South Korea and there should be an award for that? ... say, for example, I don’t know, maybe an award for a great performance? Like, maybe even the BEST POP DUO/ GROUP PERFORMANCE - I mean I’m sure, he wasn’t mocking the boys or anything and he was genuinely enjoying their performance, but c’mon dude, read the room.

Anyway, sorry for the literal essay, I’m just so sick and tired of being portrayed as an entitled boy group stan who’s salty that their celebrity crush lost an award. Because that is not how it is, and it’s so frustrating to explain that.

tldr; yoongi hun i love you but cant you wish for something different? pandering to a bunch of wonder bread crumbles gathering dust on the floor is below you, legend.

honestly everything about the Grammys is shady as fuck. they really wrung every last drop of BTS’ influence in the run up to the show, nominated them for an award that makes a mockery of BTS’ musicality and stage performance, placed them at the end bc they KNOW viewership is gonna nosedive after their performance, cut their song short, cut their video short, make them stay up at witching hour for half a second of tv appearance, and then what? not give them the award? for no understandable reason? bts outsold outperformed out influenced all the other songs on the list? what even is the criteria? how much fucking mashed potato bleached white flour is running in your veins? how much you wanna dance to cotton eye joe??? and even shadier this isnt even the first time they've done it to BTS. this is the THIRD FUCKING TIME. and they've shaded a TON of incredible POC artists over the years INCLUDING THIS YEAR like scammys.....you gotta try harder than putting a 3 sec disclaimer of ‘we arent racist xoxo enjoy the show.’ you KNOW youre fucking doing it wrong when youre losing a morality and transparency issue to a weekly music broadcasting show.

and you know what the kicker is? joon literally said ‘i told you’ almost as soon as the results came in. AND THEN bts literally proceeded to act on a level of professionalism and grace that really the so called most prestigious music award show organizers and the rest of western music industry should take notes on. mad props to bts for not losing their shit. i literally have so much fucking respect for them holy shit. 

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I'm pretty convinced they fooled around a bit, like the wanking circles and told themselves 'we just have a bit of fun with each other but it's not like we're gay.' John realised he was in love and somehow got the idea that Paul didn't return those feelings and so the relationship crumbled. Paul seems to regret not being more expressive and open with how he much he loved John.

Whilst I do believe overall that the most likely explanation is that John loved Paul, but Paul being straight didn’t love him back (not sure whether or not I believe John ever admitted to his attraction though, thats harder to say) there are times where I do think to myself that its pretty possible that they fooled around a bit when they were drunk or high or something - sometimes I even think it’d be the explanation that makes the most sense in relation to the deterioration of their relationship. It does feel like a lot of the time, that there was something transcending the emotional aspects of their relationship that ultimately led to an intense and strenuous breakup. Like it feels as though there must be more then just jealousy due to unrequited physical love. Physicality in a relationship I would argue brings a lot more complications to the emotional aspects, whereas keeping a relationship as solely emotional can keep it simpler (sometimes). Does that make sense? Like, you cant separate sex and emotion - sex complicates stuff, and we know they had a very, veryyyyyy complicated relationship. So it would explain some stuff.

I guess the problem with believing that they did fool around together though is that it is mostly speculation (but if you or anyone else wants to send me some reasons why you think it is convincing though, dont be shy to cause id be interested in hearing them!).

Whereas, with the one-sided, ‘John was in love with Paul’ theory, I think there’s a lot of rationality to it because there’s just so many quotes and stories and stuff that, to me, just don’t make a lot of sense when we view them through a heterosexual lens. I know that im alwayyyyyyssss mentioning this, and everyone must be sick of me bringing it up all the time, but John frantically marrying Yoko after finding out Paul married Linda just seems sooooooooo gay to me haha.

And I just think that exemplifies what im getting at here: that with Johns sexuality, theres a lot of reason to believe that he wasnt 100% straight, and theres also a lot of reason to believe he was attracted to Paul. But with Paul, as far as I can tell, there isnt so much reason to believe the same (again, feel free to drop me another message telling me why you think im wrong on that!)

Assuming that there was some physicality to their relationship though, I think it would be a casual thing (like the wanking circles), and probably they’d be drunk/on drugs when it happened. Not sure how often I think it would have happened, and im not sure how far I think they would’ve taken it, but yeah, assuming they did fool around I think it ultimately would’ve taken a toll on John, because he needed a wholly committed partner.

Paul does appear to regret not being more open with John, because I think you can hear him expressing that regret in songs like ‘Here Today’ and ‘This One’ etc. So maybe that gives more credence to the ‘they fooled around but then John wanted more and Paul wanted to keep it casual and “not gay”’ theory (?) but also, I think its true that Paul does regret not telling John he loved him more often (platonically or romantically) because John died such an abrupt death. Like at least with George they had time to sit down and actually forgive each other, and really bury the hatchet - I know John and Paul did end on a pretty good note with one another, but still, there must be a million things he regrets not telling him.

TL;DR I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that they fooled around a bit, and it does make sense to me (especially in explaining the intensity of the breakup), but im not totally convinced of it either because at the end of the day it feels more like speculation. Like id need more evidence to really get on board with it.

[mattelektras]

I want to know why you didn't like Jessica having a baby? I really don't have an opinion on it because I don't really know the character but maybe it wasn't a good idea to make her a mom.

personally baby stories are almost always a hard no for me like. its just not something that even slightly appeals to me probably because of my irl feelings towards it so thats kind of a me problem. pregnancy creeps me the fuck out physically and theoretically n it always has so i'll try to be objective here

just. why. literally why. what does it add to her as a person who has never shown any interest in having a family and even if they were, ISNT in the position to have one.

why would a woman who goes out every night to fight crime, possible be beaten up a little (miscarriages dont exist) have god knows what happen to them, possibly DIE without anyone knowing, want a kid????? ive seen people explain it with regards to when she was abducted by skrulls and she thought no one cared or noticed she was missing and she just wants someone to need her. and its like. oh thats healthy is it. for her to literally have a whole human depend on her. jess has trauma from so many things and has always been a character whose mental experiences impact her stories and they did not play into this at all. the baby cured all of her issues. thank you so much that does so much for women as a whole. have a baby that'll fix it

the covers were just.... uncomfortable none of these people have ever seen or spoken to a pregnant woman before

your spine queen???? if she straightened up her torso would be like 3 miles long

every cover's only purpose is to exaggerate the stomach like maybe this is my baby allergies again but it feels kind of. fetishy. u know freaks on the internet had a great time w these

how is she this far along and still not wearing maternity clothes like thats not comfortable. i find it hard to believe any pregnant person would just continue wearing normal clothes that visibly dont fit and expose half their stomach

people change when theyre pregnant!!!! ur face gets chubby!!! your boobs get huge!!! all of you gets bloated and u feel gross!!! other than the stomach there is literally NOTHING different about jess. she still has a beautiful face, skinny legs etc etc. which i feel kind of feeds into the fetishy vibe of it all. like they made sure we all know she's still attractive and skinny and sexually appealing. shes got other stuff going on right now. shes growing a whole human. shes not gonna fuck you.

IN ADDITION. the run where it happened, was the run/s that started with the notoriously vile milo manara doing this variant cover

so as a whole i find it hard to believe the creative team would ever be trying to make a point about how pregnant women are strong as fuck and can do shit whilst going through such huge bodily changes. we have to know she's fuckable first and foremost. like yeah of course pregnant women can be sexy but theres a fine line between shes hot!! and whatever the covers for this run were doing. especially when the interior was so adverse to the variants. javier rodriguez is a great artist who depicts women very realistically so what the fuck happened here i genuinely couldnt tell you. the cover is what people see first so to make sure thats sexualised to high heaven says a lot about the motives here. the whole thing started with greg fucking land who is famous for the exact opposite of child bearing hips

and just again on the impracticalities of it all.... she literally gave birth and got up straight away and fought skrulls. absolutely no shot in any universe thats physically possible. infections???? needing stitches??? exhaustion???? honestly marvel writes shit i dont like personally all the time but if they do research and speak to people who k ow what theyre talking about then i cant be mad but this is exactly the opposite. youre telling me there were NO writers who had experience with pregnancy or had experienced it themselves who you could even SPEAK to or ask a question???? it had to be dennis fucking hopeless??? of avengers arena???? THAT dennis hopeless??

tl;dr female superheroes do not exist to have babies solely for drama purposes. the big mystery isnt who the father is. even if she were a character that a baby makes sense for, it literally doesnt matter. the father isnt around. women having kids doesnt revolve around who the father is. it was a deliberate sales gimmick that pretty much just said that the real point of this woman's story is to find out which man impregnated her

[searchingforbucky]

FIC RECS (Part 5) :)

Okay we are going to try this again lol. I hope I got everyone I was intending to!This one is LONG so buckle up babes. 

The request was for Cop!Bucky fics, by anonymous. Now I am SO excited to share this list because Cop Bucky is my top 2 favorite AU’s and actually the first AU I ever read for Bucky. So its incredibly close to my heart, and so are these fics. I hope everyone enjoys! :) (I start with Series, then go to One-Shots) 💖💕💗💓

In the Arms of Justice by @avengerofyourheart

Okay, this was actually the first full Cop!Bucky fic I ever read and let me tell you, it was an amazing bridge into what is now an unhealthy obsession lol. This fic is so well done. I love the way Anika plays with details in her stories. Every word has you hanging on, no stone is left unturned, no detail forgotten. This one, especially if you go back and read it a second time, you see all of the tiny foreshadowing she does. Its such a good mysterious fic. Its absolutely amazing the Protective/Soft Bucky on top of that is the best ever. Please read it twice to be able to fully realize the beauty.

Heart & Soul by @all1e23

This one is an ABO fic, and oh man is it good. This fic is just so heartbreakingly beautiful. Allie is dedicated, in all of their stories, to being as truthful to true human experiences and this is just another example. The emotion is so real and painful and I can somehow picture to all of these experiences even though I’ve never had them myself, solely because of the way they write. This is a story about trauma, trust, loyalty, and personal strength. Theres murder mystery and fluff all in  a lovely package.  The relationships between her and every one of the characters is so well drawn out, its just such a heartwarming fic.

The Witness by @wkemeup

Words tend to evade me when I try to explain my love for this fic, but I need I need to make sure its recognized. Bucky is soft and just wants the reader to be safe, the reader is self sufficient and headstrong. My favorite pairing. This story is honestly something that changed the way I read Bucky fics. It was the first story of hers I have ever read, and never have I gotten more lost in a story than this. Before this, I would mainly focus on dialogue of a story, and other important bits. This was so beautifully done, and packed with detail and emotion in the smallest sentences I made sure I didn’t miss a single thing. Also, the way she writes the aftermath in her Drabble/epilogue are so truthful to life and recovery. Ugh, just an amazing read.

Deception by @revengingbarnes 

This story is unlike the others I’ve read before. I LOVE undercover fics, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of the time they are set in this perfect world with no repercussions. This fic is so damn raw and honest and real. It shows the pain and aftermath that is unavoidable from situations like these, the emotion from Bucky and the Reader seeps through every word making it impossible not to get invested into them and their love. Not everything in life is perfect, there isn’t always that one happy ending, and this fic shows that. There is bumps and bruises and you won’t know whats coming until it happens but thats what makes it beautiful. 

Seven Thirty by @nacho-bucky 

So this one is absolutely the cutest thing ever. Its technically a cop!bucky but its not like the main factor in the story, but Im including it anyways because its too amazing to not! This has UNCLE BUCKY, oh my god thats my favorite soft Bucky trope and its done again here so well. Bucky is needs help with a kid, she works with kids, what could go wrong??? Nothing! Because this is a story of two awkwardly adorable individuals being roped into the cutest relationship ever by a sneaky little girl. This story is Witten so well, every detail paints the best picture of utter domesticity and love and I cannot get over it. Especially the little drabbles accompanying it? Be still my heart. 

Ride With Me by @jurassicbarnes 

Now this one is a treat, we’ve got Cop!Bucky and Biker!Reader (whaaaat?? Biker reader??) Yes! So unique right? And its so well done too. This is about the cutest thing because you have no gender stereotypes whoop whoop! You have soft shy Bucky (who tries so hard to hide it, oh my love), and a badass reader! Its so unique and absolutely adorable. I feel like this needs to be made into a romance movie, I would watch the hell out of it. Its like perfect YA romance I'm telling you! Opposites attract and lead to a work of art in disguise as a Bucky Fanfic. Also, I want Natasha to be my Best Friend :( 

Sweet as Cinnamon by @propertyofpoeandbucky 

It wouldn’t be a proper Cop!Bucky list without some Chubby Bucky! In there! Now, wanna know who’s sweet as cinnamon? Bucky Barnes in this fic (more like a compilation of one-shots). We have a single dad, divorced, insecure, chubby Bucky, and we all know what that leads to? Me in an absolute puddle of love and fluff. The relationship he has with the reader and his daughter are the most pure things I’ve ever been lucky enough to read. I love sneaky kids man, and oh does he have one! All of Leilanis fics are so good, but something about this Universe really just sticks in my heart. Amazingly well written, 10/10 would read every single one again. 

Good Cop, Bad Cop by @cametobuyplums 

Okay, another thing that makes this list complete? A smutty fic (again more of a compilation of one shots). This fic is damn good. Its kinda like SAC in the way of Bucky is a single, insecure, divorced, chubby father. But plot twist! Reader is a young sexy police chief that just wants her man, Bucky. Let the fun ensue! No seriously though, besides the smut, this series is incredibly well done. You wouldn’t expect many heartfelt moments in a fic like tis, but thats the beauty of it. I love reading stories where Bucky just gets loved up and fights his insecurities. If you like reading smut, I guarantee you will love this fic!

Sunshine by @thottybarnes 

Let me squeal about this one real quick. I just recently read it and I LOVED it. Honestly any story that has beefy Bucky is always gonna be a good one for me, but beefy Bucky AND soft, baby fever having Bucky? Oh my heart cant take it. This fic is absolutely adorable. I love how fun and light hearted it is, and the details they put in the background are to die for. Such a good fic if you want fluff, and Cop!Bucky all in one fantastic package. The way she rights the reader also just makes me feel like a good person and who doesn’t love that? All in all, the story is amazing, and now I want a baby with beefy Bucky :(

Anyone Except You by @maid-of-mourne-shore  

Okay so this one is definitely different than the ones I’ve listed so far. This one is a little intense. Definitely needs a trigger warning especially with the current US gun situation. Anyways, if you can handle it, please read it. Its a beautifully raw story that portrays that trauma for an outsider so well. I was on the edge of my seat, heart hurting. Bucky Is so soft, the mutual pining is there, the protective Bucky is there, the flangst is there. Its really, really good.

Uniformed by @bucky-plums-barnes

Oh my dear Gen, another wonderful fic from her. This story is absolutely so unique in the way its set up. The sections being introduced like a hospital case had me hooked from word one. I love a hard to get fic, especially when it involves a cocky Bucky and a take no nonsense reader! This fic has its fun times, but it also gets some angsty moments of just raw emotion and understanding between two people in difficult career paths, its truly beautiful. Also, UNCLE BUCKY makes an appearance :)

And finally, last but not least 

Reassurance by @ofheroesandvillains

Obviously I’m a sucker for insecure chubby Bucky. He gets a little green here not gonna lie, makes him about 50x cuter. We get it Bucky, she’s your wife (so you say) and not his. This fic issuer cute, I love me a reassuring reader, because I know I would say the same in that situation. You feel the love between the characters, its not an overwhelming display of love, but its truthful to life and real feelings, and I love it so. 

If you read to the end of this long list, bless your heart and I love you so much. I’m not a writer, so my grammar is probably bad, and I basically just write in a stream of consciousness lol, so sorry for that! I hope you love the fics on here as much as I do! Till next time my loves. 

[the-sanders-sides]

indian american (desi) roman

hi! i relate to roman and ive been seeing posts like these and i got inspired!!

part 2

his name is actually rohan, but he started going by roman in middle school partly as a pun by his friend patton, and partly because “there are like six other kids on our street alone named rohan. i need to stand out! out there in the real world theyll never expect me, the desi kid, to be named roman!”

his parents both immigrated to the US when they were kids and his family followed the ~American Dream~

he grew up in an asian community and rarely saw non-asians until he was in middle school 

he does dramatic retelling of ztv hindi dramas and thats where first he got into acting

he’s short and furious

his grandma always said it’s cuz he doesnt drink enough milk 

he tries to explain to her genetics so basic that even he could understand

his grandma doesn’t believe genetics. it’s the milk.

his cousins back in india rave about cricket and soccer to him

he doesn’t get the appeal of either sport, nor he understand the convoluted system of cricket

once he was old enough to realize this, he began to despise how even though the constitution says freedom of religion, public schools still make the kids do christmas activities and thanksgiving and easter activities that are mandatory. bc if it theres truly freedom of religion, then shouldnt public schools, a governmental, public organization be fully secular??

he is very upset at the christain centric & abrahamic religion centric  view of the world that the schools teach, and how they dont even talk about anything that isnt an abrahamic religion (not even in history class!)

on diwali in high school he sneaks into the administration room and takes over the school PA system to talk about diwali and hinduism and how the world isnt just abrahamic religions

speaking of diwali

he is in LOVE with doing rangoli and always does more and more elaborate ones each year

he tried to help make bhatura once. he was not allowed in the kitchen afterwards

“it’s okay that youre that bad at cooking as long as you marry another indian person who can make you these things, otherwise, ill teach you until you can out-cook me” said his grandma

there was a family reunion once and he didnt know anyone there

he met some cousins for the first time when he was sixteen. it was like theyd known each other since they were babies.

he always feels insecure about doing bad in school because of how high a value his culture places education and knowledge but he cant seem to understand anything

when he was younger his grandma told him if he didnt pass math theyd change his last name from an indian one to the name “smith”

he passed math for the sole reason to not become a white person (because yes roman, thats what happens when you change your last name, dumbass)

his other desi friend told him in her dramatic indian accent that her mom said “youre an A-sian, not a B-sian” in regards to her grades

he couldnt stop laughing for a good ten minutes

when he came out as gay his parents, while not really understanding because being gay wasnt really talked about whn they were growing up, they were extremely accepting

“did you actually think we were gonna be like those christains who kick their kid out because it goes against the bible?” “...” “rohan! learn your own religion! have you even seen the karma sutra?!” “dad, ew”

he is fluent in english and can understand hindi but has trouble speaking it back

his cousins in india tease him and his siblings for their desi accents when he speaks hindi

when theyre teenagers, his cousins teach him hindi swear words

“okay so kuti is, you know, female dog, and then you know how theres motherfucker in english? well in hindi we’ve got bhenchod”

“ASFDGF SISTER FUCKER?? ARE YOU FOR REAL?? OH MY GOSH THAT IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN MOTHERFUCKER I LOVE IT”

he loves doing kathak dance and loves how it integrates sound with the movements and he took classes in it and can do it perfectly

even if he is a partial disgrace for his bad grades, his commitment to kathak, ztv impressions, and indian flute saved his reputation (and also those skills landed him a professional theater role fresh outta high school)

he’s also the biggest defier of the “indians are good at school especially math” stereotype because someone once asked what 2+3 is and he said 1

it wasnt his proudest moment, yet he was proud of himself for breaking down stereotypes, one dumbass moment at a time

speaking of stereotypes

whenever people are racist he just shouts at them and insults them with his Superior Confidence and also to defy stereotypes that indians are just socially awkward nerds who cant defend themselves (looking at you big bang theory)

once he was walking with a friend and they were talking in a mix of hindi and english and some jerk asses laughed at them and were like “hey curry munchers!” and then bowed in a super offensive way while saying “namaste” and pronouncing it horribly wrong

he responded by yelling back at them “we’re in america! speak english!” and that shut them up. 

he pretends that being called racist stuff doesnt hurt him, but when he’s alone he lets it show and oh boy

oh fucking boy is he sad because he hates himself and actually lets everything thats said to him get to him even though he doesnt show it and his self esteem is very fragile

he is absolutely in love with vardaan arora’s music, mostly because he is also gay and indian (and very attractive)

he obsessively watches || Superwoman || (aka lily singh) because oh dear are there a dearth of desi creators and actors and stuff and her videos are so relatable and funny

speaking of which

despite his huge resume and experience and overall amazing ability to act, he is yet to get his big break because he declines most major roles he gets because he refuses to portray racist and stereotypical depictions of indians

and also because no one is really race blind and they wont hire an indian lest it become an “indian show”

his grandma is happy in the end because he does settle down with a nice, smart, indian boy who can cook and counteract all his dumbassery ;) ;) ;) *cough* logan *cough*

all in all, he loves his culture and his family (even the family members he’s yet to meet)

[iamtaekooked]

Stardust || Pt 2 || JJk

Genre: Soulmate AU! Red string of fate au!

{Part 1 here }

Word count: 4.5 k

Summary:

You didn’t believe in soulmates until you lay your eyes on Jeon Jeongguk, the younger brother of your best friend’s husband. That is when you see the red string which begins encircled around your pinky and ends in his.

A/N: Right so I am just going to leave this here. I don’t even know if this is good enough! but for the sake of my mental health I hope you guys like it :)

Summer of 2013, Vienna

Graduating feels like such an accomplishment that you decide to reward yourself.

“Lets go to Vienna” you announce one day while lying on the sand at the beach, being subjected to gawks and stares by your friends. You figure that after graduating your life would become mundane, the boring 9-5 every single day with no opportunity given to enjoy the few moments of beauty life spared.

You watch the shocked looks on their face fade into those of happy smiles as soon as they see the reasoning behind your sudden announcement. The last trip of freedom you dub the journey and spend all your savings on buying tickets to Vienna. With an almost empty bank account, but a full heart you begin on your journey .  Youth and impulsivity is such an overplayed concept and so shamed but there is a certain beauty in taking risks. There is a certain thrill in letting go of all preconceived notions, beliefs, expectations that you cannot help but feel a little rebellious.

Your initial few days consist of you lounging around in your hotel room due to the jet lag but as your body adjusts to the change you begin to venture outside, exploring the beautiful attractions the place has to offer. You don’t waste a single second after that holed up in your room, but instead spend even the early hours of dawn in the hustle and bustle of the city. Some days your accommodation is a bench in some random park, and some days you find yourself passed out in some night bar, with lipstick smudged and hair a mess.

Your friends don’t bother you much, even though it is a group vacation because they are aware how important your space and freedom is to you. You explore the cityscape sometimes by yourself, and sometimes by making acquaintance with a local and getting more benefit and enjoyment than you could have with a commercialized guide.

You are having the time of your life with your worries pushed to the back of your mind and the sole purpose at present being rebellious in your youth and charm that you find yourself drawn to a music festival.You drag some of your reluctant friends to the concert with the bribe that you would later do what they wanted and quit being picky.

Though you will never understand the language, the music itself is enough to drown you in a state of euphoria. You sway to the music like a person lost touch with sanity and let your mind drift deeper with the adrenaline pumping through your veins. The music vibrating through the surrounding space isn’t the only encouragement, for the beer you have been sipping on for the past two hours also contributes to your current state.

You don’t feel drunk, but you do feel buzzed enough to let loose and enjoy your time. Raising your arms above your head you move your body with the thumping music, and feel it hit your chest. Your feel it hit your ears with a force and you drown into the music once more. But your ecstasy is short lived when someone accidentally spills their beer on the back of your shirt while trying to pass through.

Irritably you turn around to scold the person but stop short when you find yourself faced with a handsome young man. Your body begins to burn up in his presence and you feel like a fire has been ignited in you, the soaking shirt already forgotten. Maybe your mind is playing tricks on you because of the alcohol but you could swear you saw a spark of fire in his eyes. Or maybe its the light reflecting that gives the illusion but whatever the case may be, his eyes are as deep as the ocean and filled with so much wonder and passion, you find it hard to look away.

You two stand staring at each other in the midst of the vibrating music, and dancing sweaty bodies. He is the first to break out of the trance as he apologizes for ruining your shirt and quite possibly your night. But you refrain from telling him that he has possibly made your night instead of ruining it. You feel a pull towards him, but its not lust. Its not physical. You feel it in your bones, you feel it in your stomach, you feel it in your chest and its the kind of feeling you get when someone takes your breath away. You feel drawn to him and you cant help it.

So you smile in return and shake your head, acknowledging his apology but also conveying your forgiveness. He extends his hand forward the intention being an apology and an introduction.

Your eyes travel the expanse of his forearm and you see a vein bulge, which causes you to gulp. You quickly make haste and look away, placing your hand in his. You feel something similar to tingling you’ve read about in books, but its not the same thing. It’s like an itching sensation that travels up your arm and ends in your spine. His hand is gentle, wrapped around yours and his fingers slightly rub the skin of your palm.

He nods and slips his hand out of yours and in the moment of parting your fingers brush against each others before both of your hands fall at your sides. It reminds you of cheesy movies, and romantic poems. His eyes suddenly divert to his hand as you watch his face take on a shocked expression for a split second and if you hadn’t been watching, you would have missed it.

“Everything okay?” you ask in concern but when he smiles and nods, you feel it slipping away being replaced by a sense of happiness.

He takes you to the back of the wide open space where the music isn’t as loud and its easier to have a conversation. Finding a good spot to sit on, you take a seat next to him, ensuring some distance remains between you two. Its not because it makes you uncomfortable but because you know that you might end up doing something you shouldn’t. And for some reason you get the sense that he wouldn’t stop you either , and if his gentle stares and stolen glances are any indication he is interested too.

He is a stranger and you don’t know what to ask him. If he was someone else you might have started a conversation but with him you cant seem to find the right words. He is a stranger but this stranger makes you spell bound. You realize you can’t look at him for longer than two seconds because then your stomach flips and nervousness builds up. At least before him, you want to put up a confident front, no matter what goes on inside.

He breaks the silence first.

“Are you travelling or do you live here?” he looks at you, but the moment your eyes meet he is the first one to look away. You find it cute that his face flushes red, and he fidgets with his fingers because then you don’t feel so alone with your feelings.

“Just travelling. Wanted to get away” you stop yourself because you find words at the tip of your tongue that are dangerous to divulge to a stranger. That too a handsome stranger.

He nods, and takes a sip of his beer side eyeing you again. You chuckle at his naivety.

“You?”

“I thought I would find my soulmate here” his laugh sounds like a mocking at his own words. But his straightforward answer takes you by surprise.

“Did you?” you ask, your heart sinking because you didn’t want him to have a soulmate. If he did then it would somehow hurt you.

It was absurd because you knew nothing about the man, yet you felt an inexplicable connection to him, a connection you couldn’t explain in words. It was this white hot feeling. The feeling to hold him, to kiss him, to have him and to call him your own. It was the feeling of your soul calling out to his as if they were lovers in a past life. It was as if an invisible object tethered you to him in some way and at some point during your reverie you thought you lost your mind because it couldn’t be possible. Was this what they called love at first sight?

Soulmates didn’t exist and the people who claimed they did and claimed to have found one had simply turned to wishful thinking and hope because imagination and hope always masked away the pain. Because to remain sane, people would turn to all sorts of things to keep from falling apart.

“Yes” he whispers his answer but he isn’t looking at you while confirming your worst fear, instead he is looking out into the distance towards the stage where the band is playing.

“Oh” you reply and take a sip of your drink to swallow away the lump growing in your throat.

“Oh..” he mimics you

Turning around at the same time your eyes lock. You look away first but you can still sense his eyes on you.

“Stop looking at me like that” you whisper taking a sip of your beer to soothe your parched throat

“Like what? This” he moves even closer and you can feel his breath hitting your cheek.

“So do you really see the crimson string then?” you ask him trying to normalize the tense atmosphere because it feels like you will explode from all the emotions you are trying to hold back

“Yea I do. But its twisted on itself. That can’t mean anything good” he sighs through his nostrils looking solemnly at the ground, finally letting some distance fall between you two for which you feel bitterly thankful.

“You’re lucky you are one of the few people who can see it”

“It can be a curse you know because I see it everywhere, but when it came to me its tangled up”

You nod in understanding of his point of view.

“Maybe that just means you will find your soulmate sometime in the future again. Maybe its a test of your love” you beam at him, and he reciprocates the smile.

“Yeah maybe”

“Does your soulmate know?”

“I am not sure” he smiles at you, looking straight into your eyes.

Your brows furrow at his vague answer because neither is that a yes nor a direct no. But you refrain from pushing because you know its none of your business and some lines should never be crossed.

While you are busy looking out towards the stage in some distance, he is busy looking at you. His lips are turned up at the corners in a slight smile.

“What will you do if you find your soulmate?” he asks so suddenly that your automatic response is to tilt your head in confusion

“I don’t know” you chuckle and his heart drops. Your response isn’t what he expects but he pretends to be okay with it.

“What if he’s handsome? Like me?”

You laugh before responding. “Well aren’t you one for subtlety”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you looking at me” he teases and his bashful tone causes your cheeks to heat up.

“You’re right. I have been looking at you. So what?” you try your hardest to hold eye contact with him despite the anxious feeling rising in your stomach

“So I think you like me” he playfully smirks

“What if I say I do?” you arch an eyebrow in question surprised at your own confidence. But you know you are confident because he is reciprocating the subtle playfulness behind your words. It gives away his interest and if he hadn’t been so complying to your coquettish ways you wouldn’t have been so open.

“I don’t think my soulmate would like that very much” he tries to hold in his smile and you watch his lip quivering but he covers it up by pulling his lip between his teeth.

“Would you like it though?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to?” he smiles lopsidedly and you know he’s turned the tables onto you

“You have a way with words you know?” You look away and let your eyes fall to the ground

“You don’t sound that impressed though” he flashes his eyebrows

“Thats because I am not” you lie but you have no choice because you he cant know how he makes you feel. He already has a soulmate.

“Sure if you say so” he shrugs but its clear that he knows

“What are we doing right now?” you narrow your eyes at him in curiosity

“Talking?” his tone raises at the end making the statement into a question. But even behind his question you can tell he is being a tease since he knows exactly what you mean.

You look at him with your eyebrow cocked up and head tilting to the side.You know he knows. And he knows you know. But neither of you wants to say it.

Its flirting at its best and neither of you is in the mood to give up. But you are hit by the icy realization that he has a soulmate. For some reason that hurts. Its fucked up because you don’t even know him and yet you’ve cultivated some kind of feeling for him and its definitely not in the platonic end.

“Would you tell me if I asked you your name?” you look up at him and he breaks out into laughter.

“Depends” and your brows furrow to relay your confusion.

“I mean I don’t want to tell you my name if it happens that we never meet each other again. How about we settle on being nameless strangers who bump into each other on a whimsical night?”

The proposition doesn’t sound bad at all because you know that you are probably never going to see this man again. Knowing his name would just make it that much hard to forget him after your time with him is over. Its always been easy for you to forget faces rather than names so you whole heartedly agree with his idea.

“Nameless strangers it is” you nod in approval and the blinding smile on his face is back.

“Tell you what if we ever meet again in this life I’ll tell you my name and then you’ll have to go out on a date with me” his eyebrows are raised in question, but you know he is being playful about it because there is no way you would ever see him again.

“What if we’re married by then, you know to different people?”

“I doubt it, but okay” he shrugs

“Why do you doubt it? You can’t see the future can you?” You joke and he is quick to catch on. “No. But how do you know we will be?” You sigh in response because he’s turned the tables again. He really does have a way with words.

“Why a date?” your curiosity and increasing interest get the best of you because his proposition is mysterious at best.

“Doesn’t the story always end with the guy asking the girl out on a date?”

You shake your head at his naively romantic logic but you cant refute it either because a part of you wishes to see him again and take him up on his offer.

“Fine. If we ever meet again lets go out on a date” you extend your hand forward and he takes it, sealing the deal in place.

As if remembering something you fumble in your pocket and when you pull your hand out, clutched in your fist is a piece of paper. You extend your fist in his direction and open it revealing the crumpled piece of paper.

“Take this” you open your palm fully laying out the paper flat.

“What is this?”

“Its my favourite poem. It fits your situation. You should have it, as a symbol of hope and all you know for your future” he stares at the paper in your hand and then back at you. At your nod he takes the paper and reads over the inked words, a smile growing on his lips in recognition of the similarity between the words and his circumstance. You don’t whether you give to him as a keepsake to remember you by and maybe one day find you again or whether you really want to him to keep it as a symbol of hope.

“It does fit. Thank you” he carefully folds the paper neatly and places it in his pocket.

Then you say goodbye to him because your friends drag you away as night falls and your flight has to leave. You say goodbye feeling crestfallen because although it was a short lived meeting you became fond of him.

Present Day

You stare at him and it feels as if time has come to a standstill. The night when you had abruptly left, there was a certain pain behind the goodbye so much so that you chose to forget about the it all together rather than let him remain a fragment in your memory ; as part of the countless people you had encountered in your life. Simply put he wasn’t just a single encounter to you, he meant something you couldn’t define or identify.

So you let him get buried deep into your consciousness and until this night you never thought you would remember him again. You never liked the idea of soulmates before, but now it had a certain appeal because fate brought him back to you again. Like a sense of deja vu, the feelings you felt the night you met him for the very first time resurfaced.

He smiles down at you, and you see the fire in his eyes once more. But this time you are not buzzed and you know that what you are seeing is real.

“I remember now. We talked about your soulmate” you look at him and once again the empty feeling from that night makes it way into your heart, the cold spreading like a chill through your body.

“We did” he chuckles and nods his head at the ground.

“What happened?” and as you utter these words your heart feels heavy like it had all those years ago. Nothing has changed since then.

“I found her, but she still doesn’t seem to know who I am and who she is”

“She seems a bit dumb” you laugh to try and make the atmosphere feel less tense.

“Speak for yourself”

“Hmm? What?”

He didn’t know if it was the many years he spent apart searching for you or if its was this sudden wave of overwhelming emotions rolling over him.

“Do you seriously not see the string?” he brings his pinky up and you stare at it for a few moments slowly shaking your head at being met with nothing but his finger. But then you abruptly stop when you see a flash of red appearing around his finger. You gasp in shock as you see it tied around around his little finger and as you run your eyes along its length you stop when you see it ending around your finger.

Then everything begins to fall into place. The unexplainable allure you felt towards him all those years ago and once again now. The feelings of bitter disappointment at the mention of his soulmate, and the itch to keep him in your sight begins to make sense. Its because he is your soulmate and all these years you were blind to it.

“Di- did you see it that night?” you pause “In Vienna I mean”

He nods and immediately guilt washes over you. You even gave him your favourite poem and now you realized how ironic and mocking it was.

“Why didn’t you say anything”

“You asked me if I had found my soulmate but at that time I didn’t even know what that meant. I just saw this red piece of thread between us and I didn’t think it meant anything because you couldnt even see it. Until today atleast I didnt think it meant anything”

“What do you mean?”

“You see that poem you had given me. I had lost it. I misplaced it in some library book and I went every day to the library to check whether it was there and it wasn’t. I went every day for the past 3 years. Every single day and I didn’t find it until today when I saw it in one of Hyung’s journals. I don’t know how it ended up there but I remembered you said to think of it as a symbol of finding my soulmate in the future. I did” he then pulls out the piece of paper which has turned a bit yellow and torn on the corners.

“If you came to me with a face I have not seen, with a voice I have never heard, I would still know you. Even if centuries separated us, I would still feel you. Somewhere between the sand and the stardust, through every collapse and creation, there is a pulse that echoes of you and I”

You feel tears pool in your eyes as he reads the poem. You chuckle feeling bittersweet because the poem really fits your story.

“See I told you it fits” he steps forwards, placing his arms behind your waist and pulling you closer. He rests his head against yours, gently caressing your cheek with his fingers and wiping the stray tears on your cheek.

“I found you. Again” he presses his lips against your forehead in a soft feathery kiss that causes a tumultuous response in your stomach but you don’t care because he’s found you and you’ve found him.

“Took you long enough” you press your hands against his letting them lace together.

“Oh come on babe, look whose talking. At least I tried. You didn’t even try. You forgot me” he accuses you but the playful tone in his voice is evident.

Out all all the words he said babe stuck out the most so it felt best to make some sort of comment on it.

“Seriously. Babe? Isn’t it a bit too early for all that. Besides we don’t even know each others names. Remember?” You look at him questioningly

“I am Jeongguk and I am crazy in love with you. Happy?” he extends his hand.

“I am y/n. And I cant believe I have cheese for a soulmate because thats the cheesiest thing anyone has ever said to me” you place your hand in his, and he gently squeezes it. Just as you had assumed your body begins to burn, and a tingling warmth spreads from your head to your toes and it almost takes your breath away. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something else?” he looks at you questioningly, but at the same time he is trying to bite back the smile that threatens to break out.

“What?”

“That date we talked about. Babe” he adds at the end.

“Isn’t this date-y enough for you? And seriously.. babe again?” you give him a look that speaks of your disbelief at his boldness but then thats nothing new. He was probably born like that and you wouldn’t be surprised if ends up confirming that statement.

“I didn’t know you were the traditional type. Fine how about sweetheart instead of babe. Plus this is nothing y/n I would give you the world” he tries to contain his smile at your expression which conveys your dislike and disgust; a scrunch of the nose accompanied by a frown. You really can’t believe he is that cheesy.

“Just give up already” you laugh and he presses a kiss to your cheek.

“No” then he kisses your other cheek. “Never” he places a kiss on your nose. “Babygirl” he lays a soft peck on your lips

You suddenly remember his flirtatious ways and cannot help but ask him about it.

“Why did you flirt with me that night despite being unsure of what the whole deal meant?”

“Just because I wasn’t sold on the long term deal back then, doesn’t mean I wasn’t attracted to you-” he pauses and moves closer to your ear. “Babygirl” he finishes with the word which makes your cheeks taint a bright shade of pink.

“Are you sold on the long term deal now?” you hold your breath for his answer.

He ponders the question for a few moments looking heavenward with his eyes scrunched in question.

“Hmmm… Too bad for you babygirl even if you wanted to get rid of me I am not going anywhere” he shakes his head

“You might not but what if I fall for someone else” you tease but your smile falters when you see the expression on his face darken abandoning all traces of the playful smile earlier.

“Then you are just ensuring that person’s end. Don’t make me a killer y/n because I want to live a long life with you. Together” he adds after a small pause and the smile is back on his face.

His response elicits a laugh from you and he watches with something akin to admiration and fondness in his eyes. The way your eyes crinkle when you smile and the sound of your laughter fills his heart with so much warmth. It sounds like music, feels like home and tastes like love. So he stands still and revels in the beauty that he thinks in your presence and your existence. And for a moment or two he wishes time freezes so he can look at you to his heart’s content. So that he can memorize every detail of your face until it is as clear as crystal in his mind.

In that moment he wishes to shower you with all the love he had kept safe in his heart for the day that he finally meets you again.

The familiarity and the normality of your flirtatious conversation fills you with a sense of deja vu. It happened before in Vienna and its happening again.

Your stomach erupts in butterflies as he smiles down at you and the image resurfaces in your head like a distant memory, a distant dream hidden away. You are hit with the realization that you fell in love with him that night not knowing he was your destined partner. 

But maybe that’s what being soulmates is all about ; feeling drawn to the other person even without the knowledge of who they truly are. Maybe that is the pull of the thread connecting him to you. For the man you had yearned for in a different place, in a different time, under different circumstances was once again stood in front of you.

“Look” he whispers as he looks down at your hands and you watch in awe as the thread unwinds ,slowly unknotting , and in the process binding your love.

“This reminds me of another poem. Wanna hear it?” he groans as he throws his head back.

“One poem caused me enough problem. I don’t want another one”

“Its really poetic and beautiful, hear me out”

He loves you too much to say no and the look of childlike joy and excitement on your face compels him to comply. So he wraps a tight arm around your waist and looks at you with such love and fondness that it makes his heart quiver. He walks beside you as you recite the poem :

“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence”

Let me know your thoughts in the comments down below or leave me an ask! If you liked it dont forget to click that heart and reblog! :) Thanks for reading!

[hanarchy]

you know, i have a lot of contradictory emotions about relationships. 

i feel awkward categorising my sexuality because my (rare) moments of physical attraction still happen mostly with guys but any emotional, meaningful attraction is attached to women or maybe rather people who identify in some way with that word. but then this kind of attraction swings over into physical easily and i meet many more non-men that i would want to touch, even if there’s no clear strong attraction. 

i think traditional nuclear families are a recipe for disaster but i also don’t have any blueprint for what a healthier, more stable way to have a family would be. 

i value my alone time more highly than most things in my life, when i am well it sustains me and fuels me but at the same time, when i am not well and struggling, being alone becomes something like an addiction, it goes from a help in life to the sole purpose of it and feels supremely unhealthy, it allows me to slip into vicious thought circles and self-hatred in a way nothing else can. 

i’m not sure i could compromise in a relationship. i like sleeping alone, i like having space, every time i have friends around me who are in the position to puncture some of the walls and perceptions and delusions i’ve built around myself, i run for the hills or rather, i push them away. 

i don’t know how to be physically intimate with someone. i just plain dont know, i dont even have negative experiences or awkward youth moments, instead i have nothing at all, i literally do not know what it feels like to act on physical attraction, i don’t know what it feels like to touch someone else or be touched and i dont know how to negotiate these spheres and am terrified of it.

how do you explain to someone that you’re 26 and have never even kissed anyone? how do you explain to a friend that you’re still figuring out your sexuality and project a lot of romantic feelings onto relationships with girlfriends without noticing and then get very hurt when they enter into an actually romantic relationship? how do you explain to someone who you’re just becoming friends with that it will break you that there are people in their life who are more important to them? because it does break me every time, i know how unfair this emotion is towards another person, and i know it’s unbalanced and apparently easier for everyone else but it’s how i feel, and i’m bitter about it too and dont know how to get past it.

the other day I was talking to someone about how questionable i find all my friends’ boyfriends and the truth behind this is that i generally believe i’d be a better boyfriend (girlfriend) and suddenly realise that my friendship was a substitute for a relationship, even if my feelings were never romantic. but the truth is also that i dont have any idea what it actually takes to be in a committed relationship, which is probably why i form these attachments to friends.

how do you explain the complexities of this to someone you dont know very well yet and dont drive them away in the process? why do i even want to tell people about this? it’s like i have a compulsion to pour out all the reasons i cant form normal and meaningful relationships and shove them over to a new person and dare them to still want to love me.

i crave connection, friends, loves, intimacy in any form but i find something wrong with every person i meet and if i dont, i find reasons why they’d never like me, which sounds innocent enough but happens with such a vehemence that i sometimes spiral deep into self-hatred for several days as a result.

people often tell me that i’m brave for being so honest, with myself, with them, with everyone. it’s really just a desire to relieve pressure, human interaction makes me nervous and if i am very radically honest it feels less like i have a ton of bricks on my chest. 

i dont think im ugly but i think others find me disgusting. i think im smart and cultured and can contribute to conversation in a variety of topics and i make an effort to be kind and inclusive while doing so but at the same time i think others hate to listen to me and that i talk too much. 

i appear chill and detached and above it all but all that really is is thinly masked awkwardness that i designed as a behaviour for myself so that others wouldnt try to include me out of pity but actually, people including me out of pity would often be vastly preferable to not being included at all. when i do encounter someone who is very awkward and alone i try to approach them and facilitate conversation but i fully believe they dont want to talk to me the whole time. ive been studying law for 2 years but i still shrink up in conversations about it and doubt every word i say even when i am absolutely right. while i tell stories i often fully believe that i am lying or exaggerating until i go over what i just said (afterwards in my head) and realise that i didn’t. 

essentially, when i am around people, i suddenly believe that all my good features are lies, that no one can see anything redeeming in me, even if i see it in myself. i don’t rely on others for validation but thats at least partly because ive made it entirely impossible for myself to /be/ validated by others by surrounding myself in neuroses.

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[chaekkung]

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(