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luckybunny555 · 1 year

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Gwen patching you up after a mission

You and Gwen had just finished a particularly difficult and demanding mission, so when you both finally arrive to your apartment, she helps you take care of your bruises and scratches. You return the favor, taking care of her too

🕷 Gwen Stacy x Spider!GN!Reader 🕷

Warnings: mention of injuries, cursing, not very angsty, more like fluff actually, reader lives alone because I wanted to?? but not necessarily 18+, in my head it makes sense. SFW ofc

A/N: reader is kinda chaotic and clumsy?? because I was writing some HCs for this type of reader when I had the idea for this scenario so... it's kinda complementing my HCs post(that I haven't posted yet). Also, I didn't specify the relationship she has with the reader, so you can choose whether or not you guys are dating or something else, but it is romantic(cute feelings and kisses yay!). Proofread and written at 3am so idk if this is good but let's gooo.

She might’ve never admitted it out loud, but Gwen loved being paired with you for missions. That was one of the ways she found to keep an eye on you and make sure you were safe during dangerous fights. The two of you had slowly gotten closer with time– you met her through the Spider Society, of course, and despite her attempts to keep her emotional walls up and high, you managed to find a way into her heart. And when you did? Oh boy, she could not let go of you.

It was her instinct to become more and more protective of you, given everything she's gone through. Besides, that's what happens when you feel a deep connection to someone. She wants to protect you, keep you safe, make sure nothing bad ever happens to her precious spidey. And you were very aware of that. It was obvious, from the way she would find any excuse and moment to casually touch you, to how she'd stand closer to you whenever Miguel's anger over some mishap in a mission was starting to get out of hand, or when she'd keep her gaze on you from a distance whenever you were up to some trouble, always ready to rescue you when needed. You could tell how protective she was over you, and it made your heart grow warmer each time she showed you.

But even with all the protection she could offer you, keeping you completely unharmed was a very difficult task. You were a free spirited person, guided by your curiosity and passion, and there was not a single person in the entire multiverse who could get you to settle down and chill out. In other words, getting into trouble was a daily occurrence to you.

You had a tendency to dive head first into danger, and your passion for your "spider-duties" and keeping people safe encouraged you to jump into action without second thought. And of course, your approach wasn't always successful. This time wasn't very different.

Miguel had assigned you both to a particularly difficult mission. This anomaly you had to contain was unlike your usual villains, which is why you were caught by surprise and unprepared. Even though it demanded more effort than your average missions, you and Gwen were actually able to knock out this unconventional villain, but unfortunately, not before it did a number on both of you.

The nasty wound on your knee that caused you to limp was enough reason for her to not leave you unsupervised for a single moment. She refused to let go of you when heading back to the HQ, carefully helping you walk as she slung your arm over her shoulders to support you. No matter how much you protested(not much anyways, because you enjoyed how close she was to you...) and tried to convince her your bruise wasn't that serious, she simply wouldn't listen. She had to make sure herself that you were fine, and she wouldn't rest until she took proper care of your injury.

"Gwen, it's not that bad! I can still walk, I'm just slower than-"

"Shut up, you got hurt and I'm gonna take you home to make sure you're fine. Forgive me if I don't trust your words, troublemaker, but with the frequency you get yourself hurt, I have reason to worry," she tells you in a scolding tone, but you know she's not serious, seeing the hint of a smile on the corner of her lips, causing you to chuckle.

"Aw, you're worried about me?" you tease her, your gaze fixed on her as she narrows her eyes at you, playfully pretending to be fed up with your attitude. You laughed to yourself.

After a quick word with Miguel to make sure everything went okay with the mission, she insists on taking you home. Even though she had some injuries herself, she pushed them to the back of her mind, focusing on making sure your wound was properly taken care of before she worried about her own.

So, once you crawl inside through your window with her help, you allow your body to fall on your bed, letting out a loud sigh as you dramatically throw your arms up and cross them over your eyes. Gwen lets out a chuckle while watching you, your playfulness soothing her nerves since you don't seem to be too affected by your bruised knee. At this point, she knew your apartment like the back of her hand, so she hurried to get the first aid kit you kept in your bathroom cabinet.

Coming back into your bedroom, she sat with her legs crossed on your bed, placing the box beside her. She positioned your legs over each of her thighs, sitting between them so she could take proper care of your knee.

"Use the Hello Kitty[or whatever character you'd like] band-aids this time," you say, jokingly pretending to be mad at her, uncovering your eyes to look at her.

"Oh, you think those band-aids are gonna cover this wound? Cute," she teases you, laughing as she takes a few items from the first aid kit.

"It's not that bad," you dramatically let your arms fall on the bed, causing her to look at you. She knew she could get overly worried at times, but judging from your expression, you didn't seem mad at her. "I mean, usually it's a lot less worse, though. But did you see that villain? They were huge!" she chuckles, listening to your rant as she starts to clean the big scratch on your skin.

You kept rambling about the mission, as you usually do, letting Gwen do her thing. And in the back of your mind, you noticed how nice it felt. Not the wound, obviously. But how gentle she was when taking care of you. You had kind of a taste for danger, whether intentionally or not, but you were glad to have someone so patient and caring to patch you up every time you needed. And you could handle her totally non-threatening scolds, neither of you taking it seriously, knowing it wouldn't keep you from getting yourself hurt again.

You also started realizing how attentive she was. I mean, she was very focused on your bruise, carefully cleaning it to prevent any infections. But she also seemed to pay attention to your whole rant, complementing your comments with her own experiences from the mission. Most people would've tuned it out now, or wouldn't be able to focus on both things.

Your talk started to slow down, and as you fixed your gaze on her, admiring her focused expression, you noticed your breaths getting deeper and slower. You couldn't help noticing how pretty she looked. The bedroom was only dimly lit, the lamp on your bedside table illuminating your wound enough for her, but you could faintly see her freckles, and her soft smile that had appeared during your conversation, and how her hair was covering part of her face, her head tilted, eyes on your bruise...

Realizing that you had gone quiet for a moment, she looked up at you with a curious expression. Her hands stopped cleaning the scratch on your leg when she noticed the way you were looking at her. You weren't aware of it, of course, but she felt her heart skip a beat in that moment. "Why are you staring at me like that, you weirdo?" she joked, letting out a nervous chuckle. You hesitate for a moment.

Propping yourself up on your hands, you shift closer as you keep your gaze on hers. Her breath hitches with your sudden movement, surprised and curious about your intentions. "Because you look really pretty," you confess, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating. Her eyes slightly widen at your words, and you can see a bit of her tooth gap as her lips slightly part when she lets out a subtle gasp. You brush a strand of hair away from her face, allowing you to have a better look at her, and it sends a shiver down her spine. "Thank you for putting up with me, and always taking care of me when I get hurt. Which is often," you let out a low chuckle, admiring her eyes as you straighten your seated position, your faces only a few inches apart.

Gwen's mind went blank for a moment, thoughts clouded as time seemed to melt while she was seated in front of you, closer than she would've dared, but not close enough for her liking. Your words make her scoff, slightly smiling as she shakes her head, "Yeah, more often than I'd like." She drops the cloth she was using to clean your scratch, allowing her hands to rest on your thighs. "It would be great if you could be more careful, but we both know that's not gonna happen," she quietly laughs, her gaze traveling across your face, observing all your features, that she adores so much.

You giggle, shaking your head from side to side, "No..." a playful grin appears on your face, knowing this scene would keep repeating itself, in different ways and settings, but reveling in the idea that she'd still be there for you. "Good thing I always have my princess charming to catch me right in time, right?" you say, tilting your head slightly to the side, wrapping your arms around her shoulders as you bring her closer. The grin that appears on her face matches yours, and she can't help but chuckle at your choice of words.

"Yeah, you always do," taking one last look at your eyes, she says before closing the distance between you two. Her hands move towards your waist, bringing you even closer as she kisses you. Even with your lips connected, you can feel the both of you smiling.

When you two pull back, breaking the kiss, you notice the softness and admiration in her gaze. You can only assume your eyes express the same for her. Breaking the silence, she turns her gaze to your bruise once again. "Alright, stop distracting me now, your knee still needs bandage," she tells you, and you let out a loud sigh as you let you body drop on the bed once more, but unable to hold back your giggles as you continue to gaze at her.

She quickly finishes patching you up, placing a large band-aid on your knee before reaching out to grab one of the colorful pens you keep on your bedside table. She draws [whatever character you like] over it, remembering how you wanted her to use your cuter, but unfortunately smaller, band-aids. "Done, are you happy now?" she asks, teasing you.

Sitting up again, you notice her drawing on your bandage, which makes your eyes light up. To her, the look on your face was the equivalent to cartoon characters having stars in their big, wide eyes, and seeing you like that made her giggle. You quickly embrace her in a tight hug, only pulling back to pepper kisses on her face, causing you both to laugh.

"Thank you, it looks super cute," you say with a sweet smile on your face. Despite the darker setting, you could almost see a slight shade of pink on her cheeks. "Did you get any bad bruises too?" you ask, concerned about her state as well, even though she hadn't complained about any injuries.

She shakes her head, a small smile still on her face as her expression softens at your gentleness and concern. "Nothing a shower can't take care of," she replies, reassuring you. You nod, slowly pulling away your arms from her shoulders.

The two of you had gotten used to this. You enjoyed having company in your apartment, so you'd always invite her over, sometimes for a sleepover, and sometimes it would last a few days... You got used to her borrowing your clothes, eating your food, sleeping on your bed(because you refused to let her sleep on the couch, even though she said it would be fine). It was nice to constantly have her as a house guest.

So you get up, carefully as to not hurt your knee again, and make your way towards your closet, finding clean, comfortable clothes for her to borrow. Handing them to her, she gets up from your bed and plants a kiss on your forehead as a thank you, heading to your bathroom to take a shower.

While you wait for her, you notice the sounds coming from your stomach, and you assume she might be hungry as well. Since you have time, but not a lot of energy since you got back from a mission, you decide to make a quick and easy meal just for the two of you.

Right after her, you take a quick shower, feeling more comfortable and warm. You bring the two bowls with food to your bedroom, sitting down in bed with Gwen, your backs against the headboard as you turn on the TV to watch something while you eat.

Despite the intensity of the day, it feels relaxing to simply enjoy a simple meal in bed, right beside her as you laugh at the TV screen. For these few moments, there's no Spider duty, no problems that need to be solved. She could finally relax, knowing the both of you were safe and okay.

After a while, both plates finished and now in an almost laid down position, the tiredness from the day started setting in. A few yawns were let out by both of you as your eyes wanted to drift closed, but neither of you wanted to give in, enjoying each other's company too much to let your exhaustion get in the way.

Unable to resist any longer, and partially because you wanted to feel Gwen closer to you, you finally decide to turn off the lights. Laying down and finding a comfortable position, you wrap your arms around her, bringing her down to lay next to you. You gently hold her face, laying her head on your chest as your arms wrap tightly yet comfortably around her.

Gwen was a bit surprised by your actions. Of course you had already slept in the same bed before, but being this close to you? That's a new one. It took her a moment to really adjust to it.

She started noticing how softly you were holding her, even though your grip was tight enough to keep her close. It made her feel comforted and wanted. And when you started playing with her hair, oh, she melted under your touch.

Almost instinctively, she buried her head deeper into your chest, her arms wrapping tightly around your waist. You could tell what it meant for her to be held like that, so you placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, glad to offer her comfort in return for how caring and gentle she was with you.

Truly, it meant a lot for you too. You might be reckless, like, 90% of the time, but being able to witness this, to notice how all of her muscles relax while you're lovingly holding her, how her breath starts to slow down and get steadier with each second, it was like being bathed in sunlight. As you felt both of you drifting asleep, all you wished for was that this moment would last for as long as it could.

#across the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman atsv #gwen stacy #spider gwen #spider man across the spider verse #ghost spider #atsv #atsv x reader #gwen x reader #gwen stacy x reader #ghost spider x reader #spider gwen x reader #spider man: across the spider verse

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eyesteeth · 1 year

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fionna and cake e6 spoilers + thoughts on the endgame for this series

firstly, on ice prince: i think it's good for simon's development that he got to see this. but it could also be very bad if he doesn't allow himself to ruminate on it. ice prince spends most of the episode making simon feel like shit, because ice prince apparently conquered the madness of the crown out of sheer force of will, will that simon apparently lacked. and ice prince is living the life, having everything simon wishes he could have - the benefits of the crown with none of the downsides.

except, that's a lie. it's only until the very end of the episode is it revealed that he was actually broadcasting the madness of the crown into bubblegum, showing that this ideal cannot exist. the fun magical simon everyone claims to want is a falsehood. you cannot have the magic without the sadness and the madness.

what i find very curious about this universe is that it seems to run very similar to ooo. all the candy subjects are present, albeit mutilated by bubblegum's crown-influenced mind, and we even see a young ice marcy with the same axe bass ooo marcy has. so the simon of this universe had to have gone down nearly the exact same path as ooo simon, with a few exceptions:

he somehow had the thought to beam the madness away from him, implying he had help or some level of cognition or malice ooo ice king never had.

he and marcy are no longer on speaking terms (why recreate a person if you can just talk to them).

he's not obsessed with betty.

the last one of these is the one that stands out the most. the (outwardly) most functional simon we've seen so far does not care about betty. she died and he got over it. which leads me to my main thought about the ending of this series:

i don't think simon and betty should end up together.

their story is very much one of cycles, a loop of loss and finding and being lost again. simon has been grieving betty for decades, given how much finn's aged, yet simon never seemed to get out of the third and fourth stages of grief - he's cycling between depression and bargaining and seems to have been for a while. this is definitely not helped by being a normal man in a world full of magic when that magic can't even bring back the person he wants.

and if he does find her in the other multiverses, it wouldn't last. either she wouldn't be "his betty", or he'd become an anomaly just like fionna and cake, and would end up wreaking havoc anyway. he needs to accept that the woman he loves is gone. even if he somehow made his way to golbetty, betty's wish in the AT finale was to keep simon safe. golbetty is NOT safe, that's why she left so quickly during that battle. if he approaches her, there is no guarantee that she'll stay put. she could even boot him back to ooo.

much like his desire to get the crown and be magical again, his desire to find betty is founded on the falsehood that everything will be fine if he just has this one thing.

now, granted, this doesn't mean i wouldn't like to see him try. he is so dedicated to this line of thought that it's very likely he could end up regressing into ice king if they do manage to find a crown. that's the point of this kind of narrative, seeing the protagonist struggle and fail before eventually coming to the final realization. it's a story of grief and addiction, and those are never linear things. we still have four episodes left, and a lot could happen.

which, to that point, i think the marceline episode is going to be in the next batch, either e7 or e8. i am fairly confident this will be a world where either a) simon did not find the crown and died in the bombing, b) simon briefly spent time with marcy but died in an attack, or c) simon left marcy earlier and she ended up falling in with the vampires. her manner of dress in the trailer and promo image seems to suggest that this is a marcy who was either raised by her father and proudly wears the crown of vampire queen, or was raised by the vampires who were killing humans after the bombs. i believe this could only happen under those three circumstances.

this is going to be especially important for simon's development on two fronts. firstly, it shows that simon's time as himself was worth something. marceline is much better off having had his help during the years right after the bombing. even though he left in the end, what he did to help her prevented her from becoming whatever she is in this upcoming episode. and, secondly, it's a reminder that the marcy back at ooo is still someone he can talk to. just because she has a girlfriend/wife now doesn't mean that he's unwelcome in her life. it's the classic depression isolation, and maybe this realization will get him to break out of it somewhat.

also for future episodes, betty shows up in the trailer, and i'm willing to bet(ty) that this is going to be either e9 or e8, depending on how long simon's going to sit on this interaction and process it. i can see it being in the next batch if e9 and e10 are going to be the climax and resolution, but i can also see this betty scene happening in e9 and pushing him into regression and a mental spiral in e10, which is mostly him having a horrible time and the world of fionna and cake shaking up as a whole.

it's snowing over there now. maybe they get some earthquakes as foreshadowing to the breakdown simon's about to have. truly, who knows? we just gotta wait. but it will be interesting either way, i think.

#adventure time #adventure time fionna and cake #simon petrikov #theorizing

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whovianwatchingstartrek · 11 months

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A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 059 - Captain T'Pol and the Quantum Parasites

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 8 - Twilight

The episode cold opens with Archer waking up to find T'Pol has taken has taken his place as captain. Not only that, but enterprise is being chased by the Xindi weapon and two Xindi ships! Quite an exciting opener. Then: We see the weapon crack open a planet. Next thing we know, Archer's an old man on earth. And for some reason, living with T'Pol in a kind of couple-y situation. I wish the show would stop trying to make Archer x T'Pol work, they have absolutely no chemistry with eachother. Apparently Archer is missing 12 years worth of his memories. Most of the episode was through flashback, with T'Pol explain what happened. According to her, Archer was hit by an anomaly, and has been unable to form any new Long Term memories ever since.

This was a really interesting episode. Normally when a show does Amnesia, they do Retrograde amnesia, so it's nice to see an attempt to tackle Anterograde amnesia for a change. And the episode being from Archer's perspective while he's suffering from it was really interesting.

Also, is this the only time we get to see T'Pol in a normal Starfleet uniform? Because it really does suit her, better than the uniforms she's had so far, at least. While we're on the topic, we later see Trip in the Captain's uniform, and it suits him too. And Malcolm's beard.

Archer's reaction to hearing that Earth and most of Earth's colonies were destroyed is heartbreakingly well performed. It might be the best performance Scott Bakula has given for enterprise so far. However, it was at this point that I started figuring that things weren't exactly as they seemed, and that this was all in Archer's mind. Earth and humanity wouldn't be destroyed off-screen. I also started to notice other small details that were off. T'Pol wouldn't argue that The Vulcans held back Earth's warp program, that was always Archer and Trip's talking point. But, later in the episode I'm proven wrong. This episode actually happened, it's just undone because of the parasites infecting Archer's relationship with Space-Time. Eliminating them now, means they never existed, so curing Archer means that he would never have been infected in the first place

The cure of course is blasting the Parasites out of Archer's head with the Warp reactor. I don't think that's how medicine works, but who am I to argue with Phlox's methods.

I really liked this episode, it had some really good emotional beats, and even despite it's more emotional nature, still managed to squeeze in a couple good action scenes. Enterprise's last stand, with everyone fighting to the absolute end in the faintest hope that Phlox's theory about the parasites was correct was beautiful, and the calm at the end once everything was undone was just really nice.

Plus, a nice Time Travel twist. In a way, it kind of reminded me of the 10th Doctor episode, Turn Left, in that a parasite causes an aberrant timeline where everything just goes wrong. It's not quite as bleak as turn left, and this deals with future events instead of Past Events, but I still loved it.

Comparing my Enjoyment of this Episode with a Doctor Who Universe Story of the Same Title

Doctor Who - Big Finish Monthly Range #23 - Project: Twilight

Project: Twilight was the start of a mini arc that ran through Big Finish's 6th and 7th Doctor Radio Plays, often Called The Forge Arc.

The radio play opens with brilliant opening that makes little sense on the first listening, but when you come back to it, it makes a lot more sense. Specifically, the Project Twilight subject's escape from the Forge in World War One. The audio then jumps forward to the modern day. I like to keep the plot summary stuff short for the Same Title segment, so I'll skip over a lot of the details, but it's initially framed as a strange murder mystery about a spontaneously combusting body, but beautifully unravels into a century long Conspiracy involving a secret government organisation called The Forge, a Vampire-Super-Soldier program from World War One, and how The Doctor, his companion Evelyn, and a random civilian called Cassie end up wrapped up into it.

The story's individual villains of the Project Twilight Vampire vampires are fantastically written, and the story masterfully sets up Nimrod, the main villain of the Forge Arc as a whole.

Project: Twilight is a lot more gruesome than most Doctor Who stories, but it plays it's horror very tactfully and the fact that it's a radio play which leaves the visuals to the imagination really adds to that atmosphere.

Picking whether Enterprise's Twilight or Doctor Who's Project Twilight is better is a hard choice, they both scratch very different itches and fill their roles very well. I am leaning more towards Project: Twilight because I'm in that Halloween Horror mood at the moment, but Enterprise's Twilight was also a really good timey-wimey emotionally driven experience.

#whovian watching star trek #star trek #star trek enterprise #star trek ent #star trek: enterprise #enterprise #ent #doctor who

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aita-blorbos · 9 months

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AITA for taking a 13 year old away from the corporation that’s been keeping her in a coma?

(AU/rewrite of canon)

I, (27, m) work for a secret organization that specializes in experimenting and containing anomalous things. They keep everything from the public so regular people don’t know about the anomalies either.

Anyways the story starts around last year after Christmas, I was talking to one of my co workers about how Santa does come into my house and he’s definitely real while my co worker tried to explain how I needed to call the cops (which I did it was not Santa). Then Santa runs by us and immediately I check it out only to find out that this ‘Santa’ was very recently created by one of the anomalous entities we house.

We’ll call her S, (13, F). S is capable of manipulating reality. Kinda like a witch or wizard. Realizing the similarities to her and a witch I made her a spell book and gave it to her in hopes she’d be able to have better control of her abilities if she were to write them down.

Unfortunately I never knew if this ended up working bc H, (31, M) put her into a coma under the organizations orders.

It should be noted that when this happened, H was a cyborg and the organization literally coded him to listen to the organizations orders. I fixed this not even a month later after S becoming comatose tho so we’re good on that.

Anyways cut to now, S was woken up by a researcher for unrelated reasons which accidentally lead into a site wide containment breach of almost every entity in the site because another guy really wants to kill her (don’t worry everyone was working to stop him during this)

S managed to get the guy trying to hurt her into a containment cell because she’s awesome like that but in the process accidentally summoned a dragon. So I went to help her handle that and kinda just told the dragon to die and it did. It disintegrated on the spot. So I go to make sure S is ok when another researcher shows up and injects her with something to make her pass out bc I guess they wanted to make her comatose again which is bullshit.

I manage to get to her first and in my panic I teleport her into this library place which is actually a zone in between worlds that’s controlled by another group that’s against the organization and wants all anomalies to either be known about or be let into society.

I immediately take S into a medical sector and explain the whole situation. As I’m typing this she’s very happily living over in the library with H (bc he’s staying there due to the whole mind control thing)

Anyways where I might be the asshole is that everyone over in the organization (except for a few) is super pissed at me for not telling them where she is. They keep saying she has the capacity to end the world which, sure, but also she is 13 and they put her into a coma

I don’t think I’m the asshole here but maybe I am who knows

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #abuse #child abuse #medical abuse

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ciarashoggoth · 4 months

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A Report! From Inside The Walls of Mallmart

"We need to do something!" I gazed out the window. There amongst the pines, a rabbit struggles against the grasp of a fox's maw, legs kicking feverishly. There was a fire there, burning in the fox's eyes. One that I didn't understand. Axton watches, his full attention on the blood that has started to bloom from that ashy tan fur. "Then go on, Ciara. Go out there and try." He's 10, and I'm 11. We've lived in this house, unallowed to invite guests over for most of our childhood. We've always lived in this house. "But…The fox won't have anything to eat though…" The rabbit's glossy black eyes are wide with terror, bulging from the skull. "I want to help the fox too. I want both the fox and the rabbit to be okay." My voice feels far away from my own lips. "You can't have it both ways, that's not fair! That's not how it works." Axton crosses his arms.

As I step into the entrance doors of Mallmart I think about that conversation, because this is the story of a Mallmart Associate.

"Taylor Peyton. Is she, or is she not being fired?" The room was dark as usual, a small box fan blowing in the corner. Management wanted to fire Taylor for looking into the store's anomalies? Well then I was going to sink this ship with everyone in it. "We don't like to think of it as firing per se. Think of it as us helping her along to the next phase of her life. A next phase that doesn't have Mallmart in it."

"Oh…Well, that's pretty funny actually. I think we can all have a laugh about this together. You know, you and I, and OSHA. Actually I have some stuff to add on too! Like the time you turned off the water to the break room on a heat wave. Or the time Ashante almost got crushed between shelves in the backrooms-"

"Are you threatening us, Ms.Shoggoth?" We stared at each other from across the desk in a sort of screwed up standoff. "Oh good, so we're on the same page." I nodded.

…

"AVOID…DENY…DEFEND!" The re education video chimed as I sat there, watching the violent behavior courses. I don't know what I had expected really. Did I really think standing up to Management would be so simple? Gritting my teeth, I waited for the video to hit that 10 minute mark so I could click confirmation that I watched. Taylor was worth getting in trouble though, because she really was a marvelous employee. The fact that she was able to fit into all the required boxes and meet core values while still being so, so likeable was almost unheard of in retail and yet there she goes, looking into the incomprehensible horrors that lived in Mallmart on top of everything. Of course I was willing to fall on my sword for her. The classes were short this time, because there was a scheme lurking in the background I was not privy to. "I need you to scan all of the home goods now that you're done with the sporting good," I am told, and I nodd, eager to show my worth after the little spat I had gotten into that morning. So, that's what I did. I scanned the shelves, looking for items that would light up in the app, and then, another supervisor walked down into my terf of the backrooms. "Ciara! What are you doing in home goods? You're supposed to be in domestics! That's going to be a point deduction!" I grit my teeth, walking towards the domestics department of the backrooms. "Glaring like that, it feels very threatening, Ciara, are we going to have to write you up?"

"No ma'am-" and just like that, she'd turned the corner just for the original supervisor to walk in. "What are you doing? Did you finish home goods?"

"I thought I was told to go to domestics, I-"

"Why would you be in domestics? That's a point deduction there."

"But that's not fair!" I hiss under my breath, so quiet no one but I could hear. Because I knew what this was, they were setting up the grounds to get me out. They've done it before, and they'll do it again. Should I be surprised? No, this is just us playing a game here, a game that is absolutely rigged. I did the best I could though. Some of you may ask, why bother? Why not quit?

Just why is Mallmart so important to work at anyways? In truth, I don't fully understand either. Maybe it's because I need the money. For my family, for myself. Maybe I'm that desperate to stay close to someone who intrigues me as much as Taylor Peyton- because she is fascinating, truly….maybe there's a fucked up part of me that likes playing martyr, that feels comfortable being submissive to a dead end job? I looked at the boxes stacked on my cart, all of them saying "team lift". Yeah, that was it, wasn't it? Everyone said I was gullible, suggestible, simple as a kid. I never believed them until now though. I guess that's just the humor in this all.

"Okay, now I'm depressed" I remember writing to the discord server that day. It's funny though, I can't remember when the writing happened. It must've been on my lunch break. It had to be, there's no time to chat during work otherwise. Not really. "What's wrong?" The apparition of a man writes, his message flashing onto the screen. Several of them are online, my closest companions. I'm uncertain if I have permission to speak their names or even say too much about them- at least anything that might give away their identities. It's imperative for you to know going forward though, just how awe inspiring these individuals are, going forward. Because they are just that. "Just Mallmart, changing parts of me and how I see myself lol idk"

"Is this your first retail job?"

'Oh gosh… you don't know the half of it.' Is what I think, letting out a groan of frustration. It was my first real job ever. It was the first job I'd had that wasn't connected to the name of a family member, the first time that I was truly independent… and here I was, sinking like the titanic. Sure, I knew how to work. I'd done construction, furniture, cleaning, transcription… but never under normal circumstances. Never outside the little community I was raised in. And somehow sharing that fact with a bunch of strangers on the internet seems far less daunting than admitting that to the man who seems lifetimes ahead of me in worldly experiences. I don't want to admit that I've barely begun to crawl.

"Yes. I didn't know it was going to be like this!"

"Yeah, retail sucks" Another friend barks back in agreement. The same friend who was probably one of the most ambitious and hard working people I'd ever met. I wondered for a second- maybe Mallmart, maybe this is just the retail experience? Maybe all stores have skeletons in their closets all the same, and it's through the hard work and diligence of Mallmart's workers that it becomes liveable again, even inviting.

I tried to keep that optimistic attitude, I really did, but by the end of the day, I was called back into management for a second time. And you know what? You know what they offered? They offered to wave away all the points I'd taken that day, so long as I forgot about calling OSHA. They sat me down real comfortable, and laid that bombshell one, that they were willing to come right out and say it rather than acting like they were in the right, or that there was even a reason. "You know, it would be just as easy to keep Taylor, instead of going to all this trouble. Final offer, Taylor Peyton stays and we stop documenting Mallmart." And like that, we struck a deal, shook hands. Of course I thought I won- at first. I texted into my phone to the discord server, explaining what had happened. "OSHA does allow anonymous reporting. Do not tell your employer that you're reporting them, no matter what. It won't get issues fixed, it will only get you outta there." The reply back read.

Well….

Shit.

When I heard Taylor was being fired, all I could hear was the tea kettles whistling and instead of keeping my mouth shut, like I should've, I'd gone and shot myself in the foot. The weight of the fact I gave away the only leverage I had hit me like a ton of bricks.

"This whole day was humiliating. The only thing keeping me from getting on my hands and knees and groveling for my job was that I was pissed about the whole Taylor thing."

"Well I commend you for that. Anger can be useful. Kind of like a defensive weapon- Allows you to stand up for yourself or others"

And while my brain was buzzing I didn't see the truth in his words, to hung up on everything I'd done so terribly wrong. I do now though. Sometimes when things feel insurmountable, the only thing we have is to hold onto our fire. You may find yourself overwhelmed by your job, you may find yourself losing your sense of identity, your individuality- but never let them snuff out your fire.

#daily report #humor #horror #weirdcore #suburban goth #unreality #dreamcore

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wickedpact · 3 years

Text

heres a transcript of that gina & greg interview i mentioned yesterday. literally nothing new is in this, but theres a lot of info in this that was scattered in varying interviews/podcasts and i like having all of it in one place for future reference purposes

(link to vid)

Patrick: Hey everybody, this is Patrick Cavanaugh from comicbook.com here to bring you a very special conversation about Netflix's The Old Guard, which just debuted last week, and everybody has seen it-- I believe people have seen it by now, so that's very exciting. And to dive deep into this film, we're actually very lucky to have the film's director Gina Prince-Bythewood, who also directed Love And Basketball and Beyond The Lights here. Hello, Gina.

Gina: Hey.

P: And we're also joined by the film's writer, as well as the writer of the original comic book series, The Old Guard. Also, you might know him from his DC Comics work, Batwoman, and Lazarus, to name a few of his titles. We have Greg Rucka! Hello, Greg.

Greg: Hello!

P: So this film just first debuted last week, and I know you guys have been inundated with fans, just loving it. And let's just get to what fans want to know, right off the bat; I'm sure you're getting daily questions about this because there's so much for an expanded universe. So let's set the record straight: will there be a Tiger King crossover?

[everyone laughs]

Greg: Uh, we're planning an animated series with giant Mech suits, and, unbeknownst to a certain franchise, we're going to crossover with Transformers and-- no. Come on. [laughs]

P: Okay, alright, we’ll hold onto that big crossover stuff. And I know Netflix, of course, hasn’t fully announced what the future might be for Old Guard, but I'm just kind of curious if you guys have had any recent conversations about what you'd like to do in the future—theoretical, nothing concrete, of course. But since the film has come out and you've seen fan feedback…?

Gina: I will just say, obviously, it's an incredible compliment that people want to see more. It means we did our job in this. It was very important that this film has a beginning middle and end. We wanted to focus on this.

Greg: Yeah.

Gina: And get it right. Having people want more is an incredible gift and I would say those conversations were really… Greg and I, early on in talking through the story... knowing Greg knows where this thing goes --and it's pretty incredible-- helped me in terms of directing this one. So I will say we've had those conversations early on.

Greg: Yeah Gina’s absolutely right. One of the things that I'm really-- one of the many things I am proud of is that the movie is a whole, you certainly leave it going ‘okay, there could be more, I can see how there is more’. But it is a complete work. It is not contingent and does not need anything else. That said, there were plenty of times we were having conversations and would jokingly be like, ‘oh that'll be in the next one, we'll do that in the next one. We had to cut this so we’ll put it in the next one’.

P: I'm sure people would be very thrilled, as would I. So we’ll try to remain patient since it's only been out a week--

Greg: I think that's reasonable.

P: [sarcastic] I mean, fans are nothing but reasonable--

Greg: [very loud laughter] You know what 'fan' is short for right? Fanatic.

P: [laughs] So Greg, I'm curious. You know, since this is a pretty unique situation where you wrote the original books but then also came to write the script-- which doesn't always happen all that often. I was kind of curious what that process was like and if, when revisiting that core story, if you were tempted to kind of go off into a new directions, you know, uncharted territory? And how you managed to stay faithful to that story.

Greg: So when Skydance initially acquired The Old Guard, Matt Grimm and Don Granger were the guys that I was working with. And they were very clear that they had acquired it because they loved the source material. So when I was doing the adaptation, it was ‘adapt this story to be told in a screen format, there are changes that have to be made’. I didn't see it so much as like ‘I can go in a different direction!’ as ‘it's a really rare opportunity to have a second bite at the apple’. Most writers don't get to tell the same story twice. And even with the collaborative nature of comics, making a movie is far more collaborative. So… being able to benefit from a lot of very smart people-- and then when Gina came aboard, and working very closely with her on the screenplay, you know, taking her notes, and talking at length about it was… I mean, I love the comic we made, I'm very proud of it. But I think this is a superior story. Because it allowed me to fix mistakes I had made. And I think that it certainly works as the film that we wanted it to be, but it has a lot more nuance and a lot more ‘shading’ than the comics ever could have had. So yeah, I mean, I'm very proud of the work we've done.

P: Yeah, as you should be, definitely agree with that. And I know, Gina, you've spoken about how you treated the source material essentially as a Bible as the blueprint for adapting the movie. So a question kind of for both of you, I was curious what scene or sequence were you most excited to bring to life? And then what scene were you most apprehensive about whether or not you could pull it off as faithful to that original?

Gina: For me, I mean, there was there were certainly a couple... Joe and Nicky in the van.

Greg: [nodding] Yeah.

Gina: Such a beautiful moment in the comic. And I wanted to get it right. I knew the actors really wanted to get it right. As soon as we started shooting, I was like, 'oh yeah, they're killing it'. Also Booker in the mine, the speech that he gives to Nile, it's everything to his character. It explains both Booker and Andy; where they are, and why they are the way that they are in that moment of time. And I know that as a director, I saw a perfect take. But going into those, you hope that, ‘am I able to evoke what I need to evoke in the audience?’ I think that the hardest really was the Kill Floor, given how iconic it is in the comic. It's just so beautifully drawn by Leandro, it pops off the page. So ‘how am I going to be able to do the same thing on film?’ But it really kind of boiled down to ‘what is the story [of the scene]’ and really focus on that first, but also wanting to really give a bit of a homage to what Leandro did too, which was my use of silhouette throughout it.

Greg: Yeah, I think that… Gina just listed all of the scenes. I mean, I wanted to see the armored car, that was enormously rewarding for me… I couldn't wait to see the killing room floor... You know, when we talk about moments of adaptation, I actually —and I thought this was really well handled in the movie in particular— Nile’s death wasn't wasn't easy in the comic, because it needed to have heart. You know, Kiki's performance and the way it's shot is just, it's phenomenal.

P: And obviously you can't really talk about this movie, which is this big action-fantasy movie, without talking about that scene between Joe and Nicky. I'm curious what both of your reactions have been to seeing that moment hit so hard with so many fans.

Greg: I'm overjoyed that we're able to give that to so many people. I am also frustrated that it's so overdue. While I don't think that either Gina or I felt that this was… It was important and special because it was important and special between these characters. But, you know, I mean I’m in that place where I recognize why we are getting the response that we are, and, I'm frustrated by the fact that it's 2020. And… apparently we're the first people to have done this? And you can say that about a lot of the reactions, you can say that about the reactions to Kiki's Nile. You can say that about reactions about Charlize portraying Andy. There’s a piece of me that's like ‘guys, we didn't invent the wheel here. All we did was show you, THERE’S A WHEEL HERE!’. So.

P: Yeah, it's interesting and it is frustrating that it is 2020 and we have to refer to this as an anomaly. That this is not the norm, that as you said, this is we're showing people that the wheel exists. And so Gina, you know, between having a film with two powered, seemingly super-powered characters, in a comic book adaptation, which is largely been devoid of such characters. [I think he meant to say female powered characters?] and being a black woman, directing a comic book adaptation— again, something in 2020 that we have to treat as a shocking revelation— I was curious, if you felt any sort of pressure about that on set, or if it was like just a confidence in the material, and support from your collaborators, that it wasn't even an issue?

Gina: Um, are you talking about the scene-?

P: Just the project as a whole.

Gina: There was a reason I took this film, because it moved me. It has to start there. There's all these things; I love putting a black female in the world, I love putting Nicky and Joe in the world, I love putting Joe’s character in the world. Those are all such incredible driving forces. But foremost, I have to feel and care about the characters in the story. And I did. And so, for me, it felt... I mean I was honored to be able to be the one to give these characters a life up on screen... or in that big screen in your living room. There's, of course, enormous pressure. Not only just doing a film, like the bigness of it. Certainly me being a woman, me being a black woman, and doing this when nobody has done it before… It's about proving myself and proving that women like me can do this, that we do like action, that we can shoot action… Just changing that narrative. So there's pressure to get it right and do a good job, but I feed off of that. It made me work harder because I felt like I absolutely had a responsibility to get it right.

P: And we've talked about Kiki a few times as Nile, of course. And Gina, I know you said it was within five seconds of meeting her that you knew she was the right one to play Nile. I was curious, how did the rest of the casting process go? Did everybody get hired that easily? Or was it a harder search to round out the ensemble?

Greg: Yes. I’m curious too!

Gina: You know, I knew going into this that I wanted great actors for every role and it's pretty amazing how many of my first choices are in this film. I mean Matthias Schoenaerts who plays Booker is an incredible actor and I knew I wanted him from the get-go. We were told he doesn't do films like this, but he wanted to meet, which was the first thing, like, ‘oh my gosh it’s on me, don't blow this meeting’ and he said again to my face, ‘I don't do these movies, but I love this movie’ and he loved the character Booker. And after that conversation and hearing my vision, he was in, which was amazing. Marwan Kenzari, I saw him in this independent film called Wolf—

Greg: Yeahhhhhh.

Gina: Phenomenal. And he was supposed to read for the part. We had a meeting over FaceTime. Then, Zoom was not what it is now. And it was such an incredible meeting. He was so passionate about the material. So passionate about the character Joe. So passionate about wanting to give that speech. His energy… I just said 'you don't need to read, like, you're Joe'. Luca Marinelli, who plays Nicky, I saw his audition. He has this depth to him, those eyes.. where you just, you felt everything, you felt his soul. But I needed to do a chemistry reading, as I would with any love story. And so, we flew him in to read with Marwan. They did this incredible improv, and it was so obvious that these two were Joe and Nicky. It was a really beautiful moment as a director to just… know, and I was so excited to show everybody what they had. It leapt off the screen, their connection; they’d never met before but, immediate connection. Chiwetel Ejiofor, I mean… [awed silence]

Greg: Chiwetel... yeah.

Gina: Yeah. To hear that he wanted to be in this and work with me on this, I didn't need anything else at that point. He's truly a genius. Charlize, you know, there are very few women who can work in the space and we believe them. And that's the thing about her work, and her action, we believe her. And we needed that for Andy. And of course she's a great actress, so it was, you know, that was kind of a no-brainer. So, lastly Harry Melling, you know our villain. It's funny, Don Granger, at Skydance, says you've done a good job with your villain if the audience wants to punch him in the face. Harry brought that reality of those templates of Mark Zuckerberg and Martin Shkreli and really rocked it.

Greg: I had, you know, I'm the screenwriter, right? And I am pretty much involved in the production at the director’s sufferance, and Gina was so gracious to want me present-- and more than that, want me present and say things, right? As opposed to ‘stand here and be quiet’, but I remember when Kiki… when they knew they wanted Kiki, like in that window before all the paperwork was done and so on. Throughout most of the casting I wasn't hearing a lot from Gina, just the occasional update. Like ‘I think we've got…’ and then the Kiki audition came in, and Gina, you called me, Granger texted me, Grimm texted me. And it was all the same thing. It was all ‘we have found Nile, oh my god, there were these two scenes and she had us howling in one and weeping in the other and she is perfect’. And the exuberant joy, you know, I remember you on that call being like ‘NO, THIS IS HER!!’. It's like, this is gonna be awesome.

P: So, and to open things up a little bit more to the actual mythology of the film and the comic book series, I think one of the coolest things is that this film doesn't entirely explore is why these characters come back to life? But we also don't entirely need to know that to just… witness this slice of time in their journey. So I'm kind of curious, maybe Greg you have more insight on this, but I'm curious if either of you have those ideas in your head of what the root of this, you know, blessing or curse, the curse of immortality? Or is that just stuff that's entirely irrelevant to this journey?

Greg: I think it's irrelevant… to the journey of the first film. That the story is a self-contained story and you don't need to know why they are immortal. And I think that the film actually does tell you, not specifically, but the film does provide you with enough information to allow you to draw certain conclusions. Because there are really a limited number of ways that they're going to get this way, right? We do not, for instance, see Nile fall into a vat of regeneration juice, right? That's not why Nile comes back. There is a mythology. We know the mythology. We know the why and that's for later. Yes, maybe it will become relevant to the story, but for this story that was told as it was told? No, you don't need to know why.

Gina: The striking thing, when I read the script for the first time was I didn't… I didn't care. Like, I didn't need it. And that surprised me because I know Greg had talked about another company who was interested in the project [Gina doesn’t say, but it was Sony lmao] kept asking ‘you have to tell us why though, in this story, an audience needs to know why’. He was absolutely right [for disagreeing with Sony]. Because I didn't need to know why.

Greg: It's the Rian Johnson School of, you know, it's Looper. ‘We can spend two hours talking about time travel or you can accept that we're in time travel. Which is it going to be?’ And I think that that is one of the most brilliant storytelling decisions made in the last 20 years in film! Literally 'here it is—DOESN’T MATTER, MOVING ON!’ you know.

P: Yeah. It's definitely a bold direction to take. And to have an issue with 'oh, well, we never learn [about the] immortality!' proves that you just miss the point of what the movie is, and that that stuff is kind of irrelevant for right now. Although I do kind of hope that because it's on Netflix someone's expecting like a post credit scene, but it's the autoplay feature, right? [Greg and Patrick talk over eachother, laughing]

Greg: We did talk about that button as a post-credit scene, the Booker [scene]—

Gina: That was originally supposed to be a tag.

Greg: And there was, for a while, the contemplation of ‘maybe we can still [put the Booker scene in as a post-credit scene] and really that'll be like a great big reward for those people who actually watch credits on Netflix. It’s like, you got a bonus scene!’

P: So another, you know, people are loving the characters, they're loving the performances, but also the action is so cool in it, and it feels reminiscent of some other films. But the urgency and efficiency of all of the action sequences always feel like they have a point, and they're not just ‘look what we can pull off this week!’ You know, it's not John Wick on a horse fighting motorcycles because we don't need to do that. It's, you know, always to a point. So I'm kind of curious Greg, what does an action scene look like in your script? And then Gina, what was your whole motivation for putting these action scenes together?

Greg: I had two approaches in this script and used both. Sometimes I would write the sequence as you know, as a series-- this is what is happening, ‘he swings and then his head goes flying’ or whatnot. But knowing very well that unless the script needed to see-- because the script has to specify what is a must. It's a must. It's a must document. ‘We must see this’. ‘We must know this information’. So for a lot of the time, I would sort of drop into a narrative voice and say, ‘okay, now we watch the five of them proceeded to kick every ass and take every name that they come across and please bear in mind you are watching over 10,000 years of combat experience, combined between them’. And then that's the description of an action sequence, right? The screenplay… it's a construction document. It's not the interior decorator’s document. It's not even the Foreman's document. It's an architectural document. And then you give it to the Foreman of the whole production, who then goes, ‘I agree, these are the important things’, and then you get out of their way and watch them do the thing that they have, you know, become an expert at doing to make it happen.

P: Gina, what's your reaction when you read Greg’s script saying, ‘oh, you know, just five immortal warriors demonstrating 10,000 years of combat experience’?

Gina: It's like ‘oh shit’. [everyone laughs] Like that's a very cool thing to read—

Greg: But how do you film it?

Gina: Yeah, exactly! Then you start at the beginning of the scene and 'what character can we reveal in the scene'? And when you start like that, it's less overwhelming. Because the best action sequences for me, when I go to the movies, are those that have a story to them and that are character driven, that have an emotion. So I really started there in the vision of what they should be and just working with my incredible, incredible stunt team, Jeff Habberstad and Danny Hernandez and Bryson Counts[? I dont know who that is]. Designing these fights to tell this story, to showcase this part of character, to further the story. And that was important as well, that we never wanted this film to feel like… rushing through the story to get to each action sequence. All of this works seamlessly. The quiet moments are just as important as the action moments. And so that was exciting to me. But being able to tell the story, reveal character, that was fun. And then it's ‘yeah, how do we choreograph so it feels as if these characters finish each other sentences, so to speak, in terms of action, knowing where the other is going to be, knowing when somebody's out of bullets and need another clip?' Like all those things, the way that they're always picking up used guns and used clips, just this dance. And it was very cool, you know, to really put that together and see what the team came up with. And then to see the actors embody that, bring character, bring performance to that. Which is why it was so great that I had the actual actors doing most of the work, so that we can see that performance.

Greg: I think you used a word that I think clearly came from what Gina’s describing and talking about with working with Danny and Jeff and Bryson. Which is 'efficient'. Like, if you watch the film, you will see that there is only one sequence where Andy is ever firing more than twice, and it is on the killing room floor. After that, whenever she fires a gun, it's one bullet. It goes exactly where she wants it to go. Everything she does becomes an issue of ‘her style is efficiency—‘

Gina: Yeah, that was a big—‘brutal efficiency’ is a term we talked about often, where they know a kill shot. They are not the type that are going to go in an environment and spray. It's lazy and not who they are. They are not going to ever hit someone by accident. They are too good. And their moral code is not like an ordinary For Hire who are just trying to get the target by any means necessary.

P: Yeah, and also speaking to what I feel set these action sequences apart from other action films is, we're used to, you know, like thumping techno or hard rock or something kick in. You know, I don't think anyone had like, you know, Frank Ocean being in an action film on Netflix on their 2020 Bingo cards. So I'm just kind of curious how you put that soundtrack together and what that process was like.

Gina: Yeah. I love music so much. It's so much a part of me as an artist. And for me, I love songs for scores, songs that can evoke an emotion, and elevate a scene or the emotion of a scene without taking it over. And music for this film was so important, to the tone. It was such a balance. This is a violent film, yet I never wanted it to feel like a celebration of violence. The fact that there was a cost to the killing and then motion to the killing. So always wanted to keep that in mind-- and music really helped with that. There's also a thing of, you know, I'm the first audience and I actually don't like heavy metal. So, it annoys me when I watch a movie and it's this non-stop thump. In the rectory —spoiler alert— when Andy kills 19 people, the music I chose was important because it took away the sting of that. I didn't want an audience to revel in ‘oh my God, she killed 19 people’. No, it was ‘she killed 19 people and you see on her face that this was not fun, this was not easy’. You see that on Nile’s face when she walks out, and the music helped that. I wanted the music to feel operatic, because what happened in that room did have that depth of emotion, so music again— so important for vibe and tone and it was fun to find these songs that could do exactly what I wanted them to do.

P: Greg, the narrative is definitely very faithful to the first two Old Guard series and, you know, blends together in this compelling and unique way… Just as a —you know, we are comicbook.com— so coming from the purest sense of interpreting the narrative... [Greg laughs] like there's definitely the flashback with Achilles from the comic book, and then also the flashback to Booker's hanging scene. Those are our absent from the film. And I was just curious if those were ever in the script or if you want to rework them for the future…?

Greg: No, I mean we also had, in the original series, the flashback that sort of accounts the Joe and Nicky, ‘we killed each other’, ‘many times’ sequence as well. There were drafts where all of that was there. And sometimes in greater detail than others. There was a version where that hospital scene— [in the movie] you get just the right amount of… when Booker's relaying it to Nile in the mine. But, you know, there was more to that, and you can see sort of Achilles' story’s presence in the mine, right? There's a glimpse of the painting. So those things weren't erased as much as… when you make a comic, every choice you are making is an efficiency choice. ‘You have X many pages, how are you going to spend them?’ And I'm not a filmmaker. I'm the guy who wrote the thing. But one of the things I can tell you when watching is that it's the same calculus but exponentially. It is— every single thing you are doing is asking if it's serving your narrative. And I think the trade —because it is a trade— of the Achilles backstory to build the Quynh story has a benefit that the Achilles story alone didn't have, in that the Quynh story —especially as it's relayed in the movie— not only does it illuminate Joe, Nicky, Booker, and of course Andy, but it's also Illuminating to Nile, in a way that… talking about Achilles would have been repeating a beat. Because as beautiful, and as important, Achilles is to Andy's character… Booker conveys that heartbreak with his story, right? So it becomes an efficiency question as much as anything else. I mean, that that's really what it comes down to.

P: Speaking to some of the changes again, I don't want to get to spoiler heavy but there's definitely a big change with one character and their possible fate. Don't want to ruin anything for anyone, so trying to play it safe.

Greg: [laughing] Yeah, how are we supposed to answer this, Patrick?

P: Why don't we just text each other? [everyone laughs] Well, I'm kind of curious. One character's trajectory has changed a little bit. What were the discussions like over, you know, altering their trajectory and what that could mean, you know, for their future adventures?

Greg: Well, how do we talk around this?

P: Also, if anyone's been watching this for 40 minutes and hasn't seen the movie, they've got to adjust their priorities.

Gina: I would say, it was about adding more jeopardy and stakes. It absolutely did that. What I love so much about the story and what Greg created is that these characters are mostly immortal. So there is always that threat. But it just added another level to that. But it also crystallized so well… the fact that the moment that Andy is truly saying ‘I'm done’ a new Immortal shows up in Nile. So it just seemed to work really well and, you know, obviously having Greg be so on board with that and take it and run with it was really important.

Greg: It externalizes the conflict beautifully. And I believe I think David Ellison at Skydance likes the term downward pressure, I believe. [Gina smiles, Greg sees] Did you hear that? Did you hear that during editing? [Gina nods] But it does. Look, here's a fundamental problem; it's actually one of the problems at the heart of Force Multiplied: what's jeopardy to an immortal? Cuz it's kind of, you know, as Joe says, ‘what are you gonna do, tough guy? Kill me?’ You know, ‘if I go, I go. I don't know when I'm going’. So you you need to be able to inject into the story some level of jeopardy. You want to heighten the stakes. And it also externalizes that particular character’s conflict.

P: Gina, hopefully I don't put you too much on the spot with this question. But, you know, any time there's a big comic book project announced its, you know, fans start saying, oh, I'd love this person who's done action movies to do it’ or ‘this person who’s already done 10 Sci-Fi movies…’, you know, like Taika Waititi can't direct every movie.

Gina: I would love him to!

P: I'm just actually kind of curious, Gina, if there are any directors that you're particularly a fan of who don't necessarily have the same, you know, Marvel DC, Star Wars experience that that you'd love to hear get announced as tackling, you know, a big budget comic book movie.

Greg: I would like to know too.

Gina: Certainly, I'm excited about what Victoria Mahoney's going to be doing-- she just did second unit [director] on Star Wars, first woman to ever do that. I dig her brain so much and her aesthetic. I'm really excited to see what she's going to do in the action space, certainly.

P: Yeah, very cool. Really looking forward to her career for sure. And I think we're just about out of time here. We were down—

Gina: [raising her hand] Can I ask a question real quick? Sorry, I just need a definitive answer on this because I got called out on Twitter and I asked Greg--

Greg: [laughing] Ohhhhhhh—

Gina: So is Old Guard, is it a graphic novel? Or is it a comic?

Greg: You got to answer that Patrick.

P: Oh boy.

Greg: [laughing] Literally he's watching all credibility start to evaporate if he doesn't get this right. [holding up a comic of Opening Fire] This is a what?

P: I mean… part of me, knowing that it is part one of a three-part overall series… You know, my brain goes to ‘trade paperback’, you know, like it's a volume collecting a certain amount of issues. But if you ask me before volume 2 came out, it would be collected as a graphic novel, but… they're all comic books. They're all just comic books, everybody. Let's just take it easy.

Gina: Okay, thank you.

P: That's my answer.

Greg: Thank you. Thank you. I think that is the appropriate answer.

P: They're all just comic books. Take it easy.

P: Yeah, but I am curious. Of course, one of the interesting things about the film is that over the course of hundreds… thousands of years, these characters, the old guard have kind of influenced humanity in some definitely interesting ways… And ultimately for good, is a little bit of what we're seeing in the film. And I can't help but wonder… is it possible that the old guard could have unintentionally influenced the world for bad? And have some negative ripples come from their actions, or do I have to wait for a sequel for that?

Greg: I think that is a very reasonable and logical question to ask, especially when you know, there are 19 dead bodies lying in a church. You know what I mean? There is a certain amount— and it's almost fatuous to talk about it but there is always the doctrine of unintended consequences. I will say this goes to something else— and I'll say it really quickly because I know we're running out of time. I think one of the things that I really, really loved about what's being said, in the movie, is that at the end of the film… The definitive statement is, if you take away everything about immortality, what it's saying is that… our choices matter and our actions matter and they matter in ways and to people that we will never see and never know of. We try to put right in the world by doing right. And we do that without ever seeing what the ramifications of it are. And sometimes we're going to succeed, gloriously, and sometimes we're going to fail and we may never know that either, right? It's the choice paralysis that that you get from cheating in The Good Place, right? I can't eat or drink or move because morally it's all wrong, right? But the takeaway from the film is that, ‘yeah, your life matters and what you do with it matters and it matters to people that you're never ever going to see.’

P: So yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's a great positive, you know, message for us to leave on. And I definitely think that comes across in the film, especially, you know, from the characters like Joe and Nicky just professing… you know, it's about the time that you have. And you don't know when your number is going to be up. So you just try and do as many good things before that happens as you can, and hopefully the world responds to that. So I really connected with that message in the film. Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me. The Old Guard has been out for… five days. So I look forward to reuniting--

Greg: Does it feel longer to you. Gina? It feels like it's longer for me. [Gina laughs]

P: I look forward to reuniting in maybe 10 more days to talk about the sequel and spin-off and the prequel and all that sort of thing. [Greg laughs] But for now, The Old Guard is still on Netflix. And of course don't be tricked into watching any post-credit scenes because you might end up watching, you know, The Great British Bake Off. Well, thanks so much guys, it was a pleasure.

#tog interviews #i dont remember the tag i use for transcripts

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100hearteyes · 4 years

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Clexaweek 2021: Day 3 - Reunited (a summary)

Several months after Praimfaya, Clarke is roaming the now deserted Earth without a destination. All her friends on the spaceship actually died (ship exploded after take-off); there’s no Madi either. So she’s roaming the desert when a portal opens and out comes.... her doppelganger.

After a less than warm introduction, because it’s Clarke (and there’s two of them now), Clarke 2 tells Clarke that they don’t just look alike — she’s her but from another world and her name is Ruby. And she makes her an offer (mind you, Clarke is desperate and 100% she is going to die sooner or later): trade places with her. Ruby will stay in the desert, where she actually has the tools to survive, and Clarke can take her place in her own world.

Clarke’s like 🤔 a chance to actually live a life 🤔 know what could’ve been in a different world 🤔 well what the hell, I’ll take it. So Ruby hands Clarke an object that allows her to travel ONCE to another world and they part ways — Ruby stays in our Earth, whereas our Clarke goes to that other world.

Clarke lands in a 16th century style palace bedroom. She barely has time to collect her bearings when the door opens and---

---in full 16th century noble garb, looking heartbroken, when she suddenly sees Clarke and... she nearly faints.

Sixteenth century Lexa goes totally neurotic because her Clarke just died so who is this imposter??? And she knocks Clarke down and is about to kill her (as if she could bring herself to do it) when the door slams open and---

Yes. Another one 👀 two Lexas. Clarke’s lil bi heart can’t take this.

This one is dressed completely different, a lot more sci-fi, almost like a modern deity. And she just comes in and MIB’s the first Lexa and Clarke is like WTF IS GOING ON HERE??? But also-- LEXA????

This Lexa, we’ll just call her Lexa for the sake of both our collective sanity and the story because Lexa is you-know-what, helps Clarke up and asks her to come with her, to which Clarke is like lol no, explain first. But Lexa’s all like annoyed eye roll and look we don’t have time, I promise I’ll explain everything if you come with me. She also assures Clarke that 16th century Lexa will be fine, she just won’t remember what happened.

Anyway, Clarke goes with her and they enter a sort of palace/tower in the middle of space or like in a rift between worlds. There’s a big room there with an oval/round table, which is basically a database for every single Clarke and Lexa in existence. The building is called The Observatory.

Lexa explains that there is a multitude of universes and timelines where the two of them exist. A lot of their iterations have different names, but sometimes they’re called Clarke and Lexa. Those are like their “purest” versions.

So, yes. They’re soulmates. Obviously.

And there is always a Clarke-Clarke or a Lexa-Lexa watching over all of them, making sure everything runs smoothly. Which is what Lexa does. When an Observer dies (time passes normally for them) another takes her place.

Basically, in this AU, every Clexa fic that’s ever been or ever will be written is canon.

Anyway, Lexa tells her tat the Lexa-Lexa or Clarke-Clarke that becomes the Observer is one who has passed away too soon. And Clarke is like 👀👀👀 so are you MY- but Lexa shuts that idea down very quickly.

So what happened to this rogue Clarke? A Clarke aka Ruby has been killing other Clarkes for a while but Lexa has no idea why and she also doesn’t know WHICH version of Clarke she is. There’s millions, billions of their iterations.

She killed 16th century Clarke (whose name wasn’t Clarke), too.

And why can’t Lexa just go after her in Clarke’s world? Because while you can detect anomalies (like a live Clarke in a dead Clarke’s world) you can only locate Clarkes or Lexas if you know WHO they are. Also, the Observer can’t stay in any world for longer than two weeks.

Clarke asks Lexa why she didn’t just go back to her world after being sort of brought back to life. Lexa explains she’s only allowed a short total amount of time in her original world and she already used some of it a long time ago when she went back to help her soulmate when no one else would. Clarke, remembering how her Lexa showed up in the City of Light to help her, says it must have killed Lexa’s Clarke to lose her a second time. Lexa says it was just as painful for her.

And she can’t stay on HER original world for longer than a day — otherwise she dies/disintegrates (and another Observer will take her place.

Clarkes and Lexas are supposed to live out their lives without outside interference. In some worlds they know about soulmates, in others they don’t, bu they need to live in their own worlds and timelines. The Observer observes — everything else is considered tampering with how things are supposed to be. So the time limit rule is meant to keep her from influencing other Clarkes and Lexas and from going back to her own world.

So Lexa can’t just jump into Clarke’s world going after Ruby because it might take too long to find her.

Still, they have a name now, thanks to Clarke — Ruby. So they look it up... Only to find out there’s like a thousand Rubys. Obviously they can’t find a ruby needle in a haystack so they try to understand why Ruby would go on a soulmate killing spree. Clarke and Lexa start visiting every world and BONDING and shit.

There’s also some soul searching on Clarke’s behalf because she’s struggling between being sad about Lexa but also mad because once again she was left behind. And Observer Lexa helps her sort through all those feelings, and our Clarke starts maybe developing some feely feels for this Lexa but also feels GUILTY.

And this one time there’s something Lexa says that makes the lightbulb go off in Clarke’s head.

What if Ruby never had a soulmate?

What if there was never someone meant for her in the first place?

Lexa counters with the fact that several iterations of them never even get together, that being someone’s soulmate isn’t binding — there’s still a choice. But, Clarke says — how heartbreaking would it be to never have a choice at all?

You can never make the wrong choice or the right choice. You can never change your mind. And it’s heartbreaking to have that choice ripped away from you.

That’s Ruby. She never had a choice. And, as they find out eventually, she comes from a world where soulmates are a pretty big deal. Upon finding out by accident that there are billions of Clarkes in millions of other worlds who have a Lexa, while she — sue to some crazy glitch of the universes — had that choice taken away from her, her excruciating pain turned into something ugly. And she decided to start killing Clarkes, so Lexas all around other worlds would feel HER pain.

And that’s how Clarke and Lexa realize what was missing: the numbers didn’t add up. The sum of Rubys with living and dead soulmates didn’t match the total number of Rubys — because there was one whose soulmate was neither dead or alive. She never existed in the first place.

So they manage to filter out all the other Rubys and find the right one. Lexa’s intention is to stun and arrest her, but Clarke is a little more practical and just takes a gun.

Before they go, though, Clarke and Lexa have a heart to heart.

At this point, their feelings for each other are too strong to ignore. So before they go, Lexa asks larke to stay with her in the Observatory even after they catch Ruby. Clarke wants to, but she also feels guilty because she’s falling in love with THIS Lexa and it feels like a betrayal of HER Lexa. And she feels like she owes it to HER Lexa to make an effort to survive and build something in their world. So she tells Observer Lexa she can’t, because she can’t run away again like she did when Ruby came to her. She HAS to build humanity back up in her world. She HAS to survive.

And that’s when Lexa — nervous, tentative Lexa — asks:

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

So, yes. It’s Lexa 😌

(If you think about it - I didn’t mention it but - she knew which Clarke Clarke is right away. She didn’t ask, the Obervatory didn’t tell her. She just knew who Clarke was. Because Clarke has that scar on her forehead from when Emerson attacked her. And the moment she saw it — she KNEW.)

Lexa didn’t say it before because she knew Clarke would want to stay with her but she didn’t know if there would be any consequences. And if there were and it turned out to be impossible for Clarke to stay, then the heartbreak would have been all the greater, because they’d be losing each other a fourth time.

Anyway, Clexa reconnect and everything is beautiful but they still have a murderous soulmate to catch.

They teleport themselves to a spot close to Ruby. Some fighting ensues, Clarke loses her gun, which ends up in Lexa’s hands, and Ruby ends up pointing her own at Clarke’s pretty head. And Lexa has a double reason not to dire that gun: one, she’s still a grounder and grounders don’t touch Mountain Men weapons; two, she’d be shooting a Clarke for all intents and purposes.

Ruby taunts Lexa about not being able to shoot her, pokes the bear a few times about how she’ll have so much fun killing Clarke — You wouldn’t mind, would you? After all, it’s just another one in a billion —, yada yada.

And then Lexa actually shoots.

And Ruby dies and Clarke runs to Lexa’s arms and Lexa is like, I thought I was over the violence, and Clarke pulls her to meet her eyes: We are now.

Clarke and Lexa go back to the Observatory and Clarke asks if it’s actually safe being there, if she or Lexa won’t be harmed for it. And Lexa tells her she’d been thinking about how everything happens for a reason and maybe, just maybe — maybe this WAS always meant to be their second chance.

(Or third. Or fourth.)

So they stay there and live out their days together traveling between worlds and making a home for themselves in the Observatory. Their maybe someday has arrived at last; they owe nothing more to their people.

#Clexaweek21 #Clexaweek21 Day 3 #Day 3 reunited #reunited #clexaweek #clexaweek2021 #mine #my fics #sorta #all great things

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lokis-little-kitten · 3 years

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Teaching Assistant 2

Title: Teaching Assistant Writer: Lokis-Little-Kitten Pairing: LokixReader Rating: Mid Warning: spankings, mentioning of masturbation, ED, college, teacherxstudent Summary: You get a job as a teaching assistant for you professor Loki Laufeyson. Quickly the relationship takes a turn when Loki offers to teach you the robes of BDSM.

‘’Print Goddamit,’’ you scream at your small printer when it refuses to deliver you your story. You had gotten up in time to print those damn papers but nothing… It was on and everything.

Angrily you slap your Laptop closed and put it in your bag. Another class awaits you in a moment. You pack up your things and leave for your class. A nervous tingle is in your stomach. This will be the first day that you’re the official teaching assistant from Professor Laufeyson!

‘’There is my bitch,’’ Dimitri calls out when he sees you on campus. ‘’I can’t believe you managed that girl.’’ He pulls you into a tight hug while congratulating you. ‘’Thanks,’’ you shyly reply.

Then the interrogation starts. Dimitri asks you a thousand questions about yesterday. He buys you your coffee and then you leave for class.

Meanwhile in professor Laufeysons office. He walks in and turns the lights on. He runs a hand through his glorious hair before striding to his office. The professor gets everything ready for the day when he suddenly notices his printer. A stack of papers hangs out of it and some lay on the ground.

He sighs deeply and starts to gather it. My Pleasure. Y/N Y/L/N. He frowns deeply. Why would you randomly send this to him? Probably he just needs to read and correct it, it wouldn't be the first time a student wants him to read their work. Sending it ten times, however, is a little overdone.

He takes a map and places one version of it. Afterwards, he bins the leftover papers since they are unnecessary now. Loki starts to prepare for his first lecture then pushing the story to the back of his head. He’ll read it when he has time.

The day passes quickly full of lectures and students asking all kinds of questions. He gets quite some papers turned in that are to be graded before he can return to his office. When he arrives you are waiting on the bench for him.

‘’Punctual are we,’’ Loki sighs unlocking his office, ‘’I didn’t expect you for another ten minutes?’’ He gives you a look as he lets you in. ‘’My professor let me go earlier, professor…’’ He nods a little and closes the door behind himself.

Loki takes out the papers he received and lays them out. ‘’These need grading. The only thing I expect you to do is grammar and spelling check. I want you to be stern and merciless, think you can do that?’’ Quickly you nod as he hands you a few papers with a red sharpie. ‘’Yes professor…’’ You lay it down on his desk and start the job immediately.

The grading takes a long time but that’s fine. You learn a lot from it. After a few hours, Loki puts away his marker again. ‘’Could you please go get me a black coffee?’’ he hands you five pounds while still reading.

‘’Yes… Of course!’’ You take the five pounds and grab your jacket. ‘’Go get yourself one as well.’’ You look a bit surprised when he says that and not. ‘’You drink latte’s, don’t you,’’ Loki frowns while thinking, ‘’get yourself one of those.’’ ‘’Thank you.’’

Quickly you get to the cafe close by to get the coffee’s that one cost one pound fifty so you have two pounds left to return to him. When you return you notice the new stack of papers in need of grading and hold back a sigh. This is your life from now on…

The next days go the same until it is finally weekend! Glorious weekend! Loki has been the same cold, stern and rude professor to you the whole week and you can’t wait to take a well-deserved break!

You spent your weekend, writing, working on Saturday, drinking coffee and watching movies. Your quite a domestic person. You like being at home without anyone else but you love the occasional party as well.

Loki lives further from Campus. You are still in the dormitory but have a room for you alone now and made it your own. It is a bit of a maze because of the closets, bed and other things but it is yours.

You again try to print some of your stories but again your printer refuses to spit out the papers. You mumble something rude and then decide to leave it alone. You’ll print at Dimitri’s later or in the library.

Back at Loki his office he just came to bring some graded papers and get some other things. He walks in and lays the stab of essays down when he notices his printer is on and loads of papers are printed once again. He gets the papers quickly before pulling the plug from the damn thing.

Again you… He should have a word with you that you shouldn’t abuse his printer like this. He gets the map in which he placed the other stories you sent him. He takes those home too, he might as well read them then.

When he gets home to his flat on the top floor of a large building he sits down on a chair near the window while looking out over his beloved city. He starts to read the stories with a flaming red Sharpie in hand to point out all of your mistakes.

Soon, however, it becomes clear that this is not what he expected it to be, at all… The more he reads the deeper the frown on his forehead gets. What were you thinking? He needs to have a good talk with you Monday…

Back home you are seated on your four-poster bed watching a show before bed when you get a text from the professor.

Professor Laufeyson.

We need to talk. It’s important. I have already informed your teachers you won’t be coming to class. I require you to be at my office at 9 AM, you better be there on time!

Y/N Y/L/N Yes Professor. I hope it is nothing too serious?

Professor Laufeyson. I’m afraid it is Miss Y/L/N. I will see you tomorrow.

Nerves are tangled in your stomach. You have been awake almost the whole night. You worried about the situation you got yourself in. What happened, what did you do? You feel like a small child again, kicked out of yet another family for no reason…

You are now seated on the bench next to his office unable to keep your mind straight. Hot tears burn in your eyes from pure fear of the professor…

When he finally turns around the corner he doesn’t even acknowledge you. No look, nod or ‘good morning’ he just walks past you and opens his door. He eventually does call you in and tells you to take a seat.

When you sit down you feel scared and small, even more now you are in the presence of Professor Laufeyson… He looks at you sternly for a second before opening his bag and pulling out papers. You frown a bit. What is that?

‘’Do you understand that it is highly disrespectful to send your professor such rubbish? If you weren’t my teaching assistant and liked you I would step to the dean right away.’’ You look at the raven-haired man with large eyes. Whatever is he talking about?

‘’I’m so sorry professor but I don’t know what this is about,’’ you carefully chime in. He slaps the papers on his desk. ‘’So you didn’t write this rubbish?’’ ‘’Write what?’’ ‘’You really do not know what this is about?’’ He stands up and walks around his desk to the side where he leans on it again.

‘’His hands tangle in hers when his large dick thrusts into her. She screams out while he simply groans. Legs are tangled while Jonny thrust into her womanhood with great force.’’ Tears start to gather in your eyes.

The stories were printed out here that's why your computer kept saying it was printed but your actual printer didn’t do a thing… That means he read it. Your secret is out and you will be expelled for it! How did this happen to you?

‘’Jenny her hands tangle into the ropes Jonny tied her up with.’’ He sighs deeply and walks towards the fireplace. He is now behind you while tears start to stream down your cheeks. This can only happen to you…

You can feel Loki his presence right behind you. He throws the papers in front of you. They are full of red marks. Oh no… He actually read it? You expected that he would have stopped after he found out what it really was…

‘’I’m so sorry. I tried to print them at home. They were never supposed to get to you, professor. I swear it is just a misunderstanding!’’ He lets out a sarcastic laugh. ‘’It better is! It is clear you never even met a treu dom… You clearly don’t know what you are doing or what that community really is.’’

Suddenly his large hand crawls up to your neck. ‘’But don’t worry, little girl,’’ he speaks in a now softer tone, ‘’I’m willing to teach you everything you need to know. If you agree to it of course.’’ You swallow unable to say a thing.

What is he proposing? For you to become… To become his sub? What does that even really mean? He is right after all, you don’t have an ounce of experience.

‘’I…’’ You don’t know how to reply. Do you want this? Do you want this with him? You have to admit you had the occasional fantasy about him in the bedroom but that won’t be a reality. Maybe you want to find out what that reality is?

‘’Tell me, little one, are you going with my offer?’’ ‘’Yes.’’ He leans in further until his lips are right next to your ear. ‘’Good. Rule number one then, always address me with Master, understood?’’ You take a deep breath before replying.

‘’Yes, master.’’ ‘’Good girl.’’

Permanent Taglist @sherlocksuperfan666 @ms-marveleous @straya4lifemate@ lexiiiii28 @ thegoddessnyx02 @marvelfangirllll @gingers-writing king-stony@mr-hiddlestons-pet@ dark-night-sky-99@metalheadspider @fuckthatfeeling @ god-save-loki @ devilbat @mariekoukie6661 @darkprincessloki92 @ gravitational-anomaly @ welpsher @ umi4724

Loki Only Tag List @bambamwolf87, @mr-hiddlestons-pet, @meyoko10 @notan-applepielife @suchannoir @deputy-orange-juice @wolfcore227 @green-nightlight loving-life-my-way

#loki #lokixreader #lokilaufeyson #lokiofasgard #lokiodinson #student x teacher #teacherxstudent #lokixstudent #lokixreader smut #lokifanfic #lokitheseries

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sangennaro · 2 years

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You know what? I think that 'actual fucking' was one of your best records I used to play 'baltimore' all the time at this regular Sunday night gig I had in a pub, and people always came up and asked what it was and I had the same "what's this" "it's cex" "sex, like having sex?" "No cex, like c e x" conversation haha But what's the deal with that record, it stands out as an anomaly in your catalogue. Is it a sound you might revisit?

Oh man, I do not hear this often and it makes me smile to hear it. So in fall of 2002 there's the Paws Across America tour, which was the first time I ever did 6 straight weeks at all, let alone headlining. I move from Baltimore to California that winter, driving solo from east to west coast and almost not making it in time for New Year's Eve after The Wayback Machine blew up near Green River and big snow in Nevada threatened to strand me there. The Postal Service tour happens in March, which was way more successful than anybody anticipated. In the summer I did 4 weeks in USA/Canada and then 2-3 in UK/Europe.

In Europe I had DJ Beyonda on stage with me, but otherwise this was all just me and mic and backing tracks on a laptop-- the then-rightfully-distrusted/sometimes-outright-maligned (and now-totally-uncontroversial) Computer Karaoke technique. I was doing topic freestyles and an egregious amount of audience interaction/interrogation/instigation, but I was playing with lots of band-bands at the time, and the envy I had for groups that could Jam a familiar song spontaneously into unforeseen territory became too much to bear--- Nice Nice, from Portland (who I somehow managed to cajole into being my backup band for a short West Coast tour where we recorded the foundations for AF) in particular.

I was playing so much and expecting to continue playing so much that I knew I needed a much more musically malleable situation on-stage or else I would go mad and self-destruct. Risk, too, was a factor-- the solo show had started with the immense risk of being completely howled/chased off the stage: playing non-dancable electronic music, Playing the Laptop, being silly/goofy, being a White Rapper, any of these things were liable to provoke hostility from audience members in the end of the 90s + earliest days of the aughts. But by the time of the Postal Service tour in 2003, there was no more risk like that. Ryan Shrieber, founder of Pitchfork, came to the Chicago show on the Postal Service tour, right? I admittedly had a Climax-of-an-80s-movie level night that night, but still it was weird to hear Ryan nudge me during the Postal Service set to tell me that I had stolen the show. The risk had been the whole point of the show, to me, the reason why I believed in it, and finding new ways to take dumb risks rapidly became even more urgent than writing new songs. Jam band, of course! A technique as non-grata in 2004 as laptop-jockey was in 2000 or goofy-white-rapper was in 2002. Risk + built-in spontaneity/malleability, it was a delightful solution.

So I did a short tour with Nice Nice which culminated in the recording sessions that formed the skeleton and much of the flesh of ACTUAL FUCKING, I think in March of 2004? That was right after Valentines Day weekend that I went to Chicago for crazy spontaneous cover-song recording session put together by Jessica Hopper, where I met Roby Newton & Cale Parks & Tim Kinsella, and cajole the immeasurably brilliant Cale into being drummer/keyboardist on the Cex tour planned for that July/August. On that tour I played a pair of Sp303s--which at the time was a pretty pleasing no-computer alternative to Ableton Live--- and most of the samples in those samplers were loops sculpted from the material I recorded with Nice Nice. Then I spent the next two years (which felt like a Peter Gabriel level interval, given that TD&H, BEING RIDDEN, and MARYLAND MANSIONS all came out within a 13 month period) on the final 5% of ACTUAL FUCKING, because I was convinced that if I didn't record some and mix all of it in a "real studio" that I would turn into a pumpkin, and have an extremely liner-notey CD+LP release etc etc.

Have you heard the Know Doubt EP? Those are songs Cale & Roby & I recorded while rehearsing for that 2004 summer tour-- it's basically AF minus Nice Nice.

I hope to revisit every sound of Cex again ("winding tighter round the center".jpg TK) but I am certain the path there definitely involves being on the road doing solo sets for a minute first. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if setting foot in all 8 of the titular cities would be key..

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eyelessjackspersonalbodypillow · 3 years

Text

Eyeless Jack w/ a stalker Reader pt. 1

I just imagine Jack having a stalker whos clumsy. Like he knows they’re there before they even actually reveal themselves. He can smell you, he’s just been seeing where this has been going.

Hes curious.

And you don't smell bad so its not like he minds. At least you didn’t smell like Jeff. God that man smells like a dumpster fire.

He thinks its weird that you stalk him though.

If you leave him small notes and flowers, he’ll be creeped out at first; but he’ll keep them in a pile in a drawer somewhere. It was almost endearing that you saw something in him. He almost pitied you. He didn’t understand how you could be so fascinated with him besides his anomalies.

He hoped you didn’t mind any blood that you might have seen

or the mess in his small little shack.

He honestly saw you as more of a guest than a stalker.

You were too dumb to be a stalker.

If he wanted too he would have killed you by now.

The one thing about all of this was that he hated you seeing him eat. He hated eating in front of people. It made him feel gross.

You know how you had your flash on that one time and you thought he didn’t notice? Yeah he noticed and had to hold himself from laughing.

He could count a few times that this happened.

He could hear you panic afterwards.

He couldn’t believe you were this dumb. It was almost cute.

The first few months of this he found it amusing, but he felt a small gut feeling of disgust when he smelled you outside of his shower.

So now you were a little pervert?

Cute. He was going to play on this now.

He could hear your heart rate speed up when he spoke out loud,

“You might as well just show yourself already.”

“I might even let you shower with me if you want to take pictures of me so badly”

it was obvious he was joking at the end but you were just in shock.

You had actually, never heard him speak until now. Well you’ve heard him mumble to himself but you could barely hear it. Not everyone has heightened senses like Jack. Not that you knew of his abnormities.

You thought he didn’t know. You were dumbfounded as you stood outside of the curtain shower. this was the farthest you had gone while he was awake. You felt like crying.

He knew you were there.

He sounded like how dark chocolate tasted. His voice was deeper than you thought it would be. Like way deeper. It was actually a little terrifying, but you wanted more.

what do you do now?

Stupid little Reader. You thought he wouldn’t notice you.

why are you surprised?

You finally decide to speak, your voice was smaller that your thought it would come out.

You have always thought he was intimating. Not initially because of his eyes. but because you have seen what he can do.

“You um caught me”

you managed to stifle a laugh.

This all felt so wrong.

you were frustrated.

You were really about to cry.

“You should really work on being more quiet. not that it would’ve helped. go sit in the living room and I’ll be out in a minute.”

what.

WHAT?

Authors note: I’ll write a part two later. I wanted to get some content up and I thought it would be nice to start off with a stalker reader cause I like the idea of it. this might sound stupid right now cause I’m writing this at almost 1 am after i took a nap.

#eyeless jack imagine #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta blog #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack imagines #stalker reader #x reader #creepypasta x reader #gender nuetral reader

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gureishi · 3 years

Note

I love reading your opinions on Saeyoung! I know I’ve thought about this in regards to Zen so I’m curious what your headcanons are in regards to Saeyoung’s future relationships post game with each member of the RFA and Vanderwood??

Ohhhh, thank you for this wonderful question, dear Lea! The characters’ relationships with one another vary so much depending on the route and the timeline. Even though it makes me sad (because of the glaring absence of one beloved character), I’ll write these for the SE timeline.

Headcanon: Saeyoung’s relationships with RFA+Vanderwood post-game

Yoosung

Saeyoung and Yoosung’s relationship is endlessly fascinating to me. They’re close—they’d both tell you that, if you asked—but their friendship in the game is actually very surface-level. Saeyoung keeps Yoosung at arm’s-length, and Yoosung honestly has too much going on in his own head to devote much energy to trying to break down those walls.

The fight they have toward the end of Saeyoung’s route is a huge turning point for both of them. Yoosung is genuinely hurt to learn that his friend had never planned on sticking around, and Saeyoung is surprised to find that anybody actually cares enough to be mad about it. He never really thought too hard about what would happen if (when) he inevitably had to disappear from his friends’ lives—but when he did think about it, he honestly didn’t think he’d be missed.

It is a huge deal that Yoosung gets mad, because it shows Saeyoung that his existence has had an impact on people. It’s after this conversation with Yoosung that Saeyoung tells you he’s willing to try and open up to you, too; Yoosung is the one who shows him that there is value in letting another person become close to you.

Later, I am absolutely certain that they are able to develop a real friendship: one that’s grounded in trust and mutual understanding. When you’re living in the bunker with Saeyoung and Saeran, if there is one member of the RFA who’s showing up unannounced with a backpack full of sweets and a big grin on his face—it’s Yoosung.

Jaehee

Jaehee needs to feel secure in her understanding of the things and people around her. She likes to be able to think to herself, “oh, here is why this person behaves this way.” And it’s for this reason that Saeyoung drives her absolutely crazy.

She respects him, of course—but begrudgingly, because he is an anomaly, a little piece of chaos in her perfectly-ordered world.

It is your love for him that allows her to wrap her mind around his peculiar existence—because Jaehee cares deeply for you (almost immediately), and she recognizes the look you get in your eyes when you talk about him. She may not understand him (or even want to)—but she understands about love.

Jaehee and Saeyoung are never going to be best friends. But in this timeline, Jaehee is one of your dearest friends—and for you, they will both try. Jaehee will make honey butter cookies for his birthday, and she’ll smile softly when she sees the look of utter delight on his face. He’ll ask her to bring him her laptop, and she’ll complain as he sweeps it from her hands—but when he returns it to her working ten times better than it ever did before, she’ll clasp his hands in hers, her eyes shining.

If she ever gets around to opening her cafe in this timeline—and I’d like to believe that she does—you and Saeyoung will go in often. He’ll annoy her by doodling cat faces on all the napkins—but he’ll always tip her 200% of the bill.

Zen

In this timeline, Zen immediately takes you in as a sort of younger sibling (yes, even if you’re older than him), and he's ready to go to battle for you, if he needs to. Like Jaehee, he feels almost instantly that you are someone special. He doesn’t quite understand why—but he knows that he wants to keep you safe.

A consequence of this protectiveness, of course, is that he becomes very suspicious of Saeyoung. He’s never trusted him (and for good reason: Saeyoung may be trustworthy, but 707 is anything but). Zen is worried that you won’t be safe with Saeyoung—and he’s not entirely wrong.

But: when Saeyoung reveals his real name, Zen is one of the first to use it—and he uses it repeatedly. Every time I play the Secret Ends, and the Vday DLC, I am hyper-aware that Zen is making a massive effort to call Saeyoung by the right name. And this speaks volumes to me.

If you let Zen in—even just a little—he will accept all of you (and he’ll do it with his whole heart). Zen understands what it means to feel like you don’t belong anywhere—to hide your true self behind a mask of pretense and positivity—to become someone else so you don’t have to look too closely at who you really are.

No matter which timeline we’re in, Zen’s success is going to skyrocket—so he’s not going to be around all the time. But when he is, it’s a party: these are the times that the whole RFA gets together again (and if you listen closely, you’ll hear the way he speaks to Saeyoung now—like he actually admires him. The feeling is mutual).

Jumin

This timeline is one of the roughest for Jumin, without a doubt.

The game doesn’t show us how deeply he is grieving—but he is. He has lost the two people who have ever made him feel comfortable in his own skin, and he no longer has anyone he can turn to. I’m not gonna sugar-coat it and say that everybody’s happy in this ending: they’re not, and even months (years) later, Jumin is suffering.

But here’s the thing: Jumin’s not the only one who loved Jihyun.

It takes Saeyoung time to sort through the complicated feelings he has for Jihyun, after everything that’s happened. He doesn’t forgive him right away—and even as he mourns him, he’s angry, too. But time passes.

I imagine that there comes a day—weeks or months or even years later—that Saeyoung and Jumin find themselves talking to each other about the person they both loved. Perhaps they are in Jihyun’s apartment, sorting through his things—or they find themselves alone together at a group event and—at last—one of them acknowledges the grief that permeates the negative space between them.

Jihyun leaves a gaping hole in both of their lives that nothing can fill. But I’d like to think that an understanding develops between them: they may never completely get one another, and it’s okay that they don’t. There is a deep and unwavering affection there—the kind of mysterious and unbreakable bond you only feel for someone who has become your family.

Vanderwood

In my personal post-SE timeline, Vanderwood sticks around for a while to help the twins deal with their father. I’ve written about it a bit (in my Human Again series): if they are able to find the records Jihyun was keeping about Saejoong, it would not be too difficult for them to take him down in this timeline. He has no leverage, here. With the brothers working together, they can expose him—and then, of course, they can really be free.

But Vanderwood doesn’t stick around forever—they wouldn’t want to. They have a whole life outside of taking care of Saeyoung; they have a hometown, and possibly even people there who are waiting for them.

But at least once a year—and never with any notice—Vanderwood shows up at your home. "Just wanted to see with my own eyes that the kid actually managed to keep himself alive,” they’ll say—and they’ll grunt and roll their eyes and maybe blush a little when you throw your arms around them and thank them for being the reason he stayed alive as long as he did.

Vanderwood really respects you, because when you tell Saeyoung to be quiet or sit down or clean up after himself, he does it. They respect you, too, for your bravery and your strength and your resilience.

Neither one of them will ever admit it, but for a long time, Saeyoung and Vanderwood really did only have each other.

You’ll invite them to your wedding, of course. They won’t RSVP—but they’ll be there.

Saeran

I could write a literal novel about their relationship in this timeline and how it develops (and ummm maybe eventually I will), but I’ll try and keep this brief.

SE Saeran is so very tired. It takes time—so much time, exponentially more than the game shows us—for him to even begin to feel comfortable living in his brother’s home. He is physically sick, for a long time, as a result of the drugs he was being fed and the torture he was enduring. There isn’t enough space for forgiveness: there is barely enough space for living at all.

There’s no one moment when the two of them start to feel like brothers again: love and hate are so much more complicated than that. And Saeran has had no agency in his life; every choice has been made for him—his newfound “freedom” doesn’t feel like freedom at all. He feels he has been shuffled from one cage to another: his brother’s horrible, windowless home is no different.

But it is the small things: walking in the grass outside the bunker and feeling the sun on his skin; the way you speak to him, like you trust him; the annoying way Saeyoung follows him around, wide-eyed, trying far too hard to win him over—gradually, he begins to feel that he has a home, after all.

In this timeline, I do believe that all three of you keep on living together for the rest of your lives. You certainly don’t stay in the bunker forever—but when you move, you do it together.

And what’s most important here, of course, is that Saeran chooses this. It is perhaps one of the first choices that he makes for himself—and it sneaks up on him, taking him by surprise one day: he wants to keep on living together.

And this—living with his brother in a home that’s warm and full of love—is the only thing Saeyoung has ever wished for.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #headcanons #asks #quirky-and-kind #fwends 🥺#post-game relationships #se timeline

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coolnerdyandalone · 5 years

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on FIMQ deleting her content and COVID-19 (and a gratuitous larry fic rec)

@freddiesmyqueen first of all queen i hope you’re doing ok although i know some shit must have gone down for you to delete/private list all your videos and i hope you know that the larry community supports you always. Also your talent is TRULY unmatched in the world of video editing - no one makes edits quite like you and that’s why your loss impacts the community so profoundly.

secondly, i know at least i was hoping to turn to rewatching all of FIMQ’s videos while i’m being quarantined due to the coronavirus. and i’m willing to bet that i’m not the only one. this is a scary time and for people like me who feel profoundly alone right now, the only way for me to calm my nerves and fears is by reverting to the content and community that helped me feel not so alone when i was in middle and high school. For me, that looks like watching FIMQ videos and reading my favorite larry fanfics (which i will also link below). because of this i thought it might be helpful to repost some links that were posted by @bluemoonlarryandkaylor for a signal boost (if my teeny-tiny account can be called a signal boost).

link to a google drive with FIMQ videos: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ONwfLOd_IYvAL5OUDqDb_LLgQsDpd9il

link to an acct with some FIMQ re-uploads: https://www.youtube.com/user/Joana3961/videos

link to FIMQ vids with spanish subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIouodFhArMkQhOHxv2t2NgxTwl6KvXAT

and now if you want to look at some good old fashioned larry fics that are my ABSOLUTE faves and could 100% be actual novels/movies, keep reading:

And Then A Bit** by @infinitelymint aka the best fanfic ever written (basically larry fakes a relationship for publicity with each other and it could be cannon if you really wanted to hope upon hopes): https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415272/chapters/2972746 (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Escapade** by @haydolce aka the Jack McQueen fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034197/chapters/9071932 (146k)

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

California Sold** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157680/chapters/11877494 (123k)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Bring Your Body Baby (I Could Bring You Fame) by @theboyfriendstagram : https://archiveofourown.org/works/4263903/chapters/9652944 (84k)

Eighteen year old Harry Styles just graduated high school and landed a summer job as a waterboy for his favorite football team. His job description is simple: be ready to hand water and towels to players if needed. That didn’t seem to include Louis Tomlinson though, a twenty-three year old, recently transferred Paris Saint-German player, who seems to like making Harry’s job much more difficult than it has to be.

A self-indulgent AU that takes place over the summer of 2015. 18 year old Harry hates pining after people he can't have, and 23 year old footballer Louis loves flirting with people even though it never means anything.

Pull Me Under** by @zarah5 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766/chapters/1672104 (140k)

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

You You You** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/846690/chapters/1617212 (137k)

“Infamous boybander leaves club together with unknown,” read the headline. Underneath were pictures of a boy with dark curls, green eyes and very tight pants. They both studied the article for a moment, reading it through quickly. “Is that…?” Louis frowned. That guy almost looked exactly like... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" "Louis," Niall said, looking absolutely fucked over. "You just fucked the most wanted guy on earth. You just fucked Harry Styles of One Direction."

Or, the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

Like an Endless Summer by @horsegirlharry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365494/chapters/25442085 (87k)

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Three French Hems by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064493 (20k)

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

The Dead of July aka the Marvel Fic by @whimsicule : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594570/chapters/7928520 (117k)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

Gods & Monsters by @mizzwilde : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871 (201k)

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Love is a Rebellious Bird aka LIARB aka the orchestra fic aka dont hum bolero by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162438/chapters/2362331 (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

My English Love Affair** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873962 (19k)

The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody's supposed to find out it's about you.

The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose by @haydolce : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799241/chapters/13366498 (113k)

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Wild and Unruly aka the Cowboy fic by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723093/chapters/6099611 (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December)** by @greenfeelings : https://archiveofourown.org/works/15051122/chapters/34892210 (128k)

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

the boys of fall** aka the american football fic by @godgavemelou : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443037 (21k)

“And everyone, this is Harry Styles. He’s going to be our starting quarterback this year.”

Louis looks at him, the tall and lanky Harry Styles, and takes it all in. He’s got hair to his shoulders that curls at the ends, tattoos all down his arms, and a bright smile on his face as the team cheers him on. He’s lean and fit, and absolutely beautiful, and Louis hates him to the core.

OR an american football au where the boys play for the university of tennessee, and harry and louis quite hate each other.

** indicates that the fic is a log-in required fic, but if you want the pdf i can send it to you

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yoontopia · 4 years

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𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 | 𝗺𝘆𝗴

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: anti-soulmate au; light smut (in the form of making out, thigh grinding), angst if you squint, fluff, strangers to lovers, arranged marriage (kind of)

rating: M (for the light smut, swearing)

word count: 5.4k

summary: either you find your soulmate by the time you’re 25 or a partner is chosen for you, that’s the law. (un)fortunately for you, you were just born without a soulmate scar, an anomaly in a world defined by fate, so it seems your decision is made for you. you meet min yoongi the day after your twenty-fifth birthday and its everything but what you were brought up to believe. there are no sparks, no bells, and definitely no love.

author’s note: unedited because I wrote it pretty much in a sitting. will be editing later!

You are happy for Solhee. She’s twenty four-and a half and manages to find her soulmate by literally running into her outside the twenty-four-seven grocery store on the corner of the block. Solhee barely had six months to go before it would have been too late for her. The system assures you that you will find your soulmate, your other half, before the age of 25. If this doesn’t happen, the government intervenes and matches you with someone they see fit.

It wasn’t always like this. Your parents met when they were in their thirties, and are very much soulmates, if the matching marks on their wrists are any indication. But the government insists that anything after 25 is too late, especially to further the population. Society literally dictates that you’re married off by the time you’re 25.

You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t follow the law. And you’re happy Solhee doesn’t need to find out either. Solhee’s soulmate scar shines in the sunlight as the two of you sit out in the park, sipping on juice boxes and eating home-baked cookies. She tells you of her meeting with her soulmate, and the rush to get married so they can make it in time before the deadline. A plain, white gold band glitters on on her left ring finger.

“It felt like coming home,” she tells you, sighing and staring up at the blue sky. “Finding my soulmate, I mean. You know me, I never believed in this stuff. I figured if I didn’t find them, Big Brother would just hitch me off with someone and that would be okay. But I’m glad I found her in time. I can’t imagine it now if I hadn’t.”

You nod along, taking a sip of your pineapple juice. It’s sour, but you like it. Your eyes wander over to Solhee’s wrist — her mark is a small crescent-shaped moon — it matches the one on her fiancee’s wrist, and it stands out on her pale skin. You squeeze at your juice box to get the last remaining drop out, trying to ignore your empty, unmarked wrists.

Your soulmate mark never appeared. The latest you should’ve been able to see it would have been your 18th birthday. You remember, hiding away from your own party, rubbing your wrists raw, begging it to show up. Looking back, you aren’t sure who it was you were begging to.

Of course, you aren’t alone. There are several cases like yours. Marks that fail to show up, or even individuals who have the mark but don’t manage to find their soulmate on time. There is a solution for that — the matching program ensures you don’t end up alone.

After seeing your friends and coworkers find their soulmates though, you’re not sure you want someone to be arranged for you. It feels artificial and feels like you’re missing out on something incredible. What if the person they match with you doesn’t love you? What if you don’t love them?

It’s been a while since you’ve entertained such childish thoughts. You’re an adult now, almost 25, and this is a reality. In the next two months, on your 25th birthday, you’ll wait for the government to contact you. They’ll send you a name and then check in on the two of you consistently to make sure the match is happening. It’s not like you have a choice and you suppose its better than being completely alone and soulmate-less for the rest of your life. In a way, you’re almost grateful, as someone who doesn’t have the mark. You just wish things could be different.

You watch Solhee marry the love of her life exactly on her twenty fifth birthday. She glows in her dress, and as her best friend and maid of honour, you’re busy making sure the wedding goes by without a hitch. You’re the last of your friends to turn 25, meaning you’re the only one in the group currently single. Taehyung and Jimin, also friends from your college days, laugh and tell you to enjoy the last of your bachelorette days, but their entwined hands are all you can focus on. You know they’re just trying to make light of a rather depressing situation, and you’re grateful

You meet Min Yoongi on a snowy evening, the day after you’ve turned 25. He’s got curling dark hair, ears adorned by various earrings that dangle in the light. A delicate nose, and strong hands. He looks at you like he’s looking at a stranger, which for all intents and purposes, you are. You clutch at the letter in your hands with his name on it. You smile tentatively at him. He doesn’t smile back.

It doesn’t feel like coming home at all.

You move in with Yoongi as soon as the new year starts. He has a roomy apartment in the centre of town and lives by himself so its easier. He helps you move your boxes into his place. He never says much, but he’s never rude, or mean to you. In fact, he’s been polite, respectful — even caring, in a way you are to a coworker or an acquaintance. He shows you around his small flat. It’s two bedrooms, one of which he’s turned into a small studio. You know he works in the music industry, but aren’t sure what his exact job entails.

“I can move my work stuff to my actual studio at the company,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “If you don’t want to sleep in the same bedroom, that is. I don’t want to force you.”

You smile slightly, scratching your cheek.

“No it’s fine,” you say. “I don’t want to encroach. I promise I’ll stick to my side of the bed.” He nods.

“I usually work odd hours,” he says. “I DJ at the club down the street some nights, so I don’t come home until early morning hours. Usually I work from home during the day. There’s a schedule on the fridge.”

“Um, I work a regular 9-5,” you tell him and he nods again. “I’m home on the weekends and evenings.” It feels a little like drawing up a schedule with a roommate. You don’t really mind. It could’ve been so much worse.

Yoongi’s running a hand through his hair. You notice he wears a lot a jewelry, and file away this fact for later. His ears are adorned again with several earrings, pierced in multiple places. Bracelets clink on his wrists of various materials and colours. A single, silver necklace hangs around his neck, two fish swimming in a circle. He’s a Pisces, you realize. He’s been twenty five nine months longer than you have.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says, waving a hand towards his small, but cozy living room. A small couch and an armchair sit pointed towards the TV. A guitar sits in the corner of his studio, next to an old brown piano. Hints of music adorn the place, photos of Yoongi with his friends at various concerts and gigs. He looks different when he smiles. He has yet to smile at you.

You spend the rest of the day moving in, and its evening before you emerge from your now-shared bedroom with Yoongi. He’s nowhere to be found and the taped schedule to the fridge tells you tonight he DJs.

There’s containers full of food on the counter with your name on them, and you assume he’s left you some of his own meal. You eat alone, and do the dishes. You go to sleep that night, feeling no different from your usual self.

Months pass by quickly once you’re settled in with Yoongi. The two of you fall into an easy routine. You cook breakfast, and he cooks dinners and lunches are usually eaten at work. You split your grocery costs.

Honestly speaking, he’s a really easy roommate to live with. As time goes by, you get to know more things about each other. You learn that he likes meat more than anything else, that he has a tendency to overwork himself when deadlines are near. He has three close friends that he’s grown up with, and an older brother. His family owns a small brown poodle called Holly. His brother is a chef at a Korean restaurant in the city. You’ve met him once and liked him. He’s allergic to seafood, but eats it anyway because he likes it too much.

You also know he has, or had a soulmate. One time you caught him coming out of the shower wearing nothing but jeans. You were curled up on the living room couch watching TV and you could see him shuffling around shirtless in the bedroom, looking for a shirt to pull on. It’s the first time you see him without his usual bracelets and there is a mark on his wrist. You can’t make out what it is from where you’re sitting, but its there, clear as day against his milky white skin. An uncertain feeling curls in your stomach.

Until this point, you’d assumed Yoongi was like you — wrists bare. But this changes things — either he’s never met his soulmate, or they aren’t around anymore, and you don’t know what’s worse. He hasn’t spoken about it, and you almost understand why. It’s not like the two of you are close. Everything you know about him, you’ve gleaned from information you’ve received indirectly. You understand now, why he keeps you at an arms length.

You catch up with Solhee and Jiyeon over brunch. The two are bright eyed, fresh off their honeymoon. Hands entwined under the table, giggling. You laugh along with them, forgetting for a minute about your situation, that is, until Solhee brings it up.

“So how’s Yoongi?” The question is casual, but you know it’s a loaded one. Solhee isn’t just asking how Yoongi is.

“Fine,” you pick at your food. “He’s asleep right now — worked till late.”

“Hey he’s the DJ at Tropical right?” Jiyeon asks, leaning forward. “The popular one.” You’re dazed. Six months of living with him and you don’t even know which club he works at. You nod anyway, not wanting to appear clueless. “I heard he’s really good. Taehyung knows of him through Seokjin.”

“Kim Seokjin?” You ask, surprised. It’s one of Yoongi’s friends. Jiyeon nods. “He owns the club.”

“Hey we should go check him out one night!” Jiyeon is excited, and clueless. You smile half-heartedly at her and Solhee sighs. “Tae can get us into Tropical on the day Yoongi works — when does he work?”

“Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays,” you reply. Jiyeon nods.

“So… who’s down for it tomorrow?”

The club is sweaty, and crowded. You’re here without telling Yoongi, a fact that already makes you feel guilty for some reason. The strapless number Solhee had forced onto you clings to your skin as you follow your friends towards the bar. You haven’t been to a club since university and you can’t help but feel a little out of place.

“There he is!” Jiyeon screams, pointing towards the small stage at the other end of the dance floor. Sure enough, Yoongi stands there, two laptops in front of him. His hair is tucked into a baseball cap, but other than that he’s dressed the way he usually is, in jeans and a silk button up. The music is loud, and your heart thumps in your ears. “Let’s go closer!”

The three of you make your way closer to the stage, maneuvering past the sweaty, drunk bodies. You can barely make out the music he’s playing, and you know barely anything about music to know what’s good and what’s not. He must be good though, if the crowd is anything to go by.

Solhee pulls you and Jiyeon into a corner next to the stage with a good view and the three of you stand there bopping along to the music. Even though you barely know him, you have a strange feeling of pride curling up inside you. He’s incredible.

Your eyes glaze over the crowd until they land on a woman, standing only a few feet away from the three of you, one arm crossed under her chest, the other caressing her chin. She’s also watching the stage, a smile on her face. The world seems to spin for a second because your eye catches the mark on her wrist, and you don’t have to double check to know that it matches the dark haired man on the stage.

The night goes from bad to worse when Yoongi jumps off the stage after finishing his gig, and she runs up to give him a hug. You feel like throwing up, but nothing compares to what you feel when his eyes find you over her shoulder.

Things quickly sour after that. The peaceful relationship the two of you shared previously is shattered. You avoid him on the nights he’s home, preferring to crash at Solhee’s, who’s more than happy to accommodate you. Jiyeon apologizes profusely but you cannot blame her, not when none of this is her fault in the first place.

“Don’t you think you should let him explain?” Solhee asks one day over dinner.

“There’s nothing to explain,” you say automatically. “Their marks are there — it’s self explanatory.”

“What a harsh system,” Jiyeon adds softly. You nod. If there was a way for Yoongi and his soulmate to be together, you’d want it to happen. Then maybe you wouldn’t feel like an awkward third wheel. “Do you think they found each other after the deadline?”

“Definitely,” Solhee nods. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have been matched.”

“I don’t want to come in between anything,” you say softly.

“Oh honey you’re not,” Solhee says. “None of this is your fault.” You bite your lip, holding back tears threatening to fall. You haven’t cried in front of people in years. “It’s not Yoongi’s fault either. You should really go home and talk it out. He probably misses you.”

You choke out a laugh at that. The idea that Yoongi misses you is ludicrous. You were a nuisance to him at best, even though he’d been nothing but respectful of you and your space.

“What the two of you need is to spend time together,” Jiyeon says, and Solhee nods. “Get to know him, tell him he needs to come clean with you with everything. Maybe then things will see peace.”

You decide to go home that night. You know it’s a Tuesday and Yoongi should be home. Stomach in your throat, you shakily unlock the door to his—your— apartment. The TV is on, and Yoongi is curled up in the corner of the couch, swaddled up in a blanket. It’s only been a little over a week, but you find you’ve missed him. You find you’re also surprised he’s actually here. A part of you had almost expected him to take off. He turns to look at you and starts, hurrying to turn the TV off. It’s oddly clumsy from someone who you thought was aloof, and it almost makes you giggle. Almost.

“Hey.” You say lamely.

“Hey,” he replies back. It’s awkward. This is such a bad idea. Who decided confrontation was healthier than hiding from your feelings? You’d like to prove whoever it was wrong. You sigh, slumping a little, mind wandering again to the pretty girl that is his soulmate. You don’t usually hate how you look, but in this moment you can’t help but draw comparisons. Yoongi’s pretty too after all. Giving him a curt nod, you begin to make your way to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry.”

You pause, and turn to look. He’s standing up now, blanket still around his shoulders. A closer look tells you he looks tired. His ears are devoid of earrings for the first time, hair unkempt and greasy. He’s not wearing his usual bracelets — you suspect he only did it to hide his soulmate mark from you. You must be staring at him with a dumbfounded expression because he repeats his hushed apology.

“For what?” Your voice is just as shaky.

“Everything.” He says instantly.

“Do you love her?”

“No.” his reply is instant again, and you find yourself believing him. There’s no lie in his eyes. “I met her a month after we… moved in together,” A month after the government threw the two of you together against your will.

“Do you want to try things with her? I promise I won’t come in between that, I know how wonderful it can be to—”

“No.” He says again, his voice firm. He takes a tentative step towards you.

“Why not?” You’re genuinely curious. He shrugs, almost as if he doesn’t know the answer himself.

“Don’t want to.”

“Why not?” You turn to face him completely now. The two of you glaring at each other. He’s struggling to find the words and stares up at the ceiling in defeat.

“I don’t wanna leave you alone alright?” He snaps. You scoff

“Don’t pity me. I can take care of myself just fine. Did it before you came along too.”

“Don’t act brave when you don’t have to,” his voice is softer now. “You think I don’t hear you cry to yourself at night when you think you’re alone? Or when you hang out with those friends of yours and get suddenly quiet?” You open your mouth, then close it. Yoongi had attended a total of one party with you and your friends. You were surprised he picked up on it at all.

“But she’s your soulmate,” you say, confused. He shrugs and sits back down on the couch, flicking the TV back on.

“Yeah, she’s also someone I don’t know, and someone I’m not going to bother to know” he says easily. “I’m not gonna chase after her if it means losing a friend.” You didn’t even know he considered you a friend.

“B-but that night at the club?”

“Didn’t know she’d be there,” he says. “I’d told her to never contact me again the day I met her. Just because she thinks its okay to be unfaithful to her partner doesn’t mean I think its okay too. I’m not about to live that kind of life, especially with someone who thinks something like that is okay.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You take a hesitant step forward.

“What’re you watching?”

“Sky Castle.”

“Can I— can I join you?” He nods, patting at the empty spot on the couch next to him. “What if you regret this down the line?” You ask at last, sitting down on the other end of the couch. It’s your worst fear and you can’t believe you’re voicing it. “What if one day you wake up and wish you’d gone after your soulmate instead of settling for me?”

He smiles faintly, more to himself than anything. You think this is the first time he’s probably smiled in your presence.

“I made a choice already 5 months ago. Haven’t regretted it yet,” he says simply. He doesn’t deny that he settled for you, not when it’s the cold hard truth. You settled for him too after all.

The couch feels like home for the first time since you’d moved in.

Things change again quickly after that. You and Yoongi fall back into that seamless schedule, but now there’s a little something to it. The two of you are still far from a couple, but you find yourself curling up next to him in front of the TV more often. He waits for you to eat the meals the two of you are able to eat together. The two of you even do activities outside the apartment. You meet more his friends and he meets more of yours. Its progress. You don’t mention his soulmate again, and neither does he.

You find Yoongi’s actually a really easy person to get along with. He’s funny in his own dry, sarcastic way, often saying jokes with the straightest of faces. He snappish and straightforward and has an incredibly low tolerance for bullshit. His friends baby him, probably because of his smaller stature and childlike features, and although he grumbles, he lets them. You even think he enjoys it. He smiles more in front of you now, gums on display, and you know that his cold persona in the beginning was just a front. In reality Yoongi is a shy, awkward boy that finds it hard to make friends, and so he comes off aloof, but is anything but

It also makes sense to you why Yoongi had been so firm in staying with you all those months ago. He’s steadfastly loyal, never going back on his word, and even honest to a fault. Sometimes, when you’re in one of your self-deprecating moods, you think he only chose to stay with you because of his principals, and not because he actually cared for you beyond a friend. But you’re glad he’s here nonetheless. With all your friends paired off, you’re glad you have someone to do things with. Someone who, in a way, belongs entirely to you.

You marry Yoongi exactly one year after the two of you met. Non-soulmate matches don’t have the deadline to wed as soulmates do. As long as Big Brother (as Solhee so lovingly calls the federal government) knows you’ve been matched in their system, you can take things easy and get to know one another. How sweet of them to allow that, you think to yourself sarcastically.

He looks smart in his plain black suit, hair neatly parted, showing off his forehead and well marked eyebrows. He looks older like this. You wear a simple white dress, and carry a bouquet of lilies down the aisle. Yoongi doesn’t cry with happiness at the sight of you, but his slight grin warms your heart. You know that whatever the case, you’ll be comfortable with him.

He plants a simple kiss on your lips, a formality more than anything else. You and Yoongi aren’t physical. What you share is a platonic friendship, and you try not to let your mother’s suggestive wink cloud your mind. While you like Yoongi, you’re not sure you think of him in that way, and he definitely has never thought of you as anything more than a friend. Yoongi’s hands are warm and calloused and familiar, and you think you can learn to make a home in them.

“My parents are soulmates,” you tell him on your wedding night as the two of you lie on your shared bed staring up at the ceiling. “They met when my mother was 27, my father 32.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this. You’ve changed into your comfy PJs, but Yoongi is still in his dress shirt and trousers, top buttons undone, tie loose. You want him to know you.

“Mine were too,” he hums. You turn to look at him. You’ve never met his mother. His father and brother were at the wedding, but you weren’t sure if the topic of his mother was a sensitive issue. “Until things didn’t work out and she left him.”

“Oh?” Stories like that were rare. This is your first time hearing one. Yoongi doesn’t elaborate on his mother’s life and you don’t ask, grateful that he’s entrusted you with this information.

“I guess that’s why I don’t really believe in the whole soulmate thing,” he continues, sitting up and pulling his tie off. “There’s no such thing as fate or destiny. It’s all about choices and commitment.”

His soulmate mark is visible to you now as he gets up to take his shirt off and change into something comfier. It almost looks like a tattoo, a small fish, not unlike the one he wears in his necklace. The mark is familiar to you now, but it doesn’t carry the same pain. His words are new to you, having grown up around talks of fate and destiny, but you find comfort in them. Hearing him say it like that makes your heart warm. The two of you fall asleep easily that night, facing each other, but still a few feet apart

Yoongi’s eyes flash as you enter the bar. You’d gotten dressed at Solhee’s place and she’d sat you down in her chair, eyes devious, and done your makeup. You feel uncomfortable in your skin, face heavy with everything she’d slapped on it and you pull down your skirt.

“Cheer up, you look hot as fuck,” Solhee hisses beside you as the two of you make your way to the reserved table where the rest of your friends are. “If Yoongi doesn’t get a boner after this, I don’t know anymore.” You shush her hastily, ears going red as you sit down across from your husband. He’s still staring at you, something dark evident in his eyes, and you try to ignore the roaring in your ears.

Marriage had treated you two well. You still weren’t physical, but sharing pecks before heading off to work, or cuddling and hand holding weren’t foreign concepts anymore. You weren’t sure how far Yoongi wanted to go, and you didn’t know what you yourself wanted.

Yoongi looks good today. He’s wearing his infamous dark silk button up, with the top three buttons undone so you can see the column of his throat. His hair is parted and in the dim lighting he almost looks like a feline ready to pounce on his prey. You swallow.

Your husband’s beauty is not foreign to you. You’ve seen him shirtless before after all. You’ve seen his hands as they glide over piano keys or when they pluck at his guitar. Yoongi is beautiful and you can’t deny the attraction you have grown to hold for him. Your insecurities however, prevent you from verbalizing your thoughts. There’s just no way he’d be attracted to you, not in that way. Next to Yoongi, you look painfully average.

He doesn’t say much, just sits across from you and sips on his whiskey, occasionally leaning forward to snag a nacho from the shared plate the table has ordered. You wonder if he’s angry at you about something.

Halfway through the night, the several glasses of wine you’ve drunk catch up to you and you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. You’re trying not to stumble and you’re thankful you make it to the bathroom in one piece.

When you come out of the stall and are washing your hands, you jump when you see Yoongi enter the bathroom.

“Yoongi!” You hiss. “This is the girl’s bathroom—.” Yoongi raises a well-marked eyebrow, and walks up to you in two quick strides. Before you know it, he’s crushed his lips to yours. You’re taken aback but you melt into the kiss quickly, hands roaming up to grasp onto the front of his shirt. His hands settle on your hips before moving to grab your ass. You gasp and he takes the opportunity to explore your mouth with his tongue.

Dimly you’re aware that this is technically your first real kiss. He tastes like whiskey as he pulls you closer to him, shoving a leg between your thighs. You let out a whimper, and you can feel him smile against your mouth. He lets go with a pop before latching his lips onto your neck. You throw your head back with a groan, freely grinding on his thigh now as he licks a thick stripe up your neck and nibbles at your ear.

“Let’s get out of here,” he groans, voice deep. “Before I fuck you in this disgusting bathroom.” You moan at his words and make a voice of complaint when he pulls himself away. You straighten your skirt hastily and eye him, his lips swollen and smeared with your lipstick. He grabs your arm by the wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom, out of the bar and into the crisp night air. The two of you giggle as you walk to your apartment, Yoongi stopping you periodically to steal kisses.

You unlock the door hastily, and he pushes you in, slamming the door behind him and latching onto you immediately. You moan as his hands reach your skirt and pull it up over your ass.

“God,” he groans in between kisses. Your shaky hands are unbuttoning his shirt. You push it off him. “Please tell me you want this.” He walks you towards your bedroom, shoving you onto your bed.

“Yes,” you respond instantly, breathless, looking up at him. “Yes, oh god, of course I do.” He’s climbing on top of you now, leg back between your legs. You grind onto his thigh, wild moans escaping your mouth as he sucks a bruise onto your neck, his rock-hard erection prominent against your core. Your hands find his belt and take it apart, undoing the buttons on his jeans. He sits up to push his pants off him before reaching over to tug your top over your head. You’re left in a bra and underwear, your skirt bunched up at your waist, staring at him expectantly.

That night is simple, the two of you moving in unison, finding what the other likes. Your hands disappear in his hair and he makes a home in the crook of your neck as you reach your respective highs.

You fall asleep blissful and satisfied, curled up in Yoongi’s arms.

Your relationship takes yet another turn after that moment. Now its like the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other. Consequently you do it on every surface in the apartment. It’s funny, you think, you haven’t even said the L word to each other yet, and you’re not even sure if you do. Growing up, you were taught that one came after the other, but your relationship with Yoongi is anything but conventional.

At night, he holds you, curling his body around you like a child. You can hear his heartbeat this way, and nights soon become the things you look forward to the most.

It still doesn’t make the relationship easy. You argue, slam doors, ignore texts, but at the end of the day when you crawl into bed, apologies evident on your tongue, he pulls you in and kisses the crown of your head wordlessly.

You and Yoongi are solid; a team, almost. You think you work well together. Growing up you were taught that finding your soulmate meant ringing bells, and puzzle pieces feeling like they were slotting into place and you spent your entire adolescence craving that. But whatever this is that you share with Yoongi is special, in its own way. There are no sparks, no flashing lights, and definitely no bells. Now you know what Solhee meant all those years ago about the feeling of coming home. There isn’t any other way to describe this feeling.

There are many more turning points in your relationship that you look back on fondly — the day you told him you loved him is one you remember vividly. It was nothing special, just casual conversation over dinner. He’d given you a blinding smile and returned the sentiment.

“Do you regret it?” You ask, out of nowhere. You’re washing dishes and he’s beside you helping you dry them.

“Hm?”

“Choosing me, back then. Do you regret it?” You know the answer already. Gone are the many months you spent belittling yourself. It’s been a few years with Yoongi now and you know exactly where you stand with him.

“I wonder sometimes,” he hums. “How differently things would’ve played out.” Don’t we all, you muse to yourself. You could’ve been matched with anyone but somehow it was Min Yoongi that stood in front of you on that cold, snowy that day, unsmiling and unfamiliar. It feels like a lifetime ago. When you look at him now, he’s heartbreakingly familiar. You know him like the back of your hand. “But there hasn’t been a single day where I’ve regretted you.” You grin and poke his cheek with your soapy hand.

“Go wake Sunhee up,” you laugh. “It’s time to feed her.”

“Yes ma’am,” he tells you dutifully and you watch as he shuffles into the second smaller bedroom. Gone is the studio equipment, replaced with pastel green walls and a small wooden crib Yoongi had crafted himself. Sometimes, when you look in there, you can still see a dark-haired boy with his eyes closed, playing on that old brown piano.

#kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #min yoongi #yoongi fluff #bts #bts fluff #yoongi #suga #suga fluff

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leviiattacks · 4 years

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Two Faced | Chapter Seven

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 2.6k author note :: ofc the reader would still be considered to be a duchess which is why it’s duchess!reader but i guess there’s just more themes of war and titans etc than i expected. so i guess it’s also cadet!reader ?? i promise i have a plan OK! T___T. anyways i hope that’s alright and not very confusing the original premise very much still stands!! :D also i promise levi gets better maybe soon who knows... → click here for the next part !

It's understandable why she's noticeably alarmed by the shift in behaviour, the concept of Levi showing any inclination towards caring about you is foreign to the both of you.

"The Duke has also been asking me and Mikasa the most peculiar questions too."

You blink. "What sorts of questions?"

"Ones concerning your past" She begins and your curiosity piques. "Asked if you ever mentioned anything about your old life. Basic information, I don't understand why he would ask now."

"He asked about me?" You question incredulously. This is surreal.

Bobbing her head up and down you stare closely at her trying to figure out if she's serious and she passes your test with flying colours.

You don't know if you should be nervous or afraid, perhaps he shifted back to his loving self for a while? Thousands of explanations surge past you but you can't pinpoint what exactly could have caused him to ask such questions. As far as you know, he's never been interested in you unless a transaction has been involved. That's all it's been since he snapped out of the spell. A purely transactional relationship.

Sasha places a firm hand on your shoulder "Talk to him, figure out what's going on." Her suggestion makes you shudder, frankly you're fearful around him after the events of yesterday night.

Whatever sick and twisted mind game he's playing at you won't let yourself become prisoner to it.

"No," You shake your head simply. "This is another one of his stealthy tactics, I won't give into it out of desperation."

"All the more reason to question where his morals lay." Sasha is persistent. The anxiety is burning itself into your body and it's tough to disregard its presence.

If there's one thing you have learnt in your lifetime it's to put trust in as little people as possible. You have your confidants and are dedicated to keeping your friendships with them. Sasha and Mikasa are loyal at heart and their steadfast nature is incomparable. But, they are anomalies. As much as you would like to admit that there are many diamonds similar to those two you can't.

It's rare to find reliable individuals in this harsh reality full of wealth, jealousy and power hungry survival. Levi, is a man you refuse to put even an ounce of trust into.

Putting any faith in him is hazardous. His unflappable demeanour, self-control, the knack he has for long-winded and gradual manipulation. Distant, bitter and calculating. You think he wouldn't care less if you were to drop dead this instant. In reality you aren't a human being to him, simply a problem out of the very many he already has. So why the sudden interest? Why? What is it he's after this time?

You've signed your life away to this empire under the ruse of becoming an informant. You're risking your life for him. What more does he want to coax out of you?

Those are the thoughts that scuttle past you as you pace in one of the very many hallways within the estate. Your initial destination had been his office but you retreat. For now you choose to withdraw from a battle of words. You aren't prepared.

But life has a way of never letting you pick when you encounter him.

The sound of footsteps behind you is a blunt indicator he's near but you let your naivety pray it's simply a maid. "Cadet." And there he is. Snarling behind your ear, breath blazing.

Cadet?

He must be able to tell you don't recognise the name which rolls off his tongue, especially when the two of you aren't in a professional setting, its placement is odd.

"What? Do you think you're worthy of a better term?" He's taunting you, disgusted that you're dense enough to think you're deserving of any other title.

Arms clasped behind his back he takes a long stride forward, you take a step back in response, he steps forward again and you move in the opposite direction again.

"I'm not used to it that's all. I know I am no Duchess."

His raspy voice creeps into your ear "Get used to it. You are my subordinate, don't assume this is a level playing field."

"Do you hop into all of your cadet's beds very often Sir?"

The question comes out of nowhere and as soon as the words have left your lips you slap your palms over your mouth taken aback just by how easy it is for the impulsive side of your brain to defy him.

"Really?" He asks darkly, and when you narrow your eyes in bewilderment, he coughs, clearing his throat to begin again. "Are you willing to bring this up right now?"

He's as close as ever now, if he moves an inch closer his nose will brush against yours, it suddenly feels difficult to breathe but you swallow the struggle away still unsure if you can force yourself to reply to his question. Is there a right or wrong answer?

For once, you choose to be selfish and put your interests before anyone else's even if that means risking your safety in the process. You just want to understand for once how his brain works.

Balling your fists into two you manage to squeak out what you've been holding back "Do you pry into the personal life of each and every one of your cadets or does that special rule only seem to apply to me?"

"Do you give all of your cadets random days off?"

"Do you-"

He grabs the back of your ponytail with his gloved hands, his skin isn't directly touching yours but the firm grip he has on you doesn't stop your cheeks from flooding with warmth. Fumbling around you're about to scream when he pulls at your hair again jestingly, his other arm moves to securely hold you keeping you stuck in the position you're in.

"Levi." You squirm around awkwardly trying to escape his grasp but he doesn't find this at all amusing.

"Captain." His firm correction catches you off guard.

"Sorry. Captain." Your throat is dry as you croak out the short reply.

Straightening your back you try to shake off the hold he has on your hair but he only tugs your head backwards warning you. Your bare neck is exposed and his eyes slip to your half done buttons. Rolling his eyes he knows if it were any other male member of the corps even the oh so respectable and mature Erwin Smith who caught you like this they would fantasize about how you look underneath that flimsy button up. It's now slipping down one of your shoulders.

Moving the arm that has been holding you down he jerks the fabric back up your shoulder.

"I was under that spell of yours. You're naive to think there's any other reason." He returns venomously, his voice is dripping in poison determined to exterminate any of the attitude you've shown him in the past two minutes.

"Why all the questions about my personal life? I was informed you interrogated a few of my friends."

He tugs at your hair again, you tilt backwards. "What do you hope to get out of this? Find out I have some sort of secret feelings for you?"

In the blink of an eye your bubble has been burst, deep down you did hope that was what this was about. It's not that you would like for him to love you, you wouldn't mind it but, if he loves you your safety is guaranteed that's all that matters. That's what you tell yourself. You don't miss the old him no you don't.

The colour drains from your face when you hear what he has to say afterwards.

"Adorable." His tone is spiked in mockery. "How fond you are of me, but I have no interest in the likes of you."

Heart leaping to your throat the simmering rejection settles.

"And. If you must know, you were given a day off today because Hange insisted every cadet have a day of rest before we all relocate to the training facility's dorms." You curse yourself, the transfer had slipped your mind completely.

"Got it? Fucking prissy princess." The expletive makes you wince.

Then he's silent, it's deafening and bizarrely you find his silence all the more daunting and menacing than when he speaks.

Wrestling yourself out of the grasp he has on your hair is your next move but he loosens his grip without being told to.

Levi allows for you to retreat with no further arguments.

And just like that the rare day off goes past as quick as it happens.

You learn that ignoring Levi is your best bet at living a peaceful life within the walls of this Kingdom. Follow the orders he gives you and you almost always guarantee your own safety. Living. Even if it isn't a happy life you are aware there will be some pleasant moments. Living to experience those moments is the only motivation you have.

Erwin has said you would benefit from working with the rest of the cadets more often. It stops them from questioning why you receive personal training - after all they are unaware of the deal stricken up between you and Levi, it's understandable for the influx of questions.

You don't mind, after all training with Mikasa by your side for most of your days sounds more appealing in the long term. It usually gets lonely and tedious being alone. The prospect of being around the other cadets appeals to you too. You haven't actually had the opportunity to speak to very many of them and a few new members have apparently joined the ranks as of today.

Curiosity is kicking in, everyone is mumbling about the new cadets joining the squadron. You count as one of the new additions you suppose, there's no other explanation for why everyone whispers and murmurs as you stroll into the crowded training area with Mikasa by your side.

"Isn't she the one who banged her head?" muffled chuckles are heard but you pay no mind to the expected response, they'll soon be done talking about you when the next person in line embarrasses them self in your place. Levi's sharp tongue has conditioned you to pay no mind to the commentary of the other cadets. Nobody seems to be able to humiliate you in his fashion.

Mikasa doesn't take the same approach as you when greeted by the unwelcoming whispers, instead she whips her head in the direction of the insults, it looks as if she's thinking about careening one of her steel blades at the group just to instill some respect into them but the simple jerk of her body facing them is enough to make them rotate away in panic and curve the topic of discussion elsewhere.

She mutters something unclear under her breath, you would ask her to repeat her sentence but you're sure all she's done is call the boys infantile and stupid for the way they conduct themselves.

Everyone is introducing themselves and you familiarize yourself with some faces. Krista, the human embodiment of a dainty flower, she's as sweet as honey, A brunette ruffles her hair, she seems close to Krista, she doesn't even bother to introduce herself until she tells her too. Ymir, is her name.

Next you acquaint yourself with Connie, he's friendly and more than happy to converse with you, a breathe of fresh air from the cramped nature of the gossiping group from before.

Everything is going smoothly but then you feel a shoulder slink over your arm, it's not Mikasa it doesn't feel like her.

"You know Jean?" Connie is obviously very surprised.

That's when your eyes bulge out of your sockets in complete and utter shock at the slim chances of this possibility ever occurring, of all the people in all of the places, you just so happen to encounter Jean Kirstein again. He's a wildcard that's for sure.

It doesn't even cross your mind to think he could easily rat you out and ask why a noble woman such as yourself is here of all places. In fact, that concern is at the back of your mind far from your attention. You simply smile, happy to see a familiar face. You barely know him personally but from your last encounter you've been able to discern that he's welcoming and sociable.

He's incredibly friendly patting your head and completely bombarding you with questions "I would have never expected someone like you to show up." If it were anyone else you would have taken it as an insult but he's genuinely curious what brings you here, that much is obvious by his tone.

"Likewise Kirstein, I suppose we live in a small world."

You purposefully choose to not reveal much, you don't know who you can and can't trust.

He seems to catch on because he doesn't follow up on his inquiry. Instead he and Connie ask what part of Paradis you're from, what your parents do, all sorts. You're so engrossed in making up a somewhat believable story you don't even realize Kirstein's arm is still slung over your shoulder.

It's only until Hange yells "ATTENTION!" at the front of the training grounds do your notice the close proximity between you and your fellow cadet.

Slowly edging away from him you're swiftly able to detach yourself with no disturbances.

Hange is introducing themself, hands flailing in all directions and eyes wide describing how their additional role is investigating titans, they say if you're lucky enough maybe one day you'll be able to help with one of their secretive experiments. A towering blonde brute nearby whispers that Hange is eccentric and odd, a few others say it's surprising they're a superior.

Sensibly, you bury the frustration you feel down your throat, but God would you love if those childish fools kept their false opinions to themselves.

Erwin and Levi exchange looks probably deciding who speaks afterwards, it seem begrudgingly Levi agrees to take the stand.

The training ground abruptly falls silent.

Levi taking a step forward surveys the area and not once does he bother looking at you.

"Rules." His voice rumbles. "Which you all must follow." His gaze unusually centers in on Jean, you bear witness to how his form begins to tremble. Just one look from the Captain and he's about to dissolve.

The majority of his rules are basic and can easily be predicted, "You are expected to help with the cleaning. If your personal hygiene is that of a pig you may as well walk yourself out of the door now." His silver eyes are stabbing into the front row, most likely because Eren is there. He's apparently missed cleaning duty for two weeks now, it's miraculous how he's escaped unscathed.

After Levi is done wordlessly threatening Eren he rubs his hands together expectantly. Lips quirking up into one of his sharp cut-throat smiles he stares right at Jean. After a moment of silence he speaks with clarity. "No dating between cadets is permitted. No fucking either, sorry to disappoint Kirstein."

Metallic eyes are piercing into his wobbly form again and all of the cadets burst into a rupture of giggles. You too are about to join them. Truthfully, it is laughable that his notorious womanizing reputation is known even to the Captains.

But before you're able to laugh your breathe falters, you can practically feel jagged daggers twisting and digging into you. Quickly before he swiftly looks away you’re able to note Levi's eyes deliberately flick up in your direction, gaze boring into you, it burns.

You feel guilty but don’t know what it is you’ve done to produce such a hostile response.

Nevertheless, you can feel his scrutiny impale you.

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