#this song did a bit to turn perspective to industries at fault and not the individual suffering

[tautozhone]

can argue to death with me about how age restrictions on youtube are necessary but i will be DAMNED before i say Hinds Hall deserved to be age restricted. average american child on youtube can listen to H*rbu D*rbu (censoring in hopes to avoid algorithm engagement with the song) which is IOF praising genocidal propaganda, and- big fucking shocker- its not age restricted. i’m 100% sure the only reason Hind’s Hall was restricted was to deliberately suppress and avoid the spread of the song.

[alexandrasavior]

ALEXANDRA SAVIOR: loneliness as an impulse to create

At sixteen, she signed a contract with Columbia Records - a label that released albums, including Adele, Daft Punk, Arcade Fire or LCD Soundsystem. On her debut album, she surprised many in her collaboration with Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys). “It's been almost ten years since I started my career and I feel some kind of loneliness. Feels like I'm at a standstill, like I'm constantly failing. After all, in this industry you live in a world of constant ups and downs,” Savior tells us.

We meet a year after the release of your second album, The Archer. Due to the pandemic, you could only promote it on streaming platforms, previously you also had to face the producer’s departure and the loss of a music label. How do you view these events in retrospect?

A lot has passed since its release, at least for me. This whole year has been so crazy that it seems as if it lasted nearly a decade. When it comes to touring, I always feel anxious during my live performances - so maybe it's a good thing that people haven't heard the album live (laughs). The recording process was completely different from my debut because I wrote all the songs before finding a producer. I recorded a few demo versions with the band, we played a few songs during the concerts in various arrangements and I immediately knew how I wanted them to sound. Not having a label turned out to be a blessing: there was no pressure, I had no one over me, and I also gained a lot of valuable time to finish the project the way I wanted. I entered the music industry at the age of sixteen - before The Archer I always had a person telling me what to do.

NME wrote that The Archer is "your vision of love stories inspired by B-movies from the 1960s." You get the impression that this is a "soundtrack album" full of autobiographical elements, suitable for inclusion in a movie. How many are you in the second album?

I had a vision of a few songs (ex: But You) planned straight away, I wanted them to sound like those stylistic songs from the 1960s and 1970s. Now I'm wondering in which exact film I would like to put my music... I think everyone would like to "appear" in David Lynch's film. A few days ago I watched Blue Velvet, that’s what I’d pick. It doesn't seem to make much sense, because The Archer is something unlike the director's vision, but I would like it to happen one day. Anyway, talking about my second album is like digging into the past. Now I'm working on a new album, we've even started recording it in the studio.

Can you reveal anything more?

I've been writing for a long time, but I haven't found the final shape of this album in my head yet. Moreover, I don't have a label again (laughs). It's completely different music compared to the previous album. It will be less cinematic, also more slow and gentle, because this whole year brought us to a stage of stagnation. To be honest, I don't even know when this album will be released - without a label I don't have any money to record. With a bit of luck, it might come out at the end of this year (laughs).

Recently, I am fascinated by folk artists who recorded between the 40s and 60s. They created great music, but due to the fact that the situation of women at that time was very difficult, they never managed to achieve success. Karen Dalton and Connie Converse are damn inspiring to me! They started out as young, aspiring girls, and in the end they would collapse anyway. Their music had to wait for its moment for someone to rediscover it after about fifty years. It was the same with Alice Neel, my favorite painter who became famous at the age of 70!

You also started young - by giving up your education at the university, you chose a new life path, which at the beginning was not assigned to you. You could have a "normal life" with the rest of your friends. The music industry has changed the way you have come, it has influenced your growing up.

It was all difficult. The biggest difference between me and my friends was that in the end I was left alone. I was discovering my identity and interests on my own; I didn't learn from professors, I didn't attend any classes. Now my friends are finishing their schools and starting in the same place I was eight years ago. Sometimes I feel like I would like to have the chance to go to university and live this "normal life". I'd like to learn more than just from myself, but the Columbia Records deal did a full 180 on my life. I know something about the world, but it is not university knowledge. I don't think young people should sign big contracts when they're sixteen. It's been almost ten years since I started my career and I feel some kind of loneliness that is also present in my music. The fact that I cannot support myself financially seems to be a failure in itself. But it is also the fault of expectations (both mine and those from outside). These elements make it feel like I'm down, like I'm constantly failing. After all, in this industry you live in a world of constant ups and downs. One month you release a new album, you have a lot of interviews, people are interested... and the next month nobody remembers you, and you have to move on. Then for three years, in constant uncertainty, you work on a new album and you have no idea how the public will receive it. All work can collapse in one second. You feel ruined in the end.

In your lyrics, you can notice a feeling of sadness combined with enjoying it. It's such a musical masochism. In Soft Currents you sing: "My fate is at the hands of my mistakes / and that’s alright." Have you changed your creative formula with the advent of the pandemic?

The last thing I would like to write songs about is the coronavirus and the pandemic. In my lyrics, I am talking about uncertainty, about living in the past, because the present is full of contradictions and anxieties. At the same time, I tried to send this past into oblivion, I also focused on my personal innocence and my self-centeredness. I even mention how Instagram makes me feel! (laugh). These are my experiences: no less, no more, but I don't want to be the person who writes about confinement within four walls; they all do it. I try to approach it from the perspective of my reflections on my life and myself. During the pandemic, I recognized many of my behaviors that turned out to be negative and self-destructive - and this thread will probably also be visible in my writing. I wrote The Archer from the perspective of a person who felt like a victim. Now with my third album, I have accepted the choices I have made and I understand my responsibility. I'm not weak anymore.

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

01 - You’re Familiar

This chapters songs:

Daughter Of A Cop; TV Girl

I Hope To Be Around; Men I Trust

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi; Radiohead

—

— Y. L. Perspective

My breath got louder and louder each second I ran. With my bento box hitting my hips, bag tossing around, and my skirt flying up, there was no way things could get any worse.

But luckily just around the corner, I spotted students climbing onto it, which made my feet run even faster.

Near late on my first day? Damn, Y/n, way to start your year.

   Just then, I heard the sharp hiss of the engine, sending me faster towards the vehicle than I had been pacing myself before. But still, the driver was ignorant, obviously not caring how much I needed this. It wasn't like my parents would take me anyways.

"WAIT..! PLEASE WAIT!" I started on the side of the bus, running side to side with the wheels. After a few seconds of loud disruption, it finally stopped. The break was hard, and students inside were heard making remarks of protest.

Sure, I felt bad for the people who had to get a brake check, but I on the other hand was completely out of breath and near dead. Couldn't they spare me?

"I'm, I'm so.. I'm so sorry I.." My breath is short, and loud while I breathe in and out, trying my best to try and explain my tardiness to the driver. He simply sighs, gesturing for me to seat myself already.

While I stumbled down the aisle, I received a few weird glances from fellow students. Some familiar and some new. I couldn't tell if it was because of my reputation, or because I looked like a hot mess. Either way, it was too early in the morning for one to give a damn. And so, I seat myself next to another student, finally resting from the marathon I had just run.

I sighed, rolling my head back, and placed my fingers on my temples. 'I probably look like a mess right now.' I thought, letting out a huge sigh. Once I sat my fingers back down onto my lap, I observed more of the people I was surrounded by.

Some third years I was familiar with, a few that wouldn't dare speak to me, and some that were strangers. Other second and first years I didn't know at all; throughout high school, I thought it'd be best to stay hidden and introverted, especially if I were to become popular in the music industry. Lots of young stars still went to school, and usually got dirt easily thrown onto their title and that's exactly what I would avoid this year.

Bringing me back to reality, I capture a peek coming from the boy I was seated next to. He had fluffy gray hair and seemed just as tired as me. But the bus was so dark, I couldn't completely make out his features.

"Something wrong?" I said to him.

He jumped a little, adjusting his eyes back down to his phone. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just- I think I know you from somewhere."

"Lots of people know me, buddy—" I lifted my head, facing him. 'Hey, this guy does pretty familiar. But there's no way I'd forget a face like his. Then again, I have the memory of an 80-year-old woman.' I think to myself, examining his features in an awkward mood.

"Wow, it is you. (Y/n), it's been quite a while!" He smiled widely, reaching a hand out to me. I only froze, too confused to comprehend the situation. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you're doing well!"

"I-Im sorry?" I question, wondering why a stranger would confront me this way. But something was off— I knew him, I just couldn't remember where from. Maybe from previous classes, or from a concert?

He turns slightly, growing a smile on his pale face. "I was trying to figure out if it was you or not, but it is! It's great to see you're better. How are you?"

"Who are you?" I ask back, a bit frightened.

"Uhm, well, I sat next to you in math class during my first year. Remember? I was a little ditzy, kind of annoying, I never shut up about volleyball..?" He asks, hoping to get a hint of nostalgia. "Come on, you've gotta recognize me, right?"

"Wait, Sugawara!" My finger jumps out, pointing to his sitting figure. "I'm sorry I couldn't recognize you! It sure has been quite a while. But I definitely remember you, now! You were one of the people who talked to me during my first year.. thanks for that. Anyways, how've you been?"

"I think that's my line, L/n." Suga pats my shoulder, then places his hand onto his lap. "You've changed so much! I've gotta know how you're doing!"

"I-I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing in your perspective, but thanks anyway. I've been doing just fine." I explain before a yawn escapes my mouth. Sure, this conversation was energetic, but I certainly wasn't.

"Again, so very sorry for being so forgetful. I don't remember much from first year, especially not anything in math, but I sure do recognize you now." I say, hoping my rudeness from before wouldn't have any effect on how he viewed me. Not that I cared, of course.

Luckily, Sugawara was forgiving that day. With a wide grin, he replies, "No need to apologize. People change drastically during high school; we're no exceptions. Although, I would've enjoyed being mutuals with you throughout most of it! I wonder why I haven't seen you around until today... I believe the last time we had talked was around the last day of first year."

"Yeah, we didn't have any classes together. If we had, I'm sure we would have stirred up a discussion. You seem very kind. " I gently smile, rubbing the nape of my neck. I tend to forget any bad memories, and the beginning of high school sure was a fat one.

"What a shame, you too seem wonderful.." He comments, gazing towards me for a split second, before reverting his focus. "A-anyways, it's a bit of a surprise I saw you here. Have you always ridden the bus? I usually take it in the mornings as well."

"I've actually just moved into this neighborhood. My parents work more hours than ever, so they decided it's best if I'm closer to school so that I can get to school and back quickly." I explain, tapping the sage green bento in my lap, before setting it on my side.

Sugawara nods, understanding the circumstances. "That makes sense. I'm sure you'll enjoy it now that you've got a friend in the neighborhood. Although, a girl like you must be quite familiar, right?"

'Is that intended to be disrespectful, or am I just tripping?' I think to myself, asking him to spell out the meaning of that remark. "I'm sorry, what? A girl like me?"

"Oh, crap! I didn't mean that to sound rude— I meant because of your band! I understand you guys are the talk around school, considering you're getting pretty popular in the field."

A sigh of relief leaves my lips, preparatory to my correction. "Oh, my band. I'm not sure I necessarily make friends, more like connections and acquaintances. Only a couple of students know about the band, and usually just the down-low ones. But enough about me, what about you, hm? I assume still volleyball obsessed."

I had obviously steered in the wrong direction with our conversation, for Suga's aura quickly altered at the mention of the sport. "Eh, I'm not as excited about it as I used to be." He says, along with a hint of dissatisfaction in his raspy voice.

"No way. What happened to cheerful Sugawara who asked me, the lamest, to join the girls' team?" I ask, hoping a bit of that childish personality was still inside the older version of Suga. The one which was taller, more masculine, more of a man than before.

"Honestly, can't tell you. 'Teams has been a mess ever since I've joined." He leans back in his seat, stretching his arms out, before placing them around his neck from behind. "We're hanging on my a very thin thread."

"Dang, that really sucks. You never know, things can always turn out better." I say, doing as he did, and resting against the leather seats.

"Yeah, of course. I guess it's pretty hard to keep going after so many fails, haha." A sad chuckle leaves his mouth, as he sighs.

"Anyway, nice talking. I'm outta take a quick power nap; I barely got sleep last night. Mind waking me up when we get to school?"

"Yeah, of course," Sugawara replies. With that, I'm left with laying music in my ears like always, and nodded off to slumber.

—

"Hey, sleepyhead. We're at school," I hear someone say, feeling a tap of a cold finger on my nose. Almost immediately, I shoot up from my position, standing directly above Sugawara while students leave the bus with their bags, having loud discussions of excitement. Was there anything more embarrassing than falling asleep on someone who ghosted you as a friend?

"Dear God, I'm terribly sorry." I panic, brushing down my blue skirt. "That happens on rides, it was a mistake."

"Oh, it's no big deal! Don't worry—" Suga chuckles, standing up from sitting. But before I could let him talk anymore, I started making my way towards the exit of the bus.

"Uhm, I've gotta go! Great talking, though. I'll catch you later, have a good day," I mumble, before frantically leaving the vehicle. 'What a morning.'

— K. S. Perspective

Before I could grant Y/n a polite goodbye, she'd disappeared in just a few seconds. But even so, the measly to,e I'd discussed with her was quite enjoyable. I couldn't believe how much she'd changed.

Long ago, the beginning of high school, Y/n was the type of girl you could barely see, as if she were invisible. I think the only reason I ever even noticed her was because we were seated next to each other in math class, and she immediately caught my attention. But thank goodness I had at least tried making an effort to talk to her, or else we wouldn't have had our conversation this morning. But it wasn't her fault she was so gloomy; supposedly she had lost someone close to her the year before.

Although our talk was brief, it still meant a lot to me. Especially since I was informed that she was finally happy. Looking down at the seat she used, there was a small box with a handle at the top, and a few anime stickers covering it.

'Is this what was making that loud tapping noise on the way here?' I asked myself, examining the box more. Small initials marked 'Y.L.' We're at the bottom, informing me it was Y/n's. At first, I considered handing it to our bus driver, but for the few years I've known him I learned he doesn't return lost things. And so, I leave the bus with it in my hands, ready to start my morning.

"Suga!" I hear a familiar voice call out to me. Looking up, I see my friend, Daichi, and another fellow behind him, Tanaka. The two of them jog towards me, with their scarfs unfolding in the wind. Both I had met in volleyball, and they've been my buddies ever since.

"Hey, Sugawara!" Tanaka exclaims, roughly slapping my back. The bento tosses in my hands, thankfully not spilling onto the floor. Unfortunately, he notices the box and snatches it right out of my hold. "Wow, feeling a bit girly, are we?"

I laugh in response, quickly taking it back. "It's not mine, it belongs to the person who sat next to me today. Hopefully, if I see her again I can give return it."

"Hopefully?" Daichi teases, as we all begin our walk towards the school doors. "Do you know her name?"

"Yeah, her name's Y/n. Know her?"

He lights up at the mention of their name, replying "Oh, I know her! That girl you never shut up about I in first year, correct?"

"Ha, yeah."

Tanaka doesn't understand, digging deeper into the situation. "What?! I've never known good ole' Suga to genuinely have feelings for a girl, unless it was some fling."

"I don't! I used to. There's a difference." I say, as we enter the building.

"If she rides your bus, then why don't you just give it to the driver? She'll probably go looking for it later at the end of the day. That is unless you wanna see her again.." Daichi teases me.

"You see, I would. But the bus driver is sort of a thief, and this girl has had a rough morning as it is. I just wanna be nice." I explain to him. Though a part of me did want to see her again and hope that we could talk longer than we did before.

"Sure you do," Tanaka says, patting our backs. "Listen, this is my stop. I'll catch you guys at practice?"

"Sure thing, bye." We say our farewells, and make our way towards the third-year halls. "What about you, Daichi? Got anything exciting happening this hour?"

"If stressing about volleyball counts, then yes! Most definitely.." He says, clearing his throat. "Watch, like, two people show up."

"Actually, Kiyoko informed us in the group chat that we've got at least four! That's better than last year, right?" I try my best to cheer him up, but it only made him even more nervous. I couldn't blame him. Too much was even more of a burden, but too little was a disappointment and would leave us exactly where we left off.

"It's okay, Suga. I have a lot of faith in our team. I know it's been rough lately, but as long as we try our best, we'll work this out." Daichi smiles, turning towards a separate hallway than mine. "I'm off to homeroom. See you later!"

"Yeah, see ya!" I'm left by myself, giving me more time to focus on what should happen today. - 1st, I have to go through each class and say hi to a couple of familiars, and hopefully not see anyone I've had a conflict with.

- 2nd, I had to give Y/ns bento back to them, but that could only happen if we happened to have a class with each other before, or if we had the same lunch.

- 3rd, volleyball tryouts were this afternoon. I had to make sure and represent myself as a role model, and make it clear I was vice-captain. I wanted nothing more than for the new players to feel safe.

But internally, I knew none of those plans would work out. Especially if I wasn't focused on them. Currently, all I could think about was Y/n, and how refreshing it felt to be around her again. When I was first around her was at the same time when things in my life started to fall apart, and my little crush on her made me feel better about it all. I guess you could say she was my comfort corner, even if she talked to me only once or twice during the week. And sometimes on her bad days, I would be able to at least get a laugh out of her, even if it meant making a complete fool out of myself.

All I wanted was for her not to harm herself or feel lonely, which took a quick turn towards me once the year had ended. Not only had my thing for her end, but my family soon fell apart after my mother had passed away. Of course, I still had my responsibilities like volleyball club and helping my younger sister and my father get through it. But it seemed that everyone would do their own thing, so I did the same. And for a while, I was lonely and didn't cope with the loss very well. Just like Y/n, I distanced myself.

This went on throughout my entire second year of high school, while she on the other hand started to get her life together. She started her band, made and covered a couple of songs, and finally healed from her hard year. Honestly, I didn't even really believe that she was in such a good state, but I was proven wrong today. Ultimately, she truly inspired me to pick myself up and start fresh. And now that she popped up so suddenly, I was back to square one.

'It's been a while, Y/n'

—

HEYYY SHAWTYYYS.

Give me notes.

SO, I've finally rewritten the first chapter of my fanfiction!! It took a while, but I did it. If you didn't know, I started this story about eight months ago, and I had no writing experience. Now that I'm reaching the climax of this story, I decided I should edit the chapter, especially since they sucked ass! Nothing much was changed, just far more detailing and extra feelings.

Overall, thanks so much for reading the first chapter. Please vote if you enjoyed it!! It helps others know that it's worth reading. And if not, no worries. Thanks anyways. I love you all so much!

- your friendly Suga simp

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Give love one more chance; Gwilym Lee x reader

*Author’s note*

Hello everyone well I have yet another request that came from my wattpad account and this time the request is all about our lovely mini-Bri Gwilym Lee. Now as a warning THERE IS HEAVY MENTIONS OF CHEATING (not on Gwil’s part but it’s for the back story) and due to that there is angst but I PROMISE FLUFF IS THROUGHOUT MOST OF THIS STORY esp. once the ending comes around. So I hope you all enjoy this little fic and until the next update my darlings :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@psychosupernatural​

@waddles03​

@ixchel-9275​

@georgesgentlyweepingguitar​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@simonedk​

@kairosfreddie​

__________________________________________________________

I was walking around the main stage set where they would be filming the most iconic scene ever, the Live Aid sequence. I was just in awe at how the stage designers were following everything by the book, from the brick wall patterns, to the posters that hung on them at the time, even some of the paint chipping away.

For those that are curious, the name’s (y/n) (l/n). I’ve been on the road with Queen ever since they started working alongside my best friend, Adam Lambert.  Yep, Adam and I go way back since middle school as a matter of fact.  We were both the awkward kids who no one really paid attention too and loved classic rock, esp. Queen.  When Adam told me he was planning to audition for American Idol, I just couldn’t let him go on alone.

I was his big supporter and went to every live performance cheering him from the sidelines, even helping his team organize and making sure he had everything he needed to his performances.  And even though he was a runner up, he was still a winner in my book.  Then when he came out to me as well as the world about his sexuality, that didn’t change my perspective of him.  I stuck by him because we were the Odd-kids through thick and thin.

Then by 2014 he met up once again with Queen a few years after performing with them back during his season of American Idol and that’s when they offered Adam to be the new leading man for their concerts and thus Queen+Adam Lambert was born.

And then just two years later, Queen officially began to project that was the film ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’  Adam had invited me along since he had a small little cameo to play and he said that I could potentially have a small role in the film too, but I turned to role down.  I just—never really fit well with a camera’s attention on me.

But here I am as support for Adam as well as Brian and Roger.  Those two men have really become role models and sorta like second dad’s to me in a way. When life got to stressful on the road; Brian always took me aside and the two of us would look at the SaveMe animal videos he had on his website, while Roger was the one with the good therapeutic music to listen to, he even got me into some bands that I never really had the chance to listen too.  Even his former solo band’s ‘The Cross’ music.

“Oh my god. This is beautiful.” It was then I bumped into someone’s back.

“Oh sorry my fault.” We both said at the same time but when I looked up to see just who it was that I had bumped into, I felt like I needed to do a double take because I swear to god I thought I was looking at Brian May at the time of Live Aid.

“Wow you’re gorgeous.” I thought I had said in my head but apparently my lips just had to voice it out loud to him. Embarrassingly I hid my face but I heard the Brian look-alike softly chuckle and he said.

“It’s fine love, I’m flattered, really. Guess I really look the part don’t I?”

“Yeah.” I nervously giggled.

“I’m Gwilym. And as you can probably tell by the wig, I’m playing Brian May in the film.”

“(Y/n). I’m uhh—Adam’s best friend.” God could this be any more humiliating.

“Oh so you’re the one Brian and Roger told us about. The clever roadie.”

“Well I wouldn’t call myself clever. They just flatter me because I work for them.”

“No, no, no. Brian especially talks about how you’ve been able to work on fixing all the AMPS that break down during rehearsal, or knowing when exactly his red special needs a tuning or new string set.” I blushed and that’s when he said, “Oh I’ve gone and rambled making you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry (y/n).”

“It’s fine Gwilym. So is this your first acting gig? Or have you been doing this for a while?”

“I guess you could call me a child actor. My first gig was in a show called Animal Ark, I think I was 13 years old when I auditioned for it. Then after getting my education I dived fully into the acting industry with a few television shows and a few movies. My recent big project was when I was in Midsomer murders, have you heard that show?”

“I think so. My dad was always into British tv more than American tv. Even though he was born in Minnesota.”

“I was only on for only 3 series before I went into some other projects.”

“Well I’d love to see the show sometime. And you said it was called midtown murders?”

“Midsomer, actually.”

“Oh right sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

And that’s kinda what we ended up doing.  We just sat there and talked right up until it was time to start filming.  I wished him good luck and as the actors got into place, I stood beside Roger, Brian’s daughter Emily and Peter “Phoebe” Freestone.  Shortly after the boys entered the stage much like Queen did 31 years Brian came up and sat down beside me and that’s when Rami, who was playing Freddie, set down at the piano and the guys all began to play the full Live Aid set.

As I looked at each of them I knew each of these guys had done their homework.  And seeing them in full costume and shtick, it was like I was actually there at the concert seeing them.  Of course my eyes were especially focused on Gwil who played Brian’s red special with such ease and finesse, it was like I was really watching Brian during the time of Live Aid.

Of course being a Queen fan, I couldn’t help but interact with each song they did, the double handclap for Radio Gaga and We will rock you, following along to the Aye-oh’s, headbanging to Hammer to fall, dancing to Crazy little thing called love, and swaying to We are the champions.

After doing several rehearsals, Dexter finally decided to film the guys for real this time.  And even though it was cold and the guys were probably exhausted, they still managed to perform the whole show once more with even more energy and enthusiasm when the cameras were really recording.  By the end of it all, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

When I finally came backstage after the guys and some of the crew congratulated them on a job well done, I don’t know why it happened but I couldn’t help but fling myself towards Gwilym and embrace him.

“Seems our Brian look-alike has found his little groupie.” Teased Rami using his Freddie voice.  At that point I backed away and released him.

“Sorry. I just—got a little excited. Seeing you four up there it was like—finally seeing all four members of Queen back together for the first time in a long time.”

“We’re glad you loved it (y/n).” Gwilym said with a soft smile that made butterflies tickle my stomach.

“So you said you love Queen? What’s your favorite song of theirs?” asked the John Deacon look alike, damn much like Gwil, he definitely looked like Deacy, I can see why the casting directors chose him, it was like he was his son or something.

“Oh god well don’t tell them this but it’s definitely Somebody to love.”

“I like her already. We match!” he raised his hand up for a high five which I complied to give him as he introduced himself as Joe Mazzello.

Pretty soon I knew the other two actor’s names, Ben Hardy who was playing Roger, and Rami Malek who was playing the legend himself Freddie Mercury.

*Brian’s POV*

As I watched our genius little roadie chat up with the actors playing us, my mind kept going back to that hug she gave my look-alike.

“I know you saw that right, I mean I maybe blind as a fucking bat but I know my eyes didn’t deceive me on what I just saw.” Roger said as he came up to me.

“Your eyes do not lie Rog. I saw what you saw.”

“You know our girl doesn’t just hug any random guy.”

“Yep. And that shy little gleam in her eyes, dare I say I think our mini-Deacy is in love with my look alike.”

“Not to say I’m happy for her, but I feel like she could’ve chose better.” Roger teased.

“Oh shut it you old tart, you’re just jealous she didn’t pick your actor.”

“Nothing against yours, cause bloody hell it’s like I’m looking at you 30 years ago over there.” I softly chuckle. Yeah they definitely casted the perfect actor to play me, and seeing Gwilym with the wig on its…..mind boggling (although I had to slightly adjust the wig a bit) but other than that he was perfect. “So, shall we go and confront her about it?”

“Now hold on Rog, you know how she gets when she’s being fully confronted. She’ll completely shut down. Let’s—wait it out. See what happens, and then we’ll see if this is something to discuss with her. But it’ll be on my terms.”

“You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.” I shook my head at Roger’s statement before turning back towards (y/n) and Gwilym.  Seeing the two of them talking and laughing with each other warmed my heart.  Because ever since we’ve met her, (y/n) has been the best roadie we’ve ever had.  She’s always on top of every sound and light equipment we’ve got, she knows how Adam likes his speakers to sound and she’s even clever enough to see when I need a new string set on my guitars or when Roger’s kit needs a tuning because of a loose screw that might’ve happened while unloading.

But for whatever reason she sometimes puts herself down, claiming that she’s not all what we’ve both told her she is. That she’d rather just remain invisible, and I can understand some of her pain because I’ve been there myself with my own self-doubt and insecurities.  So I hope that if her and Gwilym do somehow manage to form a relationship, he could probably help her see that she is more than she seems.

*My POV*

After a couple weeks of being on set, Gwil and I were definitely spending a lot of time together and every time we got the chance to hang out, we’d talk about our lives or love of Queen.

“So you and Adam Lambert really knew each other that long?” he asked me.

“Yep. It just happened one day during lunch, I was the new kid in town and I feared no one wanted to hang out with me so I ended up eating in the courtyard by myself when Adam, all donned up with his green dyed stripped bangs introduced himself and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“So he was even extravagant even back then.”

“Yep. Then when we found out we both had a love for Queen, he refused to let me out of his life afterwards, cause I was the only friend he had that liked or even knew who Queen were.”

“Wait are you serious?”

“Dead serious. It’s hard to find people to talk about classic rock with when all they cared about was the rap music or Britney Spears. Or spice girls.”

“Wow.”

“So how did you come to know Queen’s music?”

“You’ll have to thank my old brother. He had basically almost every single Queen record there was, one day I heard him play Bohemian Rhapsody and I was curious. And I guess you could say the rest is history.”

“Well then your brother gets an A+ from me for good music taste.”

“So how is it touring with Queen and Adam?”

“Well I’ve toured with Adam for so long it just feels like a normal hang out day for us. Once he got the offer to tour with Queen themselves it was like not only meeting my role models but they became family to us. Brian and I have a common love for animals, so much so that I’ve become a daily donor to his SaveMe organization.”

“Hey Gwilym. They’re ready to start filming.” One of the producers came up.

“Well that’s my cue, see you after?”

“You bet.” We stood up and I went ahead and sat down at one of the chairs and watched as the guys did the performance for a Japan concert.  I’ll admit even with the 70’s silk/satin angel shirt that he was wearing, he still looked pretty handsome and he sure was a brilliant guitarist if I do say so myself.

“I see what you’re doing.” Adam’s sing-song voice whispered in my ear.  I came out of my daze and whispered to him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me dearie. I have eyes I’m not blind.” I shook my head and went back to paying attention to the guys now doing Brian’s song ’39.  I clapped along with the song and softly sung the words (cause out of every song Bri had written, this was definitely my #1 fav.)  When Dexter called cut, I suddenly felt myself being dragged away and soon found myself in a closet of sorts.

“Adam what the fuck is the matter with you?”

“Well would you rather talk about this out there where everyone can hear, potentially your secret lover too?” I immediately covered his mouth with my hand and I hissed at him as I shushed him.

“Shh! Shh! Speak louder why don’t you I don’t think they heard all the way from Glasgow!” I then retracted my hand in disgust as I felt him actually lick my palm. “Why must you do that?”

“Cause I know it annoys you.” He shrugged.

“You can be such an asshole sometimes Lambert.”

“Yeah but you always stick around me dearie.” He said smugly as he leaned up against the wall of the closet crossing his arms. “Now as I was saying back there, you’re really starting to get attached to Brian’s mini-him aren’t you?”

“No!” I snapped abruptly.  He quirked his brow at me before I cleared my throat and said. “No, we’re just friends is all Adam. In fact if you keep going down this path, I might just replace you with him.”

“That hurts (n/n), that really hurts.” He mocked in pain as he placed his hand over his heart and gave me the puppy dog pout. “But girl c’mon for realzies, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing is up, okay can you just drop it? Now if you’ll excuse me Gwilym and I are due for a coffee break.” I walked out of the closet and stormed out trying to get my mind off of what Adam was hinting.  As I was walking, I soon came up to Gwilym and when he saw me he smiled and I tried to calm my anger down as I approached him calmly.

“You okay (y/n)?”

“Yeah, yeah why would you say that?”

“Just—for a moment it looked like you were pissed at something.”

“Oh nothing you need to worry about, so you free for some coffee and catering? I know you’ve got a long day ahead of you, might not be a bad idea to have a good lunch.”

“Great because I had to skip breakfast when my alarm failed to wake me up this morning.”

“Well then we better hurry. We need food stat, can’t have one of the four Queen members perform on an empty belly.” We then raced over towards the catering and got us some food and coffee.

When we got it and was now walking through the studio where they were now setting up the Madison Square Garden set just opposite of where the Japan stage was earlier this morning.

“Wait so that actually happened?” asked Gwilym.

“He tries to deny it and blames it on the poor lighting the camera had but don’t be fooled. His son Rufus told me the whole story of how it happened.”

“I can’t believe he made his hair green.”

“His hair was already blonde as it was, he’s lucky it didn’t make his hair bleach blonde.”

“Well that’s not as funny as Joe thinking he’ll be able to wash out that perm he got.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa he thinks what now?”

“Yeah Joe thinks that in the next week or two it’s gonna grow out and go back to normal.”

“Oh my god Joey!” I laughed.

“Like just the other night we were all out in the pub the four of us and he was chatting away to a girl with his Yankees cap on. So I went up and flipped the hat off and said as I pointed to his hair ‘he’s got a perm’!” I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.

“You are so bad.”

“Yeah. Bad wingman but good friend.” I continued laughing which turned into giggles.

“Ahh Joey, Joey, Joey, Joey.”

“GAHH SON OF A BITCH!!!” we both heard someone call out.

“Uh-oh.” I said as Gwil and I looked at each other and set out stuff aside on a nearby table before racing across the studio and I asked. “What happened?”

“Damn circuits in these lights shocked me and now I can barely feel my hand anymore.” Said one of the light engineers.

“Okay, okay here let me see it.” I walked up to him and held his hand in both of mine.  There was some slight swelling but I thankfully no serious burn marks. “Well good news is, is that there’s no serious burn marks. But it is swollen red. I suggest some ice and rest for the rest of the day. And get a medic to check out your reflexes in case the shock might’ve nulled your muscles.”

“But we need another light technician to help us raise these lights for the Madison Square Garden set.” Said a female volunteer.

“You’re looking at your spare one. Besides I’ve spent my whole life with Roger and Brian to know how they want MSG to look. Now, what’s your name?” I turned to the guy who got shocked.

“Arnold.”

“Arnold, go see a medic about your injury and take the rest of the day off. Anyone asks or has a problem with it, send them my way, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.” He said with a slight smile before heading out to the medics trailer.

“Okay now what exactly are we dealing with here?” I asked the seven other light technicians.

“Well we’re trying to make sure all these lights intersect with each other so that they can change colors like they do at the real MSG. Arnold was working on the main circuit board to work the code in when it backfired and you heard what happened as the result.”

“Okay well first things first it could’ve been prevented if he were wearing gloves, rookie mistake.” I then took out my gloves that I always keep on me in my back pocket and put them on. “Goggles.” I said as I extended my arm out and someone handed me some spare goggles.  Once I had them on I proceeded to work.

I called out for various equipment pieces like the 4 in 1 Podger rachet, a Leatherman supertool, and some batteries. Once I had the main board opened I began working on finding the loose circuit that probably caused Arnold’s shocking surprise because that needed to be fixed immediately.

Using a mini-flashlight I managed to find the area and found the problem.

“Okay I see the problem. Can someone hold the flashlight for me?”

“I got it.” Said one of the female volunteers as she came up and took the flashlight from me and I went right to work on the wires, making sure they were tucked in correctly and un exposed.  It took some time but by the end of it all, I punched the code that was needed for the lights to turn on.

“There, that should do it.” I said as I took my gloves off and removed my goggles.

“Okay boys raise her up!” called the main lighting technician and soon the lights were raised up.  Then using his phone, he activated the lights and they soon began shining into a red and blue pattern that would go along with the orange, yellow and green pattern.  The light technicians clapped and thanked me for the assistance and when I turned to Gwil, he just had this awed look on his face.

“Sorry you had to see that. Whenever I hear a technical problem I just gotta jump in.”

“Well I’m glad you did. I was amazed to see how you were able to work all that out.”

“Oh it’s not that hard. All I had to do was just tighten the circuits and then replace the batteries while also—oh there I go again. My tech ramblings again, sorry if I’m boring you Gwilym you don’t need to hear all that.”

“No, no, no it’s genius. I mean back when I was doing theater in secondary and university, I never really had a good grasp on the tech theater side of it even though I was trying my best.”

“Not everyone does. I was the only one who took the class seriously back in high school. Everyone else rather just look at their magazines or porno books. Don’t ask me how they snuck it in.”

“Wow, well thankfully they had you to take it seriously.”

“Uh-huh.” I said sadly as I looked down and rubbed my wrist nervously.

“(Y/n)?”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just—thinking back.”

“Anything you’d…..like to share? I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“Thank Gwilym but I don’t wanna bore you with my life. C’mon let’s get back to our food before you’re needed on set again.” I said as I walked away and went back to my donuts and Cinnabons.  Gwil followed behind me and began to eat his celery and carrots as well as drinking his coffee, as we ate I tried my best to avoid eye contact with him up until I finished my things and tossed them in the bin before heading out.

Making an excuse that Bri and Rog had texted me saying that they wanted to talk about the lighting and sound for their next concert.

Later that night as everyone was packing up to do some of the outdoor scenes like Adam’s big cameo appearance, I found myself standing away from the set just staring up at the night sky.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I looked up to see Gwil coming by to sit beside me in the spare chair where Adam was just sitting at before he went to hair and makeup.

“Just—taking in the sky.” He looked up and he said.

“It’s a full moon out tonight.”

“Yep. The one time for a straight week where the tides are stronger and can sometimes have an effect on the human mind.”

“Quite the philosopher you are.”

“Well I did minor in it in college. My major was in electrical engineering.”

“So not only good with your hands but also a brilliant mind in philosophy as well. No wonder why Brian calls you the mini-Deacy.” I smiled briefly.

“The reason why I know about the full moon is because of him. He did give me a little lecture on astronomy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t have a fascination with space already. Just—never could understand the specific science talk it came with.”

“I hear yah. When I was a kid; my brother and I would go out to the backyard and we’d just look up at the stars and make as many pictures with them as we could. Sometimes we even stayed out all night. Worried my mum to no end.”

“I think it’d worry me too if my kids ended up staying outside in the cold night with no blankets or a tent to sleep in.” we turned to look at each other and once again Gwil had this awed look on his face, just like he did this afternoon. “What is it?”

“Nothing it’s just…..” he trailed off.

“Just what?”

“Your eyes.”

“M—my eyes?”

“They….they sparkle underneath the moonlight. Almost like they were two stars themselves.” I was speechless.  I felt my heart race and my face beginning to heat up.  I turned away probably blushing as red as an apple right now.  I felt Gwil’s hand gently go on top of mine, before intertwining them together which made me look up at him.  It was then I saw him lean closer towards me, his forehead pressing against mine while his nose gently brushed up against mine.

At this point I could hear my heart racing in my ears as the smell of his cologne sent me into a hypnotic state.  I felt his hand cup the side of my face as he faintly whispered.

“So beautiful.” But just before he could kiss me, Joe’s voice could be heard from a mile away.

“YO GWIL WHERE ARE YAH!? WE’RE ABOUT TO START FILMING!!!”

“If this is payback for the pub he’s so gonna get it.” I heard him mutter angrily.  He turned back towards me and he said, “Sorry love.”

“It’s okay.” I strained out. “Just, just, just, just go film your scenes for the night.” I said as I crossed my arms over me protectively and looked down.  I couldn’t look at him, I just couldn’t find the strength to do so.  I then heard him walk away and that’s when the tears started pouring down.

I took off running to the nearest place I could find.  I didn’t even bother to look and see what it was, all I wanted to know was that I could be alone and that I could cry to myself in peace.  I collapsed to the floor on my butt and tucked my legs up into my chest and began to softly cry.

I don’t know how long I was crying in wherever I was for but it was then I heard the door open and soon coming in was Adam and Rami.

“(Y/n)?” Adam said surprised.  I felt myself being torn down as I had finally been revealed. I must’ve came into the hair and makeup trailer and now that they were probably calling it quits, everyone would soon come in and see me crying my eyes out.

“(Y/n) you okay?” Rami asked.

“Hey uhh Rami could you give us a moment alone? Maybe guard the door so that no one comes in just yet?”

“Yeah, yeah sure thing.” I heard the door shut and that’s when I saw Adam sit down in front of me.  I looked up at him to see him in the truck driver get up with the full beard and long haired wig.

“You were right. Okay you wanna hear me say it Adam Lambert?! You were right! I’m in love with Gwilym Lee!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa okay. Okay. Calm down, calm down.” He said as he cautiously reached forward and gently gripped my arms in his hands. “I’m happy you finally came to terms with it dearie, that’s great news actually. But what’s got you so upset?”

“For Christ sake Adam tell me you didn’t forget about the bullying I had to endure all throughout middle and high school! And Jared!” at the mention of the boy’s name his eyes widened and he said.

“Okay hold on, wait just a damn second. Gwilym is nowhere near what that dick Jared was. I’ve seen the two of you together and he makes you happier way more than what Jared did.”

“Well Jared made me happy until he did what he did!” I looked down at my knees and continued lowly, “Oh Adam. I thought I could just keep up a friendship with Gwilym, but now I—” I trailed off as more sobs came up my throat as I choked out, “Now I…..I wish I never came here!” I then broke down once more.

I felt Adam sit close beside me before he wrapped his arms around me bringing me into his chest and kissing my forehead as he rubbed my back in soothing circles and stroked down my hair.

Once I calmed down after what felt like crying all night, Adam took me out of the trailer and already I could see a crowd of people including Gwil standing around asking all sorts of questions at seeing me.

“Guys please. No questions are necessary and please don’t ask me because I won’t answer them either. What was said in the trailer stays between (y/n) and me.” Adam made a clear statement before finally taking me away to find Brian or Roger.

When we finally came across Roger, he soon got protective and asked.

“What happened?”

“Roger could you just take (y/n) back to the hotel, I’ll explain later.”

“Alright, come with me lovie.” I was soon switched out from Adam’s arms to Roger’s and he guided me towards his car.  He helped me into the backseat where I could hide away while he drove us back to the hotel.

I was now in my room lying on my bed hiding under the blankets after just spending a long time under the hot water trying to get rid of the memories of Jared.

You see—I had met Jared during the first collaboration with Adam and Queen.  He was actually one of Brian’s roadies and helped set up all of Brian’s AMPS.  We had a common love for electronics and gradated with the same major even being an ocean apart.  We shortly began dating afterwards and were madly in love.

But when a serious accident caused him to take an early retirement from being on the road since the damage had been done to his lower back.  Which left me to go on the road with Queen and Adam, but we still kept in touch.

Fast forward to just a year ago after four years of dating, I began to wonder if there was gonna be a future with the two of us together.  So one day after we had gotten done with a tour, I get a text from Jared saying that the next night he wanted to meet me at the very restaurant where we had our first official date at.  Adam of course was thrilled thinking that a proposal was in the horizon so he helped me get dolled up the next morning (even with him being completely jetlagged) and I met Jared at our restaurant.

I was trembling with anxiety but also with joy. He took my hand, looked deep into my eyes and that’s when he dropped the bombshell, but it wasn’t what you’d think it was.  Jared had confessed to me in our restaurant where we had our first date, along with many others that he had been cheating on me.

But not just with one woman, not two, not three, but lots of women.  All in the entire span we had been dating.

I refused to listen to anything else he had to say as he tried to defend himself.  But no that’s not the worst part, the worst part of it was, was that the following day (after crying in Adam’s arms all day), Jared came to the stage where Queen and Adam were performing in London and tried to win me back. Saying that it was just a fluck and that he still loved me with all his heart.

He’d constantly tried to call or text me over 100 times a day.  The harassment went on for months till finally I had a restraining order put against him and if he should violate it in the state of England, he’d be arrested. To which he was and was sentenced to five years in jail for refusal to obey the restraining order as well as stalking (yeah he’d stalk me cross country during some of the tours and even snuck backstage and confronted me with arms open and tears rolling down his face).

Ever since then, I’d been afraid to love again because what if they end up being another Jared.  Charming, sweet, noble, funny and charismatic, but the second I turn my back he’d go and sleep with half the women in America. And then make me to be the bad guy because I couldn’t give them a chance to explain why he had to cheat.

I heard a knock at the door and I could only groan as my door soon opened and I felt three separate dips around my bed.

“Adam told us (y/n).” Brian’s voice said. I groaned and buried myself into my pillow.

“You know you’ll suffocate yourself if you do that.” Adam said.

“Better that than dealing with this bitch.” I groaned pitifully.

“C’mon (n/n), come out from under there and look at us.” Roger said. I shot up and glared at him and said.

“There, happy? Goodnight!” before I could collapse back down onto the bed, Adam held me up and trapped me in his arms as he said.

“Stay out here.”

“(Y/n). We know that—you know who really hurt you.” Brian started off.

“Hurt doesn’t even come close to how I felt the day he told me that. God never did I want to kill someone until that day.”

“I don’t blame you, none of us do.” Adam said as he rubbed my back. “But you can’t let what Jared did affect you for the rest of your life.”

“Think it’s already a little too late for that.”

“No it’s not. Because look at what you’ve accomplished since his arrest. The only guys you had a close connection with are me and the guys. Now you’ve become friends with Rami, Ben, Joe and Gwil. And what’s even greater is that you’ve come to accept that you’re starting to have feelings for Gwil.” Adam said.  I looked down and I said.

“How do I know it’ll work out? What if it’s like Jared all over again?”

“You’ll never know unless you go for it.” Roger said. I looked between the three of them but didn’t answer.

“The choice is up to you (y/n). Just make sure that whatever you do decide, you won’t regret it. And just listen to your heart. We’ll support you no matter what you choose.” Brian said as he placed a comforting hand to my shoulder.  I nodded and thanked the guys as they brought me into a group hug.

The next morning I came onto set for the last time (since Adam was done with his cameo, he was needed back at the studio to promote some of his solo stuff, and as his SM manager I needed to be there to spread the word) to confront Gwilym and finally let go of the past (if I could).

I walked around the set till I finally found the person I was searching for.  He was fiddling around with a mock Red special practicing before he would have to film the ‘We will rock you’ scene.  I took a deep breath in before exhaling out and walked towards him.

“Hey Gwil?” he looked up at me and said.

“(Y/n). You’re—you’re still here. I thought you and Adam already left?”

“No, not till tomorrow. I uhh—I wanted to talk to you. About……” I trailed off and that’s when he stood up setting the guitar down and finished my thought.

“About last night?” I nodded. He sighed heavily as he pressed his hands to his face, “I’m really sorry (y/n). I never meant to upset, I was impulsive and stupid to do that. Can we just forget what happened? I was way out of line.”

“Actually Gwilym I—I have something to confess. But can we talk somewhere privately?”

“Of course, we can talk in my trailer. If you’re comfortable with that.” I nodded and soon the two of us headed towards his trailer.

When we got there, he closed the door and I sat down on his sofa while he sat down at one of his chairs and said.

“Okay (y/n), what is it you need to confess?” my leg was bouncing up and down as I tried to formulate the words that I was about to tell him.  I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes.

“God I’m sorry.” I choked out.

“No, no, no never feel sorry about this. Please take your time.”

“Last night I—I wasn’t upset because of the, well the about to be kiss. In fact I—I wanted to kiss you too.”

“But.” He stated knowing that I had something else to add on.

“There’s a—reason why I’m so insecure about myself. And—why I haven’t been in a relationship.” I then proceeded to tell him everything.  From the bullies at school, to Jared’s story and how badly he had hurt me. Used me. Treated me like trash.  By the end of it all, Gwil was leaning up against his chair with a heavy expression.

“That son of a—bloody hell. (Y/n) I—I’m so, so sorry you had to go through that hell.”

“Brian, Roger and Adam made it easier on me. After his arrest they allowed me to take some time off from the rest of the tour that I was dealing with to decompress from all that stress. I thought I would never love someone ever again. Until……I met you.” I admitted the last part shyly.

“You—you love me?”

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I just—had to get it off my chest. So if I’ve made things awkward between us now, I’m sorry. We don’t have to see each other again.”

“(Y/n), (y/n) (y/n) (y/n) (y/n), (y/n).” Gwil came up and knelt in front of me and held my face in his hands. “Sorry you were starting to ramble on so much I could barely understand you.”

“Sorry. Adam always said I did that whenever I get to anxious. Bad trait of mine.”

“No worries love. Now to put your fears and anxiety aside, I want to tell you that I felt the same way about you. After spending these last few weeks together, I came to know the real you and not just through the stories from Brian and Roger. But now hearing this story, which I commend you for telling me. I know you didn’t have to tell me but you did. And I could go on and on about my feelings for you but to summarize it all up, if you’ll give me a chance. I’ll show you that not all men are like that selfish arsehole. I can be the man you deserve. The one who will treat you right, like you’re the only women left on Earth.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“The only girl I’ll love as much as you is my mum.” I smiled and pressed my forehead against Gwil’s and softly thanked him. “I promise (y/n). You’ll be my clever girl.”

“Think I like the sound of that.”

“Well you better get used to it, because there will be a lot of cute little nicknames in the future.”

“Just as long as you don’t give me any cheesy ones like bunny, or cupcake, or turtledove.”

“Spoil sport. And those were the first three I was thinking of.” I softly laughed as a true genuine smile came across my face. “And there’s that beautiful smile that makes me week at the knees. Next to your eyes, your smile is the brightest thing about you.”

“Gwil stop it you’re making me blush.” He softly chuckled before slowly leaning his lips towards mine and he gave me a soft kiss. When I felt that sudden bolt of electricity shoot up my spine, I knew that Gwil was definitely going to be different than Jared.  Even with that soft peck, there was so much passion and love in it that Jared never brought me.

I leaned forward and captured his lips once more, this time brushing my fingers through his short brown hair as I felt his arms slowly wrap further around me.

This was gonna be an adjustment in the days to come. After coming out of the relationship I had, I knew there would be some doubts in the future, especially with Gwil and I having separate careers always being a part from each other (me more than him) but I felt in my bones that when he made that promise earlier, he meant it.

And I was proven right that within 2 years shortly after the Bohemian Rhapsody premiere, I got a proposal right there at the red carpet.

[flvshlights]

courtney eaton. 24. genderfluid. they & them. the front bottoms. | i can’t believe i just saw LUCINDA “LUKE” ARCHULETTA walking out of cadence records. they’re the GUITAR & LEAD VOCAL from the INDIE ROCK group WE TRIED USING A BAND NAME GENERATOR who have been in the industry for SIX YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their ALOOF nature , but they’re also pretty HONEST and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of TYING FLANNELS AROUND YOUR WAIST, NEVER BEING WARM ENOUGH, PLAYING AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR IN A SHARP TUXEDO, CLAIMING YOU DON’T SMOKE MARIJUANA WHEN YOU DO, THE COMFORT AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL. 

                                     she started talking backwards , but nothing                                      good it brings her. so the next time that she                                      sees him, it’ll be peace sign + middle finger.                                      to listen as you read.

listen i always say i’ll stick with one muse and that never happens so i’ll just skip the part here where i berate myself for being weAK and instead introduce u to lukey-pookie here !! they’re a very new muse ( while also combining some essences of other muses of mine ) since normally i pick from a premade roster of my own ocs and normally use courtney for a... very different character but 1.) i’m gay and 2.) i love the front bottoms so HERE WE GO !

tws : depression, divorce, arrest, drug usage / overdose

HISTORY

So Luke was born to a regular working class family in Wilmington, Delaware - they have some relation with the famous DuPont family that built their name there, but don’t have anything to show for it since a few generations ago Luke’s great grandmother cut off the rest of her family and now they don’t speak. So Archuletta it is.

Their mom worked a typical 9-5 job and their dad was an aspiring painter - but he was always... sick. Not sick in the physical sense, no - sick in the fact he never was himself. Sick in way that Luke always thought he was so tired and sad and nothing could ever cheer him up, and they rarely spent much time with him due to his tendencies to keep to himself. So that led to an early divorce between him and Luke’s mother when they were about six years old.

So Luke’s life was relatively normal. Maybe even too normal for them. And they’d try and put themselves out there - even joining musical theatre in attempts to try and find “their group.” Musical theatre was where they’d meet Krista.

A beautiful girl who had a passion for Broadway, booze, and marijuana - she’d become Luke’s greatest friend, and even taking Luke to meet their friends she hung out with regularly after class. But they weren’t the kids you’d want to bring home to hang out with in your parents’ house. No, in fact - they were the opposite.

Bad things, those friends did - well - bad ( or rather, illegal ) things, and Luke followed along. Such as smoking pot and getting caught for it, spraypainting and defiling public areas, maybe getting into a fight or two. In an effort to fit in, Luke would do the same - but they faced the consequences they’d never thought - considering those kids seemed invincible. Untouchable. 

Setting off fireworks from the roof of an abandoned building it a bad idea. Getting arrested the cops is an even worse idea. Your friends running off before they can get caught, leaving you alone to wait for your mom to pick you up... The worst idea.

Nobody came to check on them after that.

Not even Krista.

But the next day, Luke hung out with them like nothing was wrong, following that crowd still - and it’d only reach a breaking point when they were sixteen and had to call the ambulance since Luke found Krista in the bathroom of a party unconscious due to overdose. And thank god she survived - 

And there they were again, without many friends since Krista was seemingly the only person who even came close to genuinely liking them and everyone else, they barely knew anything about. And Luke would grow, finishing high school and clinging to the only other friend they had since childhood - being convinced to write out their issues since by NOW, Luke maybe turned out a bit more cynical than they used to be.

Writings of prose and poetry turned to translating that to music - and that would be the beginning of their new life: We Tried Using A Band Name Generator.

ABOUT ‘WE TRIED’: 

‘We Tried Using A Band Name Generator’ - or more conveniently just referred to as ‘We Tried’ is probably Luke’s pride and joy. It was their friend’s idea for them to originally write out how they felt - and they mutually came up with the decision to try and write songs out of that.

A small band from Wilmington didn’t seem like it was going to get notice, and it took a little while, sure - it started with an EP titled Slow Dance to Soft Rock ( 2013 ) that made Cadence turn their way. Since the indie community definitely liked the acoustic sounds paired with raw, blunt, honest emotions pushed out in songs like The Beers and Swimming Pool. And that was when they got signed.

The first album they’d release would be six months later - self-tilted, We Tried Using A Band Name Generator. They didn’t have too much of a following at the time, but they were making good momentum enough to convince them to keep going.

Things were going so well, in fact, that during touring, Luke & their best friend / drummer actually attempted dating since - there had to be a reason they worked so well together. There had to be SOME feelings. But a million arguments later and stressful tours, overall mentally testing experiences, pushing out an EP called Rose which was as amazing as it was tacing to complete... they couldn’t do it. It was thought that when their best friend left the group in early 2016, it was thought that everyone’s new favorite indie rock group was done for.

And... Luke couldn’t let that happen. It was selfish, too, in the sense that We Tried was their biggest method of release and comfort. So instead of just giving up, they got off from tour and IMMEDIATELY hit the studio for recording and song-writing.

The product of a few months of straight work would result in their 2016 album , Talon of the Hawk - all songs pulling experiences from the split between them and their drummer to their experiences with Krista in high school. 

Au Revoir/Adios was 100% written the day after their ex-drummer left. 

Another year of touring and thankfully, four more members joined the group - producing the EP Needy When I’m Needy as a sneak peak of what was new to come. A few months later , a surprise album called Back on Top would come out. 

The next three years would work well - with the band releasing another EP titled Ann and the inklings sprinkled of the next album - Going Grey.  

SO IN CASE THAT WAS TOO COMPLEX BC I RAMBLE... again, general timeline:

February 2013: Release of Slow Dance to Soft Rock

March 2013: We Tried is signed to Cadence

August 2014: Release of Self-Titled.

September 2014: Both members of We Tried start dating.

July 2015: Release of Rose.

December 2015: Nearing the end of touring, We Tried’s drummer quits and the pair breaks up. Touring officially ends later that month.

January 2016: Luke Archuletta announces they’ll be taking time to focus on a brand new album.

August 2016: Release of the rushed but extremely well-received Talon of the Hawk.

July 2017: We Tried introduces four new members.

October 2017: Release of Needy When I’m Needy.

March 2018: Release of the surprise album Back on Top.

January 2019: Release of the EP Ann, paired with the announcement production of the next album will begin soon.

March: Two songs - Peace Sign & You Used to Say (Holy Fuck) are released to tease Going Grey.

July 2018: Release of Going Grey. 

SO YOU CAN SORT OF TELL THE TIMELINE IS SPEEDY - because that’s a big part of how Luke sort of... overworks themselves and hyperfocuses on their music. Especially since ever since their first drummer left, they haven’t let go of the idea they can only rely on themselves. 

BUT MORE ABOUT THE BAND - We Tried’s aesthetic is sort of The Front Bottoms mixed with the Young Veins - Luke’s especially fond of showing up in suits, vests, etc. despite the normally blunt & uncouth content of the songs. 

There is literally always something being made. Luke can’t sleep without having something in the works. 

And... yeah that’s it honestly it’s rly just TFB but with a TWIST! 

ABOUT LUKE 

5′10, genderfluid bisexual bby who honestly just wants a nap

SOOOO yes, Luke’s a very chill individual but chill in the sense that... they just. Don’t care. Except when it comes to their work - then they work the hardest they can on that shit and have to pay attention to every little detail.

They’re still not actually sure if they have any talent - musical theater never seemed to work out, so why is a band doing that??

But they do have one thing down pat - directing. All of We Tried’s videos have so far been directed by Luke, save for a few. 

This comes from Luke’s longtime adoration of film and cinema, from the perspective of an observer and a director.

They DO have a tendency to be a little... clingy and aloof at the same time. They’re always worried about being in the position of trying to keep a band of only one person alive again but also they don’t really notice they can other people to do things for them now.

They’re independent to a fault, in that case.

And also now finally getting a hang of not falling into peer pressure since it’s just made them cynical and aloof from people now.

They’re v grateful for their bandmates tho!! Don’t get me wrong, they love them!

Luke’s more of someone who communicates their appreciation through gestures and actions than words - setting a blanket on you while you sleep, getting new drumsticks if you broke yours, making coffee in the morning when you’ve forgotten. That kind of stuff.

They don’t get a lot of sleep for the sole reason they sort of have tendencies to keep themselves awake just... thinking. Luke thinks a lot. Luke’s actually wack-levels of intelligent, and it does show in their music save for when they’re making odd comments and obscure references.

Luke talks about tattoos a lot, but they’re actually barren since they’re afraid of needles. 

They also don’t drink, but they do smoke marijuana. But they’ll never admit to it - ...like TFB even though they have a MILLION songs that mention recreational use of the drug.

They sort of don’t really know where their purpose is, still - and that does lead them into a depression of their own, much like their father. They don’t talk to him and their mother that much nowadays - considering, the dream was always that Luke be a lawyer or a doctor and not the crass musician that they are.

They’re lowkey a fucking comedian but in the dry, deadpan humor sense. Most of their interviews consist of them making some joke that either takes a little while for the interviewer to get or one that makes the room silent for a quick minute. Or, even worse, they’re taken seriously.

Despite this aloofness, though, they actually thrive on being around other people. They’re sort of relearning how to accept that, though, since again, they’ve been shelling themselves up in their own work for quite some time. 

Also lowkey a bit of a flirt bt u didn’t hear that from me

Rides a motorcycle partially to look cool and also... bc they have the song ‘Motorcycle’ which was about them. Trying to learn how to ride a motorcycle so it just kind of stuck.

They’ve got another talent in dancing, since they took ballet classes throughout middle school to high school - but had to quit after they got arrested. Shame.

Their one dream was to be Ariel in the Broadway production of The Little Mermaid when they were younger since... they also love the sea��and Disney Princesses so much secretly, but they’ve sort of given up on that.

Their love for the sea’s also because of where they’re from - Delaware beaches are beautiful and were Luke’s happy place back then. 

Most of their loves and interests are sprinkled in their songs, in that case - Delaware scenery, references of Disney films, etc.

They’re a very... complex individual. But god I lOVE them.

WCs

THE DRUMMER. PLS GIVE ME THE DRUMMER. I HAV IT ON THE MAIN... PLS GIVE ME THE OG DRUMMER THAT LEFT AND NOW HAS A SOLO CAREER OR IS IN ANOTHER BAND ELSEWHERE. PLS.

also the current bandmates. that would b. cool.

if ppl from luke’s old squad can show up now w/ their own careers... that would b. cool.

kids who they went to high school with that r surprised where they are now.

enemies in the music scene who don’t like luke or we tried for a multitude of reasons

maybe they think luke’s secretly a conceited dick underneath the ‘distant mysterious songwriter’ schtick

mayBBEEEE they think the nature of we tried’s songs are some sort of keep gimmick to try and cash in on being ‘casual’ and ‘relatable’

maybe they just don’t like the damn band i mean. yeah.

any reason. pls.

hook-ups bc i’ll b honest they are... a bit of a flirt. let luke serenade u w/ shit like “historic cemetery” cowards,

a rebound sort of?? probably very short-lived, but i can see luke wanting to get their mind off from their ex/drummer leaving and falling fast into another relationship - and that wouldn’t work out bc of it.

i’d also lov a plot where maybe sb discovers luke’s talent for dancing bc they do it for recreational purposes semi-often now?? 

maybe they can attend a class together or smth

or they just do it for fun at luke’s place

idk this cld go anywhere n it’s honestly adorable

ppl that they befriend who they can just. take back to delaware one day.

or even ppl they just hang out with to relive the ‘good ol days’

trips to the beach

buying store bought fireworks n setting them off

going on camping trips n shit

i’d lov a plot where there’s one person who just thinks luke is like... a MYSTERY and they just get closer and closer in attempts to try and figure that mystery out

also 100% open to brainstorming! i’ll actually get 2 interacting tmr bc it’s 2:30 AM nearly here n i want to sleep so yeah! chances are tho if u like this i’ll message u for plotting!! again if u want my discord - hmu @ rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329. :^)

i love the front bottoms so much

[thesinglesjukebox]

BILLIE EILISH - BAD GUY

[6.93]

The Jukebox has thoughts on Billie Eilish? Well, duh.

Andy Hutchins: Nothing clicked for me with Billie Eilish until "Bad Guy." I understood the appeal intellectually, because it has sometimes been my wheelhouse: "Prodigy-cast makes off-kilter pop music from a perspective with more than a little precociousness and possibly a feminine spin that serves to disrupt rather than reify" is my jam for months at a time, sometimes. But some combination of prodigy and precociousness sometimes striking me as preciousness -- something that I've occasionally found issue with in the work of Sky Ferreira and Solange and Lorde and Cher Lloyd and fka twigs and Haim and Kacey Musgraves and Lana Del Rey and so many women who have occupied this same treacherous lane where deviating from delivering what is expected from a young woman making pop music can offend the sensibilities (or engage the biases) of even someone who has strained to stave off the stupidity of dismissing music made by young women and largely intended for young women -- and what I read as a deliberately dark and standoffish aesthetic put me off of Eilish, whose stuff just didn't compel me. Everything clicks for me with Billie Eilish now that I've heard "Bad Guy," which I reckon is pathetic on my part, because so much of the DNA of "Bad Guy" is in other work she's done that the things that differentiate it as The Hit and The Breakthrough come down to tempo and a kooky synth run in the hook that every third YouTube commenter thinks is stolen from Plants vs. Zombies. But "Bad Guy" is also an unassailable pop song and has come along at a time when bulletproof ones are not occupying the charts -- the closest competition in the current top 40 by my sight is, like, a Katy Perry song whose verses let down its magnificent hook, a bunch of drowsy-to-dire Khalid and Halsey tunes, a C- effort from Taylor Swift, and a microwaved Lizzo track that I've known of for a while and don't consider her best stuff -- and so it stands out even more from the pop metagame than the larger Eilish oeuvre does from a host of less realized tunes. And I'm a sucker for an unassailable pop song, especially one with a vocal initially delivered so low that it demands attention to the dial in the car but that is by turns brightly funny ("...duh!") and world-weary and campy to the hilt (the titular phrase being stretched to a titanium crocodile's rasp), a relentless bass line that sounds like a monster's heartbeat echoing in a cave, and lyrics that constitute a semi-sincere embrace of some Lolita tropes and a more powerful sarcastic destruction of them while somehow also being fully ready for Instagram captions and Twitter display names and ... well, no one's on Tumblr anymore. But that's hardly Billie's fault, and I'm not docking points for only barely failing to raise the dead with a virtuosic song that makes me this glad to be alive. [10]

Alfred Soto: There's a reason this song has become the breakout hit besides its insidious keyboard hook: Billie Eilish sings not mumbles the gender bending hook. Otherwise a ditty that the top 40 could use more of; its quietness is a tonic. [8]

Joshua Copperman: Sounds great, looks great (if possibly plagarized), memes great. The deadpan anti-sexuality of "might-seduce-your-dad type" is "Guys My Age" done right. The delivery of "my soul, so cynical" like even that is too earnest of a statement. The only weak part is the ending switch-up. But you knew all that already. Duh. Besides the cries of "industry plant!" there's also the ongoing sense that Eilish is a music writers' idea of what a 17-year-old Tumblr-born pop star would sound like. And sure, she's a young music writers' dream; I have a byline at Billboard because of her. But also, it's genuinely smart music that is mostly set to age well, even if it's hard to tell if it m a t t e r s. Who knows what 17-year-olds of any predilection towards seducing dads are actually listening to; I'm 21 and finding that out is only getting more difficult, if maybe not more necessary. If teens still control popular culture, if anyone does, who knows if this really does reflect them, or if its bottomless angst is mocked like Limp Bizkit? Is "Bad Guy" just "Heathens" for the late-2010s? Does this really represent the next generation? And which next generation; the shit-talking saviors, or the ones just like their parents and the radicalized alt-right kids? There's no easy answer to any of these, no "duh" to shrug them off. But there is Eilish and co. applying the daily grind of apocalyptic dread to smaller-scale topics. Processing death on "Bury a Friend," processing one's own body image on "idontwannabeyouanymore," processing changing gender roles here. Finding your place in 2019 is a lot for anyone. No one is getting it right. What Eilish does instead is turn that uncertainty to playfulness, confidently existing within the mess instead of trying to find her spot. [8]

Leah Isobel: I was on Tumblr in 2011, so "might seduce your dad type" doesn't feel as provocative as she might intend. (Also, Halsey did the exact same thing.) Besides, pop is a space for fantasy and role-playing, and she's not the first 16-year old bad girl to make adults freak out a little. What gets me is that the song itself is a brilliant production piece in search of an equally compelling melody; the biggest hooks here are an audible eye-roll and a Tim Burton rip. I love the idea of Billie as a goth-teen-pop star, and the choice to swerve into a spooky outro instead of a more traditional structure is genuinely a lot of fun, but this all feels like so much posturing -- normal for a teenager, but not that compelling to listen to on its own. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: If Billie Eilish is the Gen Z Fiona Apple, which I've heard from about three separate people even before the Discourse started, then "Bad Guy" is her "Criminal," down to it being creep flypaper. Everyone quotes that one dad line a bit too eagerly, like they're subconsciously thinking that if they have the pithiest take they just might get to be the dad. (It isn't even the most suggestive line.) There's a strong case for the dad being the bad guy, if only because he's, well, the guy. But "Bad Guy" lives in the world of teenage politics, where the guys just are and the girls get their badness thrust upon them, and their choices are to shrink away or play along. Duh. ("Bad Guy" : "duh" :: "Your Love Is My Drug" : "I like your beard.") But all this is pretty serious analysis for a fundamentally trolly song: half-mumbling the melody to a beat I'm pretty sure I made in a high school to go with a video project; rhyming bad/mad/sad/dad like a Mavis Beacon keyboarding tutorial (or whatever the kids have now; maybe they're just born typing); crooning an exceedingly Lana Del Rey-ish "I'm only good at being bad" then immediately cutting that crap for a bassy, fuck-off breakdown; filling only about 60% of the song with, like, song. [6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Not the most impressive or cohesive Billie Eilish song, but it is the one most likely to remind you of how fun her music can be (that she included the Invisalign skit in the video helps). The coda is fine, but the best reversal is found elsewhere: the nonchalant cries of duh followed by a cartoonish synth melody, underlining just how playful the song's darker elements are. [6]

Josh Langhoff: Eilish sometimes sounds like the Cardigans if they only did Black Sabbath covers, "evil" squeezed between an extra set of scare quotes, and sometimes she's Nellie McKay on downers, ennui shaped like wit but without the laughs. Sometimes she's good and sometimes she sings ballads. And somehow that combination produced "Bad Guy," the elusive Somehow Perfect Pop Song That Sounds Like Nothing Else On The Radio. I can't say I love it, but all her murmuring and posturing makes Top 40 radio seem, after too many years, like a playground of endless possibility. What'd we do to deserve this and "Old Town Road"? [8]

Jessica Doyle: Yes. Some are red, and some are blue. Some are old, and some are new. Some are sad, and some are glad, and some are very, very bad. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know. Go ask why that menacing bass and Eilish's whisper didn't deserve better lyrics. [4]

Tobi Tella: Billie Eilish's artistic direction and style of music makes it seem almost impossible for her to make a legitimate banger, but this fits in perfectly with the rest of her album tone-wise and also completely slaps. The simplicity of the production, literally created in a bedroom just adds to the perfect low-key vibe. The lyrics do make Billie sound a little like a teenager who will cringe reading them in 10 years, but as an 18 year old, sometimes doing stupid stuff you know is destructive and immature is FUN, and this completely captures that feeling. [8]

Will Adams: I love love love the idea of this shifty, close mic'd oddball dancepop song being as big of a mainstream hit as it is, even if it's one of the more slight offerings from the album. Extra point for the coda, where Billie drops the coy and reminds you how quick she is to put her foot on your neck. [7]

Pedro João Santos: The coda lamentably inverts the light heart of "Bad Guy": the colourful, whispered titillation conjugated with what's left unsaid, a sort of puerile pleasure dutifully translated by the Theremin-esque synths; not the heady, overlong consummation that it unfolds onto by the end. I must say I'm exhilarated that someone knew how to ape "Las de La Intuición" nearly 15 years on, although startled by the fact that it was Billie Eilish the one to do it. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Done well, it's enjoyable to hear a musician having such fun, but especially so when one unexpected element of a song comes in to underline just how much fun they're having. In this case, it's the gloopy searchlight noise, playing out like the theme tune to a 1970s cop show set in space, in a way that cannot be anything but gleefully goofy. Such bold and playful invention is something pop music would suffer without. Extra points for the consideration to leave a gap before the outro so that radio stations can cut it out. [8]

Iris Xie: I still think this song should've been cut off at the 2:14 mark, because it said everything it needed to say. [5]

Katie Gill: That purposefully obnoxious "duh" sums up what Eilish wants to say more than the rest of the song combined (and is currently in the running for my favorite 2 seconds of 2019 pop music). This image of her as the bad guy isn't serious. It's bratty and playful, more her creating something she can have fun with instead of taking herself seriously. Unfortunately, that something interesting here is buried in a three minute piece that somehow manages to be three completely different songs which never actually coheres to a single whole. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[cover2covermom]

Goodbye August & hello September!

I read 9 books in August… none of which were on my August TBR.   I don’t think I’ve ever failed this badly on a TBR before.  I blame the fact that I was finishing up books that rolled over from July and books coming into the library off my library hold list… Oh well!

Let’s see what I DID read & blog in August…

» How to Stop Time by Matt Haig

*2.5 Stars*

How to Stop Time was just an okay read for me.  While I think the concept for this story was interesting & thought provoking, there was something missing in the story for me.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Reviews: August 2019 – Part 2

» The Book Worm of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson

*4.5 Stars*

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek is a historical fiction set in the 1930s in the hills of Kentucky.  How could I NOT love a book about a pack horse librarian that braves the unforgiving land to deliver books to impoverished families?  Be still my heart!   If you enjoy historical fiction where the author really focuses on setting the scene and taking you back in time, I’d recommend this book.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Reviews: August 2019 – Part 2

» A Game of Thrones (A Song of Fire and Ice #1) by George R.R. Martin

Not sure why I put this book off so long.  It’s SOOOOOOO freaking good!

» Elmer and the Dragon (My Father’s Dragon #2) by Ruth Stiles Gannett

My 5-year-old loved the first book in this series, so we decided to continue on.  While the second book was not as good as the first, it was still a cute read.

» The Library Book by Susan Orlean

This book was absolutely fascinating!  If you are a lover of libraries, I highly recommend it!

» After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid

While not my favorite Taylor Jenkins Reid novel, After I Do is a solid contemporary novel.  This book was extremely relatable & an honest portrayal of relationships.  This would make for an excellent book club discussion on long-term relationships and marriage.

» Gratitude Daily: 21 Days to More Joy and Less Stress by Nataly Kogan

This was a quick little audiobook all about practicing gratitude.  I found the tips and techniques in practicing gratitude to be practical and achievable.  Listening to this book definitely gave me a fresh perspective on gratitude and the benefits of practicing gratitude.

» Book Girl: A Journey Through the Treasures and Transforming Power of a Reading Life by Sarah Clarkson

*3.5 Stars*

I loved learning about Sarah’s journey & her connection to books.  I think Sarah has excellent reading tastes, and will probably borrow the physical copy from the library to copy down all the reading recommendation lists.  I gave it 3.5 stars because it was too heavily focused on religion & faith for my tastes.

» Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Gods of Jade and Shadow was one of my most anticipated books of 2019, but it came up a bit short for me.  The story felt like a fairy tale filled with Mexican folklore, which I loved, but the book felt very surface level.

Goodreads Challenge Update: 85/100 books read

I am currently 19 books ahead of schedule on my 2019 Goodreads reading challenge.  I think it is probably safe to say I will hit 100 books sometime in October.

#YARC2019 Update: 14 books read

Year of Asian Reading Challenge TBR + Progress Tracker #YARC2019

I did not finish any books for #YARC2019 in August, but I did start The Dragon Republic (The Poppy War #2), which will count for September.

2019 Goals Update:

» 80% NetGalley feedback ratio = 15 backlist ARCs ⇒ 7/15 ARCs read

» 30 physical TBR books ⇒ 18/30 books read

I read A Game of Thrones off my physical TBR this month!

» No buying new books ⇒ #EpicFail

See below.  I just couldn’t help myself.  Damn you Book Outlet!

» Read long books I’ve been putting off ⇒ 1/3 books read

July 2019 Reading & Blogging Wrap-Up

August 2019 TBR: ARC August #Reviewathon

Kids’ Corner: Ocean: Secrets of the Deep by Sabrina Weiss & Giulia De Amicis

Book Review: The Twelve by Cindy Lin

My #IronTomeAThon 2019 Wrap-Up

Mini Book Reviews: August 2019 – Part 1

Mini Book Reviews: August 2019 – Part 2

» An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

A skilled painter must stand up to the ancient power of the faerie courts—even as she falls in love with a faerie prince—in this gorgeous debut novel.

Isobel is a prodigy portrait artist with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread, weave cloth, or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life.

Furious and devastated, Rook spirits her away to the autumnlands to stand trial for her crime. Waylaid by the Wild Hunt’s ghostly hounds, the tainted influence of the Alder King, and hideous monsters risen from barrow mounds, Isobel and Rook depend on one another for survival. Their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

» A Curse So Dark and Lonely (Cursebreakers #1) by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse.

Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year, Prince Rhen, the heir of Emberfall, thought he could be saved easily if a girl fell for him. But that was before he turned into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. Before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, Harper learned to be tough enough to survive. When she tries to save a stranger on the streets of Washington, DC, she’s pulled into a magical world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom.

Harper doesn’t know where she is or what to believe. A prince? A curse? A monster? As she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what’s at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

» The Gilded Wolves (The Gilded Wolves #1) by Roshni

No one believes in them. But soon no one will forget them.

It’s 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

To hunt down the ancient artifact the Order seeks, Séverin calls upon a band of unlikely experts: An engineer with a debt to pay. A historian banished from his home. A dancer with a sinister past. And a brother in arms if not blood.

Together, they will join Séverin as he explores the dark, glittering heart of Paris. What they find might change the course of history–but only if they can stay alive.

» Hum If You Don’t Know the Words by Bianca Marais

Perfect for readers of The Secret Life of Bees and The Help, a perceptive and searing look at Apartheid-era South Africa, told through one unique family brought together by tragedy.

Life under Apartheid has created a secure future for Robin Conrad, a nine-year-old white girl living with her parents in 1970s Johannesburg. In the same nation but worlds apart, Beauty Mbali, a Xhosa woman in a rural village in the Bantu homeland of the Transkei, struggles to raise her children alone after her husband’s death. Both lives have been built upon the division of race, and their meeting should never have occurred . . . until the Soweto Uprising, in which a protest by black students ignites racial conflict, alters the fault lines on which their society is built, and shatters their worlds when Robin’s parents are left dead and Beauty’s daughter goes missing. 

After Robin is sent to live with her loving but irresponsible aunt, Beauty is hired to care for Robin while continuing the search for her daughter. In Beauty, Robin finds the security and family that she craves, and the two forge an inextricable bond through their deep personal losses. But Robin knows that if Beauty finds her daughter, Robin could lose her new caretaker forever, so she makes a desperate decision with devastating consequences. Her quest to make amends and find redemption is a journey of self-discovery in which she learns the harsh truths of the society that once promised her protection. 

Told through Beauty and Robin’s alternating perspectives, the interwoven narratives create a rich and complex tapestry of the emotions and tensions at the heart of Apartheid-era South Africa. Hum if You Don’t Know the Words is a beautifully rendered look at loss, racism, and the creation of family.

» Once Upon A River by Diane Setterfield

On a dark midwinter’s night in an ancient inn on the river Thames, an extraordinary event takes place. The regulars are telling stories to while away the dark hours, when the door bursts open on a grievously wounded stranger. In his arms is the lifeless body of a small child. Hours later, the girl stirs, takes a breath and returns to life. Is it a miracle? Is it magic? Or can science provide an explanation? These questions have many answers, some of them quite dark indeed.

Those who dwell on the river bank apply all their ingenuity to solving the puzzle of the girl who died and lived again, yet as the days pass the mystery only deepens. The child herself is mute and unable to answer the essential questions: Who is she? Where did she come from? And to whom does she belong? But answers proliferate nonetheless.

Three families are keen to claim her. A wealthy young mother knows the girl is her kidnapped daughter, missing for two years. A farming family reeling from the discovery of their son’s secret liaison, stand ready to welcome their granddaughter. The parson’s housekeeper, humble and isolated, sees in the child the image of her younger sister. But the return of a lost child is not without complications and no matter how heartbreaking the past losses, no matter how precious the child herself, this girl cannot be everyone’s. Each family has mysteries of its own, and many secrets must be revealed before the girl’s identity can be known.

Once Upon a River is a glorious tapestry of a book that combines folklore and science, magic and myth. Suspenseful, romantic, and richly atmospheric, the beginning of this novel will sweep you away on a powerful current of storytelling, transporting you through worlds both real and imagined, to the triumphant conclusion whose depths will continue to give up their treasures long after the last page is turned.

» The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart

Five years.

That’s how long Coyote and her dad, Rodeo, have lived on the road in an old school bus, criss-crossing the nation.

It’s also how long ago Coyote lost her mom and two sisters in a car crash.

Coyote hasn’t been home in all that time, but when she learns that the park in her old neighborhood is being demolished―the very same park where she, her mom, and her sisters buried a treasured memory box―she devises an elaborate plan to get her dad to drive 3,600 miles back to Washington state in four days…without him realizing it.

Along the way, they’ll pick up a strange crew of misfit travelers. Lester has a lady love to meet. Salvador and his mom are looking to start over. Val needs a safe place to be herself. And then there’s Gladys…

Over the course of thousands of miles, Coyote will learn that going home can sometimes be the hardest journey of all…but that with friends by her side, she just might be able to turn her “once upon a time” into a “happily ever after.”

» Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno

A magic passed down through generations . . . 

Georgina Fernweh waits with growing impatience for the tingle of magic in her fingers—magic that has been passed down through every woman in her family. Her twin sister, Mary, already shows an ability to defy gravity. But with their eighteenth birthday looming at the end of this summer, Georgina fears her gift will never come.

An island where strange things happen . . . 

No one on the island of By-the-Sea would ever call the Fernwehs what they really are, but if you need the odd bit of help—say, a sleeping aid concocted by moonlight—they are the ones to ask.

No one questions the weather, as moody and erratic as a summer storm.

No one questions the (allegedly) three-hundred-year-old bird who comes to roost on the island every year.

A summer that will become legend . . . 

When tragedy strikes, what made the Fernweh women special suddenly casts them in suspicion. Over the course of her last summer on the island—a summer of storms, of love, of salt—Georgina will learn the truth about magic, in all its many forms.

» Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams

*Won in a Goodreads giveaway*

Queenie Jenkins is a 25-year-old Jamaican British woman living in London, straddling two cultures and slotting neatly into neither. She works at a national newspaper, where she’s constantly forced to compare herself to her white middle class peers. After a messy break up from her long-term white boyfriend, Queenie seeks comfort in all the wrong places…including several hazardous men who do a good job of occupying brain space and a bad job of affirming self-worth.

As Queenie careens from one questionable decision to another, she finds herself wondering, “What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Who do you want to be?”—all of the questions today’s woman must face in a world trying to answer them for her.

With “fresh and honest” (Jojo Moyes) prose, Queenie is a remarkably relatable exploration of what it means to be a modern woman searching for meaning in today’s world.

Which books did you read this month?

Have you read any of the books I read or hauled this month?  If so, what did you think?

Did you buy any books?  If so, which ones?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

August 2019 Reading & Blogging Wrap-Up + Book Haul Goodbye August & hello September! I read 9 books in August... none of which were on my 

[goldbergjonblog]

Lobster Boy

"We got lobster boy! I think it's a two parter,” and then there was a bit of a celebration in the office. This was the high point of my first Hollywood gig, writing recreation scenes (like recreating a scene from real life, not recreation like volleyball or ping pong) for a 1994 tv show called Behind Bars. The show could be described as a low grade, reality based look at crime from all perspectives - cop, victim and criminal. The low grade aspect comes from the insane production timeline and the lack of...of...caring on anyone's part. A story would get a green light on a Thursday. Interviews of criminals, victims and law enforcement were held on Friday. We wrote the script on Sunday and Monday. Casted it Monday afternoon. Shot it on Tuesday. Edited it on Wednesday and Thursday. Aired it on Friday. Not much room for…thought or creativity. What gave it a bit of notoriety was that it was hosted by Darryl Gates. This was Gates' post riot, post retirement move, to host a show that sympathizes with criminals and victims, probably his two weakest demographics. The producers stuck with this head-scratcher for twenty five episodes. The final twenty five were handled by the more grounded and more respected Paul Sorvino. I was there for the transition and we didn't skip a beat, because we had no time for the beat to skip.

The process started with the news, not the front page, but more like the local crime blotter. We called this the research department. A producer would dig up "interesting" crime stories. Victims also played a huge role, as most of the time the stories would come from their transcripts, if they were still alive, as well as the transcripts of the criminals, who were ultimately the "stars". It was truly stomach turning stuff to work on, and these stories were generally ones that were passed up by the tv movie crowds, the Inside Edition crew and the 20/20's of the time, which I think was 20/20. But, hey, I got paid to write on a TV show.

When I moved to Los Angeles in 1992 I was committed. I went for it. I would write as much as I could - spec scripts, screenplays, anything, and while I was waiting for that big break I took any job I could find. My first one was as a pre-production assistant on the film "Amos & Andrew" starring Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson. Remember it? Exactly. Not my fault. It was being produced by Castle Rock and, at the time, there was no hotter place to be. Seinfeld was just taking off, they were making great movies and the top people in the industry were milling about. I would make copies, get coffee for auditioning actors, make sure they signed the sheet when they arrived, you know, a part of the industry. I drove my grey Jeep from Brentwood to Beverly Hills and parked it in a lot, with a pass, no validation needed. I was validated every day. The only things missing were money, fame and anyone seeing me as a writer. On one of those perfect days I was late, my guess is horrific traffic not just on Santa Monica but on Little Santa Monica too, and I rushed to get to the office, parked my car and started going about my very insignificant business. About an hour later a guy comes into our small office and just yells out "who the fuck parked in Rob's spot? A grey Jeep?". I think I blurted out an "oh shit" and just weaseled down to the parking lot where I saw as clear as day that my car was parked in a spot that said "reserved for Rob Reiner." Now most Hollywood stories like that end with the PA shlub getting his big break. But not this shlub. Still waiting.

I was writing spec script after spec script, almost getting the break and almost getting an agent. Because the biggest Catch-22 in Hollywood was that in order to get someone to read your scripts, you needed an agent but an agent wouldn't read any unsolicited scripts, basically a weeding out phase. But they did read the cover letter, so instead of writing a generic cover letter I made the letter my material, because I realized that was my only shot at them reading anything of mine. The cover letter exposed the Catch-22 successfully as I asked the agents not to read the enclosed material because I understood that they couldn’t read unsolicited stuff, but I asked them if they had a sister or a daughter that I could meet in order to get in good with them, take advantage of the pervasive nepotism and therefore make the work solicited or at least make the point moot. It actually worked as agents enjoyed the cover letter, gave me a pass and started reading my work, which got me an agent. It did little to move the needle but I made it through phase one. Naturally in Los Angeles you run into people going through the same struggle and frustrations. One night I had plans to meet up with my brother, who was in town for work in sports production doing a baseball game. The announcer of that game was from Boston and he had an actor friend that he wanted to see. We all met at a bar in Santa Monica and I started talking to Matt, the actor friend who, to double his punishment, was also a screenwriter. We shared our Hollywood horror stories and talked about the things we were working on. He mentioned that he and his buddy were in the middle of a feature script about two friends from Boston. We wished each other good luck and he must have gotten all of it because two years later I saw Matt Damon again, accepting an Oscar for that script. Me, I was slumming it, writing on TV.

I had been somewhat exposed to tabloid journalism as my roommate was a producer in that world. She had worked on Hard Copy and was in LA to make a made for tv movie about a killer in Texas called the Texas Twister Killer. It had something to do with a guy that killed his wife during a tornado, or after a tornado, or maybe he threw her into a tornado. She looked at news and stories completely differently than I did. When the World Trade Center was bombed in 1993 she didn't see tragedy, she saw opportunity, making calls to friends who were there to get the scoop on perpetrators and victims. She was looking for angles. One day the phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello"

(heavy southern drawl on the other end) "Is Betsy there?"

"No she's not. Can I take a message?"

"Yeah, I'm calling about the Texas umm...murder thing."

"Oh right, right she mentioned you'd be calling. Sheriff...."

"Well no. This is...well I'm the...I'm calling cuz we had arranged a specific time to call. I'm only available like once a day and this was our scheduled time. I'll have to call back tomorrow."

Click

Later to Betsy.

"I think you're killer called."

"Shit! He's calling back tomorrow right?"

"It sounded like he could fit it into his schedule."

So there was an ick all around me. An old work friend of my Mom's who I reconnected with was a producer/director for Behind Bars and he mentioned that they needed writers that could take the crime and the sound bites and turn them into a story. I told him I was in. It had the title writer in it. All I had to do was transcribe the interviews, pick the key moments and write those scenes out. They had no money so they scraped together whatever they could production wise, costume wise and acting wise. Each episode consisted of some unbelievable mistakes in logic, appearance and just plain "why would they ever put that on film" moments. False mustaches would be falling off, clothes wouldn't fit or match from scene to scene, and actors would be seen reading cue cards like a Saturday Night Live skit. I had to transcribe lines like this doozy from a crack addict - "the rock was the monster". But I wanted to get a feel for the whole operation so I asked to go on a shoot. I picked the perfect one.

The story was simple, and remember we weren't doing The Great Train Robbery or Heat. This was lowlife scum who would be willing to talk to a camera out of some hope that it would free them from jail when dramatically depicted. The crime involved a man who was on line at a grocery store when he noticed the overweight man in front of him flashing a hundred dollar bill to pay for his food. So our hero (criminal) decides to follow the plump guy to his car, hit him in the head with a baseball bat, stuff him in his own car and drive off with his money, his car and his knocked out body in the trunk. Not exactly Ocean's Eleven. Easy enough for a re-creation scene. The rest of the scenes were interviews and recaps by our host, the esteemed Captain Gates in what would be his series swan song. The interior shoot of the store went great, the bad guy looked bad, like every Timothy Olyphant part in his first six movies, and the victim looked like he didn't see it coming, a nervous Josh Gadd type.

As the shoot moved outside and the crew began to block the scene something became very apparent. Clearly the nonexistent props department didn't cross reference with the nonexistent casting department because our victim was too big to fit in the trunk of the prop car, which was the director's gorgeous BMW convertible. They kept trying to shut the trunk on our portly thespian, and as the trunk kept bouncing back up there was an audible "ouch" from our victim, who was stuffed in there like silly putty in a container, parts just spilling out. They wanted to prove he could fit, with no care of how it would look on film, and we had to get him into the trunk because the real crime wasn't the theft of a hundred dollars or even knocking him out. The real crime was driving away with him in the trunk. Kidnapping was the reason the guy was in jail and the purpose of the entire episode. So we couldn't just knock him out and leave him in the parking lot.

Eventually these geniuses accepted the fact that they needed a different car for the stuffing of our victim. The other option we had was, I shit you not, a Gremlin. This was meant for our criminal. It was perfect for him. But it was deemed more perfect for our victim as he could fit, positioned fetally, in the hatchback trunk. All they had to do was switch the cars and no harm done right? Sure. This is how the scene was scripted:

-    Criminal drives his Gremlin to the grocery store parking lot just as our victim gets out of his brand new BMW convertible, an obvious target.

-    Criminal follows his mark into the store.

-    As they are in the check out line the criminal gets confirmation that he's chosen well as the target flashes a hundred dollar bill.

-    Criminal follows the victim to the BMW, waits as the victim pops the trunk to put his grocery bag inside. As the trunk opens the criminal sees a baseball bat in the trunk. He grabs the victim's bat and quickly hits him on the head with it, knocking him out.

-    Criminal stuffs the victim’s body in the trunk, shuts the trunk and drives off in the BMW, leaving his shitty Gremlin in the lot to be picked up later.

This made sense from a story standpoint.

Here is what was shot and AIRED because of our portly victim:

-    CRIMINAL drives his brand new BMW convertible into the grocery store parking lot just as our VICTIM gets out of his GREMLIN, a not so obvious target for our criminal.

-    Criminal follows his target into the store

-    As they are in the check out line the criminal is surprised that he's chosen well as the target flashes a hundred dollar bill.

-    Criminal follows the victim to the Gremlin, waits as the victim pops the trunk to put his grocery bag inside. As the trunk opens the criminal sees a baseball bat in the trunk. He grabs the victim's bat and quickly bops him on the head with it, knocking him out.

-    Criminal easily stuffs the victim in the trunk of the Gremlin, shuts the trunk and drives off in the shitty Gremlin, leaving his brand new BMW convertible in the lot to be picked up later.

This made absolutely no sense from a story standpoint. There was a lot of shrugging and acceptance. There was no time to contemplate the stupidity of the decision. So they went with it. And it aired, like that. Darryl Gates should’ve gone to jail for this.

With this as the bar it makes a little sense that there was a celebration in obtaining the "Lobster Boy" story. It was their biggest "get" yet as many family members, law enforcement and victims agreed to do it and it was actually a fairly infamous story, almost legit. It was worthy of a two parter.

Grady Stiles was born with an affliction called ectrodactyly, where his fingers and toes were fused together to form claw-like hands and feet. Stiles' stage name was "Lobster Boy". This was genetic and he was the sixth in a line that began with the birth of his great, great, great grandfather in 1805. Grady Stiles' father was a sideshow attraction in a traveling carnival when his son was born and added him to the act at a young age. As Grady grew up in the circus it became his life, really only being exposed to this world and not much else. Grady married twice and had four children, two of whom also had the affliction and joined Grady on the carnival tour as The Lobster Family. When not traveling with the carnival the family lived in Gibsonton, Florida where many other carnival performers lived during the winter season. Due to his condition, he was unable to walk and while he often used a wheelchair, he mostly used his hands and arms to move around, which lead to incredible upper body strength that, when combined with his temper and alcohol consumption, made him dangerous to his family and others. He was a scary guy and often followed through on his threats. In 1978, Stiles shot and killed his oldest daughter's fiancé on the eve of their wedding, but he wasn’t sent to prison as no state institution was equipped to care for someone with his condition. So he got fifteen years probation and during this time he stopped drinking for a bit and remarried his first wife, Maria. However, he soon began drinking again and his family claimed that he became even more abusive, one time Army crawling from the kitchen into the bedroom with a knife in his mouth until he got to a sleeping Maria, putting the knife to her throat and threatening her. In 1992 Maria and her son from a previous marriage hired a sideshow performer to kill Stiles for $1500. He shot him three times in the back of the head, killing Grady instantly. All three were brought to trial and convicted. In her defense, Maria told the judge, "My husband was going to kill my family. I believe that from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry this happened, but my family is safe now."

Can you say goldmine? We had the script down and the story was quite compelling, with amazing characters and dramatic moments that we could heighten. But what was really going to make this episode sing were the prosthetics. We went the distance on this one and decided to build the claws. The day before the shoot the prosthetics arrived in the office and everyone was excited to see what the art department came up with. We gathered around to look at the artistry and sitting on the table was...an oven mitt...painted a flesh-like color. The team agreed that this was acceptable (let's remember where the bar is set for this collection of artists). Our actor could wear it and we wouldn't shoot it too close up. If Spielberg could shoot around a flawed robotic shark, we could shoot around six dollar Bed, Bath and Beyond oven mitts.

The script was snappy and rich but we didn't have a title for the show. The writing was on the wall that Behind Bars was not getting a season 2. Shocking. Was it the actors we found on the streets? Was it the poor communication between props and casting? Were we running out of stories? Why would this show not make it? Maybe because it was the campiest, sleaziest, most uncomfortable show I've ever seen. And this is coming from someone who in 4th grade was told by his parents to lie to his teacher about how many hours of TV they watch in a week. "Cut it in half", my mom implored, "I don't think the real number will be believable". So I lied and still beat everyone easily. But there was no saving Behind Bars as it only aired in 5 markets at around 3 am. My parents actually thought about flying to Tulsa, Oklahoma to see the show as that was the easternmost market. So The Lobster Boy episode was to be our Emmy entry and to win an Emmy it needed a title. Other episode titles included things like "My Husband, My Killer", "The Texas Terror” (not to be confused with “The Texas Twister Killer”) and "The Monster and the Rock". So there had to be some punch to it. I looked for my inner NY Post headline and it just came to me. So if you ever come across Behind Bars on YouTube or in some other digital, cloud-like thing that holds all the crap ever filmed and you see this episode, just know that for a week or two I was on a writing high because I surpassed the challenge presented to me, reaching the pinnacle of my art form, and The Grady Bunch was my opus.

[nadinejustlives]

Sondheim in Black

If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, pop by the Galloway Theatre and catch Sondheim in Black, featuring Namisa Mdlalose and Arlin Bantam. I just did Rent with both of them and decided it would be great to catch up and find out more about their next project.



1. Sondheim in Black, that’s a pretty interesting name, what is the meaning behind it and does it hold any personal significance to your life?

Arlin: It holds personal significance because the title comes directly from us being black. The show comes from the idea of what it is like when Black people sing the show tunes and the Sondheim Catalogs. It’s basically us challenging the typical whitewashing which takes place in musical theatre. We as artists have personally experienced the issues that are brought up in this show, so we just want to bring it to the light. 

Namisa: It was basically Arlin’s idea. I thought of doing a musical revue after seeing a revue that a few graduates from UCT did- and it made me think, “here’s something that I can do that is seemingly inexpensive, as well as well as showcasing my work and talent at the same time.” Then Rent happened and I was reunited with Arlin, we knew we’d have a six week break and I said, “hey, let’s do this!” This is also why I chose to study Theatre Making instead of acting at UCT, as a black artist. I Hadn’t seen many pieces of work created by black artists, so I thought, why not create these avenues myself. There is lots of black work out there, but they either go unnoticed or undocumented or it’s a very specific kind of black work - that i can’t always relate to, or write about or say that it’s from my perspective.

2. You are both fairly new to the industry, having graduated from your respective universities, what has the experience been like so far creating your own show and spreading the word about it?

Arlin: The experience has been good. I was surprised at how people were open to doing the show and how we didn’t experience any negative energy while talking about the show. I mean the people we were talking to were white people, they were open to us representing this side of the story. Handling all the admin was a bit tedious, but overall it has been a good experience. Namisa: I think, the best part was the process, which was quick and easy. We just made decisions because we didn’t have much time to put this together. We made the poster and we were just ready to do it. It is informal and it is about our lives and where we are at. We are not trying to be something we are not. There’s no serious pressure from producers to make money, we are just trying to share our work and talent. Spreading the word was quite easy but it’s still a bit scary. It’s like hosting a party and you’re worried that anybody is going to come.

3. What can we expect to see in this revue and which songs do you think the audience will enjoy the most?

Arlin This revue is just a selection of our favourite numbers from Sondheim. I think songs like; “A little Priest” from “Sweeney Todd” and “Ladies who Lunch” from “Company” are gonna be songs that people recognise. And also we have very theatrical numbers, like “Rose’s Turn” from “Gypsy”. There’s a lot to be enjoyed and things that will be recognised and songs that have been undeniable crowd pleasers since they’ve been written. Namisa: You will see Arlin and Namisa on stage. There’s no characters. There’s no dress up. There’s just us being who we are at our core on stage. I think the audience will enjoy or duet, I’m so excited and I know Arlin will be there to support me through it on stage.

4. In your opinion, how did Sondheim revolutionise theatre?

Arlin I think Sondheim revolutionised theatre in quite a significant way as he made theatre more…intellectual. Before Sondheim, everything was very 42nd Street type show tunes and very classical. Sondheim introduced difficult musical concepts and raised the intellectual level of what was happening on stage. He brought the Avant Garde Music feel into the musical theatre scene, he took musical theatre in a new and interesting direction which had never happened before. 5. What is your favourite Sondheim song and musical?

Arlin My favourite musical Hands down is Company. It’s just such a great musical, the subtly of it’s narrative, the perfection of it’s score- it just makes me very very happy. My favourite Sondheim song would have to be “Another Hundred People” from Company. There’s just something about it thats unlike any other show tune I’ve ever heard! It’s such a unique song and thats what makes it completely worth listening to. Namisa: Being Alive from Company. Actually. JUST THE WHOLE OF COMPANY. (Starts Fan Girling about Company) 6. You mentioned in the blurb that Sondheim is usually performed by one particular race, why do you think that is? And in what ways do you think we can diversify Sondheim and the people performing his music?

Arlin: Sondheim traditionally is performed by white people and I think that is because he is an American writer writing in a country that is made up of majority white people. He wrote what he knew and he can’t be faulted for that. The thought behind this show is how we can diversify this in South Africa, how do we in a South African context shy away from that tradition because we have to, because we have a majority black population. How do we localise the text, how do we look at formulating this through this medium instead of imitating a context that doesn’t represent our particular context. 7. If you could say one thing to Sondheim, what would it be?

Arlin: Thank you for saving Musical Theatre and allowing the world to see that Musical theatre could be clever and witty. It could be amazingly stimulating in a real world, literary sense instead of just being jazz hands and tap dancing. 8. Talk to us about how you guys put the show together and how you worked together to create this revue- since you do not have a director as an outside eye?

Arlin It’s been very interesting because we didn’t have a director. We had already had the idea of doing a revue together and Namisa and Jaco completely came in and understood my idea behind it. From day two it became a three party project, we have all been very equal. We didn’t need a director because we knew where we were going with it from day one. The show is different because it’s a free space, casual atmosphere and a low anxiety space. We can be ourselves in the space instead of needing a director to carve out a character for us. It is about the music and our personal politics, As long as we can get up and perform the songs and completely be ourselves then and get our message across, then that’s what needs to be done and I think that’s what we have achieved. 9. Can we expect more Namisa and Arlin collaborations in the future?

Arlin: You can definitely expect more collaborations. We’ve already thought of moving the project onto other composers. Maybe even get a bigger cast where needed. (He lists possible ideas) We are also thinking of touring theatres and taking it to a festival sometime next year to see how it does. 10. What advice do you have for people who are in this industry and want to put on their own shows, but are too afraid? Arlin I think fear should never be at play when you are sure of an idea, because if you know you have an artistic idea which hasn’t been done before and that there is a social stimulus for it, then you just have to do it. The problem isn’t going to go away unless you tackle it. Yeah, don’t let fear get in the way. Be sure that you know where you’re coming from, because then you’ll  know where you’re going to and you’ll never say yes when you mean no.

Catch Sondheim in Black from April 6th -8th at the Galloway Theatre at 7:30PM