#this song has been stuck on loop in my head for like a week straight by now

[ymdslf]

triple dog dare, need i say more

[monnn]

>Winter Petal✧⁠*

Pairing: non-idol!Wonwoo x gn!reader

Genre: angst, angst and more angst, one-sided love, reader is LOVESICK for Wonu!! >o<"

Warnings: it's just gonna hurt a lot and doesn't end happily, so read at your own risk(I'm sorry)

WC: 3.1+

A/N: oof, hello folks. the past few weeks has been such a roller-coaster and I wasn't really feeling better. I'm doing better now and I hope you are too♡ since this was due for quite a while, it's a bit Ionger than expected. this is the last part of the unexpected series and I hope you have enjoyed it so far! I'll shut up now and let you read, so hold on tight and let yourself feel while reading this! a little song recommendation: I Love You So by The Walters on loop! @-@

part-1, part-2 here!

_________________________________________

PRESENT

Wonu was busy adoring Jiyeon, while your eyes were on him, Jiyeon’s voice snapping you out of your trance.

“You’ll be there as early as possible. I better see you at the venue, at least a week before. Please Y/N?”she goes on, from demanding to begging real quick.

“I'll try my best Ji. You know how busy I can get” you say, sipping your hot chai.

They were getting married.

Wonwoo was getting married and it wasn't to you.

The biggest heart break of all times.

The thought of Wonwoo being the first of your friends’ circle to be hitched, is beyond you. Wonu hated commitments, relationships didn't matter.

“I still can't believe you're marrying this annoying ass, Jiyeon. He must've really worked wonders for his previous eight lives” you say, playfully knocking Wonu’s head, signalling him to get off his phone.

“Are you really my best friend?! You're supposed to be happy for me!” he whines. You just laugh at him instead of replying. Honestly, you were happy for him. Though it wasn't something your heart desired for, you were happy to see Wonwoo happy. Even if it means that you won't ever have a chance with him. Maybe you'll eventually forget him, you think. Though that's almost impossible.

Almost.

“But I agree with Jiyeon. You need to be there ASAP, Y/N. You know how much of a wreck I turn into when I'm stressed. And all of us would have more time to spend with each other. I know how stressful all our lives have been and I'm sure we've all missed each other, so please?” he rambles, all in a single breath. As much as whatever Wonu told was true, you don't think you can physically handle it all. It’d be too overwhelming for you, with your emotions splayed out and heart on your sleeve, waiting to be ripped off by none other than the groom. So, you chose the safest option – to arrive on the wedding day.

“I'll try my best Wonu. I can only wonder how stressful it can be for the both of you, but I also know you guys are THE powerful duo who can overcome anything. So, I’ll root for the both of you, hoping everything would turn out well and I'll see you on your big day” you say, wearing a warm smile covering the growing pain in you.

The couple radiate the warmest of energy and nod at whatever you said as it’s nothing but the absolute truth. They've always been this way, unbreakable no matter what. You used to envy that, as your college-self wanted them to low-key breakup. You and Wonwoo were THAT powerful duo before Jiyeon came through, it was only human for you to be jealous of them. Now you just feel tender looking at them, there's no jealousy, which is truly surprising.

◇

Days pass by sooner than you think and you're on your way to the destination. As weird as Wonwoo can get, the wedding’s happening in winter instead of spring or summer like the others do. He was specific about this as he met Jiyeon in winter. Little did anyone know that the both of you met in winter too. Well, it was winter in your lives as you and Wonu were both loners. It’s almost fateful for the both of you to be stuck with each other for so long.

If only this wasn’t platonic, everything would be straight out of a well-written romance fiction. (haha, unlike this one)

Your said date a.k.a Seungcheol, had picked you up from your place early in the morning to drive you. Jeonghan had planned all this, since he can stay without a date as his sister was coming along. Cheol was great company, and he didn’t need to have conversations with you, making the whole scene feel alien. You were truly grateful for that, as you didn’t really have an appetite to digest the things spewed by others at the wedding. The weather was getting a bit warm for winter, making you roll your window down, feeling the sharp yet soothing breeze while you try not to feel like your heart’s about to be grilled because of the emotions you felt. Your thoughts were interrupted by Jeonghan calling Cheol, who’s phone was connected to the speaker. You pick it before he reaches, Cheol sending a small smile to you.

“Hey Cheollie, how far away are you guys?” you hear Hannie, enquiring like the mum he is.

“Hi Han, we’re an hour away. How’s it going over there?” you ask, warmth crawling up your cheeks.

“Hi Y/N!!! I can’t wait to see you,” he pauses, the boys screaming in the background as they hear about you. “These morons won’t let me speak to you, so I'm gonna hang up now and see you both soon!” he says, seemingly pushing Soonie away as he was whining over the speaker to you about not being there sooner.

Laughing, you almost hang up before pausing to ask something.

“Oh, and Han?”

“Yeah, love?”

“How’s he? Is he alright?” you ask, curiously.

Sensing how concerned you were, Han chose to not make it harder.

“He’s alright for now, babe. He’ll be okay. I’d ask about you but it’s way too early and I want you to be wrapped in my arms for at least 20mins before I ask you anything” he says, sighing in relief.

“Hannie, I thought WE were married!” Cheol whines, as you laugh at how he’s sulking over the affection Han has for you. It’s cute, how they’ve been each other's rock for so long and yours too. You’ve genuinely missed your friends so much, your heart aches a little at the instances where you avoided them to protect your peace.

Hannie’s giggles bring you back, as he replies saying that they’re over if Cheol doesn’t get us there ASAP. Now you’re dealing with a sulky Cheol, who’s whining at how Han’s pulling tricks always, though you can’t help but just laugh at your friends’ antics.

Time flies and you’re at the wedding, a whiny Chan and Soon clinging onto you as you walk. They lead you guys to where the others are and upon the sight of you, Han’s running over to you. He jumps on to you as you topple down, Hannie having no intention of letting you go. He asks about Cheol, who insisted that he can drop the bags in your room all by himself. You guys just lay on the grass for a bit and he gets up as the weather’s still a bit cold, to drag you inside the resort. Seeing all your friends made you tear up a bit, which led to all of you shedding a few tears as you guys hug the sadness away. It’s wholesome than sad, because of how much these idiots mean to you and vice versa. The friendships you’ve built with each of them is so darn precious to you and it’s baffling how you were ready to throw this all away, just for that one man. Who was now about to be married. Pushing this aside, you search for two of your other friends who were nowhere to be found. In the garden area of the resort, you find them caressing their own drinks. Mingyu’s got champagne while Jihoon’s in love with his whiskey. They’re still the same old dorks you met; you ponder over while walking towards to them.

“Already?” you say, startling the both of them as they were lost in their own drinking shenanigans.

Mingyu is the first one to get up, lifting you up while he gulfs you into him. He’s so warm and smells like home, you’ve missed this puppy.

“I’m so glad to see you, Y/N. Do you need a drink too?” he asks, ready to order one for you. You shake your head, not wanting to show up drunk at your best friend’s wedding. The minute Mingyu lets you down, you run to hug Jihoon. You feel tears stinging your eyes, heart feeling heavier than ever. Sensing that you need your time with Jihoon, Mingyu walks away telling that he’ll see you around and to contact him if anything. You hug him goodbye before turning back to Jihoon.

Honestly, he’s the best person to let your thoughts be and to just sit with it than avoiding it like a plague. Jihoon glances at you, ordering a glass of gin with ginger ale while you were settling down. Once the drink arrives, he pushes it to your side, signalling you to have it.

“Jihoon....I can’t” you say, hesitantly but low-key really needing some alcohol in your system.

“You’ll need it for later, Y/N. Have it please?” he requests, raising his glass and waiting for you to clink them with. You give up, taking the glass and toasting it with Jihoon’s before having a sip. The way your sip lasted more than it was supposed to, seemed like you were quenching your thirst but with alcohol.

Well, fuck being sober at the love of your life’s wedding, I guess.

You hang with Jihoon for a bit more, before a cute Joshua is waltzing through the room, letting you know that it’s time to get ready for the ceremony. At this, Jihoon just nodded at you and hugged you off, saying that he’ll see you at the hall in a bit. The hug lingered for a while which was broke by Jisoo, coughing to subtly steal you away from everyone.

What was with him?

Well, he had a crush on you. Everyone else knew, except for you. Even Wonwoo knew. Shua wasn’t sure if his adoration has stayed a crush for so long, but he wasn’t ready to give up on you. Though a part of him is sad that you’re not the bride, he’s slightly happier to have a chance to woo you. (PS: everyone knew you were head over heels for Wonu, cheers to being the monarch of simp nation. JK, you were too obvious around him)

Hand wrapped around his arm, Shua leads you to your room, informing that Cheol will be over to pick you up in two hours or so. You slowly get into your dress, adoring how beautiful it looks before the makeup artist’s knocking at your door. You let them in and then sit down to get your makeup done, while you snack on carrots and stay on your phone. In no time, you’re dolled up real nice and right on time, Cheol enters. He smiles at you before engulfing you in a hug, careful not to ruin the art you are.

“You look lovely, Y/N. If I weren’t gay and married to Han, I’d walk down the aisle with you tonight.” he jokes, making you laugh.

“There we go, a smile was all that was missing” he says, taking your hands in his.

“How are you feeling, dove?” he asks, eyes scanning for any discomfort or sadness.

“I’m doing alright, Cheol. Thank you for checking up on me, always” you say, giving his hands a tight little squeeze.

“Glad that Jihoon made me have a good ol’ glass of Bombay Sapphire with ginger ale. I think I can survive the ceremony without breaking down and confessing my love to Wonu, while he’s getting married to Jiyeon” you blurt out, jokingly. There’s a moment of silence as Cheol gawks at what you said before you tell him that it was a joke and how they should get going before it gets late.

Guess you are late, as the person you love would be walking the aisle with his lover, who sadly isn’t you.

Before entering the hall, you go over to see the bride and groom. You head to Jiyeon’s room, heart hurting yet happy for her. Knocking on the door, you open it to see Jiyeon, pacing around the room in her wedding gown. She looks ethereal, and so ready to share her life with your best friend. As soon as she notices you, she runs towards you to hug, and tries to collect her breaths.

“Y/N, I can’t do this. I can’t. Can you marry Wonwoo instead?” she asks, voice laced with panic. It’s pathetic how you actually consider that for a minute. Laughing it off, you pull Jiyeon back, holding her hands in yours, eyes meeting hers while you muster up the courage to say –

“Hey Ji. You’ll be alright, okay? It’s not someone you don’t know, it’s just Wonu. Everything will be alright. Breathe for me, please?"

“Right, you’re right Y/N. It's Wonwoo, why’d I didn’t think of that? Anyways, thank you Y/N. Though you’ve always been his rock, you secretly managed to be mine too” she says, a wide smile plastered on her face.

“So, I'll see you on the aisle, yeah? All the best Ji, you’ve got this” you say, leaving before she replies. Your feelings were up your throat, waiting to be pushed out anytime if you hadn’t left the room. You do the same thing you told Jiyeon – breathe. You take a few deep breaths, fixing yourself as you head towards your best friend.

Best friend.

As you were about to knock, the door opens revealing an equally nervous yet, oh-so beautifully dressed Wonu. He’s pulling you inside, locking the door behind, not giving you time to process. You wait for him to say something, instead he just looks at you like he’s about to cry if you don’t hug him.

So, you do. You embrace him in your arms, for the last time as a bachelor and probably the last time as your love.

After staying in each other’s warmth for a while, he lets go, letting you take a good look at him.

“God damn, Wonu! You look so sharp, didn’t know you could stop being in your nerd element” you joke, winking at him. He laughs, before twirling lazily to give you a 360 of his carefully crafted tux.

“Ready, big guy?” you ask, searching for any hint of resistance in his eyes. He locks eyes with you, nodding slowly. Things have always been like this with him, words didn’t seem like a necessity. You were more than glad to not be talking more than that because honestly, you wouldn't be in one piece.

“Yeah. Yes, I’m ready Y/N. Don’t think I've ever been sure of anything, than this moment right now.” he says, lips curling into a soft smile. That smile of his was reserved, only you had seen it apart from Jiyeon, of course. You reciprocate the same, hugging him for the one last time and leaving the room with the feeling of your heart, suddenly weighing a ton.

As soon as you exit the room, you find Cheol pacing around in the hallway. At the sight of you standing outside Wonwoo’s room, Seungcheol is walking towards you.

“Hey dove, you alright?” he asks, so full of concern. You smile so much as a reply. So much that your cheeks hurt and tears slowly start to well up from within the depths of your fragile heart.

“I'm okay Seungcheol. Let's head to the hall before we're late, yeah?” you slur, trying to shake your tears off. He comprehends how sensitive you are and just nods at you, silently hooking your arm to his while the both of you walk towards to hall.

You realize, the pain you feel, is beyond anything your brain could fathom and mere words can describe how much it hurts.

The hall looks so elegant and everyone there look so beautiful, like dolls in a dollhouse. There are lots of orchids and tulips, as an ornament to the room, making it look so soft yet neat. You move towards your friends, praising how good they look in their tuxedoes and chit-chatting your way through the whole thing, trying your best not to think.

Weirdly, Joshua’s by you the whole time, stuck like gum. Not that you mind it or anything, it's actually really comfortable. Cheol had left your side to sit with Hannie and he had taken over. His subtle touches and the way he looks at you – it helps you feel so grounded and you're more than thankful for that.

Music starts playing, indicating the beginning of the ceremony as you see Wonwoo, gracefully walking down the aisle with a faint blush and a soft smile set on his gorgeous face. Your heart falters at the sight and it refuses to function further when he looks at you, sending you one of his reserved smiles. You reciprocate the same, hands slowly being taken into Jisoo’s. You're amazed at how helpful his touches have been, it's shocking.

Gazing at Wonu, everything fades out for you except for the love you have for him.

And in no time, Jiyeon’s walked in, vowing to love your best friend until the last of her breath and with everything she’s got. You can feel your heart clenching, and Joshua senses the same too, as your clammy hands squeeze his unconsciously.

The thing was, Shua didn't need words from you to understand either. He looks at you, his pretty eyes checking for any discomfort and when you smile back at him, he decides not to bother you further.

There's a sudden cheering of the crowd, making you turn your head towards the couple as you see them kissing.

Vows were said, promises were made and bonds were created.

It was too late for you to do anything. You feel the emotions rushing out of you as you excuse yourself to get away from there.

I need some air you say, to all your worried friends. So busy running away from the love of your life, you don't notice Joshua following you.

As soon as you get out, clutching your chest you slump down onto the sofa at the lobby as tears paint your face. The pain is so much that you find yourself trying hard to breathe while the emotions keep nagging at you and drowning you in the depth of the love you have for Wonwoo.

While trying to calm yourself down, you feel a hand on your shoulder, the radiating warmth grounding you for the Nth time this night. You look up thinking it's Jihoon, but it's not.

Hong Jisoo stands there, tears in his eyes but also looking so fondly at you.

As if you're a porcelain tea cup who’d break if looked at any harder.

You feel pathetic, but Joshua pulls you into a hug, letting you wet his shoulders to your heart’s content. Hearts suddenly seem to weigh a ton, the energy draining all while you try your best to catch the breath you never had in the first place.

He's gone. The love of your life is no longer yours.

Jeon Wonwoo, your best friend but also the person who mattered so much, like how the sun was to the moon.

For the coldness in him, he had found his summer. But left you to be nothing, than a petal of the harsh Winter, waiting to writhe away in utter grief.

_________________________________________

A/N: There's now an epilogue to this series, you can find it here!

[pjunicornart]

Symptoms of Me (vent post... kinda)

So, my mental health has been kicking my ass as of late. I haven't been feeling the best, and lately I've been beat to shit by my autistic symptoms.

So how did I vent? With Meet the Robinsons, of course. Because I feel so connected to Lewis/Cornelius, I headcanon that he experiences my symptoms as well.

I drew Neil displaying how my symptoms/trauma manifests. They're all just little doodles. I think it's important for people to see from multiple perspectives when it comes to mental health (especially neurodivergency) because everyone's symptoms manifest differently. I've wanted to make a post like this for a while, so... here you go.

This is me. (cw: brief mentions of trauma/abusive relationships)

I space out a lot. Often times I'll get lost in my daydreams, so much so that hours could pass by and I wouldn't have a clue. This happens a lot, actually. It's the reason why I'm only able to get one artwork done a day, because I constantly space out. Another little symptom displayed here is my fidgeting. As I write this post I am bouncing my leg.

Wanna know a physical sign of autism? Toe walking! I do this a lot. I do it because carpets and hardwood floors feel weird to walk on. If I don't have my house shoes or socks on, I'll toe walk everywhere.

Music is how I connect with the world. That's why I get inspired by music so often. Since I can't formulate my words on the topic of my feelings, music is how I do that. Music helps me understand myself by putting complex things I don't understand into simple to sing along to verses.

On the topic of music, it gets stuck in my head. Easily. I can put a song on loop for five hours straight and I would never get bored of it. When I go to bed, the song will play in my head, and I'll get excited because I can listen to it again in the morning. Because songs get stuck in my head so often, I would mumble under my breath the lyrics as a tick. The same could be said for my ticks in general. Small phrases or words will repeat in my head over and over again, and I'll say them aloud. Recently, "he's tired" has been on repeat for me. I don't know why.

Wanna know ANOTHER physical sign of autism? Frequent constipation/irregular and incomplete bowel movements. I am definitely guilty of this. I've been taking fiber gummies, but it's only helped a little bit. I still go over a week without going number two. This might be a bit TMI, but this is one reason why it was super difficult for my parents to potty train me. It would hurt to go, and therefore I wouldn't wanna do it. My parents weren't particularly... nice, about potty training me. I have trauma from it. Speaking of...

Because of trauma, I HATE using toilets. This kind of ties into my age regression as a coping mechanism a bit. For multiple reasons, I wish I had a better childhood. So, I regress to a mental space where I'm a happy kid. If I'm being honest? There are some days where I wish I could just go in a plastic potty and not use the toilet. Because of the trauma from potty training, yes, but also because they're loud. Loud noises suck.

Emotions? I don't understand them. To me, it's just noise. I see no reason for them, and I hate them. But it's only because I don't understand them, and this includes my own emotions. There are times where I'm crying, and I have no idea why I'm crying. I'll tell myself there's no need for me to cry here, and I'd curse myself for being "weak", when I'm just being human. I'd judge others for getting angry, because to me, it's so easy to just suppress everything and look at things logically. I had to teach myself empathy recently, because I didn't get it when I was younger.

I freeze when I'm in conflict. I remember everytime I'd get in trouble with my dad (he was emotionally abusive), I'd just sit there and cry, with the words stuck in my throat. I couldn't get them out, no matter how hard I tried. He'd yell at me and tell me to talk, and it would frustrate him when I wouldn't listen to him, and he'd just tell me off more. He didn't realize I was shutting down due to my autism (which was undiagnosed at the time - and still is because the American healthcare system sucks). It was hell. To this day, if I'm ever in a conflict, the words get stuck in my throat.

In general, my relationship with food is negative. I avoid certain foods like the plague because they trigger my very sensitive gag reflex. Most of the time it's a texture issue. That's why I have my comfort foods. They textures and tastes are perfect! You'll notice that they're mostly warm foods. These foods warm me up in a way I really like; It's a pleasant feeling. Box mac n' cheese is my all time favorite comfort food, too. I like it a specific way: It has to be the Kraft brand with the spiral pasta, and I like it with a little bit of extra milk. It makes it creamier. By the way, I don't know why I drew that burger with cheese, because I actually like my burgers plain. Just burger and bun (same with hot dogs).

I'll be okay. Just going through a rough patch right now. I have a new AU idea for MtR that I'll explain. Eventually.

[insomniactalks]

I’m finally on my summer break (at least till the end of August, when I’ll start classes again) so I’ve got plenty of free time to express my thoughts on the show, starting with this post! The thing I wanna talk specifically about is the very end of the episode (3.01). 

I will not deny that this scene deff looks like foreshadowing for the rest of Portwell’s journey in S3:

First things first, how cute was Ricky in this scene? He rushes to camp to spend the rest of his summer with his friends after his breakup with Lily. And the way he says these two lines? So adorable! 

Given the framing here, and the fact EJ talks about how “nothing is gonna ruin our perfect summer t/g” then shortly after, Ricky enters the scene and stands in the middle of the shot deff makes it seem like Portwell’s perfect summer just might be ruined. I know how it looks. But I just don’t think that’s gonna be Ricky’s intention, nor do I think he’ll completely ruin EJ and Gina’s summer (tho he may temporarily.) I wanna point s/t out before talking more about this moment. We have to keep in mind the scene that immediately precedes the scene above:  

EJ was just handed a shit ton of responsibility for the rest of his summer by Dewey. He’s been promising his girlfriend and the rest of the Wildcats the best/greatest summer ever b/c that was always his intention and he really meant it. EJ had no plans to be the director for a high-stakes musical and take on the role of someone who was doing it for 40 plus yrs. He just wanted to spend a fun-filled summer making memories with his friends and girlfriend, before life threw him for a loop. It’s implied in 3.01 that EJ convinced the Wildcats to go to Camp Shallow Lake by making them promises on what to expect (which he fully meant at the time until the moment above happens). EJ even tries to reason with Dewey on why he shouldn’t direct the musical (I mean, look at the poor boy’s face!) He desperately wants to get outta this situation he’s found himself in to no avail. Dewey’ gotta pin this responsibility on someone, and EJ just happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Not only is EJ a counselor-in-training, which comes with its own set of responsibilities, he now has to shoulder the task of directing Frozen the musical and prove s/t to himself, Dewey, Corbin, his father (Cash), the rest of the campers, and even Disney Plus. All he wanted to do was make this the best summer ever, and now he has to juggle a lot of tasks all at once. This show probably has to be perfect or the best so that EJ can prove to everyone he could do it. That he’s not a failure at this. There may not be time for mistakes or slacking off, which brings me to my next point.

I know the first gif looks like the start of the EJ/Gina/Ricky love triangle for the season, but you have to keep in mind what leads Ricky to camp in the first place. He just broke up with Lily, the person he chose to spend his summer with instead of his friends b/c he thought that would make him “feel free.” Obviously Ricky realizes the error in his ways and rushes off to Camp Shallow Lake to be with the Wildcats. He sings this in “Finally Free” (which is such a good song btw. Been stuck in my head the whole week!):

Ricky really wants a fresh start so that he can feel free, finally. And he states the way for this to happen is to “break away” from the “broken hearts.” Last summer, he broke up with Nini b/c of the relationship drama b/t his parents. Then, he admits to talking to some girls over that time, even if he was talking about Nini to them (1.01 I think?). Nini makes her boundaries clear in 1.04 (I believe), then Ricky has an interest in Gina (1.05-1.07). By the end of S1, he and Nini are back t/g, until they break up in 2.08, and a few weeks later, maybe over a month or so, he calls up Lily by the end of S2. He goes into the summer with a new girlfriend, who ends up betraying him. For 2 seasons straight, Ricky’s dealt with a ton of relationship drama in regards to his own romantic relationships and his parents’ deteriorating one. For the rest of his summer, Ricky wants desperately to “break away from the broken hearts” cuz he’s done with all that drama in his life. He wants to finally feel free and more like himself (outside of his romantic relationships). Which is why his two lines at the end of 3.01 are so telling (and just overall adorable!): he’s seeking comfort in his friends, even if he’s in an unfamiliar environment. Ricky is fresh off a break up with Lily and he decides to drive to camp. Unlike in S1, when Ricky auditions in the first place for Nini, to prove to her he’s not over their relationship, Ricky drives to camp for himself, not for anyone else. It’d be one thing if he showed up to camp for Gina, which would heavily imply the love triangle aspect, but that’s not his intention. He rushes into the scene and says, “Do you have room for one more?” pauses then “Group hug?” Both statements imply the 3 of them having to work t/g as a team this season more than ever. The boy wants to get away from all the girl/relationship drama in his life. It just doesn’t make sense for Ricky to be a part of someone else’s relationship drama now. I’m not saying he won’t play a part in the bumpy road ahead of EJ and Gina this season, I just think it’ll be completely unintentional and accidental. Why escape his own relationship drama this summer to now join in on someone else’s? I don’t think Ricky wants any part in that (he just wants to spend time with his friends, it seems.) He rushes into camp, stumbles across the first 2 ppl he sees, which happen to be fellow Wildcats, and poses 2 adorable questions to them: “Do you have room for one more?” and “Group hug? cuz he’s just happy to see them and be there with the rest of his friends. That just might be his best shot at feeling free, which is what Ricky is after. I love that he poses these questions to both EJ and Gina, cuz he’s happy (and slightly nervous) to see the both of them. He had been spending most of his time with Lily, so seeing some familiar faces was probably comforting for him.    

Breakin' away from the broken hearts

No more mistakes, no more empty starts

I'm finally, finally free, finally, finally 

Last point, I think EJ’s issue with Ricky this season may have more to do with Ricky’s reliability as a performer, not so much Ricky and Gina’s friendship. I’m not saying Gicky spending time t/g won’t play a part, I just think EJ being the director for this musical that has a lot riding on it may fear Ricky won’t be up to the task as a lead. EJ was present for both of Ricky’s auditions in S1 and S2, so he knows that process doesn’t always go well for him. Ricky showed improvement when he finished the whole musical in S2, but EJ and the rest of the Wildcats had to help him along. With Val casting the show, maybe EJ feels a little uneasy with not only Gina and Ricky playing romantic leads, but also with Ricky as the lead in a musical EJ has to direct. The show has to go on without a hitch, and if Ricky doesn’t take it as seriously as the rest of the cast, EJ may take issue with that. Ricky wants a summer of fun which might just clash with EJ’s need to make the musical perfect. If Ricky goofs off too much, or doesn’t take rehearsals seriously/ try hard enough, EJ might feel frustrated with that, with him. That’s where EJ 1.0 might make an appearance, until EJ is reminded of what’s really important (literally like Mitchie and Troy in Camp Rock 2 and HSM2). Remember how their friends reminded them of what’s really important about their summers? Even tho Mitchie and Troy (and EJ!) lost their way for a minute there? Yeah, I see the vision... Totally fine if you disagree with my take on where the season is headed. These are just my thoughts given each of their character arcs and the storytelling aspects of the show.

[checkers-dance]

im back here again, hello.... I WANTED TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS ON OVERDRIVE W U BUT I NEED TO LISTEN TO IT MORE. i will just say i liked it and habit was the best song, i will Elaborate later jsjdbdbfbf

I just came to tell u something funny. i showed overdrive to noxia and she said "i dont mean this in a bad way but if changkyun wasnt in a band he would be a soundcloud rapper."

This ask has been here for weeks and I did listen to the album before this but I kept looping it while doing other stuff and so the songs just ran straight over my head. Anyway as expected I rlly enjoyed habit, it had this lowkey sadboy vibe and the jazzy instrumental was rlly fitting. I think this might be my fave song on the album. I can imagine having this stuck inside my head in endless loops. Actually speaking of jazzy I also liked not sorry, altho for some reason the chorus doesn't hit too strongly for me. Another expected outcome is overdrive - it DID grow on me. It's not a fave but it's nice to listen to and it has some parts of the instrumental that just loop in ur head. A bit of an unexpected outcome is blame, which I liked more in the album preview somehow, altho I don't dislike the full song. Also I like dumb more than I thought I would, minus the chorus, which is so sad bc most of the song is just repeating the chorus 😭. I particularly liked the beginning part of the instrumental. More starting w "open the door I know u just wanna take me on the floor" was such a changkyun move. More felt a little short but that worked in its favor I think, I enjoyed it

Also I can kind of see what noxia is talking abt w the soundcloud rapper vibe 😭😭

[pandolfo-malatesta]

Notes for “Rhythm of My Heart”

First things first: I have never been to a ceilidh, so as usual I looked a bunch of stuff up and then took artistic liberties.  My exhaustive search of Scottish ceilidh bands for hire revealed that many bands these days offer a ceilidh + disco package, where the first portion of the party is the traditional band and dancing, and the second part is the pop music.  This is a little along those lines.

Runes!  Props to NOVA Online for picking these extremely Merida-appropriate colors for their runic name transliteration results.  Below is how they say “Merida” would be spelled.

More important is the following, an actual real-life runic inscription (known as Bryggen B017) found in Bergen, Norway, and dating to the latter half of the 13th century.

That transliterates to “ost min kis [or kyss] mik,” which means “My love, kiss me.”  Some sources.

Slàinte mhòr = Literally “Great health,” a toast in Scottish Gaelic

I didn’t want to name all of the dances that people share, but they are: Merida and Fergus: Riverside Jig (I don’t have ones for Merida and Stoick or Merida and Gobber, whoops) Merida and Jamie: The Dashing White Sergeant—chosen because it seems like it has a great capacity for carnage Hiccup and Elinor: St. Bernard’s Waltz—as Elinor says, it’s less aggro than many others

snakebite and black = half lager, half (hard) cider, and a bit of blackcurrant cordial

Attentive readers may have discerned that I have a bit of a soft spot for Young MacGuffin.  The version of him that lives in my head is a good boy who deserves to be able to rebuild a crofter’s cottage as a little treat.  A croft is a farm; many of them seem to have been as remote as I’ve described.

(I also have a bit of a soft spot for Young Macintosh, precisely because he is kind of an asshole.)

Up Helly Aa is a real thing in the Shetland Islands and they sure do dress as Vikings and burn down a replica longship.

picture source

“Flower of Scotland” is the unofficial national anthem.

“Loch Lomond” is a folk song.  However, the version here is by rock band Runrig; apparently it’s popular at Scottish weddings. 

Merida’s translation is straight from here.

I give you the gift of having Ho, ho mo leannan Ho mo leannan bhoidheach stuck in a loop in your head forever. 

Let me tell you that I love you, and I think about you all the time is from “Caledonia,” written by Dougie McLean.

And finally, our title track. 

But LJ, “Rhythm of My Heart” was originally written for and recorded by a Dutch artist, and Rod Stewart’s version wasn't released until 1991. Rod Stewart isn’t even Scottish!  How appropriate is this for a ceilidh, and how likely do you think it is that that song would be known enough for people to be singing along? A. It wasn’t until last week, when I was scouring YouTube for covers, that I even began to suspect that Sir Roderick’s version was not the original. B. Though Rod Stewart was born in London his father was from Edinburgh.  In late 2022 he received an Outstanding Achievement in Music Award at the Scottish Music Awards; in an interview he said that “there’s a huge part of me that loves Scotland.  It’s undeniable.  I love this place,” and at the ceremony itself he said “I’ve received many awards before, but none from the land of my beloved father, so this is very special to me.  I’d love to think that despite my English accent that I’m one of yous.” C. In 2014, when Glasgow hosted the Commonwealth Games, a version of the song was performed for the Opening Ceremony and was listed as an “unofficial anthem” of the games, proving that it is known in this century.  I firmly believe Merida would have heard it then.

But if Oh, I’ve got lightning in my veins alone didn’t convince you, nothing I can say will.

[themayforce]

Pretty in Pink - Part 2

Link to part 1

Summary: After the events down on the planet, you're not sure how to talk to Rex about it. But luckily, Fives and Echo are here to help.

Description: Things get steamy again in this one. Afab!Reader (no gendered language), foursome, double (or i guess triple) penetration (in both holes), unprotected sex (wrap it up fellas), some degradation, and a little bit of spanking

Rating: 18+ explicit

Pairings: Rex+Fives+Echo/Reader

Words: 7481 (literally i only just found out about this word count and uhhhh i don't know how this happened)

There aren’t enough hours in a day for all the work you have to get done. Since getting back to Coruscant, it's like you've been stuck in an endless meeting with every possible senator, advisor, administrator, or whatever title these politicians had chosen to use. The first few meetings had been important, but soon you had no real part in the discussions anymore and you just watched from the back of the room, exhausted.

It doesn't help that events from a certain planet keep replaying in your mind like a holovid stuck on a loop, glitching and catching on moments and phrases you should not be thinking about in the middle of a meeting room. The heat in your face and your anxiety about it make you even more tired, and after a week of these negotiations you're very glad when you can finally get home before dark for once.

The lights in your apartment automatically switch on when you open the door. The soft pink and orange hues from the sunset outside drape over your living room like a blanket and you spend a few minutes just looking out the window, admiring the view over the city, something you didn’t take as much time for as you should.

No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to empty your mind these days. Your little … adventure with your three clone friends left its marks on you, both emotionally and physically. They’re fading now, but every time you see yourself in the mirror before showering they jump out at you: two rows of bruises on either side of your hips, unmistakably finger shaped. Rex’s handiwork. And the worst part is that it turns you on more than you’d ever care to admit.

You haven’t spoken to Rex at all since flying back on the shuttle. He had been in two of the same meetings as you, sure, but only awkward glances were exchanged, no words. It bothers you, having these feelings fester inside you, but you have no idea how to approach the subject. If you send him a comlink message, what are you even supposed to say? ‘Hey Captain, I think we should discuss how you fucked my kriffing brains out and then pretended it never happened?’

The day after you got back, Fives and Echo had been waiting for you after your checkup in the medbay, bless their hearts. You had all agreed to leave out the specifics of what had happened in your official reports, but a warning had been attached to that planet’s datalog. Avoid the pink flowers: toxic to most humanoids. With those two guys, you can laugh about it now, and you’re grateful for it. Fives seems more relaxed around you, more open. You haven’t forgotten that he called you beautiful, that he held your hand and brushed the hair out of your face. You see the way he looks at you, and it melts you, the way a hot cup of caf on a cold day does. But you just can’t seem to examine your feelings about Fives, not while Rex’s fire burns inside you so vigorously.

If you don’t talk to him soon, you probably never will, and you’re not sure you can take that. You get a glass of water from the kitchen and down it in one go before laying down on your couch, comlink in hand.

Should you call him? Leave him a holo message? Or just a text message? He’s probably very busy, probably doesn’t even have time to meet with you, but there’s no way you can talk it out over the com. The little device feels heavy in your hand as you type out the message ‘Can we talk?’, and your thumb hovers over the send button. What if he says no? Or just doesn’t reply? What if he’s trying to forget what happened, and bringing it up will just anger him? But he’d called you perfect, had fucked you like a man possessed. You look like such a good little whore. Those words won’t stop echoing in your mind.

You press your face into a throw pillow and groan. “Stupid clones,” you mutter to yourself. “Stupid, sexy clones.”

It’s only when the buzzer to your front door wakes you up that you notice you had dozed off in the first place. Quickly, you smooth out your clothes and flip the throw pillow over with the drool-stained side down. You're not expecting any guests -- you were too tired to make plans this week -- so you're frowning when you open the door.

Your frown turns into a surprised smile when you see Fives and Echo standing in front of you. Their helmets are tucked under their arm, and Fives is holding a bottle of something that looks like alcohol, while Echo has a plain white box in his hands.

"Hey there, sunshine," Fives says with a sheepish grin that nestles itself in your heart.

"Guys! What's all this?"

“Hope this isn’t a bad time,” Fives starts, but Echo interrupts him.

“Fives wanted to-” A sharp look from his friend makes him rephrase his sentence. “Fives and I wanted to check up on you.”

“We saw you in one of the meeting rooms today, and you looked tired, so- oh, not that you look bad, you still look great, just-” You laugh, and that puts Fives at ease. He smiles back at you.

“You’re really too sweet. Please, come in.”

You step aside to let your friends into your home, both of them still wearing their armor. They must have come here right after their shift, and it warms your heart that they chose to see you instead of getting their well-earned rest.

“Brought you something,” Fives says, handing you the bottle he’s holding. “Thought you might like a drink.” It‘s a familiar bottle to you, the most common type of Corellian Red on the market, and one of your favorites, which Fives remembered.

“Aw, you shouldn’t have. But you’re absolutely right. I could really use a drink.”

Echo’s white box happens to be the best kind of box: a cake box, and time flies by while the three of you eat cake and empty the wine bottle. It’s nice, really nice, to just hang out like this. Despite the unspoken truth between you and Fives, it doesn’t feel awkward -- instead it draws something giddy and flirtatious out of you, though that may be in part due to the wine. One third of a bottle isn’t enough to get you drunk, but it’s definitely enough to get you tipsy, and soon enough you have your legs in Fives’ lap on the couch. He rubs circles on your calves with his thumb. He blushes. Echo laughs. The whole thing is adorable.

For the second time tonight, the buzzer of the front door interrupts you. This time, aided by the buzz of alcohol, you’re a lot more relaxed as you make your way across the room, glass in hand. There’s music playing from a concert on your holoscreen -- you don’t know the song or the singer, but the rhythm puts a spring in your step and there’s a smile on your face when you open the door.

Your expression shifts to one of open-mouthed confusion when you are met with another set of blue and white plastoid armor, worn by the man you so desperately wanted to talk to earlier today. And that's not all -- clutched in Rex's hands is a beautiful bouquet of yellow and white flowers, perfectly arranged like it's come straight out of a holo-ad for one of those high-end florists from Naboo.

You're speechless. Absolutely floored. Not just by the fact that Captain Rex brought you flowers, but that he decided to do this now, tonight, after ignoring you for over a week and- oh no. Did you accidentally send that comlink message? Is that why he's here? You would never even have considered sending it if you knew you'd have company tonight, but Rex doesn't know that and now he's here and so are Fives and Echo and every possible explanation you can give will bring trouble.

Blood rushes to your head as you try to think of something to say, but Fives and Echo beat you to it.

"Captain!" they exclaim in almost perfect unison while they jump up from their seats.

"Captain…" you repeat, at a loss for any other words. "I- I wasn't expecting-" You can't finish your sentence. Rex looks like he's going through all stages of grief simultaneously -- jaw tightening, brows furrowing, while his gaze darts between you and the clones behind you.

"I'll come back another time."

“No!” you say before you can stop yourself, “I mean, you’re welcome to come have a drink?” It’s embarrassing, the sheepish way you’re smiling at him, but he did just bring you flowers.

“Are those for me?” you ask, gesturing at the bouquet. Rex looks at the flowers like he had temporarily forgotten he was holding them, then hands them over to you.

“Yes. I hope you uh,” he hesitates, “are feeling better.”

“I am, thank you.”

This is unbearable. You want to scream, to either pull him inside or slam the door in his face, anything to make this painful situation end. You can feel Fives’ eyes burn into you from behind you, knowing that you have to explain why his kriffing Captain is bringing you flowers, when you can’t even explain it to yourself.

“So do you w-” you begin to invite Rex inside, pointing your thumb towards the living room, but he starts speaking at the same time.

“I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight. Troopers.”

With a curt nod and a sharp turn, he marches down the walkway, away from you.

You rush over to the low table next to your couch where you left your comlink and after you lay the bouquet down you check your message history. The words ‘Can we talk’ are still blinking up at you from the bottom of the display, unsent. The whole thing was a kriffing coincidence.

“So,” Echo says, pressing a button on the holoscreen to mute it, “what just happened?”

You groan as you let yourself drop down on the couch. Fives sits back down next to you, but his posture isn’t as relaxed as it was a few minutes ago.

“I don’t know if I should talk about it,” you say softly, burying your face in your hands.

"He …" Fives sighs deeply and turns his body towards you. "He also got involved back on that planet, didn't he?"

You nod without looking up. No point in lying about it now, and besides, it was Rex who decided to be weird about the whole thing.

"Said so, didn't I?" Echo says.

"Kriff, yeah, you were right. I really must've slept through it."

Now you sit up, bouncing your gaze between the two of them. “You knew?” you ask, confused.

“Not for sure,” Echo replies, “I stepped away for half an hour or so to fix the transmitter. But something was different about the Captain when I got back.”

Yeah, you could say that. It would’ve been a lot easier if he hadn’t been so secretive about the whole thing.

"I wanted to talk to him about it, but I thought he was avoiding me… Well, until-"

"Until he showed up unannounced at your apartment with flowers," Fives interrupts. There’s a small grin on his face as he shakes his head. "Stars, he's hopeless. We should give him some pointers."

Pointers? He wants Rex to be, what? Better at courting you?

“Wait… I thought-”

“I’d be jealous? Eh, a little, I can’t deny that. But one thing you need to know about clones,” Fives says with a knowing look to Echo, “is that we’re very good at sharing.”

His words make your face burn, your cheeks feel like the twin suns of Tatooine with how hot they are, and your breath hitches in your throat.

Echo chuckles at your reaction and moves to sit down on the couch as well. Stars, why was it making you so flustered to be sandwiched between the two of them?

“Fives was right. You really are cute when you get nervous.”

“I’m always right,” Fives jokes in return, “but more importantly…” He leans over and gently presses his thumb and index finger against your chin, turning your head to look at him. “Would you like that, sunshine? The three of us sharing you?” His thumb now grazes over your bottom lip. If he keeps this up, you might forget how to speak. Or forget your own kriffing name.

“Y-yes,” you whisper.

“Good.” He holds your gaze lovingly, his eyes darting down to your bottom lip. You’re hoping he might kiss you, but then he takes his hand away and smiles slightly.

“Better ask the Captain to come back, then.”

You fumble with your comlink and almost drop it while you type your new message to Rex. ‘Please come back. We want to talk to you.’ That’s the line you all agreed upon.

“While we wait…” Echo leans closer to you and lowers his voice. “Fives here never shuts up about wanting to kiss you.”

“Echo!” Fives hisses, embarrassed.

“Sooo,” you say, turning to him with a bashful grin, “what are you waiting for, then?”

Fives blinks a few times, and then with one swooping motion he pulls you into his lap, and puts his mouth to yours. His lips are sweet from the cake and the wine, his hands warm as he holds onto your waist. He’s firm and soft at the same time and it’s perfect -- until you move slightly and part of his armor pinches your skin, making you wince.

“Okay, you better take this off now,” you say, tapping one of his thigh plates with your fingernail, “or someone’s gonna get hurt.”

“That a promise?” Fives mutters against your cheek, making you giggle.

It’s touching how much care they put in taking off their armor. Just by watching them undress you can tell how important it is to them, almost sacred. They put every piece neatly on top of the other in the same way, like they were taught precisely how. Soon they stand before you in their tight black underclothes, still completely covered, but softer to the touch. The stretchy fabric doesn’t hide much. In fact, it accentuates the shape of their muscles and, well, other parts. You chew on your lip while you watch them move closer to you.

“Your turn, sunshine,” Fives states. “Let’s give the Captain a little surprise when we open the door for him.”

A small whine escapes your lips when you process his words, but you gladly oblige. As soon as you stand up from the couch, they’re on either side of you, so close it’s almost dizzying. They help you undo the clasps on your outfit and soon enough, you’re left only in your underclothes. Nothing fancy -- it was supposed to just be a regular work day when you got dressed this morning -- but at least it was a matching pair. Fives can’t seem to help himself and nuzzles his face into your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses that send shivers down your spine and he makes his way back up past your jaw, until he captures your mouth again. His second kiss is more intense, deeper, hotter, and as his tongue moves against yours, you feel the wetness between your thighs increasing. While Fives kisses you, Echo runs his fingers down your breastbone softly, before brushing them over your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. He’s gentle, like he doesn’t want to distract you from Fives’ kiss, but it still makes you shiver, the hairs on your arms standing up with the thrill of it.

And then, the buzzer again. When Echo goes to open the door, you instinctively want to turn around, too shy to face Rex in your state of undress, but Fives holds you with your back to his chest and his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them softly. He presses a kiss to your temple.

When the door swings open, your eyes meet Rex’s almost instantly.

"What's going on?" Rex asks, but his voice isn't demanding. Quite the opposite, there's almost a quiver in it as his gaze moves over your body, then quickly away again.

Echo leads him into the room by the back of his arm and smirks.

"Well, Captain, Fives and I have a little … gift for you, if you want to join us."

"We know you got involved, sir. With the toxin situation. No need to be ashamed. In fact, I think we can all benefit from this situation." Fives’ mouth comes up right next to your ear and you can feel the tickle of his goatee. "Why don't you tell him what you told us?" Fives whispers to you. Kriff, he wants you to proposition Rex? Out loud?

"I-I… well…" Alright, breathe, you can do this. You know what you want.

"I want… I want all three of you."

Rex’s eyes seem to darken, his posture heavy when he walks over to you. Fives lets go of you now, taking a step back to give the two of you more space.

"Stars," Rex breathes, "y-you're sure?"

"I'm sure." To help ease his doubts, you trace a path up his armor with your hands, resting your arms around his neck, and kiss him. He seems frozen for a second against your lips, but then he returns your kiss eagerly, warm hands grazing over your hips. When he touches you, his breath hitches, remembering you are near-naked in front of him. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours.

“I felt- I thought I had taken advantage of you. You were so vulnerable, and I was- I couldn’t control myself, I was too rough-”

"Look," you say softly, turning around to show him the remnants of your bruises.

"Is that- did I do that? Kriff, I didn't intend to-"

You interrupt him. "You can do it again, if you want. Keep doing it, so they never fade.”

Rex swallows, but before he can reply you come up with a new idea.

"I want to thank the three of you for saving my life," you say, and you can't help the shy smile that graces your face as you unclasp your bra, shaking it off and revealing your breasts. You take Fives and Rex by the hand and look Echo in the eye sweetly as you lead the three of them to your bedroom.

"There's no need-" Fives interrupts, but you shush him with a finger to his lips.

"I'm going to thank you," you say more firmly this time. You press a quick kiss to his lips before sinking to your knees before him, your eyes lining up with the visible hard-on under his clothes. Your fingers find the waistband of his black compression pants and his briefs below them.

"Oh, stars, sunshine-" His words catch in his throat when you peel the fabric down, revealing his bare cock to you, exactly the way you remembered it. Fuck, you'd fantasized about this late at night, pushing your own fingers into your mouth, imagining how much their cocks might fill you. You can't help but lick your lips before gently wrapping your hand around the base, drawing soft curses from Fives' lips. Your tongue finds the head of his cock, giving it a few kitten licks before letting your lips wrap around it. You hum contentedly as you let him enter further into your mouth, gently licking and sucking and reeling with pride whenever you draw a noise out of him. When you take him in as far as you can go without gagging, you feel his hand coming to rest on top of your head and you let him guide your pace.

"Fuck, your mouth feels amazing, sweetheart. You- you wanna show the other guys what you can do too?"

You whine when he takes his cock out of your mouth, but then you realize he meant show them right now, at the same time, because both Rex and Echo have taken their compression pants off (and Rex his armor, too) and you're greeted by two more of their cocks, hard and leaking and so close to your face.

"My lucky day," you joke, but your heart is beating fast with the knowledge you haven't exactly done this before. You just hope you can give all of them the attention they deserve.

Rex stands closest to you, and his cock twitches as you reach to hold it. His hips jerk forward when you press your tongue flat against the underside, tracing a vein that runs all the way along it. Just like Fives, he reaches for your head -- when you take one of his balls into your mouth and suckle on it softly, his fingers tighten their grip into your hair, his breath hitching with every stroke of your hand along his cock. After you give the other ball some attention, you move back to his cock, bobbing your head along it gently until he suddenly thrusts forward, hitting the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Kriff, sorry-"

But you persevere, spurred on to try and take him even deeper even with tears forming in your eyes. The sounds of you struggling to take him down your throat are joined with the sounds of Fives and Echo stroking their own cocks lazily on either side of you. It's lewd, but deliciously so, and your cunt throbs knowing that it's the sight of you that's turning them on.

You swallow around Rex's cock and he curses again, pulling himself out of your mouth.

"I won't l-last long if you keep that up, beautiful," he says, wiping some saliva mixed with precum away from your chin. Your stomach flutters at the pet name, a silly youngling feeling that feels unfitting to the current situation, but you find yourself wanting to hear it again and again.

Instead you turn again to take care of Echo, who seems to be enjoying himself -- his hand is wrapped tightly around the base of his cock and he smiles down at you.

"Your turn, mister," you tease, and a small chuckle escapes his throat.

"Stars, baby, you’re so cute."

Smiling, you lick up the sizable drop of precum that has formed at the head of his cock, drawing small circles around the opening with your tongue. Then much like before, you try to fit as much of him inside you as possible until you gag again -- the unpleasant feeling is somehow unbearably arousing to you, just knowing that his cock is so big, knowing your throat and jaw will hurt after, it sends lightning straight down between your legs.

"Look at me, baby," Echo coos fondly, "that's right, you like my cock, don't you, pretty eyes?"

You nod weakly, turning your attention back to the rhythm you had found while hollowing out your cheeks, when he pulls out of your mouth.

"Gotta keep it fair," he says with a grin while you feel a pair of hands turning you around again.

You service the three of them like this for a while, switching between their cocks while using your hands on the others. You must be an obscene sight, lips swollen and plump, saliva dribbling down your chin, and with every passing minute you're grinding your hips more and more, rubbing your legs together to find pleasure.

"Getting needy, aren't you, sunshine?" Fives teases, his voice raspy as you stroke his cock which is now slippery and shiny with precum and your spit. You hum around Rex, who has gotten to the point where he's thrusting shallowly into your mouth. Your gag reflex seems to have been conquered for the time being. They do say practise makes perfect.

It's Rex who comes first with a groan, his cum filling your throat while he holds your head in place, your nose grazing the hairs around the base of his cock.

"Fuck," Fives says, his hand finding the back of your head, "open your mouth, sweetheart, that's it." You swallow as much of Rex's cum as you can in one go, then open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out. Rex lines himself up with your tongue, pumping his own cock in quick hard motions. He cums with a low, rumbling sigh and his release ends up mostly on your tongue, with some of it on your nose and cheek. Before you realize it, you hear Echo curse beside you and he also finishes, his cum landing on your face and chest, like a marking you're all too happy to wear.

The three of them seem pretty out of breath, and Rex sits down on your bed with a sigh. "Stars," he breathes, pulling the high collar of his shirt away from his neck to let in some cool air. "That was some kind of thank you."

It makes you giggle. He seems more at ease now, having been convinced by the benefits of this arrangement.

Seeing the three of them panting and sweating in your bedroom sends another molten shot of arousal straight to your cunt and you realize your underwear must be soaked by now.

Fives must have realized you were rubbing your legs together, a teasing edge appearing in his voice. "I think you enjoyed that just as much as we did, didn't you? Did that get you wet?"

"Mhm," you admit coyly, "very."

"I think we should do something about that."

With a yelp from you, Fives pulls you up off the floor with ease and you crash into his chest with his nose pressed into your hair.

"Why don't you lie down and let us take care of you?"

Your face turns hot and your cunt throbs with anticipation at his words. But there's one thing that needs to happen first. All of them are still a lot more dressed than you are.

"Shirts off first, all of you," you say with a grin, which they all return.

"Yes, general," Echo jokes, peeling his sweat-soaked undershirt over his head. Now all of them are naked before you, and you can see the differences in their bodies. Echo, despite being the lithest of the three, has the most defined musculature. Fives is slightly broader in the shoulders but narrower at the hips, and seemed to have a little bit of an edge in the body hair department. Rex is the broadest overall, and also the most scarred, with gashes and blaster burns all over his chest, arms, and back. All three of them are beautiful, perfect, and somehow in your bed.

You get comfortable on the mattress, back propped up against a pillow. Surprisingly, it's Rex who finds his way over to you first, the mattress dipping under his knees. He puts his hands (big, warm, calloused) on your knees and spreads your legs so he can get between them.

"B-been wanting to taste you for so long," he says, his voice a dark rumble that strikes you in your core.

"You better take what you want then, Captain." You're not sure where the daring edge in your tone comes from, but after just making three men come with just your hands and mouth, some confidence has gathered in your chest.

Rex slides your underwear off and spreads your lower lips with his thumbs, and you can hear him suck in a breath. Fives sits down on the bed next to you and chuckles.

"Naughty, so wet from sucking dick." You give him a playful nudge which turns into a desperate grasp the moment Rex starts licking your slit in long lines, his tongue putting pressure on your clit repeatedly.

"Oh, fuckkkk-" you moan, your head falling back onto Fives' shoulder. Echo has now sat down on the other side of you and has taken it upon himself to lazily stroke and pinch at your nipples, the small licks of pain making you whine louder. Rex's pace is relentless, not gentle at all, and you find yourself on the edge much sooner than expected. Your nails dig into Fives' arm when Rex adds his fingers into the mix, pumping them in and out and curving them to hit the perfect spot while he sucks hard on your clit until you see-

"Stars!" you cry out, your hips lifting themselves off the bed as you buck into his tongue, your first orgasm of the night hitting you hard and deep. Rex keeps his tongue pushed against you for a while longer, until you come down from your high, slumping back down into the mattress with your breathing heavy and your skin shiny.

"Didn't know you knew how to do that, Captain," Echo jokes, still playing with your tits almost absentmindedly.

Rex wipes some of your slick off his face with the back of his hand and grins. "There's a lot you don't know about me."

When he sits back up, you can't help but notice he's well on his way to being hard again -- so are the others. There's a glimmer of pride in your chest at the moan Fives lets out when you wrap your hands around his cock again. You roll over, knees tucked under you, and bend down to wrap your lips around him again. In this position, you realize your ass is up in the air at an inviting angle, and you spread your knees a little further apart to give the man behind you a good view. It works, because it only takes a few seconds for Rex to grab your ass roughly with both his hands. His fingers line up with the bruises he left there before, and you hope he remembered your plea for their renewal.

"Look at you… you need a cock to fill you up, don't you, sweetheart?”

You hum around Fives’ cock in response, who fists his hand in your hair.

“Or maybe…” Rex’s voice is dark and rumbling, a sound that goes straight to your cunt, but that’s not where he touches you next. His thumb brushes over your exposed asshole and you stop moving your hips instantly in surprise. "... more than one? Think you could do that for us?"

You let Fives' cock slide out of your mouth to reply, spit and precum leaving a stringy trail between you. "Yes, please, I'll be so good for you," you whine, wanting nothing more than precisely that, to be good, to be of use to them, to make them feel good because they deserve it, and you're giddy and proud that they want this from you and no one else.

There's a bottle of oil in your nightstand for occasions like these -- a gift from a friend months ago who swears by this brand, but you hadn't gotten much use out of it yet. After all his nervousness earlier, you were surprised Rex took charge now, although you suppose he had just needed some time to settle into this commanding role that seemed to come so naturally to him in everyday life. The three of them briefly discuss among themselves how they should take you, but you have a hard time paying attention to the specifics. You bite your lip at the thought of the three of them filling all of you, and you can't help but sneak your hand between your legs to put some pressure onto your throbbing clit.

"Uh-uh," Fives tuts at you with a crooked smile, "none of that, now." He grabs the offending hand first and then the other so you can't touch yourself anymore. He laughs when you pout, and it makes you want to kiss the corners of his mouth. "C'mere," he says, pulling you forward to straddle his lap, his erection pressed between your bellies. It feels good, being this close to him, your skin against his. His smirk is still there and so you do steal a kiss, softly rutting against him just to feel him moan into your mouth. "How about the two of us stay like this," he says in your ear, pulling you tighter towards him with a hand on your lower back, "and I get to see your pretty little face while the other guys fuck your ass, hm?" Oh stars above, nothing coherent can leave your mouth in response to that. You press your face into the crook of Fives' neck and whine a breathy please that makes him chuckle. "Alright then sunshine, up you get." His strong hands lift you upwards so you can position yourself over his cock. Like it's the best thing he's ever felt, his eyes flutter closed when you sink down onto him, giving an experimental roll of your hips that tightens his grip on your waist.

"Fuck, I forgot how fucking hot your pussy is," he groans, and you can tell he's exerting some self control not to start fucking your brains out right away. You feel another warm hand on your back and turn to catch a glimpse of Echo.

"Yeah, Fives, you do know how to pick 'em," he jokes softly, but there's something different about him -- out of the three of them, you keep feeling like Echo might not have been attracted to you as much, like he might be happier with some girl from 79's, but now… You wonder if he reeled his feelings in so he wouldn't hurt his friend-- no, maybe that was just your vanity talking. Regardless, you pull Echo in for a short kiss while slowly starting to move with Fives inside you.

The sound of the glass bottle opening behind you gives you goosebumps. Rex's silence feels like the calm before the storm, and you hold your breath in anticipation. The liquid is a little cold when it trickles onto your skin, and you notice Rex also put a generous amount on his hand as he spreads it out, circling your little hole with his thumb. He works one finger into you gently, but you can feel the stretch and you cling onto Fives' shoulders.

"You alright, sunshine?" he asks and you nod, soothed by his voice and the circles Echo is rubbing on your back. Rex works you open gradually with his fingers, adding more oil when needed while Fives whispers words of encouragement into your ear. He keeps his hips painfully still -- your cunt throbs around him and you know he can feel it, too, but he doesn't budge, not yet.

“You’re doing so well, sunshine. Do you think you’re ready?”

“Mmhm,” you murmur against the skin of his shoulder.

“Ask Captain Rex nicely, then.”

You tilt your head up to look at him in slight bewilderment, only to find a playful smirk on his face. Before you can think of what to say, Rex starts slowly pulling his fingers out, grazing them along the sensitive skin in and around your ass, and you whine as you bury your face in Rex’s neck again.

“P-please, captain,” you cry, “please, please.”

His hands firmly dig into your asscheeks, rough and purposeful.

“Please what?”

Your words come out stifled and choked, both held back by your embarrassment to say something so filthy out loud, and shaken up by desire.

“Please fuck my a-ass, I need your cock, Rex, please!”

“Well done, sweetheart,” he says in that low voice that makes you quiver. He lines his cock up with your ass and you can’t help but buck your hips back slightly. His hands take hold of your sides and he starts pushing himself in, splitting you open easily with the help of the oil.

You’re full, so very full, and it’s so much, on the edge of being painful but not quite. Every part of your skin that touches one of your lovers is on fire, burning with arousal like it did when you had those toxins in your body, but better, now that your mind is sound. Whenever you think he can’t go any deeper, he does, and all you can do is hold onto Fives, digging your nails into his skin in the process.

“Fuck, stars, you take me so well,” Rex says behind you.

Echo pets your hair softly. “How’s it feel, baby?”

“F-feels good,” you respond, your words slurring together. Now both Fives and Rex are holding still with you in between them. The waiting is unbearable, like when the ocean pulls back before its biggest waves, and you are waiting for the water to crash.

The smallest roll of your hips is all it takes -- Rex groans as he pulls out about halfway, then thrusts back into you. From below you, Fives starts tilting his hips upwards, and you feel your cunt getting wetter around his cock. With the way you’re lying forwards on his chest, your clit rubs against him every time Rex slams his hips forwards. They move faster and faster, their skin slapping against yours and all you can do is sob, warm tears of pleasure mixing with sweat as they roll down your cheeks.

You can take more. You want to take more, and you look up at Echo through your wet lashes, reaching out for him, trying to find your words.

“Echo,” you whine softly, “my mouth, you can-”

You don’t have to tell him twice. He shifts so his cock is directly in front of your face instantly, unbearably hard and leaking. Your mouth opens almost instinctively, tongue lolling out to taste as much of him as possible.

Rex chuckles behind you as each thrust of his hips forces Echo’s cock further down your throat as you moan around him.

“Seems I was right the first time,” he says, not halting his speed even a little bit, “you really are a good little whore, aren’t you?”

Fuck, why do those words turn you on so much? Being called names was never something you wanted, but the way he said it, in that fucking delicious voice of his, it set you on fire and makes your cunt clench eagerly.

“Kriff, you liked that, didn’t you? Got all tight around me.”

Your mouth is too full of Echo’s cock to answer, but your throat lets out a noise that Echo clearly likes, because he moans and his strong hand finds purchase on your scalp. They fuck you mercilessly, all three of them pounding and thrusting into your body while you bounce on Fives’ cock and grind your clit against him. There is a deep focus to it, this steady rhythm while holding Echo’s cock into your mouth, but it feels so good and so complete, all of you moving together, thinking of nothing else but chasing the pleasure building in your cunt, and once you start slamming your hips down at the same moment Fives thrusts his up, it’s like the ocean wave crashing into the shore with full force, dragging you along with it. You come hard, a white-hot orgasm that shakes you to your core. You let Echo’s cock slip out of your mouth the moment you scream, and Five holds you against his chest where you can hear the pounding of his heart.

Fives halts the relentless thrusting of his hips for a moment, but not Rex -- he gives you not a moment of rest as he uses your ass with the same ferocity he used your cunt back on that planet.

“Fuck, fuck,” he swears behind you, “I’m gonna fucking- gonna cum, gonna fill this t-tight little ass up, would you like that? You wanna take my cum like a g-good little whore?”

“Yes, please, Rex,” you sob in reply.

He buries his cock deep inside your ass, his grip on your hips so tight it hurts, and then suddenly you feel a hand in your hair at the back of your head. Rex grabs a handful of hair and pulls, lifting your head up and back. He keeps you there while he coats your insides with his release, swearing throughout it, before letting you fall back onto Fives’ chest.

Echo stands up from the bed the second Rex pulls out of you and switches places with him.

“You can take a little more, can’t you, baby?” Echo says, lining his cock up with your ass. Some incoherent noise comes out of you as an answer, and Echo pushes in. Rex has opened you up enough for him to enter you easily, but knowing he’s fucking Rex’s cum back inside of you fans the flames in your belly and you can’t help but start bucking your hips back to feel it more, while Fives’ cock is still hot and throbbing in your cunt.

“Look at you,” you hear Rex say, “you can’t get enough of it, can you? Fucking yourself on two cocks at the same time, and looking so pretty doing it.”

“Mmm,” Fives agrees, and you can hear he’s trying to keep his composure but his breathing is ragged as he comes closer to his own release, “such a pretty little cockslut.”

The way they talk to you spurs you on, which they probably intended, and you start riding Fives like your life depends on it, pushing your upper body up a little straighter so you can look at him. He’s beautiful like this, face flushed, beads of sweat between his knitted brows while he intensely chases his pleasure. As soon as you look him in the eye he grabs the back of your head to pull you down, your forehead to his forehead, your nose to his nose, his eyes closed.

“You’re so f-fucking perfect,” he mutters, then lets out a long groan while he spills inside you, his head crashing backwards into the pillow. Echo’s thrusts get shorter and faster now and you buck back against him, wanting to give everything you still have left inside you. Rex’s hand sneaks up between your body and Fives’ to find your clit.

“Cum one more time, sweetheart, I know you can, with two cocks inside you.”

It’s too much -- you want to, but you don’t know if you can, don’t you if you’re even capable.

“I-I can’t, I-” you try to plead, but he rubs your clit roughly and you sob, hot tears wetting your cheeks. Echo tenses up behind you and you know he’s going to finish soon but-

Slap.

Rex’s hand comes down and strikes your asscheek so hard you squeal.

“I said cum.”

You do. You can’t explain it, but you do, an almost painful orgasm coursing through you while the sting of the strike lingers. A curse leaves your mouth but is caught by Fives’ lips pressing to yours and his tongue in your mouth. Echo spills his release into your ass with a moan, and with all three of their loads inside you, you have never felt so full.

After Echo pulls out, you climb off of Fives and let yourself fall backwards onto the mattress, every inch of you covered in sweat. Rex leans over to move some hair out of your face.

“Was that too much?” he asks, and the gentleness in his voice is almost heartbreaking.

“No,” you answer, a blissful smile on your face from how unbelievably good you’ve been fucked, “that was just right.” He leans over to press a kiss to your forehead, and you feel an ever so slight trace of stubble on his jaw, less than a day’s growth. You’ve never thought about him shaving, but you’d like to watch him do it, some day. Fives sits up, grabs your hand and puts it to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to your knuckles. Moments later, Echo appears with a towel from your closet and starts cleaning you up, dabbing the cloth between your thighs where their cum has started trickling out of you.

“So,” you start, grinning playfully “are we even, now?”

Rex chuckles and gets up off the bed to find his underclothes -- no doubt duty will call for him again soon. You feel so, so lucky, that these three men have chosen to spend what little free time they have with you, and a warmth spreads through your chest as you look at them, eyes half-lidded from drowsiness.

“Not a chance,” he jokes, stepping into his briefs.

Fives lets go of your hand and strokes your cheek with his thumb, grinning down at you, and Echo, too, has a smile on his face. Rex kisses your forehead one more time.

“You won’t get rid of us that easily.”

[shotofire]

505

TODORKI x F!READER

•Overview: a short fic based on the song “505” by Arctic Monkeys

•Warnings: smut, cursing, toxic relations

•Season: not within a certain season, set after highschool

All characters are 18+ in this fic, so you should be too.

-

I’m going back to 505

If it’s a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive

In my imagination you’re waiting, lyin’ on your side

With your hands between your thighs

Todoroki stares out the train’s window with a blank expression. He couldn’t believe he was doing this shit to himself again. Letting (y/n) convince him to come over on a late night. He knew she’d be waiting for him in the most provocative position, probably already touching herself. The ride only had a few minutes left before he reached her.

She was going to take advantage of his feelings for her just like the last visit, and the many times before that. He’d been in love with her since the second their eyes met on the first day at UA. Of course (y/n) wasn’t in the same boat, relationships weren’t her thing at the time and still aren’t.

He drags his feet up the stairs of her apartment complex. The weight on his shoulders was too much to bare yet he kept going. He kept coming back with a smile, all to see her. The man just wanted to be around her, even if it hurt.

Knuckles tapped against the red wooden door in front of him, the numbers 505 nailed to it. The pit in his stomach began to form as always. The feelings for her were only going to grow after tonight, he was well aware of this but he keeps coming back.

(y/n)’s silky voice told him to come in, the feeling of lust from her was prominent. His eyes softened at the sight of the women on the black couch in only a bra and underwear, and one of her hands was snaked into her panties. The other toyed with her chest, a smirk plastered across her face.

Stop and wait a sec

Oh, when you look at me like that, my darling

What did you expect?

I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

Or I did last time I checked

Her eyes were darkened with desire and lust. She takes her hand out of her underwear to motion him closer. He could only think about how beautiful she looked right now. Hair a slight mess after a lazy day, lips bitten red, cheeks flushed, she was truly breathtaking. This image would be imbedded in his mind forever.

Todoroki’s feet moved as his mind raced, frame towering over hers as she still rested on the couch. She smirks at him before standing up, fingers coming to trace his jaw and neck. The two didn’t say a word, only colliding lips in a hungry kiss. His hands cup underneath her thighs to lift her up, legs wrapped around his waist.

She looped one arm around his neck as the other got tangled in his red and white hair. He couldn’t help but moan at the feeling, her touch sent electricity through him. He was under a complete spell when she was around. It didn’t matter if he was in the middle of doing something he’d rush to her appartment in an instant. Anything to have her attention, even if they had different ideas of what they truly wanted from one another.

He carries her to the bedroom while lips and tongues continue to fight for dominance. He drops her onto the soft mattress before diving into her neck, leaving one sloppy kiss after another. She lets out the most lewd noises that send shocks straight to his manhood.

The sounds she makes has to be his favorite thing in the world. It was pure music to his ears, it’s something he’ll never get tired of.

Soon his clothes are scattered on the floor and the undergarments that remained on her were discarded as well. He looked at her naked body with love in his eyes, but the only thing hers held were lust.

Not shy of a spark

The knife twist at the thought that I should fall short of the mark

Frightened by the bite but it’s no harsher than the bark

Middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start

Hips hit one another as moans filled the room. He pampered her face and chest with kisses as her mouth hung open in pure bliss. There was a reason she kept calling Todoroki back here, he knew how to make her feel good. No one reached the peak of pleasure like he did.

The feelings of pleasure and pain mixed within the poor mans chest. It felt as if a knife had been stuck straight into his heart. Knowing he didn’t measure up to all of her desires. He wanted it to be more than sex, more than lust, more than this. He knows nothing is going to change yet he keeps coming back, keeps satisfying her even though he leaves with his heart more broken than before.

If only she knew she help the knife that was taking away his happiness each time he returned. The love he has for her stops him from thinking about his own well being. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. There was no getting out as long as she kept calling him back.

As his member moved within her walls it didn’t feel right. There was no true meaning behind this, there was no gain for him. It was all about her, all about the way she felt. Each time this happens he tries to make her feel better than the time before, hoping the actions will somehow convince her to just love him back. To need him as much as he needed her.

I’m going back to 505

If it’s a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive

In my imagination you’re waitin’ , lyin’ on your side

With your hands between your thighs

All the times he’s been here begin to flood his mind. He can’t believe he’s let (y/n) take advantage of his feelings so much. He knows she’s fully aware of how he feels for her, how he’s felt for years, yet she continues to punish him like this.

He lets her take bit by bit of him, and soon there’s going to be nothing left to take.

The headboard begins to slam into the wall harder as his takes out his pent anger and frustration. She’s been playing him for years, using him, and holding him back. He could’ve been with someone who actually loved him back, he could’ve been happy.

Her moans increase and a smile of pleasure is plastered across her flawless face. He watches as her eyes close and she throws her head back with enjoyment. Deep down he wished she wouldn’t enjoy it, that she thought it’d be the worst sex she’s ever had and didn’t want him to dive between her thighs ever again.

She’d stop calling him late at night with a needy voice, and he wouldn’t be stuck on this endless loop of hurt.

But I crumble completely when you cry

It seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with goodbye

I’m always just about to go and spoil the surprise

Take my hands off of your eyes too soon

Todoroki’s love for (y/n) grew every minute he spent with her. It didn’t matter if he was breaking inside at the same time, she just had that effect on him. It’s what made things so much harder.

Tears brimmed in the corner of both their eyes, his in pain and hers in pleasure. She rocked her hips to meet his and gasped at the feeling, it was overwhelming in the best way possible. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she called out his name breathlessly.

His heart panged in his chest at the sight. Why couldn’t she feel the same things he felt? Where did he go wrong? Everything starts to hurt as soon as he walks into her appartment. Knowing at the end of the night he’s going to leave. It’s as if it’s already a goodbye when the two begin to kiss.

Tears fall from his face onto her neck and she feels them. Her eyes open to see how broken he is, what she’s done to him. But she feels nothing for him, seeing him like this isn’t going to change anything.

She throws her head back once again as she reaches her high, back arching and moans increasing. Her walls tighten around him and he lets a moan slip at the feeling. His movements only increase to soon reach his end, biting his swollen lips. He slams his hips into hers in one hard thrust before letting go inside of her.

His body falls next to hers in a fit of heavy breathing, and as always, no words are spoken.

I’m going back to 505

If it’s a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive

In my imagination you’re waitin’ , lyin’ on your side

With your hands between your thighs and a smile

He stares up at the ceiling that he knows all too well while his head spins, and his body feeling numb. He’s came here once again, did what he was wanted for, and soon he’ll be leaving.

(y/n) has her forearm resting on top of her eyes, trying to catch her breath. Each are glistening in sweat. He turns his head to look at her, admiring the way her hair sprawls out on the pillow beneath her and how red bitten her lips are. She was a devil but disguised herself as an angel. 

Her breathing began to slow down and her body relaxed. She’s fallen asleep, out of energy from the events that just unfolded. He knows this is his que to leave he wasn’t welcome to sleep over. The times he’s done that have resulted in her waking up saying she had company coming, something to do or somewhere to be. He knew it was all a lie to get him to go, he was only wanted for one thing.

He gathers his clothes then slips into them, and then checks the time. It was nearly two in the morning and he looked like he just got wrecked. Hair sticking in every direction, a fresh hicky on his neck, and lipstick stains on his lips. 

A shiver runs through (y/n)’s body and he notices. He grabs the blanket that sits at the bottom of her bed and covers her naked frame. He pushes the stray hairs out of her face and presses a light feathery kiss to her forehead.

She was a beautiful sight right now, as always. He only wishes he could lay next to her and hold her, make her feel loved. But he knew she wasn’t interested in feeling that way, it would’ve happened by now.

A tear escapes his eyes and he sniffles. It hurt even more this time to leave. Why did he have to care so much? Why did he have to love so hard?

He wiped the tears and whispered, “goodbye.”

Even though he knew he’d be back, wether that be in a few days or a few weeks. It wouldn’t be long before she took advantage of him once again.

He left with a new piece of his heart within her grasp.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/12/21

MANY PROBLEMS

Please do not be alarmed by my sudden correct capitalization and better than usual punctuation, this comes from my phone bc I simply cannot be bothered to move from the couch and my phone is where I write correctly capitalized and punctuated work emails.

listening Anyway here are two spooky songs: Eartha Kitt’s I’d Rather Be Burned As A Witch is a jauntily rude little song I love her

Song two that was on loop as I cleaned my kitchen on Sunday night and has since been stuck in my head: Grabbitz’s Pigs In The Sky, which immediately went on four different character playlists bc I am (as previously established) a weak and predictable woman. The production on this one really pleases my brain, there’s enough happening in the background that it’s interesting and layered and doesn’t sound muddy, which is Very hard to do bc I am Very hard of hearing.

reading Star Wars: Scourge by Jeff Grubb

This book is a DARE campaign about how space cocaine is bad and causes murders. We’re going to set aside the whole drug thing for a minute bc honestly there are extremely few pieces of media that do a good job portraying addiction and drug use and holding a 2012 Star Wars novel to that standard is unfair. Oddly enough, in contrast with that, this book has a very sympathetic portrayal of Hutts, traditionally the cartel bosses of this universe.

Something this book IS good at doing is operating in a tiny backwater and making things feel small. It’s set in period of time where the post-Disney media doesn’t usually end up, on a number of planets we aren’t usually on, with a number of background at best factions. There was a post going around about how small old movies are are how they could be about just one guy having a bad day, and I recently had a convo with my best friend about how I hated the anime series bc it did get to explore bits and pieces but there was always the looming sense of exactly where we were in the narrative. Jabba is always there, or the Empire is always ther. Or the New Order is always there looming in the background. In this one the Corporates are always in the background, a faction that I would not say has had its moment in the Sun yet. Refreshing if disjointed.

This book does an awful lot of telling and not showing. The strength of Star Wars is the visuals, it started with the movies and the most successful pieces are the moving images. This book just straight up tells me how things happen and what everyone’s motives are. It does not let me imagine what the film version would look like, or trust me enough as a reader to draw my own conclusions and solve puzzles by myself. Again, it’s very hard to write mysteries and I may be holding this to an unfair standard, but it simply did not work for me. The clues were either extremely blatant or left me feeling like I didn’t have all the info the book thought I had. I think my main quibble is: not enough red herrings or enough effort put into them, but I do not care enough to reread this and develop my opinion further.

Now, I don’t know if this book is so single-minded bc the author admittedly has issues following and developing more than one plot thread at a time, or if this was a deliberate choice bc it was one of the last novels signed before Disney bought Lucasfilm and couldn’t tie into anything by design. Who could say.

watching Fallow week. Yes really. Been a lotta late nights over here at Evil Lair LLC and I have just enough energy to absorb half a bad romance novel/Star Wars novel/Star Wars romance novel for forty minutes before passing out

playing nothing I can talk about

making I like picking up large melee weapons when they’re a dollar. this file sat in a diluted vinegar/salt bath for two days and it didn’t really do anything except clear enough gunk out for me to realize the tip is just a little mangled. Am I gonna need this file any time soon? Probably not in this apartment but who could say. Before/after/yikes

[chickenmcfly1]

Since you said you’re a guitarist and music major yourself, do you have any thought about Marty as a musician and his path?

omg you should not have gotten me going on this. Music and Marty are my favorite topics of ramble about and now you’re letting me ramble about both together gajagska. Anyway, here are my thoughts about Marty and his music

He started showing musical inclination when he was quite young. Grandma Sylvia (aka Trixie Trotter) would sing and play for Marty and he loved it

He expresses want to learn an instrument when he’s around 8 years old and there’s already a plunky little piano in the McFly home. By no means is it a good instrument, but George has Sylvia teach him.

Marty likes it a lot and he practices and becomes pretty proficient. Neither Lorraine or George expect much to come from it, but they’d rather have Marty playing jazz standards and Beethoven than have him setting fire to the rest of the house

After Sylvia passes a few years later, well one, Marty is absolutely destroyed because he’s not that close to anyone else in his family, but also the piano lessons stop. George and Lorraine can’t afford lessons and they don’t really care enough to encourage Marty’s musical goals

Marty keeps up with his piano playing, but around this time, at age 10, he begins to get really into Rock n Roll. The record store by his house is where Marty goes to escape his family before Doc and he becomes obsessed with all the Rock Stars and their records.

There’s a video of Jimi Hendrix explaining how to play the guitar that plays at the music store on loop, and Marty watches it over and over and over and over until he has it pretty much memorized

He mows lawn for a week and the first time he gets paid, he goes straight to the record store and buys the tape and the other guitar lessons that come with it

And Marty decides right then that he wants to be just like those rock stars. Because their music is so incredible and they’re so entertaining, and talented, and cool.

The older Marty gets, the more fascinated with all kinds of music Marty becomes. He applies himself to learning the melodies and analyzing the elements of the music with a dedication that his teachers wish he could also apply to literally anything else

He also tries his hand at writing his own music. It comes surprisingly easy because Marty’s a very emotional person, even at like 12, but he’s really scared of expressing those emotions. He’s afraid of being made fun of and rejected and judged and called weak, so he writes music, but nobody ever heard it.

By 12, Marty is begging his parents for a guitar, but they don’t want to spend the money on an instrument or lessons. Marty; however, is desperate and is willing to do literally anything to get his parents to buy him one.

Hill Valley is a small town, and the record store owner obviously had noticed how Marty comes by every single day, so he ends up giving Marty some trashy old acoustic that needs to be tossed

The guitar is probably only given to Marty because fixing it up to put it in selling condition would probably cost more that they could ever make from it, but looking at Marty, you’d think he’s just been given the best gift in the entire universe

So he watches the Jimi Hendrix tapes another 10,000 times and works his ass off and improves an enormous amount and by the time he’s 13, Marty is quite a good guitar player

In 8th grade, he’s able to save enough for another (equally crappy and equally used) guitar but this one’s electric and its the most incredible thing Marty has ever seen and he adores it

Marty’s super insecure in pretty much everything he does, and nobody feels good about themselves at age 13, but at this age, Marty really starts doubting himself way more and struggling with confidence. Music is an escape from that. Marty works so hard with his piano playing, with his singing, and especially his guitar playing, and making music is the place where he feels most comfortable in himself.

At this point, Marty’s family life is getting worse and worse, school is hard and friends are hard, but he has music and he throws himself into it 110 percent.

That all comes crashing down at Marty’s first audition. Marty auditions for Jazz band in 8th grade, and that rejection shouldn’t be a big deal because there two spots and 8th 9th and 10th graders, but Marty’s quickly rejected and it breaks it heart. This had been the one thing that was simple for Marty. There was no chaos or fighting or compilations behind it, he just did it and it made him happy, and now that’s been taken away from him too

He pretty much decides he’s giving up on music forever after that and is never playing for anyone else again, but as usual, Doc comes into Marty’s life at the perfect time.

Music is one of the first things Doc and Marty bond about. Doc tells Marty he’s welcome to play any of his records while they’re working. His music is mostly jazz and 50s stuff, and Marty absolutely falls in love with it.

After listening to more of that, Marty discovers a love for combining the classics with a new unique kinda heavy metal sound

He asks Doc about the saxophone and Doc teaches Marty quite a bit of it. Marty’s not as great at sax as he is at piano, singing, or guitar, but it’s fine because he has a duet partner now.

He and Doc play together a lot and he’s the only one that gets to hear Marty’s original music. Marty writes a bunch of jazz and rock pieces for Sax and Guitar too, and being able to play with Doc gives Marty a lot of the confidence boost he needs. Doc makes a point to always encourage and compliment Marty’s performance. And it’s not hard to do either, because Marty really does have something special.

Improvising with Marty is a wild ride. He’s able to change keys, styles, and go into mixed meter in a way that seems almost effortless and with alarming speed. Anybody with him really does have to ‘try to keep up’

Once he gets to high school, Marty tries auditioning for a few things again. To his surprise, he’s picked for a few small things. Nothing as big as he wants, but it’s better than nothing. Someone somewhere thinks Marty’s good and that’s something.

Marty also gets into a little bit or recording, mixing, and composing. [There’s a tiny electric or MIDI keyboard in his bedroom in the Polaroid from the set so I’m assuming he’s writing music for full bands and playing some parts on MIDI with a software instrument, but idek if that technology existed back then, so who knows right]

For his 15th birthday, Doc gives him the rest of the money for the guitar he’s been saving up for. It’s an Ibanez and when he plays it or the first time, it feels like the instrument was made just for him and everything is right in the world

He throws himself even more into practice after this and music goes from a hobby to the thing he wants to do with his life. Marty’s always felt lost and directionless when it comes to his future. It’s always felt like he isn’t good enough and won’t really amount to anything. His family are all nobodies, and nobody thinks Marty is capable of achieving anything. But Music gives him purpose and hope for the future.

Doc’s nonstop encouragement is what pushes Marty to finally take the first step and decide to pursue music

In sophomore year, the pinheads come together. Marty is a lot more serious about the whole thing than the others, but being in a band is cool, so they all carve out a few hours every week to rehearse. Marty pushes and pushes them and himself to be better.

He starts dating Jennifer in junior year and Marty writes a lot of songs for her. He finally gets the courage to show her one. Jennifer loves it and becomes Marty’s (second) biggest cheerleader. Any audition, rehearsal, and rare performance Marty has, she’s there. She knows how much this means to him and she takes any opportunity to encourage him

By senior year, everyone seems to know what they want to do with their life, and Marty knows with absolute clarity what he wants to do too, but he’s so scared to take the leap and go for music. He wants this so badly and it means so much to him, and someone telling him he’s not good enough to make it would absolutely destroy Marty. So he keeps these dreams close to his chest and only tells Jennifer and Doc, who convinces Marty to send an audition to the record company

Making that audition tape is the most miserable experience ever. He does over 100 takes of the same song because if it’s not absolutely perfect Marty’s entire world is going to be destroyed. The recording is never perfect (and Doc tells Marty that no recording will never be perfect enough in Marty’s eyes, and what he has done is incredible but Marty doesn’t believe it)

In the timeline where Marty breaks his hand, the second he wakes up in the hospital and sees his mangled hand and feels the way his fingers move so disjointedly, he knows he screwed up and everything is ruined

The loss of music, which was the one thing that made Marty have hope in himself, sends him spiraling and leads to the broke version of him in 2015

In the timeline where everything works out and Marty doesn’t race, he ends up sending the audition to the record company right away. Obviously, insecurity, confidence issues, and an obsessive need for validation don’t just disappear with one trip to the old west, but after time travel, he’s able to put himself out there with his music a lot more

After time travel, Marty is stuck in his own head a lot. He’s often very confused about the terms of his own existence, and existentialism aside, he’s struggling to cope with trauma bc guilt from what happened on his travels. And while Marty doesn’t care what other people think of him that much anymore, his own opinion of himself has gotten worse, if anything.

Getting over the initial thoughts of ‘you’re not good enough so why even bother’ is a whole process but he and Doc work through it, and Marty is finally able to commit himself wholly to his music.

Being on stage and performing and just playing gives Marty a reprieve from the trauma and the confusion he’s dealing with and his music gives him another safe space

As Marty starts to heal more and more he also starts auditioning more, playing more confidently, performing his own music and Doc (who moved back to the present) is his biggest cheerleader and is there at every performance

The new McFly parents really push Marty to study music at a college so he can get a college degree, and Marty ends up auditioning for college and studying Guitar Performance with an emphasis on Music Education

He writes several albums, a few become huge sensations, he is able to tour for a bit and he performs quite a lot. Once the kids are born, he stops touring as much, and once they’re older, he pretty much fully stops so he can fully focus on them.

He becomes a music teacher instead and it allows him to encourage so many other budding musicians while still staying true to his own passions

[achliegh]

Bronze

Alright, I had this wonderful idea come into my head about Clayton, honestly he deserves his own fic. So here is his version of events! Lots will tie together with Golden so I recommend you read that as well. But you don’t have to of course.

Explaining:

Before Letter is the present.

Letter is updating the lives of the people back home, of whoever wrote it mostly.

After Letter is memory.

The first few letters will be very awkward because writing letters and not being sure what to talk about and what not to talk about is hard and confusing. Stick with me! Yes, this prologue is just a letter.

TW/CW: Discussions of death, miliatry training, smut, cringy jokes, underage drinking, dumb choices, swearing, hospitals, injuries and death caused by someone close, domestic abuse, blood, unfair treatment from police, false alligations.

Beta: @walking-crisis

Some Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Chapter 5:

American Kids

He was getting restless, laying in a hospital bed and having nothing happening was driving him nuts. He was just itching to get up but every time he tried to, he suddenly felt like the only safe place was his bed.

He watched the time tick by but it never seemed to change, he was stuck in a loop.

He felt trapped. This was the first day he has ever been alone. Grev, or whatever his name is, wasn’t there. All of his things were there though.

The newspaper, the picture album, and the little book he reads all the time. But he wasn’t there. It was eerie, he felt like even if he was alone someone was watching him. It didn’t feel right, so he decided to snoop a little.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and felt his feet touch the cool tile. He felt that sense of dread dropping his body temperature, but he made himself stand and walk over to the only entertainment in sight. Taking a couple of shaky steps he made his way over to the chairs and picked up the small book.

It was blank on both sides and looked old, he was feeling the worn leather in his hands and was about to open the book when he heard someone clear their throat.

“I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

Dear Clay,

We haven’t heard from you in a while… You were supposed to be home today. We weren’t given any information about where you would be or where to pick you up. We talked over a satellite phone three weeks ago and you told us how excited you were.

Where are you? Why haven’t we heard from anyone? Usually they tell us you’re going to be late or not coming back but all we have gotten is radio silence. We tried to get a hold of your commanding officer and then we were told he wasn’t available…

Are you still there?

We miss you.

We love you.

Come back to us Clay.

Love,

Noelle

P.S.

I can’t bring myself to use our nicknames because I’m so fucking worried. I’m sorry.

Clay was watching as Leo was being followed by a gaggle of geese. It wasn’t uncommon for Leo to be followed by a group of animals but it was always entertaining. Clay and Reg sat on the park bench in Gryffindor eating some kettle corn they bought before they came to the park. Gryffindor was beautiful, Clay loved it here. It was nice and cool. Reg was humming to the most recent song he was obsessed with. Clay thinks he has developed a crush on Kenny Chesney, especially after hearing American Kids play over the speakers a million times in the last week and a half. It’s extra funny because Reg is Canadian.

“Hey Clay?” Reg snorted as Leo got bit on the ass and tried to run away from the gaggle which caused them to chase him. Reg looks at him and Clay can tell there is something bothering him. Reg is very good at hiding his emotions but once you get to know him, he has little things that give him away.

Like how when he is nervous to tell someone something, he keeps his mouth busy. Eating, or chewing on his hangnails and fingernails. Sometimes he will try to chug a drink in the middle of a sentence and choke on it. Like the dumbass he is.

“What's up?” Clay ate a handful of kettle corn and watched as Leo tried to hide behind a tree trunk.

“This is something I haven’t told anyone yet… So, know that I’m trusting you with something important.” Picking at a hangnail on his thumb and about to bite it Clay grabs his hand and gives it a supportive squeeze. This was a big deal because Reg never told anyone anything about himself. He was heavily guarded and Leo and Clay didn’t push him, he needed to break out of his shell by himself.

“I…” Reg sighs and looks everywhere but Clay. “I think- no, I know I’m not straight.” Clay nods and opens his mouth to say something but Reg just word vomits to him. “I’masexualandaromantic!” Reg looks down at his lap and seems to be ashamed.

“Can you maybe… say that again a little slower?”

“I’m asexual..” Reg pauses and clay nods and makes a noise of acknowledgement. “And aromatic.”

“That's fucking cool.”

“Really?” Reg looks at him, his voice is shaky and his eyes are hopeful. Clay smiles and ruffles Reg’s hair.

“Of course it is! Don’t ever think that I won’t be there for you because of something like this. Also, let Leo and I know if any sex type shit we talk about makes you uncomfortable.” He uses his thumb to rub away the one little drop of salty emotion water that fell onto Reg’s cheek and smiles when Reg swats his hand away.

“HELP!” Leo yells at them from across the pond they were sitting at, he's on the ground just being beat up by some angry geese. It was brutal too. Reg and Clay decided it was best to help out their friend and chucked some of their popcorn on the ground when they got closer to Leo. Once the geese were distracted they made a break from them, back to the trail to Reg’s house.

Clay was so proud of Reg.

He always would be.

[verycrunchymoon]

Love Letters | SFW Fluff

Amajiki x FirstyearFem!Reader

☽ Warnings: mentions of anxiety ☾ ☽ Word count: 1,900+  ☾ ☽ Summary: He felt his heart begin to race as he approached his locker, his eyes quickly scanning the rows as he determined which was his, scouring the forest of blue-gray metal boxes for any sign of pink; searching for any papers sticking out of the thin slots, for any envelopes taped to the front, for even a hint of a left message. "She hasn't forgotten about me.. right?" ☾ .      .      . 

Tamaki Amajiki considered himself to be incredibly below average. His demeanor was sullen and shy, and despite being a part of the “Big 3”, he felt far behind his peers. He watched his feet graze the scuffed flooring of the school halls as he walked alongside his two friends, who were also part of the prestigious school trio. Other students of all grades parted ahead of them as they made their way to the lockers at the front of the school. 

“You were great during training today, Tamaki!” he heard his friend Mirio Togata call back to him, the confident blonde making gestures as large as his strides. “I’m serious, the you used your quirk at the end was really creative!” “Yeah, Tamaki,” his other friend, Neijire Hado, bounced in agreement, “I think all three of us did amazing!! Did you see me when I dropped down in the beginning? Kinda like you did! Did you see who I was fighting? We should get some snacks after this, I’m starving!” 

“Neijire, you’re making a scene..” Tamaki shushed her, glancing around them as they parted to their respective lockers. As he looked up for the first time since they left the classroom, he froze, his eyes locking onto a pink envelope sticking halfway out of the slots of his locker. He felt his mouth and throat begin to dry as he trampled at the sight, his mind racing with possibilities. Why is this here? This isn't what I think it is, right? No, it can't be, why would it be? How could anyone like me? This is too stressful, this isn't happening, this is-

“Tamaki,” he heard Mirio start as his hand pressed onto his shoulder from the side, “what’s taking so long? What’s that in your locker?” “Oooo!!” he heard Neijire squeal in a sing-song voice, “Tama-kitten has a secret admirer!!!” He cringed and sunk his head low at the thought of romantic attention, his face practically glowing a deep, pigmented red. “Welllllll?“ he heard her tease as she leaned around his shoulder, “Show us what it says, dummy!!”

Tamaki gulped and shook as he tentatively opened the letter, careful to preserve the envelope and whatever was inside. The heart-shaped sticker that held the pastel envelope closed was easily peeled away, the paper packaging folding back and revealing the letter inside, folded into thirds.

“I..” he croaked out softly, “I can’t do it.. This is too much, my throat is dry, I can barely think,  I-” he was interrupted by his female classmate grabbing the envelope out of his quivering hands and pulling the folded message out of its sheath. “You’re such a kitten, Tamaki!” she giggled teasingly. “Now then, let’s see what this says” she cleared her throat and began:

“My dearest Amajiki,  you don't know me.. I'd be surprised if you even knew I existed. But I know you. I know you're a great hero, a great friend to Togata-senpai and Neijire-san, and a great student. I know you're a lot more important than you think of yourself, a lot stronger than you seem, and more amazing than anyone could ever know.. especially to me. I’m too afraid and embarrassed to speak to you in person.. I’m sure I’d donk it all up anyways. But, maybe through letters, you can get to know me, and maybe one day I can gain enough courage to see you in person. Whoops, I’ve been rambling a bit.. Anyways, I hope I'm not annoying you with this letter. And I hope you read this, though a part of me wants to hide this and never let anyone see it. Sincerely, Secret admirer from class 1-B”

The three friends stared at the paper with mixed emotions spread across their faces. 

“Wait.. ‘donk’?” “Class 1-B?” “Afraid..?” Tamaki muttered to himself, his face feeling heavy from the blood rushing to his face, “They’re afraid of.. me?” 

Tamaki stared at the letter in awe, his mind buzzing with a strange mix of excitement and fear and happiness he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wanted to meet them, he wanted to know what they looked like and sounded like. He glanced at the stairs that led up to the first-year classes in wonder.

“We should go up to class 1-B and try to see who it is!” he heard Mirio exclaim, and was promptly yanked out of his blissful daydreaming. Of course he wanted to see who it was, but at the same time the thought of confronting a first-year like that sounded so narcissistic. He grabbed Mirio’s wrist as he began towards the stairs.

“No!” he yelped as he stopped him. Mirio and Neijire looked back at him in shock, as did a few other students who heard his voice raise so uncharacteristically. His face flushed in embarrassment and he turned his gaze straight to the floor before whispering, “I.. I don’t want to know who it is yet”.

The two of his friends looked at each other before smirking knowingly. “Alrighty then,” Mirio beamed, “let’s just get to our dorms then, I have a spicy ramen bowl waiting for me and I’m starving!”

The three of them finished quickly and began to walk towards the fourth-year dorm building, all the while Tamaki ran his finger over the edges of the envelope and tried to forget about crushes and secret admirers. Surely it was just a joke from the first-years, trying to embarrass him.. right?

. . .

It had been a few months since the first letter arrived. Tamaki shut the door behind him and sighed before reaching into his pocket and smiling, pulling out another envelope identical to the first. He opened a drawer in his desk to reveal many more letters, each neatly kept in their own folder organized by dates. Some of the labels even had little hearts drawn on them, symbolizing which were his very favorites. He carefully placed the letter he’d received that day and wrote in small, straight handwriting the date, followed by a little heart. He smiled again and sighed dreamily for what seemed like the hundredth time; he couldn't remember ever feeling so important to someone, even to Mirio. This girl made him feel giddy and dreamy and important and so many other things, but he didn't even know her name. 

“This is good,” he thought out loud, though he felt his smile fade, “I’m fine just knowing someone like this exists. Besides, there’s no way for me to ask..” And then he stopped. A single thought entered his mind like a bright torch in a dark forest. How had he not thought of this before? He sped to his desk, pulled out a paper and wrote as fast as he could, not caring that his j’s went too low or his t’s went too high or even that he forgot to write the date. He smiled excitedly and his cheeks ached as he slid the letter into an envelope, sealed it with a piece of tape, and wrote on the front “To Admirer”.

The next day, during lunch, he taped the letter to the front of his locker. He wanted to make sure she saw it when she went to slip her own letter into the metal slots of the blue-gray box. But morning would have been too early; it might have fallen or been meddled with by the time she got there. 

He couldn't focus in class, only scribbling little loops in the edges of his paper and imagining what kind of face she might make when she sees the letter. He felt a small knot of anxiety begin to twist in his stomach as he thought, What if she doesn't like it? But he brushed it aside, and managed to survive through his final period and rushed through the hallways to his locker. The letter was gone, tape and all, and had only been replaced by a small, pink sticker in the shape of a heart. The same kind she used to seal all her envelopes to him. He felt his stomach flip and he smiled wildly, gripping his shirt to keep his hands from flailing wildly out of pure joy and excitement. 

“I did it,” he excitedly blurted to Mirio as they sat on the couches of the dorm common room.

“Did what?” Mirio questioned, glancing to Meijire who shrugged and shook her head.

“I wrote back to her,” he smiled, “the girl who’s been putting letters in my locker, my admirer. I wrote her a letter and she took it!” “Wow!” Mirio exclaimed, and Neijire began clapping enthusiastically, “I’m proud of you, Tamaki!” “Yay, Tamaki!” Neijire whooped, “Go go go! Get that girl!” Tamaki chuckled and blushed embarrassedly, and couldn't stop thinking of it for the rest of the night. He couldn't wait for the next letter and what it might entail. But, there was no letter the next day. Or the day after that, or the day after that. For a whole week there were no more letters. Not even a sticker. He felt his heart get heavier with each passing day. Did he write something wrong in that letter? Did he scare her away by asking for her name? This is all my fault, he thought, I scared her away.. She thinks I'm a freak.. He sulked his way to his locker for the 9th time in a row, and glanced up, only to be jerked out of his depressed daze by a shimmering pink heart. “She still likes me,” he muttered to himself, and ran his thumb over the signature sticker, smiling ear-to-ear.

There were still no letters after that, but every day a new sticker was added to his locker instead., and he placed a piece of tape over every one to preserve them on the metal door. Maybe she just couldn't think of what to say. Another two weeks passed when, on Wednesday, there wasn’t another sticker. He searched and brushed over each one, counting and recounting, but there wasn't a new one at all. There wasn't a new one on Thursday either. He felt his heart begin to race as he approached his locker on Friday, his eyes quickly scanning the rows as he determined which was his, scouring the forest of blue-gray metal boxes for any sign of pink; searching for any papers sticking out of the thin slots, for any stickers stuck to the front, for even a hint of a left message. 

"She hasn't forgotten about me.. right?" he frowned to himself, and turned to look at Mirio only to see a freshman standing like a deer in headlights, with a pink envelope in her hands, sealed with a heart-shaped sticker. They stared at teacher for what seemed like eternity before she began: 

“I-I ran out of stickers” He could barely breathe, only managing to reply with “Oh” before darting his eyes to the floor. A sliver of pink came into his field of vision, and he glanced up to see her holding out the envelope with trembling hands. “My name is (Y/N),” she spoke, and shuffled her feet as he took the envelope carefully.

“My name is Tamaki Amajiki,” he replied.

“I know” “Oh”

[cucumbers-and-olives]

Unrequited Love: Part 2, Heartbreak Girl

<<<part one

Summary: At a band performance, you see Carrie in the crowd.

Category: Angst, songfic

Fandom: JATP

Paring: Carrie x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings/Includes: idiot characters who can't tell that the other is in love with them, spelling errors, weird time skips

A/N: alright, this has taken so long but its finally here! hope you guys like it!

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: @wrhen @funsizearsonist , you guys have been so patient as this has sat in my drafts for sooooooo long, so thank you guys for your help/kindness!

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 under the same username. Thank you!

You looked around the venue, the bright lights glaring you in the eye. The crowd shouted as you spoke, “This song goes out to someone important to me. To my Care-bear. She’s not here tonight, but if she was, this is what I would tell her.”

“One, two, three, four!” Your band's drummer, Kye, counted off.

-

Carrie walked in as the opening notes played from your guitar. In the noisy and busy venue, it was easy for her to blend in with the crowd where you couldn’t see her. Not that she was trying to avoid you, but after the other day… well she didn't know what would happen when the two of you got a chance to talk to each other.

-

As you played, your eyes drifted around the venue, looking for her, skimming past others who looked nothing like her, and ones who did. She said she would be here. She promised a week ago, no matter what. Maybe she’s in an area I can’t see? No, she said she’d be in the front.

“You call me up

It's like a broken record

Saying that your heart hurts

That you'll never get over him getting over you

And you end up crying

And I end up lying

'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do,”

“He broke up with me.” She collapsed on your bed, pulling a tub of ice cream out of her backpack. “And I have to walk around that school with a smile on my face and pretend I’m okay.” She looked over to you, sitting at your desk. You were fiddling with a pencil mindlessly.

“At least you can be honest with me.” You meant what you said, and you didn’t at the same time.

~ “God he's an asshole. I ended it.” It was first period, and you knew it would be a long day when she said that. But, it wasn’t gonna be a day at school.

~

“We’re over, for real this time.” The text came in at 12 pm, waking you up. The streets were dark as you drove to the grocery store (to get ice cream), and then to her house. You wondered how much sleep you were gonna get tonight, and clearly, not a lot.

~

“I can’t believe he ended it. I thought we were good for once.” She came in through the window this time. A tub of strawberry ice cream as always, it was Carrie’s favorite after all. “You know, he’s been staring at that Molina girl all week…”

All the calls and texts, it all became too much for you. Carrie and Nick were on and off like a light switch, and she couldn't even see the girl right in front of her. The girl that would do anything for her. Starting with being there. Always.

“And when then phone call finally ends

You say "Thanks for being a friend"

And I'm going in circles again and again,”

“Thank you.” She said, as your car stopped outside of her house. You nodded. You didn’t need to say anything.

~

“Thanks.” Carrie said, and you heard a beep from your phone as she ended the call.

“Anything for you. Always.” You whisper into the quiet nothingness.

~

“You’re awesome!” She hollered over her shoulder, running to class.

Carrie was honest each time she said that, as you helped her through heartbreak over and over. But now, she realized that it was way too much for you. She could see the pain in your eyes as you sang, still looking around for her, she presumed.

“I dedicate this song to you

The one who never sees the truth

That I can take away you hurt

Heartbreak girl,”

And then you saw her. She was slowly moving through the crowd and she stopped in the middle subconsciously, as she turned to look to you. She didn’t move, she just froze and you did too. There was an awkward gap in the chorus until one of your band mates took over for you.

You still played your guitar, but your mouth didn’t move. You just watched her, and she watched you. Just staring at each other, her soft brown eyes looking back at you.

“Hold you tight straight through the daylight

I'm right here, when you gonna realize

That I'm your cure?

Heartbreak girl,”

“Hey,” Your band mate, Sam said, briefly stopping playing the guitar to tap on your shoulder. “You good? Ashley took over.”

You pulled out of your comatose-like state for a moment. “She came,” You said, and they had an “ah ha” moment.

You had a second more, before the next verse started, and she whispered something to you. “Plan B? Do you want to do it?”

“I bite my tongue

But I wanna scream out

You could be with me now

But I end up telling you what you wanna hear,”

You nodded as you jumped back in, harmonies forming for the first few words, as Ashley, who had covered for you, stopped singing. You just focused on Carrie, but you could hear Sam moving around the stage to let everyone know the plan.

You had time before everything went into action, so you just soaked in the lights, and the screams, and the adrenaline as you sang.

“But you're not ready

And it's so frustrating

He treats you so bad and I'm so good to you, it's not fair

And when the phone call finally ends

You say "I'll call you tomorrow at 10"

And I'm stuck in the friend zone again and again,”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, before dance rehearsal,” Carrie said, after dumping all of her relationship problems on you.

You didn’t know what to say. She just called you, vented all of her problems, thanked you, hung up, and promised to call again. It was an endless, vicious cycle. And you didn't know how to break it.

“Yeah. Love you,” You muttered as you hung up the phone, tossing it across your bed. It clattered against a textbook softly, and a second later your phone lit up with a text.

You scrambled across the bed, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she was apologizing. But it wasn’t even from her. It was your mom, asking if you could pick up some food from the store. It took a lot of effort to not scream.

“I dedicate this song to you

The one who never sees the truth

That I can take away you hurt

Heartbreak girl,”

Carrie saw the movement on the stage, and it unfroze her for a moment. Your band mates moving onstage, with a plan.

She could see the happiness in your eyes, and the pain, as you sang. But there was too much movement on the stage, and she knew something was about to happen. You jumped into the second half of the chorus like nothing was happening.

“Hold you tight straight through the daylight

I'm right here, when you gonna realize

That I'm your cure?

Heartbreak girl,”

Someone came up behind you, attaching a hands free mic to your head. There was some more shuffling behind you, and your guitar was now attached to what looked like a second mic pack in the back pocket of your jeans.

You looked over to Ashley, trying to convey the most “which way do I go” look, and she nodded to a set of stairs you hadn't noticed before. You smiled at her, and then you took a deep breath. You’d never done this before, no one ever does this.

“I know someday it's gonna happen

And you'll finally forget the day you met him

Sometimes I'm so close to confession

I gotta get it through your head

That you belong with me instead,”

The crowd parted as you walked through, like a school of fish, as you got closer and closer to Carrie. She started to back up a little bit when she realized what you were doing, but when she saw the look in your eyes, she stopped, and stood still.

Standing in the middle of the arena, all eyes on you as you sang.

It was just you playing. Just you singing. Raw emotion, and it took you back to writing the song.

~

“What are you working on?” Carrie asked, jumping on your bed.

You closed your notebook, “Uh just a song. Why are you here?” You said, changing the conversion to her. As far as you could remember, you didn't plan anything for this week.

“It’s Friday…” She said, and your brain clicked.

“The movies! Oh my god, I am so so sorry, can we go now?” You said, scrambling around your room, grabbing your jacket and your phone. “I’m ready now.” You looked at her, hope in your eyes that you could fix this situation that you messed up.

“Y/N/N, it’s 2 am.”

You were confused. “2? No, the last time I checked it was 10..” You picked up your phone, and Carrie was right. “Shit.” You looked up to her. “Ice cream?”

She grinned. “Ice cream.”

“I dedicate this song to you

The one who never sees the truth

That I can take away you hurt

Heartbreak girl,”

They were small, but she could see the tears coming down your face. The pain behind your eyes. She wished she could take it all back. Go back to the beginning and do it right this time.

But she knew she had messed up. That she couldn’t fix it this time. Fix the mess she made.

The salty tears that came down her face matched the ones on yours.

“Hold you tight straight through the daylight

I'm right here, when you gonna realize

That I'm your cure

Heartbreak girl,”

You looked back to the stage and your band mates nodded to you.

~

“Is this about Carrie?” Kye asked, as you finished playing a bare, acoustic version of Heartbreak Girl.

“No…” But the look in your eyes told the otherwise.

Ashley shouted it victory. “Yes! Pay up Sammy, that’s 20 bucks you owe me.” She danced around a bit, before Sam handed her $20 and she sat down.

“I’m sorry- you all bet on me?”

They looked at each other. “No- definitely not…”

“Why would we ever do that?

~

You slowed the song down on this loop of the chorus. Your band mates slowly faded out, until it was just you.

“I dedicate this song to you

The one who never sees the truth

That I can take away you hurt

Heartbreak girl,”

You walked back up to the stage, just singing a capella now, the guitar at your side long forgotten.

“Hold you tight straight through the daylight

I'm right here, when you gonna realize

That I'm your cure?

Heartbreak girl.”

~

Hope you liked it! Send me an ask or fill out this google form to be added to my tag list(s)!

JATP: @n0wornever @calamitykaty @screwunsaidemily @crybabyddl @badwolf00593 @dream-a-little-bigger-x

[zrtranscripts]

Home Front, Mission 12: Fight For Your Right To… Work Out!

Clash of the Marauders

~

PETER LYNNE: Well, hello there, runners. It's me here, Peter, and my trusty sidekick, Mr. Fox. Miss Fox? Actually, not sure. There really isn't much sexual dimorphism in foxes. Um, let's just go with... Foxy the Fox. Great. So uh, Foxy and I, well, we're still locked in the Princess Louise theater projection box. We're playing films to keep the zoms in the auditorium occupied while we eat, sleep, and of course, work out.

That's right, runners, it's time for some more exercise! So... Oh! If you fancy spicing up your workout with some weight, we've found that tin cans are brilliant. Uh, now would be the time to grab those. Marvelous. Right, now time to start warming up. Do a nice little dance, jog on the spot, jumping jacks, whatever you fancy. Start to stretch it out, feel it to the extremities.

Oh uh, by the way, great news. So Sam helped me fix the looping playlist, so Foxy, the zoms, and I are now watching Clash of the Marauders! It's the video game adaptation, yes. [sighs] Listeners of a certain vintage might remember picking their fighter from the pixelated lineup at the arcade.

See, I could never decide on my favorite. Everyone else had one, um, but should I go with Ninja Vampire? Pirate Queen? Werewolf Scientist? Mutant Rhinoceros? Yeah, in the game, they then fought each other in these crazy arenas that tied into their backstory. So you'd have to fight Pirate Queen on her galleon and Werewolf Scientist in his lab on the moon. That's right.

The film... ah, it makes a valiant effort to tie the stories together, but no one would accuse it of being great cinema. Didn't matter to me much when I was nine, though. God, I really, really loved it. I mean, to a kid who's just stuck in the suburbs, it made the world feel really big and just amazing and weird, like one day somehow I'd be able to experience something more. And yes, of course that might involve having to brawl with an evil squirrel the size of a T-Rex, but at the time that seemed like a very reasonable price to pay.

Anyway, one thing everyone can agree on is that Clash of the Marauders has a superlative soundtrack, so I'm going to run the music through the comms. Let's just dance, or throw some fighting shapes, either way, as we enjoy our title song.

~

PETER LYNNE: So contrary to what those opening credits suggest, violence actually isn't always the answer. I mean, fair. Historically, violence against zombies has often been the answer, but if like me, you are heavily outnumbered, then staying inside is an even better answer. But just because we're inside, well, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy a good workout.

So we're going to start with our old favorite, the hooks, which you'll remember from our Rocky workout. You see, this bit of Clash of the Marauders where the alien pugilist avenges her sister is - and I've always thought this - quite like Rocky, actually. Except instead of the Philadelphia meat packing district, well, I mean, of course, it's set in a forest of sentient mushrooms.

Uh, first off, right, get back into your classic boxing stance. So stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent. Now step your right foot back a little. Hold your fists up with your right hand close to your body and the left hand in front protecting your face from that imaginary target. Now we're swinging our right fist across the body in that horizontal arc. Do not forget to shift your weight to your left foot as you do it and follow through with the right shoulder. It's the whole body thing. Imagine this nice big thwadoompf! as your fist collides with the side of that invisible specter.

Oh, uh, the alien pugilist is fighting the um, scheming toadstools that killed her sister. So in honor of her, imagine giving those nasty fungi what for. And if you want to make it more challenging, by all means, hold those weights whilst you punch. Right, okay. We're going to do 30 seconds of hooks on the right and then – warning - we're going to switch to the left.

Ready? Three, two, one, punch! Oh, it's lovely form. You have been practicing, my word. 15 seconds down, runners. Now remember, you're swinging the punch across your body in the shape of a hook. Now that's 30 seconds. So it is time - and I apologize - to switch stance so that your right leg is forwards and we're moving to be swinging our hooks from the left. Your 30 seconds on the other side start, ready? Now.

There we go. I'm not gonna lie, it's not quite as smooth, but keep on punching, runners. You show those filthy toadstools whose boss. Beautiful. Oh, nice work! Those mushrooms truly are mush, or at least uh, the ones on screen are. The alien pugilist, by the way, has just been recruited to the marauders, so it's time for her to teleport to earth and time for us to take a music break. So you can keep swinging those hooks if you're in the zone, or just have a bop to this next song. Do enjoy.

~

PETER LYNNE: Ah, Foxy, my boy. Girl. I don't know. When I was a kid, you see, I-I used to get absolutely livid when people mocked Clash of the Marauders. I mean, you know what it's like when you really just love something, it's yours. Someone criticizing it, well, that feels like a personal insult. But yes, as an adult, I will grant you the film has a few faults.

Like the fact that it spends so much time establishing the characters’ backstories, none of them actually meet until the middle of the film. I mean, the first half, it feels like 10 different movies. One set on a mushroom planet, one's on a galleon, one's in the jungle, one's on the moon. The current situation feels a bit like we're all the heroes of different films. It should be the same, but no matter how far apart we are, at the very least we're... we're doing these exercises, we're doing something together.

Us and good old Teenage Warlock, whose evil mentor, by the way, has imprisoned him inside a cursed mountain. So how tough is your life? Young Warlock has to contort his body into the most ridiculous shapes in order to cast his spells because he... actually, I don't know why, but for some reason, Teenage Warlock can only bend the bars of his cage by putting his feet behind his head. Don't worry, runners, we're not gonna do that one today.

Instead, why don't we do some forward lunges? Teenage Warlock uses these to manifest a bridge over the lake of lava keeping him from freedom, but we're probably just going to use them to work our legs, hips, and core. But I'm not ruling it out. If any of you want to cross the lava, you can.

So stand with your feet together and your back straight. Now take one step forward, keeping your knees and feet pointing straight ahead. You lower your back knee so that it almost but doesn't quite touch the ground. Make sure your front knee doesn't extend beyond your toes and your center of gravity is above the hips. Now raise back up. Nice. Now switch legs, do it on the other side. Lovely. So for a little more challenge should you need it, no pressure, hold those weights whilst we go.

So we're going to do 60 seconds of lunges, starting three, two, one, now! And there we go. 15 seconds down. Remember to keep the core engaged and the back straight. Imagine you're a pencil with legs. You're working them, but everything from the hips up, rod straight. And you're halfway there, and that's just like Teenage Warlock being halfway across the lava lake. So just 15 seconds to go, runners. Keep it up! There we are, you can see the finish line, and we've done it once again.

Oh, and by the way, that is just in time for Teenage Warlock's theme song. Oh, love it. Cast some imaginary spells with your dance moves or just keep on lunging. Either way, I'm going to enjoy myself.

~

PETER LYNNE: So how are the weights working out? Honestly, if you're not using them, don't worry, it doesn't matter. Just curious, and it's more important to listen to what your body needs and do the exercise that's going to make it feel best. You know, if you happen to be shut away with someone - maybe it's, just hypothetical, a small fluffy someone who insists on staring at you with their big yellow eyes whilst you work out - just remember that no one else's opinion matters. Oh! Uh, sorry. [laughs] This is time for the Marauders’ big training montage now, so obviously we've got to join in with them, and so we're going to do some crunches.

So if you've got a yoga mat or a towel to hand, perfect. Lay that out now. If you don't, don't worry. But you want it lain out and then lie down with your back on top of it. Totally fine if you don't have one, just a bonus. Right, so your feet should be flat on the ground with the knees pointing up towards the ceiling, then you want to raise your hands so that they're just resting near but not on your ears. Great. So then lift the torso slightly off the floor, but you're using your abs. Don't curve. You keep your neck and back straight as if they're one solid block. Don't try to lift the torso too high, there's no point. Focus on control, that's the point. And keep your core engaged, that's what it's for.

To make it easier if you need, extend your arms out in front of you when you lift up. If you want to make it harder, grab those weights, keep your arms up high. But if you do so, make sure that you are being very careful to protect the back by keeping your core firmly engaged.

Right, we're going to do 60 seconds of crunches, and that's going to start now! Beautiful! Oh, I could watch this all day, if only I could watch this. Beautiful. You've crunched your way through 15 seconds, runners, just like I've crunched my way through 15 hot dogs this week. And yes, I've cooked them badly. Halfway there. Remember to lift with your abs, never with the back. Almost there, only 15 seconds to go. Keep on going. I'm doing it with you. You don't know if that's true, but I'm telling you it is. And we are done! Marvelous. Now if you're up to it, why not keep on crunching straight through this music break?

~

PETER LYNNE: Oh, Foxy. I've always been into my fitness, but even I catch myself watching Clash of the Marauders and I feel a little bit wistful that I'll probably never be able to bench press a monster truck. Still, that kind of thinking leaves me less motivated, not more, and that's no good. If you are struggling with motivation, the first thing to remember is that you have already made the effort to work out, so you're already doing an amazing job. That's the hardest part!

The second thing is you can actually get a buzz from improving, regardless of what fitness level you start from. It's just... okay, perfect example. Take a look at Mutant Rhinoceros. I mean, he starts out pretty down on himself after the accident with the gene splicer, but he takes things day by day, learns what he can do with his new body, and in the end, it's his horn spin that saves the day.

So with that in mind, our last big exercise is one that can be tough when you first try it, but it's so very rewarding as you improve. It's the horn spin! Joking, it’s wall sits. Right, get ready. Stand a little over a foot away from a wall with your back facing it. Then carefully lean back against the wall until your back's flat against it. It's fine to use your arms to guide you, not a problem.

Now you may need to do a little bit of adjusting here. You want your thighs and calves at a 90 degree angle with your thighs parallel to the ground. However, if that's too much, no problem, don't worry. Move your feet close the wall and your knees will then be at a more gentle angle. Now we're going to hold that for 60 seconds, or as close as you can get, starting from now!

See, it's so comfortable. How could this be an exercise? It's hardly any effort at all. You've made it to 15 seconds. Uh-oh, the burn’s beginning. Now you're starting to feel it. Oh, there's a reason we're doing this. Halfway through. Keep your back, head, and buttocks straight flat against the wall. You can do it. You've got to keep a straight line, otherwise the whole game falls apart. It's like a house of cards, but made of you. Right, almost there, runners. Just 15 seconds left. Don't just feel the burn, embrace the burn, love the burn, be the burn. And we're done!

I tell you what, you have certainly earned a dance break to this next song, but if you happen to be feeling as tough as a mutant rhinoceros, well, you just keep on propping up that wall.

~

PETER LYNNE: Oh yes, here we go. See, the Marauders are gearing up for the final clash. You see, what I love about this part - aside from the amazing music, obviously - but it's how it shows the Marauders make a great team because they all play to their different strengths. Yes, the Pirate Queen has a cutlass, but Tiger Witch’s moves, they're all claw-based, and then Flame Dancer!

Oh, Flame Dancer is my favorite. He's just, I know, he's just got so much flair, you know? He just casts these arcs of flame with this perfectly timed hip swivel. Um, I mean, also it is refreshing to have an explicitly bi character in a video game adaptation. [mockingly] "Oh my God, I can't imagine someone who likes fighting evil and dancing and boys and girls."

You know, every single one of the Marauders’ unique fighting styles are ultimately needed to take down Rex Farringdon. He's the monomaniacal billionaire who's hellbent on repopulating the world with clones of himself. So for our final music break, I would love you to dance in your own unique way as the Marauders, too, fight for their right to be themselves.

~

PETER LYNNE: Oh, what moves, runners! My word. And congratulations, you are just in time for all of the Marauders to come together as they send Rex Farringdon and his clones all the way to the mushroom planet. [sighs] You know, Clash of the Marauders really is just by far one of the best video game adaptation movies. Even Foxy seemed to like it, and Foxy has some very strong opinions about films. You should see what they did to the carpet during Cats III.

Oh, this is so nice. This is the scene where the whole cast walks off into the sunset together. Apparently, they were genuinely good friends as well. Oh, I suppose it's going to be a while before all of us runners are able to actually be together, run again. I mean sure, well, I've got someone to watch films with now, but it would be really nice to see the rest of you. For one thing, you all don't express affection by leaving bits of chewed-up hot dog on my chair. Yes, I appreciate the thought, Foxy.

You know, if like me, you get lonely sometimes, it's just human. You might find it helpful to remember that at the very least, by staying safe and keeping not just physically but mentally healthy and caring for yourself, you are doing your part to help everyone rebuild when the time comes. Anyway, until next time runners, this is me and Foxy, signing off.

~

[glitterblazercalum]

got a river for a soul, and baby, you’re a boat

or:  Oh, fuck. We showed up wearing matching couples’ costumes to this party by accident and now everyone thinks we’re together.” + cashton

hello and happy halloween everyone!! giant thank u to ainslee @ashesonthefloor for putting this event together!! and for forcing me to actually get this fic done, looking it over, and generally being a major source of serotonin in my life. another huge thank u to bella @clumsyclifford for being one of my favorite people and loving frat boys enough that it made me want to write a fic about them to annoy her <3 love you both <3 

here is the link to the event masterpost bc I highly recommend checking out all of the other amazing fics: 

https://ashesonthefloor.tumblr.com/post/633534107120549888/hello-welcome-to-my-halloween-fic-event

warnings: mentions of alcohol

word count: 2,872

without further ado, please enjoy the fic I wrote mostly all last night while looping drag me down for thirteen hours straight :))

Calum doesn’t know what fuckhead came up with the idea of having a joint Halloween party for Sigma Nu and Sigma Pi this year, but he really wants to fight them. He thinks he’d probably have a lot of people on his side, considering how much Sig Nu and and Sig Pi hate each other, so he tucks the idea of interfraternity war away in his head as a contingency plan in case the party goes to shit, as joint parties with any other frat always seem to. And it’s not like it’s a one night thing, because all three days of the “Halloweekend,” as Michael refuses to stop calling it, are supposedly going to be spent with Sig Nu, one party at their own house, and two at the shithole that he assumes is the Sig Nu house, in some deranged attempt at bonding. He’ll be lucky to make it out alive, probably. 

Before college, he really never did anything of his own for Halloween, mainly used to being used as a prop or side character for his sister Mali-Koa’s elaborate costumes, or, after she’d moved out, sticking a pair of fake fangs in his mouth to hand out candy to the few kids who rang the doorbell despite his efforts to keep all the lights in the house off. Last year, as a freshman, he’d gotten roped into a group costume with some of the other Sig Pi pledges, and while his memories are...hazy at best, he vaguely remembers falling asleep in a Teletubbies onesie at the end of the night. 

This year, though, no one has tried to tell him what to dress up as, so it’s now a few hours before the first of the three parties, and Calum still has no ideas for what he should dress up as. A quick Google search for “cheap easy costumes” hadn’t really been all that helpful, so he decides to ignore the problem and take a nap until he actually has to leave. 

A few hours later, Michael barges into the room to drag him out of bed, and looks around for a few seconds before asking, “You don’t have a costume, do you?”

Calum groans, pulling himself out of bed and wracking his brain for an idea that he can plausibly bullshit in the next few seconds, because he can’t let Michael be right and have something to tease him about, so he blurts, “I’m going to be a salt shaker.” 

Michael gapes at him a bit for a few seconds before asking, “What the fuck? What kind of costume is that? What are you even going to wear for that?” 

Calum mentally kicks himself in the shin, as hard as possible, because he really hasn’t thought this through. Why couldn’t he have just said cat or cowboy or something even slightly in the realm of normal Halloween costumes? 

“Uhhh.. y’know that baseball tee I have? The one with the black sleeves and white middle?” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s in my closet, but continue.” 

“What the fuck, dude? Give it back!” 

“You haven’t noticed that it’s missing for like three weeks, I just assumed it was mine now. Tell me what the rest of the costume is,” Michael demands. 

“I’ll just tape a piece of paper with a big ‘S’ on it to the front of my shirt, and then put one of those pots with the holes on my head. Bam! Salt shaker!” Calum says, moderately impressed with his ability to pull stuff out of his ass this quickly. 

“What makes you think we even have a colander?” Michael asks, crossing his arms. 

Calum gives him a blank stare. “A what?” 

“That’s what the pots with the holes are called, you idiot.” 

“You think Harry would live anywhere that didn’t have a fully-stocked kitchen? There’s bound to be one in one of the cabinets or something.” 

“Fine. I’ll go get the shirt while you look for the colander.” Before Calum can object, suggest that he look through Michael’s closet himself and steal back any of his other clothes that have somehow wound up there, Michael’s already halfway down the hallway. 

Sighing, he trudges down the stairs towards the kitchen, where one of the seniors, Niall, is sitting with his head in his hands, dressed as a pirate. 

“Hey, dude, nice costume,” Calum offers as a greeting. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find a colander, would you? I know Harry—” 

“Do not talk to me about Harry right now,” Niall says, and Calum stops his search for a moment to send him a concerned look.

“What happ—” 

“That needy-ass motherfucker thinks that just because I didn’t want to do a couples’ costume with him, it means I don’t love him anymore! Never mind the fact that he literally mentioned this idea to me yesterday, well past the point where everyone finalizes their costumes.” 

Calum offers him a sympathetic look and offers, “Couples’ costumes are boring and cheesy anyways. Neither of you are missing out on anything, at least in my opinion.”

Niall lifts his head up from where he’d been repeatedly hitting it on the table to smirk at Calum and ask, “Have a lot of experience with couples’ costumes, do you?” 

Luckily, Calum has finally found the colander, so he opts to ignore the question and just leave the kitchen entirely. 

When he gets back upstairs, Michael’s in his room, unabashedly checking himself out in the mirror that’s on the back of the closet door. “Yeah, yeah, your anime character of the year looks great, now get out and let me get ready.” 

Michael scoffs, “Get ready, as if you’re even doing anything,” but moves towards the door anyway. 

Michael’s right, the costume is ridiculously easy to throw together, and two minutes later, they’re both out the door, walking across Fraternity Row to get to the Sig Nu house, where the music is already blaring and strobe lights throw red, then green, then blue shadows across everyone’s faces. On his way to the kitchen to grab a drink, he sees Niall and Harry walk into the house, holding hands and laughing together, so he assumes that their fight has blown over as quickly as all of their other fights always seem to.

He sees a few different trays of shots and decides he might as well take one to get the night started off right. After, he realizes that he probably shouldn’t grab a beer now, Mali’s rule about sticking to one color of booze for the night ringing in his head, so he settles for filling up a Solo cup with whatever glow in the dark gin concoction is in all the punch bowls. He wouldn’t put it past the Sig Nus to poison the drink on purpose, but it tastes relatively normal, so he grabs another cup for Michael and attempts to leave the kitchen, steering around the couple sloppily making out in the doorway. 

It’s harder to spot Michael than it usually is, considering that at least half the people at the party are wearing some type of wig, but Calum eventually makes his way back over to him. He’s talking to Niall and Harry, and they both offer him a smile before continuing on with the conversation. Once that reaches a lull, Niall leans closer to Calum and says, “Mate, you didn’t need to lie to me about couples’ costumes.” 

Calum has no idea what Niall is talking about, so he shakes his head and asks, “What are you talking about?” 

Niall cackles, and Harry turns to look at him adoringly before going back to talking to Michael, and Calum is more confused than ever. Niall grabs his shoulder and spins him around and points in the direction of a clump of people. “You’re salt and he’s pepper, right? That’s such an obvious couples’ costume, although you two do seem to have a bit of a disconnect on how much effort you put in. That guy really went all out. And dude, why haven’t you told us that you have a boyfriend? You know we’d want to know about that, give him the Sig Pi seal of approval and all that. Wait. Unless he’s a Sig Nu, in which case, I don’t want to know because I’d probably have to kick you out. That’s a joke, by the way.” 

Calum barely has the presence of mind to mumble, “He’s not my boyfriend,” before crossing the room to get to the guy in the hyper-realistic pepper grinder costume. 

The guy smiles as Calum approaches, and despite the costume covering most of his body, Calum can tell that he’s cute. “Why so salty?” Pepper Guy greets, the sunshiney smile still on his face. 

Calum smirks and replies, “Maybe I just need some more spice in my life.” Pepper Guy laughs, and just like everything else about him, it’s cute, and Calum wants to hear it again. “I’m Calum, by the way.”

“Ashton. Nice to meet you, man.” 

Calum leans a little closer so that it’s easier to hold a conversation over the loud music and asks, “What’s the deal with the super realistic pepper grinder costume?” 

Ashton makes a strange noise, somewhere between a laugh and a groan, and says, “I got it off some random sketchy website, but it was supposed to be a chess piece. Something clearly went wrong somewhere in production, and my friend Luke said that I might as well sharpie a “P” onto it and just go with it.” 

Calum makes a noise of agreement, mind stuck on a dumb idea. Before he can reconsider, he sends Michael a quick text that says if u’ve already taken over as dj, can u play that come grind w me song? and a few seconds later, he hears the opening notes and grins. 

“Hey, Ashton?” 

“Yeah?” Ashton replies, as realization slips across his face.

Right in time with the singer’s voice, Calum says, “Come grind with me,” and he laughingly pulls Ashton towards the makeshift dance floor. Neither of them can really dance, so it’s a mess of laughter and limbs flopping around, but Calum feels an unmistakable electricity between them too, and once the song is over, they stay for the next few, enraptured by each other. When they finally exhaust themselves with all the laughing and mock-twerking, Ashton asks Calum if he wants a refill, and when Calum nods, he grabs his hand and starts pulling him towards the kitchen. 

Once they’re there, Calum goes for another serving of the glow in the dark punch, which is steadily dimming as the glow sticks run out of light. Since that’s really the only light source in the kitchen, Calum doesn’t see Ashton until he’s turning around and Ashton is right in front of him, reaching around him for a cup. Calum’s kind of trapped with his back against the counter, Ashton’s pepper grinder costume tall enough to really block out the view of the rest of the party, and the world narrows, all of it contained in where their eyes connect, and then, after Calum has safely set his drink back on the counter, that narrow point expands just a bit to where their mouths land on each other’s. The colander gets knocked off Calum’s head as he lifts himself up to sit on the counter, wrapping his legs around Ashton’s waist to pull him closer, as close as he can possibly get him. 

Ashton’s sucking a mark into Calum’s neck when Calum has his first coherent thought of the past few minutes and pulls back, breathlessly asking “Wait, wait, you’re not a Sig Nu, are you?” fully expecting the answer to be no.

Ashton steps back a little too, and it takes him a second to register the question before he groans, “Of course you’re a fucking Sig Pi, that’s the only explanation that makes sense for me never seeing you anywhere before. You’re too hot for me to not notice otherwise.” 

Calum flushes and mentally curses out whatever idiots had started the rivalry between Sig Nu and Sig Pi before he grabs his stupid colander off the ground and gives Ashton an awkward wave goodbye.  

Once he’s out of the kitchen, he quickly glances around in search of Michael, and when he can’t immediately find him, he just gives up and leaves entirely. Fuck Sig Nu. 

He spends most of the next day bitching about his hangover, and then, a few hours later, bitching about his hangover while helping to set up the house for that night’s party. 

He doesn’t really have much more of a costume for tonight, throwing on a gray shirt and sharpie-ing some whiskers on his face. Michael takes pity on him and makes him a headband with an approximation of what they both think mouse ears are, and Calum is mildly entertained by going up to everyone and saying, “I’m a mouse, duh.” 

His heart’s really not in the right place to party tonight, which is probably breaking the cardinal rule of being in a frat, so he sticks close to Michael, who has taken over the role of DJ, once again. Zayn from Alpha Sig strolls over after about half an hour, devil horns askew, and quietly says to Calum, “Cat and mouse, huh? Didn’t think you had it in you, Hood, that’s proper cute. Not as cute as me and Lou, mind you, but still, I respect the effort.” 

Calum is reluctant to look up and see who he’s accidentally matching with today, because, with his luck, it’s probably another guy from Sig Nu. When he does eventually look up, he immediately makes eye contact with Ashton, who happens to be walking by, dressed in all black and with whiskers sharpie’d onto his face too. Calum wants to bang his head into a wall because the universe clearly hates him if it’s having him match with Ashton again. Even beyond that, Ashton looks so good out of the stupid pepper grinder and in all black that Calum wants to make out with him again. 

Ashton is clearly having similar thoughts when he gestures Calum over and leads them towards a little pocket of quiet space in one of the lesser used hallways. 

Calum really wants to hook his thumb into one of Ashton’s belt loops, so he does, as Ashton looks him up and down a few times. “Is the mouse costume your way of telling me you want me to chase you?” 

Calum murmurs, “Shut up,” before leaning in to kiss him, frat rivalry be damned. It’s just as good as it was the night before, maybe even more so, now that the pepper costume isn’t in their way. At this point, there’s no denying the chemistry. It can’t be blamed on being drunk since Calum’s been nursing the same beer all night, and the part of his brain that’s protesting against being this close to a Sig Nu is getting smaller and smaller as he and Ashton continue to kiss. 

They stay in that hallway for the rest of the night, eventually sliding down to sit on the ground, legs pressed together, sharing stupid stories about their respective frats. Calum’s surprised when the music shuts off because it feels like it’s only been an hour at most, that’s how easy it is to talk to Ashton. Ashton heaves himself up and reaches both hands down to help Calum up, too. 

“I don’t think there’s any way you can match your costume to mine tomorrow, but I’ll come find you anyways,” Ashton says, as he leaves Calum with a kiss on the cheek. 

Calum’s too wired to sleep much, so he opts to help clean up the house instead, and that takes up enough of his day that when nighttime rolls around, he’s stood staring at his closet without a costume idea for the third time in as many days. After ten minutes of consideration, he digs through one of his drawers to pull out the fake vampire fangs that he had somehow remembered to bring with him, and he goes down the hall to ask Jack to put some fake blood on his mouth and neck. Jack always goes all out for Halloween. 

Once he’s at the party, he doesn’t have to wait long to find Ashton, who looks incredibly good in his werewolf costume. There’s fake blood on him too, which is really the only way their costumes could be understood to be matching, or so Calum thinks. Tonight, Jack and Alex are the ones to tease him, “You know what, I agree. Jacob and Edward should have ended up together, Bella was boring as shit.” 

Calum’s really not bothered by the comments at all, so much so that he’s already thinking of couples’ costumes ideas for next year when he finds his way over to Ashton and whispers, “Let’s get out of here.” 

“Are you trying to make a move on me? I’m a respectable Sigma Nu, I don’t know if I can allow that.” 

 Calum laughs and tugs him out the door, “Told you I wanted some more spice in my life.” 

[20thcentury-kylo]

Tides Of Memory

(prologue)

Well here it is- sorry this has taken me so long, I'm not really the best artist n such but here is The prologue chapter to Tides Of Memory 

                                                          Enjoy~ 

Sometimes.... he still dreams of their words... 

"Just breathe- it'll all be fine🎶" 

Delicate melodies offset by somber guitar strums... The lyrics plague his memory, repeating in endless loops. Strangely enough he feels something similar in his current state. 

Alas the boy assumes that's all they are- bizarre, sorrowful dreams. 

Xx

To Kiome, Ebisu is the closest thing he has to a home. The smiles of his rosé haired boyfriend made him feel more at home, than any foster family could. Ebisu was his tether, the source of the light in his eyes- He was without a doubt the love of Kiome's life. Even more so now as gazes up at the aspiring musician, listening to the slow harmony of the boy's soft tones... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door, and waited for you to enter~" He knows to cherish these moments, etch them deep within his heart to captivate him forever... Ebisu with his eyes closed absently guiding his hand from note to note, sings the soft tune. The song which he curiously named San Diego, is one of goodbyes, and wistful memories. Yet he plays it in such a way that one cannot help but to have hope, it's a feeling Kiome understands all too well. 

"I bought you a crimson rose, smelled just like you did~" The feeling washes over him in a soft murmur, and the boy decides that he should do something about the space between them. Face to face, heart to heart- his lips utter nothing but his eyes speak a thousand ballads in a silent attempt to intertwine his soul even further with his beloved. A slightly shaken hand reaches to cradle the musician's cheek, the subsequent blush from Ebisu spurring him on further. Their lips meet in a soft meld, fluttering beats pulling one another closer. And amidst the safe stillness of that lamp lit bedroom- he feels... they both feel- complete. 

--- 

"Daring- I love you🎶~" 

Learning of his power, and his true destiny.. Kiome almost lost it all. The fear of losing what little he had in froze him- What if he couldn't win, what if he couldn't protect them all. Such worries cloud his mind, there is no confidence in the subtle whispers of his newly acquired sword. But of course not, they do not hold the voice of his beloved. So as the swordsman sits paled in moonlight, he thinks of nothing but their voice. 

"If only we could fly across the nether~" A subtle smile of relief finds its way onto Kiome's expression. He scoots over, making room for Ebisu to sit with him. 

"Hey... how are ya holdin up?" The question forces a sigh from his lips... they're trembling. 

"I won't lie- I'm... scared out of my mind right now.." Ebisu reaches for his hand, and Kiome can feel the tremors in his soul calm at the contact. Gradually all the doubts he'd been suppressing float to the surface and out through his stuttered words. 

"I-I just- don't wanna forget you, wherever I end up." They're on borrowed time, and he can hear each Jarring tick pass them by. Stray tears escape the poor boy's eyes, he's trying to stay strong, if not for himself then for Ebisu. His own depressing thoughts are cut short by the warm embrace of his partner. 

"I Promise- You won't!!" It's a declaration that could pierce the heavens, Kiome notices that he's started to tear up as well yet says nothing.

Ebisu pulls back- flush faced yet Smiling nonetheless. His breaths are shaking, and his words flitter out sporadically, but Kiome knows- he knows and he couldn't be more thankful. 

"No matter what happens to us- to our memories..." He's suddenly quiet, his features holding a wistful hope. Kiome can't help but awe at how beautiful he is. 

"No matter what- every song I've written, every note, every memory... they'll be right here- etched in my heart.." Ebisu gazes at him with a look that peers straight into his core, he means this... And the embrace that follows is almost too poetic for words. 

"Ditto~" Kiome swears on this life, and every past life he's apparently had- he'd never forget this for as long as his existence still burned. 

--- 

The 1st thing that comes to him is the overwhelming burning stench as he looks upon the scene before him. They'd come for him. This was it- nowhere for Kiome to run. He steels himself with thoughts of his beloved, gripping his sword tighter. 

"Darling~ I love you🎶~" 

Ebisu was safe.. he'd made sure of that before ever considering this fated clash. If he survived this... he just might have to marry the ocean eyed musician. It gives him the will to move forward- When he survived this, he was definitely marrying him. The voices whispering from within his sword hum in agreement, giving him the confidence he needs to charge into danger. He couldn't die here- not when he had someone to live for. 

-- 

The beast's endless roars are all but deaf to him. Kiome stands, eyes burning bright. This is it- do or die... His sword rests firmly in his grasp- his strength does not waver, even for a moment. Each step is another reminder of what he's fighting for- each strike he bears the shock in stride, like hell was he gonna fall here... 

His body may betray his intentions- writhing with bloodied bruises and aching muscles.. But his heart can't give up now- his very soul screams out in defiance. The exception before him seems to hear this cry- as it stumbles back before giving a scream of its own. 

And as he braces himself to fight on.. the words echo ever so clearly in his head 

'Darling- I love you~" 

-- 

"Kiome!! Please... stay with me-" He can't feel his body anymore... 

Ebisu sits there- cradling the dying body of his beloved- blood covered, and practically torn to pieces... his eyes won't open. 

"Kiome!!" Ebisu's presence is the only thing keeping him from letting go completely... He wants to see his face.. To tell him not to weep for the foolish.. 

"I'm here.." Opening his eyes sends surges of blinding pain through his retinas.. but the moment that pink hair and rosy cheeks come into view- such pain is all but forgotten. He can't hear the exception anymore- guess he must've won. Then again... at what cost. 

"Why so sad.." Ebisu won't stop crying- and the sight of it brings tears to his own eyes. Suddenly the reality that he probably won't survive this  hits him all at once, and it's only through sheer exhaustion that he doesn't break down weeping then and there. Instead he sighs with a shaky breath, and gazes into his beloved's eyes for what he thinks to be the last time... 

"My time here is running short🎶" Ebisu's expression shifts, before he graces the dying boy with a tearful smile... 

"Your kisses were my ambrosia🎶"Ebisu leans down and lays a soft kiss onto Kiome's forehead- Kiome can feel a tear drop ever so slowly... 

"They melted into my skin🎶" A soft light begins to emerge from Kiome's core. This... was the end. He doesn't take his eyes off Ebisu for a moment- he'd burn the image of his beautiful face into his heart.. so he'd never forget.. 

"Darling... I love you" 

Xx 

The subtle morning light peaks through the dorm windows- rousing it's residents from slumber. He opens his eyes to find that they're wet with tears... 

'Again huh-'Kiome has had the same dream for the 3rd time this week. Of places he's never been, of people he's never met... of love he's never felt. But they're just dreams- he muses to himself. They meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet as he prepares for the day- eating his breakfast that Shiro so graciously prepared and brushing his teeth before heading to class- a strangely familiar tune remains stuck in his head... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door🎶~"He wonders where he could've heard it...

-PROLOGUE END-

Once again im really sorry for this taking so long- anywho i hope you enjoyed, i plan to update this semi frequently with a few drawings to complement each chapter (ReBlogs and Comments Are very much appreciated I wanna hear what you guys think uwu)

~Till Next Chapter~