#this tag kept me thinking for hours
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ok, originally I wanted to leave it at that, but.... TW: death, implied suicide & kind of suicidal ideation.
Stanley remembered dying. It had hurt about as much as he’d expected, though, there had also been this sense of finality cursing through him. He’d take his brother’s book and take it to the grave.
“The first worthwhile thing in his life…”
So, needless to say the fact that Stanley was waking up was quite alarming. He tried to move his body, but it all felt floaty. It was hard to grasp.
He tried to open his eyes, but even as he tried the world remained dark. He tried to shout, and no sound could be heard.
Stanley started to panic. What was going on? He could… he could hear? Sounds from nearby? But it all seemed wrong. There was a wrongness to the way this information was processed.
“Stanley? STANLEY!” was this a shout of triumph?
But there wasn’t much Stanley could do, he was left feeling like he was everywhere and nowhere at once. He couldn’t even see or feel anything.
“Please, there’s no need to be agitated. It’s all going perfectly well.”
Wait… was that Ford’s voice? He tried again to say something, but still – nothing happened.
“I don’t understand what you were thinking, Lee.” was what he could… infer from whatever was happening around him. “Crashing your car like this! You could have died.”
...Well… he should have died. He had… he had died, hadn’t he?
“But as if I’d let you leave like that”. Was that a laugh? What was going on with his brother. “I managed to capture what was left of you and you’re now safe.”
Safe?
“I don’t know how long it’ll take to actually get you into a body. But for now, you’ll simply remain in this container, I know you can hear me, so you won’t be too lonely in here.”
Ok, so his brother was a crazy scientist, and magician that was playing with the souls of the deceased. Stanley would actually like to leave.
He was still left in this void, he couldn’t feel, couldn’t taste, and yet he could hear his brother’s inquisitive humming.
“Trust me, Stanley. You’ll be fine.”
The void had no way to actually count the hours, but Stanley knew that he’s been left here for too long. There was nothing other than thinking left to him. He wondered where Ford went. How many days had past. Why Ford would only sparingly talk to him.
He remembered a day where Ford had talked at him; had brought up all of Stanley’s dirty laundry without giving him a chance to explain himself. Ford mentioned the cartel, the drugs, the consequences that homelessness must have had on Stanley.
And all throughout… one thing started to change. Ford stopped talking about Stan’s future vessel. There was no talk about the body, about how his brother was trying to ensure that the transfer of… whatever Stanley now was… would go smoothly.
And the more time passed, the more the thing that was the remains of Stanley grew agitated. And the more agitated he grew, the more Stanford would start to berate Stanley.
Stanley should be grateful that Ford was doing his best. Stanley should have known that crashing the car would not work. Stanley should have known that Ford just cared so much about him. Clearly, there should have been a better solution.
He didn’t know how much time had past. He was both restless and also resigned, because the void didn’t give him anything. It was hard to remember having had a body. To remember what taste and touch had felt like. He only had his brother’s company.
The thing in the void was growing tired, as it waited for Ford to arrive and interrupt the nothingness of existence. Ford was the only thing that he had left. Ford would help him.
Which was why Ford’s next words had been worse than anything that he’d said before.
“You know, I had been so frustrated months ago, when I realised that I necromancy was more complicated than I had initially assumed. However, having seen so much of your past – I have to say, maybe this was simply luck in disguise. Because like this… like this you’re safe. Like this nothing could ever hurt you. And you’ll always have me by your side. Maybe I could consider creating something that’ll let you talk, but with all the other work at the Institute piling up… we’ll just have to see.”
The thing in the void couldn’t really react. There was nothing it, or he, could do. Whatever Ford wanted would happen - and Ford wanted to keep it/him safe at all cost.
Stanley remembered dying in a car crash. He wasn’t sure if it had hurt, he hoped it did. He hoped he could feel it again. Stanley Pines died months ago in a car crash. Stanford Pines claims to have revived shortly after. However, the thing left in a place of nothingness, bereft of any sort of stimulation with the exception of one voice, does not consider this a worthy life. It yearns for freedom and something other than his brother, but at least the emotional pain could remind him that he had once been more than nothing. He once thought death would be final. Surrounded by the void, and kept somewhere safe; Now, he mourns his naivete.
Oh the urge to write a dark-ish psychological horror set in "A Better World" from Stan's POV is so strong.
#gravity falls#a better world au#a real quick drabble take on it while still working out the actual wip#this tag kept me thinking for hours#so many ways Stan POV could work (in a dead Stan ABW) and they're all horrible
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swan lake x valkyrie
#enstars#my art#ensemble stars#fanart#shu itsuki#mika kagehira#shumika#HEHEHE hi i havent done tag rambling in a while#but this was a piece for hourly shumika's fairytale collab!#my group decided on swan lake so this is the scene in which prince siegfried is deceived and swears his love to odile instead of odette#i sat drawing for so many hours in a row bc i wanted it to feel just right 😭 i hope i was able to capture the moment well#i wanted odette and odile to both be mika because i found out that the two roles are often played by the same dancer#and i thought that was a REALLY REALLY cool concept i could try and portray here.. also note which eye colors are visible on each#gosh.... odiles outfit is based on mikas fs1 with the ribcage i love the ribcage i think mika should have another ribcage outfit#IDK WHY I WAS SO SHY TO POST THIS HERE LIKE I KEPT PUSHING IT BACK BUT its here now YAAY#hehehe anyway i think thats all i wanted to say.. i hope u guys see my vision..#let me know what u think!!#ok thats all byebye :3
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#SEVERANCE: boy it's not that complicated 🙄
#barely survived making this one actually#this shit took it out of me i lowkey lost all feelings for the show and started hating milchick fr but i was also listening to snippets of#this song on repeat for 48 hours and then the 10mg dexamphetamine / 3 cans of pepsi max / period cramps kept me up til 2am#so the haunting is baked right into this one#shoutout to all the parallels i painstakingly picked out i hope you enjoy them all equally#except the irving head one i think thats the best actually#severnace#seth milchick#tramell tillman#fancam#fan edit#my edit#sabrina carpenter#good graces#short n sweet#Haha yeah right#adam scott#mark scout#helly r#helena eagan#britt lower#dont mind me using the fuck out of these tags cuz for my sanity i need this shit to hit#irving b#john turturro#ben stiller#ted lasso
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In Stars and Time AMV - Break Stuff
(Inspired by break stuff hoodwinked amv by @/girl-debord)
Song: Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit
In Stars and Time gameplay footage from Carrot Helper, START AGAIN: A Prologue gameplay footage from Shienh
#in stars and time#isat#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#siffrin isat#isat siffrin#dont think ill tag the others they dont appear much#siren crafts#help me i started this uhhh a month or two ago?#and kept putting it off cause having to manually screen record is annoying#as well as going through hours long isat playthroughs#but then something happened and i did the last 30 seconds all today lmao#shoutout to kaun biocrafthero for some ideas hehe
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A Reunion
yuusha tala x jamil viper (oc x canon) word count: 800+ words cw: n/a??? i guess??? pure fluff jumpscare. notes: takes place post-nrc, several years after graduation, both of them haven't kept in touch in all those years, inspired by this lmao.
Jamil Viper.
That was him alright. Right there. Standing straight and proud with an air of confidence. At least that's what it appeared to be. He always knew how to fool people.
But Yuusha had learned how to see through his disguise.
She had to admit, he'd changed — at least on the surface, mostly. But she still recognized him to be the same as ever. Jamil still kept his hair long — styled in intricate braids and decorated with golden accessories.
Oh, how she wanted to run her hands along those silky tresses again, hearing the soft bells ring that were tied in his hair.
And then he turned.
Shit.
The eye contact.
And Yuusha was entranced all over again, falling into the soft darkness of his eyes.
She was quite sure no magic was at play. Not this time.
The girl felt her breath hitch in her throat, her feet heavy and frozen in place, and her arms stuck to her sides. She couldn't move.
But she wanted to run. Run.
That's what she was good at anyway. It seemed like she also hadn't changed.
Would she run towards him or in the opposite direction of where he was?
Admittedly, the latter felt more tempting.
It didn't help that he decided to make the first move. Jamil walked with a strut in his step. He'd look so sure of himself if it weren't for the expression on his face betraying it.
Again, Yuusha could see past his disguise.
Run away. Just run. He doesn't deserve you.
Jamil stopped in front of her as if he was just meeting someone casually. Although looking at him, his face was plastered with so many emotions—guilt, sadness… relief?
He was the first to speak.
"Yuu, I—"
As if compelled by a powerful force, Yuusha pushed herself into his arms the moment his voice reached her ears. She let out a shaky breath as if she had been holding it in this entire time.
Jamil stood there momentarily stunned. He had expected a slap, a punch, some kind of verbal abuse, or simply just a pained look on her face that would guilt him to hell and back.
He didn't expect…
This.
Yuusha didn't expect to fold this way either. All her feelings of anger, bitterness, and resignation throughout the years dissipated as soon as she buried her face in his shoulder.
She missed him. She missed him so much.
There was a heaviness in her heart that was lifted. A heaviness she didn't even realize she had been carrying.
Jamil's arms awkwardly floated around her sides, not knowing what to do with them. When she embraced him tighter, he finally felt his disposition crumble against his will.
His arms snaked around Yuusha like a whiplash, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he squeezed his eyes shut. He'd gotten taller since then. It was funny seeing their height difference now, although Yuusha was still fairly taller than the average girl.
Jamil thought this to himself as if to try to distract himself from tears forming in his eyes.
He hated to admit it, but he missed this just as much. He missed her embrace. He missed her presence.
But Jamil had no room to talk because he had caused this anyway. He was the one who had denied himself these feelings.
They didn't know how much time had passed until they decided to finally, regrettably, pull apart. Both of their faces were visibly flushed.
Yuusha sniffled with a teasing smile on her face. "It's been a while, vice housewarden."
"You can't call me that anymore… prefect," Jamil quipped back.
Yuusha let out a genuine laugh.
He missed that too — their banter. The sound of her voice, her laugh, the way her eyes flickered with mischief, and how her lips quirked up with childlike joy.
It was as if all those years without each other were nothing but a blink in the grand scheme of things.
Jamil didn't want to lose this again. Not anymore. He'd make sure of it this time.
#[—✦-#(<- havent used this tag in forever i think)#twst oc x canon#jamil x yuu#(💜) yuusha tala#(💜) curry noodles#postnrc💜#-✦—]#2 hours for barely 1k words??? im WEAK#writing is so hard and scary how do you guys do this#i temporarily unrusted my writing just to let it rust again#bc watch me not write again for 43284 more years#it's also hard for me to reread old writing bc HGSLKD#idk </3#anyways im lowkey imagining jamil has actually kept up what yuu had been doing this entire time#he hasnt forgotten ever#(✧) my writing
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:/
#tw pet death#dreamt that he started breathing again at the end of my bed#and it sounded like how he was breathing as he died#and because i was dreaming i couldnt move. even in the dream#so i couldnt get him out#tried to shout for help but i couldnt speak#that was a lot#he's still on my bed in a patch of sun#half an hour until we leave to give him to the vets#i read a kids book when i was probably too young about a girl who kept her dead cat's body in her wardrobe#i think it was jacqueline wilson?? probably djbfjfj#that was a little child in the book#but guess what i want to do now at age 22 lmao#i thought it would be easier once he was gone because i wouldn't need to stay with him 24/7#but turns out i actually do! and ive got maybe an hour left of being able to do that#...... and im blogging FJBFJDNDJ#not that i look at follower count but i saw it yesterday and i'm shocked nobody has unfollowed because of all this#i'm so sorry#i don't want to say any of this to my family because it would upset them#and my friends are already hearing enough#my mum is saying she wishes she could see him. which will break me at some point#but right now i have no strength left to try to orchestrate that#and ask my dad to let her#maybe that's selfish but i did everything i could so she could have a day with him#and also invited her here when my dad was out#he probably knows because he has cameras#but if he does hes done a great job of not acting angry with me#im so exhausted i cant be begging him to let her see his body#i will feel guilty about not doing that#reached tag limit lmaooo thanks for listening but i hope nobody reads this despite publically posting it
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i want the parts of your hand-grenade heart that beat slowly with anger and fear
#comments and tags about my art n what u think are very very welcome and make me very very happy! talk to meeee!!!#fantasy ocs#sigh#reuven#elf oc#dnd inspired#fantasy oc#yew art#art#digital art#HI. IM BACK ON MY ADHD MEDICATION AND HAVING A DECENT PAIN DAY SO I SPENT A FEW HOURS DRAWING THIS!#i listened to the linked song on loop the whole time while drawing And i am still listening to it on loop right now#the line i put the link in is what inspired this whole drawing. i was listening to the song and i heard that line#and the faces and palm kiss popped into my mind SO VIVIDLY#i think i did a pretty good job with this one#its the most detail ive put into a drawing in like. a solid 6 months. medical shit just kept happening and happening#so i wasnt drawing much if at all#BUT!!! pain is sloooowly improving since the spine breaking and then surgery#very slow recovery for spine injuries unfortunately. not to mention id already injured the same place in my spine#and needed surgery for that too...#but!!! im recovering. im slooowly regaining strength (i can walk short distances without my rollator now!!!!)#and getting arm and hand control back too! its coming back pretty fast but i still rest it often and do stretches#but!!! yeah thats my life lately#im SO glad to be back on my adhd med now tho omfg i feel like an actual person again its so wonderful#i can finally get back to my passion... drawing elves being gay.#sigh is bigender though so like... gaystraight? /joke im bigender myself and its Never straight#this is a long enough tag ramble. enjoy my characters and my first detailed and colored sketch ive done in a long time#OH AND ALSO. feel free to send. requests and questions and prompts About My Ocs. i LOVE talking about them#it always boosts my mental health and makes me feel good when people care about my ocs#sigh/reuven
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Coming in to play! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Webkinz hours! The cute lads have wedged their way back to the forefront of my mind haha#I'm honestly really glad I kept all my Webkinz plush over time and they've survived all the moves and whatnot#Some are still missing - most notably my horses for some reason - but I have the rest onhand and they're still cute and soft and I love them#Getting the opportunity to name and play with them as a young'un made them stick quite strongly in my mind ♪#And I still find some of my design sensibilities with their roots in the gameplay/game design/UI design/interactivity#I think it inspired some of my Video Game Design brain which is an aspect of myself I'm quite happy with :D#And I /love/ plushies probably now more than ever <3 So I'm doubly glad younger me didn't get rid of them haha#Got my lineup that featured in Tala's Requestober this year ♥ I left out a couple for what are probably obvious reasons ahem ahem#If you haven't seen what the Official design of the clownfish is in Webkinz... The plushy is arguably worse lol why that one of all of them#Hire me to design Webkinz fish I dare you#There are actually several cute fish - and several ugly ones! Lol I don't know why they're so inconsistent#It's not like the differences between Signature and Classic! Most of the fish are Classic or eStore! I don't know what gives lol#Anyway lol the other one I left out was my Night Mare since I couldn't remember his name either - which is a shame! I liked him#I still have some fairly clear memories of playing Webkinz with those lads <3 Of the different rooms and relationships and games#It's nostalgic! It's nice to reminisce on something so cheery and cute and light and fluffy :)#As for the rest hehe - I tend to pick up 'kinz whenever I find them at secondhand shops and the like - much like Lalaloopsies#They're out of production! Harder to find - rare and valuable haha totally#I haven't found any New With Tags so far but I'm on the hunt still!! Someday it'll be my turn...#But I Have found some really adorable fellows for cents on the dollar haha <3 Two Blue Whales and a Sheep and Duck!! So cute#My latest find was a Lil'kinz Lioness Cub and she is - So tiny <3 Really adorably constructed with a fluffy nose ahhh ♪#The Long Eared Bunny is my current Free 'kinz! I unfortunately lost the account with Baaby so I had to start over again but that's alright#This time I've got Embroidery and she's in a closet cosplay of Edgar haha - black-and-grey striped shirt with dark pants and round glasses#And angel wings! I was able to snag those from the Ganz website and they're perfect honestly haha ♥ She won an Open Beauty Pageant with it!#Couple of her with Sugar - my first Webkinz I got to play with since Diamond's tag was thrown away :') Sugar's my oldest 'kinz <3#And of her with smol's Free 'kinz since I convinced her to play with me off and on haha - her Leonberger named Borgus :D#And then one final one of what I'd really like - a Webkinz Spider ;;♥ I /know/ they've made spider objects that are really cute!#And April Fools' fake pets of a spider!! Give me the fluffy spider please Ganz even if there's no plushie I just need to pet the spider
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I MADE ART FOR ATE ALIBI <3 + mini comic of my social anxiety 👍 (@questionablealibi )
aoughh, I panic when I talk to cool ppl... (Usually end up panicking and staying silent lmao) BUT I sorta like how both this and the art work came out. (Also forgive me if I got the back hair wrong ;-;)
Mahal kita ate Alibi <3 /p
+ Ate Birdy (birdify) on their shoulder lmao
I love your Sona so much, it looks so cool and AGHH- Even though I'm not the best at drawing it and I struggled immensely, it's gorgeous. <3
#sona tag#my sona#others sonas#persona art#EEE ALIBI'S SO COOL ATAGFSGSVW#i love their sona so much#and their art UWAAA#AOUGH#ATE ALIBI <3#Birdy and i were freaking out while i was drawing#ehehe lob sona#IT LOOKS SO COOL#AND LIKE#AAAAAHHHHHH WORDS#its a nightmare for me to draw tho#I KEPT FORGETTING STUFF WHILE I WAS DRAWING AND IT TOOK ME 2 WHOLE EXTRA HOURS TO GET DONE#AAAGHHHH#BUT I THINK IT TURNED OUT ALRIGHT#and heres to hoping i didnt forget anything#houghh#i hope you like it ateee#fanart#cool person#my social anxiety goes brrrrr#i fear talking to cool ppl...#i panic... quickly....
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Prompt: Fictober Day 1: "That was good work."
Fandom: Lumine
Summary: Camille and Kody have a brief conversation.
Content Warnings: N/A
Words: 1,249
Camille watched a series of bottles shift between Kody’s hands; once the green liquid from one vial had been drained into another, thicker, clear substance, Kody would reach for another, his expression not changing past the subtle twice of his nose as the scents mingled. The green itself spread and fell slowly, as if he had just dropped liquid food dye into watery corn syrup.
“Don’t hesitate,” Camille reminded him, her palm pressed to her cheek. “If you do, it’s going to end up tasting acidic.”
Kody huffed in response, his hands lingering over another tube held in a small wooden rack. “Don’t distract me.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Because you’re distracting me.”
A quiet hum of acknowledgment mingled with amusement caught behind Camille’s now-closed lips as she watched him continue, now more focused than before as he slowly poured half of the liquid in with the mixture.
“What, you’re not gonna get onto me for using too much or too little?” As he spoke, Kody’s bitter gaze flickered up long enough to glance at the other. He slowly reached out for the stirring stick, eyes stuck on Camille as he pulled it closer. “Or you’re not gonna tell me to be careful about how I stir it?”
“Nope, not yet. I’m just waiting and watching now.” Camille smiled a bit, watching as he stirred slowly, almost meticulously. His focus had seemed to double after he grew quiet. “What happened to me not distracting you?”
“If I’m just complaining about you, then I’m not getting distracted. But if you’re interrupting me, then I’m gonna lose focus. How long does this even need to be stirred?”
“Didn’t you read the note I left you?”
“I can’t read Terranian yet, and you left it in Terranian.”
Camille could feel her smile break as he reminded her—though, the only actual change on her expression was a subtle twitch of her lips. Her brain went blank, the only word crossing her mind for a moment being ‘shit’ as she stared at the boy now working silently across from her.
That’s right, you and Sera couldn’t talk at all when you first met her.
“How did you follow the instructions up until now?”
“Eyeballed it. I made something similar before, so, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Plus, it’s not like I even asked you to actually write instructions down for me—I just asked if you had the ingredients.”
“Given how Lumine has talked about how you make your potions… That’s not really reassuring.”
“I knew what I was doing then, too.”
“Did you?”
Kody grew quiet, pulling the stick out as he transferred the syrup-consistency potion into another glass bottle and seal it.
“I didn’t know how it was actually going to react with him, but I knew it wouldn’t kill him. I knew what I put in it, and that nothing in it would mix badly together to be that bad.”
“M-hm. At least there’s that, I guess.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
Feels like there should be a ‘usually’ there, Camille said silently, watching Kody put the vial aside and seal the remaining ingredients. You’ve got a long way to go, but. That doesn’t mean you haven’t studied hard already.
“I’ll clean everything up, too. So. Don’t worry about me making things more of a mess than they already are.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it before I go out today.” Camille waved her hand, watching as Kody pushed himself up. He gathered the emptied and now-dirtied dishes and tools and took them towards the small kitchen. “If you’re going to try and clean up anyway, just drop them off in the sink that’s not by the fridge. It’s the one that’s for anything that isn’t a fruit or vegetable. Potions, meat, whatever.”
“Alright.” Kody did as she instructed, now without any complaint or push-back, and then sat back down across from her. He picked the potion’s bottle back up and held it up to the light, his eyes flickering back and forth through the liquid that almost matched his eye color as he inspected it. “Is it really safe to wash potion bottles next to where you prep meat, though?”
“I mean, nothing I work with in here is toxic. And if it is, then the bottle just gets disposed of.” Camille shrugged, watching him closely. He seemed, at the very least, pleased with the mixture’s consistency and color. “So, what made you want to make something for pain? Everything okay?”
“You’ve been complaining about headaches a lot lately, and clearly, you’re not going to do anything about it yourself.”
Camille felt her smile shatter once again, her lips now fully turning into a frown. “You really noticed that, huh?”
“Lumine did, too. He actually overheard you mention it first.”
“Sera?”
“You actually don’t say anything about it around her, I don’t know if you’re just like. Worried about worrying her or something, but. You don’t even really say it to us, you just kind of say it to yourself and keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.”
Camille dragged her hand down her face as she leaned harder into the back of her chair. “Aghhh. I didn’t even notice.”
“Yeah, well. It’s getting on my nerves, so try this. It’s cool enough now.” He held the bottle out to her, their green eyes meeting as her attention redirected back towards him.
Getting on your nerves? Is that just your way of saying you worry, in this case? Camille hid her smile, eyes meeting his for a brief moment.
She took the bottle from his hands, much smaller than her own, the glass still subtly warm—partially from the mixture, partially from his own hands. “So, you actually sat down and made this for me?”
“Hopefully it’s not too acidic from you distracting me.”
Judging by his half-smirk, it was less of a concern, and more of a facetious comment. Something to poke and prod at her.
She couldn’t help but smile a bit more, seeing how confident he was. How sure he was that, even though she distracted him so much by talking to him, it would still be alright. Even if he silently struggled with it on most days, she always tried to take the moments that he was so sure of himself in good spirits.
“Ha. Even if it was, I’ve definitely had worse than something that’s a little bit acidic. I’ve probably had coffee worse than it, honestly.” She opened it, sniffed, and hen downed it as quickly as possible. If it was actually acidic, she would—hopefully—not even notice. If anything, it would likely feel no worse than mild heartburn—and at worse, severe heartburn.
“Well, was it?”
She waited for a moment, expecting an aftertaste of… Something. Bitterness. Something akin to bile. An incorrect texture from overmixing, adding one ingredient too soon, overheating it, letting it get too cool during the cooking process rather than letting it cool after, something.
But it was no different from what she would have made herself for a patient. Slightly sweet, a bit sticky—it would definitely feel better if she had chased it down with warm water or something else. But it was, actually, up to her standards.
“Not at all, actually.” She said, twisting the neck of the bottle in her fingers. “That was good work, Kody.”
“Yeah? Told you I knew what I was doing. Hope it helps, it’ll probably take a little bit, but.”
#fictober24#Lumine#Lumine webcomic#Lumine webtoon#Lumine (webcomic)#Lumine (webtoon)#my fanfics#not on ao3#Last year tumblr kept like. Rearranging my paragraphs. If it did it this time I'll just start biting I think?#Well. Not even just last year. Every time past then.#Anyways hiii happy fictober my favorite writing event is back <3#Wow I think tumblr actually kept my formatting. My italics are still here. That's a surprise.#In the past it Never kept my italics.#I don't think that Kody would want to like... Actually go into potion making in the end past learning to make a few things#I think he really would want to like. Go for a bakery or patisserie. You know?#I think he would learn how to make a few things--injuries pain convenience (Kody please don't make a five hour energy potion...)#I do think that Camille would help him learn how to make these things though. And then ''...... So why do you want a five hour energy.''#And he would just shrug ''Long night baking?''#And she would just frown. So hard. And then teach him anyway and tell him not to overdo it/use it often.#I like the idea of Camille and Sera being like. Good 'mom'' figures for him? Or at the least Camille being a good mentor figure for him.#He needs a few Not Fucking Awful adult women in his life after the way his mother treated him. Good grief.#Also I do headcanon Camille and Sera as like. Exes. They're just ex-girlfriends getting back together to me. Probably marriage eventually.#Also I have specific headcanons about Camille and Sera that I'm gonna start nudging into fanfics in small tiny ways.#If you can pinpoint those things. Good job. I'm delighted.#Anyways I'm gonna stop rambling about where I think Kody would end up in like. Ten years.#Idk why I rambled so much in the tags today good grief. I'm just a little chatty.
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literally sick of the passage of time like what is she on abt
#🎸.txt#i ltirelly dont remember what my text tag is i dont think i ever kept it consistent#doesnt matter. ur telling me its an hour later than the hour it was an hour ago ??? ? !?! what the fuck
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is there anyone else out there who has so much respect for people who make insane, out-there aus/ships that are so far from canon that all of the content for it is supplied by their own mind and if yes do yall see ME as one of those people
#sorry i’m so high and i just realized that when people who haven’t been following me the whole time see my tags they feel like they’ve#accidentally walked into the middle of a novel and they’re missing ALL of the context#if that makes any sense#like since i’ve made javieran as a ship i have been brainstorming and building them and their dynamic up VIA POSTS HERE and so those who#have been following me for a while have the full context and we’re on the same page. as i post more and more about them i post about them in#situations where you NEED the full prior established context to understand literally anything that’s happening#like i can’t post content that isn’t basically a continuation of everything else ive ever said. for some reason i cannot make anything that#can be perceived out of context. i think i just said the same thing 10 times. but j guess that also makes sense as to why when new people#find my account 9/10 times they will go and scroll through every post LMFQO they’re like “’i know what happens to them months in but i need#to know how it starts !!! i’m INVESTED !!!!!!!’ LMFAO wow i’m actually insane#thank you to anyone who follows me and has kept up with the lore. i don’t think anyone who actively interacts with me now has been around#since i MADE the ship in 2018/2019 but there are a few who followed me almost immediately after i came back last year (earlier this year(?))#shoutout oizy pete and moss my goats#i wouldn’t consider myself a creative person by any means but idk. like i used to be but i feel like ive lost it but maybe im just insecure#anyway. i’ll probably delete this later but i was just thinking. it’s very rare that i will be allowed to post things that are outside of my#‘brand’ because for some reason i always have to be a brand when im posting. or anywhere. but when i get really high i turn into a human#being#weird. anyway. i’m going to go play cowboy game now.#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero talks about himself for 40 hours#i think that was my ramble tag. i can never remember.
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Got bored, made this based on my mood/things I like?,,
Not a wip, just unfinished. Will not be finished.
Tbh idk, I just got bored, made a sketch and said it looked fine lol
#my art#oc#idk im not gonna tag the art tags because i dont want this to be spread.. its just an unfinished sketch#im bored.. this kept me occupied for an hour but aaaaa im bored again#also. i drew this while thinking “damn i wanna dress like that”.. so yeah#bored afffffff
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slowly making my way through more moobies this year...
#i made a poll last year asking everyone to vote on what i should watch next and i am finally getting there#the beauty is that tho were running out of time theres always time to do things still. if that makes sense#hitting up trans allegory movie next. then stupid clown horror palette cleanser. then the beauty of art and not staying holed up in room#then then um. <- quickly checking list#uhhhh other stuff. what the fuck ever i can minimize on screen while i draw and feel touched by at the same time#moon talks#for some reason lately ive been very anxious to do things with other ppl#i dnt exactly wanna sit or talk or game or watch things together rn. cant tell if its overstimulation isolation or grief#maybe they are all fighting each other#but either way... kinda miss watching movies and shows w ppl also i just. really dont want to. right now anyways#need to be mister solo#we will be getting mini introspective posts from me eventually during dead hours. bcuz i like to talk abt things that make me think#i think its nice to look back at first impressions/thoughts. maybe ill rewatch it one more time through a reaction vid who knows#and tumblr is always a nice little format for that. nothing can ever beat tags here im sorry#my public diary or something#im a little stubborn also i suppose. i saw when this first came out many ppl were like do not eat while watching this its disgusting#and i went hmmm i think i still will tho im hungry#nothing wrong if u cant eat during scenes such as those in the film also i totally get it.#but the only thing that can keep me away from eating is simply forgetting to.#and i nvr throw up unless i have food poisoning. so i sat there and ate my meal np for a good quarter of it#(minor spoilers i suppose)#or maybe im too used to certain imagery atp in time? i flinched a little more at the needles and nail part honestly. even if i kept staring
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sometimes you have a shitty day but there are things that make it easier to keep going like:
- being silly with basically strangers
- hugs when you really need them
- quiet 3 am phone calls with people you really love
#idk. it's been such a hard couple weeks for me honestly#i've had to adjust to back 2 back changes over and over again. and i also feel guilty for a couple different reasons all at the same time#couple that with 0 free time and no money? and bills? woooff#today in particular was really hard because i went to bed so late (it was worth it) but in turn i got up later#had to hurry to my appointment which meant i didn't eat anything besides a yogurt. which is better than nothing#but then i had to get my blood drawn. twice. and was sooooo worried about the time bc i had work after. i almost fell asleep in the lobby bc#i was so tired. also i almost couldn't afford my appointment and almost had a heart attack. then i rushed to work and my boss made me drive#30 minutes back to my house to change my pants (pants i'd worn like 5 times before) because they had a TINY rip in them. i mean like 2 inch#there was 1 rip. girl. anyways i had to leave in front of all my coworkers AFTER JUST RUSHING THERE and i felt even MORE guilty bc i alr#leave and hour early for school WHICH ALSO doesn't help. me financially.#anyways then i had to email my prof that i'll be late bc work Needed me longer today. n just#christ. i was so fucking stressed#SO stressed#but i'm in bed now and#i was thinking about all the kids at work who gave me a hug today. like i always get hugs but today i Needed one. so it felt different#and in my lab today me and these total strangers were laughing like a pack of sleep deprived hyenas bc we kept makin silly jokes while#diagnosing a car and doing circuit work.#and i thought about how i talked with myself today even though i was in a rush i still made the time to journal for a bit#how my best friend sounded last night. how they'd drop everything no questions asked#how even though it feels like you've got no one in the moment you turn and suddenly someone's there#sometimes it's hard to see. it's blurry in our peripherals while we move through our days but. you sit at the end of it all#i like remembering all that.#sap says#txt#feel free to add in the tags btw
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Friendships are so complicated why do I feel so unloved by my friends sometimes
#I'll leave it at that bc I've been trying to write about it in a post for the last hour and kept deleting it bc it's so complicated#basically i felt unloved by them on my bday but then i realized we've grown apart which is fine#(and i actually felt really loved by my immediate family on my bday which was really nice)#but also i think I'm allowed to say i felt that way. even though it's a little petty IDK I'm ovulating and it's 1am#me: I'm not gonna elaborate! me in the tags: AND ANOTHER THING#also also also okay bye goodnight i feel like i could talk in the tags all day about it
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