#this was SO MUCH SETUP for me to deliver these two lines but oh well i was inspired

[blindmagdalena]

Hi! I’ve recently fallen into a homelander rabbit hole and your blog has quickly become one of my favorites so if you’re asking for prompts, I’ll deliver! What about ❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜ or ❛ his dark eyes took me in, and i wondered what they would look like if he fell in love. ❜

Keep up the awesome writing!!

For months, you're proud to say that you've been a particularly prickly thorn in Homelander's side. With the rise of what Vought has patent-pending branded as "super villains," you prefer to think of yourself as a "medium villain." When you escaped from Sage Grove Center, you didn't have any spectacular plans for world domination. In fact, you couldn't give less of a fuck about this world. You've been experimented on, tortured, ridiculed, and now... You're free, and you have power. Unfortunately, you're also a loose end that Vought, and by extension, the Homelander, needs tied off.

AO3 Link.

[tobiasdrake]

Team Star Base #4: Ortega

Here we are at the Fighting Type Team Star base with a randomly selected team of Pokemon trained to level 50. It's time to launch our attack! ...why does this person out front have a Level 54 Pokemon?

...

*google google*

Oh. Okay. I'm at the wrong base. Great. Fantastic!

*one reload and a whole bunch of training later*

Here we are at the Fairy Type Team Star base with a different randomly selected team of Pokemon trained to level 50. (The previous team has been set aside to be trained to level 54 for the next siege.)

So, here's the team we have for this assault.

Dugtrio (Sand Veil) w/ Smooth Rock - Earthquake, Night Slash, Stealth Rock, Sandstorm. I'm not going to be able to do the crazy spikenanigans that ruined Grusha's entire day, but I figure Stealth Rock might still be good. Dugtrio has two jobs: Set up Stealth Rock, and be hard to hit while delivering some moderate Earthquake damage.

Torkoal (Drought) w/ Heat Rock - Heat Wave, Earthquake, Body Press, Iron Defense. Torkoal will follow Dugtrio and clean up the Sandstorm with his own weather shenanigans. His resistance to Fairy and Sun-boosted Fire attacks should be fairly strong, even if the Body Press/Iron Defense combo isn't helpful here.

Farigiraf (Armor Tail) w/ Light Clay - Psychic, Hyper Voice, Light Screen, Thunder Wave. Decent, not great. Some damage options, with Thunder Wave for sabotage and Light Screen to help cripple Special attackers.

Polteageist (Cursed Body) w/ Leftovers - Hex, Giga Drain, Strength Sap, Will-O-Wisp. I'm feeling pretty good about this one. I think they've got a strong sabotage build with some decent recovery options.

Drednaw (Strong Jaw) w/ Rocky Helmet - Liquidation, Poison Jab, Rain Dance, Rock Polish. Wish I had some good bitey moves. Pretty basic. Not a lot going on here.

Goodra (Sap Sipper) w/ Damp Rock - Dragon Pulse, Thunder, Aqua Tail, Rain Dance. Pseudo-legend stats, but Goodra's at a distinct disadvantage due to his typing. I don't see him lasting long in the ring.

Overall, I'm not feeling fantastic about this team. I think we've got too much brute force and not enough shenanigans. We're fairly Type-neutral; no Steel or Poison Types to give us an edge, but we have a Dragon weakness and a Fire resistance.

Torkoal and Polteageist are the two I feel best about. For the Star Barrage, I think I'm going to lead with those two and Dugtrio. But before that, Ortega's... butler? Teacher? Father figure? ...wants to battle.

Harrington Pokemon #1: Morgrem

Oh look, I'm being patronized by someone who brings unevolved Pokemon to a high level battle again. Checking my Pokedex, Morgrem is a Dark/Fairy with only okay PHY ATK and Speed, and those are his best stats.

And Harrington only has two Pokemon. Honestly, not even worth setting up the Stealth Rock. For the setup round, Morgrem uses Nasty Plot and Dugtrio fires up the Sandstorm to boost her evasion.

Dugtrio then wastes Morgrem with an Earthquake, taking Torment in the process.

Harrington Pokemon #2: Hattrem

Courtesy of Torment, Dugtrio can't use Earthquake this turn. That's fine. Hattrem's weak to Night Slash, and slow enough to give Dugtrio the Speed advantage.

Hattrem lives through the first hit and uses Calm Mind. But the Earthquake that follows ends this match.

It's Over!

Harrington warns me that Ortega's skills far surpass his own. Yeah, I sure hope so. Two juvenile Pokemon long overdue to evolve don't make for a very impressive showing. We're at level 50, my guy. I'm embarrassed for you.

Cassiopeia pops up to give me the 411. Ortega's the team mechanic, so I guess this is the guy who makes all the Starmobiles that ignore the rules of Pokemon battling. I'm going to bury him in a shallow grave.

Star Barrage

Star Barrage goes okay. Not great, not awful. Polteageist does well against the Gardevoir-line but is ill-suited for Wigglytuff-line and especially Grimmsnarl-line. Dugtrio and Torkoal have to stay far away from Azumarill-line, though, so it's a good thing Polteageist is here.

Ortega Pokemon #1: Azumarill

Of course Ortega is a pipsqueak. Adolescent mechanics are all the rage in media.

So, this opening match-up is already not good for me. She's probably going to swing in hard with a high-damage Water attack. Azumarill doesn't have very impressive stats, mind you. She has a combined base power of 420 (nice) and puts most of her points in her defenses and HP. But weakness is weakness.

I could switch to Torkoal. His Drought would weaken the impending Water strike and partially offset his Fire weakness. Or I could go for Goodra, who would resist the Water hit but then be left vulnerable to follow-up Fairy strikes. Goodra does have Thunder, but I don't know if he would get a turn to set up Rain Dance.

Hmm. I think I'm going to play this out. Dugtrio fires up the Sandstorm, boosting her Evasion. Azumarill hits her with Aqua Tail anyway for an instant KO.

Well, that didn't work out.

Ortega Pokemon #1: Azumarill, Round 2

This is risky, but it's Goodra's turn. Goodra spends a setup turn kicking up Rain Dance. Azumarill takes that time to debuff him with Charm. On the next turn, Goodra slams Thunder straight into Azumarill, but Azumarill survives with 10% HP. Azumarill, now Paralyzed, responds with Play Rough for a KO.

Ortega Pokemon #1: Azumarill, Round 3

This is going terribly, but we're almost through the first opponent. Let's bring Polteageist out.

Polteageist finishes the job with Giga Drain and we move right along.

Ortega Pokemon #2: Dachsbun

Oh wow, I'm glad I didn't field Torkoal. Dachsbun is a speedy Physical slugger with high PHY DEF and a gimmicky ability: He gets a PHY DEF boost when hit with a Fire attack. He would eat Torkoal alive.

Too bad for him, he's up against Polteageist. His Crunch knocks off 50% of Polteageist's HP, but Strength Sap puts it right back.

Ortega seems to be at a loss for ideas. Dachsbun trades the next Strength Sap for Baby-Doll Eyes. That's the best he's got.

Mmm. I'm not going to be able to use Will-O-Wisp to set up Hex, because of Well-Baked Body. With 3 PHY ATK debuffs, however, he's basically helpless.

Polteageist slugs it out with Giga Drain. Adding insult to injury, Cursed Body disables Dachsbun's Crunch. This proves to be a double-edged sword, as it forces him to fall back on Mud-Slap. However, while those two Mud-Slaps do trivial damage, the Accuracy reduction could cost us greatly.

Ortega Pokemon #3: Wigglytuff

I don't feel good about those Accuracy debuffs. Furthermore, Wigglytuff is built more for Special Attack than Physical. Polteageist's in top form, and I think we might want to shield them from further combat until the Starmobile enters play.

Also, Wigglytuff has a 50/50 chance of being Competitive, so debuffs are actually a bad idea. Wigglytuff is a very poor adversary for Polteageist. Let's get them out of here.

Anticipating an incoming Special Fairy attack, I think this is Torkoal's time in the sun. Torkoal hits the field and cranks up the sunbeams, cancelling Goodra's rain. Wigglytuff hits him with Play Rough, doing 14 damage. It's not very effective.

Torkoal is highly resistant to both Physical and Fairy attacks, but he's also the only member of this team slower than Wigglytuff. Wigglytuff lands Body Slam, paralyzing him and knocking him down to 70%, before Torkoal powers up with Iron Defense.

See. Do you want to know what I noticed? Wigglytuff's Normal Type cancels her resistance to Fighting. It's time for Body Press! Wigglytuff uses Charm to try and protect herself, but PHY ATK debuffs don't mean a thing to Body Press. Get crushed.

And by "get crushed", I mean in three turns. Because it takes two to bring her down, and Paralysis acts up in one of those. So Torkoal takes a couple more Body Slams, putting him at 45% before Wigglytuff gets crushed.

Ortega Pokemon #4: Ruchbah Starmobile

Here we go with this thing. It's pure Fairy so no more Body Presses. Torkoal's damaged, but the Sun is still high in the sky and he's got 200% PHY DEF. The Starmobile's Magical Torque does all of 6 damage, while Torkoal's Heat Wave hits for 25%.

The Starmobile tries Steel Roller, but Torkoal resists that too. The Starmobile flails and flails, but its attacks can only chip off 20% of Torkoal's HP over the 4 turns it takes to put this thing out of my misery.

It's over!

Man, that got off to a terrible start. Azumarill was way stronger than I anticipated given its stats. I was genuinely worried about what the rest of the team would look like.

Polteageist proved just as effective as I'd hoped. But what really took me by surprise was Torkoal swooping in for MVP. Not only did he find a use for Body Press, but he also ate that Starmobile alive. I've never had such a trivial Starmobile battle before.

(As an aside, I wonder if Cassiopeia's "supply rep" Penny might actually be Cassiopeia?)

[clairenatural]

destiel, 1k, more fluff :) for the anon who asked for "im a barista and you just ordered the most complicated and hideous drink and I wanna judge you but you're kinda cute"  

Dean hates working the morning shift.

It’s something he does, both because he loves his employees too much to do that to them and because he has a very specific morning setup he doesn’t trust anyone else with, but he doesn’t enjoy it. The morning shift starts with a rush of grumpy people in business suits, the kind to just snap “coffee” at him while already checking their emails, and sleepy students in pajamas who stare at him like he’s speaking gibberish when he asks what size they want.

The initial rush fades into the mid-morning, when he gets more people in suits, this time awake enough to be polite, and interns, who always seem half-panicked but at least remember to say “thank you.” This is the easy time, when most baristas would relax and take a deep breath as their shift dwindles to an end.

Not Dean, though. Dean stays on high alert all the way until 10:30 when, like clockwork, he walks into the doors of the café. And he might be the reason why Dean is refusing to give up his morning shift, even though he complains constantly, even though he knows Kevin is good enough to open all by himself.

His name is Castiel, but Dean shortened it to Cas on the coffee cup two weeks ago and he hasn’t complained yet. A large cup, that he fills with the medium amount of coffee, adds an unhealthy amount of half-and-half, and fills the gap with whipped cream.

The concoction has two pumps of vanilla syrup, one of hazelnut, and three of caramel. They got pumpkin spice in last week, and he’s been adding two scoops of that in ever since. It’s the same amount of liquid as a drip coffee but entirely espresso shots—although Castiel asks for so much milk in it that Dean’s not sure if the caffeine matters. He finishes it off with a hefty drizzle of strawberry syrup, of all things—and then Castiel coats the top in cinnamon before he heads back out.

It’s a monstrosity. It’s more sugar than coffee. It offends Dean to even call it coffee. And Castiel has ordered it every work day, at 10:30am, like clockwork. For the past month.

He’d hate to be this guy’s dentist.

The first time he’d ordered it had gone badly from the start. Dean had choked a bit as soon as he heard the guy start ordering, in the deepest voice he’d ever heard say the word caramel. He planned to recover, deliver his standard “do you want some coffee with that sugar,” line (because nobody orders something like that at an artisan coffee shop unless they’re prepared to be shamed), but he looked up into eyes so wide and blue and earnest that the snark died in his throat. “Sure, okay,” he’d said instead, and then made the monstrosity to the letter. Castiel had given him a lopsided smile when he handed him the coffee, and tipped it towards him in a ‘cheers’ motion before turning away, and that...that was it for him.

Really, he tells himself, he’s just trying to figure this guy out. He’s not put together enough to be a professional, but he’s too sure of himself to be an intern. He delivers the order, the whole thing in its entirety, in a deep tone that ranges from monotonous, to frazzled, to deeply exhausted. He watches Dean make the drink like the whipped cream is going to jump across the counter and bite him, but he takes the order every time with that same easy smile.

They exchange a total of 73 words a morning, 54 of those being the order itself. And yet, Dean waits, every day. And he’s never been more careful with a strawberry drizzle—because, he tells himself, if he’s attaching his name to it it’s gonna be perfect, even if it’s hideous.  

There’s just something about this guy that Dean can’t put his finger on—something buzzing just under his skin, urging him to get to know him better. It doesn’t help that he’s really cute, or that his eyes are blue enough Dean thinks he’d let them see into his soul, or that he’s pretty sure that smile has branded itself into his brain. There’s just something else. Strong enough that, and he’s loathe to admit it, even to himself, Dean is willing to overlook the coffee order.

He has a special cup this morning—he’s already prepared it, put it at the top of the stack so it won’t be suspicious when he pulls it off.

I’ll forgive you for your awful taste in coffee if you call me, it says, a hasty number scribbled underneath and his name below that.

If it works, he’ll learn more about this guy. If it doesn’t, well—Dean figures there’s plenty of places more suited to make the coffee disaster than his shop, anyway. They specialize in artisan beans best served black. The syrup is really for whiney teens, Instagram photos, and, apparently, Castiel.

They do their morning coffee ritual, Dean hands off the customized coffee cup to Cas, and the rest of his shift passes in a hazy blur. He doesn’t get a text back until he’s back in his apartment, already having reconciled never seeing the mystery man again.

He still lunges for his phone the moment it buzzes.

While my brother was flattered by your phone number, he thought it was probably meant for me. -Cas

Dean’s still staring at the first message, trying to decipher it, when another one comes in.

I appreciate you overlooking his awful taste in coffee. For the record, I take mine black.

He grins as it clicks into place, only feeling a little guilty at the flood of relief that accompanies it. He types back a message immediately.

Oh, thank God. Do you want to get some actually decent coffee sometime?

He gets an I’d like that :) back a few minutes later, complete with the smiley face, and he grins down at his phone for several long minutes.

Making the coffee catastrophe every morning might be just be worth it. 

[kokoinupi]

final thoughts on osomatsu-san s3, like a year late:

overall season 3 felt a lot less like osomatsu-san than the previous seasons, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing! it felt more real and human, which came at the expense of some wilder gags, but in my personal opinion as a legit fan was a nice direction for it to go. still funny as hell, but with more care and attention put on the boys as characters and as family.

there were so many good episodes along those lines too, like the mt. takai one was a big fave of mine... it just felt cute and homey and realistic and human. just hanging with the boys. i know this is a gag anime but i cannot express how much i adore the episodes where they're just some guys...

i saw the musubi online when the season first started coming out and i was like what the living hell are these things and why are they in my osomatsu-san. yeah so i love them so much now.

osomatsu shone so well in this season (as he always does), and so did choromatsu. i wasnt the biggest choro fan before but the solo skits he had were all major hits for me, it's like they finally struck exactly the right vein for making choro funny and loveable this season.

ichimatsu was the STAR of the show tho oh my god?? he was so enriched as a character this season and seemed to get a lot more screentime which bumped him up in favoritism for me... overall very good season of my favorite anime, ichimatsu-san.

the last episode... was just sad tho tbh. the other two seasons ended with a two parter in the format of: boys split up to become more proper adults, something stupid happens and theyre reunited both with each other and with their lifestyles as worthless neets after a needlessly dramatic scene with the first opening played over for extra finale vibe. and that was a good setup! but this time it seemed... so depressing, and empty... which im sure was part of the intention. as a worthless neet myself, it just hit a little too close to home, y'know?

honestly though, this season was probably my favorite one? nice to neet you SLAPS, the musubi are adorable, the new characterizations of our sextuplets did not miss, the shift in humor was also one that i personally found more enjoyable, honestly i was really satisfied by it.

that being said

THREE SEASONS. ONE MOVIE. SIX BROTHERS BORN ON THE SAME DAY. ZERO BIRTHDAY EPISODES.

since i started watching this show ive been WAITING for a birthday episode when the fuck are they gonna deliver???

ill be holding out for season four ig. starring ichimatsu, totoko, and the musubi only, apparently. looking forward to it!

also totoko and nyaa-chan were mega lesbians in this season so that's sick. good for them!

[iridescenceoflove]

Okay, I know I said I'll take what I got and still love the show—and I still really, really do—but the more I dwell on it and stew in my turmoil of feelings, the more...depressed I get about the ending. Honestly, it was just all kind of messy and underwhelming after so many good, fast-paced and resourceful episodes.

1. We already know everything wrong about Han Seo's end, I don't even need to hash it out. If you don't understand what was wrong with that... 🤷🏻‍♀️

2. I was okay with Cha Young getting shot for the protection of Vincenzo; cliched as it was, they still kept her pretty in character with the way she stood up against Han Seok while being held at gunpoint. However, they took it too far by having her get shot, just to simply stay in a hospital bed until the very end. No action for her, no behind the scenes work, no second party (what the hell was the point in that anyways?), just—reduced to an invalid in bed for saving the love of her life. After all she's done, after always wanting to be right up in the front lines. I know one of the issues with her getting shot was the overused setup for Vincenzo to reveal his feelings, and honestly, I didn't mind that. But that doesn't even work, because he doesn't. He clearly is worried for her and we know he loves her, yet it doesn't spur him to make any further move. Han Seok already killed his mother, it doesn't even add to the narrative of him having a loved one get hurt to do something. He would've still killed Han Seok brutally regardless if Cha Young had gotten hurt or not. She deserved to be a part of it all. And I don't mean the killing. She didn't have to hit the button. But she deserved a final line to Myung Hee at least since she's her father's murderer. I'm pretty sure the Geumga men got more action than she did.

3. Han Seok gathering a bunch of mercenaries seemed filler. It makes sense for the purpose of hiring people to kill Seung Hyuk, but they literally added nothing to the very mediocre face-off with the Geumga men. In fact, the face-off at the beginning of episode 19 with the whole Cassano family was way cooler and more dynamic than whatever you call that. How the hell did they even know specifically where to find Han Seok and his men? Vincenzo and Cho were the only ones aware of the tracking device anyways. I mean, I could've lived with that, except, why have them come fight? We know they can stand on their own, it's been very much established multiple times. The stabbing wasn't even done by one of the hired men, it was done by Han Seok. Just seemed really messy and unnecessary; simply there for the purpose of having some of the Geumga tenants have one last moment.

4. The whole Guillotine File thing had such a great setup. It seemed very anticlimactic just for Vincenzo to whip it out and tell Gi Seok to take it. Like, they made a huge deal of using it to take down everyone, he even says nobody but himself knows where it is, then whips it out to hand it over like nothing when he could've used it for, oh, I don't know, being pardoned so he doesn't have to leave for a whole year. Which—

5. A whole year? Come on, you just can't have me fall for the fact that this guy, whom even the Director pardoned for a bit of time, has to leave for a whole year with no way or alternative reason to come back for more than just one day because he has to sneak in with Italian delegates? I'm calling bullshit.

6. I love Vincenzo and Cha Young. They truly do love and deserve each other. But the ending for them? Nah. I hate the fact they pulled a CLOY, I really do. You're telling me Cha Young has to be content with spontaneous year to year visits or has to go visit an island in Malta to be with the one she loves? FUCK NO. I'm manifesting a completely different end for that, same with Han Seo, don't @ me.

7. Where the fuck was Inzaghi? He didn't even get to say goodbye in episode 18, seriously, what the fuck.

8. The gold storyline was okay. I'm glad they didn't leave loose ends, but it once again just didn't sit right after all the buildup. They moved it all to her house and she sleeps on a hard ass gold bar bed. Queen behavior, but still.

9. Bye Bye Balloon. We all wanted it. We didn't get it.

As you can see, the more I ramble, the less eloquent and structured my points become. All in all, did they tie most of the loose ends up? Yes. I'm glad they didn't kill Mr. Lee off, I would've been too pissed for words if that had happened along with Han Seo. In my opinion, they didn't leave an open ending, which would've made things ten times worse. And it really isn't the worst finale I've seen. Far from it, contrary to my points. It's just after so much anticipation, building, excitement, and truly amazing episodes, it fell very flat for a finale. Way more bittersweet than needed.

However, I will end on some good points because I don't want to ignore them either.

1. I love Han Seok's and Myung Hee's deaths. Absolutely love it, so much that somebody would probably deem me crazy for how much I enjoyed it. Myung Hee fire dancing to her zumba music was so poetically beautiful. Han Seok and all the references to Greek mythology or whatever as he's left for the birds was stunning. Both of them being cocky until they realize how miserable their deaths really are going to be was pure enjoyment for me. Nothing says satisfaction like watching the pure horror take place on their faces as they beg for Vincenzo to just end it instead. They really and truly did deliver with their deaths, and I am still shocked and pleasantly delighted with how they didn't shy away one bit with the brutality of it.

2. I'm glad they at least gave Cha Young her moment somewhat in the end. She got to take down the Tae ho lover and his mom in retribution for both Vincenzo's mom and her dad. Her sass and savagery in the end gave me the hint of original Cha Young I'd been craving for the whole episode. And the fact that she got to lead the Cassano Geumga family was great too (despite how cheesy that walk up and taunting of Kingmaker and his guys was).

3. I'm glad Gi Seok was promoted, and I'm especially glad he and Mr. Cho get to work together. Those two are the best and deserve everything.

4. As much as they could've really polished it, I'm glad Vincenzo and Cha Young got their moment. At that point, I think my standards and expectations were so low that I was blown away by their kiss. I didn't expect it at that point and thought we were going to be left with them walking off together. It was still a pleasant surprise, nonetheless.

5. I really do like what the monk said to Vincenzo. Wrapped up his feelings regarding his lifestyle very well, and I thought it was the perfect balance of philosophical and realistic as you could get. He needed to hear that, and I'm so glad he got some form of content and peace with who he is in the end.

6. I really love that they didn't stray away from Vincenzo truly being an anti-hero. He even refers to himself as a villain, and I'm glad they didn't try to gloss over that in the end just so it could look good morally. His take on justice is very...Vincenzo Cassano. Befitting.

I love this show still, would still recommend it, and would still do it all over again. I'm so glad I was able to be active in this fandom and see so many wonderful discussions, people, and analyses. I'm going to miss these weekends so badly.

[spockandawe]

What are your favorite chinese webnovels? What are some of the differences youve noticed between cnovels and other types of novels?

That second question is really, REALLY interesting, and I really want to answer it well, and I am REALLY sure I’m going to do a bad job of answering it, so let me just noodle about that first question for a minute while I try to think XD

I went through some of my TOP-top favorite novels in more detail yesterday, but generally speaking, mxtx and meatbun are both at the top of the pack. They’re really good at writing compelling main characters and balancing piles of angst with plenty of humor and pulling everything together into a very satisfying ending (which is something I don’t alwaysssss see, even in some of the novels I really like). After them, The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish (transmigration, ancient chinese prince falls in love with pet fish) and Golden Stage (ancient chinese gay arranged marriage between bitter enemies(?)) are two novels that I love a lot, which both have very cute romances and go a bit lighter on the main character suffering front, and which I broadly recommend to anyone who’s interested in the genre. They didn’t end stick the landing QUITE as hard as an svsss or tgcf, but they still were very nice.

Then, let me see. I’m trying to remember which books I’ve read in the last year, and am doing a terrible job, haha. I will say that a book I enjoyed for like... eighty percent of it and then the ending let me down terribly was The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir (modern day career woman transmigrates into barely-fantasy ancient china novel as the disliked primary wife of a nobleman), which is also the only straight webnovel I’ve read so far. The main character and romance were delightful, but that ending... haha, wow, I felt betrayed. But I did like the first half very much!! I’m idly contemplating a deliberately-partial reread. Then I’m currently like two chapters away from catching up with the current translation of The Wife Is First (ancient chinese prince lives out time travel fixit fic, determined to treat his spouse better this time around). I’m also catching up on Heroic Death System (transmigration, across MANY universes, where the goal is to die heroically in each one, and also maybeeeee to find his boyfriend in each one. this shit gets fucking bananas. in one of them, he emotionally seduces his boyfriend while he’s a dolphin. in another one, he’s a sentient mushroom. i’m in the middle of a section titled ‘I Am An Evil Pen’. yes, like a writing utensil type of pen. this is the weirdest book I’ve read so far). Oh, and Thousand Autumns (righteous sect leader gets sabotaged and loses a fight, wakes up blind and amnesiac, demonic sect leader is like ‘lol i bet i can turn him evil’ and accidentally catches feelings along the way).

What else... I’m keeping up with (but behind on) some others. First, there’s How To Survive As A Villain (modern terminally ill CEO transmigrates into stallion novel, wakes up as villain, accidentally seduces hero). Then, we’ve got Transmigrating Into The Body Of The Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend (only modern webnovel I’ve read, young man transmigrates into beginning of gratuitous whump book, back in high school, and is determined to protect the protagonist from all the canonical suffering). Then there’s Pulling Together A Villain Reformation Strategy (guy transmigrates into story as the hero’s childhood friend who will eventually become his enemy and get killed, successfully acts out his part and dies, completely fails to realize he’s broken his friend’s heart in the process... and then wakes up in another character’s body). And then there’s The Villain’s White Lotus Halo (a transmigrator keeps bouncing from universe to universe as a cannon fodder villain, who gets like half a line before being killed. he tries to purchase an upgrade package so he can be a COOL villain instead, but accidentally gets sold a ‘white lotus halo’ package instead, so that no matter what he does, everyone is just DEEPLY moved by his appearance and is positive he did nothing wrong). All of those are EXTREMELY delightful. You may notice a running transmigration theme, which....... yeah, I think there are a TON of delightful stories in the webnovel scene that deal with this genre, which seem so rare in English language media.

Which makes a good transition point to what’s different about the cnovel scene! I’ve seen hardly any transmigration stories in English, and I’ve got a couple go-to examples for when I’m trying to explain it, but like. Only a couple. Which is such a shame! Like, there’s the default idea of ‘I was reading this book and then I woke up inside the book!!’ but it’s clearly such an established genre that people are playing with it in all kinds of interesting ways, like in The Villain’s White Lotus Halo or Heroic Death System setups. It’s kind of wild to me, because it seems like such a gimme for a nice easy story structure? Whatever kind of world you want to present, there’s no need to introduce it to the reader from the ground up, or find a good way to hook them in. Either the main character read the book in question and can explain the premise and why we should care in pov, or the main character is new to the universe too, and trying to find their own footing. I enjoy it a lot! I’ve sampled transmigration books that didn’t grab me, but I’ve sampled way more that did. 

And then, the one semi-technical answer I thought of to this question was the way that these novels tend to handle pov. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule that regular novels are restricted to one pov, or that pov can only change at hard breaks in the story, but if I saw a bog-standard american novel glide from pov to pov the way these novels regularly do, I would tend to wonder if it was sloppiness or a mistake, or I would grump to myself about how I don’t like omniscient third person pov. And I still don’t know exactly what I think about this, or why it’s different in here, but I’m pretty sure I like it a lot, especially for stories where the romance tends to play a large part :V 

I used to read a lot of Books About Writing, and read plenty of stuff about why you don’t DO this, but.... I like it! In dtppf, Jing-wang can’t talk, and when Li Yu is a fish, he can’t talk, and drifting from one of their perspectives to the other gives me lots of useful information about how they’re both feeling. Could that be conveyed through restricted pov? Maybe! But I’m typesetting the svsss extras right now, and I’m in the bing-ge vs bing-mei section, and we get a few brief flashes of bing-ge’s thoughts, and it’s so NICE. It’s information I would not have otherwise received, because Shen Qingqiu sure wasn’t going to notice it. But early in the story, that pov was withheld from me, which also made sense (or hua cheng’s pov was withheld from me FOREVER, which makes me so sad ;u;). There don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules, which makes me really nervous about writing fic and trying to match the style, but I do like it a lot! 

And I’m definitely not able to articulate this in the way that I would like to, or speak with any real authority (I’m not that widely read in the cnovel scene, and i’m not very genre-adventurous in english), but there’s something about the role that the romances play in these stories that’s different from what I’m used to expecting, and it’s VERY tasty to me. I only rarely read romance novels, because I’m not often interested in the romance as a primary plot driver, but the romances in these books play a more substantial role than I’m used to expecting. And I’m into it! It’s a balance closer to what I’d expect from, like, a shippy longform fanfic. Which covers a lot of ground and is NOT a precise measure, but there’s more emotional weight given to the romance than I would expect, but without the romance carrying ALL of the emotional weight, and it strikes a perfect balance for me in a way I’m not used to encountering. Now, some of this could definitely be due to me not finding the right authors, or right subgenres, or whatever. But in the genres I inhabit, it’s a subtle difference, but one I find compelling.

Oh, one last thing. The cultural differences, duh :P I’m only familiar with things like, say, ancient chinese court etiquette through a lens of fan-translated novels like these, and I didn’t grow up steeped in the culture in a way I’m used to the trappings of something like medieval european courts. But there’s a distinct flavor to the social dynamics of these novels, from the formal levels down to the casual, and I know it’s super intricate and detailed and that authors play with differing degrees of historical accuracy vs fictional fun, and I wish I was better equipped to speak to the nature of any of this. But I find it really compelling! I recognize that it’s only new to ME because I didn’t seek out chinese media before now. And, the point that I originally wanted to get to before I got super distracted: the flirting. The flirting and teasing are a very different flavor from what I would expect in most english language media, and I love it, even if I can’t speak to how much of that is purely cultural, and how much of it is like... the conventions of How Fiction Is Written varying by culture, if that makes sense. I adore seeing what flirting and affection and indulgence and attentiveness look like in different settings, and these books, with their heavy romantic focus, absolutely deliver.

[brynnmck]

J/B Smut Swap recs!

I come bearing @jb-smut-swap recs! Presented mostly in posting order because that’s mostly how I read them, though first, my wonderful gift fic:

Jaime’s Game by @catherineflowers29 - SOFTEST BONDAGE EVER. I have told multiple people that reading this story felt like getting a warm hug, but with ropes. And a crucial part of the softness is the vulnerability between them, the way they’re so clearly building their trust in each other, taking care of each other, and there’s just a little bit of adorable awkwardness too as they negotiate this new thing together. It made my heart so glowy and happy. Cathy, thank you so much for volunteering to pick this up and delivering something so well-suited to my requests; I could feel the care you took with this and I appreciate it so much! <333

More recs below the cut ‘cause this got long (as did Jaime, HEYOOO); if I missed anyone’s Tumblr handle, please let me know!

Binary Explosive by @sdwolfpup - Okay this isn’t in posting order but I DID read this first and also it’s my blog and I make the rules. Am I biased about this fic because it’s SDW and because it was inspired by one of my favorite due South episodes? Yes. Does that make this fic any less amazing? IT DOES NOT. This is battle couple/mutual competence kink/danger kink at its finest, crackling with banter and absolutely dripping with (literally potentially lethal) sexual tension, all wrapped up in an entirely swoonworthy established relationship. The cocktail of soft and horny here is thoroughly intoxicating, and it’s so much FUN, with just the right hint of crack, and the ending makes me kick my feet in glee every time I read it (which has been, of my own volition, SEVERAL TIMES). LOVE.

Thrust Exercises by @nire-the-mithridatist - STRIP SPARRING. We’ve all said it but also oh my god STRIP SPARRING. WHAT A GENIUS THOUGHT. This is a fabulous combination of fun and sexy, and they’re so FOND in it, too--nire hits such a beautiful note of playful competitiveness and also a little shyness/awkwardness and a LOT of heat and, has been very correctly noted, a VERY wonderfully slutty Jaime. (Jaime’s premeditation regarding their wedding night is both very horny and very sweet/thoughtful, and thus very Jaime, and also his line about how he quite likes her loud face is right up there with my favorite love confessions, as well as being a thing that Jaime and I very much have in common. AGH SO GOOD.)

Second Chances by @firesign23 - I love me some JAB and the setup of this is so delicious, that Brienne is given a second chance at an opportunity she once turned down. This is another one where all three of them just LIKE each other so much--the J/B is so solid and lived-in and warm, and the history between Jaime and Addam is delicious, and the Brienne/Addam has that little thrill of newness and “oh my god we actually get to do this” (there is a kitchen kiss that is GOOD TIMES for me). So much trust and love here, it’s lovely.

crosslines, the scratches and stains by QuixoticChloe - One of two sex bruises fics in the swap, and SCORCHING hot. This whole thing has such a teasing vibe to it, and a sense of dirty discovery within an established relationship, and the whole “we’ve got a sexy secret and we’re gonna torture each other with it as much as possible” aspect was A LOT. Damn.

Diplomatic Relations by @eryiscrye - In which Jaime and Brienne get married and proceed to scandalize/delight/horrify the entire continent with their loud married sex. IT’S GREAT. It’s Eryi’s so you know it’s gonna be super hot, and she really touched on so many of the greatest hits here: cave sex, armory sex, water sex, quiet sex, alcove sex, SO MANY GOOD CHOICES and so much sweetness to go with them, too. And the other characters’ pained/pleased observations were hysterical. SO much fun.

Apart, Together, Together Apart by greenmtwoman - Oof, this one made my chest ache in the best way. It’s so soft and romantic and LONGING and full of equal parts Brienne and Jaime’s devotion to each other and devotion to their respective duties, which feels incredibly true to them. The way this story builds and releases and then slowly builds tension again is lovely, and it’s bittersweet, but very full of hope for their future.

left your fingerprints all over me by @writergirl2011 - Friends-with-benefits-to-dating, yessssss. The banter in this was adorable, and the connection between them was so palpable, and it was delightful to watch them finally acknowledge their feelings. 

Good Long Line of Praises by @aliveanddrunkonsunlight - In which Brienne discovers that Jaime has a praise kink and we ALL get to benefit. Actually the praise goes both ways here, and the result is lovely--they take each other apart at the same time they’re holding each other very closely, and it’s a wonderful mix of sweet and sexy. Another established relationship fic that included so much joy of discovery built over a strong foundation.

Nights Avoiding Things Unholy by @forbiddenfantasies1 - I was lucky enough to get a sneak preview of this one and when I tell you that it has been living rent-free in my mind ever since... this is LUDICROUSLY, brain-cell-incineratingly hot, with so many delicious horny details, but also with FF’s trademark gigantic heart behind it (I feel like heart + hornt is basically FF’s brand and I love this for all of us). Again, you get such a strong sense that these two LIKE each other so much, even when they’re a little resentful and a lot scared about it, and the filth is so full of genuine affection that it makes it all the more devastating. I literally read this and was like “shit, I gotta up my game” regarding my own draft, lol. SO GOOD.

Light My Fire by @wildlingoftarth - While I fully respect and celebrate the union suit kink, I don’t have strong feelings about it, myself, but this fic made me a convert. The painstakingly sexy descriptions here were SO MUCH, and I’m also such a huge sucker for the slightly chaotic camp counselors vibe of this, that sort of euphoria and recklessness that overtakes you when something time-bound is about to end. The banter was adorable, there were so many moments that made me giggle, and of course it was hot as hell too and I’m very glad that these two dorks FINALLY figured it out.

Clothes (un)Make the Man by @aviss - CLOTHES-SWAPPING YESSSSS. I am such a sucker for that and Aviss delivered on it beautifully; seeing the progression of their relationship was so delightful and the feelings built so well throughout, and there were a couple of lines that made me laugh out loud, and, again, both the tension and the smut were super hot. LOVELY.

I’ll never let you go (if you promise not to fade away) by LadyRhiyana - This fic is going to HAUNT ME in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. For one thing, I have checked the word count MULTIPLE times to make sure it’s not ten times as long because the world here is so vivid and so affecting that it’s like some sort of magic. I adore the setting here, and Cersei’s POV is spectacular--she’s all sharp edges and frustrated longing for the things she thinks she can’t have and I felt for her SO MUCH. Both she and Jaime are just incredibly, helplessly horny for (HOT MECHANIC) Brienne, and I loved the way that LadyRhiyana made it so clear that having Brienne there shifts the balance for Jaime and Cersei just enough that all their spikes can slide together a little better instead of just eviscerating each other all the time--and yet this happens without ever making it feel like Brienne is just a conduit or a means to an end for them; all three sides of the triad feel thoroughly distinct and important (including a very deft hand with the Jaime/Cersei aspect). It’s also EXTREMELY hot, and the Jaime/Brienne aspect has so much softness to it, and Brienne is so forthright and so kind and so curious, and AGH. I loved this.

a grip so tight I couldn’t tear it apart by @janiedean - The other sex bruises fic, and this one ended up (coincidentally, I assume) being a perfect bookend to the other one--if the modern AU is all about sexy secrets, this canon-based one is all about Jaime and Brienne’s pride in each other and joy in not having to hide their relationship, gleefully declaring their love and desire for each other for everyone to see. I was so happy for them!

with those who know secret things by @sdwolfpup - This has been recced widely and DESERVEDLY SO. The amount of CARE in this fic is overwhelming, and it’s full of all of these subtle details that suddenly come into sharp focus at just the right moment to really devastate you, and by you, I mean me. The prose itself is also gorgeous--the description of Brienne in her ad came directly for my throat (as well as some other places)--and it’s beautiful to watch these two surprise and delight and take care of each other. They’re both so GOOD and Jaime is so soft and vulnerable and Brienne is so kind and incisive and THEY LIKE EACH OTHER AND WANT EACH OTHER SO MUCH I CAN’T. The whole thing is lustrous and wonderful and I adored it. 

Today Will Die Tomorrow by HNJ - This fic also DESTROYED me. The way the time shifts are handled so that we slowly put the pieces of the night together and feel the full impact of each moment, the understated delicacy and very obvious love with which both Jaime and Brienne are handled, the multiple lines that made me catch my breath with how TRUE they were, the way their love for each other uncurls and opens up to the light over the course of the story... it’s really gorgeous and just burrowed right into my heart. I also loved that this was a canon-based first time that focused more on Brienne not knowing what to do emotionally than not knowing what to do physically; I’ve read and enjoyed the latter a bunch of times but the former felt really fresh and fascinating; it was an excellent take. 

Hush by @kiraziwrites - I have a thing for quiet sex anyway, and like everyone else, I will be suing kirazi for the fact that this fic left my brain a smoldering wreckage with nary a coherent thought left for the comment box. The sex in this is so deliciously varied and dirty and every bit of it feels somehow decadent and completely necessary at the same time, and watching their relationship build as they try each new thing is wonderful, and there are so many images in this that have burned themselves into the empty space where my brain used to be and taken up permanent residence. I could list MANY, but a sampling: the glacier comparison, and Brienne’s teeth-marks in Jaime’s jacket, and also Brienne DROPPING A CONDOM IN JAIME’S POCKET AND PROPOSITIONING HIM ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO END MY LIFE, KIRAZI. It’s also so funny and so fond and the fact that it’s literally exactly 5K is such a flex, I can’t even. Gah. TOO MUCH.

we used to wait by @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined - I was reading things in update order and I kept thinking that I hadn’t read one yet that I could clock as jencat’s, and then kirazi was flailing about this fic and how beautiful the prose was and how strong a sense of place it had and I was like aha without even having read it yet. And this fic is indeed those things, as well as being sexy as fuck; Jen just drags the tension out and out in this very deliberate-yet-spare-yet-somehow-also-lush way until you want to claw your face off (and then she makes it totally worth the wait, too). Their relationship had some wonderful details, too, to show how well-matched they are--Jaime increasing the speed on his treadmill to match Brienne’s, rather than to exceed it, wasn’t what I was expecting and worked fabulously in this context--and the image of Jaime leaning against the wall at a crucial moment was SO MUCH. Whew. Just lovely.

The Waters and the Wild by LadyRhiyana - The last entry in the swap but by no means the least! This was another one where I couldn’t believe how much happened in such a short space; the descriptions were so vivid and cinematic, I could see the whole landscape unfold in my head, and it included some high-quality competence kink, too. We get just enough backstory to be fully invested in this version of Jaime and Brienne, including their delightful hidden-identity initial meeting, and the tension and affection and trust and frustration between them just simmers and simmers until it inevitably boils over and it’s incredibly satisfying. I also thoroughly adored the ending--including Brienne being as indignant as Jaime at [redacted]--and I would buy this movie so fast if it actually existed. 

[siyeonjisoo]

AVATAR GOING HUNTING NYC 9/3

It has finally happened, y’all!  Concerts are back in my life and I am more than thrilled about it.  Last night was the first concert I’ve been to since February 13, 2020 so over a year and a half when I’m used to maybe 3 months at most between concerts.  Felt so SO good to be back at it and see concert fam folks again!

My comeback was with the incomparable metal band Avatar who I first saw in 2019 when they toured with Babymetal and I had no clue who they were.  How things have changed since then.  Now without any further ado, I give you how the day went.

I sadly had to go to work in the morning but I left at noon and made it to Irving Plaza around 1:40.  I was really worried that I was going to have a horrible spot in line and thus have to hide in the back or along the walls to avoid the mosh pits but I ended up being only the 7th person in line.  I had GA ticket and was the first person in line for that. Between already knowing some of the folks there and spending the next 6 hours making friends with them, I ended up being promised they would help me get as close to front row as they could get me which was AMAZING.

Doors opened actually on time and we were able to get into the venue pretty quickly!  I ended up SECOND ROW for this show DEAD CENTER.  An intense place to be but so very amazing.

Touring with Avatar are two other bands, Tallah and Magic Sword.  Tallah performed first with about 5 songs.  I’m always completely unfamiliar with the bands touring with folks so I didn’t know this group either.  And they aren’t bad but not a group I will go out of my way to listen to again.  Drummer kicked ass though, apparently he only joined the band as a replacement drummer 2 months ago and he killed it.  The singer has the ability to do splits but that’s the only thing about him I think I like.  The other members of the band were just as memorable as their songs, which is to say, not at all.

Next was Magic Sword.  That group is a trio, of drummer, guitarist, and keyboardist.  They were amazing, 10 out of 10.  If you can get the chance to see them in concert, I beg of you to do so.  That said, I can’t say I’ll be listening to their music again unless it’s live because they don’t have a vocalist and I like to be able to sing/rap along with music unless it is loud enough I can feel it in every single cell of my body, which is what Magic Sword delivered.  Only bad thing to happen here was the crowd was starting to be...less than sober...and the person behind me spilled a quarter of their beer down my ass, right into the pocket where my phone was.  I was less than thrilled with this person and was thankful they traded places with their friend for Avatar’s set because the second person was kinder and actually made conversation with us a little bit and apologized for how drunk they both were.

The stage was cleared after Magic Sword performed probably 6 or 7 songs? I can’t tell for sure since their songs do seem to run on the longer side so I may have split a song that is actually one into two.  And then it was time for the reason I was there, the main event: AVATAR.

The roadies came out and set up the stage for them with a very different setup than ANY of us expected. There was a projector screen blocking most of our view but we could see three mic stands set up in the front middle, the usual lights and drumset in the back, and then another drumset on stageright next to the microphones.  

After many attemted Avatar chants and false alarms from the crew, the band came out.  They all lined up, John at the front drumset, Henrik, Johannes, Jonas, and Tim in that order filled in the microphones set up.  They all stood looking dead ahead, barely blinking, for a few moments of us screaming before jumping into the first two songs of the night, Colossus and Let it Burn.  They performed Colossus without moving or smiling or anything, they looked like robots so so perfectly.  They held the positions for what felt like a full minute or two with Henrik trying so so hard to not smile, I could see the corner of his mouth twitching.  He looked so happy to be here the whole night!

The lights went down after those 2 songs and they took off the front drumset and changed the microphones back to the usual ones that they can kick up and spread them to give them all more space.  When they did, a drumstick dropped on the ground and got left behind so a friend of mine got the venue staff to pick it up and hand it to her! She got a drum stick from Tallah, too I believe.

Next came SIlence in the Age of Apes, Bloody Angel, (Johannes said he thinks of all of us as his) Child (ren), and The Eagle Has Landed.  This is where things started getting a LOT more intense in the crowd.  I could feel the crowd moving more behind me in Apes so I could tell that there was a mosh pit that was at least starting out by then and by Bloody Angel, people were crowd surfing.  At least one person per song would come crashing over us for the rest of the show and I didn’t really love it.  I was scared the whole time a foot was gonna come crashing into my head or a staff member was gonna punch me in the nose AGAIN to keep me from getting a foot in the head. which yes, the dude full-on punched me in the nose to catch a foot that swerved away from my head and into the person in front of me instead.  An adventure of a moment.

Everyone went off-stage for a few minutes except for Johannes who took a moment to greet us and thank us all for coming  He was in his full glory the whole night, that cocky grin glued to his face and a manic joy in his eyes that was genuine happiness to be back in front of a crowd after so long.  He gave us some kind of witty (but obvious if you know song names) intro into the next set of songs and the rest of the band came back out.

(Insert quirky pun her) Paint it Red, Secret Door, Swarm, Torn Apart.  This was the period of time when I could barely keep my eyes off of Tim because he looked so giddy half the time.  Either making faces to tease us or just looking around himself in amazement.  More moshing pushing us around and crowd surfers kicking us in the head but oh-so amazing.

Then came the grand piano being carried on stage.  No, it wasn’t actually a grand piano, it was a keyboard put into a wood frame to look like a shrunken down grand piano so it looked real but was able to be lifted by three or four people and carried on stage.  Johannes sat down and seranaded us with Gun and I have not hated being in an American crowd so much before in my life.  Every time I would start to get into the emotions of the song, someone would shout something hardly intelligible because they were so far away or it would be someone screaming “I LOVE AVATAR!” Made me so so so annoyed but Johannes was smiling so I tried to ignore it and let it go.

The piano was taken away and the rest of the band came back to perform Going Hunting.  And lemme just tell you that it was an honor to be in the third ever audience to hear that song performed live.  It hits all the right feels to kick ass live and at home so I hope people are loving it.

Johannes thanked us for tuning in and making their streamed Dream concerts happen in Avataruary.  He said it gave them all a chance to reflect and think about the songs they haven’t performed in years, leading them to their self-titled album, leading us Deeper Down.  This song was actually one I don’t know if I’ve listened to before, I’ve kind of stuck with the 4 albums I really like and haven’t branched out much.  But it slaps hard.

Next it was time for us to worship our king.  Everyone but Kungen left stage and he looked at us like we were ants beneath his feet, barely worthy of being acknowleged while the roadies came and changed his guitar and gave him his royal attire.  Kungen slowly started playing the intro and Tim joined him, standing back to back and both of them looking gorgeous while everyone else slowly joined them on stage to build up A Statue of the King.  They followed that with zero comments jumping immediately into The King Welcomes You to Avatar Country.  Both of those songs are so effing hype that when they all just walked off stage after, I was shook.

I think this was when Johannes started getting a little sappy with us in his comment.  He said they’d all agreed that they wouldn’t get emotional on us but he had to take a minute and thank us all for being back here with them.  And the way he knows that we’re really back together is because even though we all look so different we all *snifs armpits* smell the same.  We all Smell Like a Freakshow.  I don’t know if it’s just me but it felt like we were all saving up energy for this song and went absolutely feral.  I used up almost all the energy I had left so I just did the bare minumum for Wormhole right after.  Moved just enough to avoid getting hit in the head with someone else’s head.

Then for what I think was only the second time all night, everybody went off stage.  Every other time, Johannes has stuck around and chatted while the others were gone but he left too.  They did a quick little outfit change behind the scenes I think, Johannes came back on with his overalls undone so clearly he was hot.  And, you know, a warm temperature as well. Yup.

And just like that, as though 3 hours hadn’t passed since the first band started, it was time for the last song of the night.  It was time to Hail the Apocalypse.  This song is the only song I know for sure they performed the last time I saw them live and I feel like it only gets better the more I hear it.  They could make a 10 minute version of it and I would still be asking for more.

They went off-stage for a second and everyone put down their instruments and came back without anything and just let us cheer for them.  They gave us a little bow and then started saying thank you and waving good bye.  I saw Tim say “I love you” at the crowd and I think John and Jonas both blew kisses at us.  

And then it was over.  They left the stage, the lights came up in the house, we all made sure everyone was okay from all the flying feet that came at us, and the venue staff told us it was time to go home.  I had friends going the same way I was so I was able to keep the magic going for a little while longer before I started my journey home alone.

These guys are all so amazing and I am so lucky I got to fall in love with them the way I did.  And I am so happy to have the friends I’ve made at this show and every other show I’ve been to.  It was an amazing way to get back to concerts, starting it off with a bang.  I have blisters, bruises, and sore everything but I would do it all again tonight if only I could.  It is now time to start counting down the days till I follow Miyavi around for a week on tour in October!

THANK YOU FOR TAKING ME HUNTING, AVATAR! Glory to Our King!

The setlist was given to my my friend. All other photographs are taken by yours truly

[padfootprongslet]

Congrats on 1,000 followers 🥰 you’re amazing!! Prompt idea; first kiss or maybe something valentines related for Buddie? 💕

I hope you enjoy this, Mikayla!!

Buck was a nervous wreck. He had been dating Eddie for about seven months and even though those seven months have been amazing, Buck was a complete, nervous wreck because of their date tonight. And Buck normally wouldn't be so nervous, except it was a date on Valentine's Day, his second date on Valentines Day that meant something and Buck...really didn't want anything to go wrong tonight like it did when he had been with Abby.

And Eddie - god bless his boyfriend because even though Eddie knew how nervous Buck was about tonight, he did his best to calm Buck down, his hands pressing down on Buck's shoulders before wrapping around Buck from behind as he helped Buck with his breathing. They were just about to go out to the restaurant when Buck started to panic, started to worry that this could go wrong, and Eddie - God bless Eddie, Buck thinks as he tilts his head back and blinks up at the ceiling of Eddie's living room slowly.

"Everything is going to be alright, Buck," Eddie whispers, lips against Buck's neck that leaves the spot tingling. Buck finds himself turning around, his own arms wrapping around Eddie as he let's out a soft hum before he leans down and kisses his boyfriend. Before they can get too lost in the kiss though, Eddie pulls away from Buck and Buck finds himself frowning gently before Eddie smiles and strokes his cheek.

"We can't be late to our reservation," Eddie whispers and Buck nods, knowing it's true. The reservation had been set up in early November, since the restaurant was wildly popular, and then plans had been made to have Eddie's Abuela watch Chris for the night, something Chris didn't mind too much since he missed his bisabuela. Buck and Eddie had done their best to make sure they didn't work the day and night, and that they didn't agree to anything either, which wasn't easy since no one had been told, mainly because no one knew Buck was dating Eddie - something they both agreed on early in their relationship, wanting something just for themselves first.

But finally, the day was among them and Buck, while incredibly excited, was also incredibly nervous. Because he knew what his luck was like and he really didn't want it to strike at this moment. But Eddie was by his side and Eddie was constantly touching him and doing his best to calm him down and Buck - Buck had absolutely zero qualms about that. If anything, Buck rather enjoyed being constantly reminded that he belonged to Eddie, and that Eddie knew how to help him in moments of stress and worry.

Getting into Eddie's car, Buck slowly did his best to relax, knowing that if he continued to worry about something happening throughout the night, something would actually happen and that was energy that Buck really didn't want to put out there. The drive is slow, music playing lightly from the radio in Eddie's car, the two of them holding hands when Eddie can afford to do so. Eventually though, they arrive at the restaurant and Buck finds himself eternally grateful that he managed to score a reservation because the line up waiting to get in? Incredibly long and insane and not something Buck would want to experience on the night of romance that Valentines was.

The two of them enter the restaurant quickly, Eddie guiding him, a small pressure on the back of Buck's back, something Buck finds himself thrilling over before they're seated. The tables are nicely setup and the chairs are comfortable as Eddie sits in front of him, the two continuing to hold hands in the middle of the table.

Slowly, Buck begins to relax more and more, especially as Eddie and he order their meals, and their drinks and the food and everything else gets delivered. Buck has no idea why he was so nervous, not when Eddie is by his side and Buck can see Eddie arching his eyebrow, almost like he knows exactly what Buck is thinking, which wouldn't be the first time really.

Eventually the two of them begin to eat, grinning at one another as they enjoy the meals they ordered. Just as they're ordering dessert though, Buck finds his name being called by a familiar voice and with wide eyes, he turns behind him to find Maddie and Chimney staring at him from where they stand.

"Oh," he whispers before turning to look at Eddie, his eyebrow arching a little as he silently asks his boyfriend how he would like to proceed. Buck knows it wouldn't be easy to lie their way out of this - not on valentines day, not with how they're dressed, and not with the fact that they're holding hands like lovers that can't let go of one another -- which is, essentially, the actual case between them. But Buck turns towards Eddie just to make sure, and when Eddie nods, Buck finds himself relaxing even more before letting out a grin when he turns towards his sister and Chimney.

"What are you guys--" Chimney begins to ask before stopping with a snort.

"No, that's obvious," he adds before looking towards Buck with a smile. "How long has this been a thing?" He asks instead and Buck finds himself turning towards Eddie with a grin nudging him lightly with his foot.

"Seven months - almost eight" Eddie replies and Buck turns back around towards his sister, smiling at her when she hums thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're happy Buck," She says and Buck nods. It hadn't been easy, especially after their parents dropped by during her pregnancy but --

"Wait, is this why you couldn't watch Evelyn?" Chim asks and Buck can only laugh as he nods, looing towards his boyfriend with his own smile, thankful for the night that they have together, especially with the fact that very soon they're going to have their own news to share about a new child in the Buckley-Diaz family.

celebrate getting 1k followers with me.

[runawayface]

WIP Wednesday

Okay, I actually have an update on Runaway Year 2!  So two weeks ago I was in a bad place with this next chapter.  I hadn’t really started it at all, all I had was two lines of dialogue and that’s it.  I usually try to have a decent chunk of my chapters written ahead of time but with that one, I had nothing.  I didn’t even have a plan or outline for what I wanted to happen, this was definitely a chapter I was very ill prepared for.  It’s why I’m VERY surprised to be posting two weeks later for WIP Wednesday to say that... it’s done!  Well, correction, it’s written.  There’s a big difference between “written” and “done”.  It still needs heavy editing but I’m very happy to say that motivation has been kind to me over the last two weeks and I’ve actually been able to get a decent amount of writing done.

As for the remaining two chapters, they’re in a similar state as this one had been, though maybe not as bad.  There’s not much written in advance and the ideas for what I’m doing are foggy at best.  Since I don’t plan on posting this next chapter for another two weeks, the goal is to spend the next two weeks really brainstorming these last two chapters so that I won’t end up in the same situation I was this time.  I was lucky that motivation/inspiration came so easily these last two weeks, but I’m not always so lucky.  In fact, that’s rare.  Gotta try to stay on top of this and try to keep on schedule with these last two chapters.  I wanna finish this fic on time to start my next big saga... 👀 Anyway, I’m pleased to actually be able to offer a snippet longer than two lines of dialogue this time around so enjoy a sneak peek at the next chapter!

~*~

“Today’s the big day,” Harvey sighed, setting a plate of eggs and toast in front of May along with a glass of orange juice.  It was the quickest, easiest breakfast he could make and as a result, May had eaten it nearly every day of fall.

“I know, I’m so jittery this morning,” May replied anxiously.  “I just hope we win.”

“Oh, I… I sorta meant the other big day,” Harvey chuckled nervously.

In the week leading up to the fair, May had somehow forgotten that today was not just the day of the fair, but another important day; her due date.  She supposed it was much easier and far less stressful to focus on preparations for the fair than it was to focus on preparations for having a baby any day now.  The fair had given her something else to focus her time and attention on.

“Oh, yeah… that big day,” May replied quietly.  “Of course who knows, it might not even happen today.  It probably won’t, let’s be honest.  Only five percent of women actually deliver on the exact due date.”

“True,” Harvey nodded in agreement.  “But we should still be prepared.  As far as today goes…”

Harvey trailed off for a moment, clearly trying hard to phrase what he was about to say very delicately.  Yet before he could continue speaking, there was a knock at the door.  May didn’t even have the chance to get out of her seat before Harvey was crossing the kitchen to answer the door.  May couldn’t see around the doorframe but knew from the voice on the other side that it was Shane.

“The Boss up yet?” Shane asked.  He was panting and sounded like he’d already been hard at work.

“She’s eating breakfast as we speak,” Harvey answered, stepping aside to allow Shane passage through the door.

When Shane walked in, his brow was already covered in sweat and he had stray pieces of hay in his hair and on his shirt.  It was a relief to see that he'd remembered to feed the animals before things got too crazy today.

“What’s the word, Shane?” May asked, munching on a piece of toast.  Shane grabbed a chair from the dining room table and flipped it around, sitting in the chair backwards so that he could rest his hands and chin on the backrest of the chair.

“The animals are all taken care of for the day and the produce stand is all setup, so we’re a little ahead of schedule,” Shane replied.  It was nice to hear the pride in his voice, he took his job at Runaway Farm very seriously.

“That’s excellent news,” May replied.  “And the orchard?”

“Since the tourists’ll be the ones picking the apples, all I really need to make sure of is that there’s enough buckets out there for people to use.”

“Perfect,” May replied with a satisfied nod.  “I figure I’ll work the produce stand since that won’t be much work and you can work the orchard to supervise and help people out when they need it.”

Right away Shane shifted uncomfortably in his seat and his eyes darted nervously away from May.  It was clear he wanted to say something, but thought better of it given that May was his boss.  Harvey, on the other hand, seemed to share the same thought as Shane but had no reservations about speaking up.

“I don’t think it wise for you to be doing any work today,” Harvey stated delicately.

May’s eyes snapped so swiftly to Harvey that he slightly cowered under her glare.  It was momentary, though, as within seconds he stood confidently at his full height and stiffened his lip to maintain his resolve.

[gra-sonas]

Day after day this summer, with covid-19 shuttering much of the world, Lily Cowles would enter a small sewing room in her family’s 18th century home in Northwest Connecticut, crawl inside some blankets, and scream. Along with her wails, she’d repeat the same phrases, over and over — all part of a daily ritual that spanned some four hours, until a collection of voices told her they were satisfied. Then she would collect herself, climb out from the blankets and greet her boyfriend who could hear her through the walls in the next room.

“Man, you died a lot of ways today,” he’d say.

“I don’t know why they killed me so bad,” Cowles would reply.

Such were the unusual conditions for Cowles and others when recording the dialogue — and other vocalizations — for the upcoming game “Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War,” the newest addition to the famed and fanciful war sim series. The blanket-draped fort served as the actress’s workstation, with a host of audio producers providing directions via video conference. Occasionally those instructions included imagining a wide variety of fates for her character, requiring lengthy sessions capturing death cries. All of it was part of a months-long, pandemic-related process to produce the game, one that proved both challenging in its never-before-done nature and cathartic for its ample opportunities to exorcise the many anxieties of 2020.

“It just felt so good to scream for that long,” said Cowles, who plays MI-6 operative Helen Park and supplied the character’s voice for both the game’s story and multiplayer modes. She recalled one session in which the game’s audio producers recorded her falling from a 30-story building. “I was like, ‘can we make it 40 floors? I could really use the extra 10 [stories] of just straight screaming.’ It just felt like a real relief.”

The unorthodox routine was shared by “Cold War’s” cast of 125 actors as they pivoted to follow safety protocols related to the novel coronavirus, which temporarily shut down the game’s production in March. The latest installment in the Call of Duty franchise, releasing Nov. 13, was completed with both developers and actors working remotely and overcoming a variety of logistical challenges.

“At the time [in March, when covid cases escalated in the United States] we thought it might be like 20 people or 50 percent of the studio who would have to work from home, and maybe that would be for like two weeks,” Dan Vondrak, Senior Creative Director at Raven Software, said. “And then it was everybody. … In my head, I was thinking, if this thing lasts six to eight weeks, we can’t get it done. That’s impossible.”

For Cowles and the game’s other actors, that meant recording lines of dialogue — and their many screams — from the confines of their homes. That process normally would be captured in large part during live shoots using motion capture suits on a studio sound stage. During the pandemic, capturing those recordings provided a unique challenge for narrative producer Natalie Pohorski and her team.

“One of those areas I thought we were just dead in the water was the external talent [voice overs],” Vondrak said. “I can’t have actors go into a studio. So, how is this going to work? And what Natalie and the narrative team did to get that to work and have people recording at home was unbelievable.”

Before dispersing from the studio, Pohorski and Vondrak estimated they had between 50 and 60 percent of the voice over work finalized. Working with their partners at Activision (the game’s publisher) and Treyarch (“Cold War’s” co-developer), Pohorski and her team shipped the actors crates filled with recording equipment that included helmets wired with microphones, sound mixing boards and materials to improve the acoustics around their homes.

“They sent me this giant Pelican briefcase that looked like I’m an arms dealer,” Cowles said.

Veteran actor Bruce Thomas, who plays the role of CIA agent Russell Adler in the game, already had a 5-foot-by-5-foot sound booth he’d constructed in his apartment adjacent to his kitchen. He’d used it to previously to record voice overs, including for some commercials, but he’d never recorded himself there quite so regularly — or at quite the same volume level. To that end, he sought to get ahead of any potential problems with a kind gesture and a heads-up for his neighbors about any yells they may hear through the walls.

“I delivered cookies and a little note to their doors right next to me and below me,” Thomas said. “I just moved here in January, so I hadn’t really met them yet, and I got a text message from the person below me who was like, ‘Oh my God! You do that for a living? How cool is that? Even if I hear you, don’t worry about it.’”

The conditions also required the actors to perform another role as well: that of audio engineer, recording and tinkering with sound levels to ensure quality and consistency. The studio’s engineers would call actors and walk them through proper setups and troubleshoot issues, but when something went wrong, the actors would have to be the ones to fix it manually. Turns out CIA operatives have the same tech troubles as other remote workers.

“Because of covid, everybody’s home and sharing bandwidth,” Thomas said about the Internet connection in his apartment building. “Sometimes it would just cut right out [during an online recording session]. And sometimes when that happens, a glitch will happen on your laptop and so you have to reboot it.”

The recording process consisted of four sessions per day, every day of the week, according to Pohorski, who also noted they wrapped at a similar time compared to what they’d anticipated in their pre-pandemic production schedule, even as they navigated challenges that would have been easily addressed in their usual studio setting.

“To not be able to just walk up and touch the screen and act out what I was talking about … ‘I want the guy’s head to turn this way,’ … I was trying to do it real time in a video camera,” Vondrak said. “Just the communication of that last 20 percent [of the game] was probably the most difficult.”

The on-the-fly evolution of several standardized processes did carry some fringe benefits, according to both the developers and actors. On the development team, Vondrak noted some people seemed more willing to contribute their opinions to the creative process when they didn’t feel the pressure of speaking up in a formal meeting. For the actors, Cowles said her isolated, remote location led her to take more chances with her character.

“I think I was able to make facial expressions and noises that, in a normal setting, my body would be like, ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t. You don’t want to make that noise. Don’t make that face,’" Cowles said. “But I was alone in this thing, and you know, the context in which we’re working [as characters] is this crazy war zone where horrible things are going down. Right? And no one in that situation is thinking about the sound they’re making or the face that they’re making. … I think that led to a degree of authenticity in my work.”

Another silver lining, according to Vondrak, was the increased flexibility in scheduling follow-up sessions for VO work. Oftentimes VO recording sessions are pegged to specific times of the year when the developers can gather all the actors in one place and free them from their other projects. (For example, Thomas is also the motion capture actor for Master Chief for the upcoming game “Halo: Infinite.”) With everyone working from home, the actors’ schedules became more flexible.

“It was like, wait a minute, we can just go back to these people and have them pop out of their family room, into their closet and record some VO lines,” Vondrak said. “Normally it would have been like, ‘We need some new lines.’ And [the schedulers] would have said, ‘Well, the next pick up session where everyone’s going to be in the studio is June.' It’s [normally] a very slow, formal process."

The flexibility did carry an occasional side effect of home life encroaching on the working world, and vice versa, often providing a uniquely 2020 kind of amusement.

Cowles remembered recording a scene in which her character laments the loss of one of her companions, screaming his name repeatedly as a helicopter whisks her away.

“I came out of the sewing room, and my boyfriend is like … ‘So, who is he?’” Cowles said. “I was like, ‘Don’t worry about it. He’s dead now.’”

[rwbyconversations]

Volume 8, Chapter 1: Divide thoughts

I don’t think it’s gonna be easy for me to figure out how I feel about the premiere until Volume 8 wraps as this is very much a setup episode to conclude some threads from Volume 7 and setup the season’s main plots- Cinder wants Penny, Salem wants Oscar, Ruby wants the tower, Ironwood wants Penny, Yang wants to join Robyn’s Home Owners Association. It’s very Volume 5 esque. Right down to not having a fight scene, which is probably gonna hurt my feelings on this in retrospect.

I’m surprised how much I liked Cinder’s content. I feel the flash’s a bit on the nose- DO YOU GET IT SHE’S SCRUBBING THE FLOOR SHE’S CINDEREALLA DO YOU GET IT  YET- but she was... not terrible in this episode? She’s actually got character, and nuance, y’know, things she didn’t have the last few years. I thought there’d be more of a gap between Salem arriving and Cinder going to meet her, but nah they get that out of the way. I do hope that since they’re literally opening on Cinder having a flashback, this sticks out and we finally get Cinder some fleshing out that she’s been well overdue for.

Most of the villain stuff in general is really cool, albeit I called most of this- Cinder gives Salem the Relic, pins the victory on herself, Neo looks pissed, Salem is vague and speaks in general terms about her plan and gives the kidnap order on Oscar. Tyrian’s already here, so I’m already happy, and I adore how Cinder’s back for all of six minutes before Tyrian’s roasting her. "So devoted to someone so incompetent" like.. Jesus Tyrian she hasn’t even taken her shoes off yet. 

I’m very happy, if apprehensive, to see Emerald and Mercury again. Like, y’know, favorite characters in all, I’m obviously eager to see their arcs continue, but given how I just criticised RWBY like two weeks ago for having massive character bloat problems in Volume 7, adding Team MEH to the pre-existing roster is... a judgement call that we’re sure going to see the results of before the season’s out. I want to be hopeful, but in general I’m starting to have the same apprehension I had when Volume 5 started. We’ll have to wait and see.

I do really like their outfits though! At least right now I do. I do have to wonder where they got them but I’ll take them finally getting new gear after seven years. Hazel’s though... 

Oh man what happened to you Hazel. I’m gonna steal someone else’s joke and say this is what a Magic Mike AU Hazel would dress like.

As for the Team RWBY stuff it’s more of “setup for the season at large.” Oscar gets reunited, the party’s been split, Yang and Ruby are having issues... it’s hard to talk about because it’s basically a lot of exposition about what the plan is for the season, and as such this, again, lives or dies on where Volume 8 takes it. If good, it’s good setup, if bad, it’s not great. I’d like to see Ruby and Yang have a wedge driven between them but we’ll have to wait and see on that front. I will say I’m moderately interested in Oscar keeping Ozpin’s return a secret, though again, we’ll have to see where the plot’s going with that. 

That being said, Yang can go shut up. The gall of her to say Ruby’s been making bad calls since Mistral when she went behind Ruby’s back to tell Robyn about the Amity Tower, which played a huge role in RWBY and Ironwood splitting ways? Fuck you. 

Ironwood’s scene though? Ehhhhhhh I’m getting bad vibes. I do not like him shooting the Councilman, it feels like way too far a step for him to take coming off of Volume 7, especially with the whole “protecting Atlas and its people is James’s entire reason for his descent and now he’s shooting what’s likely a friend of his in cold blood.” It was one thing to shoot Oscar as that can be read as James shooting Ozpin and not seeing Oscar like... you know, the rest of the cast in all honesty... but shooting Slate? Kinda just feels like shock value. After how good James’ arc in Volume 7 was and showing his gradual descent, him gunning a civilian down is... disconcerting. It feels too far a step for him to take this early in the season. Down the line, this could make sense, but as is, not a great showing for James in the premiere.

The opening’s OK, I think the music has a bit of a halt in the chorus I don’t like, most of the OP stuff is cool, other people can say it better than me. 

Again, I don’t really know how to feel about this episode right now besides the immediate hype of Emerald and Mercury’s return. A lot of this episode’s individual quality will lie on how the rest of the season uses this as foundations. Which makes it annoying to talk about. I don’t think it’s bad? But I think in a few years, if the season doesn’t deliver on executing these ideas, it’ll be seen as one of the weaker premieres of the series with how some of the talking scenes can drag. It’s hard to call now, but really barring my immediate revulsion at Ironwood’s scene and the excitement of seeing Em and Merc? I’m kinda forgetting a lot of this premiere already. And it only came out four hours ago at time of writing. 

[raywritesthings]

I Want

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Sara Lance, Tommy Merlyn, Raisa, Quentin Lance Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen (pre-relationship/childhood crush) Summary: Young Ollie gets a change in perspective when he overhears a girl named Laurel's wish list to Santa Claus. *Can also be read on AO3, link is in bio*

Oliver bounced on the balls of his feet, trying not to look too impatient. Good kids probably weren’t impatient, after all. But he was so close to getting to tell Santa what he wanted!

Every year, either Raisa or Mrs. Merlyn took him and Tommy to the mall to read Santa Claus their Christmas lists. This year, it was Raisa accompanying them. She stood to the side by all the other parents, smiling when Oliver caught her eye. He gave a little wave, then refocused his attention on the line. There was one girl ahead of him and another in Santa’s lap who was reciting her list off the top of her head. And it was a long one.

“I want a new dolly, too. The arm came off my last one. And I wanna pet. Like a shark or something cool. We went to the aquarium this year, and I got a stuffed toy, but it’s not the same as a real one.”

Santa laughed but Oliver wanted to groan. Could she hurry up already!

“And,” the girl added, “I want my own room. My sister, Laurel, she stays up reading and it keeps me up. That’s naughty, right Santa?”

“Sara!” The girl ahead of him in line shouted. She had blond hair like her sister, but there were some darker shades mixed in that were almost brown. It was a pretty blend of colors, Oliver thought to himself, watching the back of her head.

“Honey,” a man with bedraggled hair cautioned the girl in line, who tucked her head in and fell silent.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do, young lady,” Santa said. “Now then, how about a nice big smile?” They took the picture, and the girl named Sara hopped off Santa’s lap and ran immediately for the little train ride set up not too far away.

The second girl went up to Santa. Oliver thought she was probably about his and Tommy’s age, but he’d never met her. Laurel was lifted onto Santa’s lap and got an actual list out of her coat pocket.

“Now, you must be Laurel,” Santa said. “And I’m sure you and your sister have both been good girls this year. What would you like to ask me for Christmas?”

Laurel drew in a big breath and began. “For Christmas this year, I want Daddy to have the whole day off and for nobody to call in a one-eighty-seven or a two-oh-seven or a two-forty-six on the radio so he doesn’t have to leave while we open presents and eat dinner. I want all of his cases to be solved so he can keep being the best detective in the whole wide world. And I want all of Mommy’s students to turn in their work on time so she doesn’t worry about grading them. And I want her to get the—” she squinted at her list. “—Estée Lauder perfume she keeps reminding dad she’s running out of.”

Back where the parents stood, Oliver noticed the man that had brought his two daughters give a start, which he snickered into his scarf about.

The girl named Laurel wasn’t done. She and her sister had that in common. “I don’t know if Sara’s been good at all, but I trust your judgment, Santa. And it’s her birthday, too, so I want her to get the stuff she told you because you have to get presents on your birthday.”

Santa chuckled. “Well, I’m sure I can make that happen. But what would you like for Christmas, my dear?”

Laurel blinked and looked up with wide, green eyes. “I thought about it a lot, but I already have a lot of toys. And I can get all the books I want at the library. Mom’s allergic to fur, so we can’t have pets. Our house isn’t big enough for a shark, and they aren’t pets anyway.”

“Perhaps not. But—”

“The teacher at school had us take home a card with another kid’s name and what they wanted for Christmas. I got Tim, and he wanted a new basketball, and we’re gonna buy it today. But I hope he gets other presents from you, too, Santa.”

Oliver looked down at his list with all the things he had written that he wanted. His parents could probably buy it all for him and then some. What was he asking Santa for it for if there were other kids who didn’t get presents at Christmas unless other people were buying them?

Maybe Santa’s business wasn’t doing very well, and that was why Laurel had been asked to buy another kid’s basketball. Maybe that was why all those other Santas at the stores had that pail to drop money in. 

“That’s very kind of you, Laurel. I’ll make sure to check my list for Tim,” Santa promised. “But was there anything at all you’d want for yourself? Big or small.”

“Well, maybe my own room would be nice,” Laurel said, a smile causing a little dimple to appear at the corner of her mouth. Oliver felt sort of warm all over seeing it.

Santa gave another big, booming laugh. “A new room might fit a little snug in my sack of presents, but I’ll see what I can do, young lady. Now then, you just keep smiling for our picture, hm?”

They took it, and Laurel hopped off Santa’s lap while chirping a, “Thank you!” She ran out of the little enclosure, and Oliver watched her go.

“Come forward, young man!”

Tommy nudged him in the back. “Ollie, it’s your turn.”

“Oh.” He hurried forward towards Santa, who smiled down at him. Oliver was placed in his lap.

“And what would you like for Christmas this year?”

“Uh…” Oliver looked down at his list again. A lot of what he wanted on it was stuff Tommy was asking for, too. All the movies and games, anyway. He wanted his own, but they could share, couldn’t they?

“I wanted a buncha stuff,” he told Santa, “but I don’t need it if other kids aren’t gonna get presents this year.”

Santa blinked. “Oh. Well, I don’t know that you need to worry too much about that—”

“I got money. If you need to buy more stuff for the elves to make the presents, or if you gotta pay them more for working more.” He knew it was called something, but he couldn’t remember what his dad had said. He tuned out most of what his dad said whenever they were at the office, content to sip his soda and watch the city out the big windows. Oliver unzipped the pocket of his jacket that held the paper bill that meant one-hundred and tried to pass it to Santa, but the old man closed Oliver’s hand around.

“That’s very kind of you, young man, but I assure you that I have everything I need at the North Pole. Now then, let’s see what’s on your list.”

Oliver didn’t see how Santa could be right if other kids had to ask strangers to buy their gifts for them, and he read off his list with much less enthusiasm than he had felt while waiting in line. Santa directed him to look at the camera that he mustered up a smile for, then he jumped off his lap and rushed out of the gated area. 

He ran right up to Raisa, who patted his cheek and said, “Mr. Oliver, do you still have your allowance?”

He patted the pocket to check and nodded. “How come Santa didn’t want my money?”

“Because Santa doesn’t deliver toys for money.”

“Then how’s he pay for anything?” Something didn’t make sense with this whole setup, but Oliver didn’t know what.

Raisa shook her head, smiling indulgently after him. “Why don’t you save yourself and Mr. Tommy a spot in the line for the train?”

“Okay.” He turned and walked over there, still stewing over it, and nearly walked right into the back of a girl. “Sorry,” he blurted, backing up a step.

She turned around, and Oliver realized it was Laurel, the girl who had been in line ahead of him, the girl who had said other kids weren’t getting presents unless someone else bought them.

“That was really nice what you did,” Laurel told him.

“You saw that?” For some reason, his cheeks started to burn and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

Laurel nodded. “There’s lots of toy drives in the city. They ask people for money if they can give it. My daddy calls it charity.”

He’d heard that word before. His mom and dad went out at night all the time for charity. Oliver was supposed to do that, too, when he grew up.

“Okay. I’ll ask my dad about it.” If Santa didn’t want money, he’d find someone else to give the other kids presents. Oliver didn’t think the other kids could all be on the naughty list; he’d made the nice list, and he knew he hadn’t been as good as he could have been this year.

The train stopped, and all the kids currently on it got off, Laurel’s sister among them. One of the workers opened the little gate he, Laurel and a few other kids stood by. “All aboard!”

They both walked in, Laurel picking a seat near the middle. Oliver hovered by her, looking back to see Tommy was only just getting his picture with Santa.

A soft thumping sound caused him to look back at Laurel, who patted the bench beside her. “You can sit with me if you want.”

“Okay!” He sat down quickly, trying not to feel too guilty that Tommy was probably running over right now to get on the train. There were still open seats behind them. “I’m Ollie,” he added, realizing he hadn’t actually introduced himself.

“I’m Laurel,” she said.

The train whistle blew, and together they were off.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews! 3-5: Louie’s Eleven!

In my most anticipated ep of this batch, Louie’s Ocean’s Eleven esque heist gets derailed by his own ego and someone pulling a Die Hard while Donald finds love in an elevator living it up when he’s going down with the best Daisy in history. Romantic musical numbers, people being dicks, and suprise returns insure. Hey you kooky beatniks there’s gonna be a heist, tonnnniggghtttt under the cut. 

If the little intro blurb didn’t give it away, i’ve been waiting for this one all season, with the last two being okay but not amazing and a suprise treat respectivley. WIth Daisy debuting, a heist (a genre I love and need to watch more of) and the Cablleros, expectations were high... and met and exceded. Yeah while the show has disapointed me before (The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks, which this episode is somehow a sequel to is the prime example. ) with an episode I was chomping at the bit for this one delivered.  The basic setup is as you’d expect: Donald, now having less parental obligations has gotten the Cablleros back together. It’s something Frank hinted at in the EW interview for this episode: That they wanted to explore just what Donald would do now he could ease up a bit. He’s not alone anymore: He trusts Scrooge again, He has Beakly to educate them and his sister to split parenting duties with and make up for lost time. He’s in a good place and has freedom for the first time in 10 years, almost 11... so what DOES he do with it? Up until now his life has been his kids: Sure his overproection of them and trying to get them away from Scrooge was more him projecting over his issues with Della and his childhood in general, but he still meant well on some level. Their his world, the thing he cares most about, and while the boys can be disprectful it’s been shown multiple times they truly love their adopted dad as much as their newly returned mom and Donald did an outstanding job raising them warts and all. What do you do when your life has been one thing for a good third of it?  It’s why I think him trying to get famous through his music makes a lot of sense: His college days and adventures were a happy time for him: hanging out with his best friends, doing something he truly loved, and doing something normal at the same time. So of course the idea of having them not only presumibly move to the area for this, so he has friends close again, and do something from a time he was truly happy... of course he’d jump on that.  But given our trio consists of a disaster area with horrible planning skills 90% of the time, a boisterous rooster, and a playboy Parrot, their plana mounts to “Go to rich people’s bathrooms and plkay and hope they don’t get thrown out”. Since that failed, Louie, being Louie steps in with a crooked contract (Which Donald relucntantly signs after Panchito has already forged his name) and an elaborate heist on tastemaker Emma Glamour’s annual party with the help of his 11: Louie himself, Dewey (More on him in a minute), one of the background characters, the cabs, webby, Huey (whose suprised to find out he just did a forgery), Gyro (who is TOTALLY not in just to test out his new headsets which TOTALLY don’t make your head go pop if you wear them too long) and Manny as his trump card.  But naturally this being a heist pastiche, things go wrong from the start: Turns out Glamour beefed up security with an old familiar face: Falcon Graves, who you may remember from infernal internship and was freaking awesome and kinda hot. He’s back, and Dewey’s understandably afraid of Graves spotting him given last time they met Dewey threw him off a roof.  Things naturally snowball from there: An attempt to have Donald grab a stage pass from Glamour’s assitant, Daisy, aka the reason everyone anticipated this episode so much including me, goes sideways because well Donald and he gets trapped in the elevator with her strapped together. Oh and she finds out he’s a party crasher here for his own plans. Great first meeting.  Meanwhile Jose and Panchito fail to get past the rest of security, Louie continues to undervalue Dewey and fails to schmooze Glamour, and oh yeah: Graves was pulling a Die Hard the entire time in a really nice twist I didn’t see coming. Graves brings in some familiar hired goons: The smashnikovs and Gabby McStabberson from the pilot, back again if in a minor role. The night is full of many happy returns, but we’ll get to the last suprise guest in a second. Meanwhile Donald bonds with Daisy as both feel ignored: Daisy is revealed to, in line with her charcter in general, be a budding fashion designer who wants her dress, the stunning green number that’s been circulating around, to get on the list and hoped by showing it to Glamour at the party and helping plan it, she’d throw her a bone. I REALLY like Daisy’s character here a LOT. She has Daisy’s empathy, love of fashion, with some added ambition and combat prowess, more on that in a second, while still being willing to call someone out if she has to, and even when she does so to Donald it is after she finds out he was gatecrashing her one shot at getting ahead in her dream career, calming down when she gets an understanding of his reasons and just how lonely he truly feels. Frank scraped together every good part of every version of daisy and left her old, horribly outdated and sexist “nagging girlfriend/wife from every sitcom that came decades after this character was created” characterization used at times dead and buried.  Speaking of Donald, the musical number was utterly beautiful, the clear highlight of the episode and wonderfully romantic, while also heartbreaking: and Donald not being listend to DOES really tie into his character for me: no one really has: Della and Scrooge flat out ignored his concerns about space travel, while the boys love him they will, with Huey being the outlier, ignore or dispresct him frequently. And even his two best friends bicker over their own directions for the bands while ignoring him up to the end, something I DO wish had gotten more focus, as do I wish the cabs had gotten just a touch more in general as their mostly off to the side. That being said I like this: besides being somewhat meta given donald’s spare use in season 1 and being only in about half of season 2, I like this: It shows that while he appears to take his family ignroing waht he wants constantly in stride inside he jsut wants SOMEONE to care about what he wants and needs, genuinely care. I mean “The Golden Spear” did show they TRY at times, with the cruise being an especially nice gesture, but most of the time they generally don’t think about donald when planning family outings or what not, it’s just one adventure after another with him left in the dust or fearing for his life. He’s a great adventuer, truly legendary.. but he dosen’t LIKE adventuering. He just wants someone who cares about what he wants.. and he’s found it in someone looking for the same and seeing not someone they love but don’t respect.. but a sweet kind man who just wants for someone to respect what he wants and genuinelyw ork at doing that. And he got it.  Before we get to the climax the other main plot, since both plots share equal time this ep really and are really just two halfs of the same main plot, the Dewey and Louie plot is a bit weaker. It’s not BAD but it is predictable, though it was nice to see Louie be the control freak and it makes sense: hustling what he’s good at so of course he wants to see his plan go through and get the glory... but he fails to be actually GOOD at heisting whicha lso makes sense: Louie’s good at manipulationa nd seeing angles.. but he’s so caught up in his own scheme, he can’t see them and is blind to the value of his own brother. While Deweey can be massively unehlpful and attention whorish, he does have a genuine knowledge of the partya nd Glamour that woudl’ve made things go faster, and it does fit his character enough not to be jaring and the ending of it, with Dewey providing a critical distraction AND getting on the list himself, whlie Louie saves his eleven and a huge fight with them, and daisy who proves every bit as badass and prone to bersekerr rages as her man, that’s a treat to see, is predictable, though the bit of Louie giving Dewey a new heist plan with his brother included and admitting he was wrong wa nice. It’s not bad, it just pales in comaprison to the donsy plot right next to it that’s so much fresher and more intersting.  However while the main brother conflict is mostly passable, the rest of the heist is wells et up and the ep as a whole shot up from good to great witht he climax, starting with a big, wonderful, and fucking hilarous reveal: Graves was after Glamour’s phone, which acesses her website and sold it off to the highest bidder.. and the second we find out that was his plan, it becomes obvious just whose coming back: Beaksy is back, to graves utter horror after the fiasco from last time, as he wants on the list. And while the minute graves mentioned he was selling off Emma’s phone I could tell Beaks was about to make his way in, the show did throw me a genuine , wonderful curveball: Emma is beaks mother. Given his mom is a cold and distant assholish tastemaker and “Coach Dad” apparently mocked his unatheltic son, it explains.. pretty much everything really. Graves is mortified and eventually just plans to say screw it and kill both for annoying him, another bit I like as it shows even a consumate professional can get fed up with the beaks family, understandably their Duckberg’s version of the Sapperstiens at this point, but Emma is saved by Daisy, who after Graves whaleson donald, returns the favor and beats the shit out of him. It twas glorious.  So things wrap up: everyone’s new faviorite couple takes turns telling Emma off who actually concedes to Daisy telling her someone needed to stand up to her, and puts her dress ont he list, graves is arressed by Detective Cabrera (to my utter delight, one last nice suprise) and the boys play their number.. they don’t get on the list because donald can’t sing, but Daisy is smitten and Donald likewise. Also beaks is squatted next to his mom whining like a petulant child because of course he is. All in all a great ending As you could tell I loved this ep. While again the main dewey and louie conflict was just kinda stock and predictable, the amount of energy and heart in the rest of the episode easily overrides it, and I was delighted both to see Graves come back and to see beaks suprise appearnce tying him to both of the episodes antagonists. Overall a well plotted fun romp despite it’s flaws and one of the highlights so far. An instant classic. As for where it ranks... 1. Quack Pack 2. Louie’s Eleven 3. Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! 4. The Lost Harp of MIrvana! 6. Double O Duck . HOpe you liked the review and if there’s any other episode from the first two seasons of the reboot or from the original, or from the disney afternoon or the animated marvel canon, just throw me a message or an ask. Later days.  Stray thoughts; 1. Huey’s bit was gold and I feel for the poor boy.  2. I was mildly disapointed the eleven mostly included exactly who you thought and Manny when we have a rather large supporitng cast to pull from. 

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #13- Swerve Doesn’t Have Any Friends

Okay, let’s go ahead and get this out of the way.

It’s a FUCKING SPORTS BRA AND RUNNING SHORTS ALEX.

And don’t think I don’t see that friggin’ cleavage alien back there. You ain’t slick.

I’m going to make it a law that all comic book artists learn how to draw clothes that don’t vacuum-seal themselves to women’s bodies. Milne gets six months for this infraction alone, and Roche gets a year for the initial bra crime he committed back in Last Stand. Learn how women’s underwear works, you ninnies.

Our issue opens up with Swerve stretching his radio personality muscles.

Oh, Guido Guidi, whisk me away to flights of fancy!

Our artist for this issue is none other than Guido Guidi, ascended from fanwork to deliver us from evil with his near-superhuman ability to emulate other artists’ styles and just make things look really pretty. He was responsible for the mythos pages in the 2012 Annual, AKA the best part. He also filled in on some of the art for Last Stand of the Wreckers, not that I really noticed because he’s just that good.

Swerve lets Blurr know that while it might have looked like the Lost Light had exploded, thus killing everyone onboard back in issue #1, that isn’t actually what happened. I’m glad someone filled in the Cybertronian populace on that.

I was never great at math, but those speech bubbles might be phoning it in a bit.

Swerve says that he’s having a great time on the quest, despite all the hiccups, and we get an explanation for why this long-range communications system hasn’t been seen prior to this point. It’s been broken for a while- most likely due to the quantum jump that started the series off with a bang- but Blaster managed to get it running again. Good job, Blaster. With this little setup for our framing device out of the way, we get into the meat of the story.

Swerve is being nosey about things that weren’t any of his business, happening in a closed off room, when Drift drags him down the hall and hid him away for safety. Swerve doesn’t much appreciate being manhandled, but there’s a method to the madness here.

Drift’s nose has vacated the premises once again, so we’re just going to have to deal with that. And how shapely does one have to be to be known as “the guy with the legs”? I mean, Drift is RIGHT THERE.

Drift uses his own powerful legs to kick down the door to Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room. It turns out that the horrific screaming wasn’t the sound of a murder or sexual relations taking place, but rather that of Cyclonus singing in Old Cybertronian.

My god, he’s completely enamored with this unrepentant murder machine.

We are just all up in Cyclonus’ grill for this panel. Nothing but lips. Was this specified in the script? Because it feels like it might have been specified in the script.

Old Cybertronian, or the Primal Vernacular as some might call it, was last seen in general when Rodimus channeled the will of the trapped Titan all across Tailgate’s chest. It was last seen spoken when we met Vos, the terrible murder gremlin who turns into a gun and uses his face to cause puncture trauma.

Comic books are wild, y’all.

Now that we’ve established that no one’s being killed, Drift goes back to what he was doing earlier, with Swerve deciding to tag along because he’s horrifically lonely. He invites Drift to come room up with him, because I guess if you’re going to sell off your comatose roommate’s bed out from under him, you might as well go for the guy who’s third in command,  is probably one of the hottest guys on the ship, and slices people into chunky salsa if they try anything funny.

Drift politely declines, and awkwardly removes himself from the conversation when Swerve doesn’t take the hint, returning to his sword lesson with Rodimus.

Oh thank god, the obnoxiously pink room is back.

Ultra Magnus bursts into the room, appalled by the actions of his fellow crew members. Some of his concerns are well-placed. Others, well…

Is- is that another friggin’ retainer on those lower teeth? Why does this design choice keep showing up?

So Magnus has imprisoned roughly a third of the ship at this point, and Rodimus suggests he take a chill pill. Magnus doesn’t even know what a chill pill even is, so we’re forced to make use of our most dangerous weapon- the threat of a good time, courtesy of Swerve.

The fact that Ultra Magnus hasn’t reduced Swerve to an oil stain on the floor is genuinely astounding. The guy has zero respect for bureaucracy or proper business management. It has been MONTHS, you dinky little man, get your act together as a business owner.

Swerve takes the bribe, and soon everyone’s shipping off to Hedonia, where the drinks are plentiful and the women… well, most of the Lost Lighters don’t even know what a woman is, so that aspect doesn’t really come into play. Thanks, Furman.

Also, Rung’s back to normal. Don’t worry about it, not a big deal.

Swerve isn’t having much luck on his Roommate Quest, as Tailgate spurns his advances, stating that he’s good kicking it with Cyclonus, mainly because they’re both old as shit.

I see we haven’t quite hit the threshold on the “Cyclonus is allowed to have friends now” meter. Give it a few more issues, I’m sure we’ll get there.

Man, zero for two for Swerve on trying to get a hot roommate. Maybe third time’s a charm?

Rodimus pops into the back of the shuttle to remind everyone that their entire race is more or less despised by the entire galaxy, and to play it safe by using their holomatter avatars.

The revamp by Brainstorm and Rung is truly a blessing, because the avatars in IDW were awful to look at up to this point.

Y’all, that is HOT ROD. Jesus wept.

Getting back to Tailgate’s questionable taste in companionship, Tailgate asks if Swerve and Blurr connected right away. Swerve gives him an affirmative, then starts listing off the guy’s racing stats until Ultra Magnus plops down between the two of them, drawn in by the melodious sound of statistics.

Magnus is having a hard time relaxing, but he’s giving it his best, and I think that’s very commendable of him. It’s hard trying new things.

On the surface of Hedonia, it would appear the B-Movies are having a Pride event in the entertainment district.

Okay, moment of truth- show us those avatars!

Oh thank god, they aren’t totally hideous. Though, isn’t Rewind old as shit? I guess youth is a state of mind. Still, I can’t believe we missed out on silver fox Rewind.

Rung’s line is in response to folks at the time claiming that Rung was a self-insert character, which is interesting, because we’ve already seen what a self-insert looks like when it’s Roberts doing the inserting, and we’ve also seen his Mary Sues.

Rung, while an original character who had appeared in Roberts’ pre-professional works (a single line of text in Eugenesis, where he was a psychiatry play-on-words), he isn’t what I’d consider a Mary Sue. Mary Sues are usually stunningly beautiful, beloved by their peers, insanely talented in ways that no other character is, and typically have some sort of connection to another character that more or less forces them into the story despite not needing to exist.

Mary Sues don’t get their friggin’ heads exploded, or exist in a constantly-forgettable state. Sure, he’s the only therapist we’ve ever seen in the Transformers franchise, but there was kind of a massive need for that sort of character to be created, seeing as all of these sons of guns have PTSD and clinical depression. And, as we’ve seen in previous issues and will continue to see later on, he’s really not even that great at it.

That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have certain traits befitting such a characterization, merely that they don’t add up to equal that sort of whole by issue #13. Transformers (2009)-era Drift is way closer to a true Mary Sue than Rung is.

Anyway, where the hell did Tailgate get to?

They really just let Frodo Baggins in this bar all babybjörned up, huh? Does Tailgate even know what a baby even is at this point? Does he just think he’s a very small person? How much human media has he consumed? We haven’t gotten into the reproductive process for the continuity yet, but fresh Cybertronians aren’t exactly a one-to-one to human infants. Damn it, Roberts, what the fuck am I supposed to make of Babygate?

Whirl’s off in the corner, disguised as a 12-year old girl who’s fucking STRAPPED. Magnus has disappeared, but Rewind locates him pretty easily as Rung makes a comment about Magnus needing to make an appointment with him.

Oh hey, Verity. Been a minute. Careful, ol’ six-eyes over there is leering at you.

The fellas come back to the bar as they truly are, and sit down for a round of drinks. Whirl gets Ultra Magnus a drink that sounds disturbingly like a Cybertronian equivalent to Milk Coke, and we get a little anatomy lesson. Transformers have something called a Fuel Intake Moderation chip, something that keeps them from getting drunk on pretty much the only thing they can consume. Swerve suggests Magnus turn his off so he can have a good time- which I don’t personally agree with, but this is Captain Stick-in-the-Mud we’re talking about here. Magnus gives it a shot.

And that’s a series wrap on Ultra Magnus!

No, the man’s just got no tolerance and has been knocked the hell out by his drink. Things begin devolving. Tailgate is crying. Skids has found out that Whirl didn’t give Magnus Milk Coke at all, but instead the equivalent of liquid cocaine. Swerve is convinced he’s going to prison. Rewind is filming the whole thing.

Nobody actually checks to see if Magnus is actually dead, until Rung gets around to it. Swerve, you’re a doctor by original trade, what the hell are you doing?

The boys sit Magnus at the table to wait out his nap. Hours later, nothing’s changed, except that they’ve started up the nemesis game, and Whirl’s decided he’s going to be rude about monoformers being monoformers. Rung gives a non-answer, because that’s just who he is as a person. Skids names Misfire as his worst enemy, only because he’s still missing a good chunk of memory and can’t remember if he had a worst enemy, but still wants to contribute to the conversation.

Rung, don’t be a dick, he did his best. You were right on top of Fort Max, it was a tricky shot.

Ultra Magnus finally starts waking up, and that’s the point where everyone decides to foot Swerve with the bill for the emotional labor he’s going to have to perform by explaining just what the friggity-frack happened.

Magnus starts laughing, then crying, then offloads his troubles onto Swerve. Magnus feels like he just doesn’t fit in on the Lost Light. He’s just trying to do his job and everyone makes fun of him, or disrespects his authority. He’s trying, he really is, but he’s just not built for post-war life. He’s actually tried to leave his position on the Lost Light, but they just keep pulling him back in.

Probably doesn’t help that Rodimus seems more interested in Drift’s opinion on matters than his own SIC half the time.

Oh no, he’s making digs at the things Swerve’s sensitive about. Where is Rung?

Magnus just wants to be understood, y’know? He’s a fully realized creation. He’s got interests. Like music! And the fact that Swerve is missing his Autobot badge!

This was the point where MTMTE was still bouncing back and forth on whether it wanted to commit to the crotch badge. It was a tumultuous time for everyone, very dark days.

WHERE THE FUCK IS RUNG

Magnus, having had enough of sharing his feelings, takes another sip of his cocaine and slips back into unconsciousness. Swerve admits to his limp body that people don’t actually like him, but rather only stick around because of what he can offer- namely, a good time.

The rest of the Swerve posse comes back, with Cyclones having joined the party. Rung shows off his new model ship, which gets Rewind started on his movie collection. He pulls up the opening ceremony for the Ark 1. Y’know, the Ark 1, that ship that Cyclonus was on that disappeared into the Dead Universe for six million years. The Ark 1 that Tailgate was supposed to be on.

Before we can get started however, someone throws the model at Rewind’s head.

That someone is none other than Cyclonus, who proceeds to fly into a rage, throwing tables and shoving the still-unconscious Ultra Magnus to the floor. My word, what a reaction! What could possibly be setting him off so much? Does he not like being reminded of his fated trip to the stars? Is this a manifestation of trauma from that event?

Who knows? No time for questions, Skids is too busy punching him in the face.

Tailgate intervenes, explaining that because Cyclonus and himself are so goddamn old, the engex Cyclonus consumed is wreaking havoc on his body. He tells the rest of them to go on while he tries to calm Cyclonus down. Interesting that Rewind doesn’t have any sort of input on this, given that he is also super fucking old, but there’s no time for questions! We’ve got to get Ultra Magnus back on the shuttle in the next 20 minutes, or else they’ll be stuck on Hedonia FOREVER.

They start throwing Magnus on the floor repeatedly, trying to get his t-cog to spin up. No dice, however.

It’s 4AM. Do you know where your Domey is? Because Rewind sure as hell doesn’t.

Okay, time for Plan B.

I’m guessing not, Rung. I’m guessing not.

Using Magnus as a trampoline does the trick, and the boys are rewarded with the sight of Magnus’ alt-mode… resting on its roof, upside down. They get him sorted, pile in the cab- Rewind is driving, which leads me to believe he at least has some experience handling a vehicle. Chromedome does turn into a car…

I don’t even know what that sort of activity implies for a Transformer. We won’t go any further down this line of thought.

The boys manage to get Ultra Magnus to the shuttle in time, and all’s well that ends well!

This is about the time that Blaster knocks on the glass at Swerve to wrap things up, seeing as he’s been at this for over nine hours now. There’s one last little aside before we’re done with our story, however, and it involves just what happened in the bar after everyone else left.

Cyclonus calmed down almost immediately after the rest of the guys left, paying for what he broke and inviting Tailgate to have a seat.

Well, I say invite, but it’s really more of an order.

If you’d already figured out at this point that this jumpy little marshmallow was lying about being the biggest badass who ever lived, a gold star for you! It turns out, dear Tailgate has been crafting a fabrication, spinning a yarn, telling a tall tale since Day One on the Lost Light. The story has been feeding us a steady diet of fish the whole time!

Red herring!

Red herring!

Red herring of Tailgate’s own design! Autopedia’s mods are a friggin’ joke.

Tailgate was supposed to be a the Ark 1 launch, but it was because he was on the cleanup crew. Boy’s a sluicer, and his arm SHOULD say "waste disposal”. Through a cunning use of his wits and cold reading, Tailgate faked his way through the dismantling of the bomb on Temptoria. A smart boy, he is, if not a bit self-centered.

Which brings us to why exactly Cyclonus freaked out in the bar: he wasn’t having an episode, but rather faking a reaction to prevent Tailgate’s lie from being exposed. He still thinks that Tailgate should come clean about this whole thing, before things get really messy, but it wouldn’t be an issue of MTMTE without some raw-ass emotions getting thrown about.

Cyclonus, who hasn’t allowed himself to feel anything other than simmering rage or national pride for over six million years, is beginning to feel something for Tailgate.

That feeling is sympathy, and maybe a little pity.

He offers to teach Tailgate a song to help him feel better, because that’s what he does when he has feelings.

And given that Cyclonus seems to sing often enough that Tailgate’s gotten used to the horrific sound, it might be that Cyclonus has feelings a hell of a lot more often than he lets on.

Roberts, how many times are you going to make Tailgate cry? How much pain are you going to subject him to before you’re satisfied?

The scene closes out on the two of them getting their karaoke on in the empty bar, in the god-awful language that is Old Cybertronian. I can only imagine that they get kicked out of the bar pretty quickly after this.

Getting back to the present, Swerve has finally, finally finished his story, closing out with an invitation for Blurr to come visit Swerve’s.

Blaster gets ready to shoot one hell of a voice message at Blurr, but there’s a problem; the number Swerve has isn’t long enough to be a personal hailing frequency.

Yeah, turns out that Tailgate isn’t the only liar on board the Lost Light.

Four million years ago, Swerve met Blurr at a publicity event, got way too friendly with a celebrity, pestered the guy until he gave him a fake number, and has convinced himself that he made a life-long friend to this very day.

Big oof.

Later, back at Swerve’s, Swerve is busy cleaning the glassware when Ultra Magnus comes in, sober and having just gotten out of surgery to fix his fuel tanks. Guess that second sip of Nucleon really wasn’t a good idea.

Swerve tries to tell a lie about what happened the night before, only to have the dawning horror that Magnus remembered the entire night, as he’s presented with a new badge. Swerve, bolstered by the fact that, while Magnus didn’t enjoy the previous evening, he appreciated having company, begins to ask Magnus if he’d want to room with him.

Wow, zero for three! That’s rough, buddy.

Kind of a bummer end to this whole issue, but it was still decently light, tone-wise, for MTMTE. A great deal of fun was had, in between all the mortifying reveals of our characters inner demons.

...Well, shit.

[ninastarkov]

top 5 pieces of star wars content?

(ask me my top five anything)

oooh this is a REALLY good one i have so much to say. first off that there are a lot of other pieces of content i wish i could have included but this is the final list. it also got a little long so placing it under the cut:

1. siege of mandalore arc, tcw

it’s so good. all of maul’s lines (‘there is no justice, no order except the one that replaces it!’ that’s a movie line right there). the disaster lineage pain is unparalleled. every obi wan and ahsoka interaction makes me wan to cry. and this is the last we see of anakin as anakin in tcw. that last conversation between him and ahsoka before malachor in rebels.

also, my favorite duo is ahsoka and rex and this is the arc that fed my clowning. chaotic siblings. they work together so flawlessly in shattered and victory and death it’s so clear they’ve been fighting together for years and they’re family and ahhsjdjdjsjsh—

plus jesse! i’m so glad we got more of him but also not glad because :(( you know :(( and that last scene with vader and the venator wreckage?? one of the best shots in all of tcw i will fight anyone on this.

2. fives’ s6 chip arc in tcw

(does this arc have an actual name?) honestly i can barely watch this arc (i skipped it the last time i rewatched tcw) because it frustrates me so much but it deserves its spot here, because it’s a perfect and heartbreaking insight into why palpatine won. fives did everything right—he tried to save tup, he found out about the chip and removed his own, he went back to coruscant to try and let people know of it, when that went wrong he went to his captain and general. and he still died.

yes, palpatine was pulling the strings behind it all, but there were so many other factors in the republic and clones and jedi’s demise and this arc pointed them out. how the kaminoans saw the clones as products. how anakin was unwilling to believe the chancellor could do wrong. how the jedi didn’t investigate at all (they had opportunity to look into it and chose not to. even if they couldn’t have prevented the order, they knew of the possibility of chips inside the clones heads that would take away their free will and decided to do nothing.) it points out how the jedi have become beholden to the politics of the republic. and above all it is the tragedy of the clones, dying for a republic that betrays them. but also, fives dies yes, but not for nothing. without him, ahsoka and rex would have died. it’s not all we hoped for but it’s something and it’s because of him.

3. season one finale of the mandalorian

oooh this was almost 2 because i think it is really good but tcw is first in my heart. this could be top five for just that one line “mandalorian isn’t a race, it’s a creed” absolutely incredible i love it. i could go on about it for days. so glad they moved away from what happened in tcw with it being a race and everyone being white. also that scene at the beginning with the scout troopers like ‘gideon just killed another trooper for interrupting him it’s gonna be a while’ why was that so funny. and gideon introduction!! he’s a very interesting villain. and finally, last scene with gideon and the darksaber because it was me and everyone else who watched tcw going bonkers over here.

4. the force awakens (HEAR ME OUT)

a controversial one i know—but for me personally, the setup in this movie was great, even if the rest of the sequels didn’t deliver. i could see the setup for force sensitive finn, rey as a queen who takes down kylo ren, poe as an up and coming leader of the rebellion. force sensitive finn is such a thing for me because i thought it was such a good idea and i was hoping that leia or something would end up training him and he’d use it and try to free other stormtroopers like. wouldn’t that have been so good? and i could see that in the future based on this movie. also the comedy is amazing (‘stay calm stay calm. i’m talking to myself’)

5. malachor in star wars rebels

GAH. absolutely amazing. starting from the beginning, the cool sith rock and how they fell through the ground? i love seeing obscure bits of past history that aren’t really explained and malachor is such a good example of that. all the jedi and sith remains of lightsabers and stuff, like you know there was a huge battle but what for? when? we don’t know. i love that stuff. maul comes back again i love that it’s almost a running joke at this point. he works with the jedi and you’re like oh maybe he’s better, but you get the reminder that he’ll do anything in search for revenge when he blinds kanan. just really good insight into his character.

the way ahsoka cuts part of vader’s helmet and the ‘ahsoka’ that’s half anakin voice and half vader voice is gut-wrenching. and the ‘i won’t leave you, not this time’ says SO MUCH about the guilt ahsoka has been carrying around like. such a well written episode. and when they come off the ship back on the base and rex just knows ahsoka is gone that honestly ripped my heart in two. his expression. you get all of this old pain in a new context (rebels) and it’s done so well.