#this was in my drafts and I can't remember why I didn't post it omg

[hello-vampire-kitty]

Servamp chapter 147 spoilers

I've had this in my drafts for a while, but I was busy with some stuff and I haven't been able to post... I mostly wrote about the references.

In the Mirror World, Lily is Mikuni's Servamp and he was named "Judith". (Book of Judith).

So Mikuni has 3 contracts? I guess it was just an assumption that Eves can only have one.

Another reference here is the name of the technique that was used. "Salome" (Girl Hell)

There are two women named Salome in the Bible and most likely the story of the one who requested the beheading John the Baptist was the one the technique was based on.

Girl Hell might be a reference to a collection of stories by Yumeno Kyusaku.

Mikuni: "Even with all the repetitions so far, it’s happened a few times.

When you and Kuro come into contact, it makes you remember the 'first loop' (he means the original timeline) and it looks like the Count’s magic isn’t very effective on the Servamps who were inside the shrine when it was activated. That’s why only your contact with Sloth causes the magic to come apart"

So yeah, that's why Kuro and Tsubaki remember the original world, but according to the previous chapters, only Tsubaki could tell that Mikuni "reset" the world a few times.

Uhm, hello? Did Mahiru and Tsubaki make a temporary contract? Is Tsubaki special and didn't need a name and item? Is it considered a temporary contract because only one of the conditions was met? Tsubaki wasn't given an item or another name, so...yeah. It could be that the same conditions don't apply to him?

Mahiru couldn't use magic because he died in the original timeline... His mother brought him back using a forbidden spell that she wanted to use for her parents... In the Mirror World, since Mahiru didn't die, he can use magic. Mikuni looks shocked doesn't he? Was that the first time Mahiru tried to use his magician power? Why didn't Mikuni try getting rid of Mahiru? I mean, he could have killed him using his Servamps and thus no danger of weakening the spell that he used to create the Mirror World. Perhaps, he can't.

Maybe it's a condition from Germaine? Like, c'mon, he's the creator of Servamps, is he really obeying Mikuni's every order? He must have given Mikuni some conditions and maybe not harming Mahiru is one of them because he's important to Kuro and Germaine might use him to get Kuro on his side. Just like Mikuni said, only Kuro and Mahiru are able to cause Germaine's spell to weaken.

So yeah...OMG, only two chapters left! :((

[sleeplesslark]

Fic writing ask game!

9, 10, 16, 26, 27

Omg thank you!

This gets ramble-y fast so going under a cut

9. How did you get into Fanfic writing?

I'm going to give two answers. How I started posting fanfic vs writing, if that makes sense.

I started writing and posting fanfic because I have always been more "in" fanfic than original fiction spaces. Idk why but the attitudes around writing in fanfic spaces have always gelled more with me. I wrote a lot of shorter fics but couldn't really get into it the way I could with original. I liked the process of fanfic more though, not having to advertise and not looking to make money of stories.

I struggled to find a fandom that clicked with me. The closest was Alice in Borderland but even then it just didn't stick in a hyperfixation way, more a "this is easy and fun" way. Original fiction was my hyperfixation for years.

Then, Kabuto. I've never hyperfixated harder than on him and writing for him was the reason for it. I think the best way to put it is that I'd never wanted to commit to a fanfic the way I did original fiction before Loyalty's Price. It's wasn't just, "this is technically done and I don't have further interest" it was "I want to write this story and write it well". In a way that's probably the best thing that happened to me writing wise, I hadn't finished a draft in almost a decade before LP because I got very perfectionist about it needing to sell and be worth real money.

What got me into Kabuto was initially his english voice actor's work (which is odd for me since I usually don't notice that stuff). Then it spiraled into me looking for fic and while I was complaining with a friend that I was curious about an exploration of him and Naruto's bond, which there wasn't much fic of, the friend told me to write it and I said "idk he seems happy with orochimaru. Ig i can't see how it would happen" pretty much verbatim. It was something on he Every-Kabuto account during the sannin deadlock that had me rethink that postiob and inspired the set up to LP (which is why the account gets a shout-out in LP fics). From there just trying to figure out Kabuto's voice and the Naruto world led to more analysis of the characters and series which led to more fic ideas...and now i hope genuinely I never stop writing him. It's the happiest I've felt writing since I started.

19. Are there any ships or characters you'd like to write but haven't yet?

Naruto, Misumi, and Yoroi. Headcanon, but I tend to have Misumi and Yoroi as survivors of the Nine-tails' attack, and unlike many kids they kind of remember it. I think it'd be fun to have Naruto interact with these two who were directly impacted by the Nine-Tails but are more neutral about it. Yoroi and Naruto also share something with the backstory I gave Yoroi that would be fun to explore.

Kabuto and Iruka, in a teacher student capacity more than a romance, but I tried to set up something for them in LP but it hasn't panned out, not enough room to let Iruka and Kabuto talk really.

I'm enamored with the idea of Iruka taking this polite but underpreforming student under his wing, not knowing he's a spy, and kinda pseudo adopting him alongside Naruto. I think his friendly but hardass vibe would be fun to give Kabuto as a parental figure and teacher.

16. What do you struggle the most with while writing?

Depends on the fic. I'd say generally anything physical like combat or smut that requires knowing where characters are in relation to each other and exactly how they're moving without it making it read like a script.

Resonance, I struggle with character voice, I hadn't written Misumi or Narutos perspective before which was a challenge, and tone. I don't want it to be too dark (lol it may have passed that signpost). I like analyzing my own work so:

Loyalty's Price: not just rehashing canon, I feel like I do sometimes. Early on confidence was a big issue. I could tell in LP and LP Interlude there were times I was almost like "haha yeah this scenario is impossible Kakashi wouldn't let Kabuto on the team" and talking to those readers rather than the people who were there for the what if.

This One's for the Lonely : (childhood friends au) characterization. Idk how to make Kabuto come off as Kabuto sometimes without his greatest tragedy. And plot, trying to decide the details of how this changes canon.

Inverse: (prison au) plot. It's meant to be very character focused but it can be hard to direct scenes or decide how to get to the ending. Part of me wants to give it a plot anyway but I'm not sure yet.

Shiver/Lose Yourself in Pieces: wording.

Oto's finest: characterization, Kabuto Misumi and Yoroi are a hard relationship to nail down.

I also compare fics to each other too much. I am too much of a perfectionist to the point where it actually inhibits more than helps.

26. Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing or do you jump right in?

Idk if this means before I start the fic or before the writing session and ahh, it varies. Sometimes I write and rewrite a paragraph for 45 mins before I get going. I generally outline as I draft whether that be on the computer or on paper and edit to that outline.

27. Are any of your fics based on personal experience?

How Kabuto and later Yoroi experience anxiety and dread is how I do. I don't do much research so I use personal experience with mental health stuff like that. Kabuto finding out about Nonou is more akin to like, a phobia-type fear and the way he feels post Sasori’s death and Yoroi generally is more like what ocd does to me.

If anyone else wants to ask me things and get a long rambling answer, this is the game!

[twilightofthe]

okay i put all my cranky thoughts into a separate post that's now drafted and it made me feel better so i'll be able to watch this episode now lol but if it gets me worked up again i'm posting the rant i'm sorry i cannot be helped or changed or saved <3

ANYWAY AHSOKA EP 2

also i forgot to say so last episode but kevin kiner my ABSOLUTE BELOVED the return of the king is real so happy to have you here my dude the ending and full theme was absolutely gorgeous

anywayyyyyy so i am guessing sabine did not make like satine and survived her shish kabobing

well there's ahsoka

oh yeah there's bean she's fine she'll be fine xD

damn filoni really gave more handwaving to having a character survive a major impalement vs me twisting myself into fucking knots writing anakin getting run through lmao

ahsoka sorry but actually i'm gonna blame u for this you still kinda seem like a mess and i don't think you were a very good teacher to sabine and now ur dropping back in on her when she's convenient to you?

well at least we know why she's so adamant against training baby yoda lol

ope here's goth girl and the fuuuuck is his NAME again i keep calling him fucking bryan

i like the fancy sithy-looking sundial tho

pfff second ep is "toil and trouble" guess we're getting witchy!

OH YEAH WAS SABINE'S KITTY OKAY

THEY BETTER BE OKAY

I SWEAR TO GOD

yea ahsoka what happened to showing up in the nick of time and saving kanan and ezra from inquisitors in rebels u were slowwww girlie

OK GOOD THE CAT IS OKAY

that's all that matters

ope one more droid hanging around ezra's place

GIRL UR SITTING UP ALREADY?!

GIRL HOW CAN U BREATHE

we do love the mechanic girl of my heart

sabine does love her explosions

no huyang hera just likes explosions

sabine works best under explosive pressure we LOVE HER

ope back to corellia i guess? we can reuse the old solo sets?

sabine

you were just

impaled

"but she's not the one who needs to hear it right now" ahhh there's the sabine and hera dialogue. ugh but i'm still not used to natasha and mary i can just hear tiya and vanessa doing it instead :(

WHY DO Y'ALL KEEP MAKING SABINE AND AHSOKA ANGRY EXES TF

"ancient ppl from a distant galaxy" waaaaaaait are they bringing in those eu dudes

no wait i think i remember something about these guys that was mention as the big bad in the canceled animated rebels sequel

or it could just be the chiss lmao

that could be it too, makes sense why they'd want thrawn

ok that is some real cool galactic map visuals i am an absolute sucker for a good starmap

ok but wait how the fuck did y'all get a map to thrawn anyway did the space whales write it

also sorry morgan but i don't personally think thrawn would go for u nothing personal you are hot but you don't quite seem his type

waaaait is fucking thrawn gonna have force sensitivity now THAT would be absolutely hilarious and he'd hate it so much

who's marrok i have no memory

y'all you can't just make thrawn work for you didn't he only work with the empire cuz he had to because it would advantage his people somehow (has read zero thrawn novels and only seen rebels)

please tell me sabine is in the fucking vents of ahsoka's ship

THERE'S THE GHOST WHERE IS CHOPPER

I AM NO LONGER FUCKING ASKING

okay so i think my issue with Mary is she doesn't have any of the same authority and purpose Hera's meant to hav

CHOPPER

CHOPPER

MY MURDERBOT

MY SON

MY ANGEL MY EVERYTHING

Anyway

yeah

oh yeah harping in that the new republic is a total fustercluck

ew a capitalist

bro you know hera used to steal from people like you for the rebellion

sdlkfjsdk omg sabine's mom needs to talk to the teacher to keep her from getting expelled

but also y'all sabine is like 25-30 right now she's not a kid

@ ahsoka bitch you have no fuckin clue what you're doing doooon't talk about readiness

y'know maybe the imperial era just advanced medicine so later impalements don't kill people

oh oh so it IS ezra's!

sabine go find luke he'd love to have you

STOP WITH THE GAY DIALOGUE

ok so yeah she likely doesn't have force sensitvity

goddammit huyang neverMIND

so sabine IS force sensitive :) and kanan and ezra just never brought it up :) great :)

hera my beautiful ship nerd ily

bitch do NOT fuck with hera she has more presence than anyone ever

hera my dude you know better than anyone that if a ship wants to take off you gotta go try and stop it in person

ah i have been waiting like 5 long years to watch hera best pilot there was kick aerial ass

we STAN

chopperrrrrrrrr

oh yeah ahsoka's fighting an inquisitor too lmao

CHOPPER GET THEIR ASS

CHOPPER ADD TO YOUR KILL COUNT

ok this hera and chopper banter is perfect i do love it

VICTORY FOR MY GHOSTS

oh and good job ahsoka lol

aghhh sabine and her therapy cat i'm ;_;

theeeeere's sabine's mando armor

SABINE AND KANAN'S FUCKIN KNIFE I'M GONNA EVEN IGNORE THE BAD MULAN HACKJOB ATTEMPT

okay it seems like mary's kinda on and off for hera so far, she has her moments but she can't hold them

rosario keeps losing me i'm sorryyyyyyyy

natasha is doing GREAT

aaaaaand we redoing the end of the rebels epilogue!

god this makes me miss zeb

and kanan obvs but i've come to accept his death

zeb's still hanging around where is he!!!!!

ah all is right

sabine has her gay haircut back

here we go gay roadtrip to find ezra time

alright so i'm still not really vibing with jedi!sabine at All but i have concluded that this show is watchable but honestly not that good, writing-wise, sorry dave, so i think i'll be able to watch it with my brain turned off

goddammit first i thought the holograms visiting morgan were nightsister witch ghosts xD

RIGHT RIGHT HIS NAME IS BAYLAN NOT BRYAN

morgan stop simping for thrawn i guaranTEE he's not your type

oKAY

we are through with the two episodes! it is very late for me so i'm gonna sit and think on what i've seen so far and shitpost a little. i did really like seeing my rebels blorbos again even if the live action actors don't quite have their groove yet. obviously very excited to retrieve ezra <3 so yeah that was that and i'll be back for more next week!

[star4daisy]

Wife on her duty as a perfect wife i'm!

For the asking game, babe. Give me what i need... 3, 4, 14, 17, 19, 30, 35, and 43 (even tho i already know the answer).

Lov u sfm🖤

omg it was a joke luv <3

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

I'm the worst person to answer this I have no process sometimes I plan everything out and then write based on that and actually do what I planned, most times the characters take life and change everything and I keep trying to go back to the original plan and sometimes can still fit some things, usually not lol when I have time I just go with the flow and then if I'm interrupted I have to write down what I want to happen next otherwise I will not remember when I open the docs again, on the good days I write without actually thinking about it so I don't remember it well just feels like my fingers can't type fast enough lol very automatic

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

(I think I've answered this before in a better way) everywhere, things come to me at the most random times, usually when I'm daydreaming before falling asleep, sometimes by other books, tv shows or music but mostly it just feels like I spent six years of my life repressing my creative side so I could do physics and calculus so now that I'm letting it loose it's running wild lol

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I don't write emotional scenes, I can't do emotional or vulnerable therefore neither can my characters which is why I mostly write from Barty/Evan's pov lol it's a different type of emotional I guess I have a dificulty in making my characters say I love you, I just cringe so badly. I don't feel what they feel at all lol and the only personal experience would be from emotions like anger

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

inspiration never lacks the problem is the lack of time, but when things aren't flowing I stop and go watch something, read or go to the gym until my mojo comes back

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Morally Ambiguous Characters and Graphic Depictions of Violence

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

sometimes I just post the draft lol I cannot re-read things before posting so the first few people reading are definetly getting screwed over sorry, but then I feel the pressure of having people seeing all my mistakes and it forces me to go polish it

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

question what are his motives and why did he chose that path and maybe not make him one-dimensional like his whole purpose isn't just to go against the hero, make him compelling, make us believe in why he chose that path make us understand him and feel sorry for his motivations, I always like that lol

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

Definetely the first, I'm very disattached to death, I have cried in very few fics and it's not when people die lol sometimes living is more painful so I never expect people to say they cried and when they do I'm always in shock

thx <3 I thought this was gonna be harder lol but maybe I just didn't answer as I should lol

[fredwendelin]

C&D Book Update #17 (And how the TCYK's cover came about)

I put some music references in my book, because why not?

Out of the top of my head:

Somebody I Used to Know

Don't stop believing

Over and Over (3DaysGrace)

There are others, but I can't remember right now.

Is this cringe?

Nah.

I don't care, it's my book.

‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹

I've been saving some Instagram posts of other writers... Just to study their marketing. It's really interesting. While I mostly didn't like their books (other genres), I loved the way they presented their stuff. Maybe when I finish the current draft of my book (I can't remember if it's the third or fourth right now omg), I'll dedicate more time to study book marketing and even cite some of my main inspirations.

Ok chapter 18 now. I tried to insert a Song of Songs excerpt, but apparently I read it all wrong the first time I read it and I can't find the verse. I'm crying. (Not really.)

~~

I did put a disclaimer that anything about medicine in my book is bulls, but anyway, I'm trying to do my research. Initially, for chapter 19, I was going to use rue. But then I wanted to get fancy and find something more on point. Which means, 30 minutes researching AGAIN, with no good results. And my uni starts soon :)

>>> I ended up finding this research and trying to choose something from there... It kinda made me anxious so I didn't double check every single plant.

>>> My younger sister will draw my next book's book cover! It's all set. She just doesn't know it yet. I want it rainbow. (I haven't even finished outlining the ~main~ ideas on that blasted book, but I'm already thinking about graphic design. (I guess some stuff never leave us... I did a whole degree on media production.)

Update: she already did the cover! She did it in like, 15 minutes. She showed me the sketch and we redid the sketch three times, she even suggested a skull and all that. Edgy. I love her.

[cirqosmos]

I am thinking of posting a fan fiction but I don't really know how can I continue to finish it.. I once posted one but the account got deleted for some reasons.. I really wanna post that fan fiction because I personally think the idea is quite unique but I don't think anyone would actually be interested as it would be my first work on this account.. I have noticed you are a slow updater (no offense) how do you keep yourself motivated to finish your work for such long time period... BTW LOVE YOUR WORK AND HOLY MOLY LOVE SCAM PART 1 WAS SO UNPREDICTABLE when I was reading that I was like OMG OMG for whole time.. Can't wait for the next part :')

Hi anonnie ^^ THANK YOU SO MUCH IM SO SO GLAD TO HEAR U LOVE IT :(( and to answer your question, It would be quite a lengthy paragraph but I hope you'll bear with it!

It's totally normal to have doubts and overthink whether or not people will like your story or just in any other form of art. But if you don't take the first step, then nothing will happen. If you don't believe in yourself first then no one will. If you want it then you should go for it, I'm a firm believer in chasing after a chance than just letting it pass by like the fleeting clouds or butterfly just bcs you were afraid it might not work the way you want it to be.

And truly, it might not really work out for the first try and that people might not like your story but isn't that how everything and life in general works out? You gotta try again, again and again till you succeed. You won't always get everything in the first try and that's totally fine. But you don't always have to dwell on that on the negative side, just go ahead and try! Don't let it hold you back.

But in terms of being a writer, just reminding bcs just in case if it hits you someday—here's one thing you have to remember: it's quite complicated really but it's actually simple. Write it because you want it, not because people want you to write it (unless you accept requests obv) and not because they want it (for example, smut.) Yes of course, we write for people—in fact the final drafts is for the readers themselves—however, you write for you and because you love what you write, you'll keep writing even when no one does. That's the pros and cons of being a writer. Just do it.

And yes lmao, I'm a very slow updater since I would always plan everything and then delete it, the cycle keeps going on so yea 😭✋🏻 and to answer your question for how I can keep myself motivated to write for a long period is a whole lot of reasons..:

1) I wholeheartedly love to write. I love writing that's why I keep doing it. Even when it's so freakin painful bcs of how dry my English becomes sometimes, it's still fun.

2) feedbacks + compliments from readers (compliments aren't always that necessary tho, feedbacks r.) , they're that little doses of motivation fuel that keeps you going. They're necessary, sometimes you won't get them though. If I have to be honest to you, ngl I broke down when LOVE SCAM didn't got the feedback I expected bcs I put a whole lot effort in it and I had so much hope in it. Apparently I was this rlly rlly close to delete that fic but I changed my mind bcs why? Even though I was crying bcs of sadness at that time, I didn't do it bcs why?— I love to write. Even if no one likes that particular story, I still love it. I had this three thoughts in my mind that time:

"maybe it's just that awful, I can improve a whole lot more better next time."

"maybe it's just not their taste, I still love it though."

That's just how it is. Your mind is your greatest friend and enemy after all. But later guess what! There's still feedbacks though, so gratitude and mental resilience in general also plays a big role.

3) read alot! Articles, books, books bout writing, nonfiction, fiction, biography and almost anything. Find every little thing to keep you inspired. For me, I write for enha! So I watch their vids and their mvs, i actually had a writer's block on Nov and that I kinda lose the motivation to write—thats why you'll see there's two months gap from EP 9 and ep 10 ><

4) last but not least, this is my principle that I have been practicing for awhile now—consistency over everything. In writing, quantity is alot more important than quality. You gotta write everyday no matter how small. You can't improve on the quality if you don't first work on your quantity of writing everyday—you gotta make time for it! Write that chapter, writing sprint or just a tiny short draft of 50 word count. It matters alot, atleast you're still moving.

So to conclude everything, being a writer is very fun but also very painful 😤❤️ I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR FIRST WORK AND YOUR FUTURE WORKS, SKSJRKSLAS IM ROOTING FOR U!!! GO FOR IT AND TELL ME TOO BCS I WANNA SUPPORT YOU DUH 😩😩🔥🔥 I APOLOGISE FOR THIS LENGTHY ASS PARAGRAPH BUT IM ROOTING FOR U ANONNIE <3333

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

"the kevjean dynamic has me in a chokehold i cant stop thinking about them." SAME and I think its so valid of us there's too little of them out there whether it's romantic or platonic it's actually a crime

"i should reread it again" lmao that's exactly what I'm doing I'm currently halfway through chapter 3 (now 5 now the sequel and I'm done i might reread it again now since its complete). Also lost??? Omg you're so so correct here. "But if only you could see yourself in my eyes you'd see you shine, you shine I know you'd never leave me behind but I am lost this time" you are so so correct here

"these three will be the end of me i swear." THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH WILL BE THE END OF ME I SWEAR

"even the AGES are right." I KNOW HOW DOES IT FIT SO WELL

"my interpretation is VERY self indulgement." Self indulge away I'm here for it

"i associate my tears ricochet with post-baltimore kandrew." Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for it anyway

"FIRMLY believe andrew has had some horrible horrible thoughts about being like every person who's hurt kevin." I AM SO WITH YOU HERE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

"listen those two are practically melded together okay" they rlly rlly are okay I'm in the middle of Andrews pov in tnotg sequel and I'm having feelings

"SOBBING THESE TWO THEY END ME I WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM" hurting each other = hurting themselves

"once again, about kevin running away to the foxes and jean being at the nest" ykw this is such a valid interpretation but I refuse to believe that they didn't at least somewhat repair their relationship post canon okay I need them to be roommates okay

"BUT for extra sad you can remember all the drafts nora wrote where Jean died." BABE LITERALLY WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO REMEMBER THAT I ACTIVELY TRY AND NOT THINK ABOUT THAT I'm so fucking glad we had him joining the trojans instead that's so so much happier I remember the previous drafts and I need to lie the fuck down

"Andrew digging his heels and yet following Kevin and he promises andrew the world and them drags him towards it" YOU GET IT they were fucking attached at the hip

I am now actually incapable of listening to willow without thinking of kandrew the same way I can't listen to liability without thinking of kevin or dorothea without kevneil or two birds without kevjean

YOUVE ADDED THIS IS ME TRYING listen the way this song gets to me "I had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting" Literally him breaking his hand "Could've followed my fears all the way down" KEVIN "I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here" is this not him going from a raven to a fox???? "but I didn't pour the whiskey" the song's also about alcohol addiction this song's now linked to him in my head

Okay I have listened to silence before but with them??? "I found peace in your violence" yes I can see this "Can't show me there's no point in trying" is this not the entire point of their deal??? Kevin constantly trying to get him to try and to give him something to build his life around??? But also in reverse andrew giving him the chance to learn how to play again??? "I'm in need of a savior but I'm not asking for favors" GODDAMN "I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring" andrew core

I'm not ok is so pre-canon kandrew the way I dont even know which lyrics to start quoting first "I can be a handful but that's why you have two hands" lmao accurate I don't even know which one of them that could refer to "I can be a danger, danger for you" I THINK IM JUST GOING TO HAVE TO QUOTE THE WHOLE SONG "Too many issues, so I wouldn't blame you" ITS THEM???

505??? I LOVE 505 "If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive" yk how in tnotg andrew flies to Boston bc kevins team would be there. Sorry I'm never shutting up about this fic ever "I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck or I did last time I checked" I NEED A MOMENT SHIT HOW DID I FORGET THIS LINE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHY WOULD YOU SUGGEST THIS IM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO MOVE PAST THIS OH MY GOD "But I crumble completely when you cry" BABE YOU KNOW THAT ONE BIT IN TNOTG SEQUEL "If Andrew turns his head now, and finds Kevin quietly crying, it'll be the only thing that has ever happened to him." Yeah I'm def rereading this the way I can never stop thinking of it its THE kandriel post canon fic. "It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye" Post graduation vibes everytime they meet they know it won't last long FUCK I'm obsessed with this song with them you've given me crack

I am not a robot okay okay you mention a song by marina and you've got my attention with every lyric I keep flip flopping between who the song is talking about "You've been acting awful tough lately smoking a lot of cigarettes lately" bc this is clearly andrew right but then "you don't always have to be on top better to be hated than loved loved loved for what you're not" which is so kevin??? Lowkey the way raven fans turned on him when he joined the foxes "I'm vulnerable I am not a robot" this could honestly be either of them the way both of them are viewed by the ppl around them

WOLVES WITHOUT TEETH YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS “Open my chest and colour my spine” I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WITH THIS the idea that andrew was doing his best to hold up kevins spine for like months until he could do it himself "I'll be the blood if you'll be the bones" I don't know why but in my mind kevin is clearly the blood while andrew is the bones "hover like a hummingbird haunt me in my sleep" they were fucking attached at the hip obsessed with each other and OKAY SO THE CHORUS you would not believe what i found on genius lyrics "They are not running from the physical thing, but from what the thing represents emotionally. A wolf prostrate and panting is seeking permission for something, it wants it, but needs consent. The “tearing with out teeth” is the emotional pain of the mutual love and attraction they share, but cannot express." I actually can't look at this any other way now wtf was this person on when they wrote this annotation why does it work so well for them my god "how can I keep you inside my lungs" listen I'm sorry to keep bringing up tnotg but also tnotg andrew to kevin

Ghost of you by 5sos kinda reminds me of kandrew but like post baltimore (PLS I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS BEFORE YOU SENT THAT ASK and yes you absolutely should create a kandrew playlist if you want i'll be here for it) yk the whole missing someone who isn't there's anymore "still can't sleep on your side" them not being able to sleep in the same bed bc of a whole host of issues for both of them but also bc kevins gone and moved out "dancing through our house with the ghost of you" he's not there anymore when he's been within arms reach before "when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt" LIKE ITS THEM

Also idk if this is bc I've just started twisting every song I listen to until it relates to aftg but endgame for kandriel??? Like first part is Kandrew the second verse is kevineil and third verse is andriel?? This either works rlly well and I'm correct or I've completely lost my mind (but like "I protect you with my life...reconnected when we were little bit older...i hit you like bang...calling my bluff on all my usual tricks"???)

Have you considered Dollhouse by Melanie bc it lowkey describes the nest/perfect court the idea that the public sees smth that it totally false while shit is going down behind the scene like "everyone thinks that we're perfect please don't let them look through the curtains" "smile for the picture pose with your brother"

LAST WORDS OF A SHOOTING STAR IN ON YOUR PLAYLIST "All of this turbulence wasn’t forecasted" him expecting to stay at the nest for college and then having to leave and all the drama that came after "I am relieved I left my room tidy" HIS ROOM AT THE NEST and when neil was there and it was like all perfectly preserved "they’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts" again the nest?? It has just occurred to me that this could apply to jean as well "my dreams made music in the night" both of them dreaming of being able to get out one day "I was going to live" THEM FINALLY BEING ABLE TO LEAVE "you’d say you love me and look in my eyes but I know through mine you were looking in yours" okay okay but is this not kevin and rikos entire relationship riko looking at kevin but only viewing himself through it bc kevin was just an extension of himself and not his own person

Also Life on your playlist works so well???? "twenty-two and confused" this is like nothing new all over again bc HOW DOES THE AGE FIT "broken miss America" kevin being one of America's sweethearts is like so personal to me. WHICH REMINDS ME Miss America and the Heartbreak prince fits so so well for kandrew I feel like I've definitely seen someone mention it somewhere but I can't for the life of me remember who or where but god does it work I mean "I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life" pls see the vision I need your opinion

Queen of the night also works so well for them you're right EVERY LINE IS SO THEM "I've bandaged your bruises you've held back my hair who'd've known when this started that we'd end up here" pre canon to post canon them growing into ppl who can be good to and for each other "you reach out and touch me, say my name like a prayer" I need to go lie down how dare you suggest this song "all my friends say you're dangerous but I don't fucking care" okay my first thought was pre-canon ppl warning them to stay away from each other bc kevin could potentially bring down the mafia on andrew and Andrews whole stay away I'm dangerous vibe but like the only friends they had pre canon were like jean and renee??? So lol no there was no-one telling them to keep away from each other "This holy redemption tears us in two but I can't turn my back to you" Post baltimore divorce era vibes babe "one hand on the wheel and one hand on my thigh" lmao listen its a cliche but I feel like andrew would enjoy it with like Kevin or Neil in the passenger seat as long as no one is watching them "you're kissing my fingers, and I kiss your tattoo's" HOW DARE YOU RECOMMEND THIS SONG TO ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THIS also I'm a strong believer of multiple tattoos older kevin (his dad has them and there's this one fanart by lucky-slice that's so lovely and you can rip this out of my cold dead hands). "and talk shit forever" lmao domestic kandriel shit talking ppl and gossiping is my jam

This got long I'm slightly concerned it won't send lol

line break for my lovely mutuals <3

lol my answers is just as long and i lowkey wanna post this without a paragraph break and plague people's dash

'there's too little of them out there whether it's romantic or platonic it's actually a crime' RIGHT?? kevjean is soooo scarce so of course we get to make everything about them. their specific dynamic is just so special and i am hooked on it

SAME im currently rereading tnotg this series is my lifeline. dayurno is a genius i owe them my life

' Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for its anyway' I couldnt bear to remove it!! i have so many feeling about this song i had to sit there and process it bear to remove this song not when it so so perfect and i am always in need of more material about the

YES someone agrees with me about my tears ricochet this is so validating. and YEAH the cherry liquor ice cream in the tnotg sequel!! i was never the same. i think of that scene a lot while listening to this song. they are SO- canonically attached at the hip kandrew really will end me huh 'Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for it anyway' oh there was no way i was skipping THIS SONG i have sooo many feeling about it its essential kandrew divorce era shit

i am DESPERATE for kevin and jean to get something of a happy ending I want them to find peace so badly they will absolutely rebuild post canon this is not up for argument.....but I may or may not read an unhealthy amount of kevjean agnst. but honestly if nora had killed off jean after ALL OF THAT I would've just put the book down right then and there i couldn't that bro i COULDNT

"they were fucking attached at the hip" they were they really were like- knowing each schedule and every little habit THEY ARE BASICALLY MARRIED

YEAH willow is so so perfect i listen to it on repeat i cant help it and i understand you so completely its impossible to separate liability and kevin in my mind now

' "I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here" is this not him going from a raven to a fox??? ' god yes this lyrics is what did it for me. this song is so so so inherently kevin with his stubbron single minded focus. kevin who's never done anything halfway flying or fighting or falling. ' "but I didn't pour the whiskey" the song's also about alcohol addiction this song's now linked to him in my head' YES YES cause it is absolutely criminal how little his alcoholism is addressed in this fandom i NEED more fics where its a main plot point.

' is this not the entire point of their deal??? Kevin constantly trying to get him to try and to give him something to build his life around??? But also in reverse andrew giving him the chance to learn how to play again??? ' akdnfnsjnndj YEAH YOU GET IT ITS SO THEM i cant believe it took me so long to consider this but now. i cannot stop.

'I THINK IM JUST GOING TO HAVE TO QUOTE THE WHOLE SONG "Too many issues, so I wouldn't blame you" ITS THEM ' JUST THE WHOLE SONG I COULDNT BELIEVE IT WASNT WRITTEN FOR THEM

"yk how in tnotg andrew flies to Boston bc kevins team would be there" not andrew Afraid Of Heights minyard getting on a fucking plane to got to an EXY event of all things just cause kevin will be there and- ngl that was may favourite kandrew scene in tnotg its PERFECT I LOVE IT. 505 KILLED ME AND BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE THAT LINE JUST ENDED ME RIGHT THERE HOW IS IT JUST SO- if i have to be stuck on this forever so do you "BABE YOU KNOW THAT ONE BIT IN TNOTG SEQUEL" EXACTLY you get it!! I was actually rereading tnotg when 505 came on and I FROZE it was SO PERFECT. I feel you I'd forgotten that lyric existed but now I listen to it on repeat I cant stop its so so so perfect it might as well be crack

'I keep flip flopping between who the song is talking about' right?? and every other line could be about either of them god they are so complementary but also theyre so much more alike than people realise at first and this song shows that so well. THIS WHOLE SONG IS BASICALLY KANDREW ARGUING BACK AND FORTH DONT YOU SEE "andrew, mockcingly: Who you never really liked and you never trusted But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins", "kevin: Never committing to anything, You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings", "both of them: Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing"

' "I'll be the blood if you'll be the bones" I don't know why but in my mind kevin is clearly the blood while andrew is the bones' I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT!! it just fits so well?? youre right. And no no PLEASE continue mentioning tnotg i actually added this song because of tnotg. remember that one scene where neil thought andrew would slash his chest open for kevin and kevin walk into his chest and never look back?? YEA this exactly. omg omg i hadnt see the analysis of the song "I actually can't look at this any other way now wtf was this person on when they wrote this annotation why does it work so well for them my god" SAME this now lives rent free in my head i cant see it any other way either

'Ghost of you by 5sos kinda reminds me of kandrew but like post baltimore (PLS I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS BEFORE YOU SENT THAT ASK ' THE COINCEDNCE LMAO. no no but youre right and this song is so them like im supposed to hear "and i chase it down with a shot of truth, that my feet dont dance like they did with you" and NOT think of those dramatic fuckers?? when its clearly about them finding their sides feeling too empty?? their schedules out of balance?? their steps ungraceful after each movement was complementary...steps in a dance....give and take....at eqilibrium with each other for years?? how does one walk when the constant comforting weight by their side has been ripped away leaving bruised skin in his wake?? disgracefully that's how.

ENDGAME i hadnt considered BUT YOURE RIGHT I SEE IT. or maybe my brain is the saame and twits everything into being all about these exny idiots...perhaps we'll never know. immediately the kandreil of it all with the "oh and i got big enemies" and these dramatics fucks and their very different reputations. and THEN "you hold me down and i protect you with my life" VERSE ONE COMING IN WITH KANDREW.

i really really like the kevneil portion in endgame sooo much tho ' "I protect you with my life…reconnected when we were little bit older" ' THIS IS SO NEIL SINGING "Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long, And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song" them CONSTANTLY arguing on and off court and kevin being the only one who understands all of neil, who knows the whole story, neil being the only fox who GETS what the nest is like....even BEFORE the nathaneil reveal kevin SEES him he picks him out of hundreds of potential players because he understands, KNOWS his game, his potential ON SIGHT (im confident this would be the case in any universe, kevin constantly finding him).

GOOD GOD THE ANDREIL AT THE END "calling my bluff on all my usual tricks" literally end me now cause they learnt each other so fluently in so little time "And I can't let you go, your hand print's on my soul" THIS LYRIC?? , andrew's hands always firm and decided yet always always kind....how could he go very long without his touch now that he's felt it? now that the memory is cooling balm on his skin on his soul?? "I hit you like bang" neil coming in like a whirlwind becoming essentially so quickly!! (and also andrew hitting him with the raquet in tfc lol)....imma put this song on my kevin playlist..the andreil portion can be like a fun extra in the middle of all the kevin vibes

dollhouse is very interesting i dont listen to melanie much i hadnt considered this.....but damn the vibes are so so much like the nest. kevin having to play the part of #2 of the perferct court...riko's brother...the raven with the perfect life...the media darling. no one really knows what goes on in the nest behind closed doors. no one can ever hear what kevin actually wants to say and that's the thing!! he's been voiceless his whole life....being torn apart in private and then paraded around like a show pony in public. god kevin day has been trapping in plastic wrapping for so long. I NEED THIS SONG IN THE PLAYLIST

LIFE IS SO PERFECT YOU GET IT. tbh the age mentioned is why i started thinking about kevin with this song in mind and now i cant stop. yessssss kevin day the media darling the broken miss america!!! a large part of my playlist is based around this i cant- "SHE WROTE IT ON THE BATHROOM WALL IN HER FAVOURITE SHADE OF LIPSTICK L I F E" there's just something so- kevin about that action. its barely thought through yet desperate yet so so resolute somehow. I CANT EXPLAIN but this song?? it is EXACTLY the emotions/attitude i imagine kevin would have during his healing process especially post baltimore. "Call it a night when the lights in the club dont shine no more" AND THEN "Call it a night when the lights in the studio dont shine no more" i mean come ON

'EVERY LINE IS SO THEM' RIGHT?? literally every part of it is perfect ilisten to this while imagining them on a drive alone to wherever they like aka a date not that andrew would call it that, and andrew gets to watch kevin bask in the sunlight and kevinn gets to watch him unwind and just- the heavy comfort these two can find in each other WHILE being the person one who can fully rile the other up (until neil). ' "you reach out and touch me, say my name like a prayer" I need to go lie down how dare you suggest this song ' HAHA i had the same reaction this song is on par with 505 in terms of utterly destructive lyrics in the context of kandrew.

ngl one of my favourite songs on the kandrew playlist is alone with me by vance joy like i heard the first line and i sold immediately this song is SO THEM YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IT "i saw you smile, i knew you had spirit" ISNT THIS THAT ONE SCENE "so, did you have fun?" "youre despicable kevin day, dont know why i keep you around"?? IM SOBBING THIS IS ABOUT KEVIN BEING PROUD OF ANDREW!! and seeing him actually *try* and show courage and being like "i told you so i told you you could do it, i knew from the beginning all that you are and can be" AND THEN "isnt it odd the way we tell ourselves we've go limits" THIS IS BOTH OF THEM?? GOD THIS SONG

[voyageofthenautilus]

A Pearl Worth Ten Million

Mod Blue: It's taken me a while to blog about this chapter, but I do intend to blog about it, because this is an Important Chapter. Upon re-reading it, it may have become my third favorite chapter in the book (first is "The Coral Realm," second is... you'll see).

-“Rifles! What for? Don’t your mountaineers attack bears dagger in hand? And isn’t steel surer than lead? Here’s a sturdy blade. Slip it under your belt and let’s be off.”

Omg, I can just picture Aronnax's eyes going wide, and he starts to say something like "wait, are you sure about this?", but then the helmet goes over his head and everyone sets off and he's resigned to let go of his fears and follow them. I'd say "someone should draw this," but the more I say that, the more I think that someone should be me.

-I had no idea that crabs that eat coconuts were a thing, but I am very happy to now know that they ARE a thing.

-I wonder how that oyster feels about Nemo periodically coming by to open it up and check on his pearl. Also, how would Nemo determine when it's "done," so to speak? It would make a fine addition to his collection even at its current size. I feel like he's just showing off by this point.

-"...soon we reentered Our Element. I think I’ve now earned the right to dub it that." Yeah, yeah, Pierre, don't get a big head about it. (This is giving me some of the same vibes as the last line of the book, but I can't talk about that because SPOILERS...)

-Captain Nemo fighting the shark= YESSSSSS! Mentally I'm jumping up and down and squealing like a teenager whose crush has just asked them out. (And how lovingly Aronnax describes this incident, too... "I can see Captain Nemo’s bearing to this day..." He IS the teenager and Nemo is his crush.)

-Also, gotta hand it to Ned here for helping out- I hope he'll calm down now that he's finally managed to kill something.

-"How startled he must have felt, how frightened even, at seeing four huge, copper craniums leaning over him!" This is another image that MUST be drawn, as I can see it so clearly in my head.

-Aaaaaand there's the Important Moment from this chapter- Captain Nemo giving the diver his pearls. I wonder if he was prepared to run into someone and that's why he brought them along? Anyway, this shows that underneath it all... Nemo DOES still care about humanity, to an extent. He DOES have a heart and a conscience. (Back when I posted that earlier meta about Nemo, I was planning on writing an addendum discussing this moment, but I didn't want to mention it until the emails caught up to it, and now I don't remember what exactly I wanted to say. Anyway care to expound upon this moment and what it means for Nemo's character?)

-One final spoilery note (if you don't know Nemo's canonical backstory and want to be surprised, don't keep reading):

So, the last line of the chapter has a LOT of significance.

“That Indian, professor, lives in the land of the oppressed, and I am to this day, and will be until my last breath, a native of that same land!”

When I first read this line, having read The Mysterious Island which explains Nemo's backstory, I thought... did the translator intentionally implicitly reference Nemo's backstory with this line? Because anyone who's read that book can tell you that Nemo is, in fact, Indian. And as I recalled the story, Verne hadn't written Twenty Thousand Leagues with this backstory in mind. As I recalled it, Nemo had originally been written as Polish, but at the urging of his editor, he obscured all direct references to his background, and later wrote him as Indian in The Mysterious Island since a Polish character fighting against Russian oppression may have caused political controversy, apparently. This whole time I've been re-reading this book, I've been under the impression that Verne had not, at this point, determined Nemo's official background. But I was wrong- it looks like Nemo was only written as Polish in early drafts of the book, and despite keeping his background vague, he may have already settled on depicting Nemo as Indian by the time the book was published.

Now that I've read this chapter, I now see that Verne likely already had Nemo's Indian background in mind. This is how he wrote the line in French:

« Cet Indien, monsieur le professeur, c'est un habitant du pays des opprimés, et je suis encore, et, jusqu'à mon dernier souffle, je serai de ce pays-là ! »

And going off my VERY rudimentary French knowledge, it means something close to how Walter translated it:

"This Indian, professor, is an inhabitant of an oppressed country, and I am still, and, until my last breath, will be from that country!"

If anything, this almost makes it MORE explicit, with Nemo specifically saying he's from the same country. However... even though it appears Verne was dropping a huge hint with this line... This should not be taken as THE background reveal. That only occurs in The Mysterious Island. This line does not keep Aronnax from wondering about Nemo's background. It does not illuminate anything for him, except confirming that he has empathy for citizens of oppressed nations. There's no moment where he puts two and two together. Up until the end of the book, Nemo is still somewhat of a cipher, and while readers can probably figure it out, what's important is that Aronnax doesn't, and therefore it should not be assumed that he does.

[worldismyne]

Omg you have warrior u oc’s ?! Please tell me about them!

I've been in the fandom for a hot minute and a half, so I got a few and they break into two generations lmao.

1st Generation (2013-2014) Made for funsies.

2nd Generation (Present)​ Made for the future issue we're working on.

It's kinda hard to talk about the 2nd Gen ones without spoiling too much, so I'll just stick to stuff that's irrelevant or not covered in the draft??? They'll be at the bottom, so feel free to dip out of the post if you don't want spoilers.

With that said....

*Inhales*

Gen 1 OCs

Ophilia - Y'know how almost everyone had some fem unicorn/pegasus to ship with Hevvin lmao; uhh this one was mine. She's less of a character and more like a concept. I liked the idea of a counterpart to Hevvin's 'magical creature killing things on purpose' with a 'magical creature killing things on accident'. She's supposed to be a clydesdale like pegasus that was also poisonous to the touch. She was used to being hunted for her feathers, and was supposed to have long fur/hair. But like really hated humans because they wanted her magic to hurt each other; made no sense for her to have a human disguise, but eh. Also I was an inexpirienced artist, so I made her super skinny/tall like all my other drawings, but really she should have been BUFF. I never gave her a concrete personality and was too nervous to do anything other than use her as a dress-up doll for different outfits that would fit the aesthetic. In hindsight she doesn't really fit in the world (Aisha denounced pegasus existing, and Hevvin's human form is canonically from one of Leenan's lost spells soooooo) but I still like the idea of a character that was poisous to the touch. Ended up finding a VN series that scratched that itch, so I officially retired her. She did make a cameo in my fic Plain Gold Ring as one of the monsters Emet ran into on her adventures. This is what she'd look like if I made her now.

JD (Can't find his full name, my gut says Jasmine Diane???)- Made for my fic Plain Gold Ring as a travel campanion for Emet and Rhodri (because there's no one else in the comic their age lmao). I knew I wanted a 'neutral' party for them to talk to so they weren't always talking to each other. He's the youngest of seven brothers, I think he was 11??? (him and his brothers all were given girl names by their stubborn mom who thought naming the baby before birth would give her a girl). He's a very meek and gullible person and a grain farmer; the kind of kid Rhodri usually scams. A pushover toatie made sense for an added member to the squad, so I had Rhod drag him along and they made him do all the stuff they didn't want to do. He ended up being a fairly practical and chill person as the story progressed, whose biggest flaw was not speaking up. He used the adventure to step up in the world and act as a merchant (so he sells all the treasures and junk Emet finds overseas and doesn't like.) With the happily ever after being them forming an adventure/merchant guild. I seem to remember submitting him to the OG tumblr for review (I can't remember why) but he got artist approved!  I snuck him into the background of pg 28 of Ambrosia since we needed people in the streets according to the thumbs [that by no means makes him canon, it's more an easter egg than anything else]. I still really like him and the idea of his fam from a worldbuilding standpoint, though I have 0 plans for him. I may go back and revise Plain Gold Ring, if so, he'd get developed further.

Gen 2 OCs (Spoiler Reduced)

Belladonna Ashenburrow (sp?) Age 13 and a half

Biological daughter of Freya Ashenburrow and her 1st husband (supposedly), but not the oldest of Finn's cousins. She enjoys studying ediquette/customs of other cultures, making tea pastries and torturing her step sisters's tutors until they quit. Permenantly housebound, Bella is determined to get married first and be a celebrated nobel lady to spite her family (not that she's made any progress thus far). She is first in line to inherit the family home as the only descendent that is blood related to the Ashenburrows AND holds a noble title AND willing to marry any noble her family picks out. No one in the family is happy about this. Her mother and father are deceased and her step father is always away at work as a woodsman. She refers to everyone in her family by cutsey nickname versions of their names with exception of her grandfather (Papa) and her step father (Mother's Second husband). Her aunt and grandmother try to pretend she's not in the house. (She is LOOSELY inspired by the tale of Cinderella, in that she has step-sisters and an akward family)

Rosaline Ashenburrow Age 15

Technically the eldest of Finn's cousins, she entered the family through her father's second marriage (and as such is not a blood-realitive). Despite that, she was very close with her cursed step-mother and was her unofficial favorite child. Her favorite story from her step-mother was how marrying her father made it feel like the curse was gone, that true love isn't the first love you find, but the one you build through hard work. She wears Freya's old dresses to feel close to her again, though they are extremely dated. Still, she struggles with adapting to the expectations of noble ladies and often falls short of her aunt's expectations. Rose enjoys gardening and has an interest in white witchcraft, but is too scared to pursue it in the home given past events. She discovered of Leenan's existance after her suitor accidently triggered an old hex Leenan had left behind. (He got turned into a bear mid proposal; he's kinda stuck as a bear until further notice). She's inspired by Rose Red from "Snow White and Rose Red".

Clarice Ashenburrow Age 5

Fairytale rules state there's always 2 step sisters; so I thought it'd be interesting to have one be older and one be younger. When she talks, it's in test bubbles with layered crayon/pencil dialogue to replicate how young kids have rapid/repeating speech. She's extremely hyperactive and has grown up in the Ashenburrow home realively unsuppervised (she has Rose, but Rose gets busy with lessons and other things). She's quite the terror, but when she's older she'll focus her energy into playing piano instead of tearing the house apart. She also has a habit of biting people when she's upset. She doesn't remember her mother at all or Freya and often tries to get Senna and her grandmother's attention by missbehaving (it rarely works). I wouldn't say she's a brat, more like an unchecked ball of chaos. She actually adores her older sisters (and her cousin once they meet); but no one has time to play with her 🙁 Inspired by Bell's younger sister in Beauty and the Beast. Fun fact, the disney animation removed her character from the final draft of the movie to make Bell seem more isolated/lonely in town. 

I keep flipflopping on whether she should be Bella's step sister or half sister. Step sister would be more traditional and secure Bella's role as heir, buuut half sister would mean Rose could have been raised by Freya for longer and raise the stakes of competition in the house. Either way, she'd be treated the same in the issue she appears.

Senna Ashenburrow Age 37

Not technically an OC, but she doesn't really appear in the formspring or in WUPurgatory; so her personality was concocted by me and Coffee. She's Leenan's elder sister, and the fact Coffee calls her Finn's "wine aunt" makes me laugh because I associate her behavior with my boomer grandparents lmao. Definately a functional alcoholic though, but an ideal duchess (ediquette is on point, dresses immaculate, socialable with all the right people, etc.) She has a "close friend" *cough*wife*cough* whom she's been with since they were 22. She figured she could avoid the pressures of an arranged marriage by supporting one of her sisters; and in return get left alone. Freya seemed like the safer bet (unfortunately she had all girls!) and now is stuck training her nieces on how to care for the duchey. She's been pushing Rose to take control, because she thinks Rose would be inclined to let her do whatever she wants. Until then, she stuck waiting for her parents to pass, but they're stubborn and in good health. 

She HATES kids and is mostly taking care of them out of a sense of duty. She's not wicked/abusive, just emotionally constipated and uncomfortable around young people.

[limitless-rose]

The Signs as things I wanted to be when I grow up

[This has literally been in my drafts since December because I wasn't sure if each option matched with the sign I chose but whatever (it's also a long post again, oof)

Also I didn't really post anything related to 2020 so... Happy New Year, let's hope something good will happen this decade!! 💖]

♈ Aries: Be part of the army. I was quite fascinated by the idea of guns and protecting the nation and actually getting my life together. I was actually thinking about it for quite a while until I realized that in order to get accepted (at least according to the Greek system) you need to have excellent grades (especially maths/physics), to be taller that 165cm and to be excellent in sports. Guess what, I don't understand physics/science/chemistry, I've been about 158cm for the past 3 years and the only two sports I'm good at are badminton and tennis (while you need to be good at running, swimming and things like that I guess 😕)

✧

♉ Taurus: A chef/baker. Cooking and baking always seemed pretty fun. I would always sit by my grandma whenever she cooked/baked goodies and observe the whole process. I also got inspired by the movies "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ratatouille" and thought that one day I could possibly come up with my own recipes and open my own restaurant. But while growing up I realized that I can't cook properly when I'm stressed/multi-tasking (I'm capable of burning the food AND the kitchen if I get slightly distracted, ooof)

✧

♊ Gemini: A TV presenter or a weather woman. My mom told me that from the age of three I would always pretend to talk to an audience and answer questions from the callers or announce news/talk about the weather. Maybe that explains why I talk to thin air (as if I was a YouTuber) about anything and everything when I'm alone. Though it sounds cool, I don't really think I could do it now because I have social anxiety.

✧

♋ Cancer: A writer. I really like writing, I don't know why. Authors have been inspiring me since my childhood, I remember I used to read so many books and try to write something of my own based on it. 😅 I like taking notes and then re-writing them more neatly. I like re-doing old homework in a different style and see if I have improved. I really like writing in a diary/a bullet journal too, I feel like it's much better than bothering others with my problems anyway. I also love coming up with random scenarios/stories/characters and writing about it but I don't know if I should share it. Idk, sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit boring or that it's nothing that impressive. So, honestly, if more people took writers seriously instead of thinking it's a hobby as it doesn't always pay well (when did the world even start revolving around money that much, oml) and if I was more confident about my work I'd definitely chose to become a writer/author (I'm still keeping it as a hobby no matter what I end up doing, lol).

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♌ Leo: A model. Omg, I honestly don't know why I even thought of it. Probably because I really liked watching ANTM when I was younger (and I specifically chose the American version because the one we have in my country makes me cringe a lot, just hearing girls from my school talking about it is painful). My friends also liked the outfits that I put together or how I would always pose for pictures (a few years ago, I'm too awkward now asdfghjkl). Looking at it now it's just so funny. There's literally so much competition in the name of beauty, the community can get kinda toxic sometimes and the standards are pretty high. Also I'm way too short and I still can't walk like a normal person when wearing high heels lol.

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♍ Virgo: A teacher. Specifically, a teacher for elementary or even kindergarten. Back then, the concept of teaching seemed pretty fun to me and I had lots of ideas about how to make class more interesting. The thing is that I have good chemistry with most kids and I actually kinda dislike teenagers because of how rebellious we can get when it comes to school (idk but like teens in my country are like pretty rude to everyone 😐). I'm not so sure about it now, though it's still an option.

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♎ Libra: A psychologist. I always liked helping others out and offering advice when they're having a tough time and I was also curious to see what makes each person feel angry, sad or stressed and the way they respond. It's also interesting because you can learn a lot about someone's personality, preferences and way of thinking or understand what caused someone to commit a crime. I still really like psychology and it's one of my main options for uni. The only problem is that psychology is pretty much overrated in my country so people say it's best to choose something else. 😒

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♏ Scorpio: A criminologist. And, surprisingly, I still want it. I was always intrigued by things that required research, was interesting in learning what caused a murder/crime to be committed and I would always watch crime thrillers with my dad. I also like it because it's a field of Sociology which is one of my favorite subjects. I'm just hoping finals aren't super difficult so I can get accepted in the college that I want on the first try lol.

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♐ Sagittarius: A flight attendant. Back then I found it kinda fun, as I was always curious about what going on a plane is like. It could also be because of their outfits (like the ones you see in movies or in Britney's MV for Toxic, idk why 😅). Plus I would get to travel around the world without paying as much as the passengers. But then, at the age of 14-15 I got on an airplane 4 times and I saw that it wasn't really like the movies and that literally everyone ignored the flight attendant so yeah, it's not an option anymore. ✈️

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♑ Capricorn: A fashion designer. So because I would always draw and constantly ask for new crayons/markers and other art supplies, my mom bought me a few coloring books that focused on fashion. It came along with stickers, stencils, ideas for Victorian dressses, advice for how to design lace or mermaid tail dresses and I was so impressed. A few years later, my grandma showed me a few dresses that she had made for my mom when she was younger (which were so gorgeous like I'm definitely going to wear one of them on my graduation day) and taught me sewing. I also got to see these small floral designs that you usually see on lingerie and it was so pretty, I wish I could do it as perfectly as her. I decided to follow my grandma's advice and keep it as a hobby instead (because she ended up doing nothing but designing clothes and repairing them which she regrets 🧵🧶).

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♒ Aquarius: An astronaut. This was pretty random, I have to admit. I guess I really liked space and looking at at the stars in the night sky. I read a few books about space and learned a few things about NASA back in elementary too, though I realized that it's something I could never really do, as you have to sacrifice a lot. I'm still fascinated by this profession but there's no way I could ever do it, since I can't even understand basic physics or mathematics. 🤷‍♀️

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♓ Pisces: An artist. Honestly I didn't really care if most artists didn't get recognition/fame or if they didn't earn enough money, I just wanted to make art because I liked it. It's also fun because while you are expressing your thoughts through an art piece, another person might interpret it differently, based on their likings and thoughts. Art also plays an active role in my life: I've been drawing and painting since I was 5 and I would always watch the show with Bob Ross on TV with my grandma. Instead of completely giving up on this idea, I thought that I could choose another profession (also my family didn't really like the thought of me doing art for a living 😐) and keep art as a hobby.

[koqabear]

oshdkfj HELP? we're seriously telepathic at this point it's kind of scary... even more so because i've noticed this is Constantly happening to me and it's like, i'll tell someone we're telepathic as a joke at first, and suddenly it's not a joke anymore LMFAOO i think i'm the problem 😞 (fun fact: i'm really good at accidentally manifesting it's like midas touch but with words)

i've been well for the most part though n i hope you have too! i've just been preoccupied with school, playing the sims 4, or decorating toploaders...! i will literally do anything and everything except write; which sucks because i was really excited about this idea and i wanted to finish it by this month, but i haven't made any real progress with writing the storyline or mundane scenes so i don't think that's happening unless i suddenly get a burst of inspiration turned motivation. also, i know some people say that if you get stuck you should work on something else entirely or write a different scene, so i did both of those and here i am again... with two unfinished fics but complete ideas.

the ideas never stopping but the motivation does is actually so real and True though like omfg? i think with myself and my writing style in particular, i absolutely can't let myself get distracted, otherwise my source or motivation is entirely lost and difficult to get back again. i'll constantly get super immersed in a story, outline every last detail and write bits and pieces here and there, but actually writing/finishing and posting it seems to always end up being my problem and . idk how to fix it ?! like i have way too many story outlines in my notes that at this point i think i should just rebrand my blog and make it an idea bank for writers seeing how my own writing does Not want to see the light of day Ever

anyways, sorry i didn't really mean to talk so much about myself but i hope you find your motivation soon! you honestly have a lot more perseverance than i do when it comes to writing and getting your drafts done, so i don't doubt for a second that you'll get over this block soon and tackle all four...? fics 🙏🏼 boxer tae and loser gyu are here to stay ! – ml

We literally share one mind at this point bc it’s like we summoned each other or smth 💀

I’ve been well also! Life’s been a bit busy these past few weeks, but I’m finally getting some free time again,, hopefully this means I’ll have more time to write too

but omg I totally understand what you mean! Sometimes writers block is so intense that nothing helps, and now I’m stuck with so many more drafts it’s actually driving me insane..

And yes!! Mundane scenes are soooo hard to write!! It’s literally whats keeping me from my boxer tae and loser gyu fics, like they need to be there for character development but oh lord is it getting boring for me to write ! I’m also the same way with writing— I need to stay in one place and remain focused or else that fic is not getting touched again 😭 and if I don’t stop writing at an interesting scene it’s over for me

I usually avoid outline my stories in detail it’s insane 💀 the only one I’ve done a full outline on was OYD, and most of it was a voice recording of me incoherently throwing ideas out; after that I took the key points and wrote them down (then I added important details i needed to remember as I wrote)

I always wing my stories which is why I always have to go back and add stuff in LMAO it’s not the best method but it works most of the time…! Then when I’m about to stop a writing session I leave a vague checklist of stuff I wanna write (like scenes and stuff) and hope I touch it again </3

Making ur account an idea bank is such a mood I have so many good stories that are just gathering dust bc my inspiration is dried out 😭 I also hope you’re able to find motivation and inspiration for your stories, it’s such a frustrating feeling to have writers block and I’d love to see your stories !

[jjunis-moved]

hiii i'm sorry i saw the reply late i was offline 🤧 but thank u vm for the advice and such, i'm very grateful ♡♡

truthfully i haven't posted my works in like,, three years maybe?? and i've definitely improved and i know i'm good but idk again social media scares me and i'm stuck between wanting to have an audience and also wanting no attention at all🧍‍♂️the first two years of me writing was spent on wattpad so that was fun 💀 but i have heavily outgrown the whole wp style bc ao3 kicked in w the maturity (tbh idk why but ao3 fics are always written so well and a good handful of everyone always starts out at wp,, is it just mandatory for fic readers,,)

i don't have much experience in putting out works but writing for myself had always been my thing, but i can see how with a following that expects consistent continuation, it could mess w u more (i suppose that's the word). and i get how it can be when one work could get more attention than the other, and the contrast between atosn and ghosting couldn't be any more stark so i get that as well. i want to but i'm not sure how to help since it's not something i'm all too familiar with 😭 but i mean uh, everyone has their preferences, atosn is a sweet sundae in comparison to the initial bitterness of a cup of coffee that is ghosting (i want to mention a specific type of coffee but idk shit abt coffee ugh)—and u embody both, even if it might taste weird. but as i think both are wonderful, some people like sundaes over coffee and vice versa. my point is that like,, try not to be too harsh w urself over something (people's individual preference) u can't control (??)

i mean i personally don't like coffee too much but if it's ghosting i'd drink it down w breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack fr

i hope i don't come across as too preachy or ‘know-it-all’ i'm not sure what i'm saying either but i really enjoy ur works 😭

truthfully i sleep for the average hours a person should,, just not at the right time 💀 like i could sleep for six hours but it's from four in the morning to ten am 😭 but some of those asmr ambiences help me sometimes, listening to surroundings and stuff. my favorite is this howl one i found a year or two ago but i can't unhear the pon mi remix when i hear the theme song i've tried so hard 😭

sorry it was a little long i can't write my thoughts down properly despite having writing as a hobby, but i thank u vm for taking the time to help me out ♡♡ if i do ever end up putting out my work, would u read it? i'd link it on an ask probably but if u wouldn't want to it's alright ♡

thank u again, sorry again, i hope ur doing well and having a good whatever time of the day it is where u are and i send u lots of love ♡♡

— 🐼

this has been here for literally a week i'm so sorry i SUCK but anyway hii

i kinda get that?? like i'm terrified of being judged by the stuff i write but at the same time i'm like "HEY HI HELLO I POSTED THIS THING PLEASE GIVE IT SOME LOVE 🙂" so like.. idk it's weird lmao

omg ao3 works are amazing!! i haven't been on that website in YEARS tho but when i was younger i used to spend a lot of time reading stuff there. i never really published anything before ghosting (except for 1 chapter of a 1d fic but we pretend that never happened) but i used to write a LOT of fanfic drafts in my school notebooks when i was bored in class??? amazing what a responsible student. i think the only things i read on wp were after (i just checked like the first 2 chapters to see what the fuss was all about before it became a book and stuff but i dropped it) and a justin bieber fic where he was criminal and the main character's face claim was lily collins but i can't remember the name of it all i know is that it was very problematic (but honestly this whole description fits into like half the justin bieber fanfics that existed at the time, the other half was the same but with barbara palvin instead of lily collins) so 😭

nooo omg you didn't need to comfort me about it jasddhsaj i was just mentioning it!! but thank you you're so sweet i appreciate it 😭😭😭 and yeah i definitely know that!! it's just my virgo sun being picky i guess lmao i'm like that with everything that i do so i just try to keep it under control

ohhh i get that, i'm like that too. i just can't fall asleep at a "normal" time (mostly bc i prefer to be up at night bc it's quieter and nobody's gonna annoy me) so it can be a little tricky to get a regular sleep schedule. i'm struggling with that rn as well so!! good luck to both of us 🤧 i'll check this asmr tho! ambiance sounds are actually nice, i just can't stand those asmrs where people are whispering and scratching things softly and making weird noises it gives me the CREEPS

and of course!! i'd love to read it!! feel free to drop the link if you ever post something <3 i'll be honored to check it out

i hope you're doing well and have a fantastic rest of your week 🥰🥰🥰 and again, thank you for the kind words

[jawllines]

I swear at one point you were doing like a part 2 to the bad boy Harry or frat boy Harry or something and you showed up a preview and I think it included like a butt plug or something I can't remember but you like lost all of your work on it and just didn't rewrite and I remover how sad I was after but I completely understood

AW I DONT EVEN REMEMBER OMG BUT THAY SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN :( THATS WHY I HAVE TO POST ALL OF MY WRITINGS AS I WRITE THEM IN MY DRAFTS JUST IN CASE THE APP I WRITE ON POOPS OUT