#this was supposed to just be a list of top 5 moments and it ended up as over 1800 words of my feelings about those moments

[henneseyhoe]

Adonis being clingy with his wife and new baby.

Adonis x BLACK!FEM!reader

WARNINGS: postpartum depression mentions, other baby related stuff

SUMMARY: Adonis trying to be as helpful as he can, but the reader finds it a bit overwhelming while dealing with postpartum depression.

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“Pacifiers?”

“Check”

“Burping cloth?”

“Check”

“Bibs?”

“Check. Babe, we have everything. I promise” I chuckle, watching Adonis go through a list of baby necessities on his phone, while trying to calm the whining boy in his arms, the man being adamant on keeping everything where they need to be just for times like this when his son was irritated.

“We have diapers right?”

“Mhm”

“What about wipes?”

“Yes, all in the nursery, Donnie”

“Okay, good, good….you need anything? Thirsty?” He tucks his phone away, rocking the now resting baby in his arms.

“Mmm…water, maybe?” I shrug and he nods, rushing out of the room. He had been acting like this all day, running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. I hadn’t even been home for two hours yet, just coming back from the hospitals secondary check up after a very unplanned home birth. The house was a mess from two days ago, my poor mother and brother being stressed out of their minds trying to deliver a baby that wasn’t supposed to be here just yet.

Luckily, him coming two weeks earlier didn’t matter and he was healthy as a horse. with the way he was screaming at the top of his lungs, you could tell that was a healthy baby. But, meanwhile I was pushing a 5 pound, big headed baby out of me, Adonis was scrambling to find a flight back to Cali so he could make it to the birth, which was unsuccessful. It took an entire day and some change to get back home, the man so disappointed in himself that he took a business trip so late in my 3rd trimester.

Though I told him to do it, he still felt bad, promising to never leave my side in circumstances like this ever again. The birth went smoothly even though it wasn’t expected, and as soon as Adonis landed, he was blowing up my phone with FaceTimes back to back. And he was completely serious with the ‘never leave your side” thing, cause he was on me like white on rice when he got home. Helping me to and from the bathroom, even though I could walk fine, supplying me with any kind of food or snack I asked for, diaper duty, which was the best perk, and massages.

He was showering me with all kinds of love and affection, but as fast as my high came from giving birth, the lows swooped in just as quick. The 6th day after birth came and postpartum depression came knocking. I was still functioning though. Not cause I wanted to, but because I had an infant now and had no time to dissect why I really felt the way I did.

As more days passed, I became more agitated with my circumstances and Adonis constant ‘bugging’. I knew it was from a place of love, but I needed rest before anything. I was just too cautious to tell him that, afraid I’d end up sounding like a bitch because I wanted a break from my husband for a few hours. Some women would have to beg their husbands to do what Adonis does, but I felt ungrateful because I didn’t have to, and quickly got tired of that because of emotions I couldn’t control.

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About three more days had gone by, and it had officially been a month since giving birth. My postpartum depression had subsided a bit, and I felt better about myself, but Adonis was the same, and so was my sleep schedule.

“…can I help you, sir?” I look over my shoulder, spotting my husband watching me intensely. The infant I had in my arms whines and mixes at the sudden movements, unlatching from my nipple for a moment before going right back to feasting. I was reclined in a couch placed in the nursery, praying to god that I could catch some Z’s.

“Huh?” He queries, still staring.

“You’ve been following me around the house like a lost puppy all day. Now you over my shoulder watching me nurse like I don’t know what I’m doing” I say, a bit agitated since I haven’t slept for more than a few hours everyday for the passed month.

“What? I know you know what you’re doing, baby” He completely ignores my other statement, his attention still drawn to my current ‘activity’. I blink at him for a prolonged second, then laughed, shaking my head. “Okay, well back up off my bumper, can you?” I suggest, waving him off with my hand. He sighs, leaning up and walking away. “Your daddy is a bit obsessed, don’t you think?” I look down at our son, his brown eyes fluttering closed as he begins to drift off into his fourth nap of the day.

I close my eyes too, relaxing.

‘Maybe I could sneak in a nap too’

just as I thought I was gonna have peace and quiet, I feel Adonis plop down right besides me, looking over my shoulder. I was in my right mind to lock him in a room now. I sigh, opening my eyes back up to the unpleasant sight of the sun shining through the baby blue curtains across from me. I’d rather see the inside of my eyelids. I was exhausted.

“…he looks like me, doesn’t he?” He pokes, smiling down at his new found pride and joy.

I slowly turn my head to the man, his face being so close to me that our noses touch. “Donnie…get outta my face” I mellowly warn him, ready to run him out of the nursery.

“I’m sorry! I’m just intrigued. I wasn’t there for when he came, I just wanna make that time back” I bite back a loud cackle for the sake of not scaring my son out of his cinnamon toned skin. Snorting, I cover my mouth.

Giving him a ‘be serious’ look with the tilt of my head, I uncover my mouth. “Donnie, please. It’s been almost five weeks since his birth, you came a day late, and it’s not your fault. Be happy you even found a flight that would get you back here so suddenly. Plus, you already made that 24 hours back, now you just being clingy” I say, pecking his lips twice. “It’s just a bit…overwhelming right now, that’s all,”

“I’m not saying it’s you, I’m not not really in a place to…ya know…be as social with you as I was before”

He nods, understanding. “And you know I love you, but sometimes I don’t need anything at all, just silence” Taking in everything I say, he doesn’t argue, understanding that maybe he was doing a little much on the waiting hand and foot, asking me questions at every movement I made.

He caresses my thigh, kissing my forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m really not trynna stress you, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m not doin’ enough, or want you to feel like I don’t care”

I smile. “It’s okay. Just tone it down a bit, okay? Next week I promise you can be as clingy with us as you want” he nods, starting to play with the little mitten that covered our sons hand. I knew he still wasn’t gonna leave any time soon yet, waiting for the baby to stop eating so he could hold him again. I just let him be. For now.

“Does it hurt?” He asks suddenly, and I shake my head. “Not really. It did for the first few times, but since he’s latching better, no”

“…he getting enough, right?”

I pause, my eyebrow raising at the man.

“Yes, my titties produce enough milk for our son. Any other questions, doc?” I ask with playful attitude.

He shakes his head, still looking. It was silent for a moment , only the sounds of summer rain tapping against the window and swallowing followed by shallow sighs from the infant being heard. That was until I decided to put my boob up and replace my nipple with his favorite paci since he had fallen asleep, remembering the doctor told me not to feed him while he’s not awake, considering my milk supply was fine and he gets full fast.

Yet, that still doesn’t stop my husband from breathing down my neck, attempting to reach for him, which I dodge by brushing him off with my shoulder.

Taking a breath, I glare at him. “What, Adonis? You wanna feed him?”

His eyes glimmer with excitement as he smiles, perking up at the simple question. “I can? Yeah” he asks before quickly answering.

“Grow some titties then” I pat his chest then stood to my feet, now attempting to burp the resting baby.

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 1 - Creation~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

This is my first-time writing fanfic but I literally cannot get the stories out of my brain so…why not make everyone else suffer. This is part one of a story I’ve been rolling around some time. I feel setting a good foundation for the reader/main character is super important, so I PROMISE this story gets better. Be prepared for the usual angst, mystery (Alastor), sassiness (Lucifer), fluff, eventual smut (yes horny readers bear with me we need some plot), and of course 18+ because….it’s Hazbin what do you expect?

Summary: f!reader finds themselves in Hell. Unable to accept your horrible fate you make it a point to continue being a bright soul surrounded by the darkness of Hell. With some higher advice, you create a list of rules to live. A short list to keep out danger and continue helping the lower sinners of Pentagram City. It’s the ONLY way you can survive (right?). Your list begins to crumble when you start helping Lucifer’s daughter with some hotel and a dream to redeem the same sinners you want to protect.

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

1.5k Words

Part 1 (You're on it!) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Rumor was all sinners would spawn in hell with attributes related to their life and (untimely) death. Your gift power was proof of that.

“Everyone get inside! Come on before the exorcists see you.” You hurry the last of the smaller sinners inside a building. It kills you to see such fear from the souls. “Lock the door. I'll lure them away.”

How foolish you were. Somehow a heart of gold followed you to these depths after death...ironic how even the nicest people end up in hell. God really does have his favorites I suppose.

But that foolishness led you to the best thing to happen to you, so you thought. Dodging through the streets, maneuvering, anything to lead the "angels" away from even the worst of sinners. Cursing praying for their safety. It was only your second extermination, but you already caught onto their game. It was all too easy to get around their sloppiness. Needing a breather, you weave around some cars and dive behind a dumpster. Idiots can't even keep track of my thickass? Pathetic!

A few moments pass as it grows quiet. Your breath begins to steady when the softest whimper catches your attention. As quietly (and non-threatening) as possible, you turn the corner to approach a crying dark mass curled on the ground. Seeing their blood pooling sends your stomach into flips. Not another one. Fearing the worst you gently reach out. “Hey hey...shhh..." you utter, feeling her wince ever so slightly. "No don't panic I'm here to help. Where are you hurt?"

The young girl slowly uncrumples herself to show her wound...a massive "X" sliced hips to neck. It was so deep you couldn't believe she was still breathing let alone even moving. Fuck she's lost too much blood. "Come here let me try to stop the bleeding" you lied. You knew she had no chance. But your chest hurt at the thought of her dying (again) alone in some shit alley. With the last of her strength she curled into you, her white hair tickling your face. She had her textured locks pulled back tightly and black horns accenting the top of her head. Her tired red eyes relaxed, slowly closing as she leaned into you. Such a beautiful girl falling to such a terrible fate. With one hand on part of her wound, you used your other to softly stroke her head. “I'm so sorry young one...just breathe in and know you're not alone.” As her breathing shallows you gently kiss her forehead, bidding her soul a gentle goodbye.

The second your lips touch her skin, pure fire floods through your veins. Every nerve in your body feeling ripped apart. You spasm from the pain, clenching onto the girls now limp body. Just when the pain starts misting your vision you see flashes of...pink? "What the fuck!!" You grit through your teeth. What felt like hours of pain was merely a few seconds and it quickly dissipated from your body as did the pink light. Shit shit shit, there’s no way the exorcist didn’t hear OR SEE that! You stay perfectly still...listening to the silence with your mind reeling over what just happened.

A gasp breaks the deafening silence, pulling you back to reality. The young girl jolted out of your arms, gasping in as much air as she could. Looking down you notice her wounds were gone, only dry blood and tattered cloth remained from the laceration. You look at each other in panic and shock.

After inspecting her stomach she snaps out of her daze, remembering you two were still not safe.

"It's too dangerous to stay out here. Come with me - we aren’t far from the safehouse. I am sure my mother will want to meet you."

You follow without hesitation. Trust has always been a weakness. As you make your way through the city, she explains how she was out collecting angelic weapons with her sister when they got separated. After getting cornered she just accepted her fate...then you found her. "The name is Clara by the way. Clara Carmine. I usually just go by CC though."

You never intended to get into the Overlord game. You were merely trying to make the best, quiet life in hell if that was even possible. Guess things change when you save the daughter of Hells most prestigious Overlord. Who could say no to being taken in and protected by THE Carmilla Carmine.

Carmilla immediately began preparing you after hearing of the power you possessed. The power to heal with touch...of course it’s not that easy…it required pure intensions, coming from a place of love. Who the hell (pun intended) wrote this cruel joke for a sinner? How did the lowest of low get given such power just a few short years after arriving? It was your most precious secret. It had to be. If anyone of ill will found out - and come on, it's Hell - your soul would have been the most sought after in the pride ring. You wouldn’t last a day. Carmilla was indebted to you for saving Clara, so she made a deal to give you protection and mentorship as repayment. The first of many deals you’d make in Hell, growing the power you held.

In the years you've been under Carmilla's watch, you created a short list of rules to keep yourself out of harm’s way -

1. Never trust another Overlord

2. Never tell a soul what (or how much) power you have

3. Never bring anyone too close

4. Never let your weaknesses show

It was a simple enough list that had worked for you so far.

You chose to make deals with those who needed protection or help while navigating the dangerous afterlife. In your deals each soul was bound to secrecy as to who you were and what you provided. Contract details and fine print were your specialty. Your soul count was the highest Carmilla had ever seen for someone so new, so merciful. She would often mention only one other sinner ever rose the ranks as quick though his methods were…less than savory. She never bothered to say who. Every Overlord meeting the rumors spread of some "Saving Grace" sinner making their way into powerful ranks. A shadow giving vile hope. But just as quick as those rumors appeared - they were put to rest when no new faces ever appeared. Of course you were there - you needed to attend for information just as much as the next guy, but you never sat as an Overlord. Carmilla granted you a place off to the side as "the help" to serve tea or make notes as needed. No one ever batted an eye to someone considered just a worker bee in Carmilla's hive.

Every meeting was the same, though it seemed unease was rising after each extermination. Six years had passed since you fell into this hellhole (har har). Another extermination, another meeting. Sitting in your designated corner, you twirl your pen as the Overlords began taking their seats. Might as well be invisible - but you preferred it that way. As your mind slightly wonders to less important things, the quiet buzz of conversations around you fades away from your ears.

"—yes I know I’ve been absent some time. I'm sure you've ALL been wondering!"

Your attention snaps back with the sound of this charming new voice. The demon was dressed to the nines - red suit jacket, gloves, freshly pressed slacks. Your already preoccupied mind raced. Who the hell is that? Where has he been? Why does he have that shit eating grin?

He must hold some power to be sitting here after all these years…

"Not really. But welcome back in any case."

That dismissal from Camilla was enough for you to put aside any questions you had of the demon. You knew this meeting would be tense. Can't afford distractions when you needed to be all ears. As you began writing you felt something in the pit of your stomach. Was someone staring at you? You try to shake the feeling when Velvette made her grand entrance. With a sigh and eye roll you set aside your notebook. God damn this woman, no respect, no couth. Gonna be a long one today.

The sinking feeling returns, this time you catch the culprit. The (new to you) demon Overlord is staring at you as if you’re the only one in the room. You make eye contact hoping he moves his gaze, but it only fuels the intensity on you. That smile never faltering. Your ears ring and static pricks your ear drums. Can I fuckin help you sir? Wait no, you're just the help. Lower sinners would never even dream of speaking to an Overlord like such. Thankfully the eye contact breaks when Velvette tosses the head of an exorcist on the table.

Ah I suppose this will be quite a fascinating meeting…

[disneyprincemuke]

the end of all the endings * milo+rocky vault

notes: actually this was supposed to be a short one but i got carried away cause i think of them all the time and also, i'm making public all mocky pieces just cuz lolsie xoxo

(series masterlist) | (📁 the milo + rocky vault)

she puts her glass down on the table, a tired sigh passing her lips as she scans the menu for some sort of dessert to indulge in. she’s thinking maybe a lava cake paired with vanilla ice cream, or cake.

“rocks,” she hears from across the table. she lifts her eyes from the menu and lifts an eyebrow in response. “are you looking for dessert?”

she blinks. “yeah, why? do you wanna go somewhere else?” she scrunches her nose and returns her attention to the menu sitting comfortably on her lap. “their dessert menu doesn’t look very… well, i wouldn’t get anything from here for dessert.”

he purses his lips together. “actually, i was gonna ask if you wanted to get some free dessert.”

“free dessert?” she snorts, throwing her head back slightly with a laugh.

he shrugs, “maybe another free bottle of champagne.”

“what are you talking about, my?”

milo sucks in a deep breath. he takes a moment to look around the bustling restaurant then smiles back at her. “do you trust me?”

“now that you’re saying it like that,” she sighs, “not really.”

he reaches for her hand across the table and squeezes it. “when have i ever let you down?”

she tilts her head. “i could list a number of times.”

“rocky.”

“milo.”

“i won’t disappoint you, i promise,” milo encourages, adjusting his jacket. he runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat. “just go along with it.”

she sighs tiredly and closes her eyes momentarily. “fine.”

he stands up, pushing his chair back with a loud sound, drowned out by the sounds in the restaurant. he smiles at her and drops to a knee.

she flinches at this, pushing her chair back slightly and turning to him. she grabs his shoulders and tries to force him back up to his feet.

“what are you doing? get up,” she whispers, worriedly looking around the restaurant.

“just go along with it,” milo says through gritted teeth with a smile. “go on, say yes really loudly.”

“what is wrong with you?”

“do you want free dessert or not?”

“not like this.”

“my knee hurts, say yes before we get more looks.”

“absolutely not.”

“i’ll pay for your ice cream for the entire month.”

she jumps up, hands pressed against her chest as she feigns shock. “oh, my god, yes!”

“rocks, look,” milo mutters, slinging an arm around her shoulders. he gestures his head towards the group of girls crowded behind them with their phones propped up on the ground as they film a video of themselves. “someone’s taking a video.”

she looks away from her phone, held up as she takes a picture of the view from the mountain she’d driven them up to, and furrows her eyebrows. “why is that any of our problems, my?”

he simply grins, squeezing her shoulder. “i have an idea.”

she sighs and drops her hands. “i mean this in the meanest way possible,” she pauses, “but you have the worst ideas ever.”

“come on,” he laughs. he tucks a finger under her chin and presses a kiss on her nose. “it’s gonna be funny.”

“would it, really?” she scrunches her nose to challenge his thoughts, looking up at him. “you’re really not as funny as you think, love.”

he doesn’t answer. just fishes for something in the back of his pocket before dropping on a knee. “rocks.”

she throws her arms into the air with a whimper. “not this again.”

he’d gotten a cheap ring from a shop somewhere while he was running some errands a few days ago, giggling to himself as he made the purchase. it was just funny how a fully grown man like him was spending 5 bucks on a cheap ring for a bit.

a bit that even his girlfriend wasn’t fully on board with. though arguably, it would be funny to see her different reactions.

the ring is simple: a silver ring with a little glass rock sitting on the top. but, it was kind of obvious that he got it dragging his feet around the mall when he stumbled upon a shop typically for kids.

“come on, we’re on video,” milo laughs up at her, holding up the cheaply made ring on display, “say yes.”

she clenches her jaw. she will be sure to get back at him for this. she scrunches her nose and sucks in a deep breath.

she feigns a shriek and cups her cheeks. “oh, my god, yes!”

upon entering the paddocks, she couldn’t help but notice the sly grin on milo’s face. she’d noticed it from the minute she woke up that morning and she didn’t like it.

she narrows her eyes into a squint and turns her head to look at milo. “what are you planning?”

“what?” milo looks down at her innocently, blinking as he squeezes her hand. “why are you accusing me already? i haven’t even done anything yet.”

“i can smell your stupid pranks from a mile away,” she accuses softly with a hum. “you’re planning something.”

“i’m so not!” he scoffs, his free hand on his chest to show how offended he truly is by her words. “you can’t just make baseless assumptions.”

she scowls, “they’re not baseless. you’ve been my boyfriend for 3 and a half years — i know when you’re planning to be an idiot.”

“promise i’m not,” he sighs, stopping when they reach the end of the stretch of racing homes.

she untangles her hand from his and takes a step forward with her hand held out. “so this is where we part ways, my.”

“i’ll see you in 20 minutes, rocks,” milo beams, taking off his backpack and placing it into her hands. “you want a coffee or ice cream?”

“ice cream,” she grins, stepping forward to share a light kiss. a blush spreads her cheeks when she hears the click of a camera and drops her head to hide her face. “have fun.”

she turns in the other direction to walk towards her racing home when she feels a tap on her shoulder again. she whirls back around just as milo drops to his knee. a loud gasp passes her lips, “milo!”

milo lifts his head with a smug grin. “what?”

an annoyed sigh fills the air when she sees his hands on his shoelaces, clearly undone. she grumbles under her breath. “you are so fucking annoying.”

milo grins, turning his head to oscar. “you guys want free champagne?”

oscar looks up from his phone and turns his head to the american with a toothy grin. “do i?”

“let me answer for him,” logan starts, popping his head out to glance at milo, “probably no.”

“who doesn’t want free champagne?” milo defends himself. he turns his head towards the direction she’d walked off to earlier with ylona and lily to head to the restrooms. “if we don’t get free champagne, i’ll pay for the club.”

logan hums. “fine, though i don’t really know how you’re going to get free champagne at all.”

“trust me, dude.”

“would rocky let us say yes?” oscar hums, nose scrunched up in curiosity.

milo beams. “no, but she’s not here for you to ask.”

“hey, have you figured out what you wanna order?” her voice makes their head turn to her. she’s walking towards them with ylona and lily trailing shortly behind her. “i’m starving, so speed it up.”

milo glances at logan and oscar with a grin. he clears his throat and slides out of his seat, swiftly picking the plastic ring from his pocket and getting on a knee.

she turns her head and simply looks down at milo, ignoring the loud gasps and remarks from her friends. something along the lines of “what the fuck” and “i didn’t see this coming”.

she scratches her head. “i’m so hungry, milo.”

logan’s loud declaration of confusion tears her attention away from her boyfriend, kneeling on the ground. “he’s literally proposing to you. why are you reacting like that?”

she stares at him, unamused. “no, he’s not. that’s his ruse for free champagne,” she answers monotonously. “my, come on. get up.”

“oh, come on,” milo frowns, pushing the ring up into the air again, “free champagne.”

“fine. but you owe me ice cream again for the rest of the month,” she says as milo nods enthusiastically. she sucks in a deep breath and cups her cheeks, “oh, my god, yes!”

“i’m asking you politely to not think of pulling any of your silly strings tonight,” she mutters, leaning towards her boyfriend sitting next to her. “please don’t do it here. the alcohol and dessert are free — there’s literally nothing to gain if you do it here.”

milo leans into her with a small smile. “why not? don’t you think it would be funny to watch sebastian clutch his heart in shock?”

she shakes her head and scowls. “no, i need him for my race tomorrow, you twat.”

“it’ll be funny,” milo whispers, rubbing his chin as he stares at sebastian sitting across them. “watch.”

“my–”

but it’s too late. he’s slipped out of his seat, pushing the chair back with a loud noise, garnering the attention of at least half of their side of the table. she just wanted to enjoy a team dinner with her boyfriend in attendance.

had she known that he would be this hard to contain, she would not have brought him along.

he lifts his hands, the godforsaken plastic ring between his fingers with a grin on his face, “rocks. you’re the love of my life.”

sebastian raises his eyebrows with a small grin, folding his arms over his chest as he leans back in his seat. “interesting.”

“milo,” she mutters, shaking her head in disappointment. “i’m going to kill you.”

“don’t leave me hanging,” milo teases with a smile, “your entire team is watching us.”

“he’s kidding, by the way,” she announces, turning her head to assess the reaction of her team members. “he does this all the time.” she grabs his wrist and lifts his arms slightly into the air. “it’s a ring from a kids’ shop.”

noah giggles. “romantic.”

“oh, congrats, ciara!” milo beams, clapping his hands, turning to his girlfriend. “speaking of good news…”

the young girl had just shared her business ventures as of late, even boasting about how her eldest sister had helped her out coding her website to help with her vision.

“milo,” the girl says cautiously shaking her head. her eyes dart down to his legs, trying to decipher if he’d slip off his seat.

“you’ve got news?” ciara perks up with grin. “what is it?”

she turns to ciara and shakes her head profusely. “do not listen to him. i don’t have any pieces of good news.”

milo smiles smugly at her then turns to ciara. “i landed a new role for this movie. i think you’d love to come to set with me one day.”

“rocks,” milo whispers, leaning to the side to the side. “you’re enjoying dinner?”

she turns to him. “of course,” she smiles, pinching his cheek. “are you?”

they’re sitting in a restaurant with her family. she sits at the head of the table, and to her right is milo, with ciara by his side, then oscar and logan hunched over with dalton, preoccupied with a phone game. then there’s blythe stuck in a conversation with mick and liam, then sebastian having a chat with her parents.

it’s such a random selection of people to have dinner with.

“of course,” he grins. “what are you getting to eat?”

“i don’t know yet, but they’ve got really good selections,” she mutters. “what are you getting?”

truthfully, when blythe had invited her to dinner, she’d half expected it to only be herself with the option of milo tagging along. she has yet to ask how a personal dinner for 2, maybe 3, suddenly turned into a family dinner.

logan and oscar tagging along is normal, but sebastian?

“not sure,” milo shrugs. he can’t help the smile growing on his face.

he hasn’t messed around with her in almost 3 weeks, trying to take away the suspicion of his true intentions. he’d been trying to soften the blow, getting a feel for her reaction if the real deal had happened.

she tilts her head and pinches his cheek tenderly. “you’re looking extra cute today, miles.” she pulls him in and presses a kiss to her cheek.

“i bet you’re wondering why the entire family is here,” blythe hums, throwing her head back slightly. “or why we’re even in a private room for dinner.”

she shrugs, “i was just guessing word got around about us getting dinner in a crowd favourite restaurant.”

blythe glances at milo and sits up straighter. “actually.”

“just a season-ender dinner to celebrate the year,” milo grins, turning to her with a grin. “you guys have fought such a great championship — blythe and i thought it would be fun to host a dinner to celebrate you guys.”

“and of course the fact that you’re contending for the championship,” blythe smiles, wiggling her eyebrows as she leans back into her seat. “and…”

“and?”

“and…” she turns her head to the source of the voice, flinching when she sees milo missing from his seat. he’s now on the ground on his knee. “oh, cut it out.”

but the ring on display for her is different this time. the plastic ring she’s come to find the humour in is no longer staring up at her. she feels her words get stuck in her throat, her grip tightening around the hem of her dress as her eyes flicker between the ring in the box and milo.

“i swear to god, milo.”

“no, i’m serious this time,” milo smiles, extending the box to her. “will you marry me?”

she looks down at the ring and she starts to nod before she can string words together. “yes, yes, oh, my god, yes. i’ll marry you.”

[aidoriimu]

(END) 69 FOLOWERS EVENT RAFFLE

(c.) luvrevuearchive

— In celebration of reaching a funny number, I thought why not have this? My zodiac sign is also Cancer so I suppose this number means a bit to me.

Any questions? My inbox is always open!

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3rd - 1 rendered sketch of your choosing (half-body)

*for reference please check @astraspicia and @ensemblelive

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*if you use another account to interact from, please say so in the post or just post an image with your selfship blog url drawn in to prove that you're following me :0

*doing all three of these guarantees you 3 tickets, but you can't skip any of them or you don't count.

MORE ::

—There are ways to gain more tickets to get a better chance!! Please add this in the post you'll be making for this event.

♠: Tell me a fun story moment/interaction about your enstars f/o (5 tickets)

♤: List down your top 3 enstars songs, you're free to give them a listen if you don't know enstars and you will still count. They're available on youtube with mvs and @/ensemblesongs has some of them in full! (4 tickets)

♠: Tell me about your favorite genshin event/quest and give a short blurb about why it is. (3 tickets)

♤: Which TWST dorm will you be in and why? You can probably take a quiz and add a screenshot of it, that would count ww (2 tickets)

♠: Reblog the raffle event (can be done twice)

*you can do all these simultaneously, if you manage to do so then well done? sjfklsl

*when you reblog this, please add 2nd and 3rd reblog to help keep track!!

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ::

— This event will last three days, April 08. 2024-April 11. 2024 4pm GMT+8

Hope you all have fun!!

(c.) dreamcrush

[swimmingismywholelife]

The Only Reason

Summary: Even though your relationship with Christian has been rocky, neither of you are willing to go down without a fight.

Warnings: 18+, arguments, panic attack, a lot of crying, angst but a fluffy (if you can call it that I guess) ending, SMUT, some dirty talk, soft dom!Chris, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and make sure you're not allergic to your wrap!), fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, the smut is sweet tbh

WC: 4.4K

A/N: It's my birthday but this is a present for all of you! Inspired by "The Only Reason" by 5 Seconds of Summer. My first attempt at smut which lowkey I wasn't supposed to add but it fit anyway. This is a step considering I'm openly horny on main now so you might see more in the future 👀. I literally changed it 1274045923845 times but I'm happy with the way it turned out so I hope you guys think it's good-

"Even though my dizzy head is numb

I swear my heart is never giving up.

You're the reason

The only reason."

~~~

The front door slammed shut, indicating Christian was finally home from training. You sighed, praying this would blow over quickly so you could enjoy your dinner.

The past few weeks had been incredibly frustrating for the both of you. Chelsea had been on a losing streak with hardly any goals and Christian hardly got any play time. He was in the middle of trying to negotiate some sort of deal with the club, either to transfer or give him more playing time. Although it wasn't the option he preferred, it was likely he'd be transferred somewhere else soon, and with that contract talks had to be opened. He loved Chelsea, but the club didn't seem to return that love to him. It heavily weighed on Christian's mind, slowly draining him of the love he had for the sport, sending him deeper into a depressive and angry spiral causing him lash out on everyone.

On top of that, your own stresses had started building up. Your workload had tripled due to you being short staffed. Every time you thought you were done with a project, a modification was added or a brand new one was added to your list of things to do. You were working overtime almost every single day and you were close to ripping your hair out.

Between your work and Christian's training, you'd hardly seen each other over the past few months. He'd been extra short with you recently, something that was pretty unusual for Christian. You were typically the one who struggled to keep your anger in check, but these days it seemed your boyfriend could give you a run for your money. Most days you spent sleeping away from each other as opposed to being cuddled in each others arms. During the very brief moments you did end up spending time together, more often than not it resulted in some kind of an argument.

You both agreed earlier that morning that you were in desperate need of some kind of date night to ease your minds and to spend time together. You decided that a simple dinner would be sufficient enough. It was something small, you wouldn't have to go anywhere, and it was always one of your favorite date ideas since you'd gotten together. You were excited to finally spend time with your boyfriend even if it wasn't anything fancy.

But you knew by the way Christian slammed the door that he thought otherwise. He angrily threw his training bag to the side, grumbling to himself.

"Chris, it doesn't do you any good to pace angrily around the house," you sighed. "At least come eat and try to take your mind off things."

It seemed you only made him angrier.

"God, what don't you get?!" he snapped back. "Fucking food isn't gonna help the situation. Our team is shit, this situation is shit, everything is shit!"

You stood up from your place at the table, upset with Christian for yelling at you when you just wanted to help.

"I understand you're frustrated with everything, but don't take it out on me!" you yelled back. "All I'm trying to do is help you. I'm not a fucking emotional punching bag for you to take your shit out on Christian!"

He slammed his hands on the table, the sound echoing throughout the entire house. It startled you. Christian wasn't one to express his anger through violence like this.

"Why do I even keep fucking trying with you?! All you do is nag and nag and nag! You keep 'trying to help' but you're not!" he screamed back. "All you do is get in my face of 'oh Christian do this,' 'oh Christian try and do that.' Get out of my face for once I'm fucking tired of it!"

You were stunned. Your heart with each word Christian spat out at you. You loved him, but you knew you didn't deserve what he'd been giving you for the past few months.

"Fine. I'll 'get out of your face,'" you said calmly.

"Actually you know what? I'll do it myself. Being in here suffocates me," he said venomously, grabbing his keys and storming out the house.

You moved into the bedroom the two of you shared. What once felt like home to you felt like a prison suffocating you the longer you stood in it. And you just fell to your knees and cried.

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where it all started going wrong. You and Christian weren't perfect of course, but you just worked. You understood each other like no one else. You'd experienced things together that you'd never had with other people. You hadn't grown up with Christian in the past, but that didn't matter. He was your present and was going to be your future.

But that was then. Somewhere along the way, things changed. Nowadays he barely made time for you. He was gone before you woke up and you were asleep before he came home. Date nights were nonexistent, special occasions stopped being special. You couldn't keep begging for his attention, wondering if this time would be enough to keep it.

You didn't want things to end. That was absolutely the last thing you wanted to do. You loved Christian with everything you had. But you were the only one trying and you both knew that. Somewhere Christian just fell out of love with you while you were desperately trying to grasp onto something. But it was no use. He was gone a long time ago.

Christian was in the middle of figuring out the trajectory of his career, unsure if he was to wait out his contract with Chelsea for the next season or leave for a club that truly appreciated him. And pretty soon, he would be flying back to the States for international break. The last thing you wanted to do was add onto the stress Christian was feeling.

But how long would you have to keep sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of his?

Christian didn't come home that night, nor the night after that, nor the night after that. Not that you really expected him to. He hadn't been home all that much anyway, and even while he was there physically, he wasn't there. So sleeping alone in your bed wasn't that much of a foreign feeling anymore anyway. And the longer he was away, the foggier your mind became. The answer was right there in front of you. This was Christian blatantly telling you how he felt about your relationship. Right?

It wasn't until about a week later that Christian had contacted you, letting you know he'd be coming back that night. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.

The door opened, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You could hear the clattering of the keys being placed on the table and footsteps heading up the stairs.

The lights flickered in your bedroom. Your eyes met his, startling him.

"Oh hey, I didn't realize you'd still be up," Christian said surprised, removing his jacket and placing it on a chair.

"We need to talk Christian," you said, trying to prevent your voice from wavering.

"We'll talk in the morning, Y/N. It's kind of late and I don't want another fight right now," he responded.

"I'm serious Christian," you answered, feeling your heart breaking already. "And I don't think this can wait until morning."

"Why do you keep using my full name?" Christian asked uncomfortably. "You only use it like this when something's really wrong."

You didn't answer. Instead you got up from your place on the bed and hugged his waist, completely breaking down. You felt like you couldn't breathe through all the tears and the pain you felt. Your body gave out as you fell to the ground, taking Christian with you.

For a second time that night, Christian was surprised. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

"Hey, hey, baby what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked.

You couldn't get the words out. You only cried harder as he led you back to your bed. You took in this moment with him, not knowing if this was the last night you would sharing with him. You tried to memorize the scent of his favorite cologne, how perfectly you fit into his arms, the way his kisses felt. You wanted to remember how safe you felt with Christian and how your heart longed for him to come home to you.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay. I'm right here. I won't ever let anything hurt you," he said, trying to soothe you.

Little did he realize he was the reason you were hurting so much.

You held Christian close to you as the weight of your decision started to kick in. You wanted nothing more in this world than to be with Christian. He meant everything to you. You wanted it all with him. You wanted to marry him one day, carry his children, grow old together. You wanted to wear his last name to every game he played, to support him as he reached all his dreams. You could have nothing but Christian and you would be perfectly content.

Your mother had told you growing up that every scenario that came your way had three answers: yes, no, or wait. And you so desperately wanted to believe Christian was your sign that being patient was worth it. That waiting would be worth it. That one day it would bring you the happiness you craved and you deserved.

But how long were you supposed to wait? How long had you waited for him to fulfill his promises? How long had you been patient with him? How long had you stayed loyal every time he'd taken his anger out on you? How long had you been contemplating if you were worth saving? Was this just patience or were you holding onto something that you should've let go of a long time ago?

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier baby," he said, stroking your hair trying to soothe you. "I didn't mean it. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry."

You couldn't get words out. You needed just one last night to call yourself his before you could make your final decision.

"Just hold me please," you sobbed out, gripping his body as hard as you could.

"I'll do whatever you need baby. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

Christian was scared. He didn't fully understand what was going on or why you were crying the way you were. But he knew something was off and something was wrong. So he just held you as you let out all the emotions you'd been feeling for weeks.

Christian knew it was more serious than he initially thought when you kept crying for over an hour. He didn't realize how absent he'd been from your life until then. How long had you been feeling such emotional turmoil? What else had he missed? Why were you crying this hard for so long?

Truthfully, he was afraid to find out. As shitty of a boyfriend he'd been over the past few weeks, Christian loved you with every fiber of his being. The last thing he wanted to do was lose you, the relationship you'd built up for years together.

But he knew the likelihood of a break up was probably looming in your mind. Was this it? Was this a sign that something was coming to an end? He didn't want to know. He knew you two needed to talk, especially after the way he walked out. But he was afraid of the outcome.

So he just held you close to him, praying this wouldn't be the last time he got to feel you like this. He took in your scent, trying to memorize the way you felt in his arms. He left kisses on your forehead, shoulders, and cheeks, wiping the tears away as he went.

You eventually calmed down, your grip on Christian never loosening.

"Christian I-" you gasped out.

"It's okay baby, take your time. You don't have to rush anything you don't want to," he whispered gently, kissing your forehead again.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly.

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about," he said. "If anything, I should be the one who's sorry. I've been such a horrible boyfriend. I shouldn't have said what I said, I shouldn't have done what I did."

"Christian…" you trailed.

"Shh, it's okay baby. It's okay. We don't have to talk about this right now. We can talk about this in the morning. Just let me hold you right now. Everything is going to be okay," he said softly.

"Chris I'm scared," you whispered.

His heart broke a little knowing you were scared of what morning would entail.

"I'm scared too baby. I'm so fucking scared," he admitted. "But we'll talk about this when it comes okay? Just be here with me now. Nothing else is going to hurt you tonight I promise."

The two of you were laying on your side facing each other. Your head was tucked into his chest, tears flowing every so often. Christian never once let go, not even when his arms started going numb. You were afraid to close your eyes, scared that Christian would be gone the moment you opened them.

Your body stopped shaking and you eventually stopped crying during the early morning hours. You were quiet. And if he didn't know you well, Christian would've believed you were asleep.

But he knew better. He knew that you couldn't sleep because neither could he. Just two souls barely hanging on by a thread not knowing how to fix it.

Did you want to fix things? Or were things so far gone there was nothing you could do anymore? Was this still worth it? Was a future still possible? Would love be enough to save this?

You were set on breaking up with him the night before. You were so sure that's what you wanted. But under the moonlight that peaked through your window, you didn't know what to do anymore. Your head was dizzy with thoughts and you couldn't think clearly anymore.

"Christian?" you called out quietly.

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?"

His body tensed at the question. He was quiet at first, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He knew this was it. His answer would either make or break your relationship.

"I don't know baby," he answered honestly.

You nestled your head further into his chest.

"I don't want to keep doing this. Guessing if you still want us. You're either in or you're out Chris. I don't want to keep playing your games."

Christian had to stop himself from letting out a sob and took a deep breath. You didn't trust him or his words anymore. And realizing that absolutely broke his heart.

"Can you look at me Y/N?" he asked.

You hesitated for a moment before lifting your head. Christian cupped your cheek with his hand, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth. He rested his forehead on yours.

"You don't have to say anything okay? Just hear me out. I know I've been a shitty boyfriend. I know I haven't been there for you. I haven't treated you well. I've lashed out on you when you've done nothing but love and support me. Through all the shit the world's thrown at me this season, you've been everything I need and more. And I haven't appreciated that. And you deserve so much more than what I've been giving you."

Christian stopped for a moment, taking the opportunity to look at you. How could he have hurt you so bad? How could he let everything slip between his fingers?

"I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry that you've lost trust in my words. You always tell me that my words, my actions, and my intentions need to line up and they haven't been and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry I've broken so many promises. And most of all, I'm sorry that you're hurting and I'm the cause of it when I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you. I failed to see what was right in front of me and I've taken you for granted and I'm so sorry."

A tear fell from your eye, quickly caught by Christian's thumb.

"I don't deserve you. I really don't. You know that and I know that better than anyone."

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead further into yours.

"But please don't give up on us. I know you can't trust my words right now, but I swear to you I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can't let you go. Not now and not ever. No more games. No more confusion. No more trying to guess where my head and where my heart stand with you. Right here, right now, forever and always I'm with you. My head is with you. My heart is with you. All of me is with you. And I promise I'll prove it every day for as long as I live. So please. Give me one last chance to be with you."

You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. How could you trust him? He was saying all the right words, but did he really mean it? Were they more empty words?

Yes, no, or wait. Just like your mother said. But you'd waited so long that it seemed almost futile. Had you been wasting your time? Or was this what you were meant to do?

And though your head was fighting with itself, dizzy and numb from the constant questions running around, you knew where your heart lied. So you did the only thing you felt could portray how you felt enough to give him and answer.

You lifted your chin and kissed him deeply, wrapping your arms around his neck. His grip on your cheek was firm, bringing you as close as you could physically get. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from either of your faces, but none of that mattered. What mattered was here and now.

Yes, no, or wait. And you finally got your answer.

He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to breathe. And truthfully, he needed you to breathe.

You pulled back ever so slightly, just enough for you to be able to talk.

"You get one chance at this Chris. Only one," you said breathlessly. "Don't waste it."

His lips were back on yours in response, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip. You let out a soft moan as he pushed you onto your back, settling himself in between your legs. He pulled back keeping his forehead to yours breathing heavily.

"I love you Y/N. I love you so much you don't even know," he said. "I won't waste it. Not ever again."

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to your lips, needing to feel him closer. Your hands traveled underneath his shirt, nails scratching his skin lightly as they roamed his chest.

Christian pulled back from you for a moment to rip his shirt off before attaching his lips back to yours, giving you more access to him. You couldn't keep your hands off each other, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring you even closer to him.

"Chris," you whispered. "I need-"

"I know baby," he answered. "I know. Let me take care of you."

You whimpered beneath him as his lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of marks as he gave you sloppy but gentle kisses. He bit down on the spot just below your ear, causing you to let out a loud moan.

"Does that feel good baby?" he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine that resonated throughout your whole body.

"God yes Chris it feels so good please," you begged beneath him.

His hands grabbed the bottom of your shirt, bringing it over your head and pressing his chest against yours as he kissed your lips gently.

"So fucking beautiful. And all mine," he said to himself.

His lips returned to your neck, this time the trail leading to your breasts. You gasped as you felt his tongue along your nipple, pressing yourself further into his mouth. You only squirmed more as he moved to your other side, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging lightly. He kissed down your torso until he reached the band of your shorts.

"May I?" he asked softly.

You nodded your head frantically.

"Words baby." His fingers hooked into them, toying with the fabric. "You know the drill. I can't give you what you want unless you tell me."

"Yes please," you whined, wiggling your hips in the hopes of getting the clothing off you faster.

"Please what Y/N?"

"Please take them off Chris please. I wanna feel you on my pussy please, please, please."

"Good girl."

He slowly slid your shorts down, taking a little too long for your liking. He kissed down your stomach, loving how you were falling apart beneath him.

His fingers rubbed over the dark spot of your underwear. You gasped, hands grabbing the sheets tightly. He moved his fingers almost in a trance watching as the patch grew darker and larger.

"You're so fucking wet baby. You like it when I touch you like this?" he chuckled.

"Yes I love feeling you play with my pussy!" you moaned, grinding your hips against his fingers.

Christian pulled your underwear to the side. You shivered in anticipation as you felt Christian's breath on your lips.

"Can I taste you?" he asked, running his fingers through your folds.

"God yes! Please let me feel your tongue," you begged, lacing your fingers through his hair to bring him closer.

"As you wish princess."

Your back arched the moment his tongue made contact with you. He licked from the bottom all the way to your clit, lightly sucking on it. You moaned tugging at his curls. The louder you moaned, the faster he went alternating between licking and sucking. Your thighs closed around his head as you pushed him closer to you.

You were so lost in the pleasure that you were surprised when Christian inserted two of his fingers into your folds. You moaned even louder at the intrusion.

"God Christian more please. Please I need more!"

You were begging, but you didn't even know what you were begging for. You just wanted him to keep going.

Christian was enjoying every second of this. He loved watching you fall apart beneath him.

"You need more baby? So greedy. My tongue sucking on your clit and my fingers deep inside your pussy. What else could you want?" he teased, picking up the speed as he fucked you with his fingers.

You couldn't form any proper sentences anymore. Incoherent noises left your mouth as your body started shaking uncontrollably, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"Damn baby you're shaking. Are you close already? I've barely even done anything," he mused, inserting a third finger and fucking you even faster.

"God I'm so fucking close please let me cum! Please please please I need to cum please Christian please!" you all but screamed.

"Shh, it's okay. You can cum baby. Let it go for me," he said softly.

Your vision went blank as you came, your hands grasping at Christian's curls to anchor you to reality. Your legs shook violently as Christian continued coaxing your climax out of you, only slowing down as your body started spasming with overstimulation.

"Christian I need more," you whined, gasping for air.

"I know baby, I know. I'll take good care of you," he said. "I'm right here okay?"

Christian kissed your lips gently, making your heart flutter. He softly caressed your face admiring how you glowed under the moonlight. You melted under his gaze holding him close to you.

"You okay?" he asked.

You nodded, giving him the go ahead. He moved back just enough to remove his bottoms before taking his place between your legs again. He placed both of his hands gently on your cheeks, resting his forehead against yours. He looked deep into your eyes as his thrusted his hips into yours. You gasped into his mouth as he picked up the speed, grinding slow but deep.

"I love you Christian," you moaned breathlessly.

"I love you Y/N," he responded. "I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving my worth to you."

The room was quiet except for the skin slapping against each other and the soft gasps you let out. You grabbed Christian's neck, bringing him as close as you possibly could. You needed him in every sense of the word, wanting to feel every inch of his skin on yours. He was yours and you were his. Your bodies intertwined in the same way your souls had all those years ago and that was all you really needed.

"Chris I need-" you were cut off with a particularly deep thrust making you moan, tugging at the curls on the nape of Christian's neck.

"I'm close too baby. Cum with me. Become one with me Y/N."

You had one of the strongest orgasms you'd ever had in your life. Your chest pressed into his as his cum filled you up, clenching your pussy around him. You held each other tightly, afraid to lose one another as space came between you.

The both of you laid there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of being so intimate. You gasped into each others mouths as your heartrates began to slow down ever so slightly.

"God you're so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Christian said in awe of you.

You flushed beneath him becoming shy.

"Babe you just came all over my dick. You really shouldn't be that shy," he said cheekily. You scoffed and hit his chest slightly.

"You're actually ridiculous," you said lovingly, pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss.

He pecked you once more before pulling out of you. He got up, grabbing a towel and gently cleaning your body. He left kisses as he went, worshipping your body. Once he was done, he laid on his back bringing your head onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you tucked yourself beneath his arm.

"Are we okay Christian?" you asked meekly.

"Yeah baby. We're okay. We're gonna be okay."

Taglist: @pulisicsgirl @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @masonspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @lovelynikol16 @bracedes @mortirolo @nyctophilic0vitnir

[pookie-mulder]

August 2024 fic roundup

This was truly the month of the longfic. And to think I only read short fics until @skelavender showed me the error of my ways!

📰🖋️ Paracelsus by prufrockslove

One of the biggest txf fics ever, and I absolutely devoured it. I loved reading it right after Hiraeth and seeing all the little nods to their past lives. This author knows how to spin a yarn, guys. My one complaint is the never-ending miscommunications towards the end, which is never my favorite source of drama/conflict. Just talk to each other, you idiots! (Although they have those moments in canon, as well, I suppose.)

⚾️🏟️ A Moment in the Sun by prufrockslove

I will remember this fic for the rest of my life. It’s the type of fanfic you want to write fanfic about. It makes me wish I knew now to print and bind my own books. The universe is so rich and developed. Definitely in my top 5 of all time!

Here’s a list of things I love about it:

William. My precious, bratty British boy.

The way the plot includes elements of the mytharc but put together in a different way so you don’t know exactly how it’s all gonna come together

Emily!! You know I love a good Emily AU, and this fic certainly counts. I’m a sucker for a found family, and this fic delivers.

Josh Exley my beloved (and Arthur Dales, but the other one)

Dad!Mulder. The man is an absolute DILF. He tries so hard to overcome his shortcomings and be the father his kids need.

Frohike. His job as an eccentric baseball manager suits him surprisingly well, and his characterization is on point.

The little nods to canon, including episode titles and locations.

The insinuation that all of PFL’s AUs take place in the same universe (as Mulder said, “It has to take more than one lifetime to learn to love someone this much.”)

The only thing I’m not zazzed about is the ending. It kind of just…ends? I would’ve loved an epilogue or even a sequel (or a 12-book series).

🏫📸 Dr. Scully’s School for Exceptional Boys by prufrockslove

Oh boy. This fic is a tangled mess of emotions and betrayal and shame and guilt and love and promises and sacrifices and, most of all:

Definitely recommend.

👒👩‍🔬 The Regency Files by @slippinmickeys

I needed something that needed less mental energy after 4 massive PFL fics in a row, and this one delivered! It’s sweet, romantic, elegant, and has just enough of a plot to keep you interested. If you’re a fan of historical AUs (as I am now, I guess), this one’s a must-read!

🛌🍷 The Reunion by @muldersfingers

Absolute trope-y goodness without feeling too cheesy or predictable. My favorite part is how much they laugh and tease each other when they finally make use of that one bed ;)

🐶🥇 underdog takes the title by @wtfmulder

MSR’s first time is sweet, silly, and giggly. Mulder is absolutely pathetic and pitiable, which Scully finds hot (same, girl). It absolutely melted my heart!

👶👨‍🍼 the bitter and the sweet by @xf-cases-solved

What if baby William was a girl? What if they named her after Samantha?

Absolute perfection. This is how season 8 should have ended!

🏔️🌲 The Mountain Man and A Deadly Hunger by aka_Jake

This historical AU takes place in the same time period as Paracelsus, but it’s so vastly different in its setting that it’s unfair to compare them. In this one, Mulder is a Montana mountain man who smuggles arms to the Native Americans, and Scully hopes to become an army doctor in a nearby frontier town. It’s a classic Wild West romance with plenty of drama and conflict. I love how each of the characters feel like themselves, especially Scully, who retains her headstrong independence despite social norms.

🔙🥩 The Mastodon Diaries by aka_Jake

Mulder and Scully travel back in time to the Pleistocene era and must rely on their wits and each other to survive.

This is one of those fics that changes you as a person. I will be thinking about it for a long, long time. It broke my heart a thousand times and then lovingly stitched it back together. There were so many moments that took my breath away.

The portrayal of prehistoric humans is especially incredible — they’re so well-thought out, and their culture is so rich and developed. Even though 12,000 years separates us, we’re not so different from each other in the end. I absolutely fell in love with the native OCs, which is a compliment of the highest order. I already miss them!

Anyway, it’s like this fic was created in a lab specifically for me. It has all my favorite tropes and story elements: wilderness survival, historical AU(ish), soooo much whump and caretaking and hurt/comfort, found families, Dad!Mulder, and a surprising amount of romance. If you haven’t read this one yet, I’m begging you to give it a try!

🇦🇶❄️ On the Verge by aka_Jake

This fic fits into one of my favorite canon holes: How did Mulder and Scully get back from Antarctica? I love reading everyone’s different takes on this missing scene/plotline, and this one is no exception!

[cupidgwk]

. . ! oblivious — kim gyuvin

► more friends to lovers !!!!

► synopsis: you and gunwook devised the oh so, full proof plan to get gyuvin to fall for you!!!

► slightly proof read

► p.s gunwook is best wingman

step one — get closer to him (physically)

gunwook laid out the steps for you one by one. first, you’d have to get close to him but in a subtle way!

his bright idea? turning up the a/c. what you didn’t expect was gunwook setting the temperature to a chilling 60 degrees.

“oh it’s pretty cold in here isn’t it.” gunwook ponders.

“yeah, just how cold is it?” you glared at gunwook as your teeth chattered.

“oh don’t worry about it! the air conditioner must be broken.” he shrugged avoiding eye contact.

gyuvin still had his eyes fixated to the tv in full focus in his mario kart race.

“are you cold y/n?” hanbin questioned. “you can wear my sweater if you want!”

“oh thank you hanbin! you shouldn’t have…” your fully slightly pained smile spilling out as you accepted the wrong person’s hoodie.

gunwook physically smacked his hand against his forehead.

spoiler alert: it did leave a mark on his forehead that lasted a good two days.

step one. failed.

step two — make him good ol’ baked home goods

you trusted gunwook with your life after all. well, not after the kitchen fiasco that was.

“uhm, is that supposed to be bubbling?” you questioned in concern watching the “cookies” bake in the oven.

“i don’t think so,” he trailed off in fear. “just how many tea spoons of baking powder did you add?”

“i think, around 3?” you replied.

“that can’t be right, then why is the-“ realization flashed through his eyes.

“oh man..” he started.

“what did i do.”

“well, you may have used table spoons instead of tea spoons.” gunwook stated re-reading the baking instructions.

he pointed his finger to the top of the ingredient list. “also, we used baking powder instead of soda.”

to make the situation even worse, the smell of smoke entered your nostrils.

“there is no way…” you raced to the oven and fished the tray of slightly burned cookies.

of course at the worse timing ever, gyuvin enters the kitchen, clearly looking for whatever he can stuff into his mouth.

“yay cookies!” his eyes lit up. “i love home made ones the best!”

“gyuvin wait!” but you and gunwook were a little too late. as gyuvin munched into the baked good that didn’t even deserve to be called a cookie.

gyuvin’s face went from joy to confusion to pure disgust.

“oh wow guys this is the best thing i’ve ever tasted!” he managed to cough out.

“dude, you can be honest.” gunwook deadpanned.

“i need a moment.” he mumbled making his way toward the bathroom.

in the distance you can hear the faucet running as gyuvin attempted to get any taste of that concoction out of his taste buds.

“great! i gave him food positioning!” you slouched onto the floor in defeat.

step two. failed.

and so the saga continued. gunwook would come up to you every day with a new plan to push gyuvin closer to you. of course, most. well. all of the attempts resulted in failure.

one failed attempt after another felt like a never ending rollercoaster. step 4? yujin beat you to asking gyuvin to share an umbrella on the walk home. step 5? we don’t talk about step 5.

“gunwook, i am one failed attempt away from dropping out and moving across the country. the continent even!” you flailed your arms in annoyance.

gunwook shook his head in disagreement. “no can do!” he shook his finger. “i got this covered y/n, just you wait!”

do not fret. gunwook wasn’t class president for no reason. he devised yet another foolproof plan by adding any steps necessary to ensure by the end of the day you and gyuvin will be a couple.

step ??? — become partners for the upcoming group project

gunwook may or may not have pulled a couple strings to ensure that you and gyuvin would be partners in the newest english assignment.

“hey y/n!” gyuvin greeted pulling up a seat next to you. “what exactly did the teacher say? sorry i think i fell asleep for most of it.”

you laughed at his demeanor before quickly explaining the project requirements and such. surprisingly enough, gyuvin listened intently nodding along to the words spilling from your mouth.

“thanks y/n!” he smiled. “so, when is this due?”

“we have around two weeks or so,” you tapped your pen on your bottom lip as you scanned the instruction sheet once more.

“wanna visit the café across the school so we can sort stuff out?” gyuvin questioned tiling his head.

your face erupted into a smile at his suggestion. “you sure this isn’t just an excuse to try their new season menu?” he pouted at your words lightly shoving your shoulder. “come one! please~”

you rolled your eyes at his antics. “of course gyuvin~” teasing him.

-

conversations filled the hallway as students rushed to beat rush hour on the train. the two of you continued to converse as you made your way to the train station. of course, gyuvin forgot to reload his train pass resulting in the two of you missing the train.

“i’m so sorry!” gyuvin apologized clasping his hands together. you laughed at his dramatic apology shaking your head playfully. “don’t sweat it, it gives me more time to spend with you.”

“what?” gyuvin questioned. your face immediately burned up as regret filled your mind. before you can even stutter out a response, gyuvin came up with one himself.

“glad to know, my plan worked,” you raised an eyebrow in suspicion. he turns to face you. “why don’t we turn that study session into a real date? you know, to make up for missing the train and everything.”

you rolled your eyes playfully. “of course!” a smile erupted on his face as he suddenly engulfed you in his arms.

“i’ve been waiting so long to do this.”

gunwook’s full proof plan to get you and gyuvin together: SUCCEEDED

[twig-tea]

Top 5 moments of yearning in 2023 bl (no cheating you can only pick 5)

WOW. wowowowowowow. Wow. It's almost as though you saw my other answers before asking this (which I know you didn't because this came in first and I am Slow). Rude.

First, I need to establish a very important distinction: Pining (my beloved) is when you think or are determined that it will never happen; yearning (also my beloved) is when you think it could and are really struggling to hold yourself back from just going for it right now for Reasons. The possibility of fulfillment is the main difference.

Second distinction: Yearning is not necessarily sexual tension. It can be an element of it, but yearning is about wanting something, whether that's sex, closeness, acceptance, or something else. It's about wanting existing barriers to drop that are preventing you from having the thing you want most in that moment, whether they're internal or external, physical or metaphysical.

Finally, as much as I would love to talk about only my favourite shows exclusively forever, you did ask for my top five moments rather than top 5 shows that contain yearning, so I stuck to the rules. All that is to say, there are a couple of series on this list that I don't actually recommend lol

With that out of the way:

Top [For Real Only] 5 Moments of Yearning in 2023 BLs Because Shan Hates Me

1. Jae Won yanking and then patting down Ji Hyun before putting him in a cab, The Eighth Sense

Basically this whole show is yearning (except for the brief interlude for pining). I chose this moment because this was the first moment I was certain they both actually knew what was going on and it was clear to them both that they could have this, at least in theory; the tension felt palpable, and I really wasn't sure whether they were going to hold back or not. Jae Won is supposed to be saying goodbye, but he can't keep it in to the point where he just can't stop touching Ji Hyun (that backpack pull that happens immediately before this, guh), and Ji Hyun is also so clearly soaking it up. When the cab pulls up and they just keep staring, there was a real question in my mind about whether they were going to break and just go for it or not. For these two it's not just about sex; they yearn for version of one another they are when they're together, and they don't want the spell to end.

2. Khun Lu and Ken almost kiss while naked in bed, Chains of Heart

I'm still not entirely sure I know what happened in that show, but the yearning between these two was palpable the whole time. In this particular scene, Ken has just seen a hint the previous night that Lu is in fact Din, his missing-presumed-dead lover, and he's already previously rejected Lu on the premise that Din is still alive and is the only man he'll ever love, even though he feels drawn to Lu. Up until then, his yearning was for Din, though he also felt something for Lu. Now suddenly he's presented with the possibility that he's already reunited with his lover, which is all he wants, though he's unsure that's what's happening. On the other side of this equation, Lu has been wanting as much of Ken as he can charm, trick, or beg for. He just wants him now, here, under the pretense of this new body, because he knows Ken will never be safe if Din is thought to still be alive. At the same time, he is torn between wanting to be near Ken to keep him safe and wanting to stay away to keep him safe. Yearning barely covers it.

3. The post-sex breakdown of Yai and Jom in I Feel You Linger In The Air

This scene was particularly painful because the yearning only hits harder after his orgasm, rather than the catharsis Jom was probably expecting. In this scene they weren't just yearning for one another physically like in earlier parts of the show; they are yearning for a future they can't have together but both want and in this moment feels like it should be possible. Yai really looks like he wants to meld into Jom's skin. The way that sex does not break the yearning is quietly devastating. Is there anything worse than having everything you want in your arms but knowing you can't keep it?

4. Patts desperate to get through to Saengai on the other side of the door, La Pluie

@liyazaki the tumblr gif search is not crediting you properly so adding a tag to you here!

Listen, Patts has been yearning for reciprocation from his soulmate for years before he meets Saengtai, and it did not at all stop once they met, it just changed in quality. He's always yearned rather than pined because with soulmates comes the expectation that it will work, because of 'destiny'. We saw him say in a flashback that he thought his soulmate could be platonic, and I do believe him when he says to Nara that he'd be fine with that, because what he really yearns for is to be understood and wanted for himself (hence the heartbreaking line "is it that hard to choose me?" that comes before this). The fact that someone had a "destined" connection to him and rejected him for years took a real toll on this man. The way he claws at the door in this scene will stay with me into 2024.

5. Minato and Shin at the Onsen, Minato's Laundromat s2

As much as I dislike where this season went, a yearning list would not be complete without Shin and Minato. We spend a lot of time with Shin's yearning in this show, but we get glimpses that Minato is actually yearning too throughout the season and especially at the onsen. In this scene, he tries to get drunk to get past his own insecurities, but it doesn't work as well as he wanted. This scene was all about Minato articulating all the ways he also yearns, and how it's overwhelming for him--and how that overwhelm is frustrating. I love this outpouring of Minato's frustration around his own internal blockers to what he wants. Also Shin swallowing in this gif makes it perfectly clear he is also Suffering. Perfection.

Bonus and it doesn't count as cheating because it's not a BL SO THERE:

Sam and Mon comforting one another after Sam's grandmother found out about their relationship, GAP

This show was such a mess but my god these two women wanted one another so badly, and I appreciated the hell out of that. It felt like yearning rather than pining until near the end, because all through their getting together phase they insisted on such an intense level of denial that they didn't even seem to worry about what they wanted being impossible, they just knew they didn't have it yet. So they did things like bite one another and pretend it was platonic and wonder why they weren't satisfied. I was thinking about going with an early scene where they barely resist the urge to make out, but instead I went with this one because I think it's a double-whammy. in this scene, Sam is trying to get Mon to tell her what's wrong, and Mon confesses that Sam's grandmother saw her at her house and asked her to leave Sam. Instead of pulling away, Mon clings to Sam, and Sam apologizes to her for not being there for her. Sam thinks she can talk her around to accepting Mon. "Don't worry; I'll talk to her. We'll get through this". The yearning here is for them to be together and safe; accepted by their families and happy, and not feeling this pain. I don't recommend this show, but there is something to be said for the way it showed the impact of intergenerational trauma and the very real yearning so many of us feel to just be accepted as we are.

[hongtiddiez]

your top five favourite soft scenes in bl <3

ask me my top 5 bl anything 🌸

AAAA I LOVE SOFT SCENES THANK YOU AL (and happy new year beloved!)

BE MY FAVORITE | PISAENGKAWI

i could just make this entire list scenes from Be My Favorite, to be honest. Pisaeng and Kawi are so, so fucking soft, but this is one of my absolute favorite moments. you just know Pisaeng's heart was crawling up his throat.

HISTORY 3: TRAPPED | TANG YI x MENG SHAOFEI

your former enemy now lover, one of if not THE most powerful man in Taipei, stopping in the middle of heated kissing to kneel at your feet and reverently press a kiss to the wound you received while protecting his sister? FUCK. i didn't consider this one of my favorite BLs but i literally can't get this scene or them out of my head, so i might be wrong about that.

NOT ME | SEANWHITE

Is that the sound of your heart beating? Thump, thump, thump, thump.

GAWD. what the FUCK man. i feel like crying just briefly rewatching that scene alone, it's such a gentle reprieve from everything going on in their lives, an impossibly soft moment captured between them. and seeing White so playful in love? AUGH.

MOONLIGHT CHICKEN | FINALE

i could also fill all 5 of these just with Moonlight Chicken moments but i wanted to include a moment that wasn't necessarily between a couple. i love this moment of family and peace at the end of everything, the way everyone comes together and things are different but that's okay. there's so much i always want to say about MC but i feel so much for it i can't ever really properly put it into words (shocking from me, i know.) this show is just so special to me.

SEMANTIC ERROR | JANG JAEYONG x CHU SANGWOO

I was so nervous.

it's Sangwoo's acceptance and Jaeyong's palpable relief. it's how Jaeyoung looks like he still can't believe this is happening. it's how they fit so perfectly together like they were always supposed to find each other. I NEED MORE OF THEM.

because it was so hard to pick just 5 here are 3 honorable mentions:

LAST TWILIGHT | MHOKDAY

i'm still here. i'll probably be here for a while. i'll probably never forget this.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME | ZE RUI x ZONG YI

the reunion was so incredible and soft and UGHHHHH. the way i felt so fucking relieved like it actually affected me at all

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME | CHEN YI x AI DI

it was so nice to see them so soft after all the shit they had to go through to get together. they're so comfortable and at peace with just about the only people they can be that way with and it makes me want to bite someone.

[jhilsara]

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.

Chapter 5

Life threatening events were not on her bucket list. In fact, MJ was content to mind her business and talk to pub patrons. She was happy to come in, pours some pints, make a cocktail, chat up the patrons and learn their stories, and then roll on home in the early morning hours. That was her routine every single day, she liked it that way. Her life wasn't supposed to be filled with crazy events and super villains. She was just a normal woman working in a small pub.

So why the hell does stuff just keep happening to her?

She’s been exhausted for the past two weeks, and it's not from any freak run ins with her local vigilante. To her surprise it's because of a single patron who started coming to the pub. Usually MJ is okay with the occasional drunkard. They always have at least one every other night.

MJ’s favorites are posted in small polaroid pictures behind the bar top that Andy has taken. The pub keeps a polaroid camera as a little gimmick for busy weekends. Andy will walk around to the tables and snap pictures of friends and couples. It’s just a cute extra thing they like to do, keeps patrons longer. The owner pays for the film and Andy likes talking to people. It’s a win-win. Especially the wall of shame, which has pictures of the unruly drunk bastards they’ve kicked out. It's her favorite photo section secretly, the faces they make when Andy points the flash at them is really entertaining. 

They have a new regular though and he drinks every night until her or Andy cuts him off. That's not uncommon, to have people come in and be cut off after an obscene amount of alcohol. It's not just the fact he's a heavy drinker... there's something unsettling about how he drinks that has starting to stress MJ out.

She can't put her finger on it, but it makes her stomach drop in dread every time she sees him. He drinks more than any patron they’ve seen before, but never gets unruly. He sits quietly, drinking beer after beer. His eyes following her, like a predator looking at their next meal. She hates interacting with him. It's his eyes, they're so... hollow.

The last time she handed him his tab he caressed her hand and she recoiled just as quickly. He gave her a slimy kind of smile that had her gritting her teeth. His eyes burning into her skin, making her itch and want to scream. She hasn’t served him tonight, but she feels him staring at her. She always feels his eyes following her, like a creepy portrait at night.

He genuinely scares her. Has her almost debating if she should just quite. She even tried to swap times with a coworker but he followed. He was there every time she was scheduled without fail. How he knew she was trying to change shifts made her even more unsettled. Making her skin prickle like she was being stabbed by tiny needles. 

She mentioned it to her manager but he just dismissed how she felt. Saying she was over reacting; the guy isn’t disruptive and he hasn’t actually done anything to her. All she could think was, ‘yet, he hadn’t done anything yet’.

She didn't bother trying to change shifts after that. She was ready to just leave the pub all together, but the pay was good. Too good to try and job hunt because of one man that creeped her out. 

She shakes herself out of her spiraling thoughts and tries to keep working. There was no use sitting there stewing on him, it would just terrify her. She wraps up her shift and goes in the back to clock out. Before she walks out though, she goes back to ask Andy a question about a show they were hosting the next night. She needed the contact information and Andy had taken the call. 

When she walks back out, she sees the guy is gone. Her gut is telling her it's wrong, he usually stays all night. Her face pales at the idea of walking out.

“Where did he go?” MJ asks pointing to his empty chair, her tone clipped. 

Andy shrugs nonchalantly, “He just closed out his tab. Why?”

MJ grows quiet and crosses her arms. “This is gonna sounds crazy, but something about him really freaks me out.”

Andy shakes her head. “No, not crazy. I don’t like how he looks at you. It’s fucking gross.” Andy frowns looking at her friend. It validates MJ's feelings and she sighs in mild relief. Someone else noticed. 

MJ leans on the back counter thinking, “Can I stay until you get off? I- I just have a bad feeling.” She asks looking at Andy with pleading eyes.

Andy nods her head, “Absolutely!" She replies reassuringly. "My boyfriends picking me up tonight and we can walk ya home or you can tag along with us. I’d hate for that guy to try and follow ya home.” She mutters bitterly making a disgusted face. 

MJ nods her head. “Thanks, I’m just gonna hang out in the office then. Maybe check the cameras.” She says pointing to the back.

MJ goes into the managers office, he wasn’t working tonight anyway, and she looks through his desktop to check the cameras. Her stomach was churning with uncertainty. 

Sure enough, the guy is creeping around the corner. He’s watching the back door. Suddenly a cold chill runs up her back. She jolts up and makes sure the back doors are locked. She quietly goes back into the office and curls in the chair, her body shaking. She takes a deep, nervous breath and just tries to not think about it.

There is no denying it, he definitely was waiting for her.

She shoves her face into her hands and tries to take some calming deep breathes. Her fingers dig into her hair and she holds it tightly. It doesn’t stop the panic rising in her chest. It burns in the back of her throat like bile and she squeezes her eyes shut.

With unsteady hands she shoots Hobie a text, asking if he could come pick her up. She doesn’t know if she can wait until Andy gets off. She looks back over to the cameras and the man isn't there anymore.

It should calm her down, she should be relieved, but it doesn’t. It's the opposite of reassuring... in fact it puts her on edge and she's more nervous than before.

Suddenly the back door handle starts to jiggle, almost as if someone’s trying to open it. She stares at the handle frozen in fear for what feels like forever. Her heart feels like it’s in her throat. 

Just as soon as the door handle shook, it ends. Leaving her alone in the silence.

She’s trembling and tries to calm herself down. He can’t get in.

He can’t get in. He can’t get in. He can’t get in. He can’t get in. He can’t get in. He can’t get in. She tells herself over and over again.

She locked it, it’s industrial, as long as she's in the back she's safe. She spends the next ten minutes trying to come down from her mini panic attack. Her body feels numb and she's never felt this frighten for her own life. Which feels trivial in the face of the strange super humans running around Old York.

Her phone buzzes, pulling her out. Hobie had texted her back, saying he was on his way. She was going to be fine.

She finally settles her breathing and feels calm enough to wait for Hobie. Her judgement was correct. She hears screaming and glasses shattering. The noise is so foreign she doesn't realize it's real until Andy comes plowing around the corner and barreling into the office. Andy slams the door shut, and turns off the lights. Her face is filled with fear as she turns around to grab MJ. 

“That guy, MJ, he- he came back!" Andy starts to whisper shout. Her voice hitching in anxiety. "He's bonkers! Threw a fit and breaking shit!" she says rushing over her words. "He was screaming for you MJ, Lars is handling it but I bolted." She grabs her hand and tries to drag MJ with her, "We have to go!” She’s whispering at her aggressively.

MJ moves to hold Andy's arms, she looks past her down at the computer's camera and sees Lars handing the man. The two girls take the opportunity to go to the back door and try to escape. They are met with an unbudging door.

“No, no, no, no!” MJ hisses and tries to open the door again, throwing her body weight at the door. She's frantic to get out, just escape.

“What the fuck!” Andy almost shouts. They try again and are meet with nothing. They're trapped. 

They hear glass breaking and it makes them freeze for only a moment before fear grips them. They run into the office, closing the door and locking it.

MJ makes her way over to the computer and sees the guy standing over Lars, holding a broken liquor bottle with a tight grip. She clutches at Andy and looks at her with wide eyes.

“I think he just killed Lars!” She hisses.

“What the fuck!” Andy replies and the two girls watch him through the camera. He’s blocking their only exit.

“We have to hide, that’s all we can do, or distract him…” MJ mutters.

“Where the hell are we gonna hide?!” Andy says in irritation.

MJ looks over to the closet in the office and shoves herself and Andy in it. The closet is filled with anything and everything, it’s honestly a mess. This could be to their advantage though. MJ finds an empty barrel, one used as decoration, and tells Andy to get in. Her friend looks at her like she’s mad.

“I’m not getting in that.” Andy hisses in a whisper.

“It’s the best spot you have and we don’t have a lot of time right now Andy!" MJ shots back quickly in irritation. "If he finds a locked door he’s breaking in. I’m gonna lock the closet but it can only give us so much time.” MJ whispers aggressively.

Andy sighs and gets in the barrel. “If he finds me first I’m killing you, not him.” She mutters.

MJ rolls her eyes but closes the barrel’s lid. She looks at the corner that’s filled with an abundance of random things. She moves some stuff around to hide behind. This is as good as it's going to get. The objects she's hiding behind are also hidden by a curtain. She hopes it'll be enough to save her. She’s shaking, clutching her phone to her chest. She turns it on silent, but texts Hobie quickly. She tells him in as little words as possible she’s hiding in the office and for him to call for help.

She knows the cops won’t come, even after their ‘reform’ they still don’t do much. Much less care about a local pub issue. That’s why they had Lars as their bouncer. Now Lars was maybe dead and it’s not like she could just call up the local vigilante.

She’s screwed unless she can somehow take this guy out herself with Andy. She’s trembling, clutching onto herself to not cry, this is not how she wants to go. Not from some creepy drunk patron. 

She hears the office door get kicked in and she tries to not gasp. He’s more than likely going to find her and not Andy, which she knew that was the risk. She’s holding onto a crowbar with a death grip. She’s just waiting for him to get in the closet. If he finds her she'll swing, fight, scream and claw her way out.

She wants to shut her eyes like a little kid and pretend this isn’t happening, but she can’t. Her hearts pounding as she hears the loud bangs on the closet door. With every hit it makes her jump. Then she hears it crash to the floor followed by heavy footsteps.

She’s trying to keep it together but tears fall down her face. She’s only human and fear is gripping at her heart.

She hears a loud grunt and a collapsing. She doesn’t dare look, but she hears something dragging against the floor.

“I don’t think ladies like stalkers much.” She hears, a new voice says mockingly.

She sits up quickly as she hears the familiar voice. She moves to stand up and quietly goes to look. She sees a distinctly spider silhouette through the broken down doorway.

His figure disappears but she can still hear him. He’s talking to the drunkard so she uses this opportunity to grab Andy. She rushes over to the barrel that Andy’s in and slides the lid off. She whispers to her, “Spider-Man’s here!”

“What?! How?” Andy says in surprise, they can hear the guy getting slammed into something, making them both jump. The noises they hear consist of loud banging and something being broken.

“Hell, if I know!” MJ hisses and makes her way over to the fallen doorway.

She peers around the corner, still trying to hide herself, and sees that Spider-Man has the guy pinned down. Arms tied behind his back and his face had been slammed into the desk. Specifically, the keyboard. The pieces are scattered and broken on the floor, a small pool of blood is underneath the man's head. 

She takes a shaky breath, one entirely too quiet, it’s enough to notify Spider-Man of her presence, his head shooting up to look at her. She sees his body relax, if just a fraction, upon seeing her.

“Mariana,” he whispers her name, so soft she almost misses it. “Always in trouble…” He says much louder, scoffing and shaking his head. She's frozen in place just watching him with large eyes.

He leans down next to the man's ear, “You’re lucky I got better things to do than rip you apart…” he hisses out.

He webs the guys arms together behind his back and throws him against the wall and webbing him there. He’s covered from the neck down to his feet, he is definitely not moving anytime soon.

Andy comes over next to her and grips MJ’s arm, letting out her own shuddering breath.

“Fuck, Lars!” Andy says in realization and bolts back to the front of the pub to assess their security guard.

MJ can’t move, her eyes are glued to Spider-Man, she feels like she’s going to pass out from the swell of relief. He turns back and silently comes over gently grabbing her shoulders to look at her.

“C’mon let’s get you outta here.” He says, voice a little gruff as he wraps an arm around her. She leans her weight into him as a support almost instinctively. She’s still trembling slightly from the fear that gripped her heart.

They walk through the front and MJ sees Andy helping Lars sit up. He was okay, just a little scratched up. MJ smiles, glad to know her bouncer was safe and not dead.

“We’re gonna call someone and I’m staying with Lars. MJ you should go.” Andy says looking over at the two.

Before she can open her mouth and protest staying with them the vigilante speaks up, “I’ll get her home.” 

Before MJ can even find her voice to respond the two are outside and he’s pulled her against him like before and starts swinging them across the city.

She’s confused and nauseous her grip tight as he swings them.

“You okay?” He asks her.

“Is this really the best time to ask me?” She mutters, groaning at the quick movements and feeling the air hit her face. Instead of it being refreshing, it stings instead.

“You gotta talk to me, it doesn’t have to be about that.” He says, voice a little rough. His grip on her tightening a fraction.

“Why?” She asks. She leans back enough to try and look at his face. Even covered in a mask, she’s trying to find something to help her read his expression.

“I just need a distraction or I’m gonna go back and rip him in half like the scum he is.” He mutters bitterly.

She narrows her eyes and whatever jumbled thoughts were swimming in her brain have finally clicked together, like pieces of a puzzle.

“Fine…but I can’t talk about what just happened.” she replies.

He grunts in acknowledgement, “Anything, we can talk about anything.” He keeps swinging, he doesn’t even need directions to get to her flat. He’s taking the right turns, as if he's done it a million times before.

“When were you gonna tell me you’re Spider-Man?” she accuses without hesitation. 

He misses his next web, causing them to fall a bit before he catches them again. His masks eyes widen as he looks at her.

Her brows are furrowed and she’s looking at him expectantly.

“What ya talkin’ about? Course I’m Spider-Man.” He tries to play off with a fake laugh.

Her face doesn’t change she raises a brow in irritation, “Hobie.” Her voice is shaking a bit, “When were you going to tell me?” She says again.

He groans and stops swinging them, he lands them on a random roof and he sets her down. His hands cover his masked face as he shakes his head. Pacing back and forth. He turns to look at her, pauses, and then rolls his head back again.

He pulls his mask off and gives her a look like he’s mildly impressed. “What gave it away?” He asks.

She takes a deep breath, “You, you were the only one I had texted…and well, you called me Mariana. Pretty sure I never told Spider-Man my name.” she whispers.

He nods and walks closer to her, he brushes his hand along her cheek, “You’re okay right? He didn’t find you?” he asks. His eyes looking over her, making his own assessment.

She nods, “No you got there just in time.” She whispers, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She presses the heels of her palms into her eyes trying to stop herself from crying.

 She’s safe. She knows she’s safe. Hobie came like he said he would.

She runs her hands down her face and looks up at him, his body has relaxed and he pulls her to him. Tightly hugging her. She easily wraps her own arms around him, grounding herself.

“You’re too much trouble…” He murmurs into her hair.

She chuckles in response and presses her forehead to his shoulder, “Maybe it’s you who’s trouble.” She replies.

He gives a dry laugh, “Yeah, probably.”

The two hold onto each other tightly, breathing together, trying to match their hearts to the same gentle rhythm. 

[dandylovesturtles]

Top Ten Posts of 2023

I decided, why not? ^^

I'm limiting this to fics/analysis/headcanon/etc posts I made during the year and skipping over anything that isn't my actual creative work. That said, if you're curious, my actual top post was this funky screenshot from episode 2.

10. Everyone's just fine with Donnie modding the moon buggy? (362 notes)

It occurred to me that despite being MASSIVE nerds for the Jupiter Jim franchise, the bros seemed awfully chill with Donnie taking an actual on-set moon buggy and modding the hell out of it.

A few people argued with me in the notes that the Turtle Tank is so cool no one could possibly be mad about it and I do think that's fair. The Turtle Tank is easily my favorite thing Donnie made in the show.

9. Splinter and Leo talk post movie (443 notes)

And then his dad walks in and says, “I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone.” And suddenly Leo doesn’t feel so good anymore.

This is the most recent tumblr fic I've done (I think lol), so seeing it make it this high felt pretty good. I love Splinter and his boys... they make me emotional.

8. A headcanon about the Disaster Twins (445 notes)

I have a headcanon that the twins are lowkey always trying to get each other to laugh.

This is still true.

7. A showcase of Donnie's injuries in End Game (462 notes)

So everyone talks about Donnie getting his shell shredded by the Shredder in Many Unhappy Returns but I feel like it’s underappreciated that that happened to him coming off of getting his ass beat in End Game like

One of the first posts I made when I made this blog haha. Poor Donnie |'D

6. Donnie records everything (617 notes)

broke: Donnie listening to what happened in the prison dimension woke: Donnie showing Raph Leo’s big damn hero speech since he wasn’t there the first time

The main reason why this has so many notes is because @roseverdict wrote a great fic down in the notes that you should all go read.

5. Leo asks Donnie a favor (829 notes)

“You might as well tell me what you need,” he says, turning to his computer and pulling up his list. “I’ll assess it and prioritize.” “No, no, that’s okay. It’s nothing,” Leo insists. “Nardo.” Donnie levels his best stare at him. “What is it?”

I love writing the Disaster Twins being soft and you guys love it when I write it too.

4. Present Donnie and Future Donnie have a little disagreement (CAS AU fic) (1,242 notes)

“What was I supposed to do, tie him to a chair?” “Yes!?” says Mini-him like he’s stupid, which warrants a scoff.

Shoutout to @skcirthinq who doodled a comic version of their conversation.

3. Casey Jr. and Uncle Tello troll Present Donnie (CAS AU fic) (1,701 notes)

Casey Jr, says Uncle Tello’s voice. Uncle Tello? Do you want to see something really funny?

This is my actual fic with the most notes! I'm glad you all enjoyed this silly little take on what was actually an incredibly intense moment in Cass's original comic.

2. Mikey contacts the Hamato ancestors (2,054 notes)

future Mikey: *trying to contact the spirits of the Hamato for advice and guidance in the apocalypse* Donnie’s spirit: Hello, you are now communing with Donatello.

I can't believe you guys gave over 2K notes to the stupidest joke I've ever made. Shoutout to @nonymous06 for this artist's rendition.

and finally, drum roll please.....

My top post of 2023:

1. A very silly idea for a separated AU (4,283 notes)

non-angsty ROTTMNT separated AU where the boys meet online and bond over their shared love of Jupiter Jim and skateboarding and Lou Jitsu. Then one day they agree to meet irl for the first time at a con and decide to dress as turtle aliens.

This post spawned an adorable fanart by @thatsmutbean , this hilarious fanart by @onionninjasstuff , and an entire fanfic called new phone who dis by @rbtlvr

This has been an incredible year! My love for ROTTMNT has not diminished in the slightest and I still have lots of ideas, so I hope you guys stick with me for 2024. Thanks again! Happy New Year!!

[remidyal]

Game Changer Season 6 episodes, ranked by my personal enjoyment

Because I also enjoy arbitrarily ranking things! If you disagree... I mean, that's fine? I liked every episode this season, just.. I liked some episodes better than others. I'm grouping the Ratfish episodes together, so we've got eight entries. Spoilers for, um, every game changer episode this season, obviously.

#8 Pencils Down:

I'm not as into drawings and all as I am a lot of the other stuff, though this was probably the most wholesome episode of this season. I'm, naturally, opposed to wholesomeness too.

Favorite bit:

The proposed tattoos were a lot of fun.

#7 Ratfish (parts 1 and 2):

I think this one got hurt for me by a couple things - I know absolutely nothing about the show they're mimicking, unlike Survivor or the Bachelor, and I did not particularly enjoy anything directly to do with the Ratfish or understand why I should care about his opinions and arbitrary decisions. I assumed that the cast would recognize who this person was and we'd get some kind of payoff there, but nope. Everything just between the cast was great, though.

Favorite bit:

Honestly there's a ton of quick moments to choose from here, but I think my favorite is Brennan incorrectly going for the seat marked Brennan Lee Mulligan at the end.

#6 The Newlyweb Game:

This one was gentle good fun, I enjoyed everyone involved, there were just more standout moments in some of the later episodes on this list. This is fighting with Pencils Down for the most wholesome episode, or at least the one that would least fit into a saw trap. In spite of that this would be the episode all time of Game Changer I would least be willing to be on, even in the world where I'm not firmly aroace and have a partner - I think I would sooner light myself on fire than let someone I know have full access to my phone.

Favorite bit:

Revealing how many unread emails people had and the shock and judgement at totally reasonable numbers, as someone with around forty thousand unread emails in my primary gmail account dating back to 2004.

#5 Bingo

We're really into tough competition now! I loved this episode, and that it somehow turned into a tormenting Brennan episode even though he wasn't even supposed to be there. This was obviously slightly rigged so that the players in the third set of Bingo were most likely to win (and it was actually impossible for the people on stage) but honestly pulling it off was so good.

Favorite Bit:

I mean, it's the reveal to Trapp and everyone of the existence of the third group of course.

#4 Second Place

First, I know that for meta reasons this should be second, but it's not. Oh well. Sam alleges that this episode wasn't intentionally meant to torment Brennan; I do not believe Sam's lies. Everyone in the world saw the twist at the end coming and it's still funny.

Favorite bit:

Ally declaring that Brennan can ring the gong the loudest and Brennan's brain breaking harder than anything that Sam had actually planned.

#3 Sam Says 3

I can't believe this one's only third. If this is how Sam Says ends - and I have a hard time seeing how a fourth edition can escalate, even outside of the BTS claiming that they see three times as the limit for the same premise most of the time - then what an ending. I'm not sure any other game concept has managed to make the players so consistently tricked. My only critique of it is that I think I like the first couple times at this well just a little bit more, with nothing in this quite matching Ally flying to New York or the Something We'll Have To Bleep energy for me.

Favorite Bit:

It's hard to top the fake Sam body dropping from the ceiling.

#2 Beat the Buzzer

Every episode with the Seven cast is always incredible, and production-wise this seems like the craziest thing they've ever pulled off. Any episode where they break out of just the stage is always good, and I think this is the most extensive use of that they've ever done. Incredible variety, great cameos from Aabria and Persephone, complete manic energy from all three contestants. A+ episode.

Favorite Bit:

There's so much here, but I think mine as someone who worked as a pizza delivery driver was the entire exchange where Rehka just ends up getting the bag with the buzzer and a bunch of loose oreos. Was production prepared with everything that was on that menu or would they have actually ordered breadsticks somewhere to use as a prop?

#1 Deja Vu

Time loop stuff is always a favorite of mine, and pulling one off as an episode is ALREADY a great premise before you even get into all of the other cast and the editing. (Shout out to Siobhan Thompson for being in exactly two Game Changer episodes and them being this one and Escape the Green Room; guess we know what pepper rating she puts down.) Great chemistry between the cast, a truly deranged display from Sam, and of course the Wenis. Genuinely the WEIRDEST episode of the season, too, always a good sign.

It's a shame they already repeated the premise too much to do a follow up to this one...

Favorite Bit(s):

I'm doing two for this one because it's my list and I can.

"This isn't fucking Um, Actually!" with sincere righteous anger.

Everything to do with Zac as Grant, most of all how easy it would have been to just make that Zac as Zac.

[harley-michaels-main]

It's been awhile since I did a tier list but I've been into shojo anime and manga recently so I'm gonna rank my top five.

#5: Ouran High School Host Club

Haruhi Fujioka is recruited to join the host club after she breaks a vase!

Ouran is probably one of the best known shojo animes there is. It's funny, light hearted, adorable, and probably is one of the first reverse harem anime to gain a large fan base. And for being made in the early 2000's, the animation still holds up today.

However, the characters do not. There are a lot of things about this show that just did not age well. While I recommend this series I also recommend taking it with a grain of salt. This was made when certain things were socially acceptable that simply are not today.

That is the only reason I would have it at number 5. Other wise, the cast is great. The plot is hilarious. The pacing is well done. Overall, it's a hilarious and feel good show for when you simply don't want to think about what you're watching.

#4 Kamisama Hajimenmashita

After being kicked out of her apartment due to her father's gambling habits, Nanami Momozono must find her place in this world. But becoming an Earth God? How the hell is she supposed to do that?!

This is the first shojo I watched knowing that it was a shojo. I immediately fell in love with the characters and their dynamics. There's complicated back stories as well for those to like to drive a bit more into characters.

Sadly, the anime was rushed to a finish and a lot of the manga was never adapted. While the anime is still great, the ending just feels wrong without having the full story. The manga is completed and I highly recommend reading it. Yet because of the cancelation, I have to put it at number 4.

#3: Yona Of The Dawn

On her 16th birthday, the sole princess of Kouka, Yona, goes to ask her father to reconsider her marriage proposal to the love of her life. Her love had other plans with her father that night.

This is arguably one of the best shojos out there. With an amazing ploy and some of the best characters ever written, your heart is sure to be captured by this.

There is only one season of this however and it sadly looks like there won't be more any time soon.

The reason for this getting third place isn't because of the anime but actually because I just like the other two more. I love the fantasy setting, but I tend to like it more in shounen than shojo.

#2: My Love Story With Yamada-Kun at level 999

After being cheated on and dumped by her boyfriend over a girl he met in a game, Akane Kinoshita sets out to get revenge! By going to an irl game event and make him realize what he's missing out on! If only her luck with shoes was better.

This is a very new shojo with the first season just wrapping up a couple weeks ago. However, the manga has been going strong since 2019 and I have loved every minute of it. Thus has some of the best characters I have ever seen and it just continues to get better. It's also the type of shojo where we get to see the couple progress their relationship as a couple which is amazing.

I will say there are some... spicier bits in the manga so beware of that if it's not your thing. (Nothing explicit is shown)

However we get to see progression from te side characters as well which is also amazing. I love every moment of this and it had me squealing and kicking my feet like a little girl.

#1: Horimiya

The queen bee and the loner realize that maybe they can be their true selves around each other.

This is my all time favorite. I read the manga, watch the og anime, watched the remake, and the missing pieces. I love this story so much.

It portrays realistic relationships and shows that both of the main characters have faults that they work through in their relationship. Not just that, but the side characters get a lot of development as well that makes you rooting for them.

This whole story is so wholesome and it's the perfect thing to unwind to.

[ohraicodoll]

Moments in Domesticity HC

Joel Miller x Feral Reader x Ellie The Last of Us (Show/Game) Feral Reader Masterlist Anon Requests: --“I'm loving all the domestic joel x red x Ellie content. So can we get an insight into how red and joel deal with ellies mood swings? I feel like after settling into Jackson, she will ease into teenage normalcy. I can see red trying to be helpful but just ends up in sleeping in the stables 💀💀💀“  --“Have you thought of red and joel and ellie in jackson 5 years later? like just domestic stuff. they’re all integrated and jackson has been their home for awhile...” --“I NEED to know how Joel would feel/act if red actually left them to go back to the wild, maybe in a jealous fit or something else. I’m begging u” Here’s a long list of different moments! I’ll be touching on stuff that happens after the first couple of years in a different fic, but these touch on stuff that don’t need full fics!

Despite Joel’s concerns, Ellie does make friends though it takes a while. The older kids are only required to go to a few classes a day and then have various jobs they’re suppose to do and she does bond with some of the other teens who think she’s cool. She’s different and when she tells them she’s killed Clickers and survived a Bloater, it cements her as a bad ass amongst them.

Ellie is quiet those first few weeks. They don’t push it but it’s the start of Red leaving little trinkets for her. A lava lamp she found, posters and books and sketch supplies. 

Red knows that Ellie is suspicious of the story Joel told her. Sometimes when the girl pokes, tentatively asks her about the hospital, she glosses over it. Says that she had been knocked out and didn’t come to until the “raiders” were attacking and she helped Joel fight their way out. They just had to get Ellie out. The truth is in there, under the blurry faux details, and it makes it easier to lie. 

There will be a day where she knows Ellie will push for the truth and all she can do is prepare for it. 

Defending Red helps draw Ellie out of her shell. That protective streak over both of them. More than trinkets and Joel trying to use board games and small tokens of the past, Ellie’s need to feel useful and protective is what does the trick. 

Spending time in Jackson with the animals and food and all the new helps as well.

Jesse is older and has taken more of a leadership position over the teens and it helps that when he’s on patrol and Joel is in the group, the older man gives him pointers. Joel notices sometimes how he stares at Ellie and keeps an eye on the boy.

He ribs Ellie about it over the next year or so until it’s broken to him that it’s not boys his kid is into, but girls. Which makes him suspicious of every teenage girl that was ever over in his house.

Joel finds his footing easier than them both. He becomes a valuable member of the patrols and goes back to helping with construction, the skills coming back easily. Though sometimes it’s hard watching Tommy have the life he thought he would have. Married with a baby on the way. His little brother is now the one in charge though he still can’t measure the 2x4′s worth shit and sometimes is dumb as bricks. It hurts but he’s proud of him.

It helps when he comes back home and Ellie is complaining about dumb homework at the table and Red is sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, trying to read the faded instructions on the pasta box. He’s needed in other ways.

There are mornings where Joel and Red get to sleep in. Those are usually the mornings where she is woken up by the slight push of the door opening and then a heavy pouncing on top of her before getting covered in slobber. Joel grunts and curses, covering his face with the comforter and Red tries to duck away from dog breath as Ellie cusses out, “Oh shit, Bowie no! Shit shit, sorry!”

“Ellie, what the hell did we say about bringing the dogs in?” He’s not as angry as he wants it to be, just annoyed as the heavy 80lb dog jumps around on the bed then flops down in between them like a second child. Bowie grins, trying to lick Joel, leash still attached.

“I was just walking him and forgot something in my room and needed to come inside real quick to get it but then he looked like he wanted some water and-”

Red only chuckles and whistles before signaling the dog off the bed, Bowie doing so immediately.

Waking up to dog kisses isn’t the worst. It happens more times than they can count, especially when Ellie is walking the puppies.

Swimming lessons start once the weather warms up. Tommy joins them to show where their usual swimming spot is. Him and Red sit a little higher up on a ridge edge and watch as Joel tries to show Ellie how to move her arms and feet. She clings to him like a toddler even though the water isn’t that deep and sometimes he has to support her stomach to keep her afloat while she gets it.

Tommy makes jokes from above at Joel’s expense, grinning at the comfort of hanging out with his brother and his kid again. That is until Red shoves him off the ridge and he hits the water face first.

If he still wasn’t slightly terrified of her, he’d splash her back.

There are progressive steps forward and some steps back. Joel and Ellie argue, both pushing and testing their boundaries with each other. Red and Joel fight, one not use to people caring about her and the other sometimes too protective. Ellie and Red fight, one desperately clinging to the other in fear of being left and the other worried the closeness will only hurt her. No one knows how to properly handle their emotions. 

They always make up. A tentative offer to take Ellie out to practice shooting the rifle. Joel trailing his fingers through Red’s loose hair, kissing the crown of her head softly. A book of pressed flowers given on the porch, the book Red has been keeping in her bag for years. The first pages are her journal from the beginning of the Outbreak before it stops. All peace offerings. 

Joel is a helicopter parent. When Ellie begins group patrols, he knows exactly who is leading the group and interrogates them after to make sure nothing went wrong and she is doing what she’s supposed to. He knows when she starts hanging out with new friends, like Jesse and Dina and Cat. Ellie is starting to go full-teenager so he tries not to let her know he’s doing it. 

Red catches Ellie making out with her first girlfriend Mia in her room. She doesn’t know what to do, only freezes and backs away slowly then walks back down the stairs. She doesn’t tell Joel.

When Ellie starts going over to friends houses, staying over often or going to hangouts, they relish in having their own space for the first time in a long while. Joel has every intention of fucking Red against every surface and wall, but only manages the couch before someone knocks on the front door. Tommy thinks Joel is going to shoot him for even asking if he can do a night patrol. Red may well murder him if Joel doesn’t.

Joel knows he has to take his time with Red, but patience isn’t a strong suit of his. He missteps a lot, tripping on invisible landmines. Her parents. Her sister. Harry. Those years after the Outbreak but before he met her. She freezes up sometimes and he knows the landmine has gone up in his face.

But she sometimes she drops fragments. Mentions that her father died in the initial chaos though there is nothing sad in her voice. Her mother’s is always mentioned in disdain. That things between her and Harry had been complicated in the year or so before the Outbreak. That things were tense with her family. The way she clams up when asked if she was with a group is it’s own hint. He doesn’t push, can only apologize and soothe the shrapnel damage of his mistake. 

There are days when Ellie is just in a mood. She’s snappy, easily irritable, gets sent home early from work duty for behavior (which in turn means Joel gets after her) leading to her being a ball of teenage rage at everyone. Red stays in the kennels those days because it’s easier dealing with a group of dogs than an angry teenager. Jamie, the head vet she sometimes works with, says it’s all part of raising a teenager.

They skip the monthly Jackson gatherings often as their time in town stretches on, though Tommy does bug them to go and actually be a part of the community. Red isn’t keen, especially after her dress experience with Maria, but Joel makes sure to stay at her side every time after. He doesn’t admit that he doesn’t mind going if only because he gets to stand with her, his arms around her waist and swaying slightly to the music, and making sure every man in town knows she’s his.

He doesn’t remember how the conversation leads to Red at the construction site. They’re working and the mention of her name comes up then her last name and instinctively, without thinking, Joel mentions it’s Miller. He can see Tommy’s head whip towards him, but neither of them say anything. 

When Joel finally fixes the guitar, he plays for them. His heart is in his throat but he tries to play it off as casually as he can. Ellie’s been in a mood and thank god, he sees her loosen up afterwards. He promises to start teaching her and once a week they have guitar lessons on the porch. Those are Red’s favorite nights.

They’re having family dinner at Tommy’s one evening when Maria asks teasingly if she needs to get Red some birth control. She freezes and it’s like she’s a trapped animal, breath shaky and panic in her eyes, before biting out a simple, “No.” It’s a little awkward and they try to play it off, moving on. That night he can see the nail gouges in her thighs from her own hands. Joel doesn’t know the full story, but knows her inability to have kids isn’t a natural occurrence. He’s seen the ugly scar on her lower abdomen enough times. 

Outbreak day is a bad day for everyone. The streets are quiet, everyone’s faces drawn. The town hosts a yearly memorial to honor the day and world they lost, but they don’t go. It’s the first year Joel doesn’t drink himself dumb if only because he doesn’t want to freak Ellie out. The teenager doesn’t have a tie to the day, being born long after. But she knows about Sarah and knows both her parental figures faced something horrific. So she does what any kid does and tries to lighten the mood. They play every board game in the house and Ellie picks the best puns and gently asks what Sarah’s favorite things were. It helps a little.

Some nights they get more bits of the lighter Red. They play the record player constantly but some days, the days when maybe one of them finds a new couple of vinyls, they’ll have a night where they each take turns playing their favorite. Red and Joel will drink a bit (and maybe let Ellie have some) and the teenager will grab Red’s hands and force her to dance with her. Joel soaks in the sound of their laughter and it’s like Red is so many years younger. He takes turns with each other them, spinning Ellie around and teaching her to two-step and dancing with his partner to the slower songs. He loves her through rage and violence, but he is at her mercy when she lets him have the fragile bits of herself underneath it all.

Once upon a time, giving someone that kind of control over him would have terrified him but he hands himself over willingly to her now .

Ellie’s first birthday in Jackson is small but they’re still getting use to things. No one knows the exact day she was born, but she knows the day that was on her papers in FEDRA school so they go with that. Joel gets food from the Food Hall and Red tries very very hard to follow a brownie recipe from one of the ladies in the shop. Joel plays her something on the guitar and, in true to them fashion, her gifts are a new revolver, another pun book (though unfortunately not by Wil Livingston) and the news that Brownie the puppy is hers to keep in the kennels.

Red sings for them for the first time that night.

Joel makes plans for a bigger birthday next year.

Danger still exists. It never goes away and Joel wonders if he doesn’t want it to, really. There’s still a thrill when his brother grabs them both to deal with raiders. Seeing that sharpness in Red come alive and the lack of hesitation as she pulls the trigger or draws her bow. The baring of her teeth when she stabs her knife.

He’s seen her tear through a whole group to save him during a patrol. Seen her rip out a man’s throat with her teeth to get to him when they had him trapped. Joel wonders at the broken part of him that enjoys it, seeing her covered in blood and completely feral and knowing it was all for him. 

Every time after, clean or tinged red, he loses himself and fucks her so hard his name is a chorus from her lips and there are gouges down his back from her nails. They were still monsters deep down but it didn’t feel like such an awful thing anymore.

It’s roughly a year and a half later when Ellie comes home with a large bandage on arm. Red is the one to see it first and after being assured she wasn’t injured, the outline of a large tattoo is unveiled, covering the bite there. 

She gets it, gets the fear of Ellie having to hide her arm because they’re afraid someone will shoot their kid. But seeing the tattoo churns something in her gut because it means Ellie’s letting go of that part of her identity as “the immune girl”. And while it should mean something good, that she was moving on, she knows hidden rage when she sees it and it’s deep in the teenage girl. It’s less a letting go and more the identity being ripped away from her.

It takes a bit to calm Joel down. He knows it was Ellie’s friend Cat that did the tattoo and the dad part of him rears up, telling her he doesn’t like her hanging out with that girl. It’s fear, they all know it, because the tattoo also means she showed Cat her arm. 

It’s a rough week. Ellie moves into the converted garage behind the house. 

Red feels unequipped to handle Joel’s fear and Ellie’s rage and all she can do is be there for both. She helps Ellie to decorate the garage, the same as when they first moved into the house, silently there at her side. At night, she prods and pushes Joel until he takes his emotions out on her with bruising fingers and rough kisses. Violence and sex are a comfort she knows well.

Joel and Ellie make up in their own awkward tentative way. Reminders about guitar lessons and dinner plans, requests to help fix the door and some of the walls in the garage. Red wonders if raising a teenager is like this for everyone.

Red goes missing for two days. Both of them panic and raise hell, searching everywhere for her. Ellie’s never seen Joel so out of control. He interrogates every patrolman at the gate roughly and it takes Tommy intervening to keep him from beating the shit out of a few. 

She checked out a horse and left, her bag missing from the first floor room. Ellie feels a knot in her throat and her mind plays on repeat “everyone always leaves” but Joel is pushing her bag into her hands and they off to the stables. Tommy and Maria don’t try to stop them. Red’s already been gone a whole day.

They search for her beyond the walls, calling out for her and checking their usual spots. The worst comes to mind of her getting hurt, getting taken by raiders, getting bit by infected. Because in Joel’s mind, Red would never willingly up and leave without a word. He can’t let that possibility sink in. Even if she did, he’d find her and drag her back to him.

They find her that evening. 

Her eyes are puffy and red and there are scratches all over her arms and hands. They look self-inflicted. She looks as wild as the first day they met her, huddled at the base of a large tree and hair all over the place. Joel approaches her cautiously, like he knows to when she’s more animal than woman, but it’s Ellie that goes straight up to her and hugs her around her waist without hesitating. Because she knows why. 

The book of pressed flowers Red had given her had journal entries that stopped right before the flowers began. The last entry had a date and the words “me, Harry, and Annie are going on a run tomorrow” in it and Ellie knows. 

Like a wounded animal, Red tried to hide her pain. The nightmares and the screams and the sounds in her head became too much and she had to get away. Sometimes all she could hear was her sister’s screams. But they dim in Ellie’s embrace and she lets herself come to the surface enough to hug her back and then lean into Joel when he joins them, kissing her head and holding them tightly. 

They'd always find her and protect her when she needed to shatter.

_________________________________________ Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111​ @hawsx3 @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover @emlovesya  @agent007knight @spaacerabbit @namgification @wonwoosthetic  @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8 @badwolf00593​ @themothersmercy @badwolf00593 @mxtokko @happinessinthebeing​ @taranicristeard  @aroacefanenby @barbellpedro  @maviee​ @sgt-morgan

[eryiss]

[Fraxus] Multifaceted - Part 5

Or: The 5 Times Laxus Learned of a New Skill Freed Possessed, & The 1 Time He Fell Victim To Them

Summary: For the rest of the world, it had been seven years. For the members of Fairy Tail it had all been in the blink of an eye. But, for Laxus, that was more than enough time for his closest friend to seem like an entirely new person. This self assured, competent Freed was something new to Laxus, and he found himself enjoying it. Perhaps a little too much… Note: Ohh, it’s time for emotions, backstory and flowers. Hope you enjoy it all. Links: Ao3, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

5: Floristry

"Hey, I got dinner- what the fuck?"

The apartment was filled with flowers. Every available surface had flowers over it, including a good amount of the floor, Laxus had to move around them, treading carefully not to crush any of them as he placed the takeout bag on the counter. After having to push a pile of roses to the side, of course.

Freed looked at him with a half amused, half exasperated expression. He was sitting at the table, where a selection of vases - some were filled, some not - were scattered. There were also ribbons, bows and translucent coloured plastic wraps.

"You gonna explain, or do we just live in bee paradise now?"

"That was almost funny, congratulation," Freed teased, and subsequently avoided the little bolt of lightning that flew his way. "Valentine's Day is approaching, and I'm sure Mirajane told you about her anonymous bouquet idea. Well, she's contracted an illness and apparently it falls to me to pick up the slack."

"Makes sense. Out of all the people in the guild, when I think of flowers you're the top of the list," Laxus frowned through the sarcasm. "Not any of the women who wanna have flowers, not the guy with plant magic, and not our actual teammate who had her own rose garden. No, I think of you."

"That's more or less what I said verbatim," Freed hummed. "Apparently I have an artistic and elegant soul, and that's more important than competence in the task."

Laxus wasn't going to deny that Freed's soul did seem elegant and artistic, but it wouldn't be in his best interesrts to agree with it either. He looked over the seemingly complete bouquets and hummed quietly. "They look pretty good for someone without any competence. You getting into it?"

"I like working with my hands, this is a form of that," Freed shrugged. "And I suppose it brings back memories of my father. He was a florist."

Laxus halted, and didn't turn to look at Freed no matter how much he wanted to. Freed's family had been one of the biggest question marks about him, nobody knew anything about them. Laxus hadn't known if Freed even knew them. "He was?"

"Yes, I used to work in his shop sometimes," Freed continued working, sliding a white tulip into a vase. "Not often, and not for pay of course; I was nine when he was killed. But he sometimes let me help get the flowers he wanted. It was probably to stop me from asking questions about what he was doing - I had no filter as a child, you see, and apparently could talk a mile a minute - but I enjoyed it all the same," he stopped moving, looking at a bare point on the table. "He was a good man, it's a shame I never got the chance to know him."

"I…" Laxus started to say, but didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

"Yes, well, things happen," Freed mused. "They couldn't find my mother after his death, which I suppose is the point of leaving a baby on a man's doorstep. I was made a ward of the state, flittered around orphanages until I was sixteen then joined the Rune Knights. That was bad, but short lived. Then, I found Fairy Tail, so I suppose it all ends well."

Laxus placed a hand on his shoulder, just for a moment. "You okay?"

"Yes. I suppose I'm just a little morose when I think of him, my apologies," Freed assured him. "Have you ever been given flowers, or sent them out?"

"No, to both," Laxus removed his hands, giving Freed a lingering look before walking back to the food. "The two times I've been with someone, I guess they didn't see me as the type of guy who needs to be treated like that. And I was always kinda weird about sending flowers, didn't wanna get it wrong. There's this language they have, right? Didn't wanna accidentally tell a guy I liked that I thought he had a small dick and didn't know how to use it, or something."

"Okay, which of those things do you want to discuss first? Because, as a language expert with a family heritage in flowers, I have opinions on the so-called language of flowers," Freed said, placing down his secateurs. "But I feel like we should focus on the fact you just, perhaps unintentionally, came out to me."

Fuck, he had, hadn't he? "Well, I know you're not a bigot, and I know you've fucked men so if you had problems with he liking guys then you'd be a hypocrite, so maybe we brush past it and you rant about flowers."

"Wonderful," Freed smiled. "The idea that flowers have language is absolutely absurd, and a way for disingenuous hacks to overcharge for their services."

Freed didn't stop his rant for the next ten minutes, and Laxus had to sit back and laugh when Freed began to explain the nature of the concept of language, and how character based information could not be passed with such a small pool of participants. When he picked up a potted sunflower, waved it in Laxus' face, and demanded what letter it was, Laxus let out an undignified snort of laughter that made his cheeks red.

Suitably kowtowed, Laxus got to work plating their dinner. Freed continued on with his work, snipping at plants and quietly humming as he did so. Laxus pulled out his music Lacrima and started to play the song Freed had been humming, catching the flash of a smile on Freed's face in the reflection of the window.

They ate together, and Freed didn't once stop working. Once Laxus' plate was emptied, he reached over for a note written in Mirajane's handwriting, quickly reading it over. He put it down and frowned.

"This has to be done by tomorrow morning?" He demanded. "Valentines is a week away."

"Apparently the surprise of them being gifted earlier will make it more romantic, and will give the recipients time to figure red out who they were from so they can do something on the day itself, should they wish to," Freed explained as he wrapped up another vase. "It's stressful, though I suppose I understand it."

"And Mira hadn't done any of them before she got sick."

"Well, she had," Freed looked slightly guilty. "I have higher standards than she."

"Of course you do," Laxus smiled to himself, then pulled an empty vase over to himself. "What do I need to do?"

"Oh you really don't need to-"

"Just fucking tell me."

Freed reached for a stack of small pink cards, rifled through them and handed one to Laxus. 'To Natsu, From Gray'. Laxus huffed; fucking finally one of them was going to make a move. It'd been fifteen years since their weird obsession had begun with each other, and it was starting to get on the guild's collective nerves.

"I thought you could fill it with any pale blue, white, silver and grey flowers you could find, and place a fire lilie in the centre," He motioned for the lilie as he mentioned it. "It's hardly subtle, but given how the two of them are, I think they can do with all the help they can get."

Laxus got to work, finding as many of the correctly colours flowers as he could and placing them in the vase. Quickly, he realised that he didn't know what he was doing, but he knew when he hadn't gotten it right. After blunt forcing his way through it, he eventually settled on an arrangement he was happy with, and carefully slid the lilie into the centre. It gave the composition a shot of colour that seemed to bring it to life, and Laxus found himself oddly proud of himself.

When he turned to ask Freed what he needed next, he found the other man looking at him almost softly. He squirmed slightly in his seat, frowned and asked a blunt, "What?"

"Nothing," Freed dismissed. "Just, I've enjoyed living with you. That's all."

"Yeah," Laxus nodded, taken aback by the confession. "Me too. Er, who's next."

"Well, we've got 'To Evergreen From Elfman', and 'To Elfman From Evergreen', so we could take one each," Freed suggested, and Laxus nodded.

They made somewhat quick work of the rest of the requests, with Freed taking point on themes, colours and arrangements, while Laxus did as he was told. The music playing through the Lacrima gave a gentle, soft feeling to the proceedings as, one by one, the vases were filled and wrapped. The surfaces became bare of their flowers and Laxus got to tidying up.

It was near midnight by the time the apartment was back to it's normal, crappy yet useable state. The smell of the flowers were pleasant enough, and almost made it feel homely. Or maybe that was Freed. Pretty much every good thing in this place had come Freed…

"Laxus," Freed cut through his thoughts. Laxus turned to him, to find a single yellow rose being offered to him. "Since apparently we're being vulnerable today, you should have this."

"What?" Laxus asked, looking down at the rose. He tentatively took it, and he knew his cheeks were exploding with red.

"Just, I want you to know that, despite what your past partners might have made you feel, you are fully deserving of getting flowers," He looked away, then smiled. "Goodnight, Laxus."

He retreated to the bedroom, shut the door and left Laxus alone with the most beautiful flower he had ever seen. He twirled it around, running his fingers up and down the rough and spiky stem. He then looked around the apartment. It should be a tiny, crappy, hell hole. That was how he saw it when they first moved in. They only had one bed, and barely enough space for a damn armchair. It was a horrid little place, and yet Laxus had only fond memories for it,

Freed had done that. Freed, and his cooking. Freed, and the shelf he'd made that housed all the little crochet dolls he crafted. Freed, and his fluid movements he performed when he thought Laxus wasn't looking. Freed, and his flowers. Freed, and his openness and his life and his damn smile.

It happened before he could stop it. This hadn't happened for years. Not when he had been kicked from the guild. Not when they'd welcomed him home. Not when he had accepted his death on the island.

Laxus sobbed.

A throaty, quiet cry, devoid of reason, split through him.

The tears started to fall before he could stop them.

He couldn't stop them, nor explain them, but he felt them in his soul.

He felt Freed in his soul.

[chipthekeeper]

Ranking Velcinta moments by how insane they make me feel, a(n overly) comprehensive list

As promised, here's my way too detailed ranking of all 18-ish of their moments. This (predictably) got obnoxiously long toward the end, so venture under the cut if you actually care and/or don't mind a lot of scrolling.

18. Valley One (Ep. 6)

I'm relatively sane about this. Except when I think about how they probably slept in that little hut the night before. Also when I think about how this is one of the very few shots in which they're both visible and (relatively) in focus.

17. "No farewells tonight." (Ep. 5)

Mostly was insane about this when the episode first came out and I was SO. FUCKING. WORRIED. that they were gonna die in the next one.

16. "What are they doing?" (Ep. 5)

Girlfriends who scowl together stay together (please Tony Gilroy I'm begging you).

15. Feeding the dray (Ep. 5)

The fact that Cinta is smiling here is what makes me most crazy. Also I just adore this flash of simple domesticity with them. Ahh, what could have been....

14. "Have you heard from Cinta?" (Ep. 7)

Vel not being able to look Kleya in the eye when she asks about Cinta makes me crazy mostly for the whole "Vel/Kleya exes" plot but of course this whole part had me jumping out of my seat on first watch.

13. "The rebellion comes first. We take what's left." (Ep. 9)

VEL FINDING STRENGTH IN CINTA'S WORDS AND USING THEM TO HELP MON WITH HER DOUBTS TOO I'M !!!!!

(went all-caps way before I thought I would, maybe this one should be higher....)

12. Into the smoke (Ep. 12)

She looks so worried when Cinta isn't where she's supposed to be and then she sprints INTO the melee while everyone else is running AWAY. I'M NOT FINE!!!!

11. At the campfire (Ep. 4)

I swear to y'all that the first time I watched this episode and saw them sitting so close I was like "oh. hey" fully intending to ship them even if that was literally all we got. And then holy fucking shit we got everything I was too afraid to ask for. So this moment always has a special place in my heart.

10. "What's she doing?" (Ep. 4)

It. Makes. Me. CRAZY. That the first time they share a scene together, they're literally always in the same frame.

CRAZY.

Like....they've been connected from the VERY beginning, even if the show revealed them being together rather slowly. Also it's everything to me that the first time we see Cinta it's Taramyn asking her what Vel is up to bringing a new guy in. Because if anyone would know, it would be her.

9. "Stay focused, Clem." (Ep. 5)

All of the territorial Vel stuff is great to me but I especially love this moment. First of all Cinta's little smirk. And also it's just so....idk it's a quiet moment of contemplation and probably anxiety but we can't not take a second to tell Clem to back off.

I'm combining this with the "you can dress yourself" bit too because that moment just makes me laugh with how Vel's always in the background watching and then immediately jumps up to give Clem the business and use his scuffle with Skeen as an excuse to mark her territory.

8. "Closet?" "Empty." (Ep. 12)

That bit of dialogue made my gay little self so happy and then they went and did the whole "that's blood" "it's not mine" thing and I'll never recover. Vel being so concerned that she won't even let Cinta keep packing, but then at the very end she's a little impressed/turned on??? 10/10 no notes. (okay I have one note and that's "you're really just going to leave me hanging like that for two years?????" but that's a different post)

7. "Get down!" (Ep. 6)

Truly one of my favorite scenes in the whole show is when Vel almost loses her shit at the top of the dam. The tension is insane, her fear is PALPABLE, and I absolutely love that it's Cinta just calling her out for stalling and then yelling at her that breaks her out of it.

But the thing that makes me feel most crazy about this scene is this:

Someone please explain to me WHY Cinta makes the jump while looking directly at Vel. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Or else I will just continue to believe it's because part of her is scared up there too and looking at Vel is what helps her take the leap. That is a crazy thought -- I'm pretty sure she's fine -- but if it's not that then I don't get why she's even facing that way??

6. This (Ep. 8)

THE MUSIC. THE FADE. THE SORROW. I like literally can't even talk about this one. But it does make me feel a lot how obvious it is that Vel's thoughts are soooooooooo far from the fight here:

While at the same time there's not a thought in Cinta's head about her:

Breaks my fucking heart.

5. "No. She didn't tell me." (Ep. 5)

Whew. This moment. For a while I was mostly happy about this moment because it was just one more piece of evidence that they were together before that was fully confirmed.

But then my headcanon brain took over while I was writing my multichapter fic and it has been fucking me up ever since. Because I'm always going to wonder if all their drama was always going to happen the way it did or if Vel betraying Cinta's trust as a partner was some kind of breaking point.

Is that probably just me? Yes. Does it matter? Not to this ranking.

4. "She's already sharin' a blanket if that's what you're wonderin'." (Ep. 5)

I was!!! I was wonderin'!!!!! And I will forever use this phrase as a euphemism for being a lesbian.

What I would not give........to experience this line and this shot for the first time again. Or at least know what I sounded like giving a joyous shout.

3. "Tell me you'll be alright." (Ep. 6)

This is the one that I would probably sound the most insane trying to talk about out loud. It would be a lot of me like verbally keysmashing and somehow going "!!!!!!" out loud.

The hand-hold that saved my life? The EMOTION in their eyes when they look at each other??? Vel starting to go in for the goodbye kiss right in front of the hostages' salad but then just not????????

Fuck.

FUCK!!!!!!!

2. "Come away from the window." (Ep. 12)

I have to start by talking about Vel's cute little sad grin in this scene when she's like "nice to see you too" and Cinta like glares back at her. That made me feel crazy enough but then this whole scene that I want to say I can't even put into words even though I have in fact already done it.

The desperation on Vel's part is what kills me. Not that she's desperate for attention or love or whatever people always try to pin on her here (and of course it is that to some degree) but that she's desperate to keep Cinta from losing herself. She's so desperate but all she can do is ask. All she can do is hope Cinta will turn around and take a break. And she does.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS AFTER THAT TONY GILROY?!

I have never screamed so loud about a scene just ending.

Whatever, it gave me something to write and I enjoyed doing that.

1. "You love me because I show you what you need to see." (Ep. 8)

And here we are. The scene that has taken up space in my brain more than any other single thing since I saw it. I've been over it so many times. Watching and taking notes, staring at the gifs, studying the screencaps, trying to wrap my head around every little line and gesture and movement and emotion. I've spent hours on it, and I still find myself coming back to think about it and wondering if I've truly understood it all.

Just getting them reunited after Aldhani was such a relief (even though it was jarring at first to just see Cinta and be like "how the fuck did you get here?"). But then the conversation just knocked me on my ass.

"Haven't we been apart long enough?" YES YOU HAVE!!

"We take what's left." NOOOO TAKE IT ALL

"That's cold...even for you." Stabbing me in the face would be less painful.

And then...hearing the words "you love me" from one woman to another woman in a Star Wars show....not a book, not a comic...a show. Truly meant everything to me. I was so fucking happy to hear those words that I couldn't even process how goddamn sad the rest of it was until later. Once I did I had a stomachache for an entire week. I have one again right now.

And then it ends with the most fucking beautiful hand-hold and yet another tiny look that makes me feel crazy in and of itself (which I've done a whole post on by itself), and despite my broken heart I have hope.

If I am ever able to watch this scene and not feel seventeen emotions at once, it's over for me.

Easy number one.