#this whole season was about choice but also helplessness??

[emmettspeakz]

poor janai and amaya though. ugh the betrayal, fucking miyana and karim!!! imagine finding out your wife is alive, just to be betrayed by your brother, his wife, and have terrible nightmares about something you're not even sure how to prevent??

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Relistening to Checking Out, and I’ve always liked this scene in particular, as it is one that’s very open to interpretation.

I believe, from what I’ve seen personally at least, one or the most common interpretations is that Helen’s observation is either incorrect, or intentionally misleading, and that Jon’s response actually stems from touch aversion, or a degree of it, attributed to his trauma, particularly moments where he’s been left helpless and at the whims of others. E.g. Kidnapped by the Circus, almost killed by Daisy etc. And while I think this interpretation is both interesting and plausible, I don’t think I’ve seen much for the opposite interpretation, which is that Helen’s observation is correct.

It can be difficult to talk about Jon’s humanity sometimes, as there’s a lot of nuance and layers to cover. The fact is, Jon, especially in season five, does not completely think like a human. He is simultaneously a painfully human character such with deep compassion and guilt and self-loathing, while also being a being of immense knowledge who sees and understands the world in a different light, and in a way no one else can possibly comprehend, which has to be very isolating all things considered.

As with everything in TMA, Jon makes a choice, and his choice is to end the apocalypse, to stay with Martin, and to stay as human as he possibly can. We know from Annabelle that had she have taken Martin, who is presumably acting as one of his main anchors to humanity, Jon potentially would have snapped completely, the final push over the edge as she puts it. It has to be a difficult thing for him, to try and balance his existence when he is so fundamentally changed, and when this world naturally feels right to him, and you could argue that him snapping at the mother here is simply his instinct, being what he is.

He is The Archivist, the meant-to-be Pupil of the Eye, one of the most important beings present, and so it makes sense there’s almost an instinctive detachment from the victims. He is meant to Watch them, and Watching means no physical interaction. By touching him, the mother has broken this barrier, and so, instinctually, he reacts — with anger, notably.

I’d say it’s meant to contrast how we see him acting prior to the touch, where he seems genuinely sympathetic with the mother, and he is trying to help in what little way he can. Because before she touches him, that gap between Watched and Watcher is still firm in place, and so he can handle that.

Bearing in mind, I haven’t re-listened to the rest of season five with this, so I may have missed something.

I also think both interpretations can co-exist too, and that could be just as interesting to explore. Either way, I find that, with Jon, it’s important to consider his status in the Eyepocalypse and his nature vs his choices, although, his nature vs his choices goes for the whole series I think, as choice is such a consistent theme in TMA and in the Avatars.

[starbylers]

After spending some time listening and re-listening and thinking a lot, I think I finally have my head wrapped around all these songs. This post is an exploration of what they could tell us about Mike’s story, and also a sort of theory I noticed once I saw the full picture. This playlist is—in my opinion—the story we’ve been theorising for the past two years reflected in 12 songs. That might sound hyperbolic but it’s simply what I heard and interpreted, and wanted to share because I enjoyed writing it. I hope this is an interesting read!

If you didn’t see my last post about why I do believe this is Finn’s Mike/ST playlist despite the somewhat ambiguous title you can read that here. It’s totally okay if you disagree but I’m not interested in debating it, and this analysis is coming from a perspective of assuming we've guessed correctly that the playlist relates to ST (obviously we can't 1000% verify that, but for the purposes of this post that’s my stance).

I’m going to focus on themes and overall meanings in the songs because in my opinion that’s where any connections are going to lie, rather than specific lines holding anything important (aside from a few which I’ll highlight) because I feel like that’s closest to how Finn would’ve thought while making it. Basically a macro level representation of Mike and what he goes through next season, something that would help a person get into the headspace of a character. Oh and my larger point is about the playlist as a whole, which will come together at the end :)

➠ Track 1 | Ballad of the Texas King

The first song is an anomaly in that I think it’s meant to set the tone more than anything else. These explain better than I could hope to:

"Itʼs a murder ballad, and as is common in murder ballads, deals with promise and innocence being snuffed out.” [link]

"Clarke sings of a chance encounter with an ominous figure that feels akin to selling your soul at the crossroads" [link]

Hey kid come along, something is wrong, I believe you now / All this to say only one way that this can go / Come with us for a ride / Don’t it feel like hell? Boy let me tell you, that’s where you are

• • •

A nice little coincidence, Finn himself is quoted as saying season 5 is a “crossroads”. I can see this song being an allusion to inevitable big choices with life-altering consequences next season, and also more mature themes being tackled within Mike’s story. I mean he’s stepping back into his role as leader, and now they’re older that will come with a lot more weight and responsibility in situations where the fate of the world is likely hanging in the balance. Not to mention how his personal struggles will be tied up in that, it’s probable that a slightly darker, more self-reflective—and transformative—tone is waiting for us in regards to season 5 Mike.

➠ Track 2 | What You're Doing

A simple song about a turbulent relationship where one person is unhappy because their partner is messing them around, and they're pleading with them to stop.

Look what you’re doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely / You got me running and there's no fun in it / Please stop your lying, you've got me crying, girl

The partner is the one holding control in the situation, while they feel at the mercy of their partner’s careless choices. The mood here is one of helplessness and desperation while still remaining open-hearted, hoping they’ll change.

I've been waiting here for you wondering what you're gonna do / If you should need a love that's true it’s me / Why should it be so much to ask of you what you're doing to me?

• • •

This is heavily M!Ieven coded. What do we know about their dynamic? Mike is always the one chasing El (trying to “win her back” in s3, terrified of her not needing him in s4, stressing about her being in danger all the time). El is consistently seeking autonomy (choosing to learn about her identity over pursuing romance with him in s2, choosing to break up with him in s3, choosing to leave him behind in s4, and I’m willing to bet she’s the one who removes herself from his storyline in s5). We know their separation will happen early season, and naturally things between them must be unstable leading up to this. El being the one to pull away while Mike stresses over it checks out considering these past patterns, and also the end of s4 with her already closing herself off while Mike appears at a loss.

➠ Track 3 | After The Earthquake

A song reminiscing on a relationship and the failure and death of it, with a sense of lingering nostalgia and unwillingness to let it go. It’s set to the backdrop of a metaphorical car crash.

It wasn't built to last / If you wake up you’ll remember the awful things I said / Looking back to the vibrant days / Those days I'd never let you fall apart but things fade / Why would I ever fall in love again when every detail’s over the guard rail? / Velvet curtains drawn, flowers at your feet / Say you’ll climb your way out of your wake now / Are you awake now?

• • •

In simpler terms…this is a break up song. The longing tone makes sense to me for M!Ieven because I’ve long suspected the initial split between them is not going to be super clean cut (this should make more sense later). Mike and El were together for a long time for their age, and have a lot of intense shared memories. El was also his first and only experience of relationships; it’s going to be difficult to detach. It being the right decision to end something doesn’t mean it’s easy or simple. Even if Mike is gay and didn’t truly like her romantically, he still loved her and in my opinion that distinction isn’t something he’s going to have figured out and made peace with the second it ends.

➠ Track 4 | Promises I've Made

Very straightforward and repetitive, and follows on seamlessly from the last song: this is about having trouble moving on from someone who’s left your life.

Ever since you have gone the days don't seem so bright and I wish I could forget you but I can’t / I have promised myself I wouldn't dream of you but I find that awful hard sometimes to do

• • •

Based on what I’ve seen people might fight me on this, but to me it’s M!Ieven coded mainly because of its positioning in the playlist (directly after a struggling relationship song + break up song) but also because it is technically about an ex love. Could we say it doesn’t need to be interpreted that specifically? Yes. I suppose it could be Byler coded too but personally...the way I would interpret it is as Mike moping over whatever happened with El. There’s not any intense emotional pining going on; if you listen it has a very laid back, chill sort of mood and is honestly very upbeat. There’s no deep heartbreak. It’s just about missing someone. Plus it sort of perfectly closes out the process we see over the last two songs of being unhappy with someone, to breaking up and grieving, to the typical post-break up struggle of navigating this hole in your life and naturally missing what once filled it. This is a whole sub-arc for Mike.

➠ Track 5 | Angst In My Pants

We’ve reached the gay section! This song is about trying to fit yourself into an acceptable—aspirational, even—life but never feeling content, and continuously trying to squash this troubling Feeling, the titular phrase: angst in (your) pants. Some people think it’s a reference to literal physical arousal but others including me think that in context it’s intended more as a metaphor for sexual frustration/dissatisfaction.

I hope it doesn't show, it'll go away / It's just a passing phase / When you’re all alone, you and your head / When you think you’ve made it disappear it comes again, hello, I’m here and I’ve got angst in my pants

The queer subtext here is very clear, I don’t think I even have to explain (check out the cover art too lol). The song closes with a realisation/acceptance that no, this “phase” won't ever go away i.e. it’s just who you are.

Give it a hundred years, it won't go away

I also thought one of the opening verse lines was an interesting segue from the last few songs:

But when you’re all alone and nothing bites you’d wish you stayed at home with someone nice

• • •

Angst In My Pants may aswell be titled Forced Conformity the thematic parallels to ST are that blatant. Another point for team Mike Wheeler actually is connected to the main themes of the show like all his other friends, and no it’s not because he’s somehow oppressed for being a nerd. Also rather than being about feelings for another person the song is about personal struggle with sexuality which excites me to think about in relation to Mike because we’ve been saying he needs to explore his own identity outside of being a love interest.

➠ Track 6 | The Better Side

A very sweet, slow, slightly melancholy song. I’ll be honest I cannot decipher more than 2/3 of the lyrics but here are the most meaningful ones of those I could:

I know you cry and I’m trying to keep you by my warmth

You’re never gonna see my eyes, you’re coloring all the skies you want to / I tried staying alive, keep my head on the better side when you’re far away

You’re on the better side you’re always the better one for me

You’re all that I need, I’m not gonna miss you anymore

My understanding is it’s about pining over someone who is a “better” choice, whatever that means in this context. Deciding you want someone, someone who you don’t currently have, someone who is maybe distracted, distant or physically absent? But vowing to change that because you recognise that you need them.

• • •

This directly follows the Gay Thoughts song, and precedes the Gay Thoughts song 2.0 so I feel safe interpreting it as Byler coded and about how it’s Mike’s turn to pine. (Also because “better” implies that there’s a “worse” i.e. this is a situation where you’re differentiating between two things i.e. in Mike’s case, Will vs El). I can envision Mike and Will getting moments together away from whatever chaos is surely going on, having the space to connect more where Mike starts becoming conscious of his feelings, realising slowly that Will is the “better” one for him. And as the song also suggests, perhaps Will has pulled away from him in the beginning. I think this is possible because the torment Will's likely going to endure from Vecna could understandably cause him to push Mike away, fearing his safety or him finding out how Will feels, and also I just don’t think he’ll be able to stand the pain of being M!Ieven’s couple’s counsellor for much longer without cracking. But I think Mike “it’ll be easier if we’re a team” Wheeler would make it his mission to fix any rift between them, the final line literally being I’m not gonna miss you anymore.

➠ Track 7 | Don't Ask Me To Explain

As far as I can tell, this song is about being afraid to face queer feelings for another person who is also hiding this about themselves, and being conflicted about whether to confess because you're not sure how they feel.

How will I ever know you enough to love you if you're hiding who you are? / How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know? / Don’t move on without me, who will be watching my body when I sleep? / I don't want to be the one who's coming out first, I'd really like to but I'm just too shy

The end is an admission of…something. I’m not sure whether to interpret it as wishful thinking over this queer relationship you believe you can’t have, or as an offhand comment about forcing yourself to love someone you can’t because of your sexuality. Interesting either way:

It’s so easy to lie to myself and pretend that I could love you but I can't

I did do some research and the alleged true explanation of this song is it’s from one queer friend to another (man to woman, I assume both closeted, maybe a failed romance?) but I could only find one uncited source for that and everywhere else seems to agree with my interpretation so it seems when listening to the song that’s the story people hear. (Plus either way the song is about being queer. Undeniably so).

• • •

It’s not Byler coded we’re way past that, it literally just…is them. It does seem to suggest a level of internal conflict in Mike regarding coming out that I can’t say I expected (yes I have no doubts about canon Byler but I’m also a pessimist by nature—that should tell you how obvious their endgame is though lmao—so I assumed the Duffers would go wrong somewhere). I always thought he would be almost consciously clueless about himself until he finds out Will loves him, and the focus be more on him liking Will back rather than him liking boys (and obviously wasn’t a fan of that), but the prospect of Mike actually being aware and grappling with his sexuality is what we’ve been praying for and builds on the more low-level thrum of sexual confusion in Angst In My Pants. Oh and the song also could suggest Mike suspecting that Will likes him/is queer too before anyone confesses.

➠ Track 8 | What Do You Want Me To Do?

Another straightforward one. It’s quite angsty, a big contrast to the more sad feelings about a relationship from the earlier songs. This is about someone who left you for someone else/someone who walked out on you, who decides they want you back.

You walked out took your chance, turned your back on our romance / You said the change would do you good / But then the bubble burst your dream, turned into a nightmare scream / You came crawling to me your knees, and you were asking me to love you please

The main message of the repetitive chorus is basically: you want me to need you, but that’s not real love. You’re just using me to feel better about yourself.

What do you want me to do? Say that I need you more? Is that what real lovers do? Or only what you use me for?

• • •

I mean isn’t that last part how we’ve always described M!Ieven’s dynamic—all about aligning with the other’s needs whether for safety, validation or feeling ‘normal’, rather than genuine romance? I don’t think there’s any chance at all of El leaving Mike for someone else lol, as I said I don’t think we need to interpret these songs super specifically. But it does make me wonder: could we possibly see a moment of regression for El at some point in the season, after they separate? The focus here in my opinion is frustration at someone trying to re-enter your life when you know they don’t truly love you. Reflecting on their dynamic I talked about with earlier songs and their history in the show (El walking away, Mike scared to lose her), is it possible the break up could leave Mike struggling initially then he progressively understands why it was the right choice (especially after spending time with Will), meanwhile for El it’s the opposite—she’s more sure about breaking up but something happens later on that shakes her belief in herself. Her having one last hurdle to overcome in her dependency on Mike to finally break that pattern of hindering her growth by retreating to him could make sense. And based on this song…Mike would not be receptive to being El’s safety net. Growth for both of them.

➠ Track 9 | Substitute

Again, very angsty compared to earlier. It’s about a relationship characterised by false perceptions (focused on class), and those being what is holding it together. One partner is pretending to be something they’re not, cosplaying as someone else, and the other is also being dishonest/fake.

You think we look really good together / My fine looking suit is really made out of sack / The simple things you see are all complicated / Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac

The relationship breaks down because of this and their partner doesn’t truly want to fix things, and ultimately trades up.

Those crocodile tears are what you cry / It’s a genuine problem, you won’t try to work it out at all, you just pass it by / Substitute me for him / Substitute my coke for gin

Essentially: your partner not knowing the real you because you’re putting on a facade—the facade being the version of you they really like, the thing that was making you compatible—leads the relationship to fail. The literal title suggests neither of them as they are are what the other truly wants or needs.

• • •

Obviously this does not directly parallel M!leven in terms of the topic of the lying but in terms of the themes and core relationship issues…yeah. To me this could be about point Mike has reached after gradually coming to realisations about the nature of their relationship after it’s over, like I mentioned before. I can envision a mid-late season confrontation (or something less aggressive sounding lol) between them, pairing perfectly with the topic of the previous song. El scared trying to fall back on Mike and he’s like…no, we don’t work, I can’t be that for you anymore and this is why: betraying who he is (nerd) to impress her, trying so hard to play the “boyfriend” role (yet they never successfully emotionally connect), if he’s gay then there’s also the facade of straightness, etc. I think it would show a lot of emotional maturity from him honestly, and I really need him to have a strong grasp on what went wrong with El for them to have a shot at forming a healthy friendship, and also to psychologically process all that stuff before getting involved with Will.

➠ Track 10 | The Rebel Kind

A short song about life being tough when you don’t have much (this one is class-focused too), but still craving the freedom that comes from not following societal rules and pressures for how to do life “right”, and instead living on your own terms. Basically the struggle is worth not having to conform. The first verse sums it up pretty well:

They call us the rebel kind but they don’t understand the things a man must do to prove that he’s a man / It’s not easy but I don’t mind, I just wanna run with the rebel kind

• • •

Again, obviously the specific topic is not relevant to ST but the thematic parallels blew my mind, I mean the entire show is about people being outcasts and learning to find strength in that, and the final season is going to majorly drive that point. We know this from the fact that Will “being different” Byers is the one who’s arc is said to tie up the whole show. Now in regards to Mike…if this doesn’t scream forced conformity and deciding to reject it for your own happiness I don’t know what does. It perfectly captures the thematic end point of his arc next season (and not just his but probably the entire party’s in one way or another). Also the toxic masculinity reference in that one line applies heavily to Mike with his history of trying so hard to do what he thinks he supposed to do in going from boy to man i.e. We’re not kids anymore. Did you think we were never gonna get girlfriends?

➠ Track 11 | Block Rockin’ Beats

Another one I think is mainly to set a tone; no real lyrics just beats. In my opinion it comes after The Rebel Kind for a reason. Somehow it just makes sense, it’s got this really loud, frenzied, unrestrained energy to it.

➠ Track 12 | Just What I Needed

We end off with a love (or desire?) song. It’s interesting because it’s quite aggressive sonically but at the same time it talks about being with someone in a simple uncomplicated way:

I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time / I don’t mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep

…but it’s also very intense how you feel with them.

Cause when you’re standing oh so near I kinda lose my mind

There’s a repeated line that stuck in my head. It’s obviously written about a female subject, but there is such a rejection of the feminine going on:

It’s not the perfume that you wear, it’s not the ribbons in your hair

It’s saying those feminine attributes are not why this person is attractive—and yeah logically that means the subject must have those things, but as I’ve said I don’t think these songs need to be interpreted on such a specific level. The point being made is about a deeper connection. The line is just intriguing to me from the perspective of Mike being into boys, I mean he could’ve picked literally any other romance song.

I needed someone to feed / I needed someone to bleed / I guess you’re just what I needed

The message here is basically: I was craving the rawest form of connection/intimacy with another human being (that doesn’t have to necessarily mean sexual it’s just those visceral words feed, bleed in comparison to perfume and ribbons which sound very fluffy lol)…and now I’ve found you and it’s exactly what I was looking for.

• • •

With all the themes through the songs of rejecting fake relationships and conformity, and accepting and exploring queerness…Will Byers is obviously going to be the thing Mike needed. I’ve been saying (and so have many) but Byler isn’t happening till the end. Also the playlist finishing with this song is telling in my opinion. Aside from the Castle Byers Classics link, the title itself implies searching for something which is now found, a journey being over. I say this for the purposes of pushing my agenda about this playlist painting a narrative. Hear me out:

Personally……that’s not accidental. It just isn’t. Even if my more specific interpretations aren’t correct, I just cannot believe that this wasn’t curated to draw a particular picture. I believe in coincidences and if the playlist had been titled as it was with a bunch of random unconnected irrelevant songs I’d be the first person to file it under that. But the title and the inclusion of a song from Will’s official playlist and these specific songs in this specific order? Yeah it’s about s5 Mike and I cannot wait to see him! If you made it this far thanks for reading <3

[ladyloveandjustice]

To give my Real Opinion on the whole Clark vs Lois issue (since people are giving me theirs), I'm surprised it is an issue, since it's very clearly supposed to be an conflict where both people made decisions that made sense from their point of view but still hurt each other. It makes sense that Clark would be insecure about telling Lois this when she's acting distrustful of Superman, and it makes sense he'd freak out and not handle a situation where she was putting a lot of pressure on him well. It also makes sense that Lois would be angry (and probably humiliated) and upset that Clark not only lied to her face when she was begging him to tell her the truth, but left her where she couldn't help him when she was worried sick about him.

Honestly, I think a lot of you aren't being honest about how you'd feel if you had a friend who disappeared every time something dangerous happened, you spent a lot of time frantically searching and worrying about that friend each time, only to find out oh hey, your friend was well aware of how worried you were and was actually right there but they were pretending to be someone else instead of letting you in on what was happening. You'd feel played with.

And Clark also KEPT lying when she was basically saying "hey stop lying to me. I know." He did it instinctively. She was begging him to tell her, and he didn't. That's going to hurt, and that's going to be galling. She definitely felt she had no other choice than to do something drastic, because she can't enter a relationship with someone she knows is lying to her and here he is, refusing to come clean. She's a reporter, the need to know drives her.

"Lois isn't entitled to Clark's private information, they haven't known each other that long", sure, but Clark vanishes in dangerous situations and causes real distress, Clark has been discussing Superman with Lois and unconsciously trying to manipulate her feelings on him while not telling her the whole truth, and you'd feel weird if someone did that, you'd feel kinda violated! And even if someone told you they weren't doing that to laugh at you, wouldn't you be hurt and humiliated?!

When exactly IS Lois entitled to Clark's info? When they start dating? How many months is it okay for him to date her without him telling her he's actually the guy she spends every waking minute trying to interview? Would he have told her as their relationship got serious? Not knowing that is probably scary and if I was Lois I'd think twice about if I wanted this either!

And what's especially scary is that yeah, he did leave her behind to so he could possibly go get killed when she was begging him not to. That's terrifying. She was probably terrified the entire time she waited. He was able to take her choice away from her, and Lois does not like feeling helpless. Clark was scared of her getting hurt, so he enforced his will and so shewas scared for HIM. and then he refused to talk about those worries!

It's also pretty galling when she's already helped him out in several fights- she's proven she can be useful and helpful! I'd be mad too! I'm sure there was a little vindictiveness in her actions- you see how you like it when someone takes your choice away too.

At the same time, Clark is clearly not comfortable showing people his whole self. He still doesn't know who he is, and he goes into panic mode about it. He's very scared of people being hurt because of him. What he did made sense from his point of view. And I'm sure he's not happy to be forced to reveal his secret.

It doesn't matter 'who's more right'. It's not a game they get to win! They both violated each other's boundaries. Their feelings both make sense from their perspective, and interesting conflicts are complicated. And I like it when characters don't just react to everything flawlessly. There's a lot of drama in secret identities, and sometimes stories have conflict.

I do agree this should have happened later in the season or as a season 2 thing, but that's sadly just life in this streaming hell era. They didn't know if they'd get a season 2 to tell the story they wanted. We have to take the conflict as it is. And let's face it, if Lois had taken longer to figure out, y'all would be making fun of her for being dumb. Lois is for some reason always the butt of that joke even though nobody else can see Clark is Superman either- and when she does figure it out (as she usually does!) and has anything other than positive feelings about it she still gets blamed. Just enjoy having a character who can have complex feelings.

If you hate relationship conflict, there's stuff for you out there! Read Superman Family Adventures by Art Baltazar, it's very cute low stakes low conflict stuff and has an actual Himbo Clark.

[incesthemes]

this is the exact halfway point in 1.20 dead man's blood. it's also the first time we see dean stand up to john in any capacity. from here on, too, dean continues to hold his ground against his dad, and his defiance grows more confident and definitive.

the first half of this episode therefore represents the "status quo" of their family dynamic: sam is angry and defiant, dean is blindly loyal, and john is domineering. we get a sense of what life was like for them before the series began and how the family functioned. the second half, then, represents sam and dean's development. sam and dean are working more as a unit, and they demand to be treated as equals not only among each other but to their father as well. this half shows sam seeming to get meeker in a way now that dean is defending him (sam deflates falls back into a comfortable routine with john, his yessirs a vast contrast to dean calling him out and an even vaster contrast to his own shouting matches with john in the first half of the episode)—this is the dynamic they're working toward and have been working toward this whole season.

but this halfway point is so cool. because right after this moment, dean is left helplessly torn between two options:

sam gets in the impala, and john gets in his truck. the two vehicles become physical manifestations of the choice dean now has to make: john or sam? status quo or development?

he gets in the impala. he chooses sam.

but the cool thing about it is that the impala is dean's car. of course he was going to get in his own car. it's a no-brainer. but at the same time, this doesn't stop the impala from representing sam in this moment. what this means, then, is that dean never had a choice in the matter: he was always going to choose sam.

dean lacks narrative agency for the majority of season 1. he constantly defers to sam's decisions, and even when he does make decisions that would lead to significant development for himself (see 1.11 scarecrow, where he chooses to let sam have his independence instead of clinging onto him, signifying a massive step forward for his own sense of self and independence), sam inevitably shapes the outcome of those decisions, leaving dean in a position where he isn't actually choosing things for himself (and sam returns at the end of the episode, preventing the possibility of his growth and keeping him defined by his place in his family).

this moment in dead man's blood is symbolic of that lack of agency. dean is tied to his brother, doomed to choose him because it's the only real option presented to him. this isn't to say that's a bad thing by any means obviously, just that it's an interesting setup for his narrative arc. dean is set to spiral straight into sam's orbit, helpless to stop it or escape, and frankly he doesn't want to, either. sam is the center of his universe, after all, and choosing sam was what he was raised to do. sam is his everything—including the master of his story.

so when dean chooses sam and gets into the impala, there was never any other option for him. dean was always going to choose his brother, was always going to stand up to john and defend sam and himself, was always going to get into his own car. unlike sam, whose season 1 conflict is between his fate and his family, dean's fate in many ways is his family, and he has nothing to convince him off that path (indeed, the one time he does falter in this during season 1 is because he's again deferring to sam's decision to leave him).

and the best part about all of the whole metaphor, to me, is this:

sam is the one driving the car.

[ca-suffit]

Hi. I love your blog. Good conversations are happening here and I love reading through them all. I have a question re: the depiction of Louis as a woman in what I don't believe to be AU scenarios. Forgive me if my vocab is a bit stilted, English isn't my first language.

I'm a cis, pan, black, female who came into the fandom a bit late. Due to my religious background I haven't been in a lot of queer spaces, online or irl. I've been interacting with the IWTV fandom here, on Twitter and AO3, which has been enlightening. There's a lot of Louis MTF characterization (?), and like the other anon said, most of it is very positive and fun. But, and this may be my ignorance speaking, there's a racial/colourist element in casting Louis as a woman that I think many overlook.

Within the show's universe, Louis took on the more feminine role, particularly in his relationship with Lestat. So when some Twitter user drew Louis as a darkskin man with a very blond Lestat straddling him a la Santiago and Eglee, many accurately argued that drawing him as a hypermasculine black man was very racist. But I haven't seen people mention that despite Louis taking the more feminine (read nurturing) role in Season 1, esp wrt to Claudia, he isn't feminine? Yes, some of his masculinity was a performance (aside from the way that most gender roles are a performance), but Louis is still a masculine man. His masculinity is softer in appearance than maybe most people's in his world, including Lestat's who had no problem dressing up as a woman, but it's still there. In a MTF fanfic I understand making Louis a woman, but in analyzing his characterization in a heteropatriarchal setting Louis is no less a man than Lestat.

My issue is Louis is a very lightskinned black man. Such men are typically not regarded as masculine in the black community, especially if they're homosexual. It's the other side of the coin of darkskin women being denied femininity. So while casting him as a woman in an AU is fine, I find serious analysis of the show that depicts him as a helpless maiden without agency in the face of stronger men and a misogynistic society very wanting. Because aside from being colourist, it also sort of absolves Louis of the harm he inflicts on the women he pimped out, Claudia, and yes, even his companions. It makes it seem like he was only given bad options and he had no choice but to pick the ones he could live with.

And this happens a lot. Anyone who loves Louis more than Lestat and Armand always sees him as a victim. Maybe this is in reaction to the Lestat-centred side of the fandom that always points out everything Louis does wrong. But since I'm not on that side of the fandom, most of the takes I see are in defense of Louis' victimhood as a weaker/feminine man/woman.

Idk if this makes sense at all. Don't post it if it doesn't. I hope it doesn't cause offense to anyone because it's not meant in that way at all. I think maybe there's something I'm missing about how the black/POC/Louis-loving side of the fandom views him, so if anyone who understands things better than I do can tell me what I'm not getting I'll be very grateful.

Thanks for all you do.

hi and thank u!<3

I think there's definitely a lot to talk about here. There's a lot I've observed of the fandom changing over time as the show has aired, bcuz none of this stuff was rly happening with the character of louis until the show aired. I don't have solid thoughts on this all yet, this has me thinking about a lot of things at once and I gotta organize it all. so otherwise I'd like to turn this over to the fandom as a whole to give feedback on for rn.

[legoangstissogay]

Chat- CHAT THE MK BRAIN ROT IS HERE

Anyway here's my 1600+ word essay on why MK from Lego Monkie Kid is peak writing.

Mk from Lego Monkie Kid is one of if not the pinnacle of dynamic and well-expressed characters in children's media that carry with them heavy topics themes and morals. While some could argue that Bluey does this as well it doesn't go as in-depth due to it being for younger audiences. On the other hand, LMK does this very well. Mk our main protagonist has a handful of different stages throughout the narrative. There are 4 stages. 4 different character arcs, 4 different morals, 4 different themes, 4 different portrayals of the same character. This makes MK as a character not only very interesting but alive considering that in almost every season of the progression of the show, there is a change in his motives, mindset, and overall character as a whole now, for him being a round or a flat character, there is a small amount of room for debate. We don't know much about his past but that's what makes his motives so interesting which is why I'd argue that he is a round character. Not only that but the change in his character has pinnacle moments but these changes can also be silent. this can be seen not only through his actions but also through the actions of his foil character Redson. Now Mk having a foil is important not only to measure his growth overall as a character but also his mindset and the change in his overall character. At the start of the story, we have stage 1. A happy-go-lucky kind of dumb main character without a care in the world other than to protect the people and home he cares so much about. He doesn't need to prove himself or learn anything about himself. No questions are asked he just IS. Here MK is a very flat and static character, he doesn't change all that much other than getting better at his powers and fighting but there's no change in his mindset or his morals. All the while his foil RS is giving his everything for his family, doing everything in his power to gain their approval for his name and identity. onto stage 2, this is where the fun part really begins when it comes to MK's character Stage two begins when Spider Queen shows up. Not her special or her fight but her first appearance. It's the first time Mk couldn't find a workaround to beating a villain. No SQ in this represents his fears which is where we get that first true look at his character. SQ captured his friends, she's large and opposing, and she can take a hit from MK. He can't beat her. And that terrifies him. Not only because she's a spider, but because of what she represents. His mentor's past coming to haunt him. to HUNT him. It's the first time we see him start to ask questions. Maybe not verbally but the seed has been planted. Demons are after him for his power, they want it, so it begs the question of how he got it in the first place. Why him? Why now? In the SQ special, we see this yet again. This feeling of helplessness, the need for self-reflection, and this is exactly what happens in the trigram. He reflects. For the first time he as a character reflects, on his actions, and on his choices. Meanwhile, RS is being pulled into being a hero into doing good for the sake of his family. He begins to form connections, while MK is questioning his. Now we move on to stage 3. The Lady Bone Demon and Azure Lion. These characters are the driving force for MK's third arc as a character. It makes him question so many things to cut off good connections with the people he cares for, all for the sake of supposedly protecting them. Meanwhile, the questions, the fear, the fact of not having a choice haunts him. Throughout this. LBD is another embodiment of his fears. She straight-up KILLS Spider Queen, because SHE is his new set of fears. The fears he built off of SQ taking a new form in the shape of Lady Bone Demon and she does so much more in that role than SQ ever did. LBD taunts Mk constantly, either face to face or through other characters such as Macaque or the Mayor. Mk is driven so close to the brink, but he still has his friends, he's still not cut off from his net. This is shown beautifully in the ending with how they defeat LBD

Part 2

[eisforeidolon]

Do you consider Dean to be abusive to Sam?? I read a post saying the number of times he's punched him to vent his frustrations or control Sam, and how Sam is clearly used to it suggest it was like this when they were kids too.

So the thing is, if you go far enough into either the solo-Sam or solo-Dean side of the fandom, you run into those kind of fans. Who are convinced their fave is a poor helpless baby relentlessly abused and forced to stay with the other brother against their own best interest while being a veritable saint who has done nothing questionable ever.

Is hitting someone when you're frustrated or pissed off healthy? Of course not. However, the framing of certain Sam (and Cass) stans that Dean is constantly physically lashing out is both hardly accurate of to totality of Dean's behavior across fifteen seasons and pointedly amnesiac that while Sam is more inclined to lash out verbally, he has also hit Dean in frustration/anger, too. The whole first episode is them trading back and forth shoving each other around out of emotions ranging from mild annoyance to genuine anger. Even if we don't count him initiating the fight at the end of season four because he was high on demon blood (which...), he shoves Dean into a wall at the beginning of season five for doubting he might not be entirely over his addiction, and he does his own punching over the archangel box thing in season fourteen. Things like that are, of course, entirely different when Sam does it. For reasons. Which doesn't even get into the relative healthiness of the verbal stuff like his cajoling Dean to tell him about Hell and then throwing every insecurity Dean has over it back in his face later that season. Or how he always very pointedly wants to make Dean talk about Dean's feelings regardless of what Dean wants as his method of coping after a shared tragedy because he gets very weird and agitated about trying to "fix" Dean being obviously not okay.

I am not going to get into a whole long rant about the weird neo-puritanical impulses of current day fandom trying to entirely whitewash or blackwash characters (or ships) into Pure Good or Pure Evil according to whether or not particular fans like them other than to say it's totally a thing at play here. Which usually involves an absolute fuckton of over-identification and projection (see nearly every discussion of John Winchester, like, ever). I'm just pointing out that these are both complicated characters who sometimes make bad and ugly choices, that's ... a big part of what makes a good story, that they can also make good choices and be heroes while being flawed and fallible.

As to the whole underlying assertion about being abusively controlling? The Winchesters' childhood fucked them both up, but in really different - nearly opposite - ways. I am not at all saying that Dean can't be stubborn, bossy, or belligerent when he's made up his mind about something. However, Sam (and Sam's stans) often try to frame Dean not agreeing with Sam as bossing him around. It's all fine if Sam wants to do what Dean does. It's all fine if Dean agrees to do what Sam wants to do. But as soon as they have an insurmountable conflict of opinion? Several times Sam falls back into insisting Dean is trying to control him for not immediately agreeing Sam is right when Sam has decided he's sure he's right. He doesn't just want to be able to do what he wants to do, he wants to have the authority to make Dean agree and go along. And when Dean doesn't or he decides Dean won't? That's when he starts lying or sneaking around or taking off without a word - like he's back to being a rebelling teenager rather than an adult disagreeing with another adult. Which makes it easier for Dean, whose own issues do very definitely lean towards an overactive sense of responsibility for Sam and Sam's choices from his experience of their childhood? To fall back into treating him like someone being childish. Early on there's even a couple instances, like in season one when Sam characterizes his own choice to go on a revenge quest as Dean dragging him out of Stanford or in season five when he blames Dean for his being so willing to trust Ruby, where Sam tries to reframe his decisions as Dean's fault because he's so desperate for an authority to push back against when things didn't turn out like he was sure they would. Like, yeah, Dean has got some serious Big Brother Issues, but Sam has got just as big of a boat full of Little Brother Issues. Both sides of that are sometimes quite maladaptive and feed off each other. You get a far different result when they actually both commit to talking something out instead of falling into dumb behavior like this (and it being Dean's unilateral choices setting Sam off certainly happens its fair share of the time). Contrast how Dean reacts when Sam sneaks around with Ruby versus when Sam talks to him about his plan to jump in the Cage. Contrast how Sam reacts to Dean trying to stick himself in the box behind his back versus them working out a plan involving him going to confront Amara. And so on.

They very much push each other's deepest behavioral buttons, both intentionally and not. And extreme stans of one or the other have a tendency to convince themselves their fave is acting in a totally understandable and reasonable manner at every turn, while the other brother is an irrational, abusive, selfish fuck-up of an albatross around their neck. Hell, even without going to extremes, it can be very easy to sympathize with and fixate on all the positive attributes of and slights against your fave so much more clearly. Especially with fifteen years of show to remember. I can understand that to an extent, but I think abuse discourse is just plain ridiculous.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I wish if the ml writers really want the whole princess and knight thing they'd do it like Ariel from little mermaid especially since they both similar enough. 1) they're isolated 2) curious about the outside world 3) parents don't want them out. The whole meeting their love interest should just be a bonus, not become the whole personality like the writers did for Adrien in s4 and 5. :(

I have mixed feelings about the knight and princess thing. I'm big on messing with gender roles, so I like it in theory. I actually saw the art before I saw the episode that it's in and loved it because I thought that it was fan art. Then I realized that it was official art and I liked it a lot less because it didn't fit the story. Adrien wasn't a helpless princess. He was a knight, too.

Little did I know that the princess and knight art was apparently foreshadowing just how badly the writers were going to botch the ending.

Damsels in distress of any gender aren't a bad thing in and of themselves. It's perfectly normal to see a character get trapped and need outside help or to have a character start in a position where they have no power. The reason why Damsels in distress are so looked down on is a mix of the gender stereotyping involved and the way that they're traditionally written as having no agency. Adrien is, sadly, a perfect example of the second issue. He's the pretty arm candy who couldn't possibly help himself. He just needs to wait around and, one day, a big strong knight will save him!

This would make some sense if Adrien didn't have a miraculous, but he literally wields one of the two most powerful miraculous in existence. He has the ability to escape his prison when he's trapped in London. He just doesn't because he's a poor helpless maiden who needs someone else to save him, making us all wonder why the writers gave him a miraculous in the first place.

Let's compare Adrien to Disney's Cinderella (the 60's version, not the 2010's update which was somehow less progressive than the original). The original Cinderella does what she's told because she has no way out. She's a victim of prolonged child abuse with no wealth or personal belongings, very similar to Adrien at the start of Miraculous. But when Cinderella is given a way to magically get out? She immediately takes it, just like Adrien does. And when she's locked away with no way to escape? She still tries to get out! She bangs on the door! She calls for help! And when help comes? She grabs it, leading herself to freedom.

That's how you write a good Damsel in distress. You give them as little power as possible while also making them an active part of the story. They're someone who wants to change their reality, who might even try to change their reality, but who truly can't due to circumstances beyond their control. It's a very relatable situation for many people and why Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale.

For Adrien to fit this role, season five needed to take away his power and they honestly could have done that. When he learned that he was being shipped off to London, he could (and arguably should) have told Ladybug that he was being forced to leave Paris. This could have led to him giving up the ring for the safety of the city. A selfless, noble act that no one could fault him for. After all, it's not like Ladybug has other heroes that she could call on! If Chat Noir isn't around, then she could easily be screwed.

Then, when the final comes and Ladybug has to fight alone, it's not because Adrien is too weak and frail to fight off the nightmare dust that literally every other teenage character in the show manges to fight off. Instead, dust or no dust, he literally cannot escape his prison. He has to rely on Ladybug because he has no other choice. We could even see him trying to fight his way out, thinking of her all the while.

Instead, we get Adrien once again failing to use his love to win the day. Between Chat Blanc, Ephemeral, and this mess, I'm not sure what the show is trying to tell us, but it's nothing good. It amazes me that some people think things are going to get better for our poor kitty.

I mean, they might! This show has never been anything close to consistent about anything, so he could surprise us all next season. But it would still be a massive, unexpected shift and you're better off expecting more of the same.

[skayafair]

Part 41

I finally got to listen to it!

Arthur has a lot of spite left in him sounding so pissed off screaming out Kayne's name, huh

And yet, knowing how he's not shy of swearing, all he can call John is a helpless "villain". Aw.

Oh, YOU GO JOHN! I support all your rights but more importantly your wrongs. I have no idea why John acting on his worst gives me such a kick every time but I properly enjoy and wholeheartedly support it ^_^

Also I liked the echo on "I'm trapped!". Reminded me of previous intances of him eldritching out. Morrrre~

Oh, I like the turn it's taking. John's lack of freedom, of agency is getting broadened in its scale, John doesn't compare it to a human's (who he wanted to be) one - but to a god's (who he was). Seems like the DW rattled quite a few memories and John had to stop running away from his past (I mean considering the supposed atrocities he had to commit there he was basically forced into his old self so it was kind of inevitable). Who you were isn't who you are and doesn't have to be your future self either but it's still in there, it still matters and has its fair share of influence. He had to face this and I'm glad that he seemed to do it.

I don't want to imagine what it should feel like to be in John's metaphorical shoes though. He used to be a god - and then lost all the agency completely and kept failing to regain it, time after time. First he ended up in the DW despite his intentions with no chance to escape on his own accord, then was yeeted into Arthur and failed to take all control, then he had a chance during the ritual but that chance flew out the window, too. In the end of that path he had to lose even the little amount of freedom he had, giving himself back to the King. Frankly I think returning to the King could actually be a chance to take over - John managed to rival him in his will, after all, so who knows - maybe he could win, too. However, Kayne yanked him out and back into the DW, making him basically a slave yet again. Returning to Arthur should have felt heaveny at the very beginning, there even were moments of his own actions and achievements, like with cutting the tendrils. And yet this is still far from being free, being his own, even with the deal out of the picture. It should feel like a torture to have a living, independent mind and be unable to act on its will. No wonder he's a bit drunk on the opportunity to finally have some range of options.

Also now his attempt to kill Oscar that seemed very contradicting to his latter values and behaviour looks actually natural. Just out of the DW, with a reviewed perspective and confused about in what direction to head next, old instincts refreshed and most likely habitual again (if it was even possible - I mean what form did he have in the DW to even be able to do anything?) - no wonder in the moment of intense emotional turmoil he fell back to those old ways without much thinking. Still very bad but at least explainable now. Also it looks like John isn't sure he wants to be human now. Hmmm, I like this direction, too. The experience will stay anyway, he'll have the understanding, and that's important.

"I don’t know. But stop turning that frustration towards me." Wow, Arthur, A+ for the ability to articulate what exactly you want and are discontent with! Communication, yaaay!

I like how they arrived from defensive opposing positions to shedding the defences off and coming to an understanding, still managing to vent the emotions off in the process. Hey I want this level of the skill!

"Why wait? - Nothing. I thought I… it’s nothing. - You’re sure? - Yes." Uuuuugrh. High time to learn that's a bad way of addressing the suspicions, boys *sigh* 

"How did it… feel? - It felt… powerful. - Hm." This whole conversaton of theirs, especially coupled with the overall situation, really reminds me of the very beginning of season two. Fresh of the portal in an unknown surroundings, under the rain, talking about John's bad choices and things Arthur postpones to talk about ("The deal with Kayne… - In a moment."), only the last time John didn't let him. I guess now he feels too rattled himself.

The owl. Ow. I'll get to my eldritch owls AU, I promise! (Also, Alexander?! In what way is it comfortable?.. It means "the defender", so well maybe, but still - ehhh?..)

"This world could be very different than what we expect." - ooohhh, will they meet dragons?! *__* Hardy, I know, but the possibility is still thrilling.

*John describes the surroundings* I've been to just one DnD session but the shift in the perspective cannot be undone. Is that how you guys have been seeing the whole setting all along???

"Look, we can’t afford to be at odds here, John. Not anymore." Oh. I like the place they are at dynamic-wise. By now they've long established they want to be friends - trying to be as best as they can. No one has an upper hand, unlike in previous seasons. Season 1 os obvious, season 2 - John still knew more about the world they found themselves in than Arthur and hid some things, the relationship was still very rocky. In s3 Arthur had an upper hand at the very least emotionally-wise. Season 4 - John's turn again. Now thought they've come to some pretty good communication and know each other well enough, there's trust (despite everyting), and both are about equally in the dark. There's the "John's crimes in the DW" bit still looming over them but both are aware of it, which helps to some degree.

Meaning - more or less (John still has little agency, although it's a bit better now) equal partnership. YAY. I'm excited.

"It is time to grow up, in every sense of the word." Ahhh. There it is. I have to say it's been bugging me the whole time but I couldn't enunciate what exactly and with what grounds. The thing is, I distaste the way a person lacking in one field is being constantly compared to a child overall. This infantilization happens not only in Malevolent. It's often brought into other stories - the most recent one I came across was Resident Alien TV series. Often enough the said field is the emotional and the social one. You know who else is often infantillized the same way with similar issues? Neurodivergent people - I think autistic ones more frequently but I didn't look into the statistics (if they exist), that's just what I've heard of the most. I know I've been referred to in a patronizing way both by some friends and relatives just because I don't get things obvious to them but unseen to me (and half of those things makes no fucking sense even when you learn about them). John is far from being a child, his lack of knowledge and understanding, of experience lays in very concrete fields.

So the constant comparison to a "parent-child" dynamic is irritating to me when it's simply a "more experienced in one or two ways person & a less experienced in said ways person". Yes those fields are very important. Still, there are things John knows of and Arthur doesn't, but I don't recall anyone comparing our dear detective to a child back in Dreamlands, for instance. John knew how dangerous it was out there and was more coutious, had some memories and knowledge about some things existing there and got frustrated with Arthur's attempts to befriend everything around more than once. From this point of view, Arthur behaved "childishly" and lacked crucial experience John sort of had (even though it was mostly forgotten), while social skills and emotional intelligence meant next to nothing (save for once instance).

So can we please cut this tendency of sustainably comparing adults to children because they aren't as well-versed in one or two fields as others.

"There was so much I couldn’t explain, because you weren’t able to know where I had come from. But now… with you knowing, perhaps…" Oh shit THEY CAN FINALLY TALK EVERYTHING OUT clearly yaaaaay! I forgot! Looking forward to this.

Also John's very quiet for the most of the episode, as if he's afraid to say another word, like moving across a mine field. Very uncertain in any way, like he doesn't trust himself.

Aaaaand Arthur confirms his title of a disney princess trying to befriend every creature he meets once again! Thanks for addressing this in canon! =D

I like how the podcast is consistent with the fact that John has sense of smell but it's not as developed as Arthur's.

Damn it's so wierd to hear John at loss of words, and so often, too.

"You really started to master your investigative ways, you know?" I like how John sounds so lost for the majotiry of the episode, but once there's an opportunity to fall into a familiar process of the investigation, his tone immediately changes to a lighter, more confident one. There's comfort in it. And Arthur noticed this and paused to give a friendly praise. It's important after all the forgetfulness in New York, and judging by John's reaction he appreciated this, too. It's something to hold on to, like "I still have it, we've got this, it can still be okay".

Wow Arthur's filling the bingo card starting right from the very 1st episode! Falling yet another ladder are we :D Now there's rather a bad injury, too, and they didn't even meet any monsters yet :DDD Arhtur has certainly stepped up his game!

"No… no, nothing. - Is it the wall?" Arthur is really acing the whole friendship thing the whole episode. He took notice of how unsure John is of everything now and made this extra effort to help, to support.

Yay the glass is back in the game! I llike that they decided to revise the bag contents.

"Kayne’s dagger. - Frustratingly useful." Yay the humor this apisode is certainly humoring! =D

Three black candles, in the 13th century, right. That screams "ritual", guuuuys where is your cautiousness!

I like how this episode took its time and didn't skip over some "mechanics" like the podcast usually does. There are more directions from John (THANKS), more pondering over what to do and which way (the torch, the dagger and tracing the way along the wall), the sense of smell, the way the cloak kept the water from soaking through - these little details are what does the trick to me. What gives more quality to the story and the way it's told.

The membrain, ew. Arthur's been holding exceprionally well, honeslty.

Ah, I finally found the word to how John sounds for the most of the episode. Defeated, even in situations when he would have had other emotions before. "The Undefeated" title considered, this is extra sad.

A recurring thing of the episode is that they find themselves in the darkness and John can't see. I think it adds considerably to his feeling of being powerless. It often sounds like he's giving up.

"No. But we’re close to the surface!" And someone said he's going to be properly done with all the pits like two seasons ago :< (I don't really remember when it was exactly so maybe less but the notion still stands.)

So. The hole in the wall was a mouth with teeth, wasn't it?

[kyshiwarrior]

tbh. i liked live action jet but i also missed his anger at the world he seemed less angry to me although i am hoping they will keep this version alive because katara was still kinda defending him in the tunnels to sokka?? praying someone in that writing room has jet brainworms

isn't he so !!!!!!!!!!!

I really doubt they're going to let him live unfortunately :( I just watched Sebastian's other work and I feel like he was hired for all the range he has to offer + if Hahn didn't live, Jet doesn't stand a chance.

They also set up the mind control early with his conversation with Katara, actually being specific about his past while bringing to light what it takes to get past 'a mental block' that prevents you from reaching your potential as a fighter. He asked her to remember her mom past the tragedy and something about her that was alive -- that's definitely gonna make a comeback when they're breaking him out of the Dai Li mind control. Specifically why I think he's doomed alongside this foreshadowing is his word choices:

I'm placing $20 on this btw. There's NO WAY this isn't a set up for season 2.

I do, however, have good temporary news!!! I'm betting they give him a redemption arc EARLY and JUSTLY. In the original, he was 'redemption by death' trope which was shitty as hell. I think they have a golden opportunity to do more with his character by keeping him in Omashu. They set it up perfectly as it is: Jet's whole reason for trying to kill King Bumi was BECAUSE Jet thought he gave up and wasn't doing anything to help the people . . . what do you think it must be like for Jet to watch Omashu to be taken over because an order NOT TO DO ANYTHING? Oh he's gonna be so rightfully pissed!!! This is a perfect set up for someone who was RIGHT but also out of the loop. (honestly , fuck king bumi, i know it works out in the end but I dont forgive him for giggling to himself while everyone was horrified and helpless to the violence)

With that said, I think they're going to make Jet the lead or one of the leaders in the Omashu resistance group we see in Book Two! This makes so much sense AND offers a good redemption arc. His worst nightmare came to life and now he has the chance to not make things worse for his people but step up properly as a PROTECTOR AND GUARDIAN. That's all he really wanted to be. If they already reached what he fought so hard and swallowed his morals to prevent, his actions from there speak LOUD. That group gets convinced to prioritize escaping over fighting and it saves all their lives. I would LOVE for Jet to come to peace with that. -- even though he's also just for wanting to go out fighting.

So I'll take Jet dying if it means at LEAST we get early redemption arc that can make the Jet-Antis switch up

[coraniaid]

Made a list of my favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by the order in which they aired in their respective seasons (that is: my favorite episode 1 across all seven seasons, favorite episode 2 across all seven seasons and so on). Much easier to do for some positions than others, I found. Episodes 1, 7, 16, 17 and 22 are probably the episode numbers with the most high quality episodes, while

When She Was Bad [I could have picked from any of five different episodes here, really: the season opener is usually very strong]

Real Me [I think the only competition is Bargaining Part 2 but that two-parter works better as a single episode; Real Me is morally the season opener of Season 5 anyway, I'd argue]

School Hard [obviously I was tempted to pick Faith's debut episode but I think this one is a bit stronger, simply because Kakistos himself is the sort of one-note villain like the Anointed One which School Hard was supposed to be moving past]

Fear Itself [here I was tempted to pick Help, just so Season 7 wouldn't feel left out of the list making process, but frankly Season 7 deserves to be ostracized a little]

Homecoming [on another day I might have chosen No Place Like Home (or even Never Kill A Boy On The First Date if I was really trying to be contrarian, but I think we all know I'd be wrong)]

Family [I think this is a pretty easy choice to be honest; Band Candy is fun, sure, but it's not as central to its season themes as this one]

Revelations [this was hard though! lots of good Episode 7s]

Lovers Walk [it's this or Tabula Rasa, right? and it's not Tabula Rasa]

The Wish [again, this seems a pretty simple choice; I suspect Something Blue might be the more popular option more generally, but not on my list]

Hush [another easy choice, and to be honest I don't even like Hush as much as some people do]

Out of Mind, Out of Sight [oh, look, a Season 1 episode. Those are rare; not a huge amount of competition here either although I suppose maybe Ted would be my choice on a different day]

Prophecy Girl [... maybe not that rare? I think I like Prophecy Girl a bit more than the average person and I like Helpless quite a lot less, and I'm not really sure what the other options would even be here]

Dead Things [feel a bit guilty about not picking Surprise but I really like this episode and the Season 2 Jenny retcon really doesn't hold up]

Innocence [another surprisingly easy choice; I don't think there's even an obvious second place here]

Consequences [this was trickier though; I really do like This Year's Girl a lot]

Who Are You? [a lot of good episode 16s as well! I think The Body is comfortably a top five episode but it doesn't have Sarah Michelle Gellar as Faith beating up Eliza Dushka as Buffy in a church while screaming through tears about how much she hates herself, so...]

Passion [also a lot of good episode 17s too, actually (and only one really, really, really bad episode 17, which I won't dignify by naming)]

Earshot [another pretty easy decision; this is, I think, pretty easily Jane Espenson's best episode]

I Only Have Eyes For You [I like Choices quite a lot but this isn't a hard decision either]

The Prom [I think a lot of episode 20s are actually quite bad; by contrast The Prom is the start of the arguably the best run of three consecutive episodes in the show's history (and maybe it's even Marti Noxon's best episode?)]

Graduation Day (Part 1) [this is the second of that run of three episodes I praised above; I think the obvious/only competition is Becoming (Part 1) but -- while I think Becoming (Part 2) is a little better than Graduation Day (Part 2) -- I think the first part of the Season 3 finale is better than the respective Season 2 episode]

Restless [not quite my favorite episode of the whole show, but I think the episode it would be easiest to defend as objectively the show's best; again, there is an absurd amount of competition here]

So, looking over that list, that's two Season 1 episodes, five Season 2 episodes, eight Season 3 episodes, four Season 4 episodes, two Season 5 episodes, one Season 6 episode and no Season 7 episodes. Which doesn't quite reflect how I'd rank the seasons overall (I think Season 5, as an attempt at a single overarching story and not just a collection of isolated episodes, is quite significantly better than Season 4; and I think Season 6 is better and more thematically consistent than Season 4 too, even if it doesn't have the same high points as that season) but it doesn't feel totally off base either.

I think every season has its run of good and bad episodes and I guess those runs line up a little more often than I'd realized. The two episodes of Season 1 that made it onto the list are really the only episodes of that season that could have plausibly made it, while there were several episodes from Season 5 and Season 6 (and even two or three from Season 7) that just had the bad luck of going up against really stiff competition.

[jamtoasties3316]

the teams protest about red bull dominance so much that the fia decide to weaken them. they can’t interfere with the car, so instead they decide to work on max and turn him from alpha to omega! during the summer break they first put him on super intense hormones to make sure he’s ready on time. poor thing is just so overwhelmed from it, when he gets a pussy it’s not even difficult to convince him to start taking dildos, he’s so desperate for some relief! at first he doesn’t even notice just how big they’re getting because the change is gradual, and when they finally get such a big and thick one that makes his belly bulge and makes him squirt as soon as he sinks onto it, the doctors tell him that they’re preparing him for knotting! he must remember that surely eventually some alpha will want to knot him and get him pregnant!

They also give him hormonal injections to make his tits grow and lactate, which was not the original plan, but they decided it would be more fun for the alphas, and max was so cute when he got confused about his tits leaking

most of the time he’s not allowed clothes due to sensitivity and observation of changes in his body, and when he’s finally allowed some it’s mostly tiny frilly lingerie that is completely useless other than making him look pretty. max doesn’t even realise how easy it’s going to be tor the alphas to just push his frilly panties aside and slip fingers into his pussy

finally when it’s time to go back racing max is let back out, fully omega. all the other drivers, mechanics and engineers are betas and alphas, so he’s the centre of attention all day long. he doesn’t even make it to the hospitality before a reporter slaps his tits as he walks by and another asks him to show his pussy for a photo, which he does! he has to, it’s media day! a whole crowd gathers round to see his new pussy and push a few fingers in to test it. the drivers at first approach him more carefully but as soon as they realise he basically turns helpless the moment his pussy is touched they dont even bother with subtlety. max gets six alpha knots on his first day back! his panties are ruined too, but it’s not like theres a point in wearing them now, with cum dripping out of him. and he didnt ask the doctors if they put him on birth control…

(this ran away from me but in my defence it’s horny brain at 3 am)

Max doesn't have a choice when fia decides he is to become an Omega, and part of Max is excited maybe, and is sure he will still win races for the team!

The hormones he gets are very strong and he needs a lot of stimulation of his tits to help him, and he has to jerk off a lot as his cock shrinks until it's tiny (definitely someone plays with him like thst) and then he finally has his pussy! Fia didn't expect how silly and dumb max gets from the hormones, eagerly taking the dildos they give him and just following their orders like a good girl. The dildos get so big and then one is so big it makes his tummy bulge and Max squirts so hard on it! All the dildo fucks are watched by doctors and they now deem him ready for knots and say he is a real omega.

His tits get pumped until he lactates cos Max is too far gone to say no and red bull quite enjoys seeing the little slut. He wears tiny lingerie or skimpy outfits, waddling around the paddock for testing as his new pussy is still so sensitive. He is so submissive too, almost saying thank you when he gets his top pulled down and tits slapped until he drips milk. Then he has drivers taking his panties off to test his pussy, dipping fingers into him before pushing him down on hands and knees and fucking him while Max moans like a whore.

Max is pregnant before the first race of the season, bur travels along with them as long as possible. He is imprinted on the driver Alphas now and needs them all to fuck him!

[dotthings]

Thoughts on the first 3 episodes of The Bad Batch season 3.

Season 3 is a work of art so far. The characters, story, the animation quality, the backgrounds.

Crosshair and Omega are ripping my heart out. Crosshair had almost given up. He says he deserves to be in there, his hand is shaking. He felt abandoned by his brothers, who hadn’t really abandoned him, although I understand Crosshair’s pov, and so he reached out to the Empire, thinking it was the answer, the place that would never fail him, and he found out what the Empire really was. Now he blames himself, to the point where he’s given up on himself. But his family isn’t giving up on him after all, Omega certainly isn’t, and Hunter won’t either. Hunter will want his brother back.

Hunter’s focus is saving Omega right now, but remember that Hunter thinks Crosshair gave up on him, on all of them. Hunter’s carrying a feeling of guilt just as much as Crosshair, he thinks Crosshair’s lost. And they just lost Tech. So on top of the Crosshair situation, Hunter’s now grieving another lost brother. I think Hunter and Crosshair are going to be okay. I hope they hug, or something.

Crosshair had almost given up but then Omega gets through to him and their escape together, seeing them work together and rely on each other, MY HEART.

Wrecker also ripping my heart out just by existing. He’s so strong, physically and mentally, he just keeps going, but there’s this air of sadness about him. Sad, loving giant.

Omega and her straw doll—there’s been actual psychological studies that a beloved object, a stuffed animal, or a doll, can help traumatized children. Emerie’s confiscation of the doll is part of the Empire’s whole psychological warfare. Hopeful people are harder to control. Which brings me back to Crosshair. Crosshair’s feelings of helplessness makes him an easy prisoner to keep confined. Omega, otoh, can defy the Empire.

Aw, Omega gets a DOGGIE. With really big fangs.

The three reg clone kids were great. They looked to me like they were modeled after Daniel Logan, and I suspected they were using his voice and sure enough, he voices Mox. (Not sure why they didn’t have him voice all 3 clones). Those three were a reflection of some really important themes with the clones. Free will and individuality of the clones, choice, choosing to save family.

Eeeeeeee, those creepy vine things in the abandoned lab were fantastic. SO CREEPY. Star Wars does space horror well.

HELLO EMPEROR ON DECK.

M-COUNT.

Okay, so I’ve had some thoughts for a while that the reason Omega was special is she’s a clone whose blood is infused with midichlorians. Omega as a carrier of Jedi powers. Why she’s different and extra special. There were hints in the first ep of TBB. Now we have confirmation.

Which raises questions. Is she force-capable or just a carrier?

Also about “somehow the emperor returned.” The Mandalorian dropped some clues too, but it was the final scene of TBB S2 that really clued me in. This is a bit of spackle work on TROS to give better context. TROS really gave us nothing. (I’m aware there’s printed material external to the movie explaining it, about Sheev’s clones, and Dathan, but I’m referring to the filmed material, which via TBB and The Mandalorian have given us enough clues, I think).

Going to just put this here: are we absolutely sure Sheev is where the scientists got the high M-count blood? Could be Sheev. otoh, Shev had the most powerful Sith-Jedi in the universe, right there in a medical facility for a while.

One final thought, WINTER CLONE SOLDIER, IS THAT YOU??? IS THAT TECH???

[the-promise-has-been-made]

Okay it was in my tags before but now I think about it more Rebel Moon could actually have been a really great first season of a TV Show?? So please consider, with all the spoilers: Rebel Moon Mini Series season one, A Child of Fire:

Episode 1 - We are introduced to Kora, a mysterious woman who recently arrived in a small farming community on Veldt. We are given exposition on the community, learn of her tentative bonds with the community, with the village father, with Ven the hunter, with Gunnar, and there are always hints of something off about her, but it is not spelled out just yet. Then the Dreadnought arrives, and she is like 'well fuck I am out of here' but the village father convinces her that they will make this work, and that she should stay - stay low, but stay - and she does, because she likes these people. Of course things go tits up IMMEDIATELY and now she's killed a whole platoon of soldiers, the village father is dead, and in 10 weeks, the Empire will return, take all their food and probably slaughter everyone. Kora wants to leave, but Gunnar begs and pleads with her that he has contacts within the resistance, and can find them help, but can't get there alone and needs her help and once that's done she can leave and will never have to look back. So she does, because that guy is so innocent and he wouldn't survive half a day out there on his own. They set out together. We also get the Sam and Jimmy scene in this episode, and Jimmy's exposition about the assassination of the royal family.

Episode 2 - This episode opens with the resistance of the Bloodaxe twins (were they twins, I honesty don't remember) taking out some empire freighters or whatever, some way to get food for their people and also weapons. It's a victory, it's a cool space scene, where the tactical skill of the twins is highlighted. There are no losses, it's a clean victory, and it has Noble in FITS. This is where we are first introduced to the twins. Cut to Kora and Gunnar who reach Providence, and it's like a cheesy western movie. On the way there, we had just a brief conversation about Kora's past - she was a soldier, had quite a high rank - nothing specific yet. We are introduced to the bounty hunters and their prisoner (Gunnar's contact) as a 'remeber this, it'll be important later' kind of drop, we don't see Kai exchange money with them, but see them buy him a drink or something, or vice versa, just a 'harmless' interaction. Saloon fight breaks out, Kai gets involved, they make their escape in his ship, he offers to take them off world. With Gunnar's contact to the twins lost, it is revealed he actually doesn't know them at all, so they go with their second best choice, the disgraced General Titus. Kai has to make a few stops along the way, for business - nothing about picking up people on the way, just 'business' - it's implied he's a smuggler and picking up contraband, but Gunnar and Kora don't care bout his activities because they are like 'if he does illegal shit he'll likely not want to get caught, and we don't want to be caught either'. Meanwhile, we also have a look back at the village, where Jimmy is undergoing some kind of awakening after the scene with Sam. Also there, that young soldier kid who was the only decent one is becoming a bit of a figure - he helps prepare the town for the inevitable horror that is to come, he teaches them to defend themselves (just because you can't wield a sword laser gun, doesn't mean they won't make you die by it, might as well put up a fight). Sam is the first to come to him about this, because she never wants to feel so helpless and scared again. And if yall wanna be horny, sure, we can include some tentacle porn with Noble, cause why make the show any less horny than the movie was? Its while he learns of the attack by the Bloodaxe twins or something.

Episode 3 - Starts off somewhere else entirely, and we get the backstory of Tarrak I can't speak to because we don't goddamn know it! He's a prince of somewhere? Guess his people were subjugated by the Empire, his family killed, he was sold into slavery, something like that, and ends up chained to that forge place. We see some scenes of his life there, and the arrival of the griffin (Bennu?). Basically the plot of Spirit, we see these two secretly connect, whenever he can get close enough. It's a very quiet episode, not much speaking, just gentle bonding between man and animal, because he's the only one who treats Bennu like a being with feelings and not some wild beast. Enter Kora and the boys. Kai is having dealings with the guy whose name I forgot, but Kora notices Tarrak and asks why he's chained up. They are about to leave when she gets into betting with the guy about Tarrak's freedom, but we already know Tarrak and Bennu have bonded. Still, it is tense, because there's a difference between giving pets in quiet moments, and actually riding a giant winged creature with a beak and claws like swords. But of course he does it, because he's awesome. They are about to leave when Bennu breaks free, kills the guy and catches up with them because she is bonded to Tarrak now (logistic wise, I know she probably can't go on the ship but I just want them together, the shirtless man needs his flying horse bird! And also you got a goddamn GRIFFIN and don't use her for the rest of the movie?? WHY?!!!). Meanwhile, Noble is investigating the twins, and has footage of them making trade with Gunnar, so he's like 'this fucking guy?! Lied to my face?!' and he checks in on Veldt and learns that his men on the ground there were all killed. No one he saw in that barn could do that, but he remembers seeing Kora and he's like 'wait where have I seen her before?' and he goes through records, and lo and behold, he finds her file in the most wanted database and we see her real name (including something that identifies her as Balisarius' ward) and we're like '??? What does it mean?!'

Episode 4 - Again, we start with some backstory on a new character, a nameless woman who's children are killed - by the empire? We dont knwo because the fuckn movie didn't tell us shit about her other than that she lost a kid??? Then we cut to the ship, and some lighthearted banter between the current crew, Kora, Gunnar, Kai, and Tarrak, and Bennu tearing up the cargo bay and being adorable. Gotta establish some friendships! Tarrak and Kora teasing Gunnar about being too sweet, Kai and Gunnar swapping recipes, Kai and Kora being slightly flirty, Tarrack singing songs from his homeworld to Bennu and the others listening in while they work, that sort of stuff. They make a stop on another world for businesss Kai has to do, but find the city is in disarray, talk of a monster. The group goes to investigate, and learn a child has been taken. Kora - flashing back to another child dying on her watch - can't look away, and goes to find out more, against the advice of the others. They arrive just in time as Nemesis goes to confront the creature. Hers is a name only whispered in fear and reverence, the greatest assassin of the known universe, that sort of stuff, and we see her in action - but she isn't violent, she talks with the monster, tries to sympathize with it, as she, too, has lost children, and knows revenge and justice are often only separated by a thin and blurry line. Still, it comes to combat, and Gunnar swoops in to save the child while Nemesis fights and Kora runs distraction. The creature is killed, but it is not celebrated. Nemesis is heartbroken over it, because she understands this creature - because she WAS this creature, in the time when she was fuelled by her greatest rage and grief. When she learns that the party is looking for help to protect a town full of innocent people (including children) from the empire's indiscriminate slaughter, she wordlessly joins them as they leave. She's just there now, making herself comfortable without a fuss. Meanwhile, Noble finds out from his prisoner where the Bloodaxe twins were hiding last and he's like 'guess we're paying a visit to King Levitica'. We see the bountyhunters he dealt with leave, and they go through their newest contracts and we see there is a message from *gasp* Kai.

Episode 5 - Starts with Veldt, and we see what the hell is going on with Jimmy right now. He's experienceing nature. He's going on a full on druidic pilgrimage. He builds idols to the Princess out of leafs and twigs and we see flashbacks in his meditations, of the Princess bringing the bird back to life. And we hear the King say that iconic line about her bringing a kinder future for the universe, and him entrusting her safety to the one spoken to and we think it's Jimmy but then it's revealed to be Kora! And we see Kora being like this big sister figure to the Princess and then a harsh cut to Kora standing in shock over the dead bodies of the royal family, with blood on her hands and like did SHE do it or?! and then she wakes up back on the ship to the crew bickering while Nemesis is somewhere in the vents, eating an apple and watching them like it's reality TV and the most entertaining thing she's seen in half a century or however old she is cause honestly, she's probably a cyborg? we arrive on Pollux and go to the arena to speak with Titus and he's asleep/drunk in a ditch and has no interest in going with them because he is disillusioned and disgraced and all that, so how do we get him back on his feet? we appeal to his honour and his glory and somehow we end up in the arena fighting him and showing of his skills, and he has a particular grudge against Kora and they beat each other bloody and he accuses her of killing the Princess and she's like 'If I had done that I would have killed myself, if you think I could have done that then kill me right now!' and it's honestly emotional and they bond over both having believed in the future she would have meant for the universe and being betrayed by what the believed in, what they fought and killed for. And once they got it out of their system, Titus agrees to join them to protect Veldt. Back on the ship, Gunnar is like 'what the hell??' and THIS is when Kora reveals to him, and only to him, who she really is, but then we cut to Kai who's been listening in because it's his ship and there's no privacy, but also Nemesis was in the vents listening in on HIM listening in on them so she is like what is that guy up to?

Episode 6: The group meets with the Bloodaxe twins and their army. Negotiation begins and they're like 'we got our own food supply line now (as established in an earlier episode), we don't need your grain, why should we help you?' But Gunnar is convincing, and then Kora and Titus chime in and Darrian is like 'shit these guys are exactly what we were not so long ago, just little people tired of being target practice for the Empire, if we don't support them then what even is our cause??' So yeah, just as in the movie, he and his volunteers join them and now we got him and a bunch of resistance fighters with their ships ready to go. He joins our crew, his sister takes the remainder of their army and leaves to find a new hideout because they are certain it's just a matter of time before they're found by someone who has less than good intentions. As if on cue, we see Noble standing over King Levitica, surrounded by his dead people, but he's not even interested in finding them anymore, he's just like 'you were hiding them from our benevolent regent, and for that you gotta die' and beats him to death with his big stick. Back on the ship, the crew sits down for a shared meal, swapping battle stories, comparing scars, bonding (think, the cheese heist lasagna dinner on the Rocinante in season 2 of the Expanse). It's genuinely lighthearted, people are optimistic, they are a strong team, Veldt will be fine! Throughout the entire episode, we see Nemesis trying to get a moment with Kora, but somehow Kai is ALWAYS there. Kai explains he has to make one more business stop before returning to Veldt. As in the movie, they are unloading some cargo in the rain, but something seems off. Nemesis also moves to Kora, slips her a message that just says 'he knows', and she looks up at Kai, she sees him with the bounty hunters, meets his eye and his 'nothing personal' and the trap springs, too late for them to react. Several of Darrian's soldiers are killed immediately, Kora, Nemesis, Tarrak, Titus and Darrian are all shackled and disabled. Kai reveals that originally he had no intention of selling them out but then they kept collecting high profile outlaws and he thought 'actually might as well??' but then came the cherry on top when he realized who Kora really was and how could he NOT? A man's gotta survive, right? The whole spiel about 'I was just like you but there is no justice in the universe and you should have learned that by now'. He offers Gunnar to join him, promises it'll work out better for him. Gunnar refuses, cause he's honorable that way, and Kai calls him naive. From then it plays out pretty much like in the movie: Darrian dies taking down the Dreadnought, Kora has her big fight with Noble, Gunnar kills Kai for betraying them and almost getting Kora killed, the crew fights as a team because they have forged bonds while travelling together. Bennu also comes out and Tarrak is now a mounted combatant, picking off soldiers like fish in a barrel. When the dust settles, the nameless resistance soldier that is now apparently on the team is mourning their fallen comrades and Darrian (this is their origin story?), and Nemesis, Titus and Tarrak comfort them, telling them their sacrifice means nothing if they stop the fight now. They take the ship, tossing Kai's body overboard with the obligatory 'knew that guy was shady from the start!' and they return to Veldt. Jimmy sees them return, the village has started to fortify, and they approach through the fields on their horse-aliens - except Tarrak, who rides Bennu. The final scene is the imperials retrieving Nobles body and hooking him up to that whatever machine, but we don't see him interact with Balisarius at all, we just see him pop back to life and his first new gasp of breath cuts away to the end credits.

[merrinpippy]

thoughts on malevolent "the king" that i wrote down while listening to it on my commute

arthur is so gullible lmao "faroe might be here because of this music box even though I KNOW many entities have already and will try again to use her to trick me" hon cmon

rip arthur lester you would have loved star trek deep space nine season 1 episode 1 and more specifically "no. it's not linear"

love this new freak. he called arthur "my love" therefore i am instantly on board with him. me too babe. wonder if by choices he means the out of universe patreon polls?? he makes references to things from different time periods and seems to have some control over the (out of universe?) sound effects soooo

also v curious as to what this thing is in arthur that supposedly makes him so special. i hadn't gotten the vibe before this that there was anything significant about arthur, i mean not in a chosen-one way

arthur is so certain that john will win between them- so all of his "this is MY body"s aren't actually egotism or selfishness but defensive lashing out in response to the powerlessness he feels because in arthur's pov, if push comes to shove, the body ISN'T his, it's john's

oh john's "NEVER" ugh so good. i love devotion

poor lily. poor john.

ARTHUR ADMITS TO LOVING JOHN????? WHAT i'm only 20 eps in how much gayer can they get?? (i know i'm wearing shipping goggles but i am capable of seeing this without them too- it's a really interesting character moment for arthur to admit this. i'll need to come back to it later)

arthur's 'yah's are so good btw

aw John being protective of arthurrrr i love it when arthur and john are separate and clawing to get back to each other

it's interesting that arthur is heartwrenchingly truthful to both kayne (yes i did look up this spelling) and the king in this episode, despite intimate knowledge of how those truths can be twisted against him. it's also interesting that these are not truths he's spoken to john first, actually they're the opposites of vitriol he's sent johns way previously.

it's a pattern of behaviour that arthur will feel helpless against a particular truth and then posture viciously in the opposite direction, whether that be in what he says to john or what he chooses to do, where he chooses to go, etc- like going to the city, smashing the bottle that 'frank' wanted him to drink and so on

really love the conversation with the king and how arthur acknowledges his and john's monstrous acts and yet chooses to believe in them anyway. malevolent's thesis statement right there. i'm getting the vibe of it may have all been for nothing but our choices mattered because we made them.

finally the arthur self throat slitting i'd been spoiled for! even having been spoiled for it, it's a fantastic moment, and i actually disagree with the person who mentioned it in the tags of my previous post- they seemed to interpret it as a suicidal impulse of arthur's but i think arthur has proven repeatedly that he isn't suicidal, or at least if he is he's fighting that urge tooth and nail.

actually arthur has been so desperate to live this whole time, clinging to life at every step even just in order to spite the king. meanwhile john wants so desperately to change and not be like the king, to be his own person with free will- you could argue this is his chief want- yet they both throw these things away instantly when the other is in true peril.

deeply fucked up to separate the pair. extremely excited to see where the hell this goes.