#this world will only get worse

[skrmbrks]

i wish for peace in our lifetime, i wish for love to seep into every crack of this planet, i wish for it to penetrate every heart and soul. i wish for brutality to face its end, i wish for evil to turn to light. i wish for us to create such a place where cruelty cannot resurface. i wish for communities without borders, i wish for human and nature to be reunited by love and protect each other.

[guardian-of-soho]

The more it settles in, the more I understand Aziraphale’s shock at Crowley’s no. Crowley is the one who’s always wanted to ask Heaven his questions. Crowley is the one who’d planned to talk them into mercy. He’s the one who’d taught Aziraphale to stay with Heaven for safety’s sake, to go along with them as far as he could, for the chance to help Earth. He’s the one who told Aziraphale it was time to stop going along with Heaven when it came to Armageddon — they had to take a stand and try to change the outcome. And now Aziraphale sees a chance for them to do exactly that, all of that. He remembers how delighted Crowley was when he talked them out of trusting the Great Plan. He stopped them with a question! And now they say they trust him — that they’ll let him lead them! He believes he’s gotten to do what Crowley never did — ask those questions and get a response, and a wholly welcoming one. He thinks he can bring Crowley into a Heaven that wants to learn to love Earth. He thinks they can make space for mercy. And that the joy that was Crowley’s when he still believed he could ask his questions could be Crowley’s again! He saw him all alight and glad, once, guiding Creation into beauty. It’s all Crowley wanted then.

He hasn’t yet understood it’s not what Crowley’s wanting now. He doesn’t know that Crowley’s found that human life is sweeter — that Crowley only wants to love the world with two feet on the ground; and only with him there. Crowley would be as glad to watch Maggie and Nina love each other, and grow his plants, and guard his angel, as he ever was with the engine of the nebulae in his hands. And he still will be, once Aziraphale understands it’s all he wants too, and that together they have the power to make it so.

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

[thedisablednaturalist]

People who are worried they aren't helping with climate change or any other big world problem bc they do something like make video games or art or are a cashier at a grocery store:

You are helping. You are making the art that helps me, an environmentalist actively working to restore biodiversity and ecosystems, get through each day. You are helping those of us on the front lines enjoy living or take a well-needed break. The person loading my groceries into my car is making it so I can eat that week and have enough energy to do my work. If you want to do more, you can volunteer, donate, and boost the voices of local community leaders working to protect and restore the local ecosystems, but don't feel bad if you can't. We are all in this together.

[sesamenom]

Quick hand sketch that turned into elrond with athelas water

I always forget to draw him with it but I headcanon him having pretty bad burn scars on his right arm/side from the kinslaying

[shkika]

NSH seems to care about Moon a lot. When he found out that Pebbles is the reason that she collapsed, how do you think he reacted?

We actually do have a guess on how NSH felt towards Pebbles even before the whole incident. He and Moon were close and he does very much care for her!

Which is why he used to be kind of annoyed with Pebbles. Because FP never seemed to appreciate her efforts.

He understands how newer iterators tend to have flawed worldviews, yet to him Pebbles was stuck being like that.

I don't think NSH ever hard particularly warm feelings towards Moon's little brother if I were to be honest.

So then.. they only worsen.

I think this says... quite a lot! His words aren't outright hateful, but they do make it clear he genuinely hopes once Pebbles' head finally clears, he suffers the consequences of his actions.

Iirc I hope I'm not wrong his dialogue with Suns show that his worries regarding Moon's conditions, not really mentioning all that much about Pebbles' rot. He even goes out to say Suns should have sent the messenger to her. Not him.

As a little addition.. I'd like to think NSH looked very.. bitterly through old messages between him and Moon about her troubles with Five Pebbles.

Like he wishes he could be surprised.

[vitalitypopkat]

Occasionally I think about how in TWEWY, Beat and Rhyme have a memorial for their accident put there by people who knew them.

And Shiki has people (or at least Eri that we see) clearly mourning her death.

But Neku has...nothing. No memorial. No people thinking about this 14 yo kid that got shot and died quietly alone in a back alley with no one to help him. It was just cleaned up and nothing is left to show that he was even there.

I understand it's likely this way to help with the plot twist(s) but it really does hammer home how Neku really had no one before the start of twewy.

At least he has people that remember him later...

[fivekrystalpetals]

I find it really funny that Dazai has, if my memory serves me right, has swore only two times in the whole manga (he seldom swears even at his enemies, he an annoyingly polite boy) and both times coz of Fyodor... like this man made Dazai-annoy-everyone-around-me-to-death-Osamu go WTF at his antics

I bet if Fyodor drops his mask of the perfectly-in-control mastermind and let loose, he's gonna be weirder than Dazai + Gogol combined. Sigma hasn't seen the worst of this gang yet...

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Was thinking about your au and realized that whichever neighbour wakes up last is in for a very awkward reunion

Imagine waking up to your entire neighbourhood being in an apocalyptic scenario, and you’re the last to find out about it-

technically the last neighbor is Sally BUT Julie is the last "normal-sleeping" neighbor to wake and yeah! she sure has a hell of a time! i mean tbh it's kinda her And Barnaby? they wake up within a week of each other (the neighbors wake via Pacific Rim kaiju rules) so their breakdowns overlap <3

[thesmpisonfire]

"ooooh Forever doesn't understand true despair its why he said Bolas have a complex" have you even seen a single green gay ninjas stream?

[almond-tofu-chan]

shoutout to Yoo Mia and Lee Seolwha, both extremely important characters (literally yjh’s sister and ex-wife) who never get to do anything, they’re deadass two of my fave characters

[chungledown-bimothy]

"the justification machine goes into effect"

that stopped me dead in my tracks. especially after "i wanted the dice to tell me it's okay not to know" and how often i think about the thing aabria said about finding the lie a character believes.

uighhhhh i love suvi so fucking much. the way aabria describes what's going on in her head... god i FEEL suvi. in my bones, i understand what and how and why and it's complicated and messy and absolutely beautiful i am chewing on her and cannot articulate 99% of my thoughts and feelings about her

[pierregaslays]

:(

[calware]

i'm thinking about vriska

[the---hermit]

A lovely festive card from a friend and random notes.

19|12|2023

I am back after being very ill again. This time I got the flu, and to make things worse my panic disorder kicked me once again and it was bad. I am starting to feel a bit better now, but I am still very weak and my stomach isn't at its best yet. I spent a couple of hellish days, and decided to skip class this week. I confident I will be fully recovered for Friday when I'll have to speak in the seminar, but until that day I am not leaving my house and I am taking things slowly. This of course means that my nice study plan is totally fucked. I am so beyond schedul and I am not in shape to get caught with it, so I will simply have to sit down and make a whole other plan. I am starting to slowly getting back into doing some work during the day, but I have not enough mental energy to power through the book I have to study. So this week I will try to stay productive as much as I can but minding what my body allows me to do. I will study less hours during the day, do lighter stuff, and stop whenever I feel like I need to lie down, or move around depending on what my body is asking me. This morning for example I got about an hourish of work done, I was very happy with myself but then I simply had to accept that I needed to lie down, and I did so. I am fighting with the guilt of not sticking to plans and feeling overwhelmed with everything I have to do, and I am trying my best. The other thing I am struggling with at the moment is food, not in a concerning way, but more in the sense that right now I feel like I lost the joy of eating and having a good meal and that is impacting my mood so bad. First a couple of weeks ago I went to the dentist and struggled so much with pain in my mouth for a while, and now due to my stomach being affected by the flu, eating has just become something I have to do and I despise feeling like this. I want to sit at my table and be happy about what I am going to eat, I want to look forward to my meals and I have yet to figure out how to get back there. Maybe I just have a bit of a scare since in the past two or three years I often had my anxiety and panic symptoms strongly linked to my stomach and I am now scared that I'll get back into that stupid place in which eating was anxiety inducing for me. I just hope that will get better soon and that I will be able to enjoy the amazing food my family will make during the holidays.

calm hobbit winter activities and productivity:

read first thing in the morning (I managed to read ten pages which is such a big win after these awful days)

wrote notes for the second chapeter of Nature, Human Nature and Human Difference by Justin Smith

updated my reading journal

started watching cabinet of curiosities (in the past few years I have been terrible at watching new series, but this morning when I had to lie down after studying I felt like watching something new could be a good way to keep my brain a bit active. I watched the first two episodes and loved the first one. The second one fell very flat for me but I am exctied to see more of it, it definitely has the gothic horror vibes I adore)

started reviewing my men theories and power practices notes and added a few additional informations here and there

practiced my presentation for Friday

📖: Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree

[uncanny-tranny]

I think the thing that makes masking disability very complex is that often, masking is done to protect one's self, but you still don't know exactly how you'll be perceived by other people, and if you're safe in the ways you want to be. Something I've learned more and more is that... you often can't "fully mask" in the sense that there are certain blindspots you may miss. My flat, monotonous affect stems from autism, and while I can (and do) mask other traits, I can never mask that trait. But, the thing is that I don't detect that I am monotonous, and I only learned that because other people perceived me that way and actually told me. That's what I mean by masking only goes so far, often.