#imo he and pebbles were never all that close

[shkika]

NSH seems to care about Moon a lot. When he found out that Pebbles is the reason that she collapsed, how do you think he reacted?

We actually do have a guess on how NSH felt towards Pebbles even before the whole incident. He and Moon were close and he does very much care for her!

Which is why he used to be kind of annoyed with Pebbles. Because FP never seemed to appreciate her efforts.

He understands how newer iterators tend to have flawed worldviews, yet to him Pebbles was stuck being like that.

I don't think NSH ever hard particularly warm feelings towards Moon's little brother if I were to be honest.

So then.. they only worsen.

I think this says... quite a lot! His words aren't outright hateful, but they do make it clear he genuinely hopes once Pebbles' head finally clears, he suffers the consequences of his actions.

Iirc I hope I'm not wrong his dialogue with Suns show that his worries regarding Moon's conditions, not really mentioning all that much about Pebbles' rot. He even goes out to say Suns should have sent the messenger to her. Not him.

As a little addition.. I'd like to think NSH looked very.. bitterly through old messages between him and Moon about her troubles with Five Pebbles.

Like he wishes he could be surprised.

[dtrghost]

closeness and proximity

Side note: This is my first ever tumblr fic, so uh, be gentle!! moving on!

pairing: ghost x f!reader

synopsis: callsign is sunshine, because you're anything but. team 141 thought ghost was bad? at least they could crack a smile out of the guy from time to time, you? you were stone faced, all day, every day. until one day you're not, not with a certain someone anyway.

warnings: inaccurate military language and sequences, violence, angst, descriptions of interrogation and torture, INTENSE gore (imo), cursing, allusions to mental illness (reader has sociopathic tendencies) you get the gist. If you have a weak stomach or faint heart, please do not read this, like please.

I'd also like to start this off by saying that the mc is not a good person, and that is on purpose. I've seen a lot of the angel fics where ghost falls for his antithesis, so I decided to try something new. So here, please forgive any mistakes.

if this does become a series there will most likely be smut because,,, yes.

(update it's becoming a series so if someone wants to be tagged for that lmk cause i have so many ideas for this)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Word count: 3.4k

"Sunshine how copy?" Ghost's gruff, static filled voice called through coms, scope checking the parameters of the building she found herself held up in. She didn't respond at first, busy fighting for her life in a basement underneath the building they weren't aware of.

The deeper she went the harder it was to understand what was being relayed to her, so she settled on doing it on her own. He listened to a man grunt, their body dropping to the floor under her boot as she took a deep breath.

"There's a basement underground, coms are cutting out. I'm taking charge on clearing the basement. I'll report when I get to the surface. Sunshine out." She loathed her callsign with a passion. To speak it caused a burning hatred to spark in the lowest depths of her heart and made her cringe horribly. However, she knew it was better than letting everyone know her real name, so she dealt with it.

Ghost sighed, knowing she couldn't be stopped once she started. She had been on a few missions together in the past few years, he knew she was uptight and lacked the emotional capacity to make friends with others. It made him wonder why, what could've been that bad to freeze her heart over and shrink it to the size of the pebble he was crushing under his foot as he shifted uncomfortably. People would try and try to thaw her out, yet always failed.

He waited, taking out strays that attempted to heed the possible rescue requests that came from that basement, and patiently waited.

"This is Sunshine, basement cleared. Might wanna come take a look at this." His eyebrows furrowed, affirming the request and making his way down quickly, not wanting to stay in the open for too long. He made his way to the basement, eyes widening at the various bodies that trailed to wherever she was down there.

Had she done this all by herself?

He followed the bodies all the way to her, lights flickering, casting a bland white light on the concrete walls. seeing her digging through an opened trunk in a room filled with them.

"Weapons. American." Sunshine reported, glancing at him as he took his place next to her, seeing the American flag painted onto the inside of the lid. She turned at the sound of a groan, a soldier she left alive rousing to consciousness.

"Fuckin' hell. This mission was to take out ultranationalists." Ghost sighed. She didn't respond, the task force member watching her turn on her heel and grab the soldier by vest, throwing him against the wall with impressive strength. Blood flowed out of the back of his head, smearing against the wall as he slowly slid to the floor. He had never seen her in interrogation, but he had heard from those who have.

Brutal, heartless, some had to exit the room.

He wouldn't. He's witnessed plenty of torture tactics, even had to rely on some himself to get information necessary for national security. But this is another reason why they called her 'Sunshine', because to others she didn't feel remorse for what she did, some said she enjoyed it even, that her eyes brightened like the sun peaking over the horizon. Whether that was true or not he'd figure out now, as eager as he was. He watched her take out her knife, flipping it in her hand as she crouched to the soldier's level.

"Where'd they come from." She asked simply, keeping an even tone that surprised Ghost. He expected something more fierce, intimidating, but it was as if she was starting a conversation with a normal person. The victim attempted to spit in her face, but with a quick turn on the head it landed on the floor behind her. Her knife dug itself into his foot, his cries of pain echoing in the basement as she twisted it. The sounds of his bones cracking made Ghost shiver.

"Where'd they come from. Who sold them to you." She persisted, her face void of all emotion as she ripped the blade out of his foot. She sighed, turning to ghost who stood in the back, surveying the action. His eyebrows furrowed as she pointed to the door with her knife.

"Wait outside. This might take awhile." At first he didn't move, but the hint of impatience in her eyes spooked him out, for reasons unknown to him, but instinct told him to listen. So he slowly retreated and stood watch outside for anyone either getting up or rushing down the stairs. Y/N turned back to her victim, seeing two loops with chains hanging off of them imbedded into the wall. She tied his arms up, leaving his body sagging down.

Ghost listened to her repeat her questions, and when she didn't get an answer, a shout would follow. But those shouts turned to ear-piercing screams very quickly. He listened to pleads and begs of mercy to understand him, that he couldn't say anything out fear to what they'd do to him.

"Imagine what I'll do next if I don't get the response I want." She'd respond.

The bones cracking, the retch of vomiting, blood splattering onto the cold concrete.

"If you think you can outlast me, that I'll get tired of this and stop for the night to let you regain some of your humanity, you're wrong. Because unfortunately for you sweetheart." The blade tore through his skin, another bellow of pain emerging from his throat as he squirmed in his place. They were both coated in blood, her eyes dull and her ears tuning out the noise. To her, it was as if he was silent, his screams didn't penetrate through to her, and talked and talked until it drove him mad.

"I don't have all night, and I'm getting impatient. You won't die, I wouldn't allow that. I went through med school, graduated top of my class with a doctorate in Neuroscience. I know how to break." Which was evident as his leg was broken and facing different directions from the knee down to his toes.

"And I know how to fix. I'll keep you alive a lot longer than the night, and I'll do a lot worse. So if you want this to end, start talking, or you're in for a long week." Simon wondered what she was doing. His mind went over the possibilities until her victim finally cracked after the final scream he unleashed into the empty basement. He detailed a secret arms trade between an ally of the United States' and another country, which would lead to the likeliness of intentions for them.

War.

Y/N huffed, ripping off a piece of the soldiers shirt that wasn't soaked in sweat, blood, or vomit, which was a very small one, and wiping her hands clean as best as she could.

"Could've said that 10 minutes ago. Now, you'll bleed out within the next 5. Shame." Ghost listened to his anguished sobs as footsteps approached him, turning around from the entrance to see her, covered in blood. His eyes widened slightly, noticing a piece of...

Her eyes followed his to her vest, noticing a very small piece of flesh sitting between her shirt and gear before flicking it off to the side.

"Hopefully he didn't have HIV." She joked, but there was no humor in her voice, no sign of her finding it funny at all, as if she said it to just say it. Ghost didn't respond, he wasn't sure how. He slowly moved to look inside the room, the curiosity of what she did to the soldier eating him alive, until she grabbed his roughly.

"Don't." The word sent shivers down his spine, and he knew better than the disobey as she had operational command authority, and would likely court martial him if he had. So he took a step back and maintained eye contact, radioing in to Price.

"Captain, this is Ghost. How copy." He called, his gruff voice bringing a smile to her lips that he couldn't see due to her mask which was just a boring black one, decorated with blotches of drying blood that lightened up enough to see. "This is Price."

"We found weapons and gear, they're American." He went onto explain the situation, being weary of his mission leader walking around him in circles, waiting impatiently as he reported their findings.

"Copy that. I'll transfer this to Lanswell. Good work, report back to base for debrief."

"Copy, Ghost out." He connected his radio back to his vest. She took out her pistol, leading him to pull out his own. The behavior she exhibited was one he hadn't seen often, and it led to a deep mistrust he couldn't shake. She smirked, turning around, walking back in the room, and confirming her kill with a bullet between the eyes before reappearing in front of him.

He looked at her suspiciously as she gestured to the stairs, wondering who trained her, who made her into what she is now. She wasn't normal, not like the rest of them, she had no signs of remorse, care, or empathy for the people she killed, and she killed them with ease. Over 30 soldiers in one cramped basement and she came out unscathed, in tip top shape. He followed her out and made it to the landing zone where a helicopter came to pick them up.

She was silent the whole way back, Price being there to greet the two before they sat through debrief.

"Sunshine, we have orders from headquarters to have you join Task Force 141. Ghost is to watch over you. An official introduction will be made tomorrow." Price announced, not missing the tightened grip of Ghost's fist on the table.

"Copy that captain." She responded in her usual tone, only fueling Ghost's anger as he turned to glare at her, though she only ignored him, keeping her gaze unwavering on Price.

"Hit the showers soldier." Price dismissed, Y/N being the first to leave. But before she did, she turned to look down at her new partner.

"Happy to be on the team, Mr. Riley." It took his everything to not jump to his feet and knock her out, holding his breath to calm himself down as she walked away, the door shutting behind her. He hated that she had power over him, and worse that she rubbed it in his face.

"There's no chance in hell I'll stand for her being on my team." He immediately threw at him, standing up in his seat with his finger pressing firmly on the table in front of him.

"First, it's my team. Second, It's not my choice, orders are orders." Ghost growled lowly, clearly upset over the lack of fighting to keep her off, to keep her away to those he held near and dear to his heart, even if that wasn't too close to begin with. He saw her as a danger, an immediate threat, someone who belonged in an institution before they saw the battlefield.

"Then send an appeal. She's a war criminal. Tell em that!" He snapped.

"Bloody hell we're all war criminals. Then we'll be stuck in prison with her and you'll complain some more." Price groaned, rubbing his forehead, clearly irritated by his soldier's insistence.

"Not like that. Not how she is. She'll kill one of us before we get the next mission, hell she parade around our bodies like a joker and hail-" Price's hand slammed on the table, cutting his lieutenant off.

"Quiet." Ghost went silent, sighing deeply as he waited for Price to gather the right words, to somehow ease his mistrust in her, though he doubted she could do that. He watched as he shut the door and locked it, keeping his voice hushed, standing closer to his comrade.

"This is classified information, what I say stays in this room and is to never be discussed with anyone else. Is that understood lieutenant." Ghost's eyes widened for a moment before nodding in affirmation, waiting for his captain to continue.

"She- she wasn't brought up normally. As a great many soldiers weren't, hence why many of them join the ranks in the first place. She was a prodigy, she became a seal at 17, and on her second mission she was set up, deserted, and kidnapped. Nobody knows what happened to her in there, a search team was sent out, but she wasn't found til a few months later, and when she came out after she was different."

She was a child.

That's all Ghost could thing about. God knows what happened to her in there, and he didn't want to think about it.

"She exhibited sociopathic tendencies, she was closed off, didn't speak for a very long time. She failed psychological evaluation requirements, depression, ptsd, ecetera. Even then they sent her back out on missions a couple months later." Simon's eyes blew open, Price nodding glumly.

"Missions? Fuckin' hell, she needs help not special ops." He sneered, not at Price, but his anger was seeping through at rates he couldn't control. He was angry, how could they do that to someone? Did they not care, not even a little bit for her life? Her wellbeing?

"I know. But they're not taking her out any time soon, and now that she's on our team the least we can do is try to help her. I knew her before she became this. She was a kind soul." His voice dropped to a whisper, as if reminiscing, and he was. Her bright eyes, so full of potential when they met for her first mission, how she wheezed when she laughed. She was a kid, and it hurt his heart thinking about what she turned into over the last 6 years. Ghost nodded, silently agreeing to his motives before Price simply waved him off.

Simon hit the showers, scrubbing off the dirt and gunpowder that clung to his skin, watching the water turn black as the face paint drizzled down into it. The captain's words ran through his head over and over, the words going in one ear, through his brain, and out the other in a constant circle. He knew firsthand how corrupt his line of work could be, but that didn't make him any less angry when it revealed itself to him in the ways it did.

When he exited, fully dried and clothed with his mask back on, he passed by Y/N's room, noticing the light peaking out from underneath the door. He sighed quietly, his hand coming up and knocking on the door.

"It's open." Her cold voice responded, though it sounded more distant than before. He twisted the knob and let the door open, seeing her laying on her cot in deep thought. He went to question her, until he realized that she probably listened in on their conversation.

"You were listening." She nodded once, curtly and formally before sitting up and turning to look at him. Her eyes narrowed for a moment, analyzing every aspect about him. He felt like he was being stripped naked just by her look, his soul bare for her to look into.

Her eyes drifted over his exposed arms, the sleeveless tank he wore leaving them on display. He was a big guy, his arms were veined and muscled, tattoos filling up a majority of the space, combined with scars that passed through some of them. The top he wore was a bit tight, outline his chest in an attractive way, but she forced her eyes away, knowing he already caught onto what she was staring at.

"Price is right. I wasn't always like this. And I think he was the only one to notice, or at least point it out." She began, drawing attention away from the fact she just checked him out shamelessly.

"Wasn't right, what happened to you." He replied stiffly. She snickered, standing up. He watched her pace the room, twisting a knife in her hands, causing him to tense. She noticed.

"I'm not going to stab you lieutenant." She reassured, though it didn't help at all as she went on. She wasn't sure what she felt, confused for sure, as to why she was unable to emotionally process her emotions or evaluate the information she heard, as if her mind was barring her from contextualizing her state of mind. She knew she wasn't normal, but she couldn't bring herself to accept it and label herself.

"I was 17 when I was taken, you know that. Had a rough upbringing, I won't explain that to you now." She wasn't sure where she was going with this, and neither was he, but he'd listen for a bit to try and understand her more, maybe to trust her more now that she was his teammate. "I can feel emotion you know. Only to a certain degree, I can empathize. Fleeting, but it's there sometimes. I do feel some remorse, but you know how we are in this field. Weakness will get you killed, so you internalize it, you keep it buried underneath everything else, and because my everything else was stripped away with me, it just sits in here." She tapped her temple and shrugged. He understood what she meant, he did that too. He withheld his shame, his guilt, and his remorse, remaining a stone cold figure in the field. He saved the emotional crap for his time alone where he could deal with it in the way he knew how.

"You just let it sit there then?" He pressed, crossing his arms over his chest. She nodded.

"Don't know what to do with it. Lost my sense of self and all I know is this job. I do try though, I try to force some tears like I've seen others do, but the only time these.. feelings present themselves is on my missions, which is why everyone thinks I enjoy it. But I don't, for the record, I just can't control it like you guys do. And I envy you for that." His eyes widened slightly.

"Envy, huh."

"Mhm. You can talk to each other, find common ground and relate, make friends and connections. I can't because I don't feel like you guys do. And then you demonize me and outcast me more than I already am, so. Oops." He thought she was getting upset, but she wasn't, there was not a hint of anger or sadness or negative emotion in her person whatsoever, none that he could see anyway. Her arms were loose and carefree as she swung them around every time she turned her heel to pace back in the direction she just walked in.

"We can help you." Her first sign of feeling was an eye roll with a steady irritated gaze. But she didn't say anything. The idea of needing help repulsed her beyond anything else, made her want to punch a wall and scream, her eyes widened. Anger. There it is, outside of a mission too. She hummed, looking back at him.

"Alright Casper." He grunted, displeased by the new nickname which made her smile widen cheekily. She searched his eyes for a moment, finding entertainment in the small flames in his amber eyes, how they flickered and danced when he found something humorous, how they died out when he found something unamusing or boring, how they raged when he grew angry or determined to finish something with a newfound passion.

She liked to think he had that burn in his eyes when Price spoke to him about the notion of helping her, hoping that he'd care that much even if she didn't want the help, or perhaps she did, that would explain the want would it not? That was a thought for later. For now she'd do her job the way she knew how, she wouldn't change, not yet, not that she knew how anyway.

"We're going out for a drink tomorrow night, care to tag along." He offered, jousting his chin up at her in a heads up manner.

"I don't drink." She replied, monotone as she laid down on her cot, shutting her eyes with a sigh. He watched her body sink into the bed, all stress and tension releasing, and he took that as his dismissal. He shut the door behind him, releasing a breath and walking back to his room, confused and tired where he slept on the day's events.

Though he was curious on how tomorrow would turn out.

And that's it! If you want a series out of this let me know!! It's my first fic and I'll probably binge a bunch because I feel like writing. I'm still trying to figure out the whole border thing I wanna make everything aesthetic or whatever but yeah.

See you guys next time!!

[lunarfly]

Harmione Essay: Physical contact — a changing pattern (by Turambar)

Hello! This is an essay written many years ago, before the release of HBP&DH. It doesn't belong to me so credits to the original writer(Turambar)! It was written on the CoS forum, I'm not sure if it's still saved there but I have a word document with all of the essays. Anyways, this essay has no ship/character bashing. Again, this essay isn't written by me. Enjoy!

The evolution of this pattern of physical contact between Harry and Hermione is very interesting.

PS to POA:

1) If we look at the very scene where the trio become friends, a curious aspect of this pattern rears its head: Harry is physically decisive, Harry and Hermione have physical contact in a time of crisis and Ron is to one side looking on. "Harry yelled at Hermione, trying to pull her towards the door."

2) At the end of the book she initiates the hug and he feels very embarrassed since displays of physical affection are totally foreign to him. "Hermione's lip trembled and she suddenly dashed at Harry and threw her arms around him. 'Hermione!' 'Harry - you're a great wizard you know.' 'I'm not as good as you,' said Harry, very embarrassed as she let go of him." Then there's the nice moment in the hospital wing when he realizes she wants to hug him again but is glad she holds herself in because his head's hurting.

3) In POA, having previously seen Harry jump on a troll for her and wrestle Millicent Bulstrode off her - both while Ron is present - Hermione turns to Harry for emotional support through a physical gesture, grabbing his arm when the trio see that the Fat Lady has been slashed (by Sirius). "Harry, Ron and Hermione moved closer to see what the trouble was. 'Oh my -' Hermione exclaimed and grabbed Harry's arm." Again Ron is present but Hermione turns to Harry.

4) The Shrieking Shack/Time Turner scenes, when they are nearer their 14th birthdays than their 13th ones, are where the pattern accelerates and becomes noticeable.

It is mostly Hermione initiating contact. Harry is accepting of this contact and only indicates she should let go of his arm at one point when her grip causes him to lose feeling in his fingers.

Shrieking Shack:

"She now grasped Harry's arm painfully hard"

"Hermione suddenly grabbed Harry's arm again."

"Hermione's grip on Harry's arm was so tight he was losing feeling in his fingers. He raised his eyebrows at her; she nodded and let go."

Time Turner:

"In here!' Hermione seized Harry's arm and dragged him across the hall to the door of a broom cupboard, she opened it and pushed him inside."

"Hermione nudged him and pointed towards the castle."

"Hermione was holding Harry very tightly around the waist."

"Peeves!" Harry muttered, grabbing Hermione's wrist. "In here."

5) So to summarize:

a) Up to this point, apart from a couple of occasions where Harry has grabbed Hermione, the contact between them has been initiated by Hermione.

b) It has occurred at times of crisis/stress and generally involved Hermione seeking support, reassurance and protection from Harry.

c) Apart from the hug and flying on Buckbeak it has involved arm contact.

d) Despite embarrassment over the hug - understandable since it's presumably his first since he was a baby - Harry is still mature enough to pay a compliment - 'I'm not as good as you'. But he's comfortable with the contact, he doesn't question it and his indication to Hermione to release his arm is not a rejection of her: she has no qualms about grabbing him again.

GOF:

6) Here we see a change in the pattern to Hermione initiating contact in moments of fun/joy/excitement/relief.

Veela:

"She reached up and pulled Harry back into his seat."

"Hermione was soon tugging on Harry's arm. He turned to look at her, and she pulled his fingers impatiently out of his ears. 'Look at the referee!' she said giggling."

First task:

"Then before either of them could stop her, she had given both of them a hug."

Dobby:

"Harry!' she panted, skidding to a halt beside him (the Fat Lady stared down at her, eyebrows raised). She seized Harry's arm and started to try and drag him back along the corridor."

"Oh come on Harry, I want to show you!' she seized his arm again, pulled him in front of the picture... and pushed Harry hard in the back, forcing him inside."

Hexes:

"...catching up with Harry and Ron in the Entrance Hall and pulling Harry's hand away from one of his wriggling ears so that he could hear her."

The end:

"'Bye, Harry!' said Hermione, and she did something she had never done before, and kissed him on the cheek."

7) Things to note about this:

a) IMO it reflects Hermione's growing self confidence which is very evident in OOTP

b) Hermione appears to have an increasing wish for physical contact with Harry. For instance is it really necessary for her to touch his hands and pull them away from his ears (twice) to gain his attention. Wouldn't a tap on the shoulder have sufficed? And isn't hand to hand contact quite a lot more intimate than tapping someone on the shoulder?

c) Harry only initiates physical contact once, during the Dark Mark chapter: "He [Harry] seized the other two and pulled them down onto the ground." There is no description of how he reacts to the joint hug Hermione gives himself and Ron.

d) This pattern coincides with a growing mental closeness between Harry and Hermione: a lot of instances of them knowing what each other is thinking and also of Harry becoming more interested in what Hermione is thinking. It also coincides with Harry becoming more reliant on Hermione: needing her friendship when he has his falling out with Ron and her knowledge and skill to help him get through the tournament.

OOTP:

Now we finally come to the most interesting part of this whole pattern. It has changed again.

Harry's feelings towards Hermione are in transition and that flows through into a river of confused thoughts, emotions and actions about various subjects.

Just in the welcome scene, for instance, there are phrases such as: "found that he was not sorry" "the words tumbling over one another in a rush" 'but before he knew it, Harry was shouting" "every ... thought ... was pouring out of him" that help to show he's not on top of things.

8) The hug

"Followed by an even louder shriek, and his vision was completely obscured by a large quantity of very bushy hair. Hermione had thrown herself on him in a hug that nearly knocked him flat, while Ron's tiny owl, Pigwidgeon, zoomed excitedly round and round their heads.

"HARRY! Ron, he's here, Harry's here! We didn't hear you arrive! Oh, how are you! Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless - but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you, and you've got things to tell us - the Dementors! When we heard - and that Ministry hearing - it's just outrageous. I've looked it all up, they can't expel you, they just can't, there's provision in the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of underage Sorcery for use of magic in life threatening situations -"

"Let him breathe, Hermione," said Ron. (Harry gives description of Ron)Still beaming, Hermione let go of Harry."

a) When compared with the pattern of the previous books this has to be the most intense and sheerly physical sign of affection and joy Hermione has ever lavished on Harry. Compare it to their first hug in PS: that was a moving embrace, this is almost a rugby tackle.

b) Neither Harry nor Hermione want to let go. Harry doesn't make any move to. Hermione only lets go after Ron intervenes.

c) For the first time, we are told how Harry feels: a "warm glow that had flared inside him". This feeling incorporates seeing both friends, but it starts when Hermione hugs him, as I've explained previously.

9) Snape's class:

"Salamander blood, Harry!" Hermione moaned, grabbing his wrist to prevent him adding the wrong ingredient."

Hagrid's cabin:

"Get under here!" Harry said quickly; seizing the Invisibility Cloak, he whirled it over himself and Hermione while Ron tore around the table and dived under the cloak as well ... Hermione gasped; Harry clapped a hand over her mouth ... Harry made to pull off the Invisibility Cloak but Hermione seized his wrist. "Not yet," she breathed in his ear. She might not be gone yet."

Quidditch:

"As they rose from the table, Hermione got up too, and taking Harry's arm she drew him to one side."

Grawp:

"Hermione walked right into him and was knocked over backwards. Harry caught her just before she hit the forest floor ... "Good!" said Hermione, as Harry set her back on her feet."

"Grawp's hand had shot out of nowhere towards Hermione; Harry seized her and pulled her backwards behind the tree, so that Grawp's fist scraped the trunk but closed on thin air.

"Bad boy Grawpy!" they heard Hagrid yelling, as Hermione clung to Harry behind the tree, shaking and whimpering."

Out of the Fire:

"Get over here," muttered Hermione, tugging at Harry's wrist and pulling him back into a recess."

"Harry grabbed Hermione and pulled her to the ground."

"Hermione had been dropped, too, and Harry hurried towards her."

"Hermione gripped his arm tightly."

"Harry could feel Hermione shaking as Grawp opened his mouth wide again and said in a deep, rumbling voice, 'Hermy.' 'Goodness,' said Hermione, gripping Harry's arm so tightly it was growing numb."

"One of the giant's massive hands reached down. Hermione let out a real scream, ran a few steps backwards and fell over. Devoid of a wand, Harry braced himself to punch, kick, bite or whatever else it took as the hand swooped towards him."

"Pebble-sized droplets of Grawp's blood showered Harry as he pulled Hermione to her feet and the pair of them ran as fast as they could."

"Harry and Hermione moved together instinctively and peered through the trees."

The Department of Mysteries:

"The circular wall was rotating. Hermione grabbed Harry's arm as though frightened the floor might move too, but it did not."

"She grabbed his arm and pulled, but he resisted."

"He seized a handful of Hermione's robes and dragged her forwards."

"Harry raised his wand but to his amazement Hermione seized his arm."

10) The major change to the pattern from all the other books is that Harry is a far more active participant.

Instead of being the more passive rock that Hermione clings on to, he is much more forcibly protecting her. He reacts very instinctively and decisively.

From being mostly one-sided in the sense that Hermione was doing most of the grabbing, it is now much more even. There's more full-on contact rather than just arm grabbing.

If we compare Harry's actions in the forest scenes of OOTP with the Shrieking Shack/Time Turner scenes he is far more protective and physical with Hermione than before. In POA they were facing the Whomping Willow, a werewolf and dementors, in OOTP a giant and centaurs.

The way Harry shapes up to Grawp without a wand shows almost a desperation to protect Hermione. When his arm starts to go numb in OOTP, same as it did in POA, this time he doesn't ask her to let go.

11) Overall this changing pattern reflects the changing nature of Harry and Hermione's relationship:

Hermione has been the one to develop and realize her feelings for Harry but now Harry is catching up just as Hermione for a while was the dominant participant in the pattern but it has evened with Harry's full involvement.

[alicenttully]

Lmao I saw that post of Sansa being too classist for Westerosi standards. Infact in that thread, Idk whether it was the same user or not they also said that AGOT Sansa even makes Theon look like a saint 😂.

I agree with you all characters in ASOIAF are classist to varying degrees even smallfolk POV like Davos have internalised it to some extent.

LOL, that’s so funny. Honestly, the OP was clearly letting off some steam and wasn’t thinking about everything they were writing.  Like, there’s a reason why you keep your diaries private - because sometimes you’ll write in them when you’re mad, and you’ll say really stupid things.  So I’m going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that if they could reevaluate -  they honestly won’t think that AGOT Sansa is worse than ACOK Theon who,

- Raped Kyra

- Was complicit in the murder of two smallfolk children

- Treated the Capitan’s Daughter dismally; not bothering to learn her name, using his position to take advantage of her sexually, and making light of the fact that her father is going to punish her for sleeping with him.

-  His limp body was being dragged from the surf when Theon returned to his Sea Bitch. The masts of his longships stood outlined against the sky along the pebbled beach. Of the fishing village, nothing remained but cold ashes that stank when it rained. The men had been put to the sword, all but a handful that Theon had allowed to flee to bring the word to Torrhen's Square. Their wives and daughters had been claimed for salt wives, those who were young enough and fair. The crones and the ugly ones had simply been raped and killed, or taken for thralls if they had useful skills and did not seem likely to cause trouble.

Like, Theon is a great character and Alfie Allen’s portrayal of him is tremendous - but he did some pretty messed up shit! Now, whenever or not he is capable of redemption is another question. I mean, rape and murder are pretty unforgivable and the only people who could forgive Theon for that, are dead.  This is what makes Theon’s Dance arc so compelling amongst all the horror and despair. Theon can never erase the worst things he ever did, but his rescue of Jeyne Poole shows that he can do some good by putting someone else first. 

And getting back to Sansa.... honestly, how is Sansa too classist “even for Westeros” when she’s been a hostage and then masquerading as a bastard girl, and thus without the power of people like Tywin, Tyrion, and Tyrells? I’m sorry, but Sansa wasn’t the one who demanded that a woman be stripped naked and made to walk the streets because she wore her mother’s jewels.  Would Sansa be angry at her father’s mistress wearing something that belonged to her mother? Yes, of course, she would- all the Starklings would; Arya IMO would take it particularly badly.  But both Sansa and her siblings lack the sadism that drove Tywin to this; to assert his power over someone with none.

I can do this because I am the Lord of Casterly Rock, and you are nothing but a lowborn woman who was simply lucky enough to catch my foolish father’s eye.

Tyrion resents the smallfolk because they don’t consider him a hero. Some of his resentment is justifiable because a lot of it is the consequences of ableism, but at the same time though - the smallfolk are the ones suffering because of the war. In contrast, Sansa was almost raped by some smallfolk men but we never see her hating them for it. At 12-14, she’s able to understand the desperation caused by the famine. 

In both the book and show Sansa says if she had bread, she would have given it. Essentially, if she could help she would.  This brings me to the Tyrells. So, the Tyrells closed the Rose Road while they were still allied with Renly, thus leading to the famine in KL. To give you a reminder of how bad it got-

What little produce he did see was three times as costly as it had been a year ago. One peddler was hawking rats roasted on a skewer. "Fresh rats," he cried loudly, "fresh rats." Doubtless fresh rats were to be preferred to old stale rotten rats. The frightening thing was, the rats looked more appetizing than most of what the butchers were selling. On the Street of Flour, Tyrion saw guards at every other shop door. When times grew lean, even bakers found sellswords cheaper than bread, he reflected.

Afterwards, when the Tyrells and Lannisters decide to hook up, the Rose Road is opened up and wagons of food is sent up in Margaery’s name. If there’s one thing the Tyrells are good at, it’s PR.  It undoubtedly makes them look like heroes, as Sansa and Tyrion both observe-

Sansa had watched from the castle walls as Margaery Tyrell and her escort made their way up Aegon's High Hill. Joffrey had met his new bride-to-be at the King's Gate to welcome her to the city, and they rode side by side through cheering crowds, Joff glittering in gilded armor and the Tyrell girl splendid in green with a cloak of autumn flowers blowing from her shoulders. She was sixteen, brown-haired and brown-eyed, slender and beautiful. The people called out her name as she passed, held up their children for her blessing, and scattered flowers under the hooves of her horse. Her mother and grandmother followed close behind, riding in a tall wheelhouse whose sides were carved into the shape of a hundred twining roses, every one gilded and shining. The smallfolk cheered them as well.The same smallfolk who pulled me from my horse and would have killed me, if not for the Hound.

"No. She's coming, though, and the city's mad with love for her. The Tyrells have been carting food up from Highgarden and giving it away in her name. Hundreds of wayns each day. There's thousands of Tyrell men swaggering about with little golden roses sewn on their doublets, and not a one is buying his own wine. Wife, widow, or whore, the women are all giving up their virtue to every peach-fuzz boy with a gold rose on his teat."They spit on me, and buy drinks for the Tyrells.

The thing is I personally can’t imagine having the audacity to present myself as some kind of hero to someone because I gave them food, knowing full well I was the reason were starving in the first place.

[pinksparklelps]

Bluefur and gray wing time

Spoilers for dawn of the clans and bluestars prophecy.

Bluefur

Shes gone thru a lot throughout her super edition and into the wild

She lost her mother very early into her life which would greatly impact anyone. She closes herself off and struggles to do her apprenticeship, even internally berating snowpaw for moving on. Its not nice, but shes young and is blinded by grief that shouldnt be on anyone at such a young age. Sunfall goes about it correctly imo. Telling her moonflower will always be with her and that she needs to help the clan without yelling at her to “cut it out”.

Shes correct to not trust thistleclaw. Hes arrogant and makes no attempt to change his actions. He yells at bluefur about snowfurs death when it literally couldve been anyone out on the thunderpath. It couldve been one of the shadowclan warriors, it couldve been bluefur herself.

She helped look after whitekit, snowfur later telling her it was easier to leave knowing he had her. She lost so much in her life and tried her best to make things right and ok. She has a prophecy hanging over her constantly, goosefeather making her aware of this constantly.

The prophecy also COULD allow room for kits. Tawnyspots wasnt dying for a while. She couldve raised her kits (maybe with thrushpelt if she had been told she could have kits or with oakheart if they had met earlier in the book) early on. Even if it was earlier but still ‘too late’ she couldve gotten them grown to be weaned and still be deputy. Squilf had kits WHILE being deputy so why couldnt bluefur?

Even still, without that interjection, she gave up her kits to save her clan and them from eventually being under thistleclaws rule. She even lost more through that sacrifice. Not only could she not raise her kits, she lost mosskit on the journey to sunningrocks. That mustve haunted her for her entire leadership. But it was at least eased during her lives ceremony when mosskit let her know it was okay with no hatred in her eyes.

Later on, in the first arc, she does get worse. Losing faith in starclan and her own clan. She takes it own on poor brightpaw naming her ‘lostface’. She calls her clanmates traitors. Her actions honestly have no excuse and i cant see and justification anyone could come up with.

Bluestar isnt perfect. No one is. You can like her, i DO like her. Just like for any media, you can like it while still seeing the flaws and criticizing it. You can like characters who do bad things while not condoning those bad things. I also like mapleshade!

I have a lot of feelings about bluestar and cant write them all here so onto my boy

Gray Wing

Hes amazing. I love him dearly.

Hes gone through a lot as well but doesnt let his bad experiences control his actions. He loved storm, she took clear sky as a mate, he rejected her and thunder, and gray wing took care of thunder. He never hated thunder for wanting to be with clear sky too. He took care of turtle tails kits as if they were his own. He would risk his life for her and the kits. He moved on from her because she wanted him to be happy, and gray wing knew he should and deserved to be happy too. He protected those kits with his life as well. He died happy, reassuring his kits as he died.

He loved clear sky, even when clear sky was a complete jerk to everyone. He helped starflower and clear skys kits without expecting anything. He knew it was right and went ahead and helped. Even when starflower betrayed them all earlier.

He was unintentionally smothering because he wanted thunder and jagged peak to be happy. When his faults were pointed out, he apologized and gave them the space they needed.

When pebble heart was getting visions, he comforted him, letting him know it was ok and letting pebble heart tell him about them. He tried to be a good leader for his friends when tall shadow was taking care of moon shadow. He knew he didnt want to be a leader, and wasnt ready but he tried.

Hes changed camps so many times but finally could be comfortable with wind runners cats. He was sad, but completely okay with his kits (turtlr tails) joining different groups because he wanted them to be happy as well.

Gray wing is my definition of a good cat. He took care of so many, loved those that sometimes hated him, went after jagged peak to let quiet rain know her sons were gonna be ok and rest easy while in the mountains. Hes made so many sacrifices and been through so much pain, but was able to live happily and die in peace with those who loved him.

Adoption needs to be more normalized in wc. Holly jay and lion shouldve been grateful to squilf for raising them, just as turtle tails kits were grateful to gray wing for raising and being there for them.

Gray wing is a big fav of mine

[nurseofren]

A Kiss of Spring

Relationship: reader x [insert male character here]

Words: 500

Tags: cunnilingus, pretty descriptions of spring, some metaphors

A/N: this is entirely inspired by this post and the fact that I haven't written pussy eating in nearly a year LOL. quite tame imo, just some light writing bc i felt like it. enjoy (:

There was a reverence in the way his tongue met your skin, a gentle, delicate claim with each kiss to your inner thigh. And even though his palms were rough and worn, his touch was soft as they held your hips in place, fingertips kneading into the yielding flesh.

The sky was a radiant, clear blue, the breeze a mild caress against the swaying fields of wildflowers wearing the pastels of Spring. Such beauty surrounded you but none of it compared to the way his soft hair brushed against you, all the world transcended entirely by the push of his nose rising higher and higher as he kissed and kissed and kissed his way into the cradle of your hips.

Breath sighed from your open mouth, legs opening for him, fingers settling into dark curls as his own breaths quickened. He kissed the top of your mound, nose pushing into you, inhaling you. A groan rolled from his tongue and all you could do was ease into the earthen blanket beneath and shift your hips into his open mouth.

That first stroke of his tongue shot through you, the intimacy of that closeness shivering over your skin, your nipples pebbling at once. He continued his slow, reverent pace, like he was savoring you, strong hands wandering up and smoothing over the soft curve of your belly. His fingers melded into you, soft flesh giving into his grip, the hold something sacred.

The heat of his mouth lifted for a moment, your eyes opening to inquire why he’d stopped. He looked at you, up from between your legs, the fog of his breath tickling in its gentleness, and you were almost choked by the intense emotion that resided in his eyes. Such heat, endless desire, yet it wasn’t entirely ravenous hunger; there was a sense of worship wrapped around the smolders in his expression, a vignette that didn’t dull the emotion but rather separated it from all others.

His head dipped and he went on as before, but he kept his eyes on yours. It felt like devotion, his eyes full of promise, his tongue professing vows, lips pressing praise into your body. You kept on like this, watching him with lulling eyes, lips apart, breaths quick and grating. All you could see was him, all there was... it was all him.

A hand slid from your belly and took yours, replacing the dewy earth with a warm familiar palm, and he squeezed and even he fell away then. There in the vast openness of nowhere in particular, surrounded by the delicate canvas of spring, all that remained was a pleasure you had known for a short while and the sense of something more you had only just been introduced to.

“I love you,” you thought you heard, or perhaps you said it, or maybe it was the encompassing whisper of Spring.

But even if the three words were never spoken, they were felt, they were known. There was love here, more of it than you ever thought you would know.

[blackvelvetwriteson]

Asdfhjkrmtby hi baby I'm still on my Naruto bullshit 💀💀💀 feel free to ignore this too, don't feel obligated to do this just bc I'm your partner ✨n e wayz✨ headcanons for Gaara meeting Reader-chan, and he immediately takes an interest to them, but homie doesn't know his own feelings so he thinks he wants to kill them. So they get into a brawl, and Reader-chan is able to break through his sand guard without even trying and he's just like "damn... I see you"

BABY! Ah I love getting requests from you 🥺😘 (itmakesmefeelvalidated-) Anyways, yes! I got this for you, I hope it wasn’t too short, I just don’t know his personality well enough anymore BUT I’M LEARNING AGAIN (and I want to make a part 2 because this ended on a MAJOR cliffhanger imo. I hope I didn’t disappoint you with this one 😭 And I love you my sweet little pebble 🥺✨❤️

𝐆𝐀𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍: 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

It really was just a normal day in the village- besides Naruto straying from the Hidden Leaf to hang out with Gaara.

He really didn’t know much about friendship or love or anything like that, but he knew that he wanted to kill Naruto just a LITTLE less than he wanted to anybody else.

You were there, naturally, being one of Naturo’s friends. You’d never been outside of the Hidden Leaf, being a shinobi in training.

He decided that, just this once, he’d let you out and that’d give you time for some training as well.

“It’s a different environment so you’re gonna have to regulate yourself- and we’re not allowed to damage any property!” He said in that anime protagonist tone of his.

You understood, already knowing that the Sand Village people were infinitely stronger than you were at the moment.

You both venture into the village and are greeted by Gaara who was using his sand, making shapes in the air with it, having it form into armor over certain parts of his body and then having it melt to the ground ready for its next task.

You could help but to stop and stare at Gaara even though you could only see his back and watch him, watching the total control he had over the sand.

Then he turned so you could see his face, and your eyes lit up and your jaw dropped a little.

He didn’t notice you- yet- but he noticed Naruto and he recalled all of his sand back to him and cheerfully, as cheerfully as he could be, made his way over to Naruto who greeted him with a hug.

“Naruto,” he said with a small head bow. “What… Erm… Why are you here today?”

You didn’t even realize that you weren’t breathing until you started to stumble a little and you fell into a wall nearby.

The two boys looked up at you, Gaara extra cautious because you were in his home and he heard an unfamiliar sound.

The moment his eyes locked onto yours, you gasped a little, Naruto rushing to your aid and checking you for injuries.

You could observe a small blush under his darkened eyes as he stood there with his arms crossed and his lips pursed in a straight line.

“Oh fuck he hates me,” you thought to yourself as Naruto helps you stand up and you wave a little.

Truth is, he actually doesn’t hate you. He feels SOMETHING but he doesn’t know what it is, so what does he do when he can’t figure something out?

He fights, of course.

Once you’re standing straight, you adjust your headband and jolt a little feeling Gaara’s ice cold gaze piercing you and you wince a little.

His left eye squints some and he holds his hands behind his back, his gaze only getting more intense.

There was a sort of pang that hit you before a wave of sand separated into strands, morphed into hands, and headed straight towards you at an impeccably quick pace.

“Oh shit,” you thought as you looked around and then an idea popped into your head.

You slid a kunai out of your utility belt and you hurdled it right past him.

Of course, he was a little cocky but also offended, a sadistic slight grin growing on his face. “You missed…”

Before you could answer, you made a hand sign and tried your hardest to concentrate before wincing a little “SUBSTITUTION JUTSU-“

You and the kunai had switched places and you landed on a nearby wall trying to gain high ground against him.

Of course, a fight with someone besides Naruto wasn’t what you expected, but you could feel Naruto’s expression close on you, not expecting this either.

“Hey! W-What the hell man?!” You ask, crouched as you run against the wall and lunge towards him quickly only to be snatched out of the air by one of the sand hands.

You whined quietly and managed to keep one arm free, your elbow plunging into the hardened sand, the sand breaking and cracking, letting you drop to the ground.

A quick move of you weaving through the reaching hands ended the fight as you kicked him in the throat and pinned his arms to the ground with your feet.

Of course, you were still wondering about how he could do that with his sand, but you were wondering exactly how you managed to pull off that substitution jutsu.

You had a kunai tip in the middle of his eyes threatening to pierce his skin and with a soft grunt he gave up and his body went lax.

“… How? How did you… Break through my sand,” he questioned softly, his lips barely moving. “Who the hell are you,” he continued.

“(L/N, F/N) Hidden Leaf Shinobi Genin,” you say with a slight huff, clearly agitated at this point, a small drop of sweat teasing your browline. “Who the fuck are you?”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #334

"i dreamed i was missing  /  you were so scared  /  but no one would listen,  ‘cuz no one else cared”

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset has prettier colors, imo, but I enjoy the pastel nature of sunrises, too. Are you mentally ill? Oh brother. Are you physically ill? I don't have any serious physical health issues, no. Introvert or extrovert? I'm a very strong introvert. What do you think when you look at your body? That it's fucking disgusting. What have others said when they look at your body? When I was healthy, I was complimented every now and again. With the body I have now? I'm glad people keep their months shut. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? There's a good 'ole handful or two. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? It's weird, I'm not a city person at all, but possibly when I was walking the streets of Chicago with Sara and her dad one evening. There was just so much life, so many new sights, that it was impossible not to. Plus, I was at a very happy point in my life, so. I just enjoyed a lot. Are you confident wearing a bikini? FUCK NO. Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Mentally, obviously. Everyone has at some point. I've never been seriously physically hurt by family, but Mom did spank my sisters and me as kids if we did something wrong. Biggest lie you have told? I don't really know. I get really uncomfortable telling even minor lies, so making a big one would be excruciating. I'm not saying I've never said a biggie, I'm sure in 25 years of life I said something stupid at one point, I just don't remember it. Do you believe in the Illuminati? Nah; there's some compelling evidence, but I just think it's way too big of a secret to keep. Regrets in your life? Blaming the breakup entirely on Jason and saying just plain cruel things to him afterwards. Also sending an appallingly hateful letter to Dad to vent after the divorce. Flirting with my then-best friend's boyfriend at the time behind her back. Dating Tyler (it's a small one, but still a regret). There are others, those are just the only ones coming to me right now. Achievements in your life? Lots of academic success and awards (before college, anyway...), artistic accomplishments like having my work put in a museum, surviving a traumatic breakup, (mostly) recovering from massive depression... What did people say about you in school? Nothing, really. I was a quiet student who just did her work and tried hard. Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes. If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? First, I'm paying off college debt. Then Mom gets a new car, followed by me getting new glasses and renewing my permit. I'm getting a good terrarium setup for Venus. Then, it's tattoo time, baby, haha. I can't really do the mental math on how much this all would cost, but those are the high-priority things I can think of. Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? Jason and I were playfighting in bed, and he had me pinned. Our faces were close, and I decided to kiss him. It was a fairy tale moment, in my eyes. He looked so bashful for once (he's far from shy) but also really happy, and I was too. Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Low, I think. Or maybe average, when Dad was still around. Have you been raised by a solo parent? When I was around 17, my parents split, so kinda-sorta. Do you know both your parents? Thankfully, yes. Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. Are you comfortable accepting compliments? Ehhhh, I really appreciate them and they can make my whole day, but I'm very awkward about it. I get shy. Are you comfortable giving compliments? Oh yes. I honestly love giving compliments; I know how happy they can make me, so why not share that with others? Is any mental illness hindering your life? Guess. (: Is any physical illness hindering your life? Well, it's not an "illness," but the muscles in my legs have severely atrophied from leading such a horribly sedentary lifestyle, and that has greatly affected my ability to work without the risk of just collapsing. Walking at all is painful. Are you preparing for an apocalypse? No. I'm not really one to worry about "prepping." If it happens, it happens, man. I'm not spending loads of money on a "maybe." Are you interested in cults? Not really, no. Are your parents good cooks? Mom is fine, but it's hard to really judge Dad's cooking since he barely ever did it, plus I haven't had his cooking in many, many years. I remember he was great at making breakfast, though. That was like a rare treat, him deciding to make breakfast for everyone. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No. Do you know anyone who is an actor? No. Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? They never did. Have you ever used a public pay phone? No. Have you ever made an item of clothing? No. Have you taken someone's virginity? No. Is confidence cute? "Confidence, yes. But cockiness and arrogance, no. That’s a whole different area that’s definitely not cute." <<<< Nailed it. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Doubt it. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No; rather, I drink too much of it. I'm trying really hard to lay off of it, and I drink nowhere near as much as I used to (when oddly enough, I was healthy and fit), but I'm still not comfortable drinking a can and a half a day. Listening to? "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Kinda obsessed. Ever used a bow and arrow? No, but archery is cool. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I don't think this has happened since my senior shot in HS. Take a vitamin daily? Daily, no, but I really should. I take a Vitamin D capsule every Sunday, though. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I only really like "Love Story" and "Picture to Burn." Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Which are better: black or green olives? I don't like olives period, but I guess black. What’s your 3rd favourite animal? Huh, never thought of #3, just #1 and #2: meerkats and opossums. Maybe snakes? Do you like mushrooms? NO. NO NO NO. What dream do you remember most vividly? One I don't talk about. A childhood nickname? Mom called me "Twinkie" and still sometimes does. ;-; Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? Just Sara. And yes, regarding some people. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I'm unsure, but probably. I don't tend to just like... randomly block people. What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Of course it was MySpace. It's still floating around somewhere in cyberspace. What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I get nostalgic over the Animal Planet forums sometimes. Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Yes, Sara. I felt like it would go just fine, but it went even better than I expected - I was oddly very comfortable around her and her family. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? Are you a fan of things like that in general? Yeah; I tried many brands until I settled for Equate, surprisingly. Cheap does not equate to bad quality, my friends. We always have the chocolate ones in the house, and they're really not bad at all. Are you the kind of person to enjoy taking naps? I love me my daily nap, man. What's your favourite kind of cheese to have on a pizza? Idk, whatever cheese is normally used, lol. What's a hobby you loved when you were younger but no longer enjoy for whatever reason? I guess video editing. I can't say I'd no longer enjoy it at all, but now the idea sounds far more like a chore than fun. Is there a popular food/drink that you can't stand? What is it and why don't you like it? I could name five dozen, but here's just a few: coffee, pie, tea, fried chicken (or is that just a Southern thing to be obsessed with?), and... of course now that I'm asked this question, I'm blanking on the huge number I know exist. As for "why," that varies, but it's either just simply a taste or even a texture thing. How would your wedding boquet look like? I want a gothic-themed wedding, so imagine a mix of black and maroon roses... whew-wee. You’re at a bar, and you witness a man drugging some girl's drink. What do you do? No hesitation, I'm decking the motherfucker. Fuck my fear of men, he's getting knocked out, and I'm immediately alerting the staff, as well as of course the girl. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? Y'know, loads and loads of scaly and hairy ones. Got plenty of name ideas depending on what they are and how they look. The only baby whose gender matters to me is the tarantula because females live waaaay longer. Fuck them human babies, not for me. Are you an organ donor? Absolutely. I sure as hell ain't usin' 'em once I'm dead, so consider it my last act of selflessness. Whats the most you’ve ever lost gambling? I don't gamble. What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? My pebble from my "graduation" from my first partial hospitalization program. It's meant to symbolize how great pain and trials can file you into something beautiful. It was passed around group, everyone holding it in their hands as they wished me well and spoke their piece about me. I'm honestly just fighting back tears remembering it. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No, I'm way too impatient for that shit.. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? Hm. I guess it depends on what you use it for. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? A human birth, no fucking thank you. I've only ever seen pet cats give birth. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does, big time. He quit drinking, but never quite managed to stay away from cigarettes. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Seeing as I grew up with outdoor cats that we couldn't afford to fix, pretty much all of our tomcats left for roving once they came of a certain age. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan and Jason know each other, Jason and Girt know one another as well, and Sara and Girt have met. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I simply cannot fathom the belief that "dinosaurs never existed." Explain the fucking fossils, like come the fuck on. It's absolute denial in the name of religion. What was the very first election you voted in? This one that just passed, actually. What is one random fact about you? I want like 20 tarantulas but Mom says no. :( Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Fuck no, I will do anything to stay inside in summer. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? I love band tees, yeah. My Ninja Sex Party shirt is the most comfortable, but comfort aside, it's hard to pick a favorite. Possibly my Otep one, 'cuz the design is dope. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. What season do you want to get married in? Fall. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Oh god, I don't own expensive brand stuff. I guess the only exclusion would be my Cloak shirt, but even that's not like, mad pricey. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Maybe that Catz game? Even though the music was the most fucking obnoxious meowing ever lmao. What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was this guy in my PHP group; my therapist surprised the fuck out of me by sharing with everyone my most recent poem (I trust him a lot, and he urges me to send him my art, so I've done that twice), and I nearly fucking died from cardiac arrest. However, this Nick guy, who's a poetry major, told me it was better than stuff he reads in his Master's program. I almost cried. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No, not that I'm opposed though or anything. If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The one on my inner forearm. Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? No. When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I never have. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No; Roman won't even come close enough to a stranger TO bite, haha. It's funny, he's so goofy and you'd guess outgoing, but instead, he's terrified of people he doesn't recognize. What’s your favorite type of sushi? I don't eat sushi. What’s your favorite patriotic song? Don't have one. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, and I'd really prefer not to because it would just drag me back to dark times. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you like soy sauce? omfg no What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market. @_@ It's a hub for reptiles for sale, and I have my days where I just browse the ball python morphs for like an hour or so, haha. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Christ, half my friends on Facebook are having babies, idr. I don't know who was the most recent. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? I'm very fast. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No; that was my friend Hannia. I'm pretty certain she would qualify as a genius. Her GPA was fucking incredible. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? No.

[forgiven-whimsy]

The Red Violin

FFXIV write 2020 prompt 2: Sway

Shiloh’s song  Shiloh and Emet’s duet (note the spotify version has a longer piano opening.) 

Anyways, touches of Lominsan/Vylbrand headcanons (they’re the ff Newfoundland, imo)  Aumortine music and art headcanons, and Garlean headcanons. Imagery leaning heavily on 5.3 revelations, while I don’t use express spoilers, reader beware. 

Set After Rak’Tika, but before Ahm Areng. 

Rated T - Angst

Wol x Emet-Selch

(Why yes the Red Violin is one of my all time favorite movies, why do you ask?) 

~

“I am a patron of the arts, always have been, the best your kind has to offer is found in the arts, incomplete as it is, there’s a certain charm to be found in it.” Emet-Selch sipped from his wine glass, swiping his gloved finger over the bars surface then wrinkling his nose. 

“What do you mean incomplete? Art is by its very nature subjective, therefore art’s completeness is defined by the artist, not the audience.” Shiloh replied, not particularly keen on hearing about all the ways she was inferior, but curious about how his timeless people made music, or art, the idea of Asciens being artists was a foreign concept, yet getting to know Emet-Selch, not entirely far-fetched. Solus Zos Galvus was historically a patron of the arts, she’d been aboard the Prima Vista and seen the reach of his patronage.

“It would be easier to show you.” And with a snap of his fingers the Crystarium vanished and he transported them to an entirely different environ. They were in a theatre, great gold trimmed red curtains, on stage a spotlight centered on a sleek black grand piano, surrounding it was all manner of string instruments, violin, cello, lute, harp, and even others she couldn’t name, Shiloh itched to touch them, to try them and see what sound they might make. The stage jutted out in a half moon, far more open than anything she’d ever seen, the audience seating surrounded the stage allowing a certain intimacy between artist and audience. Above, there was a massive chandelier whose teardrop crystals twinkled in the soft theatre lighting, the balconies climbed three stories, each gilded and carved with vines and flowers, painted in reds and golds, opulent. Stage left there was one particular balcony that caught her eye, the carvings more elaborate and draped in finery. 

“This is the Great Arena Theatrum in Garlemald,” Shiloh near gasped out, before rounding on Emet-Selch, “you brought me to Garlemald?” She had just let him, an Ascien, teleport her to the heart of enemy territory, and she wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed, furious or ashamed at being taken so easily. The musician in her near fainted with joy. Regardless of Garlean politics, every musician, actor, and dancer worth their salt has dreamt of performing on the Theatrums stage, Shiloh was no exception. While she was the daughter of a Doman refugee, she had been raised in Vylbrand, and the island's lifeblood was music. A house wasn’t a home without a piano, and a fiddle, and she’d been taught both as a child. She could recall playing her fiddle standing on the kitchen table imagining herself on this very stage. 

“Calm down hero, we are in an approximation of my own making, hidden away from prying eyes here in Norvrant, my fool grandson let the Theatrum fall into disrepair.” He sniffed derisively, “when I have proven my point to you I shall return you to the Crystarium without a hair out of place. It wounds me that you still don’t trust me.” He gave her a smile that did not inspire trust. 

He walked her into the spotlight, his gloved hands touching her lightly at the elbow, the twinkling light from the chandelier painted stars onto the raised top of the grand piano exposing the finely curved wood and strings within. Sitting on the piano bench was a violin case, Emet-Selch presented it to her with a flourish. Shiloh sat and opened the case to reveal the most exquisite violin she’d ever beheld. The spruce top had been stained a deep red with a bow to match, she delicately ran her fingers over the curving wood, the strings, the bow. Shiloh made a noise in her throat as she lifted the rare treasure into her arms, that prompted a chuckle from her Ascien companion. “A peace offering, the only condition is to play me something that stirs your soul, something original if it please.” He lifted her chin forcing her gaze from the violin to him, “move me, and I shall show you what your music once was.” 

“No pressure,” Shiloh held his gaze, seeing a spark of something she couldn’t describe in his golden eyes. “It’s been years since I’ve played, anything.” The weight of his expectation was heavy. He only smiled. 

“I have faith in you, dear hero.” Emet-Selch snapped his fingers and he disappeared into a black portal, she heard it re-open stage left, and there he sat, every inch an emperor in his gilded private balcony. “Take whatever time you need to warm up.” he called from his lavish chair, glass of wine in hand. With that, the theatre lights dimmed, the instruments, all save the grand piano, vanished, the spotlight remained on her. 

Shiloh felt like a mouse being toyed with by a cat. Squaring her shoulders she set the violin to her chin and prayed to all the Twelve and Kami, The Light and Dark both, that the bow would glide across the strings without screaming. The last time she’d picked up a violin was at Haurchefant’s funeral, at the behest of Lord Edmont, nearly two years past. A lance of grief sliced through her.  She could refuse, she could tell him to bring her back to the Crystarium, but then, she’d never know what Ascien music sounded like. It was the memory of Haurchefant, the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder playing a silly duet on his childhood piano in the Fortempt music room that steeled her spine.

She started with a slow scale, each note sung and not screamed, to her considerable relief. Shiloh exhaled, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t terrible, her fingers remembered the strings. She warmed up with scales, old childhood lullabies, folk songs played around the kitchen table. Finally she played an Ishgardian waltz, the sheet music a gift from her departed friend. She felt herself smiling, eyes shut, tail swaying in time with the tempo. Her mind filling in the missing instruments as the red violin sang with a full and mournful voice. So focused on practicing and remembering, Shiloh didn’t hear Emet-Selch’s portal behind her. 

“All very lovely, my dear, I’m sure Master Jevant Dufet would be pleased with such an able rendering of the Midnight Waltz, and without sheet music, most impressive.” 

Shiloh startled, spinning around to face him.

Emet-Selch tutted her while he approached, he placed gentle hands at her waist, spinning her back into the spotlight. He was in her space and she could feel his warmth, smell his scent. “I didn’t ask you to stop.” His long arms reached around lifting the violin back to her collar bone, he tilted her head just so before tracing a gloved finger along her jaw and arched neck. “I want to hear the song that resides in your soul.” His breath ghosted along her cheek, the timber of his voice resonating along her horn, and she felt her skin pebble. “Will you play it for me?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t have any original composi-” 

“Stop thinking, close your eyes, listen, and play.” His voice was patient, while he lifted her bow arm to the right position. 

Shiloh inhaled, and did as she was bid, listening, for what, she didn’t know. She felt the quick beat of a Thanvarian flamenco fluttering in her chest and slowly bow met strings, and the song that flew out was urgent, her bowing quick and precise borrowing heavily of the Thanvarian style, but so too was there a distinctly Ul’dhan quality, in her mind's eye she felt as a bird flying over the dunes, weaving over the rising heat. 

Emet-Selch’s touch was soft, gone was the silk of his glove, replaced by warm skin, his snap fit within her song and suddenly the guitar, the percussion, the accompanying strings, the piano, the light horns, the full voice of her song burst forth, the violin threading through each section. “Open your eyes.” he whispered against her horn, and she did. 

Gone was the theatre, they were bathed in the colours of the sunset, and above them flew a phoenix, dipping and diving along all the lands she’s seen, and saved, and loved. “Don’t stop.” he whispered, setting a hand on her hip and squeezing. She gasped at the sight, at the raw beauty. And she played with a bursting heart, tears slipping from unblinking eyes unwilling to look away from the dancing phoenix. She increased the tempo, bowing more quickly, the notes tumbling along the winds of the star, knowing that it would end if she stopped, and she didn’t want it to stop. She let the fire in her soul burn as brightly as she could, uncaring of the ach in her fingers, knowing only that the creature above was born of her music, and so she played for it’s pleasure, and it soared, the violin it’s voice and heart. Until in a burst of flame it was consumed, and the song ended. 

She swayed on her feet, consumed by emotion, bittersweet tears running down her face. She leaned against Emet-Selch who remained behind her, his hand at her throat, and hip moving gently, caressing. Overwhelmed she exhaled a shuddering breath. 

“Do you understand now, what was lost?” He asked quietly, voice heavy with the same emotion she was feeling.

“How did you?”

“I assure you my dear I did nothing but lend you a sliver of my power, the song, the image, everything, was born of your heart, your soul. And so it was that all art was created in a similar fashion. The full intent of the piece complete.” 

Shiloh spun in his arms, still clutching bow and violin, she was met with a half quirked smile and a softness in his eyes she’d not thought possible. He tenderly brushed the tears from her cheeks, “yours was always a beautiful song, so full of passion.” 

Shiloh’s head was swimming, she wanted to keep playing, she had so many questions, and yet she found herself drowning in the liquid gold of his eyes, the same pale gold as her own. She licked her lips, and leaned against the palm of his hand where he held her cheek. 

“Play with me?” she asked breathless, “before we go, play with me, a duet.” He closed his eyes, his expression pained, “please, Emet.”

“How can I turn down so earnest a plea?” he gave her a rueful smile, “but, first.” He pressed his forehead to her own, and she felt something, cool, and comforting wash over her, where her song, her aether, she belatedly realized, was like the sun, Emet-Selch’s aether, his soul was as the moon. Her own aether responded, curious and warm, until their essence mingled, until there was no ending nor beginning between them. “There, that should serve.” 

Shiloh both did and didn’t understand what he’d done, he stepped back going to the grand piano. His presence remained, slowly curling around her, lazy and familiar. “As before, listen, and play.” 

Shiloh lifted the violin, and tilted her head, giddy with anticipation, moving to be in sight of him and waited. 

Emet began the song, quiet notes on the piano, Shiloh did not close her eyes this time. With each passing note the theatre fell away replaced by blackest night until a city made of stardust rose around them. He met her eyes and nodded and she knew her part had come and she joined her song to his, she knew the notes, a song from a past she couldn’t place, suddenly the starlit city filled with people wraithlike and sparkling. But it was two individuals that caught her eye. Emet-Selch changed the tempo to a style she’d never heard before, yet it was familiar, she adjusted her tempo to match. The two wraiths danced, spinning through the grand city, there was joy in their movements. Unadulterated love between them. One lifted the other, and she could swear the one who was lifted laughed, when placed down they ran from the first, a game. The first chased, sometimes catching them in a kiss, sometimes missing, until the other rounded back to jump into the firsts arms. Shiloh’s heart ached, the song and starlit players a half remembered memory. The song changed again, mournful, the city fell away, one of the wraiths, the one who played, faded, leaving only one, until it also faded, and the song ended. 

She felt the pain thrumming from Emet’s aether still entwined with her own, his head bowed over the piano. Shiloh set the violin back in its case and went to him, wrapping her arms around his back, anything to ease the overwhelming sadness. His hand grasped at her arm, and she felt a shudder from him. 

“I’m here.” She whispered against his ear, soft hair tickling her nose. 

He shook his head. 

“I’m here.” She repeated, not understanding all, but knowing what she witnessed in their shared song had been a glimpse of their story.

He twisted in her arms, anguish on his face, “you left.” his voice a harsh whisper fraught with emotion. 

She had no answer for him, nothing to ease the pain, she didn’t understand, didn’t remember, whatever her soul had been to him, was gone, but it’s echo knew him, called to him, and she kissed his angry mouth, a despairing sound whimpered from Emet’s throat. He grabbed her and kissed her again, and again, hungry, lost, full of longing. Their twined aether created a feedback loop consuming them. His hands were everywhere, and Shiloh arched into him. In a moment he had her against the piano, discordant notes interrupting their growing passion. It was enough to stop them, and for a half beat they stared at each other panting. Emet-Selch was the first to move, tearing his aether from hers, and she winced, the withdrawal a physical pain. He snapped his fingers, returning Shiloh to the Crystarium, as promised, without so much as a word.

She made her way back to her room in the Pendants, still processing everything she’d learned, and seen, and felt. Every so often touching her kiss swollen lips. She slid into her room meeting no one she knew along the way, no one to question the high blush on her cheek and chest, or the dazed look in her eyes. Distracted as she was it took a minute for her to notice the violin case sitting on her kitchen table. She knew before opening it what she’d find within, a promise, a memory, her red violin. 

[bluekayanite]

Observations: Contradictions in “Familiar”

I’m not dead!  Life was just kicking my butt hard and kept me from having much in the way of spare time, and it sent me into burnout, anxiety, and depression.  I tried to push through and still work on blog stuff, but it seemed to have a pretty bad impact on the quality of my work.

I’ve had some time to recover now - just in time, too, because I’d hate not to get a theory/observation post out before Diamond Days releases.

(Yes, I know I’m cutting it close.  I’m just trying to get it at all right now.)

Okay, did anyone else notice that Familiar felt a bit off?

(Besides Steven, that is.)

To the point: Part of my main theory has long been that White has been using mind-control powers on everyone, including Blue and Yellow.  Right now, that includes the idea of making everyone think that Rose and Pink are the same person.

I expected to see at least one contradiction in this ep - probably while Steven talked to Blue or something - but really, this ep is littered with them.  Even if you weren’t actively looking for contradictions, I bet a lot of people still noticed something that was strange.

First, the most obvious one:

Yellow says that the sauna/extraction chamber is new, i.e. Pink and Pearl wouldn’t have known about it because it was made while they were away.  And yet...

Pearl somehow knows about it, and even knows how to help Steven prepare for it.

Perhaps the next most noticeable oddity: It’s pretty obvious that Pink is Blue’s favorite, to the point that she would sneak away to think about her, neglecting her duties.

Instead, Blue seems to now be neglecting “Pink” for the sake of her duties - a complete reversal.  In fact, she doesn’t even seem to bother drying off when she leaves the pool, like she’s in a hurry to get out of there.

In fact, you’d expect Blue to be the first Diamond to want to be with Steven, but instead, Yellow beats her to it.

My theory on that particular detail: You know how in LFHTH, Yellow said that Steven should let her do the talking?  And how she was more willing to approach White than Blue was?

I think there’s a good change that Yellow did talk to White shortly after Steven.  And as such, White affected her, before Blue, and Yellow was the first available.

Getting to more subtle notes, you remember this part?

This is the first one that really stood out to me.  Pearl never says “Thank the Stars,” or anything like it.  Instead, she seems to favor Earth expressions when exclaiming things.

I was even under the impression that she had abandoned Gem theology.  And yet, here she is, thanking the s/Stars.

(No, I’m not counting when Sardonyx greeted Steven.  Along with it being hard to tell how exactly personalities affect a Fusion, there haven’t been any non-fused references to the stars like that - from Pearl, Garnet, Ruby or Sapphire - so it’s not a good data point.)

There’s more moments where the Pearls seem to be out of character.  You probably remember this part:

I don’t think that Yellow Pearl would normally have a problem with something like a name.  She’s normally shown a lot of personality - i.e. not limited to a few tasks.

And she’s emoted at Steven’s nonsense before.

But now, not only does she seem to not realize that Steven’s being silly, but he somehow risks breaking her with it?

I’m pretty sure that she’d be able to handle something like a name, especially since Steven didn’t even make it complicated  Heck, part of her job seems to be working with names.

Blue Pearl also has moments.  When Steven heads to see Blue, I noticed this:

This is the first time we’ve seen Blue Pearl with her hands behind her back.  Normally, she keeps them clasped in front.  Having the hands behind the back is more of a Yellow Pearl thing.

I also wonder about her “Welcome back.”  I mean, come on, she was there when Pearl helped Rose make an attack at the Cloud Arena.

I know we don’t know her very well, but I still wonder why she’d welcome Pearl after that.

Also: Have you really listened to her when she says it?  It’s kind of creepy. o.o;

Speaking of which, if I’m not mistaken, Yellow sounds a bit flatter than usual when she talks.  Blue might be a bit off, too.  To me, they both give off a sort of “hypnotized” vibe, as do the Pearls (all three of them).

Regardless of their tone, they both seem too calm for everything that just happened, at least IMO.  Really, they go from “worried about dealing with White” to, as Steven puts it, “spa day,” in what seems like a matter of minutes.

I’m thinking that White basically told them not to worry.  In fact, it might be why Yellow laughs at the idea of failing to get White’s attention, instead of getting angry.

Pearl herself is also oddly calm, or even weirdly happy about a lot of... less fortunate things.

I know she likes Pink/Steven, but liking Pink and Steven is exactly why I’d think she’d be more upset about Yellow conquering planets, slaughtering countless people, and having Gems sucking the life out of the ground after the fact.  Not to mention the idea of Pink helping celebrate such things.

Speaking of, that’s another thing that Pearl probably shouldn’t know about: If the murals are any indication, Yellow probably only had nine colonies when the Earth colony was just started, i.e. the last time Pearl would’ve been in touch with Homeworld.

And now she has hundreds.  And the way Pearl talks, it sounds like she somehow knows about them all.

“Yellow Diamond oversees all aspects of Gem production on every single one of her colonies.”

On the other hand, Pearl talks about Yellow often being off with her army - singular - whereas Peridot said in Hit the Diamond that Yellow has control over “all the armies of Homeworld” - plural, and probably very many.  So it’s like Pearl knows about the newer colonies, but not the new armies.

And unless the Diamonds are normally friends with the Gems in their courts, it also feels like a stretch for thinking of Pink’s court to remind her to get Steven’s friends.

If you ask me, it seems like Pearl’s mind is so filled with active contradictions that she’s the Pearl most likely to break.

Maybe not too unlike a certain other Pearl that I bet White worked her magic on.

Anyway, since I mentioned odd grammatical usage, Blue has a couple moments:

Grammar is one of my strongpoints, and in this context, “you and I” is nonstandard, or even considered incorrect (I checked - it often comes with hypercorrection).  But more strange is how she turns down Steven’s suggestion to play a game.

I’d think that, now that Steven’s here, and White is obviously glad for it, the Blue would think that idea of playing the game again would be wonderful, and that it might be a good way for the Diamonds to get together again.  Instead, she talk about how no one wanted to come when Pink wasn’t there.

Okay, so either of those on its own seems like a stretch, but two odd word choices seem like a pattern to me - like a little hint that something is wrong.

And if you think about it, Blue doesn’t really answer either of Steven’s requests.  Along with turning to the past and not the present, she says nothing about talking to White.

Pearl also seems to have some odd responses to what Steven says, not always answering the real question.  (You could probably count Yellow, too.)  And there are a lot of oddly convenient interruptions.

Also, both Blue and Yellow seem to have a lot of focus on wanting to be with White, especially if they’re afraid of her.  It almost seems like White might want them to, well, want to be with her.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned, but I’ve long theorized that White actually fears loneliness, but is very selective about who she lets in.  This could be evidence of that.

I do suspect that the singing underwater game is actually canon.  It seems a bit too specific when White seems to be missing a lot of details.  It also suggests both intelligence and a degree of creativity on Pink’s part: things that would help if she wanted to lead a rebellion in secret.  I also think there’s a chance that the Pebbles can’t be affected by White’s powers.

Speaking of which: Why would the Pebbles accept “Pink,” but run from her Pearl?  Unless maybe they knew that she’s not actually the Pearl that belongs to Pink. ;3

Anyway, I know I’ve been all over the place with this post (esp. toward the end here), but there were a couple more things that I wanted to mention: You know the new “Love Like You” recording in the credits?  The one that doesn’t quite sound like it’s being sung by Rose?  I noticed that it was heading towards the line “What makes you think I’m so special?” and in Familiar, it got to that part.  Not only that, but it really emphasizes the word “special,” making it sound a bit strange.

I was thinking that it would make sense if they played that line right around the time of a “Rose ISN’T Pink” reveal, and considering that Diamond Days has its own trailer - one that’s on the dramatic side even - it seems like that ep is probably going to be important.

Maybe Steven’s going to find out that something is very wrong, and maybe even question whether Rose was Pink after all.

If so, then it would be sooner than I expected. 83

Connie also seems to be giving the CGs a somewhat-strange look, possibly on the concerned side.

Have they all been affected?  Has Connie noticed that something’s off?

I’m curious to find out.  I suppose that will be soon. =3

And yes, there is a lot more I could talk about here, but I think I’ll leave it at this for now. XD

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode 1: “Why is my tribe all these musty men and Ruthie?” -Ali

-I'm writing this pre-cast reveal and I'm scared shitless. Dear future Jess, Don't puke before tribals because of anxiety. Don't let the m*n tell you what to do. Don't get in your head and trust your gut. Sincerely, Pre-Cast Reveal Jess.

- Now where do I begin.... It's day 2? I believe.... in this game and I've already spiralled and showed the signs of a future crackhead. In all seriousness though, I've calmed down and the initial shock of cast reveal has worn off. I was a bit shook seeing some of the people in this cast playing. I've literally hosted a large chunk of these people so I REALLY HOPE NONE OF THAT COMES TO BITE ME IN THE ASS (I don't think it will). I hope people realize I wasn't really paying close attention to their games when hosting.. and if I was... I have the memory of a pebble. I'm sure none of that will have an impact on anyone besides maybe Ali. BUT ALI IF YOU ARE READING THIS.. DAY 2 JESS REALLY WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU! Now lets talk about my tribe: - We got Rachael/Zach who are super close or at least have some sort of connection through his sister. - We got Birch/Keegan regardless of whatever they are pushing about doubts with each other I can see them cleaning that slat in the name of numbers. - Me and Gavin because I'm the only one he knows in this game. - Possibly me/Timmy if he wants to work with me. - Possibly me/Chips hoping he remembers I did show how blindly loyal I was to him the last game we were in.... - Bodhi might be in with people like Zach (who he was hosting) and Rachael. - John honestly... I have no idea about. He's such a wild card for me. My overall thought process and game plan right now is... BLUID THOSE RELATIONSHIPS! I think I proved with my challenge performance I am an asset to this tribe but I want to show people I can be an asset to them. I can see us swapping at 16 so I'm going to be around this tribe for a bit so I need people to want me around. So far I'm getting along with Keegan he seems like a cool cat. I'm also aware he's probably a cool cat in everyone's eyes but for right now.. I really like him! Birch is definitely a social beast. From what I remembered they were an extremely social player in the season I hosted them but they are very transparent with their information which does scare me. For the time being though, I'll attempt to work my magic with them and build that trust so the information spills to me.. Rachael is a queen. I really want to work with her because I do see similarities between our playing style which is something I always gravitate towards in games. I'm naive and I do know she has other people higher up on that trust-ladder based off of initial relationships but I do hope to somehow climb that. Although I do know she will be a power play in this game, I know I'm going to need other power players around me to ensure there is a target ahead of me. She also brings connections which typically brings in information. So rather than be a crackhead and go for her (which is what cast reveal night Jess thought about) I'm going to try and work with her. Zach.. honestly, I don't know how much I have in common with a teenage boy so that might be a road block between us. He is one of those key-relationships I hope to build off of through Rachael. I will also die if Rachael/Zach aren't that close and I'm just rambling shit right now. Gavin is one of my FIRST ORG friends and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM PLAYING THIS GAME. I don't think anyone right now knows we are close but I'm not afraid to cut him if it means I go further in this game. I'm not really sure about my tribes chances for this first immunity challenge. Everyone aside for a few people on this tribe seem like they have their shit together in this challenge. I know the "movie trivia" crew snapped hard and my back hurts from carrying my tribe but.... our chances of winning rely on Timmy (who is on vacation), Gavin who is probably working or something, and Bodhi who is hosting currently. So to say I'm confident.... would be a giant ass lie. I'm excited for the idol search to open up SO BAD.

-Cast is revealed and game starts in a half hour. I’m feeling excited. I hope I do better in this season than the game I did last, 17th. Ughhhhhh, grosss

- I’m having fun doing the quotes, it’s interesting. I feel like I’m getting along well with everyone. I’m trying to talk to them all and interact. If I’m amusing they won’t get rid of me. Right? Right? Somebody tell me I’m right

-Okay tea time!  I'm really excited. I had to add A LOT of people I have never talked to before and I always like doing that because I LOOOOVE playing with people that don't know how I play and also getting to know clean people and starting with a clean slate! The only people I had added on my tribe are Jay and Ali and I LIKE that!   I'm excited to talk to people, scope everyone out a little and see what I need to do.  This game and the theming is SO CUTE and I can't wait to see what all happens next!

- https://youtu.be/MY-s5k1n7sI

why is my tribe all these musty men and ruthie what did i do to deserve this.

https://youtu.be/LPxSC_ZjZIc

https://youtu.be/ojw9T8GsbaA

-That 36 person cast twist not being real...big disappointment, I was hoping for a huge mess where someone cries. But 20 people, good size. My tribe seems like good people so this should be exciting.

- So we lost the first immunity challenge. Seems like it’s unanimous for John to go. Works for me as he is who I wanted out when I woke up this morning since we hadn’t spoken. He keeps saying he wants someone who was weak in the challenge out and didn’t tell me a name but told Rachel, Bodhi. Funny thing is, John did worse in his challenge than anyone in the quotes group so therefore his own logic can be used against him.

-AHHHHHHHHHHH MY PEOPLE ARE HERE I DON"T KNOW WHO I WANNA WORK WITH. There is king ali, my bae Austin, bestie jay, and really old time friend Collin in this one tribe. I'm not even counting people on the other tribe. I'm gonna lose so hard. I'm crying tho

-When I was meeting my tribe for the first time I was thinking that we have a very good group here. I'm glad to see Bodhi again cuz I haven't seen him since Trinity: P&P a few months ago. I think that with the additions of Birch and Keegan to our tribe I think we're gonna win some challenges. So I'm hoping for the best and not the worst for this team.

- So we're all waiting for the results of the 1st challenge, and I'm feeling a little nervous that my tribe may lose, but I'm hoping that we do win because I want this season to start off on a good note for my tribe. I'm just hoping that we pull this off and not blow this.

-the way i was offered a final 2 within minutes of joining the tribe chat. hopefully this ages well and you get to see me and bodhi succeed :)

- John is too damn messy and has got to go. PERIODT.

https://youtu.be/L1-ZBhnUQ7U

-I love my Tribe!! I'm super excited to play with Keegan and Timmy again! I'm trying to get closer with everyone else since I haven't played with them before. I'm also kinda nervous for the challenge. I have a weird taste in music so we will see how this goes. I really hope I'm not first boot. I haven't had good placements in my last couple of games, so I'm hoping for better this time! This cast is iconic.

-So my mom got my drunk before the challenge and then tried guilting me into not doing the challenge. we flopped anyway. we are currently pulling ahead in the Movie challenge but it's still early so idk. I really hope we can get the next 2 challenges. I don't wanna be first boot.  

- Ahoy matey! me got cursed t' only talk like a pirate in thar tribe chats n' me alliance chat. So me’m doing dis confession like a pirate. So anyway. me’m in a alliance Wit' Keegan n' Jess. As far as me know our jolly crew only verily talked t' each other. So dis works out. Our jolly crew also lost which SUCKS. me verily hope me’m nay first boot. me might sail after John. All me conversations wit' him be painful. So that’s fun. me like all hands so dis will hard. But let’s see what happens! Birch signing off.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Iq3ANGs8M&feature=youtu.be

- Here’s the Tea Link: https://youtu.be/X3J2e4ffmiY

- https://youtu.be/Q80k6g4QUIk

Kinda bummed the movie challenge didn’t go so well hope we don’t have to go to tribal this early

-Hello hello! I am SO happy to be back in atomic Survivor! I feel like things are off to a really nice start and I'm hoping that will continue. For now I'll do a little assessment of my tribe before we find out results for the first challenge. Ali - I've seen him around in the community a lot for years, im pretty sure I was around when he played his first game. But I don't remember if I've ever had the chance to actually play WITH him. He's such a nice guy I've loved talking with him so far Austin - Lmao the funny thing is I actually talked to him for the first time ever like a week ago. A real lucky break that he and I were both part of this casting twist. We immediately started talking and agreed to look out for each other. Cindi - this is my first time meeting her ever! She seems really rad and we've just been talking about life and tattoos and shit lmao. I can definitely see myself working with her in the future. Collin - y'all I LOVE Collin. I just played with him in Mesopotamia, and even though he voted me out I never had any bitterness towards him cause he's just that nice. He's definitely been the person I've talked to the most so far. We have a lot in common and I really want to trust him. But I am still a bit wary bc of Mesopotamia. Czern - I don't really have a read on him yet. Haven't spoken to him too much. Dan - Same as Czern but I haven't spoken to Dan at all Vi - Vi is such a ray of sunshine, I've loved her ever since I met her in Tashirojima. In fact my biggest mistake in that game IMO was voting her out. I'm 100% working with her this time. Ruthie - It's been so long since I've talked to Ruthie and I'm so glad that this game gives me the chance to reconnect with her. An absolute legend and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't talked strategy with her yet but that'll come soon lol Timmy - Yo he DESTROYED that music challenge and I'm super grateful for that. I've talked to him a little bit and he's pretty nice but I don't really have any further opinions on him lol

- Reallllly glad we didn't have to go to tribal tonight. I've been really busy today so it would've been a really rough time. But instead I got to enjoy my day, but of course I socialized with my tribe. I feel really close with Collin, Ali, and Ruthie. Granted those are relationships that started outside of this game, but they're relationships nonetheless. I really vibe with Austin too, even though I talk to him a little less, we're bonded through that opening twist. And the best thing is Austin mentioned vibing with all those people + Vi (who's great as well, I just haven't talked any strategy with her yet) so I smell an alliance starting sometime soon. I just feel really well about the start of this game and im hoping it can last.

-First confessional of the season! I debated making a video but then I realized that's a lore more work and harder for me to have actual organized thoughts. Going back to the start of the game: I know RACHAEL, BIRCH, CHIPS, JAY, VI, CINDI, DAN and RUTHIE. The only person I don't know anything about is CZERN. So I've got a pretty stacked cast of people I can potentially work with moving forward. But I currently have three goals for this season: 1. Make the merge or swap so I can play with VI. Even if we don't work together, I'd love to play with her! She rules! 2. Make sure JAY gets voted out before myself. As a fellow winner, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. 3. Make sure DAN gets voted out before myself. He's a sneaky snake and I won't ever trust him after Nova Scotia. First off, I'm in an awesome alliance with BIRCH and JESS. It's only three people so it's not a clear majority but it's a good start. We formed this literally 10 minutes after the challenge had ended. Speaking of the challenge, it was a fun challenge but we did lose. However, JESS, RACHAEL, CHIPS and myself were the only ones who won our portion of the challenge, so I've been subtly hinting that I wouldn't feel right if any of us were voted out. GAVIN told me that TIMMY and BODHI didn't contribute much of anything to their part of the challenge, so that's a possible decision when it comes to this tribal. However, JOHN has been very difficult to have a conversation with and I've been told that him and BODHI won't vote for each other. So right now it's just working with JESS and BIRCH to determine what the best option is moving forward. I'm thinking I can get RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN on board with whatever we decide. Tune in later for some more thoughts.

-I wanna say it’s be super eventful but not really. Just a few small things: CHIPS has been telling everyone everything. He told JOHN he was the vote. He told JESS about the GAVIN thing. He needs to learn to keep things to himself if he doesn’t want to be gone next. JOHN tried throwing ZACH under the bus for not being good in challenges. I had a call with BODHI and apparently ZACH is a comp beast. So that’s not happening. If everything is as planned JOHN should be the unanimous vote. I might throw a stray vote on CHIPS just in case of an idol play but I’m undecided.

So this round I got super close with Austin and Collin, and close with cindi, and okay close with everyone else. I killed it in the music challenge because I  did not feel confident I wouldn’t go home if we lost. I need to tighten my bonds and hopefully make a solid group before the next round. I have no real targets atm but Ruthie and I have yet to speak so that’s awkward. I kinda wish I was on the other tribe because I feel like I’d vibe with them better. I had to make sure I was the first to go into the treehouse because I wanted to be open and transparent about what happens in there and make sure that nobody else got to go in and change what actually happens. I’m very excited for the next few rounds tho!

https://youtu.be/e_oVLgNr4ro

Okay so first round is going pretty good so far . I cant believe they put me on a tribe with vi which is amazing bc ride or die right there. I know ali vi collins and jay are def ppl I wanna work with in this game . I mean my whole tribe is great . Dan I know is a wild card and he seems like he wants to work together but I'm not sure if I can fully trust him since he did vote me out last seasons with telling me a damn thing . Cindi was almost in my duplicity season I'm on production for so I know her a bit as well. I know she would probs go with Rachael at a swap or merge which is dangerous .THANK GOD we won the first immunity and I dont have two sorry about a vote bc if I'm honest it would be HARD to decide on a name . Let's see what happens tho I'm ready to play and ready to win

Honestly it seems pretty slow starting. Just working on getting to know the tribe at this point. I really like Collin and Ali but beyond that I'm not getting like amazing vibes from the others. I'm not getting bad vibes either though, just neutral positive vibes if that makes sense

okay, so i have been focusing on getting to know my tribe-mates the past few days because in this game, connections are your lifeline. but, i also didn't want to come off too strong and be perceived as "too social" from the get-go *cough* keegan the snake *cough*. so, i laid back, talked to people (some more than others), and tried to focus on winning immunity. unfortunately, when immunity slipped through our fingers, i quickly got to work socializing and making sure i wasn't the one to be blamed for our loss in our challenge. i felt that i contributed a lot and tried to start discussions and debate about our quotes, and felt as though i didn't get much back from my team. so, i made sure that people knew my group wasn't very communicative and had they communicated more, we could have totally won. i didn't push for a name to begin the round, but i did make sure to let people know who i hadn't talked to in hopes of getting one of their names on the chopping block this round. i made sure to reach out to everyone (even those who didn't reach out to me or seem invested in the game, nor our conversations) because i don't want someone to spread my name as a result. then, it seemed to narrow down to john and timmy. also, it was obviously leaning towards john leaving this round. however, it was not until about a few hours before day change that john had FINALLY heard that his name was going around due to the fact that it was TRULY IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO HIM. funnily enough, this information came directly from chips--someone who i haven't talked to much. thankfully for me, john decided to tell almost everyone exactly what chips had said and no one was pleased to hear that. so, i worked my magic and made sure people were upset that chips tried to throw us all under the bus--because i need to make sure there is a target for next round that isn't me... DUH! later, i asked john what he wanted to do, and he sat there completely clueless. i was completely dumbfounded at his reluctance to say a name when his ass was CLEARLY on the line. eventually, i worked a name out of him, and he said bodhi (who was the only one who wanted to keep him earlier today)... so i obviously went right to bodhi and made sure he knew so i could build some trust with him going forward in this game since talking to john literally made me lose brain cells by the minute, i wanted to make sure he was the one leaving tonight. so, i am hoping everything goes according to plan at tribal tonight, but as long as i don't leave, i am golden with whatever. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl

So basically I'm not in town right now... and IbhopenI can trust people not to vote me until I get back and am less busy. I really bombed the challenge by getting 0 points for my tribe but we won that part... because the other people carried. Good stuff. Anyway we are voting John because he doesn't communicate well and has kind of mansplained the potential different vote? If its true then woohoo I got another round. Also! I got am advantage from idol hunt and thats nifty. 

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Click HERE to watch both out PREGAME and ROUND ONE cast assessments!

[baguettelord]

MER week :D

So yeap I’m actually being productive this time (albeit slowly) and contributing to a THING :O (I know its weird, right?) so I decided to do a bunch of little drabble thingies about one of my Sheps (thanks to @Cactuarkitty for the advice). Post-destroy seemed fitting, soooo yeah. Here’s the first one. For general context she was in a coma at the time and this is her dream. :o ~ Mercedes Shepard A/N I’m terrible at editing so there is probably some repetitive words in here and stupid typos or words missing etc. x_x

***WARNING*** this contains some pretty graphic violence (IMO) and also HINTS at sexual assault/rape/etc or torture/murder depending on how you read it.

               Her hands were sweaty and hot, fingers poised on the threat of slipping from the rough grasp of her father’s calloused hand. He was pulling too hard, twisting her wrist on a painful angle, threatening to wrench her left arm right out of the joint.

               Her breath was short, jagged and burning in her chest. Legs protested, stiff from sleep, as they ran through the edge of the cornfield, barely obscured from the view of the dirt road. The dry, dusty leaves tore at her already cut and bleeding face, slashing her bare arms, stinging wherever they sliced her.

               “Faster”, her father grunted, his voice low, gravelly and laced with a subtext that struck terror into her heart.

               In that moment, she turned her grime-smeared face skywards.

               The sun was setting, casting the scattering of clouds in a halo of fire, and the atmosphere itself seemed to catch alight. Columns of smoke billowed high above the settlement and blew across the farmland, dusting everything with ash. The tiniest breeze carried only distant screams and gunfire to her ears, shattering any innocence that remained in a sixteen year old.

               Mindoir was burning.

               And suddenly she was wrenched to the ground, her father’s hand silencing her cry of pain, shielding her from whatever manner of vehicle roared by on the road.

               The scream of protesting brakes, a hiss of pressurised air, and a small cloud of dust, kicked up as whatever it was ground to a halt. A pair of boots hit the ground, then another, then even more…a squadron?

               Her father met her terrified eyes, bringing one short, shaking finger to his lips. She tried to swallow but her throat refused to comply as he slowly moved into a crouching position. She couldn’t see the road, couldn’t see past him, only his rough, dirty figure hunched over her like a bear guarding its den.

               “You see something, Kaarek?” the voice was low, guttural, and overwhelmingly batarian.

               “Not sure, boss”, another, presumably Kaarek, responded, a note of amusement in his voice. “Could make a game of it, if it is something, though…”

               She stuffed her fist into her mouth to stifle the whimper that rose in her chest.

               Her father was creeping away, parting the stalks ever so carefully, moving with all the silence of a trained predator. In that moment, all doubt of his heroic exploits in the Alliance left her mind. She followed him with her eyes, until all she saw was the occasional glimpse of his worn leather jacket through the yellowed leaves.

               Barely within her sight, he suddenly broke into a run, tearing away towards the centre of the field and making as much noise as a rampaging krogan.

               The batarians took immediate notice, roaring foreign battle cries and words that could only have been expletives. They charged into the field, trampling the spent crops and carving a path directly behind the old farmer.

               A tiny voice in the back of her head told her that his limp meant the time he had bought for her would be very little. Another, louder voice, screamed that her father was about to die. Her chest expanded with a trapped scream and she bit down on her hand as hard as she could to fight it off.

               For an eternal second, she struggled to grasp her reality, tears pouring down her filthy, bloodied face, searing into the scratches. She choked on a gasp, then drew a shaky breath, then a steadier one, then held it and forced herself to her feet, half-crouching like a wounded animal.

               She crept towards the road, peering out at what appeared to be a stolen M35 Mako. This belonged to Ignatias Remunde, the man who owned most of the farms in the disctrict, including her family’s. The once brand new, glossy paint job was now scarred with black scorch marks and spatterings of what could only have been blood.

               She took a moment to peer around the road, recalling the varren culling ‘missions’ she’d gone on with her father in the last year or so. She could hear the feral barking of the raiders hunting her father, the distant sounds of the settlement being ravaged, the screaming…but the road around the Mako seemed to be silent.

               Parting the jagged stalks as quietly as possible, she slowly moved towards the abandoned vehicle, wincing as the leaves rustled ever so slightly. Pausing at the last row of corn, she did another quick scan of the area and, keeping as low as she could, ventured out of the sheltering field.

               She had almost reached the aft of the Mako when she was alerted to the fact it wasn’t quite as abandoned as she’d assumed.

The distinct crunch of fine, dusty gravel under a heavy boot preceded the towering batarian that stepped out from behind the vehicle. His cold, black eyes radiated a combination of hate, evil and something that made her stomach churn. A jagged scar stretched across his throat, curling up to the corner of his mouth, which was twisted in a savage snarl and baring the most horrifying row of needle-sharp teeth she had ever seen.

Spluttering in terror, she scrambled backwards, skating on the loose gravel and falling gracelessly to the hard surface of the road. Growling something low and unintelligible, the batarian approached and she threw her arms over her head, cowering and twisting to cover her unprotected abdomen.

His gloved hand closed over her left arm roughly and she automatically struggled to loosen his grip. There was a muttered curse and he struck the side of her face hard, she sharp edge on the back of his armoured hand cutting deeply across her cheek, all the way to the bridge of her nose.

Momentarily stunned, she struggled to focus as bright spots popped into her vision. The offending hand grabbed her by the jaw, turning her head forcibly so that she could see his sickening smirk. In that moment, she had no doubt what was about to happen to her.

Suddenly, a shotgun blast rang out somewhere nearby, followed immediately by the triumphant hooting of the batarians. Her face went slack, eyes glassy and blank as her captor turned in the direction of the sound.

Then her brain ticked over.

Her father was dead. Her mother and sister were…lost. Her farm, settlement…her planet was on fire. Countless innocents were undoubtedly lying dead in the streets, and even more taken hostage, certain to be sold as slaves back on Khar’shan.

She felt…cold, like an insignificant, lifeless pebble buried under a millennia of ice. And at the same time, she was somehow a raging inferno, full of burning hate, her blood searing in her veins, heart about to explode.

Her right hand, almost of its own accord, balled into a fist, nails digging into her palm hard enough to draw blood. Her first omni-tool, a gift she’d received at her most recent birthday, loaded with the bootleg omni-blade she’d cobbled together in her spare time and still hadn’t tested.

But caution had evaporated entirely.

One young, feminine hand grabbed onto the gauntlet affixed to the arm that restrained her, teeth bared in a snarl that parted into a roar. Her fist came up as the omni-tool flickered into being, immediately forging the long, curved blade. Glowing brilliant amber, it radiated heat that burned into the back of her wrist and hand as it streaked towards the batarian.

Illegal for a reason, the entirely overpowered blade cut straight through his barrier and sunk into his armour as though it were made of tin foil. He struggled, gurgling something incoherent as it began to cook him like a jacket potato.

The tool spurted and sparked, sputtering into nothing and causing the now thoroughly dead batarian to slump heavily over her. His sizzling, semi-clotted blood oozed from the partially melted slash through his armour, smearing all over her shirt as she struggled out from under him.

Panting and trembling violently, she got unsteadily to her feet. The strong smell of charred batarian almost made her vomit and her wrist was already beginning to blister. She stood there for a second, confused by the amount of adrenaline in her system, heart pounding, ears roaring.

A yell from across the field jerked her back to reality and she staggered towards the Mako, fingers twitching from the pain in her burnt arm. She fumbled with the hatch, panicking as the interface refused to comply. The guttural shouting was getting closer and more insistent; clearly the batarians had hear her kill their comrade.

She slammed a fist down on the control panel in frustration, trying to blink back the darkness that loomed threateningly on the edge of her vision.

The horde of conflicting, terrifyingly deep voices were growing clearer and louder and she struggled to access the Mako’s system. Her heart raced as her fingers scrabbled to hack into the console.

The cornfield rustled, the growling words ceased, boots crunched on the dusty road. And then a voice, clear as day, human, and dripping with venom.

“You’ve failed”, it snarled.

She whirled, back pressing against the scarred Mako, feet spread into a defensive position through some sort of instinct she never knew she had.

And then she choked.

Kai Leng stood just feet away, arms spread wide with a cruel, mocking smirk on a face that had surely been handsome at some point. Behind him stood a small group of Cerberus Phantoms.

“No”, she whispered, horrified.

“That’s right”, he drawled slowly shuffling forwards, letting his boots scrape across the gravel with a sound like tearing paper. “You couldn’t kill me.”

“No”, she repeated, pressing back harder so that the armour plating jutted painfully into her spine.

“In fact”, he continued on triumphantly, one hand resting on the hilt of his weapon. “The only people you’ve ever been able to kill are innocent bystanders, your friends, your…family. Their blood is on your hands. The blood of a galaxy…”

Denial twisted through her brain as tears welled in her wide eyes. She shook her head forcibly, unable to accept his words.

“Face it”, he stopped, barely a meter from her, baring his teeth in a sadistic grin. “You’ve lost, Shepard.”

Recognition surged through her like electricity, even as the assassin impaled her on his gleaming silver katana. She coughed once, fingers weakly trying to grip the blade, slicing open and slipping against the metal in her own blood as she tried to pull it out.

The blackness swooped in to claim her, finally, mercifully…