#throw a party for viktor

[inkspiredwriting]

Bachelor Party

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Five Hargreeves had never been one for grand celebrations, but his brothers insisted on throwing him a bachelor party. It was a tradition, they said, a rite of passage before he tied the knot with Y/N. So, reluctantly, he agreed.

The evening started off innocently enough. Luther, Diego, Klaus, Ben, and Viktor gathered at a swanky downtown bar. Drinks flowed freely, laughter echoed, and the Hargreeves brothers enjoyed a rare moment of camaraderie.

"To Five!" Klaus shouted, raising his glass. "The smartest, most annoying brother we have!"

Five rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress a smile. "Thanks, Klaus. I think."

The night quickly escalated. Klaus, ever the instigator, suggested they visit a karaoke bar. Despite Five's protests, he soon found himself on stage, microphone in hand, belting out an off-key rendition of "Livin' on a Prayer" with Klaus as his backup singer. Diego tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably, laughing so hard he nearly fell off his chair.

Ben and Viktor, meanwhile, engaged in a heated competition at the pool table.

Luther, the ever-responsible brother, attempted to keep everyone in line, but even he couldn't resist the chaos. By the time they left the karaoke bar, everyone was in high spirits—and thoroughly drunk.

Their next stop was a nightclub, where Klaus somehow managed to charm his way into the VIP section. The brothers danced, drank, and caused a general ruckus. Five, trying to maintain some semblance of control, found himself pulled into the madness despite his best efforts.

As the night wore on, things began to spiral further out of control. Diego ended up in a dance-off with a stranger, Ben and Viktor got into a debate about the merits of classic rock versus modern pop, and Klaus disappeared for a suspiciously long time, only to return with a group of new "friends" in tow.

Five, feeling overwhelmed and more than a little tipsy, finally reached his breaking point. He pulled out his phone and called Y/N.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, trying to sound casual despite the chaos around him. "I was wondering if I could come home now."

Y/N laughed on the other end of the line. "Five, it's your bachelor party! You're supposed to have fun. Enjoy it, okay?"

Five sighed, a smile tugging at his lips. "I miss you. This isn't really my scene."

"I know," Y/N replied gently. "But you're only going to do this once. Make some memories with your brothers. I'll be here when you get back."

Encouraged by her words, Five hung up and rejoined his brothers. As the night continued, he let go of his reservations and embraced the chaos. He danced with Klaus, cheered on Diego, and even challenged Ben and Viktor to a game of darts.

By the time the sun began to rise, the Hargreeves brothers were a disheveled, exhausted mess, but they were also closer than ever. Stumbling out of the nightclub, they laughed and recounted the night's events, supporting each other as they made their way home.

When Five finally returned to the mansion, he found Y/N waiting for him, a knowing smile on her face. "Have fun?" she asked.

Five nodded, pulling her into a hug. "It was insane. But yeah, I did."

"I'm glad," Y/N said, kissing his cheek. "Now let's get you some sleep, future husband."

As they walked up to their room, Five reflected on the night. It had been chaotic, overwhelming, and completely out of his comfort zone. But it had also been a night of bonding and laughter, a celebration of family and love. And as he drifted off to sleep, Five knew that he was grateful for each and every one of his brothers.

[5five5five5five5five5five]

god fuck it. high lila and diego thoughts post. credit to this post for sparking this thought waterfall. sorry if these are weird.

they have the HEALTHIEST relationship once they settle down. fuck it. they would be so happy together fuck s4.

there date nights would be like the coolest shit! i feel like they would fucking roleplay as batman and catwomen and go full villain vigilante all over the city. Lila steals from the 7-11, diego is on the chase witch ends with him and her up against an ally wall and its the most romantic shit ever. she might even stab him.

i refuse to believe they dont have the craziest kids on the planet. like they care for them and love them but they say shit like "mommy said i shouldn't talk to cops because they are squealing twaks." or "dad said i cant go to your birthday party. yeah, we have axe throwing lessons that day."

that van would be filled with blankets and pillows and shit that would be dangerous in a car. Lilla would make that van a mini home.

Five is the best brother in law who would NEVER sleep with Lila ever. tbh i feel like they would develop a sibling in law funny cartoonish side kick to a depressed noir detective gimmick. frenemies till the end with NOTHING ELSE. like they both collective went "lets try to HOTWIRE THIS BRIEFCASE" they fight over the brain cell. i love their dynamic tbh and the fact that s4fucked it up UPSETS ME.

Diego becomes a little league couch and gets REALLY into it.

Lila is the mom who cheers WAY TOO LOUDLY AND SWEARS.

might even get into a fist flight.

their kids love them dearly but are also rather embarrassed to be their kids.

five gets really into scrapbooking and making greeting cards. the kids really love them and they enjoy getting them for every holiday.

five and viktor baby sit all the time and are the best babysitters. five is stone-faced and awkward at first but overtime is a very affectionate uncle.

[norgreeves]

Party: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Notes:

Both Five and Y/N were adults who were aged down after time travel

Both Five and Y/N are at least 18

Y/N is female and uses she/her pronouns

Tags: angst, fluff

You're celebrating with the families, but something seems to be bothering Five.

You were dancing with Lila and he couldn’t look away. 

Everyone was celebrating saving the world from another apocalypse, the Sparrows and Umbrellas had put aside their differences for the sake of a good old fashioned party. Five was relieved and ready to retire, with a bottle of whiskey in hand, but he kept his distance from the group. He was leaning on a table, watching the absolute mess of comradery unravel before him. Ben and Diego appeared to be dancing and fighting at the same time, throwing their masculinity in eachothers faces. Five rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you, already feeling as though he’d missed out on something. A smile, perhaps a glance.

Lila took your arm and you span each other in turn, giggling and stumbling through the moves, the alcohol starting to have more say in your limbs than your muscles. You reached for the bottle of wine, Lila’s grasp loosening as she let you take a swig,

“Someone’s smitten,” Lila called over the music.

“What’s that?” You frowned.

She just mouthed, ‘Five’, at you and winked, before nodding her head to the side. You followed the direction she indicated and caught eyes with Five, who was swaying and staring. There had always been something between you two, but nothing was ever said aloud. And with the whole apocalypse situation it never felt like it was okay to test the waters. He noticed you noticing him, and, in his tipsy state, he was too slow to act natural or hide his embarrassment. You sighed and smiled at him, turning his sheepish stare into a returning smile. Your hand reached out, gesturing for him to join,

“Come dance!”

“Have fun, loser,” Lila called before dancing over to Diego. You watched her go and laughed, turning back to see Five stumbling over to you, almost knocking into Viktor and Klaus, who were swaying about wildly.

“Woah!” you giggled, putting a hand out to steady him, “drunk?”

“Noo!” He shook his head, sounding like a child, “I’m perfectly capable of anything. I could take a whole other boardroom on right now. Just watch me-”

“Okay! Okay, yes you’re very strong and brave,” you patted his back before taking his hand, “Now come dance with me,”

He started to dance, terribly, mind, but you didn’t care. You were more sober than him, sure, but only by comparison. He reached his arm up, inviting you to spin; you felt the world spin with you. Grinning and tugging him back close to your side before letting go. He held his tight smile, but you could see something was up.

“Why do you look so glum, Five? We won! You’re drunk! Who cares?!” You cried, before noticing his lack of reaction, “Right?”

“I guess so!” He replied, trying to convince himself. You slowed your dancing down and stared at him, frowning. “Alright, come on, then,” you grabbed his hand before walking away from the group, Five almost tripping over his own feet as you guided him.

“What’s this for?” Five asked, “where are we going?”

“Just outside, I can’t hear anything in there,” you said as you continued walking towards the door, Five’s hand still clasped around yours. You wondered if he had realised.

“Why?” He slurred slightly, recovering his balance.

“I wanna know what’s up.”

You stopped outside by the benches, turned to face Five, and looked him in the eye. His reactions took a second to catch up with you, and so when he came to a halt he was close to you, his eyes meeting yours.

“I thought you wanted to dance,” he pointed back to the party, swinging his body with his arm.

“It’s not fun if you’re gonna be all mopey,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not mopey,”

“Five,” your voice was earnest and gentle as you tilted your head, “I’m serious.”

He looked at you, his hard stare softening away to dust as he took a deep breath. There was a moment of silence and you begged him to fill it.

"Okay," he hummed, "okay..I guess I just...always thought I’d die saving the world,” he hummed, perching on the bench and patting the empty space next to him. You sat down quietly, trying to offer him an encouraging glance, but he was staring at the ground, avoiding your gaze.

“And I was okay with that,” Five nodded slowly, taking a second to fish for sober thoughts, “I figured I’d do something stupid and die trying to fix it. And you’d be there, of course,” he stifled a chuckle, “and I’d say everything I never had the guts to say. And then I’d die, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences.”

“That’s healthy,” you said, but your voice trailed off as you lost the confidence to poke fun. You two always made remarks at each other, trying to get the last sarcastic comment in. But in that moment he was so sincere, it just didn’t feel right. You cleared your throat and turned in your seat slightly to look at him, “What don’t you have the guts to say?”

Five shifted in his seat, daring to look up. His eyes were scanning you, his gaze soft and kind, “I think you already know, Y/N.”

“Then say it, Five.”

“I don’t think I can, I don’t think it’s fair,” his voice was wavering as he looked back down at the ground shyly.

Your stomach began to sink.

“Five Hargreeves," you took his hand and squeezed it, "nothing about this life is fair. Nothing about your job or the commission or these insane families or any other shit is fair. And that’s why you have to say it. Because if you don’t even have the guts to tell me you love me, what’s the point of it all?”

You’d barely got out your last word when his lips crashed onto yours, his hand snaking up your back and melting into your hair as you kissed back. You felt it in his touch, the anger and the love and the thin line he’d drawn to separate the two. His lips were chapped and his hands were cold and you could taste the apocalypse on his tongue.

You broke apart, his hand still cradling your head as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“I love you, Y/N. Okay? I love you.”

------

Thank you for reading! <3

Likes, comments, and reblogs are all very appreciated! Feel free to send me an ask with ideas or suggestions, I don't necessarily take requests, but I like inspo!

All writing is mine, do not repost without permission.

The gif is not mine

[lilacspider]

TUA should’ve ended after season 2

i am just so kriffing disappointed in this final season. i am disgusted. steve blackman has absolutely zero regard for these characters, their development, and the story. he has no respect for the ACTORS. he threw the entirety of these past three seasons in the trash in just one season. they had so much opportunity and yet he chose to make it a fetish-filled, scandalous, and completely lazy season.

all the vomitting???????? klaus being force fed marigold (which dare i say might’ve made a good storyline for him IF HE WASNT PIMPED OUT AND THEJN NESRLY BURIED ALIVE????) which in turn made him into an alcoholic???

five and lila????? they scrapped fives motivation of saving his family and keeping them together because of his LOVE FOR THEM, all SO HE COULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH LILA????? that is probably the biggest mischaracterization altogether. lila would never cheat on diego. they are married. THEY HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER. it’s NORMAL to have arguments and trouble in a relationship but by no means does it mean there’s room for affairs as a result. it just makes me mad. ritu has known aidan since he was 15, like this is so nasty.

diego being the stereotypical “bad father” for lack of better words because he apparently has no consideration for his family which is NOT TRUE AND IS A HUGE MISCHARACTERIZATION!!????

luther going back to being the guy that no one really listens to because they feel he has nothing of value to offer (it wasn’t super evident but i noticed it which made me sad bc we made so much progress with his character!)???

allison becoming a single mom whose husband, RAYMOND, walked out on her??? that literally makes no sense for raymond or her, yes allison is a strong and independent character but it feels like it’s just stereotype after stereotype.

viktor becoming a womanizer and LEAVING HIS FAMILY BEHIND! all viktor has ever wanted since childhood is to be apart of his family, and they take that away this season??? makes no sense.

dont even get me started on sparrow ben. i have never liked his character he is wayyyy too much of an asshole, but your saying he can’t have common sense??? they turn him into a criminal who is contaminated by this essence that is meant to end the world and ends up making him insanely attracted to the one consistent mystery in this entire show (jennifer/the jennifer incident) and then throw away the entire plot line to just have them end the world. **and then making him and jennifer overly sexually attracted to each other was just straight up weird, where did that even come from?? i had to skip those scenes because it was so kriffing cringe.

because out of no where, abigail had a change of heart. and reginald is somehow one of the only mentally stable characters this season which is new!??? jean and gene were completely and utterly useless. they had no point, the only five i liked in this season is brisket, newspaper, drunk, and season one five. CIA five can leave.

one of the only redeemable moments of this season is the flashback of our brellies. that was good. there were other parts that i liked but that is first that comes to mind. **and the birthday party scene where they reunite. very cute and family vibes. sucks they couldn’t all be together because viktor was straight up kidnapped by some crazy.

and then the subway to different timelines. that could’ve been such a freaking awesome idea and would’ve made a great plot device IF THERE WASN’T ONLY SIX EPISODES AND SOMEONE ELSE WAS PUT IN CHARGE OF WRITING. like why are five and lila the only ones who are aware of this?? this couldn’t have been utilized earlier?? also can we talk more about how ben is an asshole, people focus too much on the attractive aspect of his character (which no offense, i see no appeal to bc the personality is just awful—NO HATE TO JUSTIN H M, he’s fantastic it’s just we did not lose brelly ben for this), like he force fed/tricked EVERYONE into consuming the janky marigold. except klaus because he’s the only smart one there. also good on him for trying maintain sobriety. but still. that is so messed up???? if he had never given anyone the marigold, everything could’ve been fine. they could’ve lived long happy lives in this timeline reggie made.

and then they had david cross, pitch perfect 2 ref, iconic man, play an irrelevant character. i’m so mad. wasted potential right there.

AND! it’s a crime that there is no family dance montage/scene like past seasons. it hurts. **oh and also there being like zero MCR songs is such a slap in the face because if the producers and directors actually listened to the fans opinions and ideas every once in a while, they would know that we’ve been hoping for an MCR song to be included as an homage/reference to Gerard Way.

and then that ending. where they just accept death???? choosing that the world is better off without them??? that is such a lazy end. if they had ten episodes and let gerard way have some sort of say in the writing/directing process, we could’ve had something so good. something so creative and fun and fulfilling. but no. they die and come back as marigolds. **which i personally really liked, out of everything this season i’m not sure why so many people hate the fact they kind of turned into flowers 😭😭 the ending sucked cause it’s so obvious it wasn’t given much thought but it was still sad and seeing the eight marigolds was sweet and gave closure in a sense. as much as it could i guess. **also, the farthest marigold is ben regardless bc brelly ben is dead and sparrow ben doesn’t really consider the brellies as his family. it is not five or klaus or whoever, it is ben. it has to be imo. the two flowers closest together are lila and diego. fight me.**

another thing, all the bad guys having a happy ending? irks me. like they were iconic, but why them and not the brellies? **(while i still agree with the idea of why couldn’t the brellies be happy too, i actually liked the fact that the main villains or side characters had completely different lives had the umbrella academy never existed. like that’s actually crazy sad and really interesting. also two things: is detective patch in that last scene? i’m not sure if she is. and second: why is grace like alive? like she would still be alive, but she was alive in the sixties, so wouldn’t she be like super old by that point in time?? why is she still young? and having kids? the inconsistency is realll)** also i liked the version of i think we’re alone now they used but i think it could’ve been better if they used the tiffany version again 😞

anyway—thank you for reading my rant because i am just so baffled by how horrible this season was. i feel so bad for the cast because even they knew that this season would not be it. that not one true fan of TUA would like it. and it’s sad because this has been such a huge part of their lives and careers as actors. so they did great with what they were given and for that they have my respect.

** signify edits i made — mostly grammatical and clairty edits, and a few of my opinions updated or added on to now that i have had time to really think about what occurred this season.

[louisetaylor]

TUA SEASON 4 REWRITE

because if you want something done right... *rolls eyes*

In the original single timeline, we got a wonderful season 4 of The Umbrella Academy. I'm here to remind you of your latent memories of the original season 4. Together we can restore it to its former glory. Like a club. We need a name. Call ourselves the Keepers or something similar.

Here's what I know:

Luther is putting work into his (admittedly rundown and condemned) house. It's growing more welcoming with every antique sconce and threadbare thrifted rug. Klaus lives with him, advising him on the finer points of exotic dancing. We see the family visiting. Claire knows where the snacks are. Luther picks up and tosses Lila's kids in the air, trying and failing to learn words in Punjabi. He struggles to move in new furniture, longing for his old strength back, his familiar hairy body.

Viktor owns a bar in Canada. He's proud of it, but despite bantering with the regulars, he isn't close to anyone. He still wants to shout at Reginald (for everything) and at Allison (for everything else). Sometimes the patrons get too loud, and Viktor focuses on the sound of the radio playing in the background, wanting to shout at the loud talkers and knock them off their stools with the sound of his voice. He misses Harlan. He wonders about autism, and why he understood the boy so well.

Diego practices throwing knives in the back yard after the kids have gone to bed. Fed up with being a delivery driver, he briefly considers opening a party planning business, but Lila laughs her head off at the idea, saying he'd explode if she even bought a pinata from the wrong side of town or something. He runs alone at night, slows, stops, bangs his head against a telephone pole in frustration.

Lila spars with Diego in the basement, kendo one night, aikido the next...It vents their anger and relieves their boredom. She has an idea of opening a martial arts studio. When she pins Diego down, they're both visibly into it. She goes away to a book club that might not be a book club, wishing for a bigger world.

The kids aren't just pawns for the plot or for conflict. They're people who ask inconvenient questions. "Where did Mummy learn to fight?" They make up bedtime stories about their parents' pasts. Superhero stories which are eerily close to the truth.

Klaus lives with Luther, sober, germaphobic, plagued by nightmares, afraid of death and love and life because he's seen so very much of all of them. He cooks for Luther, which sometimes turns out well and sometimes not. "Well, it's not the same when you make it without hashish..." When the marigold crashes back into his life, he's angry, and yet he's elated to feel the power back in him, he knows he can't go back to being half dead and unfeeling, he needs to wear something silk and put on some eyeliner and be wild again, as he always really was.

Allison tries out for every commercial in town and spars with her daughter, who's turning out to be a stubborn opposing mirror of her mother. Claire spits uncomfortable truths at her mother like her too-strong influence on others, her lecturing them instead of listening to them, kicking at their weak points. She wonders who she is when she's not acting or rumoring people. Maybe one of these days she'll ask someone for help.

Number Five has been trying to remember his name. He's been working for the CIA because a man's gotta eat, but he clashes with his boss a little too much on account of his smart mouth. He can't help acting like a young man sometimes, because he never really got to be young, feel young, act young. He can't help trying to jump away sometimes. He feels trapped in one place, one time.

Ben just got out of prison. The season starts with him being taken back to Luther's place, being welcomed in by Klaus and offered some cookies that smell suspiciously of weed. He's annoyed by the running laughing visiting kids, but the house reminds him strangely of home. He'll curse Luther out, but Klaus gave him weed cookies, and the kids don't deserve to be scared or upset, do they? He's not a monster, after all.

[ithinkimnormal]

tbh i feel like the reason why original lore jayvik is still so much better than arcane jayvik is that they have FAR STRONGER motivations. They both want to be the best at what they do, they make a rivalry of it, and they despise the political games surrounding them in equal measure.

League vik/jayce who bond over openly mocking high-society parties. Who are just barely humoring their stupid investors so they have an excuse to keep working together. League vik/jayce who firmly believe only ONE guy on earth understands them enough to operate on the same level. Who will chase each other to the ends of this universe, and through all the others.

Viktor wants to make the world perfect. His idealism is so great that it sways Jayce from his lonely cynicism, makes him fall head over heels --- while Jayce is increasingly afraid that Vik's growing idea of perfection means becoming the very unjust totalitarian power he's always hated. Their conflict works because in deep and persistent way they know part of the other is right.

Its just completely ridiculous to me how the show dropped their ying/yang balance to throw in... a dumb council-assistant and politician plot 🙄 Viktor would never swallow being a traitor to his own homeland like that! Jayce's *entire thing* is that he chooses to believe in humanity's goodness and capacity to make things right over forcibly ordering them around! THAT'S WHY THEY WANT TO KISS EACHOTHER IN THE MOUTH.

[thehistoriangirl]

my mexican twin.... I DEMAND MORE LATINX READER X VIKTOR!! (politely) i think its just fun to see representation even in lil silly fics hehe

TWINSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I SUMMON YOU!!!!!

For now I have some headcanons I would love to write into fics but I haven't had the inspiration to do it as prettily as I wish to 😭😭 I hope you like them 💛💛💛

Okay so the headcanons:

Viktor x Latinx gn!Reader (SFW)

TW: These are Mexican-related (bc I'm Mexican lol), but some can apply to different Latin cultures! :3

He DEFS gains a few pounds once you two start dating

Like either because YOU feed him (sometimes against his will bc he's """soooooo busy""" (shoving him a torta de milanesa during his lunchtime)

Or because YOUR FAMILY feeds him once you present him over. Imagine your cool grandma/cool aunt inspecting it with 😱😱😱😱 faces because MY MAN IS SO SCRUNKLY. It's a family's duty to up some pounds on those bones

And he enjoys to be being pampered you know, I imagine him like the classic "Oh but I'm full already 🥺" when you put another bowl full of pozole in front of him, and then he says he's only eating it for peer pressure around the table--but that's. a LIE!!!!

Yall can't tell me he doesn't get a round bump after a particularly yummy party. He's like starting to doze off on the table like a baby after eating his fourth tamal during your cousin's XV años.

Even if at night he's like 🥺🥺🥺 "my love my tummy hurts" (for the spice, idk why i headcanon he can get gastritis really easily lkfhjdklfjf) and here it goes the milk remedy winkwink

Also pan de dulce 👀👀👀 he falls in love with pan de dulce istg, and he can eat it with milk????? sign him the fuck up. The same with pastel de tres leches

Also he starts to mumble songs in bad Spanish--an idea @apuwu had talked with me over Discord before JKDJHDFJKFJH. My man is just vibing without knowing the grisly lyrics behind a seemingly happy tune

But you prefer not to tell him because he just looks so adorable mumbling it mindlessly while working <3333

He doesn't dance much bc his legs hurt if he keeps putting pressure on it during too long, but you can definitely coarse him into dancing one or two.

Otherwise he just likes to watch you dance, even if you don't really know how to/are a lil bit clumsy. You look very happy dancing with your family/friends that he gets smitten all over again

He's kinda scarred for life once he saw kids breaking a piñata during one of your nephews' birthdays & un bolo during a baptism (where the hosts throw money so the guests could pick it up) (iykyk)

He started to watch telenovelas by mistake. Like maybe you were watching one or just putting it like white background noise while doing something else.

And at first he was like 🙄🙄🙄 "if the characters would do X thing or Z, this problem would be easily resolved/this problem wouldn't exist", and you tell him that it is for the 💥d r a m a💥

As it happened to the best of us when you're hanging out in the living room and your mom is watching a telenovela---Viktor just gets HOOKED. He doesn't know when it happened or how but he is invested

Sometimes you arrive home from a date with your friends and find Viktor and Jayce watching a telenovela on the couch

[For context, in my lil derange mind, in a contemporary AU Jayce is Latino. No i will not elaborate thank you]

He helps you make the Día de Muertos ofrenda <3333 he just loves to gets all craftsty and he's so interested about the concept that he even brings a photos of his passed family members. May even cook something they liked to put it in there alongisde yours :3

For now that's all! I hope to make some short fics with these soon! Like during Independence's Day KDJFDJKFJHF <3

[albinokittens300]

SO. Since we are getting into promo time for season 2 and I am kinda late to this party, handful of theories I am down for. I don't think any of these are orignal speculation, as I've seen them most of them several different places but. Yea, general thoughts on how I am feeling about S2...so when it airs I can come back and cringe at myself XD.

-No way Caitlyns mom survived unfortunately.

-Viktor and Mel probabbly lived, but in extremely rough shape. Enough to isolate Jayce and opening him up to being manipulated by Ambessa.

-Yea Ambessa is 100% gonna be the one pulling the strings through Jayce at least at the beginning.

-I don't know if I feel like Caitlyn is gonna get to become sherif by the end of this season like she is meant to end up becoming. If she does, it's gonna be at the end, imo. Though I imagine Vi will end up becoming an enforcer by the end.

-Sevika probably has taken most of the power and influence SIlco had for the time being. I imagine her thing is gonna be getting all them chem barons to work as a unit to actually stand a chance to fight Piltover whenever they attack. Because they will.

-Jinx most definitely is gonna keep confronting people. I mentioned before Ekko feels like the natural next name on her list. But I think Sevika will be seeing her face pritty soon as well. Singed may also be on there somewhere because of the shimmer infusion situation. Point being I don't think Jinx is going to be hiding out. Her twisted tea party seemed like the beginning.

-Ekko will be creating the the Z drive in the first few episodes, and probably finish it by the second or third. I have a whole think I want to post about my thoughts on just how much the firelights are gonna be joinning in the conflict. But that is an entire post on it's own.

-I want to think Hiemerdinger may risk going to see if he can't talk Jayce down at the point he sends everything at the undercity. Maybe. Or he is gonna throw everything into beefing up the undercity as much as possible.

WHEW okay. A lot lol. Again, these are just speculation I got so give me some grace XD. Put out mostly for enjoyment while everyone is waiting, and to laugh at myself later on.

[lullabyes22-blog]

You've answered alcohol tolerance levels for the Arcane characters. What about dancing? Who has the best moves?

By order of least likely to dance well to most likely:

Viktor - Sadly, as a casualty of his health condition more than his need to use a cane, he sits out every dance. But he's got a secret appreciation for rhythm; will tap his feet and clap along with the beat, while looking wistfully out into the dance floor. Sometimes, you'll catch him humming a catchy tune from the party the next day... ("Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard / When we drink we do it right, gettin' slizard... hmm, Jayce, what does 'slizard' mean?")

Signature move: Agrees to thump the table while you do the Bart Simpson.

Caitlyn - She was classically trained in ballroom dancing by family tutors. Cassandra expected her daughter to carry herself well at social gatherings. Unfortunately, she hadn't anticipated that her daughter would have two left feet and the rhythmic competence of a sunstruck sump-vole. Girl cannot dance to save her life. The natural grace she displays in the shooting range is displaced by backtracking stumbles and profuse apologies each time she steps on someone's foot. Which is... often. ("I'll, erm, fetch some drinks, shall I?" - proceeds to disappear and never return to the dance floor again. )

Signature move: Accidentally slapping someone in the face during a minuet.

Jayce - He's so goshdarn awkward. Like Caitlyn, he's received tutelage in classical dancing; his father was fleet on his feet, and Ximenia hoped her boy would literally follow in his footsteps. Unfortunately, Jayce has inherited his mother's adorkably awful sense of rhythm. Unlike Caitlyn, he's good at keeping up and following the steps. But he doesn't enjoy it at all - and it shows. Will waltz you around like a teenager forced to be sociable at the prom, and look for the narrowest excuse to dip. ("Oh, is that Councilor Bolbo? Let me go say hello." Jayce, that's not Councilor Bolbo. That's a coat rack...)

Signature move: The self-conscious shuffleshuffle until he's safely barricaded behind the dessert table.

Vi - Her best footwork is in the boxing ring, not the dance floor. She can move credibly enough, and even throws in a few funky moves. Will do the Dougie, first goofily, then in perfect sync. But on the whole, her dancing looks a bit like pre-game warm-ups. Bonus: those hips get to work when the beat is right. It's almost like a precursor to when she's powering up to throw a punch. Oof, she did throw a punch. ("What? The creep grabbed your ass!" Sssh. It's ok, Vi. Let's sit this one out and treat ourselves to some nachos...)

Signature move: Shadowboxing in time with the beat. It's mad fun to watch.

Vander - He isn't particularly fond of dancing, but any boxer knows it has its uses for building endurance and balance. Will get downright over-the-top with the Dad moves to crack the kids up, but for such a large man, he's surprisingly light on his feet. Bonus: if you're into it, he will absolutely pick you up and twirl you like a baton. ("Mind your head doesn't hit the ceiling fan, luv. Blood's a bitch to scrub out." What? He's kidding!)

Signature move: The Sprinkler. The kiddies love that one. Also the Anti-Gravity Lean. For shits and giggles, he'll sometimes pretend he's about to fall on you. Timbeeeeeeer!

Sevika: On the whole, she'd rather be playing cards at a party. But if she's in the mood to get the sweat flowing, she will decamp to the dancefloor. She moves with the sort of strutting grace of a prized thoroughbred at a parade. She also goes for solo dance styles rather than partner dancing. Feel free to admire her from afar - but you'll need a few shots of tequila and a shitload of courage to approach her while she's in her zone. ("Either you've got two lazy eyes, sweetheart, or you really like my tits..." What-? No! Well, yes. But it was her footwork you were admiring! Her footwooooork!)

Signature move: A smooth scoop arm + languid hip sway when she's feeling the beat.

Silco - Do ya like Jazz? 'Cause this man has moves. That whippish physique translates into immaculately sharp footwork on the dance floor. Will do the Charleston like a champ and put those skanky little hips to work during a shimmy. He's also got a sly way of leading, even when he isn't, so more often than not, you'll be following his moves rather than the other way around. If you can keep up, you'll get a wry smile paired with a rarer compliment. If you can't, he will purr the meanest insults in your ear. ("Do try to put in the work. The Swing's not a spectator's sport." Try not to burst into tears. The last thing he needs is snot on his cravat.)

Signature move: On request, you will get the sluttiest Slut Drop. And he will hold eye contact. The. Entire. Time.

Mel - Naturally fluid and elegant. She glides like a swan in a boardroom; she unfurls like a blossom on the dance floor. Even Ambessa - grudgingly - acknowledges that her daughter knows how to make an impression through all forms of her art. She's skilled in most formalized forms of ballroom dance, but what gets her little golden motor revving is actually the more earthy styles of dance. It gives her a chance to let those closely-reined emotions come loose. ("'Slum it up' with you at an Undercity saloon? Now there's a notion... Perhaps later I might take you up on the offer." Shit - she said yes. Now what?)

Signature move: Piltover's equivalent of the Viennese Waltz. A highly advanced dance that she breezes through like schoolyard hopscotch.

Jinx - Some people should not be allowed to dance. Jinx is one of them. As with everything else, she takes things to a frightening extreme. She's already a walking acrophobia trigger. Also just a living breathing trigger. When she dances, it shows. She can transition with unnerving rapidity from cute flighty bouncing to a very provocative sinuosity to something out of a Junji Ito horror manga: all feral eyes and zero bones uncoiling to squeeze the life out of you. ("I call this move the lit fuse...or is it the boomstick?" Whatever she calls it, you've already gotten blown to smithereens. R.i.p.)

Signature move: Murder on the dancefloor. Actual, literal, screaming murder.

[topperscumslut]

ok we NEED to talk about the bachelor party dancing scene from s3 cuz while it seems like just a fun scene to throw in, it’s truly so so serious. it shows that five actually has a personality outside of the apocalypse. when he stops fighting it, he lets it all go, he actually does enjoy spending time with his family, and even dancing, ffs. we get a dancing montage every single season, first with everyone but five in s1 (since he wasn’t back yet), then klaus, viktor, and allison in the barbershop in s2, and then finally the bachelor party scene. it’s heartbreaking to see him give up, but also bittersweet, bcuz at the end of the day, s3 is the most himself five has even been, well at least on screen

[milfswriter]

Family

Alma Peregrine/ The children in general x Reader

Request: Fluffy household headcanons

Notes: me and @queerpersonified decided to bring the Alma tag back to life cause Alma simps deserve better :)

Alright so...We all know you're the fun, cool parent here

It gets on Alma's nerves VERY easily.

"Can we play raid the village?" "No, Mr. Nullings" "she meant yes, but don't kill anyone!".

She'd give you a glare and receives an innocent smile in return

You were a family, not just peculiars living in a loop with their headmistress and her cool wife.

You're less likely to be the one grounding any of them unless it's Enoch. the boy never ceases to get on your nerves when he raises his voice at Alma or doesn't clean his death-smelling room.

piggyback rides with claire and olive to the dining room.

Birthday parties!!. Even though it's the same day every day, you keep a calendar in the kitchen with each child's initials on their birthday. Even Alma's, though she scolds you for indulging in unnecessary celebrations like this.

"It is necessary. You turn 182 today! everyone say happy birthday miss peregrine!" you laugh as her face turns a darker shade of red than she'd like to show while the children chant the famous birthday song.

morning kisses at the breakfast table that make the children cringe

Being referee and goalkeeper at the same time while the boys play soccer, Horace tutting at them for their 'unclassy behavior'.

Alma would not touch you with a five-foot pool as she looks at your dirt-covered clothes from throwing yourself around to catch Hugh's ball.

brushing Emma's hair every morning, much to her annoyance. "I'm eighty-eight years old" "and I'm a hundred and forty-three, you're still a child".

Stifling a groan at Bronwyn's strength when she hugs you.

Telling Millard to wear clothes every time you see an object flying in the air with a box of tissues thrown at him.

laying your head on Alma's lap in the living room while she smokes her pipe every afternoon, her long nails running through your hair as you close your eyes.

Keeping Enoch from Viktor's room, sometimes even locking it.

Being the only one besides Hugh that Fiona actually talks to

Bedtime has always been your favorite, tucking all your children into bed after a compulsory bedtime story from Tales of the peculiar, Alma waiting in the doorway to go to bed together.

Late night swaying in the kitchen to a song you'd hum in your wife’s ear, your hands at Alma's waist while hers are around your neck.

Taglist:

@ara-a-bird @thenazwife @mistysswampmud @yelenablshop @acornacre @yourfavdummy @mmemalwa @multifandomfix

[seakraitmessages]

Umbrella Academy prequel novel “Young Blood” There's an official umbrella academy prequel novel coming out on July 9. It features the siblings with Ben before he died! I’m including the book’s summary here, so be careful if it’s a spoiler!

[ID: The official prequel novel to the hit Umbrella Academy series on Netflix, starring a teenaged Umbrella Academy in an original, darkly comic adventure written by New York Times bestselling author Alyssa Sheinmel.

The Umbrella Academy has always been extraordinary—ready to leap to superpowered action at a moment’s notice. But now that Five has disappeared and their fame has crested, sometimes the only thing Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Ben, and Viktor want is to be normal. . . which is much easier said than done, when you’re raised by someone like Hargreeves.

For their exacting and tyrannical father figure, nothing is ever enough; which is why, during a dinnertime debriefing on their latest mission, Ben snaps, prompting Klaus to suggest that they all need a change of scenery—just one night of partying like a bunch of average teens. In fact, Klaus knows just the place; there’s a frat house in a neighboring college town that throws weekend blowouts. What could go wrong?

They soon realize sneaking out of Hargreeves’s house—er, fortress—is the least of their concerns. When the six teens pledge not to use their powers under any circumstances, they fail to factor in the sheer force of teen drama. Faced with weird earthquakes, weirder partygoers, and a possible new foe, the Umbrella Academy must choose between the night they always dreamed of and an unexpected mission that may save the world and—finally—secure Hargreeves’s approval. END ID.]

The summary is from the book’s publishing website here: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/untitled-amulet-fantasy-ya-book-1_9781419766275/

[tua-five]

Season 3 Episode 8

⚠️⚠️ Season 3 Spoilers! ⚠️⚠️

Watching the beginning of today's episode, and all I can think of is the bloopers. "Look, people... what's my line?" "Gather around, Chicken! Chicken.."

This Ben is fun, though. "It's 'hadron.' Not 'hard on'. You moron."

The whole argument between Ben and Diego is childish. Cute and funny, but childish. And Five is like the annoyed brother just wanting to get things done. Oh, wait.

"So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late." Okay, pop off, Five.

"Well, we made some friends along the way."

"Incorrect! You know what we've done?" No, but I imagine you'll tell me. "Nothing. We made things worse every single time." Well, you're not wrong there.

... super long rant about how Five is done, he's giving up, gets sad, sits down. And Luther and sloane smile at each other.

"Well, on that... super happy note," right. Okay, Luther. "We've uh... oh, what the hell. We've got an announcement to make." 😍 "We're engaged!"

... cricket noises all around. Except for Ben's "Kill me, Jesus." Five's sigh, and Allison's "Now?"

And, of course, after Reginald comes back with Klaus, everything goes to crap and yada yada yada and mission this and Five takes Pogo's word over his own father (even tho he keeps saying he's not their father but now does) Luther walks over to Viktor to ask if he'll be his best man.

"Now say something nice about me. I dare you." Oh boy.

"You have a reasonably proportioned forehead." Oh. Well, it's not that ba— "which tells me you're considerate, yet easily excitable." Okay..

The bachelor party! "It's a duet, my friend." (Why can't I find that gif???)

Five singing I've had the time of my life is so... wholesome. He made that decision because he wants to show how much he loves them..

Omg and them all singing!???!!!!?! Imma cry 😢

Ben definitely cares more about not being invited to the bachelor party than anything else in the destroyed universe.

"You do realize there's no paparazzi here, right?" Oh, Viktor... don't start things..

"What? Dang it!" Okay, I'll admit, that was a little funny.

"Sloane... do you promise to love and cherish this big hairy bastard for the next... 24 to 48 hours?"

"Give or take a day!" Really, Five? Stop heckling and let them have their moment.

"I pronounce you married as shit!"

Woohoo!!

This whole wedding is so sweet. But Reginakd smiling is scary.

And the interaction with Lila and Diego with Reg is just awkward..

However... no one talks about how Reginald just knew that Lila was pregnant. And how he says Diego would've made a "superb father." Like... I know he's tryna make nice so he can manipulate them into project Oblivion but.. that sounded so genuine. Like..

Reginalds speech is awkward, and to add to it and make it worse, it keeps cutting to Viktor and Allsion..."will you forgive me?" ... "no." What the heck, Allison??

I love Chen...

And they all dance to happy music, but the music the viewers hear is so sad... it's all sad. This is the saddest episode.

I love Luther and Sloane and Lila and Diego and Five singing, and all of the dancing, and everything but it's all at the end of the world.

When Klaus brings Ben out, everyone's reactions are bad. No, no, don't bring him out yada yada. "As a welcome gift, I suggest we throw him off the roof." Oyt of everyone, I never really expected Five to say that. He's all about love and his siblings.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"It's Five, what do you think?" Nah.. he's fine.

He's just gonna eat cheerios with liquor as a substitute for milk, stumble, witness Allison making a deal with Reginald, and then pass out in an elevator. All good here.

The gifs!

[justafandomfollower]

I'm sharing my opinions about Umbrella Academy Season 4 in the form of thoughts about the character's arcs. I'm giving two ratings, one for internal character moments, and one for external relevance to the plot. The latter is harder to judge, given that the resolution of the plot was 'we can't do anything', but, I'm giving it a go anyway.

Throwing it all under the cut because it gets long. Really long.

TL;DR: I think the season got worse as it went on. For most of these characters, the early episodes were their best episodes (and the episodes I liked the best). Luther and Diego had decent character arcs, Viktor had a decent role in the overarching season long episode arc. Lots of bits were fun to watch, and remain so if you don't care about logic and plot. That's part of the fun of the Umbrella Academy, I think, but in this season it kinda fell flat for me. The ending itself wasn't so much disappointing as it was the way they got there.

Not saying I hated it, because I didn't, and I might even watch it again someday, but, well... 😐

Internally:

Luther: He didn't grow any this season, really, but he had some nice growth the previous seasons so I can't complain too much. I liked it when Luther was on screen, I liked his enthusiasm, his status as a 'lovable idiot', and I liked his obvious care for his family. Only downside was he didn't really have a purpose and didn't really seem interested in getting one. (And didn't mention Sloane enough, didn't even say he'd looked for her.) 4/5 stars.

Diego: He was an absolute idiot at times here, but I liked Diego's internal arc, the growth from wanting desperately to get back into the action to realizing what he has in his family was great, and it actually felt like a complete arc for the season. But while the idea was good, the execution was lacking (fat jokes anyone 😐). Also 4/5 stars.

Alison: What was her arc this season? I liked seeing her interact with both Claire and Klaus. I liked at the beginning when Lila had to drag her into the party. Otherwise... she didn't really have an arc? There were comments about her job (B-list) that went nowhere. There were comments about Ray that went nowhere. She didn't grow in her relationships or personal thoughts about herself, either positively or negatively. 1/5 stars.

Klaus: This one's... interesting. On one hand, the idea of him not wanting his powers back, getting them back anyway, and going off the rails is a good one. It fits his character. It was fun to watch him. I liked his interactions with Alison and Claire. I enjoyed his plot while it was on screen. But, even ignoring that it didn't fit in the season (that's the external assessment), it didn't go anywhere? Like, there was no regret at turning to drugs again or, opposite that, no real downward spiral. He can float now, but otherwise there's no fear of the ghosts. He gets rescued and then that's just it. Plot over. 3/5 stars for an interesting start to an idea that went nowhere.

Five: What was his arc this season? Finding love? Five's plot was just... weird. It was good at the beginning - he found a job in covert ops that brings him purpose - but then that went nowhere. His only purpose in season 1/2/even 3 was stopping the apocalypse and saving his family. Here he just... wanders around? Falls in love with his brother's wife/ex-coworker/person whose parents he killed in another timeline? 0/5 stars. Didn't like Five's character at all this season.

Ben: Separating Ben's internal arc from the external arc is difficult - because I don't think he had one. Again, no character arc, negative or positive. He forces his family to get their powers back against their will, then ditches them when he gets infected/irritated with them. That's it. The rest of his arc is just following in infected-love with Jennifer. 0/5 stars. Disappointing, even if he was fun in the first few episodes.

Viktor: Internally, this is difficult to judge. He had his confrontations with his father (or, alternate Hargreeves, anyway), which showed a culmination of 3 seasons of growth that I really liked. Like Luther, there's less growth here because he's done that already. I liked his confidence and how he was the one getting things done this season. The external plot was fine, but internally... He was doing it all for his family, but he also didn't even really ever spend time with them? During the season or the six years before? And yeah, family is complicated. IDK. I could be persuaded either way for Viktor. 3/5 stars because I'm on the fence.

Externally:

Luther. Didn't do anything to the external plot. Saved his siblings once (a nice moment), got his memories back, realized the CIA was dirty (which helped nothing), and otherwise was completely inessential. 0/5 stars.

Diego. Same as Luther. He only had one good moment I can recall of him using his powers in a fight, beyond the fight at the CIA. 1/5 because he provided the transportation for most of the season.

Alison. She bossed Reginald around a bit, but was nice, but then left to go rescue Klaus. 0/5 stars, didn't need to be there.

Klaus. He had the least involvement in the plot. He showed up to get shot so they (the writers) could get the marigold in him and that was it. -1/5 stars.

Five. One of the more plot relevant characters, because he figured out they just had to let things happen, but that realization came from one scene in the final episode. His plot with Lila was garbage. 1/5 stars.

Ben. Technically the most plot relevant of all, but, there was also literally no reason it had to be Ben that triggered the Cleanse, was there? 1/5 stars because we got some backstory from original timeline Ben.

Viktor. Literally the only one actually focused on saving the world this time. I'm giving him 5/5 stars because his arc was the only saving grace this season (regarding the season-long plot at least) and I liked seeing him interact with Reginald, even if it didn't really go anywhere.

Other character thoughts:

Lila: 🤮 I did like her comment to Diego that at least she took her issues out of the house instead of complaining all the time like he did. I liked her scenes at the end when she reunited with her family after years away and her obvious desperation to protect them. I even liked the way she told Diego they needed a break right before gagging him so he couldn't talk back, because that was quintessential Lila. Her relationship with Five, however, dominated the season, and I thought that was garbage. 2/5 stars.

Reggie: Okay, Reggie was great this season. An asshole, funny, seemed to grow to respect Viktor, had an inkling of a heart in there somewhere. 5/5 stars.

Abigail: I'm confused here? She set everything in motion to make up for what she'd done, but, also, like... was she ending her and Reggie's existence as well? The Umbrellas no longer existed, but were she and Reggie still alive? Was Reginald fine, just never released the marigold? IDK how I feel about her. I liked the reveal that she was Sy, but... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ She technically caused the whole plot by bringing together Ben and Jennifer, so, 3/5 stars I guess.

Gene and Jean: Didn't do anything. Fun to watch for a bit but got old; we didn't really know anything about them. 2/5 stars.

Jennifer: Who on Earth was this woman? We know nothing about her. I can excuse the hand-waving on her background but also, I didn't care that she died? And I didn't care about her relationship with Ben, which might not even have been real. 0/5 stars.

Claire. Nice interactions with Alison and Klaus, but not much to her. 3/5 stars because she was included at all after so much time spent talking about her.

[multifandom-aroace]

I watched umbrella academy recently mostly because I saw that there was a new season coming out and I actually ended up liking it.

But would someone please kindly explain what the fuck is going on in season 4?

(I haven't finished it yet I'm about halfway through episode 5)

the writing is very rushed and they dropped loads of storylines for no reason - they said Ray walked out but they didn't elaborate at all, it was six years later but they kept saying tings about five years I am just very confused about that,sometimes it feels like they completely forgot that viktor played violin even though it was his main thing in season 1, literally none of them helped klaus stay sober Allison mentioned it when he was about to drink the sake but they all jsut brushed it off and he didn't actually end up drinking it but none of them tried to stop him (although they already showed us in season 1 how little they cared about him when he got kidnapped and they all forgot about him), then there was the van scene which... Just why? I did not need a whole five minutes of listening to baby shark and watching people throwing up I literally had to skip through the whole scene it was too disgusting, and lila and diegos relationship like they barely showed us anything with them and their kids even though the whole first episode was about their child's birthday party?? then they started having conversations that they definitely should have talked about earlier in their marriage. The fact that Diego assumed that she was having an affair showed that there had either been trust problems in the past or Diego was just really good at foreshadowing because this leads me onto whatever the fuck happened with lila and five????? The age gap, the fact that they are in laws, the complete lack of chemistry they had until then because he was a fucking child but also a 60 year old man at the same time. Like, Five if five was about 60 when he first went back to 2019, it means that he was around 72 in his mind but about 25 physically and I just don't understand how the fuck that would sit right with anyone to make him and a married woman in her early forties (I assume based on the 6 year time skip and extra 6 years). I saw in the montage and I was jsut praying I was looking too deeply into it but no it was real and I was uncomfortable especially because of the fact that there is a 15 year age difference between the actors like he's technically it is legal yes but morally I don't like it.

honestly I could go on so much more

I really hate everything they have done to this season I should have stopped watching after season 2, but even season 3 was better than whatever the hell this was

[the-psudo]

Ukraine

Why does the United States prioritize Ukraine's survival and evolution into a modern market democracy? Why does Ukraine matter so much to the USA?

There are post-Soviet states with stronger democracies and market economies than Ukraine. There are also post-Soviet states that have slipped into dictatorship without much fanfare from the United States. Ukraine isn't the most promising nor the most oppressed. It is, instead, the post-Soviet state that is most on the fence. It is the post-Soviet state where international intervention is most likely to decide whether it becomes a free country or a dictatorship.

Twice in recent history, Ukraine nearly tipped into dictatorship only to see its own common people stand up in massive nationwide protests and pull their system back from the brink. In 2004, President Leonid Kuchma and Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych tried to drag their country into dictatorship, and the people rose up to throw them out of office in the Orange Revolution. They saved themselves from dictatorship, but did not reform their constitutional system to prevent future wanna-be dictators.

This was a classic example of a post-Soviet "color revolution," which replaces one ruling party with another without deeper reforms to the system of government. The 'color' is just the symbolism of the new party placed into power. The new party is never a dream come true perfect solution, but only not a dictator and therefore good enough for now.

Russia used the Orange Revolution as an excuse to occupy Crimea. Putin claimed it was to protect ethnic Russians in the area, but Ukraine maintains that ethnic Russians were not at risk. Putin just took the opportunity to reduce Ukraine's control over their own country.

The second time their people pulled them back from the brink of dictatorship was in the winter when 2013 turned into 2014. President Viktor Yanukovych was elected to balance the interests of Europe and Russia to keep Ukraine independent of both, but diplomacy collapsed on the essential agreement with Europe and the people took to the street protesting the slip towards domination by Russia. President Yanukovych cracked down brutally on these Euromaidan Protests. Police shot into crowds with rubber bullets, and then with live ammunition. But the people objected even more aggressively to this brutality. Resistance to the crackdown overtook the treaty as the dominant reason for the protests. The name changed from Euromaidan to just Maidan (pronounced "my dawn").

Then Yanukovych went too far. Parliament was simply told to vote or a bill without having a chance to read it, with threats of career death or even violence if they didn't. Once they'd been forced to pass it, it came out that it was a sweeping constitutional reform that made protests illegal, eroded rights of the accused, centralized power... it was exactly the change that would bring about dictatorship. The protests exploded into the Revolution of Dignity.

It was no longer just a color revolution, to replace the party in charge or about political ideology. Protestors from the left, center, and right all allied together, demanding the removal of the dictatorial constitutional reforms. More than that, a positive philosophy of 'dignity' began to arise, an ethical roadmap to becoming a truly free and independent country. The Ukrainian people wanted more than merely to prevent dictatorship, but also to escape the limbo between dictatorship and freedom. Like the American Revolution, they sought a new birth of freedom and independence, where the state is subservient to the people and the constitution closed the door against dictatorship forever.

The protestors for dignity overwhelmed the police who served the dictatorial reforms in Kyiv, so much so that the police abandoned the city. President Yanukovych fled the country, and was missing for weeks before turning up in Russia. Those who accused him of pushing for subservience to Russia saw in this confirmation of every accusation against him. Russia further confirmed this view by annexing Crimea entirely and occupying the far eastern parts of Ukraine, including the Donbas region. Clearly, they wanted Ukraine to be a dictatorship so they could rule Kyiv from Moscow.

But the people, by rising up this way, got what they wanted. The illegal and dictatorial reforms were rolled back, and the constitutional system of 2004 restored. New elections were held, and a new President chosen. For the second time, dictatorship had been avoided. International observers who had expected the Revolution of Dignity to devolve into a Reign of Terror like the 1799 French Revolution did were discredited when peace returned to Ukraine. The new President and Prime Minister worked to enact reforms that would establish impartial law and order (modeled after the United States), to eliminate authoritarian relics of Ukraine's Soviet past, and to push forward the new mandate of Dignity.

Though strong reforms were made, some Ukrainian people were disappointed with the pace of reform. They also wanted to see the previous regime that had almost dragged the nation into dictatorship tried for their crimes, but the Prosecutor General's Office wasn't prosecuting any of them. There was also very little done about the long-standing (and, among post-Soviet states, very common) problem of oligarchs, vastly rich owners of privatized national services, operating largely above the law and using their wealth and power to amass ever more wealth and power. Oligarchs like Mykola Zlochevsky, current CEO of Ukraine's formerly-nationalized oil and gas firm, technically had investigations pending against them, but criminal charges never came down. No one was arrested. No warrants were served. No news came out of the Prosecutor General's office at all. Was any real investigation happening at all?

Protestors across Ukraine (but especially in Kyiv) had been calling for the prosecution of Yanukovych's criminal regime all along. But by summer of 2015, they wanted the Prosecutor General replaced with someone who would actually prosecute the oligarchs and former regime, too. Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin became a symbol of government's willingness to protect government officials from prosecution for even the most serious of crimes. By September, international diplomats from the EU, UK, and USA had joined the protestors' calls for Shokin to be replaced with a real prosecutor, someone who would enforce the law fairly, along with general anti-corruption measures.

In October, the US State Department called on the White House to lend some authority to the diplomatic anti-corruption efforts. Then-President Obama decided he was too busy to take a trip to Eastern Europe, and tapped his Vice President to answer the State Department's call. The State Department sent Vice President Joe Biden his instructions in November, including specific instructions for him to demand that Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin be replaced. Armed with these instructions, Biden visited Ukraine in December of 2015, and issued them an ultimatum: remove Viktor Shokin and establish genuine equality under the law even for the elites, or the United States would withhold the military aid that helped keep Russia at bay. Biden returned to the United States, with his efforts praised by the US State Department as exactly what was needed. Viktor Shokin was still in office at this time, but members of Ukraine's parliament were picking up the call to have him removed.

Around this time, Shokin fired a deputy and tried to scapegoat him for lack of results in prosecuting oligarchs and the Yanukovych regime. This was obvious scapegoating, Shokin acting desperate to keep his job. The fired deputy became a whistleblower, exposing Shokin's plan of taking bribes from oligarchs in exchange for not actually working on the investigations against them.

Finally, on March 29th, 2016, the Ukrainian parliament voted to formally dismiss Shokin from office. Joe Biden later bragged that they fired Shokin "within days" after his visit, but in reality it took about three and a half months.

This is the true story of why Biden pressured Ukraine to fire Viktor Shokin as Prosecutor General, told from Ukraine's point of view.

Republicans have spun this story into one of Joe Biden getting Shokin fired purely to protect his son, Hunter Biden, who was then an employee of the oligarch-owned oil and gas company Burisma. But 1) Biden was only following the State Department's orders to him (issued November 2015) and the wishes of the Ukrainian people for equality under the law, 2) Shokin's removal was making investigation of Burisma possible, and 3) it's never been proven that Joe Biden even knew that Hunter worked for Burisma at the time. The only Ukrainian person who has defended Republicans' conspiracy theory at all is Viktor Shokin himself, and he needs it to be true in order to preserve his personal reputation. He has the strongest reasons to lie.

Congressional Republicans investigated these allegations thoroughly, even after the new Prosecutor General publicly reassured everyone that his office had no evidence implicating Hunter Biden in any crime whatsoever. Hunter Biden's name isn't even mentioned in their file on the investigation into Burisma, and Hunter didn't work there yet when the investigation was opened.

In all their investigations, House Republicans found exactly one piece of evidence for their story: the FBI had a statement from an unknown source claiming that Joe Biden had demanded a $15 million bribe from oligarch Mykola Zlochevsky, CEO of Burisma. Both Biden and Zlochevsky deny this ever occurred, it's unclear who made the claim, and even in their statement to the FBI they make clear that they didn't personally witness the alleged bribe. They just heard about it from another unknown source. This only amounts to a rumor, not to any real evidence.

The historical story of why Shokin had to go is already complete and comprehensible. No conspiracy story is needed to make it make sense, and no evidence justifies the conspiracy story. Looking at any of this from Ukraine's point of view quickly makes clear that the conspiracy story is too based on myths about Ukraine that only Americans believe and that Ukrainians overwhelmingly know to be false.

Why does Ukraine's survival matter so much to the USA? Because they're going through what we went through: a battle to be free of an oppressive empire that believes they own you. A quest to build a government dedicated to a new doctrine of human freedom and success. The promise that Ukraine holds is precious to all who wish humanity to live well. America knows what it's like to fight a revolutionary war for principles like those. That is why we're sending them billions of dollars of our military surplus, and paying US defense contractors to build us new materiel to replace the aid we've sent. We know what it is to be on the edge of the world, holding the promise of future generations and fighting for its survival. It's our defining story.

God bless America, and God bless the heroes of Ukraine!