#thus the soothe bell

[universallychaoticpan]

Walk me home~

bsd men walking you home when you're (both) drunk

(TW for brief references to alcoholism.)

(Dazai, Chuuya, Kunikida)

It wasn't like you had a low tolerance or anything; seriously, you could drink most people you knew under the table. But between the rich warmth of the summer night making you feel alive and the Dazai's deceptively adorable smile, you'd both passed tipsy about an hour ago.

But he was still in the right frame of mind to know there was no way in hell he was letting you walk home alone in the middle of the night. Nope. Kunikida could think he was an idiot all he wanted, but he had enough common sense (even while drunk) to know that that was a bad idea. And even though he trusted you to protect yourself, weapons and abilities hardly ever mixed well with alcohol.

Thus began your stumble back to your apartment, the two of you cackling madly every time you bumped into one another. Suddenly, all of his stupid joked were just hilarious, and his kisses tasted sweeter than nectar. He kissed you against streetlamps, sent you both tumbling into alleys as he tried to kiss you against walls, twirled you around as you giggled like a child. At a normal time, passersby would've scoffed at your behavior, and for good reason. But it wasn't a normal time- it was the middle of the night when the moon burned bright and high in the sky, when the taste of liquor on your tongues complimented the gleam in your eyes perfectly.

You were happy, giddy, in love- the night was warm and seemed to e holding its breath, waiting for something magic.

But you collapsed into the doorway of your apartment, still giggling between one another, his shirt collar in your fist as you pulled him into a kiss.

The next morning, you would wake up on the floor, his coat draped over you like a blanket as you used his chest as a pillow, his hand in your hair and a headache in your skull. But the morning didn't matter. All that mattered was your laughter, his mouth, and the stars swimming in your eyes, bright as galaxies.

You had been at the Mafia party for almost four hours now- that was after it had taken Chuuya days to convince you to go in the first place. But finally, you'd gotten dressed, fixed your hair, taken his breath away and attended on his arm.

And somehow, you managed to drink enough fine wine that your cheeks were flushed and your hair was falling fetchingly around your face.

You stood on the mezzanine of the grand room, watching people mingle and laugh below, listening to the soothing hum of chatter as you raised your glass to your lips again. Before you could take a longer sip, you felt a cool, gentle hand pulling the glass away.

"They really should warn people how easy it is to loose self control with this stuff." Chuuya's voice was like a balm on your hot skin as he slid his arm around your waist, standing beside you as he finished your glass. "You've had what, three glasses? And you've got that dreamy, far away look- like your just gonna close your eyes and float away." He snorted. "If I was a better person, I'd regret dragging you here."

You laughed, the sound escaping your lips like the ringing of bells.

"Don't be mad," you smiled. "if anything, be happy i now understand your appreciation for finery."

He smiles. "You're the finest thing in my life, so how about I get you out of here before we regret staying longer."

Too sleepy to argue, you let him lead you out of the grand room, the glitter of the party soon replaced by the gleam of the city at night. You stared out of the window of your car as you leaned against his shoulder, watching the city rush past in a blur of color and light, your eyes half closing as the warmth of the wine flowed through you.

"you know something?" you mused, only half conscious as Chuuya's hand rested gently on your shoulder. "Feeling like this..it's no wonder people are alcoholics."

Chuuya chuckled in spite of himself. "You wanna know something? When I tell you all about everything you said tonight in the morning, the look on your face is going to be sweeter than any wine."

You snorted, pushing at him playfully. "You're such a dick," you smiled.

"Yeah? Well I love you." He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you rested your head on his chest, a yawn forcing itself out of you.

"Shut up," you murmured, though not unknindly , the smile on your lips evident in your voice as you drifted off.

Kunikida had no idea how he'd gotten here.

The evening had been normal enough- some of the older agency members sticking around to chat after work, namely Dazai, Ranpo, Yosano, you, and himself. Then chatting turned to dinner, the five of you eating in a circle in the middle of the room. Then, dinner had turned into Dazai running out of the office in a hurry, returning ten minutes later carrying several bottles of cheap booze. After that- well things had gotten strange.

Kunikida wasn't a lightweight, but he also had a sort of self control the rest of you seemed to have lost. He sat on his chair, watching the rest of you roar with laughter at the stupidest things, watching you make up drinking games, watching you forget your troubles as you drank among friends.

But of course, all good things had to end. Eventually, everyone said their goodbyes, and went their separate ways. Which left you and Kunikida alone to walk the short distance to his apartment.

Now.

You weren't unsteady on your feet, but you had a tendency to wander even when sober. Whatever had been in your cup hadn't made that any different, so he made sure to keep his hand wrapped around yours lest you stumble into a light pole. He smiled in spite of himself as you mumbled happily to yourself, swinging your clasped hands between the two of you.

"You're an oddly adorable drunk you know," he muttered, a small, affectionate smile gracing his usually serious face.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," you replied, turning around and placing your hands on your hips like a pouting child. "I'm adorable all the time."

Kunikida snorted, but he didn't disagree as he walked you up the stairs to your place.

He let you get into bed and was about to go finish a few things when you reached out- reaching for him.

"Stay" you mumbled, face squished against your pillow. "Want you to stay here."

"Come on, y/n, I'll be back in a minute- just have to finish some things."

"Nope. Here. Now"

You stared at each other for a second, your eyes still challenging even in your giggly, drunken haze. Finally, he relinquished. You were the only one he'd do that for.

"You're such a brat you know," he said as he got into bed beside you, pulling you into him.

"Yeah I know," you replied.

"But you love me."

[satoluv]

2PM LOVE

synopsis in which you had a crush on yuta okkotsu since young.

note: # mentions of divorce. angst to comfort fluff! wc 1k +

Love. 

An intense feeling of deep affection for someone. As a child, you didn’t understand the meaning of love. Back then to you, love was books and books were your love. Sure, you received ample love from your parents and loved ones. The sneaky glances your parents throw at each other during family gatherings, the way your father opens the door for your mother like a gentleman, the way he soothed the goosebumps on your mother’s delicate skin with his calloused hands whenever she got cold. It’s the way their hips sway to their ‘anniversary song’ that echoes your humble abode across your living room, looking at each other with so much love. 

That, to you, was love; your parents' love for each other. Not that you’d say it out loud, of course. But someday, you will find love like your parents.

Growing up on the outskirts of Tokyo, you had a lovely childhood and you couldn’t ask for more. But it was all in vain. After 20 years of a blissful marriage, along with 3 children, your parents had a divorce. You weren’t quite sure what happened because they felt really in love. It also hit you when your father had to move out alongside your two siblings, leaving you and your mother alone on the outskirts of Tokyo. 

You wanted to be mad when you found out that just after 2 months of being divorced, your father had found himself a newer and younger lover. Never had you felt so betrayed. You felt angry and sad, for your mother who hides her pain with a sweet smile, assuring you that she’s not affected by it. But in reality, you know it’s a facade when you can hear her muffled sobs every night. 

From then on, you didn’t believe in love and promised to never fall in love. Thus, you grew up finding solace and comfort deep inside your books.

After 2 years of your parent’s divorce, you met a boy.

In front of your mother, you pretended that falling in love was a sin, you confidently vowed to never fall in love but why does your heart skip a beat whenever you see the boy with disheveled black hair and dark blue eyes? Why does your hand get so sweaty whenever your fingers brush his? When you told your mother about the situation you were in with your big doe eyes, she couldn’t help but laugh saying you have developed a crush. 

A crush on a boy named Yuta Okkotsu? 

You first met Yuta at a local bookstore not too far away from your neighbourhood. Every day, at 2pm, without fail you’ll catch him reading in the corner of the store, giggling to himself. What a weird boy. Perhaps he was reading a comedy series? You didn’t know what came to you that day, the ground beneath your feet swept you towards that young boy’s direction. He slowly shifted his gaze from the book to you. 

Embarrassed, you struck up a conversation “uhhh hi! what book are you reading?”. 

You have been friends ever since. He’d meet you outside your door, waving your mom goodbye before racing each other to the bookstore. You visit there so often that the owner recognizes you two. Once, you fell asleep on Yuta’s shoulder while his cheeks were on top of your head with a book in hand. The owner, Ms Belle, cooed at the adorable sight.   

He spent so much time with you that he’s grown attuned to you and your little habits. The way you stomp your feet when something exciting happens – like when the main character decides to finally confess to his crush. He knows you like to run your fingers along the shelves. He knows how you hate folding the edges of your paper so for your 8th birthday, he got you a bookmark with your name engraved.

One word to describe you and Yuta would be inseparable. You’d do things together. You’d have a sleepover at his house on some nights, and some at yours. He knows how much you hate crowds, so he would hold onto your pinky while he leads you both to a more quiet, and safe place. 

You were 9 years old when you finally realised that you had a crush on Yuta Okkotsu. However, you were also 9 years old when you had your heart broken, by a boy besides your father. He had to move to the other side of the world, far from Tokyo, Japan. His absence left you all alone again. The worst part of all, you didn’t have a chance to tell him that you liked him.

Perhaps you were right. You won’t believe in love and promise to never fall in love. Although deep down behind closed doors, love –your parents once shared, was all you craved for.

10 years later. Everything has changed. You grew taller, no longer the shortest in class. Your voice matured. Everything changed, even the the childhood bookstore closed down when you were 11. You no longer have a crush on Yuta Okkotsu. Lies. You’ll remember him forever.

Glancing at your Apple Watch, it read 2pm. You had to meet your friends at 2.30pm at the train station but since you were already early, you decided to stop by the newly opened bookstore.

The distinct aroma of earthy with a hint of vanilla from the pages of books that were stacked neatly on a wooden shelf instantly made you relaxed, like you were at home. Like a muscle memory, you run your fingers along the shelves, a habit of yours while trying to find a book that catches your attention. Abruptly, your fingers came to a stop. Your eyes lingered on a certain book. You were so deep in the thought you didn’t realise someone coming up to you. 

“The Love Hypothesis, huh?” 

That voice. His voice was honeyed yet soft spoken.

You shifted your gaze to your right where the stranger is. He’s taller than you, but not that tall, his hair no longer disheveled. Black hair and dark blue eyes carrying a radiant gentle smile that could probably light up the sky. —the same smile he carried in the past.

Your eyes lit up. “Yuta Okkotsu?”

fml i really really dont like how this turns out but i just had to clear from my drafts. i love yuta sm.. and i m so sleepy rn happy 2024 my loves 🩷

likes and reblogs appreciated! 💕💕 pls be kind to me

my other works <3

@ satoluv do not plagiarize, translate, or rewrite my writings without my permission !

[mccnstruck]

like LIKE you

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: fluff, misunderstanding, more crack, reader is DENSE af, proofread, op was writing this while their crush was right behind them so they apologize if this is incoherent

a/n: @soleillunne ALY !1!!! HIIIII i had so so much fun writing this for kazuha and i hope you have much fun reading it as i did writing it!! this is for @ecrin-de-litterature's kiss don't tell event !! pls reblog and enjoy <3

- When you almost lost yourself in his eyes and hurriedly snapped your head away from him, you knew you were so screwed.  - Your racing heart knew.  - He’s cute. And he most likely knows that you think he’s cute. - You first saw Kazuha in your literature class when you had to sit next to him. He smiled at you before going back to his own work, thus leaving you both to do your respective duties.  - But as the weeks passed and class discussions were more frequent, you found yourself enjoying listening to Kazuha’s discussions on the text presented, sometimes bringing in your own input.  - His voice soothed your mind, and your heart clung onto every syllable he had spoken. His eyes sparkled everytime you listened to his thoughts-  - Ahem.

You were, inevitably, starting to crush on him. 

You walked into class and whispered a quiet prayer to yourself in hopes that you wouldn't reveal anything to him right now. 

And plus, Valentine's Day is such a cheesy day to confess! Besides the couples giggling and buying the really good chocolates, and seeing people talk to Kazuha, and noticing how cute he is when he laughs…

You internally smacked your head and chided yourself for the spiraling thoughts and sat in your seat. 

Kazuha smiled at you, before he resumed talking with with his friends. His friends snickered and patted his shoulder, before he covered his smile with the back of his hand. 

Huh. He never really gets flustered. Did he…

The bell rang, and his friends left the class, yelling out “Good luck!” before closing the door. 

Kazuha sat down and smiled at you once more, yet it was filled with excitement. “I’m sorry I didn’t greet you properly.”

You shook your head and smiled back. “It’s fine. Are you doing anything today?”

“For Valentine’s?”

You shook your head. 

“I was thinking of confessing to someone today. I’m meeting them by my locker after school.”

“You have a crush?!” 

Damnit, you thought.  

He laughed, and a soft red tinted his cheeks. “Mhm. I was thinking of sending them a poem with some sweets today.”

He showed you the gift and you internally recoiled. The gift was so unbelievably throughout, with your favorite sweets inside, along with a poem so sweetened the other person would become dizzy with love. It was beautiful, just like the grin on his face. 

Your heart shattered, and you wondered what you would do after school if you still had time after crying. 

“Kazuha…you put this together so nicely…” 

His grin widened, and he put the gift down. “I’m really glad you like it. It gives me a little bit of reassurance.” 

The teacher walked into the room, and both of you straighted your chairs to start the class. 

“So, because it’s Valentine's Day, we will do an activity…” 

Well, thank the teacher for rubbing it into your face.

Class went on for a begrudgingly long time, and the ache in your heart began to grow. Kazuha noticed your solemn expression and brushed your hands together. When you straightened yourself in a panic, you saw his face of concern. 

“Are you alright? You look stressed right now.”

“Uh.. yeah. Sorry, I have a project for another class that’s really stressful right now.”

He nodded, and you both resumed your work. The teacher droned on about the analysis of the text and the context of the author’s work, yet you couldn’t really get yourself to focus, not with this heartache that remains.

A thought rushed past your mind. What if this was for you?

You? That’s funny, if it didn’t hurt so much. There’s no point thinking about it anyways.

After some more time, class finally ended, and you packed your bag while Kazuha stood up. 

“Ah, I have to head out, I have something urgent to do for a class.” 

He put his hand on your shoulder and smiled. 

“I hope you finished this project of yours. Just let me know if you need anything, alright?”

You snapped your head back and felt your face burn. “Oh, thank you. I’ll see you later.” 

Kazuha left the room and you almost felt yourself succumb to the hot flare that passed your body. Your shoulder, where his hand was, almost felt weak to the touch, and you barely packed up your bag without having a heart attack. 

You looked to the floor and saw Kazuha’s gift underneath his desk. Quickly picking it up, you grabbed your bag and said your greeting to the teacher, before leaving the classroom. 

It was your free period, and you would finally decide on what to do with Kazuha’s gift. You wouldn’t want him to show up to his confession empty handed, or worse, his crush not show up at all. So, you would wait by his locker and make sure you run out before then. Alright. 

Well… it would be alright if it didn’t hurt so much.

And so, classes went on, droning about formulas and equations, and the minutes wouldn’t stop ticking, and your mind wouldn’t stop thinking of who would be the receiver of his gift. When the final bell rang for the day, you took the gift and rushed down the hallways to find his locker.

Except… there’s no one there waiting for him. 

A little concerned, you decided to wait to either give it to Kazuha or whoever was waiting for him.

But the minutes had steadily gone by, and you started to worry whether the person even got a message from him. 

“Ah…There you are.”

Kazuha’s face beamed as he got closer, and you laughed at the sight of him. 

“Here's your gift that you left behind.” You extend your hand to him, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Hm?”

Surprised by his reaction, you were silent as your own eyebrows furrowed. 

“This…this isn't yours? Kazuha, are you sure you're in the right mind?” 

“That's yours.” 

“But, you left it there?! Kazuha, what are you on?” 

“Why do you think I left it there?” 

Your mind blanked, and you looked at him with panic. 

“Kazuha, you left it there. I am here to give it to you.” 

Kazuha started laughing and covered his face with his hands. 

“You are so… I left it there for you.” 

You stayed silent for a second. Then another.

“What?!”

Now that you think of it, Kazuha is never forgetful. And the way he looked at the gift multiple times, and the way he knew of your favorite sweets, and the way he looked at you… 

You covered your face in embarrassment, yet your smile grew into a grin. 

“You could've told me, Kazuha…”

He took your hands and clasped them in own.

“Well, you are aware now, and I am sure you are aware of what I want to ask, dove.” 

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes flickered between him and the gift. 

“Hm? Dove?”

You failed to response, as your body was still in shock and in complete utter denial. 

You finally spoke. 

“Why?”

Kazuha smiled at you and took your intertwined hands to his chest, right where his heart was. 

“Well, ask my beating heart. I assure you it beats the syllables of your name every time I see you.”

You swore to every archon that this man right in front of you would somehow be the cause of your death as well. 

“So, dove, will you be my valentine?”

mccnstruck

[intuitive-divinations]

Your soul is a student 🌟 … what is it learning? 🔍

Hello lovelies 😝 ! Today we’re going to divine why your soul ⚛️ incarnated on earth . So take a few deep breaths then use your intuition to pick an image. Let’s get started💜!

✨ Pick - A - Picture ✨

Look at how gorgeous these images are 😍!

Picture 1 💜

#51 Sound of the Universe, 5 of Swords Reverse, The Moon, Queen of Coins, Knight of Swords, 9 of Coins,

Group 1 your soul is here to explore the music of life! 🥹🎶 This pile reminds me of the saying “March to the beat of your own drum “. Channeled song:

I’m hearing right now you’re creating your own soundtrack for your life’s journey. Music is going to be a type of portal for your soul. My guides said that you should use music to heal your chakras if you haven’t already. It can help you find your authentic self. You have the ability to use music to shift and create your reality. You also have great potential to be a pioneer in the music industry. I’m hearing you could create/discover an entirely new genre of music 🎼 .Your soul is attracted to music because it soothes and brings peace to it☮️. You could also enjoy listening to music while working on another creative/artistic passion 🎨 . Music could enhance your creativity thus enhancing your projects. I’m also seeing you might find new ways to use music to heal others 🫂 🥹! Your spread is advising you to keep experiencing/experimenting with your connections to music 🖋️. Explore what music means to you. 💃

Confirmations: Yellow butterflies/birds 🐦🦋 , 111, 333, garden pinwheels, ballet 🩰, tuning forks, dowsing rods, watermelon 🍉, ladybugs 🐞 , bells 🔔, water 💧 sounds

Picture 2 💜

#20 Sound the Mind, 4 of Cups, The Magician, Knight of Coins, 8 of Swords, 4 of Coins, King of Cups

Group 2 , you all are my alien superstars👽🌟. Channeled song:

Your energy is otherworldly 🛸 🌌! I feel like you are a starseed. Your soul is very empathetic. I’m envisioning your soul as a child of the stars ⭐️ . You may feel lonely and misunderstood. Or possibly as though you don’t belong here. You’re not wrong about being different. You’re 🎶UNIQUE🎶 ! I’m seeing that your soul desires to share it’s divine wisdom. Specifically about the potential of the mind 🧠 . 👁️ In your own way, you will teach others how to free themselves. But first you have to break through your own self limiting beliefs, fears and negative patterns 🌀. Your mind is very flexible and quick with thoughts 💭 . On the other hand, you’re someone with a lot of mental chatter! You might be so overwhelmed with your thoughts that they eventually hinder your decisions🌪️. For example, you could feel pressured to make a lot of decisions in the heat of the moment. Which you then find out were the wrong choice. I’m hearing that you will find all the answers you need once you learn to quiet your mind. You can start connecting with your inner wisdom by taking as long as you can before making decisions. Mastering your mental/emotional selves and spreading that wisdom is very important to your soul. Your knowledge will aid in elevating the collective consciousness!

Confirmations: meditation, yoga 🧘‍♀️, self-care 🧖🏽‍♀️, vacations, pearls, crystals , animal-lover, empath, old soul, constellations, astrology, astronomy 🔭, astral projection, the color indigo, feeling like you’re running out of time ⌛️ , headaches/migraines, multiple past-lives

Picture 3 💜

#48 Surrender, Temperance, 5 of Swords, 3 Swords, The Wheel of Fortune, The Tower, 10 of Cups, 9 of Coins

Immediately, I’m feeling that your soul is here for a simple reason. Channeled song:

The human experience! Your soul craves to understand the lows and highs of the human experience. From humanity and death to relationships and society. Your soul is here to experience it ALL and then TRANSCEND. For some of you, I feel that you have a phoenix as a spirit animal. I’m imagining you rising from your ashes. You may notice that common themes throughout your life include renewal and rebirth. I definitely feel Scorpio ♏️ /Libra ♎️ placements could be significant. Your soul will come to understand the importance of both endings and beginnings. You will have alot of tower moments through life. No matter what you will always emerge stronger than ever. I was struggling to remember who your energy reminded me of and it’s Wanda!⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

Wanda’s story is very similar especially with her experiences involving grief, loss, vulnerability, finding her way through life, etc. We’re told that the scarlet witch is forged and not born. I feel that your soul is creating and shaping this particular human experience. Be cautious though. Don’t let your human experiences break your soul.

Confirmations: ants 🐜 , roses 🌹, vultures, roadkill, daffodils, recent breakup❤️‍🩹, 🕷️ , something burning 🔥 , mermaids, peacocks 🦚, lotus 🪷 flower, bow and arrow 🏹, rapunzel 👑, anklets, tattoos/piercings, death of a loved one, dejá vu, north node

Thanks so much 😽!!

[that-one-p00k1e]

Coincidence?

Muichiro x Fem!Reader, lil High school AU

Warnings: none just fluff Ig Idk bro

Note: Wowzers!!😱😱 I'm still alive!!😱😱 This was a bit rushed because I wanted to post something after so long and bcs IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WHAATT🤯🤯 crazy amirite anw pls forgive the grammar and how boring this is

Nothing felt better than hearing the last bell of a school day ring, knowing that the days after were the end of the week. The heavenly images in your head of finally being able to lay in bed, cuddled up in a warm blanket after taking a good relaxing shower.

However, instead of immediately going home, you decided to head to the park near the school to have a breath of fresh air. Fortunately, it seems to be vacant with no one on sight occupying it.

The rustling of leaves blown by the wind, the smell of fresh grass and dirt, and the silence that brought the feel of peace and tranquility. But the one thing that had always caught your attention, was the cherry blossom tree planted at the center of the park. For you, it was the most beautiful sight in the park. Almost never has its beauty failed to captivate passersby.

As you decided to take a seat underneath the tree, you noticed a familiar backpack laid on the ground. Thinking it could be anyone's and not just the specific familiar person you know who owns that exact same object, you reluctantly and carefully looked to the back of the tree to see who the mystery owner was. ‘Probably a random stranger’ you easily thought. But oh how wrong you were as your heart dropped the moment your eyes settled on the known figure.

Under the falling petals of cherry blossom he sat; beautiful mint-green eyes fixated on the strings of his guitar, fingers carefully strumming a melody that could soothe one's nerves. His long black hair gently swayed in the wind, coloured ends that matched his  irises. You've always admired him since the first day of high school; managing to get a few interactions here and there through group work. As much as you wanted to get to know him better, the charming and attractive classmate had his own walls built when it comes to the social environment. Not even the guys in your class could make him crack a bit of a smile. Thus, you've accepted such defeat ever since.

But seeing him being so peaceful right now, enjoying himself in his own world, made it hard for you to bat your eyes away from him. You couldn't help but just gaze in awe at the sight of such beauty.

Until his fingers suddenly stopped playing through the guitar strings.

The moment he perked his head up, you immediately hid yourself behind the other side of the tree; heart almost stopped working. You hear him getting up, walking closer and closer to where you once stood. As your breath hitched, you tried to act cool in case the both of you went face-to-face. You hoped you wouldn't, but fate unfortunately had its own plan.

“Y/N?” a deep yet gentle voice called out to you from the side of the tree, making your heart race faster than it already had been. He looked at you with a gaze oh-so empty; making it difficult to look through that stoic disposition of his.

“Oh! Uhh… yeah, it's me. Fancy seeing you here,” you greeted awkwardly, fidgeting the hem of your shirt from the embarrassment you felt deep down.

You thought he would be reluctant to engage further in the conversation, but to your surprise, he proceeded to ask another question.

“It's your birthday today, isn't it?”

The moment his words entered your hearing, it felt as if your organs were rearranged.

“I- uhh… How did you know?”

“Heard your friends mentioning about it. Forgot to give you this.”

He rummaged through his bag, before pulling out a box wrapped in gift paper and handing it to you with that blank stare maintained.

“For you. In addition to your birthday,” he said reluctantly.

You hesitantly took the gift from his hand, internally debating if this was a dream or not. Before you could word out your gratitude, he quickly picked up his belongings and threw a short “My bus is here, gotta go,” leaving you on your own with your thoughts; trying to process what just happened. You looked down at the gift he had given you, then pinched yourself to double check reality. Yet there was one thing you didn't put your mind into.

If he recently knew about your birthday from your friends today… How did he forget a gift regarding something he had never known about in the first place?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Dearest Rollo, if you meet the Righteous Judge himself in person, what would you do?

DISCLAIMER: Whatever I write here does NOT reflect my own opinions about Frollo or any of the beliefs he held. I strongly disagree with and condemn what he stands for. In this post, I am creating through the viewpoint of a character that has a warped understanding of what Frollo was truly like, and thus I am using this perspective to inform my creative writing.

Like Fire, Hellfire.

A spark lit in Rollo's dark, gloomy eyes. His thin lips curved into a semblance of a smile--too small to be considered in full, but enough to register as different from the null expression he typically showed the world.

"My, what a thoughtful inquiry," he mused softly, uncharacteristically enthralled. "How kind of you to ask."

Rollo ran a finger across the red jewel set in his ring. Contemplative. "Were I to be graced with the presence of such a venerable man... Fufufu. I would humbly confess my admiration, confide that I strive each day to live up to his ideals. More importantly, I would like to discuss a great many things with him. Someone of his stature and moral compass would no doubt have a great deal of wisdom to share."

His eyes shone fondly with a newfound fire. Warmth crept into his voice, kindling a controlled excitement.

"I would invite him to walk alongside me in the City of Flowers," Rollo continued. "Surely he would be proud to gaze upon the place he has spent so long protecting and what it has blossomed into. The people prosperous, businesses booming, the peaceful song of the bells every morning, afternoon, and night..."

It was odd, you thought to yourself, how the same person who was once cackling about destroying all mages and pulling trap door levers was now quietly fanboying. I guess we all that capacity in us.

"We would stop at a bakery I frequent, perhaps share a light meal there. Bread, cheese, and grape juice. It would be a golden opportunity to become acquainted with him on a more personal level. Men allow for their true selves to shine over shared food. Beyond history and law, what I wish to discuss with him most of all is..."

Rollo found himself hesitating.

In his imagination, he was seated before the famed figure, prostrating himself. The Righteous Judge silently stared down at him. Watching, listening.

The busy bakery faded away to nothingness, and the table assumed the form of a confessional booth. It was him and the Righteous Judge, parishioner and pastor.

"Sir, I implore you. Please advise me. Guide me. Grant me your insight," Rollo begged. "Truthfully, I am... lost. I thought what I was doing was correct. That it was just. In his name, I dedicated myself to this cause, the crusade against dastardly mages--but I was not able to recognize those ambitions to the fullest."

Tears pricked his vision then. The stony-faced judge said nothing, did nothing.

"Now I am left with only the ashes and cinders of that broken dream, questioning what is right and what is wrong. I fear that my faith is wavering, that those vile villains have somehow tainted my soul."

His voice cracked like delicate glass.

"Your judgment is always absolute yet fair. Tell me then. What must I do to attain salvation? To soothe the fire that crawls and burns under my skin? To finally be at peace...?"

Finally, the judge's mouth moved, Rollo couldn't make out the answer. He was forbidden from that knowledge.

It was all meaningless noise. Garbage sounds. Nonsense. An answer, obscured.

Rollo closed his eyes and held his tongue. A sharp intake of breath. Then--

"... Well, you needn't know the details."

"Whaaat?!" you cried, pouting. "You're seriously going to leave me off with a cliffhanger like that? You were just getting to the juiciest part!!"

"I've already said enough. No, perhaps I've said too much."

"Keep talking!! I wanted to hear the rest of it!!"

Rollo folded his arms. "You already received quite the sufficient response. To ask more of me would be to cave to your greed. Be grateful that I was in a good enough mood to entertain the question."

[after-witch]

"KUNIKUZUSHI! Don't you dare ignore me, I don't care if your henchmen hear me yelling!"

notes: yandere, forced marriage, some misogny and classism

You would never claim that your husband was known for his delicacy, yet the word delicate is what comes to mind as his entire being immediately pivots and begins stepping towards you in one fluid, horribly graceful motion. His steps are light; almost a mimicry of ordinary steps, doll-like, and if it weren’t for the bells on his hat, no one would hear him coming. You aren’t the only one who has been surprised on occasion by his sudden appearances.

Yet the delicacy of his movements are utterly betrayed by the ugly frown twisted on his beautiful face. You only have the luxury of focusing on it for a few moments before he grips the collar of your dressing gown and yanks you toward him in one harsh, swift movement.

“Have you lost your senses, woman?” The words are hissed low. “I did not give you my name so you could shriek it out like some ragged pauper screaming at her chickens.”

Your lips press together in a grim line. Oh, yes, you were used to his insults about your heritage, all wrapped in his unfortunate desire to present you to the world--but mostly to himself--as some sort of ethereal noblewoman’s wife. All quiet grace and charm.

Yet it wasn’t the life you were born into, nor did such lofty manners come easily to you. They seemed rather pointless at times, especially since you eventually realized that he liked you best when you were at ease in private, eager to engage with him on a more intimate level than any noblewoman would ordinarily do for her dear husband. It was all a show, one you both put on to different degrees.

“Yet you did give me your name to use,” and the small dip of your head as you speak is both a mockery of the manners he’s instilled in you and a gesture ingrained through months of tedious, irritating training. “And I saw fit to use it thus, since I was speaking to you as my husband, and not my lord.”

“Am I not both?” He muses, and his voice is tight, but the fingers gripping the fabric of your gown loosen anyway. “You certainly know better than to raise your voice to your lord and husband. Are you so ill-trained?” He lifts your chin with a finger, chiding, but there’s a bit of warm teasing in his voice that contrasts against the  coolness of his skin.

You know enough about Scaramouche to know that the situation is on its way to defusing significantly, if not entirely, and you know exactly how to present yourself to soothe the electric irritation you’ve sparked with your outburst.

You lean your chin forward, guiding him to take your face in his hand, and he does. Your eyelashes flutter and you look at him with as much pleading as you can summon.

“Will you answer the question I asked, then, instead of leaving me without another word?” And if your tone becomes softer, if your voice is tinged with something akin to neediness and loneliness, it’s not entirely for show. “Please, my lord, my husband…” 

You wait, for effect, before dealing your finishing blow in a tone far sweeter than the one you used to keep him here earlier. “Kunikuzushi?”

He regards you with eyes that have taken in every inch of your body a thousand times. Sometimes you wonder if he has the power to read minds or to see inside souls. You don’t ask, because the answer might just frighten you.

“All right. We’ll pass through your village once. I expect there to be tributes. And don’t imagine that you’ll be staying for more than an hour or so.”

Your smile is far more gracious than the limitations he’s placed on you, but you don’t mind. Perhaps you can talk him into more later.

“Thank you, my lord.”

He gives your chin a harsh squeeze before letting it drop.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. I’m not a fool. I agreed only to spare myself more of your shrewish behavior.”

“Of course, husband,” you say, watching him leave.

He is not a fool, it’s true. But neither are you.

[lokisgoodgirl]

Sleigh Ride: Winter Warmers Collection [Loki x Fem. Reader]

Part of the Winter Warmers Collection A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: Loki organises a romantic, moonlit sleigh ride. But somehow, things still get pretty hot. (w/c 1.5k) Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut. Language. Fluffy too.

“Open your eyes, darling.”

Loki’s breath fogged the air as you did what he asked; feeling the soft leather of his gloves slide gently from your eyelids.

“Oh my god...Loki!” you squealed, hopping from foot to foot.

The snow crunched beneath your boots as you spun on the thickly blanketed ground, a gleaming white under the low floodlights. You threw your arms over his shoulders, drawing him into an excited kiss as his hands looped around your lower back.

“Do you like it?” he murmured, his warm breath soothing the evening chill resting on your skin.

You nodded, turning back in amazement to the two beautiful chestnut horses waiting patiently on the curved driveway of Tony’s country house. Jingle bells adorned their harnesses, tinkling gently as they shuffled against the snow.

An ornate sleigh of deepest green sat behind them, shining in the moonlight.

Making your way forward, you ran a gloved hand over the glossy neck of the nearest horse. It turned its head, nosing your arm. “They’re absolutely wonderful, Lokes...is this...is this just for us?” you said, already knowing the answer.

“Of course, darling” he huffed, throwing a glance towards a roar of his brother’s raucous laughter from the house. Shadows danced behind the curtains, the Avengers winter getaway in full swing. “As if I would organise a romantic sleigh ride for anyone else…”

You turned, drinking in the sight of him standing majestically with his long dark coat swirling in a very cape-like manner. The thought made you smile as he extended his hand with a coy tilt of his head, one foot resting on the dip in the side of the vintage sleigh.

“My Winter Queen…” he purred. “Your carriage awaits.”

You raised your eyebrows with a playful smirk, “Not just for winter, I hope…” you quipped, feeling his grip on your hand tighten as you hopped into the sleigh. A reindeer pelt was folded at the side, a thermos and two mugs placed against it.

Shuffling into the seat, you smiled like a loon as the handsomest man in the world, nay...the universe, arranged himself with a flourish.

He unbuttoned his coat, fanning the sides before sinking with one arm around your shoulders, tipping his sharp jawline upwards as he looked at you with a self-satisfied grin. Curls fell haphazardly over his dark green scarf, your present to him. Even Gods can catch a cold, you’d said earlier, relishing the light-hearted roll of his eyes.

“Onward, then.” he said decisively, gripping the leather reins with one hand and giving them a quick flick.

The lights of the country house grew further away, but there was never darkness. The full moon shone above, bathing the countryside in a mysterious, ethereal glow.

Loki’s fingers curled protectively on your shoulder, even when you unfolded the reindeer pelt and snuggled it up to cover you both. You leant back on his chest, reshuffling your legs to fit beneath the edges.

“Perhaps you could sit on my lap, love.” Loki said, a smile curling at his lips as he stared ahead, muffled clips and clops sounding on the beaten track. “You could take the reins?” he added innocently after a pause, as if that created greater incentive.

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of responsibility.” you toyed, scooting ungracefully onto his wide lap beneath the pelt. His chin nestled into the curve of your shoulder, lips finding a sliver of bare skin above your scarf. He hummed against it, his cold mouth warming with every flex of the gentle kiss against your neck.

Minutes passed. You could feel his cock hardening; thickening with every shift of your body against the sway of the sleigh. Without thinking, your hips began to rotate gently, teasing him wordlessly as the beauty of the moonlit countryside slid past.

“Gods, darling...why must I always be in need of you thus.” he moaned gently behind you, hips thrusting upwards against your ass. You pressed down on the hard column straining against his thigh, relishing the needy whine of pleasure it produced.

“Maybe we could get a little closer...what do you say?” you said coyly, casting a glance over your shoulder.

His lips were parted, a cloud of frosted breath exhaling gently as those beautiful eyes flickered upward.

Loki’s face in the moonlight was breath-taking, the chiselled lines of his bone structure radiant in the half-lit winter paradise which surrounded you. Beside the darkness of the high-collared coat, his skin glowed; matching the fields and hedgerows blanketed with heavy snow against the midnight sky.

“Hold these.” he murmured, pressing the reins into your gloved palms before covering your hands with his.

The feeling of sinking into a hot bath washed over your lower body, the familiar firmness of his taut muscles suddenly flush to your naked skin. “Just the trousers?” you chuckled, nuzzling into his cheek.

He tutted. “And the panties, my love. You would catch your death if I removed it all. And whatever they may say, I am a gentleman.”

His hands slid beneath the blanket, fingertips pressing against your waist as he raised you deftly before sinking you down his waiting length. The horses snorted in surprise as you and Loki groaned in tandem, your head falling back against his neck before you both giggled like teenagers.

“I’m not sure the horses would agree you’re a g-gentle-fuck,-man…” you muttered through a panted moan as he filled you slowly with a careful thrust. Loki let out a stuttered laugh, choking into a guttural moan as he bottomed out.

“Oh g-gods, your so tight darling. So hot.” Loki muttered against your ear, his deep voice warming the depths of your soul. “Does that feel good, my sweet one?”

Your hips thrust forwards, rocking against the base of his cock; every graze of his girth sending sizzling sparks through your body. His name fluttered from your lips like foam on waves, echoing every careful caress of his manhood snug inside your core.

“Watch the road…” he whispered through a smile, guiding your clenched fists to the side as the horses swerved a hedgerow. You whined, opening your eyes reluctantly. “I can’t, Loki...it feels too f-fucking g-good…”

“Oh dear…” Loki purred darkly. You could hear him smirking as you squirmed. “I better not do this then.”

You hadn’t noticed one of his hands sliding covertly over your parted thighs; calves tightening against his legs as Loki began to rub your clit in circles beneath the reindeer pelt.

Your hips bucked upwards, biting your bottom lip to stifle a high-pitched cry. The god hissed behind you, a low aaaaa rumbling in his throat as your pussy clenched around him.

It had begun to snow again.

“Move for me, darling – like you’re riding one of those pretty horses.” he growled darkly, before sucking your earlobe; pulling it outward between his teeth.

The words set you aflame, tightening the grip of your walls around his cock as you drew upward.

The leather of the reins wound around your fingers, keeping the animals straight as you fucked your god below. Warm wetness slid against your centre with fluid strokes up and down his length, glancing backwards longingly as he moaned your name to the endless night.

Loki’s head had fallen back, tendrils of snow-speckled hair falling over his shoulders. His scarf was untucked from where it had been nestled pristinely in the neck of his coat. Dishevelled, you thought with a secret smile.

His fingers stroked your clit in waves, the perfect pressure mounting; the root of his cock tugging against your base at every roll of your hips. Your face turned upwards toward the open sky, light flakes drifting on the gentle breeze; melting on the surface of your heated cheeks.

You gripped the reindeer pelt draped across your lap, the smart of tight leather cutting through your gloves from the reins. Loki let out a long growl, tapering to a whine as he came slowly undone.

“That’s it, darling...t-that’s it. Uhhhh...fuck, r-ride me hard, s-sweet darling, yes...yes…”

You whimpered, feeling your thighs begin to shake. Loki’s free hand gripped the pelt at your hips, pulling it down in a tight fist; pressing you as deep as physically possible on his magnificent cock. “Loki, f-fuck I’m c-coming...I’m- uhhh-”

His fingers pulsed above your aching bundle of nerves, rocking you over the precipice as he claimed you with shallow thrusts; tipping the balance.

Your head fell back, a moan of his name filling the frozen country air as he mouthed messy kisses on your neck. The god let out a muffled cry against your skin as he came, his legs juddering beneath yours as he bottomed out with a final thrust into the warm heat he craved.

The horses walked on, hooves hitting the virgin snow the only sound above Loki’s shallow pants.

His forehead rested on your cheek, your hand feeling backwards to pull him closer; fingers combing through his hair. “I love you, darling.” he murmured through broken breaths. You hummed happily, still catching your breath. An unexpected shiver ran over your body, making Loki pull you closer.

“Shall we break out that hot cocoa?” he whispered, pointing lazily to the thermos discarded on the floor of the sleigh. A sigh sneaked from your lips, nestling back into your love’s chest and pulling the pelt higher. You could feel his godly cock softening inside you, liquid arousal beginning a descent between your inner thighs. “In a minute…” you murmured dreamily, “I don’t want this moment to end.”

“End? My love...” he chuckled, chiding you. He summoned the thermos with a flick of his wrist, the steel meeting his firm grip with a soft slap.

“Tonight’s festivities have only just begun." He winked, twisting the lid of the thermos with a pop. "We haven't even had a chance to take to the skies, yet."

-

@lokischambermaid @lady-rose-moon @mochie85 @gigglingtigger @holymultiplefandomsbatman @muddyorbsblr @xorpsbane @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @loopsisloops @thedistractedagglomeration @loveroflokiforpoeticjustice @123forgottherest @holdmytesseract @joyful-enchantress @sititran @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @mrsbarnes32557038 @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @imalovernotahater @lokiprompts @thomase1 @morriggannlostinfandoms @ladylovesloki @marygoddessofmischief @ravenwings73 @xorpsbane @filthyhiddles @peacefulpianist @maple-seed @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @ozymdias @peaches1958 @your-taste-on-my-lips @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokisgirll @lokidokieokie @peachyymallows @tbhiddlestan83 @peachyjinx @kikster606 @tbhiddlestan83

[aikoiya]

LoZ: LU - The Lantern of the Lost

I have this idea for an item that's been rolling around in my head for several years.

It's a dark blue/black frame lantern with a peculiar flame inside.

Like this:

The lantern has a tassel attached to the bottom with a silver bell, that when it rings, it draws in Poe Souls so long as they haven't taken on the form of enemy Poes. Those souls then join the flame until it is time for them to be taken to the Bargainer Statues.

The flame itself almost seems to pulse like a heartbeat.

Regardless, its design would have a definitive Sheikah influence. Not technologically, but magically & design wise. Even featuring a very ancient iteration of the Mind's Eye symbol, one with a very destinctly Depths script style design to it.

Something kinda like this:

(Obviously not done. There are definitely some mistakes. Also not sure which looks better.)

This is what I have so far.

Nowhere near done yet. I definitely think the lantern itself is too simple for what I want, but I'm liking the general shape of it at the very least.

Other designs could include Depths-style versions of the Shadow Medallion symbol & such things.

Anyway, when held by someone who hasn't unlocked said the Mind's Eye, it will merely act as an ordinary, if magically-powered lantern with an ordinary flame. Though, it will consume the holder's magic, just not very quickly.

However, it has to be the actual Mind's Eye. Otherwise, the flame won't be the one in the picture above & won't be able to house the Poe Souls. It doesn't work with the Lense of Truth or the Mask of Truth. There's just a different level & even quality of magic that runs through your 3rd eye when you have access to the ability itself that very simply can't be fully replicated artificially. Sure, the Mind's Eye can't literally see through chests the way the Lense of Truth can, but it has a number of other benefits that the Lense doesn't.

Something else is that the light from the lantern can essentially project the power of the Mind's Eye outward, thus allowing those around the holder to also see the spirits. Both living & dead ones. Not to mention passed illusions. You see, someone with the power can see the Poe Souls as people. Much like how the ghosts of Rhoam & the Champions appeared. Though, more wispy & most normal people only have a couple of those little green flames floating around them. It also allows those nearby to hear the Poe Souls speak.

Though the Shadow Soldiers are merely echos of the people they were. The souls of those soldiers have already moved on, but they were able to leave a bit of themselves behind. Their dying wish to protect Hyrule in whatever way they could is what allowed such shadows to manifest. One with the Mind's Eye & those near them while holding the lantern could hear the Shadow Soldiers too, but it'd be little more than whispers of what they'd been thinking & feeling at the time of their death. Their most desperate desire. The one that keeps such echos anchored to the Depths.

Which brings up something. The fact that a lot of the Links seem to have a tendency towards seeing, interacting with, or soothing spirits or ghosts. You think it's something to do with the Spirit of the Hero?

Either way, I'd really like to see a half-Sheikah Link using this lantern. So, maybe this could be a part of the Library of Nayru story.

Either way, I'd want whichever Link ends up with it to also learn the Song of Healing & the Song of the Sun for the sake of soothing the souls of the dead.

Of course, it wouldn't always work immediately. Sometimes, Link would have to help them finish something or talk to them about something. Though, in the case of Poes & Imp Poes having taken on enemy form, it'd require a bit more work. Specifically, "killing" them with either a Light or Twilight-based attack. Either from a spell or a weapon. Doing so will destroy them & leave behind both a Poe Soul & a few Dark Clumps.

Such methods also work on undead enemies, such as Stals, Redeads, & Gibdos, & corrupted enemies such as Wolfos, Bullbos, Vulpos (the Keaton enemies from MC), Iron Knuckles, Furnixes, ect.

In the case of the latter, it purifies them, turning them back to their original forms. And in the cases of the Keatons, Iron Knuckles, & Furnixes, you'll get something out of it. If not rewards, then information or quests at the very least later on.

In fact, I could see purifying a Keaton near the beginning of the game ending up being the linchpin to Link learning the Mind's Eye technique to begin with. Perhaps the Keaton even becomes the companion for this game.

Though, I can also see him getting on a lot of players' nerves, because I tend to portray the Keaton as wise & clever, but very mischievous (occasionally just outright demanding Keatonzushi & Keaton Udon). Having a distinctly Cheshire Cat vibe, though his questions always have answers & it's always something that Link is supposed to be able to figure out on his own. Aside from riddles, I also tend to see the Keaton as being fans of the Socratic Method.

By this I mean, that they ask a lot of questions, fully knowing the answers themselves, but also expects Link to be able to think for himself & thus use said questions as a way to force Link to think critically.

Despite this, they are also not shy in telling Link when he's done a good job & will always repay a favor in kind.

In a way, I suppose that I see this particular Link as the sort who genuinely enjoys things like puzzles, brainteasers, riddles, & the like. Also having that classic Hero curiosity.

LoZ Linked Universe Masterlist

[fateandloveentwined]

long darkness — cháng yīn 长喑 translation

cháng yīn 长喑 // long darkness

a fan-made song on Xiao Jingyan. I have always been a Mei Changsu over XJY person, but this song from his pov really worked for me and let me see the weightedness of XJY's crown, so I wanted to share it with more.

song link in comment below. (bilibili . com / video / av10441457/)

长剑出鞘冷锋芒 十三载意难忘

缓歌曼舞九重宫 朔风黄沙麾旗扬

手足血脉埋青冢 挚友良弓唯锈藏

岂能折腰屈膝没忠良

the long sword unsheathes from the scabbard, its cool blade revealed. thirteen years, and hard it is to forget.

leisured, soothing melodies with graceful dances at the ninefold palace; north wind and yellow sand with the billowing ensign in the desert. *[1]

brothers-in-arms and brothers in blood in tombs buried, graves long covered in grass; dear friends and cherished bow stored away, now left only to rust —

how is one to bend and kneel, and bury the names of the honourable and the good?

挑灯不眠千军帐 逐千里护家邦

玉壶冰心铁骨铮 扬眉冷看覆风浪

当时少年且横枪 凝尽碧血守四方

守国土河山定国安邦

light a lamp through the unrested nights at the commander’s tent; repel foes a thousand miles, and shield the kingdom.

nobility and aspirations stayed true to, bones of steel resounding. head high, brows lifted, he coolly looks to the tempestuous, overturning storms. *[2]

the youth of the past still danced their spears: blood of the honourable, thoroughly consecrated, defends the four corners of their homeland,

guarding rivers and hills to secure peace of the kingdom’s earth.

(念白：我不要求你能理解，什么是军人铁血，什么是战场狼烟，但有些人，不能伤害，有些事，不能利用。如果连那些血战沙场的将士都不懂得尊重，我萧景琰绝不与你为伍，清楚了吗？)

V/O — I do not expect you to understand a soldier’s honour or the smoke signals on the battlefield. But there are some people you cannot hurt, some things you cannot manipulate. If you cannot even respect the soldiers dying at the battlefront, I, Xiao Jingyan, will never work with you. Do you understand?

铁马金戈谈笑并辔封疆 几回魂梦

凤阙深深夜雨潇潇数闻铃

鸿儒谈笑对面不知相逢 唯知君臣纲

音容早已远谁知苍凉

armoured horses and metal spears, riding in parallel in friendly chatters at the borderlands — how many times has the soul dreamt thus?

depths of the palace, whistling of the nightly rain, a few stray rings of the bells. *[3]

an erudite scholar, now sat opposite in small smiles converse, yet know not to reunite. what leaves is the etiquette of lords and lieges. *[4]

voice and countenance long since distanced — who is to know the desolation and vicissitudes concealed?

谈笑自若朝堂对气轩昂 霁月风光

风云激荡历艰辛终执牙璋

漫漫更鼓朱笔落夜未央 提笔写兴亡

四顾怅惘余音且绕梁

composed in dialogue and pleasantries, assured and imposing at court. he is noble and virtuous as the bright moon and warm breeze.

wading through the unpredictable winds and turmoils, zhang sceptre of jade at last in hand.

drums signifying the night hours sound, red comments from the emperor’s brush move through the boundless night yet to end. a lift of the brush, and prosperities and declines are writ. *[5]

pensive and lost he looks to four sides. remnants of past sounds remain, resonating through the beams of the palace.

(verse 2)

潜龙在渊敛锋芒 风雷动引龙翔

风云际会参参商 瞰天下世道无常

掌中龙渊凛如霜 立丹陛守盛世长

祭酒未凉叹谁人共觞

like a submerged dragon in the abyss, he enshrouds his splendour. wind and thunder call his wings to flight. *[6]

in the winds and clouds, he engages in the tumult of the Shen and Shang constellations. from above he looks down at the fickleness of the world.

in his hands, the abyss of the dragon is cold as frost; he stands at the red stairway before the imperial palace, and overlooks an everlasting prosperity.

the wine offering to the dead is yet to cool — I sigh, who is to drink with me?

袖手天下为帝王 垂衣且驭八荒

气宇舒金殿垂拱 揽尽山河只手倾

长歌挽弓射天狼 潜龙一朝御风翔

乾坤日月昭天下清朗

hands folded in sleeves, he gazes at the kingdom before him. as emperor he rules from his attire and directs even the most distant lands. *[7]

with poised air he commands the court, hands held together; the entirety of the kingdom shifts with a tilt of his hand. *[7]

sing high and long; draw your bow to the invading Sirius. the submerged dragon one morn rises to ride the winds. *[8]

heaven and earth, and sun and moon clears, and the world before brightens.

铁马金戈谈笑并辔封疆 几回魂梦

凤阙深深夜雨潇潇数闻铃

鸿儒谈笑对面不知相逢 唯知君臣纲

音容已故徒一身沧桑

armoured horses and metal spears, riding in parallel in friendly chatters at the borderlands — how many times has the soul dreamt thus?

depths of the palace, whistling of the nightly rain, a few stray rings of the bells. *[3]

an erudite scholar, now sat opposite in small smiles converse, yet know not to reunite. what leaves is the etiquette of lords and lieges. *[4]

voice and countenance already bygone, all but a body of desolation remains.

谈笑自若朝堂对气轩昂 霁月风光

风云激荡历艰辛终执牙璋

漫漫更鼓朱笔落夜未央 提笔写兴亡

从此立龙城孤守八方

composed in dialogue and pleasantries, assured and imposing at court. he is noble and virtuous as the bright moon and warm breeze.

having waded through the unpredictable winds and turmoils, zhang sceptre of jade at last in hand.

drums signifying the night hours sound, red comments from the emperor’s brush move through the boundless night yet to end. a lift of the brush, and prosperities and declines are writ. *[5]

from forth he establishes himself in the imperial city of dragons. alone, he awatches the eight corners of his realm. *[9]

Extra notes

for those keen on classical chinese and literature allusions

I’ve cited some allusions and references I was reminded of as I listened to the song. These are subjective, my knowledge of classical texts is very limited, take everything with a grain of salt and please do comment if you’d like to supplement any information.

[1] 缓歌曼舞九重宫 朔风黄沙麾旗扬 — 《长恨歌》 白居易 The Song of Everlasting Regret, by Bai Juyi

缓歌曼舞: from “缓歌慢舞凝丝竹”. This is at the start of the romance tale, where the palace is in carefree bliss and prosperity.

slow and graceful songs / slow dances / slowly the music of the strings and the bamboo reverberate in step with the dances.

朔风黄沙麾旗扬: might be a stretch; I was reminded of “黄埃散漫风萧索”. This is from the same poem as above, we are one fourth in here, and it talks of a war.

yellow dust, scattered, drifts through the air. the bleak wind howls.

[2] 玉壶冰心铁骨铮 — 《芙蓉楼送辛渐》 王昌龄 Bidding Xin Jian farewell at Furong Tower by Wang Changling

玉壶冰心: from “洛阳亲友如相问，一片冰心在玉壶”

if the relatives and friends from Luoyang ask, tell them that my noble intentions are unchanged; a heart of ice in the vase of jade.

[3] 凤阙深深夜雨潇潇数闻铃 — 《长恨歌》 白居易 The Song of Everlasting Regret, by Bai Juyi

夜雨潇潇数闻铃: again could be a stretch; I was reminded of “夜雨闻铃肠断声” from the same poem as [1]. (don’t ask me why, this entire song is infused with this piece it feels). This talks of the same romance tale, in which the emperor mourns the death of his beloved.

in the nightly rain, the sound of the bells could be heard. it sounds as sorrowful and agonising as the breaking of intestines.

[4] 鸿儒谈笑对面不知相逢 唯知君臣纲 — 《陋室铭》 刘禹锡 An Inscription of the Humble Abode by Liu Yuxi; 《江城子》 苏轼 Jiang Cheng Zi, by Su Shi

鸿儒谈笑: from "谈笑有鸿儒，往来无白丁" credits to @fwoopersongs because my brain happily omitted it!

well-learnt scholars congregate in joyous talk, traversing there is no uncouth and unread.

不知相逢: there are many poems on this topic, one of the most notable ones would be “纵使相逢应不识，尘满面，鬓如霜。”

even if we met (Su Shi and his deceased wife), you should not be able to recognise me. dust covers my face, and the hair of my temples is white as frost.

[5] 漫漫更鼓朱笔落夜未央 — 《长恨歌》 白居易 The Song of Everlasting Regret, by Bai Juyi (added in edit)

漫漫更鼓: Okay, "迟迟钟鼓初长夜" immediately came to mind when I saw this phrase, but I went like here's too many footnotes already and thought it was too much of a stretch to put in (there's only one word in common!). Then I looked into the original poem, in which the timely bi-hour rings of the drum felt lengthened because of the emperor's agony over losing his loved one -- and so I went like, okay, this is relevant, I actually need to add this in.

the drums reporting the hour of the night come late, and it is early in the long night.

漫漫 meaning endless, without an end in sight. This echoes the sentiments of the emperor in Bai Juyi's poem in feeling that the night is everlasting and without end.

[6] 潜龙在渊敛锋芒 — 《易经》 Yi Jing, the Book of Changes

潜龙: There’s an awful lot of “submerged dragon” metaphors in this stanza. Technically it's a figurative "talents hidden dragon" rather than literally, under the waters. This is from Yi Jing essentially, a super old book on divination that does have some wisdom of old sayings in it. The submerged dragon talks of how the dragon, currently veiled, is a powerful being simply not revealed to worldly eyes yet, and is waiting for opportunity to strike (more like, soar, in this context). These lyrics parallel Xiao Jingyan with the allusion to talk about how he stayed silent for thirteen years before his time of brilliance.

[7] 袖手天下为帝王 垂衣且驭八荒 / 气宇舒金殿垂拱 揽尽山河只手倾 — Taoism concept

Okie this is super complicated and involves a Taoism context, some history from the beginning emperors of the Han dynasty, and a very enthusiastic Emperor Taizong of Tang; I don’t really know how to go about this.

袖手, 垂衣驭八荒, 垂拱, these all lead to the same concept, and the middle chunk in particular is from a poem written by Emperor Taizong of Tang. Theory suggested by Laozi and Zhuangzi of Taoism, overall it talks of inaction, which is action the emperors at the start of the Han dynasty employed. They demanded less of their citizens and let the economy recover naturally (agriculture and such), and since these policies worked, the starting few Han emperors were regarded highly with this kind of purposeful and benevolent “inaction”.

In short, this song here uses these descriptions to talk of Jingyan as a competent and masterful leader.

[8] 长歌挽弓射天狼 — 《江城子·密州出猎》 苏轼 Hunting outside Mizhou (yet another Jiang Cheng Zi), by Su Shi

挽弓射天狼: from “会挽雕弓如满月，西北望，射天狼。”

I shall draw my carved bow like the full-moon, point towards the northwest, and shoot in the direction of the intruders.

天狼 means Sirius star. In chinese astronomy/astrology it was somewhat related to evilness, hence the use of Sirius to denote intruders.

[9] 从此立龙城孤守八方

I just added this this is not a reference it just really reminds me of this fanfiction oneshot 此生一诺 (this life, a pledge)! It talks about XJY at the end of everything, he draws a circle about the ground and entraps himself with the promise he made to see the world a better place under his reign (from the chinese idiom 画地为牢). I recced the oneshot here if you wish to check it out.

arghhh the entire course of me writing the tl was me going oh goodness why is there yet another footnote but I’m glad to be done for now.

Like, goodness. There is not one “he” or “him” reference in the lyrics. I would love to do the same, but you can see me getting more and more resigned towards the end of the translation.

I am sooo inclined to passive voice and invert subjects for every sentence when it comes to translations, I realise, and I apologise for the almost-signature abundance of semicolons and em dashes in the translation (I blame it on the difference in punctuation nuances. — I subconsciously use semicolons for semi-parallel sentence structures, so you can spot out imperfect couplets that way.) Massive respect to all those who translate, because easy is it to hatch out a crude translation in five minutes, it is not treading about the delicate balance between literal and metaphorical, and in all honesty I feel that it is just way easier for me to write literal once, then go off the rails and do super-figurative for the other.

There are far more annotations and word definitions I’d like to add (I could literally do a classical text/poetry meta for every word lmao), but evidently, time constraints, and truthfully it would take forever to complete, so on a “ask me and I’ll try to elaborate” basis again.

The V/O — I’d love to make it more archaic, but the dialogue from the drama in this part was so modern apologies I’m sort of disappointed with the translation over here.

Re: song title. Yes, it sounds a little weird, excuse that.

I considered other translations for the song title, but none of them really gave the impression I really wanted. Words like “eternal” and “everlasting” were too permanent, I wanted to express the idea of the darkness being lengthened, yet with Jingyan’s reign it would come to an end, hence my hesitance. “Continual” is one I fiddled with: it did not give the same curt, direct feeling as “long” however, so in the end I just ended up with the simplest title.

[memoiremunson]

Bad Day - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: you have a bad day that only Eddie Munson can cure.

A/N: I made this quickly so it may have some grammatical errors but I wish Eddie Munson were real so he could take care of me like this. Once again, it's pretty self-indulgent. Hope you enjoy! <3

Word Count: 1,288

Warnings: reader gets pushed, protective Eddie, period mention, crying

● - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ●

Your day had not been the greatest. You had woken up later than usual as your alarm simply decided not to go off. Thus, your whole day had been thrown in tandem. You had rushed getting ready to make sure that you were presentable when Eddie pulled up to your house. The outfit you had thrown together was one that you didn’t feel your best in as you often liked the effort of putting together cute outfits. You hadn't even had time to put on makeup, opting for a fresh face. This wouldn't have been an issue usually, but your face had decided it wasn't going to look like it usually did for the past week and a half.

As you rush out of the door, climbing into Eddie’s van, he notices your frazzled state. Opting to offer a calm presence, he decides not to comment on your already seemingly hectic morning. Instead, he leans over for his morning kiss before letting you choose the song and peeling off the street towards Hawkins High. The ride over was filled with an energetic Eddie recounting his absurd dream of you both being dolphins and having to find the giant octopus that lay at the bottom of the Titanic.

As he tells you about an oddly specific tattoo on your dolphin body, your eyes glaze over as you watch the pretty boy beside you talk so passionately. You thought to yourself, “if I didn’t have anything, I’d have him.” The love-stricken look on your face must have been noticeable as he trailed off his rant. He brushed his hand against your cheek, deciding to finally check in on you. 

“You ok, pretty girl?” You nod as the cool sting of his rings was a nice contrast to your warm, slightly puffy morning face. “Alright, just don't fall asleep on me, sweetheart.” You nod again. His voice soothing your nerves. Finally pulling into the parking lot, you groaned. The day ahead of you was expected to be a long one.

Eddie walked you to your class as he usually did, slinging your backpack off his shoulder and gently putting it on yours. “I’ll see you at lunch, ok.” “Ok, baby,” you replied solemnly as you’d miss his comfort for the next couple of hours. “I love you,” he whispered as he leaned down for one final kiss. “I love you too, Eds,” you sighed as you gave him a gentle peck. You walked into the classroom, taking your usual seat. As you sat, you caught his figure still standing at the doorframe. He offered you a final wave and smile as he caught your eye. Slightly chuckling to yourself, you reciprocated the same action. 

The next few hours were horrible. You had gone to the bathroom during class and found that mother nature had decided to pay a surprise visit, your cramps soon following. Then, in your second period, which was your hardest class, a surprise pop quiz was handed out. Tears threatened to fall out of your eyes as you stared at the problems in front of you. You were more than certain you had bombed it, having another blow to your self-esteem for the day. However, you choked back the tears and large lump in your throat, holding on for one of Eddie’s famous hugs that you were looking forward to during lunch.

Finally, the bell indicating lunch rang. You had gathered your binder and notebooks in your hands, too lazy to put them in your bag as you headed to your locker. Walking through the crowd of students, you caught Eddie’s slender frame leaning against your locker. You began to pick up your pace as he made eye contact with you. Just as you were about to reach him and ask for one of his hugs, one of the basketball players rammed into your shoulder, your items in your hands flying out and dispersing across the hall. You were stunned at the sheer force and frightened by the dirty look he gave you as he yelled, “Watch where you’re going!” Eddie immediately barked back a nasty insult but you were too shocked to catch it. 

As you silently stood, you watched the papers on the linoleum floor grow blurry and watery. The tears began to fall faster than you had processed. The silent sobs from your shoulders brought Eddie back to your shaking frame. His large doe eyes which were often filled with wonder and playfulness were now filled with panic. “Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry. It’s ok, I promise. Don’t cry.” His words fell on deaf ears as you began to now loudly sob, the dam that you had been maintaining from this morning let loose and didn’t care about the damage it was leaving in its wake. His broad chest caged you in a hug as he shielded you away from onlookers in the hall. You clutched onto him as he continued to whisper soft murmurs of affection to calm you down. “My sweet girl you’re ok, I've got you, I’m here.” His words dripped in the purest of love made you feel even more emotional as he continued to hold you. 

He gently pulled you away, arms coming to softly grip your shoulders. He bent down slightly to meet your eyes. “I’m going to pick up your stuff and then we can ditch and head back to my place. Does that sound good, sweetheart?” He spoke softly as his eyes danced across your face, waiting patiently for your approval. Not trusting your voice, you shyly nodded. You knew Eddie really wanted to graduate with you this year so you were very discouraging of his ditching habits but you let yourself be selfish as today was utter shit. 

He quickly picked up your items and took your backpack off your shoulders, slinging it onto his. You slipped into his side as he led the two of you out of the building towards the parking lot. He held onto your waist protectively, eyeing anyone who had dared to glance at your distressed state. His arms unraveled from you as he held open the passenger door for you to hop in. As you settled in your seat, he grabbed your seatbelt and pulled it gently over your body. You simply let him, murmuring a soft, “Thanks, Eds,” to which he replied with a gentle peck on your cheek. 

Driving back to his trailer, the soft sounds of your shared mixtape filled the vacant air. The occasional sniffle from your nose cut the settled air. Each time you sniffled, Eddie’s hand on your thigh would tighten. The circles he had been creating with his thumb helped soothe your overthinking as you felt that maybe you were being overdramatic and a crybaby. 

As the two of you arrived at his trailer, you both silently headed to his bedroom, collapsing on his cozy unmade bed. He joined you on his bed, pulling your head close to his chest. His rings now disappearing as he wanted to avoid catching or tangling your hair as he ran his fingers through your locks. The air filled with slow breaths in rhythm together. You are the first to break the silence. “I’m sorry for being a crybaby.” 

Eddie immediately tsks at your comment. “You’re not a crybaby, sweetheart.” You sigh as you know he’s right. “It’s just one of those days, it’s ok.” “Yeah, I guess.” “Yeah baby, it’s just one of those days.” You hum in acknowledgment, your eyes slowly shutting. “Go ahead and take a nap sweets, I’m not going anywhere.” And that’s when you knew, he’d always be there for you, through the bad days and the good days. But oh how you loved the good days. 

Thank you for reading, Angel! <3

[hetn-3]

HI ✨️ so since I haven't received any requests and I'm sad, I decided to write a little about Dazai, it's not really Dazai, so good 😭😭

my requests are open 🔪

happy reading

In the calming atmosphere of the café, Dazai, with his casual demeanor, sips his black coffee while reading his book on suicide. The bell rings lightly at the entrance, revealing the arrival of a mysterious figure. Dazai looks up, intrigued by the presence of this stranger who is about to enter his world.

Y/N, a bit shy, hesitates in front of the counter. Dazai, without revealing himself right away, offers a mischievous smile and invites her to share his table. "You seem to be the mysterious element this café has been waiting for, my dear stranger. May I offer you a seat?"

Y/N, slightly surprised, accepts the invitation, and the conversation begins between these two beings destined to cross paths. Dazai, with his skill with words, elicits sincere laughter from Y/N. Each exchange reveals a little more of each person's complex personalities.

The days pass, and Dazai, fascinated by this enigma named Y/N, frequents the café assiduously. Each encounter adds nuance to the complex web that is their budding connection.

One day, as the sun sets, tinting the sky with warm shades, Dazai, with a touch of sincere emotion, introduces himself more formally. “Forgive me, my dear stranger, I am Osamu Dazai. And you, what is the name that resonates in this mystery that surrounds you?”

Y/N, a shy smile on her lips, replies, "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Dazai." The first names exchanged mark a turning point in their relationship, adding a new dimension to their growing complicity.

The meetings evolve, the looks become deeper, and Dazai, usually a master of riddles, discovers that the stranger he met has become an essential part of his daily life.

One afternoon, while the café is bathed in subdued light, Dazai, his eyes staring into Y/N's, says: "Y/N, these moments shared with you have become a delicious tangle of enigmas. Would you accept "Would you like to become my girlfriend?" Y/N’s eyes shine with a warm glow, and she responds softly, “I think so, Dazai.”

Their romance takes on new momentum, punctuated by spontaneous meetings, shared bursts of laughter, and knowing glances. One day, in the privacy of a quiet park, Dazai, with rare sincerity, takes Y/N's hand. “With you, Y/N, every moment is a new adventure. I may not be used to it, but with you, everything seems different.”

Y/N, smiling, replies, “Sometimes change can bring nice surprises.” Their eyes meet, a gentle silence envelops the moment, and their hearts open to a deeper connection.

The evening ends with a comforting hug by a soothing fountain. Dazai and Y/N, now united by a budding love, share a delicate kiss, thus sealing the start of a new page in their story. The café becomes the silent witness of an encounter that lit their lives with a thousand stars.

my requests are open 🔪

[tamelee]

omg hii! 🙈 i just saw your new art where kid sasuke gives his rice ball to kid naruto and it reminded me of their test to get the bells from kakashi 😭 when sasuke was canonly feeding naruto. AAAA, I'M SERIOUSLY MELTING. a brand new headcanon that they still do that sometimes. now i can't stop imaging adult sasuke feeding adult naruto from time to time, being all smiley and lovey-dovey 😌💕 sasuke took "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" seriously

Hi!! 🧡 Ahhh I'm so happy to hear that!! It was indeed a screenshot redraw from that scene. I think, if they traveled or lived together now, it would totally happen. In 'Gaiden', Kishimoto showed that Naruto still links a bento to the time Sasuke fed him, how important that moment was. There are multiple moments regarding food in the Manga that reveals a dynamic (positive or not), because it shows care (and thus, the opposite as well.) And in Naruto's case it goes beyond that, right? Growing up feeling like you're unworthy of love, but here is Iruka treating him his 'favorite thing ever!!' Or Jiraiya sharing ice lolly's. And Sasuke feeding him despite the possible consequences- deeming Naruto more important than the other through such a selfless act. It's Iruka's way to show understanding or Sasuke saying 'we're both starved from love, but at least in this moment I can do something to soothe that pain for you' 😔 Btw, you're all feeding me loads of drawing ideas 🥹<3

[i-did-not-mean-to]

A crash of drums, a flash of light

First request of this week goes to @wandererindreams who's asked for Fëanor x shy reader.

Thank you so much for this request! It was a really good one to start this week off with and get back into the flow :D

Words: 990

Characters: Fëanor x reader

Prompt: Fireworks

Warnings: None

"Where are we going?"

You clenched your hands into tight fists, creasing the fabric of your rich garments reprehensibly, to keep yourself focused on the radiant apparition walking before you so purposefully.

Fëanáro's voice ebbed and flowed like a river as he gave you an account of his experiments that was both too fast and too detailed for you to understand.

All you could gather from his excited explanation was that he had managed something quite extraordinary.

"Even the Maiar will attend," he now declared, pride ringing in his voice like a golden bell.

Despite your deep and paralysing confusion, you felt a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

In these rare moments of intimacy—in dark corridors and smoky ateliers—he was no longer the crown prince, the firstborn son of Finwë of the Noldor, but a free, incandescent spirit ready and able to push beyond the superficial perfection of this Blessed Realm.

"You were saying?" he then asked as if he had only now fully realised that you had spoken.

Almost tripping over your own feet in your haste to assuage the flicker of doubt and impatience flitting over his handsome face, you lifted your hands in a soothing gesture.

As Fëanáro turned around at exactly that moment, your cool palms landed on his broad chest. Unable to move, you had to endure his amused smile as he stepped back slowly.

"My apologies," you squeaked. The way your voice wavered and petered out like a candle in the wind made you flinch with shame.

For as long as you could remember, people had relentlessly admonished you to speak up and state your thoughts in a calm, collected, and coherent manner.

Despite all your assiduous practice and your stubborn resolutions, you had unfortunately not yet mastered the art of overcoming your natural reluctance to draw more attention to your person than was strictly necessary though.

Your mother usually called you "shy" in that indulgently exasperated tone of one who wished for things to be different but refused to inflict harm and hurt upon their own child willingly.

"I.." you tried again, battling the urge to gnaw on your lower lip in discomfort. "I merely asked where it was you were leading me?"

Truth be told, you would have followed Fëanáro anywhere—your trust in both his genius and his inherent goodness was not shaken by his fiery temper and his famed impatience.

Even though you could not deny that his words and actions sometimes could frighten you, you were convinced that you were not indeed scared of him.

"Come," he barked, "I want you to see this."

His hands were warm and strong as they curled around your upper arms resolutely and pushed you down onto a strange contraption that seemed to consist solely of a complex construction of interlaced rods and interwoven bands of silken fabric.

"How do you find my portable chair?" he asked cheerily. "It's made of many mobile parts that can be torn asunder without destroying their integrity. The cloth bands hold the bars together and thus, the whole chair can be transported easily."

"Ingenious," you breathed, awe-struck yet again by his brilliance.

"Now," he declared and pointed to the sky, "sit and watch."

A muted sigh of disappointment escaped you as you watched him scamper from view.

A moment later, though, he returned—he was out of breath and beaming brightly.

"The sky," he reminded you, clasping your frail chin in his imperious fingers and tilting your head up gently.

Fire bloomed across a field of inky darkness and your hands flew up to shield your face.

"No," he insisted. "You're safe with me, I promise."

Streaks of colour exploded with a sound akin to a thousand horses thundering through the darkened sky.

"It's...beautiful," you whispered, shaken by this unprecedented cunning and daring.

From somewhere in the distance came the awed murmurs of other onlookers, but Fëanáro seemed to have forgotten about everybody outside of the small clearing over which you were presiding so regally.

"Give me your words, oh quiet one," he urged, falling to his knees before you. "Long have I known that we are not alike in mind and manner. Where I say too much—to the point of enervating others—you keep your own council and your dignified peace. Let it not be so now, I beg you!"

As ever when you were asked to speak, a dense fog of anxious unease settled stiflingly upon your every confused thought.

For Fëanáro though—who was gracious, generous, and grandiose—you had to at least try to overcome that deplorable flaw of yours.

"I have never even imagined anything as marvellous as this," you confessed. "It seems that you've managed to harness light, strength, and colour to paint in between and beyond Laurelin and Telperion."

Satisfaction and pride made his eyes gleam—you could see still the reflection of his mesmerising invention in that hypnotising gaze and an exhilarating excitement surged within your core.

"Do you want more?" he asked, his voice deep and thrumming.

By this time, you were no longer sure that you were still talking about the blazing flowers he had planted into thin air, but you found yourself nodding obediently, nonetheless.

You opened your lips as if to speak, but you found that you could not. What words would do justice to his radiance, pulling you under like a wave of embers cresting into foaming light?

Blindly, you groped for his hand and brought it to your still aimlessly moving lips.

Gratitude. Wonder. Love unspoken, love unknown.

Demure, quiet, and soft-spoken as you were known to be, you understood in that very moment that this extraordinary creature staring at you with the intensity of a thousand hallowed trees might well be able to kindle a savage inferno within you as much as within the placid, cool air of an otherwise uneventful moment under Telperion's clement shimmer.

@fellowshipofthefics here's the first for this week.

Thank you so much and lots of love!

[the-hearth-and-the-wild]

To the Bluebell

by Emily Bronte

Sacred watcher, wave thy bells! Fair hill flower and woodland child! Dear to me in deep green dells— Dearest on the mountains wild.

Bluebell, even as all divine I have seen my darling shine— Bluebell, even as wan and frail I have seen my darling fail— Thou hast found a voice for me, And soothing words are breathed by thee.

Thus they murmur, “Summer's sun Warms me till my life is done. Would I rather choose to die Under winter's ruthless sky?

“Glad I bloom and calm I fade; Weeping twilight dews my bed; Mourner, mourner, dry thy tears— Sorrow comes with lengthened years!”

[rosastra]

GUILT

A vashmeryl fanfic, how two broken person might just be each other’s salvation.

Author’s notes : hiii, this is my very very FIRST fanfic ever! Please excuse my baby writing, I hope you’ll be able to enjoy my silly little scenarios 💙

Context : The story takes place two years after July’s incident (stampede lore). After Roberto’s death, Meryl and his niece, Milly, who is now her subordinate, found Vash and Wolfwood again. Thus began their group travel across noman’s land.

Note : Fluff this chapter, will be smut in the next one! Also some angst I guess? Not proofread bc I’m too impatient 🙌🏼

CHAPTER 1 :

“To those I couldn’t protect”

When they set foot inside the tiny inn, the smell of alcohol and freshly cooked food submerged them. The bar was full, people were eating, laughing and probably telling each other all about their adventures on the desertic planet.

It felt great. Finally seeing an ounce of what humanity is supposed to look like. These small moments of rest, which managed to lighten the memories of blood and fear, were cherished by the group.

Milly and wolfwood decided to register the rooms for the night, while Vash and Meryl desperately looked for a free table to relieve their hunger and dire need of a beer. It’s Vash that managed to find one first, used to move swiftly and rapidly around people to snatch the first spot that cleared up. So Meryl went to the bar to take all the orders.

By the time she came back, Milly and Wolfwood were back, already chatting with the blond man. As soon as she sat down again, Vash got some playing cards out of his bag to entertain the group while waiting for the food to arrive.

As time went on, the food was already downed, noting it really didn’t take long considering their level of starvation, and most of them were already on their third beer of the night. As usual, Vash and Wolfwood are the loudest, bickering about who won that last round or betting who will win the next. Milly, who already had way too much to drink for her small tolerance, puts oil to the fire like usual while Meryl gave up the idea of calming them long ago. Even though this scene might seem chaotic on the outside, it was that kind of night that the group wouldn’t trade for anything.

Seeing the smiles of her friends, Meryl feels both pure joy and sadness. She can’t help but feel the dreadful feeling of guilt, gripping at her back like a vulture would at the corpse of its long decayed prey. That is how she felt, at least, consumed from the inside, slowly and painfully.

He could have been here. Had she learned how to use a weapon before, how to defend herself earlier, maybe then, her mentor would still be at this table, judging the group like the old alcoholic man he was. But she knew that deep down he would have enjoyed it too.

While her face tries its best to hide her inner turmoil, a certain pair of eyes behind orange tinted glasses catches that slight change in the mood of the small reporter. But he doesn’t say anything. While he’s not sure what the issue is, that expression she has, he feels like he knows it far too well. What he does instead is to try and snap her out of her phase by pinching her between her eyes.

“Your turn to play, meryl. Or have you given up on first place already?”

She mimics a giggle. “Hah, never.”

———————

Wolfwood won, again. Even though him and the blond gunsman keep arguing about getting revenge, the state of Milly, barely able to form a proper sentence anymore, rings the bell of this evening’s end. After waving the others goodnight and bringing her subordinate back to her room, Meryl doesn’t feel quite ready to sleep yet. She felt exhausted, yes, but it was like that sweet taste of rest wasn’t allowed to her.

She keeps fidgeting under her blankets, staring at the ceiling. The horror of July’s incident keep on flashing before her eyes. Giving up on sleeping for now, the short girl opens the window, hoping the fresh air of the night will soothe her. Her skylight window stood on the highest part of the roof, making it easy for people to go out and sit on top of the inn for some stargazing. As she opens it, she notices a bright red cloth swinging lightly to the desert’s night wind, hiding partially the view of the stars.

Looking up, she sees Vash, sitting a bit higher, heads up and seemingly lost in thoughts.

She struggles a bit to climb out the window, but manages to land shakily on her two feet. The blond, as sharp as always, notices her right away.

‘’Ah, Meryl. I didn’t realize that was your room. Sorry, did I wake you up?’’ He says, giving her his signature soft and calming smile.

She shakes her head. ‘’ Not at all, I was still awake. Just thought a red curtain isn’t usually what I expect to see when looking out the window.’’

He giggles at her comment and taps down next to him, inviting her to sit beside him. ‘’Haha, sorry about that. Never remember how long that coat is.’’

‘’Shut it, I’m sure you sat there on purpose.’’

He probably did. And that thought made her smile. She knew he somehow never failed to notice when she was going through some internal turmoil. He always tried to cheer her up with small gestures, or by giving her a comforting but silent presence.

It was both incredible and stupid. How such simple gestures, coming from a specific person, could already lighten her mood and make her feel like her vultures are now trapped behind that person’s protective aura.

So she sits beside him, now also glancing up at the sky.

‘’Can’t sleep?’’ Vash asks, not looking at her.

‘’Can’t sleep.’’

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ He sounded really insecure formulating his question.

Now that surprised her. Yes he found ways to comfort her in some ways or another, but he never asked her directly, too scared to overstep maybe. ‘’About what?’’

‘’Ah, well, you looked like you were kind of out of it these days. You often seems to drift into your own world.’’ He seems like he instantly regrets asking.

‘’ I mean it would be bad if you spaced out while driving, we already had so many acciden— OW!’’ He’s interrupted by her fingers instantly pinching his ear.

‘’No comments on my driving skills.’’ Meryl pouts.

A bright laugh emanates from him, one that makes the world sound like a damn heaven. The reporter feels a light shade of red invading her plump cheeks, and a small smile breaks her pouty expression.

A comfortable silence sets itself between the two and the night sky. All you can hear are small gushes of wind and far away laughter from the last people getting out of the city’s bars. Sitting beside each other like this, enjoying the most simple of things, that might just be enough to her. She daydreams again, but this time about a long life, simple but always together. But when her fantasies of daily life happiness alongside the group crosses her mind, it strikes her again. The guilt.

She feels her throat closing in on itself, her heart banging rapidly against her ribcage but this time not from silly feelings towards her tall friend. Suddenly it’s hard for her to breathe and the memories flash once again. She sees Roberto, lying on the ground, head on her lap as he gives her his empty derringer. He can’t utter anything distinguishable enough for her to understand, his words are muffled by blood choking sounds. Her hand is pressed firmly where the reason of his pain is situated on his throat, covering her in amounts of blood she had never seen before.

He was telling her something. While handing that gun, he was telling her something! But she couldn’t understand it! Was he blaming her? Cursing her? Telling her to pick that damn gun and finally decide to defend herself. Maybe if she had done so earlier, he wouldn’t have had to take that hit instead of her. He would still be alive, drinking to his heart’s content, enjoying his cigarettes and writing simple articles that satisfied him plenty.

Her ears start ringing, her sight gets blurry while her eyes gets filled with tears and— she feels warmth. An incredibly comforting and soft warmth. If she could she would sink even deeper in it, until it was all she could feel.

Her eyes allow her to see the dark blue sky again, and she realizes that Vash had wrapped his arms around her, his head pressing on top of hers. He had stayed silent that whole time, giving her the time to come back around at her own pace. It felt like an eternity in her head, but when did he move that close to her? That means her saw her cry right? How embarrassing.

‘’Vash’’

He slighty flinch when her voice finally greets his ear again. It really must have been a while then.

‘’Meryl…’’ he’s interrupted by her arms encircling him tightly this time.

She’s embarrassed to have been seen in such a fragile state, but she’s so tired. Since her mentor’s death, she didn’t have the occasion to speak about her feelings with anyone, not wanting to burden Milly with the mention of her uncle’s death, or Vash, who probably had other things to worry about. Besides, telling him about her guilt felt like whining about insignificant matters when she knew how bad he felt for everything that happened these past 150 years. At the end of the day, she wanted to be there for him, she followed him exactly for that. He didn’t have to reciprocate her feelings or to bother about her struggles. As long as she could see his genuine smile, she was content.

But tonight, the pain is too big, too deep. And so she abandons herself to his, oh so warm embrace.

‘’I’m sorry, I… I just need a moment…’’

‘’Take as long as you need, Meryl.’’

Still resting his head on top of hers, Vash feels frustrated. He never wanted to see her in that state. Her soft smile and her joyful and sparky way of putting him back in his place when needed, were some of the rare things that kept him alive. He’s even mad at himself, if he could just have the courage to talk to her about it, to be her listening ear, someone she could confide in! He felt like he had no right to be the one to give her advice. After all, he had been the reason for the pain of so many before. But that look of despair he just saw on her face minutes ago does it. He can’t bear to remain a coward and leave her alone in this anymore. So he talks.

‘’I want to be there for you.’’

He surprises her once again.

‘’No matter what it is. No matter what you do. I want to listen and be there for you. Like you have for me.’’

It takes everything in her to not burst into desperate cries right here and there. And it takes even more to finally open her heart to him.

She weakly opens her mouth.

‘’Ever since July— no, ever since Jeneora Rock, the guilt has never left me. I don’t know how to live with myself, knowing my weakness and cowardice is the reason people have been hurt and even died.’’

She takes a deep breath.

‘’ After Jeneora Rock, I was sure I was going to change! I was going to make a difference and finally face the danger head on instead of running away!

But I was too pretentious, too stupid. Roberto died, and it’s all my fault. After dragging him along all of this, I should have at least been able to protect him, to save him! I should have… I should—!’’ The tears start falling down again making it hard to voice her thoughts, overwhelming her.

‘’My weakness, no matter what I do, it won’t change.. Roberto should have been the one to survive that day, not m—‘’ She’s immediately stopped, stunned by Vash who suddenly broke the hug to tightly place her face between his hands. He’s now looking at her intently, eye to eye level, his face a bit too close for her already racing heart.

She attempts to say his name. ‘’Don’t ever say that again.’’

How could he have not realized? Of course she would feel guilty about the things that happened, she cared so deeply for her friends, it should have been evident that those evenings would have gotten to her. Hell, he knew that feeling far too well himself. Yet his cowardice left her alone to deal with it.

He was so angry. At himself, at her as well, they had known each other for so long now, how could she talk like that about herself when she was the one who brought him so much joy in his life.

‘’Meryl, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have enormous physical strength or flashy fighting skills. You manage to find hope in the most desperate moments, you never give up on what is dear to you.’’

She looks at him intensely, the tears have calmed down, letting place for a deep blush on her cheeks once again.

‘’Your ability to shine through every hardship, that is your strength Meryl. You motivate the people around you to be better, to do better!’’

‘’I’m sure that’s what Roberto thought too. After all, he was quite the grumpy man that saw everything in black and white when I first met you two. But after some time, I saw him soften up around you. That’s your power Meryl.’’

The small reporter giggles weakly. ‘’Haha, I guess it’s true that he was a bit less insufferable after some time…’’

She continues: ‘’But I’m sure he’s cursing me from heaven right now, that after all this time, I still can’t do much.’’

‘’That’s not true! You’ve done so much! You wrote an amazing article, trained an amazing new recruit, you’ve learned to shoot a gun, you found me again despite all my effort—‘’

‘’Say what now’’ here goes the pout again.

‘’Alright, sorry, sorry… but in the end, I’m glad you did. Maybe you don’t realize but you already give me so much everyday.’’ He utters, his voice going down in volume.

‘’Such as?’’ Meryl looks almost amused now, her eyes still puffy and her cheeks now dry.

‘’Well, first of all, you give me concussions from all those bumps from the card rides—‘’ He stops when her face contorts in a way that tells him he’ll die if he says one more word.

‘’Okay, okay’’ He laughs sincerely.

‘’You give me… hope…’’ His gaze softens at that. Not quite able to look directly into her eyes anymore.

‘’You give me joy.’’ Her face gets seriously red again.

‘’You give me a reason to keep fighting.’’

‘’Peacefully, of course?’’ She retorts, trying to hide her embarrassment. She mustn’t hope for anything, he’s just being nice to her.

‘’Always.’’ He looks at her again.

Now that he’s calmed down, vash realizes how close they actually are, and he attempts to remove his hands from her face. But she grabs them before he can. She’s not ready to lose his warmth just yet. So she holds him there, her hands on his.

Silence sets again, but something is different. Something is building up inside of them. Vash feels like his heart's gonna explode, he had had dreams where he got to be closer to her, but he never felt like he actually deserved it.

The silence feels extremely heavy, only the light wind can be heard now. Unconsciously, their face gets closer, their forehead now stuck against each other. It’s like their emotions are decoupled. They can feel everything, every movement, every heartbeat. Their hands almost merging together. Meryl can feel Vash’s breath against her face, ‘’smells like mint and beer’’ she thinks. His gaze drives down now.

And slowly, after what felt like a thousand years, the soft feeling of his lips invades her own.

The kiss is tender, and long, the both of them not quite able to separate. But when they do, it takes only a second for them to crash their lips against each other once again. Each new kiss, deeper than the previous one, brings more proximity than they both have ever felt. Meryl almost thought she saw a faint light of blue illuminating the man’s face but she brushes it off her mind, too eager to close the gap between them again.

When they painfully split from their embrace, their eyes stay locked, a shy excitement visible on each face. Their foreheads join again, they’re now laughing. It’s that kind of laugh you never thought you could hear from two broken people on a desert planet, but also the one they wish to never stop.

‘’Now we’ve done it huh.’’ Meryl says, closing her eyes, blotting herself against the tall blond.

‘’I never thought that day would come.’’ Vash is sincere. He actually still doesn’t understand how he could deserve to be blessed by such an amazing person. But for now, that thought is brushed away by meryl looking up at him once again.

‘’Will you stay with me tonight?’’