#tiny gay men

[cryptidtumbleweed]

I haven’t drawn them... in so long... help

[im-a-demon-i-lied]

‼️JEDTAVIUS FIC‼️

WARNINGS: Canon divergence, implied horniness

Description: set in a universe where Ahkmenrah changes his mind last minute to return to Brooklyn with the tablet. Jed is facing some confusion over some feelings he’s experiencing about Octavius. (Side note: I love the idea of Jed having some issues overcoming homophobia due to his historical era, but i really didn’t want to mess with that tonight)

It had been a week since the gang had returned from London. Jedediah had spent all night so far working on the train tracks. Moving rail sleepers, removing broken ones and replacing them. It was tiring work, even with his small crew of helpers. He found himself with rolled-up sleeves and his hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, strands of escaped sandy hair framed his sweaty face.

He hadn’t seen Octavius in a couple of days, and what he had seen of him since their return had been brief. He told himself that they were just busy restoring order in their respective dioramas, it had been a near-death experience and they were all coping with the fact that they almost all froze forever. Though that was partially true, deep down Jed knew there was another reason.

Something had… awakened… in Jed that night in London. He always knew there was something special about that Roman, Jed knew he loved to be around the general. But something had happened inside Jed when Octavious had taken his hand, when they had hugged. Just thinking about the touch made Jed’s face warm, a swarm of butterflies erupting in his stomach. His skin still tingled wherever they had made contact. More than that, it yearned for deeper, more intentional touch.

“Jed? Ya a’ight over there, partner?” Cody, another cowboy, hollered over to him with concern on his face “Ya got all red and have been staring at that wall for 5 minutes straight…”

“Huh? Oh yea I’m fine, thanks,” Jed rubbed a hand over his face, not realizing how long he had been just standing there.

“Ya wanna maybe sit down for a bit? Maybe the heats gettin’ to ya…” Cody gestured over to a shaded bench. By now, the other cowboys had stopped work to listen on to the conversation, nodding along with Cody in agreement.

“I’m fine, fellas, now get back to work.” Jed kneeled and began hammering a sleeper onto the rail, the others shrugged and began to return to their tasks.

“Jedediah?” a voice called, causing the cowboys to once again stop their work. Jed, however, was so deep in thought he didn’t hear his name being called.

The westerner next to him gave him a nudge, getting Jed’s attention. When he looked up, his eyes were met with those of the tan, muscular, roman.

Octavious’s face warmed at the sight of the cowboy, he had grease and dirt smeared onto his face, beads of sweat perched on his brows and forehead. Octavious had been in love with Jed since the moment they worked together to stop the old nightguards. His knees felt weak as he watched Jed take a glove off to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“Howdy, partner,” Jed insides churned and he felt the corner of his mouth creep up. The lighting made Oct glow even more than normal. What Jed would give to explore the body of this man that made the world disappear. “What brings ya ‘round these parts?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride around the museum? We haven’t done that in quite a while, I rather miss it…”

Jed could’ve sworn his heart stopped momentarily. It took all the strength he had to keep from running over to Octy, taking him in his arms and kissing hi— wow there cowboy- he stopped himself This is your bud your talking about, don’t be gettin all perverted

“Sorry, Oct, I got work to do here, rain check?” After those thoughts, he couldn’t trust himself alone with Octavious. What if he did something?

“Don’t sweat it, Jed, we got it covered, you’ve been working so hard lately you deserve a break.” Cody smiled at him and Oct. He knew since the beginning that these two had it bad for one another.

Goddamn Cody, sweetest guy but stupid. Jedediah cursed under his breath.

“No, I need to be here. Sorry Oct, it’ll have to wait,” it came off firmer than he meant it, but he really couldn’t risk doing something stupid until he figured out what was going on with him.

Octavious’s heart dropped. Jed never used to turn down their nightly car rides. He had felt Jed pulling away all week, and it hurt. His mind spiraled, did he say something? Do something? Tears welled in his eyes as he began thinking up worst case scenarios.

“Ok,” Oct choked out

Jed sensed pain in his voice and looked at Oct to see the matching expression. “Oct–”

Octavious had already turned and walked to the edge of the diorama, climbing down the rope.

“God fucking damnit!!” Jed shouted and threw his gloves into the dirt “Fuck!” He gave an exasperated sigh and stormed further into the diorama, leaving a wake of jaw-dropped cowboys.

Cody stared for a minute before snapping out of it, “Back to work! This railroad ain’t gonna fix itself!” he smacked the nearest miniature upside the head before returning to his job. The others quickly followed suit.

“You’ve really done it now, Jed,” Jed paced back and forth in the dirt as he scolded himself “All those dirty thoughts about your best friend? What in the sam hill were you thinking?” His accent exaggerated with rage. “Thinking ‘bout what his lips would feel like, his strong arms and thighs, what he would look like na— goddamnit!” He punched the closest thing to him, a rock, and instantly regretted it. “Shit! Fuck! Shit!” he shook his wrist before examining his bruised, bleeding knuckles. He had to do something about this. Now.

He arrived at the Egypt exhibit in the RC car, it felt weird without Oct. Ahk was scolding his guards

“I have told you two more times than there are grains of sand in the desert! Larry is my friend and you mustn't threaten him!”

“Uh Ahk– are ya busy?” Jed piped up. Ahk and the guards looked over. The guards stiffened before Ahk let them know Jed was another friend and they needed to stand down.

“What do you need, Jedediah?” He waved the guards away with a smile “Where’s Octavious?” he gave a confused look

“Well,’I need to talk,,,, and it’s kinda ‘bout him…” Jed stepped out of the car, rubbing the back of his neck. He let down his hair, not seeing the necessity of it anymore.

“Oh?” Ahk cocked his head curiously as he sat on the floor to get closer to Jed’s level.

“He’s my best friend, but ever since he held my hand in London, I’ve been feeling these weird feelings. My face gets all red when he’s around and my stomach gets a weird feelin’ in it, like i'm gonna puke… I mean I got the same sorta thing before but this is so much more intense… an’ I’ve been getting all these thoughts… mental images…” He rubbed his face, trying to dilute the current mental images plaguing him, “I used to think I hated physical touch. Any time I tried it with a woman, it just felt so wrong… but even though I know these thoughts and feelings are wrong… they just feel so right.” He hugged himself comfortingly.

“Jedediah, may I be completely honest?” Ahk looked at him and received a consensual nod “I think you may be homosexual, I also think you're also in love with Octavious…”

Jed was taken aback by this. “I–” he began to defend “I–” he thought about it, letting the words sink in and find their meaning, resonating in his mind.

“I… think I am…” he gave a defeated sigh “in love with Octavious…”

Ahk gave a smile “ I’m very proud of you, Jedediah. That is amazing.”

“Thanks, Ahk, ‘preciate it.” a smile formed as he recognized the trueness of the words “I’m in love with Oct. I am in LOVE with OCTAVIUS!” he gave a texas hell yea and jumped back into the car “ Thanks again, pardner,” He exchanged a wave with Ahk before speeding off.

Octavius laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Was he really losing his best friend? The man he was in love with? He sighed and said a prayer to Venus under his breath.

Almost immediately, there was a pounding at the door, “Octy?” a western voice called from the other side.

Octavius sat up. He blinked at the door. He knew by the voice it was Jedediah. Either Venus had answered his prayer or some other god was messing with him. “Uhm… Come in?”

Jed came bursting through the door but froze almost immediately, sudden doubt running through his head. Oct was frozen too, terrified of the next words to come out of Jed’s mouth. They stayed staring for a minute.

Come on, Jed, ya can’t let doubt win ya over now… did ya doubt when you had to cross the Mississippi River? Exactly. Gut up and tell ‘im

“I…” His voice trailed off… What if Oct didn’t feel the same? What if he ruined everything? Oct looked so tense, did he do that?

“I–”

“I’m sorry, Jedediah, I must’ve done something to make you not want to be my friend anymore. Whatever it is, I swear I will make it my mission to make it up to you–”

This caught Jed off guard, especially when he saw tears in Oct’s eyes “What? Not want to be your friend?? NO! God, no!” He moved closer, tears forming in his own eyes, he never wanted to cause Oct this much pain.

“You’ve been pulling back lately… it’s like you don’t want to be around me anymore,

Jed sat next to Octavius, pulling his hat over his eyes with a sigh, “it ain’t that, not at all. The complete opposite, really… I’m so happy ‘round ya. More happy than with anyone else. I thought it was ‘cause you’re my best friend, but when ya held my hand in London and when ya hugged me…” his voice trailed off and he caught a glimpse of Octavius, staring at him, hanging on to his every word.

“Octy… I’m a homosexual… and I’m in love with ya…” next thing he knew, there were arms flung around him. Octavius’s arms. The butterflies became fast and vicious in his stomach

Octavius couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his cowboy’s mouth–

“Thank you, Venus,” Octavius whispered as he wrapped his arms around Jed’s body.

“What was that?” Jed gave an awkward chuckle, unsure if this hug meant ‘I support you’ or ‘I feel the same’

“Nothing. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that. I’m in love with you, as well” Octavius smiled, finally being able to tell Jed his feelings.

Jed’s face lit up as he returned the hug, allowing himself to bury his face into the crook of the roman’s neck, he didn’t know how much he needed this…

Octavius blushed a deep crimson “Does this make us…” he didn’t even have time to finish the sentence before Jed nodded into his neck.

Jed moved his head so he could speak clearly “would it be ok if I kissed ya?”

Octavius almost died at that. He couldn’t believe this was real. He nodded.

Soon his lips were met with Jed’s. He was kissing Jedediah Smith. Jedediah Smith, his boyfriend. After they parted, they stayed in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

A/N: am i a slut for some good fluff? yes. do i need it after today? yes. I loved writing this fic. it’s not the best but i still love it!! hope you enjoyed :))

[lemonboyjosten]

[canisalbus]

you say machete has to be closeted then why's he always wearing them little heels

Maybe he thinks he's a tiny bit nicer looking in them.

[guaxinimraccoon]

Por algum motivo eu tenho a impressão que a Siri humana seria uma dançarina ou lutadora de boxe com um pai policial

"For some reason, I have the impression that human Siri would be a box fighter with a cop dad"

ok I LOVED THIS and now is canon, thank you very much

Just the part where she is a box fighter though, in the human AU her dad is the mayor of the city bc she is an imp princess lol but we can pretend he's a cop for this ask

It totally suits her, loved the idea so much

And her imp boyfriend loved it even more! When he thought he couldn't get more flustered…

[oi-isha-oi]

I can’t believe Jed and Octavius from Night At The Museum invented homosexuality. They’re such heroes.

[lkrmacro]

Your journey all the way in.

[bradandchris]

Chris looked outside at the chaos below in search of its cause. Whatever presented itself here was big… really big. Like BIG, BIG.

Well, it was a good thing his thong was tiny. Perhaps it might help balance things out. Gay fashion always did thrive on size differences and exaggerated proportions.

Whatever it was, it was what it was, and what that was Chris didn’t know.

The people below sure seemed pretty clued in tho…

What Chris needed was more back up …but could he wear more than one thong? The thought consumed him. This second thong thing was a first.

Wait …no. No it wasn’t. He and his equally hot boyfriend Brad did that all the time when dancing. More layers meant more tips as they poured in every time something was taken off. So then what the f was this whole fiasco below all about?!?

Chris found himself more frustrated than ever. He was either at the cusp of figuring it out or really really horny and just not aware of its manifestation…

Well… In a stroke of luck, the whole thing blew over a few minutes later when Brad came in the room. He was already stirred up by some random exhibitionist that was live streaming and didn’t know it. Brad almost felt bad for the guy but he was just too hot to let that in.

Chris wouldn’t make the connection until catching himself on the balcony webcam grilling extra plump double jumbo hot dogs on their balcony wearing the same vintage blue Body Aware thong the following St Patrick’s Day.

You know, if it wasn’t for his deep disdain for getting pinched, Chris may have never figured it out.

[fuckspn]

wrote a whole long post about dean’s relationship to his queerness and then deleted it because i couldn’t put it better than: there is a word i know. but i can’t say it. i can’t think it. i’ll just keep drawing horses

[valsnonsense]

It's them the boys my love's the lights if my life the yees to my haws my oTP-

I can't even begin to explain why I love them for me they just WORK-

John has been alone for so long, stewing in his regrets and failures as an older brother. He needs a gentle figure in his life to assure him that he matters and that he deserves love because despite all the mistakes he's made he's working to change

Trollex doesn't have much screen time, but he strikes me as a kind, gentle, and loving. He's open to the inclusion of other genres of Trolls, and strives to be a better King because of it.

In my personal headcanons, Trollex doesn't have a good relationship with his family because of how willing he is to let other Trolls in their kingdom. So he's lived most of his life trying to apease someone who was never gonna give him a chance, unless he went back to their old ways.

But when he meets John, someone who is unabashedly himself, he falls hard. And John falls right back, falling into the arms of this gentle giant who's more than willing to tell him how much he's loved over and over again.

These two are cheesy as hell and can often be found with their foreheads pressed together, whispering sweet nothings to one another.

They found each other late in life, but by god they're gonna make the most of it.

I could go on for hours about these two and frankly I already have so imma cut it off here and just say these two are without a doubt my OTP and I can't stop thinking about them-

[aigaysizedif]

Size difference.... is good.

[hoss-bonaventure]

honestly billy the puppet was probably gay-bait for john. he wheeled that puppet into the room and mark hoffman was like “alright i can see you’re an ally, i’m sold”. or something to that extend.

[bookshelfpassageway]

with all due affection i am taking the word "twink" away from the Captain Laserhawk fandom until it can be used responsibly

[lemonboyjosten]

andreil made it to 10000 fics

we did it fam!

[sassywiththesas]

Your red lipstick stained my soul..

[artistofolympus]

Imagine the caption for this on snap chat " Me and my anaemic boyfriend"💀

Sorry this took so long cramps are KILLING me