#tis only right that they be drowning in girls who wants 2 kiss them

[elfcollector]

i cant believe ciel and the god eater 2 protagonist are deeply in love. canonically

[call-sign-shark]

A Red-Letter Day || Part 1/2

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Civil!Reader

PART 1 || PART 2

Summary: Jake receives a mysterious letter from a woman he has never met.  She wrote the date on which she wants to end her life. Obsessed by this stranger he nicknamed “Birdie”, he will do his best to save her.

Content: Angst, mention of suicide attempt stopped at the right moment, fluff, very soft interactions, Hangman being a hero <3

Word count: 1.6k 

Song: La Lettre  - Renan Luce (the inspiration behind this short story)

“Dear Nicholas, 

I am writing you this letter since I don’t find the courage to call you. Hearing your voice would hurt my soul a little more, and I think I’ve cried enough tears for you. Far be it from me to bother you, but I need to write my feelings down. Now, I won’t beg you to come back since you have already made the decision to cut ties with me.

You stole my heart only to break it into millions of pieces. You shattered my very soul as you left, destroying the last snippets of hope I had for you and me. I could live with the fact that all your promises were lies, but I cannot handle the consequences of your cowardice. 

I am going to kill myself this Sunday. I’ll jump from the cliff where we met.

I cannot take it anymore. This life has worn me out.

 I thought you would be the remedy to my wounds, but the truth is you were the knife that reopened them and created new ones. Now I am just a mess of aching flesh. My last wish is to fly high in the sky and disappear in the clouds, where I belong.

I won’t sing for you anymore.

Your little bird,

Y/X “

Jake brought the letter to his nose, smelling the delicate perfume the it had been sprayed with. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nostrils, loudly. Jake Hangman Seresin had never been a romantic man. Throughout his uni years as a fratboy, all he wanted was fucking without strings attached, which he did. Then he became a pilot and decided to focus on his job. As much as he loved being an aviator, this was a far too taxing life to have a stable relationship and build a family… But when he opened up the letter and read this woman line after line, he felt his heart breaking. Coping with what he just read, Jake reopened his lids and looked at the letter in its smallest details. He noticed the red lipstick stain the little bird-girl had left with her mouth just under her signature. A faint smile appeared on the pilot’s thin lips when he thought about her kissing the letter. Then, his  green eyes caught sight of a few places in which the paper was crinkled. He squinted, wondering what could have caused it. The little voice in his head had barely finished asking the question that Jake’s body tensed. Tears had fallen on the letter. That was why the paper was crinkled from here and there. Birdie had been crying her eyes out while writing her sad and planned demise down.

"What are you doing? We've been waiting for you for almost one hour. Rooster's already drunk." Coyote's voice popped his thought bubble, causing him to grunt.

Yet, Jake kept his green eyes fixed on the perfumed letter. The woman's writing was slightly wobbly as if she had trouble writing because of her heartbreaking sobs. The blonde pilot shook his head: how come that poor bird decided to end her life because of some damn cunt? Where was the cliff she talked about in her letter? Questions were racing through his head, drowning his surroundings and overwhelming his senses. Was she really going to kill herself? Or was it some kind of emotional blackmail? 

"Hangman."

He did not answer. To be honest, he had not even heard his best friend's voice, for he was far too lost in his thoughts. He was trying to comprehend what was the full story behind this heart-wrenching farewell.

"Jake, man." 

Jake came back to reality. He looked around him, utterly confused. Time seemed to have disappeared for a moment. The pilot raised his gaze toward his best friend, who had to shake him out of his lethargy.

"Gosh, you freaked me out. The fuck is wrong with you?" Coyote raised an eyebrow, his dark and suspicious gaze was staring at him. Something was definitely wrong with Hangman.

"Am fine." 

The two knew each other since flying school and they soon became inseparable. They had been through exhausting training, taxing exams, and tests, yet never he had seen Jake that concerned. Coyote snorted with worry as he observed his best friend ignoring him and shifting his focus back to the handwritten letter he was holding.

"Who is it from?"

"I don't know, man." Jake retorted, absent-mindedly. All his being was obsessed with the letter. He could not keep his green eyes from it, as if the answer to all his questioning would miraculously appear through the cryptic lines.

Coyote opened his eyes wide, astounded by such an answer. He leaned back against the wall, arms, and feet crossed: " So you're telling me that someone sent you a letter but you don't know who is it from? Next thing you're gonna tell me is that it comes from a secret admirer." He teased.

"Fuck off, dude." Jake almost snapped.

The smile faded from Coyote's lips instantly. He, who thought Hangman was joking all along, really started to worry for his best friend. Without thinking twice, Coyote grabbed a chair and sat next to Jake. His voice's tone softened.

"Okay, okay. What's the matter? Can you explain it to me?"

"It came to my mail this morning," He said, waving the letter, "There was no address written on the envelope but it is addressed to a certain Nicholas," Jake brought the letter to his nose again to smell the feminine fragrance, "I think the postman delivered it by mistake."

"And what's the problem? I mean, you are acting super weird about it. Delivery mistakes happen a lot y'know. All you have to do is give back the letter to the mail office and they'll deal with it." Coyote rocked back and forth on his chair. He did not understand why Hangman was making a fuss over a mistake.

"The problem is I read the letter. I was curious because as you can smell, it has perfume on it. And because someone drew a bird on it."

"I know people say that curiosity killed the cat but that's okay, it's no big deal."

"You don't seem to understand, Javy. The girl who wrote that shit is going to kill herself."

Jake's words fell on him like a guillotine's blade on a prisoner's neck. His lips parted, startled by the revelation: "What? What do you mean she's going to kill herself?"

"She wrote it in there! I looked at the stamp and it had been sent three days ago."

"Do you think she-" Coyote's words remained stuck in his throat. He did not want to think about the girl's woeful fate.

"No, I don't think she did yet. She wrote the date of her suicide, and it's tomorrow. God, Javy. We have to do something. " Jake turned his head to stare at his best friend, his green emerald eyes glistening with concern.

"What? But Jake, how do you want us to do something about that? Bro, you don't even know where she lives. Even if we did, imagine if it's at the other end of the country! You're not gonna teleport in her living room to tell her not to kill herself¨" The whole situation was so incredible for Coyote that he had trouble realizing it was really happening, " or maybe it is some kind of sick joke?"

"No one would joke about that, dumbass!" 

"Oh, Hell I dunno! We should call the cops then!" He was starting to panic.

"No, no, no. They won't do anything about it. There's no address, nothing. They'll just throw the letter away." Jake shook his head. Giving the letter to the police was absolutely out of question. Birdie needed help. Birdie needed his help. He gently hugged the paper against his pounding heart, thinking hard.

"Fuuuuck- that sucks!" Coyote complained. He had thrown his head back and pressed the palm of his hands against his face. He was utterly discomfited by such a dramatic situation. Hell, he was a pilot! Not a psychologist of some sort.

"I'm going to find her. I don't know how, but I will."

"Jake, don't be stupid. You only have one day left and you don't even know where to start! " Coyote complained.

"I fucking don't care, I'll save Birdie. She needs someone to help her!" Jake clenched his jaws. His eyes fell on the letter again searching for the slightest detail he would have omitted.

"Birdie? Is that her name?"

"Not really, that's... Nevermind." Jake waved the comment off. He had no time to explain this insignificant detail to Javy.

Time was playing against them. Coyote stared at his best friend, even more confused than before. He sighed. What kind of situation would they get themselves into? Anxiety started creeping again inside his brain. Somehow Jake was right, they could not let a young woman kill herself without batting an eye. Even more when taking into account that she would be dead long before the main addressee would receive her suicide note. Yet, a fear remained in Coyote's head. What if they found her a few seconds before she killed herself? What if people mistake their actions and charge them with murder? He looked up at Jake, who was examining the stamp. 

"Gimme that." Coyote finally gave up and grabbed the letter. He decided that helping Jake was better than sitting there without doing anything like an idiot.

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓸, 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾

character(s): izuku midoriya x gn!reader (x katsuki bakugou) 

a/n: gosh i love angst (quick note!! i edit to the best of my ability, however it’s easy to miss things, and i type 100 words per minute, so im sorry if i miss some things!) this ain’t a poly relationship btw, i don’t feel like i could write that well (no shame to people who do!! personally i feel like i would butcher it) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

based off the song: it’s my party by lesley gore

summary: y/n realizes going to katsuki bakugou’s wedding was a mistake

genre: angst all the way shawties 

warnings: light cursing, heartbreak, alcohol, one-sided pining (reader), aged up/pro-hero au, sad reminiscing bc ahaha bakugou made us sad :’) and a crap load of references to the song, friend zoning (eesh) 

word count: 2,566

ik yall are waiting for a part 2 of brutal and part 3 of you’re not my boyfriend but this idea just struck i had to get it down pls 

- - - 

“let’s raise a toast to our finest lovebirds, my best friend and his wife, katsuki bakugou and ochaco uraraka!” kirishima took a sip of champagne. 

you lifted your beverage in unison with the others seated at your table but did not drink. you blinked down at the fizzing beverage. 

“we wish you all the best,” kirishima said. “you and your best buds have no doubt you two’ll be known as some of the most indestructible symbols of peace.” 

another wave of applause passed among the crowd. the last toast was finished and the music resumed. your entire table left you sitting. it wasn’t like you knew anyone here, anyways. nobody except for the few classmates bakugou was still in touch with. 

those people consisted of izuku midoriya, who was sitting at the table across from you, as well as across the dance floor. 

the lights twinkled up again, red, blue, and green flashing along the floor. 

you couldn’t deny it. bakugou in a red suit, uraraka in a wedding dress fell just above her knees, a red bow tied around her waist. you did not doubt that if you were to be sold as a healthy person on the black market, that dress would still be worth more than you. 

the only comfort you had was midoriya, who had greeted you when you came in, but the two of you had exchanged no further words. but he looked equally as miserable as you. 

uraraka and bakugou were perfect together. they looked happy. and you were happy to see bakugou happy. happy to see uraraka happy with him. 

bakugou dipped his newlywed wife to the beat of the music. her back arched perfectly into his large hands. 

what hurts the most was that, while you wished it was you instead of her on that dance floor, you knew it wouldn’t work out. 

not that you and bakugou wouldn’t have worked out. the two of you were a perfect couple! 

what hurts the most was that it was a wish, and in every near universe, you still didn’t have that ring. 

uravity and dynamight simply looked...happier. 

- 

you stormed out, shaking. why was your katsuki kissing her? holding her when it should have been you? 

deep down, you knew you had no right. you and bakugou were barely a couple. throughout his years at yuuei, he’d calmed down immensely. so much that he could strike up a conversation with nearly everyone. as it turns out, introverted katsuki bakugou was a shameless flirt. 

the two of you exchanged flitting glances from time to time, but it was never anything serious. at least to him, it wasn’t. 

you knew he’d never taken the flirting seriously, and you also knew about his aching feelings for uraraka. how he covered his mouth whenever she walked by. how his voice raised just a bit, and how soft his eyes got. 

you shouldn’t have been surprised. he never even hinted that he might have had romantic feelings for you. 

the entire room erupted with applause as he kissed her. the katsuki bakugou, kissing someone? pfft, only in dreams. 

for some, the dream would be good. like uraraka, who had shamelessly kissed him back. 

for you, it was a complete nightmare. 

the blaring music, the lights, the balloons, the ‘happy graduation class of 1-A!’ 

you drowned it all out. you curled your knees to your chest. you had no right to be hurt. not at all. they were his emotions. you had no control over them. 

loneliness clouded over you. your chest screamed with longing. a longing to be held. be wanted by him. 

you were alone. nobody was coming to comfort you. nobody was- 

the door opened, clicking shut just as quickly. someone sniffled. 

your eyes flicked up from your knees. 

“y/n? i...i’m sorry, i had no idea anyone was out here...i can leave...”

“it’s alright, izuku.” 

- 

izuku took a swig from a bottle containing something much heavier than champagne. 

that same tug in your chest came about. you were tired of seeing the billboards, the magazines. tired of seeing the unquestionably perfect relationship, perfect love bloom right before you. 

dynamight and uravity this! dynamight and uravity that! 

the music was loud enough, the lights were busy enough, and the people were ignorant enough to neglect your crying figure. 

this was supposed to be my party. he loved me first. 

- 

“you okay?” you asked, swiping your nose. 

izuku looked back at the graduation party. “no, y/n. i’m not.” 

“then we’re both absolute shit.” you let him help you up. “why’re you crying?” 

“just...just uraraka.” 

“for me it’s just bakugou.” 

just as bakugou had calmed down during his years at yuuei, izuku had earned a sense of sarcasm. “are they just oblivious or stupid?” 

“goodness, izuku,” you joked, pressing a hand to your shuddering chest. “calling uraraka stupid?” 

he gave you a sad side-smile. you listened in silence as the upbeat music played on. 

“i guess we’re the stupid ones.” he sighed, chest heaving a little. 

“i guess,” you agreed. he pulled you into a hug, and you let the tears flow. your sobs corrupted your chest as you curled into his arms. “why? why did it have to be her?” 

“not all heroes end up happy, y/n.” 

you looked up at him, eyes puffy, sniffling. “why can’t we be part of that small portion of heroes who are?” 

izuku looked up, trying to neglect the water pooling in his own eyes. “i guess...well, not to be a narcissist—” he let out a breathy chuckle, “―but if you noticed, all the greatest heroes die with some kind of regret.” 

“maybe i don’t want to be a good hero.” you ignored his efforts to lighten the mood. 

“heroes don’t always get to choose whether they’ll be good or not. some things just happen.”

“i’m sorry, izuku.” you swiped at your eyes. “you’re hurt just as badly as me. i don’t want to make it—” 

“hey.” izuku gently pried your hands away from your face, fingers ghosting over your wrists. his emerald eyes gleamed as they stared into yours. “don’t invalidate your feelings just because of me. we’re both hurting, but that doesn’t mean i won’t listen to you.” 

your sobs came back again, and you fell into his chest. 

- 

bakugou spun uraraka, laughing gently as she twirled in his arms. his eyes lit up whenever he saw her. they twinkled. he sparkled. his smile was dazzling. and he was everything you never had. 

you were a heartbroken mess, even after all these years. there was a list of all the reasons you were mad at him, and yourself. 

your sobs were almost uncontrollable, and at this point, you were shocked nobody came to check on you. not that you cared very much. even if you were making a small effort to hide your face, it still would have been nice to feel a touch on your shoulder, someone perhaps shaking you gently to make sure you were awake. 

not that you’d tell them what was wrong. you just wanted to know somebody cared, and to have the option to talk to somebody if you needed to do so. 

but here you were. cheesy, upbeat fifties music echoed along the walls of the room. bakugou had secretly adored artists from back then, and you’d often catch him dancing and singing along to long-forgotten oldies. 

if you weren’t his best friend, you would have blown off coming here and binge-watched ‘my best friend’s wedding’ and sobbed. 

your head was down, forehead leaning on the backs of your forearms stacked upon each other. tears were streaming down, your shoulders shuddering with each weak breath sucked in and released. 

until bakugou chose you, you had no reason to smile. at least not now. by no means were you desperate. love sometimes did that to people. made them look needy, look unwanted. 

you’ve had plenty of options in the past, but the one person who you wanted didn’t want you back. didn’t even care. 

since the graduation party, uraraka and you had been a bit tense. a part of her felt like she knew how you felt, and how bakugou mattered to you more than anyone in the world. 

after the first year, she began abandoning izuku and ignoring his emotions towards her. after she and bakugou found each other, they had already known they would settle with one another. 

you and izuku had never been close, but you were both good friends and were there when you needed one another. 

he had walked you through your pain of senior year, and you’d helped him reach a lot of his goals, too. but bakugou just didn’t seem to care anymore. not even about becoming the number one hero. he looked at uraraka like she was his goal, his new dream, the reason he was happy. he looked at her and saw that he had the world in his hands and wanted to keep it that way. 

you? you were pluto. exiled from the rest of the planets. exiled from the rest of his options, when you used to be his first. 

- 

“y/n?”

you and izuku backed away from each other. you’d both been crying for quite a bit. how long it had been, you were both unsure. 

uraraka now stood at the door. you peeked into the window, leaning back a bit and catching glances of the blonde, who was currently being clapped on the back by his friends, congratulated for ‘getting the girl’. 

“are you guys okay?’ uraraka asked. 

“would you cry, uraraka?” 

she tilted her head. “what?” 

you pushed yourself off of izuku. “do you think you’d cry if you saw me kissing him, too?” 

“what’re you―” 

“you would cry, too! you would be sobbing!” you stabbed an accusatory finger at her. “you were my friend! you knew how i felt, and you’re kissing him?” 

uraraka’s eyes widened. “i...i’m sorry. it all just happened, and i—”

“shut the hell up, uraraka. you ruined this party. for me and izuku.” 

perhaps you went a bit far, but in your heart and your mind, you knew she deserved it. she knew. uraraka had known. 

izuku gave uraraka a sympathetic look before pressing a hand to your back and leading you away. 

- 

it still came as a bit of a shock that uraraka had let bakugou invite you to their wedding. gosh. little, domestic bakugou, sealing invitations and batting his eyes at his oh-so-sweet wife so he could invite his best friend. 

little domestic uraraka sweetly kissing her fiance on the cheek and pouting as she said, “how can i say no?” 

it was disgusting, and everything you wanted to have with him. 

you allowed yourself to be selfish this one time. after all, you deserved it. you’d endured hours of bakugou blabbering on about how sweet uraraka was. everything you weren’t. 

you took the bottle to champagne. your ankles were aching as you stumbled out of the room. your vision blurred, becoming foggy with tears. not one person stopped you. you guessed because nobody noticed. 

like graduation night, you slumped down right outside the doors to the party, the music, lights, and laughter muffled. the only difference was that you had a bottle of champagne and the man of your dreams was gone. for good, this time. 

-

“i wish she noticed me. it was like, after first year, the uraraka i knew just vanished.” 

you nodded. you and midoriya were wandering the streets, cool air brushing down your neck and on your face as cars passed. 

“uraraka was so sweet, but she lost feelings so fast and...ugh.” midoriya ran a hand through his hair, ruffling his curls. “i’m still a bit...baffled. i know people change, but she and kacchan both switched up so fast.” 

“i don’t want to say they’re jackasses, but they’re kind of jackasses.” 

izuku rubbed your shoulder as you leaned on him while the two of you walked. “don’t say that.” 

“sorry,” you breathed. 

“no more being sorry. being sorry all the time leads to shit like this.” 

you chuckled. “yeah, it does.” you sniffed. “did i take you away from the party? you can go back if you want.” 

he shrugged. “’s all right. i don’t mind.” 

“do you want to be here or would you rather be in there?”

“out here with you. i can’t be there right now.” 

“me too.” 

- 

“let me guess.” 

you looked up and scoffed softly. 

“this was supposed to be your party?” 

you nodded. “my party, my groom. i’m not supposed to be crying at my party, am i?” 

your friend shook his head. “not at all. cheer up, y/n.” 

izuku slid down the wall, sitting beside you. he rested his arms on his knees, twisting open his own bottle of champagne. “you look like a mess.”

“and you look like you need anger management.” you smiled. 

he grinned back. “do i now?” 

“yeah, you do. you should have seen yourself sitting there. all alone, the one person drinking something that wasn’t the fifty-thousand yen drinks.” 

“54,795.75 yen, to be exact.” 

you raised an eyebrow. “you’re insane. you kidding me? why do you know that?” 

“i was the weird kid who took notes on everyone in the class. of course i would know this. i’m offended you think i wouldn’t.” 

you tilted your head back in laughter. “gosh, izuku.” 

“mhm.” 

there was a pause. comfortable silence filled the space, broken by you sigh after gulping down your drink. “so they’re gone?” 

“i’d rather not dwell on it.” 

“how old are we now?” 

izuku gave a breathy chuckle. “twenty-five.” 

you smiled. “really, now? and i thought i would be married by now.” 

“me too. ‘s a shame.” 

“how about, if we’re both still not married by the time we’re forty, we get married to each other, adopt three children and we become hot parents.” 

“three?” 

“yeah, we can have a mini hero agency.” 

“that’s horrifying. but i agree. having a mini hero agency would be pretty amazing.” 

“i’m glad you agree with me, izuku.” you brushed a curl from his eyes. 

“can’t wait until i’m forty,” he smirked. 

“me neither.” 

“maybe by then we would have forgotten all of this?” 

“we’ll be fighting a villain, and we get our memories erased, and then we fall in love because we wake up beside each other in the hospital. we’re both equally confused.” you peppered him with jokes. “it’s a journey we will go on together.” 

“can’t wait until my memory gets erased.” 

“do you wanna get out of here?”

izuku shook his head. “it’s their wedding. we can’t. we shouldn’t.” 

you gave him a silly look. 

“you’re always such trouble, y/n.” 

“if you hate it, then wipe that stupid grin off your face.” 

izuku’s features softened. “maybe i like it. but only sometimes.” he took your head and lead you out, leaving his drink behind while you took yours. 

a single tear rolled down your cheek. he didn’t erase all your pain, nor your feelings for bakugou. it wasn’t what you needed, no. 

you just needed a friend. a real one. one that wouldn’t steal your dream from you. and that’s what you knew you had right now. 

besides, things could happen in the future, right? 

you smiled, and let the cold air touch your skin. 

[roger-that-cap]

tolerate it

part 2/2 of cardigan!

so, this is the follow up to my first ever one shot (guess not anymore LMAO) up here! i sincerely hope that you guys like this, because it was like pulling teeth for this one. every now and again i’d find a golden one and smack it in there and hope that one decent line made up for all the others.

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

this was the hardest thing ive ever had to write (simply because there was so much emotion in it and it was hard to reel myself back in just to cast out again) and i had to write a paper on nathaniel hawthorne.

warnings: pretty angsty for me, bittersweet, um- why do i write angst, DRAMATICS hahaha

word count: 4.5k!

would like to remind you that i do not own taylor swift songs! this one borrows a little from tolerate it, the best song on evermore imho (tied with coney island).

You knew that opening the door was going to be a hard part, but what you didn’t prepare for was actually listening to her. You could have stared at her for eternity in silence, just harping on everything good and bad that ever happened between the two of you. You could imagine a thousand different scenarios where the two of you were happy and none of this had occurred, but that wasn’t the case. She didn’t come to you to stare and leave.

“Thank you,” Natasha said, her voice throaty as she took a cautious first step into your space. Your space. It sounded weird, and you knew that it felt weird to her. You two had shared everything for the longest, and now you had your own place to live in. “Thank you for letting me in.”

“You came to talk,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively, and she didn’t miss the obvious tell of your body language. “I won’t make you waste your time. Say your piece, and then...” you trailed off, both of you knowing full well where you were going with it. 

“Can I just start with the fact that I’m so sorry,” she blurted, and you have her an unamused look as you sat on your couch, and she sat on the edge of it. “And that I don’t know why that happened. I don’t expect for you to ever forgive me, and I don’t forgive myself. I won’t ever forgive myself for hurting you so badly, and having such a lapse in judgement. I’m sorry.”

“What was it that was different?” You asked, the question that had been haunting you for a while now finally escaping your lips. When she gave you a confused look, you stared back at her. “What was so different about whatever happened on the mission?”

You didn’t ask what you did wrong, because you didn’t do anything wrong. It took you weeks to know that, weeks to come to the conclusion, but you knew. It wasn’t anything that you lacked, it was something that Natasha did. Whether it was loyalty, restraint, a moral compass, or even something else, you didn’t think that it was you.

“There was nothing different.”

You were trying to hold it together, but you knew that you were seconds from falling apart right in front of the person who had destroyed you. “You don’t have to lie.”

She made a face. “There wasn’t. There was nothing about her that was better than you, I swear.”

But there was nothing different. There was nothing different in the way that you held her to the way that Abigail did, then. There must have been nothing different in the way that you kissed her in the morning. Nothing special about how you would dance with her on the third of the month simply because you liked the number three. There was nothing special about the way you held her hand and rubbed her back and sometimes sang her to sleep when she needed it. And there was certainly nothing different or special about the way that you let her put her head on your chest, just so that she could hear your heart beating.

Maybe what you did was different or special to you and not to her. And maybe it was time for you to finally realize it, whether it hurt or not.

Your emotions were threatening to come through, and you couldn’t have that happen. “I thought you came to talk. Talking requires truth.”

“I did,” she rushed, and then she sighed and wiped her palms on her thighs. You knew what that was. Of course you knew what she was. That was her being nervous. “I just wanted you to know that I love you, I love you so much, no matter what you choose. I never meant for any of it to happen, and I hate myself for making you feel that way.”

“You knew what happened with the others,” you said, and you knew that she knew that you were talking about the men who used to cheat on you without thinking twice. You saw her wince. “You knew how I felt about dishonesty. You knew how long it took me to be fully trusting of you, and you ruined it for two months of fun?”

“I know I did.”

“Do you know that, Natasha?” You asked, your voice starting to raise a bit. “I trusted you, and then I gave you everything I had. There wasn’t a piece of me that wasn’t for you, don’t you get that? I painted a portrait of us with the best colors I had and you opened the door on me doing the finishing touches and threw black paint over it.”

She was surprised that you were actually allowing yourself to be angry, and that made you even more upset. You were allowed to be pissed. “I’m sorry,” she breathed out, a thin layer of tears in her eyes.

“I did- I had everything lying out on the table for you emotionally. It was wrapped so pretty for you when I helped you through your own stuff, and it waited until you were ready. There wasn’t a thing you didn’t know, not a secret kept from you. And I still can’t believe that you returned me being in love with you, with that.”

“It didn’t mean anything to me. None of it meant anything to me at all, I swear.”

“It meant something to Abigail,” you said, and you saw her flinch. “It meant something to the girl that told you that she loved you. And if I’m not mistaken, you told her the same. So did it really not mean something, or are you an even larger liar than I thought?”

“It didn’t mean anything.” For a spy, she was quite easy to read. Or maybe you just spent so much time knowing her that it was impossible to not know her inside and out. You knew her every movement that she made when she lied, and you knew what she looked like when she was telling the truth. This, this wasn’t it.

And it destroyed you.

“Don’t you understand how that feels? It feels like being cut a thousand times by the fancy blade that you made yourself. It feels like being bitten by your own dog. It feels like being nearly drowned in the oceans that you’ve swam in for forever. We were so close! We were so close that I was sure that we were predestined or some of that cheesy shit, Natasha. I could have sworn that we were meant for each other, but now I know that we were, because the betrayal that you did cut me down into a million pieces. That was something that neither of the others were able to do. That’s something that only you could do, and I trusted you not to do it. I never thought you could do it. I thought that you loved me far too much to pull the shit that you did.

“Maybe I was foolish enough to make the knife right in front of you, but I trusted you to know it was there and not use it against me. And you still stabbed me with it.” Your voice cracked and you could feel warm tears falling into your hand, but you didn’t care. You had to keep going. “How could you see me give and give and give to you, for you, and then tolerate it and go see someone else?”

She was breathing heavily after your rant, like she had spoken the words instead. A singular tear came down her face, and you thanked whoever was sitting above and watching for the crack in her mask. You were begging to see her half as emotional as you, half as hurt by her own actions.

You knew that it was different when you saw her wipe her tear. She never wiped her tears around you. You were the only one who got to see them, but you supposed not even you were allowed to see it anymore.

“I can’t even begin-” her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I regret what happened.”

“How do you regret-” you pursed your lips and shook your head, closing your eyes for a second as your heart clenched. “How do you regret falling in love with someone?”

“I don’t love her-”

“Do you love me?” You asked.

“More than I love anything else in the entire world.”

“You loved her more if you risked me losing me, Natasha.” You said, and her brows shot up at your conclusion. “You know what would happen if you did that to me and I found out. You knew you would lose me, and you did it anyway. So you two must have had something special. Congrats.”

“No, you’re-”

The temper that you tried to keep in check was bubbling over again, and you realized that there was no checking yourself. “Do you know how long I waited for you and never cheated? Never had sex with anyone else, never went on a date with anyone else? For just as long as you were supposed to! And I managed! So what’s wrong with you?”

“Y/N, I think we should calm down a little. Let’s talk it out for a second.”

“I’ve been talking it out. All by myself, actually, because you’re too afraid to do a damn thing and admit that you fucked up for two months straight.” You closed your eyes again as you felt the hurt come back up. “How do I know it was just that time? How do I know that?”

There was a silence that spoke volumes. “You don’t.”

“And what if we got back together, after all of this?” It was hypothetical, but seeing the hope perk up in her sparked something that you hadn’t felt towards her in forever. Or, you had, it was just smothered by the heat of your fury. “How would I know that you aren’t off pulling the same thing you did earlier?”

“You’d have to trust me.”

“Well, I can’t do that. I literally can’t,” you cried out, putting your head in your hands and shaking you head. It was quiet except for the sounds of your cries, and it was ominous. There was never a quiet moment between you and Natasha, but you were dying out, fizzling away. You already had your Big Bang, now you were creating black holes that would forever remain on opposite sides of the universe. And you both knew it.

“You- you humiliated me,” you shook your head from left to right again, face still hidden. “You had an affair with a younger girl, you did it in front of the people I shared a living space with. You did it shamelessly in front of the people I cooked meals for every day, the people who’s fucking uniforms I ironed! They were my friends too, Natasha, and you humiliated me. You made them keep your dirty secret, did you apologize to them?”

“I haven’t spoken to them much.”

“I had to figure out from Pepper in front of the wedding dress store,” you continued, your throat tightening. “I was there getting the dress that I was going to walk down the aisle in. Everything was perfect, and then you did something that shattered what I thought couldn’t be broken.” You had thought that you and Natasha were rock solid, the hardest stone. You two were diamonds that sparkled and prevailed together, until you learned that you were truly just glass.

She leaned forward, giving you a look that you knew meant honesty. But it was far too late for that, and it wasn’t going to do Natasha much good now. “I wish every second of the day that I didn’t do it, Y/N. Every second of every day.”

Your lips turned into a scowl. “Wishing doesn’t do anything for us. We’re not little kids and we’re not princesses.”

That word, wishing, must have been the one to do her in, because she was sobbing right into her own sleeve, an arm covering her eyes from your sight. Your tears were subsiding, and you watched her with thinly pressed lips. Watching her cry was never pleasant.

“I’m so, so sorry. I can’t- I can’t imagine how you must feel, but I’m so sorry. I don’t know why- I can only apologize to you and beg that you’ll welcome me back to you, where I’m supposed to be.” Your eye twitched as you listened, and told yourself to keep your strength up. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, baby, but I know now. I know who I’m meant to be with, and it wasn't her. It’s you, it always has been.”

You knew that. You had always known that. It was a fact, something that had always rang as true as the beating of your own heart. You knew that it was written in the stars for you by some gracious god who decided to reveal what could have been your present and future to you, but you guess the other half of the tale never saw it herself. She knew now, sure. But she learned a little too late for your taste.

“Please, you have to know. You have to know that I didn’t- that I would never do it again.” 

How could you tell someone that their apology wasn’t enough? How could you reject someone when they were at their lowest point? How were you going to find the strength in yourself to turn down the woman that you still very much loved? The one that you thought that you lost to another was right in front of you, begging for a second chance, but was it right for you to give it to her?

But how could she see you at your most vulnerable every day and know that you loved and cared for her with your whole heart and still do what she did? How was she okay with ruining you after all that you had been through? How did she not feel bad for two months about betraying the one person who she knew would be forever in her corner?

Whatever her method was to do things that hurt the people she supposedly loved, she found a way. And so would you.

“Have you said what you needed to?” You asked, your tone slow and deliberate as you fought for your tears not to ruin your words. Just as slowly, she nodded. “Then, please leave.”

A noise left her throat. “Please, wait. Wait.”

“There’s nothing left to say, Nat. We said it all.” You stood up, and she followed. “Fix your relationships at the tower, alright?”

“Don’t,” she muttered, tears streaming down her face. “Please don’t tell me that you don’t want to try and then act like you care about me.”

You both walked to the door, because you knew that I the end she would do what you asked of her. “We were friends first.” You insisted. “We were friends first, Natasha, so I care. So, because we were friends first, I’ll tell you to get better. Work on yourself. Fall in love with someone else. Maybe not with two people at the same time.”

Her face was utterly pitiful. Her eyes were watering in a way you had never seen them do before, and her hands were shaking. You had seen the most of Natasha that anyone had in the entire world, yet you had never seen her so torn apart, so open. She laid it all out for you like you had been doing for her for years, and now you were finally the one to ruin the pretty picture. “Please.” 

As soft as a gentle breeze came your next word. “No.” You yanked your apartment door open, and then you were both shivering. She looked up at you, her face full of an expression of the most shattered you had seen her yet, and the part of you that still ached prayed that it would be the last time you would ever see her at all.

Your body moved on its own. It asked for one more point of contact, just one more before you deprived yourself from the person you loved the most. Your lips pressed against the crown of her head as you told yourself it was for your own good. Your eyes shut as you put your hands on her shoulders, and tears were turning spots of her red hair dark. She was shaking underneath you, crying even harder than you were. You pulled away from her and opened the door wider.

“Wish you all the best, Nat.”

She walked away, off of your porch and into the night. You shut the door.

§§

You figured that you would miss her, but it wasn’t as bad as it was in the early part of leaving. By the time you moved on, it was far past the date of the wedding and even further past your anniversary. Sometimes it still hurt to think about how your life could have been had she chosen to stay faithful, but you learned that the scenarios hurt more than they helped and stopped.

You had a steady job, could keep up with the rent on your apartment, had enough for groceries and even had spare to get your nails done if you wanted to. You were doing it all, and you were doing it well after being attached at the hip to someone else for years and years.

There was a time where you would have thought that living without Natasha would be excruciating. The first night after you stormed out and cried yourself to sleep, you were sure that it would be painful, every night without her next to you would be like a stab in the gut. But after a while, it really wasn’t.

At first, it was. You missed her terribly, and, a part of you still did. You missed the good things that happened, but you realized that the good didn’t erase the bad, and that the bad didn’t erase the good. So, after a long time of thinking about her, your stance on Natasha Romanoff wasn’t hateful, or upset, or vengeful. You barely had one.

You thought about her and saw a book that you had finished reading a long time ago. Impactful at the time you read it, of course, and it could leave a longing imprint, but it was over. You could never relive that exact moment ever again that you read her, not a good one or a bad one. The hardest, most intense part of it was over, so far behind you that you could breathe again. 

And damn, did it feel good to breathe. 

§§§

Seeing her was awkward, and it was something that came straight out of your outdated imagination. You were by yourself buying apples at the market that you always went to because you adored fresh fruit, checking for bruises on them that were never there. You were carrying four in a bag with a content look on your face, just walking around and looking at other fruits and vegetables when you felt someone’s eyes on you. You looked up.

Sam Wilson was looking right at you, his jaw a little slack as he recognized you. You hadn’t seen him since you stormed out of the compound god knows how long ago. Within seconds, your life at the tower and memories with him flashed in your head. You two would cook together side by side often, and that's where you would do most of your bonding and talking with him. Your heart clenched for a moment, and then you raised the hand that wasn’t occupied and gave him a wave and a half smile, one that you hoped told him that you weren’t angry.

You looked back to the vegetables and then at the sign on the table. Damn, that’s kind of expensive. You shrugged your shoulders and put the greens on the weighing machine anyway, and pulled the money out of your purse for it. You smiled at the vendor and left with your new bag, wiggling your eyes at the strawberry table and starting your approach. 

“Hi,” an achingly familiar voice called out while you were steps away from the table of deliciously red strawberries. You could smell them from where you were at. You turned around still, even after easily identifying who the voice belonged to. “How are you?”

She was as beautiful as ever, the top of her head under a blue ball cap and her eyebrows perfectly done. Her eyes were hidden by shades, but you didn’t need to see them to know what she was thinking. Her arms were loose at her sides, but her fingers were moving strangely, and you noticed them immediately as her nervous tick. You took in a deep breath. 

“I’m good, how about you?” You asked Natasha back, and she gave you a pained smile.

“I’m alright.”

“Oh, sweet,” you said, and then gave her a parting smile before turning towards the strawberries.

“Wait,” she called out.

You stopped and turned your head, even though you wanted more than anything to forget that you ran into her. “Yes?”

There was a moment of silence between you two, and then she took a step forward. “Are you still upset?” She asked, voice lower in volume than usual. 

You almost scoffed at her. “I’m an adult, I can’t really be sad for long or I’ll forget to pay a bill or something.”

“Can we talk?” She started, and you held up a hand.

“Let’s not open up old wounds,” you said, already knowing exactly where she was going with all of her hesitance and fiddling with her thumbs.

“I need to apologize for what happened.”

You shrugged. “I forgive you. Actually, I forgave you weeks and weeks ago. It’s okay. We can move on from it.” We need to move on from it. 

You saw your old lover’s face light up in just the slightest, but just as fast as you saw it, it was gone. Her lack of wanting to express to you didn’t hurt anymore. “We?”

“We can move on,” you repeated, “just not together.” Her face dropped at what you said, and you shrugged your shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I fucked up.”

Yes, you did. “It’s in the past now.”

There was a pause, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You wondered when your heart started to beat on its own again and not for the woman standing so close yet so far away. You wondered when you started to do anything for just yourself, and you wondered when you had stopped doing that in the first place. Her voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Is it?”

You almost had to ask her to remind you what the conversation was about. “Oh. It is,” you said gently, but your voice was still stern. “All good things must come to an end, and what we had was good. It was great, and that must have meant that we were destined to end fast.”

She shook her head slightly. “If you- if you forgive me, it doesn’t have to be over.”

“It does.” You looked at your phone and sighed. “I have to leave.”

“Okay,” She said softly after a moment, and finally took a step back. It was a small one, like her body was trying to override her brain. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you, Nat.” You saw her wince, and if you hadn’t made peace with everything, you would have, too.

She took another step back and cleared her throat, just as Sam started making his way over. She nodded at you, and you gave her a small smile, almost encouraging. Just walk away, this is the last time you’ll have to do it. “Later,” She said, her voice a little hoarse as she turned on her heel and walked right past Sam.

“Later” meant never. And you didn’t know if you were supposed to feel nothing or everything about it.

§§§

The last time you saw Natasha Romanoff was a year later, when you were holding hands with a pretty woman from an art show that you went to. She stole your heart with her work, and she turned out just as beautiful on the inside as she was with a brush, and on the outside. Her name was Julie, and she was great. She was honest. 

You really liked Julie. She wasn’t Natasha, though, and it was both refreshing and saddening, because you knew that what you felt with Natasha was a one time thing. You two had one chance to keep the bond that was seemingly inseparable and stronger than steel together, and everyone was rooting for you. And then, it just fell apart.

You knew that Natasha was your first actual love, and the only person who was ever going to be able to love you emotionally like you needed to be. The two of you were, in your mind, made for each other. If soulmates existed, Natasha would have been yours, and you would have been hers. You knew that even five years after not being with her, and while the hole in your heart wasn’t hollow, you had a feeling that a little something was always going to be cold, like a cavity that was never filled. Someone saying her name or asking about her was like chewing ice on it.

But people moved on. Just like you did. And you had moved on from the beautiful yet icy mountains of Natasha and into a soft and whimsical meadow, and that meadow was Julie. 

You were holding hands with Julie, arms swinging as you were leaving the donut shop and talking about silly things that made the both of you grin when you caught a familiar flash of red. Out of instinct, you looked over your shoulder, and what you saw made you freeze.

Natasha Romanoff was with a girl with brown skin and black hair that was glinting in the sunlight, and she wasn’t focused on the way that you and Natasha locked eyes in that moment, the moment that seemed to last years. You didn’t think you were still moving, and it certainly didn’t feel like you were taking a step, but you were. You saw her blue-green eyes blink at you, and like you were still stuck on the same wavelength after all that time, you both raised a hand and gave a timid wave, small smiles gracing the both of your faces.

You saw the girl tug lightly on Natasha’s arm, and your grin stretched. Natasha looked over at the girl, and an immediate smile, one similar but not quite the same as she used to give to you, was on her face. You turned your head forward, a light smile still on your own face as you watched it all happen in a split second.

You both kept walking.

*****

ahahaha wow, that hurt really bad actually - never doing angst again i’m a fluffy type of gal

so i’ve never done a taglist before! so i hope i’m doing it right otherwise this’ll make me look incredibly dumb-

@messuhp @username23345 @fishlikestuff @thelastavenger-3000 @grievingfortheliving @madamevirgo @dontmindmejustreading @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @sourpatchspinster @fayhar @sarcasticallywitty15 @normanijauregui

[thewritewolf]

Night to Remember

Summary: Adrien wakes up to three videos from his soon-to-be wife, one for each day she'd been gone for her bachelorette party.

Hello and welcome! It’s been a hot second since I updated this series last, but I got here eventually! This time we’ve got a one shot on our hands and like usual, this story stands on its own pretty well. I’ll link to the other stories in case this one catches your attention

Enjoy!

Part 1: Five Times (and the Lucky One)

Part 2: Just Between Us

Part 3: Eating Habits

Part 4: Adrien Agreste and the Long Delayed Proposal

Read on Ao3

The soft rays of morning landed gently on Adrien’s face, the warm glow slowly rousing him from sleep. He rolled over, putting an arm over the opposite side of the bed to pull Marinette closer to him. 

When his hand simply hit empty blankets and pillow, his face scrunched up in irritation. He propped himself up on his elbows and squinted, eyes yet to adjust to the light of dawn, at the space beside him. Just as he feared, it was empty.

Sluggishly, the gears in his head began to turn. Why wasn’t she here? Did she go to make breakfast? No, she’d never get up early by herself. 

Was there an akuma? A cold spear of panic went through his heart before he remembered that Hawkmoth - his father - was in prison. It had been years since they’d had an akuma attack, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. 

Now that he was wide awake, Adrien started to remember. He and Marinette were getting married. It wouldn’t be too much longer before the big day finally came, which meant that he’d finally talked her into having her bachelorette party. Her plans were a quiet weekend out in Bordeaux. Just her, a few friends, and some wine in a rural village. He rolled out of bed and started to get dressed.

That had been a theme in most of the wedding planning - Adrien wanting to give her the world, and Marinette going instead for simple elegance. Well, she’d talked him down in most other parts of this wedding, but if there was one part before the honeymoon he intended to spoil her, then the bachelorette party was it. 

Adrien grinned as he remembered slipping Alya his credit card with only one instruction - go all out. How she would pull it off would be a mystery, but if her grin was anything to go by, then Adrien knew he had nothing to worry about.

As he brushed his teeth, he pulled out his phone to check his email. There at the very top of the inbox were three messages, two from his bride to be and one from Alya. Marinette’s were dated Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon, with Alya’s from early this morning. He’d already seen the first two, but decided to watch them again to get the whole experience.

After finishing up in the bathroom, he started the first video.

------------

The video started, although Adrien only knew this because Marinette’s voice came through clear. The screen itself was completely black. 

“Hey, sweetie! We just dropped our luggage off at the hotel and we’re heading to the winery right now!”

“Um, Marinette?” It took Adrien a moment to place Alix’s voice. He’d only seen her a couple times in the past year. “Your thumb is on the camera.”

“Wha- Oh!” The screen lit up, showing Marinette’s radiant smile and slightly flushed cheeks. Her hair had been tied back in a ponytail, with a pair of big, fashionable sunglasses resting just above her face. “Sorry about that, Adrien!” 

Some giggling drew both his and Marinette’s attention to the others in the car. The camera shakily panned over to them. 

“Say hi, girls!”

Alix, caught with one arm wrapped around the head rest, finger gunned at him. “Hi girls.”

“Hello Adrien!” Rose frantically waved and beamed at the camera. “I can’t wait to see you two walk down the aisle! Its going to be so romantic!” She wiggled in place, too full of excitement to stay still.

Finally the camera landed on Alya, who was driving.

“Hey, centerfold. Don’t worry, I’m taking care of M.” She glanced at the camera and winked. “We’ll have to talk to you later since we’re about there.”

The scene shook again as Marinette fumbled the camera. She managed to catch it and soon enough the camera was back on her face again.

“It’s been less than a day, but I’m missing you already!” The screen was engulfed by her lips when she gave it a quick kiss. “Bye!”

-------------------

Adrien smiled to himself and kissed the now black screen. 

Friday night must have gone as Marinette had planned then, but from the looks of it, Alya definitely hadn’t forgotten his request. She was more devious than the rest of them, if only because she was much more patient. First she would lull Marinette into a false sense of security… and only then would she spring the trap. 

Fully dressed and ready to meet the day, Adrien stretched out on the couch and opened the second video. This one was dated Sunday afternoon, the second day of their party. He sipped his coffee and pressed play. 

------------------

“Heyyy, sweetheart,” Marinette began, the words just barely slurred. A faint, constant blush tinted her cheek a pleasant rosy color. It was a little hard to hear her over the song playing on the radio and, more importantly, Alix and Rose loudly singing off key to it behind Marinette. 

Marinette either didn’t notice or was ignoring them, smiling into the camera all the while. “We just left the… winery. They had some great stuff there!” The view turned dark when she held something up a little too close to the camera. “I got a couple bottles to take home too!”

Someone said something, Adrien couldn’t hear what, and Marinette’s head whipped over to the side as she listened carefully. She nodded to herself before turning her attention back to the camera. 

“Alya says hi! Oh, and we’re going a little off the schedule here… We heard about a town nearby. They’ve got a few bars and one has a live band! This is basically just a girls’ night out, so it won’t be too wild… Right?”

The last question was directed more toward the other occupants of the car than Adrien himself. As far as he could tell, she didn’t get an answer. 

Marinette flashed him a sheepish smile and a slight shrug. “Well, anyway. I’ll send you another video when we get back to the hotel. Bye!”

------------------

Which just left the final video. The only one that he hadn’t watched through already. He’d been a little worried when Marinette hadn’t sent her video when she said she would, but he had bitten back that fear as best he could. After all, she always struggled with deadlines and who knew what they ended up doing that night.

Even so it was weird that Alya was the one to end it. What had kept Marinette from sending the video?

Only one way to find out - Adrien opened the message and played the recording.

---------------------

A wall of noise slammed into Adrien, which stunned him for a second before he could figure out what was going on. There was the babble of a drunk crowd that formed the undercurrent for the rock band playing on stage. 

Adrien only had a second to wonder who was recording when he heard Alya’s voice close to the microphone.

“Watch this, blondie.”

It was at that moment that he found her - even between the low light and the jostle of the crowd, he could spot her anywhere. Then again, it wouldn’t be too hard to spot anyone if they were climbing up onto the stage with the band. Adrien watching with shock as she stepped up to the empty mic stand, swayed ever so slightly, and leaned in close. 

“I’m getting MARRIED!”

The crowd went wild, applause and shouting drowning out the music for a moment. 

“To the best man, the greatest partner in the whole world!”

Another round of cheers, combined with some ‘aw’s thrown in. 

One of the band members stepped up and gently took the mic from her. Thankfully, he seemed more amused than angry - Adrien could just barely make out an amused smirk from his perspective. 

“Then this one’s for you-”

“Marinette!” Alya shouted.

“-Marinette, and to your lucky man. Hit it, boys!”

Adrien wasn’t sure what the difference was between this song and the last, especially since he couldn’t hear it too well thanks to Alya being in the middle of a wild crowd, but Marinette definitely seemed to like it since she started dancing on the stage. 

The scene went black for a second before turning back on to Alya’s grinning face. She gave him a thumbs up. 

“Mission accomplished, centerfold!” She leaned in conspiratorially. “Better be careful when M gets home, though!”

She winked and the video ended. 

-------------------------------

In the silence, the sound of the door opening immediately caught his attention. Before he could get up off the couch, Marinette stepped into the room. She glared daggers at him, but he relaxed when he saw the corners of her mouth twitch, as if she was fighting down a smile. 

“So,” he said. “How was your quiet weekend out?”

Marinette sat down on him hard enough to knock some of the wind out of him. She crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Did you know that Alya was the one who hired that band, or were you just bankrolling it?”

“Whaaat? I would never-” He put his hand on his chest in mock outrage. “I mean, what about the budget?!”

“You’re an awful liar, chaton. Three margaritas in and she spilled the beans. I may have been drunk too, but I don’t forget easily.” She tapped her chin and looked up at the ceiling in thought. “Hm... where will I have to pull the money from to balance it out… Maybe the cake?”

“Hey now, our guests have to have cake!”

“You’re right.” She crossed her arms. “The flowers then.”

“You booked Francois a month ago, my love. No way you’re going to be getting the deposit back on that one.”

“Good point.” Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands together. “Oh, I know! I haven’t gone lingerie shopping for the honeymoon yet!”

“...Wait, let’s not be hasty.”

“Well, it can’t be helped.” She sighed melodramatically and pulled out her phone. “I was going to go to this really upscale shop and spend quite a bit but since we blew so much of the budget, I'll just call Alya and cancel but- hey!"

Adrien had snatched her phone and turtled up as best he could. As they wrestled for it, they devolved into a mess of giggles. Somehow, they ended up on the floor, Adrien propped up on his elbows above her.

Marinette crossed her arms, her hair a halo behind her head. She shrugged and rolled her eyes with a smirk.

“I suppose I can let you spoil me just this once.” She tapped his nose. “But don’t get used to it.”

“We’ll see about that,” he replied with a kiss on her forehead. 

[your-eternal-muse]

Kinda Wish She Were Dead

Heather Series Part 8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Bonus! Readers Card Confession Series Playlist 

Summery: During a night out on the town with the girls, Reader see’s something she wasn’t supposed to.

Words: 3.7k (my longest yet!)

Warnings: Swearing, a few sexual innuendos, Cheating, Mentions of Alcohol, and a fabulous right hook.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Heather Carmichael, Spencer Reid x eventual Female!Reader 

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one....turn it up! Also, the song that inspired this chapter. For the meaning of the song, not that fucking boat scene.

~~~~

It’s hot.

Like “laying naked in the middle of your apartment with the air cranked and every fan blowing on you” hot.

I’m one of the lucky ones.

My old apartment was renovated to include central air a few years before I moved in.

Still, the humidity was smothering.

So why was I putting a full face of makeup on, knowing damn well I’m gonna sweat it off before the end of the night?

Because why the hell not?

It’s the first time I’ve made plans with the girls in months, and I deserve to feel pretty, even if only for an hour or two.

My therapist tells me I’m making progress.

And it finally feels like I am.

I don’t hate the day before it even starts when I wake up.

I hardly close my curtains anymore.

I’d like to say that with her help, everything went back to normal.

I go to work and come home. I hang out with my friends, water my potted plants. Talk to Spencer like I never confessed my love for him.

But it didn’t.

I haven’t really spoken to Spencer since the day I left.

I’ve wanted to.

I’ve wanted to tell him that I’m here. I’m still here. That I’m always going to be here.

That I care about him more than probably life itself.

Ever since I came back, we’ve had to work together, and we’ve had a few small conversations, but nothing like what we used to have.

I crave those conversations.

How we would bounce back and forth from idea to idea, topic to topic without so much as breaking a sweat.

The late night conversations about the probability of aliens, and life on the opposite side of the universe.

I crave him, and the intimacy he brought.

Lately though, he’s been coming to work with a sullen look on his face.

He shows up earlier, and stays later, drowning himself in his paperwork.

When her calls interrupt a caseload, he no longer eagerly picks up to hear what she has to say.

All I want to do is walk over and ask him how he’s doing. How the married life is treating him. If there’s anything I can do to help lift his spirits.

But I can’t.

I’d be overstepping a boundary I didn’t even know I created that night out on the balcony.

Knocking on my door snaps me out of my daze, and I quickly cap my lipstick, making my way towards my front door where my night stands, waiting.

JJ, Emily, and Penelope are waiting, big smiles and laughter bubbling from their lips.

I let the smile spread across my face.

“I just need to grab my shoes and then I’ll be ready.” I usher them into my hallway, running back to my bedroom to grab the pair of heels resting by my closet.

I sit on my bed, slipping them on with ease and grabbing my bag on my way out.

They all ooh and ahh when I step into the light of my kitchen, and JJ grabs my hand, twirling me in place so they can get a better look at my outfit.

“I almost forgot you had party attire, y/n.” 

“God, I wish I had an ass like that. I’m older than you. That’s not fair.” Emily says, landing a playful slap against the fabric of my skirt. 

“Oh stop it, you flatter me.” Once upon a time, the attention would have made me antsy. The voice in my head would whisper that they were lying to me, that they really thought I was the ugliest thing in existence. 

That was then, and this is now. Now the confidence shines off of me like a spotlight.

“You deserve to be flattered, you beautiful goddess you.” Penelope says, her hands waving in the air.

I take a look in the new mirror that hangs in my hallway, and I can’t help but agree. The tight black skirt accentuates my curves, the low cut golden crop top that sticks to me like another skin puts the girls on display, and my heels give me legs for days.

I look damn good.

“Okay okay okay, pre-game selfie!” Penelope grabs her phone and holds up in front of her while we gather around. 

She snaps the picture and within a few quick taps, a buzzing emits from my bag. 

I dig my phone out, seeing the picture pop up in my notifications. 

JJ has her arms wrapped around me, and I’m pressed to Penelope's side. Emily stands over us, one hand on JJ’s shoulder, the other on Penelopes. 

I don’t think I could fake a smile like the one on my face even if I wanted to. 

I save it to my phone.

~~~

If I thought being in my house, alone, with air conditioning was bad, then I shouldn't have even bothered coming out.

The bar, albeit small, was packed. 

Even if there was a breeze, or any airflow at all, the combined body heat of the crowd would have swallowed it up.

I couldn’t really bring it in me to care all that much, though.

The dim lights and heat left my skin with a sexy shine, bringing attention to all the right places. 

I could feel the eyes on me. 

The ones belonging to men wanting to drown their sorrows in a woman like me, one who appears vulnerable, willing to go along for the ride.

It’s been a while, since I’ve had the attention of the opposite gender, especially this very specific kind of attention.

It feels good, in a way. To be wanted so openly. But it doesn’t mean jack to me, not if it’s not the pair of eyes I’ve been desperate to catch.

I should stop thinking about him.

It’s a girls night out. I don’t have to think, or worry about anything. 

Besides, he’s probably busy doing other things. Thinking about me is the last thing on his mind.

I laugh and take a sip from the Shirley temple sitting in front of me, laughing as JJ recounts a story about will and a botched attempt at breakfast in bed.

I pick a cherry up from the fizzy drink, and bite the end off, relishing in the sweet flavor. I pop the stem in my mouth, twirling it around my tongue as I listen to the conversation, pulling it between my teeth and setting it down on the table in a knot.

“Oh my god. Did you just tie a cherry stem with your tongue?” Penelope is cheesing from the other side of the table, the bright pink straw of her margarita almost to her lips.

I laugh, holding it up for them to inspect. 

“You know what that means.” Emily says, taking a sip from her own drink, before continuing her thought. “You, my friend, can give great head.”

A blush covers my cheek, but I cock an eyebrow. “Who told you?”

The three women burst into high pitched laughter, and I see Pen pull out her phone. She holds it up to me. 

“Do it again. The internet needs to be blessed with this knowledge.”

I chuckle again, the spirit of the night enough to get me drunk off the energy. I grab another cherry from my drink, sucking the end into my mouth before popping it off, and swallowing it. 

“Alright, we have one, untied cherry stem before us.” I hold out the stem for the camera to see. “Now watch as I tie it with no hands.”  I stick out my tongue, placing it in the middle before closing my mouth. 

I rest my elbows on the table, working my tongue around the stem, forcing it into submission to do exactly what I want. 

Within 15 seconds, I pull it through my teeth, and hold up a tied cherry stem. 

“Ta-da! Magic.” I place it on the table as they clap, smiles wide and goofy from their own alcoholic concoctions. 

“She’s single people. And there’s a line forming so shoot your shot.” JJ is the one to speak to the camera, and I giggle, taking another sip. 

Penelope brings her phone down, and within a minute my phone buzzes again, this time with the notification of the video being posted. 

There are worse things to be posted on the internet about me.

“I never knew you could do that, y/n/n.” Pen says, taking a sip from her drink. 

I run a hand through my hair, shrugging. “Didn’t think I needed to put it on my resume. It’s mostly a party trick I use when I like someone. I haven’t used it in years though.”

The unspoken question lingers on the air. 

“No, I never showed Spencer. But I’m sure it’d blow his mind. The way that man applies math and logic to everything he does just solidifies the fact that I know he wouldn’t be able to do it.”

It’s been a while since I’ve joked about him openly, but it wasn’t forced. It didn’t hurt. 

It was just a natural statement.

“Have you guys noticed that something’s up with him? He seems distant lately.” JJ says, leaning in closer so she doesn’t have to talk over the crowd. 

“Okay, so it’s not just me.” I reply, playing with the straw in my drink.

“It’s gotta be something at home. I mean, he doesn’t even remotely act the way that he did when him and Heather first got together.” Emily's eyes look me up and down, reading my body language, but I’m done hiding. 

I let the building anger ripple through me.

“He seems...sad. And not like, normal Reid sad where it has to do with his mom or something, no this is like..” she stops herself from continuing the sentence.

I finish it for her. “It’s like, me, sad.”

JJ sighs. “I hate to say it, but do you think it has anything to do with Heather?”

A glass shatters across the room, and like the red sea, the crowd parts.

Everything happens in no more than a couple seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. 

Through the empty space, I see two people standing at the bar. The woman has her hands wound into the man's shirt, her body turned as she laughs at someone behind her, I’m assuming the one who dropped the glass. 

The man has his hands gripped on her hips, smiling into her hair, before she turns back around, connecting their lips in the most disgusting kiss I have had the displeasure of witnessing.

The rage builds swiftly in my stomach and it pulses from my soul outward. The world’s tint changes and I see red.

“Even if it doesn’t right now, it will.” 

When the hell did I stand up?

They stand with me, and I’m about to argue my point when Emily speaks. “You want something to record, Garcia?” She moves by me, fixing my hair, handing me her glass which holds a swig of her drink left. “Record this.” 

I take it, downing it for a little liquid luck, and start for the bar, the three of them on my heels.

I profile him as best I can in the 20 seconds it takes to get through the now reforming crowd. 

There’s a gold ring on his hand. His pants and shirt are dirty, and his boots are thick. He works in something having to do with construction, which means he’s probably done around 5 every night, and I know for a fact that it is way past that.

I walk up to them, grabbing her shoulder and pulling them apart, stepping in between them, getting face to face to him.

“Before you even think about laying a hand on me, my name is SSA Y/L/N of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the F.B.I. From the look of your clothes and the ring on your finger, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that your wife is waiting for you at home.” 

His hand instinctively falls to his back pocket.

“And since you just reached for what I’m assuming is your phone, she’s called you multiple times tonight. She knows. Now, fuck off and maybe you can salvage things with her, but believe me when I say this,” His breath smells sour. “You aren’t even half the man that she’s married to.” 

He opens his mouth to say something, looking from me, to Heather, to the three women surrounding her, keeping her from leaving, and the camera pointed directly at his face.

He looks back down to me, and huffs, stepping back and walking in the other direction.

For a moment, I stare at where he stood. 

And then a fire ignites in my stomach and it takes everything in me to not beat the girl standing behind me.

I turn, and lightning strikes behind her eyes. 

“You’re not gonna tell him.”

“Like hell I’m not!” I take a step forward, and she takes one back, bumping into Emily who has her arms crossed, and her shoulders raised. “You know, I tried so hard to give you the benefit of the doubt, Heather. You made him happy and I honestly thought you loved him, but I realize now that he deserves someone so much better than you.” 

“Oh what, someone like you?” She’s snide, her demeanor defensive and cocky at the same time. She thinks she’s gonna come out on top of this.

“You know what? Yes. Someone like me. Someone who wouldn’t even think about doing this to him, because the amount of pain that he is about to go through doesn’t even come close to the stupid fucking reward. Oh, so you slept with some douchebag because what? You’re not getting enough attention?” The words are cathartic, leaving my belly with the venom that has been brewing there for the past 2 and half years.

“I found your letter. I was right about you.”

That would have stopped me in my tracks 6 months ago. Now I don’t even flinch.

“Oh honey, it’s not a fucking secret anymore. You want to hear me say it? I love him. I am in love with Spencer fucking Reid, and the only reason that he is with you, is because I was a decent human being and could see that you made him happy, so I kept my mouth shut. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t give a flying fuck what happens now, because whatever it is, it has to be better than being with a lying, cheating bitch like you.”

“You think he’s gonna run to you? Is that what you’re hoping for? He’s not gonna believe you. And even if he did, I’d turn on the water works and make him believe it was just this one time.”

She doesn’t know she’s being filmed. 

I turn to the bartender. “Excuse me, is she a regular here?”

The bartender smirks, wiping down the wood. “Yep. She comes in at least a couple times a week with that dude you kicked to the curb. They almost always leave together.”

Heather scoffs, crossing her arms. “Again, he’ll never believe you.” 

“You sure about that hot stuff?” Penelope steps forward, shoving the camera in her face. “Smile for the camera.”

Heather's eyes go wide, before turning to me. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“I would do it for a fucking corn chip.” 

I place my hands on my hips, getting so close to her our noses almost touch. My voice is dangerously low when I speak. “Either you tell him everything or I will. And trust me. I have my ways of finding out if you did.”

I step back, wishing the daggers in my eyes could inflict actual pain, as I turn to walk away. 

I hear her shout in frustration before I feel her hands on my back, pushing me forward into the mass of people. 

A couple people unaware of the confrontation help me back up with a smile, thinking I’ve just drunkenly tripped over myself.

Emily and JJ each hold one of my arms, making sure I’m stable, while Penelope keeps filming a look of shock on her face.

A wicked smile forms on my face.

I was hoping she’d do something like that.

I turn and my fist connects with her face, a nice cracking noise satisfying the lust building in my chest, as a thin coat of blood covers my knuckles. 

Though, it’s not my blood. 

She’s holding her nose in pain as she falls to the floor, taking down a bar stool with her, and I swear I see the bartender laugh.

I grab a napkin off the bar, wiping my knuckles before throwing it on the floor by her feet. 

“C’mon girls. The night is still young.” 

I see them cover their own smiles with their hands, and Penelope starts to giggle the shock away. 

I know I should feel bad. It was unprofessional of me. 

But she shoved me first. 

It is, legally, self-defense. 

Is it sick that I wish she would have punched me?

It doesn’t matter anyway. I know she won’t press charges. She’s smart enough to know she just dug her grave.

And now she has to lie in it.

~~~~

The atmosphere is different when I walk into the office the next morning. 

It’s tense. 

And one look from JJ and an inhale of air tells me why. 

Spencer’s here. 

I barely have time to set my bag down on my desk, before he grabs me suddenly by the arm, dragging me into a nearby conference room.

The anger is rolling off of him in waves, and I can see by the way he clenches and unclenches his fists, he is pissed.

He almost throws me into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“You want to tell me why the fuck you punched Heather in the face for no damn reason?”

Stupid, stupid girl. 

Did she not think, that the way I would find out, would be from Spencer himself?

I can’t help but shake my head and laugh. “She didn’t tell you.”

“She told me that she was having a drink with a girlfriend of hers when you came up drunk, yelling at her, until you just punched her. Can you explain that to me?”

He’s finally yelling at me. After months of begging for him to yell at me, he finally is. 

It doesn’t feel as good as I had hoped it would.

I don’t say anything, just pull out my phone to find the video that Garcia sent me.

“Are you serious right now, Y/N? Put your fucking phone down and explain to me why you broke my wife's nose!”

I sit in a chair, setting the phone on the table and sliding it towards him. I lean back and cross my hands over my stomach.

“Watch the video, Spencer.”

“Why? Why should I listen to anything you tell me?”

I lean forward, onto my elbow, annunciating every syllable. “Watch the damn video.”

He stands, and I watch as he fights with himself, before huffing in defeat, sitting in a chair and pulling my phone towards him.

He presses play.

I watch as his anger flows away with each passing second, despair taking its place. 

This is what I wasn’t looking forward to. Seeing him see it for the first time.

Watching him break. 

It wasn’t pretty.

I watch as tears form in his eyes and silently drop down his cheeks. 

He clenches his jaw as he watches her shove me, and the punch that followed. 

The room is dead quite when the video ends.

I’m the one who speaks first, my voice soft. 

“I punched her, because she had the audacity to do this. She had the audacity to hurt you, and flaunt that fact publicly.” 

I swallow, taking a breath before speaking. 

“I meant everything I said in that video, Spence.” 

He looks up at the nickname, his anger no longer directed at me.

“She hurt you, and I saw red. I didn’t think about what I was doing, and frankly, I’m glad I didn’t. I don’t regret standing up for you. I never have, and I never will.”  I clasp my hands together, forcing myself to continue. 

“I love you Spencer. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. I’m going to have to live with you finding other people and falling in love, and I promise you, I will support you in that. But not with her. Not after that. You deserve so much better than a girl who thinks she can get away with this just because she’s pretty and jealous.”

He taps a couple things on my phone, before turning the screen off and sliding it back over to me. 

He stands. 

I don’t. I continue talking as he walks over to me.

“You mean everything to me, Spence. If I know you’re happy, truly happy, then I’m satisfied. I will defend you until the end of the universe comes. You are my best friend, and I love you. And I’m sorry I was never upfront about it before, but I am now.”

I look up at him as he stands in front of me. “I’m done hiding from you.”

He’s still for a moment. 

He reaches down and grabs my hands, pulling me up before he wraps his arms around my waist and buries himself into my neck. 

I pause, but only for a moment, before wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight against me. 

I can feel the wet spots on my neck as he cries, and his hands wind themselves into the fabric of my shirt.

When was the last time he was held like this?

I don’t count the time until he loosens his grip, stepping back from me and wiping his face. 

I would hold him until the end of time if he let me.

“Thank you.” He whispers, before moving towards the door. 

He opens it and walks out, and I grab my phone, running after him.

I stop in the doorway. 

“Hey!” 

He stops and turns, and the rest of the team is watching over their files. 

My heart is pounding, and I feel out of breath.

“I don’t have a choice,” I let him remember. “But I still choose you.”

A small smile flutters across his face, before he turns and walks away.

I look down at my phone.

Spence xp

[Video]

    Sent, 9:06 a.m.

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[silvia7272]

Miraculess Ladybug Salt AU: You Always Liked To Play With Fire ~ The Meeting

I have no idea how long I want this to be, but I doubt it will be too long, so maaaaybe 15 chapters? But I’m super glad that this has gotten more attention than I thought it would have.

Might need to point out that I only said there weren’t any Miraculous here, but heroes still exist, but they all hide their identities (from the public because I think it’s stupid for random civilians to know your identity) if they chose to or they only tell families.

This fanfic and its ideas were all made before season 4 came out, so if something doesn’t add up please don’t worry. That information wasn’t available then, and unless it fits into my story or I like it, I won’t include it in my story. Also, that new Miraculous wiki can get lost, I’m not putting any of that new information in here if they couldn’t even put it in the show.

Word Count: 7661

Tags: @vixen-uchiha​, if you wish to be tagged all you must do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged. I’m very sorry if I’ve missed anyone.

Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Summary:

(Fire doesn't exactly have anything to do with this story I just really liked the title)

Note: This book contains OOC scenes of Miraculous Ladybug as well as a ton of salt, so if you don't like that stuff you may scroll past and have a nice day.

In a world with no Miraculous, no Hawkmoth and no Ladybug, how does our little heroine do?

Well, it usually would be hanging out with her friends, as any other teenager would do...

But, of course, this wasn't normal.

This was reality. It was cold, hard, and definitely not welcome.

So, when this girl wishes to have some kind of adventure in her boring, mundane life...

How long does it take for her to regret it?

Trigger Warning (If you believe there is absolutely anything in my works that can be classed as triggering please tell me and I will include it after the summery. All off my works are made with a keep reading so you should be able to see if there's anything in the warning before hand.)

Mentions of guns, poison and stitching flesh.

***

Beep… Beep…

Alarms were annoying. Why had someone decided to invent a device that makes you feel guilty for sleeping in? Why not just be a gentle reminder in the form of a lullaby? Or a small caress of a hand brushing some hair, as you simply start to close your eyes, drifting of-

“Marinette you’ll be late for school again!”

She groaned.

So that was why.

Getting dressed she sighed knowing what the day would hold. Glares, being alone, eat, hopefully become nothing but invisible and make sure to go unnoticed before rushing back home.

For the past three years, this is what would happen to her. This same boring, frighteningly normal routine.

And she hated it.

Not just for being alone, or all of the sadness she felt grow each day to a meter she wasn’t sure what level she was on now but whatever. It wasn’t going down any time soon.

No, what she hated the most…

Was the boredom.

Yes, her creativity streak could not be higher, she had been going through her sketchbooks so much she had to work longer hours at her bakery to afford them all, but her love for fashion just wasn’t the same, she didn’t feel any joy producing her work anymore. There wasn’t anyone new to show it with.

She was just alone in her room, mountains of book piles covering every surface.

But she was bored in general. She wouldn’t be able to place the feeling, or even be able to describe what it was. But for whatever reason, she craved for adventure, I mean sure she was safe here, and she didn’t want to worry her Parents with this silly idea of hers. But she just wanted a tiny little taste of some venture.

So why couldn’t she?

“Did you hear?” Marinette heard the whispers, walking up to her classroom door she could hear what they were talking about, over the years she had become silent, become part of the crowd, it was so much easier to eavesdrop, although it was a bad habit of hers, she couldn’t help it.

For example, she heard about Adrien’s relationships.

Now don’t start getting worried, she was 100% over the boy. She would under no circumstances ever fall for someone like him, or even make such a god-like illusion of someone ever again.

But she heard how, the first day Lila came, and their kiss they shared. He really had meant to pull away.

Because he was starting to see Kagami.

But, his feelings became conflicted.

And he didn’t want to hurt Kagami, so he simply never told her.

But then he never told Lila to stop with all of her advances, and Alya had tried numerous times to set them up.

Again, Adrien never said for them to stop, instead went along with it. He never told them he was with Kagami, and Marinette couldn’t help but feel so sorry for the girl.

She learnt from hearing Adrien’s conversation he was her first friend, and she wanted to keep hold of that fact.

Just like her.

Except, the bluenette was able to escape that motion before she was sucked in too far.

She would’ve warned Kagami, don’t get her wrong. But Marinette wouldn’t lie. She was intimidated by the girl.

Every time she saw her, she would glare all the time. It just reminded her of everyone else, and she couldn’t go through with it.

Pathetic she thought bitterly.

But still. If she had confessed to Adrien, and then Lila came. Would he have told her about that kiss?

.

Well, er- Besides that, she had a knack for hearing other things too, for example, footsteps, she was able to tell who’s were who’s just by the sound. Some were light like Rose’s and Juleka’s. Some were heavy like Ivan’s and Mr Damocles. Some were sneaky like Chloé’s and Lila’s.

And she had to learn to avoid interactions with anyone she knew would make a fuss.

It became easy after a while.

Opening the door, she quickly scanned the class, they were all there, usual spots an all.

Around Lila’s desk.

Oh well.

It would be less likely they would notice her.

She was, fortunately, able to get to her seat without any interruptions.

“A hero is coming to Paris, to help all of the Parisians out. Isn’t that amazing?”

“Really, that’s so cool. I wonder what they’ll be like?”

“Oh, I sure hope he’s strong. Hey, do you think it’ll be Eostrix Or Sparrow?”

“And why exactly do you think it’ll be Eostrix? What about Medusa. Or-” Alya gasps, excitement seeping out of her.

“What if it’s Nebula?!”

“Nu-uh, it’s definitely Eostrix”

“No way Nebula all the way”

“Eostrix”

“Nebula”

“Eostrix!”

“Nebula!”

“EOSTRIX!”

“NEBULA!”

“BATMAN!!” The once quiet Rose belted out, before covering her hands in astonishment.

“Sorry I wanted to join in.” She gave a sheepish smile as Juleka pattered her head.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief, they would always get loud but today must’ve been special.

She looked out the window. A superhero Ey? Coming to Paris? How exciting. She knew she would never get the chance to meet them in person, what with her not so chaotic schedule. But she would love nothing more than to thank them for all they had done, for even volunteering to come here and help.

If she was brave enough, she would love to bake something for them, as a token of appreciation for their work. Maybe even make an outfit inspired by them-

Wait- that wouldn’t be considered creepy, right?

She tried to work on that, with her attachment issues. But she was trying, with no friends at least, she wasn’t sure if it had worked. No one could see her progress without any other remarks.

“You shouldn’t work yourself up so much, besides there’s going to be an announcement in 2 hours, we’ll just see it at break.” Alix laid back in her seat, Marinette couldn’t tell if she had finally realised the truth but was just drowning it out or just grew bored.

But she hadn’t made any type of engagement with her.

Oh well, I guess she was done with hoping.

But it wouldn’t matter, Mlle Bustier came in clapping her hands to gain the classes attention.

“Now now, please return to your seats, I have a very special announcement to say” Please don’t let it be another pop quiz. It was bad enough when someone would glance her way in general. Not when her test score would be one of the highest.

“As you know, this small, lovely class has been so pleasant these past few years. Our own tight little nest, and I couldn’t be prouder of… All of you” Marinette saw the little glance she made, whatever she thought. It was all lies anyway.

“But, we will have to make another new addition to this class” A laugh was heard.

“Well, I for one hope they’ll be better than the last bunch… Except for you Adrikins” The others glared at her as Adrien looked away, not wanting to get involved.

If there was one thing Marinette could commend Chloé for, it was the fact she saw through Lila’s lies with ease. Having Sabrina by her side did make it easier, but she saw through none the less.

She didn’t care that everyone else believed her little tales, Chloé thought it was funny, and loved the idea of their reactions when they would inevitably freak out and cry.

She just had to be patient.

Plus, there was no way she would feel pity for Marinette. In this world, its use or be used. And like hell she’ll be used. She just had to see for herself.

“Chloé please, that’s no way to make a first impression. Ahem, excuse me, you may come in now!”

“Ok~,” A singsong voice said.

If Marinette had been paying attention, she would’ve noticed the newcomer walk in. She wore a long-sleeved unbuttoned cardigan with a t-shirt underneath and a knee-high length skirt. A scarf was tied around her neck, matching her attire and small petite shoes.

She would’ve noticed the pretty little bows in her hair. The pigtailed braids, all going down to her waist, showing off how long it still was even tied up. Little earrings so small worn, a detail many wouldn’t have noticed.

She would’ve noticed the little introduction she did to the whole class, and how it seems she brightened up the whole room. Or the smile she sent their way, not for one but for all. And how a blond boy blushed from it.

But more importantly, she would’ve noticed, or at least heard her name being called out multiple times.

“Marinette, please pay attention for once, I swear your behaviour has gotten worse” She wanted to shrink, now she made a fool out of herself in front of the new girl.

“I’m very sorry about that, that was very rude of her, I do hope you’ll forgive the situation, the only available seat is at the back” Great, now she will hate her.

“That’s alright, I love sitting at the back, that way, I can see everyone and know they’re ok” Hearts stopped, and smiles grew, she really was just a sweet little child.

The bluenette, however, was dreading it. Now there would be another to hate her. And she seemed so innocent. It was only a matter of time before she would be corrupted as well.

Oh, the horror, she really didn’t deserve it, but Lila would have her way, she always di-

“You’re Marinette, right?” She jumped, forgetting she had just been in her own little world again, staring off into space. She really needed to stop that.

“Err y-yeah, and you are?” She cursed herself for not paying attention, now she may just think she was an ignorant stupid-

“My name is Rosaniline Keyne-Hill, but everyone calls me Rosann, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mari” She giggled as Marinette stared back.

Mari? No one had called her that before. But she liked it.

“Yeah, same”

And it felt like something else.

Maybe… Hope?

…

She shouldn’t be so optimistic.

***

Trying to eat in peace was a nightmare. There weren’t many places where she could go to without being in trouble. The library prohibited any foods due to not wanting any books to be damaged, you weren’t allowed to eat in a classroom without a teacher present, and considering all of the teachers chose to eat in the staff room she wouldn’t be able to sneak into any room. The art club, again didn’t want to damage any works, not after Chloé “accidentally” spilt her drink all over Nathaniel’s sketchbook four years ago. He refused to go to school for a week. And the roof was out of the question, too unsafe and a risk if anything were to happen.

But Marinette, since it’s lunch, couldn’t you go eat at home? Why yes, she could, at least two times a week she would just go back and stay at home to eat, but she felt as if she couldn’t always retreat home just for convenience, besides, Mlle Bustier would sometimes tell her to eat in the cafeteria with the others instead of hiding herself away. If she tried going to her Parents when told to stay, she’d be given warnings that soon turned to detentions.

Even if at times she wished to just sneak away, she couldn’t, she didn’t want her Parents to be called in and get wind of any other situations.

Marinette sighed as she played with her food, boredom crept on her face before she tuned into that hero announcement appearing on Face To Face.

Despite everyone trying to shove it down the school’s throat, she was ever so slightly curious about it. She may not have been able to voice her opinions to anyone in particular but she just wants to see who this mystery hero was.

Her pink earbuds at the ready and plugged in, she waited until Nadja Chamack’s report would come in, eerily, the whole cafeteria was quiet, the suspense was enough to put anyone silent.

Then, the logo came on, the sound resonated throughout the room since it was on the TV but Marinette stuck to her phone, she didn’t want anyone catching her watching it.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news. Now a new rumour has been circulating throughout Paris about a new superhero appearing to protect the civilians. I’m sure you’re all dying to know just how true it is. Well, I can assure you that only the best reporter in Paris would only speak of the truth, considering I have the key to answer all your questions.” Lights appeared behind her, all moving in different directions before centring on a doorway in the centre of the stage.

“I’m confident you’re very excited to find out who our mysterious hero is, so without further ado, let’s see who it is.” People began to hold their breaths, the excitement of who this bigshot would be, Nebula, Eostrix, or someone even bigger, they didn’t know, but you could hear a pin drop in that cafeteria with how silent it was.

From behind the curtain, there were ruffles, smoke emerged to give off a more dramatic flair as the crowds became excited.

.

.

*A turquoise and light emerald outfit came into view. Baggy clothing on her arms and legs appeared along with white high boots. Her main outfit seemed to reside a sweetheart neckline dress with a mini skirt, although Marinette noticed it gave the girl some mobility to move around instead of being restricting. She also noticed the slight cold colours centring around her skirt, since she always had a keen eye on different types of design patterns. Light blue overlayers obscured most of the skirts view with golden rims on the bottom.

She had a light blue neck jewel, although she couldn’t see much off it, she’d have to admit. Her mask was a gradient of turquoise to match her dress, her hair was tied up in two twin buns, two red hairpins also there she noticed, but the rest left down, Marinette had to wonder how long it would’ve been all down.

There were a lot of things Marinette noticed, however, one thing everyone could agree on…

Was that they had no idea who she was.

“Salutations everyone, why it’s a pleasure to be here.” Marinette had to admit, she looked… Kinda young to be a superhero. And maybe, just maybe, not what she’d envisioned when she’d heard about a hero coming to Paris. Why, she was making an assumption, and she should really know better than to do that since, y’know, but you couldn’t blame her right?

“WHAT? WHO THE HELL IS THAT?” She heard over the other side of the dining room. Of course, it was Alya, she never could control her voice volume. But she couldn’t tell if the ombre girl was upset over it not being Nebula or supposedly getting hyped up for a hero none of them had ever heard off.

Looking back at the screen, she could tell the news reporters seemed a bit taken back as well, Nadja never was good at concealing her emotions, even on air, maybe they had been promised someone else instead?

“O-Oh, I see. Well, I-’ Her recovery was the same, Nadja always fretted she had to rely on the people up in management to give her a line if she couldn’t think off one herself, she wasn’t very good at improv either.

The heroine smiled before walking down to sit beside Nadja.

“I understand the scepticism, my appearance deters most, but that is just a ploy, however, I’m here to make a promise to all off Paris. My name is Soliane Rin and I’m here to risk my life for everyone in Paris, with or without my mask on. All I ask is to be given a chance.” She bowed to the camera, to all off Paris, and Marinette was able to see her smile, her truthful words as the whole dining room stayed silent at her speech.

Marinette seemed to feel…

Hope?

“Ah- no it wasn’t that, it’s just we were given information you were appointed by both Eostrix and Nebula? How? I mean, how did you meet them, or more importantly how did you get to have this opportunity?” She smiled as Nadja had time to recover from her obvious disappointment.

“Oh that, well I had worked with them on a few cases in New York. I had trained for a few years to be just like that until I was finally able to convince them to train me fully. And well I guess they believed I was ready to protect this jurisdiction by myself over time.” Nadja nodded along, seemingly more at ease as the time passed by, more questions being asked and answered before everyone had noticed how much time had passed.

A beep emitted from the girl’s necklace, in turn making her stand up and bowing or at least curtsying once more.

“I’m sorry for the early interruption, but I must be going now, I have some business to attend too” She threw a peace sign as a puff of smoke surrounded her. When it had passed so had she disappeared. As the crew tried to cover from most of their unscripted events. Nadja headed to commercials.

The long-awaited announcement was over, what would the audience’s reactions be like?

“Really? We get a new hero like her? I’ve never even heard of Soliane Rin. Ugh, we might as well have gotten someone like Doorman” Kim flung his arms up into the air before sitting back into his chair.

Not good apparently.

“I know right, and to think I was excited for this” Alya dramatically fell back into her seat. And she was so looking forward to this news as well.

Marinette would admit to feeling more guilt, she may have… Possibly thought the same, but even still, we’re judging a book by its cover, surely, they all should’ve waited until maybe after she had proved herself.

Wait- making her have to prove herself was too judgemental still, she didn’t mean for it to sound that bad, she just- she was just wrestling with the thoughts in her mind.

Not noticing the annoyed looks from the class, the tiniest blush from a blond, or the tiny smirk residing from a brunette.

With a plan in action, she set to work ravelling a new story that was sure to captivate her ‘friends’. With a tremble of the lip and bowing her head, she waited until at least one person would notice her sudden change of expression.

Luckily, her plan went just as she thought.

“Lila? Are you ok, what’s wrong?” Rose, a sweet and naïve girl mind you, immediately took the bait.

And with that, the others finally took notice of her, a new record she thought, after so long she was used to this routine.

She knew how to work them.

“Oh- it’s nothing important, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to spoil the mood.”

Hook

“Hey c’mon girl, you can tell us. What’s on your mind?” Alya pats her shoulder to comfort the smaller girl.

Line

“Are you sure?” Lila asked again timidly, the other girl nodded, in fact, everyone did, and gave encouraging words to her, they couldn’t see the smirk inside her mind.

And sinker.

She fiddled with a piece off her skirt, a habit she formed when noticing they were always a lot more concerned when she fidgeted, it was a clever trick really. Being able to get anyone wrapped around her finger was a power she loved.

“Well, I just think it’s a bit sad really.”

“What was?” Someone asked, at times she didn’t really care who it was that responded, she just knew what the next response would be, she could always make them say what she wanted without them ever knowing…

Oh, she loved this life.

“It was meant to be a surprise.” She rambled on, waiting for someone to stop her, they had to.

“Lila, what are you talking about?” See, she knew how to play this game a thousand times over.

“Well… I wasn’t really meant to tell anyone. But since all of you are my friends, and I know I could trust you with this, so I guess it's fine to say.”

Everyone around the table leaned in, intrigued by what she had to say. Lila took a deep breath in, bracing herself for the aftereffect of her words she knew would come.

“I knew it would happen, that no one would like her, but I had hoped and prayed that you all would, I guess I should’ve asked for someone higher up” It took a few seconds for those words to tick in the aspiring journalists head, but when they were finally processed, she nearly erupted. It was better to make them think of what she said instead of just outright saying it, decent off her to help their brains.

“Wait- you- you were the one to suggest a hero to come to Paris!? OMG girl that is fantastic” Lila gave a small smile as everyone then shouted the usual praise at her, she nodded along before turning her head down.

“But- you all weren’t happy” They all felt guilty at that, maybe that was why Lila had been quiet the entire time while the news was on. She must’ve been checking for their expressions and yet they hurt her feelings instead.

“Sorry- we must’ve just presumed it was gonna be Eostrix or Nebula, that morning probably messed with our responses” Alya laughed as she draped an arm around Lila.

But the ‘lie’ wouldn’t end there.

“I see, I just thought she would’ve wanted more recognition while being here” Out of nowhere she started crying more, everyone tried to comfort her, but it was no use.

“She’s just such a nice person, and so kind. When I last met her, she was still in training and I promised I would promote her as much as I could” She sniffed as Rose handed her a tissue which she greedily took a hold of.

Before they could exclaim their surprise she immediately jumped right back into her story.

“I knew I should’ve tried harder; I should’ve gotten Nebula or Eostrix. I’m sorry I ruined everyone’s day. I- I should’ve left my big mouth shut. I’m sorry guys” Their guilt immediately intensified.

Lila had done all of that for them, and they had quite easily tossed it aside without realising, how could they? And to one-off their best friends? Despicable, absolutely despicable.

Wait, why did that sound vaguely familiar?

Oh well, Lila was more important.

“Lila no” Alya cooed in a soft voice, feeling mostly responsible, hyping everyone else up and being one of the first ones to dismiss the new hero entirely. She tries to comfort Lila was the least she could do.

“It’s not your fault Lila” Her plan came together.

“Of course, not. We shouldn’t have judged her so quickly” Just like all the others.

“We’re sorry, so sorry Lila.” And she knew how to do it so efficiently.

“We shouldn’t have judged so quickly” Lila’s smirk in her mind grew in size, they were so wrapped around her finger.

As Alya was happily explaining that she would be in fact honoured to create a blog about this new hero- she had forgotten her name, and would quite happily like to interview Lila as well to be able to learn anything else about the hero, a lone figure grew upset.

Lila had just created another lie, she was used to that, but for it to be about the new hero, couldn’t Lila tell just how dangerous that could be? I mean sure, it would be great to actually be able to meet a hero, let alone be friends with one. But to publicly announce that? Was she crazy? Did she want a massive target on her back?

She could only hope no one would buy into that blog, as mean as it was, but she didn’t want them to get physically hurt.

She could only hope that the new hero wouldn’t care about fake news or blatant lies.

She truly could only hope.

.

As shoes tapped against the floor along the dining room, a new figure turned her head.

She had been walking around her new school, looking around for entrances, exits and just in general any hidden secrets. She had previously asked for a school plan from a teacher, but had been informed that her students would be more than happy to help her instead, and she needn’t need some piece of paper. But that didn’t suit her, so when she wasn’t looking, she may have just acquired one anyway. She was quiet so she wouldn’t have been caught.

Now she was walking through the dining hall, she had wanted to take in the cafeteria, just in case there were any rooms she had missed, until she heard footsteps approaching her.

“Hey Rosaniline, come join us, we haven’t seen you all lunch.” She knew she’d have to concede, having analysed each person in her class, she knew, Alya, would not take no as an answer.

So, she flashed her innocent smile and nodded along, it may prove useful to study them further.

Her arm was grabbed before they walked over to a table full of people, so different from the other tables.

“So, newbie where were you? You totally missed the special hero announcement.” Alix asked her, the others looked over to see her answer, if Rosaniline hadn’t been used to having a crowd around her she believed she would’ve been nervous as hell.

“I had taken the liberty off looking around the school, I’m afraid I can get pretty lost in large places, I only wished to remember the layout beforehand.” She placed her hands together with a bright smile appearing. It was half a lie; she couldn’t exactly state her true reason, now could she?

The ombre haired girl pulled a large smile onto her face. She was just like Adrien, new, polite and a literal ball of sunshine, she thought before sneakily looking over at the blond-haired person who hadn’t said much, most probably due to his shy nature due to his upbringing.

She latched onto Adrien’s arm before practically flinging him towards Rosaniline.

She literally took falling for someone to a whole new level.

“Well looks like the two of you would get along swimmingly” Her new ship was bound to sail, she could see it now, their immediate attraction for each other, the dates and interactions they’ll have before proclaiming their love in the rain, a sentimental scene in which she’ll be gladly recording while hiding behind a tree.

I mean who wouldn’t just map out her new friends love life in a matter of minutes of knowing each other?

But… It may just become a crash course instead. They rubbed their heads simultaneously due to bumping into each other. However, one was ever so slightly overjoyed with being in such close proximity to her while the other would think that prank wasn’t funny in the least.

Before any of the duo could express their annoyance/apologise and maybe a get together sometime, someone of course just had to interrupt the moment.

“Oh, Rosaniline we need to apologise to you” Rosann had expected the apology to come from Alya but it appeared that girl didn’t know that she had done something wrong.

“We’re so sorry that you have to sit next to her” That caught Rosann’s attention, what did they mean by that? They must’ve noticed her confused face as the explained further.

“Oh, you poor thing, you really don’t know do you?” Well, no. That is what she wanted to say, she was new, of course she wouldn’t know, hell she hadn’t even been able to see the whole layout as she had planned to. She was sure there was a hidden basement somewhere, she just needed to locate it.

“That girl, the one you have to sit next to in class. The one with dark blue hair?” They all tried to provide as many details as they could without trying to make it too obvious, but Rosann was able to make out who exactly they were talking about.

She took a sneaky glance towards the person the group had started to talk about. She heard a few words of bullying, mean, lies and stalker before zoning it out, she needed to concentrate.

The girl, in a pink jacket and a grey skirt. Sitting alone on a table that seemed to be mocking her by how big it was. All of the tables were big, possibly to do with teachers wanting students to sit with their friends.

But she wasn’t with anyone, she just absentmindedly played with her food as nothing interesting happened.

Rosann stared, that girl, she hadn’t seen her smile once, or even display any kind of positive emotion. She was just lonely; couldn’t they see that?

That girl needed to be saved!

***

Midnight.

Or at least close to that time she thought.

She didn’t know, she had spent many a night out on her balcony just sketching in her book. One would think it would’ve been too cold but the bluenette didn’t mind, she had been used to it, the wind wasn’t particularly chilly out here, even if it was late September. This was part of her routine anyway. Staying up late was just something she was used to, her sleeping schedule was the worse. But she produced so many fantastic ideas when she was awake at night, it was a sacrifice she was willing to take.

With her earbuds plugged in, she was jolted out of her streak when she heard a different notification pop up, pulling out her phone she looked at what could’ve possibly caused it.

[BREAKING NEWS: New Hero Prevents Bank Robbery On First Day.]

Marinette smiled at that. Her first achievement, in Paris of course, she knew she had done a lot before, she had checked a few articles before, although she did have to rely on google translate on a few instances, but this hadn’t been the only thing she had prevented. There had been house fires to museum robberies to even outright terrorist attacks, and yet she was able to stop them all, she did have some help but from what Marinette could make out the other heroes got there after taking most of the civilians out of the buildings, and from what she could tell, she could’ve easily handled everything herself.

She could see Soliane didn’t need to prove herself to others if she was just given a chance for everyone to see what she could do.

To not be judged based on baseless accusations tossed her way. For people to look through and see the truth!

.

.

She didn’t know who that had been aimed at, but she knew she just wanted to get back to her sketching.

But… She couldn’t.

Not now.

Not when she heard a noise behind where she had been sitting!

She quickly dropped her belongings as she jumped up from her chair.

-

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but she knew she had heard something, it wasn’t just her hearing she knows that.

She knew something had happened; something was there. When she stayed put, trying to concentrate more- she heard slight breathing, slow and- hurting!?

She didn’t know who it was, she didn’t know their intentions or they alliance, but, if something was hurt, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t check it out.

So, she quietly approached the wall, having to stand on the bricks on the side of the wall since she wasn’t tall enough before pushing herself up.

!!!

‘That’s-!’

Even in the night she could see a prominent colour.

Turquoise!

“It- no it can’t be! Soliane Rin!” She whispered more to herself, but even still she couldn’t comprehend how this could have happened.

Noises of pain interrupt her train of thought. She- she was hurt!

Her mind had taken action, and immediately propelled her forward, she couldn’t leave someone out here in the middle of the night hurting, even if she was a hero, she was still human!

She ran towards her, instantly trying to ask if she was ok? Where was she hurt and if she can respond?

But nothing came, no answer, nada. She had to check if she was alright.

She came closer, forgetting about maybe not accidentally startling the young hero.

Her hand was caught midway to the hero, she gasped, her reflexes were still there. Her head was nonetheless limp and her left hand resting on her abdomen.

“W- who ar-” She grunted in pain again. Marinette shot forward to grab her before she could fall back.

“Hey, m-my name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you’re on my roof right now. Please let me help you” Through her strength, she opened one eye to look at her. And through her eyes, she could only see one thing.

Sincerity.

“Right- leg… anti” Her breathing grew slower, as if she were falling unconscious, Marinette had no idea if it would’ve been eternal.

But Marinette was able to determine what she had meant. Looking her over, she looked at her leg, her baggy clothes were slightly torn but that didn’t matter now, slipping her hand inside, she hoped Soliane wouldn’t mind her hand being cold, she tried searching for it, for her antidote.

Her fingertips tried reaching out until she felt smooth glass. Wrapping her fingers around and pulling it out she pulled it up for further inspection.

The writing around the glass wasn’t in French unlucky for her, however, there were pictures, she had to quickly conclude this would’ve been used for situations just like this.

The picture appeared to show that it should be drunken not spread on the wound, so she quickly unscrewed the cap. Looking back at the hero she could tell she had indeed turned paler, she wasn’t faring so well, she knew she needed to do it quick.

Tilting her head back so she could pour it down her throat, she could only pray that she wasn’t too late.

.

.

One minute.

.

.

Two minutes!

Why wasn’t anything happening!?

Marinette had to take a deep breath, maybe it would need some time to take an effect.

In the meantime, maybe she could look her over to see if there were any other injuries. And then maybe go downstairs to collect some supplies. Living as a baker meant she knew her way around burns, scars and scratches, so they were always prepared with a medical box in the kitchen.

Looking at her over appeared to be the right choice in action. Her lower abdomen had been hit, Marinette reasoned with herself that must have been why she had yet taken her handoff.

But as Marinette covered her own mouth with her hand, she was a gasped at how much blood there was.

Now what? She couldn’t tell her Parents, she loved them, she really did, but she knew how loud her Dad would get whenever he got happy, angry, or frightened, she knew it wouldn’t be a smart choice, especially with how jumpy the hero was. Not like she couldn’t blame her.

Then that would mean calling an ambulance might be out of the equation as well, plus the Soliane Rin may not want the publicity of her going to the hospital after only one day of patrolling. She knew if she had gotten cold feet or even hurt like this on her first day heroing they’d be a high chance of her giving up.

Well… She was a seamstress.

She had been doing it for a very long time, so she knew the ins and outs of sewing.

But still… It could be extremely risky, and she’d need to get consent first… But if she didn’t wake up… And she knew how open wounds could be, how dangerous it could be if they didn’t get any treatment, and how much trouble she’d be in if she accidentally killed the hero when trying to help her.

.

Well…

She had dreamed of some adventure in her life…

And she got her wish.

***

Stitch… Stitch…

Flick-

“Ahh!-”

“So-sorry”

Her prayers off Soliane Rin waking up were answered, after she had collected a few blankets, medical supplies, and a needle & thread, she had come back up.

Only to find Soliane on her balcony, if it wasn’t for her shock, she knew she would’ve screamed out zombie.

How she had the strength to get there she would never know, but she had to guess, heroes have all sorts of endurance.

She quickly sped to catch her. She did reprehend her of course; it was in her caring nature, so she just had to.

But… The way she weakly smiled at her, she couldn’t help feeling guilty, she probably was in so much pain and here she was berating her for- for what exactly.

This was why they had all left her. She was too quick to jump the gun, to jump to conclusions, too fast to even see from anyone else’s perspective.

Which is why she was a perfect target.

She lowered her onto her bed, careful not to hurt her anymore. Setting her down so she would’ve been comfortable, lots of pillows to help as well, she was glad she brought so many in her childhood. Or whenever her Nonna would come, she’d always get a new toy from her travels.

And that was when she set to work, conversing with her about what she may have to do, and as hesitant as Soliane was, she also knew there was no choice.

“Fine, I’ll trust you Marinette” Those words felt like a gift, in any other situation she would have been jumping for joy, getting acknowledged by a hero? That was amazing.

But- she really couldn’t celebrate, the look in Soliane Rin’s eyes, the were… Fearful. She knew she wasn’t trusted, yet. But she would prove it.

Snip, snip.

The room was silent, no words had been muttered or mentioned, Marinette was concentrating on her stitching, just hoping she wouldn’t hurt her anymore. She must have regretted her decision now, of course, she had, anyone with the right of mind would’ve. No wait- she didn’t mean it like that! She just meant-

“It’s not your fault. I- shouldn’t have let my guard down” It became silent again, and this time Marinette had a lot more to think about. There had been one thing that was stuck on her mind and couldn’t leave her mind.

“H-How did it happen?” She saw Soliane grab a nearby pillow even tighter than she had.

She knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut! It wasn’t her place to ask anyway.

Before she could utter any type of apology, she was stopped when she heard her start to speak.

“It was right after one-off my patrol routes. I was surveying the city, just in case, I needed to report anything else. I guess- due to this being my first time alone, as well as having previously prevented some other crimes, I would have to say I wasn’t in the same mindset.” Marinette stayed quiet so she could continue without pressure, she knew from personal experience how frustrating it could be to start talking and get interrupted by someone else, it was always a pet peeve of hers, making her not wanting to finish her story out of pettiness.

“So… When I was too busy with moving around on my wire. I was shot!” Marinette jolted away, she knew something drastic had to have happened, and she had tried to brace herself. But she couldn’t, it sounded so surreal.

“I was careless, it was such a stupid mistake, no novice would’ve been hurt like me” Marinette jumped again, she was so serious, and so… Angry with herself. But, she had just saved a bank from robbers, of course, she could’ve been tired, she was human after all.

“And due to my shock, I wasn’t able to pinpoint who it had been. A poisoned bullet had just barely scared me, and I was still affected by it… Sir would be so disappointed in me.”

The last stitch had been completed. She was done, now she just had to bandage it. She noticed Soliane seemed physically more relaxed.

“I should be going now, I’ve troubled you too much” She was trying to get up, but even the bluenette knew she would still be in pain for a while, just until she would get herself checked out, probably as her civilian self.

“No, you’re still hurt. If you move too early the stitches might come undone” She laid a gentle hand on her, just enough to draw attention to herself.

“But I must, I need to report back, besides, don’t you need to go to sleep?” Yeah but- the words paused in her throat, why could she say anything?

“You’ve already helped me so much, surely you’d prefer me to leave, it would be unbefitting for a hero to be seen so helpless for so long?” She saw it, her face, it was just like her a complete replica, always so helpful, to never think about yourself even when it could be life or death.

…Ok maybe that last part was a bit extreme.

“Hey, don’t try to suggest that, I could never think that! You still need help, just because you’re a hero doesn’t mean you can’t rely on anyone else.”

…Maybe it was her stubborn side, or even her Mother’s. But she couldn’t even think of the hero going out in that condition.

Grabbing her hand, she was adamant about letting Soliane Rin stay. So, she just told her.

Told her that she can’t just go out in that condition.

Told her that she needed to get better, because if she was still hurt, how could she save other people. And how she also needs to look after herself.

Told her that… She shouldn’t have so many expectations of her, because it won’t do her any good, mentality wise… And if the expectations become broken, she’d be unrightfully angry at herself.

Told her that- oh god she was arguing with a hero in her bedroom and she wasn’t saying anything.

She wasn’t saying anything! She’s just standing there looking at her. Never had Marinette wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out?

“I-I’m sorry, I should have never shouted like that, you were just doing your job and here I come saying you need to stop- wait not to stop I meant maybe slow down, although if you wanted to carry on then that’s fine by me. What am I saying you don’t need my permission; you don’t need anyone's! Do you-?” Her hands had been waving in front of her frantically. She just couldn’t imagine all of this would’ve been happening to her, her emotions were spreading out of control. She really needed to compose herself.

-

Wait, why did she grab her hand?

“I -ahem- it's fine, I’m incredibly humbled by your generosity. You have a big heart, not many have such kindness like you” She brought her hand closer to her mouth, and the blue-haired girls’ heart was pounding more and more.

“I shall stay” She pressed the hand to her mouth, a small feeling off lips against her skin sent shivers down her back while she held her gaze.

“So long as mi Belle stays with me” It took her a moment to compose herself. It took another to realise to she was talking about her… It to yet another to compose herself from that.

“Sou yure- I mean you show- ah, I’m mean. Yes.” Marinette felt as if she couldn’t say no, and yet, she didn’t feel uncomfortable, she felt accommodated. She believed if she had said no, she wouldn’t have felt pressured by the hero to stay.

And she smiled at that.

They both had.

So sincere.

***

The morning had come.

And not a moment too soon.

Light poured through her drawn curtains, and her first reaction was to grab the closest thing to plummet it towards the sun.

Not like that would’ve done anything mind you. It would’ve just been to make her point.

Rising up and stretching her arms, she headed down her steps, it had been a weekend, after all, she was allowed a lie in occasionally.

Although, she felt oddly a lot more refreshed than she had remembered, what had change-

Soliane Rin!?

Her head zoomed around the room, where- where was she?

No one was in the room besides her.

So- was it just a dream? Did she really see just imagine it all?

But she couldn’t have, wouldn’t that have just been too cruel, even for her?

Did the gods really hate her as well?

Wait-

That piece of paper wasn’t there before?

Stepping over to her desk, she gently picks it up, almost afraid she’d rip it up.

As her eyes traced over the first words, her mind relaxed.

‘Dear mi Belle, apologise for “dropping in unannounced” and to cause you such trouble. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine thanks to you, I’ll promise to be more careful next time, sincerely your local hero, Soliane Rin…’

Her heart fluttered in gratitude; those events were real. She really did meet her.

As her hands curled around the letter, she smiled. A true sincere smile.

Because after so long, she felt…

Hope.

***

*I absolutely suck at describing clothes, which is why I much prefer to draw instead, I literally have no idea what some clothes types are called so I always end up having to ask my Mum and even then, she doesn’t know half the time so I may end up not describing much clothing in the future so sorry.

Well, I hope you liked it, I do believe these chapters are gonna end up getting longer and longer. I know a few of them are but hopefully, you won’t mind that. It will just make my progress slow but hey I was always slow so it shouldn’t matter too much right? Anyway, well Marinette has met the hero and classmate, she’s definitely different to my other version. But I do hope you like both versions.

Oh, and I may need help with Jess/Jace. I know that she’s Native American, but I’m unsure if there’s any type of detail I must include for them, for example, I’m aware that they don’t cut their hair for symbolic reasons? I’m not even wholeheartedly sure about that. So, I would like to ask if there’s any information that I’m forgetting/missing and I would love to be informed, aka if I need to include a tribe, any type of clothing that would be appropriate to wear or activities they do. Sorry if it seems stupid, I just want to be informed and try my best to make an accurate representation. You can ask me questions, but I will apologise if I don’t understand them in advance. (Just so you know, I’m changing everyone’s design but I’m definitely changing her earrings, I just keep having images of someone pulling them out ugh, hence why I’ll never draw large earrings that people could grab)

Also, if you’re confused about anything feel free to ask any questions.

Cya next time.

Note: Please tell me if I should add anything else to the card, there will be one of these cards for all 15 chapters, however, because I have uni work all updates will be slower because I really need to focus on the uni stuff, then I might be able to upload quicker. They also may change in the future because I can never stop adding stuff.

[writer-and-artist27]

(How Not to Fall, How to Talk)

Inspired by @partialdignity and @lunarimpact, and a long and hard talk I had with my cousin and older brother today. I'm still processing that in the weird reflective way.

I’d like to think this takes place after all the birthday hijinks that happened on the 24th of September, since the number of gift fics I got is still a lot for me to still process in the surprising good way.

@hasquetzdoneanythingwrong and @withanina, more reading for you? Otherwise, please enjoy.

------------------------------------

“How are you feeling, Vy?”

Vy didn’t initially respond to Robin’s question, her gaze instead pointed to the sights of the Oniland amusement park becoming smaller and smaller with the Ferris Wheel’s ascent into the sky, but her fingers twisted amongst themselves, a bit of hesitation echoing through their bond. The long pink sundress Marie had given her in place of her usual Mystic Code merely highlighted her exposed skin, more so than the incoming sunlight past the amusement park’s horizon. Her long brown hair, not tied up for once, framed her cheeks as she opened her mouth.

“If anything, Robin? I’m… not exactly sure. D-Don’t laugh, please.” With those words said, Vy turned her head to look at him, and a smile caught between that kind warmth he was familiar with and hesitant weariness slowly formed on her face. She shrugged her shoulders weakly, glasses slowly sliding down the bridge of her nose to barely cover her eyes. “I’m happy to spend this time with you today, don’t get me wrong. If anything, this is one of the bestest days I could’ve had. I’m just…”

“I’m not going to laugh.” Robin simply stared at her, giving her his undivided attention while staying patient. “Just what is it, little sparrow?”

To Robin’s surprise, Vy ducked her head and scratched at her cheek. “I’m just still a little shocked that this is real. And well, I still can’t believe that this is happening, is all. That I can be happy right now.” Even past the cape of her hair, Robin could see how her ears were turning pink from embarrassment, matching her shy high-pitched addition of, “D-Does that make sense?”

Robin immediately clamped down on the urge to choke, allowing himself a single wince instead as he processed the words. Vy Duong was always a kind girl — someone that deserved a much-better future than fighting for the entirety of Humanity in a battle that wasn’t guaranteed to succeed. She cared too much about others — about the people around her to really stop for herself. To live for herself. Her words more than made sense — they reflected something a young boy had said, long ago, long before he had given up his name. His future — for what in the end?

Now—

(Who said a coward couldn’t do anything?)

In the time it took for Robin to take in her words, it quickly became obvious Vy was getting anxious because she started fumbling with her hands, cheeks coloring a lovely rose hue as she rocked back and forth in her carriage seat. “I-I mean, all the birthday gifts and wishes were great! Coming back to Oniland without worrying about any Elizabeth/Halloween nonsense was great too! I’m just…” Vy cuts herself off with a small nervous giggle, pushing her glasses back up her nose to then finish with a softer, “There’s still a part of me that’s wondering if it’s okay to live life like this. To be happy for me and just me.”

(You’re too kind to others, Vy.)

“…I wasn’t saying that it wasn’t okay,” Robin said slowly, quiet enough for the Ferris Wheel carriage’s creaking to drown out his response if not for Vy leaning in to hear his words out of curiosity. “And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be happy for you, little sparrow.”

(Why aren’t you living your life for you, little sparrow? There’s no second chance at life, even as a Heroic Spirit. I only got lucky the second time around in the Summoning Process.)

Vy still tilted her head at him, blinking owlishly. The rosy color to her cheeks faded in favor of a confused look, her wide brown eyes darkening with something else that Robin was honestly afraid of putting a name to. “…You sure?”

“Pretty sure,” Robin confessed honestly, covering up his grimace with a half-hearted grin, but Vy’s answering pout still made it fade pretty fast. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it, Vy. More so when it’s something you taught me to work on.” He grabbed her hand just before she could raise it in the air in questioning protest, squeezing her fingers enough to bring that cute rosiness back to Vy’s cheeks. It was enough of a success to let an honest smirk form on his face while pressing a kiss to the inside of her palm. “Besides, Master, the day’s just starting. Don’t get lost in your thoughts before anyone else gets to them.”

(You’re the only one who saw me as a Hero. Why can’t I do more for you as a person then?)

Vy still murmured a soft, “Robin…” and the nameless rogue felt his face soften into a warm smile. It was probably something he could never replicate again, except for the little sparrow.

(This girl deserves the world more than the world deserves her.)

“Can I kiss you, little sparrow?” leaves his lips as natural as breathing, and he watches as Vy flushes pink again, her pulse skipping a beat under his grip as he squeezes her hand. “You can still tell me no, I won’t mind. My gut’s just telling me I’m not the only one needing this now.”

(You deserve so much more.)

A soft shaky smile stretches Vy’s pink cheeks as she nods, squeezing his hand back. “…You can,” she whispered softly, her forehead bumping his once he got up from his seat to kneel in front of her. Like a real knight would to his lady, not like a rogue playing pretend for a girl who should’ve had a real man doing this for her. The rising sun illuminated the visible warmth in her face as the Ferris Wheel stopped, just in time for her to say, “I love you, Big Robin.”

She tasted like cotton candy and sugar, a taste almost fitting for how much she kept being sweet to literally everyone she met. Robin kissed her enough to engrave the sensation in his memory, to memorize the shape of her lips and the sound of her little gasps of surprise when his tongue touched hers.

(No one knew when the Heroic Spirits of Chaldea would get Unsummoned again. The Mages’ Association got away with it the first time and it’s only thanks to the first Da Vinci that the memories didn’t go away. Robin was still scared of the moment when that would change.)

It took the Ferris Wheel creaking again for Robin to pull away, the sunlight fading with the attraction moving back down towards the ground, and by then, Vy was giggling with a newfound light in her eyes. “You taste like mint and cloves,” she said, punctuated by another giggle. “What have you been doing, Big Robin?”

“I dunno, little sparrow,” Robin hummed softly against her lips, breath intermingling with hers, “you tell me when we get back to the ground.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell her he bribed the oni down below to let them ride another 2-3 times. Birthday surprises had to be kept as surprises.

[mudhornchronicles]

dreamboat | greaser!frankie morales | part one

pairing: francisco “catfish” morales x reader; greaser!frankie x reader

warnings: smoking, drinking, swearing, lewd comments, mentions of racism.

a/n: We got ourselves a series, ya’ll. I cannot wait until chapter 2. I present to you – Greaser!Frankie Morales

masterlist

You gently close the door as your mother leans over to wind down the passenger side window. “You will be fine, sweetheart. It is absolutely normal to feel nervous! It is your first day after all.”

You nod and feel your tied hair bound up and down. The white ribbon falls on your cheek and you push it back. “I understand, mother. It’s just different than my previous school, that’s all.”

“And they taught you how to be a lady, did they not? You are properly educated, unlike these individuals. Now smooth your skirt down before it wrinkles. First impression matter, correct? I will see you after school. I love you!”

You tell your mother you love her too as you smooth down your white full-circle skirt and adjust your two notebooks on your arm. You wave a goodbye to your mother and watch as she drives her 1953 pastel yellow Pontiac your father had gifted her for her birthday.

You turn and take a good look at your new school and you immediately feel out of place. The cream-colored cement building looks old, but the lawn looks taken care of. The sounds of revving engines and the smell of cigarette smoke abuse your ears and nose. You are most definitely not used to those aspects of the place. Your old school was strict about noises and smells. The only smell they wanted lingering the air was that of perfume and the sound of the girls talking about the school curriculum.

What you see here would give the mistresses a stroke. You see couples shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, students smoking on campus, hot rods racing up and down the streets, and the boys throwing such obscene comments. As you walk up the path towards the building’s entrance, your eyes fall upon a group of five boys whose comments make a chill run up your spine.

“Hey paper shakers,” one calls out. “Why don’t cha shake those pom poms over in this direction? I’ll give ya somethin’ good to cheer about!” The guys snicker to each-other as Benny jokingly thrusts at the cheerleaders. The group hollers at the cheerleaders as they shout insults at the boys and run into the school’s building. You notice that four of them continue to laugh and yell other comments at the athletes, but the fifth just looks around and appears to shy away from joining his friends.

Dressed in black jeans, a white tee, and a worn black leather jacket, Frankie tries to hide away from his brothers’ banter. He never understood why they talk to betties the way they do and then complain that they don’t have a doll around their arm. Pope seems to be the one who is a bit like him, but that’s only because he’s felt the uncomfortableness on the receiving of impudent comments. Being Latino in this town wasn’t the most welcoming while growing up. His family was always met with derogatory comments just because of their appearance. He never understood why people thought it was okay to jump his father every other night on his way back home from work. He never understood why his mother was always denied jobs because she had an accent. He never understood why he rarely had friendships that lasted because their parents said that they couldn’t hang out with the “brown boy.”

Once he grew up, he understood what the concept of racism was. When he met Santiago, or Pope as Frankie called him, he learned that Santiago’s family left his town because they were threatened and when they wouldn’t leave, their house was broken into. The pair soon became best friends and were able to fight off their bullies with each other’s help.

Frankie had never been one to initiate a fight, but he would be the one to end it. Benny was always the fighter. Whether it was his battle or not, he would always be up to throw the first punch. When they made it to freshman year, the boys decided it would be best to create a group of friends that they could lean on when times got tough and to their luck, they met the Miller brothers, Will and Benny, and Tom, also known as Redfly.

You took a deep breath and clutched your books to your chest. You slowly walked up the stairs and as you revert your eyes down to the floor as you tried not to bump into someone and walked past the group – that was until you heard “hey there doll face, where’d you come from?”

You look up to see a tall blonde, younger than the other blonde, snicker at himself and wink at you. You look around to make sure the comment was directed at you and the group laughs. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ to ya sweetheart. I’m guessin’ yousa newbie?” You widen your eyes and steadily nod.

One of the brunettes steps up to you, takes his toothpick out his mouth and replaces it with a cigarette. He takes a deep inhale and blows the smoke in your face. You wave you hand in front of your face and cough as he lets out a laugh. “You that chick that escaped Saint Catherine’s?”

You shrug and nod once more, but with a grimace etched on your face. He raises his cigarette back into his mouth and puts his hand out to you for a handshake – you reciprocate the handshake.

“The name’s Tom, but you, pretty lady, can call me Redfly. Those two over there is Benny and his brother Will. This one behind me,” he points towards one of the two other brunettes, “this one’s Santiago, but call him Pope. You’re familiar with those religious names, right?” This comment earns him an eye roll from you, but it also earns him a scoff from the final member of his little clique.

Tom turns around and looks at his friend. “You trynna say somethin’, ‘Fish?” The brunette smirks and shakes his head. Tom lets out a “hmph” and nods. “This one’s Frankie. We call him Catfish because he may seem like a kicked puppy dog, but the guy can fuck someone up if he really gotta.” You nod and look over to Frankie and find that he’s already looking at you.

You notice just how right Tom was when he described Frankie as a puppy dog. Frankie’s eyes are brown deep-set eyes are captivating. His lips are pink and plush – making you want to give him a big ol’ kiss. His rugged hair calls out to your hands to run your fingers through it. You suddenly lost the ability to speak, so you resulted in clumsily wave a hello, but resulting in your books falling to the ground.

You began to kneel over to pick them up, but a hand stopped you from doing so. Frankie bent over to pick up your things, dusted them off, and handed them to you. What you didn’t see was the boys smiling at seeing their brother be dumbstruck over a girl.

You took your books back with a shy thank you to Frankie and him saying “no problem.” He caught sight of your schedule you received in the mail the day prior and smiles to himself.

“I see you have World History first. Is it with Robinson? May I?” He puts his hand out for your schedule that is taped on the front of your notebook. You pass him your blue notebook and he starts to analyze your schedule. Once he’s satisfied, he gives you back your notebook. “I have classes near yours. I can walk you if you’d like?” Before you’re given the opportunity to answer, Frankie’s friends burst out into laughing fit so loud, the students passing by look over to see the cause of the sound – looking right back to where they were when they see who it was.

“Whatcha gonna do, ‘Fish?” Will teases, “gonna take the new girl on a grand tour of the school? She don’t look the type to give it up behind the bleachers, pal.” Frankie turns red and stutters his denial of the accusation. The boys laugh at him as he nervously tugs on his leather jacket.

“I’d love if you would, Frankie. I haven’t a clue where I’m going, and I really don’t want to get lost on my first day.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s cool.” Frankie nods and stuffs his hands in his pocket.

“Ya might wanna go now, ‘Fish. Princess here ain’t gonna wanna be late,” Tom teases. Tom nudges his head towards the other side of the building. “Let’s go Bandits. Teach’ aint gon’ misses us too much. We’ll see ya in a bit, Frankie.” The boys walk away with Pope and Will giving Frankie a pack on the back with a chuckle – leaving you and Frankie alone on the steps.

“Are they not going to class? It’s the first day and they’ll make a bad impression on their first period instructor.” You ask. You wonder why the boys wouldn’t go to their homeroom, especially being the first day of class.

“They’ll get there… eventually. We can go though. I don’t wanna make ya late or anythin’.” He gestures for you to start walking in front of him, but you won’t walk until knowing something first.

“Frankie, will you be going to homeroom? They said they would see you in bit. Are you just taking me to my classroom and skipping your first period?”

Frankie gets red and shakes his head furiously. “Nah, I ain’t those idiots. My parents would flip their shit if I had to retake a year.” You smile up at him and nod. You reach out to take his arm, as your old school taught you a gentleman should, and were shocked when Frankie pulled away as you touched his arm.

“Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“I was just taking your arm, is all.” You cocked your head to the side. Every man you’d been escorted by has always given you their arm.

It was his turn to act confused. He knew exactly what you were doing and why, but he had a reputation to uphold and it wasn’t him being a gentleman. “What does that mean? Whatcha takin’ my arm for, doll?”

“Nevermind. Shall we?”

Frankie leads you into the crowded building. Students were running everywhere, and voices drowned the pair of you. He takes you to the second level of the building and leads you down the hall and taking a sharp left. You’re a bit lower than he is, but with each step, you start to really get a good luck at the back design on his jacket.

“What does Bandits mean?” Frankie turns around and by instinct, looks at the back of his jacket.

“It’s our group. Call ourselves The Bandits,” he says with “The Bandits” in air quotations.

You stifle a giggle, and he smiles showing of his dimple on his right cheek.

“Yeah, Pope came up with it. I just ran with it.”

“Do you steal?”

“Nah. Pope just thought it sounded cool. Redfly wanted the name “The Unarrestables,” but got arrested two weeks later for mailboxing 7 blocks.” You let out a loud laugh, covering your face with your notebooks, and Frankie looks over at you and smiles. He hasn’t been able to laugh the way he just did in a long time. As you share a funny story about your former mistress skirt being caught in a window, the two of share more laughs as you ultimately arrive at your homeroom’s door.

“Here we are. Room 249… World History with Lloyd Robinson. I’ll come back for you after class to take you to second period. That cool with ya?” You smile and nod. You’re a bit sad that you made it so soon, but quickly disappears when he mentions coming back for you.

“That sounds great, Catfish. Thank you very much.” He lets out a chuckle and nods at you.

“You can call me Frankie. I like the way you say it, doll.” Just as he starts to walk away, a voice makes him freeze in place and slowly turn back around.

“Mister Morales, will you not be joining us today or is your cigarette of much more importance?”

“Mister Robinson. How’s the new kid?” Frankie nervously scratches the back of his head.

“Frankie, get in this classroom or you’ll receive a failing grade starting now.” Mister Robinson gives you a warm smile in comparison to his frown towards Frankie and goes back into the classroom.

“Wait a minute. You have the same homeroom as I do? You said yours was near!”

He sighs and holds his hands up in surrender. “I guess I’ve been caught. We have the same classes, lucky you.”

“But this is AP World History.”

“Just because the guys I run with don’t give a shit, don’t mean I don’t either.”

You stand in front of him and cross your arms underneath your breasts – eyes narrowed and staring into his. “You are just full of surprises aren’t you, Frankie Morales.”

He looks deep into your eyes and smirks. He adjusts his jacket and runs a hand in his hair. He reaches for the handle and opens the door open for you. 

“Ladies first, doll.”

[latinasmoak]

the sweetest life (and the loving is easy when you’re with me)

tumblr version:

rating: mature

tags: no warnings, mutual pining, lol slow burn? what slow burn?, I don’t know her, not actually unrequited love

Chapter Three: Strawberry Crème Brûlée p. 2

He had been hesitant to try it. Her strawberry creme brulee.

His appetite had yet to make an appearance and the truth was he was dreading her news, dreading to be told what he already knew to be true, that she was taken, and completely out of his reach.

Yet he couldn’t bear to disappoint her, not when she looked at him so eagerly, so expectantly. So he cracked the rose gold crust, the sound a crystal clear snap of sugar that whetted the appetite and reluctantly dipped his spoon in.

That first spoonful was ambrosia on his tongue. His reluctance to eat was never because he was fearful that it would be anything less than perfection, but even now he feels a fool for resisting something as delicious as this. The strawberry creme melted in the mouth, soft as velvet and sublime. The caramelized crust added a slight burnt bitterness needed to temper all the sweetness. One spoonful wasn't enough and Colin soon found himself devouring the entirety of his creme brulee.

He couldn’t explain it, but something about Penelope’s food comforted him. The way he felt when he ate something she created, it was a warmth that reached his very soul. Before, Colin would have brushed the thought away. He would have gone so far as to claim that eating anything delicious would elicit the same feeling. Now he knew the truth, it was Penelope. She infused so much of herself, of her joy, of her love, that her food was enough to make a person feel cherished and taken care of. With every spoonful of the strawberry creme, he was reminded that she made this for him and he felt so lucky.

Then she went and moaned, and Colin felt a punch of lust hit him fast and without mercy. Penelope’s sweet and innocent appreciation of her own creation had set his whole body aflame. He couldn’t help but imagine her making that sound again, only this time with him being the sole reason for the moan. Her breathy sigh as she finished her spoonful of the creme brulee had Colin hardening so fast, he felt dizzy with want. He glared at the dessert, nothing should elicit those sounds from her except for him. He should be on his knees, worshiping her as he drowned himself at the apex of her thighs. It should be him.

But it won't be.

She was already taken. He was too late, and it was agony. Everything he just imagined would be done by someone else. That fucking bastard would be the one on his knees, and his name would be the one she would shout out. The mere thought doused the fire within him faster than ice water. His fury had him gripping onto the counter. His rage directed at the man who had the audacity to come and grab his girl while he was gone. Yet however much he wanted to pummel him, the majority of his rage was inward. He was so wrong, to assume that nothing would change, that she would always be there waiting for him to come home. It wasn’t as if she was his wife, with a ring as proof that he would always come home to her. Of course she would live her life. Of course she would seek her happiness, for companionship, for love.

He was such a fool.

And now he was paying for it.

It wasn’t long before Penelope noticed that something was wrong and Colin thanked heaven and earth that she wasn’t privy to the mess going inside his head. She looked at him so sweetly, with so much concern in her eyes he felt himself go weak. His eyes closed in contentment with the mere brush of her hand on his forehead.

Why did he have to lose her? Why did he have to be so blind?

She questioned him, wanting the answers he didn’t even know how to share, but he didn't hesitate.

Something in him took over and all that came out is the most important question that would guide him in regards to how he should treat Penelope Featherington.

“Are you happy?” he asked, voice ragged with intensity. Colin’s eyes burned with the need to know exactly how she felt.

Whatever Penelope was expecting, it was obvious from her reaction that this was not it. “What?!”

Colin closed his eyes briefly, gritting his teeth as he gathered the bravery necessary for this inquisition. He opened them and this time he used her grip on his hands to his advantage, bringing them up to rest against his chest. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating for her.

“Are you happy? With him? ”

The snarl that escaped him would have been embarrassing under normal circumstances but Colin was past caring about pretenses. This might be his one and only chance. Surely however long they'd been seeing each other wasn’t enough to build any foundation... right? And could a month or maybe two, really compare with years?

“Colin? You aren’t making any sense! Who are you talking about?”

Penelope gripped his hands tighter and his brow furrowed at the confusion swirling around in her vibrant blue eyes.

“I saw you with him, yesterday. I just wanted to surprise you, Pen.” Colin huffed as he thought about how that turned out.

“It wasn’t my intention to interrupt any moment, and I left pretty quickly…” seeing the hug had been hard enough, Colin didn’t want to imagine how he would have felt if he had stuck around and seen them kiss.  “I just want to make sure that you’re happy Penelope. You deserve everything your heart desires.”  

Colin was deathly afraid of her answer. Afraid to have to come to grips with the reality that he really had missed his chance. Yet for Penelope he would learn to deal with it. Her happiness mattered more to him than his.

-

It didn’t take long for Penelope to connect the dots, he obviously had come to the very wrong conclusion that Phillip was her boyfriend. Seeing as he was the only man to have entered her flat in the past few days, present company excluded. Phillip Crane as her boyfriend. A laughable concept, as if anyone could compare to Colin Bridgerton. He was it for her. He’d had a hold on her heart for so long she couldn't even remember the days when he didn't. Even when she had tried to date in the past, it had never gone past the first few dates. Every date had become a game of comparison. Not tall enough, not funny enough, too rude and too arrogant, the list was never ending and it was never fair. It wasn’t fair to the strangers who’s only real flaw was not being the man she was already in love with and it wasn’t fair to her to attempt to date when she hadn’t given up. She hadn’t allowed herself to kill the hope still flickering in her heart.

So she connected the dots, but it absolutely terrified her, to even attempt to understand why the knowledge of her having a boyfriend wrecked him so. Did she dare to infer that he was jealous? And if he was, was it because he felt he could lose a friend? Or something more? She didn’t know what to think, but she couldn’t let him go thinking for another second that she was dating another man. Not even to tease or torment him. Her heart rejected the thought of being tied to somebody else, even if it was only in his mind.

“Colin, there is no him. Not like that. He’s a friend, and I was letting him taste the sweets I was making for his girlfriend.”

Penelope figured it was a matter of time before he would find out the significance of who the girlfriend was, but Penelope was not about to break her vow of secrecy now.

Penelope gripped his hand tighter. She was scared-- so scared that this was about to blow up in her face but he had given her an opening and she was going to take it. Something inside of her urged her to be bold. He’d just said she deserved everything her heart desired and there had never been a greater desire in her heart than him.

Penelope took a deep breath and looked up at him, she tried to feel comfort in the knowledge that she could feel his heart thrumming in his chest. Surely that wasn’t insignificant. Be daring, be bold.

Oh Colin, please don’t break my heart.

“I couldn’t be bothered with a boyfriend…if it wasn’t you Colin.”

A watery chuckle escaped her. Her eyes threatened to well up with tears. There, I said it. There’s no going back now. Her whole body was strung up tight, the words just floating out there and it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from her chest, now that she no longer had her longest secret hidden. Her anxiety had her spitting out more words to fill the silence.

“It’s always been you, and I’m sorry if this ruins our friendship but I-”

Colin’s lips were on hers before she could even finish her confession and everything else suddenly ceased to matter except for this moment.

Colin Bridgerton was kissing her.

Colin Bridgerton.

Was kissing.

Her.

His hands cupped her face so gently, leaving Penelope dazed. She felt warm, starting in the pit of her belly and spreading, as if his lips on hers were the switch to turning her body alive . She gasped when he nipped at her bottom lip before soothing the sting with his tongue and she moaned when he took that gasp as an invitation to taste her. She allowed herself to taste him back.

It was hard to believe it was real. That moment; it was everything Penelope had ever dreamed of, only better. Because even her imagination wasn’t good enough to imagine the feel of Colin’s slightly chapped lips against hers. She never knew that he would taste faintly of strawberries mixed with something that was uniquely him. She never imagined that he would move his hands from her face down, down, down to her waist. Slowly spreading a trail of fire wherever his fingertips touched. Penelope’s daydreaming was never this vivid, and never this maddening and when he finally moved his mouth to kiss her cheek, before finding the pulse at her throat, Penelope was already a bundle of nerves ready to explode. Her panting breaths the only sign that she was still breathing. Was she dreaming? Colin sucked at her pulse and Penelope’s knees went weak. Not that it mattered, Colin was there to hold her up.

This was better than anything Penelope had ever dreamed of, because it was real.

This was real.

-

Colin, there is no him.

I couldn’t be bothered with a boyfriend…if it wasn’t you.

It’s always been you.

Each sentence she’d uttered was a bomb bursting into the agonizing fantasy he had begun to build from the moment he walked in on that embrace, and shredding it to pieces. His heart lifted with every second that passed by, the dread that had clung so strongly to his very being, chased away by her declarations. Because that's exactly what they were, Colin wouldn’t pretend otherwise, for some unknown reason, the gods were smiling down at him, despite all his flaws and mistakes, they somehow deemed him worthy enough to be on the receiving end of Penelope Featherington’s love.

He would not waste it. This opportunity, handed to him on a silver platter.

If Penelope deemed him worthy enough to be the champion to carry her heart, he wasn’t going to be the one to let her down.

It was only when she began to mention nonsense about ruining friendships that Colin foolishly realized he had yet to say anything. Words were simply not enough. He had to have her, had to claim her as his.

He couldn’t let her finish, he couldn’t wait a second more. In fact it was rather remarkable that he’d waited this long. He had to taste her now.

So when he held her face in the palms of his hands, and he leaned down to reach her lips, he felt a sense of rightness so strong, he had to smile. His thumbs stroked her cheeks while he teased and licked her soft lips, finally getting the chance to bite at her lower lip the way he had imagined before. She gasped so beautifully and he finally got what he wanted. A taste. She was so sweet, the flavor of strawberry creme she had eaten not that long ago still present. If strawberries weren’t his favorite flavor before, they were now. She was perfect and he felt overwhelmed at the contentment spreading through his entire being. It was at this very moment that he realized that everything he thought he knew about kissing was a lie.What had always been a fun activity, a stepping stone to the next pleasurable act was never so compelling that it felt as if his soul was being branded as hers. He could kiss her forever, and he would still be completely captivated by every little move and sound Penelope made. Every gasp, every moan. It would never be enough, he would always want more.

When the pesky little thing called oxygen was needed for the both of them, Colin was reluctant to stop kissing her, so he moved from her lips to her cheek, a quick brush of his lips before he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He smiled to himself, pleased at how out of breath she was, at how closely pressed her body was to his. He missed hearing her little moans so he went back to sucking at her pulse point, holding onto her tighter as she tilted her head making it more accessible for him to continue. He didn’t know when Penelope had gotten her hands into his hair but all of a sudden he felt a small tug and his head snapped up from the hickey he was leaving behind. His eyes quickly connected with her piercingly blue ones, dilated with pure want.

A dopey smile spread across Colin’s face at the sight.

He’d done that. He had put that look upon her face. He was the reason her lips were swollen, he was the reason she was flushed and panting. Him.

“You are so fucking beautiful Pen.”

Colin leaned his head down so that his forehead could press against hers, simply breathing her in, letting them both calm down.

“You are so beautiful, and you are mine.”

He lifted his head and grabbed her chin with right hand, tilting her head up so that he could stare into her eyes again. He didn’t want a single misunderstanding to occur.

He wouldn’t lie to her, and tell her that he always knew it would be her. He didn’t. A few days ago, this very moment wouldn’t have even crossed his mind, but that was then and this was now.

He was different.

Awake.

Aware.

No pretty lies were needed.

“You, Penelope Featherington, are mine.”

Colin brushed his thumb against her still-swollen lips and grinned, pleased to be making his current declaration..

“And I am yours. All yours.”

Maybe it wasn’t love, but Colin already knew he was falling.

It was terrifying, it was exhilarating and best of all, it was real.  

Penelope’s hopeful smile grew and grew, and she laughed, as tears of joy started running down her face.

It was real. It was all real.

 || AO3 ||

[hailhydra920]

A Chance Protector Pt. 1

Pairing: Lumberjack!Steve x reader

Summary: Moving to a small town to get away from your ex-husband, you find that love can come to even the most troubled of hearts.

Warnings: None

Part 1

           “Mommy, I have to use the bathroom.” Your little six-year-old girl, Dawn, said from the back seat. “And I’m hungry.”

           “I’m hungry too!” Your four-year-old boy, Ronin, added. “Can we get cheese boogers?”

           “Ew.” Dawn gagged. “It’s cheeseburgers, Ronin.”

           “About an hour more, how about we stop at McDonald’s for lunch, then head to the new house? Sound good?” You asked as Dawn and Ronin cheered.

           You parked at McDonald’s and rushed inside. Dawn having said she might explode if she didn’t get to the bathroom. You took Ronin inside the bathroom, telling him he should probably go too. After ordering your food, you guys picked a nice corner table, and began eating. Ronin got ketchup all over his hands and tried to wipe them on Dawn, which caused her whine and quickly scoot away from him.

           “Ronin, be nice to your sister.” You scolded as you wiped his hands.

           “Sorry, Mommy.” Ronin said before taking a sip of his apple juice, and then suddenly asking, “Do you think Daddy will break out of jail and find us again? I don’t want Daddy to hurt you again Mommy.”

           You looked at Ronin whose face had now turned scared. You kissed his chubby cheek and hugged him. “He won’t find us. There’s no need to worry. You’re Daddy and I aren’t together anymore, so he doesn’t get to know where we go. Let’s just focus on happy things, okay guys?” You said hugging Dawn and Ronin.

           “Okay, Mommy.” They both said before going back to eating.

~~~~~~~

           Steve walked into Bucky’s shop, wiping sweat off of his brow. He saw his friend underneath a car, earbuds in, his foot bouncing with the beat. Smiling, Steve walked over and nudged Bucky’s foot. Feeling someone, Bucky rolled out from under the car, popped his earbuds from his ears, and wiped his greasy hands on a rag.

           “Hey Steve. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

           “I have your load of firewood. Where do you want me to put it?” Steve asked tightening his work gloves.

           “Oh, yeah. Um, back of the shop is fine. I’ll help you unload, and we can catch up.” Bucky said following Steve to his truck.

           “So, what do you think the new girl will be like. I hear she has two youngins.” Bucky said grabbing an armful of wood.

           “Don’t know. We haven’t had anyone new in a while. This place isn’t even on the map. But ever since Mrs. Summers died, her house has just been a sad part of the community. It will be nice to have some new people bring joy to the house once again.”

           “And maybe you can try something new and start dating again. Peggy would want that for you.” Bucky said grabbing Steve’s shoulder.

           “I don’t know if I’m ready yet.” Steve refuted, stacking the heavy pieces of wood.

           “It’s been three years since Peggy’s death. Everyone in town wants you to be happy. You can’t just drown yourself in work.”

           “I’ll think about it.” Steve huffed as they stacked the last pieces. “But no promises.”

           “Hey, she should be coming this afternoon. The whole town is doing a welcoming party. You’re coming, right?” Bucky asked grabbing his wrench.

           “Uh, I guess.”

           “Great. See ya there, pal.” Bucky said before popping back in his earbuds and rolling underneath the car again.

           Steve hopped in his red truck and sighed as he looked in the rearview mirror.

           “I better go get cleaned up. Don’t wanna scare the town’s new company.” Steve grumbled as he backed out of Bucky’s shop.

~~~~~~~

           Ronin and Dawn had there faces pressed up against their windows, drinking in the small town that they would be calling home. As you drove past a small candy store, Ronin and Dawn wiggled in their seats.

           “Mommy, can we please go there? Pretty please?” They begged.

           “Maybe after we’ve checked out the house and greeted the neighbors.” You said as you turned.

           After a couple more minutes you saw your new house. It looked like it was newly painted and had a stack of firewood beside it. Once you parked, Ronin and Dawn were unbuckling and hopping out of the car.

           “Look Mommy!” Ronin shouted. “We have a big yard! Maybe we can get a puppy!”

           You laughed. “Maybe. Let’s check out the inside.”

           You unlocked the door, and Ronin and Dawn rushed inside, their tiny eyes trying to take in everything.

           “Wow! This is much bigger than our old house.” Dawn said in awe. “Are we really going to live here?”

           “Yup. I’ve gotta grab some boxes from the car, so you guys explore.” You said walking to your car with a smile.

~~~~~~~.

           Rumbling down the road, Steve whistled an old tune as he drove toward Sam’s house. He had borrowed one of Sam’s ties on Sunday and was going to return it to him. As he was driving, he noticed a car parked at Mrs. Summer’s old house, and saw you grabbing boxes. Being the helpful man he was, he pulled into your driveway, and hopped out of his truck.

           “Excuse me. Would you like some help?” He asked as he saw you struggling.

           You looked at the man in front of you, his wind tossed blond hair, tight flannel shirt, and charming smile was enough to make your knees weak.

           “Uh, yes, please.” You managed as he took the heavy boxes from you with ease.

           You grabbed a lighter box and you both walked inside the house. You set the boxes on the floor by the couch, and Ronin and Dawn stared at Steve.

           “Who’s he Mommy?” Ronin asked eyeing Steve carefully.

           “Um…” You turned toward Steve and he smiled.

           “I’m Steve. I live nearby, actually. Just down the road.” He said crouching to Ronin’s height. “And who might you be?”

           “I’m Ronin. I’m the man of the house.” He said puffing out his chest.

           “Wow.” Steve chuckled. “You must be what? 25?”

           “I’m four.” Ronin laughed showing Steve with his chubby fingers.

           “What? You’re so mature. I thought you were surely 25.”

           You smiled at Steve’s interaction with Ronin. His father was never like this with Ronin. You were glad you had picked a nice town like this one. You watched as he started talking with Dawn, and how she started to giggle at something he said. Steve then stood up and stuck out his hand.

           “Steve Rogers. I’m the town’s lumberjack, and occasional mechanic when I work with my buddy Bucky at his shop. Nice to meet you.”

           “I’m Y/n. Thank you for helping me with my stuff. I don’t suppose you were the one that stacked some firewood outside?” You said shaking his hand.

           “Ah, yes. That would be me. Just a little welcoming gift.” He shrugged.

           Before you could say anything more, a knock echoed through the house. You excused yourself from Steve and opened the door. A woman with beautiful red hair and nice smile greeted you at the door.

           “Hi, I’m Natasha. I brought some cookies.” She said shaking the plate she held.

           “Oh, thank you. I’m Y/n. Please, come in.” You said opening the door wider.

           She stepped inside and her eyes landed on Steve. She sent a smirk Steve’s way, and Steve pretended he didn’t notice.

           “I see you’ve already met Steve.” She said setting the cookies on the table.

           “Uh, yeah. He helped me carry some of our stuff inside.” You said as Ronin and Dawn rushed toward the table.

           “COOKIES!!” They said as the reached for the plate.

           “Only one right now.” You said as they nodded. “And what do you say.”

           “Thank you!” They said before shoving the cookie in their mouths.

           Steve chuckled and saw Nat giving him a knowing glance. Nat turned back to you and smiled.

           “We’re having a welcoming party for you guys at 2 at the community center. Just a little welcome to the community. It’ll be fun.”

           “Oh, thank you. We’re not used to such hospitality.”

           “Well, I best be going. Gotta make sure my husband, Clint, isn’t burning down the house trying to make Ramen. See you at the party.” Nat said as you thanked her again for the cookies and the visit.

           Once she left, Steve tugged on his flannel shirt. “I should probably get going too. Uh, welcome to the community.”

           “Thank you once again for carrying the boxes, and being so kind to my children.”

           “Don’t mention it.” He said with a smile before exiting the house.

           He walked back to his truck and ran a hand through his hair. You were not what he expected at all.

Permanent tags: @sleep-i-ness​

[aphrodisians]

◜     choi  yerim  ,  ciswoman  ,  twenty .     ◞     ┈     through     her     all     -     seeing     crystal     ball,     [     𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳     ]     has     her     winking     eye     trained     on     hestia     jones.     the     ever - enigmatic     fifth     year     is     infamous     for     her     righteous     ways,     but     something     new     seems     to     be     weighing     our     resident     au     courant     down.     a     rumor     is     spreading     through     these     ancient     halls     like     fiendfyre,     &     even     their     erudite     face     can't     save     them     from     the     flames.     she     can     try     to     drown     out     their     sorrows     to     the     tune     of     goddess,     but     xana     can't     fix     everything     ⏤     much     less     something     as     grim     as     [     𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳     ].     but     ten     points     to     ravenclaw     for     trying.

hey  besties <3  i’m  cc  &  i’m  super  excited  2  be  here!  i’m  writing  your  local  hater,  hestia  jones,  who  i’ve  actually  never  written  before  but  i’m  really  excited  for  her.  anywhomstdve,  i’d  love  to  plot  w  all  of  you  &  i’m  ecstatic  for  this!

⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬.⠀ ⠀

an  accidental  crack  of  a  book  spine  that  echoes  throughout  an  otherwise  silent  library,  never  letting  anything  pass  you  by  –  never  letting  yourself  be  unaware,  unwelcome  surprises  that  you  greet  with  flushed  cheeks  and  clenched  fists,  a  collection  of  skirts  stolen  from  a  mother  that  has  seemed  to  have  forgotten  you,  bruises  forming  next  to  the  scrapes  on  almost - broken  knees,  passing  tears  off  as  just  ‘my  eyes  are  sweating’  &  heavy,  heavy,  bags  underneath  eyes  that  just  never  seem  to  sleep.

⠀ ﹟𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲

birth  name.    jeong  hyun - ae nickname(s)  /  alias(es).    hestia  jones. preferred  name.    hestia  jones,  only  hyun - ae  to  family  +  very  close  friends age  +  dob.    twenty  +  dec.  23 hometown.    belfast,  ireland blood  status.    half  -  blood house.    ravenclaw activities.    fifth  year  prefect,  ravenclaw  chaser,  chess  +  duelling label.    au  courant  –    aware  of  what  is  going  on;  well  informed ethnicity.    korean nationality.    irish gender.    cis  woman pronouns.    she  +  her face  claim.    choi  yerim

⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝.⠀ ⠀

height.    five  feet,  seven  inches  /  170cm tattoos.    none piercings.    earlobes  only scars.    a  two  cm  line  that  lays  horizontally  above  her  left  eyebrow  from  falling  off  her  broomstick  during  her  third  year  at  hogwarts hair.    never  dyed,  meticulously  taken  care  of  but  rarely  styled.  naturally  falls  straight  and  is  often  left  down eyes.    round  and  dark,  accompanied  often  by  dark  bags  underneath  and  an  absence  of  makeup usual  expression.    stressed.  just  like,  if  you  look  at  her  you  can  tell  she’s  going  through  it  (  and  has  been  for  like  the  past  three  years  ),,,  she  needs a  break  but  she  will  not  be  getting  one  <3 distinguishing  features.    cheeks  that  always  seem  to  be  flushed  a  rosy  hue  of  pink,  bags  underneath  her  eyes  that  are  haphazardly  covered  with  fake  glasses or  makeup,  brown  -  hued  hair  that  just  always  falls  correctly

⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀

( + )  positive.    erudite,  bluestocking,  intuitive,  heedful ( - ) negative.    righteous,  hubristic,  zealous,  moralistic natal  chart.    triple  capricorn,  pour  one  out mbti.    istj  -  a,  investigator moral  alignment.    neutral  good godly  parent.    athena languages  spoken.    korean  +  english likes.    quiet  -  the  kind  of quiet  that  comes  only  in  the  early  hours  of  the  morning  +  in  restricted  access  zones  where  it’s  close  to  silence  (  but  not  quite  ),  victory  in  all  forms,  feeling  appreciated  tbh,  sleeping  but  genuinely  hasn’t  gotten  a  good  night  of  sleep  in  years,  the  color  yellow,  scarves  that  are  long  enough  to  wrap  her  entire  head  <3,  being  a  hater dislikes.    attention  (  though  she  is  overjoyed  /  obsessed  with  winning  ),  losing  -  a  notoriously  sore  loser,  being  out  of  control  in  any  situation  -  even  if  she  can  have  no  humanly  control  over  it,  nail  polish  (  because  she  bites  her  nails  :/  ),  actually  reading  i’ll  be  honest,  staircases quirks.    as  mentioned  above,  bites  her  nails  often,  doodles  when  stressed  (  which  is  all  the  time  )  -  is  halfway  decent  at  it  too  thanks  to  all  of  the  practice,  can  fall  asleep  in  two  seconds  if  given  the  opportunity,  taps  her  foot  a  lot hobbies.    being  a  hater,  being  obnoxious  enough  to  have  attention  (  aka  dramatic  )  n  then  having  the  audacity  to  complain  about  the  stress

⠀ ﹟𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫

when  he  meets  your  mother,  he  tells  you  it’s  like  the  world  stopped  turning.  she  was  enchanting,  he  says,  like  a  rose  blooming  in  the  dead  of  winter,  a  blossom  of  red  among  a  blanket  of  white  -  and  he  swears  that  he  has  never  loved  anyone  more.  their  romance  is  swift,  a  bouquet  of  flowers  traded  for  an  engagement  ring  and  a  passionate  kiss  exchanged  for  the  start  of  a  family.  your  father  never  says  anything  bad  about  your  mother,  raising  you  on  his  own  with  a  faint  line  on  his  ring  finger.  she  will  be  back  soon,  he  says  with  glazed  eyes  and  love-flushed  cheeks  that  you  seem  to  inherit.  she  will  come  back  soon,  he  tucks  you  in  with  a  faraway  look  on  his  features  and  you  realize  with  a  ceiling  full  of  glow-in-the-dark  stars  that  he  isn’t  okay.  but,  you  hold  his  hand  when  crossing  the  streets  with  you  leading  and  you  let  him  dawdle  about  your  mother  and  you  pat  the  top  of  his  head  when  he  falls  asleep  waiting  for  your  mother.  she’ll  be  back,  he  says,  unaware  that  she  only  visits  when  he’s  not  around.  she  will  come  back  soon,  he  waits  for  her,  a  stranger  in  his  own  body.

you  yearn  for  control  the  way  your  peers  yearn  for  freedom.  freedom,  you  have  enough  of,  but  everything  in  your  life  is  just  out  of  reach.  for  your  entire  childhood,  you  grasp  at  everything  and  nothing,  your  fingers  brushing  past  the  things  you  desire  most.  you  are  a  young  girl  with  magic  in  your  blood,  but  you  watch  from  the  end  of  your  driveway  as  life  seems  to  spin  so  wildly  out  of  control.  your  father  isn’t  okay,  but  you  don’t  understand  why.  your  mother  comes  around  wearing  guilt  like  one  wears  a  birthmark  and  you  can’t  fathom  why.  you  are  left  alone  on  playgrounds  and  with  scrapes  on  your  knees  and  people  whisper  about  you  but  you  don’t  understand  why.  life  goes  on  with  or  without  you,  and  you  think  it  unacceptable.  it’s  infuriating  being  in  the  backseat,  unable  to  control,  unable  to  know.  when  a letter  falls  into  your  hands,  you  swear  to  use  it  to  your  advantage.  you  refuse  to  ever  be  in  the  dark  again.

you  arrive  on  your  own,  a  year  older  than  your  peers,  a  sheltered  girl  from  a  muggle  world  and  you  look  around,  determined  to  change  your  life.  it’s  obvious  to  anyone  early  on  that  you’re  a  bright  girl,  ambition  tied  into  your  intelligence,  potential  pouring  over  every  single  one  of  your  edges.  for  a  while,  it  comes  easily.  you  know  things,  you  understand  things;  most  of  all,  you  learn  how  terribly  things  can  go  wrong.  you  swear  to  never  let  that  happen  to  you,  but  of  course,  life  has  bigger  plans  for  you.  the  first  few  years  fly  by  quick  and  your  hands  build  up  a  reputation  that  you’re  eager  to  upkeep.  you  wipe  the  sweat  off  of  your  palms  onto  your  skirts,  you  might  use  magic  to  make  sure  your  hair  always  looks  good,  you  always  know  the  latest  news,  you  always  pass  your  classes.  then,  you  go  home  during  your  third  year  to  an  empty  house  and  your  father  is gone.

when  you  return  after  the  winter  holidays,  it’s  obvious  that  something  is  -  wrong,  but  you  do  your  thing  and  you  pretend  everything  is  okay.  your  mother  in  all  of  her  magic  and  love  writes  you  a  letter,  telling  you  that  you’ll  be  in  her  care  and  that  only  stresses  you  out  more,  giving  you  gray  hair  and  bags  underneath  your  eyes  that  never  seem  to  away  from  that  point  on.  every  blink  is  heavier  now,  every  sliver  of  information  repeated  as  least  three  more  times,  everything  you  learn  adds  a  little  more  weight  to  your  shoulders.  but  you  soldier  on.  you  become  more  and  more  high  strung,  more  sharp,  more  wretched  with  stress  that  shouldn’t  be  yours  to  shoulder.  you  are  still  an  intelligent  girl,  still  a  bright  witch,  still  gleaming  with  potential;  but  you  almost  permanently  look  like  you’ve  been  handled  an  impossible  task  and  worse,  you  wear  your  flushed  cheeks  almost  as  your  father  did,  a  fact  that  you  dislike  whenever  you  see  yourself  in  the  mirror.

⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

⠀ ⠀  ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ has  a relatively  tough  exterior,  but  wow,  words  hurt  and  hestia  is  a  lot  more  sensitive  than  she  cares  to  admit.  say  one  off  thing  about  her  and  she’ll  be  all  “i  can’t  stand  it  here!”  and  storm  off  angrily,  but  she’s  really  just  gonna  go  cry  in  the  owlery  and  talk  to  the  owls  as  if  they  can  understand  her  through  her  snot  bubbles.

  ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ is  this  genius  of  a  witch,  right,  but  is  the  messiest  person  ever.  her  area  in  her  dorm  is  just  .  .  .  yeah,  it’s  messy.  she  comes  to  the  library,  throws  seven  books  down,  loses  ten  pages  of  notes;  is  disorganized  and  completely  messy,  but  at  least  she  always  looks  put  together.

  ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ coming  right  off  of  the  last  one,  because  she  cares  most  about  her  image  +  her  reputation  than  she  does  anything  else,  mostly  because  it’s  all  that  she  thinks  she  has.  so,  yeah,  she  may  be  consistently  stressed  out  and  on  the  brink  of  a  breakdown,  but  at  least  she  looks  GOOD.

  ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ her  style  is  a  little   .  .  .  amateur,  if  i’m  being  honest. very  season  one  rachel  berry.  always  looks  in  uniform  even  if  she’s  out  of  uniform  and  it’s  because  she  has  no  personality  than  being  a  ravenclaw  prefect  idk  what  you  want  me  to  tell  you.  she  has  never  been  normal  once.

  ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ i  laugh  and  kid,  but  she’s  genuinely  a  genius.  might  have  a  bit  of  dyslexia,  but  is  just,,,  a  smart  kid.  also  makes  it  her  entire  personality  though,  so  i’m  not  sure  what  to  do  about  that.

 ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ also,  not  to  be  That  Girl  that’s  so  quirk  n  clumsy,  but  hestia  is  always  injured.  not  gravely,  but  a  scrape  on  her  knee,  a  cut  on  her  cheek,  tape  around  her  fingers,  etc.  etc.  she’s  a  problem,  to  say  the  least,  and  always  hastily  takes  care  of  herself  (  aka,  cleans  it,  leaves  it  ).

 ⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ in  general,  is  a  hater,  but  is  so  STRESSED  from  having  a  #missing  father  that  she’s  just  like  :|  in  every  situation.  i  wouldn’t  call  her  awkward  per  se,  but  she  definitely  just  says  what  she  wants  when  she  wants  cause  there’s  “no  point  in  quieting  myself  for  someone’s  comfort”  idk?

⠀ ⠀ ﹟𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.⠀ ⠀ in  MY  canon,  hestia  actually  conjures  up  a  fox  patronus,  but  it’s  non  corporeal  for  now  simply  because  she  literally  cannot  focus  long  enough  to  cast  the  charm  correctly  –  in  fact,  a  lot  of  her  magic  has  been  suffering  for  the  past  few  years  due  to  her  stress,  something  that  really  only  stresses  her  out  more  rip  in  pieces.

⠀ ﹟𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

academic  rival:   personally,  i’d  love  for  someone  who’s  just  naturally  good  at  academia  to  be  her  rival,  like  the  person  who  doesn’t  study  and  “doesn’t  care”  but  always  just  manages  to  beat  her  in  scores;  yeah,  i  think  that’d  be  fun  to  watch  her  spontaneously  combust.

significant  annoyance:  someone  who  really  just  is  the  person  to  tell  hestia  she’s  wound  up  too  tight  all  the  time  and  tries  to  get  her  to  live  her  life,  but  she  just  sees  them  as  someone  who’s  ANNOYING  HER  because  maybe  her  entire  life  is  being  uptight,  ever  think  of  that?  rabastan

quidditch  rival:  because  quidditch  is  really  the  only  time  she  lets  her  hair  down  per  se,  this  rivalry  is  more  friendly  than  it  is  serious like  the  academic  rival,  but  there’s  still  a  lot  of  trash  talk  involved  and  meet  ups  in  the  corridors  to  talk  shit  <3

best  friend:  the  one  person  who  she’s  like  .  .  .  super  grateful  for  because  they’re  always  there,  no  matter  what  she  goes  through  or  does  to  them  through  her  stress  induced  breakdowns.  you  know.  they’re  bffs  and  always  eat  together  and  spend  time  together  n  gossip  together.  eloise

tutee:  someone  that  either  hestia’s  offered  to  help  or  has  been  forced  to  help,  either  way,  she’s  as  strict  as  any  professor  and  takes  her  job  completely  seriously.  as  in,  will  approach  them  in  the  great  hall  and  ask  if  they’ve  done  the  work  they’re  supposed  to  do.

stress  reliever:  imagine  this  -  hestia  comes  up  to  your  muse  and  is  like  we  need  to  talk,  but  they  just  find  a  nice  seat  underneath  one  of  the  archways  and  talk  into  the  night,  they  make  hestia  laugh,  hestia  makes  them  laugh,  they  have  flushed  cheeks  by  the  end  of  it  and  she  doesn’t  speak  to  them  otherwise.  xenophilius 

their  biggest  anti:  ur  muse’s  #1  hater???  hestia  jones  <3  why?  probably  because  they’re  better  than  she  is  and  she’s  a  nightmare  of  a  person  so  it’s  just  her  being  their  biggest  anti,  probably  runs  a  hate  account  dedicated  toward  them  tbh  <3  rodolphus

The  Ex:  you  know.  the  ex.  didn’t  end  the  way  they  wanted  it  to  so  there’s  A  Lot  There.  longing  glances,  awkward  bumps,  lots  of  what-ifs  .  .  .  a  lot  of  sad  headcanons,  a  lot  of  wholesome  headcanons.  yeah

like  family:  just  someone  who  hestia  is  so  comfortable  with  that  it  feels  like  they’re  family.  and  by  family,  i  mean  like  the  kind  to  tackle  her  on  sight  just  for  fun,  the  sort  to  tease  her  and  make  everyone  believe  it’s  her  birthday.  you  know?

also  a  barely  filled  tag  here  n  anything  u  can  possibly  brainstorm  i’d  love  <3  thank  u  love  u 

[oureuphoria]

One-Step Forward, Two-Steps Back

Genre: angst, slow-burn, friends-lovers (kind of?), a sprinkle of fluff 

Pairing: tattoo artist jungkook x college student reader

Word count: 6.8K

Warnings: Profanity, mentions of alcohol

Synopsis: You’ve heard of the forbidden love trope and it almost always ends tragically but, falling for your roommates fwb wasn’t forbidden, right? Besides, you totally had everything under control until Taehyung needed your help with a mid-term and used your (tiny, almost non-existent) crush on Jungkook to blackmail you into helping him.  or “Help me pass the mid-term and I won’t tell anyone you have a crush on Jungkook.” “Library. 2pm. Don’t be late.”

Note: Oh boy, okay so I got a request for tattoo artist jk which was *chefs kiss* thank you anon. I was brainstorming ideas and then thought, tattoo artist jk but make it: angst. Therefore, this one-shot (maybe two-shot) was bred. I really liked writing this because I tried to focus more on the emotional aspect than humour which is what I normally do. Forgive me if the emotional parts are horribly depicted, I’m still learning! Enjoy readers, I love you all.

- Part 2

College was hard. You knew that much. But it didn’t help that everyone around you made it insanely harder. It was impossible to get anything done among the ruckus of your two roommates, not to mention their impending need to fuck at ungodly hours. They had simply no regard for your existence. They ate your food, used your stuff without permission, went inside your room and one time they even copied your class notes while you were sleeping. You didn’t hate them though, things could have been worse but in moments like these, you wanted to bury them alive.

You were quarter way through a video of the lecture you had missed when you began to hear the clamorous sound of Suzy crashing into your apartment with her fuck-buddy, Jeon Jungkook. Fun fact: you had a small, microscopic, tiny, itty-bitty crush on Jungkook that you’d never admit to having. He was actually super sweet but whatever douche-ness he lacked in personality, he made up for in looks. He had a full sleeve of tattoos and loads of piercings. He looked like every mother’s nightmare but from what you had been able to infer, he had the personality of an angel. You rarely talked to him and your interactions were mostly brief, only ever talking when nobody else was there.

It was a Sunday morning and you had gotten up at around 9am. You were on the kitchen island, eating cereal when you saw Jungkook stumbling out with dishevelled hair and a messy appearance. Naturally, he still looked hot and you choked on your mouthful of cereal. Your choking startled him and he chuckled at your loud coughs. You drank some water and eventually calmed down but by then it was too late to save you from the embarrassment.

“Morning Y/N.” He greeted you a little bashfully because he wasn’t expecting to see anyone as he was leaving. You gave him a tight-lipped smile, one that was more awkward than polite. “You have a little…” You gestured to the side of his neck where a lipstick stain rested. He wiped at his neck, checking his hand and cursing at the sight of lipstick. You grabbed the tissue box, gesturing it towards him as he muttered a quick thanks. “This shit never gets off.” You watched him angrily wipe at his neck, the stain seemingly endless. “Then I guess this is a bad time to tell you about your lips?” He looked at you with panic and you had to stifle a laugh, messing with him was practically your favourite pass time because he was always so unsuspecting.

You ran into your room to grab make-up wipes and handed them to him. He gratefully took one out, going to wipe his neck. “I feel like I’m missing it, can you do it for me?” No, fuck no. You were supposed to be getting over him and this would definitely not help. “Okay.” You nervously grabbed the wipeout of his hand and wiped his neck for him. You were standing lightly on your toes to see his neck better and out of instinct, you placed your other arm on his shoulder for balance. The proximity made your heart stutter but you tried to ignore the deafening beating in your chest. You watched him flinch when you went over a sensitive spot and you quietly apologised, returning to your original stance that was at a safe distance from him. He thanked you once again, the same bashful smile on his face that you were beginning to find insanely adorable. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He joked, and you felt a sharp pang in your heart because it seemed that you were making more out of the situation than what was really there. All you were was his fuck-buddy’s roommate who he talked to every once in a while and you had to learn to accept it.

You were always a meticulous and organised person but no matter how hard you tried you could not organise your emotions. It frustrated you to no end and the best you could do was hide behind a nervous facade that often failed you because you were incredibly obvious. You pretended that you disliked him. It wasn’t hard, you had almost every reason to because all he seemed to do was disrupt your sleep. You’d been crushing on him for 6 months and nobody had figured it out yet, you were weirdly impressed. You sighed loudly out of exhaustion as you stared at your ceiling in despair. Feelings were horrible and if you had the choice, you’d become a sociopath. Oh, the tranquil ease of never having to worry about your emotions ever again.

In the midst of your blissful daydream, Lisa opened the door to your room, a beaming smile on her face that warned you trouble was to come. “Hey, we’re inviting some friends over tonight, okay?” She asked cutely but before you could argue that it was a school night she zoomed out of your room with little care about what you had to say. You groaned painfully at the realisation that you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight.

As expected, once the clock hit 7pm your apartment began filling up with Suzy and Lisa’s elaborate group of friends that consisted of 11 people; 7 men and 4 girls (including Suzy and Lisa). They came over every once in a while and every time they did you knew to brace yourself because they were loud, disruptive and messy. One time they played a drinking game and it turned into absolute anarchy so you made your roommates promise to never let it get that bad again. All you were left to do was hope they could keep that promise.

You were hungry but venturing out into the living area (which was inconveniently connected to the tiny kitchen) was too scary and you already brushed your teeth. Not only was Jungkook there but you had grown a genuine distaste towards your roommate’s friends. Perhaps it was because you only ever saw them when they were drunk or partying but you liked to stay away when they were over. You decided against going out of your room, you knew that you should probably just have sleep for dinner instead. And that’s what you did, for a total of 50 minutes before the loud chaos began. You were a light sleeper which proved to be a curse in situations like these. Your sleepiness had conjured up a sense of anger and you messaged your roommates to keep it down. They didn’t reply but you heard some hushing which satisfied you enough however they were too drunk to remain orderly and it broke out into undesirable noise once again.

Blinded by your impending need to sleep, you shuffled out of your room in your pyjamas and slippers. You had absolutely no shame when it came to sleep because without it, you couldn’t function. “Can you all please keep it down for the sake of me and the entire apartment block?” They all turned to you, an awkward silence engulfing the room. A couple of them stifled laughs, some giving up and laughing obnoxiously. Your roommates gave you remorseful smiles as they muttered out insincere apologies. They clearly were not taking you seriously so you returned to your room with an angry huff, trying to drown them out.

The next morning you were up early (much to your dismay) because you had a morning lecture. You saw Jimin, who you recognised because of his pink hair, passed out on your couch. You contemplated on whether or not you should wake him up but decided against it. That was a problem you had no obligation to deal with. Like clock-work, Jungkook was quietly sneaking out of Suzy’s room, meeting your eyes while you slipped on your sneakers. “Good Morning.” He gave you a tired smile, no matter how sleepy he was he always made sure he left before Suzy woke up and he explained that it was better that way. You responded to his greeting with a nod, just as tired as he was however unlike him you had lectures and classes to attend while he was content with his job as a tattoo artist. You wondered what is was like to be so sure of what you want at a young age but stopped yourself from pondering while you tied your shoelace. “Y/N, I’m sorry about last night.” He apologised shyly but you knew it was useless. He apologised every time but things always ended the same way, at least there was an attempt though.

“Where are you headed?” He asked you out of politeness, you guessed. “I have a lecture at 9.” He nodded while slipping his shoes on. You opened the door to leave and he followed suit. It was awkward, you walking out of the building together. He tried to make small talk but it always ended dryly. Once he reached his car, you gave him a wave. He waved back and opened his door but paused momentarily before getting in, he watched you tiredly walk away and he felt guilty so he yelled out your name and waited for you to turn around. “Do you want a ride?” You stood there in shock for a moment, trying to contemplate what to say. He gave you an expectant look but you could tell he was just doing this out of pity so you saved him the trouble. “It’s okay, I’m alright with walking. Thank you though!” You forced out a polite smile before quickly continuing on your way. Jungkook didn’t dwell on the rejection too long, he always assumed you weren’t his biggest fan.

Hey, you’re Lisa’s roommate right?” You nodded at the extremely perky boy with a frown on your face. “I also go by Y/N but Lisa’s roommate works too.” He rolled his eyes at your comment before moving to take the seat next to yours. “I need your help.” You ignored his statement because frankly Flappy Bird was more interesting than what he was about to say. “I’m failing this class.” He admitted and you paused the game before turning to him with false sympathy. “I send my condolences.” You joked, sarcasm laced within your words. He didn’t appreciate it but he made no comment against it, if he was going to get your help he’d have to be nice. “I know we’re not close or anything but all I’m asking is for you to help me with the mid-term.” The boy, which you could barely remember as Taehyung, pleaded with a charming smile. You could have ignored him but you decided to humour him for just a little longer. “What’s in it for me?” He gave you a smirk that almost made your hard face falter. “Help me pass the mid-term and I won’t tell anyone you have a crush on Jungkook.” You should have denied the comment, laughed at it, dodged it with all your might but instead all you did was gulp and stare at Taehyung with fear. “Library. 2pm. Don’t be late.” You muttered bitterly and Taehyung was so proud of his triumph. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” You ignored his thanks, dwelling on your sad defeat.

As promised, Taehyung showed up to the library at 2pm, with absolutely nothing but his phone in his hand. “Taehyung where are your notes?” He looked at you with absent eyes, confused by the question you had asked him. “What notes?” Your eyes widened with shock, mouth opening and closing like a fish because you had no idea what to say. “You didn’t take notes in class?” Even though he sat next to you, you paid little attention to what he was doing and now you were regretting it. “No…?” He sat down on the chair in front of you and rested his head in his arms with a pout. “I’m totally failing this semester.” You didn’t mean to feel bad for him but you couldn’t help it. He looked like a kicked puppy, big eyes and pouty lips. You let out a huge sigh before sharing your notes with him and preparing for the horrible 2-weeks that lay ahead.

“Taehyung, we literally just went over this.” You were holding a flashcard, one of many that you crafted to help yourself prepare for the mid-term. Now, your hard work was wasted on a blonde-haired boy with no regard for school. “Um…patent?” Your frustrated face morphed into a beaming smile once he got the question right. You resisted the urge to scream in relief but Taehyung didn’t. “Did I get it right? Fuck yeah!” At the pointed glares from fellow students in the library, he apologised shyly and you quietly snickered at his embarrassment. “Congratulations, you got through the all 3o cards with only 29 wrong answers.” He stuck his tongue out at your pessimism, this was a huge moment for him and he wouldn’t let you ruin it.

You decided you’d see Taehyung 3 times a week, noticing that he was a fast learner after you second lesson and you still had to work at the campus bookstore. It was the weekend following the unexpected deal and your roommates had invited their friends over again. This time, something out of the ordinary happened. There was a knock on your bedroom door at around 8pm, one that you were a little hesitant to answer because your roommates never knocked on your door. Opening it with caution you saw Taehyung’s long figure standing outside your door with an uncomfortable smile. “I was going over the notes you gave me and I have some questions.” He walked into your room uninvited and took a seat on your bed. “This couldn’t wait till next week?” You muttered, you preferred to teach when you weren’t in Iron Man pyjamas. “Why wait when I have the chance now?” He gave you his endearing box smile and you begrudgingly sat down on your desk chair, parallel to your bed. “Go.”

“Why is Taehyung in Y/N’s room?” Jungkook asked from his position on the couch, everyone shrugged, just as confused as he was though no one with quiet as much concern. “I think he mentioned something about her helping him with mid-terms. They share the same major.” Jungkook nodded absentmindedly at what Jimin had said. Unsure of why his roommate would be in your bedroom instead of out there with him. “Why do you look so worried Jungkook? She’s not going to steal your roommate.” They all laughed at Hoseok’s comment, Jungkook joining in a little too. There was some truth in his statement but he wasn’t worried about you stealing Taehyung, he was worried about Taehyung stealing you.

Jungkook would never admit it but he found your interactions cute. They were pretty much the only thing he looked forward too when he forced himself to wake up in the morning. He wasn’t sure about the origin of his attraction or why he found you so adorable but he knew the kind of person Taehyung was and convinced himself that the light sting in his heart was purely friendly worry. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Seokjin had shaken him, repeating the question he had asked before. “Are you okay, bro?” He nodded, refiling his cup with whatever liquor was on the table.

“Thanks Y/N, I owe you.” You nodded his way with a tired smile, it was only 9pm but you could feel your eyelids getting heavy. “It’s okay and about the Jungkook thing…you won’t tell anyone right?” You asked nervously, a timid look in your eyes. Taehyung looked at you sympathetically before making a gesture to seal his lips. You gave him a thank you and then he was on his way, the moment he got to the couch Jungkook began bombarding him with questions. “What were you doing in there?” Taehyung lifted up some papers from his hands. “I was asking her about some notes.” Jungkook nodded before checking the time on his phone. “That’s all you talked about for an hour?” Taehyung nodded, wondering why his friend was suddenly giving him the third-degree. “Why, you didn’t catch feelings for your fuck-buddy’s roommate, did you?” He joked, but there was truth in his question. In all honesty, he hoped that Jungkook liked you back. “No, I’m just making sure you don’t screw her over and ruin what I have going with Suzy.” Taehyung could feel the disappointment rush over him, but made sure to shake it off. Just a few drinks later and the entire conversation was forgotten.

Taehyung missed a class because he had a shift at the tattoo parlour that day and asked you to bring over a copy of your notes to the shop. You agreed solely because that would mean you could escape studying. You followed the navigator to the store and you were pleasantly surprised. It was actually aesthetically pleasing. The monochrome style and minimalist design made it look incredibly elegant for a tattoo shop but you might have had pretty low expectations to start with. There was a wall on the back with photos of some tattoos and sketches. You were skimming through the pictures when your name was called out. “Y/N?” When you turned around you were met with Jungkook and you inhaled so abruptly you choked a little. “Hi, is Taehyung here?” You watched his eyes darken a little at the question but you paid it no mind, he nodded before cocking his head to the room adjacent to the one he just left. “Thanks.” You quickly shuffled to the room, knocking on the door and running in the second Taehyung opened it.

“Hello to you too.” He looked a little taken aback by your sudden entrance but you were too busy trying to calm your nerves. “You didn’t tell me Jungkook was here!” He laughed at your panicked expression. “He works here, Y/N.” His comment made you glare at him because that was clearly not what you meant. “Whatever, here are the notes. Make sure to read them so I can quiz you tomorrow. Oh and make sure you’re revising every night. The exam is next week and we only have 5 days.” He nodded dutifully, adding a salute for good measure. His reaction made you laugh and Jungkook could hear the sound from his room. The familiar stinging feeling was back and he gave up trying to identify it, he just knew he needed it gone.

Once you got back to your apartment, you were startled by the view. Suzy was making out on the couch with Jungkook who was hovering over her. You tried to close the door as quietly as you could so you could make it to your room unnoticed but Jungkook saw you. In fact once his eyes met yours they didn’t falter. You were a little annoyed at the fact that he was staring at you with such sultry eyes while his tongue was down your roommates neck. It seemed as if every time you took one-step forward with him, you took two-steps back. You walked to your room while narrowly avoiding his stare. You sat on your bed with a frown (which was growing to be your permanent facial expression) as you tried to navigate through the hurt that suddenly consumed your heart.

Unrequited love hurt a lot more than you remembered it to and you wondered why you had done something so self-destructive. You wondered why you fell in love with Jeon Jungkook when he was so unattainable. He had been Suzy’s friend for 2 years, her fuck-buddy for 3 months and your crush for about 6 months and yet you still couldn’t find the power to convince yourself to just let him go. When his piercing eyes locked with yours in that moment, you could feel the gut-wrenching pain that returned every time you had to see him with her but you were powerless. You felt like you were losing something, something you never had.

Jungkook didn’t know why he looked at you the way that he did or why he kept going for so long. He had betrayed the entire purpose of going to your apartment in the first place, forgetting about you. He tried to shake off his thoughts, tried to focus on the gorgeous girl that was literally under him instead. Once Jungkook was in her room, he wondered if you could hear the sounds they made. He thought about you listening to his moans and he moaned a little louder. He asked for Suzy to scream his name more often. All he could think about was you the entire time and once it was over, Jungkook acknowledged that he was completely and utterly fucked.  

Jungkook was already weirded out by your appearance at his work place but now, you were at his apartment. “Hi, is Taehyung home?” Of course, why else would you be here other than for Kim Taehyung. He nodded, opening the door wider and moving out of your way. You stepped in with a little apprehension, the concentrated look on your face making Jungkook smile. “He’s in that room there.” He pointed at a door and you thanked him, walking to knock on it. Once Taehyung had opened the door and dragged you inside, Jungkook let out a breath he forgot he was holding and took a seat on the couch, turning the TV on.

You came out about an hour later for what seemed to be a glass of water. Once you were in the kitchen and pouring water into the cup, Jungkook came over and leaned on the kitchen island, eyes fixated on your now nervous frame. “What’s your business with Taehyung?” You choked on your water, now meeting Jungkook’s serious face with a flabbergasted one. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked sincerely because you genuinely didn’t know where he was going with the question. “I just want to know if you’re sucking my friend’s dick, that’s all.” You scoffed at the irony of your situation before washing the glass and putting it back. “It’s not like you tell me the details of your ‘relationship’ with Suzy.” Your use of air quotes made Jungkook cock his eyebrows up and you gulped, feeling nervous once again. “That’s because you never asked.”

Jungkook was now standing upright and making his way to stand in front of you. You didn’t allow yourself to wither away in fear no matter how much you wanted to. “So if I did, you’d answer? Honestly?” He nodded without hesitation and playful smirk grew on your face. “Taehyung and I are just classmates, he asked me to help him pass his mid-term, that’s why I’m around a lot. Your turn.” He nodded with a chuckle, stepping closer to try and intimidate you but it wasn’t working. You were too curious to back down now. “Do you like Suzy? In a non-platonic way?” You hated how the question sounded more personal than objective and you hoped he wouldn’t notice. “No. Do you like Taehyung in a non-platonic way?” He now had you cornered between his body and the counter. “No.” You replied, voice still as strong as when you started but you couldn’t say the same about your will. He was inching closer, so close you could feel his breath on your face but before anything happened, Taehyung bursted through his bedroom door.

“Y/N, I found the- Oh…” He began to regret bursting out after seeing what he interrupted. Jungkook moved away from you quickly and you rushed into Taehyung’s room not daring to look back. “Did I cock-block you? I did, didn’t I?” Taehyung was mad at himself, he had been not-so-secretively hoping that you two would end up together however your angry glare told him he should stop talking about it. You went back to studying and 3 hours later, you decided to call it a day. “Good luck on your mid-term tomorrow.” You said to Taehyung, a tired smile on your face. He gave you a bone-crushing hug that you returned even though it was suffocating. “I’m sorry that I pretty much blackmailed you into doing this but I am so grateful I did.” You laughed once he pulled away and you didn’t realise how much you missed oxygen. “I owe you, therefore from now on I will be your wingman!” Once the words had processed into your brain, you quickly grabbed a pillow from Taehyung’s bed and smashed it into his head. “No. I need to get over him, Tae.” He pouted but respected your decision, or at least he pretended to.

Once you were leaving the apartment, Jungkook was still on the couch. This time he was on his phone, the TV long forgotten. You tried to quietly make your way to the door so he wouldn’t notice you but luck was not on your side. “Y/N? You’re still here?” He seemed genuinely bewildered and once you turned around with a shy smile you saw him check the time on his phone. “It’s late, I’ll take you home.” You tried to reject but he was already getting up, grabbing his jacket off from the couch beside him. “It’s okay, I don’t mind walking.” Of course you minded walking. It was like 11pm and your apartment was a good 15-minute walk away but you couldn’t let him know that. “It’s not a bother, I’m going there for Suzy anyway.” Then you turned to him with pleading eyes and a pout on your face. “No. Please not tonight! I have a mid-term tomorrow.” He laughed because the situation seemed humorous but you clearly didn’t appreciate his input. “Sorry love, duty calls.” He gestured to his phone while he said it and a frown donned your face instantly. “Please try to be quiet. The walls are paper thin and I’m a light sleeper.” You found his dutiful nod adorable, your frown softly turning into a smile. “You have my word.” And then you both left the building, you preparing for an exam and him preparing to get laid.

Jungkook’s word was good for nothing. Sure, he was quiet but Suzy was loud. You tossed and turned, hid your head under the pillow. You even searched the Internet for how to sound-proof rooms but it was useless. It wasn’t quiet again until around 2am and you had to be up by 7am. You decided to treasure whatever hours you could get and prayed they would be enough.

You were peacefully eating your toast and Nutella when Jungkook stumbled out of Suzy’s room, just like every other morning. He gave you a pitiful look when he saw your evident exhaustion and hoped you wouldn’t be too mad at him. “I gave you one job, Jeon. One. Job.” He ruffled his hair tiredly and you couldn’t help but find the action endearing. He came over to where you sat on your kitchen island and shameless took a slice of Nutella toast that you put a lot of effort into making. “Hey! First you steal my sleep and then you steal my breakfast.” He groaned as he rubbed his head from your loud whining but you weren’t about to pity him. You had just as big a headache as he did and he was the primary cause. “How are you so energetic in the morning?” His tone was groggy and deep. The low baritone of his morning voice definitely ignited something inside of you but you had to keep it at bay. You absolutely needed to ace this test and you’d be damned if the reason you failed was Jeon Jungkook.

“I’ve been subjected to feign energy regularly because of my callous roommate and her disruptive boy toy.” You heard a small chuckle but paid it no mind, frowning as he stuffed the last of the toast into his mouth. After he was done chewing (and you were done glaring), he got up and began to stretch. His shirt rid up, revealing just a smidge of his glorious body and you drank your tea with concentration as you tried to distract yourself from him. You weren’t sure why you were suddenly so bothered by everything he did, perhaps it was the tension from last nights endeavours but you couldn’t let it get to you. Unfortunately, you did a bad job because you were now in his car staring at the way his hands wrapped around his steering wheel. He insisted on driving you to school and once he dropped you off, Taehyung was sprinting to your side. “Okay, we have 15-minutes so quiz me.” You nodded with newfound motivation and Jungkook was perplexed by the sight of his rambunctious friend so immersed in his studies.

After your exam which both you and Taehyung were sure you aced, you decided to get ice cream together because you deserved it. He told you that Lisa and Suzy had invited everyone over again and that you should join them. Of course you rejected, that was your worst nightmare. You decided you’d spend most of the night in the library because you needed to finish a paper. Taehyung didn’t protest because he was determined to unleash his self-proclaimed wingman skills tonight. Skills you had no idea would see the light.

Once everyone but you was inside your apartment, they almost instantly began drinking because it was pretty much the only thing they knew how to do. Jungkook was in the midst of complaining about his family problems. “My brother is getting married next week and apparently I have to show up and with a decent date too because ‘my reputation is damaging the prestigious family name’ or whatever and I don’t fucking know who to take.” Taehyung giggled, a little tipsy before suggesting something incredibly stupid (alcohol is a hell of a drug). “Why don’t you take Y/N?” Yoongi started laughing obnoxiously, cueing in the others to join. “He’s got a point. With her perfect grades and her church-girl attitude she’s bound to impress your parents.” Lisa joked before Taehyung was slapping her across the head playfully. “Stop that, she actually really loves him.” Suddenly everyone’s eyes zeroed in on Taehyung and that was when he knew, he fucked up.

An awkward silence engulfed the room and Jungkook downed the rest of his drink instantly. “I’ll go with you, Jungkook.” Suzy suggested and he nodded at her statement, everyone choosing to ignore what Taehyung said but he knew there was no going back now and you might never forgive him. The conversation moved onto to something else but Jungkook was still stuck on what Taehyung had said and his brooding was incredibly obvious. “Come on, Jeon. Don’t feel bad for not liking her back, she’ll be fine.” Jimin comforted and Hoseok nodded, giving him a comforting pat on the back. “You should set things straight with her.” Taehyung gave Yoongi a glare at his suggestion but all he did was shrug in response. “She already knows, no need to rub salt in the wound.” He sighed, exasperated. He hated himself for randomly blurting out your secret but what could he do? Drunk Taehyung was uncontrollable. “Jungkook, come on, you’re not actually thinking about it, are you? You work in a tattoo shop and have enough emotional baggage for a lifetime, she has a 4.0 gpa and dates to marry. You’ll just break her heart.”

Jungkook nodded, brushing off whatever worries he had. Jin was right, you and him was an impossible concept and he could either dwell on it perpetually or get his shit together. The conversation moved on again, this time Jungkook kept up and when you stumbled into the apartment at 10pm, they were already far too wasted too care. Once you got into your room, you changed into your pyjamas and quietly snuck into the bathroom to get your night routine over and done with.

You were in the middle of washing your face when you looked up at the mirror and saw Taehyung staring behind you in the reflection. Naturally, you screamed and then screamed some more because you got cleanser into your eyes. Taehyung apologised but couldn’t stop laughing, his giggles irritating you and your eye. “What do you want Taehyung?” His face got serious incredibly quickly and you began to worry. “If I tell you, you have to promise to not get mad.” You nodded instantly, crossing your fingers behind your back out of childish habit.

“I accidentally told everyone you had a crush on Jungkook.” He blurted it out incredibly quickly but it was still coherent and you stood there, comprehending his words and their consequences. You took in a deep breath, which then turned into 10 because you couldn’t seem to get the oxygen to reach your brain. “Y/N…?” Your silence was scarier than your rage and Taehyung prepared to get shredded into a pulp. “It’s okay.” You whispered, and Taehyung looked at you with his eyes almost bursting out of their sockets. “At least now you’ll stop that wingman crap, right?” You laughed, and you were actually faking a strong front because you didn’t want him to feel bad. You made mistakes too. He was too drunk to read past your facade and smiled, believing even if just for tonight, that he hadn’t turned everything into a catastrophe.

Once you were back in the safety of your room, you began to feel worried. How were you supposed to face Jungkook, anyone, now? The embarrassment hit you harder than your younger brothers toy car in 2010 and you could almost hear your heart shattering and plummeting to your feet. You cried a little but before it could progress you fell asleep and hoped you’d have a better day tomorrow. You hoped you’d wake up with the realisation that Jungkook would never be yours and you hoped your heart would be void of him. This night was his eviction notice and all you could do was hope he’d listen.

You spent the week avoiding Jungkook, Suzy and Lisa excessively. You woke up early and stayed out late. You shoved yourself into school and picked up almost every shift at the bookstore. You did absolutely anything and everything to make sure you were out of his way. You knew the only thing left unspoken was, “Y/N, I’m sorry but I don’t like you that way,” and you really didn’t need to hear it. In fact you hoped that the amount of times you repeated the phrase in your head would be enough to spare you from a rejection in general.

It was a Saturday night and you were shamelessly scrolling through twitter when you heard your door slam open and then shut. “Jungkook, are you going to stay mad at me forever?” You heard Suzy yell the moment she got inside, and you heard Jungkook laugh bitterly before yelling back. “Did you have to talk about our sex life in front of my fucking family, Suzy? Did you have to tell them that we get drunk every weekend and that I work in a fucking tattoo parlour?” You winced at his voice and more importantly his words. So, their Saturday night didn’t go well, that makes the 3 of you. You shouldn’t have been eavesdropping but did it even count if they were yelling?

“God, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry? I can’t change myself for your parents, Jungkook!” He scoffed and you could hear the anger seeping in his bitter tone. “For fucks sake, Suzy. I asked you to act for one goddamn night and you couldn’t fucking do it. It’s not like you’d ever meet them again, we’re just pretending!” “What if I don’t want to pretend?” There was an awkward pause after Suzy’s question and you gulped. Things had just escalated incredibly fast and you were still now standing next to the door to hear them better. “You can’t do this. We made a deal, no catching feelings.” You could hear that his voice softened and you wondered if your rejection would have gone the same way. “I know, but I couldn’t help it!” You heard him sigh, you also heard heavy footsteps and assumed them to be his. “How long?” “2 months.” You heard him curse, you realised she’d liked him for two-thirds of their arrangement. “You should have ended things the second you found out.”

You could hear her crying and you realised this was not your business to listen to. You walked back to your bed but hit your toe against your chair and tripped. You fell to the ground with a loud thud. “Ow! Shit!” You got up from the floor and your door was opened. “Y/N? How much did you hear?” Suzy stood at your door with a tear-stricken face and panicked eyes. “How much did you want me to hear?” “None of it.” “Then I heard nothing.” You were speaking through the pain as you clutched onto your poor toe. You saw Jungkook behind her, watching you both with darkened eyes. You’d never seen him genuinely angry and at the sight, you hoped you never would. “I can’t handle this.” Suzy walked off into her room and slammed her door and you quietly wished that Lisa was here.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked and you couldn’t help but laugh. Physically? You were absolutely fine other than the numbing ache in your pinky toe. Emotionally? You had a broken heart and a bruised brain. “I’m fine unless clumsiness is a disease. Then I am very sick.” You tried to relieve the tension the only way you knew how and it worked, for a little. He chuckled a bit before leaning onto your door frame with fatigue. “My parents would have loved you.” He said, eyes filled with adoration as he looked at your pouty face. “You can’t say things like that.” “I know, I know.” He ran his hand over his face before he ruffled his hair. “When did this get so complicated?” You gave him a pitiful look, 2/3 of the members of this apartment were in love with him and the poor boy was unaware the entire time.

“You could just leave and pretend his night didn’t happen. I’m sure Suzy wouldn’t be opposed to it, she values your friendship a lot, you know?” Jungkook smiled at you but it seemed more sad than happy. You wondered when something as simple as a smile could be so complex. When did it get so complicated? “And how do I fix things with you?” He was inching closer to you again and you could feel your eyes tearing up. You quickly faked a smile because the only way to stop yourself from crying was by pretending you were okay until your body believed it too. “There’s nothing to fix here, I promise.” Your method failed you because a tear slid down your face that you quickly wiped away. He leaned down onto his knees, now face to face with you who was seated on your bed. He had his hand on your cheek, wiping the second tear away. He came close to you again and you were leaning inwards too, you were about to kiss, so incredibly close to everything you ever wanted, but you pulled away. “Please don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it.” You hoped he’d tell you that he did, that his lips would be on yours and your feelings would be returned but things never went that well. He gave you another sad smile, before getting up and walking away, the sound of your front door closing was your cue to cry. One-step forward, two-steps back.

[demigodreading]

WSVU Day 2

Characters: Willow, Olivia Benson, Fin

Theme: First Kiss

Warnings: This is my least favorite one that I have for this week. It just was not anything like I had originally wanted it to be. Horrible Fluff, Undercover Mission

Relationships: Olivia Benson x Willow Olivia Benson x Original Character

Summary: Original Character, Willow, and Olivia Benson are thrown into an undercover operation at a lesbian bar. Olivia reveals her true feelings for Willow and they end up in bed together. 

#WSVU WEEK

Secrets Out

Willow was still relatively new to the SVU squad when she was placed undercover with Olivia to try and lure out a perpetrator from a local gay bar. He was known for following out lesbian couples back to their apartments. Once there he would tie one up while he forced the other one to have sex with him. If they did not follow his exact orders he would beat and cut the one that he had tied up. Three lesbian couples had been attacked but they were no closer to finding out who he was. He was careful and seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else in the bar. Before it got any worse Cragen decided to send his only two female detectives undercover to lure him out. 

Willow and Olivia were close friends by the time they heard the details of the undercover operation. They had bonded over being the only two female detectives and would often work out together after work. Rock climbing was what Willow enjoyed the most because of the rush that she always got when she reached the top. Olivia however enjoyed runs through central park. She loved feeling the breeze on her face and being outdoors instead of stuffed indoors all day. Lately, they had been doing more than just working out together. Short conversations after workouts had turned into dinners. Dinners had turned into movie nights. Movie nights had turned into the occasional sleepovers when Willow had fallen asleep on Olivia’s couch during the movie.

During these sleepovers, Olivia would tuck a blanket around Willow making sure she wouldn’t get cold in the night. Sometimes Olivia would even sneak a soft forehead kiss just light enough that Willow would barely stir. It was nice having someone in the apartment to make the long dark nights seem a little more manageable. Plus Willow always seemed to know how to make Olivia smile when she felt like drowning herself in a wine bottle. She was falling for the other woman rookie detective and she only could hope that the same feelings were had by Willow.

Olivia had finally mustered up the courage to ask Willow on a proper date when their undercover plan launched for that same night. Willow and Olivia were released to go home and get ready. The plan was that they would meet at Willow’s apartment and then head to the bar from there because she was closer. They would hang out at the bar for awhile flirting and trying to lure the man to follow them home that night. Fin would be working as security at the bar while Munch, Cragen, and Elliot would be out in the van in case the woman needed back up.

Olivia and Willow gathered their stuff and headed to the elevator together to prepare for the events of tonight. When they reached the bottom floor Olivia looked at Willow. She was wringing her hands out nervously searching through her purse for her keys mumbling curse words.

“Willow,” Olivia said, grabbing Willow’s hand, “Are you okay?”

Willow seemed to calm under the touch of Olivia, “Never been undercover before. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You are going to do great. This is going to be easy,” Olivia smiled squeezing Willow’s hand, “Just imagine tonight as another one of our girl’s night. Another day of hanging out and just having fun.”

“We are going to have to do more than just hanging out tonight if we want to catch the guy Liv.”

“Would that really be so bad?” Olivia replied nonchalantly giving Willow a quick kiss on the cheek, “I’ll see you at your place at 6.”

Before Willow could respond Olivia was rushing out the door. Willow placed her hand gently on her cheek where she could still feel Olivia’s kiss burning against it. Did Olivia really just say that them going on a flirty date wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world? That was something Willow had dreamed about since the first day she had laid eyes on Liv. This however was definitely not the way that she had ever planned their first date to be. Undercover putting their life on the line to try and find a serial killer. 

An hour later there was a knock on Willow’s apartment door. She had just finished getting ready, her hair still slightly wet from her shower. She was in a tight red dress that dipped down low into her cleavage. The back of the dress was mostly open with thin straps criss crossing to keep the fabric together. She had on tall black heels and to complete the look some dark red lipstick. She hadn’t been this dressed up since she had gone on her last date with her ex-girlfriend when she had first started at SVU. When she opened the door to find Olivia standing in with a bouquet of red roses.

Willow smiled, opening the door up for Olivia to step inside. Olivia has had her burgundy hair down like she always did but it was the shirt that really caught Willow’s attention. It was a tight black tank top that had a crisscrossed front that showed off Olivia’s cleavage perfectly. Around the tank top, she had a black leather jack pulled on that complimented her ripped black jeans. She had black boots with a small heel pulled on that kept her a couple of inches taller than Willow. 

Olivia handed the roses to Willow, “You look stunning Willow.”

Willow felt her cheeks turn a bright red and she went to find a vase for the flowers, “I could say the same thing about you Liv. You look gorgeous. Thank you for the flowers by the way.”

“Of course, pretty girls deserve pretty flowers on their date,” Liv smiled.

“So you were serious about what you said earlier?”

It was Olivia’s turn to turn bright red, “I was going to ask you out before we go put on this assignment. I had been trying to work up the nerve all day but the captain really ruined my thunder.”

“Well, just so you know. I would have said yes,” Willow smiled taking Olivia’s hand in hers.

“Good to know,” Olivia said squeezing Willow’s hand, “What about after tonight we can go on a date where all of our coworkers won’t be keeping an eye on us.”

Willow let out a tiny groan, “I forgot they would be there tonight.”

“Don’t think too much about it Willow,” Olivia said pulling her to the door, “Like I said tonight is all about having a little fun.”

They arrived at the bar twenty minutes later grabbing each other’s hands as they stepped out of the cab. Munch and Elliot watched as the two women approached the back of the line. Olivia wrapped her arm securely around Willow’s waist holding her close as they waited to get closer to the bar. When they got to the front Fin quickly checked their IDs and they ushered them inside. The bar was packed and Willow clung to Olivia as she pushed through the crowd to find two empty seats at the bar. 

They needed to be out in the open enough to attract the attention of the man they were looking for. Olivia and Willow sat close together as Olivia ordered drinks for the both of them. Olivia kept her hand high on Willow’s thigh causing a slight shiver to come down Willow’s spine. When their drinks arrived Willow took a big gulp out of it downing it with one breath. She immediately ordered another one as Olivia slowly sipped at hers.

“Willow,” Olivia said gently rubbing her thigh, “Take a breath beautiful.”

“I’m sorry Liv,” Willow sighed, “I haven’t been on a date since I broke up with my ex girlfriend. I feel completely out of my element.”

“Just let me take the lead,” Olivia said and leaned into Willow, “I promise I will take good care of you.”

Olivia placed a gentle kiss on Willow’s neck causing a soft moan to escape her lips. Olivia quickly downed her drink and then dragged Willow onto the dance floor. Olivia laced her arms around Willow’s waist pulling her in close. The feeling of Olivia pressed this close to her made Willow almost collapse right then and there. She wrapped her hands around Olivia’s neck as they moved to the movements. One song bled into another and soon everyone else in the room disappeared.

When Willow pulled her head back slightly she made eye contact with Olivia. Before she realized it Olivia’s lips were pressed hard against hers. The feeling was electric as she ran her fingers through Olivia’s hair pulling her even closer. She felt Olivia’s tongue brush over her bottom lip. She opened her mouth slightly allowing Olivia access and moaned into the kiss. As they finally broke for air Olivia noticed Fin trying to catch their attention. Olivia laced her fingers through Willow’s making their way to Fin.

“Hey lovebirds, captain wanted me to tell you both that you are off the hook. They caught the guy following a different couple home. Said that you both could go home for the rest of the night,” Fin said as they all stepped out of the bar.

“Thanks Fin,” Olivia said, offering Willow her jacket as the cold breeze finally hit them, “We will see you in the morning.” He nodded, “Also your secret is safe with me guys.”

Willow and Olivia smiled as they said their final goodbye to Fin. In the cab Olivia and Willow sat as close as they could to each other. They walked up to Willow’s apartment hand in hand. As soon as the door shut Olivia was all over Willow. She was biting gently down her neck as Willow kicked off her heels. In one swift movement Olivia grabbed Willow’s ass pulling her up. Willow immediately wrapped her legs around Olivia’s waist giving directions to the bedroom as Olivia continued to peck down her neck leaving marks that would be dark bruises in the morning. 

When they got down to the bedroom Olivia flopped Willow onto the bed. Olivia stripped of her tank top and pants quickly before laying her naked body back on top of Willow. She stopped momentarily looking into Willow’s eyes for wordless consent. Willow nodded her head and kissed gently down Olivia’s neck. Olivia moaned pulling at Willow’s dress. She threw the dress into the pile along with her clothes. They tangled their limbs around each other as they leaned into another kiss.

Olivia kissed down Willow’s neck once again biting right at her pressure point. Willow let out a long moan as Olivia sucked gently making sure Willow would remember this night for days to come. Once she was done Olivia continued to make her way down taking one of Willow’s breasts gently in her mouth. Willow let out a long moan lacing her fingers through Olivia’s short hair. As Olivia worked over her breasts she slipped a hand down between her thighs. 

“Already so wet Willow. We haven’t even started,” Olivia said as she gently swiped her finger through Willow’s folds.

Willow let out a whimper, “Olivia please.”

“Please what?”

“Fuck me,” Willow whimpered as Olivia swiped gently over her clit again.

“Well since you asked so nicely,” Olivia smirked and dipped one finger slowly inside of Willow.

Willow opened her legs more so that Olivia was able to insert two fingers inside of her. Willow dragged her nails along Olivia’s back moaning out her name. It was all the encouragement she needed to keep going, setting a frantic pace. She kept her palm against Willow’s clit circling it slowly. It wasn’t long before she felt Willow spasming around her moaning loudly. Olivia kept gently pumping her fingers until Willow had officially ridden out her orgasm. 

Willow let out one final gasp as Olivia removed her fingers and sucked off the juices. Once her fingers were clean she placed a gentle kiss on Willow’s forehead. Willow wrapped her arms around Olivia still slightly shaking. Olivia placed her head on Willow’s chest listening to her heart beat. Soon both women fell asleep, their limbs tangled together.

[allkinds-oftrash]

To Lady Paige, With Love

A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first time writing for Bridgerton and Regency in general so hopefully it's not too OOC and modernized but do let me know if you have tips to make the writing style seem more regency-like.

Main Pairing: Eloise Bridgerton x FemOC! Paige Crane (Past! Marina Thompson x Paige Crane)

Anyways this came to me as an idea because I just could not stand Phillip in the original To Sir Phillip, With Love and big thanks to @ladiesofwinterfell whose Phillip posts only fuelled my need for a new version of TSPWL. So I wanted to try my hand at writing a genderbent version of him who softer and kinder in her approach when with Marina. Instead, I somehow made a completely new character who happens to be his twin sister Paige. I tried my best to follow the book very closely with of course changes to the point of view and how Marina is treated by Paige. Another thing to note is that I used a mix of the show (especially when crafting Marina's backstory it's straight out of S1) and book's background of the characters.

I'm going to stop babbling now, and happy reading everyone!

Content & Trigger Warnings: Mentions/Descriptions of (Postpartum) Depression, Implied Child Neglect, Suicide Ideation, Suicide Attempt, Teen Pregnancy (?? I dunno if this needed to be tagged as tw but Imma add it anyways), Death and Grief.

Part 2 - Chapter 1: Right Where You Left Me

Prologue: Take Me To The Lakes [14th February 1823]

It shouldn’t have been a sunny day. It was far too beautiful of a day for a tragedy to occur.

A tragedy on Valentine’s Day, it was almost laughable.

Paige had asked the servants to open up Marina’s curtains. She knew the sunlight would do her some good. While waiting for the kitchen staff to prepare a delightful breakfast of pancakes - Marina’s favourite - she decided to check on her flowers. She had grown a lovely patch of Eden roses, specially for her best friend.

Ever since her brother Phillip and her were children, they were enamoured with botany. Phil, of course, immersed himself in the science of it. Paige preferred simple gardening. If she needed information on more complex maintenance of their plants, she knew where to find his textbooks. Over the years, Paige had developed a thumb as green as her brother’s. While Philip used botany as an escape, Paige used it as a way to connect. It was the very same type of roses that helped Paige find her way to Marina.

September 1812

Marina Thompson was a sight to behold. Her corkscrew curls were half pinned up, allowing the bottom wave of curls to be free. Paige couldn’t help but be mesmerised at how well suited her hairstyle was. Marina had a side part, almost covering the left side of her face. She donned the most simple of peach day dresses. Yet to the Crane girl, it seemed to be the most beautiful piece of garment she could have worn. To this day, Paige swears she heard music swell around her the moment she saw Marina bent over, smelling the rose bush.

She takes a deep breath. It helped ground her to muster the confidence to approach the beautiful stranger. The Crane twins have always been shy and reserved. It had done nothing good for them. She was tired of letting life pass her by. Philip could hide in the bushes for all she cared. Today, Paige decided to make a choice. A choice that could potentially bring her happiness. She was going to talk to the girl who made her heart sing.

Taking baby steps, she finally reaches Marina and gives her an awkward smile. When she needed it most, words seemed to fail her. Marina felt Paige’s presence hovering and looked up. She smiled kindly at her and handed over a rose she had plucked. Paige looked down at the rose, in a slight panic. She was rooted to the ground, unable to say or move.

“Good evening, Miss…?” Marina kept her eyes trained on Paige. She trailed her greeting off, hoping to get a name. Paige immediately fell for the warmth in her eyes. She felt safe. That definitely helped to ease her up.

“Crane. Paige Crane.” She cleared her throat awkwardly before introducing herself. She takes the rose from Marina and the two girls shake hands. All Paige could think about was how warm and soft her hand felt. Struggling to say more, she turned her focus to the rose. She twirled it around in her fingers and looked at her companion.

“These are Eden roses, also known as Rosa ‘Pierre De Ronsard’ named after the French poet. However, it was far too pretentious of a name for those out of the French border. So it was renamed Eden Climber to convey the idea of paradise was created by the exceptional beauty of this rose.” She was acutely aware she was rambling. It was the way Marina was watching her intently that brought her comfort. Marina gave her a cheeky smile when she was done with the fun fact.

“An exceptionally beautiful rose for an exceptional beauty.” Marina gestured to Paige. The botanist’s cheeks started to turn as pink as the rose.

“Eden roses from the girl who seemed to have fallen from Eden.” She thought to herself...until she heard Marina chuckle. Paige stared at her, horrified. “I thought out loud, didn’t I?”

Marina nodded, laughing with her whole body now. If Paige could have bottled the sound, she would. Marina grinned at Paige as she looped her arm through hers.

“Don’t be embarrassed. That was a lovely compliment. I think we're going to be wonderful friends, Paige Crane.”

They have been inseparable since.

***

With Phillip away on business for the week, Paige made sure to spend extra time with Marina. She carefully cut the stems of the roses to make a small bouquet. She tied them together and brought them straight to the kitchen. She placed the roses by the pancake plate. She picked up the tray and made her way to Marina's room. She balanced the tray on one hand and knocked with the other as she crossed the threshold.

"Marina, are you awake, love?" Paige asked gently. She stepped closer to her and held out the roses. "I brought you your favourite roses too, Eden Climbers. An exceptional beauty for an exceptional beauty." She echoed the line from their first meeting.

It was love at first sight. She remembered how much fun they had together. Oh where had the time gone? She frowned when she noticed the curtains were shut again. She set down the breakfast tray by her nightstand before making herself comfortable next to Marina lying down.

"If you could walk to shut the curtains, you can sit up to have some breakfast. I had the chef make your favourite." Paige attempted to waft the smell of pancakes in the direction of her companion. Marina simply turned away and stared out at the window. Paige reached out to gently stroke her hair.

Marina had her good and bad days come and go. Paige knew she had to give her space and let her heal on her own. It had been 9 years….this was definitely more serious than postpartum. She was sure of it. Paige gave her a few more minutes before digging into the breakfast herself.

"Rina, I will finish all of the pancakes if you don't come get some!" Paige attempted to sound threatening but her meek voice did her no favours. She caught a silver of a smile on Marina's face. That was all she needed that day. They just had to get through this one moment at a time.

"I saw that, love. Would it be easier if I fed you?"

Marina managed a small nod. She detested feeling like this. Like she was constantly drowning. If everyone thought they couldn't understand why she was this way, she hadn't had the foggiest idea either. Most of all, she hated how it affected Paige. Marina knew she didn't deserve this. Paige deserved a whole person not the shell of a woman she had become. She let out a soft sight and did her utmost best to sit up slightly so they wouldn't get syrup all over the sheets.

Slowly and surely, one bite at a time, Marina finished a full pancake by herself. Paige beamed at her proudly after she was done. Marina took the moment to relish in her smile. Paige always made everything better. Marina might have been depressed but she was no fool. She knew what Phillip thought of her. Even if she spent most days unable to leave her bed, she saw the way he looked at her. Like she was a fragile, broken melancholic thing. He didn't see the person underneath. He only saw the shell. Paige… She knew Marina before the twins came along. She knew the true Marina. The one who laughed and smiled and had known joy. The Marina Thompson that loved Paige Crane with all her heart. That should be reason enough to work hard to recover. To retain who she once was. Paige should be enough.

The botanist saw her companion's vacant eyes and knew she was gone for the day. Paige smiled at her comfortingly. "I ought to check on the children. I shall leave you to rest, dearest. Do ring the bell should you need anything at all." She pressed a soft kiss against her forehead before taking her leave.

As she stepped out looking for the children, Miles directed her to Phillip's greenhouse. The children loved to make mischief there when their father wasn't there. She popped her head into the Greenhouse.

"Amanda! Oliver!" She said sharply to startle them. Seeing them jump out of their bones, she couldn't help but laugh. The twins turned to her and frowned.

"Aunt Paige, that's not funny!" They pouted at her. She snorted.

"Well it was pretty funny when you did it to me yesterday. I'm simply returning the favour, my dears." She chuckled, pulling them into her embrace.

Just as she was about to suggest playing hide and seek by the lake, Amanda squeals. "Mother!" She pointed behind Paige. Paige simply blinked at her niece before slowly turning around.

Marina? It couldn't be. She caught sight of a flash of red. Red. Paige smiled to herself as she shook her head. It must be her. Red was her favourite colour. Marina always said she liked it because it was a strong colour and it made her feel strong.

Paige was filled with joy. Marina had finally gotten the strength to step out. She grabs the children's hands to bring them over to their mother. It would do them good to spend time together outside of her room. The trio was halfway across the field when Paige worked out exactly why Marina had come out. The horrifying epiphany clicked when she saw Marina slip rocked into the pockets of her dress. She immediately turned to the children. They did not have to witness this.

“Children, I need you to do me a favour.” She put on her most calming smile. She kept looking back at Marina to see how far she was away from the lake. “Could you be dears and please fetch Miles for me? Then I need you to go and play in your room. Your mother and I need to speak privately.”

“Why is she walking to the lake?” Amanda questioned. Paige tried to keep her composure. If the children kept questioning, she wouldn’t be able to reach Marina in time.

“I will explain later, please get Miles. It’s urgent.” Paige sent them off running while she sprinted in the other direction the moment they were out of sight.

“MARINA, STOP!” She bellowed at her best friend. She skidded across the field and fell face flat just yards away from the lake. Marina was completely oblivious, submerging herself into the depths of the lake. It was just her and the magnetic pull of the lake. It was like Paige wasn’t even there. She quickly recovered. She didn’t waste time undressing and dove straight into the icy waters to rescue Marina. She’ll be damned if she was going to let the love of her life go without a fight.

She couldn’t find her. Marina had dropped off to the deep end and Paige felt like she couldn’t breathe. She could never forgive herself if Marina succeeded. A glimmer of hope shone through when she caught sight of Marina’s ruby red cloak floating to the surface. Before it could get sucked into the depths of the lake, Paige screamed Marina’s name one last time as an attempt to snap her out of it. Of course, Marina couldn’t hear her. Paige set her sight on the flash of red and swam to it.

Paige did the math; Marina had been under barely a minute. It was probably not enough time to drown, but every second it took her to find Marina was one second toward her death.

She remembered swimming in the lakes with Phillip when they were children countless times. While he still swam and knew the lake better than she did. She had a vague idea where the bottom dropped off. She felt relief when she quickly found the critical point with swift, even strokes. The main obstacle was her dress working against the drag of the water, slowly her down. She cursed, not having stripped before she went in. She did her best to overcome it. Saving Marina was far too important.

She told herself she could find her. She had to find her. Before it was too late.

She found herself diving further down the murky waters. She struggled to keep her eyes open with some of the sand from the bottom swirling around her. Marina must have kicked it up as she went down. The opaque clouds of sand were making it difficult to see. Eventually, relief washed over Paige again when she spotted Marina’s red dress.

She didn’t hesitate to shoot through the waters, down to the bottom where she saw the red of her

cloak floating through the water. Paige felt her heart slow down the moment Marina was in her arms. While they were both petite women, Paige did struggle initially to swim up with Marina. Slowly but surely, she forged their way to the surface. Once she had pulled her onto the grassy knoll of the meadow, she had already lost consciousness and was nothing more than a dead weight in Paige’s arms. She took a moment to take big gasps to fill her aching lungs once again. She made sure she was okay herself before turning to save Marina.

Paige tried shaking her awake, rather violently to get the water out of Marina’s system. Just as she started chest compressions, Miles came running over.

“What happened?”

“She...fell in.” She didn’t even look up at him. She hated how her voice trembled as she said that out loud. She couldn’t bring herself to admit that Marina had gone in on purpose. Marina had chosen to leave her. She knew it was hard on her love but she refused to think about it presently. She was too busy trying to revive her. When the chest compressions felt like a failed task, Paige turned to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. She blew the air into her mouth, hoping the water would come up her throat.

“Marina, please.” Paige pleaded as she finished her set of resuscitation. All she could do was wait. She finally turned to look at Miles, “Miles darling, could you help me send someone to fetch the doctor.” She requested, exhausted clear in her voice. He nodded swiftly and set on his task. Just as he turned to head to Romney Hall, Marina coughed up the water and started rasping. Paige gasped and squealed in surprise, launching herself into Marina’s arms. She called Miles back to help her guide Marina back home.

“You came back to me.” She whispered with relief, starting to softly sob against Marina’s chest. Marina was tired and she could barely keep her eyes open. Her head lulled against Paige’s.

“It’s okay, we’re going home.” Paige continued and Marina stirred, frowning.

“No…” Now it was her turn to sob, “Please don’t. Let me go, Paige. I don’t want...I don’t….” She struggled to get the words out. As much as she felt guilty for putting Paige through this whole ordeal, her pain outweighed that. The pain outweighed everything: her love for Paige, the children, even Phillip - as much as he misunderstood her. It outweighed her will to love.

Paige watched her flounder helplessly. She hated seeing Marina in so much turmoil. She didn’t want to say anything to make it worse. She just held her close and brushed her hair soothingly. “It’s alright. Let’s just get you warmed up first.”

“I can’t.” She whispered with the last ounce of energy before passing out in Paige’s arms. Paige looked down at her sadly for a moment before looking up at Miles. She shot him a sheepish look and gestured for help. Miles carried her in his arms easily while Paige just watched her with worry the whole walk back.

Once they reached Romney Hall’s foyer, she instructed Miles to send a telegram to Phillip informing him of Marina’s condition. She also called for their housekeeper, Mrs. Hurley. After she had gotten Mrs. Hurley to help her strip Marina of her drenched clothes, the older woman practically shoved Paige to her own room to change into dry clothes. She argued with her, refusing to leave Marina alone for even a moment.

“Go on, dear, I’ll be with her until you return.” Mrs. Hurley shooed Paige out of the room. She huffed and obliged. She dashed to her room to quickly change out of her own icy clothes.

She found one of her old dresses, it was a yellow floral one that Marina loved so much. Marina used to tell her that it brought out the golden flecks in her brown eyes. Paige never liked her brown haired-brown eyed look and found herself to be plain looking. It was only when Marina came along, she felt seen. Maybe being plain didn’t matter when someone loved you in spite of it. Hopeful the dress would stir up old memories, Paige stepped into Marina’s bedroom nervously. She said a silent prayer for her to be well. That the 7 minutes didn’t do that much damage.

Marina was sleeping soundly when Paige entered the room. She couldn’t help but smile at how at peace Marina looked. At that moment, she understood why Marina spent so much time hiding away and sleeping. This was probably the only place in the house that brought her peace. Sleeping brought her peace.

She had Miles check on the twins before she settled into staying by Marina’s side. She wanted to be there every step of her recovery. Then after, they could get her some real help. The twins were plenty occupied with their playtime for the day. While waiting for the doctor, Paige slipped into the bed by Marina’s side. She cradled her head against her chest and prayed. Even though she was a woman of science and was the type of Christian that only attended church during Christmas, praying was one comfort of her religion she allowed herself. She prayed for all her wishes for Marina. For her happiness, recovery...for the good times to hopefully return. As she wished, hoped and prayed, she found herself falling asleep.

When the night came and brought the doctor along with it, Paige woke with a start at the feverishly warm body beside her. The panic set in and the doctor did his best to soothe her. He coaxed her out of the bed so he could check on Marina. Paige was more than happy to oblige but stood hovering over the doctor’s shoulder the whole time.

When he diagnosed her with pneumonia, Paige’s heart sank. That was definitely going to finish the job Marina set out to do in the lake. He saw her expression and comforted her by saying she could very well recover. Essentially, it was a waiting game. Paige made peace with those odds, she would gladly take all the time in the world with her. She spent the rest of the night and the next three days nursing her. She dabbed wet cloth after cloth against her warm forehead. Made sure she had the fluffiest pillows and duvet. She specially had the cook make all of her favourite dishes to go with the broth Marina detested.

Paige wanted to tell her to fight but she didn’t want to push her. Instead she spent the last few days together, helping Marina remember the woman she once was and could be again. Paige wanted her to remember to fight for herself.

The morning after, she sat by Marina’s bedside and smiled tenderly at her.

“Do you remember our first season together?” She asked, her elbow propped against the mattress, her face resting on her palm.

Marina turned to her and looked straight into her eyes. For a moment, she was lucid. “Of course,” She said, coarsely. Paige smiled, that was the best response she had gotten from her in the last few months.

“Best and worst year of our lives, I’d reckon. I was so certain I finally had the courage to tell you how I felt. Only for me to find out you were besotted with George and was pregnant with his child!” She could chuckle about it now but she remembered feeling so awful.

Paige Crane has always known she was different in that aspect. None of the boys growing up ever caught her attention. When she became a woman, out during her first season, she couldn’t relate to the way other girls had talked about their suitors. Nothing about the male species ever stirred anything romantic within her. They were just really good friends to her. Women, on the other hand, gave her all the feelings the human emotional spectrum allowed. She wanted to love them and worship them forever. When she met Marina at Romney Hall for the first time smelling the rose bushes, it had confirmed everything she already knew. She loved women. A regular Anne Lister.

She spent a few years loving Marina until her father had sent her away to stay with her London cousins, The Featheringtons. When she heard Marina was moving, she immediately sought out her mother.

“I couldn’t bear to part with you so I convinced Mother to let me debut that season in the city.” She chuckled, recounting the lengths she went to be close to her.

“I’m glad you did.” Marina croaked, the water still hurting her lungs. Now that she felt like speaking to Paige, her body was failing her. She managed a small smile and slipped her hand into hers. She definitely remembered their first season together. It was the best time… til everything quickly went downhill with the news of George’s death, being pregnant with the twins and feeling so alone. Paige was the light in all of that darkness, she had helped pull her out of the loneliness.

Paige grinned back wildly. "I think that's the first full sentence I've heard you speak in the last few months." She nudged her teasingly.

"Oh hush." She attempted to be annoyed but started coughing violently. Paige immediately shot up.

"I'm going to fetch the doctor."

"I just need some water, darling." She coughed once more. Then took a deep breath and managed a smile to show she was fine, despite her exhaustion. Paige nodded and went to fetch her a glass.

As Marina watched Paige walk out the door, she thought back to how much everything had changed in the last 10 years. It only felt like yesterday they had debuted and Marina had tried to marry Colin Bridgerton. Oh, what a mess that was. She was so consumed by her love and grief for George, she missed what was right in front of her.

It took Marina a long time to realise it but she loved men and women the same. Paige was definitely the first woman to stir up romantic feelings within her. It also took her a while to realise loving Paige doesn't count the love she held for George. He would always be the father of her children. Paige was the love of her life.

She never expected to be like this. She always thought she would be a good mother, full of life and happy. Happy was such an overrated emotion, Marina thought bitterly. It's not something that happens, it's something you work for. You make happiness for yourself. She knew that all too well. She spent the better part of the last decade fighting off her grief and postpartum with no success.

Paige reminded her to take comfort in the good days. It was rather jarring to Martina how she was experiencing a somewhat good day after all these months. Especially the day right after she made an attempt on her life.

"Penny for your thoughts, darling?" Paige asked, handing over the glass. Marina gulp it down quickly and set the cup aside.

"Just...how we got here. I thought it would be…" she ponders over the word, "different."

"Hmm," Paige hummed, "You're telling me. We could have had quite the life if I was a man. I could have married you instead of Phillip." She wrinkled her nose. She really does love her brother, Lord only knows. And Paige is pretty sure it's a crime to hate your twin. But she absolutely despised the way Phillip treats Marina. Or rather not - he completely abandoned her in the last few years.

It's no secret that Phillip and Marina's marriage was one of convenience, security and protection for Marina. Of course, Romney Hall needed heirs and so two birds. But, he could at least pretend to care for her.

"I could have become a spinster like you. We could have been the two crazy spinsters that lived in Romney Hall together." Marina chuckled. Paige beamed at her. It had been so long since she had heard that wondrous laugh.

"I'm not a spinster!" She clasped Marina's hands in hers. "We may not be married on paper but I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I can't imagine...loving anyone else." Paige looked deep into her eyes. Marina shivered slightly. Her lover had a way of looking directly into your soul.

Paige knew what the doctor had said. That Marina could possibly recover but her gut was telling her something else. She was hit with the sudden realisation that she could lose her. The love of her life.

"Please fight this, Marina. I know you can. Look at today, it was a good day. You just need to survive the pneumonia and you can start over. We'll erase the last 7 years. Slowly but surely, we can manage your melancholy. You're so much more than it, my love. You know that. Your children deserve to know that."

Paige didn't realise how increasingly desperate she sounded until she began pleading with her. She found her face wet with fresh tears. Marina reached out to wipe the tears of her face.

"I'll try." She said quietly.

"That's all I ask, thank you. I love you, Marina." She leaned over to kiss her. Kissing her back, Marina sighed against her lips. "I love you too."

That night Marina lied awake, watching Paige's chest rise up and down. Marina smiled at her little snores. Just as she felt a glimmer of happiness laying beside her love, the guilt washed over her. She didn't want to promise anything. While today reminded her of the hope she felt to feel alive, deep down she knew it was temporary. She couldn't see herself living past tomorrow.

Sure enough, she was dead in two days.

****

[Read Part 2 Here]

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie