#title is from the Dear Evan Hansen song 'Only Us'

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

what if it's you, and what if it's me, and what if that's all that we need it to be

bruiseshipping exchange fic for @fancypersonaskeletonturtle! I hope you enjoy it, I managed to get all the prompts combined into this <3

@ninjago-drabbles

cross posted to ao3

~

Cole’s thoughts were all jumbled up as he and Jay hiked up the mountain. They’d finally gotten him back after so long, but Jay was amnesiac. He couldn’t remember anything from before the Merge. Nothing about his parents, or his time as a ninja, or their relationship together. That last one hurt the most. But that was why they were going up this mountain right now — maybe if Cole brought Jay to places they’d gone before, he would remember.

“It’s not much further,” Cole told Jay. They were about three-quarters of the way up, only half an hour or so before they reached the top. 

“O- okay,” Jay stumbled over his words. 

Cole should probably talk. He had been silent for most of the trip, not usually a problem when someone else was doing the talking, but Jay wasn’t as talkative anymore. It was like being in the Administration had stripped him of all his personality. “Um, the view up there is very nice,” he said awkwardly. “You can practically see all of the realms from there.” The view hadn’t always been like that — before the Merge it showed a lush forest. Now it showed a nonsensical mix of landscape that ranged from tundra all the way to desert. Cole had spent days trying to track down the mountain now that the world was so different.

“Even Imperium?” Jay cracked a dry smile. 

“Well, maybe not Imperium, but pretty much everywhere else,” Cole said sheepishly. He twisted the bracelet on his wrist, a habit he’d picked up while in the Land of Lost Things. 

“Must be nice.”

“It is.”

Reaching the top of the mountain, they really could see all the merged realms. Cole looked over at Jay, searching for any hint of recognition. He didn’t find any. 

Jay sniffled. “I… I don’t remember this,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Cole pushed down the pang of hurt he felt. It wasn’t completely unexpected for Jay not to remember this, and not fair of him to be upset about it when it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Nobody could have predicted Jay’s amnesia. “That’s alright. This place is pretty different from what it was before the Merge.”

“We can still stay for a while though, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

~

Getting back to the Monastery took another three hours. The trek to the mountain had taken quite a while, and climbing up took even longer. By the time they arrived home, Jay was ready to collapse on his bed and sleep. Of course, he used the term ‘home’ loosely. The Monastery was more home than the Administration, but he couldn’t remember any of it. Couldn’t remember any late movie nights that must have taken place, or training sessions, or even just goofing around with his friends. 

Jay knew that it must hurt everyone for him not to remember. Going to the mountain with Cole had been an incredible experience. He only wished he could remember the first time they went together.

Cole knocked on the open door, a nonverbal request to be let in. “Door’s open,” Jay said. 

“I brought a photo album,” Cole said quietly. He held up a bright blue monstrosity of a folder, decorated with stickers and glitter. “I thought maybe this could jog your memory?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jay patted the space next to him on the bed. Cole sat down and opened the folder. 

“I didn’t realise people still used those,” Jay joked. Anything to get rid of the awful mood that hung in the room.

Cole shrugged. “Probably not a lot, but Master Wu is — was old fashioned. And I think it’s more sentimental than a phone.”

“I guess,” Jay turned to look at the photos.

The first page of the book showed two handwritten notes. The first was obviously written by Cole. To Jay, it said. I love you more than words can express. Meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You mean the world to me and I love you more than what can be written on this paper.

The second seemed to be from Jay. He had no memory of writing it, of course he didn’t, but it seemed very heartfelt. I love you, Cole. You’re my best friend, my love, my soulmate, my ride-or-die. Cheers to a new beginning <3

Jay could feel Cole staring at him, begging wishing hoping for him to remember. Jay turned the page and looked at the photos pasted on it. There were several on this one: a selfie of them at some sort of cafe, holding up pastries and smiling; a picture someone else had taken of them curled up on the couch asleep; them covered in mud and dripping wet, with the caption ‘went fishing and failed.’ All sorts of memories that Jay desperately wanted to remember but couldn’t. Looking at these photos made him feel like a stranger peering into someone else’s life.

Jay’s gaze drifted to the next page. It showed similar pictures, of them making flower crowns and having lunch together and smiling and laughing and being happy. He stroked the one of them dancing a duet. The photo was dimly lit, and the resolution wasn’t great, but Jay could tell it was one of the best memories just from how happy they looked in it.

~

Cole looked at Jay and tried not to cry. He was showing no recognition of anything so far, but they weren’t even halfway through the book yet. Maybe something would click later on. He watched as Jay flipped through the pages. His heart stuttered when Jay touched the photo of them dancing a duet. Did he remember that one? To Cole, it was one of the most important moments in their relationship.

“So, first date?” Jay looked at Cole hopefully. He put on an award winning smile and held out his hand. “I have plans, if you want to.”

Cole laughed. “Haven’t we already gone on a date?” He teased. 

“Fighting evil together does not count!” Jay swatted Cole’s arm. “I was thinking more of a night out. Not for fighting the forces of darkness or anything, just us going to the club and having fun.”

“A club? You’ve found one that will let in two underage teenagers?”

“I have my ways,” Jay smirked. “Soo, do you want to, or no?”

“You already know the answer to that, Sparky.”

“Stop and let me live out the teenage romance movie, please?”

“Of course, my good sir.”

Jay smiled and tugged on Cole’s arm. “Our chariot awaits!” He pointed at the lightning jet — it had been given a makeover for the occasion, with fairy lights and fake candles scattered about. Even the windows were decorated with little heart stickers. 

“You did all this?” Cole looked at Jay in surprise. 

“Of course! It’s our first date and you expected no romantic lighting? The horror!” Jay faked fainting, draping an arm on his head and the other around his stomach.

“You’re such a dork.”

“It’s one of my best traits,” Jay said. “Get dressed and we’ll meet here in ten?”

“Sure.”

Getting to the club took only a few minutes. Jay had chosen a good place, and going by air meant the commute was even shorter. 

“Good sir,” Jay bowed and opened the door for Cole. He was especially striking that night, dressed in a navy blue suit. His hair had been gelled to the side, obviously with Kai’s hair products. 

Cole smiled. “Thank you,” he said as he stepped out. The entrance to the building was lit up in neon lights, blue and pink and red and green. 

Jay walked over and hooked his arm around Cole’s. “We’re gonna be the best dressed couple at the dance,” he joked. “Absolute ten-out-of-ten.”

“Oh?”

“Well, yeah! Or at least, you will. I mean, you’re stunning! Not that you’re not always stunning, but—“ 

Cole put a finger to Jay’s lips. “You look amazing as well, so shut up.”

“Tickets?” A gruff voice interrupted the moment. Cole looked up at the security guard. 

“Oh, yeah. Here,” Jay pulled out his phone and showed it to the guard. 

Whatever he had shown must have been satisfactory, because the guard grunted and let them in.

“Wow,” Cole breathed. The club was incredible and kind of overwhelming — bright disco lights bathing the room in colour, a snack bar with people crowded around, music blaring loudly.

“Yeah, that was my reaction too,” Jay grinned. 

A loud crashing sound from outside stopped Cole from answering. “— no, we’re here on official ninja business,” Kai’s voice said. Of course the others had followed them. 

Jay rolled his eyes fondly and grabbed Cole. “C’mon, let’s outrun them.”

“They’re such stalkers,” Cole agreed.

 They pushed through the crowd to the dance floor, where the chances of being found were slim. “A dance?” Jay held out his arm. “I’ve been practicing for weeks.”

Cole took his hand. “Good thing I can dance too, then,” he said. 

They slow danced like that for what felt like an eternity in the best way possible.

~

Cole snapped out of his memories to the sound of Jay turning the page. “This is all us?” Jay asked. His expression was strange — not exactly wistful, but it was something close. As if he didn’t quite understand the photos, but wished he could.

Cole cleared his throat. “Yeah, that album is just the two of us, but there are more that have the others.”

“There’s a lot in here,” Jay said softly. He gestured to the dozens of pages, all of which  held at least three photos each. 

“We knew each other for a long time,” Cole shrugged. “That’s like five years of photos.”

“Five years,” Jay said, like they were foreign words. 

“Five years,” Cole agreed. 

~

The next day, Cole brought Jay to the old coffee shop they used to frequent. The place hadn’t changed despite everything — even after the Merge, it was still painted the same shade of grey and the floor was still suspiciously sticky. The menu hadn’t gotten anything new added. The same display case showed the exact same pastries as five years ago. Even the cat looked the same, unkept orange fur and a confused expression. Everything about this place made it perfect for jogging Jay’s memory — the mountain was pretty different now, but old Mr. Chan’s coffee shop was exactly the same.

“This is Mr. Chan’s,” Cole said to Jay. “We used to come here all the time. It hasn’t changed a bit,” he chuckled. 

Jay still had that mildly confused, sorrowful expression on. “And we got… coffee? Here?”

“Yep,” Cole nodded. “Is anything familiar?”

Jay paused for a moment, seemingly considering it, and then shook his head. Any hope Cole had felt shattered.

“That’s alright,” Cole smiled. He hoped that Jay couldn’t still tell the difference between which of his smiles were genuine and which were forced. “You wanna order?”

“Sure.”

~

Jay stared down at his coffee. It was delicious — perfect amount of sugar and cream, and the coffee itself was amazing too. Cole sat across from him, drinking an abomination of sugar and caramel. How he could stand to drink that, Jay would never know.

Cole must have noticed him staring, because he looked up. “You enjoying it?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” Jay said.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

Jay shook his head and pretended not to notice Cole deflating at his response. He really wished that he could remember, could be the person that Cole clearly needed, but his brain was empty. Trying to think of anything from his past drew up a blank. He hadn’t even known the ninja’s names before they introduced themselves.

“It’s okay not to remember,” Cole said. “We’ve dealt with amnesia before.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Zane‘s gotten it a bunch of times. Nya too, and one time all of you collectively forgot me,” Cole laughed like he had told a funny joke.

“But has it ever taken this long to remember?”Jay clutched his takeout cup a little tighter. It had been five years since the Merge, which meant five years of no memory. At this point, was it even possible for Jay to remember? He still couldn’t recall his parents. Two people who must have raised and taken care of Jay, and he didn’t know their names.

“Zane was amnesiac for like sixty years.”

“Zane is a nindroid. I’m not,” Jay frowned. “Tell me, Cole. Is it possible for a human to remember after so long?”

Cole looked immensely uncomfortable with this conversation. “I’m not sure,” he finally said, “and I’m also not sure if we’re even human at this point. So…”

Jay sighed and got up. He couldn’t stay here anymore, not when he wasn’t the person Cole remembered. Cole needed support and care, not whatever Jay could provide. He was probably better off with Zane or Kai or literally anyone who wasn’t an imposter pretending to be his loved one. “I’m going back to the Monastery now,” he said.

Cole stood up as well and followed Jay out the door. “You can’t get back without driving,” he reminded him. “And I have the keys.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“C’mon, let’s go back,” Cole opened the car door and got in. It was a very awkward drive back to the Monastery.

~

Cole lay on his bed face down. He’d locked the door and closed all the windows, effectively shutting himself in darkness. The blackout curtains really were his best investment. 

Coffee had been a disaster. Not only had Jay been unable to remember, Cole had also succeeded in making him feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t Jay’s fault that he had amnesia, and Cole’s prying had made everything worse.

Ugh. Cole was probably the merged realms’ worst boyfriend. Did he and Jay still count as boyfriends? Probably not. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

“I’m an awful person,” Cole groaned into his pillow. Zane would chastise him for moping like this, but Zane didn’t get to judge Cole’s relationship issues, not with how much sulking he’d been doing in Pixal’s absence.

He stayed buried in his blankets for only a few more minutes before he got bored. Cole forced himself out of bed and looked at the photo album instead — he hadn’t bothered putting it back in its rightful place yesterday. He flipped through, stopping at the photo of him and Jay curled up on the couch asleep. Nya had taken that picture; she’d found them asleep in the living room and took the opportunity. Jay had printed it out when they were putting the album together. “I like it,” he’d said, “you look so peaceful in it.”

“Peaceful? I tackled you and sent us both crashing to the floor,” Cole raised an eyebrow.

“It was a bonding moment.”

Cole smiled at the memory. It was another moment he thought of fondly, though that didn’t really mean anything when he thought of all their time together like that.

~

Jay was gaming, entirely focused on the screen in front of him. He wasn’t paying attention to Cole, who sat next to him boredly.

“Ha! Take that, ya stupid turtle!” Jay cackled at the screen.

Cole jolted upright at Jay’s sudden burst of laughter. His boyfriend wouldn’t be done with the game for a while, likely not until he was forcibly dragged away. Problem was, Cole wanted Jay to be focusing on him. But it would also be a tough challenge to get him away from his beloved video games. Nothing short of physically tackling him would get his attention.

Hmmm.  That wasn’t a bad idea, actually. Cole positioned himself so that he could jump onto Jay with minimal injury. Jay was so absorbed in the game that he didn’t notice until Cole had slammed into him and they’d both ended up on the floor.

“Cole! What was that for?” Jay took a second to process before he spoke.

Cole tried not to smile. That would give him away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. 

“You— you liar!” Jay screamed hysterically. “You definitely know what I’m talking about!”

“Nope!” Cole grinned.

“You’re so clingy.”

“Don’t know what you mean by that, blabbermouth.”

Jay sighed and accepted his fate. “Fine, we’ll stay here tonight. But any sore muscles are your fault, okay?”

“More than okay.”

~

I should go talk to him, Cole thought.  He needed to talk to Jay, clear the air a bit. It had been even more awkward than usual since yesterday.

It hurt that Jay couldn’t remember anything, of course, but it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Just the universe screwing them over, like always. Their lives truly were one disaster after another.

Cole sighed and got up, making his way to the door. He rehearsed what he’d say to Jay over and over. Then he knocked on the door and waited for Jay to respond. 

~

A knock at the door had Jay crawling out of bed and coming face to face with Cole, both of them standing there awkwardly until Jay spoke.

“Um, come in?” He squeaked.

“We need to talk,” Cole said. He gave no indication that he’d heard Jay speak, instead sitting down on the bed and looking at Jay. His eyes made Jay think of those creepy porcelain dolls in antique shops — they stared right into your soul, pulling out all your secrets.

“Talk about what, exactly?”

Cole got a guilty look on his face. “That sounded a bit ominous, didn’t it,” he mumbled. “Sorry. I just wanted to say that. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, lately. It’s just that you’re my best friend. And I’m trying to make you remember, because of course I want you to, and I’m pretty sure you do too, but it isn’t fair of me to keep pushing to make you remember when you can’t, and it’s not your fault, and—“ Cole was crying now, streams of water coming from his eyes. “I just wanted to say that you mean so much to me, and that it’s not your fault that all this happened. I’m being unfair, pressuring you to remember like this. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“I want to remember,” Jay said softly. “I want to know all the inside jokes that we had, and all the memories of our first date or birthdays and all the other stuff. You mean a lot to me too, I swear. It’s just that I can’t remember anything, and that means I can’t be the person you need. I can’t support you when I don’t even know your favourite colour, much less how to help with all the other stuff.”

“It’s orange,” Cole said suddenly, turning to look at Jay. “My favourite colour is orange.”

“And you’re the black ninja?”

“It’s ironic, I know,” Cole laughed. “But in all seriousness, it’s okay for you not to remember. Just be yourself, I guess. You’re still the same person. And I’m not letting go of hope that you’ll get your memories back with time.”

Cole took Jay’s hand. “We should spend a day together, get to know each other again. Go for a walk in the Crossroads or something. It would be fun.”

“Yeah, it would be,” Jay smiled.

“Maybe tomorrow? You know, before the next world shattering crisis arrives?”

“I’d like that.”

[corroded-hellfire]

St. Valentine’s Day is upon us! In honor, I thought it would be fun to host an event for all my fellow writers. I’ve prepared a playlist of 30 songs all dealing with love—from the wonder of it to the heartbreak it can cause. I can’t wait to read what you come up with!

Rundown of the event:

❤️ Pick a song + a character

Choose from:

💜 Eddie Munson

💜 Steve Harrington

💜 Nancy Wheeler

💜 Robin Buckley

💜 Billy Hargrove

💜 Jonathan Byers

💜 Argyle

🩷 Write a blurb using that song as a prompt/guide. It could be the title, a lyric, the story it tells—whatever speaks to you

🩵 No more than 4k words

💚 Post it on or before February 14, tag @corroded-hellfire, and I will add it to a masterlist for the event

Feel free to message me with any questions!

The playlist is posted below

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

Silly Love Songs by Wings

What A Man Gotta Do by Jonas Brothers

Rewrite the Stars from The Greatest Showman

Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley

Just Give Me a Reason by Pink

Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen

Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen

Happier by Olivia Rodrigo

Glad You Came by The Wanted

I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick

Love Story by Taylor Swift

As Long As You're Mine from Wicked

Someone Like You by Adele

Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

Last Night by Morgan Wallen

I'll Cover You from Rent

I Want U Bad by R5

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

I've Just Seen a Face by The Beatles

Remember Me from Coco

Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel

Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez

You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette

When You Look Me in the Eyes by Jonas Brothers

Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You by Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons

Run Away With Me from The Mad Ones

Thinking of You by Katy Perry

Links to listen to songs can be found here! (Can’t guarantee the links will work outside of the US but you can certainly look up the songs on your own!)

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

It Wasn't Real (But We Were Happy)

First posted: June 6 2018

Focuses on: Tim Drake and the Fam

Favorite bookmark: "I was clutching my face for the last two chapters."

Second favorite bookmark: "Do you want to cry?"

Tier: Top five in hits and subscriptions, top ten in everything else

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above.

This is a multi-chapter series, so this thread will be reblogged with each chapter's thoughts added beneath the cut.

Chapter One

This is one of the rare fics where I can remember exactly what was happening when it sprang into being. Mostly. I was walking home on evening, post-rain, and skirting around puddles while texting with @starknjarvis27. I don't remember what started the conversation but suddenly I was knee-deep in emotions about Tim as The Replacement, Tim as Nanny McPhee ("When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go."), Tim as Mary Poppins (That's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye?" "No, they didn't.")

I don't think I started writing directly after that, though I may have. I do know I deliberately banked up the chapters and didn't post the first until they were all written. I was worried about losing steam and not finishing. Given how popular this fic is, maybe I should do that more often.

The title is from Dear Evan Hansen (it was 2018, give me a break), from the song "Words Fail," where the main character emotionally confesses the elaborate deception he had built, ensnaring the people he professed to love in a fantasy that he said was for them but really, in the end, was only for himself.

It was said that time was the great equalizer, but Tim didn’t know how that could be true. Time seemed to touch everyone differently, and everyone grappled with it in their own way.

As you've probably noticed, I do this kind of a lot. "It" being both a philosophical beginning and lining up each of the fam and examining what makes them different in certain ways. Both are a good way (for me, the writer, at least) to ease into a fic. Starting is hard.

Dick bobbed in its streams like a vacationer in a tube. He let it carry him along, neither struggling nor straining, but enjoying the ride wherever its path led. Jason floundered, striding through the water until his steps inevitably found the gap of his stolen life. He would lose his footing and plunge under, only to burst above the current with great, heaving breaths and push on determinedly once more.

Again with the water metaphors. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. I'll also add that this is, of course, Tim's perspective. He's not wrong, but Dick, for example, would likely have a nuanced take of his own relationship with time (that also would not necessarily being objectively right or wrong because perception is subjective, even of ourselves.)

A good many endings surprised him, horrified him, came whistling out at him like fists in the dark. 

I think I use this metaphor more than once in fics. Mentally I tie it to "A Knife in the Dark," the Bree chapter title in The Fellowship of the Ring and later the song title from the Howard Shore soundtrack for the same scene. The whole point is wildly different, but the mental association is there for me, whatcanyado.

But it was only their timing that caught him off guard, never their existence, like turning the crank on a silenced jack-in-the-box. Without the music, he could only guess when the pop and cackle would come, but he knew the lurch in his stomach was inevitable.

My sister was scared of jack-in-the-boxes as a kid/young adult, like Buddy the Elf, so I stole this from her and him.

Alfred would have noticed, had he been around, but timing his exodus to Alfred’s annual sabbatical in England had been Tim’s one act of true cowardice. Alfred would have noticed Tim’s abandonment of the Manor and would have lured him back in with calls or threatening visits from the others or the sheer guilt power of a raised eyebrow.

I think if I were a stronger or braver writer it would have been a good challenge to keep Alfred present rather than shooing him off to England like Superman to space.

No, the hardest task had been quitting the Titans. They didn’t need Tim any more than the Waynes did, but they wanted him. They were his friends. Tim couldn’t see any way to continue with the Titans, however.

Commenters speculated on the Titans showing up. I hope they weren't too disappointed when that didn't happen but I do not know those children at all. And they weren't the point, anyways. The point was Tim and his family.

[mikefaistinfo]

Interview: Mike Faist Tries to Keep His Cool as Riff in ‘West Side Story’

by: New York Times. Dec. 27, 2021

The actor, a star of Broadway musicals like “Dear Evan Hansen,” talks about playing the leader of the Jets in Steven Spielberg’s remake.

He’s the menacing gang leader who fights, frolics and finger-snaps his way through “West Side Story”: that’s Riff, the frontman of the Jets, who commands a cadre of lost boys in their turf battles against the Sharks, and takes center stage in numbers like “Jet Song” and “Cool.”

In Steven Spielberg’s remake with a screenplay by Tony Kushner, the role of Riff is played by Mike Faist, a 29-year-old veteran of the New York stage. Faist earned a Tony Award nomination in Broadway’s “Dear Evan Hansen,” where he originated the role of the title character’s would-be friend, Connor Murphy; he also performed in “Newsies the Musical,” understudying its hero, Jack Kelly.

Despite his theatrical pedigree, Faist said it was not so easy to keep calm and collected for this “West Side Story” — he did not necessarily think he had the required dancing skills and wasn’t sure of the project’s intentions.

As he explained in a recent video call, “I was nervous going into it, because of the Hollywood of it all. I thought it was maybe going to be this overproduced thing, and I was just going to be told what to do and where to stand and how to say it.” But, Faist said, Spielberg “allowed me the freedom, quite frankly, to run wild and to be liberated.”

Faist is garnering strong reviews for the performance and he is considered to be a contender for the coming awards season. He spoke further about the making of “West Side Story,” learning the choreography for “Cool” and being a leader to his Jets both onscreen and off. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

How did you find out that Steven Spielberg was planning a remake of “West Side Story”?

Tony Kushner came to see us Off Broadway at “Dear Evan Hansen” and mentioned it. At the time I just thought, well, that’s cool. Congratulations. Best of luck with that. That was six years ago. Casting wanted me to submit a tape and then another tape and then come into the room and dance. I didn’t really want to. I do remember asking specifically, “Do I have to dance?” And they said, “This is ‘West Side Story.’”

Hadn’t you danced on Broadway?

The only dance show that I’d really done in New York was “Newsies.” For the most part, really, I just pushed around sets. I danced as a kid and I like dancing at weddings, that’s fun. But I wouldn’t say that I speak the language.

As you started to audition for the film, could you see yourself as Riff?

Originally they asked if I could put a tape together for Tony. I sang “Maria” and I read a scene or two. Months later they called me in and said we’d like you to put together a tape for Riff. I got excited. But you can never invest too much. After reading for the part, there was just this energy and this realization that this shoe fits. And, oh crap. [Laughs.] Now I have to do it.

Once you had landed the role, did you talk with Kushner and Spielberg about how they envisioned Riff?

We talked about the relationship between Tony and Riff. Tony wants to be a different person, someone better than who he was. And it’s nearly impossible for Riff to let go of who Tony was for him. It’s like going home for Thanksgiving. “This is who I am.” And your family’s like, “No, you’re this.” That’s the simpler version of what I’m trying to say.

Were you also considered for the film adaptation of “Dear Evan Hansen”?

I was approached about being part of the film. But the truth is that for me, I just felt like I couldn’t do it. I had already given everything I could to that role and I had already left it at that point. I didn’t feel like I could do it justice. It was something that I really grappled with. I came to the realization that you can’t go home again.

Once you started work on “West Side Story,” where did you begin?

Early in the rehearsal process, it was just Ansel [Elgort, who plays Tony] and I and handful of Jets, and we started to work on “Cool.” There wasn’t a script yet, for that first month of rehearsals, so it was mostly for them to get Ansel and me into shape — learning this choreo, then explaining the story and the context of that number.

Did you film that sequence on a soundstage?

That was a set in Sunset Park in Brooklyn over the East River. One of the Jets, Harrison Coll, who’s in that number, his father had passed away recently. We had been rehearsing that number for four or five months at this point, and when we finally finished, on that last day of shooting, Harrison brought his dad’s ashes and we went to the East River right there. We actually sang “Jet Song” and Harrison said a little something and thanked his dad and then he released his dad’s ashes into the East River. It was something that was transcendent and we really valued the experience.

“Jet Song” is one of Riff’s iconic numbers. What did that mean to you, particularly as it’s depicted in this version of the film?

Where we start with the Jets, they are on the brink of destruction. They are done but they just don’t realize it yet. They’re saying, “When you’re a Jet, you stay a Jet” — on top of a mound of rubble.

Did you feel particularly bonded to the other actors who played your fellow Jets?

I felt it was my personal obligation that we become a tribe. After the first day of rehearsal, we all went out to the bar down the street. Sans Baby John [the young gang member, played by Patrick Higgins], because he’s not old enough. [Laughs.] And I said, “Look, this one’s ours. This is our story and this is our version. You guys are a part of that.” I handed out assignments; “Jet-tivities” is what I called them. And no matter what it was, we all had to do it. We did a whole bunch of shenanigans that summer.

Are there any you can safely discuss?

We went to upstate New York and bought a full arsenal of Nerf guns. There’s video of us setting up this relay race in a house, having to shoot all these red plastic Solo cups from different angles. We did LARPing. It’s brutal, man. It looks like something totally nerdy, but then you’re there and you’re getting tackled by someone and shot in the private areas by arrows. We played laser tag once. I wanted them to feel like they were a part of something bigger. That way, when the cameras rolled, they just were there.

Did you have the opportunity to confer with Russ Tamblyn, who played Riff in the original film?

He did come to set and hung out for a day. He told us anecdotes, what the experience was like for him. But in terms of approaching the work, I’m not Russ Tamblyn. Only Russ Tamblyn is Russ Tamblyn. I can’t try to emulate or mimic what he does. And I didn’t want to. I think it would have done a disservice to try to incorporate him. It would have been an insult to what he brought.

The new film’s release was delayed by a year because of the pandemic. How did you feel when you learned it was being postponed?

I actually was relieved. Steven and I had a phone conversation last year, around September, when they were deciding whether they were going to release the film. At the time, I said to him, if no one ever saw this movie, it wouldn’t change anything to me. The experience of making the movie was everything. I meant it, but I’m an idiot and I take it all back now. Because if we’re going to show it, you want people to see it. After I had seen the film at the New York premiere, I ran into Steven in the lobby. And I said to him, I got to relive the experience of making the movie. I think when people see this, we give them a taste of that. I think this movie is a real testament to why a theatrical experience is important.

Interview by: Dave Itzkoff

Find here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/27/movies/mike-faist-west-side-story-riff.html

[popchoc]

1, 17, 19 puhleaseeee <3

1. a song you like with a color in the title

Azul by Edson e Hudson. Fun fact: I already knew of two versions (Dutch and Spanish) before I heard this one, but this became my favorite straight away. Love the energy!

17. a song that you would sing a duet with on karaoke

I can't sing at all, but if I'd find myself in one of those private room kinda karaoke bars, I might lose myself a little "singing" my parts of Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen. (Ooh, or Take Me or Leave Me from Rent... shit, don't start me thinking musicals, I can go on forever! lol)

19. a song that makes you think about life

Ain't Got No, I Got Life by Nina Simone. Sometimes it's just that simple.

[frankchurchillsaysrelax]

here you go nonnie. sorry it took awhile hopefully you’re still around. this was fun, i’d forgotten what songs a few of these came from. these are just the fics with titles from songs like you asked. full masterlist which is sorted by fandom can be found here and my ao3 is here.

and it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine // if you’re determined to leave girl I will not stand in your way - always need my baby by david cook

if you knew how happy you are making me - feels like home by chantal kreviazuk

if only new york wasn’t so far away - already home by a great big world

it’s destiny that you’re next to me, i’m in love with you - sun comes up by john legend

we got a candy apple red sweet steady as a heartbeat love - we got a love from nashville

maybe if i don’t cry i won’t feel anymore - stone cold by demi lovato

when nothing you do can change my mind - that's when i love you by aslyn

months and months of back and forth - clean by taylor swift

this was the very first page not where the story line ends - enchanted by taylor swift

leaving these broken pieces behind you - requiem from dear evan hansen

oh, if the right one came along - i've got this friend by the civil wars

fifteen there’s still time for you - 100 years by five for fighting

even when my body blows away my soul will stay - home by ingrid michaelson

open your eyes then you will see - only by imagine dragons

still got a lot of soul underneath my skin - is that who i am from nashville

wherever you’re going i’m going your way - moon river by audrey hepburn

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire // chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons // one single thread of gold tied me to you - invisible string by taylor swift

would you give me your self or turn and run - every letter from cyrano

i might lose everything if i lose the pain - overcome from cyrano

why you can’t raise your voice to say - run by snow patrol

with the beast inside there’s nowhere we can hide (one) // with the beast inside there’s nowhere we can hide (two) - demons by imagine dragons

build a bridge to my heart and lead the way (one) // build a bridge to my heart and lead the way (two) - can't love me by novi feat. tyler blackburn

i’m a rusty set of strings that i keep windin’ (one) // i’m a rusty set of strings that i keep windin’ (two) - broken song from nashville

flash forward and we're taking on the world together - mine by taylor swift

when all those shadows almost killed your light - safe & sound by taylor swift feat. joy williams and john paul white

i’m on the bench, but coach just put me in the game - say my name from beetlejuice

took ‘em down but they’re still in their frames - never not by lauv

catastrophe it reigns (one) // catastrophe it reigns (two) - hold you in my arms by ray lamontagne

is your mouth a little weak - my funny valentine from babes in arms

the signal’s got speed but there’s no real connection - i heard your voice in a dream from smash

and every color illuminates - spectrum by florence and the machine

let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time) (one) // let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time) (two) - when we were young by adele

a heart is drawn around your name in someone's handwriting, not mine - all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift

didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin' - i want you to want me by cheap trick

it is the only thing makes us feel alive - photograph by ed sheeran

sink me in the river at dawn - if i die young by the band perry

like a heart without a beat, like a beat without a song - where would i be without you by kendall k

grab your soul, won't let go, and be with you when you're wide awake - dreams from nashville

let me tell you about the call that changed my destiny - the call by the backstreet boys

taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me - come back...be here by taylor swift

your eyes can close you don't have to do a thing but listen to me sing - orpheus by sara bareilles

[blutopaz15]

rayllum valentine’s week!

Day Four: Romantic Mishap

Fic: Nerves 

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary: After they arrive at the Storm Spire, Callum knows that Rayla's feeling down, so he puts together a special evening for the two of them.

Rayla couldn’t quite put her finger on whatever it was that was going on, but she was positive that the boys were up to something. 

When Ibis had shown them around the Spire earlier, Rayla had been vaguely aware of Callum talking in hushed tones with Ezran up ahead, but she’d thought nothing of it at first. They’d probably never spent more than a day or so apart before, she figured, and she was sure that they had plenty of catching up to do, what with newfound “things” and kingly duties to be discussed. So, she’d shuffled behind, preoccupied instead with letting her fingers trail along the cold stone walls and wondering gloomily if her parents had ever done the same. 

She’d first perked up a little when she heard her name, unmistakably echoing back to her through the boys’ scramble of otherwise unintelligible whispers. 

That alone, though, hadn’t been enough to make her suspect that anything was amiss. In fact, she’d pretty much been expecting to be a topic of their conversation. If she knew anything about Ezran, it was that he’d almost certainly want to know how she was doing after she’d run off like that earlier, and, even if she couldn’t catch what they were actually saying, she’d know Callum’s concerned tone anywhere. She was sure that meant he was telling his brother what she’d said about her parents. She didn’t mind. It was almost a relief, actually, when Ez looked back at her with those big, blue, sympathetic eyes of his.

The way that Ez kept looking over his shoulder at her, though, and the way that Callum kept turning him back around...that had been suspicious. Especially because, after a few glances, Ezran had started grinning in her direction and Callum had started glaring at him in return before turning him around again.

Continue Reading on AO3

[eury--dice]

oooh the ellison theater and/or friendship for the ask game?

OOOOH ELLE you are letting me talk about one of wips that will unfortunately probably never get completed/published but is SO near and dear to my heart. the ellison theater is an au I dreamed up...two years ago at this point? where our beloved cast of deh characters are working in a small blackbox theater in New York in the process of putting on a new original musical titled on the fall. I found the idea of evan struggling so much with most public speaking and performance but just having mt/theater in his veins so captivating, and I thought exploring the idea of him writing and performing in this musical would be very fun. and it very much is! as I said, this is very near and dear to my heart. zoe’s the pov character, as someone who’s on the verge of a breakout role and broadway career but turns it down to work with the ellison crew instead. various zoevan and theater shenanigans ensue. (fun fact: I wrote a whole plot for the musical as well, and mocked up some lyrics for the songs. I have a blast with this fic, truly.) I'm posting...much more than a snippet because, as I've said, I probably won’t post it but I do truly enjoy and love it. thank you Elle <3

Something about the Ellison reminds her of home.

She’s barely set foot into the building that’s nestled on the corner of a block when nostalgia sweeps over her. It’s a feeling she gets every time she enters a theater, no matter how many she’s been in. There’s a kind of magic in each one, no matter what type of theater it is - the knowledge that, within these walls, there’s the possibility for change and growth and transportation to somewhere far away. But this theater strikes her differently than most do. With a building career, the majority of performance spaces she’s seen since graduating are bigger, swankier, dripping with New York theater elitism. She’d nearly forgotten what thrill black box theaters hold, the intimacy of their darkened walls and cramped seats.

The house begins immediately as she steps through the doors with a small area she assumes is reserved for standing room and a small hallway off the side with a bathroom sign hanging in the entrance. The seats branch off diagonally to accommodate the elevated, triangular stage in lieu of the normal black box even-floor stage or raised seating. The front row is so close to the stage that they’d probably be able to reach forward and rest their palms flat against the black-painted stage. The house lights are only half on, leaving Zoe squinting through the dim air and to the stage, where only a few blue gel lights illuminate anything. They leave the whole theater bathed in a faint blue glow and catch on the bowed head of someone sitting in the front row.

It’s all perfectly homey, but she knows she shouldn’t get too attached too soon. Instead, she scuffs the toe of her converse sneaker into the carpeted ground for a moment before turning her attention to the man in the front row. Zoe sees him more clearly as she nears the front of the theater. The spillage from the stage lights cast all of him in a blue shine. The blue nestles in between the strands of his close-cut, tiny curls, and slides along with his hands over a pencil and something that looks like a script.

“Evan Hansen?” she says three rows back, still standing in the center aisle. He visibly startles, the pencil slipping from his grasp and hitting the pages with a tiny thud. Twisting so as to look at her, he hurriedly removes a pair of glasses she hadn’t been able to see before. His eyes find hers, deep brown and gentle like a night sky, before they break away.

“Yeah, yep, Evan. Hansen. That’s me.” He stands while dumping a pile of papers onto the seat next to himself, the motion rushed. Evan swipes his hands over his jeans and then holds his arms by his sides as though he’s grown used to constantly carrying something and is not used to the free space. “Zoe Murphy?”

She slants a smile in his direction. “That’d be me.”

Normally, she’d be much more articulate and particular with her word choice. She’d also be wearing something other than a doodled-on pair of jeans and a t-shirt she got from Forever 21 for four dollars. But it’s been clear to her from the moment she walked into the Ellison - and from when Jared texted her about the part - that this would be nothing like a normal audition. And last-minute meetings don’t really lend themselves to impeccable outfits.

“Great, great, of course,” he says. His hands haven’t stopped moving since she disrupted him. They flit around the hem of his shirt as though looking for something to do. He reaches down to the stack of papers and rummages for a minute, seemingly searching for conversational words among the pages as well. He finds the words more quickly than whatever papers he searches for. “Um, I'm sorry this is on such short notice, well I know we had some communication before today but all the same quite last minute and-” he breaks off as he finally gathers the pages together, glancing towards a clock on the far wall. To himself, he mutters “Jared was supposed to be here by now.”

“It’s alright,” she replies, holding her hand out for the papers. Evan relinquishes them immediately, closing the gap between their outstretched arms and hands with a tiny step. “I’m used to Jared’s tardiness, I know it’s not you. I can wait if you’d prefer.”

“No,” he says, seeming to surprise himself with the word. “No, I mean. I’m sorry, we can absolutely wait for Jared to turn up if that’s more comfortable for you but it’s not, uh, necessary?” His voice lilts upwards at the last moment as though in question, and Zoe can’t help but think that it’s a nice sound.

“Sure,” she says. “I’m comfortable to start whenever.”

“Great,” he repeats. “Uh, that’s the scene-” he gestures to the papers in her hands “-and you can look over it if you’d like a refresher from what Jared sent earlier today. If you could just,” he cuts off, angling his head towards the stage and sinking back into his previous seat. She nods, flipping the pages over and skimming them as she walks. After scaling the short stairs along the side of the stage, she crosses to center, right in front of where Evan sits.

“So,” he continues after a pause. “You’re reading for the role of Alice - as I assume you know, of course.”

The corners of her lips quirk, but she doubts he sees. He’s bent back over his papers.

“I know this was extremely last minute, so you may not have prepared a song - and you also play guitar?”

She’s barely taken aback by the non sequitur. “Yes, although I don’t have one with me currently - I was walking from a shift, actually. I can sing a capella, although I didn’t prepare specifically for this audition.”

“No, of course. I know we have a guitar around here, probably in the back - there’s really not a pit, or any kind of music room, so we’re tight on space for instruments. What song were you...”

“Vanilla Ice Cream?”

He raises an eyebrow, but it seems more friendly than skeptical. “She Loves Me. A classic. Go ahead, whenever you’re ready.”

She has to hum through the refrain before she can begin. The acoustics in the theater are different from what she’s used to - not bad, not bad at all. But a little more naturally amplified and bouncy than she had been expecting. Zoe has this song down to a T, however. It was the first song she’d ever learned how to play with space on a stage with, something she’s grown more adept at as years pass. She knows that her 24-year-old version is quite different from her version more than ten years previously, but all the same, she can comfortably perform it in a completely new space.

Evan’s probably seen it in auditions a thousand times, of course, but he seems properly engaged, laughing at the right moments and smiling as she holds the high note towards the end.

“Fantastic,” he mutters, noting something on a fresh blank page in front of him.

“I suppose you’ll have to take me at my word for the guitar, though.”

“And Jared.”

“Of course. And the ever-elusive Jared.”

They lock eyes for half a second in the dim theater, eyes filled with amusement over a mutual friend although they’re strangers to each other. Evan clears his throat and looks back towards his notes.

“Right, sorry about him. If you’re ready, we could move on to…”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” Zoe says, retrieving her script from the edge of the stage, a previously uncharted sensation in the pit of her stomach.

[fayewoodss]

I hate the Dear Evan Hansen movie already.

I know we don’t have a lot to go off of, but the casting and several mentioned changes are enough to question the intentions of Pasek and Paul and the other producers, writers, and directors involved.

Of course Pasek and Paul aren’t the main heads of this project, but considering their past successes with La La Land and The Greatest Showman and even an Oscar nod(s), it feels like they’re trying to create a new Oscar worthy blockbuster that fits the norms of mainstream media more than the needs of the audience and the integrity of the story.

So, let’s talk about the cast.

Ben Platt. Too old. I’m sorry, but he’s beyond playing a high schooler and compared to the rest of the cast, he’s just not a convincing teenager. 

Amy Adams. Incredibly talented both in acting and singing. She has a wide array of titles, more recently working in drama and thriller. She is too cool to play Cynthia. She would, however, be great as Heidi.

Amandla Stenberg. The It-Girl. She is amazingly talented, but why does Hollywood result to only ever booking specific young Black actresses? Zendaya and Amandla are always the first to be chosen for a “racially diverse” female character.

Kaitlyn Dever. No thoughts. I haven’t seen Booksmart. Just seems like another It-Girl choice with the success of that movie.

Nik Dodani and Colton Ryan are the only ones I am looking forward to. Nik will be a great Jared and it’s wonderful we have a POC in that role. Colton will be a fantastic Connor and hopefully this will boost his career more as he was just kind of an “understudy” on Broadway and most DEH fans ignored him. (Also, Kleinphy rights, lmao.)

Now, let’s talk about Danny Pino...

I won’t be commenting on him as an actor, rather I will talk about a rather big change to the role of Larry Murphy.

Larry Murphy is now Connor and Zoe’s stepfather.

This may seem small, but it’s a change that entirely changes the dynamic of Larry with the Murphy family, especially Larry and Connor’s relationship.

Larry and Connor’s relationship is often overlooked because a lot of the fandom tends to ignore or vilify Larry. He’s the tired father that doesn’t understand the changes in his life, so he approaches them with anger and frustration. He watches his own son spiral into a severe depression and eventually take his life. The whole time, he was just as lost as Connor, not knowing what to do for his son and only ever using discipline to handle him. He comes off cold and stoic, but eventually breaks from the reality of his loss.

A stepfather can absolutely have this relationship with his stepson, however it automatically changes the dynamic of Larry and Connor. Considering how Hollywood handles mixed families, Larry being Connor’s stepfather is no doubt going to turn into a case of “Ergh! I hate my stepfather!”

On top of that, while Evan and Connor are reflections of each other, their families are supposed to differ in dynamic with the Murphys being a traditional “Nuclear Family” that appear perfect to everyone outside of them, while Evan’s family is broken and estranged. Connor feels isolated because he feel he doesn’t fit the forced perfection of his family. Evan feels isolated because he feels he’s invisible to his own parents. Larry now being the stepfather destroys that contrast and erases the very important difference in Evan and Connor’s lives as highlighted in songs like “To Break in a Glove” and “Words Fail.” Evan wants to be a part of a family that hasn’t been torn apart at one point.

We also need to look into the intention of changing Larry to the stepfather. The article breaking the news boasted of Dear Evan Hansen’s diverse cast. Not a bad thing at all and something I look forward to, but right off the bat it comes across as “we’re rewriting this character for the sake of diversity rather than the integrity of the story.”

Why does Larry need to be rewritten as a stepfather to accommodate a white passing Latino actor when they could have casted Latinx actors for Connor and Zoe and made the Murphy family biracial?

Why are the only POC cast members always the side characters in the plot?

Pasek and Paul do not have the best history of diversity in either their movies or their musicals, so this casting and rewriting of the story just feels like pandering. You can have a diverse cast without having to jump through hoops rewriting the story and the characters.

Yes, this character is Larry Murphy.

But he’s not Larry Murphy.

Changing Larry Murphy to a stepfather automatically changes his character. It changes his agency, his motives, his personality. He will not be the Larry we know from the musical or the book no matter how close they write him because now he just the stepfather. Just as the characters from Be More Chill were changed from the book to the musical, their motives, personalities, identities, looks, and so much more changed with them. Changing one important aspect of the character changes the whole character even if they share the same name.

Overall, this entire cast feels thrown together. All of these actors have differing background and catalogs of work. While it is important to break from typecasting and to branch out with actors and actor dynamics, this lineup feels like a hastily thrown together mix of A-Listers, It-Girls, TV actors, comedians, Broadway stars. You have a modern day Hollywood starlet, a cop show veteran, two recently popular It-Girls, a comedian, an understudy, and a Broadway household name all put together in a Hollywood musical.

The entire thing feels like it’s trying to be more of a teen “Coming of Age” blockbuster rather than a show about mental illness that is heartbreaking, both down to earth and anxiety inducing, and incredibly complex in nature.

I wish the casting directors and producers would have expanded their talent search and rather compiled this project with a softer and more under the radar approach, focusing on revising the story rather than changing it, casting upcoming and not yet established young actors, and not trying to push this seeming narrative of appealing to mainstream and “Academy” audiences.

Giving Dear Evan Hansen an extreme Hollywood A-List makeover only seems to take away from the rawness and the realness of the story.

So, think about it.

Are they going to do what is best for the story, or are they just cashing in on big names and pandering to mainstream audiences who just want another quirky teen movie?

[locke-writes]

Cut Me Loose

Author: locke-writes

Title: Cut Me Loose

Song: Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen OBC, Erik Lehnsherr For: Anon

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,206

Tag List: @moonlit-imagines​ / ask to be added

At one point in time you could have seen yourself spending the rest of your life with Erik. At one point in time all you needed was for him to be happy and to be happy with him. At one point in time you had believed it was to be you and he for the rest of time, or as long as your life would allow it. At one point in time you would have loved him forever. Yet no longer could you claim to feel that way. Love had existed in your life, love towards Erik, now all you felt when you thought of him was anger and resentment.

You knew you could have gone with him that day, knew you could have abandoned everything and everyone to leave with him. What would have happened after that you couldn't have imagined? Would you really had been happy or would there be guilt lingering? Questions that often lingered in your mind surrounded by the idea that you could have been with him, could have potentially been happy. All you had to do was suspend your beliefs for a moment, or many moments.

Suspension of belief wasn't worth happiness in your mind. You knew you would be with him through all of time and be witness to his plans, all plans you did not want to come to fruition. While you understood where he was coming from, while you understood what he had in mind for the future of mutants, you couldn't abide by it. You couldn't stand by simply because he wanted a mutant only world, you couldn't imagine how that would come about with any sort of peace. Maybe the beliefs held by Charles were no better but surely there was a middle ground between them.

Erik knew that day on the beach that you wouldn't go with him. He'd known you wouldn't be leaving with him before your decision was even made. You knew yourself better than he knew you but he knew your ideals well enough to be prepared for an inevitable end. He'd always love you, he knew that there was no ridding you from his heart, that he couldn't ever rid you from his heart no matter how hard he tried and he wouldn't want to try in the first place. You had given him a sense of hope and comfort that he would always carry with him even if he no longer could count on you at his side.

In one instant he was gone, never to be seen again. At least you'd thought you'd never see him again, you thought as the months passed, as the years passed that he would be gone from your life forever. Occasionally there he was on the news but that didn't count as seeing him again, he wasn't there in person, he wasn't intent on having a conversation with you. Erik hadn't reached out, hadn't called or written a letter, you thought the split was a permanent one, thought that time and beliefs would keep you apart.

You'd thought all of these things only for him to appear on your doorstep in the middle of the night asking for a place to stay.

Erik only asked for a place to stay, a bed or a couch to sleep in, and that was the only conversation that you'd had with him that night. There was so much that you wanted to say, so much that could have been brought forth and laid to rest but it was late and it wasn't the time to dig deep into the past. You'd wondered how he knew where you lived as you were no longer keeping a room at the school and instead owned a small house outside the nearest major city, it was quiet and people didn't ask too many questions about your being a mutant.

He was there, he was there in your home and sleeping in your guest bed and everything that you had been holding on to was coming to a boil. Night passed into dawn and you couldn't sleep but apparently neither could he as you made your way to the living room finding Erik flipping through a book he'd grabbed from your shelves.

"Thank you for letting me stay" Erik spoke, shutting the book to turn to you.

"You're welcome. Although I wonder what you would have done had I refused."

"I know you well enough that I knew what your answer would be. That's why I came here instead of visiting Charles"

"I think you knew me once, I think it's been enough time that you don't know me any more."

He laughed at your response, "I could say the same about myself but I'm sure you would prove that untrue. I know that you want to believe you've changed but there's been no change with you other than your address"

"Why did you even come here in the first place, what trouble did you find yourself in?"

"What makes you think I'm in trouble"

"It's you Erik. Nothing you've ever done hasn't gotten you in trouble"

"There's nothing you need to worry about."

You were becoming upset at his avoidance, "You've brought whatever trouble it is here to me, I think that I need to worry about it! This is my home and I had peace here once but if some agency is going to knock that door down in five minutes I think I should know!"

"And I'm telling you that it's nothing you need to worry about, let's leave it be"

"Fine. How long are you thinking of staying?"

"You're acting like I'm intruding on your life"

"You're acting like nothing's changed between us"

"Has something?"

"Yes! Time has passed Erik, you and I aren't the same people we were back then, I'm not the same person I was back then!"

"Are you saying that you'd join me now?"

"Are you so full of yourself that you think that's what I meant? My thought on that subject haven't changed, nor have my feelings for you before you even ask. But I've grown to learn that you won't change, that you'll do whatever it takes to get your way and that's something I can't give into."

"And it's something I gave into? I never gave into anything, this is how it should be, how it needs to be! Of all people you should know what it's like, you should understand what I'm, what we, are trying to do. I want what is best for all mutants not only myself."

"What's best for mutants doesn't mean starting some war against the humans"

"And does it entail some sort of laws, some sort of registry? What would your solution be because as far as I'm concerned there isn't a way other than war."

"I'm glad you have people that feel the same as you do." You stated, leaving it simply and not wanting to carry the argument out any longer knowing you'd keep running around in circles.

He nodded, "I'll be out of here in an hour."

"I hope you know that I'll care about you Erik, that's not going to change, but what we had can't ever happen again."

[english-professor-wraith]

@and-claudias-world thanks for the tag but I have so many letters in my username 😭

Rules: Starting a new post, spell out your username using the titles of songs in your music library, then tag some mutuals.

Most of these are pulled from my hyperfixation playlist

E-Eleanor Rigby (Cody Fry)

N-No Control (One Direction)

G-Greased Lightning (from Grease)

L-The Long Song (from Doctor Who)

I-I Hear a Symphony (Cody Fry)

S-Shake it Off (from Sing)

H-Honeybee (Steam Powered Giraffe)

P-Photograph (Cody Fry)

R-Rest in Peace (from Buffy)

O- Out There (from Hunchback of Notre Dame [Broadway])

F-The Family Madrigal (from Encanto)

E-Experience (Ludovico Einaudi)

S-She Used to be Mine (from Waitress)

S-Surface Pressure (from Encanto)

O-Only Us (from Dear Evan Hansen

R-Revenge is Gonna be Mine (from Once)

M- Magic Dance (David Bowie, from Labyrinth)

U-Underground (Cody Fry)

M-My Petersburg (from Anastasia [Broadway])

@lizartgurl @fanmak @jaayybirdd @country-nerd03 @violatiger8 if y’all want, have fun

[artofdying1970]

music tag time :)

thank you for the tag fiona @odearjohn mwah

Who was your first favourite artist? katy perry 100%!! i remember me and my cousin would watch her music videos on her ipad when we were around seven :)

Who are your current favourite artists? phoebe bridgers, mitski, taylor swift and simon & garfunkel ! and the beatles .. i guess 🙄

Are you into musicals? Which ones?/Why not? not really. back in 2016-2017 i was your stereotypical Theatre Kid that liked hamilton, heathers, dear evan hansen etc etc all of those with notoriously bad fandoms lol. i guess it was really cathartic for me because i haven't bothered getting into musicals again, but i'm open for suggestions !! :)

Are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? i think 'a burning hill' by mitski is such an intimate and fragile song for me that makes it hard for me to listen to it whenever. i have to be in a certain headspace if that makes any sense LOL

What's your preferred way of listening to music? (time of day, medium, situation) while i do homework ! but the music i like just makes me want to get up and sing at the top of my lungs so sometimes i have to stop lol

What would you say is the most niche music you listen to? this band/duo/thing called girlpool ! they haven't dropped anything since last year but i'm holding out for a new album soon :) i don't think their stuff is for everyone, especially their earlier projects (the delivery on their vocals and harmonies can be kind of annoying) but i think you should check them out if you like the sort of music they play in indie coming-of-age films where nothing happens lol

What's your favourite music related movie/TV show that's not a musical? almost famous !

Albums or playlists? both ! but tbh i tend to lean towards the first. most of the playlists i have up on my profile i don't actually like use? they're mostly just for show i don't trust myself to know what songs go well together lol. but sometimes listening to an album on loop can be quite boring if it has a Very Cohesive Sound so i'll put something on shuffle

Favourite albums? revolver (1966), bookends (1968), the idler wheel... (2012), bury me at makeout creek (2014), be the cowboy (2018), punisher (2020)

Is there an artist you're trying to get into? frank ocean ! would appreciate some song recs/albums to start :)

Whose music do you find overhyped? hngnghh ed sheeran ik it's trendy to hate on him nowadays so it's not really an unpopular opinion but i just. Don't See The Appeal

What's an underrated song? remember my name by mitski .. stream <3

What's a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? i don't know any like. music terms but i love love love it when a song starts out relatively calmly and it slowly builds up until it reaches a MASSIVE climax it makes go !!!! (ex. i know the end, bridge over the trouble water etc etc)

What song is better acoustic? does while my guitar gently weeps count?? the album version is obviously iconic but the demo version hits a little harder idk

What's the worst song of all time? achy breaky heart

Do you put individual songs on repeat? If so, for how long and how often? i do it pretty often! mostly for about an hour or so, more if i really like it. i really should stop because i'm going to make myself hate a song i really like (semi-related story: my friend and i were obsessed with 'hard times' by paramore back in eight grade and i played it so much it's STILL my most streamed song of all time accordijg to my spotify stats even though i haven't listened to it in like a year. yeah)

Do you make your own playlists? If so, what's your most entertaining playlist title? i do, but they don't really have fun titles or anything. they're mostly from poems or song lyrics that fit the theme :/ pretentious much ?

Headphones or earbuds? not opposed to either ! but you can't go wrong with the classic wired girlies :^)

Do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? If you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? i do a mixture of both . it's a bit of a mess ☹

A music confession jack antonoff isn't that bad of a producer imo. he has a really inconsistent output but that doesn't necessarily mean he ruins everything his production touches :* (this year has been rough for him though lol like chemicals over the country club + solar power were both So underwhelming) i will admit that yeah. he tends to recycle stuff quite a bit lol

tagging the besties (no pressure obviously !!) @mithranqueer @belldog @aerialballet1968 @runofthemilldemo :)

[foxesandmagic]

Tagged by the wonderful @crystal0wls, thank you. I’ve done one of these recently, so I’m going to do this one with musicals songs as far as I can, to change things up a little. I hope that’s okay. 

Rules: Make a new post and spell out your URL with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL.

Feed Me (Git It!) from Little Shop of Horrors

Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen

Xanadu from Xanadu

Everything to Win from Anastasia

Since U Been Gone from & Juliet

Aaron Burr, Sir from Hamilton

Nothing Changes from Hadestown

Dancing Through Life from Wicked

Marry For Love from Cinderella

Ah, Miss from Sweeney Todd

Get Down from SiX

I Feel Pretty from West Side Story

Candy Store from Heathers

...

Tag List (if you want to be added, or removed, from this or any other list just let me know): @ocfairygodmother, @randomfandomingwrites, @fiercefray, @randomestfandoms-ocs,  @heresthefanfiction, @kendelias, @heirsoflilith, @lamborghiniboyo, @missemmalie, @noratilney, @hiddenqveendom, @fanficanatic-tw.

[bardofheartdive]

5 Songs You’ve Been Listening To

I was tagged by @ghostxofxartemis - thank you, friend! I will tag @ronqueesha, @alyssalenko, @pigeontheoneandonly, @cdrkateshepard, and @natsora, only if you want to play, of couse!

1) In Your Eyes, cover by Sara Bareilles: Glad to know I’m in the excellent company of @mallaidhsomo, who included Boyce Avenue’s version on her list. This cover is my version of choice.

“When I want to run away I drive off in my car But whichever way I go I come back to the place you are”

2) Lost, by Maroon 5: This one gives me BIG feels for Donovan and Theo, and not just because of the band. Plus, the rhythms and the use of space is so interesting to me.

“Lost, I was lost, I was lost til you loved me Now I’m found, now I’m found, now I’m found Yeah, you too me to a place It was safe, it was sound (sound... sound...) Lost, I was lost, now I’m found”

3) Anybody Have A Map? from Dear Evan Hansen: Technically not FROM Dear Evan Hansen, as in the soundtrack, but an awesome arrangement by Alex Lacamoire, featuring four actresses who played the moms.

“Another masterful attempt ends with disaster Pour another cup of coffee and watch it all crash and burn It's a puzzle, it's a maze I tried to steer through it a million ways But each day's another wrong turn”

4) Hold My Heart by Sara Bareilles: Sara Bareilles is one of my favorite artists and at any point in time one of her songs would be on my list. This is the one holding the title for the moment.

Does anybody know How to hold my heart? How to hold my heart? ‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go too soon

5) Be More Kind by Frank Turner: I love the message of this song and it’s kind of a goal for myself, I guess? I try to use it as a mantra.

But when you’re out there floundering Like a lighthouse I will shine Be more kind, my friends Try to be more kind Like a beacon reaching out To you and yours from me and mine Be more kind, my friends Try to be more kind In a world that has decided That it’s going to lose its mind Be more kind, my friends Try to be more kind

[tommysparker]

Movie Night: Hush (Baby Boy)

Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: So because everyone seemed to enjoy Movie Night so much, I decided to make a little series of unrelated events that happen during movie night in the Holland and Co. Household. Shoutout to @greenorangevioletgrass who was the BIGGEST help while writing this. Next week I’ll be posting the Peter Parker angsty fic titled Good For You, based on that song from Dear Evan Hansen, and after that is Black & White Ch. 2 so stay tuned! Also, this is the longest fic I’ve written so far so enjoy :)

Warnings: Smut (ish), handjob under a blanket, ‘scawy’ movie, couple no-no words, ruined orgasm and a bit of overstim, first time writing smut so I apologize if I did it wrong 

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It was a typical movie night. 

You snuggled into Tom under the warm throw-blanket, Harrison on the other side of the couch, Harry curled up on the sofa-chair and Tuwaine chilling on the floor. 

The choice of film that night was “Hush”, which is more thriller than a horror movie (Tom and Harrison disagreed). So after some arguing, and maybe a broken phone, everyone finally settled down in their designated seats and watched the film 

Well, almost everyone. 

You couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on Tom’s face, specifically his lips. Every so often his tongue would poke out and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel against your--

A sudden yelp pulled you out of your thoughts, Tom’s hand gripping your thigh as his whole body jumped, the music shrilling through the speakers. Oh for fuck’s sake. 

In your defense, it had been a while since you and Tom had gotten together. Being stuck with three other divs in the house didn’t exactly leave room for much personal time. You were lucky enough to hook-up in the shower but never had enough time for it to go further. 

Suddenly, an idea came to mind. 

Slowly, you shifted your hand closer to Tom’s thigh, rubbing it slowly to make it seem like a comforting move. The brown-haired boy smiled, curling up closer and wrapping his arm around your shoulder so he could hold you against his chest. Big mistake buddy. 

You had your legs on top of his so you were basically sitting in his lap, but not quite. Honestly, it was an awkward position but it was comfortable so neither of you was complaining. At least now your movements were less obvious. You let your hand rest near his knee for a while, before slowly sliding it upwards. 

At first, Tom didn’t think anything of it and let you do whatever you were doing until the moment came when he felt a bit of pressure between his legs and his blood rush south. He tore his gaze from the television, only to meet your smug gaze as you ever-so-subtly moved your palm in agonizingly slow circles. 

“W-what are you doing?” He whispered as to not alert the other boys. He reached to grab your hand but froze when you tighten your grip on his groin, biting down on his lip to hold back a groan. 

You tucked your nose into his neck, speaking softly so only he could hear, “Just relax baby, enjoy the movie.” Your hand starting rubbing him through the material of his sweatpants, smirking against his skin when you felt his cock twitch under your touch. 

Tom mentally cursed himself for not wearing underwear, but in all fairness, he never expected to be biting his tongue so he doesn’t make any suggestive sounds while watching a horror movie with his roommates. 

After another ten minutes of painful teasing, Tom was fully hard, either from your consistent and steady rubbing, or the thrill of maybe getting caught (even though it would lead to a lifetime of embarrassment), he didn’t know. However, Tom would be lying if he said the thought of you getting him off while he was forced to suppress any noise trying to escape from the back of his throat didn’t drive him crazy. On top of all that, he was praying no one noticed how flush he’s become, and his prayers were answered surprisingly, for the most part. The boys seemed really into the film, however, you were enjoying an alternate source of entertainment.  

Seeing your boyfriend with his knuckles in his mouth and squirming ever so slightly every time you gently squeezes his hard-on was the best thing you could ever lay eyes on. Tiring from the pre-show, you decided it was time to progress the main plot. Slowly, you let your fingers dip under the waistband, planting a few kisses on the brown-eyed boy’s collarbone before reaching in and wrapping your fingers around his aching dick. 

Tom breathed deeply when he felt your skin touch his, and almost let out a whimper when you carefully pulled his member out so it stood hard against his lower stomach. His eyes fluttered closed at the feel of your thumb rubbing against the tip of his cock. And when you start to stroke up and down his length, he threw his head back and--

“FUCK!” Harry cursed out loud at a jumpscare.

It was a jumpscare alright because Tom practically jumped out of his seat and nearly blew the cover off. But you quickly held the blanket in place and ran a soothing hand on his chest, signaling that it’s all okay. 

You could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and wondered if it was from the scare or your little scandal. Probably both, you decided. 

Waiting ‘till everyone calmed down, you resumed your earlier movements, grinning inwardly when you felt your boyfriend tense beneath you. You lightly ran your hand over his cock, the pads of your fingers brushing against the head which made him shift.  

A few more minutes go by before you start jerking him off, slowly as to not surprise him, knowing full-well how prone he is to moaning out loud at any sudden contact. The pre-cum dribbled down his cock acting as a lube while you slid your palm up and down, twisting your wrist the way he loves. 

Tom was really struggling to stay quiet, to the point he had to stuff a pillow in his face, making excuses like “It’s too scary, man!” or “Oh god I can’t watch,” the Oh god being dragged out a little too long, not that anyone really paid attention. The short little dialogue you were whispering in his ear was not any help. 

“Gotta stay quiet baby boy, don’t want the lads to find out about our little secret, do you?”

“God, Tommy, you should see yourself right now. All red and flustered...can’t wait to see how you look from a lower angle.”

“You’re moving too much, my love. Be good and stay still for me will you?...yes that’s much better. Now I can go harder, and faster, and no one is gonna know.”

You knew your words were driving him crazy, could see it in the way he clenched his jaw and tightened his hold on the pillow. He was getting close. 

Unfortunately, just as he was about to cum, the sudden intense yelling coming from the others caused you to flinch, retracting your hand and curling up, all the while Tom used almost every bit of self-control he had left in order to not whimper aloud. 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAN?!”

“She’s deaf why the fuck is he knocking?!”

“BITCH HE’S GONNA KILL YOU RUN!”

He jumps slightly in shock, and what little control he's trying to grapple goes out the . The adrenaline still pumping through his body proving to be his undoing as small spurts of cum ran down his cock, orgasm completely ruined. His head lolled to the side a bit, brain fogged with unsatisfied lust yet the energy spent taking a physical toll on his fatigued figure.  

You watched him closely, saw his bottom lip get caught between his teeth and the quiet pants that felt a lot louder in your ears. At that moment, you thought he had never looked so hot, and all you could think about was wanting more. So after giving him a few seconds to catch his breath, you waited for the next jumpscare, before taking action and resuming your previous antics, much to Tom’s surprise as a startled moan was ripped from this throat, but thankfully drowned out by the shouts of his roommates.

Tom looked at you with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape, to which you returned with an innocent smile and a gentle squeeze to his tip, causing him to squirm and bite back the groan that desperately wanted to escape. “W-what are y-you doing?” He whispered, hiding his face in your neck. To the naked eye, it would seem like an ordinary couple move, however, in this scenario, he was trying hopelessly to muffle any sounds he wanted to make. 

You kissed his cheek, mumbling back “Your last orgasm was ruined, pretty boy. Only fair I give you a proper one.” With that said, your hand sped up, fisting his cock with ease and massaging the sensitive head. 

The actor knew you well enough to know you weren’t gonna stop until you got what you wanted, but that didn’t make the unexpected overstimulation any easier to handle. 

As the movie progressed, it felt as if your hand moved in rhythm with the score that played. Tom was truly trying his best to stay still for you, however you were relentless and the poor Brit was trapped in confusion of whether he wanted to buck into your hand, or shy away from the burning feeling his cock was endearing.  

Harrison, sitting opposite to the couple couldn’t help but see from the corner of his eye how much Tom was moving around. “Tom, mate you alright? If you need to wiz we can pause.”  

Tom really thought you were going to stop, but when you didn’t he had no choice but to power through the pleasure, or pain, he was still deciding. “N-No m’aright sunshine, j-just a-ah oh god…” his eyes slipped shut as his head fell forward into your neck. 

“He’s just being a scaredy-cat, aren’t you, baby boy?” You cooed playfully, but under the blanket giving his balls a harsh squeeze, emitting a small whimper-mixed-groan that was quiet enough that only you could hear. Tom could only nod along to your excuse. 

The blue-eyed boy didn’t seem convinced, but let it slide. Little did he know, his observation would send his best friend into a world of euphoria. 

The idea of you actually getting caught only spurred you on, pumping his cock vigorously and Tom was about to lose it. Sensitivity aside, he could feel another knot building in his lower abdomen and he wanted nothing more than to feel your walls hug his throbbing dick. He kissed your neck, slurring his words as he miserably tried to compromise. “D-darling, why don’t we finish this in our bedroom?” His voice was airy, like every time he opened his mouth he was gasping for oxygen. 

You adored the effect you had on this man, almost as much as you loved the effect he had on you. “Don’t be silly, Tommy. The movie is almost over… let’s see if you can cum before it does, shall we?” 

And he did, the pressure building up inside exploding as the girl in the movie stumbled out of the house covered in blood. Hey, everyone has their kinks. 

Tom moaned into your shoulder, cum flying out of his head and all over your hand, bits landing on his upper torso, but most of it getting caught on the underside of the blanket. 

Thinking quickly, you picked up your drink and “accidently” spilled it all over the cover, cursing loudly to drown out your boyfriend’s whimpers. “Ah, fuck shit! Fan-fucking-tastic. Ugh.” 

All heads turned to you, as you mock-complained while simultaneously riding out Tom’s climax. He panted heavily, eyes hooded as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. 

“I’ll put it in the wash. Tommy, do you mind helping me?” You looked down at the boy, face flushed and chest heaving. 

“O-Okay…” He knew there was no point in arguing. Like he said, if you want something, you’ll get it. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Tom quickly tucked his flaccid dick back into his sweats, using the blanket to wipe his chest subtly while he got up. 

“You boys have fun cleaning up,” You smiled before dragging your boyfriend to the laundry room. 

“....They’re gonna fuck, aren’t they?" “Oh definitely.” 

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Before anyone says anything, it’s canon Tom has called Haz “sunshine” before so that’s why I added at that in there definitely not because I ship them or anything

All: @greenorangevioletgrass @allegra-writes @soraitmnt @worldoftom @farfromparker @angel-spidey @parkerpeter24 @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @the-panwitch @rebekkah4766 @hollandsamor @theactualprincessofeverything

Tom Holland: @rubberducky-jrr

[lostinfantasies38]

Fic Writer Meme

Name

Fandoms

Most popular oneshot

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Name: Jordie is what everyone calls me and my username on Tumblr and AO3 is Lostinfantasies38, so I’m easy to track down

Fandoms: Over the years there have been many fandoms I’ve held dear, but my recent work is in Dragon Age and Dear Evan Hansen. I have temporarily left DA for some fresh air in DEH and have been doing very well there. 

Most Popular Oneshot: I actually have a tie for this one and surprisingly, they are from separate fandoms. 

Permanent Ink from DA: Origins, featuring Alistair and my male Warden OC Zane Cousland is quite spicy and tender. If you like pining bi-Alistair and schmexy love interests, this one is for you. 

For You I Could Be was my very first DEH fic and it’s taken the fandom by storm, which still shocks the pants off me. It’s a deviation from canon and focuses on Evan and Connor realizing they have feelings for each other. Read the tags though since triggering content is mentioned. 

Most Popular Multichapter: I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing about Sun Touched and Find Me Well Within Your Grace, but they are tied yet again. Sun Touched is my Dwarven Warden novelization of DA: Origins with Sirra Brosca and Alistair. Find Me Well is a head-canon fueled prequel of DA featuring young Cullistair at the abbey.  

I won’t bore you all with the details, but I am very proud of both fics. I hope to come back and finish them once I’m the right head-space to devote the time to them that they deserve. 

Actual Worst Part of Writing: The plot and staying on target. I tend to get side tracked by character development at times and that can derail an entire story if I’m not careful. I’m also incredibly careful to not lose a character’s voice while trying to flesh out a whole new side of them in my work. It’s a delicate balance. I want to do them justice, so while playing with them in AUs is fun, I still want them to sound like “them” and not caricatures. 

How You Choose Your Titles: Through blood, sweat, and typically numerous tears and hair pulling sessions. I like my titles to reflect the story, but not sound too fucking cheesy, and sometimes that feels like an impossible task. I try to avoid using song lyrics personally, but I have done it once or twice in a pinch, I won’t lie.

Do you outline: FUCK NO. I have tried and I can’t stick to them. I’m also the type that once I write it out, even in an outline, I lose interest in that particular piece. I need the scenes to be fresh and literally banging on the door of my brain so they flow properly. Everything is fixed/cleaned up in editing, but if the emotion is missing in the initial draft it takes a monumental effort later to keep it from ringing hollow. Sometimes the drafts can’t be saved, period, after outlining and I’ve scraped entire stories/chapters because of it.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: I have an entire folder of shelved DA stories in the wings that I’m not sure will ever see the light of day now. I’m hesitant to say “never,” but truthfully the more time passes the more likely that word becomes. 

They include: (1) a modern carta/cop AU ft. Sirra/Alistair, (2) part 2 and 3 planned continuations of Find Me Well following Alistair and Cullen through DAI, (3) Varric/Charise Trevelyan DAI story full of intrigue and the House of Repose, (4) world weary veteran Grey Warden Alistair/Rylie Trevelyan DAI, chock full of dashing heroics and a swooning damsel in distress, (5) Cullen/Eryka Cadash DAI with lots of tension/angst due to the Carta & Commander angle causing friction [interpret that how you will, lol!] (6) a modern color soulmate AU with a unique twist ft. Cullen/Alistair (7) a Siren!AU ft. Sirra/Alistair and a cutthroat island of traitorous bitches (8) and finishing my incomplete DA stories. As a bonus, (9) there is a football AU for DEH that I started during NaNo, but it may end up in the scrap pile, too. I’m still picking at it, but meh, we’ll see.

Callouts at Me: Guilt. 

Honestly, I know we do this for free and we have no obligation to write/complete these stories, but we all do it because we love it. Yet with each incomplete story, coupled with my rather abrupt departure from the DA fandom, my guilt has grown exponentially. 

However, I can’t allow it to hold me back and continue to eat away at my soul. It keeps me from being productive and having a hope and a prayer of finishing what I started. If this means that I play in a new fandom for a while, then so be it. I wish I had more familiar faces to follow me there, but I understand it’s not for everyone and I would never make demands. Though, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my usual readers and the comments I looked forward to, but I have relocated and I have to accept that. Just know that I still love you all and miss the fuck out of you. 

Best Writing Traits: Emotionally evocative prose and creating realistically flawed characters are what I’m best at. My characters are not perfect, because who the fuck can relate to perfection? Who would want to? They are flawed, broken, dealing with a shit ton of trauma as best as they can, and generally bumbling through life. Yes, they may have a LI, but they are not “cured” by love. They are supported by an equally flawed person as they continue to stumble through life, though with fewer face plants than before because they have someone to (hopefully) catch them whenever they aren’t overwhelmed with their own crises. And making all the pain and growth as lyrical as possible is my favorite part.

Sometimes I nail dialogue, too, but more often than not that’s simply luck after hours of talking to myself and laughing/crying so hard I had to include it in a fic.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: Every single kudo, like, reblog, or comment is special. I know it’s easy to focus on the “quantity” of them - but each one represents a real person that one of my stories has emotionally resonated with. Every day we write and post we’re affecting real people behind our stats, which means we can treasure every single one. Talking about the numbers and engagement erases that fact, and I wish more people treasured every individual interaction for the meaningful gesture about their work it is. Each one is a little spark of ‘you are loved’ in the world. {Keeping this Manka because you summed it up beautifully! Bravo!}

Throwing this out into the world! Tag list below (authors only this time, sorry my lovely artist friends) but feel no obligation to do so! Also sorry if you already got tagged!

@kittimau @jennserr @jellysharkbat @fandomn00blr @bigfan-fanfic @blarfkey@darlingrutherford @herald-divine-hell @cassandra-pentughasst @c-e-c-r-o-p-i-a @river-of-asgard @giraffesanddietpepsi @pikapeppa @simper-fi