#to be such a community that speaks so much ageism on here

[dejwrldarchived]

*invisible ink* i hate the way people on here slam dunk so much on younger gen z’ers.

[verxsyon]

adding this to your reblog!

obviously it’s okay if people who are 30+ like fanfics and anime because tbh I’ll be that way😭

the thing is at the age of 30 you shouldn’t be harassing MINORS online because you KNOW better.

No one is saying at 30 you can’t enjoy fics and anime. Hobbies and interests don’t go away with age. Please love what you like for as long as you like!

what this blog and others are saying is that at 30 you should know better than to HARASS A MINOR.

THANK YOU! i’m gonna ramble a bit, sorry.

to make it clear, someone else in the tags mentioned that particular blog was pushing 30 - around 25 to specific, so that’s how i got the info. i don’t know her personally. but it speaks volumes that numerous blogs here who were affected by her behavior and/or read the post from emmie (@garoujo) are extremely appalled because of her age.

to hate anon from yesterday, thanks for being my first hate anon and also fuck you. my tags never implied that people over 25+ should be gatekept from fics and anime because they’re too “old”. as this person said, that’s exactly what i meant. even at 30+ you should know better than to harrass anyone, including minors, online.

“actually, she’s 24.” actually! idc! idgaf! that doesn’t make the situation a lot better. she and her circle of friends who were also involved in the recent drama are cyberbullies at 20+.

the ageism argument is absolute bs. that anon completely missed the point. they cared so much about my opinion which disapproved her behavior because of her age, and not caring too much that those blogs have been making fic communities unsafe for everyone (the rbs are insane), and ruining all the fun.

[trackopinion]

Cultural Diversity and Consumer Behavior: Insights from Market Research

If you’re starting market research for your brand, then don’t forget to stay abreast of users’ opinions through inclusivity and diversity. In fact, don’t just collect data from the most likely audience but also include people who could be your prospects.

Market research firms recommend using a panel that’s rich with various cultural and ethnic representations. How does this affect your market research, you ask?

Market research solely depends on how diverse and complete your panelists’ demographics are. That’s why cultural diversity is highly insightful in understanding user behavior.

How Cultural Diversities Affect Market Research

When you study a set of people, the chances of them having the same ethnicity, gender, age band, profession, and likings are negligible. In fact, if you include people from various cultures, you will be able to learn the emotions of your audience that might not have been available in the past.

Here are ways in which cultural diversity affects market research data.

Communication

Language plays a vital role in market research processes. A gesture that might be perceived as positive or neutral in one culture could mean something negative in another culture.

Guests wearing footwear inside the host’s home might be a sign of personal hygiene for some, or it might not mean anything at all, but it might mean offensive in some cultures. So, while running your studies, you need to connect at a local level with your target audience.

It’s better to know the idioms, phrasal words, slang, expressions, and gestures of your audience, especially when you’re on an unfamiliar turf. That’s where translation services come in handy.

Go social for better market research outcomes.

Values

Market research heavily depends on the values and belief system of a territory. A common thought process among users in a region might reveal a pattern of buying history that was never noticed earlier.

For instance, cultures that treat all humans as equal irrespective of age, gender, socioeconomic level, thoughts, beliefs, etc., could show stronger leaniation towards inclusive products and brands.

Traditions

What people follow for ages as traditions affects market research and its outcome intensively. For instance, for a region resistant to modern fashion, the buying journeys of your samples might lean towards traditional dressing styles and conservative approaches.

Respect their cultural traditions and know that your market research outputs will mirror these thoughts and traditions.

Read how cultural and social trends turn the waves in the market research industry.

How to Manage Cultural Diversities in Market Research?

1.     Inclusive Forms

Be inclusive in your forms as much as possible. For instance, make your questionnaire compatible with visually impaired users and people with hearing challenges. Avoid questions that reflect ageism. Include members of all genders and ethnicities in your panel. Offer options in the demographic fields to accommodate trans people and those who don’t want to reveal their gender.

2.     Language Sensitivity

Translate your form and other content into a language understood by your audience. Avoid jargon, phrasal terms, idioms, and slang that your users might not connect with. For that, know what they speak and follow.

3.     History

Learn the historical aspects of the region you’re studying. Take help from a culturally aware research team or a local citizen to stay connected to the roots of the territory.

4.     Consent

Always seek the consent of the panel members. Inform them of their rights to opt-out and provide guidelines for data security and privacy. They should be aware of when and how they can stop participating in the surveys. Don’t question their reasons for withdrawal.

5.     Stereotypes

Avoid stereotyping people, their behavior and thoughts, and their responses based on the available historical and cultural data and prevalent information. Times are changing, and we should embrace the present and dig for newer data to stay relevant.

Here’s how you can make market research more inclusive and diverse.

How Track Opinion Helps Brands Understand Diverse Behavior

To indulge in unbiased and expert market research, your best bet is to hire a good and experienced market research agency in India or elsewhere.

Track Opinion, a global market research agency, works with diverse cultures. Our teams of experts help brands like yours to understand culturally diverse consumers and their buying history and behavior.

[lufirel]

Not Too old to be Trans

I’ve encountered this subject on Reddit several times over the past few weeks and I wanted to address it here. These threads are frequently made by people in their thirties although sometimes they are as old as fourties or fifties and sometimes as young as twenties, and the gist tends to be that this “older” trans person is feeling isolated and/or doubting whether it is worth it to come out as trans when most of the community seems to be so much younger. Now as a trans person who has lived a few decades and whose egg is fairly recently cracked I sympathize with where these posters are coming from, and so I want to say a couple of things;

First off it is my solid and unchanging opinion that you are never too old to be yourself. Your life is yours and no one else should get to dictate what you do with it. We do not owe society, or any individual for that matter, the performance of our assigned gender, and we are not letting anyone down by being ourselves. Now I acknowledge that I speak from a position of privilege on these matters. Not everyone is in a secure enough position to safely be themselves, and I say that’s a fucking crime. Fucking colonialism has so deeply entrenched this idea of two opposing genders that anyone who deviates from it is deemed a radical. But it is fucking colonialism that this system is based on, not objective reality. The two gender system is a human construction, and in a fair world we should be under no obligation to adhere to it.

This brings me to my second point which is the implicit ageism of the concern that one is “too old.” Now it’s no secret that American society is deeply ageist. We value youth, beauty and productivity and once you’re beyond a certain age these qualities are presumed deficient and society starts to want you invisible; tucked safely into some miserable 9 to 5 job feeding the corporate machine all while surrendering your passions to capitalism. It’s not dissimilar to how trans people are allowed in public so long as we stay in the closet. So my question is why give them what they want? Society says being trans is shameful, but we know that’s not true. Society says that being old is shameful, but everyone who is lucky enough to live grows old. And the reality is that most younger trans people seem quite thrilled to hear about their elders thriving.

Ultimately the problem, I think, is the narrative. Trans people are supposed to be young and suffering and tragic. When we’re not that people don’t know what to do with us. But the way to get more cis people to understand and sympathize with us is to humanize the trans experience. We are not a singular childhood trauma. We are a multifaceted community each of whom has our own journey to identity, and the age at which that journey occurred is completely erroneous. It’s just another way of dividing us and keeping us down.

[ironwoman359]

Okay smart ass. How come you and the other big blogs aren't saying shit about the racism and other problematic things happening in the fandom? Specially when almost all of you were always ready to put your opinions on something as petty as fans criticizing Thomas for how he wears a skirt.

Well, I cannot speak for other ‘big blogs’ because, while I am friends with some of the people who run the blogs that you’re lumping into the ‘big’ cateogory, we are not a monolith. We don’t have a secret group chat where we all decide “today we shall talk about Thomas wearing a skirt and ignore racism on purpose.” I can offer speculation that perhaps more people quickly added their own two cents on the skirt thing because when compared to everything else that was going on in the world, both on tumblr and off it, it was such a simple thing to digest. Everyone was craving something simple at that time, so it was an easy, cathartic thing to jump in and say “hey, don’t be mean in people’s inboxes” and proceed to stop thinking about almost just as fast. Anyway, like I said, I can’t speak for other people, only for myself. So since you apparently want me to, I’ll speak for myself. 

“How come you and the other big blogs aren’t saying shit about the racism...”

I am white. It is not my place to speak over poc about racism. It is my place to reblog their posts, elevating their voices without commentary. That is something that I learned this year, and it is something I intend to continue to practice. I do recall making one post in early June, about not using the b/l.m tag on fanart posts, but after seeing several poc express that they wanted white people to talk less and listen more, I elected to make no more original posts about the subject and stick to reblogging without comment. If you’re looking for some good posts about racism in the sanders sides fandom, here are a few good ones. Though most of the posts about racism that make their way across my dash and subsequently onto my blog are less fandom focused and more broad. 

“...and other problematic things happening in the fandom?”

This is where I must repeat what I said the other day; this could relate to any NUMBER of things, and unless you are more specific I have no idea what you’re talking about. Are you talking about callouts for specific creators? There were two that happened over the summer that I know about, but A) again, those were about racism, so I chose not to muddle the conversation with my voice, and B) the works being discussed in those situations were works I was personally unfamiliar with, and thus did not feel like I had enough information to state an opinion publically (which again, as I understand it, would have been unneccessary additions to an issue I have no authority to speak on). 

So maybe you’re talking about the Twitter callouts, or the situation with the artists for the Storytime Madlibs video? Again, I felt as though I lacked sufficient need/information to make any statements about those issues. I have a twitter, but I barely use it, and don’t use it for the fander community at all. I had NO IDEA what any of that stuff people were talking about was, and still don’t, and since I don’t use Twitter and am not in that community, it seemed pointless to speak about. That is not to trivialize any hurt or harm that was caused or experienced during those events, just to say that I have nothing to do with them, which is why there’s nothing about it on my blog. (The joke I made about fandom twitter was supposed to be universal and relate to how all the twitter discourse these days seems to be a rehash of tumblr discourse from five years ago. Bad timing on my part I guess, oh well.) And, being 100% honest here, I don’t think I even watched the Storytime Madlibs video. If i did, I don’t remember much about it. I know that when it came out that the artists were underpaid, I reblogged one or two posts about how content creators should not be put on pedestals and are not perfect, but the rest of that situation was centered around the artists involved in that video, and since I was not one of them nor did I know any of them personally, it seemed like something that again, I shouldn’t bring up because I didn’t know anything about it. From what I understand, a solution is/was being worked out, but I haven’t heard anything recently. 

Or by ‘problematic things’ do you mean the existence of remrom, or unsympathetic sides, or how I’ve been in this fandom for over 3 years and our anon hate problem has never gone away, or the rampant purity culture, or the pervasive ageism, or literally a dozen other things, some of which are genuine issues and some of which are simply differing opinions being handled with all the grace of an elephant on roller skates? I’ve said it over and over again on this blog, but this fandom is not perfect. No fandom is perfect, but this one in particular has a reputation for being ‘pure’ and ‘wholesome’ for some reason; a reputation that it has never upheld by the way, because, shocker, fandoms are made of humans, and humans are not flawless porcelein dolls. We’re incredibly flawed creatures, and mistakes are inevitable. The sooner we all accept that and start treating our mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow and do better next time instead of a signal that we were always worthless pieces of garbage that had no chance to do anything other than fuck up, the better off we’ll all be. 

And may I reiterate: look outside this website for a minute. There is SO MUCH going on in the world right now, every single one of us is utterly exhausted, we are suffering from a massive traumatic event, several massive traumatic events at once, actually, forgive me if my attention is spread a little thin at the moment. 

I’ll readily admit, there have been posts in the past several months that I’ve seen, read, and then not reblogged. Often this is because I feel as though the post that I am seeing does not have the full picture, and that it would be irresponsible to reblog only that part of the ‘discourse.’ And most of the time, I just don’t have the mental energy to go looking for the full story on whatever the Issue of the Week is. And I shouldn’t have to. Because at the end of the day, what I put on my own blog is my business, and no one else’s. There’s not some rule list that magically appears once you pass 1,000 followers that tells you what you must and must not do as a blogger. I am not required to weigh in on every little thing that happens in this fandom just because a lot of people in it follow me, and in fact, NO ONE is obligated to reblog something regardless of how many followers they have. If you are dissatisfied with the posts I make and/or reblog, you’re welcome to unfollow, there’s no rule that says you have to stay. But my energy is so limited these days, and I’m not going to devote what little free time and headspace I have to figuring out the ‘Correct’ take on fandom discourse.

I’d like to end by once again reiterating what many have said beffore, that racism is not the same thing as fandom discourse. It is always my goal to not speak over the voices of poc, and if in this post I have done that in any way, I’d like to apologize. Poc are welcome to DM me so that we can discuss it in any such instance, whether on this post or any other from the past or that comes up in the future. I am still working on unlearning racism, and know I am likely to make many more missteps on that journey. Stay safe out there everyone. 

[nomadix]

we used to be really active in the mcyt community bc we liked the lore of the dsmp but for the past idk 5-6 months weve been really distant from it other than some artists we still follow

anyway the reason isnt so much of the ccs themselves its more of the community going on hunts every week or so

like right now its people hating on indonesians (happy independence day my friends) and ace/aros

last i checked before that it was systems (which we took personal offense to and got some hate when we tried to speak about it)

the amount of just racism, homophbia, biphobia, lesbophobia, ace/arophobia and even ageism is just too much

and then when sniff snifferish was attacked for days on end and people just kept coming after her even when they apologised and tried to explain what their thought process was and how they understand now it was a bad choice

people hating on ponk after his recent lore stream

idk its not just antis like a lot of people want you to believe it feels like a lot of the people in the community are just as bad as antis

im not sure where i was going with this but uh

idk maybe thats why were here a lot more instead of twt

:/ dont be an asshole? if you dont like something dont seek it out and dont attack people for liking something and mind ur own business idk

[krisrix]

Hi fam~ I haven’t been around much in the past little while, but I wanted to take a moment to address something happening in the fandom the past few days... 

As a caveat: I know I’m only active within one subsection of the fandom, so please understand that I am not trying to speak for everyone. On the Discord server I’m a part of, we’ve been having a very deep, nuanced discussion about this for the past two days now. I’m popping in to offer a summary of that discussion. Again, this is only one subsection of the fandom, but I hope that the takeaways of our discussion are something that others can find some comfort in as well.

The bullet points I believe we ultimately agreed on:

Smut with minors is not okay, it doesn't matter who it is written by

"Snowbaz smut" and "smut with minors" is a Venn diagram, not a perfect circle—the concern is with the overlap, not snowbaz smut in general

Anyone over the age of consent can write mlm smut with characters who are also over the age of consent—there is no upper limit on the age where this rule applies (aka no ageism in fandom)

You do not have to out yourself or "be X enough" to engage or create for this fandom and have a home here 

Cishet women are welcomed (for more reasons than can even be accounted for) so long as they are respectful and not fetishizing

Fetishization can occur by anyone, both inside and outside of the group in question

It doesn’t matter who the creator is—queer, questioning, or otherwise—so long as they have a certain level of self-awareness and empathy, they therefore are not fetishizing

If you are worried "am I fetishizing?", then the answer is probably "no", but self-reflection as a healthy routine is always good

Listen to others when they say you’ve done something to make them uncomfortable and try to reevaluate yourself accordingly—you do not have to bow to anyone else’s whims, but you do have to recognize the validity of what they’ve expressed, even if you didn’t intend harm

“Being heard” and “being agreed with” are not the same thing

Blanket statements that gatekeep people always do more harm than good—sequestering groups is historically proven time and again to be the worst thing we can do to each other and is antithetical to developing empathy

We all need to be mindful of the language we use, especially in nuanced discussions

We need to utilize tags appropriately as best we can—this includes adults adding NSFW/Explicit/etc. tags when relevant and the blacklisting of said tags by minors

I could go on for a very long time about so many intricate portions of this discussion, but unfortunately, I don’t have the strength for that at this point. I will leave you with this tangled mish-mosh of thoughts:

If you’re feeling frustrated and like you’re repeating yourself or talking to a brick wall, try to engage in good-faith questions and answers instead. I’ve found that this opens up new opportunities for communication and helps highlight misunderstandings. There was a lot of strong language and negative feelings being tossed around in the server, but after we discussed it for long enough and delved deeper, we realized we were all in agreement! There had just been a number of knee-jerk responses and misconstrued words, which led to an unravelling argument.

I also request that we be more mindful of tossing around the word "p*dophile", etc. That is an extremely loaded word, both for its true meaning and for its historical meaning. Queer folks have been lumped in as and labelled as such for so much of our history, and it is a term very much in fashion at the moment with the alt-right, as well.

Speaking of which, the strong reaction we all had to this discussion is because we are all dealing with our own personal baggage, and much of that baggage has to do with the complex political world we are constantly entrenched in. So it’s understandable that when faced with negativity, our first reaction is to go full fight-or-flight. Being defensive is not necessarily a sign that someone is guilty of something. We have to fight so hard, every day! But this shouldn’t need to be a fight, especially not amongst ourselves.

When they attack us, they do so from a place of negativity and fear. Their whole outlook is “you’re not allowed to do that” and “this is only for me”. That is not what we are about. When they attack us, it is because they lack empathy for our situation. Please note that sympathy and empathy are not the same. You can empathize with those you disagree with. Ultimately, that is what allows us to learn and grow and constantly improve.

We are imitating them when we don’t give other people empathy. We are imitating them when we yell and attack, rather than striving to understand and communicate. It is terrifyingly easy to take the hostility and language of the abuser and then apply it to yourself and/or those around you. Please take care not to mimic that which has hurt you.

We cannot be perfect. We cannot always have the onus on us to be the understanding one, the one willing to be patient and kind, the one willing to educate. The mental labour of that is overwhelming. I merely ask you to take time now and then to check in with yourself and your place within a situation to make sure you’re not adding more negativity into a system, especially one that is already struggling. Yelling at someone and making sweeping statements is rarely a good form of communication.

We’re here because we opened our hearts to these characters. We need to continue to keep our hearts open to each other.

We’re all in this together. 

We are all stardust.

[battlestar-royco]

Maxine! Pls give your hot takes on Rap & misogyny

honestly rap is not my musical area of expertise but i definitely do listen and keep up with it to a certain extent! i can’t promise the takes will be groundbreaking but here we go:

for the most part it’s misogynoir in particular

there’s a hierarchy of clout and respect that was pioneered by black men but ppl like eminem, macklemore, mac miller, iggy etc started vulturing and being viewed as sensational. now it’s white men > white women > black men > black women etc

it’s intricately intertwined with homophobia due to male rappers’ constant fear of emasculation and the idea that attraction to men is “effeminate” (hate that word). they’re different for sure but i personally don’t think you can separate the two tbh

the homophobia is gendered. homophobic/sexist slurs are used to belittle other men--competitors. slurs are used against women--objects--who are not attracted to the rapper to make them seem like an aberration

also layered with classism, materialism, ageism, colorism, featurism etc. for example thin light-skinned women are featured way more often in videos as love interests and wearing status symbols (jewelry, hair, nails, brand name clothes blah), and dark-skinned women are background dancers or foils with more diverse body types. women are part of the material desires expressed in many rap songs

this is a prime example of how gender can be/is always racialized. gender expression across races/ethnicities uses different codifiers, making it easier for everyone else to call black women ghetto (a whole other issue to unpack) while benefitting off their presence and the way they add objective, incredible value to the rap genre. it’s specifically misogynoir bc when u see white women wearing grills, neon hair, braids, bantu knots etc they get praised

for straight black men, the gender hierarchy in rap is a form of catharsis and control bc they lack that control over racism

thus when you get a cultural fucking reset where women are building up other women’s confidence (truth hurts, run the world, etc) and ESPECIALLY!!! if it has to do with explicit autonomy over men (literally everything to do with wap), there is a backlash bc this is one of few spaces where black men are used to dominating

also absolutely worth mentioning what lil nas x is doing for the community and how much gaslighting, shit, and psychoanalysis he got for making a song about RIDING A HORSE bc he is gay?? :/ it’s the toxic masculinity babey

speaking of megan thee stallion she objectivelyyyyyy has so much more talent than most ppl on the scene at the moment that everyone should be ashamed of their entire career. she would’ve wrecked the market tenfold had she been a dude and/or white. oh and tory lanez choke challenge <3

which brings me back to the gender expression point. you notice how LNX’s masculinity is in question at the same time the femininity of megan, cardi b, nicki minaj, lizzo etc is in question? and then it’s used to dehumanize them and question their success? inch resting coincidence

ALL that said, white and nb rappers get away with all this and much more, as do other genres because the creators are not primarily black. for example the heavy metal and country genres are full of men who literally sing about murdering the women in their lives lol

rap carries a lot of the onus of misogyny in music. misogynistic songs hit the mainstream to add to the narrative of black men (& women) being predatory and hypersexual while the other more nuanced songs get widely ignored to the point where ppl literally think rap is just misogyny and materialism when it has a extremely complex and interesting history and covers a wide range of topics

[onestowatch]

Amanda Brown on the Artists’ Role in Society, COVID-19, and Advice to Young Women [Q&A]

Amanda Brown has had a hell of a career, but she wants you to know she is just getting started. Born and raised in the Bronx, the Puerto Rican/Jamaican vocalist and songwriter got her start as a fan-favorite on NBC’s The Voice and has made a name for herself backing up Adele, Stevie Wonder, and Alicia Keys… just to name a few.

With a resume apt to make just about any musician jealous, Brown is one of the most in-demand session and touring vocalists in the biz, but parallel to this work, she has been crafting her own artist career, writing mature, alt-pop tracks like “From Here.” Begging questions about self-acceptance and the uncertainty of the road ahead, “From Here,” released in October, became the perfect quarantine companion just before the presidential election as the nation stood at a crossroads. Though she originally expected to spend her year on tour busses and backstage, working with the industry’s A-listers, COVID-19 allowed her a once-in-a-lifetime chance to stay in and tell the stories of the year through her own artist project.  

For Brown, her success as a songwriter and vocalist stems from more than sheer talent (though she could easily find success on her innate gift alone). It is her regimented soul-searching and her living by Nina Simone’s mantra “an artists’ duty is to reflect the times” that sets Brown apart from the pack as she builds her profile as not just a vocalist for others but as her own artist.

Ones to Watch spoke with Amanda Brown to recap her unexpected 2020, her advice to young women, and her plans for the new year.  

Ones to Watch: You've been working in various roles as a vocalist/musician for years. How do you approach your own music as an artist differently than the work you do with other acts?

Amanda Brown: When it comes to my work as a solo artist, I don’t hold back. What I mean by that is, when it’s my show and my recording session, I can do, say and sing whatever I want the way that I want! There’s a certain amount of freedom that comes with being a solo artist, accompanied by more responsibility. Whereas, when I am working with other acts, I am subject to the will and vision of those creatives. Not to say that I don’t enjoy those experiences and get lost in the music when I’m on stage. Performing with other acts carries it’s wonder as does my work as a solo artist and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to experience both.

You've been on the road a lot in the last few years, but COVID-19 this year has forced you to stay home. Have there been any positives to this tough situation?

I definitely miss traveling, meeting new people and playing live shows (while being in the same room as the audience); however, this year has allowed me the opportunity to create music for the sync and licensing world, which I’m enjoying. This year has also allowed me time to myself to think, learn and do things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the time, like gardening for example. I most definitely had a black thumb prior to the start of this year. I believe I’ve grown as an individual, for the better. I’m strong and resilient - those aren’t qualities I would have necessarily attributed to myself in the past, not because they weren’t true but more so because I’d be too shy to say them out loud. Also, witnessing the resiliency and strength of so many others around me has left me inspired and hopeful for the future. Yes, there are many downsides to covid-19, the main one being the loss of life (I lost family and friends this year). With that said, I’m hopeful that we will make it through the rest of this difficult year with the support and love of each other. Community is important and this year has driven that point home for me.

We've seen a lot of people lean on music to get them through such a tough year. What do you think an artists' role is in our society today?

Nina Simone said, “an artists’ duty is to reflect the times” and I believe that to be true. Some artists are called to make social commentary, others are called to reflect upon their personal experiences and the experiences of those in their close circles. Either way, I believe art is a reflection of how an artist may be feeling, what they are experiencing and/or what they see others experiencing. Sometimes art is created to help people forget difficult things that are happening in the world - I believe that to be a reflection of sorts. Regarding myself and my art, I’m am learning to honor my feelings - not to silence myself in order to make others feel comfortable but to dig deep, be vulnerable and honest.

You've used your platform this year to speak on important social/cultural issues, especially in your collaboration with LACES for the single 'they say.' Has using your platform in this way always been a fundamental goal of your career?

I want to be myself and in order to accomplish that, I have to be honest at every turn. I may not share everything but when I do share, I want it to be the truth. Life experience has taught me that certain things should not be tolerated. Sexism, misogyny, white supremacy, homophobia, transphobia, ageism, classism, and any other type of prejudice and discrimination is fucked up and should not be tolerated! We need to stand up to that shit and anyone that seeks to perpetuate those toxic behaviors and systems - I believe that should be the goal of everyone, regardless of whether you’re an artist or not. These social and cultural issues are human issues, and they should matter to everyone.

There are many people who grow up, dreaming of a career like yours. What do you think it took to set yourself apart as a vocalist and artist?

Sometimes I think I know the answer to this question and other times, I have no idea. There are things I could list off like me being hard-working, detail-oriented and studious but I don’t think those attributes alone are responsible for the career I’ve been fortunate to have thus far. I have not made it to this place in my career on my own. There have been so many people that believed in me throughout my journey, encouraged me, recommended me for work and supported my music and artistry. I think it may be a combination of qualities I possess, music training, live music experiences and the individuals that helped create opportunities for me. Regarding my success as a vocalist and artist, I think I’m equally indebted to some of those individuals that helped me as I am to my innate propensity for creating music and art and being disciplined within my craft.

What was a turning point in your career that really changed your life?

I’d say being a contestant on The Voice changed the trajectory of my career. It allowed me to perform in front of a national audience weekly. As a result of being on that show, I’ve had a number of beautiful music experiences playing all over the world and meeting fans of the show and myself. I’m grateful for the platform The Voice allowed me and to those that continue to listen to and support my music after watching my performances on the show.

Do you have any advice for a young woman hoping to create a career in music?

Don’t be afraid to experiment in order to figure out what you like. You will fail. Failure is a part of life and helps us grow. No one can tell you what’s going to work for you and your artistry. Only you can decide what is right for your music and art and the way that you’d like to create and communicate that art. Trust your gut. No one should make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe EVER! Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be the best version of yourself. A career in music is not easy. Educate yourself as much as possible. Make a list of all of your goals, figure out how to accomplish them and then execute them. You will often be the only person advocating for your vision (until you find your team) -  don’t give up! If you don’t believe in yourself, your gifts and your art, no one else will.

Looking ahead to 2021, what are some of your plans?

I’m ready to release more music and I can’t wait to perform in front of an audience. My next live show, I may try to hug every single person as they enter the venue, once it’s safe to do so of course. I’d want to collaborate with more female producers and songwriters. I’ve had lovely experiences working with women over the past three years and I want to create more of those opportunities for myself and others. I’m going to continue to build upon the good habits I’ve developed this year and pay more attention to my mental health. More gardening with homegrown fruits and veggies. I want a puppy friend next year, so I’ll be on the hunt for that little guy or gal. Also, people! I can’t wait to see people face-to-face...in-person and without masks or fear of getting sick because it’s no longer a big threat. I understand that all of the precautions we’re taking are necessary but I’m looking forward to the day when we can all hug and hang out together again.

Black Lives Matter! Trans Lives Matter! Stop Policing Women’s Bodies!

[rradcattt]

GRRRLS TO THE FRONT

 The Movement That Shaped a Generation, and So Many More to Come

The Riot Grrrl movement, combining punk, politics and new wave feminism, first arose in the early 90s, coined by female punk icons Bikini Kill. Releasing the Riot Grrrl manifesto was the first step in creating a safe space for women in music, especially in a scene vastly dominated by men. In 1991, the same year the manifesto was released, independent label K organised a punk festival in Olympia, featuring an all girl lineup on the very first night with the likes of Bratmobile, Betsy and Bikini Kill themselves. Kathleen Hanna, lead singer of Bikini Kill and later fronting Le Tigre, famously yelled “GIRLS TO THE FRONT” on stage during their iconic set, and since then has inspired the creation of many other safe spaces to provide a platform for women’s art. 

While many argue that the Riot Grrrl scene fizzled out in the late 90s, others believe it’s still present today, taking form in other movements. When the likes of the Spice Girls began appropriating phrases like “Girl Power”, first seen scribbled across many of the 40,000 zines published by the community in North America alone, those who grew up in the scene felt like this was the end of the Riot Grrrl movement, while others saw it as passing on the torch to the next generation of women in music.

Here at Lazy Oaf, we always strive to be as empowering and as inclusive as possible, and always give a platform to artists where they might not otherwise get it. In honour of the original Riot Grrrls, here’s the Riot Grrrl manifesto, originally published in 1992 in the BIKINI KILL ZINE 2.

RIOT GRRRL MANIFESTO

“BECAUSE us girls crave records and books and fanzines that speak to US that WE feel included in and can understand in our own ways. BECAUSE we wanna make it easier for girls to see/hear each other's work so that we can share strategies and criticize-applaud each other. BECAUSE we must take over the means of production in order to create our own meanings. BECAUSE viewing our work as being connected to our girlfriends-politics-real lives is essential if we are gonna figure out how we are doing impacts, reflects, perpetuates, or DISRUPTS the status quo. BECAUSE we recognize fantasies of Instant Macho Gun Revolution as impractical lies meant to keep us simply dreaming instead of becoming our dreams AND THUS seek to create revolution in our own lives every single day by envisioning and creating alternatives to the bullshit christian capitalist way of doing things. BECAUSE we want and need to encourage and be encouraged in the face of all our own insecurities, in the face of beergutboyrock that tells us we can't play our instruments, in the face of "authorities" who say our bands/zines/etc are the worst in the US and BECAUSE we don't wanna assimilate to someone else's (boy) standards of what is or isn't. BECAUSE we are unwilling to falter under claims that we are reactionary "reverse sexists" AND NOT THE TRUEPUNKROCKSOULCRUSADERS THAT WE KNOW we really are. BECAUSE we know that life is much more than physical survival and are patently aware that the punk rock "you can do anything" idea is crucial to the coming angry grrrl rock revolution which seeks to save the psychic and cultural lives of girls and women everywhere, according to their own terms, not ours. BECAUSE we are interested in creating non-heirarchical ways of being AND making music, friends, and scenes based on communication + understanding, instead of competition + good/bad categorizations. BECAUSE doing/reading/seeing/hearing cool things that validate and challenge us can help us gain the strength and sense of community that we need in order to figure out how bullshit like racism, able-bodieism, ageism, speciesism, classism, thinism, sexism, anti-semitism and heterosexism figures in our own lives. BECAUSE we see fostering and supporting girl scenes and girl artists of all kinds as integral to this process. BECAUSE we hate capitalism in all its forms and see our main goal as sharing information and staying alive, instead of making profits of being cool according to traditional standards. BECAUSE we are angry at a society that tells us Girl = Dumb, Girl = Bad, Girl = Weak. BECAUSE we are unwilling to let our real and valid anger be diffused and/or turned against us via the internalization of sexism as witnessed in girl/girl jealousism and self defeating girltype behaviors. BECAUSE I believe with my wholeheartmindbody that girls constitute a revolutionary soul force that can, and will change the world for real.”

source : History Is A Weapon

[teaboot]

hi i hope its okay to ask about your career? i'm on a crossroads in my life and one of the paths im interested in is fashion but im just so... torn? and i don't think many ppl take it seriously, like, as sth you do in life unles you profit really well... my family certainly doesn't see it as an option an im just very curious about your experience w/ studying and working in the industry

Honestly? I never in my life expected going to college for fashion. He'll, I spent half my childhood topless and barefoot in jean overalls, covered in dirt with a snake in each hand. My best friend from grades 4 through 7 was a sheep. I brought that sheep to a school dance. Seriously, fancy clothing was never for an instant a topic in my mind.

I always figured it was sort of shallow, you know? Fashion was for dumb rich people who paid too much for shoes you couldn't even hike in.

What I DID love, however, was Costume Design. All the cool outfits and armour and prosthetic bits in The Dark Crystal, and Star Wars, and Lord Of The Rings. And the practical effects! Ohhh I could go on. I loved it. I wanted to help create that magic.

And to be a Costume Designer, I had to go to school for Fashion Design.

And I will tell you right now: if someone is in a fashion design course? Good for you. It's hard work. But if you've GRADUATED your fashion design course?

Ho-lee-fuck. You have my immediate respect.

Getting a fashion design degree is a four year commitment, usually. Because I'm an idiot, I decided to finish it in two. And I did! But out of... I believe a starting class of 15-20? Only four of us graduated.

To highlight the worst of it? My family is poor. Pretty much all my classmates were either ludicrously wealthy or at least well-off. I had duct tape holding my sneakers together, and I worked on group projects with people wearing Louis Vuitton who had maids back home. They were nice enough, but the cultural disconnect was more jarring than I'd expected.

And the actual class work is hard. The people coming in with fantasies of becoming the next Kim K with little to no real physical labour or skill involved dropped out pretty quickly.

See, knowing how to draw was part of it, but the whole spectrum of classes involved Fashion History, Color Theory (Which is an ENTIRE course on just colors!), Life drawing, Digital illustration (for both factory instructions AND fashion images), Fashion illustration, Concept design and development, GERBER training (The only digitizing program for making patterns, apparently, which is garbage and makes me cry), Patternmaking, Trends (And how to predict/utilize them), Advertising, Basic web design, textile sciences (where we learned how to make fabric, design fabric, and analyze various materials and weaving/knitting techniques), and then the ACTUAL design and construction classes, where we finally got to learn how to use industrial machines and do a million sample pieces to cover sewing and ironing techniques before moving onto designing and sewing our own ideas.

If it sounds overwhelming, good. It IS overwhelming. I can't speak for others, but my mental and physical health both tanked. I worked 20 hour days and spent weeks at a time on campus without going home, mostly because I couldn't afford the train. If you have the opportunity to use the full four years, DO NOT RUSH LIKE I DID. It will CONSUME YOU. There were so many days where I woke up in a bathtub or under a table and thought, 'I made a mistake. I can't do this. I'm an idiot, I should quit, my life is hell.'

Really, I think the only reason I didn't because the only thing I am more than dumb is stubborn, and I have amazing friends and family who I could call and talk openly to, and I'd already flushed enough money down the campus toilet that quitting now with nothing to show for it would have been a move of eternal regret.

...BUT- and I must insist, BUT- I LEARNED SO MUCH. I had hardass teachers who made me cry, I learned about a system of corporate corruption and greed that starts with a seed and ends in farmers shooting themselves in the field and mothers losing children in villages across the world and the $3 dress you buy off the rack and the laws that make it possible. I learned that there are ways to Fuck that system, and I learned how to change that system. I learned where the problems are. I learned where the lies and misconceptions are. I learned about disability and ableism, fat shaming, diet culture, ageism, social hierarchy, revolution, historical trends that keep coming back and ideas so appealing that they didn't stop until people end up dead.

It's fascinating. It changes your worldview and the way you think. People need to know that fashion isn't just clothing- its everything from the way you hold your body to the food you eat, the color of your skin and hair, your wedding ring, your dog, your living room wall. It encompasses EVERYTHING, and I love that.

That being said, I graduated tired and hungry and went off to work a desk job just to breathe a little for about a year. Then I made fashion flats for factory production for a while, because the pay is good and I know how.

And I have so many opportunities open to me, now. I could work in a high-end boutique. I could be a patternmaker for wedding gowns, prom dresses, suits, costumes, bathing suits. I can and HAVE worked backstage in fashion shows. I can be a tailor, a costume designer, a stylist, a personal shopper, a curator- there are so many directions I can go from here, and for a while I even did small clothing adjustments for people to help ends meet.

It's a collection of skills I will always have that I can always use, no matter my social standing. I could lose my house, my family, my job, my mobility, but so long as I can communicate or hold a pencil I will have a valuable skill.

I'm in the process of applying for the IATSE film union, to be a costume designer. It's been four years since I started. I'm nervous, and excited, and anxious, but worst case scenario I can't get a foot in the door? I can make clothes for my children. I can tailor my own suits. I can do repairs for friends and neighbors. I can go to a store, look around, and say, "That's a bad deal. That's a bad investment. I can get good value out of this instead", and that's good, too.

At the end of the day, though, you know the most important thing I've learned?

My job is not my life. My job is what SUPPORTS my life. Having a job I love would be nice, but it's still only secondary.

Sorry, I ramble. Hope I could help!

[misstincu]

How to be your own person

At 27 years old, most people perceive me as unapologetic, bold, a warrior fighting for what is right, fair, honest and inspirational. Which is kind of accurate [insert modesty here], but it’s important to note that I’m not all these things simultaneously.  Sometimes I’m just too busy overthinking myself to death, having meltdowns and self-sabotaging whilst still being a nice person [yes, I can multitask that way 😂]. To understand where I’m coming from and what “qualifies” me to tell you how to be your own person, here’s a glimpse into the worst parts of myself from ten years ago: 

I worked hard to improve and change, because I was sick and tired of all the unecessary unpleasantness I was allowing myself to live in. I do hope that you’re not imagining that I managed to achieve this by sheer will. On the contrary, it was more a mix of taking chances, trying things outside of my comfort zone and seeking to surround myself with people that see my value, respect me and support me without kissing my ass to obtain something from me 💅. Of course, I derailed from this “master plan” of becoming my own person on a few occasions because my auto pilot was strong - if I wouldn’t pay attention to something for a little while, I was instantly switching back to my old ways because it was easier and more comfortable. Right now I’d say I’ve come pretty far, and I’m proud of what I achieved, but I didn’t do it alone - it’s the result of many people giving me a hand, helping me in times of need or giving me a chance when no one else would.

I think becoming who you are and maintaining it is a lifelong process, and something we always need to pay attention to and work on it, because as I said - it doesn’t take much to revert to your unhealthy old ways. Here’s where I am now:

Most of the above ideals are not a 5 minute job, it takes years to get there and it won’t be easy - but it’s all worth it, I can promise you that. And just because I changed, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still doubt myself at times, or fall back a little into my old ways at times. It just means that I make a conscious effort daily to stay true to myself and not compromise my wellbeing for anyone.

Without further ado, here are my tips on how to be your own person:

Always have your own best interest at heart

If you’re like me, it’s difficult to constantly have your defences up and think of yourself 24/7. So having your own best interest at heart is also aided by building healthy relationships with those around you, choosing a work environment where you can be yourself and not having to walk all over your values often and reducing contact with toxic people that you can’t just remove from your life (such as family or old friends). Seeking what’s best for you is not always easy or obvious, but a way to do this could be reflecting on what you don’t want, that way it will get a little easier to follow what you want for yourself. In order to have your own best interest at heart, you’ll need to dig deep and be honest with yourself. Be selective of the people you surround yourself with, the situations you allow yourself to be part of, the environments where you spend your time. You won’t be able to count on family, friends, significant others and work colleagues to have your best interest at heart because most of them are too busy to chase their own interests. So it’s important for you to do the same.

Voice your opinions

It took me years, years I tell ya, to start voicing my opinions. This is because the environment I grew up in never empowered me to have an opinion in the first place. However, the first step for me was to start voicing my opinions in writing on my first blog back when I was a teenager - that’s where I said the things I didn’t have the courage to say out loud. A few years later, I was forced by University course assignments to start saying what I think. After a while, I managed to start saying what I think at work even if it wasn’t necessarily encouraged to do so. A beneficial factor for me starting to voice my opinion more and become even closer to being the most “my own person” that I’ve ever been - was having a significant other who has my best interest at heart, and empowered me to be my true self. You can find such support in other types of relationships, it doesn’t have to be a significant other. At some point I became tired of my own bullshit - by which means tired of the unsaid things that were imploding inside me and I couldn’t bear it anymore so I started to speak up more - with my family, with my friends, at work, and with friends of friends (I was already voicing my opinions at home, just not so much in public).

The key to voicing your opinions is to just start doing it. Take any little opportunity you get and practice, practice, practice. Lady at the bakery gave you the wrong type of bread? Say it! Your work colleague is a jackass? Say it! Don’t want to go out? Say it! Not being paid enough? Say it! Think of it like this: saying what you think might be uncomfortable for 10 mins, but it passes away. Sucking it up, however, can force you to take a commitment or be in a shitty position that you don’t want for hours, days, years! So 10 minutes of feeling like crap sounds good in hindsight, right?

Set Personal Boundaries

Boundaries are key for maintaining healthy relationships with people and set clear guidelines of how you want, and need, to be treated.

Most people will walk all over you no matter what relationship you have with them - that is, if you let them. It might take you some time to figure out what your boundaries are but rest assured, life experiences will highlight them for you, just pay attention. For example, back in the day I had no clue that when someone’s actions or words made me feel bad about myself and worthless, it actually meant that they crossed my personal boundaries. It won’t always be clear as day that someone is doing this to you, or they might not even realise it, but either way - if as a result you feel like shit it’s time to take action. In a sense, it’s like taking your power and self-worth back from those who are trying to take it away from you.

My personal boundaries, to name a few, resulted from being sick and tired of the following: not respecting me/my work/my time, taking me or my kindness for granted, toxic family ties, ageism, sexism, being unprofessional or unethical.  Now, when you feel like you need to set some boundaries with certain people, here are my top three ways of setting boundaries:

Reduce contact with family/old friends when: trying to reinforce inexistent boundaries might not be met with openness or the mental ability to comprehend what you are trying to communicate.

Cut people out of your life when they’re energy vampires/soul sucking friends/lovers: With a lovely touch of toxicity, these people might have been all lovely at first until you got to know them better and vice versa. Now, you just feel like a brainwashed puppet that allows them to suck the life out of you and walk all over you.

Ghosting (not ideal, but necessary sometimes) - when reducing contact or cutting people out of your life doesn’t work, the last option standing is ghosting them. To me, ghosting is not something aligned with my values and ethics. However, I do think it’s necessary for self preservation at times.

Accept your imperfections

There are many things you can change about yourself if you work hard enough. However, there are also many things you can’t change. A few of my imperfections include: taking things personal, being too nice, too obsessed with being professional and doing the right thing, too sensitive, an overthinker with high levels of anxiety. To you, most of these things might not seem like imperfections, but to me they are because these imperfections get my feelings hurt a lot and make me feel stupid and bad about myself. But the good thing is: once you accept and acknowledge your imperfections, it can get better. Not accepting these things about yourself and fighting your own self is just like lying to yourself. And when you lie to yourself, you’re lying to everyone around you - and let me tell you, people will see right through your bullshit. Are you a whiny bitch? Are you a pushover? A passive aggressive person?  Embrace it! When you get tired of your own bullshit, the motivation to do something will kick in. Of course, it’s not enough to embrace your imperfections, you have to also figure out how to change the outcome of the situation you dragged yourself into because of the way you are. Set boundaries, remove people from your life if they bring out the worst in you or make you feel bad about yourself. Extract yourself from environments and situations that are toxic for you and it will be easier to accept who you are without these distractions.

Bring out your fashion more

I’m a very visual person in the sense that what I see in the mirror influences my mood.  I’m also anxious and don’t exude self confidence 24/7. This is why makeup, the color of my hair, grooming and clothes are a way to express myself and a reminder of who I am (in case I forget, you know). All these serve like armor and war paint before I get out of the house and face the day. No matter how anxious or stressed out I get, on the verge of tears from bottled anger - I know that when I look at myself in a toilet mirror I’ll be reminded that I’m 100% that bitch. There are months when I’m so exhausted and burnt out that I can’t muster the energy to get all glammed up - but I still make sure I have something on me to bring me down to earth. No matter what gender you are, if you are into fashion, hairstyling, make-up or not - there must be something you can wear that makes you feel pretty damn awesome about yourself.  

Get to know yourself better

You don’t get up one morning and discover that you found out everything about yourself. Oh, no! This is a lifelong project. However, there are many ways you can find out the good and the bad things about yourself - introspection, analysing what you are good and bad at, hearing what people who see through your bullshit say, reviews of your work etc. Sure, it’s nice when people compliment you, and it hurts when they criticize you. But I think we are not 100% the way we see ourselves, nor how others see us. When people comment, there is always a little of them projecting their qualities or imperfections on you and subjectivity involved. In my opinion, the truth is somewhere in the middle. As long as you keep yourself grounded and not underestimate yourself or go full on hubris - you’ll get a pretty good sense of who you are at this point of your life.

Love and trust yourself

When I had zero self-confidence, I thought this idea was utter bullshit. Are you saying I am not a worthless piece of crap without talent like my step mother told me I am? Get outta here!

For years I had moments where I thought “that’s it! From this moment on, I love myself, I trust myself, I am confident” and bam! 2 hours later I still wasn’t any of these things. Because it’s not a decision you make on the spot, it’s a chain of actions, of setting boundaries and having experiences that teach you to stand up for yourself that get you to the level of wisdom that enables you to start loving, trusting, respecting and believing in yourself. For years, I let my power in the hands of others. I let others decide if I am worthy of respect, of trust, of being loved, of being trusted. But if you don’t feel or believe these things about yourself, why would others? In my case, I realised that I have to find my worth in other places. Not in the opinion of others, not in my skills and the results of my hard work - but in my own damn self.

After many failures and getting to the point where it affected my mental health and wellbeing, I realised that actually I do know my shit, I do have a lot of potential, I do deserve a good salary.  Actions speak louder than words - and it will take a long time for you to start feeling this way about yourself - so until then, you can just act and present yourself in a manner that shows that you know what you can do, you have an idea of who you are and what you can do. Yes, a little “fake it until you make it” attitude can help you.  Other people’s mean comments will still hurt - but deep inside, you will know the truth. When they go low, you go high. And slowly but surely, you will take your power back.

Learn to say NO

It might sound like it’s easy to say NO, but in reality, it can be a hard thing to do especially if you’re not used to it. Looking back, it’s astonishing to me on how many occasions I would have been better off if I would have been honest and said NO. This skill is detrimental for your survival and wellbeing, because sometimes you’ll have to put your foot down and say NO. Agreeing to every request might be easier in the moment, but you know you’ll hate yourself afterwards for juggling a million things with no time for yourself just because you couldn’t say one damn word - NO! In your head, this could come off as uncaring or selfish because it means letting some people down, causing them to dislike you for it or be criticized. There is however an upside to this: you’ll gain some respect for yourself and set some boundaries.  Just because you made a commitment in the heat of the moment, it doesn’t mean you need to actually follow it through. You can change your mind and graciously remove yourself from the commitment you made - if you also add a little heartfelt honesty in there most people will appreciate it. As I’m a recovering pushover and YES woman, I still don’t master saying NO but I work on it every chance I get. When I’m not caught off guard, I say “I’ll think about it and get back to you”. If however I am taken by surprise, I might agree on the spot and decline later when I realize that I actually don’t want to do something or I can’t because I have no time for it.

Sometimes I still go ahead with things I don’t want to do because I want to help others or get outside my comfort zone - but that is something that I am willing to take responsibility for. No matter why you decide to not say NO, make sure you are at peace with this compromise, for the right reasons.

Understand your values and stand by them

You see, I understand my values and I stand by them as much as possible. But the reality is, there will be times when you’ll need to compromise a little. I mostly experienced this on a professional level. Values are in essence rules of conduct you live by - but there will be situations with some people where you will never win. In your personal life it’s slightly easier because you can cut people out of your life, reduce contact with them or ghost them. But at work you might be forced to collaborate with people that make your life a living hell - passive aggressive, selfish, ego-centered assholes, “cult leaders”, people that do the bare minimum and don’t care how it affects others. So it’s important to stand by who you are whilst still being able to adapt to working with toxic people that won’t give a shit about your values and boundaries - yay! Welcome to adulthood.

Don’t be selfish and ego-centered

Newsflash! Not everything is about you! It’s ok to be selfish and ego-centered when it comes to your self-preservation and wellbeing, as long as you don’t shove this down everyone’s throat. These traits come off in a negative light when you can’t have a proper conversation with someone because they make any topic about themselves and their experiences 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I too talk about myself with people but it’s one thing to share a story and another to not even listen to what people are saying and constantly wait for a cue to talk about yourself. I think this occurs when you have no life outside school or work - and I’ve been this person, not gonna lie. The funny thing is that I had zero confidence in myself but still came off as a selfish ego-centered bitch based on this behaviour. So try not to be selfish and ego-centered to the point where no one wants to ever talk to you again.

Conclusion

Becoming your own person takes a lot of work, resources and time. However, it’s one of the best investments in yourself that you can ever make. It not only improves your life both on a personal and professional level, but it opens doors to new friendships and new opportunities. Remember: staying true to yourself is a journey, not a destination. Have a great trip! ✨

[dirtyfinger]

This #DIRTYTHURSDAYPARTY!

It’s a 90s NIGHT at @houseofyesnyc w/ @DIRTYFINGER & @jamesmulry.

House of Yes presents: Dirty Thursday - 90s Night! Free! RSVP: bit.ly/2wJA1DM Nostalgia overload. Delicious Kitsch. Throwback mashups! So much 90’s from: DJ Dirtyfinger (House of YES) https://beta.mixcloud.com/DIRTYFINGER/ & James Mulry (Black Label) https://beta.mixcloud.com/jamesmulry/ The best of the 90’s all in one place, all mixed up and themed to throwback perfection- old school hits, regrettable fashion choices and fads that have come and gone and come back even harder. Boy bands. Girl groups. Fishnets and fierceness. Grunge flannel fabulousness. Doc Martins forever.  Embrace your filth on our dance floor. Shake it off, sweat yourself clean, and get dirty all over again. Flirt till it hurts. Drink water. Drink everything. Get off your phone. Get into the groove.  Its Free. FREE. 21+ House of YES 2 Wyckoff Ave, Brooklyn, New York 11237 (Get Facebooked)

Let’s go here:

***As always, we love to give free drinks to people in our favorite costume/looks, or those who make us laugh or those who have crazy amazing dance energy. BRING IT.*** :::::::: CONSENT POLICY ::::::: Behave with beauty, connect with intention. We are obsessed with Consent. Always ASK before touching anyone in our House. If someone is violating your boundaries or harassing you, please speak to a security guard or any staff member. We have a zero tolerance policy for harassment. If you feel something, say something, and we will help. Questions about consent culture at House of Yes? Let us know: consent@houseofyes.org. ::::::: COMMUNITY & ACCESSIBILITY ::::::: This is a space for everyone to feel welcome and loved. Racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, or any other form of discrimination will not be tolerated at our House. All restrooms in our venue are gender neutral. Everyone is free to use the restroom that best fits their gender identity or expression. All entrances and spaces within the venue are single-level. There are stairs leading to the upper portions of the stage, for those who wish to dance in the spotlight. Strobe lights are used during performances and parties.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

23 things on 'The Office' you've never noticed before

The Office is truly the show that keeps on giving.

Though the NBC comedy has been off the air since 2013, the discussion surrounding it is still very much alive. To this day, fans keep finding new, hilarious Easter eggs in the show.

The more than 750,000 diehards who come together on r/DunderMifflin to chat about the program are experts at pointing out the hidden details they pick up mid-rewatch. 

We've compiled 23 of the best. Find out how well you really know your stuff.

SEE ALSO: The 65 absolute best moments from 'The Office'

1. David Wallace *also* has a world's best boss mug

If you thought Michael Scott was the sole best boss in the world, you're wrong! At least according to the desk mugs ...

Turns out David Wallace, chief financial officer of Dunder Mifflin, has a World's Best Boss mug on his desk, too. It's visible in the Season 2 episode, "Valentine's Day." It's black and has a more obnoxious font than Michael's. It's unclear whether David Wallace bought his own mug.

Will the real World's Best Boss please stand up? Oh look, it's Michael!

Image: the office/netflix

2. Michael uses his own brand of salad dressing

In the second episode of Season 4, Michael and Jan are chatting about ageism in his office while eating salads. Everything seems normal until you look closely: The salad dressing on the table is Michael Scott's own personal brand, "Great Scott."

Great Scott!

Image: the office/netflix

The jar is adorned with a homemade label featuring Michael's face and a bowl of salad. Thanks to a deleted scene from the previous episode, "Fun Run," we know all about it. 

"What do I look like to you, Paul Newman? That's actually not a good example, because I have been compared to a young Paul Newman, my eyes and my face. And I make my own salad dressing," Michael says in the deleted scene, which starts around 4:10. "I mix Newman's Ranch with Newman's Italian. Sell it at flea markets for a slight loss. I could make ... I could make a profit if I changed one of the ingredients to Wishbone, but I won't do it."

3. That Dunder Mifflin Newsletter was trolling us

In Season 1, Episode 4, viewers get a glimpse of an old Dunder Mifflin Employee Newsletter. The Easter egg lies within the text.

In a classic move, the people writing the words didn't take the time to crank out a full article. Rather, they wrote a bit of sensical information followed by absolutely anything.

"A lot of useless information"

Image: the office/netflix

"Welcome to yet another exciting edition of the Dunder Mifflin Employee Newsletter," the article begins quite reasonably. But by the second paragraph, things get meta.

"As anybody can easily tell, this newsletter doesn't really have a lot to say. It's really just a prop to fill some space and sort of look like a newsletter without really being much of a newsletter at all ... In fact, at times we can probably get away with not using real English words, such as kjgavbiwiwpo..."

This isn't even the only time The Office writers did this. Now you know!

4. Jim signs Meredith's pelvis cast "John Krasinski"

Remember when Michael hit Meredith with his car and she had to get a cast on her pelvis? John Krasinski does! Because in Season 4, Episode 3, he signed it ... as himself, not his character Jim Halpert! Whoops.

Hmm ...

Image: the office/netflix

5. Stanley's resolution was, um, telling

In "Gossip," the first episode of Season 6, Dunder Mifflin Scranton learns Stanley's been cheating on his wife, Teri, with some woman named Cynthia. In Season 7, Episode 13, it's crystal clear that hasn't changed. Stanley's resolution card literally says, "To be a better husband and boyfriend." Boy, have you lost your damn mind?

To be fair, everyone's resolutions are a lot.

Image: the office/netflix

6. Oscar's drinkin' prop wine

Oscar was so excited to drink the wine in Season 8, Episode 12, no one realized the prop label was still on the bottom of the bottle. If you pause the episode you can clearly see a piece of tape with the word "Oscar" on that bottle of, um, Chateau Galmon?

"I am Bacchus, God of wine!"

Image: the office/netflix

7. Michael keeps his broken plasma on the wall for a while

Michael and Jan broke up after all hell broke lose in the Season 4 episode, "Dinner Party," but he held onto a key reminder of his ex well into Season 5.

In "Dream Team," Pam visits Michael's place to start the Michael Scott Paper Company, and his pride and joy — the mini plasma TV Jan shattered by throwing a Dundie Award at it — is still mounted on the wall. The most hilarious part of the situation? Michael clearly got a new television, which he placed directly under the broken flatscreen, neglecting to trash the old one. 

Could it be he wasn't ready to let go — or that Jan mounted it on the wall and he had no idea how to take it down? We may never know.

Two TVs ...

Image: the office/netflix

8. He then attempts to sell the broken plasma

Finally, in "Garage Sale," Episode 19, of Season 7, Michael is finally ready to part with his tiny broken plasma. But rather than throw it out, he attempts to SELL IT at the warehouse garage sale. Come on, dude.

Nope.

Image: the office/netflix

9. Return of the clown art

Speaking of that warehouse garage sale, another familiar object was for being sold: That creepy clown painting that used to be stuck to the walls of Jim and Pam's house (aka, Jim's parent's old house). Wonder how they finally got it off the wall ...

No one will buy that clown painting.

Image: the office/netflix

10. Bob Vance was possibly a marketing genius

Any fan of The Office knows that Phyllis' husband, Bob Vance (of Vance Refrigeration), loves to plug his business whenever he gets the chance. 

But one theory considers the idea that Bob Vance wasn't simply trying to market Vance Refrigeration to Dunder Mifflin employees — instead, perhaps he was constantly repeating his company name for the cameras filming the Dunder Mifflin documentary in hopes that if the footage ever aired it'd be free advertising. Genius.

11. Michael ate tiramisu from the trash

This one's kind of a long story, but in Season 5, Episode 10, Jim gives Pam a piece of tiramisu as a peace offering after going out to lunch with Michael.

Pam rejects the offering and throws the tiramisu away, but in a later scene we see Michael eating a piece of tiramisu at his desk. Though some speculate Michael also brought tiramisu back from the restaurant, he's seen walking into the office alongside from Jim empty-handed and even claps at a joke.

Michael later takes a shot at Pam, scolding her for throwing away "perfectly good tiramisu" just because it has a hair on it, so all signs point to him digging Pam's dessert out of the trash.

12. This extremely deep paper clip find

In Season 5, Episode 1, Michael introduces Pam to the office's replacement receptionist, Ronnie, via video chat, explaining that Ronnie is unable to find "those little colored paper clips" he likes so much.

Somehow, an Easter egg mastermind discovered that Jim and Pam's license plate, CHD-0032, is the model number for those clips Michael likes. (If you Google the plate number, they come up.) 

13. Jim's title in Stamford was "Assistant Regional Manager"

Dwight spent season after season begging for the title "Assistant Regional Manager" instead of "Assistant to the Regional Manager," and all Jim had to do to get it was transfer to the Stamford branch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In Season 3, Episode 6, Jim falls asleep at his desk, and we get a peek at that nameplate, baby!

The real deal

Image: the office/netflix

14. Creed's fake name is the actor's real name

In Season 4, Episode 4, Creed Bratton — the character on The Office played by actor Creed Bratton — explained that whenever he gets into financial trouble, he transfers his debt to a man named "William Charles Schneider." Turns out William Charles Schneider is actor Creed's real name, and there's a good chance that's his real passport.

15. Michael's wallet looks like a '90s DIY project

Does Michael Gary Scott carry around a bedazzled wallet? That's absolutely what it looks like...

16. Jim wears a wig in Season 3

John Krasinski's received some feedback on Jim's floppy hair over the years, but if things looked a little off in Season 3, it wasn't his fault.

Krasinski had to cut his hair short for his role in the film Leatherheads, which gave him no choice but to wear a wig during the last six episodes of The Office's third season. Krasinski further explains his hair challenges in this interview starting at around 2:15.

Wig Tuna

Image: the office/netflix

17. St. Patrick's Day celebrations were lit

Season 6, Episode 19 is dedicated to St. Patrick's Day, and the office really goes all out. For example, did you notice Michael has an Italian flag on his desk instead of an Irish one, or that they dyed the water in the community water cooler green? LOL.

The closest the Irish get to Christmas

Image: the office/netflix

Image: the office/netflix

18. Andy's Call of Duty username is extremely Andy

Viewers get a glimpse of Andy playing Call of Duty in Season 3, Episode 5 of the show. If you look closely you'll see his username is a very fitting "Here Comes Treble" — named after his college a cappella group, who we later hear about in the Season 9 episode, "Here Comes Treble."

Image: the office/netflix

19. Creed possibly has a mugshot hanging at his desk

Does Creed casually have his mugshot hanging above his desk? Honestly, we wouldn't put it past him.

20. Jim's last name is misspelled on his wedding sign

Congrats to Pam Beesly and Jim HalpRET on their wedding. Was this a typo or an intentional joke? We can't keep track anymore.

Hmm...

Image: the office/netflix

21. Wait, who is that?

You know when TV shows like actors so much they bring them back to play other roles in the future? How about when they replace a character with a different actor and expect viewers not to notice or to be totally fine with it? The Office is guilty of doing both of those things.

Image: the office/netflix

Dwight's nephew in the show's final season was also an extra in Season 7's "WUPHF.com" episode. Elizabeth, the stripper hired throughout the course of the show, appeared in the "Ben Franklin," "Fun Run," and "Finale" episodes, yet not everyone seemed to remember her. Andy's parents and Pam's mom were recast throughout the series. And Dwight hired Devon, the employee Michael fired in Season 2, back in the finale.

22. John Krasinski shot the opening Scranton footage

This one's less of a "did you notice?" and more of a "did you know?" but John Krasinski, the man you know and love as Jim Halpert, is semi-responsible for the iconic Office intro. According to TV Guide, Krasinski shot scenes from the opening credits sequence while on a research trip.

23. There's a nod to the UK version of the show

What would the U.S. version of The Office be without a reference to the UK version of the series? 

The address of Dunder Mifflin's Scranton office is 1725 Slough Avenue, Scranton, PA, which is special because there's a town in the UK called Slough, where the UK version of the show just so happens to take place. 

Image: screengrab/google maps

And that's not all. When you search in the Scranton branch's address in Google maps it shows Pennsylvania Paper & Supply Company, the building that's featured in the intro footage, and Poor Richards Pub, the Dunder Mifflin employees' go-to place for Happy Hour.

So there you have it, fans. The writers, cast members, and show runners of your favorite comedy were even more clever than you realized. Now it's time to re-watch the show and see if you can spot any other hidden treasures.

WATCH: What is the cast of ‘The Office’ doing now?

[jjillekkot]

2017 is ending ! and so should this bullying & negativity !

2017 has been a tough year on everyone. Regardless of where you live on this globe, we’ve all suffered in one way or another. From the US election to Brexit, from the terrorist attacks in London and Manchester to the ethnic cleansing in Myanmar. We’ve survived hurricanes and tropical storms in Texas, Florida, Puerto Rico and the Philippines. The mass shooting in Las Vegas. Even now in the height of Christmas season, California’s fires burn on. Palestinians are being illegally arrested, detained and displaced every day. Not to mention Net Neutrality battles in the US and Canada. No matter where you might be, something has affected you.

And outside of just the world news, the RPC has dealt with many things. We’ve seen hate crimes and suicides. Toxicity and bullying beyond belief. Ageism and accusations. There’s been so much hurt that the community has inflicted upon itself. So here’s a list of things that the RPC can work on in 2018.

AGEISM. Fandom is a place for people of all ages. It’s not just for teenagers and not merely for adults. This is applicable for both sides. There’s so many people who say “ Don’t talk to me if you’re under 18 ! Stop lying about your age ! “ and similarly there are others who say “ You’re too old for this fandom ! Focus on your own life and get your own hobbies ! “ What both of y’all need to understand is that roleplaying is a collaborative activity. And not only that, it’s such a large community that you could easily just go from one blog to another. To damn a whole age group for an individual experience is toxic and close-minded. Those who are underage still have a place here-- because it probably figures that you were online when you were underage. And for those who are underage, don’t get yourself into activities that could easily get the other party into legal trouble. Respect each other’s boundaries; and if you can’t play nicely, don’t play at all. There are so many variations of characters, of fandoms, of portrayals that you can very easily just... move on elsewhere. Do that, and do so quietly.

ANONYMOUS HATE. Or even, just hate in general. It should just be a rule in general: if you don’t have anything positive or constructive to say, don’t say it at all. It’s not that hard to just move on to another blog. If it makes you uncomfortable to see someone on your dash, unfollow them. Still there? Blacklist them. Tumblr Savior gives you the option to remove the banner that notifies you if an item has been hidden from your dash. It’s like they’re not around at all. Afraid they’ll message you? Block them. And one additional option would be to speak up if you can be non-spiteful about your message, clear the air, and go in peace. No reason to just be nasty to people. 

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE NEGATIVITY. I’m not counting vaguing because sometimes you need to be able to let people know about a situation without being too in detail: it can be a cry for help without being too obvious. But I mean just stirring the pot to see what will come of it. Just saying something negative to someone like “ No one cares about x ” or “ You know you should really do this or otherwise x. ” It’s childish & it shows a lack of accountability. People will ask for your opinion when they want it: otherwise you can probably keep it to yourself, or move on if the blog no longer suits your interests. No need to harass someone out of some sick sense of entertainment or pride. 

ACCUSATIONS. Get both sides of the story, understand the situation, make informed decisions. And then, once you do, keep things to yourself. You can warn your friends or something privately if you have a concern about someone based off of personal experience, but rumors spread so fast around here. Even if something is proven to be true, like say someone is bullying or being abusive, and they’re still active? It’s not your responsibility to continuously bully them about it. If you’re so concerned, contact an authority figure. If you know Tumblr Staff isn’t taking it seriously enough, then contact your local authorities-- online bullying is a serious thing that police are supposed to take seriously. If you think you have a real case-- or heck, even if you’re worried? Get serious and contact someone. Otherwise, if you don’t have any evidence to back up your accusation, or you’re just tagging along, you’re just another part of the problem. You are contributing to an unhealthy online culture. 

SHAMING. There’s a trend of claiming people are into pedophilia and bestiality, or even go on to call people rape and abuse sympathizers. That is not okay! At all! Some people write content to cope over something that occurred in their private lives. Some people want to experience writing something outside their comfort zone or daily lives. Some people are interested in experimentation. Whatever the cause may be, that’s no reason to call people anything. Do you not realize that if these victims-- yes, victims ( because that’s what they are ) could easily report you for abuse, and if inclined sue you in court for defamation of character? Because that’s what you’re doing, publicly slandering someone’s name out of something you personally don’t feel comfortable with. Don’t like someone’s interests? It’s probably tagged-- meaning you can blacklist it. Still uncomfortable? Chances are that there’s someone else who writes a similar enough style or character-- so unfollow. What authority do you have to blaspheme someone for the content they produce on their blog in their own space in their own comfort in their own time if it’s not hurting anyone else in the process?

FACECLAIM / POC BASHING. Which I think is a really interesting phenomenon because most of the time the people who call others out for their choice in face claim aren’t even of the race themselves? The idea of the faceclaim is to have that person pick a public face that matches the portrayal of the fictional character they’re writing, usually of an animated background. And it’s also gross to tag someone else to bash another person for you? I’ve been asked to publicly call out someone on their choice of FC-- and that’s disgusting. Don’t bully someone ‘cause of a personal preference. And if you’re trying to “ stand up “ for POC, which is what I assume this is supposed to be... you should probably just ask a POC what they think of the situation. But be prepared to like consider your thoughts wrong: ‘cause sometimes what you consider correct just... isn’t. I was asked to call out several people on “ white washing ” WOC, and honestly POC don’t come in a cookie cutter model... This isn’t to say I don’t appreciate the faceclaim resources made available: because those allow someone to make a valuable educated decision on a choice as opposed to a random Google search. But like, it’s not necessary to harass anyone over what you think might have triggered your radar. Instead, you could start a discourse without accusation, politely ask how the person made that decision, & then like if you don’t agree with the moral / ethical decision of that person idk,  move on.

DUPLICATE HATE. Discomfort is acceptable: and you can unfollow or blacklist or block, whatever you need to do to distance yourself from a duplicate should you feel uncomfortable with them. But under no means necessary is it necessary to bully, abuse, harass, slander or otherwise attack another person for sharing the same muse as you. Because unless it’s an OC, you don’t own rights to that character anyway, and the only person who has the authority to tell someone not to write a character is the person / company who owns the creative rights. If you’re not pleased with someone else’s portrayal of your character? Focus on your own, make it the best it can be. Produce the content you’d like to see about ‘ your ’ muse. Stop deflecting responsibility onto everyone else.

I am sure there’s plenty of stuff I’m missing out on, but these are things I’ve seen a lot over the year & while it’s probably a dream, I’d love to see change in 2018. But I think change begins a person at a time, and it begins with us. If this at least opened your eyes a little, then I’m glad. Let’s make this next year a better one.

[dykesinthethroneroom]

I'm here 4 ace ppl who align themselves with the community, and certainly y'all have faced a few real af challenges throughout history (although, not in any way to be dismissive, but I'm not sure y'all face yr own specific form of opression historically, it feels like a lot of that shit is rooted in some serious, old-school mysogyny with a little lesbophobia mixed in b/c men get insane, insecure, and profoundly entitled when ppl don't wanna fuck them. Furthermore states like to see population growth, anyone not engaged with reproduction is gonna probably have an eyebrow raised at them @ certain times and places within history....) But like sometimes it feels to me like y'all r really trying to position yrselves as most validly oppressed in this competitive, oppression-olympics-horrorshow kind of way that feels SUPER FUCKING BOGUS, like you really wanna be able to talk over gays, lesbians, and trans ppl in fucking particular, and play this game like b/c of various fascist social movements that were suspect of aging asexuals who weren't backing up the aggressively heteronormitive social structure and we're taking up too many resources in their old age without reproducing, that somehow your heteroromantic, white, ace, 19year-old-dumb-ass is entitled to shout over LGBT folx who have been consistently dying in the streets all over the world for a couple hundred years now and proclaim yourselves as not only a core part of this community, but also as being on the bleeding edge of the forefront of the struggle right besides trans folx.... Then you wanna use that position to police how LGBT folx act and the language we use to contextualize our experiences, language that is ours to make new use of and reclaim..... Like if yr just interested in citing various specific incidents of historical oppression (that imho have more to do with mysogyny, homophobia, and ageism, frankly, not so much aphobia as some specifically separate thing) in order to claim some kind of historicaly passed-down suffering-based social capital and then use that to speak over the words, concerns, & experiences of LGBT folx, then y'all can suck this big tranny dick cause I'm not here for that. Funny, it's like everyone out here wants to be a faggot and weild social power over trans women & black/brown folx in the community, but as soon as the brown-shirts march into town yall'll pack that shit right up and cling to yr supportive, soft, cis-het boyfriend and back into the shadows, cause of course, who'd want to actually own being a faggot once that means experiencing the extensive social consequences for that..................

there's a little more in the notes.