#to carry inside of me always

[coiled-dragon]

Sometimes I wanna write poetry about how I feel about People but then im afraid it'll be recognized by the people it is about

[martyrbat]

perpetual mourning – batman black and white (1996) #1

[ID: a black and white panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as Batman investigating a murder. He performed an examination of the victim's body and found DNA evidence to convict her killer and then performed an autopsy to examine her stomach contents — which led him to a little 24/7 diner. He walks in, disrupting the cozy scene with his presence.

Bruce internally reflects, ‘People think i'm a knight. A savior. But in truth, I'm only a vessel to hold the memories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them. They must think I revel in my victories. It must seem like I never lose a fight. I lose plenty. The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.’

He shows the only waitress a photo of the victim's face and asks, “Excuse me. Do any of you know this woman?” The waitress gasps and holds her hand to her head in shocked distress. She stammers, “That's Chelsea, she comes in here all the time. Sits in the same booth, the same time, reads the same book... um, what was the title...? She, uh, left here only a couple of... Why do you... Oh, god. No. Dear girl...”

Back at the morgue, Bruce solemnly gazes down at the woman as she lays in an unzipped body bag. He thinks, ‘Luckily, you hadn't digested your last meal, Chelsea. There're only a few places in the neighborhood where you were found that serve blueberry pie at this hour of the morning.’ He carefully zips the body bag entirely. The identification label states she was a thirty year old caucasian female. The name ‘Jane Doe’ has been scribbled out to now be replaced with ‘Chelsea Rain’. Bruce continues to ruminate, ‘You only have your thoughts and dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now. Forever.’ END ID]

[silver-horse]

the water brand I usually buy has started to recycle their plastic bottles so I have to collect them and the stores will pay a bit of money for the empty bottles. I just handed over all my bottles to my parents so that they can take them back. But many of my collected bottles are a little uneven with dents on them because I drink directly from the bottle. So my mom tells me "I told you to stop sucking them out like a vampire" 😭 and "leave a bit of space next to your mouth for the air to go inside when you are drinking. Don't put your whole mouth around it like it's a dick." MOMMM PLEASE 😭

[dreamlogic]

musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"

[kicktwine]

So how was stormblood? I know it's very hit or miss for people, so what're your thoughts?

I understand why it’s hit or miss! It — to get to the point i would be straight up lying if I said I was an unbiased consumer because I’m not, I’m a coastal American mid 20s rando with a Lot of very current cultural baggage around concepts like patriotism and freedom. And Hamilton references. It all has a sweet and strong and very anti-occupation message (along with themes I very much enjoy dissecting like the constant assertion that it Doesn’t Have To Be This Way, or the expansion into You may not understand this person but you must be able to accept them,) but when combined with Stormblood’s shakier coherence in writing and dialogue and pacing, it comes off as A Bit Off. to me. And I think it missed ever so slightly just due to how it was all structured and set up with the characters we have and motivations we have because the stuff OUTSIDE or Adjacent to the main story, despite how out of place it could feel, was structured great!! Like the Kojin and the Ananta trial and the Kugane mishaps and trying to murder Zenos twice and the ghost ship. Could the main structure have come across very well yes absolutely! It does it on and off it succeeds in there often! But sometimes it doesn’t. I can see a lot of where concepts were promised and not fully delivered, pacing was a bit off, things just happened without really belonging there (despite how much I loved Susano, he could have been better structured. same with many instances and also I feel like the unethical science should have been MORE IMPORTANT THAN IT — maybe it comes back. Who is that scientist.), sometimes dialogue felt somewhat canned. I feel like in a consequences-heavy expansion, many things just didn’t have important consequences, which was very strange

HOWEVER! I cannot give the new gameplay features abd dungeons any crap they are all SO GOOD. And so PRETTYYYYY. And there were so many solo duties that ruled! Every dungeon in this expansion was like whoa this is a PLACE im in you know what I mean??? I’m in a place that’s big and there’s people and there’s NEW MECHANICS and active time maneuvers (??!!!!!!!) and unique fights! I can jump on the roofs in Kugane! And, mind you, when the dialogue was good, it was good. Lyse has a fantastic voice actor. Alisaie is my favorite girl elf creature in thw world. Estinien is like the best p- the guy ever. also m’naago is my new friend. The tower was a great part of sb to me despite my singular gripe. I think Zenos’— I know it’s controversial to some people because he does assume your wol to be a bit more murderous than some people would prefer their characters be and doesn’t take no for an answer, but his um speech did something to my brain a little bit

ON that note the ending was very fast?????? Or like — not FAST, but I wasn’t expecting Zenos or Shinryu to go down in one fight. Two co-op fights, right next to each other. I kind of wanted to beat him up myself. And when Zenos was so impossible to beat before. I was expecting both of them to be WAY harder. Though Shinryu is a COOL fight I’d do the royal menagerie again in a second. I was kind of expecting a three stage trial? Like Nidhogg? I love going into space hiiii big dragon where were you this whole time… u were shafted… but u could not be suffered to live so. Maybe if we’d gotten an instance of fighting the dragon alone after beating the trial?? Could have been Themes. I don’t know

anyways no I can’t quite pin it down, but I’ve said it before I think they had the outline for the story and then built it and went oh this is too much and not enough at the same time and got stuck writing the whole thing after getting stuck in the story they already had. A COMMENDABLE job for getting turned around like that, way better than a lot of video games stories out there, good gameplay and areas that didn’t feel too empty. glances at coerthas falcons nest area. I think the ways they did the exploration thing was good, having us venture further into occupied territory etc, but so much exploration stuff felt oneoff and not there to do much for someone who has been skipping almost all of the side content except stuff I’ve been told is good. It almost felt like they were Trying New Stuff a lot, and some of it succeeded some of it failed. Such is trying stuff!! Such is trying to imitate what you had while making something new and exciting! And I can’t fault them for that

so like — putting aside the fact that I haven’t done post-sb which is like missing 40% of the Thing according to past expansions and my thoughts very well might change, i would 100% do the fights again, maybe watch some cutscenes, but I don’t think I’d NG+ this one. where is that lady selling buuz it is a CRIME i did not get to have any buuz let me buy one yoshi p

[iftitah]

my mom's college is sooo nostalgic 😭

[heartual]

my cousin rescued a stray cat and then left her in my grandpa’s garage because his apartment doesn’t allow pets? hello?

[archiveofyearning]

.

[danithefangirlbunny]

just so y'all know inside (2021) and inside the outtakes (2022) still hits as hard as they did when they came out

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello. I would kindly request something for the Pokémon AU please. Gil still recovering from the whole poison thing and everyone there is helping him whenever they can, even Thenas most stubborn Pokémon. Thank you!

"Shit!"

Gil stumbled, nearly toppling all the way over before a psychic aura caught his fall. He blinked as he floated upright again. He would have expected Ninetales or even Froslass to be responsible for it, but it was neither. "Uh, th-thanks."

Gallade just glared at him, picking up one of the bags and walking out of the room.

It had been a harrowing week, Gil had learned. He was only leaving their room in the pokemon centre because they needed it for more critical patients. He wouldn't be cleared to work again for a while. He wanted to insist that he was fine, but he felt weak. And he had put Thena and Teddiursa - and poor Dragonite - through enough.

Thena looked like she hadn't slept all week. And she and their little cub wouldn't let go of each other for anything--it was like when he was a baby all over again. He kept catching them staring at him, like they were expecting him to get worse again.

The Audino and Chansey had looked him over and given him a full pass if he rested. Even the human doctors and nurses agreed he could be released.

"Hey, move slowly," Thena whispered as she came over to him. She tucked herself under his arm as if he had been limping and needed a crutch. "You're coming straight home, anyway."

Gil eyed the doorway where Gallade had all but stomped away with his stuff. "He doesn't seem too happy with me."

Thena's eyes drifted away. "It's been a tough week--on all of us."

That implied that Gallade had been worried for him too. But Gil thought it was much more likely that the Blade Pokemon was frustrated with him purely for the stress he had caused Thena.

Gil paused, making Thena halt with him. He raised his hand to her cheek. He knew it was impossible, but he could swear she had lost weight in the week he'd spent in bed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She smiled for him, at least. But it really only served to emphasize that she had dark circles under her eyes, her cheeks felt sunken and she was lacking the usual sparkle she had. Naturally, her eyes were as vibrant as a dawn stone, but now they just seemed...sad. "I'm happy you're on your feet."

He sighed as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I really put you through hell and Hoenn water, huh?"

She didn't disagree with him, but she patted his chest. "You're coming home, that's all that matters."

"Has Dragonite been staying with you?"

"Yes, although I fear we'll need more room," she lamented in good humour as she helped him drag himself out of the room and from the poison ward all together. She gave him a poke, "no more big pokemon."

"So I shouldn't come home with a Tyrannitar or a Snorlax, you mean?"

She laughed, and he felt better as soon as he heard it. "Absolutely not--keep it small. No bigger than a Munchlax."

Even young Munchlax could be hundreds of kilos in weight, so that really wasn't an option for their little house on the hill either.

"Froslass?"

"Hey, I'm okay," he smiled at the ice/ghost type hovering close. He must have really scared them all if she was floating around completely visible. "I'll get some rest and be good as new."

Dragonite gave him the biggest, saddest eyes a dragon could muster.

"Oh, come on buddy," Gil chided lightly. Dragonite leaned down to let his snout be petted gently. "Don't look at me like that. You can come and see me as soon as you're done work."

"Teddi?"

Ah, their sweet little bear cub, growing up so fast. Gil patted between his ears, finally in good proportion with his head. "You too, buddy. You can't skip work to stay home with me."

Teddiursa pouted a little, but Thena nuzzled the crescent moon in his fur and pressed a kiss there. "You are a junior ranger, my Luvdisc, you have responsibilities."

The pressure from his Mama made him pout even more, even cross his little arms. But he agreed, "Ted-Teddi."

"You sit," Thena helped him into one of the seats in the main waiting area. She set Teddiursa in his arms as well, "I'll get your ride ready."

He figured it would be Dragonite, like always. But Dragonite's harness did require some holding, even with the safety buckle. Maybe she'd called a pokemon taxi. He sighed.

"Gal-Gallade."

Gil blinked as Gallade set his bag down at his feet and sat next to him. He leaned forward, resting his weight on his knees(?) in a way that would have Thena scolding him to sit up straight. "Thanks."

"Gal."

Gil idly rubbed Teddiursa's back, seated on his knee. He looked at Gallade. "Sorry, for all this, I mean. I'm sure it hasn't been easy on you."

Gallade looked towards the front doors of the pokemon centre. His concern wasn't really for himself, but for his trainer. "Gallade."

Gil winced. Thena had been through too much because of this. Gallade was right to be angry with him. "I'll make it up to her."

"Lade," he scoffed. Gallade was a pokemon of few words, especially when he had to listen to them.

Gil ruffled his hair, a subconscious move in substitute of reaching for his ranger hat. "I didn't mean to get poisoned, y'know."

Oh, now it was the silent treatment.

Gil rolled his eyes. Gallade had been increasingly hostile since the beginnings of his and Thena's relationship turning romantic. He sighed, "look, I'll take care of her. These things...just happen."

"Gallade!"

Gil startled, as did a few other patrons. He hadn't expected such a strong rebuttal about taking care of himself. "Uh, I usually take care of himself-"

"Gal-Gallade, Gal," the pokemon rolled its eyes. He even crossed his arms and rested one of his feet(?) on his knee(???).

"I do," Gil scowled at the childish feeling argument--and with his girlfriend's pokemon, no less. But he watched Gallade's annoyed eyes and shifty body language. He sat back again. "These are the risks of the job, bud. I know that, and Thena does too."

Gallade said nothing.

Gil moved a little in his seat. Gallade was far past the age when it wanted to be petted like a Skitty. But he tried to catch its eye, "I am sorry, though. I know I worried you all."

Gallade had been worried about him. And now that he was better, he could experience the fighting/psychic's full annoyance as a result. "Gallade."

"I know." Gil had heard all about the pokemon's care of him. Gallade had used hypnosis to put him in a state even the pain killers and sedatives couldn't achieve.

Gallade eyed the door again before looking at him, and then swatting at him. "Gallade-Gal!"

"Okay, geez," Gil held up his hands before Gallade stood and walked outside, presumably sensing the return of its trainer. Gil looked around sheepishly at the guests. He cleared his throat, "sorry."

An older woman smiled in her seat, her Pansage on her lap. "Teenagers--he'll grow out of it."

"Hope so," Gil sighed. He looked down at Teddiursa, who hadn't spoken a word in his defense. "You were no help."

"Ted," the little bear turned his head. He was a little upset too, it seemed. Although Gil got the feeling he was mostly copying his big brother, more than anything.

"Okay, come on," Thena came back in, holding out her hand. Gallade left her side to - still scowling at him! - offer his support.

"Thanks," he sighed, standing with a heavy groan. He looked at Gallade, offering its blade like it was assisting an old man. "I can walk, y'know."

"Gal." It wasn't the first time Gallade had told him to shut up, and it probably wouldn't be the last either.

"Excuse me?" The stern words from his trainer did make the Blade Pokemon stand up a little straighter and lower his tone. She put her hands on her hips, "that's what I thought."

"Gallade."

Gil just chuckled. He was plenty used to it, and he had somewhat missed the chaos of his usual life in the silence of his private room. "None taken, buddy."

"Okay, let's go."

"Whoa," Gil blinked and smiled, dragging his feet over to his chauffeur. "It's been a while--how are you?"

"Altar," the Humming Pokemon cooed, letting Gil bend its long neck around to receive some head scratches. It no longer possessed the little antennae on top of its head but now had long, flowing ones. "Altaria!"

"Thanks, I guess I've been better, but it's good to see you," Gil grinned. It had been a long time since he had last seen the Swablu-turned-Altaria of Thena's. "You're my ride home?"

"I called," Thena confessed, also receiving some affection as Altaria leaned its head down to nuzzle her. "I know Dragonite can carry you, but the news of your condition brought him home anyway."

It was very sweet of the retired and technically freed pokemon to return to check on him. The dragon type passed through regularly of course, always checking up on Thena.

It nodded to Gallade, who nodded back. The two original party members of her team in this region conveyed an understanding that even the rest of her team lacked. Gallade offered a wave, which Altaria met with a slap of one of its antennae.

"Come on, then," Thena said gently, helping Gil ease onto Altaria's back.

"Thena, really, I'm-" his mouth shut as he sank into the sheer plushness of Altaria's downy feathers. It really was like sleeping on a cloud. "Wow."

Thena had on a smirk. She knew that he wouldn't be able to resist the offer of an Altaria, no matter how much he insisted he was well. "We'll meet you at home."

She gave him a last kiss on the cheek before asking Altaria ever so gently to fly him home slowly and smoothly. She gave her old pokemon a kiss on the tip of his beak, their foreheads pressed together before the flying pokemon took off lightly and smoothly.

He had never flown on an Altaria before, but wow it was luxurious. It would probably be more common if they weren't so tough to actually train, let alone evolve. Only the most ambitious trainers would go through the work of evolving a Swablu that wasn't purebred.

That was his Thena, though.

[rotisseries]

thoughts on cannibalism and/or blood drinking as symbolism for love? (including both healthy love and damaging/corrosive love)

OBSESSED with it to be quite honest it never gets old like it's the most intimate you can get with someone, to take a part of them into you fully and completely, but it's also an inherently selfish act to consume another to satiate your own hunger, feeding your most base and animalistic instinct with the flesh of a lover.... LIKEEEEEE. I fear cannibalism is a bit of a banger

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i miss wilde so much i’m gonna start screaming

[rustbeltjessie]

A new notebook for a new poetry project.

As mentioned a few posts prior to this one, I save everything. But I downright hoard notebooks/sketchbooks/journals. (Truly, if I were a dragon, I would be a dragon with a notebook hoard.) People gift them to me a lot; also, when I have extra $$ and see a pretty notebook or sketchbook, I buy it. That way, I always have a large stack (hoard) of unused blank books, and whenever I need one for a new project, I have many to choose from.

(May 1, 2023)

[bludraws094]

ykw im bored im gonna sing tme from memory in the tags

i memorized it probably at least over a year ago, idk i have no concept of Time

[bo0zey]

manic mixed depressive episode on my bday is so fun especially when ur going on 2 days no sleep n have a 12hr shift starting at the asscrack of dawn in 6hrs

[lit-in-thy-heart]

despite still having a ridiculous amount of unread books, i have opted for rereading a book instead.