#to how i used to do it. but id never do a big batch id just change the spec each time and make it a long ritual. comes out better that way

[smokeys-house]

What blends does Puukko put in her pipe... I wonder...

Back in her pirate days, it was pretty much just whatever got plundered from other ships! She didn't do much experimenting aside from trying whatever she got her paws on. These days, living in the lonely mountains, she tries to get dried or fresh herbs and unique blends from wherever her travels take her or from the odd traveling salesman. Usually, she'll mix up a big batch to have on hand for a while. Something like 3 parts tobacco, 1 part lavender buds, a pinch of rose petal, and 1/2 part mint for a little tingle on the back. But what she has on hand and the ratio she uses varies.

Ahhh I'm so glad people are taking an interest in her again lately, makes me all sorts of giddy when someone asks me about her! Thanks for the ask! ❤️

[momojedi]

now idk if youve been requested smth like this before but tbb finds reader (whos another clone child like omega)?? thatd be cool, id think!! gn reader btw 🫶🫶 ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING SM TY FOR WRITING THIS IF YOU DO

— FAMILY FOUND pairing. omega/clone force 99 x clone child! gn! reader

**

type. oneshot note. hi anon! thank you for your request, i'm incredibly happy to hear you like my writing! regarding your request, i hadn't thought of anything like that so far, but i love the idea - this is set during season one! the reader could technically be seen as disabled but i'll really leave that up to your interpretation. enjoy! warnings. needles, human experimentation, dehumanisation, sisterly omega fluff, big brother/dad batch, slight injury, potential reference to the blackwing virus, references to clone wars events word count. 2k

star wars masterlist || pinned post

Four hours.

That's how long you'd been running from the Empire and the claws of the Kaminoans, swiftly escaping the planet with the help of AZ-3. After a tearful farewell, the droid had tightly sealed the escape pod's hatch as well as your fate, leaving you to hold off the Kaminoans from tracking you as you fled Tipoca City, the place you once called your home.

When you landed on Ord Mantell, the sudden impact of the crash had swept you off your feet, chucking you to the floor with a loud bang. The intense pain that abruptly shot through your arm as well as the burning sensation that spread in your right cheek quickly lead you to realise that you needed to get a hold on some medical supplies as soon as possible.

"Where is it, where is it - kriff!"

Despite years of being reprimanded by Commander Colt not to curse and avoid the usage of bad words, you couldn't help but ignore your late brother's teachings when you sat back up on your knees after crawling out from under the pod's control panel. There wasn't a medkit in sight. You huffed, gripping your throbbing head with your healthy arm. "I must've hit my head," you whispered to yourself, squinting your eyes in pain. Slowly but surely some medical attention was starting to become really necessary, especially when you felt warm liquid dripping down your cheek.

You sat up. Perhaps you'd find some help in the inner city?

Ord Mantell was huge; bigger and much more crowded than Tipoca City you found yourself realising. Though, that view might've been influenced by the fact that, like most clone children, you'd never seen anything but Kamino throughout your entire life.

Time and time again had you sat among your brothers, listening intently to their adventurous tales fighting in the war and visiting various places throughout the galaxy. And although you felt bad for the loss and pain they went through day by day, you couldn't help but envy the wonderful worlds and systems they also had the chance to experience.

Unlike most clones, you hadn't been made to be a soldier but rather a subject to be tested on. Your entire purpose since you'd been born was to be a lab-rat, to endure tests and examinations in order to help the Kaminoans determine the breeding conditions of their next clones. You thought little of the Kaminoans, as most clones did. Their constant pricking of needles and blood letting made you feel sick and although you'd grown up on Kamino and were used to being dehumanised and seen as an object, a tool rather than a living being, you still hated the longnecks with a burning passion, silently enduring the torture they'd been putting you through. Naturally that also meant that you were made to suffer from various side effects of the experiments, such as age acceleration - or in your case, deceleration.

Unlike the usual clone, you aged slower, almost at the pace of a nat-born. You couldn't see very well due to visual tests they'd made for a special clone unit when you were very young and your hair was trimmed unevenly from being shaved off time and time again.

Naturally with that also came the judgement. Many of your brothers considered you a freak, curiously eyeing you and some times even mocking you. But even though there were many bad apples, you were proud to say that most of them had gladly taken you under their wing, partially having even grown up around you, and you couldn't be prouder of their accomplishments.

When the Empire took over and Admiral Tarkin arrived on Kamino, you swiftly developed a strong disdain for the imperial official and his scornful treatment of the clones. He frightened you with his skeletal appearance and judgemental expressions, scoffing at you when he'd first crossed you following a kaminoan scientist down the corridors of the city.

This disdain solidified when, from behind a window, you observed Tarkin handing obscure plans to Prime Minister Lama Su, signaling a clandestine exchange that left you feeling uneasy. Pressing your face against the glass to glean any insight, you overheard a conversation that sent shivers down your spine.

"I can assure you, CE-0003 will make a wonderful asset to project Blackwing—a low cost for such a risky intrusion; the potential loss won't be of any importance," Prime Minister Lama Su coldly stated, not bothering to acknowledge your presence. The mere mention of your designation number, CE-0003, served as a chilling reminder of the dehumanization endured by clones, but Tarkin's emphasis on "low cost" and "loss" struck an ominous chord, setting off alarm bells within your conscience.

Feeling the weight of an impending threat, you knew that the time had come to make a fateful decision. Unwilling to succumb to a potential death sentence or exploitation in the Empire's mysterious project, you resolved to escape Tipoca City. In the brightly lit corridors, your internal struggle reached a tipping point as you confronted the severity of your situation.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. "Kamino is in the past," you mumbled to yourself, avoiding looking straight at the faces that passed by. After all, who knew whether someone had been sent after you or not? The Kaminoans were a very ambitious species and although Ord Mantell was filled with dubious figures, you could not let your guard down just yet.

Your head was starting grow dizzier by the minute and your world was starting to spin. you quickly managed to get a grip on some metal structure to keep you steady - or at least as steady as possible - when a voice caught your attention nearby.

"Oh ... can assist you in any way?"

Only now did you realise that the metal you'd gotten a strong hold on was, in fact, plastoid armour. Immediately you pulled your hand away, apologising profusely, though halfway slurring your words. You weren't even able to make out the stranger's face as the world spun around you and before you knew it, you passed out, barely hearing the stranger calling out another name.

"Echo, come here!"

"A - a clone?"

Hunter and Echo's eyes were settled on Tech, whose own goggled pair were glued to his datapad, as usual. "Precisely," he responded matter-of-factly, "It appears that they apart of a specialised cloning program founded specifically for scientific and medical experimentation."

"You're meaning to tell me the longnecks tortured this child for some bioweapons and drugs?" Echo's voice was angry, his face twisted into a furious grimace as he turned away from your unconscious form whilst holding the bacta-soaked cloth he'd previously been dabbing the gaping burn on your cheek with. Tech huffed, eyeing his brother over the edge of his datapad. "Yes Echo, that is exactly what I'm telling you."

"Unbelievable," Echo scoffed, fist tightening around the cloth, "and to think we once fought alongside those monsters." With a deep sigh, Hunter pushed past his bickering brothers to look over your sleeping form. By now, they had made sure to patch up your broken arm and clean any leftover bruises, settling you down on one of the parlour’s benches. It didn't look necessarily comfortable but seeing as Cid had business to attend to, it was all they could come up with so far - Tech had even dug out Wrecker's civil poncho in the Marauder which you now were cozily wrapped in.

Hunter gingerly brushed the loose hair strands out of your face, watching you with softening eyes as he took over cleaning your bruising face. A small smile tugged on his lips at the sight of your peaceful expression. How would Omega react to you?

As if on cue, the loud chitter-chatter of Wrecker and their little sister erupted in the stairway of Cid's bar, turning the heads of the rest of the batch. Omega squealed excitedly when the giant clone set her down, running toward Hunter with a box of Mantell Mix in her hands.

"Hunter, look!" She chirped, holding out the sugary treat for the sergeant to see, "The nice lady added new toppings and - [name]?"

Her eyes fell upon you and suddenly, she forgot the world around her. Hunter raised a brow before exchanging a questioning look with Echo, who had quietly observed the interaction. Was that your name? How did she know you? Taking the box out of her hands and setting it on the table, the clone sergeant took Omega aside, kneeling to be at her eye level.

"Omega, do you know this child?"

With a worried expression at the sight of your wounds, she hesitated before nodding slowly. "Their name is [name]," her voice was hoarse as she kept an eye on you, "we both assisted the scientists in the medbay, back on Kamino ... they'd often do those weird tests on them, to the point they wouldn't show up for days afterwards." Hunter's blood boiled at the thought of the painful abuse you must've had to endure but he stayed composed. He had to focus on the task at hand after all.

"Are - are they okay?" Omega's eyes were wide as she glanced back at him. "They're alright so far," he slowly stood up, crossing his arms over his chest, "We took good care of their injuries. Tech and Echo found them earlier - they suspect they may have crashed nearby. Should that be the case, they can consider themselves lucky."

The light sound of a confused groan caught Hunter off-guard as he turned to look at you. "Well, look who's up."

You had squinted as your world had grown clearer with every passing second after you woke up, still trying to make out what was going on around you - until you had noticed the five figures standing in front of you. And then the panic set in. Had the Kaminoans already sent out people after you?

"Please don't bring me back," you had sniffled, hot tears already rolling down your cheeks, "I don't want to go back!" It had only been when a familiar girl had approached you with raised hands that you slowly but surely had started to calm down. "Omega?"

As it turns out, the men you had feared to be mercenaries were in fact the infamous Clone Force 99 that had gone rogue and deserted the Empire a few weeks before you escaped. Although you'd heard talk of them plenty of times from your brothers and the scientists, you had never met nor seen them in person as they were usually out on missions and only ever briefly stayed on Kamino. When Omega had left with them, you were heartbroken to see your sister go - most of your time was spent alongside her, after all.

By now, Cid, the Trandoshan woman the bar belonged to, had returned and to the Batch's apparent surprise, quickly took a liking to you; that or she at least pitied you enough to slide in a hot meal and grant you some company as she sat down with you and grunted every now and then while looking over her datapad. Either way, you weren't going to question it and simply enjoyed having the chance to fill your stomach after what felt like forever.

"So, how's AZ?" Omega had managed to squeeze in between you and Cid, eyes fixed on you. "He's okay," you mumbled between bites, "He helped me out a lot when I ... well ..." You frowned as you remembered your escape, setting down the spoon. Although you had fled with good reasons, you couldn't help but miss the place you had once called your home. Fortunately, Omega quickly caught on as she settled a hand on your shoulder with a warm smile.

"I know what it's like," her voice was firm and encouraging when she looked over her shoulder the other side of the bar, where the tall clone you'd earlier found out to be called Wrecker roared in frustration at one of the arcade games set up in the bar while the other, Tech, tried his best at explaining it to him. Echo, the one with the scomp arm, watched and shook his head with a sigh and the leader, Hunter, chuckled while playing with the vibroblade in his hand.

"Our brothers ... they know what they're doing. We keep each other safe," Omega then grabbed your hand tightly and grinned, "And as long as we're here, we'll keep you safe, too."

if you're interested in being tagged for my future works, let me know in my comments or by sending me an ask!

@patapouille @flyiingsly

[jessepinwheel]

I adore your Circuits series, and that you made obiwan and padme imperfect people and also thoroughly people. I won't ever get enough of clones being people in their own right, either, so if you feel inspired, maybe one of the clones being content in their life and not giving a thought to the Big Damn Heroes?

hi it's been a year but I've been writing race con and I wanted to write a thing where carrion isn't dead so here are some clones. warnings for kamino, I guess?

It is raining on the day CT-3122 leaves Kamino.

He is frightened--he is not ready to leave, hadn't expected to be deployed for another year and a half, at least--but the war is now over and General Windu had issued the transfer orders. All operations in Kamino are to cease--training stopped, medbay cleared, and the clones are to leave Kamino and transition to the civilian sector. In the month since the orders went out, hundreds to thousands of clones have filtered out of Kamino by the day, an exodus that CT-3122 hasn't seen since the war started. Except this time it's not just the oldest zero series and Series 1 clones getting shipped out--it's everyone, down to the youngest Series 4 batches. These days, Kamino feels very empty.

Now it is CT-3122's turn to leave.

Commander Colt told them to make their goodbyes. CT-3122 only had one goodbye to make--to Ossus Mu, his medical instructor. He knows that his brothers, even those among the medical track, do not like the Kaminoans, but Ossus Mu had taught him the art of medicine, how to navigate an autopsy, how to surgically repair a body. In all the four years CT-3122 has known her, she has been patient, never yelling or getting upset with his speech issues. She was not indulgent or easy to please, but she was calm where the trainers had been harsh, and CT-3122 does not think he would have survived Kamino if not for her. So he told her goodbye.

"You are a credit to my teachings, CT-3122," she had told him. "I hope you will put your skills to good use in the future."

It was the first time CT-3122 had been praised so strongly, and he'd been giddy as he saluted her one last time.

He will miss her.

CT-3122 owns nothing but his medical uniform and ID badge, so that is all he takes with him to the transport. Other brothers bring their armor if they are old enough to have any, and some bring small items and bags--undoubtedly some kind of contraband, but the Jedi had told them to bring everything.

He goes up the ramp, gets registered, and settles down in one of many seats.

All the clones had been given a choice, back when the transfer orders had first gone through. They could go to a few places--the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, the Jedi Service Corps, or one of a few sanctuary planets across the galaxy. They were not required to stay where they picked, but they would remain there for at least a short time to acclimatize to civilian life and, if they chose, make their own way in a galaxy where the war they had been designed for no longer existed.

It is a frightening prospect.

CT-3122 is going to Alderaan. It is a popular choice. There is an established and rapidly-growing clone community, there are many options for occupational training, and according to brothers who have been deployed, it has a very agreeable climate. CT-3122 does not care about any of those things--he is not generally comfortable around brothers he does not know, he already has all the occupational training he could ever want, and he has no basis for comparison when it comes to any climate besides Kamino. He is going there for one reason only: his big brother, Carrion, is there.

One by one, brothers file onto the transport, a mishmash of white armor and cadet uniforms. There's about two hundred of them in total, and it's a slow process to get everyone on board.

One brother sits next to CT-3122. It's Freeze, with her curly hair clipped back and the bright yellow adenosine molecule that CT-3122 had tattooed just below her eye. She's a medical unit and only a few months older, specializing in anesthesiology. CT-3122 has been partnered with her since the beginning of the war, and they work well together. They're not friends, exactly--CT-3122 isn't good at making friends--but they're more than just colleagues. She is confident where CT-3122 is not, and he is comforted by her presence.

"Are you scared?" he signs, low so nobody else sees it.

Freeze smiles and nods. "I've never been more scared," she signs back.

The last of the clones board the transport and the doors lock. Everyone is a little bit nervous, a little bit excited--for almost everyone on this transport, this is the first time they will see the galaxy outside Kamino. A quick glance around reveals that he and Freeze are some of the youngest clones aboard, only seven and a half years apiece. Most brothers their age or younger had chosen to go to the Jedi Temple or to Service Corps--somewhere they can learn, can work, can have someone to tell them what they need to do.

The transport shudders as the powerful engines come alive. Freeze slides her hand into CT-3122's and squeezes tightly. CT-3122 squeezes back.

The transport takes off, and CT-3122's stomach lurches. It's not the first time he has ever been on a ship--all units are required to know the basics of piloting--but the last time he was on a ship was over a year ago, and never on something this large. The ship vibrates unpleasantly all the way down to his bones as it rockets out of atmo, and then with a peculiar pulling sensation, it launches to hyperspace.

In a flash of blue light, they leave Kamino--their lives, their purpose, their home--behind. They will likely never return.

---

The trip to Alderaan takes two days. Two days aboard an unfamiliar ship as they sail through hyperspace. CT-3122 stays with Freeze for most of it, because everyone else on the transport is a stranger. Combat units do not, as a rule, interact much with medical units--they're put off by the fact that medical units are trained directly by the Kaminoans and their course modules after the age of four rarely overlap. Except for a few older medical units coming to briefly check on them, everyone leaves them alone.

CT-3122 spends most of his time next to the viewport, watching the hypnotic streaks of hyperspace fly past. He wonders what will await him when he reaches Alderaan. He has heard the stories, of course--soldiers brought back from the front for advanced medical treatment always told stories about the different worlds and people out there. They talked about planets with forests as far as the eye can see, endless bone-dry deserts, plains full of frozen ice. There were so many living things out there, plants and animals and people of all shapes and sizes and colors.

CT-3122 has never known anything but the white halls of Kamino, and the idea of a world beyond its walls, beyond the endless rainstorms where things were even more vivid and alive than what they had seen in their educational holos has always felt…impossible. He can't even picture it--they are all just stories.

Freeze leans against his side, her head resting on his shoulder as she sleeps soundly, her fingers still twined with his. She is warm, and CT-3122 finds comfort in the weight. He wonders if Freeze, who has always seemed so sure of herself and who she wanted to be, already knows what she will do with her future. He wonders if they will work together again after they reach Alderaan, or if that is another relic they have left behind in Kamino.

He doesn't know. Ever since the war ended, there are so many things he does not know.

---

When the transport drops out of hyperspace, everyone is crowded around the viewports to see. Alderaan is a pale sphere of swirling greens and blues and white--nothing at all like the gray clouds and dark oceans of Kamino. CT-3122 watches as they descend, watches as colors resolve into shapes and lines. He has no idea what he's looking at, but it's fascinating--nothing like the clean topographical maps they'd used in training.

They descend slowly to a large spaceport in the middle of a large sprawling city. And then…the doors open.

Alderaan is bright. The sky is shining blue, the clouds are white, the structures all around them--the mountains, they were called--are green and capped with white. CT-3122 steps down the ramp to be met with a spaceport that has been painted in grays and bright oranges and reds and blues and standing on the landing zone…

Clones. There's a good group of them, maybe forty or so, all dressed in different kinds of clothes--things with designs and frills and colors and layers they would have been immediately disciplined for in Kamino--and not a speck of plain white to see.

CT-3122 takes a deep, shuddering breath. The air is chill, and it doesn't smell like antiseptic or rain--it smells completely new. It hits him, then, that this is real. They've left Kamino behind and he is out in the real galaxy. Out in his new life.

"3122!"

CT-3122 turns towards the sound of his number, just in time for a brother to scoop him up into his arms and squeeze him tight. "You made it!" Carrion says, swinging him around in a circle. He puts CT-3122 down and grins. "I'm so glad to see you, kid."

Carrion looks different from the last time CT-3122 had seen him, when he'd been deployed after Geonosis. He's one of the oldest clones, fully grown and solid enough to show for it with the scar across his cheek distinct as always. But he looks lighter now, more rested, happier. His hair's grown out a bit, hanging down to his shoulders in waves and dyed with a couple streaks of orange to match the 212th.

CT-3122 hugs him back. "Carrion, I couldn't--" He shakes his head. "…I'm really glad to see you, too. It wasn't--you really didn't have to wait. Sir."

Carrion huffs. "Of course I did. That's what big brothers do, right?" He ruffles CT-3122's hair. "And I was hoping I could pick you up and give you the tour myself. The others will be heading to the res halls, but I've got a place downtown, I think you'll like it." Carrion looks up. "And you've got a friend? I think you were…7721, right?"

Freeze waves hello. "That's correct, sir. I go by Freeze."

Carrion nods. "Freeze. I'll be taking '22 with me, but we've got room for one more if you're coming along."

Freeze nods. "Yes, sir, I'd like that."

With that matter settled, Carrion leads CT-3122 and Freeze out to the monorail station, pointing out trees and flowers and buildings as they go. There's so much going on everywhere that CT-3122 thinks his head is going to explode, but he keeps looking around as much as he can just to drink it all in.

"Is it--Alderaan is always like this? Sir?" he asks.

"Oh, just wait until we get to the clone district," Carrion says, pointing out the monorail window. "Right up there, you see it?"

CT-3122 looks where Carrion is pointing, unsure what he's being directed towards, then he sees it.

It's an explosion of color. Murals on the walls, paint on the streets, sculptures and decorated buildings. Everywhere he looks, the district has been marked by his brothers with depictions of battlefields, of new and alien worlds, of sheer chaotic splashes of color. An entire district turned into a canvas.

Freeze gasps, staring at a wall-sized depiction of a dark-skinned Jedi holding a lightsaber to the sky. "Is this allowed?" she asks. "Isn't this vandalism?"

"It's art," Carrion says. "The Queen gave us a place to live and a bunch of paint and told us to do whatever we wanted with it."

It's so much. CT-3122 feels like he's back in his early days on medic track, falling five steps behind because there's just so much he needs to learn. He's not in Kamino anymore. The rules have changed. "Does that--you mean you live here? Sir?"

"No, this is the promenade," Carrion says as the monorail chugs along. "I live two stops down. I'll show you."

Carrion, it turns out, lives on the second floor of a residential building ("it's called a flat") that's made of reddish stone ("that's brick") and painted with swirling flowers. On the landing there is a little hanging device with metal rods that clang against each other in the wind ("that's a wind chime"). Inside, there are wood floors and soft green walls, with large colorful cloths ("those are tapestries") hung along the hallways and an enormous sliding window going out to a balcony that directly overlooks the mountains.

It's so much that CT-3122 feels dizzy, and Carrion must notice because he brings CT-3122 and Freeze into one of the bedrooms (there's three of them!) and has them sit down and drink some water. The bedroom is painted a light yellow but is otherwise quite sedate, and there is one bunk which is much wider than what CT-3122 is used to.

"This is the spare bedroom," Carrion says, pulling up a chair. "You can have it if you want, or you can share with me. Or you can find your own place. You don't have to decide right now. We've only got the one bed for now, but we could probably get another bunk if you prefer--"

"One bunk is--I think we'll be okay. Sir," CT-3122 says. He doesn't mind bunking with brothers, as long as he knows them.

Freeze nods in agreement.

"Okay," Carrion says. "I'll get you onboarded after you get some rest--get your ID and documents sorted out, a personal datapad, your credit chip. I'll take you kids out to buy whatever you need."

"Buy?" Freeze asks.

Carrion nods. "Yeah. You gotta actually go out and pick the things you want to have and pay credits for it. We all get a monthly stipend--a pretty small stipend, but definitely enough to cover all the necessities. It's a lot to learn, but you'll get used to it pretty fast. I'll show you how it works."

Carrion clasps his hands. "But before we do all of that…do either of you know what you want to do?"

Silence. CT-3122 looks at Carrion, then at Freeze. No answers there, either.

CT-3122 says, "I'm a surgeon. Sir."

"You are," Carrion agrees. "And a damn good one. But you're not even eight standard--natborns look at you and see a youngling. They're not going to let you do surgery."

"But I'm a medic!" CT-3122 protests. "I'm--I have strong skills, I can be useful, I--"

Carrion holds his hands up. "I know you are. And if you want to, you can keep doing medicine, and go back to surgery when you're a little older. But…you don't have to. The war's over, kid. You don't have to be wrist-deep in your brothers' guts anymore if you don't want to."

CT-3122 considers that. He's good at medicine--he's one of the best surgeons among all his peers--but he never chose to do it. He'd been assigned to the track when he was three, the same way all clones were.

His stomach twists. It feels like a waste to not use his medical skills. He's spent so long honing them, so long using them to repair his brothers during the war, that to let them go to the wayside feels…

It feels like a betrayal. Of everything he's done and is.

CT-3122 feels someone grab his hand again, and looks over at Freeze.

"I don't have to be a medic anymore?" she asks.

Carrion shakes his head. "No. You don't."

"What do we…have to do instead?" Freeze asks.

"You don't have to do anything," Carrion replies. He looks at CT-3122. "I remember, a long time ago, you asked me what I would want to do if I weren't a soldier."

CT-3122 remembers that. It had been sometime before the war, when CT-3122 had started noticing the trainers turning their jobs over to the older clones and leaving to do other things besides training. Carrion had told him it wasn't worth asking, because they were soldiers and talking about a world where they weren't was talking about a world where they didn't exist.

"Well, we're not soldiers anymore," Carrion says. "I'm helping to build this city for us, because I want this to be a place where all you kids can figure out what you want to be. You're still young. You've got plenty of time to try different things and see what you want to do."

"And that's…not a medic? Sir?" CT-3122 asks.

Carrion sighs. "I can't answer that for you. You have to tell me: do you enjoy doing medicine?"

"I'm good at it. Sir."

"That's not what I asked," Carrion replies. "Do you like it? Does it make you happy? Think about it before you answer, please."

So CT-3122 thinks. He thinks about being three years old and told he is insensitive to the sight of gruesome injury and would make a great sniper but would be more useful as a medic. He thinks about seeing a body that looks just like his, lifeless on a table and being told to cut it open and memorize what it looks like on the inside. He thinks about training exercises gone wrong and saving his brothers. He thinks about the ones gone ever more wrong, and having to tell his brothers that he can't save them, the most he can do is ease their suffering.

He is a good medic. Maybe even a great one. A credit to his teachings. He's saved hundreds of his brothers, brothers that nobody else could have saved because they didn't have his keen judgement or steady hands.

But at the same time, he remembers every brother he has refused to treat because he knew he wouldn't be able to save them. He remembers every brother he has decommissioned because it was better to be decommissioned than wasted, even if that meant making himself the cause of death.

He knows that in the wider galaxy, in a galaxy no longer at war, medicine and death do not go hand-in-hand the way they do in Kamino. But for him, he doesn't think he will ever be able to become a healer who is not also a killer.

"I…don't think I want to be a medic," CT-3122 says. "I don't want to kill my brothers anymore."

"Oh, kid," Carrion says. He pulls CT-3122 into a hug and squeezes tight. He's so much larger that he practically engulfs CT-3122, and CT-3122 sinks his weight against Carrion's chest, clutching the back of Carrion's shirt.

"What do I--What am I s-supposed to do now?" CT-3122 says into Carrion's shoulder. "If I can't--if I'm not a medic, then what am I good for?"

"I don't know, kid," Carrion says. "But we'll find that out together. I promise."

[lotus365login]

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[skunkes]

sorry if you’ve answered this before but can i ask what ur process is for making stickers? i would love to make my own but i never understood how ppl make them independently outside of using sites like redbubble where they print/ship the stickers for you ^^; do you order batches through stickermule or a similar site? or is there a way to produce them at home?

Yes! There is a way to produce em at home but I feel i dont make enough stickers that wld sell really really well to justify the cost, + i do not have insider knowledge on that part as i do not make them myself, sorry ^_^

Up to now i have used 3 separate places for stickers, ill probably add limks when im on web.

Read more is bc i am going into depth on the sites ive used and my experience + how you navigate em, bc i know i always like a lot of info on ths sort of stuff, feel free to ask more questions if you'd like to know anything else ^_^

V/ograce:

✨ Vo/grace is the cheapest of all options I'll be listing, and the trade off is it'll take about a month or longer for them to produce the sticker + for it to arrive to you.

✨ They have lots of options other sites dont (sparkle star and heart holo patterns i love so munch!) but they dont have a matte option iirc. Still good and varied! Ive enjoyed the quality + recently they've improved the...color printing?

✨ You upload files on the item page (its best to label em by Amount You Want + Size to make it easier for them (like CowboySticker_50pc_2inches)) + they later email you with a digital proof of how the outlines are and you can ask them to change it then, otherwiae minimal contact (if the proof is good you just say "yes its good to go!")

✨ Only thing here is sometimes proofs can be confusing (i ordered a sticker meant to be holo on 2 areas. They ended up not being holo at all, and i could not tell from the proofs lol like there was no indicator that theyd end up not holo :( ), and then it's hard to get things fixed if youre on a deadline (like ppl who make stickers for cons) bc itd take another month for the fixed ones to get to you

I use vo/grace when i rlly want a sparkle star or heart holo design, or lots of designs that fit within the materials they have ^_^ they also only have like a 10 sticker minimum order quantity (MOQ) i believe?? So you have to order 50 stickers at minimum but you can make them be 5 different designs of 10 iirc

Stic/kerapp:

🌷 Stick/erapp has the best/my favorite sticker UI out of the sites Ive used, you upload your file and theres an editor where you can decide how big you want the border of your sticker, what color, you can adjust how big you want em to be, + other things, so you don't have to wait for a digital proof

🌷 I've had good experiences w them and the cost is good but I havent used em in a while, and last i heard they are getting a lot of attention rn due to increased popularity, which has led to them getting some orders wrong, which is ok, but I've also seen people say customer support for this has not been great recently, so I am...not completely advocating against em but I'm avoiding em for the moment until things mybe calm down? But thats bc im not a risk taker urnshfksjf

🌷 I rlly do hope things are resolved soon bc they also have some special sticker materials that other sites dont have that id love to experiment with, but its not like. A NEED ^_^

Cant remember the MOQ here but i think its also 50. I think the base MOQ for sticker sites is 50

Stick/erninja:

🌈 Sti/ckerninja is a small local business in portland iirc. I used them for my most recent sticker (be my cowboy) bc I wanted it to be matte and Vog/race doesnt have matte sticker yet! I like their UI and the way they have options and materials set up. You upload your file (all these sites specify which they accept btw ^_^) and it gives you a little mini thumbnail on what it'll look like. This is good bc I actually had some file issues and I was able to see the file i uploaded messed up the colors! So i was able to fix it before purchasing.

🌈 They give you an estimated shipping time + some time later you'll get an email with digital proof and dimensions, if there are issues you can contact them and if not you just approve on a little menu in your account ^_^ iirc they also give discounts for specific designs and are vocal about supporting things like blm which is epic to me ^_^ my experience with them was quite nice + I think prices are similar to stick/erapp.

✨ Again I'm not a big risk taker and my stuff always flops so I usually stick to vogr/ace for the cost bc I have the time/dont do cons or anything w a deadline ^_^ mybe you cld start there if you wanna start out without investing a lot of money!

🌈 I rlly rlly liked matte sticker feeling so until vo/grace adds that I'm doing that much on stick/erninja! But i use both of these interchangeably atm!

🌷 I wld check each of em out for materials to see which you like too bc they all have their own special ones i think. I think stick/erapp has a lot of options ppl enjoy, but no sparkle holo like vo/grace. Sticke/rninja has blacklight florescent sticker options! Etc

I havent tried other sites as theyre usually more expensive hdhskfjskd ^_^ but yeag!

[warsamongthestars]

BAD BATCH (+1) INCORRECT QUOTES - RVB EDITION

BAD BATCH (+1) INCORRECT QUOTES RED VS BLUE EDITION

#=#=#=#

WRECKER: WHAT DO YOU THINK HUNTER WILL DO FOR A DISTRACTION

CROSSHAIR: he'll probably throw a rock or make a noise.

[ explosion in the distance ]

CROSSHAIR: or he'll do that.

HUNTER: Okay, come on out. But come quietly.

WRECKER: UH WRECKER: DO WE HAVE TO USE THAT UH WRECKER: GRAV LIFT

CROSSHAIR: don't be a baby, Wrecker. CROSSHAIR: how bad can it be-EEEEEEEEEE

[ Crosshair steps on the Grav-Lift and is sent flying ] [ He lands, bounces, skids, hydroplanes ] [ and eventually smacks against the side of a speeder ]

CROSSHAIR: KARKIN BANTHASHIT

DROID #1: Did you hear something? DROID #2: ... Whuh?

HUNTER: I said quietly! What part of quiet don't you understand!?

CROSSHAIR: WHAT PART!? CROSSHAIR: how about the part where i got thrown EIGHTY FEET IN THE KARKIN' AIR CROSSHAIR: BY THE STARS DAMN THROWING THING!?

# # #

AZI: Alright gentlemen. AZI: I am going to be giving Sergeant Hunter his physical now. AZI: Would anyone like to assist?

TECH: I can assure everyone that it’s merely holding the vomit bucket.

CROSSHAIR: sorry, i'm busy.

AZI: Specialist Brexpy?

BREXPY: i cant

AZI: Why not?

BREXPY: because im allergic to things i dont want to do BREXPY: [ fakes coughing ]

# # #

AZI: I have discovered the problem!

ECHO: What is it Azi?

AZI: You may not like the diagnosis.

TECH: I believe we will be able to take it, AZI. Just tell us.

AZI: Sergeant Hunter is--

BREXPY: dying

AZI: No, he is not dying. He--

CROSSHAIR: has no chance to live.

WRECKER: GUYS STOP INTERUPTIN!

# # #

ECHO: I thought it lit up green for flesh wounds.

TECH: And infectious diseases.

AZI: It is a general alert, with meaning about any number from a list of health and error codes. For example, this error code alerts us to anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy from a clone trooper!

WRECKER: IF THAT THING KEEPS TALKIN BAD ABOUT ME WRECKER: IM GONNA SMASH IT

# # #

TECH: I have read reports that natborns can get enormous strength in stressful situations. TECH: There was a human woman that lifted a crashed speeder off her infant child.

BREXPY: you want me to call the generals mother?

# # #

RANDO REG: What, this ship?

TECH: No, another ship. TECH: And then that ship left, and this ship crashed in the same spot.

RANDO REG: Where did it come from?

BREXPY: its a spaceship BREXPY: it came from space

# # #

WRECKER: BUT I WAS SO YOUNG WRECKER: AND VIOLENT

CROSSHAIR: and thats what makes this tragic.

#=#=# EMPIRE EDITION ADDITION #=#=#

BREXPY: yknow BREXPY: we couldve taken that jedi if id have just hit him a few more times

CROSSHAIR: a few more times? how about one time?

BREXPY: well i think i landed at least two or three shots

CROSSHAIR: yeah right. CROSSHAIR: you didn't hit anything but the wall.

BREXPY: hey BREXPY: i need distance to aim to use a gun effectively

CROSSHAIR: where were you planning on shooting him from? CROSSHAIR: the moon? CROSSHAIR: if you had backed up any further you would've had to mail them the bullet.

# # #

CROSSHAIR: brexpy, sitrep.

BREXPY: well BREXPY: theyve had the prisoner in there for far too long BREXPY: theyre probably subjecting them to all manner of unbearable torture BREXPY: i figure that in a manner of hours BREXPY: the prisoners spirit will be just as broken as his body BREXPY: completely unable to cope with the never ending stimulation of pain and horror BREXPY: but to answer the question BREXPY: things are fine BREXPY: could be a little warmer but i cant complain

# # #

BREXPY: well if youre the judge and DA BREXPY: and im the defense BREXPY: you know that e03 is gonna want to be the bailiff BREXPY: and that means hes gonna wanna wear the shock trooper uniform with the short shorts

CROSSHAIR: great, officer hot pants.

BREXPY: and we all remember the emperors birthday holiday party

[ flashback ]

BREXPY: that cake is karkin huge

E-02: Its big enough to fit a person!

CROSSHAIR: why does it smell like baby oil?

E-05: Oh fuck where's E-03?!

#=#=#=#

[kiddokori]

Well now I need to see pics of your rats

YEAHHHH LETS GO ok so the brown one is fettuccine (she has two lil white hairs on her forehead its cute) alfredo is the grey one i never call them their full names tho i just say fetta and fred

freddy is very round and i adore her she is so dumb. soso dumb big ol idiot she just likes to hang out and be pet she wags her tail when you scratch the top of her head its very cute

fetta is my bastard child shes smart and she uses her powers for evil to get into things shes not supposed to she cannot be left unattended or she will wreck havoc shes very affectionate and sweet tho so i forgive her (also her ears hang low on her head and are bigger and rounder which is cute because shes part dumbo rat which. basically just is a rat w lower bigger ears (theyre both part dumbo since theyre siblings from the same batch of rats but fred did not inherit the ears unfortunately))

they like to snuggle theyre besties theyll play tag and take turns chasing each other its very cute they run like deer like they frolic almost its ao funny to watch them

also because theyre so smart (even if fred is dumb shes still like. an intelligent animal) they do this thing where when i point a camera at them they pick up on the fact im pointing something at them and get curious and stick their nose to the camera so i have a collection of photos where theyre just. staring at you shejjwjajak its so funny i love them anyways this is as many photos as tumblr will let me add im so sorry for how long this is i warned you id rant you brought this upon yourself

[dollsonmain]

Absolutely no Minecraft for me today. I’m sure that’s not helping how I feel because I get super focused, forget to blink, and don’t move for HOURS, all of which is exhausting.

That Guy asked me to fix up the village near his impending castle so I did, which requires building a big stone wall first off. It’s tedious. It has to be tall enough that skeletons can’t shoot golems over the top because otherwise the golems will stand there getting shot until they die.

Then I bred them so there are like 15 people there now instead of 2. The village near the center point is still only one dude. I’m trying to get him to switch jobs to librarian from cleric so we have a chance at getting mending books from him.

I still wish they’d stay children if there aren’t job-items available. The little kids are cute but they all grow up eventually and there’s never any more unless someone dies.

Anyway.

That Guy says we’re getting groceries today and I might not go. I don’t feel well at all.

Goodwill would be a great place to use a credit card to maintain my credit, though. If I had one. I spend like $6 a week there in general.

I need to ID the ponies and birds I’m working on and get their photos sorted into folders.

I know Tricky Tails, and I was calling the one Snuzzle but I think that’s Peachy..... and then the baby which we IDed and then I forgot already. I just don’t retain information that well. I’ll remember in 20 years at random.

*done*

I’ve overspent again and am kicking myself for it, but hope I’ll make most of it back when I get the next batch listed.

I wish Goodwill would have more toys again. The shipping fees are killing me. On the ones that came in yesterday I paid $20 shipping and it cost $12.

Buying is so much easier than selling.

This batch ended up being $50 after shipping and taxes.

And should arrive during our vacation ಠ_ಠ’ so hopefully they’ll properly hold our mail. If they don’t it’s only 3 days. Hopefully no one steals any lingering packages.

I do find myself willing to spend more when there’s a pony I want for myself in the lot, and I do want Glittering Gem and maybe TaF Sundance. I’ll be lucky if I can get $20 for the other MLP all together (fakie will go in the fakie pile), and Sunspot needs a new tail which is more $$.

And I have that bald Heart Throb on the way in, so no more buying until I get another listing going.

I need to figure out how to set eBay to vacation mode... Got it.

Pansy’s auction ends in 15 minutes. Hopefully they pay quickly so I can get that out before vacation time.

[peter-pan-hoe]

Old Friends Pt 1

Guess Who’s Back Bitches

(Sorry for calling you bitches im just very excited. I love every single of of yall and Im so happy you guys have stuck around during this ridiculous hiatus and i hope to be posting more soon. I just got off my ass today and was like “Alright ya cow its time to write” and i did. Here is the oldest request ive had waiting in my inbox for literal years im so sorry this took so long. Here is part one of what will hopefully be a new series. I’ve taken it in a different direction to start with but i will be swinging it around to meet the request in later parts. So happy to be back. Ive missed you. I love you. Here we go xx)

“So like maybe Peter, y/n, an all the lost boys are having this huge dinner, hanging out and that, and then somehow, for revenge, The Dark One sends one of Peter’s old lovers to the island. That night Peter sneaks off to greet the girl who is STILL in love with him, maybe she puts him under her spell to forget about the reader and then they like almost do da nasty or something and I guess I can leave you to the rest.”

Requested by @bellakae

Warnings: swearing, legit like one f-bomb

I did my best to make Y/N gender neutral but being a cis female I may have missed some gender identifiers when editing and I apologise 

tag list:  @dina3s @just-meh-and-me-dogs @xcastawayherosx @lexymeg

sorry to anyone i forgot. I couldnt find all the asks or my updated tag list. Comment bellow or dm me if you want to be added to the tag list xx

 Every time there’s a new batch of lost boys, or ever just one, to arrive on the island, we have a welcome feast.

The hunter and forager boys gather as much stuff they can find and the cooks put together a huge meal. Given out of the 47 of us that there’s only 6 cooks, we usually have some extra to help out.

When there’s a big group it’s usually because Peter went to the mainland to find boys and bring them here because they weren’t happy at home.

There was that time that 5 or six boys rocked up because they made their way here together.

But if it’s just the one boy, they’re the believers. The ones who wished their way here.

This time around however was because Peter had gone to the mainland.

He usually seemed very happy whenever he came back.

Well no less happy than usual.

He wasn’t sad or angry or quiet like today.

When he returned early this morning with the latest group of boys, he came into our shared hut and stared out the window until morning.

Usually if it’s a late night he would have woken me up to say he was back.

He hadn’t needed to wake me up this time as him simply entering the room had roused me. But he didn’t even look over at me as he walked passed our bed to his little seat on the window sill.

I figured something must be up so I sat up and pretended I hadn’t heard him come home.

  “Oh hey,” I said, faking a yawn. “When did you get back?”

He looked at me with a forced smile.

  “Just a little while ago,” he hopped down from his perch by the window and came to sit beside me. “Did I wake you?”

He gave me a gentle kiss on the head and the leaned down to untie his boots.

  “No I don’t think so,” I lied and shook my head. “I just woke up and you were there,”

He didn’t say anything as he kicked of his boots and put his feet up on our bed.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked. “You seem a little distracted,”

  “yeah I’m alright,” he sighed. “Just ran into an old friend while I was out getting the new boys,”

  “Okay 2 things,” I started. “First is, how are the boys? And how many? And the second thing, was this old friend still a friend or are you not on good terms?”

  “They boys are good,” he replied with a stifled yawn.

I could tell he was very tired, but not his usual physical exhaustion. He seemed tired in his mind.

  “I brought home 14 boys,” he continued. “The youngest 7 and the oldest 17,”

  “That’s a lot,” I said sadly. “All those boys – a 7 year old – lost and lonely,”

  “Mmm,” he nodded in agreement.

  “So what about your friend?” I pressed carefully.

I don’t want to upset him.

  “I’m not really sure,” he sighed. “We didn’t end on good terms but she seemed happy to see me. She even wanted to come back here with us,”

This answer surprised me.

  “She?” I asked nervously.

  “Yeah,” he looked at me apologetically. “Clara. An old… partner of mine,”

  “Partner as in lover?” I asked. “I don’t mind you talking about your ex’s. I’ve got some too y’know,”

I tried to lighten the solemn mood with a giggle.

  “You mean I’m not your first love?” he feigned shock, gasping dramatically and putting his hand over his heart.

  “Oh but you are the truest,” I collapsed into his chest with a laugh.

He held me tight as he lay back on our bed, so I was leaning back onto him.

  “But yes, to answer your question,” he said as he absentmindedly played with a few strands of my hair. “Clara was my old lover. She was someone I met a long time ago,”

I thought about how things would have been with Peter and this Clara.

  “Did she live here like me?” I asked, genuinely curious.

Like I’d told him, I don’t have an issue with him having past lovers. I mean who doesn’t?

  “No,” he said quietly. “We weren’t really bonded like you and I are,”

  “So how did you see her?” I asked as I reached up to brush some of my hair back.

  “Made more trips to the mainland I guess,” he shrugged. “I still only picked up new boys once a month but I went to see her weekly,”

  “But you two weren’t romantically affiliated?” I questioned.

  “Well I wasn’t,” he admitted with a guilty face. “She was very emotionally invested in our… relationship. Whereas I was not,”

  “Oh Peter…” I sighed. “Did you break her heart?”

  “I guess,” he shrugged again. “She started getting really clingy. She didn’t want to come here. I never really found out why but she insisted that our meeting were to take place on the mainland. She began asking me to stay for longer periods of time. Once to the point that Felix came to find me because Neverland’s weather started to turn to a freezing winter. She’d convinced me to stay for weeks at a time more than once,”

  “But she was the only one romantically invested?” I reiterated.

He gave a solemn nod.

  “That’s fucked,” I lay back in the bed and yawned. “How did the encounter go this time?”

  “She seemed the same,” he said carefully. “Like she didn’t even remember that we ended badly,”

  “How so?” I pressed.

  “I came across her in a town market and she ran to me like she was so happy to see me,” he continued.  “She ran to me and wrapped her arms around me like she used to when we hadn’t seen each other for a time. I’m not sure she even realises how long its been,”

He became quiet, thinking.

  “How long has it been?” I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and my voice came out as almost a whisper.

  “Thirty odd years or so,” he brushed some loose hairs from my face, just touching for the sake of touching. “But she left so quickly this time I didn’t even have a chance to ask her why she seems this to be like this. She just said she had errands to run and had to go. That she would see me soon,”

  “That sounds ominous,” I mumbled.

I was processing as much of this as I could in my tired state. I suppose Peter could sense that I was barely awake.

  “Go back to sleep, love,” he kissed my forehead. “We can talk more about it in the morning. Sleep Y/N, we have a big day of celebration to prepare for tomorrow,”

He didn’t have to tell me twice as id already started to drift off from him gently stroking the side of my face.

[surveysonfleek]

1606.

Do you like using cinnamon on or in any of your food? not particularly but i put them in my banana smoothies from time to time

Did you ever make fortune tellers as a kid? yes, always! we even made one at work with all our names on it

Do you know how to cook or bake? yes, not well but ive made some standouts here and there :)

Who is the best cook in your family? my parents are equally as good as each other. my sister is the worst lmao

Which berry is your favorite? honestly... i dont like berries. if i had to choose, strawberry

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? scrambled eggs, avocado and bread

Do you prefer cappuccinos or frappuccinos? frapps. theyre always fun to drink lol

Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language? only at school because we were made to. 

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? ugh idk, neither! it depends what kind of animals are in the water if im honest lol

Do you own any leather-bound books? nope

Which baby animal is your favorite? i feel like legit all puppies are cute

Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? i never have jam! i only ever eat it when i have scones, which is already rare

What was the scent of the last candle you burned? burning one now. it’s called poolside paradise.

Are there any plants in your home? yes, plenty!

Do you prefer honey, sugar, or something else as a sweetener? i use honey for my smoothies

What food does honey go best with? honey soy chicken, yum

When is the last time you were lazy and just curled up to read a good book? last year lol

What was on the last sandwich that you ate? tuna salad (not really a salad btw, just onions and mayo lol)

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? nope

What is your favorite type of weather? sunny but cold in the shade

Do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the Winter? it never happens here

Do you love all the rain that Spring brings? i never really noticed how much it rains in spring until now! i dont mind it but i hate driving in the rain

Do you prefer wrapping presents or putting them in a bag? honestly, if a bag is available it’s so much easier lol.

If your friend made you a batch of cookies, what cookies would you like them to be? white choc macadamia

What is your favorite book? harry potter series and i have sooo many more but im just at a blank rn

Have you ever reread a book? always!!

What is your dream house like? just spacious. it doesnt even have to be a ‘big’ house, i just want open plan living, dark decor and a lot of plants

Would you ever like to own a chandelier? i dont mind, not something on my list

What scent is the last body wash you used? coconut

Do you have any religious symbols in your home? yes

What religion do you identify with, if any? none really but i was raised catholic

If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant? monsteras

What pets have you had while growing up? i only ever had budgies, fish and one dog. idk if i want anymore.

If you went to an art museum, what do you think you would want to see first? id look at their most famous piece first

What type of museum would you like to go to? any!!! i love all museums

Do you enjoy those tins of butter cookies? haha i used to love them as a kid but i only liked one type. once that particular type was finished, i was over it

Are you diligent with your studies? not super but i wasnt a slacker either

Do you prefer to eat ice cream from a cone or a cup? cup

When is the last time you went to a carnival? honestly, years ago

Have you ever been to the circus? yes, again, years ago. i havent seen any around in a really long time

Do you own any art supplies? sure do, it was something i picked up during lockdown lol

Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? my mum collects starbucks mugs. i loved the las vegas one until it broke lol

What are some of your favorite scents? sooo many. fruity scents, fresh scents, freshly baked bread, vanilla etc

What is you favorite flavor of pudding and/or yogurt? i dont eat either often tbh

Do you have a daily planner that you write in? nope

What branch of science interests you the most? bio

Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil? pen

How many notebooks do you own? Are they all filled? none lol

Do you enjoy flavored coffee? If so, which flavor is your favorite? vanilla, caramel and irish cream

What kind of tea is your favorite? earl grey is my fave :)

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[5289belle]

Captain America’s Legacy

Summary:  When Katerina Rogers watches as the flags smashers cause further mayhem, she knows she needs to come out of hiding and go help Sam and Bucky take them down, all while dealing with the fact that the United States government replaced her dad with some idiot as Captain America.

Meet Katerina (Katy) Rogers, the daughter of Natasha and Steve. Will take place during the falcon and the winter solider with some flashbacks to black widow and civil war. Also Tony is alive in this timeline, Steve did that snap instead, Natasha still died getting the soul stone.

Part Two

Walking along the road the three had been silent for twenty minutes now. Then Sam spoke up, “Wait, how did you know where to find me Kat?” He looked at her with questioning in his eyes.

“Oh that, ha easy. I tracked you through your phone, GPS can be really helpful.” She said with a laugh.

“Since when do you know how to hack?”

Looking at him with a smirk she responded lightly “Tony showed me how, about nine years ago. I just never felt the need to use it much on missions. What with Tony and all his techno stuff, and then when we went on the run it just never came up.

Bucky had been just staring ahead stoically the whole time, Sam just shook his head as they continued on. Looking over to Bucky Sam asked

“What going on in that cyborg brain of yours?”

“It’s computing”

Sam chuckled at that, while Katy broke out in a smile and tried not to snort. “You know what I can actually see it. I can see the gears turning. Oh, they’re malfunctioning shutting down. Yep, they’re on fire.”

Ignoring him Bucky interrupted with “We gotta figure out where the serum’s coming from.”

“Yeah. And how in the hell after 80 years are there eight super soldiers runnin’ loose?”

“Well, lets first ask where do we start? Who made the serum?” Katy spoke up from between them.

Slowly they heard the car come up beside them, honking. Looking over she noticed it was Walker and Hoskins, great she thought and tried not to roll her eyes too hard.

“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” Walker asked the trio.

Pointedly ignoring him they continued walking on, a few moments later Walker continued on “Look, at least we know what we’re up against now, huh?

And were pretty sure it’s one of the big three, so..”

Sam replies with “Aliens, androids, or wizards right?

“Pretty sure” Walker say’s looking at them hopefully.

Annoyed Bucky interrupts with “There’s no such thin as wizards.”

“Alright then it’s aliens or androids”

Sam responds with “Or super soldiers.”

Surprised Hoskins asks “Shit, super soldiers, for real?”

“Yeah”

“All right, well then we gotta work together” John says to them, having enough of the conversation Bucky say “That’s not happening”, which is quickly followed up by Katy with “Yeah, no. Were good, we can handle this ourselves.”

John replies “I think we stand a much better chance if we all just..”

Interrupting him Bucky yells quietly “Just cause you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean your Captain America.”

“Exactly, just saying you’re Captain America just doesn’t make it so. It’s title that has to be earned, and its sacred.” Katy responds with a scowl on her face. She can barely contain her rage at his presence. This was not good for her mental health.

“Look, I’ve done the work, okay?”

Looking at John, Bucky asks “You ever jump on top of a grenade?”

“Or put your life on the line for the greater good?” she adds on.

“Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times. It’s a thing I do with my helmet, it’s a reinforced helmet and I’ve put my life on the line many times in the heat of battle.” John responds, trying to defend his honor. “Look, it’s twenty miles to the airport you three need a ride?”

Katy just scoffs at this and looks ahead with her jaw clenched

“Guy’s. Gary stop. Get in.”

Reluctantly they stop and get, leaving her to be sandwiched between Sam and Bucky.

“Okay, so we’ve got eight super soldiers on a bulk supply run. Why?”

Thinking it over Sam respond’s “They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during the blip. Maybe they’re just trying to help.”

“They had a funny way of showing it.” Bucky says.

“That serum doesn’t exactly have a great track record.” John says then looks over to Bucky and Katy and says “No offense”

She merely raises her eyebrow and declines to responds.

“We need to figure out where their going. How’d you track ‘em

Here? The flag smashers?” Sam asks.

Hoskins joins in “uh, no we didn’t track them, we tracked you, uh, through redwing.”

“You hacked my tech?” Sam say’s angered

Chuckling Walker replies “Sorry, it’s not exactly hacking. It’s government property.

Meanwhile Bucky was just staring directly towards Walker, noticing he voices out “Does he always just stare like that?”

Sam glances at Bucky and responds, “You get used to it.”

Clearing his throat John say’s to them “okay look, you know things have gotten kind of, uh…” Hoskins finishes his sentence with “Chaotic”

“Yeah. The GRC, they’re doing the best they can to get things up and running smoothly, post blip.

Ignoring them for a few seconds she just tunes them out. Living in Europe for the past six months and moving around from place to place she’s seen the displacement camps and knows that the GRC has been useless for they people who never disappeared. As always the government was ignoring the larger picture in order to fix a smaller picture with a quick fix. Leading to more problems, like the flag smashers… If her dad was here he would know what to do…

Sighing she stopped her train of thought, with her heart constricting in sadness at the mere thought. It still hurt too much to think about them. She would drive herself insane if she kept thinking what if?

Coming back to the conversation at hand she heard Walker say “If you guys, if you joined up with us we could..”

“No” Bucky and Katy said in unison.

“I got mad respect for the three of you, the falcon, the winter soldier and Captain Widow. But you were getting your asses kicked till we showed up” Hoskins said to the three.

“What?” she asked in confusion, looking over at Hoskins she continued “What did you call me?

“Captain Widow, that’s your superhero name right? Cause your dad was Captain America and your mom was Black Widow”

Shaking her head in confusion and annoyance she asks

“Is that what everyone refers to me as?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Just no, I just…” she sighs and doesn’t know how to respond. Since when did she get that moniker? The Captain Widow? Seriously!.. Well, it was at least better than the other one she had been given…

While she pondering over the recent revelation Buck asks “Who are you?”

“Lemar Hoskins”

“Look, I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter on tactical gear, I need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins.”

“I’m Battlestar. John’s partner.

“Battlestar!?” Bucky says, clearly his hurt by this. With that he’s had enough and calls for the car to stop and leaves, she happily joins him. Glad to be gone from that situation. Walking side by side, she looks over to him and notices the grimace on his face. Clearly he was not taking the news well.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine” he says dismissively. Sam then walks up to them and joins them on their silent walk back to the airport.

With that Bucky stands up and walk over to Sam and sits down next to him and looks between him and Katy. “There is someone that you two should meet.”

Some time later, Bucky is sitting on a crate thinking pensively while Sam and Katy are laying on the seats.

“Let’s take the shield. Let’s takes the shield and do this ourselves.”

“We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up, and take it.”

“Why not? It would certainly make me happy” Katy says, now she can’t stop picturing it, she doesn’t know why but something about his face just makes her want to punch him.

“Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?”

“Maybe”

“Possibly” she says.

“I’ll help you two in case you forgot. Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Kat and I were on the run for two years. I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca. We just got our asses handed to us by super soldiers, and we got nothing.”

Interrupting she say responds “Not entirely true, we know there’s at least eight of them, and that they steal supplies, like medicine and stuff. Plus, they know how to handle themselves in a fight.”

With that they head off to Baltimore Maryland. Where Sam and Katy find out there was a black super soldier since the fifties and no one knew about it, not even Steve. Sam is angry at the revelation, how could no one tell him, why was it a secret. Katy is just shocked, she had no idea that the U.S had also had their own batch of super soldiers they were using, she thought it was just the Soviet Union with the Black Widow program.

While Sam is having it out with Bucky suddenly a siren wails out as a cop patrol car rolls up and stops in front of them. “What could they possibly want?” She asks out loud.

“Hey, is there a problem here?” One of the officers ask.

“No, we’re just talking.”

“We’re fine” Bucky adds on, Katy responds dismissively “We’re good, thank you though. We don’t need your assistance, have a good day��

The officer walks up to Sam and singles him out asking him for his ID, at this Bucky says “Man, seriously?”

“I don’t have ID, why?”

“Okay sir, just calm down.”

Affronted Sam goes on “I am calm, what do you want.”

“Just give him your ID”

“NO, I’m giving him shit We’re just talking”

“Hey is this guy bothering you two?”

“No, he’s not bothering us. Do you know who this is?”

The other officer walks up to his partner and whispers something to him, then the other one apologizes to Sam.

Before long, Bucky is being arrested for missing his court mandated therapy.

A couple hours later the three find themselves at the precinct. In the lobby Sam and Katy are waiting to hear news about Bucky when his therapist walks up to them.

“Sam. I’ve heard a lot about you.” turning to look over at Katy she asks “and who are you?”.

“Hi, I’m Katerina Rogers, but you can call me Katy. May I ask who you are?”

“I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist”.

Walking up to her he shakes her hand and replies “So nice to meet you. Thank you for getting him out.” Katy smiles at her nodding her head along.

“That was not me”

“Christina, it’s great to see you again.” Walkers voice rang out.

“You got to be kidding me you know him?” Sam asked Dr. Raynor.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.

“I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in. Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer. walking up to her he smiled.

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?”

Pointing to himself “Um..”

Rolling her eyes on the sideline Katy thought to herself at least he did something good for Bucky, this way they can carry on the mission. He’s still pretentious, but I suppose he not the absolute worst…

Just then they released Bucky and he came walking up to the group.

With that Walker told them he would be outside waiting for them.

“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam and Katy.”

“That’s okay. I’ll be out here with Katy..” Sam replied while Katy also rang out “Oh, no I couldn’t join in..”

“That wasn’t a request”

The two looked to each other in defeat and then followed after Bucky and the Dr.

Sitting down at a table with Dr. Raynor on the other side the three were all seated next to each other with Katy in the middle, each were silent and brooding, clearly not wanting to be there.

“So.. Who would like to start?”

Pursing her lips Katy stubbornly remained silent. Sam chose to speak first “All right, look Dr. Raynor? I get it, why you want me to talk to freaky magoo over here. But I’m 100% fine”

“It is my job to make sure that you’re okay. You to Katy, I heard that you just disappeared six months ago without a trace after your parent’s funeral. I can imagination how hard that must have been. I know your friends here were worried about you. And so yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional but it’s the only way I can see if you’re getting over whatever’s eating at you guys.”

“Look I appreciate the concern I do, however I’m perfectly fine. I just needed a break, all good now..” Katy said trying to excuse herself. The Dr. just looked at her and then to the other two.

“This is ridiculous” Sam said afterwards, Bucky followed up with “Yeah. I agree.”

“See making progress already. So who wants to go first? No volunteers, wow. How surprising. Okay. We’re going to do an exercise. It’s something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they wanna build together. Are you familiar with the miracle question?”

“Absolutely not”

“Of course, not”

“What is that?”

“Okay it goes like this, suppose that while you’re sleeping a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?”

“In my miracle he would talk less.”

“exactly what I was gonna say, Isn’t that ironic?”

“These two would banter less.”

“You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise.”

“I like this one better” Bucky says with a smile while Sam smiled and responds “Oh, God. He’s gonna love this.” Katy merely says, “I’m good, I’ll just watch.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

“This is right up your alley”

“Katy, you have to join in. I really think this would be helpful for you three.” Dr. Raynor responds to the three’s remarks. “Turn around, face each other.”

All three scoot out with their chairs and then scoot right back in forming a triangle with their knees touching.

“You should really enjoy this.” Sam says aloud to Bucky.

Looking right back at him with a sarcastic smile he replies, “I’m going to” While nodding his head. “This will be fun” Katy remarks, trying to lighten the mood and her nerves. Just great.

“Face each other”

“Let’s do it. Let’s stare” Bucky says to them.

“Get close”

“How much closer can we get? Our knees are touching?” Katy says confused. Bucky looks to his doctor and says “This is a good exercise. Thanks Doc.

“All right, good. All right, get close.”

With that they mange to get closer by arranging their knees to open up and allow the other ones to slide in closer on her left side Sam sits with his knees by hers, while on the right Bucky sits with his knee on hers, their other knees our on each other’s. All three our extremely uncomfortable.

“It’s a little close” Bucky says. “That’s what you wanted right?” Sam replies, Katy just sits there shaking her head. Dr. Raynor interrupts with “Guys, good. Now look at each other.

Looking up they look into each other’s eyes, Sam and Bucky are just staring at each other, both refusing to blink. While Katy looks right at their eyebrows refusing to make eye contact, fed up with the whole situation and their childish staring contest.

“Wait, what are you doing? Are you having a staring contest?” Snapping her fingers, she says blink to them repeatedly until they snap out of it. Katy looks up relieved.

“All right James, why does Sam aggravate you?”

Looking up her with a smirk he’s about to respond when she replies, “and don’t say something childish.”

At that he licks his lips and looks down, getting serious. Looking to Sam he asks, “Why did you give up that shield?”

At this Katy looks to Sam with the same questioning look, she desperately needs to know that answer to this. Why did he give it up to the museum when he could have given it to her…?

“Why are you making such a big deal out of something that had nothing to do with you?”

Finally, she speaks up, “Why didn’t you pass it on to me? If you didn’t want it?”

Looking over to her he responds “You went AWOL, we couldn’t find you. How could I have given to you when you weren’t there. I thought you would like that it went to the museum with the rest of the Captain America exhibition.”

Looking down in pain, she purses her lips and then glances back up

“Okay, so maybe it would have been hard to give to me if you couldn’t find me. I just don’t know why you thought I would rather have it collecting dust in a museum…”

Speaking up Bucky looked to Sam “Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.

“Shut up”

“So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you he was wrong about me.”

“Or me” she muttered.

“You finished?”

“Yeah”

“All right, good. Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you except that I did what I thought was right?

Bucky just looks down; Sam absorbs this and scoffs “You know what Doc? I don’t have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So how about this? I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and when we’re done, we both can go on separate, long vacations, and never see each other again.”

“I like that”

“Great”

“You two can’t mean that!?”

Nodding his head Sam responds “Well, let’s get to work. Thanks Doc, for making it weird. I feel much better. I’ll see you outside. Getting up Sam walk out with Katy right on his heels, she looks back to check on Bucky and then continues on outside.

Meeting Walker and Hoskins outside they conclude that it would be better to work apart, all thought now they know the leader’s name is Karli Morgenthau. While walking down the street Bucky speaks up and says he knows a place to start. So now their heading to Germany, off to see Zemo..

Walking along the hallway in the prison Bucky lets them know he’s going in there alone.

“Why?”

“You two are avengers. You know how he feels about that.”

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together.”

“He was obsessed with hydra. We have a history together. Trust me. I got it.”

With that Bucky walks off leaving Sam and Katy to wait there.

An hour later they find themselves in a old building while Bucky explains he wants to break Zemo out of jail, how he could escape.

Sam is not having it, and neither is Katy.

“You want to break out the guy who tried to break up the avengers and framed you for a bombing?” she asked him shocked. She knew they were desperate for leads but not that desperate.

“Where are we, Buck? Have you lost you mind?” Sam called out.

“We have no leads no moves, nothing”

“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars. “

“And we also have eight super soldiers that are loose.”

“It’s not the worst plan I suppose. Better than joining up with Walker and Hoskins.” She joins in.

Looking over at her incredulously Sam continues “Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense.”

Turning on the lights he says “Offense”

“Why are we on a mechanic shop? That where we are right?” she says looking to Bucky for answers.

“Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy but he still has a code.”

“I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you and Kat. He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans for about it? It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t I know why this matter to you, buts it pushing you off the deep end.”

“Sam, we don’t know how they’re getting’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I?”

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything” Bucky empathizes.

Tilting her head at that Katy looks over and ask, “So what’s this hypothetical?”

As Bucky is explaining the gears in her head are turning and she starting to figure out that everything he is saying has either already happened or currently is. Half expecting Zemo to come walking in any minute now. She’s not disappointed when he does. Sam however is livid.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa”

“No listen”

“What are you doin’ here?” Sam questions.

“I didn’t want to you, cause I knew you wouldn’t let this happen. “

“What did you do?”

“We need him”

“This has gotta be good” she says.

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam shouts

“If I may” Zemo begins before both Bucky and Sam interrupts yelling “NO”

Zemo mutters “apologies” as Katy watches and tilts her head. How polite she thought to herself.

Looking to both Katy and Sam Bucky say “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me.”

“Of course, you were innocent, and those accords were utter bullshit, just another way for the UN to try and make the avengers their very own weapon to be used when they so desired.” She looks to him, and licks her lips, “I would do it all over again”

“I’m asking for you to do it again” he says while looking into her eyes, mesmerized by his ice blues eyes she mutters “Always, I’ll always help if you need. Until the end.” Turning to Sam he looks at him questioningly, waiting for his answer.

Zemo breaks in with “I really think I’m invaluable..”

“Shut up” Sam breaks in and looks back to Bucky and Katy.

“Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.”

“Fair”

“Okay Zemo, where do we start?”

[blubberquark]

Game Engines: A False Dichotomy

This is another thing that has cropped up so often I need to write a post I can link to the next time somebody asks “Should I write my own game engine or should I use Unity?“

The answer is neither. It’s a false dichotomy. If you don’t want to use (Unity3D, or Godot, or Unreal Engine), you are not compelled to make your own replacement game engine with the same feature-set of Unity3D from scratch before you write a game. There are not two choices, there is a whole continuum, a three-way trade-off between flexibility, functionality, and ease of use.

The answer to “Should I write my own GameMaker?“ is there is already GameMaker, and when you can write your own engine, you probably don’t need a tool like GameMaker. The answer to “Should I write my own Unity3D?“ is there is already Unity3D, and writing something comparable to Unity3D in features and usability is a multi-decade project. If you nonetheless succeed in writing your own big engine, you will have none of the benefits of the ecosystems of engine like Unity3D and UE4 with their asset stores, tutorials, open source libraries, and talented game developers who are already familiar with the engine and have shipped titles under their belt.

You shouldn’t write your own big engine. That doesn’t mean you have to use a ready-made big engine.

The answer to “Should I write my next game from scratch/based on game libraries, but without a ready-made game engine? Or should I just use Unity all the time?“ depends on many things. I have written games with big engines and without them. It took me personally more effort to get Tetris working correctly in Unity3D than in plain Python with PyGame. The level editor of Unity3D and its data structures will also not be as useful if you keep track of the game state in your own data structures, as you would in Tetris, in an incremental “clicker“ game, or in a turn-based game.

If you’re using a “big” engine and a “real“ programming language, you can often use all the features of the engine and implement your own systems inside the engine, or you can bypass the engine and use only the features you need, as long as you have access to a real programming language. Using an engine doesn’t make it impossible to implement Tetris, or a match-3 game, a card game, or a visual novel, but cumbersome at worst. If you’re already confident and fluent in a big engine, there is no reason not to use it to make a small prototype. Ultimately it depends on whether you can make good use of the feature set of a big game engine, and what your alternatives are.

If you are confident with C# and Unity, you may want to try out MonoGame. If you understand how game engines work, you may want to write your own 2D game engine with a scene graph and sprite batching, but 2D game engines like HaxeFlixel and wasabi2D also exist already. The more experience you have writing games, the more you can estimate which engine features your game will need, and how long it would take to write a one-off custom engine that covers the use cases for a particular game idea.

TL;DR

Don’t write your own Unity3D/Godot/Unreal Engine/Lumberyard: These engines are big, and implementing all their features will take years.

Don’t write your own Scratch/ClickTeam Fusion/Construct/GameMaker: If you have the skills to write your own IDE, you probably don’t need a programming system marketed at people who can’t program. You’ll be much better off using an existing programming language.

If you never wrote a small game before, or if you have never used a big engine before, don’t write a big engine. Do your homework and try out big engines, try writing a game without an engine, and think about which features you need!

Sometimes big tools get in your way. You don’t have to use Unity if it’s more hassle than it helps.

[galacticidiots]

AU where Rey and Ben work for rival businesses/companies, but during quarantine, they find they are alone. Thus, begins late night Skype calls to keep each other company. 🥺😔

It’s not a rivalry per se, but when Ben Solo (of Skywalker Farms fame) refused to sell her the tomatoes she needed to make her trademark creamy tomato and basil bisque, claiming they weren’t ‘up to his standards’ and effectively ruining her planned menu for the week, Rey decided she wasn’t above being petty and took her business elsewhere. 

It doesn’t matter that his fruit and veg are the freshest, tastiest, and most supple. It’s the principle of the thing. There are other perfectly suitable farms in the area who would never deny Rey her tomatoes. 

Except now, because of the pandemic, none of them are currently able to deliver her weekly order of produce. Which puts Rey in a real bind. The only way for her tiny bistro to stay afloat through these hard times is if she is able to continue doing business - even if on a strict takeaway-only basis. 

She would cry if she thought it would do her any good. Instead, she takes to baking bread, because flour is the only thing she has left and because kneading enables her to release all her pent-up anger. Take that, yeast. 

When her phone vibrates, she doesn’t bother cleaning her hands before fishing it out of her back pocket and answering without checking the caller ID. Her barked “Yes?” is met with a low, dry chuckle. She recognizes it right away. 

“Good to know you’re still as aggressive as the last time we talked.”

“One, I was not aggressive. And two, what do you want, Solo?”

“You tried to pelt me with a cucumber, Johnson.”

“You shouldn’t have withheld those tomatoes from me. I was desperate.”

“I’ll say.” It sounds like he’s smiling. It makes her blood boil. 

Rey grinds her teeth. “I repeat, what do you want?”

His voice is devoid of any teasing when he says, “I know every other farm within a 50 mile radius is shut down for the time being. Since I run a pretty small operation, the risk of infection is minimal so I can still do business. I was wondering if…” 

She waits for him to finish, hoping he’ll say what she thinks he will. She’ll swallow her pride like a champ if it means he’ll give her his cucumbers. 

“I was wondering if you might need a supplier.” The words run together, like he rushed them out as fast as possible. 

“Yes,” Rey says. “Please,” she adds. She’s not above begging.

There’s a pause on the line. Then, Ben releases a sigh. “Really?” He sounds surprised. 

Guilt coils in her stomach. Had she been that much of an asshole to him? 

“I’d be really, really grateful actually. I’m down to my last carrot. I haven’t seen an aubergine in weeks. Weeks, Ben.” 

“You should have called me,” he says. His voice is soft. Too soft. She knows how big he is - remembers it vividly - and nobody that large should be able to sound that soft. 

“I didn’t realize that was an option. I was bloody awful to you. I’m sorry about that.” If the circumstances were different, she’d hate how tiny her voice sounds. But Ben Solo, knight in shiny farmer overalls, deserves some vulnerability. It’s the least she can do. 

Again, silence permeates both ends of the line. Rey bites her nail, a nervous habit she’s never been able to kick, and gets a mouthful of flour as punishment. 

“It’s okay,” he finally says. “I didn’t handle that like I should have, either. Apology accepted.”

Something inside her settles. Her conscience, perhaps. 

“And hey, I can even squeeze in a batch of tomatoes.”

She smiles, even though he obviously can’t see her. “Yeah? Are they up to your impossible standards? I couldn’t possibly take bruised tomatoes.” 

His laugh is low and harmonious. “They’re exquisite. Your bisque will be perfect.”

“You like my bisque?” She can’t help how surprised - how flattered - she sounds. 

“I like everything about you.” Ben coughs, loudly, then stammers, “Your cooking, I mean. I like everything about your cooking.”

Rey is not blushing. The kitchen’s just hot. 

“Right,” she giggles. “Well, if you can get me those tomatoes today I can make you a batch for you to take home.”

“I’d like that very much.” There’s that softness again. She didn’t realize how much she missed their casual banter, but she’s old enough to admit to herself that that might be why she’s been grumpier than usual. Why the last couple of months have been a bit of a struggle - virus from hell aside. 

Mondays just aren’t the same without the prospect of seeing Ben’s broad shoulders filling her doorway, or his deep, soulful eyes boring into hers. Watching him unload heavy crates of peaches into her kitchen, back muscles straining under his shirt, used to be the highlight of her week. 

She shakes herself and clears her throat, realizing she’s been silent too long. 

“So, today?”

“Absolutely. I have a couple more deliveries to make but I should be able to drop by at around noon. Does that work for you?” 

Rey looks around her empty kitchen. “I’ll be waiting.” 

“Great. Just email me the list of things you need. I should have all your usuals.”

“You got it.”

“Bye, Rey.”

“Wait!” 

“Yes?” He asks, hesitant.

Rey’s heart lurches in her chest. “Thank you, Ben.”

She can hear him inhale, then exhale. There’s a smile on his voice when he replies, “You’re welcome. I’ll see you soon.” 

She hangs up the phone and looks down at the twelve perfectly round loaves of sourdough that dot her counter. Freshly baked bread will go marvelously with her bisque.

Read in full

[normal-thoughts-official]

Raphael and madzie!! please I will sell you my firstborn for some Raphael and madzie content. Like him babysitting and sleepovers and playing dress up and watching Disney movies together. Raphael wearing this tiara and him and madzie playing together. Baking and singing together, going on trips to the park together and Raphael just being so happy.-

-Like if you think about it they are technically cousins🤔 with the whole found family thing, Catarina and Magnus are siblings Raphael is Magnus’ son ergo madzie and Raphael are cousins but they still think of each other as siblings. Raphael is her big brother! Please🥺

ok anon i hope you know that you are literally my new favorite person in the whole wide world and this ask is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i will literally never shut the fuck up about raphael and madzie i will make this brotp a thing if it KILLS me just you watch

idk if id say they are technically cousins because i don’t know if catarina and magnus consider themselves siblings - definitely family for sure, but i get the feeling it’s more of a “generic” family feeling rather than a Specific Dynamic you know? but either way this is found family so it’s not like family tree/architecture is actually that stiff and matters that much, RAPHAEL IS MADZIE’S BIG BRO idc

and it’s literally canon that raphael is the best, most thoughtful, caring and dedicated older brother so like!!! honestly it’s what madzie deserves. she has a wonderful mom (two if you subscribe to dotarina raising madzie together <3) and underful uncles and a wonderful brother who is always on her side and would do anything for her, and that! is! fantastic! 

especially because like madzie is implied to be used to big families, since iris was going around making an army of warlocks basically lmao and like of course that was an abusive family dynamic but the point is that she was used to having siblings. but she was also implied to be the eldest and now she is the youngest! and she gets to have a nice big bro who takes care of her and plays with her and has her as a priority and i just 🥺🥺🥺

and god not to be a slut for raphael and rosa but i picture raphael just telling madzie all that he could about rosa?? you know??? he’s all like “you have an older sister too, you know? it’s a shame you never got to meet” and madzie kind of tilts her head and asks him to tell her about it. so raphael does. he sits down with her and shows her pictures of the both of them together from their childhood up until her death, and he tells her all the stories he possibly can. he says, “she would have loved you just as much as me. she always wanted to be someone’s older sister. said she wanted to take care of them like i take care of her” and madzie is all like “she sounds sweet. i wanted to know her, too” and raphael tears up slightly and he’s like “yeah. yeah. me too, cariño” and she hugs him

and like not to slut over this but i like to think that raphael teaches madzie about the monarch butterflies and día de los muertos and one day they are playing outside and a monarch lands on madzie?? and madzie calls it “rosa” and the butterfly is just flying over her head, alternating between her and raphael, for the whole afternoon? and raphael chokes up. fuck it all the legends are true, i love this alright

just like.... obviously raphael’s relationship with madzie is not some kind of substitute for his relationship with rosa, because madzie deserves better than that and no one can be rosa but rosa. raphael loves madzie for madzie, because she is sweet but fierce, extremely intelligent and with a playful/slightly mischievous (in a good way) side that is slowly blooming as time goes by and she heals from her abuse more and more. she is also good, endlessly caring, kind, compassionate, imaginative, affectionate. madzie is madzie and that’s all she needs to be. but the idea that raphael has someone to share rosa with, even if madzie obviously doesn’t feel about her the same way raphael did as they never met, but to bring her into this new family in a way... and let madzie knows that she also has another sibling looking out for her, even if from another plane... that’s nice and good food okay. and i think madzie would want to know about her, just like she tells raphael about her other siblings from when she lived with iris, even if they never got to be too close (cuz i doubt iris would risk letting them become very close and eventually realize her abuse and possibly rebel against her) 

maybe it’s madzie herself who brings it up, she asks raphael about the pictures in his home or about his “ave rosa” plaque 🥺 and he tells her about it and makes sure that she knows that he doesn’t love rosa more or less than he does madzie, just differently. they are both his little sisters no matter what

anyway! onto more rapha&madzie focused headcanons. first of all you are so correct about playing dress up and shit, raphael is a SIMP and a sucker for his lil sis so he absolutely will wear a tiara if she asks no questions asked. simon sees it one time and he doesn’t even consider making fun of him because raphael shoots him a glare that absolutely reads as “i double dare you, motherfucker”. not because uwu girly stuff just because he has this whole serious vibe and there he is with a tiara and tiny braids. we stan

also look i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, raphael absolutely learns how to handle black/kinky hair for madzie. he was used to doing rosa’s hair but that was very likely straight or just wavy hair. madzie’s hair texture is different and raphael makes it a point to learn everything he can about how to take care of it and make hairstyles that she might like and won’t hurt her, okay? and yes i know that madzie straightens her hair but i like to think that over time she stops. i kinda headcanon that one of the reasons she did it was to look closer to iris, plus just the fact that as a white abuser i doubt she exactly planted it on madzie to love her natural hair. but over time living with catarina and being closer to a mostly-poc family and seeing maia and other beautiful black women with their natural hair and/or afro hairstyles, she stops straightening it, and everyone encourages her, raphael included. he even uses that, like, “i’ve been learning how to do these hairstyles for you, you know” and he shows her some and she gets so excited about trying them and it’s great

(initially he has catarina’s supervision, because again black hair is important and even if raphael is a moc he’s still nonblack. but catarina trusts him and he’s always so careful and makes sure to always listen to what she says, asks questions and all but takes notes lmao, so it works) 

and baking!!! i mean look madzie is gonna be naturally prone to liking to bake, as a warlock and shit. and if regular kids already play with making potions, warlock kids are definitely even worse, especially because she does see catarina, dot, and magnus doing that all the time so it’s one of the things that she likes to mimick. and baking is basically potion making but edible and solid lmao. but like she loves it, mixing the batter, adding sprinkles, seeing as the textures change and the taste builds and stuff like that, you know? she’s definitely fascinated by it especially because she does it without magic and it’s just, wow, so cool to her?? and raphael as the cook that he is is more than happy to teach her, bake with her, and see her enthusiasm. raphael with oven mitts taking a batch of cookies out of the oven yall. i need a second

and like i absolutely subscribe to genius madzie because LOOK that girl is endlessly fucking smart and so intelligent especially for her age, not to mention powerful and observant and just, she’s brilliant. and with both catarina and magnus, huge nerd extraordinaires, and possibly maia because i like to pepper in the fact that maia and raphael are dating, she gets all the incentive she could possibly want to want to learn about both mundane science and magical theory

but in short like! raphael getting her those chemistry sets for kids, you know? where you have some recipes and you can mix up ingredients and they change color or otherwise change and shit? my friend had one of those when we were kids and my god i loved it so much, i was just fascinated. i think madzie definitely would love it, and raphael knows that she will, so he takes a whole day off for when he brings her this gift because he knows they will be playing all afternoon. and they do! she’s super excited about it and raphael as usual is all careful and teaching her how to do it properly without spilling and taking the measures appropriately and stuff. and it’s super sweet

initially they follow the recipes and raphael’s autistic ass is just delighted to do that, but madzie quickly starts doing some #improv, and again, because she is a genius, she quickly starts to figure out what each substance does. so she’s texting theories, trying out experimenting, seeing if she’s right, trying to asses her work? you know? basically literally a mini scientist using the scientific method and stuff and raphael is so proud of her and in awe of how smart she is and he tells her that she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met and kisses her forehead and she giggles and is just super excited?? 

also sometimes she asks raphael what he thinks and he’s just like “uhhh” because he has no idea lmao he’s just happy to see her do her thing and help her with the practical parts. and she giggles at him and she’s lowkey outraged but again, she’s just sweet and he loves her

i also 100% think it was madzie who figured out a potion to make raphael able to eat (oh look what is this fic that mentions that doing here) because FUCK mundane raphael all my homies hate mundane raphael, the heavenly fire made him a daylighter. and she could see how sad raphael was that he didn’t get to eat at all, especially because he clearly loved food and he always had this sort of longing when they were cooking together, you know? it also made her sad that he couldn’t try her cooking, and he was always telling her that to cook, you need to always taste what you’re making, and once she says “but you can’t do that” and he looked so sad she immediately felt bad about it, even if obviously it isn’t her fault

anyway my point is she knows how much this means for raphael and she wants him to be able to eat human food again, both for him and for herself. so she spends a long time studying vampire anatomy/digestive system, food properties, and magic, and she eventually figures out a potion that he can take before a meal that makes him able to eat. it goes slowly, initially he can only drink, but eventually she does figure out a way to make him eat anything and he just cries like a baby tbh. she is worried for a second but then he takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely and peppers kisses on her face and says that this is one of the best things anyone’s ever done for him and that he’ll “forever be in her debt” or something that makes her laugh because raphael doesn’t owe her anything, he’s her brother. and he tears up all over again

of course that takes some years but they’re immortal so who cares. and catarina is SO proud of her little genius for that, too. raphael and maia include the potion as courtesy for any vampire who orders food at taki’s and share the recipe and it’s just a small revolution in the vampire world and madzie is already making history like hot damn. GENIUS MADZIE OKAY

but of course first and foremost she is a kid and deserves to be a kid, i just love her being naturally curious and interesting in researching and learning and stuff. but of course they also play a lot, and keep trying to out-cheat each other as she has magic and he has super abilities and the game becomes more seeing who can cheat the most and get away with it than anything else lol. and it’s its own brand of fun

also, raphael keeps trying to get madzie to eat healthy but the second he averts his eyes she’s like “abrakadabra this is now ice cream” and he’s SO frustrated. absolutely nothing can stop her from doing it. “if you eat these carrots i’ll buy you ice cream later”. guess what she can just turn it into ice cream now. your tactics are meaningless

also madzie playing dressing up! and she wants to be Stylish like her mom and her big bro and her uncle magnus but of course she’s a kid so her sense of style is essentially book magnus lmao but raphael 100% indulges her in all her endeavours and helps her make her outrageous outfits and shit. she likes colorful stuff as we’ve seen and he paints her nails and stuff. sometimes she makes herself mini suits mimicking or straight up matching raphael’s and raphael thinks it’s the cutest thing. especially when she like, imitates his blazer but keeps wearing a boa as well or something. aioudjsauihda i love kids and fashion can you tell

and she sometimes picks out clothes for him and guess what? raphael 100% wears them because it’s madzie and he is s o f t for her

and singing!!! and DANCING!!! there is no way raphael can’t dance no matter how hard he tries to pretend otherwise, and between him, dot, and magnus, madzie just loves to dance and becomes a great dancer in no time. raphael loves twirling her around. also him teaching her the jarabe tapatío you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t be all over that shit. the playing with the dress, the bright colors, dancing around the sombrero.... bitch she would love it. and they have so much fun doing their little improvised version of that and she claps and he has his hands behind his back and has the greatest smile on his face and she’s having so much fun

also raphael loves reading for her!!!! and eventually when they move away from reading books with pictures she starts creating her own “holograms” to illustrate the stories with magic, and raphael is so proud of her!! she’s just immensively creative and makes such beautiful illustrations for the stories and as raphael reads she changes around the setting she’s creating and it’s so fun and they both like it so much?? and she eventually falls asleep on his lap and he tucks her in and kisses her forehead and 🥺🥺

she also likes to paint and idk why but i have a feeling that raphael fucking sucks at painting, so that’s funny and he smiles and says that she has so much more talent than him... 

and every time they are together raphael has the hugest smile on, it just doesn’t leave his face for a second. especially when they are playing outside in the sun and he just so fucking happy and basking in the warmth and playing with her, you know? and as madzie grows older, talking and just chilling together as well? you know? he just loves her so much and his cheeks almost hurt by the end and just aaaaaaaaa they are the sibling dynamic we DESERVE and DEMAND 

[mythgirlimagines]

ANON-CORRECT QUOTES

———————————-

(in Eldritch’s dorm)

One: Sorry, Eldritch. But, conspiracy theories aren’t exactly my cup of tea. Thankfully, I know something that is my cup of tea!

(cuts to the dining room)

One: (having a tea party with Eldritch) A cup of tea!

Eldritch: (confused) Why d-did you j-just s-say that?

One: Remember when I said: “Thankfully, I know something that is my cup of tea!”? I was just finishing the thought.

Eldritch: B-But, you s-s-said th-that an hour ago!

One: (taken over by MM!Fancy) Well, imagine if you were an outside observer just watching pieces of the conversation.~★

Eldritch: (paranoid and shaking) Y-YOU SEE THEM TOO?! 

Eldritch: (suspiciously glares at the camera)

Source: Sonic Boom!

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yV98UjGkLQ)

————————————-

Scar: (dramatically and loudly) YOU HAVE A FAKE ID, DEMON OF VELOCITY?! WITH A FAKE NAME AND EVERYTHING?!

Fusion II: (trying to play it cool) I don’t have to explain myself to you, Mo-I mean, Scar!

Scar: EXPLAIN YOURSELF, O'DEMON OF VELOCITY!

Fusion: (matter-of-factly) She used it to get a second library card, so she can borrow twice as many books at once.

Source: Unknown

————————————–

Purple: (looking over Nerd’s typed rant against Mono-Anon) That’s the improper use of a hyphen, and that’s a run-on sentence. This is a particularly glaring error…one shouldn’t terminate a sentence with a preposition. 

Nerd: (grumbles angrily, writes something down, and hands it to Purple)

Purple: (reading the note) Not to be anal-retentive, but ‘off’ is amongst the cavalcade of grammatical prepositions.

Source: Frasier 

————————————-

Wyre: (pridefully, about to bust a gut) Yo, Dream! Check this out! Me and Myth just told Janon that his ears turn red when he lies, and now we can tell if he’s really lying!

Dream: (amazed at her senpais) REALLY?! How did you do that, Wyre-senpai?!

Myth: Let me show you!

Myth: (turns to Janon) Hey, Janon! Do you love us?

Janon: (covering his ears with his hands, blushing beet red) N-No!

Source: Unknown

————————————–

Sparkle: I, THE SPECTACULAR SPARKLE, AM NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE AT NIGHT! FOR I OUTSHINE THE MOON AND THE STARS, SO BABY TURTLES END UP FLOCKING TOWARDS ME!

Source: Twitter

—————————————

(all of the Anons are about to go to bed)

Egg: (somewhat ominously) Listen, if there’s ever a night where you can’t sleep, I’ll come into your room and sing “Kumbaya”.

Fusion: (confused and somewhat unnerved) I……don’t even know what to say.

Wet Sock: (slapping the back of Egg’s head, threateningly) I do. Don’t ever do that.

Source: The Golden Girls

—————————————-

Curious: (talking about some funny stories about their workplace)

Janon: (slightly giggles)

Curious: (surprised)

Janon: What?

Curious: You rarely laugh, Janon. You never laugh when Myth tells one of her jokes or anything.

Janon: (flustered) I-I wasn’t laughing! I-I was j-just-

Curious: (puts their hand underneath Janon’s chin) Hehe! You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed, Janon.

Janon: (blushing beet red and sweating nervously)

Janon: Curious….

Curious: Hm?

Janon: (angrily) I! AM! NOT! CUTE!

(SLAP!)

(Soon after, in Scar’s office)

Scar: So, what incurred the Demon of Sloth’s wrath, O'Demon of Servitude?

Curious: (with a slap mark on their right cheek) I don’t know. I just said he was cute.

(Meanwhile…)

Janon: (walking with Iris, still blushing and muttering under his breath) Baka-Curi…Baka-Curi…Baka-Curi…Baka-Curi!

Iris: (trying to psyche her big bro up) Hey, Janon! I think it’s great that Curious complimented you!

Janon: (angrily) Shut up, Riri! I HATE compliments!

Source: Archive Of Our Own

Fanfiction Source: (http://insecure.archiveofourown.org/works/20987021)

———————————————-

Ah! So nice to be back after a week! And I’ve got a fresh, piping hot, new batch of “Papa Fusion’s Weekly Anon-Correct Quotes”! Tell me what you think of these new quotes! In the meantime, stay in (quarantined) school, eat your vegetables, don’t do drugs, and PEACE OUT!

---

Love these ones!!