#to ignore them and not think too hard abt it as that might cause a domino effect hes not ready for

[chisatowo]

Thinking soooo hard abt past timeline stalien stuff rn.... Just Sprinkles and Looser just completely centering their worlds around eachother, both so desperate to break away from eachother but unable to conceive a world in which they're not the only ones in it. It's not until one of them is gone, when Sprinkles should have finally won, that the tears in her worldview become too evident to ignore, that it becomes unavoidable that the world is much bigger than she let herself grapple with, that people outside of her lead real lives, that things were never as simple as Looser being the sole thing dragging her down. Also then all the others start dropping dead like flies and she's having like 50 breakdowns at once and she tells Brute abt None of this because of course she didn't

[riongeee]

Hearr me outtt

Sebek (After malleus OB(that ended vry badly)) goes back in time, BUT not at the start of the year. He goes back in time as a child (4-8 y/o).

Like, he regains his memories thru a dream, he wakes up screaming and crying. His family js thinks that he had a nightmare or smth.

Now, he's trying to better himself. He's studying rlly hard (particularly abt overblots), and trys to be nicer to his father.

When he gets into NRC, he expects to get into diasomnia. Instead he's sorted somewhere else,

What dorm do u think he would end up in?? I was thinking ab this for a while,but i cant rlly decide..

Pls bestow upon me your divine wisdom, oh wise one 🙏🙏

Me + dorm swapping Sebek is basically my whole thing now (I am not complaining >:D)

So, assuming this, Sebek has gone through some absolutely traumatising stuff before being stuffed into his child body. Perhaps the reason he went back in time is actually because either he or Malleus die. (Malleus because maybe it caused a huge burst of magic...enough to send Sebek back)

So 6 year old Sebek wakes up absolutely in shambles, he watched his whole life play out and end.

Because of Sebek and his personality, I think he'd blame himself, maybe for not being strong or smart enough to protect Malleus. So he throws himself into studying, improving himself. His parents are worried about him but Sebek just drives himself into the ground studying and training in an endless loop.

Eventually, it gets to the point he is physically and mentally exhausted, maybe Sebeks dad thinks this is a result of the bullying he received for being half fae and just breaks down in front of Sebek. He thinks it's his fault his baby is hurting himself. This leads to Sebek seeing how hurt his family are by Sebeks self destructive behaviour and he breaks down in tears too. In his past life one of his main regrets was how he treated his father so he seeks to remedy it in this life.

He then decides to bring the whole family closer. Although his grandfather wasn't the nicest he still cared for Sebek and Sebek remembered that. When nobody else in his family understood Sebeks personality, Baul understood. So he doesn't want to die and leave his family on strained terms like in the last life.

Atleast if he dies again, they'll have eachother.

So through, some hard work , Sebek brings the family closer, he still has little to no friends, as unlike the last life he has still not been sent to Lillia for training(Sebek dreads seeing Diasomnia again).

When one day Baul asks if Sebek wants to train with a person Baul knows, he almost says yes before hesitating, he had never been as close to them as they were with eachother, so, if in this life he watched from afar..... maybe things would go better? (He ignores the way his hands tremble at the thought of seeing Malleus again, he nearly envisions the sound of tearing flesh before snapping back into reality).

So Sebek continues his efforts, he studies and trains like a man possessed.

When the day comes for his sorting ceremony Sebek doesn't look up until his name is called.

He doesn't look back (perhaps if he did he'd see Lillias anguished face, deapite not knowing the first year he feels as if he does)

So Sebek steps towards the mirror. Knowing.

"Savanaclaw!"

His eyes widen.

>:)

Okay so a few explanations of some of the details.

I'm rolling with the idea that Malleus died while overblotting and the sheer amount of magic reversed time.

Only Sebek fully remembered what happened (for now...) whilst others may feel deja vu or get flashbacks. Which is why Lillia feels something at seeing Sebek despite technically not meeting him. (For max angst potential everyone else slowly regain their memories and start to investigate why Sebek is so different)

Also Savanaclaw because it is the dorm of persistence and Sebek is persistent on improving and avoiding the outcome he saw. (Could also work with other dorms but I think Savanaclaw or Pomefiore are best for this).

Might expand on this but idk

[coochie-sniffer3000]

jefftony rant of the evil variety

jefftony…… for one of my favs i got a LOTTT of icks abt it. and this comes from someone who loves it a whole bunch—i js think that there are a lot of problems that i feel like aren’t addressed enough by shippers?? i come from a place of thinking that a stronger story can come out of them growing out of these habits and getting better. anyw

i think the big problem is that they COULD be ridiculously cute together, but instead tony ends up being super codependent and jeff is completely nonreciprocal. and oooooowww it stings

im gonna start with what is imo the problem area: tony. and….dude. it’s like. YOU KNOW. hes so codependent it’s sick. itoi dont write randomly tragic things into your fiction challenge go. when he gets up in ness’s business to tell him hes jeff’s beeest friend (not jealous at all). just like all the seeking him out frequently with the call and the letter. when you waltz up to him with a knocked out jeff and he????? has?? a meltdown???!?!?!! 😨 just screaming and crying in unfiltered fear???? a lot of the text in earthbound is either super monotone or kinda smartass small talk (even the horrifying final boss is based on “simple yet effective”) and tony in this scene is just so jarringly raw it made my heart drop directly to my stomach and out my ass. cause what

and then when you’re someone who cares abt tony as much as i do and tends to over analyze stuff that has to do with him, you get a lot of jeff too. im telling you i do love jeff. hes a sweet kid and definitely well meaning. but my interpretation on him is from the pov of someone who perceives him from over tonys shoulder and goooood goddddd he treats tony like a wet towel. im gonna go ahead and say i do not blame jeff for the way he feels—jeff doesn’t NEED to love someone back, it’s just that he’s definitely FRIENDS with him and from that stepping point he SERIOUSLY falls short… i understand it wasn’t really his choice to leave a day before tony’s birthday, but did he really have to go out stealing like 20 custom birthday cookies? and while he was at it ignore and avoid him even AFTER the adventure that prevented him from staying with him?? and to think he does all this while tony keeps forgiving him and offering aid and PINING!!! SO HARD!!!! i’d say jeff kinda saves himself by going like “that tony’s got a heart of gold 🥹❤️” very last minute but that was a CLUUTCH. i’d lose hope for him entirely if he was like “uhh.. yea you can keep that ness 😅” cause atp it’s WAY too far up his alley for his own gd good

in conclusion jeff needs a wake up call so fucking bad. please dont ditch your friend who loves you unconditionally for your dad who dropped you off when you were two. please. or i might kill you

[brandogenius]

oh we NEED smth abt grumpy!masc!readers first time crying in front of julien

-🦧

imma write this one before i go to bed hehehe it is 1am but this is all i can think about rn RAHHH

‼️RPF‼️

BLURB - julien x masc grumpy reader - first time crying

- the first time reader cried in front of julien was actually during a fight 😭

- back and forth between each other for the past three days. what was the cause? they both don’t even remember. all they know is tensions were high in the house. any small thing would set them off into a screaming match

- it was about different things. right now julien was shouting at masc because they went out for a smoke (even after promising jb they wouldn’t smoke anymore) to cope with the stress and constant anxiety

- reader has been worried sick with anxiety for the past few days. obviously they won’t show it. worried julien might end up leaving and never coming back. or calling it quits.

- it was something reader worried about deep inside. about people abandoning them. getting too attached to people for them to end up leaving. it’s why they close their walls up and shove people away. a facade to stop getting close to people. yet julien was the one who managed to break the walls down just a tiny bit

- masc grumpy reader watching julien shout and point a finger. reader ignoring jb. not wanting to reply or fight. in their head thinking keeping silent would be better.

- yes it hurts and it’s tiring to fight with your partner but reader won’t stand there and be shouted at for having one cigarette

- julien just walking out of the room and stomping upstairs. reader hot on julien’s tail. anxiety and dread filling their stomach like “where the fuck are you going?” and julien’s in the bedroom taking a suitcase out of the wardrope like “if you’re not gonna listen to me then i’m leaving”

- reader standing there like “no- no you can’t” and julien’s like “idc” and at this point reader is standing at the door like with tears in their eyes trying to stop them from rolling down their face. you know with that lump in your throat you can’t talk or you’ll end up sobbing

- julien with her back faced reader, packing her shorts but hears this sniff and a small “please” and turning around and staring in shock at reader who’s curled in on themselves in the doorframe, eyes red and puffy as tears roll down their face, avoiding julien’s gaze

- julien who hasent seen reader ever cry or show well? emotions of sadness before is kinda just sat on the floor in shock. maybe she remembers and knows that masc grumpy reader has a hard time with people leaving / getting attached.

- julien standing up and rushing over to reader like “i’m sorry- it’s ok- i’m here” and just her heart breaking as reader collapses and breaks down, holding onto julien like it’s the only thing she has.

- reader who doesn’t initiate physical contact first other than a small hug or resting their hand on julien’s thigh. having them cry into her chest was something that HURT

- rubbing their back like “i’m not gonna go anywhere- i promise” and reader who holds into jbs shirt even tighter like “don’t go”

- bringing reader over to the bed, both lying down on it. the only time masc grumpy reader would ever be little spoon in this situation ngl

- reader tiring themselves out and end up passing out on julien’s chest. julien sat there with tears in her own eyes. it hurt to see reader crumble like this. promising to talk about it in the morning

(i’m open to turning this into a fic 👁️ if y’all want one. where first part i can expand on this ^^ more. getting more lore for masc grumpy reader)

[lun6laveria]

tumblr i would like to properly introduce you guys to my benrey oc, Little B.

ok so first and most important thing if you squeeze him in your hand he makes a squeaky noisethat is his true form, HE IS that small HIS PASSPORT IS EXACTLY THAT SIZE… i definetly didint just think correctly when i was drawing this but now its true not normal sized passport you can squeeze him like a stress toy but if you throw him against the wall it MIGHT crack 50/50 chance of him either becoming one with the wall or it breaking he can posses objects and make them float he choses to walk most of the time even tho hes SMALL and hes been stepped on atleast 6 times he also SCOURS through black mesa vents like the lil rat he is he does this real oftently and yes he has rat friends hes also "accidentally" fallen inside scientist's experiments causing them to fail dont ask HOW. none of the scientist like that lil mf bc he ruins so many things except for OOOONEEEE that i wont be naming.. his fav UNEDIBLE food IS battery acid his fav edible food is strawberry jam sandwich he could eat it entirely and the only reason he hasnt left black mesa yet is bc he does not like his own realm not bc theres something wrong with it, hes just not satisfied ANDDD THIS GUY DOESNT REALLY ENJOY SPEAKING he only lets out squeaks sometimes (rarely) thats when scientists try talking to him he either just..stares at them, ignores them or runs tf away but hes not that fast you can hear squeaky noises when he walks or runs too he flipped one of them off once he really likes chewing on passports his bmsv is like a bunch of distorted black lines that can exist for 30 seconds to 5 mins thats why scientists see weird floating black lines sometimes around the facility you can MOLD him theres time to time where his clothes, his helmet and his body turn into clay-like he doesnt do this by himself he cant control it, but this IS kind of hard to happen and he also becomes like unconscious while this happens but if you do mold him he takes 1 hour to go back to normal if nothing touches him he takes only 2 mins to go back to normal HE CAN STILL CHANGE HIS OWN SIZE THOU but he likes being tiny the only times he'll ever change his size to bigger is to play his cello that he keeps somewhere deep in the facility n he only does it at night only being specific on the last part bc i love cellos. he can't feel pain, and he understands all languages if anyone has any other questions abt him dont be afraid to ask

[b4rbi3l4nd]

SOS — bad as i wanna be yours

I THINK Y'ALL MIGHT LIKE WHAT GOES DOWN IN THIS CHAPTER IF YOU'RE SO DAMN UPSET ABT THE BABY LMFAO. Also I plan on continuing this series based off some of my fav songs on the albums so don't worry, it may seem like it's over but it is NOT, also a lot of y'all kept ASKING how Malia got pregnant, WELLL, first of all it's Wakanda, they probably got some vibranium super sperm or something and NEXT JUST IGNORE THAT AND SAY FANFICTION MAGIC Y'ALL. Also the only marvel movies/series I can watch without skipping through like dialogue or dozing off is the Black Panther movies and WandaVision so if these personalities do not match the MCU characters then MY BAD, ALSO LIKE THINKING OF HAVING A Y/N x PETER SERIES COMING IN SOON BC I ALREADY HAVE THE IDEA. IF THIS ALSO DOES NOT MATCH THE CORRECT MCU TIMELINE THEN MY BAD AGAIN, NOT A MARVEL FANATIC FR, I JUST CARE ABT BLACK PANTHER AND WANDA💀😦OR MAYBE A MODERN AVATAR SERIES? HM? OR NOT LMAO

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋

GIF by mandalor-din

series summary: you broke up with shuri a few years ago and left wakanda for good until namor. now that he's killed the queen and multiple wakandan civilians, he's seen as a great threat and as former second in command at shuri's lab and wakanda's loyal warrior it is your duty to return and fight for your country. but a certain somebody makes the mission way too hard to deal with.

episode summary: after the night with shuri, you're feeling way too uncomfortable around her, especially since you kept getting flashbacks the whole day, you thought she'd felt the same way but no, absolutely opposite. paired up with that, a surprise at the palace causes the final war to break out...or is it?

genre: ANGST, slow, slow, slow burn, fluff

pairing: shuri x black fem reader

episode warnings: mature dialogue, suggestive dialogue, suggestive scenes, cursing, trauma, shouting, mentions of death, suicide, missing people etc. this is a series. you are currently looking at the fourth chapter of the series, please go to my profile to read the previous chapters before continuing (if you haven't read the other chapters yet, if so, please continue)

taglist: @yvxmpire, @sweetalittleselfish-honey, @xxmilli, @queenofsimpsblog, @ziayamikaelson, @shuriislut, @atssukoo, @widowmakker, @cuddl3s4shur1, @n7cje, @ts1mp0ne, @locoforshuri

proofread?: no but if there are errors then it's grammarly's fault.

word count: girl idfk

inspirations: 'SOS' — SZA

song: 'Love Language' — SZA

send your thoughts and requests

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You rub your eyes before blinking repeatedly and looking around. The first thing you feel as your senses come to is the arms of someone around you.

Memories immediately come flooding to your mind as your mouth dropped to the floor wide open.

"Tonight, baby i want you."

"I love when you wear that sthandwa"

"Fuck, I love when you get vocal entle.

"Hm...? It's just one finger baby, you can take more than that right?"

You stopped your mind from spitting out more dirty words that Shuri said to you last night. You took deep breaths before looking over at your phone on the nightstand.

10:30 AM.

You put your hands on hers, slowly removing them from your body. As you tried to free from her grip, she just tightened them and pulled you even closer. You could feel her breath on your neck.

Fuck was she awake?

You slowly turned around in the bed till you were face to face with her. She was so beautiful in her sleep, her curls just perfectly falling in place in her face.

You shook your head.

Stay focused Y/N.

You tried again, this time, grabbing a pillow and putting it in your place before rolling out of bed.

Once you got out, you sighed and then looked at yourself in the mirror. Her t-shirt was bunched up on your hips, completely exposing the lower half of your body. You looked around for your lingerie, slipping the lower half on. The panties with the stockings and ribbons at the knee.

You looked around, grabbing all your clothes, your phone and your stuff and piling it in your hands before slowly exiting the apartment.

You sighed, closing the door carefully as you leaned against the wall.

Bast..what was I thinking..

Your mind wandered back to last night, just thinking about the pleasure made your knees buckle.

"OH SHURI, SHURI, YES, YES, YES!" You moaned out in pleasure as your vision turned white.

"That's it baby...keep going." Shuri groaned in your ear as she quickened her pace, you held onto her arm, feeling her restraint.

You bit your lip, bringing yourself back to reality as you slinked back along the walls. You had to get to your room without getting noticed.

It took a while, especially with a bunch of Dora Milaje warriors and guards roaming around the castle. You finally got out your key and placed it against the door, opening the door to your room.

You sighed, closing your door quietly as you placed your head against it.

"Where were you last night?"

Shit.

You turned around to be met with Riri. Her hands were on her hips as she looked at you up and down, raising an eyebrow at your attire.

"Riri...I fucked up."

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"YOU HAD SEX WITH THE QUEEN?!"

"SHHHH! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU!" You shushed Riri loudly as she slapped her hands over her mouth.

"Y/N, do you know how BAD that is. Um, not only is she the QUEEN OF WAKANDA AND YOUR BOSS but she's also your ex?! What were you thinking?! When I said we wanted them panties dropping, I didn't mean by HER!"

"I know, I know, it's just...I was just not thinking straight, at all."

Riri sighed deeply, sitting down on your bed before patting a spot next to you.

"Well, it already happened, just tell me you guys used protection?"

You blinked a couple times before looking off to the side, your mouth folding inwards.

"Omg, you didn't use protection?! Okay, at least tell me that she pulled out or something!"

You look down, distinctively remembering her pushing up against you, the feeling of just her filling you up.

"Okay, has this turned to mission: get a baby or what?! First it's Malia, now it's you!"

"It's fine! Okay, I'll just...get on the pill!" You throw yourself back on your bed, putting a hand on your stomach.

"You weren't on the pill before?"

"Why would I be? I haven't had sex in 4 years."

"Wow that's sad...God, that's sad."

"I'm a grown woman, okay. I don't need to have sex to properly function." You turned around in your spot as Riri thought for a moment.

"Well, how was it?"

"Really good....really...really..good."

"O-kay then...what did she say? Was her words slurring? Because if so then she was drunk and she might wake up not remembering anything so you might be in the clear."

"No...no, she was very much sober, especially after the bath.."

"Y'ALL SHOWERED TOGETHER?! Y/N!" Riri stood up, shocked and you soon followed after, standing with her.

"I know! I know okay but she just always did aftercare..she even used the little panther bath bombs I always loved..but.." You trailed off, looking to the side, worry spread across your face.

"What? But what?" Riri asked, looking at you with concern.

"She kept calling me nicknames and pet names like...baby and my love and beautiful and she referred to her bed as our bed AND...she said she loved me...on multiple occasions, even when she rocked me to sleep, she kept whispering sweet nothings...Riri, I'm folding." You fold your arms together to keep your knees from buckling. Her voice just did stuff to you.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. Y/N, get a grip of yourself, you're a grown-ass woman. Okay? Look, this is only gonna open up a world of problems, I mean if she was sober, telling you that she loves you?! God..." She looked at you as you bit your lip.

"I got it!" You raised your hands up with a nervous smile. "I'll just ignore her, she probably feels regret like I do so, we just won't speak for a long time till we have to."

And that's exactly what you did for the rest of the day, you ignored her. You went to the lab extra late that day so you blended in with the extra people, making it harder for her to see you. You strictly stayed downstairs even though some of the stuff you needed was on the second floor but you knew she'd be there so you made custom parts. Whenever she came into view, you'd immediately turn around and hide behind something or someone. She even called out your name a few times but you just kept quiet, you really didn't want that awkward after-sex conversation.

And everything was pretty going great with your plan, except for the random flashbacks during the day. It was now lunch time and you were heading over to the cafe where you normally met up with Riri. As you entered the huge place, you scanned the room, immediately noticing Shuri sitting at a table with M'Baku, Nakia and Okoye. Riri was sitting on the other side of the room, headphones in and eating her food.

You sighed. As you looked back at Shuri, you noticed she was already looking at you and you quickly diverted eye contact. Out of your peripheral vision, you noticed her walking towards you and you quickly made your way over to the counter, ordering your food.

You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting for your food, knowing she was getting closer. You looked with a side eye, noticing she had stopped and was distracted by someone. Once your food finally came, you took it and practically sprinted over to Riri, sitting at the table, sighing.

"Oh my God, she was walking over to me.." You start rambling, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down.

"Just take your time Y/N." Riri said, taking off her headphones. "You think she forgot already?"

"Hopefully."

You settle, looking down at your food as you pick up a fork but you freeze when you feel someone's hands on your shoulders.

"Hey," Shuri said, moving her hands over to your waist.

"Heyyyy..." you mutter out as she moved her lips over to your neck. You looked over at Riri who had a shocked face and was motioning with her eyes over to the door.

"Um...actually..." You stopped her before she could start kissing your neck, standing up as she stood up straight, looking at you confused.

"I need to go take care of...stuff." You smile weakly at her and exit the cafe.

"I'll go...check on her with the...stuff." Riri stands up, rushing after you, leaving Shuri lost.

You sigh as you push open the doors to the throne room, sitting down on a chair. You smoothen out your dress, running your hands on your thighs before looking out the large windows to calm yourself down.

"What was that out there?!" Riri says, walking in behind you.

You turn over to Riri, shrugging. "I don't know, she just came up to me and started kissing my neck, I don't know if she thinks we're dating now..."

"I mean you 2 fucked...and she said she loved you, that's like a dating thing right?" Riri asked, sitting in front of you.

"I'm not sure.."

"But do you love her?"

"I do. Of course, I do...surprisingly never stopped."

"Well, then you wanna date her right?"

You paused at this. Did you wanna date her?

"Of...course..." You trailed off, looking to the side, sounding unsure.

"Y/N..?" Shuri asked, opening the doors to the throne room.

"I'll...leave you 2 be." Riri stood up, walking out the room as Shuri walked in, sitting across from you.

It was an awkward silence for a bit before Shuri spoke up. "I'm sorry if what I did in the cafe made you uncomfortable I just thought...-"

"No, no it's fine." You stopped her, giving her a smile.

"Um, about last night." She started, looking at you.

"Oh God.." you muttered under your breath, feeling a wave of embarrassment.

"I want you to know that I wasn't drunk or under the influence when I said all that stuff..I really mean it, I do love you and I know I said that I wasn't gonna ask you to be my girlfriend or anything I just...I really missed you Y/N." She took your hands in hers as she stared you deep in the eye. "I want to explore us again...I want to be your girlfriend Y/N."

Your breath hitched at her declaration of love. You slightly frowned. "And it's not that I don't want that it's just...there are things about me that you don't know."

"So tell me, tell me everything Y/N." Shuri leaned in closer as you bit your lower lip.

"It's not that simple.." You released your hands from her grip, looking down, tears watering in your eyes. Whenever you thought about it, those memories flooded your mind, horribly.

Shuri didn't say anything and looked at you before sighing and standing up. "It's fine, just forget about last night." She turned around, taking a deep breath as she started her way to the door.

"I can't just forget about last night Shuri.." You choke out, looking up and to the side as she shook her head, not even turning her head to you.

"Just keep things professional..okay?" She opened the door to the throne room as you looked down.

You really didn't want to fuck everything up again but you just didn't like talking about it, talking about her. You choked on your words, blinking back your tears as you fiddled with your fingers.

"It was when I left Wakanda." You made out as you heard the throne room door close.

"You don't have to share if you don't want to..." Shuri turned back around, walking over to you and sitting down.

"No, no, listen..." You look up, wiping away tears, taking a shaky breath in and out. "I was...working with the avengers...recruited by Stark."

Your mind flashed back to 4 years ago when Tony Stark recruited you. You shook hands with him, smiling as he smiled back.

"Gotta make room for new growing minds right?" Tony said.

"Yes sir." You nervously said, pushing up your glasses.

It was the first time you've seen Tony smile when he wasn't with his wife and you really didn't want to get him riled up.

You had your hair in an afro and you were wearing a dark blue suit jacket with a matching skirt, white pumps and white pearls.

As you exited the office in Stark Industries, you bumped into a tall white woman with ginger hair in a black suit.

"Hey, you must be the new recruit, right? I'm Natasha Romanoff" She held out her hand for a handshake and you shook it.

"Y/N Amadi." You say, your Wakandan accent seemingly very strong because she noticed right away.

"Wakandan?" She raised an eyebrow as you nodded your head. "So you're like the smart one, like Shuri right?"

At the mention of her name, you looked down slightly and then nodded again, the sight of her crying and begging you not to go on the floor still fresh in your mind.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah just had a lot on my mind, what were you saying?" You look back up at the woman as she looked to the side and then back at you.

"Come meet my team, you're going to be working with us for some time anyway." She took your hand, leading you over to a different room.

"Everything was fine for a while until I met her."

You noticed another younger woman, she was ginger as well and you approached her.

"Hi, I'm...Y/N, you?"

She turned around to face you, almost seeming shy before she smiled at you with her green eyes.

"I'm Wanda."

"Wanda was my first friend, she showed me around a lot, we worked together but she could get very emotional and sometimes she scared me when talking about her lover? Vision..a robot. She would have me work on him, even when Tony told us he was off limits."

"Are you sure we're supposed to be here?" Your voice was timid as you jumped the fence with Wanda and she rolled her eyes slightly.

"Yes, come on, Vision is in this building." She led you over to the huge building, government territory.

You scanned a fake card that wanda had you make as you guys entered the territory. She led you through the building and down into some sort of lab where a huge blanket sheet was on a table.

She flipped on the lights and then carefully walked over to the table, taking off the sheet revealing the most beautiful and well crafted robot you've ever seen.

"Oh my Bast...and you say he's like a human?" You walk along the sides of the table as Wanda admired him.

"Yes, Vision can talk, walk, act like one..." She sighed at him before looking up at you. "But the government has kept him here out of unfairness."

"Are you positive, they kept him here because they are unfair?" You raised an eyebrow at Wanda. "Maybe they kept him here for other reasons..-"

"No. I know the government, they want to take my vision from me, which is why you must help me. Please Y/N, I'm your best friend, remember?" She took your hands in hers and you turned to the side, looking away slightly before nodding.

"Alright but I don't want Tony to know, or else I'll lose my job and if the government finds out, I'll be put in a federal prison or executed."

"They won't. We'll start off small, you'll help restore Vision and then when he's good to go, I'll take him away. It'll be safe, I promise."

"And so I agreed. We would go over to the lab, nightly. Every day and we wouldn't leave until the sun shone over. As time passed on though, there was this thing, gem...stone rather in Vision's head and with more work done to him, the more it glowed. I realized soon that it would be dangerous to continue working on him, especially since I didn't know the dangers of this gem."

"You'll be fine Y/N, it's just used to power Vision, continue quickly. They'll soon get here." Wanda rushed you but you shook your head.

"No, it's glowing unnaturally, I can't continue to work on it."

"Y/N, you're just being paranoid, come on. We have to go soon."

"No, Wanda...look." You reached over to touch the stone but that's when your pupils went white and the gemstone turned black.

"Y/N!" was all you heard before footsteps and then you blacked out.

"I woke up in prison. Federal prison. We got caught...well, I got caught. Wanda got away and I later found out that she made a town with Vision and...whatever, but still. I was right about that gemstone. You know those dark purple things you saw come out the other day..yeah, we're...getting there."

"Who...who are you..?!" You speak out, sitting on the floor, backing away as a shadowy figure was standing in the center of the room, staring back at you.

Your glasses were broken and you were in federal prison by now, changed into gray and white clothes.

"I am dar, your companion forever. You summoned me, remember?" The figure walked towards you before a disfigured smile formed on it's face and it stretched your mouth out, open wide and then entered inside you, feet first and then the body.

God, it was terrifying and the person watching the surveillance camera was later put in a ward.

"I later found out it was a she and she was tethered to me. She was a virus I apparently created. When I worked with Vision, I was supposed to take out the gem but we didn't and whenever errors were made, I thought I erased them but...it just went into the gem until it became uncontrollable. I basically cursed myself with some magical coding shit, I don't know. I gave myself powers in the WORST wat imaginable and she's really only released with pent-up rage or sadness..."

You looked up at Shuri who was just staring back at you with an unreadable expression. You buried your face in your head, sighing.

"I know..I know, I sound stupid, I know."

"No, no, you don't, it's just that that's a lot. I'm sorry..- thank you for telling me." She reached out to touch your hand and you let her.

"Well, I didn't want it to seem like I was rejecting you...because I'm not."

You two look at each other in comfortable silence as you share a weak smile. She looked like she was about to say something but that's when the doors to the throne room burst open and a dora milaje warrior rushed in.

"Malia...she's gone.!"

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You and Shuri rushed through the hallways with the warrior following you as you entered the infirmary, horrified with what you saw.

The doctor's stomach was gutted open and there was a tear in the vibranium wall, separating the cell from the rest of the palace.

You pressed your hand over your mouth as you looked down at the woman's lifeless body on the ground, her eyes wide open, seeing everything and nothing.

"What happened here?!" Shuri asked, looking over to the warrior.

"Nalaji...she was giving Malia her lunch but as she opened up the barrier to place the food in, Malia suddenly lashed out and attacked her. No weapons were found, none was there a trace of any vibranium used in the crime scene except for the wall."

You look into the cell and there was a plate of food scattered all across the floor.

"THE BORDERS!" Shuri rushed out to the infirmary as a loud alarm went off. It took you some time as you stumbled out of the room, following the sound of Shuri's voice, leading you over to the lab.

"My Queen...your girlfriend, Y/N has entered the lab."

"Thank you Griot." Shuri sounded annoyed as she waved through some work on the top floor, people scurrying around.

Despite all the chaos, it caused some butterflies in your chest that Shuri had programmed Griot to call you her girlfriend and ACTUALLY say your name...it was better than being called "unknown woman" every time you entered the lab.

You rushed over to your working space, and opening your laptop but you were deterred away from the computer as you heard screaming. You looked up at the windows to be met with the horrific sight of some warriors at the water borders completely dead and gutted, a rip made in the borders.

"SECURE ALL THE BORDERS!" Shuri ordered as warriors and people rushed out of the lab as directions were dished out to everyone.

"Are the ships ready for battle?" Shuri asked one of the people at the lab.

"Yes, my queen."

"Good. We're bringing the battle over to them. If they think they can just come and kill my people, they are horribly mistaken."

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"YIMBAMBE!" Shuri shouted out, raising her fist out into the air as the Wakandan warriors repeated.

"YIMBAMBE!" They repeated.

"YIMBAMBE!"

"YIMBAMBE!"

You looked out to the water as Namor and the Talokans emerged and jumped onto the ships, and immediately the fighting began.

"You blue people were better in Avatar..." You scoffed as you grabbed the daggers from your back pockets, ready to face them off.

As a warrior approached you, heading for a punched, you grabbed her fist and threw her down on the floor, slicing her throat open, then you turned around quickly, punching another one coming behind you, throwing them across the ship as the landed hard on the floors. You stepped back, looking at the scene. It had just started and bodies were already dropping.

You fought off more people before noticing Namor. You ran straight for him but he turned around just in time, grabbing your neck, lifting you up in the air.

You gasped for air as you looked down, moving one leg so far back and then kicked him with maximum power, right in the groin and then moving another leg to kick him in the neck.

His grip on you loosened as you fell to the floor, you grabbed a spear slicing at his thigh, causing him to fall over. Your eyes were like slits now as you were looking at him with pure hatred. You wanted to kill him, drive your hand right through his chest and bring out his heart.

"You took my dad from me." You spat at him, bringing your foot to his neck, pressing harder.

"DAD!" You heard a familiar voice shriek as you look up, brought face to face with Malia. She was in a warrior outfit and she looked at you with anger burning in her eyes.

You quickly looked down, grabbing Namor by the hair, pulling him up.

"Y/N...unhand my father now." Malia said, hissing at you as you scoffed.

"You can say that about your dad but guess what, can't say that about my dad now can I? Where was this attitude when your father over here drowned his grave..hm?" You looked over at Namor, stepping on one of his wings as you held a dagger up to his throat.

You looked straight at Malia, your eyebrows furrowed as you narrowed your eyes in on her.

"A father...for a father. A life, for a life."

You sliced his neck open before throwing him across the ship. His body fell into a ship that flew up nearby. The dehydration tank.

As much as you wished you did slice his neck open...you didn't. You cut deep enough to bleed but shallow enough not to hit a nerve.

"NO!" Malia cried out as she watched it all unfold in front of her. She turned to you, her eyes burning with rage but yours was burning just the same, maybe even harder.

"AH!" She rushed towards you with a punch but you quickly dodged her, spears in hands as you made a fist.

"YOU WANNA DANCE BITCH?! COME ON!" You shouted at her as you stood your ground. She stood in her fighting stance, across from you.

You both circled each other until she finally rushed up to you with a kick but you caught it with your hands, turning around and swiftly kicking her square in the tummy, sending her flying across the ship.

You watch as she sharply hit the edge, banging her head and her back hardly.

You stood up straight and paid attention to her body movement. She stood up slowly, eyes wide as she looked down to her legs.

Confused, your eyes followed hers before your eyes widened. Blood slowly dripped down her legs as she muttered out..

"My baby.."

"Fuck."

Although you didn't like her, you know how it feels to have a miscarriage and you felt an extreme wave of guilt knowing you caused it too.

You rushed over to her side as she fell to her knees, clutching her tummy. Her head lowered as you got on your knees, next to her.

"Oh my...shit..are you okay?" You panic, looking at her.

"No...but I will be."

Was all you heard again before your mouth opened, wide, blood trickling out. You looked down to see she had plunged a spear straight through your stomach...your own spear.

"Fuck...you.." was all you could mutter out till you saw Shuri and Namor on a flying ship...and then you blacked out.

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You woke up about 2 weeks later in the lab. Your eyes darted open as you looked up at everything. Shuri was at your side, holding your hand and as you immediately woke up, she grabbed you, hugging you tightly.

"Don't ever scare me like that, ever again.." She said, choking on her words.

You hugged her back but immediately felt guilt. You pull back from Shuri and look at her. "Malia is no longer pregnant.." You bite your lip as she stays silent before nodding.

"She was on the battlefield when she lost the baby...the cause is unknown but it's..tragic."

You knew that Shuri wants kids..or well at least she used to when you guys were together. She would often talk about raising her own family but that was years ago. It would explain why she wanted Malia to keep the baby so bad.

"Do you...have a lead on who did it?" You ask, your voice raising as Shuri shook her head.

"No..but when we find out who did it, I'll kill them."

You gulp. Okay, then.

"Sorry, it's just..I saw this child as a way to get the family I always wanted back..yknow?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry for your loss.." You looked down as Shuri sighed.

"It's not your fault."

But it was..

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You paced around the room, biting your nail frantically and impatiently. You were currently trying to add up the dates because today, as well as yesterday and the days before, you've been waking up terribly sick.

You just thought it was a side effect from almost dying so many times, blacking out and all, and also a side effect from dar but that wasn't it. It didn't add up..at all. So..you decided to take a pregnancy test. But not just one, multiple.

3 American ones and 4 Wakandan ones, just to be sure. Beeping filled the bathroom as you turned off the timer, looking at the pregnancy tests, your eyes wide.

Positive...positive...positive....positive...positive...positive...positive.

"FUCK." You sit down on the closed-lid toilet burying your face in your hands. It's been around 3 weeks since you and Shuri were intimate and you hadn't even realized when you missed your period because of the drama going on at the palace.

"Y/N! You in here?" Shuri entered your apartment as she walked around then into the bathroom, looking down at you, raising an eyebrow. "You okay?"

You look up to her, worry in your face as take a deep sigh.

"I'm pregnant."

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[dilatorywriting]

Question! regarding vil and perhaps, leona as a s/o, i'd like to ask if you have any angst thoughts abt them?? do you think vil would be controlling or leona being too 'i-dont-give-a-fuck' type of person? TRUTHFULLY, i feel like vil being too controlling would be because he wants to bring out the best in someone he loves which Yuu/Reader would understand while Leona is someone who is more 'subtle' or shows his affection or care thru words or actions.

ANOTHER QUESTION I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE OVERWHELMED but, if you ever continue your Heroes Vs. Villains stories.. would you make a Mufasa-like character to be the 'Hero' in the story? (i've been wondering for a while if you ever did think of one! cuz i assumed that Heartslabyul would be Alice, Scarabia = Aladdin, Ignihyde = Hercules)

LASTLY IN MONSTER MAYHEM, what 'monster' do you think Vil or Riddle would be? 👁👁

Oh my I have so many thoughts on these poor bois and they would have So Many Issues.

Which of their habits would be more 'angsty' I think would depend on the individual and their own preferences--because they basically sit at opposite ends of the same sliding scale (Vil caring objectively far too much, and Leona not enough. All based around the same fear of themselves not being worth it). Personally, Leona's apathy would sting far more for me than Vil's obsessiveness, but everyone vibes differently.

For Leona, I feel like he's so ingrained into the 'why try when I'll never get anywhere' mentality that it would cause a lot of issues. Because it's one thing already to not be putting effort into a relationship. It is another entirely to very openly and actively show that that's your intent. Like I know for me, I would absolutely break if I went to talk to someone about how I feel like they don't actually care, and they just scoffed and were like 'yeah no why would I? What makes you worth it?' Whether they mean it or not (and surely Leona wouldn't actually mean it. He's just lying to save his own sorry skin), feeling like you're not worth anything when you care so much in return is a genuinely miserable experience, and in my opinion, it's very very hard to come back from that unless said reciprocating person is super chill and understanding. For someone who had, say, already pre-existing self-worth issues, that would just be the end of it. So I think in turn to counteract that, Leona would need someone who was very sure in themselves. Not like egotistical, but someone with a very strong sense of self and independence that could handle that weaponized apathy of his. Because that is just a recipe for absolute disaster--a perpetual spiral of being ignored, feeling upset about being ignored, being ignored harder out of making a point that he really doesn't give a shit, and just ack. An absolute nightmare.

As for Vil, I see a lot of his inevitably controlling behavior being born of that same sort of 'I'm not good enough' fear Leona has, just... being terribly misdirected. Like, he would certainly push you in a good way! Doing his best to keep you healthy, and happy, and moving towards being the best you that you want to be. I just think with him one of the big things is that when you have so many of your own confidence issues, cruelty starts to feel like white noise. When your own head is constantly spewing all kinds of vitriol at yourself, you start to think it's normal. So I'm sure he'd accidentally casually say something absolutely bitingly mean. And maybe it'd only really hit when you were already having a bad day. But it would, and it would suck. And he would feel terrible about it. Which would unfortunately just feed into the rest of it. Because he has to be better, to make up for it. And that means taking his role as your guardian and self-proclaimed instructor up to the nth degree, because he has to be the best for you to also be the best. Which might only exacerbate the unpleasant comments or controlling behavior. The big difference with Vil I think though, or at least what makes the difference for me, is that I don't think there would ever be any doubt there that he does care. It's that he cares too much and too hard that's the problem. While Leona pushes away, Vil claws in as close as he possibly can. And depending on how you deal with that sort of codependence, it could definitely cause a lot of strife. If you're someone who isn't particularly independent or strongwilled, someone who likes being given direction and purpose (*cough* like I may or may not be *Cough*) then you're going to probably be able to handle that a lot better than someone who was already very strong in their own sense of self and where they stand in life.

But ahh!! Sorry for the absolute SLOG of a ramble. I just love both their Problematic Personalities SO MUCH, and Vil in particular is my favorite.

For the rest of the ask!

The thought with Leona for a Heroes vs Villains was to have it be a Him vs His Family sort of situation majoritively, with a surprise guest in the form of a Twist-ififed character I shant say. In case I do ever get around to writing it. (but I will go hint hint and say there's only so many villainous animal characters in disney movies. so like. do with that what you will. And also like, lions vs tigers--always a vibe 😉 anywho!)

For Monster Mayhem, I've decided Vil 100% is a siren. Have the outline for it ready to go and everything. Riddle I picture as a Sphynx sort of creature, with a massive penchant for trapping people with his strange, archaic, laws

[doomzday-zone]

how do you feel about the whole 'phantom ruby originated from The End' theory. i personally love it, the cyber corruption sonic gets is like a mild version of what infinite has to deal with every day & there's more voices fucking w him

OKAY tbh originally i didnt think id have too much to say on this(and i still might not lol but Im Thinking really hard abt it so it COUNTS !!!!!) n whatever cause i personally don't really give a shit abt sonic frontiers it just doesnt intrigue me as a Complete *thing*

HOWEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!

i just watched like over an hours worth of End related videos and????????? THIS SHITS CRAZYYYYYY its so insane how this fits in w my lore n shit 4 the phantom rubies personally (Sega upholding the tradition of stealing ideas directly from my brain<33 im just that good😏)

my actually genuine reaction when the celestial bodies n space rocks r sentient w power that rivals the chaos emeralds:

LIKEEEE. okay. okay. not to be infifi lorepilled on main r anything. *i explode💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥*

I THINK ITS A VERY FUN IDEA. idk how i feel abt the phantom rubies coming directly from The End but i can def see how they can be related to each other, esp knocking sonic out of his super form briefly COME ONNN literally phantom ruby reference?!?!!?. i rest my case💼. i still dont think i know enough about The End to give a full comparative analysis on The End and pts abilities n such but i can 100% see the correlation anf thinks its a VERY VERY fun idea even if i dont necessarily agree w them being one n the same... ill have to do more research n come back to this for sure.

ill end this w a silly thought of my own though(lmk if this has already been said lol... i dont keep up w all this lol): obv ive seen ppl compare the dialouge of The End and infinite..... AND. hear me out if we were to run w the phantom rubies and End being of similar origin and ignore every other supplementary material that expounds on infinite besides Sonic Forces there is a teeny tiny bit of room to consider infinite rock possession😳 like the way they speak in certain contexts is similar and like.... if we can consider the phantom rubies as vessels that serve as an extension of The Ends power perhaps....?😳😳😳

OBV ik this is a MASSIVE stretch and isnt fully backed by canon but. a silly theory to consider to regardless lol. if someone else has already come up w this idcccc its mine now. bajabnsbbd

[tallytals]

actually I need to know how that playlist is going for you just in general any thoughts

ok so i was listening to the playlist all day in school so i wasnt thinking too deep on the songs besides “wtf wtf this is SICK” but!!!!

im on a pearl by mitski and here’s some other songs that stood out to me

everyone by mitski. rori you are fucked up for putting this. botw zelda. shaking sobbing on my knees jumping out a WINDOW. SHE HELD BACK THE CALAMITY FOR A CENTURY WHAT IF I DUCKINF LOST IT. “but it didnt want me yet” THE GODDESS. IM DEAD

i want you by mitski.

im ignoring garden song bc you already know how insane it makes me an i cant hit the image limit yet

FROM EDEN BY HOZIER OH MY GOODDDDD i will never shut up abt pre-botw link and zelda they’re so fun (awful terrible im going to cry) to think abt

wasteland baby by hozier. botw zelda is playing this as she pulls up at the castle me thinks

sunlight by hozier (NOTE: there is so much in like all these songs that drive me crazy but im just pulling my fav lines) OUGGGGGG. i could say so much.

i bet on losing dogs by mitski. you didnt have to do this

we’ll never have sex by leith ross. shaky thumbs up

like real people do by hozier MY GOOODDDDD THIS LINE THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. CRAZY. hateno house 💥🔫

about you by the 1975 THIS ENTIRE SONG MESSED ME UP. SHE DIDNT THINK HE WOULD REMEMBER HER BUT HE DID AND I JUST KNOW HE COULDNT WAIT TO TELL HER I JUST OUGOUGHHHHHH AND ME PERSONALLY. i love the hc where the sheika slate can replay the memories like holograms in game so. that hurts me.

seven by taylor swift. SERIOUSLY WHATT. “passed down like folk songs the love lasts so long” HELP ME.

kiss goodnight by idk how but they found me. genuinely dont ever send me links again

shrike by hozier. ough. “i was housed by your warmth thus transformed” “remember me love when i am reborn” ok. totk. i jump in a lake

carefully steps over forth of july like its a landmine

line without a hook by ricky montgomery. I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS GUY. pre botw they were both so messy im gonna die i cant DO THIS

cosmic love by florence + the machine. im literally so sorry jjk fucking stole this song you im SORRY. thinking abt fake zelda so hard i might fuck around and write something

punisher by phoebe bridgers. i just think its crazy how everyone know them through each other. im soooooo normal abt this

gold rush by taylor swift. I ACTUALLY DIDNT GET THIS SONF UNTIL THE END??? i seriously cannot think of anything but fake zelda here. i really might just write the fic. like. he followed her ALL OVER THE KINGDOM AND IT WASNT FUCKING HERE. “so inviting i almost jump in” WHAATTTTTTTTT. “cause it will never be gleaming twinkling eyes like sinking ships on the water” WHAATTTTTTTTTT (PLEASE YELL AT ME ABT THE SONGS TOO)

i guess by mitski. ngl. jjk also got this one. apologies. im in the trenches. BUT. how often to you think they’ve sat somewhere thinking about the second chances they’ve both offered each other. casually slides this to notes app

francis forever by mitski. need i say more. once again i think its fucking insane how tied to each other they are like. oh my god. don’t think abt them in hateno don’t think hateno

first love late spring by mitski. ough

iris by the goo goo dolls. THIS RUINS ME

a pearl by mitski RORI WHEN I CATCH YOU

[broodsys]

venting abt creative woes feel free to ignore <3

it has been really hard for me to post art, both drawing and writing. it's not just about engagement/lack thereof or abt concrit or about anything in particular. i just get so caught up in comparisons and breaking things down and wanting to be objectively "better" at it and idk if i'm even enjoying it anymore.

sometimes i think seriously about stopping? i'd still create but. just for me. idk.

and im having mixed feelings about fandom in general. idk. it's late at night and it's been dark for too many hours and ik that's putting me in A Mood(tm) but it's still been! hard! and i get sad and frustrated and self-conscious all the time

it just feels like im out here putting my ugly shit next to everyone's polished pretty pieces. and ik, ik, two cakes, i've been trying to internalize that, but it's hard right now. i cannot stop thinking about the pretty fics ive read and i cannot stop being so fucking envious of them and it feels gross! like i should just appreciate them? they're lovely, mine doesn't have to and shouldn't be a replica, etc etc, all these things i know intellectually, but... ugh.

and it's extra frustrating bc i know ppl like my stuff, esp my writing. they do! they've said it! ppl who have no cause to lie to me, strangers, etc. but i just can't feel it and im so... envy demon has a fucking hold of me lmao.

might be circling back to the going too fast/pushing myself too hard thing again. but i've just been dealing with the constant undercurrent of severe frustration with everything i attempt. i try to shake it off but idk, if it's this consistent...?

ugh. idk. i've been going back and forth on this for a while. do i push through? do i try to drop my standards? do i just keep all my stuff to myself? unknown.

like, no matter what im finishing my bigfic. for me. but idk. should i even bother posting it? it's not... it's not about engagement. it's about the fact that i feel like the whole thing is just kinda... an embarrassment? like i cannot stop looking at it thru the most critical, least compassionate version of a potential audience and it's fucking with me so bad. when im writing i enjoy it, i think it's cool, i think it's good. but then i post it and after a while im just so embarrassed. i still think it's good! but it's still also embarrassing! i've worked hard for years to learn to trust my audience, to not spoon-feed them every bit of information and then follow it up with a quick confirmation just to make sure they're getting it, but now i feel like i'm being drawn back into that.

i read it. i've reread it a few times, in fact, for pleasure and not for editing. i love it? but im also so embarrassed by it whenever im not like... actively reading it. it's just disheartening.

idk. it's my personal baggage more than anything ig.

anyway im genuinely not asking for my ego to be stroked here or w/e, just- this has been weighing kinda heavily on me for quite a while. it's very frustrating.

[daz4i]

a vent-y ramble with mentions of suicidal stuff and general blegh

ppl in my life keep telling me i'm underselling my abilities when it comes to functioning and such and that i can do more than i say/think and. idk. maybe they're right? but it doesn't change the fact that everything FEELS impossible to do. even if i technically can and even if i don't feel like death afterwards, the whole starting to do the thing is the hard part. and like it's probably due to me not wanting to do any of it. it sounds silly and childish and i dunno maybe it is, but the fact is, if i don't wanna do something, my brain will do everything it can to make sure i avoid it, no matter how mundane. it used to be worse when i was a teen but now i have more foresight so like i still force myself to do things i find highly unpleasant (like brushing my teeth or going to doctor's appointments or. fuck. wearing a bra??) and while they don't feel like the end of the world once they pass (...usually), it still feels like it's taking all of my energy to start them. and ik abt executive dysfunction ik i have it but it's more than that, it's not about having to hype myself up to do something, it's the explicit purpose of avoiding it.

and i think. it's tied to my suicidal tendencies. like, my immediate thought is always "i would rather die than do this" bc that's literally true about literally everything, but it pops up more forcefully and loudly when i really really don't want to do the thing. AND ofc depression is the cause for my lack of energy

it's also like. sensory issues make so many things straight up painful. and the brain's most basic instinct is avoiding pain. so i dunno maybe it's just the instinct. so basically, these people are not wrong, i technically CAN do all these things, just like i technically CAN touch a hot stove or shove a knife in my head as long as i don't think about it too hard and force myself to ignore it and take enough medication to calm down beforehand and have someone there to support me through it. like i don't think they realize this is on the same level for me bc it just does not process in their head that these mundane actions you need to do in order to live are this painful for me. and they never will get it!!!!! or even if they do they'll say "true, it sucks, but you need to do it anyway, that's life" like omg yes i know that's why i wanna die 😭😭😭😭😭😭 come on we've gone over this so many times

that's why i keep spiraling and that's why it feels impossible. most of my energy goes into forcing myself to start actions or even just preparing myself mentally for them, more than actually doing the actions themselves. and because i don't care about anything, i have no way to recharge the way others might be able to, so i'm running at 0% at all times

anyway that was a very long way to just whinily say "but i don't wannaaaaaa 🥺"

[kudzucataclysm]

i'm very new here, would it be okay to ask of you to infodump about "dez"? they seem very blorbo material and i'm curious :3 (if not i'll totes understand if you wanna keep things hush-hush due to spoilers lol)

OFC ILL INFODUMP ABT DEZ DEAR ANON HE'S MY BOY

his names Desmond O. Arkady and he’s the main protag of SE and is…tbh the only normal person out of the entire cast. he’s just a normal superpower-less kid who gets involved in world altering events on accident becuz everyone else is mean to him and likes using him cuz he craves validation and can’t say no :( unfortunately for all the ppl who like pushing him around, he’s got extremely serious, repressed anger issues (due to his dad's emotional/verbal abuse and his mom abandoning the family) and is eventually pushed beyond his breaking point which at some point involves making a nuclear bomb so. good work guys-

he’s also super fucking smart and loves everything to do with science even tho he isn’t too good at math. he excels at biology and chemistry and likes to take home dead animals to cut open and look at. he also practices necromancy- he’s a distinguished little victor frankenstein just. one who doesn’t steal dead bodies v-v he particularly likes reviving dead cats (one of which becomes a supporting character at a later point) but other than natural sciences he's pretty adept at taking things apart and putting them back together. he can look at a radio and know exactly how it works and what the components are that make it function. he also loves fun facts and will randomly drop them on people, especially morbid ones that he finds 'funny and interesting' but isnt to others :( so while he's pretty intelligent he doesnt do well socially which resulted in him being bullied VERY badly when he was younger but he tries to take everything in stride....even tho he almost drowned once becuz of it and one other time almost beat someone unconscious during one of his 'rage blackouts' (he definitely fucking cried for like 3 days straight after that even tho he doesnt rmm)

while relatively normal he’s related to like, arguably the most powerful person in the world which is something he’s super unaware of. he’s the heir to a shit ton of scientific endeavors and intended future owner of ALL ANDROIDS. but again he’s unaware of this so when “certain things” tend to happen to him or around him he just tends to brush it off and doesn’t think it concerns him. the person who he’s related to, Lupe, is struggling to get into contact with him cuz 10 years ago she astral projected so hard she caused her subconscious (i’m not explaining) to time travel so. she’s just been in a coma for a long while annnnd she very much might never wake up again so OH WELL looks like her TRILLION DOLLAR FORTUNE is just in fucking limbo for now >:/

hmm what else..very much a people pleaser, he's got this really weird inclination to freak the fuck out if he thinks people don't like him- he also ignores a lot of his feelings?? like if he feels anything intense other than happiness he's prone to crying fits and throwing up which his bodyguard francis thinks is INSANE and STUPID. despite ppl treating him like shit he's genuinely a very hopeful person and loves the world and everything that takes up space in it. like he tries to and does see the good in everything and while the events of the story kinda wear down on him he ultimately doesn't think humanity or Martiankind deserves pain and/or suffering; he persistently keeps a strong sense of justice/morality and thinks that anyone or anything is ultimately capable of good.

hrrrrm thats all i can seem to say off the top of my head for now...anyway yeah he's literally the best :3 like out of the entire cast of SE he's definitely the guy the root for imo v-v

waaaa but tysm for the q

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

This is a little out of the blue, but I'm curious if you have any headcanons about Ingo and Emmet's general state of health when he returns to Unova. I've started reading pla fics again and reunions tend to vary wildly, including if Ingo and/or Emmet have any health issues or not. Being kind of a fandom hermit, you tend to stray from the norm (in a good way! I find it very refreshing and insightful), so I thought it'd be interesting to see if you've ever given it some thought.

ACTUALLY IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THE SPECIFIC SCENARIO hskhssh but yes i have. given it Thought

i think in general ingo's sort of let his standard of self care slip in hisui bc he just... doesn't. care i mean. he's not really consistent about things like sleeping and eating, out of a combination of like... brain static and indifference. like half the time the feeling of "wow i am exhausted and my arms hurt from climbing" doesn't even make it to consciousness, and then half the remaining time he doesn't care enough to act on it. i think there's also a sort of disconnect/reluctance around meals specifically which i've like. vaguely nodded at in one or two things i think? but he has a hard time like, Sitting Down For A Meal, bc he always feels like he should be waiting for something. someone? whatever it is, it's like a kind of exec dysfunction-adjacent fuzz that makes it hard for him to like, commit to eating, so half the time the food will be cold and unappetizing by the time he manages to will himself through whateverthehell that block is anyway.

also if you like, having a human body, and radically switch up the level and type of your physical activity without any real lead-in or instruction, that's uh, not safe generally. so i feel like there are probably some stress injuries hanging around that he's just been ignoring bc sadly hisui doesn't really. do physical therapists. so i guess the tl;dr is his state is generally Bad but in sort of a lowkey way. this is not mentioning the brain stuff bc that's Definitely there but it's not really related to like, physical health

meanwhile if we are talking abt an emmet who has been in unova aware that his brother is just Gone the entire time (as opposed to one who was like, also caught in the distortion, or anything) i think he's physically fine but he's just been like. a robot. he takes fine care of himself and doesn't overwork himself to a point that anyone can call him out on, bc those things would make other people complain and be a pain in the ass and he's trying Not to make any more work for himself, but it's all like, entirely mechanical. there is zero life behind his eyes. there might be some like stress based health issues but i think he's been trying to actively counter them, under the assumption of like, he's continuing to believe that Eventually ingo will come back. and if when he does come back emmet's a wreck and gear station's in total disarray well that'll just be a whole thing on top of whatever circumstances surround his return. can't have that. gotta keep everything neat and orderly. including himself.

though semi relatedly but on the topic of like, injuries, i think if he got into a situation that was actually life threatening or whatever he would not. give a shit. he's already maxed out on things to worry about just by like existing day to day, go ahead and shoot him, that's fine, c'est la vie or whatever they say in kalos. it's actually a similar problem to ingo's general indifference but caused by almost the opposite underlying thing (Too Much going on internally instead of too little). not that i think he's routinely getting into life-threatening scenarios but like, it IS pokemon, evil teams grow like weeds over there, so who knows really. that could be a fun postcanon to explore actually, if ingo gets back memories included but in the meantime emmet's gone and decided to fight [insert bad guy here] bc they were Being A Problem so he decided to fix it and did not have the bandwidth to be impressed by any threats they threw at him. gce but in reverse kinda

this is getting long i hope any of this makes sense it's. late. i guess the last thing i would leave off on, which is kind of another tangent, is i think the one thing both of them DO have going, in terms of self maintenance, is that they both have teams! very well trained and closely bonded ones! who simply Will Not Let Them get that bad. they all Care obviously but i think chandelure and kadabra/alakazam specifically are like, trained emotional support pokemon, if maybe not like, technically service ones. but they've got like, psychic as a pressure source and to pick things up, hypnosis as a bandaid for insomnia, etc etc and also they're among the smartest of the teams in terms of human intelligence. chandelure has a very close bond with both of them and they've worked out a system over decades so it's perfectly suited to emmet. meanwhile kadabra has simply self adopted the role kind of begrudgingly after ingo gave it a vague half-remembered instruction in the concept cause otherwise its trainer will like, starve or something, which would be Annoying, cause it likes this setup. it gets soup. it will do whatever is necessary to ensure regular soup opportunities in its future.

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[captainaikus]

I AM BACK!!!!!!! And idk if you saw the post I tagged you in explaining and apologizing tumblrs being wonky again because I didn’t see that bachisagi post you tagged me in on your main until I was scrolling through and catching up just now. I have been swamped with juggling school staring again, family, and that friend stuff I told you abt. And the only free time I’ve had is watching TR. I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE LATEST BLLK EPISODE YET AND I WANNA SOB BECAUSE ITS THE POST-BACHISAGI BREAKUP EP 😭😭😭. I’ve just had no energy at the end of the day and every time I think I finally have time to respond back to you something always comes up and I wanna tear my hair out. I PROMISE I HAVENT BEEN IGNORING YOU LOVE. But I understand if you’re upset at me and I’m sorry Belle.

I was furious like my blood was boiling when I saw your fic got flagged down. Like what is wrong with people??? Can you not just let other people be and keep your negativity to yourself??? Just because you’re falling doesn’t mean you have to drag others with you asshole. Seriously. You did not deserve that and being so angry and upset over it (with it happening AGAIN and it not even being the FIRST time unwarranted) is completely understandable, I’d be pissed too. I still am actually. It’s so frustrating working so hard on something and then getting pointless hate for it like get a life and stay away from me. 😤😤😒

On another note, I have been getting SO MUCH Tokyo Revengers content the past few days and that has been my only relief from this hectic week. Im being fed so well girl. New episodes every Saturday with my favorite arc being animated, the new character book, new official arts, AND SO MUCH MORE AFJHFFHJGHINH. Also I’m so sorry I missed your event 😭😭😭. You even extended it and I had so many asks saved too 🥲🥲. But I didn’t wanna just demand stuff without explaining where I’d been because I’m not an ass like that but every time I started drafting something for you (not for the event) I’d get interrupted 😒😒. *sighs heavily*

IVE BEEN READING YOUR EVENT ASKS CAUSE I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS AND ASDFJJGFFHHGFKJ THEYRE ALL SO GOOD BELLE 😭😭. I love them all so freaking much (esp the Bachira ones 👀😌✨) and I’m sad I couldn’t participate but hopefully next time. BUT DONT WORRY IM ALREADY DRAFTING AN ASK FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT THERES NO WAY IM MISSING THAT 😤😤.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.9K BELLE IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU LOVE!!!!! 🥹😭❤️ Your numbers keep climbing so fast and it’ll only be a matter of time before you hit 2k 😌😌. Also I’m so glad you’re getting support from new people too and how they’re all loving your works it’s so heartwarming to see and read and really a testament to how far you r come. Be proud of yourself because no matter how much hate you get you’re still continuing to do amazing love ❤️❤️❤️.

I really am sorry for going MIA for a bit there and I understand if you’re upset with me. How’ve you been irl btw?? Uni going well I hope? How’s gym? Has your break ended yet? Go on and vent if you need to love!! Update me on your life because I truly do want to know how’re you’re doing yknow?? Remember to take breaks and take care of yourself love!!! Eat something and drink a glass of water if you haven’t today!!! *sending all the virtual hugs because I missed you and I’m sorry*

p.s. no asks on the way soon 👀🫡

- ✨ anon

Starry!! Ofc I’m not upset with you! You’re usually very active on my blog, so I figured something must’ve come up cause you were away. I wanted to drop in your askbox; but I could find it so I decided to tag you in my posts instead to see if you’re doing alright and you’re doing well so I’m relieved <3

Tumblr has been acting wonky :/ - literally. I had to write to staff about my posts not showing up in the tags and all they did was delete it?

I figured since it was taking so long, I might as well just shift to ao3 and my work has been good so far - working on a yandere rin wip and I’m about 2k words in but since Uni and work keeps getting in the way, i can’t finish it as fast. But. Ik for the fact that this’ll be worth the wait cause. You’ll see 😏

As for my works getting flagged down, it is an inconvenience, but with every work that does get flagged down - people on the other side of the screen are just proving the fact that they can’t keep up with my writing or the fact that my content is well received and I get mostly healthy interactions. I was pretty angry with it, but then I just decided to take it to ao3 instead and I had been thinking about this for months. I take that this was a sign that I should do it and not leave it as a plan cause tumblr has turned toxic over a period of time, among authors and readers alike. So why not minimize the trouble for everyone go somewhere better? Ao3 had really good content;

More plot leaning and good story lines with occasional smut, and both sides are really chilled out. Plus another thing that disappoints me about tumblr is that smut sells really fast here and even Twitter links get more likes than actual writing. And after thinking over it for a while - I realized that my writings are more to do with things human along with lust than just purely writing about lust yk? So in short, my work isn’t meant for tumblr. And I’m not a very interactive author either - I don’t reblog much works and neither do I have any author I can personally recommend cause I stopped reading fanfics here about 2 years ago and I don’t even check the tags anymore since then, only to see if my work showed up or not. but anyway- i made my moveout official still gonna answer asks and host events here tho - and talk to anyone about stuff in general

now talking about tokyo rev, super happy about the new season coming out and honestly? this is the fastest i've seen them make it cause JJBA fans- ykw i'm talking about. Had to wait so long just for stone ocean part 2 to come out And i'm really looking forward to watching vinland saga (cause that's out and istg - canute is such a pretty boy, this is that one anime that made me cry cause Askeladd. nvm I don't wanna give spoilers) AND YES! you did make it to the matchup event !! (i got your ask) as for the character ask i had fun with it as well - Some of the highlight questions I liked; one of them was a question for Rin, asking if (y/n) was single? and istg the way i laughed cause the way he would have a look on his face after that, Bachira is a ray of sunshine to have - such a cutie (>///<) [take your time on working starry! There’s not rush! Ik how annoying it is to get interrupted when you’re writing something] And tysm for your kind words !! Seriously though I should be thanking you guys for giving me your support esp you starry - cause you were one of the first anons along with blue to actually make a convo on my blog and it kinda made other people wanna talk as well (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) And no! I'm not upset with you! I knew something was maybe up cause you're never usually gone this long - And you can come to my blog anytime you want - to rant, ask for advice or just talk anything 'kay? ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა As for uni, its on full throttle - *sigh* so much work to do but I'm working on it a little everyday and getting things done as soon as possible. but the cold is making me so drowsy to function. I cut my hair shorter too, its an undercut with a pixie so now i look like a fem ver of corpse - And i re-watched some of my old animes - like i had the urge to watch devilman crybaby this week and i did. the only reason i watched that anime was cause of the clip i saw of Akira's... on the ceiling... (ikyk), rewatched death note - cause i wanted to see L and honestly L is THE emo king. (yeah i had a whole emo phase before turning into a dark academia/ classic aesthetic gal -) and alot of people are getting into tokyo ghoul - *finished the whole manga collection at the age of 14* As for gym... story time. I was busy lifting weights and this man. he is muscular sure, got bulging biceps and a lean body and yet. he had the audacity to chase me out of my corner in the gym and take it instead to lift his weights. He looked at me dead in the eye and gave me the meanest look possible. I couldn't take him seriously cause... he was shorter than me... *not size shaming i swear but when you look at me like that - i can't take you seriously* Me : I do not care if you're more macho than me, I will throw you across the gym, you tiny tiny man. And I just finished another whole bottle of water - hope you’re doing well starry! *sending hugs back*

[grimescum]

baa

at first i never understood why people were like "reblog if u save/use" "reblog if u like" at first but now i get it a little too much

inknow ive been complaining abt this a lot. as of really recent (like. yesterday recent) ive been trying to change how i think about my content, saying that i should be doing it for myself instead of for others, but even so.. damn does it kind of hurt to get such little interaction

i get it for doodles and stuff, i dont mind when it comes to them, but for stuff i actually put effort into... it kinda comes off as my stuff being so shit and uninteresting that people don't even bother to like, let alone reblog it so that other people can see

i know that's not true. i have friends who tell me otherwise. ive gotten really nice tags. ive spoken to people who were genuinely interested in my ocs, character designs, anything else i do on the side. even if i was hypothetically the worst artist in the world i know that i should prioritize how i feel over how other people feel

it's definitely my bpd and my constant need for validation causing me to feel this way. i also think the general landscape of tumblr (people choosing not to reblog creative works), being raised on the internet and not having much interaction outside of it plays a big part

i don't like to sound like im begging for attention on my posts when i ask people to reblog. it makes me feel like shit, actually. especially considering that it largely doesn't work; people just straight up ignore it. again, i know it's just my imagination but its hard to think that its not being done purposely out of malicious intent

i dunno. usually when i start feeling this way i step away from tumblr for some time to let my anxiety cool down. i should soon considering that I've been actively getting mad at others internally for not interacting the way i want them to. its just really frustrating and disheartening to me atm

on a lighter note, i think ive already been doing really well at drawing for fun rather than to impress people!! i was very very happy with how the last drawing i made turned out, and i also think ive done really well when it comes to not stressing about my art style as much. im pretty confident that i'll be able to draw without worrying so much about the reception that it gets soon.

in the mean time i think i might visit amino again to see if the editing community is any livelier on there. seeing how it is here on tumblr i kinda doubt but at least i dont have to worry about reblogs there. iirc people also comment more on there as well