#today im really gonna do it. promise
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i keep being like ugh i have so much work to do for my final for my online class i hate it. and then not doing any work
#i hate my online class im so glad its almost overrrr#the topic is fine but oh god the format#today im really gonna do it. promise#its due. uh. wednesday. and im not even remotely close to done
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#fe fates#camilla#so i actually drew this a while ago but was gonna shade it and do more emoji things#but welp uh hmmmm im sick and apparently look like I'm dying#which isnt a problem until i sit down to draw and my vision is blurry and yeah thats a problem#so i just attempted to do a doodle and then failed and opted to apply a tiny but of shading to this and give up#but yup uh after a nice of body aches and misery and trying to sleep and failing#i crashed from 10am to 5pm thinking id just rest a lil bit#before anyone says oh you could have taken a day off you know - i technically can yes youre right#however my brain uses art as a coping mech and i need that coping mech really bad right now#which is why i stopped trying to draw something new for today and just went back to a past thing#im not overdoing it i promise#even if my mom and sister think i look like death walking around
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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With baby bat Jason au
Cass/Steph?
Of course they're the only two with a happy marriage life they do have other issues tho that are making their lives hell they get 1 nice thing and that's it
#ask#anon#you can really tell im a child of divorce#but yeah still trying to work out whats going on with steph and cass#kinda had the idea to do something with the baby steph gave up#but eh not too sure#i think cass is gonna be struggling with some of the batman responsibilities#still like before if anyone has any ideas for the bats please feel free to share#some people have sent me asks about what dick could be doing#which i will answer promise#im just a wee bit hung over today so struggling myself today
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who up traveling they octopath
[ID: 2 images. the first is a whisper post of a cowboy sitting sadly with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in one of his hands. the caption is "is it really possible for a emo girl and a country boy to be in a relationship?" the second is a traditionally sketched redraw of alfyn from octopath traveler in the same pose. the text has been cut out from the original photo and overlaid. end ID.]
#was going to post this tomorrow but i got one like on the 'do you promise to fuck with my mid meme art' post preceding it. so here it is now#id added#octopath#octopath traveler#once again sorry for maintag crimes but none of my followers played this game 👍👍#lmao do i tag alfion. thats what i had in mind if you dont see my vision#also directors commentary. why is his outfit so complicated you didnt need to do all that bro#look up fully rendered art of everyone. think about how YOU would draw his knee high boots#seriously what the hell is going on w those#i went on a 24 hour sidequest to figure out how to draw his hair and now i have a crush on him. love and light#i have redraws of other peoples art that look really good but obviously im not gonna post those yk#alfyn hair drawing sidequest also coincided w my 5.5 hour shift today so you KNOW i was rotating him in my mind#i was 3ish hours in and suffering bc i didnt bring lunch#straight up i was like i know im tired. but what would alfyn say if i didnt smile at these kids in the pool#so i did#this isnt even about the fucking art anymore bro
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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whaddafuq who let the links connect to actual google chrome who is the idiot that updated tumblr for that <- procrastinator.
#💜.talks#I AM NOT DEAD. I MADE THIS SO YALL KNOW I AM NOT DEAD#I STILL HAVE PLANS ABT DOING STUFF BUT IM JUST. REALLY GOING THROUGH IT RN#no not mentally its about my show omfg im gonna make a whole post abt that drama#mentally besides that shitshow we're doing great !!!#yeah i promise im not abandoning yall i just need some time bc. yeah.#my homies know. they know. its hell right now.#BUT BY APRIL 21 OR 22 IM GONNA BE FREEEEEEE i should start working on the smau#if i am good enough i can crank out chapters like i used to#BUT YEAH THIS IS YOUR FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT I AM NOT DEAD#i am just chilling (almost started sobbing today bc of this stupid production)#best part is i CAN tell yall
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https://twitter.com/GameIdentityV/status/1676742756910129152
The anniversary piece is out! I keep typing and deleting things I want to say (it’s been 3 hours 🧍♀️), but from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for the love and support throughout the years, especially in drawing for IDV. I don’t think this would have been possible without it.
#told myself im gonna be open and talk and air out what i want to say today and by god im going to try#even if its only on tumblr OTL#to the person that put the 'i used to pray for times like these' image to bane and burke appearing i love u#reactions that are gonna rotate in my brain for the next 3 months#there's handles i rmbr that have been here for a while or have left a kind impression in some way#and its smthing ive been mulling over since anon brought up my old req art; thank u so much for cherishing my art#even if theres times where its difficult and i have trouble enjoying what i do#that theres people who can look at it without all the complicated feelings and enjoy it as is#it makes me really happy to think about#so again and again thank u#ok metronome no longer on oversharing mode i will proceed to clam up by tmmrw promise
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This might not be anything, but while writing about your fics, the way you have the characters' mannerisms down PERFECTLY got me thinking about mirroring...
There's a lot of it in 7 (Horii is a directorial genius etc etc), most of it more intentional than these probably are, but there's something so interesting about mirroring that takes the tone of a (relatively) fond memory, a familiar gesture, and inverts it in the way shown here.
OH I'M GLAD YOU'VE NOTICED THESE TOO I think I mentioned it months back (or I drafted a post 'bout it but didn't think it was anything noteworthy) but I always really did like how the Arakawa Family mimicked each other's mannerisms (also circling back to how Jo and Masato calling Ichiban 'Ichi' presumably after picking it up from Arakawa)!
Aoki actually does the same sitting gesture too! I went back to double check and skim through the rest of the game's cutscenes, and as far as I could tell unless I skipped a scene, it really is only these three that do this specific pose:
It's such a small detail but I love it immensely and it really does highlight their connections with each other and it drives me insane
#snap chats#the fact aoki holds his left fist with his right like jo..... im gonna be sick... (crying)#potential hints that aoki really does favor jo and/or spends more time with him... or i might be delirious. could be both even..#focusing on how jo mimics arakawa though i dont think i have to say i love how it is inverted intention wise#like of course in arakawa's situations he's in a position where he's helping ichi and speaking calmly with him#while with jo Evidently each interaction is more tense and antagonistic#really is a cool way to emphasize that whole 'step parent' angle if that makes sense#OH BUT THANK YOU ON MY WRITING that's a huge compliment: i'm glad you think i have their mannerisms down !#accuracy is a big thing to me... in case we haven't picked that up yet.... i should relax a little tbh--#BUT i'd like to think my brain's good at visualizing things and i think i've 'studied' enough to get an acceptable result in what i show#it's like... if i can't see it in my head clearly or it doesn't look right then i wanna keep trying until it DOES look right yk#dont want a Hello Kitty Wouldnt Do Xanax moment... only on occasion.... a lil xanax wouldnt hurt as long as its not too far gone ☠️#alright im. DELIRIOUS.#to end this off i watched the first episode of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun !#my japanese is. HORRENDOUS BUT the art of inference and context clues and stray knowledge got me through it#i'm excited to watch the next episode even if i'm only really getting half the impact from the dialogue#BUT THE FEELING'S THERE... the emotion's there#embarrassingly i almost cried when izumi was crying in the theater over her dad while she was eating cause like Girl Me Too ☠️☠️#ill go one day without mentioning my dad i promise... todays not that day tho ☠️#IN ANY CASE. thank you for droppin the episodes on me !! i can't stress never tiring of having new things to watch#ill watch the next episode tonight probably. i was gonna go out to get lunch buuuut my moms home#so there goes that plan.. at least my bro got me food while /he/ went out today lmao
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Sasaki’s English voice actor is going to be at a con relatively near me and it is at times like these I hate being so materialistic. I want a stupid little autograph so bad. And all it’s gonna do is sit on my stupid little shelf. But I WANT IT… hatred and rage
#really hoping he’ll also be doing a panel/q&a#that schedule hasn’t been released though#but if he does that’ll really make the trip worth it#but anyways. I hate liking to own so many little objects#it’s also EMBARASSING#everybodies gonna think I’m a fujoshi#sigh. whatever#Mr. Kellen Goff voice actor of sasaki i promise im normal about them#well. actually I’m just weird about them in different ways#but WHATEVER! it’ll make me happy#sunnfish.jrnl#to the void#one day I’ll get rid of worldly desire. today is not it though
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🎀 🎀 🎀
#hi cuties! just doing a quick little check-in since it's been a minute ✨#still not really checking tumblr cause there's just too much going on and i'm trying to find some joy here getting settled in a new home!#i do check here and there though so if you wanna hit up the IMs i'll for sure get back to you!! 💕#ANYWHO: things are going okay! kinda same old but just trying to enjoy what i can and take a day at a time#started talking to a recruiter today and she was so sweet (and my age which is a bonus) so i'm hoping she'll be a good help ...#... in the old job search (while i keep looking on my own as usual of course) but still! having someone who's JOB it is to search for me??#feels promising??? i hope!#(even tho in all honesty this job search stuff has been peak deflating and depressing but! we keep movin!)#i'm also super excited that my mom is treating me for xmas/my bday to a trip to london to visit my best friend#(since they weren't actually able to come visit for the holidays sadly) but i think it's gonna be special and healing 😌💕#i think that covers most of the things!! pretty pleeeease come hit me up on discord!!#i would love to chat and write more there and have servers and all that fun stuff so don't be shy!#love and miss you all so much *big hugs to the dash*#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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Most recent episode of Outlander I watched was low key so funny at the end
Fuckin Marseli was like "listen, so... doctors take an oath to do no harm. Good thing I'm not actually a doctor" and killed that bitch. Jamie walks in to her freaking out because she killed someone and just goes "damn that sucks. But shit happens."
#Obviously this is paraphrased but this was the vibe#What she actually said was a bit more badass to me#Something along the lines of 'mistress Claire took an oath to do no harm. I've taken no such oath' or smth like that#I love her she's perfect#outlander#Damn last time I posted about outlander I was talking about Marseli constantly calling Claire a whore. And now look at them#No because Marseli's reaction to Brianna saying she was gonna leave. 'Youve become like a sister to me' IM OKAY I PROMISE#my posts#Also unrelated but the fact that Fergus' kid calls Claire Grandma when Fergus still doesn't call Claire his mother. Like he sees her that#way obviously but please I need him to call her his mother#Fergus and Marseli's kids have only one grandfather not because one of the parents has a dead father but because they share#an adoptive father. Which is.... Yikes.#Jamie is her step father and his adoptive father#One of the little French fraser kids: oh yeah red Jamie fraser is my grandfather#Someone else: really? Is he your mum or dad's dad?#One of the little French fraser kids: Yes. Unfortunately .#Also! Brianna finding out she has a little brother killed me. Because she'll never get to know him as her brother!#Because he'll never even know that she is his sister.#Jamie and Williams interactions kill me every time though I NEED him to find out he's Jamie's son#Anyway there's your outlander post for today
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The drive for chapter 12 has not abated
As soon as I am able I'm gonna be finishing that shit TODAY. So long as nothing truly catastrophic happens, then I should be able to post tonight
#speculation nation#itnl shit#not promising anything bc ive had some shit ass luck today#but. it Should happen. i want it to.#i have like 17 comments to reply to too on the last chapter hfkshfhshxkdbxkdb#which im gonna do Before i post the next chapter#it's honestly Wild how many comments ive been getting. the comment to kudos ratio is INSANE#might not be widely known yet but those that do know it Love it#anyways im pretty damn proud of what ive got going for chapter 12.#it's the first one where i feel like ive really gotten to display my writing skills. aside from chapter 1 I Guess#but even then chapter 1 was mostly experimental. you know what's Actually harder? writing Action.#coming up with action beats that are actually fun and exciting and then following through with prose#and word choice and sentence structure matters Even More than usual. bc those can directly affect the motion of the words themselves#thus affecting the perception of the actions being described#shit like that! it takes some practice and skill to do that & make it interesting#and i cant say im perfect at it. but im still pretty proud of what ive gotten done#and i am VERY excited to show it to u guys heheh
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Actually starting to learn how to make friends, and getting a social life. It's craaaazy!
#so many plans#took my coworker and friend out dancing last night#my coworker and i are doing dinner and drinks next week#I'm hosting a little get together for friends at my place since i promised a house warming party...a year and a half ago#me and my friend are going to a music festival in october#we're going out to dinner with a group of people in october as well#my new coworker said she wants to cook for me and my friend so we're gonna go there too#we have plans of having drinks and a game night together#me and my friend are eating at a specific restaurant soon#and we both want to eat at a really good restaurant in town so i hope we can do that together#im hanging out with my sister today and again next week and we've got lots of plans upcoming#im hanging out with my friend soon for movie and dinner#ive got plans for a movie night with four girls i just met and a game night with some other girls#personal#so much plans
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Okay yes I understand this is not a Mechs blog so I will refrain from talking about them much more just to keep things on brand <3 if you guys thought I was autistic about fnaf (enough to make this competiton) then you have not SEEN me at my Autistic About The Bifrost Incident levels of 😭❤️😳🥺
But! That is a topic for another day <3 I have learned these polls will have the best and coolest audience ever and that is more than i could have asked for when making a special little joke meant only for me 🥺
#taking sketchbook requests for the mechs on my art blog hershelchocolateart if anyone is interested#in that side of the stuff i do#aside from that im gonna chill with that here i promise#i know its not what you guys came here for and thats totally valid!#today was just a funny little treat for me c:#and a nice one too after getting the brackets decided ended up being really frustrating akdhfDKFGSKG#but yes this is my final message for real for real this time i prommy#back to crying about the marionette for me here folks o7#not a poll
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.
#my mental health has been in the pit today#ive cried periodically ever since I woke up until two hours before bed#im so tired and i just want it to end#im so fucking tired#i want to end things#but one thing that is keeping me is that 'whos gonna take care of my cats'#life has not been kind to me today#and i am hoping for some kind of miracle#that'll help me heal#hanging to the smallest of thread#if that thread snaps#only god knows what will happen#im so sorry I promised to make a lot of gifs for cod#but i cant#not right now at least#i really want to make and post gifs#cause thats what i love doing#and even that i am so tired to do#whoever followed me for cod/siege/destiny/any other gaming content#im really sorry i hope you can forgive me#i might not live post as much anymore#i might like a post here and there#other than that im not gonna invest as much as i used in my blog for a while#the queue will still be up#delete later
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