#today was just exhausting i saw my reflection while walking home today i looked like i got mauled & left exposed to the elements for a week

[kurapikaspookie]

⋆˚࿔ Somethin’ Stupid | x ness  𝜗𝜚˚⋆

୨ৎ obsessed!ness x reader fic, 1.1k word/20k words, ongoing.

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🌷͙⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

A boy with big cheeks and a sheepish smile seems to be bent on making you work harder than you should.

 

It’s been hours under the harsh, German sun, hours running laps with him by your side, always keeping up, even though you’re a fast paced runner. He cheers you on, tells you there’s ‘only one more drill!’ although one always turns into two, and then into another round of hurried breaths because Ness can’t count. The two-hour session is over. Has been, technically.

 

Training to be a midfielder was not for the weak. Your father – Noel Noa – decided he needed to hone your skills. Apparently, he had ‘hired a professional footballer’ with ‘years of experience’, someone he knew personally. Of course, you had never expected the professional footballer to be a boy your age, not even taller than you, with bright eyes and an easy-going smile.

 

That same boy was standing in front of you, still managing to stay upright, even after the long lap the two of you completed. But you didn’t miss the way sweat made his hair stick to his forehead. Didn’t miss the way his chest was subtly rising and falling, hinting at his own fatigue.

 

“Good run, right?” Ness huffed, hands on his hips, his eyes wide and bearing into yours. “What next? Should we home your aim? That cross was a little off-“

 

You blink. “We’re… still doing this?”

 

“You said you wanted to improve,” he says, too sweet. “And I’m still technically on the clock.”

 

Except he’s not. His session ended fifteen minutes ago. And you’re pretty sure you saw him glance at his phone right before ignoring it.

 

“Wait, ‘m tired…” you groaned, stretching your arms behind your back. “Isn’t two hours enough? We’ve passed the time already…”

 

Ness’ eyes widen, as if he hadn’t realized how much time had passed. His hands immedeately sprung up, a light blush appearing on his cheeks, as if he’d just been caught in a heinous act. “Ah, sorry! Time really does fly by… I lost track of the time!”

 

This is the third time this week he’s “lost track of the time.”

 

You nod, smiling at him, still grateful somewhat. You said you wanted to push yourself today. “Don’t apologise, was just exhausted, that’s all.” You pause for a second, recalling his words, your eyebrows raising. “Hey, you said my pass was a little ott, right? I can’t leave without correcting something like <em> that </em>.”

 

Ness nodded, the sparkle returning to his eyes. He picked a ball up off the hard floor, throwing it up and down twice, eyes still intense on you. “Well, it was really just your form. You were leaning back, see? That would to an overfit, not ideal for your strikers. You wanna open up your hips and torso so you can see both the ball and your targets.”

 

Ness dropped the ball in front of you, before walking over behind you, the ball rolling in front of your feet, at a slight angle.

 

Ness clears his throat. “Is it okay if I-“

 

You nod, looking over to the side, catching a glimpse of his sweet, innocent, awkward smile.

 

“I don’t mind.” You respond, facing front again. You feel Ness’ hands on you, his breathing seemingly heavier. He seems close, his chin almost above your shoulder, his chest brushing against your back. His hands slide down to your hips as he angles them.

 

“So… uh… try and engage your core.” Ness’ voice is a quiet, calm and level like it always has been, contrasting his loud breaths.

 

Ness places a hand on your shoulder, pushing them down. “Normally, when I deliver cross paths, all I can think about is how cool I’ll look…” Ness’ voice trailed off, as if he said something he wasn’t meant to.

 

“Really?” You chuckle softly. “That’s the best advice I’ve heard in a while, honestly.”

 

Ness laughs as well, still slightly adjusting your posture, his touch soft and careful. He guides your body to the right position, concentration reflecting in the tense air. His hair smells nice, you realize. A soft, vanilla scent,, something you know you would grow to associate with him.

 

You nod, but it’s hard to focus with the way his breath ghosts over the back of your neck.

 

You clear your throat. “You always get this handsy when you train people?”

 

He startles, pulling back just slightly, cheeks instantly pink.

 

“I—uh—I’m sorry. It’s just the fastest way to correct posture, I didn’t mean to—”

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

(You shouldn’t like how warm his hand felt. You do.)

 

Ness watches you try again, serious now, nodding as you follow his instruction. And when you finally get the angle right, when the ball arcs cleanly, smoothly… he beams, clapping his hands once with genuine excitement.

 

“That was it!” he says. “That’s exactly what I was trying to show you—see, I knew you’d get it!”

 

You’re flushed from the heat, but something else stirs in your chest. The way he looks at you, like you just won a match, like you’re the only person on the pitch, it’s… a lot.

 

“So…” Ness starts. “Time goes really fast during these lessons, doesn’t it?”

 

You nod, trying to gauge where he was going with this. “Sure does.” You mutter sarcastically, because no, time - in fact - did not go fast. “Why?”

 

Ness chuckled again, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should… I should give you a gift or something. Because of the extra time. Sorry about that.”

 

Ness gave you a wide, turtle smile, to which you nodded, your heart melting ever so slightly. “Do you want to… I don’t know… go out today? To a restaurant or something. My treat.”

 

You chuckled, giving him a small nod. “Yeah, sure. I can never turn down free food.”

 

__

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(A/N: small draft to make sure I’m on the right track! I am so snowed down with exams and results and my own personal book, so I will probably finish this during summer, expect like 20k words or so! Comments are SO motivating and appreciated!)

[caimitos]

didnt use to understand the whole clapping when the plane lands thing but for the past week ive been sitting down at 8-9 hour lectures and we always clap when they end and suddenly i understood

[lvnleah]

015. | Newborn Days

bit of an emotional one, strap in :)

word count: 2k

find the series masterlist here!

April 27th 2024 | 4 weeks old.

You always knew that having a newborn baby wouldn’t be easy, but you never expected the way your postpartum body would affect you.

The sleepless nights and endless feedings were exhausting, sure, but nothing compared to the wave of emotions that surged every time you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. It wasn’t just that your body was different; it was the way it felt foreign like it belonged to someone else entirely.

You would stand there, staring at your reflection, and struggle to reconcile the image before you with the person you used to be. The woman who had been confident in her skin was nowhere to be found.

In her place was a body marked by the life it had created, and while you were proud of that, it didn’t make it any easier to accept. The stretch marks, the soft and squidgy belly, the curves that hadn’t been there before—each was a reminder of the ways you had changed, and you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by it all. You found yourself hiding, even from Leah, covering up at every opportunity and avoiding her touch as if it would burn you.

Leah noticed, of course. How could she not? But she had been patient, giving you space, waiting for you to come to her. She had always been that way, never one to push too hard. But as the weeks went on, you could feel the strain between you growing, a tension that neither of you knew how to address.

Today was no different. You had spent the morning in a fog, going through the motions of caring for Finley while trying to push aside the gnawing anxiety that clung to you like a shadow. Leah had left early for training, it was her first week back. You knew she was struggling too, trying to balance her demanding career with the new realities of motherhood, and the last thing you wanted was to add to her burden.

As the day wore on, the weight of your emotions became harder to ignore. By the time Leah returned home, you were exhausted—physically, emotionally, in every way possible. Finley had finally drifted off to sleep, and you were grateful for the quietness.

Leah found you sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor. She had showered and changed after training at the training centre, her hair still damp. She looked as beautiful as ever, her athletic frame only made you feel worse as you mourned the one you used to have. You couldn’t help but compare your postpartum body to hers, and the gap between what you saw in yourself and what you saw in her felt like it was suffocating you.

“Hey pretty girl,” Leah said softly, walking over to you and crouching down in front. “You okay?”

You nodded automatically, “Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Leah didn’t look convinced. She sat down beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence thick with the weight of everything left unsaid. Finally, Leah reached out, her hand brushing lightly against yours.

“Talk to me,” she said gently. “Please, pretty girl.”

It was the kindness in her voice that undid you. The tears came suddenly, hot and fast, and you couldn’t hold them back.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out, burying your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry, Leah.”

Leah was quick to pull you into her arms, holding you close as you sobbed against her shoulder. “Hey, hey, don’t apologise,” she murmured, her voice steady and soothing. “You don’t have to apologise for anything. Just tell me what’s going on.”

You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. “It’s my body,” you finally admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I hate it, Leah. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I feel… I feel disgusting, and I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Leah pulled back just enough to look at you, her brow furrowed in concern. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” she asked softly, her hand coming up to wipe away your tears. “Why you won’t let me touch you?”

You nodded, feeling a wave of shame wash over you. “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” you whispered. “I didn’t want you to be disgusted by me.”

Leah’s expression softened, and she cupped your face in her hands, forcing you to meet her gaze. “I could never be disgusted by you,” she said firmly. “I love you—every part of you. Your body is incredible. It gave us Finley, and I’m in awe of it, of you. You’re still the woman I fell in love with, and nothing could ever change that.”

You wanted to believe her, but the insecurities ran deep, and it was hard to let go of the negative thoughts that had taken root in your mind. “But it’s different,” you insisted, your voice breaking. “I’m different.”

Leah nodded, acknowledging your feelings without dismissing them. “I know it’s different,” she said gently. “And I know it’s hard. But different doesn’t mean worse. You’re still you, and I still want you, love. I want all of you—your body, your heart, your mind. Every part of you.”

“I’m scared,” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to feel okay in my own skin anymore.”

Leah’s grip on you tightened, “You don’t have to figure it out alone,” she promised. “We’ll work through this together, one day at a time. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you,” you whispered, the words carrying a weight of gratitude and hope.

“I love you too,” Leah replied, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “More than anything. Wanna cuddle in bed for a bit?”

You nodded your head, “That would be nice.”

Leah gave you a soft smile as she gently helped you settle onto the bed, pulling the covers over the two of you. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close against her chest. The warmth of her body and the steady rhythm of her breathing gradually began to soothe your frayed nerves. The scent of her, familiar and comforting, made you feel safe, as though for a moment, the worries that had consumed you were held at bay.

For a while, you both lay there in silence, Leah’s fingers lightly tracing patterns on your back. You could feel the tension in your muscles slowly begin to ease away, your breaths syncing with hers as you allowed yourself to relax in her embrace.

Leah's voice was a quiet murmur in your ear as she began to speak, “You’re not alone in this, y’know. I’m here, always.”

You cuddled closer to her. "Thank you," you whispered, “I love you so much.”

Leah kissed the top of your head, her lips lingering as she held you tighter. "I mean it, love. I’m so proud of you, and I love every part of you, just as you are. We’ll figure this out together. I love you more.”

As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, a calmness you hadn’t felt in weeks began to settle within you. Leah's words reminded you that you were loved, that you were not defined by the changes in your body, and that you had someone by your side who cherished you for who you were.

The peace was short-lived but precious, as the baby monitor crackled, Finley’s soft cries pulling you both back into reality. Leah sighed softly, giving you a reassuring squeeze before reluctantly pulling away.

“Looks like our little man is awake,” she said with a smile.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go get him,” you offered, but Leah shook her head.

“No, you stay here,” she said gently. “I’ll get him. You need a break.”

You smiled at her gratefully, watching as she got out of bed and padded over to the door. As Leah left the room to tend to Finley, you lay back against the pillows, a small smile playing on your lips. The conversation with Leah had lifted a weight off your shoulders, and though you knew there were still challenges ahead, for the first time in a long while, you felt like you could face them.

Leah returned a few moments later, Finley in her arms, his tiny face scrunched up in a cry that had yet to reach its full volume. She settled back onto the bed beside you, cradling him as she handed him over to you. “He missed his mama,” she said softly.

“Oh hi baby boy,” you cooed as you got ready to feed him, “Are you hungry?”

Finley’s little hands brushed against his face as a little cry escaped him. You helped him latch on, his cries instantly stopping as he began to eat. Leah watched you with a smile as you cradled Finley close, her eyes filled with love and admiration. Leah leaned back against the headboard, her hand resting on your knee, offering silent support.

When Finley was finally settled and full, his tiny eyelids drooping with the onset of sleep, Leah gently took him from your arms, placing him into his Moses basket beside the bed. She returned to your side and helped you stand up, her hand slipping into yours, her thumb brushing over your knuckles in a comforting gesture.

“Why don’t we take a shower?” Leah suggested softly, “I think it’ll help you feel a bit better, a bit more human.”

You hesitated for a moment, the thought of being vulnerable in front of her making your heart race with anxiety. “But what about Finn he won’t sleep for—.”

“Finley will be just fine, we’ll be right beside him.” Leah reassured you, “We’ll have the baby monitor and he’ll be okay.”

You nodded in agreement. “Okay,” you whispered. “Let’s take a shower.”

Leah smiled and led you to the bathroom, turning on the shower to let the water warm up. The steam began to fill the room, and Leah slowly helped you undress, her touch gentle. She treated each movement as if it were sacred, a tender act of love rather than something to be ashamed of.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmured, as she placed a kiss on your bare shoulder. “So, so beautiful.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you didn’t shy away from her gaze this time. Instead, you let the words sink in, trying to believe them, if only a little.

Leah undressed as well, and then she guided you into the shower. The warm water cascaded over you both, and you closed your eyes, feeling the tension slowly melt away as the heat seeped into your muscles. Leah’s hands were gentle as she began to wash your body, her touch soothing and affectionate. She took her time, making sure you felt cared for and loved.

“You’re not just my partner you know?” she said softly. “You’re my best friend, the mother of our child, and the woman I’m going to love for the rest of my life. And I promise you, we’re going to get through this together.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but this time they were tears of love. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, turn around and I’ll wash your hair yeah?” She offered, “I’ll help you dry it too, you don’t need to worry.”

You turned around with a smile and let Leah wash your hair gently. Her hands gave you a soft massage as she rubbed in the shampoo before washing it out.

When you finally stepped out of the shower, Leah wrapped you in a fluffy towel, helping you dry off with the same care she had shown before. She helped you into some comfortable clothes, her actions gentle and loving. She helped you dry your hair, Finley still asleep in his Moses basket as she did so.

As you both headed back to bed, despite it being only 3 pm, Leah slipped in beside you, pulling you close against her. The two of you lay there in the quiet, Finley’s soft breathing filling the room.

Leah’s hand slipped under your shirt as you cuddled into her, “We’re going to be okay.”

You nodded, as she drew patterns on your back gently. “Yeah,” you whispered back, resting your head on her shoulder. “We will.”

[pinkbowsxo]

Corrupted Innocence - Part 9

Choi Su-bong x F!Reader

Corrupted Innocence Masterlist

summary: after the fight you felt bad for days. when he finally apologized everything was back to ‘normal’.

warnings: swearing, angst

a/n: it’s been so long omg i’m sorry, i’m so busy! i have a few incoming idea’s that people send into my inbox that i’ll be posting very soon:)

Thanos’ outburst lingers in your mind. His irritated tone, the way he snapped and yelled. You start to wonder: Did I really do something wrong last time? Am I really quiet and moody?

You went home, back to your apartment. You kept crying the whole car drive home. His words kept running through your head, as did the way he yelled at you.

You arrive home, tears streaming down your cheeks as you open the door to your apartment. You flop down on the couch, bury your face in a pillow, and cry uncontrollably. Thanos’ words play on loop in your head: “You’re being weird, quiet, and moody!”

You ended up crying yourself to sleep on the couch and spending the night there. The next morning you wake up with stiff muscles and a sore neck from sleeping on the couch. You drag yourself to the bathroom mirror and look at your reflection. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying all night. You splash your face with water and try to ignore the hollow emptiness in your chest.

You spend the day in a daze, unable to focus on anything but your fight with Thanos. You keep checking your phone, hoping he’ll reach out and apologize, but your screen remains stubbornly blank. As the sun sets, you feel more miserable than ever.

You stayed home all day. You didn't go out and you felt down all day. Tomorrow you had to go back to university and you weren't really looking forward to it. The next morning you drag yourself out of bed, pale and exhausted. Dark circles under your red, puffy eyes, remnants of the tears from the night before. You mechanically get ready for college, like a robot, feeling absolutely no excitement or motivation for the day ahead. Your heart aches as you constantly think of Thanos.

When you were in school, you saw Se-mi. She noticed how miserable you looked. Se-mi immediately notices you as you enter the university campus. Your usual cheerful and happy self is replaced by a dull, miserable version. She watches you shuffle along, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. Concern flashes across her face as she approaches you. "Hey, what's up with you today?"

"I'm just tired," you said, lying so hard. Se-mi studies your face carefully. Your eyes are red as if you've been crying, your cheeks are pale, and your expression is unusually blank. She's not convinced by your answer. "Are you sure that's all? You look like someone died." She jokes lightly, trying to make you laugh.

This isn’t the first time in such a short time that she’s seen you this upset. Something is definitely up. “No one’s dead, I’m fine.” Se-mi tilts her head and frowns slightly. She knows you too well to believe your act. “You’ve been acting strange for a while now. Every time I see you, you’re either quiet or look like you’ve been crying.” She pauses for a moment, her voice softening.

“I told you I was fine! I have to get to class.” Se-mi watches you walk away, concern on her face. She’s clearly worried about your sudden change in behavior, but she doesn’t press the issue. For now. As you walk to class, you can’t shake the feeling that she’s onto you, that she knows something is seriously wrong.

You went home after school. You collapsed on your bed as soon as you got home, exhausted and sad. You barely got your shoes off before you fell into a deep sleep, curled up in a ball on your pillow. Your dreams were filled with Thanos, his face, his touch, his voice calling your name.

Your phone vibrates softly on your nightstand, waking you from your dreamy sleep. You groggily reach out and grab your phone to see what it is. Your heart skips a beat when you see the notification, it's from Thanos. Your hands tremble slightly as you open the message.

Su-bong

hey

The message is short and simple, but it shocks you. That’s all it says. No apology, no explanation for his behavior the night before. Just one word that confuses you more than ever.

Su-bong

i’m sorry okay?

Su-bong

i was an asshole the other night

Su-bong

i just got carried away and said something stupid

His apology is sincere but short, typically Thanos. It hurts your heart, because even in his apology, he maintains that emotional distance that hurts so much.

You stare at the screen, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. Your heart pounds in your chest and you feel the tears welling up again. You want nothing more than to be with him, to feel his arms around you, to hear his voice in real life instead of through a cold text message. You can’t bring yourself to respond. Instead, you put the phone down and hug your pillow tightly, burying your face in the soft fabric. You begin to cry silently, tears soaking into the pillow as you imagine yourself being held by Thanos instead of this stupid pillow.

Your phone vibrates again. At first you ignore it, not wanting to deal with any more of its confusing signals. But then it vibrates again. And again. You lift your arms from your pillow and pick up your phone. You find three new messages from Thanos.

Su-bong

are you there?

Su-bong

answer me please

The last message sends a shiver down your spine. You can almost hear the desperation in his voice, the need for an answer. You hesitate for a moment, then slowly type out a response with shaking hands.

You

Yes… I’m here

You hit send and hold your breath. Your phone lights up with an incoming call from Thanos. Your heart skips a beat as you stare at his name on the screen, debating whether or not to answer. After a few tense seconds, you swipe up to accept the call and bring the phone to your ear. “Hey.” His voice is low and raspy, like he’s been smoking again or maybe just hasn’t gotten much sleep. Just hearing him makes you feel a tightening of emotion. You don’t say anything right away—what can you say? He takes your silence as an invitation to talk further.

“I know I messed up.” He says it bluntly, without hesitation or embellishment. “I said something I didn’t mean, and I hurt you. I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what to say, but you did it anyway. “I miss you.” Your voice is softer than you intended, barely above a whisper. You hear him inhale sharply on the other end of the line.

“I miss you too.” His words are a balm to your soul, soothing the ache that’s been there since he left. “Come here.” He says it like it’s easy, like there’s no barrier between them anymore. “I mean it. Come here right now.” His tone is commanding, but there’s an undercurrent of vulnerability in it that makes your knees buckle. Of course, it’s not because he actually misses you, it’s because he can’t stand being without his “toy.”

“I’ll be there.” You replied. “Good girl.” He hangs up before you can respond, leaving you staring at your phone with a mixture of anger, sadness, and longing. You quickly get dressed, grab your keys, and rush out the door to go meet him.

When you arrive, you take the elevator up, just like you did at his apartment, and you knock on the door. The door swings open almost immediately, as if he had been waiting right behind it. Thanos stands there, his expression unreadable, but his eyes burn into yours with an intensity that makes your heart beat faster. He steps aside to let you in without a word.

He watches you intently as you walk past him. His eyes drop to your ass and then slowly pull you up. He remembers why he kept you around, a small waist, big tits, and a nice ass. You're practically his dream woman, physically speaking. His gaze meets yours again. "You want a drink?"

“Yeah, just as long as it’s not beer,” you said as he grabbed a coke for you. He smirks, remembering how you always liked his drinks better than your own. He hands you the cold can of soda and watches you open it and take a sip. His gaze lingers on your lips for a moment before he turns to grab something stronger.

“I’m sorry.” He says it again, this time with more emotion. “I didn’t mean it.” He takes a sip of his whiskey before setting it on the counter. He walks slowly toward you. He brushes the hair out of your face. He’s so good at sucking you back in. The gentle gesture catches you off guard. His rough fingers brush against your jawline and tilt your face up so your eyes meet his. His voice drops to a whisper. “You look tired.” He knows exactly how to play this game: making you feel seen and cared for.

His gaze drops to your mouth again and lingers there for a moment. He leans down, his breath fluttering over your lips. “Come here.” He pulls you into a hug, wrapping his strong arms around you. You fit perfectly against him, as if you were meant to be there. One hand moves to the small of your back, pressing you firmly against him. The other moves to your hair, his fingers tangling gently in the strands. He inhales deeply, as if he’s been craving your scent since the last time he held you. “Missed this,” he murmurs in your ear.

He was so good at playing this, at playing you. His lips twitch against your ear in a smirk, knowing how effective his ‘apologies’ and ‘sweet moments’ are at winning you back. You’ve always fallen for this, his sudden tenderness after being an asshole. He tilts your head gently, giving himself the perfect angle to capture your lips in a deep, demanding kiss. His mouth moves against yours with a hunger he can’t hide.

He’s missed this, missed you. But he’ll never admit that out loud.

[syndullqs]

sleep deprivation — ezra bridger

summary — it’s been a while since you’ve gotten good sleep. the ghost crew is starting to see those effects.

warnings — gn!reader, absolute fluff

requested by — anon <3

SLEEP WAS EVADING YOU. this wasn’t the first night that you laid there, tossing and turning. your eyes met the ceiling, begging yourself to sleep. was it how quiet it was? maybe. you weren’t used to the quiet, not with how used to you were to loud noises and explosions. that was war.

you saw the beginnings of light peak under your door, and you ran your hands down your face. you and the ghost crew found a home on lothal, especially since the war since ended.

it didn’t mean that the nightmares didn’t stop. it didn’t mean that life all of a sudden got easier.

you rolled off of your cot, your back aching as you settled your feet onto the hard flooring of your room. it wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. you slipped into something more presentable, stretching your aching limbs as you did so. you needed caf, desperately.

you walked out of your room, the light of the hallway blinding you as you made your way down the hallway of the building you called home. the other members of the ghost crew resided there, as well as some other ex-rebellion fighters.

“good morning!” a too-happy chirp came from ezra, who peaked out of his room. he noticed the bags under your eyes, the lack of energy you had. you’d looked like that for the past few days. yesterday you were hyped up, and today you were obviously not.

“not in the mood, ezra,” you grumbled as you walked into the kitchen, grabbed the pot of freshly made caf and a mug.

“sorry,” he shrugged as he followed you into the kitchen, watching as you drank the caf straight, without anything in it, “since when do you drink straight caf?”

“since i can’t seem to get some sleep,” you gave a tight-lipped smile as you took a sip. ezra looked at you, surprised. he didn’t know how he didn’t see it earlier.

“why aren’t you sleeping?”

“i think it’s too quiet,” you admitted, leaning against the counter. it was just the two of you in there, the coolness of the room biting at your skin.

“being in a war your whole life makes you forget how nice the quiet is,” he agreed. he knew what it was like, sleeping after the war. he didn’t get much of it until he got used to it. his heart hurt upon the realization that you were having a hard time adjusting.

“yeah…did you about the excavations the rebellion is doing?”

“no,”

“yeah it’s pretty cool. there’s a lot of history behind it. apparently they’ve found this really cool artifact, which by the way dates back all the way to the clone wars,”

“oh really?” he watched you, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter. he liked watching you geek out, tell him facts about some obscure part of history or something related. he always learned something from you.

“it’s cool. i want to ask ahsoka about it and see if she remembers — hey hera, did you get my report last night?” you interrupted yourself upon the arrival of hera, who looked at tired as everyone else was.

“i did, thanks,” she hummed as she poured herself a cup of caf.

“good, let me know if i need to fix anything. anyways, i was going to ask ahsoka if she remembered it, which reminds me that i have to send a message to someone about something,” you felt the connections in your brain loosening, which altered your ability to focus on one thing at a time. multitasking wasn’t exactly your strong suit.

“who do you need to send a message to?” ezra asked. surprisingly, he never got whiplash whenever you’d switch up the topics of conversation like that. he was used to it, and honestly he liked it. he thought it was adorable, yet he knew that’s not how you felt. he knew you felt like your mind was melting.

“i don’t remember…” you trailed off, losing yourself in your reflection in your cup of caf. your brain hurt, you were exhausted, and you needed some sleep. ezra softly removed the cup from your hands, settling it on the counter.

“you need sleep,” you softly told you.

“i know but i can’t,”

“i can help you,”

“how?” your hands slapped against your thighs in frustration.

“we jedi have this thing called the force and it can help put you to sleep,” he replied, causing you to smack his arm for how smart he was being.

“can you actually do that?” you asked him, a hopeful glint in your eyes. he chuckled, taking your hand in his and leading you to your bedroom.

“yeah, it’s pretty cool actually,” he hummed as you reached your room. you laid down, ezra sitting next to you. you curled up with your blankets, ezra’s warm hand covering your forehead. you felt the soft pull of sleep, pulling you deeper into its embrace.

“sleep well, y/n,” ezra hummed as your eyes closed, falling asleep.

hehe i hope you enjoy anon! sorry it took me so long and i’m sorry if it doesn’t exactly fit your request, but we still got some cute ezra fluff.

[eros-ghoulette]

Can you write something about Aether finding his place in the ministry after being a band ghoul for so long? I miss my man :(

(if not that's chill tho)

Five weeks.

Aether has reasons to retire, but it's still hard to do so. (Aether has anxiety)

Characters: Aether, Omega, Delta

Word count: 1450

One week.

One week since the band had left the abbey, and Aether looked up at the sky, stars reflecting in the dark purple of it; a galaxy of its own. The brightest star shone white in the black of the night, spending light in the hours of darkness.

There was a sigh, barely audible, and the quint looked down at his hands. While the stars were among others, he was alone. It had been the right decision to quit playing in the band, and still… the question remained. It haunted him more often than not and made him feel bad when happiness should reign. Was he wrong? Was the decision, his decision, the wrong one? Should he be there, on the road, on the stage? Was Phantom really ready to bear such a role?

And there it was… the anxiety he had hoped to cure by stepping down, by giving his place to the young one, it was back. And it hurt.

The last tour had made Aether feel the real impact of being in a band. He had started to doubt himself, counted every mistake, and overthought every action and movement. His joints started to hurt for hours after a show, the small bunks in the bus not helping at all.

It had been the right thing to retire.

But the anxiety wasn’t gone. It had been, for the time he was at home and with the others, and then a few days more. And now he couldn’t even pinpoint the reason for it. The point was, he was alone and felt helpless, and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

Two weeks.

Two weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether looked down at the phone in his hands. Pictures from the latest ritual Dew had sent him. The quint felt his chest tighten and put his phone aside.

“Do you want to help me in the infirmary today?”

Omega stood in the door, arms crossed over his chest, but his gaze was soft. The older ghoul knew Aether was feeling alone, lost even. He saw the younger’s face, watched it for days now, and he knew he had to do something. In times of turmoil, when the brain screamed, and the heart throbbed, in times like these, it was hard. And everything ached because the mental exhaustion couldn't keep up and transferred to the muscles and joints; so it would hurt less. To spread the pain on everything instead of keeping it in one place. But that’s not how it worked. That’s how physics worked, not creatures. And instead of making it less, it just got less bearable.

“Alpha said he has better things to do than do my paperwork every day,” Omega added with a smirk. “And no, I don’t want you to do my paperwork. You could help with the patients while I do the paperwork.”

Truth be told, Aether had no real desire to do anything today. But he also had no intention of turning the other’s request down and nodded.

“Sure,” he simply said, and stood up from the table. Aether had breakfast half an hour ago, but the energy to actually get up hadn’t been there. Now he had a reason to stand up. His phone slipped into his pocket as he walked next to Omega.

* * *

Three weeks.

Three weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether lay in his bed; awake. He had trouble sleeping, not much but enough to keep him up till late night. The quint guessed the reason for it was his desperate need for touch. He longed for it, every cell of his body wanting it so badly it overwhelmed him.

He could go to Ifrit and Zephyr, those two would most likely welcome him with open arms, but Aether felt like a burden at the bare thought of it. It’s not that he wanted sex, he wanted affection. Quiet words of praise, whispered in the night, almost just breathed and filled with soft tenderness. Physical affection, a body to hold, warm limbs intertwined with his, hands to stroke his belly and lips to kiss his forehead.

And still… That longing was hard to overcome when there was no one to give such affection. But his mind got calmer this past week, his body ached less, and his heart throbbed not so much anymore when he thought of his pack. The work in the infirmary was good. He talked much with Omega and Alpha often came by to join them. The tall fire ghoul may claim he hated paperwork, but he still helped when he could.

* * *

Four weeks.

Four weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether cried. Choked sobs left his throat, making it burn. Tears, unshed for too long, wetting his cheeks, seeping into his shirt. His hands trembled, body shaking, and he forced himself to breathe; just breathe. One rattling breath after another; in and out. And after minutes that felt like an eternity, he managed to stop.

A knock.

He flinched and listened. Breathe in… another knock. Breathe out.

“It’s open.” The quint’s voice was hoarse, nothing like his usual self. But whoever stood in front of his door would come in nonetheless, so why try to act tough?

And when the door opened, he scoffed at the ghoul that greeted him. Delta was no one he talked to often. It wasn’t that he didn’t like him, they just had no real connection with each other.

“I passed by and heard you,” the other explained. “Sorry if I’m uhm… I could leave if you like.” An awkward smile formed on his lips, and he looked incredibly unsure of himself.

Aether shook his head.

“No, you can stay,” he answered before he could think of anything else. There was a fondness in Delta’s gaze that made Aether trust him enough. And maybe he wanted it, he wanted someone to comfort him. Someone he wouldn’t need to search out for, someone that came by themselves, and here he was. Delta was here.

“May I sit?” the older one asked and pointed at the corner of the bed.

Aether nodded.

Delta moved, and the mattress dipped under his weight. He wasn’t looking at the younger.

“I know how you feel,” he began. “At least I think I do, kinda.”

Aether stayed quiet.

“You know? Your anxiety is smellable to everyone, but most just… don’t know what to do. Your pack would know I guess, but they aren’t here, so… I had the same problem, or I still have the problem from time to time.” He shrugged and sighed. “It gets better. You probably feel better even now after this… breakdown.”

“Mhh,” Aether made. He actually felt kinda better.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t bottle it up. But we all do that, and you won’t stop just from my saying. And I’m obviously not good at all this,” Delta chuckled a bit. “But how about I just stay here for a while, and we get to know each other?”

* * *

Five weeks.

Five weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether laughed at a joke Omega made while they cleaned up the infirmary room together. His phone rang, and Aether looked at it to find new pictures from his pack, Dew had sent.

And while it was still kinda sad that he was here, and they were there, he was sure now it had been the right decision. Talking to Delta and working with Omega made him happy. Last night, Delta had cuddled with him, and the desperate need for touch had been gone for those hours. Three days ago, Alpha and he had played guitar together, and it had been fun.

“Can you do the paperwork today?” The puppy eyes Omega could pull were hard to resist, and Aether rolled his eyes.

“Can you get me a sandwich for lunch?” he asked back and received a grin.

“On my way,” Omega saluted playfully and left the infirmary.

Aether sat behind the desk, humming a song. He was in a good mood, a great mood. The tightness in his chest was gone, and his mind stayed quiet. There were moments he thought it all might return, but even then… he now knew he wasn’t alone, he wasn’t lost. He was here, and his pack was there, but they would return, and he would still be here. The infirmary needed him, and he needed the tasks it set. And while he had that, he would be fine. It could be hard, but he had friends to rely on, and that was enough. This was his place now, a damn good one.

__________

I really hope this whole thing here is understandable 💀

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

[panda-rue]

Log 1

May 5 - Asakusa/Fukagawa Edo Museum

Today was the first day of excursions on my Japan trip ! We started it off by visiting the Senso-ji Bhuddist Temple in Asakusa. There was so much to do and so many people there that I almost felt overwhelmed. The first thing that stole my attention was the street that was lined with different vendors and shops. I ended up only buying some post cards to send back to friends and family while I'm here. (If you want a post card from me just lmk lol I'll try to send you one). Moving down further there were food vendors, a place where you could get your fortune read, and the main area of the temple. I ended up getting my fortune read and unfortunately got a bad luck card. But, don't worry y'all I tied up my fortune on a nearby rack and left it behind me (hopefully). The temple itself was expansive and beautiful. I borrowed 10 yen from a friend and tossed it into the donation pile so maybe that further negated my apparent bad luck. By then I was starving and had some fried chicken and lemonade from the street vendors. It was pretty banger but the fact that the lemonade was fizzy kind of threw me off. After that we ended up going to an Edo museum. The best part of the museum was a recreation of an area of an Edo period town. They had it set up so that you could actually walk into the homes or shops and look at all of the decorations and such lying around. It was a very unique experience and much more immersive than any museum I've been to in America. We ended the night with dinner at a restaurant called On-Yasai. They specialize in Shabu Shabu which is essentially Japanese hot pot. It was so fun to eat and get to know the other people on my trip. The best things I ate were probably the udon noodles, enoki mushrooms, and tiramisu I had for desert. Now I'm exhausted and very glad to be going to bed lol.

Academic Reflection

I remember that our first reading mentioned that many modern Japanese people have a sort of disconnect between Bhuddism or Shintoism until a funerary service is necessary in their life. This made me expect to not see very many locals around the temple since it seems like a very tourist-y site. However, I actually believe that I saw a good mix of toursits and locals at the site today. I was kinda surprised to see this based on our readings but at the same time I thought that it was very interesting. Even if you have lived in a city for your whole life, sometimes its fun to still go exploring and act like a curious tourist.

For the second site and reading, it was really cool to put into perspective the lifestyle that people were living in these heavily class based societies. The reading highlighted how people from lower classes were treated as lesser than peopole of samurai or higher status. This mock-village was clearly home to a merchant level and based group of people. Reading about the distinctions between classes and how that system kind of worked and came to be allowed me to place this replica into some sort of temporal context. This town wasn't representative of everyone's experience was during this time period, but instead people of lower class status.

[the-good-projxct]

Feb 29th, 2024

10:39 pm listening to Giveon’s favorite mistake. Sitting in my room in Karen. I had such a people centric day. Like, I love people and ting. I love them in the way that God expects us to Love one another. In the sense of please do you, achieve your dreams, hopes and goals without anyone hindering you, may you feel Love and Love. Now, do I enjoy being around people, especially strangers? Not really. And it is not a conscious dislike type of thing, it's that being around strangers is exhausting to me. EXHAUSTING. We don’t even need to engage much but any room with more than 5 strangers exhausts me. I think it's because I am very aware, present with strangers and such an engagement is just tiring. With people I know or I am close to, it is basically my favorite kind of hang out. I can spend a crazy amount of time with people I Love and I am used to, if I am mentally prepared for it. So there are layers. I Love time with people I Love, only if I am in that headspace. Strangers, it's generally a no for me dawg. One on one hang outs are my absolute favorite. Anyway, today I went to the central business district(CBD) via matatu. First I went to the hub to pick up my pants and jumpsuit. Thank you Aunty Rose for hemming them and getting them back to me so quickly. Then Kendi and I walked to the matatu stop, took a loud and packed matatu to GPO. Got out, walked to Hazina towers. I saw my cousin Kendi and her mom for a little bit. Then as I was walking to Imenti, I saw a little nail shop and decided to get a mani-pedi. Yo, the amount of massage involved was incredible. He didn’t do my toenails as I wanted but we agreed next time, he will. The guy doing my nails asked me if I was Ethiopian, sigh. I am always a foreigner. I am always othered. Bane of my existence. I told him no, I am Meru. And he laughed, saying I was quiet for a Meru. Then we talked about stereotypes and how people are people. He reflected on his comment on his own and it was nice to observe that. Anyway, while I was doing my nails I called Shaka, we chatted for a bit. He is not doing well. And then I called Munene because I was feeling sad about Shaka and we talked for like an hour. The nail guy then realized, I talk to my people, I am not quiet with my people. Then I walked to Imenti and that was intense. So many people, everywhere all at once. It can be overwhelming because I have to be sooo alert. Anyway, as if that wasn’t enough of CBD, Kendi and I decided to go look for things we wanted to buy. We walked around the street markets at peak street market hours. It was loud, bustling and so many people were shoulder to shoulder. It was a nice little adventure though. I got a pair of jeans and cool round glasses. I use sunglasses or glasses a lot when I am here because of the level of dust and particles in the air, my eyes always get irritated. When I came home, Baby Jason Mwenda called me Mbete because she wears glasses. LMAO. When we got home, we told SweSwe that we couldn’t sleep last night because we thought it was a bird was making noise. Then she told us it was a frog. We were like, huhh? A frog?!?. Anyway, we went outside to find this LOUD frog and kill it because we needed sleep. Turns out, it was in the empty, unused, relic of a pool. Mulandi went down to find the frogs while Kendi and I used our phones as flashlights. He killed them and it was quiet again. It was such a weird but fun adventure. Anyway, Life is soo soo Gøod. Ase.

[thesunmeltedthegrayaway]

An Allure That Never Fades Away: Dallas Winston x Reader

This is a request! If you would like to make a request take a look at (this post) for all of the characters I am currently writing for.

My Multi-fandom Masterlist

The request is...

The walk back to your place was filled with a tense silence. You had gotten a call in the middle of the night from Dal from guess where? Jail, of course... you didn't utter a word to him when you bailed him out. So he in return didn't utter a word to you. He knew when you were pissed off and the last thing he wanted to do was get into an argument.

You sat on the steps of your place when you got back. The look on your face was stern and angered. Dallas just stood there looking down on you.

"How many times, have you told me that you weren't going to get into trouble like that anymore?" You ask, your voice sounded exhausted and frustrated.

"Look-"

"I don't want to hear an excuse or an explanation about why you got arrested Dallas. I just want to know why you keep lying to me."

"I think you're being a little overdramatic Y/N." He said with a humorous tone.

"I am not being overdramatic. I am just sick and tired of bailing you out of jail every other month because you can't stop acting like a jackass!" You vented.

"Oh, so you're tired of me then?" He ask, his eyes began to glare at me.

"Oh my god..." You brush your hair back and sigh out. "I am not tired of you, Dal, I love you. But you can't keep acting like this."

He still seemed to not be taking me too seriously. For some reason, it just caused you to break down. Maybe it was the frustration you had been feeling for a while, or if it was the lack of sleep you had gotten.

"Dallas when you do stuff and act like this it makes me feel like you could care less about me... about us." A slight whimper followed my sentence.

Dallas scoffed at me, making you feel even worse than you already did. "Oh give me a break."

"Maybe I will." You mutter quietly, but you could tell that he heard you.

"What?" He asks, his demeanor going from anger to stoic in a split second.

"I don't think I can do this anymore." You admit breathlessly.

Dallas's expression remainder blank, but his jaw began to tense. That was something he always did when he was trying to keep his emotions in control.

"Really?" He asked.

You looked away from him, not answering his question.

"Y/N." He said making you look at him reluctantly, tears began to refill in your eyes. "Are you-"

"Yeah." You interrupt, your word cracked as you said it.

For a split second, you could see a look of hurt in his eye. "Fine." He forced out before walking off, leaving you sitting on the porch alone.

You looked down at your lap, Dallas's Christopher that he had given you hang down your neck. Its pendant stared back at you as you began to soak in the emotions that poured out of you...

~~~ A month had gone by, and you hadn't seen or heard any sign of Dallas. It was strange to you, someone who you couldn't go a day without hearing about was just... gone. I worried you of course, just because you had broken up with him didn't mean you just stopped caring for him.

It was crazy how much you still seemed enthralled with him again. The second you had gotten a chance to reflect on the choice you had made, it was as though those feelings of passion and adoration came back. Even more intensified than before. So, it made dealing with the breakup from Dallas that much harder. It drove you crazy not knowing how he was doing or the things he might possibly get into.

You just wanted a chance to talk with him again. Maybe it could help you both in the long run. Maybe all you needed was to get some closure with him.

Today seemed to be that day.

You were walking home from work, the day seemed to have dragged on longer than normal. By the time you clocked out you were exhausted. The last thing you were expecting to see waiting for you on the porch was him. But there he sat looking slightly nervous when he saw you again.

"Hey." Is all you could say, you were stunned the second you saw him.

"I- I fucked up... I know that." He started, you were taken aback by his bluntness.

"Yeah, you did." You crossed your arms and tried to divert your attention off of Dally. Your eyes chose to lock their stare on the ground.

"And I know you're probably done with me now... in all honesty, I'm sure you've been done with me for a while."

"That's not true... I was never done with you Dallas. If anything I thought you were completely over me."

"That's crazy." He said scoffing at your assumption.

"Is it? I mean, it took you weeks sometimes to talk to me. I felt like you were avoiding me. And the only time you ever did show up around here is when you needed me to either patch you up or if you needed a place to sleep." You took in a breath before continuing.

"I don't know about you Dal but that doesn't exactly show that you were deeply enthralled with me."

"I know I pushed you away." He muttered feebly.

"Why Dal?"

"It's just something I'm used to doing, okay? Ever since her I just..."

You fought the urge to cringe at the mention of Slyvia. While Dallas hesitated not wanting to finish his sentence.

I walked over and sat down next to him on my cold steps. Our eyes locked, his was filled with apprehension.

"Just what?"

"I feel like it's the only thing I can do to protect myself." I could tell his admission made him feel uneasy.

"Dallas, I am not her or anyone else who might've fucked you over. I can't be punished for what somebody else has done to you."

"I know, I shouldn't have put you through all of that."

"You're saying all the right things Dal, but how do I know if you're going to stick with it all or not."

"Just give me the chance to and I'll show you I will." He said in a headstrong tone.

You could feel your heart beat out of your chest, and the chain of Dal's Christopher began to burn your skin.

"Dally I don't know..." You say apprehensively. You wanted to get back together with him, but you didn't want to be put through the coldness he had before again.

"Y/N/N, please just give me chance. If I fuck up again I swear I'll leave you alone." He said almost desperately.

You looked back down at the ground, contemplating your decision. You then sighed, ready to speak again.

"Okay, I-I'll give you another chance." Dallas began to smirk making you want to smile as well. "But, you have one more chance, one more strike, you screw up you're gone. I mean that 100%."

"Deal." He said simply.

"Now, come here..." You say opening your arms up. He attached himself to you almost immediately. His embrace brought you the comfort you longed for the past month he had been gone.

God, I missed you...

A/N: I may or may not have based this off of this headcanon I made a few weeks back. Also... I don't know how to feel about this lol.

[lovely-angst]

break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

-

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

-

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

-

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

-

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

-

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

[hauntedwitch04]

hii can req for comfort azriel one shot?? where the reader's having a bad day and crying thinking about it and him comforting her, with hugs and kisses? holding the reader till she falls asleep?? up to your imagination tbh, just a comfort one shot 😀tysm<3

God, what have I done to deserve you Azriel

Azriel x reader 

Words: about 1.3k words 

Warnings: Angst, sad reader, fluffy Azzy, bad grammar (I'm sorry, it really sucks)

Author's note: at the end

Request are always open :)

My masterlist

Taglist

Gif not mine, credit to the owner

This feeling has been invading my chest for days now. I can't seem to shake it off. Every time I feel like it's gone, it comes back stronger than before. And I can't take it anymore. I'm exhausted. The only thing I want is for it to go away. But it won't go away. That feeling of sadness that makes you doubt everything you believe in. 

I hate it, but I can't get it off of me, and that's why I get angry, and that anger just makes it grow and make it more and more important.

I didn't tell Azriel, knowing he would leave work to be with me, when for the first time, three  days ago, I felt this feeling gripping my chest. It all started with going outside to try on an outfit with Mor and Feyre for the upcoming family dinner, since it will also be Cassian's birthday. It was something innocent that turned into my death sentence. 

While we were trying on dresses, I looked at myself in the mirror, and started comparing myself to the other two women next to me. They are so beautiful, so graceful, so perfect, everything that I am not. Their bodies are perfect, capable of making all men who see them fall into temptation, while I...well I am not like them. Some days I feel good about my curves, about being curvy, proud of who I am, but other days, like today, I find myself crying on the bed, wondering why I'm not thin or perfect like other girls. I know it's stupid to think, because no one is perfect, but sometimes I can't help but hate my body and how it's made, despite Az telling me over and over again, in discussions we've had when I've had other moments like this in the past, that I'm fine the way I am, because I'm perfect for him. 

 The girls wanted to try on some clothes when we walked into that store, and right away I felt out of place seeing all those beautiful clothes. Next to the entrance was a beautiful mirror, in which I saw my image reflected as soon as we walked in. I stopped to look at my reflection and couldn't help but notice all my flaws, one by one, thus slipping into a whirlwind with no exit. I managed to escape from my thoughts only when I heard Feyre's voice calling me, to show me a dress that she thought would be perfect for me. I politely declined to wear it, saying that I wasn't feeling very well and would be going home. The two women immediately asked me worriedly if I wanted them to accompany me, but I again said no, thanking them, saying that I would go alone and that I didn't want to ruin their shopping. I didn't want them to see me cry. 

When I got home, I immediately locked myself in my room, and almost didn't make it to my bed in time. Tears were already rolling down many of my cheeks. I felt a tear in the bond between me and my partner, who was worried about me since he had heard me crying, but I had closed the bond in response. I knew he was on a mission for Rhysand, and that he wouldn't be back for a week, which was Cassian's birthday, and I thought he would certainly forget about it, or at least I thought he would. For three days I kept the bond between us closed, until the night of the third day, today, Az came through the front door with eagerness, in his eyes pure fear and worry, while I cried in our bed, wearing my favorite sweater, aka his, wrapped in blankets, with the only desire to sink into the mattress and never be seen again by anyone.

My partner immediately went looking for me when he heard soft moans coming from our room. He opened the door and there he saw me, buried under the covers in tears. I saw that sadness appear in his eyes, typical of when I'm having a bad day and he feels guilty for the pain I'm in. He quickly walks over to the bed, removes his clothes, and puts on some sweatpants resting on the chair next to the bed. The next thing I know he's lying next to me, hugging me, both with his arms and his wings. 

Azriel: "Honey you should have told me, I would have come back even sooner."- he says stroking my hair and kissing my forehead, while more tears run down my cheeks. His other hand is resting on my waist, Az with his thumb making little circles knowing that it relaxes me.

Y/N: "I don't deserve you. I-I don't deserve you. You are the perfect man, you are sweet, handsome, kind, smart. I bet there are a myriad of girls who would love to be in my shoes, who are infinitely better than me, but why then not choose them? Why me? I'm not perfect, I'm not thin, I'm not graceful, I'm not perfect, not like you. So why choose me Azriel, you deserve so much more than that." 

Azriel: "My love, I will always, always choose you. To me you are perfect just the way you are. You are the most beautiful, intelligent, and funny person I know. There isn't a thing I don't love about you: your laugh, your early morning tousled hair, the fact that you drool in your sleep, which makes you awfully cute, your passion for your beloved books, your eyes so full of life and bright. You are perfect just the way you are, don't believe what you think, let me tell you how you are sweetheart. Don't ever let these thoughts take place in your little head again, okay?" 

Y/N: "What did I do to deserve you?"- I say crying, as I snuggle even closer to his chest, letting his words and warmth invade my senses. Slowly I start to feel better, I don't know if it's the closeness with the man I love, or his speech, but I feel some confidence growing in me again. 

Azriel: "I ask myself every day the same thing. What did I do to deserve a woman like you? So beautiful, so funny, and smart who loves everything about me, even what I can barely stand"-he says lowering his gaze to his hand resting on my waist. 

I kiss him, trying to convey everything I feel to him, not trusting my voice at the moment. The kiss seems to last for hours, but at the same time, I can't get enough of my partner's lips, so sweet and soft, to which I am now addicted. When we part for lack of breath, the shadowsinger rests his forehead on mine and says to me. 

Azriel: "Come on tell a little bit about what happened while I was gone."

And so I start telling him about all the good things I did, before my bad moment, like breakfast with Nesta in a cafe along the Sidra, lunch with Mor and Feyre and even if short shopping with them. I tell him about that beautiful dress I saw in the window, which I didn't have the courage to try on because it was too beautiful. Then he starts to tell me about his mission and slowly I feel sleep taking possession of my body tired from the continuous crying.  Just before falling asleep I feel my companion stop, kiss my forehead and then tell me, while I'm still snuggled against his chest, in his arms. 

Azriel: "Good night my love...I have to remember tomorrow to go get her that dress, I have to ask Nes has to distract her somehow, it has to be a surprise." 

God, what have I done to deserve you Azriel.

-------------------------------

Author’s note: Hi! Thank you for requesting me this, you don't know how much you made my day, really. These days have been bad days for me, so in writing this story, I felt a little taken aback. It helped me a lot to write it. I hope you are doing well, that you are happy. I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't let the hard days win, whenever I'm feeling down I think of when Mor says this quote to Feyre, and I feel better. Now I say it to people like me who aren't feeling at their best, hoping it will have the same effect. I’m sorry if it is that sad, but I cried while writing it, so it came out like this. With love, your Becky. 

[wandaromanova]

Date Night

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, sexual suggestion, that’s all!

A/N: hello! here is some fluff for y’all! hope you enjoy! happy reading <3

anon requested: Hi honey! I saw that your requests are open :)) I was wondering if I may please request a fluffly Natasha Romanoff x fem reader one shot, where she surprises the reader with a lunch date (reader has had a super stressful week!) and then convinces her to take the rest of the day off. Later on maybe Natasha starts dropping hints at their future together and later on in the week she proposes (maybe somewhere that has meaning to them) after a very romantic dinner. Thank you!! :))

Summary: Natasha convinces her girlfriend to take some time off of work. They end up having a date night unlike any of their previous ones.

Word Count: 3K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

Natasha stared up at the tall building with two bags of food in hand. She was about to surprise you with some lunch, considering you haven’t been able to take a single break the entire week.

Seriously, even when you were at home, you’d be working on paperwork or taking call after call from your company partners. You’d then go back to work the next morning and completely neglect your own needs, the only thing you’d focus on was anything work-related.

You were the CEO of a major telecommunications company and things have been super hectic around your office. You barely had time to breathe with everything that had been going on, so, Natasha thought that it would be a good idea to give you a nice surprise.

She made her way into the building and got into one of the fancy elevators, quickly tapping the button to the top floor and stood in silence, lively elevator music filling the small space.

When the doors opened, she walked out and was greeted by your secretary; Megan.

“Hi, Ms. Romanoff. Ms. L/N is just in her office working on some paperwork. She has a meeting in 20 minutes, though.”

Megan sent Natasha a friendly smile. The redhead simply nodded and mumbled out a small ‘thank you’ before opening the door to your office.

She was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk. The light poured into the tall windows in the room, providing sufficient lighting.

You glanced up from your papers at the sound of the door closing softly. Natasha smiled at you and held up the bags of food. Your lips turned upward at the sight of your girlfriend of five years.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” You asked as you got up from your desk, quickly making your way over to greet the Russian. You pulled her in by the waist and into a tight hug.

“I thought you could use some lunch. You haven’t been taking care of yourself and I’m here to change that.” Natasha mumbled into your neck as her arms rested on your shoulder, gripping onto the food she still had in her hands.

“Baby, you didn’t need to come all the way here. I’m fine, just been super busy lately is all.” You pulled back slightly and stared into green eyes.

“Yes, I needed to. I can’t just standby while you’re practically drowning in stress.”

Natasha got out of your embrace and made her way over to your desk, placing the food down and turning around, leaning onto the table with two hands gripping the furniture behind her.

“I’ll manage, it’s kind of my job.” You let out a small giggle, rounding the desk and sitting on your chair. Natasha turned in her spot as you patted your lap.

“Come on, let’s eat the food you brought. I have a meeting soon so we gotta be quick.”

Natasha walked toward you and sat in your lap, your arms circling around her waist. She opened the food and laid out the plates of Thai food.

Natasha fed you and herself. You both sat in silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

Occasionally, Nat would mimic an airplane or train noise as she moved the spoon closer to you, laughing as she abruptly shoved the utensil into your mouth.

After fifteen minutes had passed, you looked at your watch and sighed. You had another meeting that would probably be ridiculously long for no reason.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I have to get going. I have a meeting in five.”

You moved to get up, but Natasha refused to move off of your lap. You raised an eyebrow at her, the redhead giving you a stern look.

“Take the day off.” You shook your head in protest. You couldn’t take a day off, not now at least.

“Honey, you know I would if I could, bu-“ Natasha immediately cut you off, pressing her lips against yours before pulling back quickly.

“You can though. You’ve been working more than necessary! Please, it’s not even a full day off, it’s half a day.”

Natasha gave you the best puppy dog eyes and pout that she could, knowing how it affected you. Of course, she ended up winning.

“Fine, fine.” You muttered out, leaning forward and pressing a button on your desk-side phone, paging Megan, who sat just outside your office.

“Yes, Ms. L/N?” Your assistant’s spritely voice rang through the phone.

“Megan, could you please clear the rest of my day? I’m taking the day off.” You heard some shuffling on the other end of the phone before the woman replied.

“Okay, your schedule has been cleared and your meetings have been rescheduled to tomorrow.”

Natasha, who could faintly hear the other end of the conversation, smiled triumphantly and placed a soft kiss on the side of your neck.

“Thank you.” And with that, you hung up and returned your attention to the beaming redhead in your lap.

“You never play fair.” You mumbled against her cheek as you placed a gentle kiss against her skin.

“All is fair in love and war, moya lyubov (my love).” You rolled your eyes at the Russian while holding back a smile.

She got out of your hold and stood up, grabbing both of your hands and forcefully pulling you to your feet.

“Let’s go! I know a few things we could do today.” Natasha spoke seductively and sent you a little wink before grabbing the trash on your desk and throwing it away in the small trash can you had under the table.

You watched with a wide smile as she waltzed toward the door, making sure to sway her hips a little more, exaggerating the movement. There was an extra spring in her step that caused her red locks to bounce with each movement.

She turned her head around when her hand was on the doorknob, smirking at you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you coming or not?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I have a feeling I will be soon.”

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

4 hours later

You laid in bed with Natasha by your side, her head resting on your shoulder with an arm around your torso.

After hours of love-making, you guys had finally gotten to relax. You both just stayed there in each other’s arms, appreciating the moment.

“Honey?” Natasha spoke, breaking the silence.

You tilted your head to look down at her, the redhead already staring up at you as you hummed.

“Have you ever thought about what you want your future to look like?”

This wasn’t the first time you guys have discussed the future. You’d both mention small tidbits of your aspirations and goals, but never went too far into the details of it all.

“Well, first starters, you’re definitely there.” Natasha smiled up at you with bright eyes. It absolutely warmed your heart to see her so full of joy.

“Really?” You nodded your head and kissed her forehead, the redhead briefly shutting her eyes as your soft lips met her skin.

“Really.” You pulled back, brushing your nose against hers. The redhead placed a hand on your cheek, as connected your foreheads.

“Well, I see you in mine too. Maybe we would end up leaving this penthouse and buy an actual home together.”

You nodded with a wide smile. The thought of buying a property with the woman you adored had you giddy.

“Yeah, definitely. Then maybe we could have little rascals of our own running around. We could find a surrogate or maybe even adopt if you’d want to.”

Natasha felt like she was going to melt into a puddle of love. The thought of having children to raise with you filled her with more joy than ever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’d love that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The moment was cut off when a loud yawn tore through your body, promoting a little giggle from your girlfriend.

She cuddled closer to you, her arm tightening around your body with a smile on her face.

“Let’s get some rest.” Natasha’s words were slightly slurred, the exhaustion of your previous activities hitting her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, so we can have energy for a round two.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah right, more like round ten.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Go big or go home!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Go to sleep, idiot.”

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

5 days later

It was a Saturday night and Natasha had practically forced you to not go into work.

Usually, you would go into the office on Saturdays, despite having the day off, to get some extra work out of the way, but your girlfriend was extremely persistent.

So now, here you two were, getting ready to go out for a date night. You had to admit that this was a good idea.

You couldn’t remember the last time you and Nat had gone out on a date; it was a rarity with how busy you both would be majority of the time.

You walked out of the bathroom after brushing out your hair, your heart racing at the sight of your girlfriend clad in a simple black body-con dress that hugged her curves in all the right places paired with a cute, black blazer.

She straightened her hair and did her makeup just the way you liked it.

You stalked over to the woman who stood in front of the full-body length mirror, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind and placing a soft kiss onto her cheek.

“You look gorgeous, baby. I’m so lucky.” Your eyes raked over her figure through the reflection of the mirror before meeting her green ones.

“Thank you, but I’m the lucky one. I swear, if we didn’t have reservations, I’d rip your clothes off and take you right here.”

Natasha’s voice came out husky when you kissed the side of her neck. You sucked on her skin lightly and went to leave a mark, but the Russian turned around in your embrace.

“No marks, not until after dinner at least.” You let out a small whine, pulling her front against yours tightly.

“Oh come on! It’s not like we haven’t ditched our reservations for dinner before. I miss you.”

You tried to go for her neck again, but she flicked your forehead. You stared at her with a look that screamed ‘what the fuck was that for?’

“Don’t give me that look. I’ve been looking forward to having a date night for months. We aren’t missing this. Let’s go.”

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

Two hours later

Natasha had taken you to one of the best restaurants in New York. You weren’t one for fancy places, you were more of a ‘let’s order takeout and watch tv’ kind of gal, but Natasha absolutely loved luxurious dining experiences.

When you both arrived, the waited immediately escorted you both to the most private table in the house.

The table was set with candles and rose petals were spread across the tablecloth. You were blown away, seeing as the table overlooked the city.

Natasha pulled your seat back for you, placing a soft kiss on her cheek as you sat down. You watched as she rounded the table and sat in the chair across from you.

Her skin was golden as the candlelight brightened up her face, accentuating her green eyes beautifully. She had a cheeky smile on her face and wiggled her eyebrows at you before looking at the menu.

Of course, the redhead ordered the best wine the restaurant had to offer, immediately asking for a bottle of the alcohol.

You two talked about anything and everything over the course of the dinner. You had to admit, this was probably one of the best dates you guys had ever been on, besides your first one, at least.

As you both finished off your meals and were given the check, you noticed that Natasha couldn’t seem to sit still.

She was tapping her fingers against the table anxiously as she gnawed on her bottom lip. You placed your hand on top of hers, stopping the insistent movement.

“Is everything okay, baby?” You asked in concern. It was really unlike Natasha to be nervous, especially during date night.

She was usually relaxed and content whenever you both had time to spend out together.

The redhead sent you a reassuring smile and flipped her hand over, intertwining your fingers before bringing your conjoined hands up to her lips, kissing the back of your hand.

“Never better, hon. Come on, there’s somewhere I want to take you.”

Natasha placed her credit card into the bill holder and waved down a waiter and shortly after, you both walked out into the cool New York air, hand-in-hand.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

Your eyes lit up when you noticed where your next destination was; Central Park.

You had always loved the park. There was something so beautiful about the scenery and the usual liveliness of the area that brought you so much peace and comfort.

Natasha led you towards a pond that was located in the heart of the park and you immediately recognized which one it was.

The redhead stopped in her tracks on top of the tiny bridge that hovered over the pond.

“Do you remember this spot?” She asked you as she turned around to face you, hand still linked with yours.

“How could I forget? You took me here on our very first date to feed the ducks, which completely backfired.” You let out a laugh at the memory, Natasha’s cheeks turning red.

“I wouldn’t say it backfired…” The redhead mumbled shyly which only made you laugh harder.

“Honey, you ended up getting attacked by pigeons because you were holding the bread. You walked me home covered in bird shit and your clothes were absolutely torn apart.”

You were practically crying from your laughter and you felt Natasha’s hand heating up in yours.

“It wasn’t funny! I really liked that outfit.” Natasha pouted as your laughter died down.

You placed a kiss onto her pouty lips, her frown quickly replaced with a bright smile.

“Anyway, I took you here because this is where our first date was which obviously resulted in us dating.”

You nodded your head at her words, deciding to remain silent when you noticed she had more to add.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“And, well… this is where I want our last date, as girlfriends, to be.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You felt your heart sink at her words. Was she breaking up with you right now? It didn’t make any sense! She didn’t ever show any indication that she was unhappy or wanted to leave you.

However, before you could completely break down, Natasha let out a shaky breath, and it was then that you noticed how shaky her hands were.

“Y/N, All my life, I never thought that I’d find love. After all of the things that the Red Room had taught me and forced me to do, I never believed that love was in the cards for me, but then I met you, and everything changed.”

You stared at Natasha curiously. This definitely didn’t sound like a breakup. So what was she going on about?

“I never ever thought that one day, I’d find someone that I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. I never thought that I’d ever want to buy a house and build a family with another person, but god, I’m so fucking happy that I was wrong.”

Your eyes watered when the gravity of the situation finally sunk in. Your thoughts were confirmed as Natasha let go of your hand and slowly bent down on one knee in front of you, reaching her hand into her blazer pocket, revealing the small velvet red box that had been tucked away in the material.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Baby, these last five years have been the best years I’ve ever had, and it was all because of you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Your hands flew up to your mouth as a gasp escaped your lips. There were tears in your eyes as she revealed a gorgeous engagement ring to you.

“Y/N, I want you, every day, for the rest of my life. Will you make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me?”

Natasha’s voice was unstable as she tried to hold back her emotions, but that went out the window when you frantically nodded your head in agreement.

“Yes!” You whispered out in shock. Natasha looked up at you with a wide smile.

“Yeah?” The redhead asked for confirmation and you let out a small chuckle.

“Yes, of course, I’ll marry you! Is that even a question?” Natasha grabbed your left hand shakily and slid the ring onto your finger.

You were both crying at this point. You didn’t care that you were both stood in the freezing cold, in the middle of Central Park.

All that mattered was that this was going to be the beginning of the rest of your life with the woman you loved.

Suddenly, Natasha stood up and picked you up by the waist, twirling you both around.

Honestly, you were surprised she didn’t stumble, considering the fact that she was wearing such high heels. Luckily for you though, she didn’t fall.

You were both laughing like maniacs when she finally stopped spinning. You were like two teenagers in love without a care in the world.

You leaned down, still in her arms, and kissed her passionately.

You could feel all the love and adoration she had for you through the kiss and you prayed to God that she could feel just how much you felt for her too.

When Natasha disconnected the kiss, she placed you gently onto the floor, your arms immediately going around her neck, hers securing themselves around your waist.

“We’re getting married?” She asked in disbelief. Natasha genuinely couldn’t believe that you said yes, even if you never gave her any indication that you would say no.

“We’re getting married.” You reassured her, kissing the tip of her nose, practically melting as her nose scrunched up adorably.

This definitely wasn’t what you expected the night to be like, but you wouldn’t change any detail about it for the world.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You were going to be Y/N L/N-Romanoff.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And that was a name you were going to carry around proudly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[sacredsorceress]

Milestone || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

summary: a journey through some of the biggest milestones in yours and bucky’s relationship from the day you first met to sharing a home of your own

a/n: in this we’re gonna pretend that bucky didn’t get dusted! also reader has powers similar to those of wanda’s. reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: none, fluff

masterlist || request || taglist

The First Time You Met

Running down the hallway of the airport, you watched as Peter was swept off of his feet and into the air by none other than Falcon, leaving the man you recognized as the Winter Soldier in your midst. Your shoes squeaking against the floor as you stopped short, you threw your arms into the air, stopping the man from moving.

Snapping his attention towards you, he furrowed his eyebrows and you could feel him fighting against your magic. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried your hardest to keep him contained but with only so much experience, he broke through it in a minute, coming for you straight after.

“Shit.” You cursed to yourself, watching as he strode over to you.

Clasping your hands together before pulling them apart, you created a baton of sorts in just enough time to hold it in front of yourself as Bucky cornered you into a wall. Pushing him back with the beam, you grunted, trying your hardest to keep the magic from dying out.

“You’re not very good at this.” He commented, attempting to pull the magical beam from your hands.

“I’m...” You grunted. “.... new.”

Using all of your force, you shoved him back. Taking the first opportunity you saw, you began shooting blasts of magic at him while he stumbled backwards. Attempting to dodge the blasts, he moved forward, putting his hands in the air.

“Look,” He said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Watching as he stumbled backwards, closer to a ledge, you halted the blasts, tilting your head sideways.

“Lucky me.”

As soon as the words fell from your mouth, you used the rest of your force, swinging your arms backwards and then pushing forward to shove him through the railing and over the edge, his eyes wide as he fell backwards. When he fell, he took the Falcon with him. 

Glancing up above, you saw Peter, shooting a web to hold the two men to the ground. Feeling the energy in your palms, you floated down to the floor they were held to, standing above them.

“Look guys, I would love to keep this up but I’ve only got one job here today and I’ve gotta impress Mr. Stark, so I’m really sorry-” You watched as the drone took Peter’s web and pulled him through the window cutting him short, Peter screaming as it did.

Turning back to the men, you pulled the hood of your cloak over your head.

“Don’t worry about the drone thing,” You said. “I know when to see myself out.”

Turning to make your way towards the exit of the airport, you heard Bucky call from behind you.

“Hey!” He shouted. “Who are you?”

Bucky didn’t know why he was asking. He could barely even remember facts about himself, never mind keep track of every super human person he came across, but there was something nagging in his mind, begging him to learn more.

Glancing over your shoulder, looking at the Winter Soldier one last time, you smirked.

“Y/n.”

And with that you left the airport.

First Touch

The hatch to the ship opening, you stumbled down the steps, gripping Nebula’s arm to keep your balance. As Steve took hold of Tony, Pepper rushing to his side, you looked up to find the familiar face of Rhodey making his way towards you.

“I chose the wrong day to go see who Dr. Strange was.” You chuckled somberly, trying to make light of the situation.

Grabbing your arm to steady you as you slowly walked down the steps, Rhodey shook his head.

“The fight wasn't much better back here.” He said. “At least we had oxygen though. You’re not looking so good, kid.”

Too afraid to have looked at your deteriorating reflection the past three weeks, you knew he was being too kind.

It had been nearly three weeks since Thanos snapped away a half of the universe’s population, leaving you, Tony and Nebula stranded in space. You had run out of fuel weeks ago and had nearly lost hope of ever returning home as the oxygen supply began dwindling until Captain Marvel had found your ship and brought you all safely back to the Avengers Compound.

Despite being back, three weeks in space had left you exhausted, starving and dehydrated- just to name a few.

Biting back the dizziness you felt, you sighed.

“I’m- I’m fine, Rhodes.” You said, beginning to feel lightheaded. “It’s nothing-”

Missing your footing on the step, you tripped, losing your balance from Rhodey, about to hit the ground until you felt an arm wrap around your torso and the cool touch of metal grasp your hand. Looking up, you were met with the familiar face of the man you had fought two years ago at the airport in Germany, his hair cut shorter since the last time you had seen him, but recognizable nonetheless.

“Bucky Barnes?” You asked, standing up straighter with his assistance.

“Y/n.” He replied, shooting you a gentle smile.

Although you had what many would consider super-human abilities with your magic, due to being discovered after the civil war between the Avengers that had effectively split up the group- you weren't used to being recognized. Hearing your name fall from his lips felt somewhat gratifying.

“You remember my name?” You asked in disbelief

“Hard to forget the name of the woman who kicked my ass.” Bucky chuckled, helping you walk towards the doors of the Compound. “Doesn't happen often.”

For the first time in weeks you allowed yourself to smile as you gazed up at the man holding you steady, making sure you didn’t fall. When his blue eyes met yours, you adverted your gaze, turning your attention towards Natasha who wheeled a wheelchair through the doors of the Compound and towards the two of you.

Moving his flesh hand to rest on your lower back, his vibranium one still in yours, he helped you slowly ease into the chair. When you sat back in the chair, resting your feet on the footrests, you looked up at the super soldier and smiled.

“Not looking for a rematch are you?” You asked, slipping your hand out of his and resting it on your abdomen. “‘Cause I think I’m gonna need a raincheck.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he laughed shaking his head.

“No, I think I’m done with fighting.” He said.

Feeling Natasha pulling back on the wheelchair, about to spin your chair around and towards the doors, you threw him one last smile.

“That makes two of us.”

Just when Bucky was about to turn around and walk away as Nat wheeled you through the doors, the chair stopped and he watched as you glanced over your shoulder.

“And Sarge?” You called.

“Yeah?”

“I like the new arm.”

For the first time in decades, Bucky felt heat rise to his cheeks as he watched you tiredly speak to Natasha until you left his line of sight.

First Kiss

It had taken you nearly a month to recover from your time in space since returning back to Earth. Although you understood that there wasn’t much to be done since Thanos had wiped out half of the universe, you still felt guilty taking up space in the Compound when all you would do was lay in bed, attached to an IV. 

The one thing that made your time on bedrest a little more bearable was none other than Bucky Barnes.

Throughout your stay in bed he had consistently visited you. Though at first he was a bit shy, you had proven to be someone he could trust- assuring him that he could never be a bother to you and that you genuinely enjoyed having his company- maybe a bit too much, but you would never tell him that.

Bucky himself was surprised that he had put himself so out there with you after living such a solitary life for nearly the past 80 years, but there was just something about you that drew him to you time and time again. He couldn’t pinpoint it- whether it was your kindness, humor or intelligence- he found both joy and peace in your presence- something he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be in.

So, despite the voice in the back of his head telling him that you didn’t want to see him, he had visited you while you got better in bed, taking care of you in the littlest of ways until he watched the dark circles under your eyes fade away and your ability to walk without his assistance return.

Finally feeling somewhat better, you had insisted to bucky that you were ready to train again and no matter how many times he tried to convince you that you weren’t, he could never say no once you squeezed his hand and pouted up at him.

He was regretting not saying no to you as he now stood across from you in the training room.

“Y/n, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” He said, watching you sway in your spot despite your feet being planted to the mat.

“C’mon Barnes,” You taunted, raising your hands. “You scared?”

Just as he was about to open his mouth again, you shot a blast of magic towards him, Bucky dodging it just as it whooshed past his head.

“I wasn’t even ready!” Bucky exclaimed.

Shrugging your shoulders you formed another beam made of magic, holding either ends of it with your hands as Bucky came towards you.

Trying to plant your feet to the ground, feeling another hit of dizziness wash over you, you pushed him back with the beam, but before you could do anything more, his leg swept under yours, making you lose your balance. 

Before you fell to the ground, however, the magic in your hands diminished as you gripped your hands into Bucky’s shirt bringing him down with you.

Flipping over before you fell, you landed on top of the super soldier, your hands planted firmly on his chest. With his hands above his head that was inches away from yours, you both stared at each other- you finally noticing just how much you liked the scruff that coated his jawline and him admiring the color of your eyes and how he swore he could lose himself in them if only he had the chance.

Opening your mouth, you felt the thumping of Bucky’s heart against your fingertips that were resting on his chest as he gazed up at you.

“Your heart is beating really fast.” You whispered, out of breath despite you barely having trained.

“Yeah, it does that when I see you.”

You could barely believe what you were hearing until you felt Bucky’s hands come up and cup your face, glancing down at your lips before back to your eyes, asking wordlessly for your approval. 

Unable to form a coherent sentence, you eagerly nodded back at him.

Before you could even process it, you felt Bucky’s lips meeting yours as he pulled you into a kiss, his hands moving from cupping your face to wrapping around your body, pulling you tight against him. All you could remember thinking was that despite his tough exterior, his lips were soft and you could lose yourself in the comfort of having his arms around you all day if he let you.

Pulling away first, a beaming smile spread across Bucky’s face as he rubbed circles against your back.

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad,” He teased. “You could’ve just asked.”

First “I Love You”

Sitting on the edge of the rooftop, your legs swinging in the air, you offered the bag of popcorn in your hand to your boyfriend who was sat beside you. Taking his eyes off of the view in front of him, he grabbed a fistful of the salty treat from the bag, popping it in his mouth.

“Did you have stuff like this back in the olden times?” You asked, laying your head on his shoulder.

“What?” He asked despite his mouth being full. “You mean fireworks? How old do you think I am?”

Laughing at how he mocked offense over your question, you sat up straight, pecking his cheek.

“One hundred doesn’t sound much better, babe.”

Rolling his eyes, knowing that you loved him anyway, he brushed off the remaining salt from his fingertips, wrapping his vibranium arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

Just as he pressed a gentle kiss against your temple, he jumped in his spot as he heard the loud sound of the first firework shooting up into the air over the water before “popping” and bursting into an array of color.

“Look!” You exclaimed, pointing towards the display. “It’s starting!”

Although he took a quick glance at the firework display, his attention was purely focused on you. He couldn’t help but admire the way the colorful lights reflected on your skin or how you had a hint of an open smile on your face watching as the fireworks burst midair. No show could compare to looking at you.

He couldn't help but feel his heart race in his chest, breath caught in his throat as he admired your beauty- even when you were still in your suit from watching over the parade with him earlier that evening. He was convinced there wasn’t a single thing about you that he wasn’t completely enamored with and you only gave him more reasons to love you every single day.

Before he even realized what he was saying, admiring you in complete bliss and utter awe, the words slipped out of his mouth.

“I love you.”

He thought you wouldn’t be able to hear, the sound of another firework popping ringing in his ear, but when you turned towards him, your eyes wide and mouth agape, he knew you had.

“Did you just say that you love me?” You asked, fireworks continuing to burst behind you.

Not one to lie- especially not to you- he nodded his head.

“Yeah.”

A smile beginning to form on your face, you grabbed the strap on his jacket, pulling him closer to you.

“I love you too.”

Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his, the sound of the finale of the display ringing behind you as the fireworks burst one after another in air, every color imaginable washing over your joined figures sitting on the edge of the rooftop on that cool summer night, almost as if it were taking the feeling shared between the two of you and bringing it to life for the world to see.

First Home

“Okay!” You nodded, pointing to the corner of your living room. “That one can go over there. Thank you so much for your help, Steve.”

“I helped Buck move into his first apartment, Y/n.” Steve said wiping his hands on his pants. “I wouldn’t miss stuff like this for anything.”

Smiling at Steve’s comment, you felt Bucky’s vibranium hand land on your lower back, pulling you closer. Leaning into his touch, you wrapped your arm around him in return, staring up at your boyfriend.

“Yeah and the first time he was about a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter.” Bucky chuckled. “This is easy for him.”

Watching Natasha set down the last box on top of a pile of the others in the kitchen, you excused yourself from your boyfriend and his best friend, making your way into the other room.

When you had left the two of them’s earshot, Bucky watching as you left, Steve rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“You know,” Steve said. “I’m happy for you, Buck. I think this is gonna be good for you.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s comment- despite how cheesy it was- because he knew it was true.

When Bucky’s memory had finally been cleared, a part of him had always feared that even though he had been given a new chance at life, he would never have a normal one. Although he knew “normal” was a strong term for the life you two shared together given that he was a century old super soldier and you had magical abilities- you had given him a chance at a peaceful life full of love and contentment which was all he could ever dream of asking for. 

The idea of finding love and having a family was something that he worried was left eighty years in the past, but you proved to him that life didn’t end for him when he fell from that train- if anything it brought him the beginning he had always hoped for.

“Sure you won’t miss me too bad, pal?” Bucky asked.

Taking his hand back from Bucky’s shoulder, Steve laughed shoving his hand in his pockets.

“No, I think I’m used to it by now.” Steve chuckled. “It’s just like you to be able to find a woman with shared life experience even when half the world disappears.”

Shaking his head at his friend’s joke, he shoved him playfully.

“C’mon, ya’know this is different.” Bucky said. “I think this is the last one for me.”

Without missing a beat, Steve smiled.

“I know.”

Hearing the sound of you and Natasha’s footsteps stepping back into the room, Bucky kept his mouth shut, feeling your hand run over his shoulder as you stood beside him.

“Don’t forget about me now that you have your own place, okay Y/n?” Nat said crossing her arms.

“Don’t worry.” You told her. “I’ll come visit every day.”

“Well, not every day-” Bucky interjected.

“No. I meant what I said. Every day, Nat. You’ll wish you never said anything.”

Once the laughter that had erupted in the room settled, Steve and Nat said their goodbyes to you and your boyfriend, you both waving them off as you shut the door behind them. When the door was shut and you and Bucky were left in your new apartment alone together, you rushed over to your bag by the door, pulling a neatly wrapped gift out of it.

“What’s this?” Bucky asked as you handed him the present.

“Just a little housewarming gift.” You smiled.

Gazing at your smiling face, a smile finding its way onto his, he looked down at the present in his hands, carefully tearing the paper off of the gift to reveal a framed photo of the two of you.

A framed photo of the two of you fighting in an airport three years ago on the day you first met.

“So, Tony had put a camera in Peter’s suit back before we went and fought you guys.” You explained. “And I thought it had to be gone since Peter was... you know... but it turned out that Tony still had the footage so I was able to find some from that day at the airport and in it there was this quick little shot of us fighting and I just had to have it, Buck.”

Flipping the frame around at you, he raised his eyebrows.

“A photo of us fighting?”

“Yes!” You told him. “Do you like it?”

Despite the fact that it was a photo of the two of you fighting- a fight that he had gotten his ass kicked in no less- he loved it more than anything else you could have possibly given him because it was the day he met you. It was the day his life changed and he didn’t even know it in the moment.

Although your story was far from “normal” it was your story and that’s what mattered the most to him.

“I love it, doll.” He said, pulling you into his embrace. “This is a crazy story to tell our kids though, huh?”

“All of them are.” You laughed into his chest. “But I wouldn't have it any other way, Buck. I love you.”

Pressing a kiss to the top of your head, a photograph of the day your story first began in his hand, he smiled.

“I love you too.”

[nn1895]

AU August Fic 13

Reboot/Refresh

The enforcer burst into the salon like a full police raid and the technicians scattered.  He wore the official Enforcer paint and the decals - those would be a pain to scrub around if he was here for a full wash and wax - and like all enforcers, he wore a thunderous scowl.

Jazz sighed and stood up from the check-in counter.  It was late and he had a gig to get to in two hours because he was an idiot trying to work two jobs while studying for his PI license.

“Hello,” he droned, “welcome to Fix-it’s Fixes.  What can I help you with today?  Would you like to know our rates for a -”

“I want a full frame repaint,” he interrupted.  His voice was hoarse and low, less pushy enforcer looking for discounts and more exhausted bot after a long day.  

“Sorry, all full frame repaints need to be scheduled in advance.  We can give you a standard package this evening and tomorrow -”

“How long does it take?  To remove and repaint?” he interrupted again.  Jazz brightened his patented ‘dealing with afts’ smile.

“It would take a full two hours for us to paint and dry you and that’s not even considering the color and design consultation.”

“How long just for paint removal?”

Jazz blinked.

“Just under a half an hour, but if we don’t paint you, you’ll be walking around in your bare metal until tomorrow.”

Something complicated and familiar crossed over the Enforcer’s expression: shame, grief, a touch of anger.

“Then just take it off,” the enforcer said, stiffly.  “I’ll pay full price.  I need this paint off.”  

To his right, some of the technicians were stepping back out - most of them were cleaning up their workstations this late - and watching the pair of them surreptitiously.  

“Mech, I can’t advise that -”

“Then I will pay double.”

Oh, this was bad.  This was like that time four very overcharged bots came in and his supervisor made him give in to their demands of “neon flames and etchings all around!” and then they’d tried to sue.

“I don’t think -”

“If you don’t help me,” the Enforcer said, lowly, “then I am going to go buy one of those home-paint kits and melt half my plating off.  I am not good at this.  Please.”

The please got him.  Fraggit.

“Okay,” Jazz heard himself saying.  He saw Coppercoil out of the corner of his optic slamming her servo to her face.  Frankly, he agreed.

“I’ll take you back, it might take a moment for the paint blaster to turn back on, though.  Hey - Iridescent!  Take over here, okay?”  The mech nodded and the permanent halo of reflected rainbow light bobbed.

“This way.”  Jazz motioned the enforcer to follow him and slipped into the back.  He pointed to the lockers on one wall and then to a low bench in the middle of the room.

“You can put your stuff in there - mods, stickers, ornaments - and then have a seat on the bench.  I’m going to need to tape you up so the sand doesn’t get everywhere,” he said as he grabbed the spool of white electrical tape off the wall.

“Please be careful of my left doorwing, I smashed it last week and the welds are still setting.”  Jazz peered down at it and winced at the sloppy network of welds and staples.

“Ouch, what happened mech?”

“I was in Iacon when the Primal Ship was attacked.  I was treated in the tents before I continued my investigation and the gap between the field triage and being brought to the hospital allowed an infection to set in,” he intoned flatly, as if Jazz couldn’t see the scars from how many anti-vials had been slammed into his helm, probably in a desperate bid to keep him from overheating.

“Damn mech, that’s rough. You were investigating it?  I heard that -”  Jazz stopped and tried to remember.  “Oh, hey!”  Something clicked.  “I know you - you’re the bot they called Shadow, aren’t you?  You broke - Primus, so many cases.  You -”

Oh.

The mech kept his optics fixed on the lockers across from them.

“I was engaged upon the case investigating Lord Sentinel Primes’s murder.  When I declined their offer of an easy wrap-up I was demoted.  I resigned this morning.”

Jazz had read about it in the papers.  Officer Prowl accused of evidence tampering.  No one had believed it - it was too out of the blue, too convenient, and too neatly done.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure there is no love lost between you and the Enforcers.  We - they - are not well liked.”  Now there was a pressure pot fit to boil dry.

“Nah, too much corruption in Polyhex and nearly as much here in Praxus.  We all followed ya cases, though.  My twin - Ricochet - got caught up in the money laundering scheme a few years back.”  It was easier to talk about nowadays, with Ricochet working an honest job with Carrier to keep an eye on him.  “He talked about ya, said ya were a good one.”  He’d recounted a story of how Prowl had ripped into one of the officers for being rough with them and fired one on the spot for aiming a kick at Ricochet when he thought no one was looking.

“I am glad.”

Prowl still wasn’t looking at him, but the rigidity in his frame - so tight Jazz could see the stress fractures webbing out from his joints - lessened.

“Gonna start taping.  Let me know if I need to stop.”

If Jazz’s servos were a bit gentler than usual, Prowl didn’t notice.

0-0-0

Jazz gave him a wrap-around visor for his optics to keep them from getting scratched and led him into the sandblasting chamber.

“I’ll comm ya if ya need ta move or anything, okay?  Just stand wit’ ya arms out and I’ll operate the blaster.”

“Understood.”  Prowl appreciated the clear directions.  His helm had been elsewhere for the past week.  Today had been -

He put the visor on and held out his arms.  The grit of the sand was jarring, but at the same time, it felt good.  Like he was pulling off a mask he’d been wearing for too long.

With every pass of the sandblaster, Prowl relaxed.  He looked down to watch as the strips of gold peeled away from his chestplate and fell to the ground in ragged curls.

He’d been so certain that the strange pressure in his spark would be eased by becoming an Enforcer.  Finally somewhere for the love and the anger to go instead of spinning inside him.

He wanted - he wanted to wrap himself around everyone and keep them safe against his spark.  He’d thought that’s what enforcers did.

The intricate lines on his servos had been blasted away.  

He’d never write another report again.  Never search through the stacks for just the right file to solve a case.  He’d probably never see his coworkers again either.

He’d ripped his decal off after stepping out of the station for the last the time.

The last time.

The sandblaster softened the edges of the blank patch and then erased it all together.  

By the time his pedes were bare, gray metal, Prowl was well into a panic.

Not an enforcer.  If he wasn’t an enforcer, what was he?  What was he going to do?  He didn’t have a job anymore.  He had nowhere to belong now.

What was he going to do?

0-0-0

Jazz opened the door, and half caught the trembling mech.

“I gotcha, Prowler.  You’ll be alright.”  The plating against his chest was gritty with sand - he could feel it scratching his own paint away - but he just held him as tightly as he needed.

Eventually, Prowl pulled away.

“Thank you.  I will be on my way now.  According to the time, you’ve been closed for twenty minutes already -”  He took a step forwards and stopped when Jazz put a servo on his chest.

“It’s already late and I can’t let ya leave the store wit’ out somethin’.  Lemme give you a quick paint, mech.  You can come back for a polish tomorrow.”

“I do not even know what paint I would choose,” he argued.  “It’s not something I thought about in…forty-five vorns?  I think?”

“Do ya trust me?” Jazz asked, only half teasing.  He wanted to do something for this mech who had tried so hard to fix the system for all of them.

Prowl flinched.  “I trust no one,” he said lowly.  “But I doubt anything you do will harm me now.”  

Jazz heard the unsaid “nothing can harm me now” and winced.

“Don’t worry, mech.  I’ll take care of ya.”

Jazz picked up the sprayer and three cans of paint.

0-0-0

Prowl stared down at himself.

The colors had been switched around, the lines moved so they didn’t match the enforcer’s patterns anymore.  Jazz had pulled the black back and removed the accent colors.  Along each edge he had painted a swirling, spiky pattern, less like the ever popular (and overdone) flames and more like a thorny crystal vine.

It was small enough to be subtle, but not so small as to go unnoticed.  Jazz wanted him to have something he’d be proud to show off after having to give up his enforcer paint.

“It is…more than I could have hoped for,” Prowl said at last.

“I’m glad.”  Jazz smiled and leaned back, one servo on his hip.  “But ya gotta show it off, mech.  Wanna meet me for lunch tomorrow?  Burst-Over’s cafe on 2nd Street?”

Prowl looked up quickly, optics wide.

“I - “ he started.  Then he just nodded.  “I find myself at a loss and soon, with too much free time on my hands.”

“Oh?”  The inkling of an idea was twirling in the back of Jazz’s processor.  “Mech, have you ever considered private investigating?”

[thoughtsinblue]

Walking Fast and Slow

I've always been one to walk fast. And, looking back at my life, it's rather easy for me to say that that's how it's always been. Maybe it's because I'd perpetually be late to school, or maybe it's because of another reason that I can't quite put my finger on. By all means, it wasn't even until a few hours ago that I consciously realized that that was the case.

It was 7 p.m., a fine Saturday evening. I'd just exited out of a café and although I'd just had a Kouign-Amann and some coffee, I still felt as if I had room for more. I usually have dinner around 7:30 p.m. and so, I decided to make my way towards a restaurant. I opened up Google Maps and selected a fine establishment. It was about 2 km away from where I was. Now, I was in no hurry as I had no one waiting for me at home, and so, as I had this seemingly infinite amount of time on my hands, I decided to walk all the way. (I also secretly hoped that it'd make me feel just a bit better about being such a glutton.)

I put on my earphones, selected a playlist and started walking. As I walked, thoughts started flooding my mind. Now, I have, for a long time, thought of walking as a tool to clear thoughts, but more often than not, this influx of thoughts becomes chaotic. The thoughts come and go, are overlapped, and sometimes they break off, and all of this happens at a rate that is too dizzying for me to keep up with. Most days, this ends with me being completely overwhelmed and exhausted. Today seemed just like one of those days. But then, out of nowhere, an inescapable thought struck me: "Why is it that I always find myself hurrying? Why can’t I just take in all that is around me? I would most definitely benefit from walking slowly.”

And so I did. Well, kind of. As I’ve said before, I've always walked fast, and now that I was trying to slow down, I couldn't. I'd take a few slow steps, but then find myself picking the pace up again. This happened for a while until I finally got the hang of it. I wasn't prepared for what came next. I was quite literally going against my own nature, and so it was rather difficult for me to slow down, but once I did do so, I realized that my thoughts had slowed down too. They weren't zooming past me at the speed of light, instead, they remained long enough for me to pay attention to them. And not only had the thoughts slowed down, but also, the surrounding lights seemed to get brighter. Suddenly, things around me were not a blur, every car that sped ahead on the street besides me had a distinct sound, I was taking in the faces of the strangers around me, most of them moved past me, however their perfumes lingered just a moment longer.

After dinner, I headed towards the sea. I sat down on top of the raised platform that hugs the coast. As I was beginning to put my earphones away, I was greeted by a stray cat. Although I didn't notice her at first, she introduced herself when she started playing with my messenger bag. Needless to say, the cat made her way to me as soon as I pulled the bag into my lap. After a short introduction, she sat down next to me. Her constant purr relaxed me even further to the point where I no longer had anything on my mind. The people around me faded into the background and then, it was just me, the cat and the sound of the waves. The salty breeze against my skin suddenly made me feel at home. I reflected on what I had learnt and now that I think of it, I might have thought a few things out loud as if the cat could understand me just fine.

I do not know how long I sat there listening to the sound of the waves, but when I finally decided to leave, I crossed the street and suddenly, I turned back to take a picture of the cat, but she had left too. I saw her walking, slowly, as if she were reminding me to do the same.

[lovelybarnes]

verbena- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, mentions of other avengers warnings: none. this is all fluff about: y/n gives bucky flowers a/n: thank you to @hollandsvogue for the flower help!!

the smell of the verbenas in your hands wafts up to your nose while you jam your key into the lock of your apartment, grip tightening on the bouquet of gentle flowers. your dirty combat boots leave a small smear of dirt in the bottom of your door, even after you wipe them on the cheesy doormat sam gifted you when you moved in. you’re relatively clean for the hours after a mission, but the dirt and splatters of red that stain your suit and the stray twigs that reside in the messy strands of your hair show that it wasn’t a clean-cut undercover op. you prefer it; those types of missions, as clean as you come out of them, seem so much dirtier.

you push the door open with your hip, the gash on the palm of the hand that isn’t holding the assortment of flowers too angry and velvet to touch the cold of the doorknob. “hey, handsome,” you greet when you kick the door closed, walking towards the couch that your boyfriend is sitting on, watching one of the television shows you’ve referenced before.

“hey, doll,” he murmurs tiredly, his eyes clearly having just opened from a nap, but the pull of his cheeks as he smiles at you is bright. from his lap, alpine purrs, looking up at you and blinking as a hello. you lean over the couch to press a soft kiss on bucky’s forehead when he tilts his head at you. at the sound of alpine’s meow, you laugh, turning to her. bucky’s hand begins to pet her again, “she wants you to say hi to her, too.”

“i will,” you promise her, “but she’s very clean and white right now. the dirt on my hands will not go with her fur.” alpine meows again, almost in agreement as she settles back in bucky’s lap.

“how was the mission?” he asks, turning to you as you walk into the kitchen.

“it was a mission,” you hum, catching the reflection of the twigs in your hair in the microwave. you begin to pick at them with your free hand.

“what’s that?” bucky asks, eyes settling on the flowers in your hand. the sound of the cupboard when you open it leads alpine off of bucky’s lap to wander around the kitchen and stare at you. you look down at the bouquet, startling when you look back up and bucky is nearly in front of you.

“you’re sneaky today,” you inform, tiredness seeping into your words when you finally let it in the comfort of bucky’s eyes, “or maybe i’m just tired.” he scans you worriedly. “these,” you extend the flowers toward him, “are for you. i saw the flower shop selling them fresh when i was coming back home and i know they’re your favorite, so…” you offer them to him. “you always get me my favorite flowers after my missions, and i know you like verbenas, so…” you trail off again, beginning to feel nervous and foolish when bucky won’t react.

suddenly, he exhales quietly, shaking his head gently with a big grin adorning his face. he takes his flowers from you, tucking his nose between the petals to inhale. “thank you,” he tells you, pulling you in closer to kiss your nose.

you scrunch it up, “i’m all dirty,” you warn.

“i don’t care,” he replies flatly, kissing you again, “thank you. i love them.” he smells them again, before pulling one out as gently as you’ve ever seen anyone handle a flower before to place it behind your ear. he gazes at you for a few seconds before hugging his flowers to his chest, “i need a vase.” he announces, “where do we keep our fancy vases?”

-

a few days later, your apartment is warm with laughter and avengers, your friends sitting around your living room and kitchen.

“...and that’s how i found out steve wears captain america underwear. he wears my face on his ass,” sam chortles, making steve groan loudly, his pale cheeks warming with a sweet pink as he blushes.

“one time!” he says, “one time i ran out!”

“uh huh, then why were they in there in the first place?” natasha asks with a raised eyebrow, a wine glass pressed to her lips and her green eyes twinkling as she sits on the couch, alpine resting on her legs.

“i-” steve’s face contorts in thought, “gag gift. ‘had to be.”

you and bucky laugh again, unconsciously leaning into each other, “that’s nothing--” clint begins, settling his stare on tony, “last week, i saw tony step out of his suit naked--”

the avengers part into groups, those who want to have something on tony, and those who have enough. natasha and maria form their own where they talk about how exhausting it is to be the most mature in a room full of gods and ancient beings.

“nice flowers,” sam comments, eyeing the verbenas bucky put in the fanciest vase you guys have. “when’d you get them?”

“a day or two ago, i saw them in that cute little flower shop when i was coming back from a mission,” you reply. “i remembered verbenas are bucky’s favorite flower.”

steve nods, “his ma used to plant them every spring; daisies, forget-me-nots, and verbenas were always planted outside of the barnes household.”

you turn to look at your boyfriend, catching the pretty recognition in his eyes.

“so you just get them for him after each mission?” sam wonders after a econd, looking at you with his brows furrowed.

you nod, “there’s usually at least one bouquet with the ones he likes, so i get him one of them. why?”

sam’s shoulders raise, “i just think that’s interesting. ‘cuz i told you last week how much i liked orchids and i went on a mission two days ago.”

your lips curl into a grin, “i promise to bring you orchids from now on.” you offer him your pinky, wrapping it around his.

a day after everyone leaves, you and bucky begin to work on a small garden on your balcony, making sure to plant every single favorite flower of the avengers, as well as the same flowers bucky’s mother would plant-- right outside the apartment window so bucky would see them each morning.