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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 7 months

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⚠️🧵A lot of men are suicidal & don’t realise it because they sit with something known as “passive suicidal ideation' so, let’s talk about it, and some of its relatives. Please look after yourself whilst reading this thread & don't leave judgemental comments...

It’s important to say that suicidal thoughts in themselves are not normal for every man but they *can* be a normal reaction to severe life stressors/trauma, especially with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) or other traumatic experiences in adolescence.

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/aces-and-toxic-stress-frequently-asked-questions/

Suicidal thoughts can be similar to a 'sense of foreshortened future' (born from trauma) This is where you don’t plan much in advance (a few weeks etc) because, subconsciously, you don’t believe/trust in making future plans or think you'll be alive.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4166378/

There's also “l’appel due vide” (‘call of the void’) & “high place phenomenon” where you get that sudden urge to jump off a high place or crash your car. This isn’t a suicidal thought & scientists believe it’s a safety “miscommunication” from our brains.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032711006847#:~:text=The%20experience%20of%20a%20sudden

Passive suicidal ideation is the wish of ‘not waking up’, a terminal illness to ‘make the decision for you’ or decreased risk aversion; the acknowledgement that you don’t want to ‘be here’ (alive) without having a plan or intent to carry out your thoughts.

https://happiful.com/what-is-passive-suicidal-ideation

Passive (not the same as intentional) suicidal ideation can (potentially) offer some comfort during times of distress because it offers you (psychologically) a ‘way out’ when you feel you have no good options or choices left to a several life stressor or trauma.

"The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

The problem with passive ideation is that many men will minimise & dismiss their experience because they wrongly believe that either no one else has these thoughts or that they’re ‘not bad enough’ to get help , something I call “comparative suffering”:

https://twitter.com/toniwriter/status/1639368910788018176

A lot of men will spend years coping with passive ideation but an unexpected life stressor can suddenly turn these thoughts to acute intent & action i.e a man can feel passive for years, have a relationship breakdown & within hours he's acutely suicidal & goes missing/dies.

It's important, therefore, that we first help our men to recognise their thoughts are not 'normal' to general population & that they're potentially feeling suicidal &, through non-judgemental conversation, encourage them to seek support from peers & professionals.

If we can help men acknowledge & understand their passive suicidality, especially their stressors & triggers, we can help them cope with & manage them better, whether that's through talking, medication and/or a change in life circumstances.

If we do the above when men are passively suicidal, we have a better chance of intervening & preventing their deaths if & when their ideation becomes acute, because they're comfortable talking about it & bcos their cognition might win over the acute suicidality when needed.

It's worth speaking to a med professional (GP/therapist etc) if you're passively suicidal, so that you can explore why you feel this way to try & stop or manage the thoughts but remember, there's nothing to feel ashamed about in experiencing passive SI & you can get better.

There are a great many organisations, charities & support available for the whole spectrum of your suicidal thoughts: @samaritans @theCALMzone (for men only) @GiveUsAShout @PAPYRUS_Charity @JamesPlaceUK (men only) @ChasingStigma & many more. You're not alone 🙏🏼 End

[ Archive: https://archive.md/chkKQ ]

#male suicide #suicide #suicide ideation #passive suicidal ideation #call of the void #high place phenomenon #mental health #mental health issues #religion is a mental illness

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carbonandbadtimin · 10 years

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Love after death

"My heart is beating as fast as a steam train

Trailing red smoke

Smoke rings of danger

Barrelling towards the town of love

Nestled deep in your soul

The way you look at me with those

eyes

In fifty shades of my favourite colour

Like I am your curved silver key to unlocking the most fantastical dreams that you could never have reached alone

I am the missing piece in your puzzle labelled ménage et toi

That being French for fun time

Fun time being my language for

Grab

Your

Ticket

The train to Eros is departing as soon as you stroke my face with those…

Hands.

It’s like the Goo Goo Dolls

‘and id give up forever to touch you…’

Well I’m prepared to walk on fiery coals

dripping in acid

coated with mercury

forever and back

to love you.

Love courses through my veins as if that same acid is being fed into my bloodstream

The pain numbed by LSD hallucinations of my self-image is 20% as good as yours

Pffft, as if.

When I gaze at you,

I cannot comprehend why the fuck you love me so much

That you can find someone so burned to the bone by self-consciousness

so attractive

because trust me

if I die of something

itll be my demons that’ll have the blood on their hands

scraping at me like wolves savaged by hunger

with claws like look suspiciously like razor blades

but shushhh… mummy mustn’t know

they are cat scratches

from a cat dark, blood red in colour, sixty foot tall

apparating inside the darkest corners of my mind

and dancing the salsa across the floor of emotions

trampling, kicking, shoving everything else aside

until it is tonight’s entertainment

in todays freak show

paraded around my head

winner of the ‘lets see how fucked my brain is’ award

as I stare at the blank wall

cocooned against the evil world

but not

against

my demons.

because they are bitches.

Gossiping

Slithering

Harsh words of self-hate and anxiety

Whispered in the labyrinths.

But you

You in all your glory

Race through the maze

Desperate to find the scared girl

Getting chased by the scary voices

You’ve found her

In my laugh

In my smile

In my eyes when I look at you."

#poetry #toniwrites #mine #crimsonink

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