#top 7 most powerful spells in harry potter

[amiliyatkamahar]

6 Words for Witchcraft and Black Magic and Powerful Spells

Gramarye noun : necromancy, magic, enchantment Gramarye (also spelled gramary) comes from a Middle French word meaning “book of sorcery,” but also “grammar” or “grammar book.” Though modern English speakers don’t tend to mix their grammar with their sorcery, in medieval times the Latin word grammatica (and its lexical descendants in other languages) referred to (among other things) learning in…

[sassysnowperson]

writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

~

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

[heycaricari]

Well here we go. My first ask. Tagged by the inimitable @mortifyingideal Behold, Tumblr, the inner workings of my soul...

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1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27 under this name 😬

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

476,208

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Ho boy... Ok. I am probably forgetting a few but the big ones were LOTR, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Star Trek TOS & VOY, Spooks, Silence of the Lambs, and of course Good Omens!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Top, Anthony, Silk, Saltwater, and Any Other Way.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really truly try to. When I'm in a place where I'm actively creating content and happy with what I'm putting out, responding is easy. There's nothing I want to talk about more. When I'm in one of the troughs, not so much.

The appreciation is always there though. ❤️ I love that people care about what happens to my characters. The idea of my thoughts coming alive in someone else's imagination makes me feel like an ALL POWERFUL WIZARD.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It will surprise no one to hear that I'm not a big angst writer. Ive tried but apparently I'm not a pessimist but a depressed optimist in disguise. Who knew.

Ive got a few dark chapters - especially in PL - but I think the endings make up for them.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No. I barely manage continuity in one fandom.

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes.

9. do you write smut? if so what kind?

Yes. The wholesome kind.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Not in this fandom but in one of my previous incarnations. I always used to wonder how well the Scottish idioms came across...

11. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I would love to give it a go someday. Preferably with someone who has a loose grasp of deadlines. And endless stores of patience.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

It's hard to choose. All the pairings I wrote about had a very different dynamic.

I guess, as I got older, characters like Aziraphale and Crowley became more appealing to me. (It was probably that realisation that it's easy to fall instantly and dramatically in love, but finding someone who can also be your friend, who you can trust... well, that's a whole thing).

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Cold War human spy AU. It's research heavy and pretty dark.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Output. I have periods of time (usually days but occasionally weeks) when I can churn out copy like a room full of monkeys on typewriters. I have days where everything clicks. Sentences flow. Dialogue writes itself. Dangling plot threads find one another.

My good days are really good days - so I can double down and get a lot done.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I also have really bad days. They come from nowhere and, when they do, I avoid writing out of some weird fear that I've "lost" my flow and I'll never get it back. I put off working on things for weeks and, when I finally manage to sit down, I end up picking over what I've already got rather than working on something new. I overwork and lose confidence and end up screaming into the void. It's a whole cycle.

I am also not concise. I ramble and then resist cutting on edit.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I hadn't thought about it until this moment in time.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings. Me and my sister used to write glorious (😂) epic romances which I would then type up and print off in the dead of night.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Fave multichap - "Cold". Not my most popular or polished (it's from before I met my wonderful beta) but I wrote as I posted - over the 12 days of Christmas - so I feel it's less filtered than my other work. I am really proud of some of the imagery I managed to get across. And I'd like to go back and spell-check it one day.

Fave one shot - probably New Life. It felt more real than the others. Maybe because it was from an outside POV. (Adam's).

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This was fun - thanks mort !!

[ramble-bloo]

Named after the old school mechanical method of printing previously used in comics, Ben-Day Dots, Benday University is school for protagonists. Whether you have super powers, are destined to get them, or are cursed with super powered beings latching onto you specifically, this is the place for you to attend.

WHERE IS IT LOCATED

It doesn’t exist on this planet...or even in this dimension. It’s in it’s own little pocket that has gate keepers on watch 24/7 to make sure whoever enters the school is meant to be there. The entire location from afar can best be described as a giant floating continent.

WELL HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU GET THERE THEN ROCKY?

Second ,the only way to enter the dimension from our world are specially designated Comic book stores. Not every store is a gate way of course but there are some that are scattered throughout the world. They have special markings to look out for. 

The process of getting through the gate ain’t as simple as simply asking the person working behind the desk. First thing is you have to go to a store within the first hour of so of it opening (as this is often when there are little to no civilains around). Some stores are more lenient but that depends on how much business they get.

 ALSO, if you’re a student of faculty member, you're given a card. That card is uniquely given to you and cannot be copied or borrowed by anyone else. This is something that is delivered to you upon you getting accepted into Benday. 

And it’s not just any worker you gotta talk to. You have to go up front, and ask for a manager after while flashing the card to the person working. They then go fetch said manager for you (if they aren’t the manager themselves) and they ask what help you need. 

You then state that you can’t find the comic you’re looking for and if they could check in the back for you. If they ask what comic specifically, you reach the step many new students practice in the mirror for. That being  that you have to basically describe yourself but in the form of a comic. 

The manager will then go to check but usher you along with them. From then on you are brought into the back where you got all your usual bookstore stuff before you walk a good distance in and the manager drops their civilian disguise and summons the door to Benday. The door comes with a cool special little card swiper. You just swipe it and the door unlocks. From then on you are waved on through and the door disappears to be summoned again for the next student. 

Wherever the door spits you out at depends on the data on your card as it contains all sorts of stuff. It states your abilities, the genre you are in, your class schedule, etc. 

WHATS BENDAY BUILT LIKE?

The location you’re spit out at really depends on two things, your genre and class schedule. Benday isn’t just a school on a giant floating continent. The continent is the campus itself. It’s divided into every genre for just about every class needed for whatever protagonist. To give a short list off the top of my head-there are zones for:

Superheroes (think along the lines of DC and Marvel)

Witchcraft (Little Witch Academia, Harry Potter, BASICALLY anything where you rely on spell castin’)

Fantasy (Welcome to dudgeon and dragons but for a grade) 

Cartoons (Think of old school slapstick protags like Tom and Jerry or Looney Tunes)

Horror Protags (you remember those bitches I mentioned in the beginning where I said they were cursed with super natural beings latching onto them...yeah they go here) 

Magical (If you require a magical transformation with glitter and sparkles to get into your super hero costume, you go here)

Shonen (If you attend this zone, you are most likely op or are on your way to it and people hesitate pickin fights with you. This zone is almost constantly being rebuilt due to the destruction caused from students)

The list goes on and even then the zones break down into subcategories for all the different stuff that goes with them. The mention of genre on your card makes it a real time saver. If you’re in the superhero genre, you get spat out at the entrance of the superhero zone. There are def some crossovers because some classes students take are in completely different zones. Plus there’s extracurricular stuff that people can sign up for so there’s a transit system to make things easier. 

In the center of Benday is the capital which holds the major events for the entire school. It’s home to assemblies, school fairs, other fancy school stuff that is escaping my tired brain. It’s also the starting point for every new student. 

Benday also has a dorm system. They are located at the capital as well as it’s the most secure location. If anything happens, people are often evacuated to the center where it’s placed on lock down. It also saves more space in the other zones. Plus navigation is already hard enough. 

You don’t have to stay at Benday, you can obviously live at home but many choose the independence and adventure of living on a floating continent in a different dimension over the mundane life of Earth. 

WHAT’S THE CAMPUS LIFE LIKE?

There are shops and restaurants as well as little cool hang out spots for students to visit between classes. Each zone has their own unique locations but the capital tends to be the most popular spot as it has a mix of all sorts of flavors. 

Of course there is a nurse’s office although it’s more like a fuckin hospital to make up for the capacity of everyone. That too is located at the capital but there’s a special transportation system for the injured that wastes no time at all to get them to safety. 

Speaking of the transport system, it’s multiple trains. They each have alternating tracks so they never un into each other but they stop at every key location for a student. There are also flying buses for classes to hop into that gets them to the next location in no time. 

HOW DO PEOPLE GET BACK HOME

There’s an exit located at the capital and every zone. It too is guarded but it’s not as tedious as the comic book store entrance. You just talk to some person and tell them you wanna go home and they summon up a door and you walk out of it. Of course, you’re gonna be spat out back at the store and often it’s during closing hours. The manager lets you out as they are closing shop and you can return to your boring mundane life again. 

VISITORS?

Benday is very strict but they do allow for civilians to visit so long as they have close ties to students or faculty. And often, they are only allowed to be present in the capital. If they want to visit the zones, they need to be in the attendance of a student.

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello there! I’m finally here with the third and last part of my favorite drarry fics I read in 2019!!! In the first part and in the second part I recommended 10 stories that made my year, and in this post I’m recommending 10 more that I absolutely adore. The banner art is by @spielzeugkaiser who was really kind and let me use this GORGEOUS piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, without further ado, here’s my,

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2019 PART THREE

1. The Company of The Rose - @lower-east-side - 31k - E - Six years after the war, Draco Malfoy has been restoring magical estates, while sidestepping his mother’s plots to marry him off and resolutely avoiding his issues. An advert in the Prophet takes him to a remote island, where a mysterious stranger has purchased an abandoned retreat. But the house has a few secrets of its own, and Draco will be forced to deal with not only his past, but the possibilities of the future.

We’re starting out this list with one of the last fics I read last year, and undoubtedly one of my absolute favorites. It’s gorgeous, sweet, breathtaking, a dozen other adjectives I can’t even think of. Stories that take place in beautiful, secluded places have a special place in my heart, and with a sure hand the author leads us through some of my favorite aspects of the trope: slow forming friendships, the feeling like they’re living in a world of their own as they get to know each other for who they really are, wonderful, delicious sexual tension keeping me breathless until the moment it snaps. The sex pollen element is also worked in a way I had never read before, with an exploration of what happens in the aftermath, addressing the issue of consent it creates. It’s just absolutely phenomenal, every single word of this. 

2. I could be wrong, I could be ready - @harryromper - 57k - M - At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Explorations of Harry as a character and his post-war issues never fail to hook me right in, and this beautiful fic takes us with him on a journey where he changes so, so much, and at first he does it by running away, thinking everything will remain unchanged as long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, which, of course, isn’t the case. We see him having to face his past, reconnecting with his friends, finding and coming to terms with pieces of himself that he forgot about, or never knew existed in the first place, and it’s absolutely exquisite. The tremendous amount of character development, the regaining of trust in himself and others, the way we can witness a love story blooming slow and steady, and see Harry grow into a confident, wonderful man. God, I have feels for this one, for every detail, every character and setting and emotion. It’s absolutely fantastic. 

3. What Real Thing? - @l0vegl0wsinthedark - 12k - E - They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

This was my year of falling in love with l0ve’s fics. I had read some of her work before, but it was a few months ago that I found myself deep into her ao3 page, nearly weeping with the amount of emotion every single one of her stories stirs up within me. Picking just one was extremely difficult, but I finally chose this one, because the way she paints the relationship between Harry and Draco is masterful, their dynamic shifting and changing little by little, baby steps that become full-on sprints, single-minded and hesitant all at once, until we see them elbows deep into a feeling they don’t even know they’re experiencing, and it’s just brilliant, scorching hot, all-encompassing in a way that made me feel caught up in the whirlwind that is their relationship. If you haven’t yet read anything by l0ve, then I strongly, strongly recommend you start right about NOW. You won’t regret it. 

4. Teeth - @amelior8or - 5k - E - Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

I am absolutely, 1000% weak for werewolf stories, and in just 5k words this one managed to enchant and entrance me. It’s hot and fast-paced and intense in the way I love, with their relationship charged with emotion and intensity that transform bickering into passion in the blink of an eye. The moment I reached the end, I went back to the top of the page and reread it that very second, because I had to experience it all over again. Amazing characterization, banter to die for and explosive chemistry are all present in this gem. I kid you not, I’ve read it about six times at this point and just keep going back to that moment in the showers because THAT DIALOGUE IS JUST- wow. 

5. Hush, darling - @magpiefngrl - 23k - E - Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter.

My god what a story this is. Absolutely unique, 23k words that felt like so, so much more because of everything they made me feel. There isn’t a single line of dialogue in this story that doesn’t feel purposeful, the characterizations constructed with such skill that every step the characters take rings true to their essence and gives us another clue to add to the puzzle that is Harry Potter, vulnerable man, powerful man, and Draco Malfoy, in all his darkness and his light. It also features some of the best sex scenes I have read, EVER. I could go on and on about this one, so let me just refer you to my long, individual rec for some more flailing. 

6. The Pirate and the Prince - @nerdherderette - 49k - E - Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

YES!!!!! YES!!! The moment I saw the cover art for this fic on tumblr my entire being just screamed YES, and it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. Listen, there is nothing I love more than fics where I get to see Harry as a powerful, ruggedly handsome man who’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty, and in here there’s some of that and MORE, because he’s a freaking PIRATE. And not only did I adore that aspect of it, but the writing pulled me right in, the setting so vibrant I could feel it in my bones, and I just genuinely enjoyed every second of reading this so, so much. There’s ships and adventure and fighting for what’s right, there’s lovely kisses, heated kisses, secret identities and parrot Hedwig. Just, all in all, a great freaking time. 

7. Falling for a Golden Boy - @rockmarina - 44k - E - Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

My favorite eight year Drarry of all time, probably. I had never before experienced such a beautiful balance of the aftermath of the horrifying events of the war and how they impacted each character, and the light feeling of youthful fun. There are so, so many things to love in the 44k words that make up this masterpiece, so many details that warmed my heart and made me melt inside, so many moments that had me laughing or clutching my chest. In here, you’ll find quite a lot of Hercules references, wonderful teachers, drama club, healing, characters learning to trust, learning to love, learning to cope, beautiful friendships, hopeful romance. It is everything. I talked more about this fic in this individual rec, and I will absolutely talk MORE about it if given the chance. Everyone should read this. 

8. Tease Crossed, Eyes Dotted With A Little Heart - @diligent-thunder - 18k - M -  Draco's a curse-breaker, Harry's an Auror, and they're... something? Maybe? It depends. Harry definitely wants to get laid, Draco wants to follow procedure, and their work wives just want them to stop hiding from the truth. 

I hope you’re not sick of my rambling yet because oooooh boy, THIS ONE. It’s funny, in the way that makes you cover your mouth because you’re about to burst out laughing on the bus, it’s hot, in that casual way that makes you clear your throat and shift your phone just a little, just so the screen can’t be seen by the person sitting beside you because like HELL are you going to stop reading now, it’s sweet, in the way that makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and it’s so detailed and all around so, so much fun to read, in the way that grips you and doesn’t let you go, only to release you when it’s over so you can go and recommend it to your friends, IT’S. SO. GOOD. Real quick: auror + cursebreaker pairing, are-they-friends-with-benefits-or-more, guess-they’d-have-to-actually-TALK-to-know-that, teasing each other in public, getting trapped together for a bit there, powerful female characters, should you guys really be flirting right now? and MORE. Listen, just go read it now and thank me later. 

9. That which hurts (and is desired) - @shealwaysreads - 19k - E - Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

This fic is written so, so beautifully that it aches and leaves such an impression that, thinking back on it, every emotion hits me just as hard as it did when I was reading it. Everything Harry felt, I felt, every moment where he found himself just a little bit more in love with Draco, I was there, every moment of his frustration when Draco is hit with a curse nobody can decipher, I was there for it. With non-linear storytelling, it is evocative, a masterclass in narration, pacing, characterization and beautiful, lyrical writing. I nearly have no words for it. It features: auror partners that work together seamlessly, a dash of pining, a helping of very, very hot sex, and a love story that feels soft like a dream and thrilling like a race. This was the very last story I read in 2019, and I could not have ended the year on a better note. Definitely check this one out.

10. For Thine Is The Kingdom - @kedavranox - 66k - E - On a secret mission, Draco is Turned. With no memory of what happened, he learns that to save his missing Auror partner and regain what he’s lost, he must uncover the long-buried secrets of the vampire covens. To do that, Draco must open his mind and heart to what he has become, the new-found family that surrounds him, and the man who has remained steadfast at his side through it all.Harry spent five years avoiding the man he fell in love with, but when Draco needs his help, he cannot refuse. As they race against the clock to find Draco’s partner, Harry discovers that the bond they share is nothing to hide from, and that he'll never outrun the pace of his own heart.

And last but absolutely not least, there’s this freaking diamond of a story. I swear I want to squeal whenever I remember it. I’ll be brief: it is one of my absolute favorite fics of all time. In here, there’s vampires, unspeakables, a big investigation, wonderful side characters and information given in small little doses as we learn alongside the characters and piece together an entire picture. It’s dazzling, incredibly detailed in every way, with shades to each character and nuances to every interaction and bit of magic we get to see. I feel like anything I can say is not enough, I can never do this story justice. I have tried before, and written the gushiest individual fic rec of my LIFE but just- I honestly have no more words to express how much I think everyone needs to read this. Please, check that rec out, please, check this story out. There is absolutely nothing like it.

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And that wraps it for 2019! Thank you to all who take the time to check out my lists, and THANK YOU specially if you give these incredible stories a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. Once again: All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (for tag concerns or plain flailing) (or any story really) my DM’s are always open!!!

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Harry Potter re-read: thoughts and ranking my favourite books

In 2020 I completed a full re-read of Harry Potter for the first time since I was a child. It was a rollercoaster experience of highs and lows; excitement, nostalgia, frustration, joy, boredom and everything in between. It took the whole year (in between reading other books) and I hit a wall in the sumer, but I’m glad I persevered and made it to the end. This series will always hold a special place in my heart and as much as I love the movies, there’s so much detail that is missed from them. I didn’t realise just how much my memories of the HP universe had been shaped by the movies until I read the books. I feel like I’ve reconnected with the universe and characters in an authentic way and lots of my opinions have changed as a result. 

Before we get to the ranking, some disclaimers:

If it wasn’t already obvious SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE HARRY POTTER SERIES (at this point I’d be surprised if there’s anybody that needs this warning, but better safe than sorry!).

This ranking is completely subjective and very changable. I love all of the books and I’ve based the ranking solely on my enjoyment of reading them. 

In writing this post I am in no way supporting or endorsing J.K. Rowling’s works. Her ignorance and hatred is intolerable and abhorrent. I discuss this more in the conclusion of this post.

None of the images or gifs featured were made by me, all credit goes to the creators.

7. The Goblet of Fire

One of my favourite movies, but my least favourite book. This one hasn’t aged well for me. It’s too long, there’s much too filler and it has the disadvantage of coming after The Prisoner of Azkaban. I like the idea of the Triwizard Tournament in theory, but the execution is dull. We spend chapters upon chapters upon chapters with Harry and Hermione researching and preparing for the tasks and the tasks themselves are very anti-climatic. It’s also difficult to ignore the fact that the second and third tasks take part underwater and in a maze, and the audience can’t even see what’s going on. Apparently there’s no spell that can allow the audience to see underwater or inside a maze, not even those Muggle inventions called cameras *face palm*

The sub-plot with S.P.E.W was equally dull and didn’t add much to the story. I also found it deeply uncomfortable and upsetting to read about the enslavement of elves and the way that slavery was portrayed in general. The one positive I took from it was seeing Dobby with his crazy jumpers and socks. Dobby is The Best.

(credit to xbirdyblue on DeviantArt for this wonderful fanart image of Dobby)

The reactions to Harry’s name coming out of the Goblet of Fire is what infuriated me most in this book because it doesn’t even make sense. Firstly, does anybody really believe Harry’s capable of overcoming such powerful magic to put his name in? Secondly, why the fudging hell would Harry want to put his name in the Goblet? He’s a 14 year old child who has endured endless trauma; he’s spent most of his life living in an abusive household and the 3 years he’d been at Hogwarts fighting against Voldemort. He doesn’t want fame or glory, he just wants to live a normal, peaceful life and hang out with his best friends. Ron’s reaction is particularly annoying because he of all people should know Harry wouldn’t put his name in the Goblet. I understand why Ron felt that way and I love him but... 

The one thing I did enjoy about this book is the evolution of Harry’s friendships with Ron and Hermione. Hermione is fiercely loyal to Harry and devoted every waking second to helping him succeed in the tasks. Despite Ron’s silly tantrum and their divide through most of the book, their falling out really does cement Harry’s love for Ron. 

"He thought he could have coped with the rest of the school's behaviour if he could just have Ron back as his friend." 

Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging round in the library." 

"The thing Harry Potter will miss the most, sir!"

"Harry didn't care, he wouldn't have cared if Karkaroff had given him zero; Ron's indignation on his behalf was worth a hundred points to him." 

What can I say? Ron is Harry’s platonic soul mate. That is all.

Barty Crouch’s escape from Azkaban and transformation into Moody is more cunning and intelligent than it was in the movies - this dude switched places with his mother and left her in Azkaban in his place!! 

Fred and George were by far the highlight of this book for me. Their characters are great in the movies, but in the books they’re just--

Their antics, wit and banter are top notch. I’d actually forgotten that Harry gave his prize winnings from the Tournament to Fred and George, and it seems like such a huge injustice!! This act of kindness and selflessness on Harry’s part is largely why Fred and George are able to set up Wizard Wheezes. It’s a testament to Harry’s love for Fred and George that he gave them his winnings. Harry may not have needed the money but he could’ve done literally anything with it, and chose to give it to the twins because he believed in their ideas and wanted to give them the opportunity they needed. 

GOF was always one of my favourite movies because of this moment: 

Voldemort’s return was one of the most chilling, terrifying and shocking moments for me as a kid. The scene in the graveyard still stands out as being one of my favourite scenes from the movies. In the books, it didn’t have the same impact, unfortunately. In fact, this is what was noticeable to me all the way through reading this book - I like the movie more. The movie cuts out the filler, takes the interesting aspects of the book and does them better.

Overall, despite being at the bottom of my list, I still like GOF. It’s a huge step up in world-building and is an entertaining book with a great premise;  I loved the Golden Trio’s friendship, the appearances from Dobby and Fred and George’s antics. Unfortunately, this book is let down by the sheer amount of filler, the underwhelming execution of the main plot and too much focus on sub-plots like S.P.E.W.

6. The Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone 

It was really difficult to rank Phliosopher’s Stone, because it holds a special place in my heart because it’s where the series began. This book does a great job at introducing Hogwarts and it captures those nostalgic, magical Hogwarts vibes unlike any of the other books. This book is all about the wonder and the joy of Hogwarts, and Hogwarts lives in my heart, so stepping into this magical world with Harry for the first time again was a joy to read.  

I love the time spent in this book on experiencing the smaller wonders of the magical world with Harry - Platform 9 3/4, Hogwarts Express, Diagon Alley, Ollivanders, the Sorting Hat, Great Hall feasts, ghosts etc. It’s exciting and fun to read about, and truly a gem of a book for children.

Seeing Harry go from living in a cupboard and suffering abuse and neglect to an incredible world full of wonder and people who want to get to know him and show him kindness was a joy to read. I love the development of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friendship and how, despite how short the book is, it’s developed properly. Their friendship with Hermione doesn’t happen overnight, but by the end there’s a genuine bond and trust between them. 

But of course, as the first book in the series, the plot is lacking and the writing isn’t at its strongest. Also, despite how short it is I did feel a little bored reading the second half. It’s a great entry to the series and does a wonderful job at establishing the world, main trio and other characters, but in the grander scheme of the series it’s quite bland a forgettable. 

5. The Deathly Hallows

Now this one came as a big surprise to me, because before my re-read I considered The Deathly Hallows to be my favourite book, but I just didn’t enjoy it this time around. The first 50-60% of this book got me like: 

I was bored as hell. The travelling, the hunting for Horcruxes, Dumbledore’s backstory, the bickering between Harry, Ron and Hermione...it was tiresome. Fortunately, amongst that there were a lot of isolated things that I enjoyed. 

Firstly, I adore the Tale of the Three Brothers, it’s interesting and I love the depiction of it in the movies - it’s just so cool!

Secondly, Ron and Hermione are very cute in this book, and for the first time I  appreciated them as a romantic ship. 

Thirdly, Harry looking through Sirius’ room and finding a letter from Lily broke my heart. This moment is so touching and completely unexpected, since I’d forgotten about it over the years. 

(credit to alessiatrunifo for this stunning fanart)

Fourthly, LUNA LOVEGOOD. You know what? I have no qualms in saying Luna is one of my new favourite characters since my re-read. I always liked her, but she never stood out to me, and that’s changed. It’s not just that she’s unique and wacky, but that she’s fiercely independent, moral, kind and loyal. Luna has such a strong sense of who she is and she doesn’t let anyone or anything contradict that. 

Can I also admit that I might slightly ship Harry and Luna now? 🙊 Luna seeing through Harry’s disguise as “Barney Weasley” based on his facial expressions alone and their reactions to the possibility of the other being in danger touched my heart. 

"'She will [survive],' said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. 'She's tough Luna, much tougher than you'd think. She's probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.'" 

"Oh, no, I didn't want you to be caught!" 

They’re cute, okay?

Finally, Kreacher! This was perhaps one of the biggest surprises from reading this book, because I’d completely forgotten about Kreacher’s story. And boy, oh, boy did this pull on my heartstrings. Kreacher has one of the most tragic backstories in the HP universe and he absolutely deserves the redemption he got in this book. I loved seeing him develop a genine relationship with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and the fact that they never went back for him made me so sad. Poor Kreacher!

I enjoyed all of these elements of the first half of the book, and then I got to The Sacking of Severus Snape and it was like:

This is where the book finally took off for me (unfortunately, it took 30 chapters to get there) and as soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione are back in Hogwarts I couldn’t put it down. There are so many brilliant moments and things I loved that all I can really do is bullet point them:

The character reunions.

Percy finally redeeming himself!!!!

McGonnagal being the most badass to ever badass.

Neville Longbottom owns my heart ❤❤❤

Neville's grandmother's response to finding out Neville was fighting in the battle - "Naturally [he is]. Excuse me, I must go and assist him." 

Ron and Hermione's first kiss!! and Harry’s reaction to it - "Is this the moment? OI! There's a war going on here!"

Percy handing in his resignation whilst Stupefy-ing his boss - "Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?"

The Forest Again was such an emotional chapter. It got me good.

"You'll stay with me?" "Until the very end." 😭

"Harry, you wonderful boy. You brave, brave man."

"Perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those, who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

Did I mention that Neville is bloomin' amazing?

Kreacher!!!!!! "Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of the house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regalus! Fight!"

Reading The Flaw in the Plan was soooo much more satisfying than watching it play out on-screen in the movie. 

In many ways DH has some of the best, most satisfying moments of any of the books. It’s a strong conclusion to the series and there’s so much that I loved about it; so many memorable and emotional moments (Dobby and Fred’s deaths still hit hard 20 years later). Unfortunately, it was dragged down by the first half of the book and the epilogue. I tried so hard to keep an open mind about the epilogue, but the truth is it still BLOWS. And the more time that passes the more I resent the decisions that were made about character deaths. I understand that the stakes were high and we needed to lose characters close to our hearts but Fred?? Dobby??? Remus??? NO! Just no, okay? I don’t accept that. 

4. The Order of the Phoenix

Now, The Order of the Phoenix had similar issues as DH for me - it had a very slow start but a great ending. I did take a couple of months break in the middle of reading this one and distinctly remember slogging my way through the first half and devouring the second half. 

I’ve made no secret over the years that Sirius and Remus are two of favourite HP characters, so I expected to enjoy OOTP a lot for that reason. I did really enjoy all the smatterings of Sirius and Remus we go throughout this book. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough for me. This book really highlighted for me how limited Harry’s POV was, because I wanted more of an insight into the Order but Harry was kept in the dark the entire time which was frustrating. 

One of the main character highlights of this book is the legend Minverva McGonnagal. Her sass, strength and determination to defend Hogwarts and its students against Dolores is astounding. Here are some of my favourite McGonnagal moments:

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head they mean 'no.'"

"Can I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"

"I should have made my meaning plainer. [Harry] has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a compotent teacher."

Defending Hagrid against Umbridge.

And of course:

(Still can’t believe the movie robbed us of this!)

Time for a less popular opinion - I loved Harry in this book. In general, this book made me feel very protective of Harry, because Harry is bloomin’ incredible and deserves so much better than what he gets in this book. He’s always had a bad rep in OOTP for being an annoying, angsty teenager, but in my opinion, this is Harry at his most relatable and lovable. After everything Harry went through, he’s entitled to be angry with the world. He endured everything that he did and took the responsibility of the world onto his shoulders with little complaint, and in OOTP he reaches breaking point. Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. The adults in Harry’s life are glaringly irresponsible in this book. Not only do they force him back to the Dursley’s after the hugely traumatic events of GOF based on some bull about “blood magic”, but they purposefully hide the truth from him even though that puts him at greater risk and adds to his emotional distress. Everyone around Harry expects him to be mature and act like an adult when he’s fighting against the darkest wizard of all time, yet don’t give him the courtesy or respect of telling him the truth about significant things that impact him and the people he loves. Sirius os the only person that refuses to belittle Harry, but in some ways, his behaviour is just as damaging as those that tried to shelter Harry from the truth, because he expects too much of Harry and projects James’ personality onto him. The adults around Harry fail him to such an extent in this book that he establishes the DA because he can’t even rely on the adults around him to keep him and his friends safe. Harry’s emotions in this book aren’t only understandable, but justified and I felt an even deeper connection to him as a result. His vulnerability shows his strength and courage more than ever before. This is the point where he goes from the Chosen One to a true champion, because even when he reaches rock bottom and wants to give up, he doesn’t walk away. I love Harry so much.

The Department of Mysteries is by far one of my favourite sections from any of the books. I love the friendship dynamics, Luna, Neville and Ginny are given the chance to really shine, the stakes are high, the action is great and despite the trauma of Sirius’ death, that moment is so hard-hitting and memorable. This section of the book just took it to a new level for me. It was really great.

The emotion of Sirius’ death was captured so perfectly, and is such a huge turning point for Harry. Like I said above, choosing to go on even after losing Sirius proves that Harry is a true hero; that he isn’t just doing what he was doing out of obligation or has been told to but because he believes in doing the right thing. I best move on before I continue to speak about how amazing Harry James Potter is.

Now we come to Neville. Can you believe that I’d actually forgot the details of Neville being the Chosen One? It was a blast learning about that again and how he’s connected to the prophecy. I also loved that we got to see his family and not just be told about it via dialogue. Neville is by far one of the most loveable and interesting minor characters in the series. He has so many great moments in books 1-4, but he really shines in OOTP.

The more I write about this book, the more I find things to love. It’s just a shame that the first half lets it down, because overall, I think there’s a lot of great material here in terms of plot and character development.

3. The Chamber of Secrets

I know that The Chamber of Secrets is generally ranked low amongst most fans, but I love it. At this point, the books were more simplistic and just fun, and I like that. I also have to acknowledge that I have a deep affinity for the COS movie - I grew up watching it over and over, and of all the movies it’s still the one I know best and always come back to (still can’t believe the “Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies line?” wasn’t even in the books!)

I love all of the different elements in this book:

Dobby

The Burrow

The flying car

Whomping Willow

Moaning Myrtle 

This idiot

Gilderoy Lockhart is one of my favourite antagonists in the entire series, because he isn’t intentionally bad, he’s just an arrogant fool. His primary concern is his image and reputation and he was willing to go to any lengths to maintain it. He’s a bad person in a subtle and hilarious way. 

Generally speaking, there are too many fun and entertaining moments to count in this book. I love the childish-ness of this book in comparison to the darker tone the series adopts from POA onwards. For me, COS still has the silliness and merriment that I really associate HP with. Entertainment value aside, the plot in COS is actually well executed.

As a short, concise and effective plot, Tom Riddle’s diary and the Chamber of Secrets works incredibly well. I liked the mystery and suspense of the culprit of the Muggle born attacks, and the big moments connected to it - finding out that Hagrid might be the perpetrator, Ginny being possessed by Voldemort, Hermione being petrified, Harry speaking Parceltongue. The stakes are high and this plot is strong enough to keep momentum going between the more light hearted moments.

Overall, COS is a quick, easy and fun read. It may not be the best written or complex book in the series, but I’m a huge advocate for it. Not only is it highly entertaining, but it also introduced a lot of great and important aspects to the series (Horcruxes, Tom Riddle being the heir of Slytherin, Harry being connected to Voldemort, polyjuice potion and Dobby), and built very well on what was established in PS. 

2. The Half Blood Prince

The biggest surprise of this re-read was how much I bloomin’ loved Half Blood Prince. It has the perfect balance of plot, character development, mystery, humour and emotion. Out of the bigger books in the series, this was the one I finished the fastest (2 days), because it was quite literally un-put-downable (yes, that’s a word). 

First, let’s talk about the plot, because wow, it’s a good ‘un. In my opinion, it’s the strongest and best written plot from any of the books. There’s Voldemort’s backstory, the development of Harry and Dumbledore’s relationship, Snape’s backstory, the mystery of the Half Blood Prince, Harry’s rivalry/suspicion of Malfoy, hunting Horcruxes and Dumbledore’s death. This book feels like an incredible pay-off for things that have been built up in the previous 5 books. We learn so much about certain characters - Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Voldemort, Ginny - and regardless of whether I liked those characters or not, I was invested. The clues that Snape is the Half Blood Prince are cleverly interwoven within the narrative and the mystery keeps you guessing, even when you know who it is. 

The last part of this book from Chapter 26 onwards was just explosive. Although I knew what was coming, I was surprised at the level of emotion I felt when Dumbledore and Harry were in the cave and when Dumbledore died. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes. 

This book just doesn’t let up for a second. If we aren’t learning more about Voldemort, we’re following Draco to see what he’s up to or unravelling mysteries around the Half Blood Prince or trying to get information from Slughorn about horcruxes. Even the down time is enjoyable to read in this book (Chapter 9 was one of my favourite chapters to read) and the friendships and banter are stellar. 

In terms of character development, this is also one of the strongest books. Dumbledore is finally developed beyond the omnipotent Gandalf-esque archetype and we learn bout his past and his flaws.

"I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger." 

The focus on Dumbledore also sets it up for his death, and you know what? It works. If we’d lost Dumbledore prior to HBP, I would’ve been shocked and upset, but losing him at this point hurts that much more because we learn so much more about him, see how important he is to Harry and how vital his guidance is in defeating Voldemort. Dumbledore’s death feels like all hope is lost, and so soon after losing Sirius it feels even harsher.

Insight into Snape’s back-story finally explains some of his motivations and actions (though it does not condone them).

Although Voldemort’s backstory doesn’t necessarily add to our understanding of him, it’s interesting to see how he came into the world, and learn about his family background. What this demonstrated most to me is that a lot of the time there is no reason for evil. Voldemort didn’t really have any motivations for what he did. Sure, he didn’t have the perfect, happy childhood but there isn’t really enough substance there to try to explain how or why he became the monster that he did. 

More could’ve been done with Malfoy, but I enjoyed him having a bigger presence in this book and how the idea that family shapes who we are isn’t always true. Draco does what is expected of him from his family, but ultimately, he has his own conscience and inner turmoil that forces him to question things.

As for Harry...he goes to a dark place in this book. OOTP has always been cpnsidered as the “angsty Harry”, but HBP takes Harry to new places. Harry feels more ruthless, reckless and determined in this book than any other. There’s an underlying sense of apathy that lingers from Sirius’ death. He obsesses about his mission to extract the memory from Slughorn and his lessons with Dumbledore, and fixates on his hatred for Draco and Snape. The fact that Harry uses Sectumsempra on Draco is honestly the most alarming thing that Harry does because it shows how dark a place Harry has gone to. He knows the spell is going to inflict serious harm and yet he uses it anyway. 

Generally, Harry abuses the potions book and manipulates, lies and takes advantage of almost everyone around him. I really see his dependency on that book and his choice to exploit it for his own benefit as adverse effects of the grief and trauma he endured. For once, he has the upper hand and I’d even argue that despite the Half Blood Prince being anonymous stranger to him, he relies on him as a mentor or parental figure. Yet despite it being a dark book for Harry, he also seems to get some genuine peace with Ginny. Although I’m not a Hinny shipper, it was so nice to see Harry experience some normality and contentment. No matter what he goes through, he remains kind hearted. I actually feel like this book more than any other emphasises that point - Harry could just as easily have gone down the same path as Vodlemort, but he made a choice not to.

“In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your hears desire and it showed you the only way to thwart Lord Voldement, and not immortality or riches. Harry, have you any idea how few wizards could have seen what you saw in the mirror?" 

Plot and character development aside, the comedy in this book is gold and I appreciate the movie (and Daniel Radcliffe) for maximising on that to create some of the best and funniest scenes in the movie franchise. Chapter 18 in particular was hilarious.

Now I have to speak about one of my favourite moments from this book:

Since GoF, Fleur was grossly mistreated and discriminated against by the Weasley’s (Molly and Ginny in particular). The way they treated her was sexist and xenophobic pure and simple. They had no reason to dislike her and all of their reasons seemed to be built on some flimsy notion that she was full of herself (why, just because she was beautiful? and even if she was, what’s wrong with confidence?!) and that she was annoying and loud because she was French. Seeing Fleur finally stand up to their bigotry was fantastic. It’s a moment I’d been waiting for for so long and I’m so glad we got it, because frankly, Molly and Ginny’s beahviour towards Fleur needed to be addressed because it was disgusting.

Overall, HBP demonstrates the strengths of HP as a series. In comparison to the other books, I don’t really have anything to crituqe I enjoyed all of it from beginning to end, which is why it almost took the top spot in this ranking.

1. The Prisoner of Azkaban

It was really close between first and second place, but Prisoner of Azkaban just managed it. This is where the HP series truly takes off and starts to shine. In comparison to what we got in PS and COS it’s richer - the plot is complex, the world building is more developed, the characters are great and it’s generally an entertaining read but with added complexity in comparison to its predecessors.

I like that POA allows us to spend so much time in Hogwarts hanging out, but that the plot comes to the forefront more. We’re all so familiar with HP at this point that it’s easy to forget the impact the plot-twists must’ve punched the first time we read them. But for me, it’d been so long since I’d read the series, that it really was like reading them for the first time and POA was one of the ones that surprised me at various points.

I’d forgot details like:

The Shrieking Shack got its name and reputation because Lupin locked himself up there during transformations; The Whomping Willow was planted to hide the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack and prevent Lupin from escaping and hurting people in his werewolf form

Crookshanks was Sirius’ ally

Sirius escaped Azkaban in his dog form

Unsurprisingly, Remus and Sirius were the highlight of this book for me. I know it’s basic but I really love them and the two of them having such a focus in this book really makes it.

Remus truly shines in this book. He’s a lovable character – a great teacher, a supportive mentor and a loyal friend. His tragic backstory only adds to his character. Snape tries to villainise Remus for being a werewolf, but the reality is that he’s a victim. He was an innocent child that was bitten by a vicious, cruel monster and has to live with the consequences of that for the rest of his life. He carries so much self-loathing, fear and insecurity because of what he is and he doesn’t deserve it. Dumbledore is the only one that separates the man from the wolf and takes Remus on his merits. He knows that Remus is a genuinely good person and a talented teacher, and he’s willing to make the necessary adjustments to enable Remus equal opportunity. Not only does it benefit Remus for Dumbledore to do this, but the students too, because let’s face it, Remus is a bloody damn good teacher.

Remus is arguably the most decent and responsible adult character in the entire HP universe. He respects Harry’s agency but also acknowledges that he’s still a child that needs protection and guidance. Instead of lying to Harry or throwing him into dangerous situations, he does perhaps the most helpful thing any adult ever does for Harry – he teaches him how to defend himself. I love that Lupin and Harry’s relationship in this book foreshadows the formation of the DA in OOTP; Lupin is the only one that teaches Harry practical DATDA skills and in the absence of Lupin as a teacher, Harry then takes on that role as a mentor and provides his friends with the skills to defend themselves. 

Now we come to Sirius. Introducing Sirius as the enemy – a dangerously, mad criminal who is conspiring with Voldemort and wants Harry dead – and then revealing him to be the complete opposite was genius. Part of me wished I could completely forget so that I could experience the utter shock of finding that out for the first time. The fact that Harry saw his parents in the Mirror of Erised in PS and then finds Sirius and Lupin in this book touches my heart. Sirius is a direct link to Harry’s parents unlike anything he’s ever had. Although on the surface, their bond develops too quickly, considering that Harry is 13 years old and all he wants more than anything is to have parents and/or a connection to his parents, his quick attachment to Sirius makes sense. The thought of living with Sirius makes Harry so happy that he used it to power his patronus!!! Likewise, Sirius clings to Harry knowing that he’s the son of his best friends. He spent the entirety of his time in Azkaban knowing Harry was still out there somewhere without James and Lily and in danger from Voldemort. Immediately, Sirius provides Harry with the type of comfort about his parents that he’s never received before.

“You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him. How else could you produce that particular Patronus? Prongs rode again last night.”

One of the highlights of this book is the scene where Snape catches Harry with the Marauders Map. That quote is just legendary.

"Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor. Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

Admittedly, the time travel in this book is problematic as hell. I’m grateful that Harry and Hermione were able to save Buckbeak and Sirius due to time travel, but if it was up to me, I’d remove time travel from the universe completely. It doesn’t fit, it’s too complicated and creates too many issues. McGonnagal condones the use of time travel for Hermione to attend extra lessons and yet won’t use it to tackle real, important problems, like I don’t know, war, death, disease, disasters etc. Not to mention the entire Voldemort problem and Harry becoming the Chosen One could’ve been resolved by going back to the night of James and Lily’s deaths.

One of my favourite elements of this book was seeing Ron and Hermione’s friendship with Hagrid. A lot of emphasis is placed on Harry’s friendship with Hagrid. but this book shows how devoted Ron and Hermione are to Hagrid. They both spend a lot of their time comforting him and helping him to prepare for Buckbeak’s trial.

This book has a great balance – it’s still on the shorter side but it doesn’t suffer for it. and here’s plenty of plot and character development. Ironically, whilst HBP is my favourite because of the emphasis on the main plot, POA is my favourite because it takes a break from Voldemort. It’s refreshing to take a step away from Voldemort and put the focus onto a new villain in Sirius, and then for the twist to be revealed that he’s not actually a villain but Harry’s godfather. The time-turner is the biggest draw-back in this book, but I can overlook that because there’s so much more to love in this book. It’s definitely the most re-readable book in terms of the length and plot. This book is a happy medium which incorporates the strengths from all of the other books in a smaller package than HBP - it’s fun but expands on the universe, introduces brilliant new characters and has a depth and complexity that the first two lack whilst not having the filler that books 4-7 have.  

Conclusion

It’s hard to read these books without it being mingled with childhood nostalgia, so that undoubtedly informed my ranking. Despite being a children's series, the books still hold up reading them as an adult. I enjoyed rediscovering the smaller details I’d forgotten over the years and feel much closer to the universe as a result. The characters and their dynamics are by far my favourite thing about HP. I also enjoy the whimsical magic and how this is offset against the darker tone later in the series. However, in light of JKR’s hateful rhetoric, my attention was drawn to the problematic elements of the books such as the portrayal of slavery in addition to: 

Lack of major/well-written characters of color

Anti-semitic caricature of goblin bankers

Cho Chang’s name (which many consider offensive), stereotypical placement in Ravenclaw (the smart house) while being the only East-Asian character in the books, and she functions almost exclusively as a love interest

Ableism all-around

Nagini, an evil snake who gets chopped in half, is actually an Asian woman according to Fantastic Beasts, making her the second of two named East Asian characters in the franchise

“Magic in North America,” a history of magic in North America published on Pottermore that grossly misappropriates and misconstrues Native American cultures

Anthony Goldstein, retconned token Jewish character, also stereotypically named

General stereotypical naming of non-Anglo-Saxon characters

Remus Lupin’s werewolf status as an AIDS metaphor while depicting his condition as making him monstrous, and the man who bit him goes around biting people for kicks

Declaring that Dumbledore is gay with exactly 0 in-canon references, and no other LGBTQ+ representation  (article credit: Separating Art from Artist - Thoughts on J.K. Rowling written by Melina List on Medium)

This is the last time I will read these books, partly because I’ve outgrown them, but mostly because I can’t, without a heavy conscience ignore the relationship between JKR’s hateful views and her works. If you want to learn more about this, I’d recommend checking out a post from my_weird_bookish_heart on Instagram which explains why we couldn’t and shouldn’t ignore the problems in these books by adopting a “art is separate from the artist” mentality (if you would like the link to this please message me and I’l be happy to share it. We can all still love and enjoy HP, but we all have a moral duty to acknowledge and take responsibility for this and not feign ignorance. Views like JKR’s directly harm individuals and groups, not just in the trans community but also the Jewish and LGBTQIA+ communities and people of colour. I can’t and won’t accept that in silence. No matter how special HP was to me as a child, the lives of real humans are unquestionably more important.

Thank you for reading.

[scribeoffate]

I wasn't tagged, but I found it from @livingbythewords and wanted to do it. I am not going to tag anyone, take a page out of my book and do it if you're interested. Tag me though, so I can read your answers. :D

(It's safe to assume most of my stories have a non or dubcon warning on them before you click.)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

50, I had no idea it was so many

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

198, 124

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

A lot: Yuri on Ice, Teen Wolf, Animorphs, Dark Angel, La Femme Nikita (on a03)

In other places: Stargate SG:1, Weiss Kreuz, Pirates of the Caribbean, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Slayers, Harry Potter, The Bible, Supernatural

Not posted anywhere: White Collar, Nikita, Star Wars

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(all Yuri on Ice)

1. No Matter What

2. Mutual Affliction

3. And I Would Do Anything for Love

4. Patience

5. No Matter Where

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Dis-Integration, a Yuri on Ice, La Femme Nikita crossover. It deliciously bleak.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

A Formal Introduction at the Ball a Yuri on Ice piece I wrote for @houseofgeeks with all of her favorite things. This is pure fluff.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

A La Femme Nikita/Yuri on Ice crossover. It is possibly my most self-indulgent.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Usually of the non or dubious con variety.

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Eventually...

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Technically sort of, but nothing vitriolic. More just "this Bible fic is bad and inappropriate." And... well, it is.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I couldn't imagine why.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did have a SPN podficced once!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes. A couple in my FMA and SPN time with @artisticentropy

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I cannot even begin to answer this. I ship so many ships. Even in YOI I mutlishipped.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

All of them.

I have an SG:1 fic that I have a sequel started for, because it does have a very startling ending. I would like to finish that, but probably won't.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm told I am very good at doing very subtle darkfic, that seems all happy and normal up top but just gets worse the longer you think about it.

Skewed Perspective, the second in my YOI power dynamics series is probably the fic that showcases this and one of my favorites that I've written.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings, descriptions, scenes with more than two characters, spelling Stilinski or Nikiforov

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

"Oh it's really annoying when Mari leaves her laundry everywhere," Yuuri said in rapid Japanese, too fast for Victor to catch all of the words.

There is no need to use more than a word or two in another language in a fic. And even then I'm on the fence about it. Victor calling Yuuri sunshine is easier to read than solnyshko.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Animorphs

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I write a lot of fic with my favorite things in them. But since I've mainly talked about YOI fic, my favorite Teen Wolf is probably Devotion, my Scott/Nogitsune fic that is very dark.

[greycappedjester]

If this isn’t a spoiler, how would you rank characters in your hogwarts series on dueling? It can be any and how many characters you’d like to rank, I was just curious, and I’ve always loved the dueling aspect of Harry Potter😁

Hmmmm, good question, I often ask myself who in the series is the most potentially dangerous. This isn’t quite that list but

Top 7 Best Dueling Students (as of the start of the fourth)*

Yeah, yeah, a lot of them are the main characters; but, to be fair, they have had the most practice in life or death situations and have the bonus of training with each other more often tan not.

1.) Oikawa--Oikawa really is naturally powerful; but, I think he would only have ranked around the maybe like top 10% in power except for the fact that he borderline to way-past-borderline obsessed over working on his magic and learning everything he could about it. It’s training and cunning even more than natural aptitude

2.) Daishou--To his dueling partners’ eternal frustration actually is really good at dueling and has been practicing at it since before Hogwarts.

3.) Nametsu--Because I like her and she’s a Ravenclaw that specializes in hardcore defense spells and takes up spell experimentation in her free time. Most likely to take up Dueling Captain position in two years.

4.) Kuroo--great at formulating strategies and has a good base of magical knowledge to fall back on, fairly powerful but not insane about it.

5.) Iwaizumi--moderately powerful, specializes in defense, hard to knock down, and is excellent at cooperation in strategy

6.) Hinata--very, very powerful, far less trained

7.) Tsukishima--excellent strategist and defensive duelist, hates that he’s on this list because it’s partly due to that he’s partnered with Hinata frequently which he loathes.

A lot of the characters are decent to good duelists; but, I’d say these are the best. If I had to pick an eighth, I’d say Tanaka (less great partner pairings in his year so less practice), Terushima (for being crazy unpredictable), or Misaki (for being terrifyingly persistent). The dueling partners everyone despises to be up against are Matsukawa and Hanamaki, not because they’re great but because they’ll make sure you hate every second of it and come out of it with a huge headache. Every day the student body takes a collective sigh of relief that they begged out of the Dueling elective in favor of Astronomy (because they get a free pass to be in the halls during the night).

*Not including Beauxbatons and Durmstrang because that would get messy quick. Top Durmstrang are Ushijima and Tendou (I truthfully think Tendou’s better at real life/non-regulated dueling while Ushijima sticks closer to rules). 

On why Hinata is lower, it’s because it’s the list at the START of the fourth. By the end...well, that should be more obvious by then. At the start of the fourth, he basically got as high as he is on raw power alone. He still is a very good dueling partner with Tsukishima (Hinata on attack and disruption, Tsukishima towards very aggressive defense). But, they hate that fact so very, very much.

Side note: Best healing student of the main characters is undoubtedly Asahi, followed a good bit after by Suga and Noya.

Side note #2: If I get a chance to go into it later, I really would love to explore the spell invention/modification side of canon and how it can be applied to dueling. Like there’s some spells in Harry Potter that can obviously be shortened (like Finite Incantem to Finite) which seems like a really useful thing to know how to do when dueling.

Thanks for the ask!

[corlds-world]

Top 10 Females from my Fandoms

This is all my opinion. It’s also from the fandoms I’m in (which are pretty popular). Your opinion of course will be different from mine. But I like sharing what I think and I like hearing your opinion, too. Also we’re doing ladies first because why not. Also I’m not good at explaining my opinion. So without further ado, here’s my top 10 females. Spoilers!

10. Meg (Supernatural) Meg is definitely my favorite female character from Supernatural. She’s a villain turned anti-hero. Also a demon. And being a recurring demon in Supernatural is a quick way to earn a spot in my favorite characters list. Apologies for Ruby for not making the cut though. Anyway, Meg is tough as hell (no pun intended). She starts by working for her dad, but that’s she’s not working for her dad because she’s a daddy’s girl. She works for her dad so she can get this apocalypse started. Her real loyalties lay with Lucifer. So when Lucifer was sent back to hell, she became a lone wolf. Season 6-8 Meg is my favorite, when she’s a lone wolf against Crowley. And I think the Winchesters have always been a little intimidated by Meg. Only 5′6″ to their 7′ but still has got fire. 

9. Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel (MCU) I couldn’t just leave out the first woman to ever get a solo movie in the MCU. It was a long time waiting, but we still got it. I was pondering for a while between Natasha and Carol. I decided to go with Carol really just because I’m so excited for Phase 4 of the MCU. I’m the kind of girl that looks ahead. Captain Marvel is for sure one of my favorite solo movies in the MCU. Carol was a air force pilot from the 90′s who was told all her life that she couldn’t become a pilot. Like you see in the trailer, she picks herself back up time after time. And then she loses her memory, but she doesn’t lose that fighting spirit. She just has superpowers from the space stone. She knows her rights and her wrongs better than most people. It’s what makes her an amazing superhero. And she literally destroyed a huge spaceship in Endgame. I can’t wait to see what Brie Larson has in store for us because she is not done for sure.

8. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) I know there’s a lot of controversy with the Harry Potter fandom right now, but I just can’t help but place Luna on this list. She’s an amazing character. As a fellow Ravenclaw, she really showed us what Ravenclaw was all about: wisdom and having an open mind. She knows her spells, too, and does her homework (I think). I think more people would expect Hermione on the list, but she didn’t resonate with me the way Luna did. She’s bullied for thinking differently, which really resonated with me. But she’s got her close friends and that’s all that really matters to her. She was the first character I saw myself in, even if she’s just thinks differently than I do.

7. Eleven (Stranger Things) I really did not want to put Eleven this low. But I really just couldn’t put her higher because the girls above her are just better. However, Eleven is awesome. Truly awesome. We gotta respect the only character in Stranger Things that has superpowers. Nothing holds Eleven down. She escapes from a crazy laboratory and finds her new friends who she will literally do anything to protect. And she was messed up in that lab. But she still knows good from evil. She knew that her friends were not going to screw her over. And when she thought they were going to screw her, she kinda just said no. Like okay. She’s brave and kind and badass and everything I want in a superhero. I she’s a little intimidated by the world around her, but I would have run right back to what I knew if I were her. I think her bravery really shone in the third season. I’m sad about what’s happening to her powers, but I think they’ll find a way to get them back. Even if they don’t, I think Eleven will still prove to be everything she is without them. And just look at her. She’s just so cute. 

6. Hazel Levesque (Riordanverse) I told you this was my list and I think Hazel deserves a spot. I mean, the youngest person on the Argo II, daughter of Pluto, can control the Mist and all the jewels in the earth, and tamed an untameable immortal horse. What more do you want? Yes, yes. I love Annabeth, but I really resonated with Hazel more, mostly because she just seems sweeter than Annabeth. I’m a sweet and shy person. And I love horses. And the 40′s. Speaking of which, a POC in the 40′s in Louisiana? If I ever make a top 10 POC characters, we’ll brush up on that. Anyway, let’s talk about when she died. Did I mention she died? She gave up an eternity of happiness so her mother (who was not good to Hazel) wouldn’t have an eternity of misery. Gotta thank Nico, though, for bringing one of my faves back to life. But when Nico was in trouble, there was nothing that Hazel wouldn’t do to help her brother. And when Hazel learned how to control the Mist in couple of weeks? What a display of power. She’s had a hard life, but she’s come out stronger because of it. 

5. Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games) What? Why is Katniss so low? Mostly because it’s been a while since I’ve read the Hunger Games. I never even finished it. I stopped halfway through Mockingjay. I really like Katniss, though. She’s never had a lot. Let’s just start with the obvious that she takes on the Capital. Like you’re taking on the government? Okay go off. Of course, it’s not for no reason. They’re slaughtering everyone. But let’s just talk about when she’s in the Hunger Games the first time. I don’t think I could start to go into detail about everything that Katniss has done. She’s a badass in summary. She took on people that train for the event. She dropped a... what are they called? *googles hunger games bees* Tracker jackers! She dropped a nest full of tracker jackers on to those stuck-up kids. And Rue. Rue helped. Rue’s the best. She’s not on the list, but still. I love Rue and Katniss’ friendship, even if didn’t last. I’m sorry Rue you had to die if Katniss was to win. Anyway, Peeta got her in sort of a weird romance, but I think Katniss saved Peeta more times than Peeta saved Katniss. I love gender role reversals. Also I’m such a sucker for girls who can shoot a bow.  So, yeah, Katniss gets her spot which is very well earned. 

4. Vanya Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) The second season recently came out so she’s fresh in my mind. The most powerful sibling in the Academy uses sound to harness energy. And does she do it in style. Yeah, she kind of causes the apocalypse, but that’s not her fault. It’s Luther’s. And Reginald's. Vanya had a rough childhood. She was told all her life that she was ordinary in a house where there where only the extraordinary.  But she powered through it. And wrote a book as revenge. Like Five said, that took guts. She’s such a complicated character. She’s shy and kind. But don’t make her mad. She might stab you. I really couldn’t believe how hard I cheered when she killed Harold. Like it was bad. Also she blew up the moon. Do you want more? She’s dating a farm frau. If I ever make a top 10 canon couples, that’s going on the list. You know, if you can’t go straight, go gay. Also she’s a human bomb. I’m a sucker for human bombs. And memes. 

3. Morgana Pendragon (Merlin) I really love good girls turned bad. I was a little worried that Morgana was just going to be Merlin’s love interest in season 1. But man was I wrong. Going from a ward with bad dreams to a witch determined to be queen. I was actually kind of rooting for her. But that just could be because Katie is a phenomenal actress. But anyway, Morgana really has issues, which is why she’s top 3. Also the fact that she didn’t have a girlfriend, so disappointing. But she’s a villain, and villains don’t have lovers. Or they’re not supposed to in my book. Also she can go toe to toe with Merlin, who is supposed to be one of the best sorcerers of all time. What a show of power. 

2. Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time) My favorite redemption arc. From good to evil and back to good. Honestly one of my favorite characters to watch. And Lana just does such a good job with it. Do you see the trend that I have with my favorite characters? Tragic background is the base requirement. Magical badass gives you an improvement in the list. But Regina has had a horrible life. The fact that she is classified as a villain is heartbreaking sometimes. But she did kill a ton of people so she’s definitely a villain in the storybooks. And that sass. Only Regina could pull off that sass. But I think the fact that she tries to be good when it is not in her nature, I think that speaks volumes. 

1. Kara Danvers / Supergirl (Supergirl) I feel like people just got thrown for a loop. It’s like wait a minute. Didn’t you just say that your favorite kind of character is a “magical badass with a tragic background?” Um maybe. But Kara has her own tragedies. She just doesn’t show it. She lost her parents when she was 12. Not just her parents, but almost her whole family and all of her home. But she learned to have a new home on Earth. But she manages to figure out how to save the world with all of these conflicts in her life. Shoutout to Alex for being an awesome sister. And she has a great social life, something I aspire to have. I’m so upset that the show is ending after season 6. I love Kara so much. Kara is the most amazing woman in the Arrowverse so I’m so sorry to see her go. 

[bush-viper-cutie]

“Leaving Malfoy Manor” || YEAR 3 – Ch.5 (HP au)

                              Chapter List

<-- Last Chapter                          Next Chapter -->

Day posted: 7/24/2020

Word count: 3,153

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

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The next morning Heather was woken up by Feeno again and the smell of fresh bread. He held up her cleaned Quidditch robes and pointed to the breakfast on the nightstand. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, dreading seeing Draco again. The rest of her day yesterday was spent studying on the bed, free to spread out all her books without the fear that one of the Dursleys would barge in at any second.

“Tell him I’ll be right there,” she groaned and sat up, rubbing the dried drool from her chin.

“Feeno will take you,” he dropped her uniform and popped out of sight.

She changed slowly, purposely trying to keep Draco waiting, and exited the room. She pretended like she couldn’t see Feeno and walked ahead of him as best she could. He tugged on her robes but she marched on – lightly whacking him with the end of her broom – the way he showed her yesterday until she reached the outside.

Draco flew down and threw the Quaffle at her, “We’ll do my drills and then yours.”

Heather threw the Quaffle back, “No, we didn’t even get to my drills yesterday. We’ll start with mine.”

He threw his head back and groaned, “Fine. What are they?”

She listed off what he was supposed to do and explaining how Adrian and Marcus partnered with her for throws and dives. Normally Marcus just had her do dodging and distracting maneuvers as defense, but if she was going to stay on the team this year, she felt she had to do more.

“Make sure you’re really aggressive, ok? I can take it. During tryouts we might be up against… larger… opponents and we should be read.”

Draco nodded, “So, what? Kick your broom and elbow you when I can?”

Heather bit her lip and nodded, “Y-yeah… That should be fine.”

She touched off the ground and practiced her catching as Draco and her sped around his yard, throwing the Quaffle back and forth. Next they started higher and dove while catching, followed by sharp turn throws, and finally back-to-forward throws and catches. Draco kept dropping the ball, but Feeno kept the ball in play as best he could.

“Ok, I’ll try to get the Quaffle over there, and you try to knock me off my broom.”

Draco flew away and readied himself for a full intersecting tackle. Heather gripped her broom tight and shot forward. Draco followed her lead and stuck his arm out, ready to knock her out of the air. Heather dropped the Quaffle down to her feet, caught it and held it tight, and pressed herself to the handle, ducking under his outstretched arm as he passed. The second she cleared him she tried grabbing the Quaffle again and dropped it. It appeared in the air in front of her thanks to Feeno, and she took it, slowing down to a stop. Draco flew back with a weird look on his face.

“What’s that called!” he took the Quaffle and threw it up, “Can you do it again?”

Heather shrugged, “I made it up… and I can try. Let’s do it again, exactly like that.”

The next three attempts ended in both brooms colliding and bruised skulls and ribs. They were on their fourth attempt and Heather managed to drop the Quaffle down to catch with her legs and ducked like last time. The second she cleared his hesitant arm, she twirled in the air and dropped the Quaffle when her feet were up, catching it in her arms and twirling right side up again.

She turned and smiled at Draco, “That was cool!”

He rolled his eyes but smiled, “Don’t grow your head like your brother, Potter. When will we ever need you to do that?”

She joined him in the center, “Well I want to make more points, so I need to learn how to keep the Quaffle on me.”

“You? You can’t even throw as far as Flint. Let alone Pucey.”

Heather’s smile dropped. He was right about that. Marcus and Adrian had real strength and used their full power to fling the Quaffle through the hoops.

“My turn, same as yesterday.”

The next few hours were spent on perfecting Draco’s reflexes and flying focus. He seemed more confident diving and was sure he came close to matching Harry’s natural talents as a Seeker. They headed inside again for a late lunch and took the same seats as before.

This time they were served pasta like the kind Uncle Vernon often brought home for Dudley after important meetings. She always imagined the restaurant he went to was very fancy because every leftover pasta brought home had a little green leaf at the top. She savored the creamy sauce and licked her lips, not wanting to waste a drop.

“Are we done for the day?” she looked over at Draco and saw him nod with a mouthful of pasta. “Will you show me your library then?” She wondered what sort of books they had, or if other wizards could even have a library as gran as Hogwarts’.

“It’s just a library. But fine. As long as you don’t touch anything I tell you not to,” he shrugged.

After the pasta was gone she followed Draco to the library, keeping her hands to herself, as he went through naming sections. Most of the books seemed pretty boring compared to the selections in the Hogwarts Library and she could only assume all of these books were there for Draco’s parents only.

He stopped at a section with a thin grey veil covering the bookcase, “Behind there is the Dark Arts books.”

Heather reached out to lift the veil but Draco stopped her.

“If I’M not allowed to look at them, I won’t allow YOU to. Father says when I’m older he’ll personally go through them with me.” He crossed his arms, looking smug, “He says I might be a natural with it since I get good grades in Defense Against the Dark Arts without even trying.”

Heather laughed, “Yeah we all do. It’s not like the last few teachers were any good,” she squinted, trying to read the names of the books through the veil.

“Well not just there, Potter!” he spat back. “I know loads of hexes too, just wait for this year. Your friends won’t know what hit them.”

“Why do you always have to threaten them? Why can’t you just stay away?” she knew the answer already.

“Your brother’s the one that started it and if he doesn’t back down then one day he’ll regret – ”

The door opened and a woman with blonde hair walked in, holding her arms crossed with a tight face devoid of any emotion except for the anger in her eyes. Heather watched her uncross her arms and hold her hands politely over her stomach. Her lips were thins as she studied the scene and looked over Heather.

“Draco, why don’t you and your friend go play outside? Away from the library,” she smiled and motioned for the doors.

Heather looked at Draco. He nodded and pushed Heather towards the door. If his mother wasn’t there, she would have elbowed him for pushing her but since she was Heather only scowled. They made their way back down and outside to sit on one of the stone steps.

“Why can’t we be in there?” Heather remembered that somewhere in the house the Malfoys kept several illegal dark arts things that Mr. Weasley keeps trying to find. Where was it he said they were hidden?

Draco looked at her intensely, trying to determine how he should respond. He frowned and leaned in, trying to look as menacing as possible without Crabbe and Goyle there to back him up, “Keep your mouth shut about it. It doesn’t leave this house or I’ll deal with you myself.” He glanced back in towards the house, “Let’s just say there’s books in there that wouldn’t even be allowed in the restricted section. I’m not allowed to talk about them.”

“Is that… legal?”

“Thinking of telling the Weasleys? Well don’t bother. That old fool knows all the books my Father has. Books aren’t considered artifacts if they’re for learning and don’t harm the readers just for reading. Wizard law.”

Heather looked back at the house, “Where do people get books like that? I’ve been to the Dark Arts section and I haven’t seen any too dangerous for school. They mainly just explain stuff… actually they don’t really have any spells in them…”

Draco flicked a flower head off the stem with his thumb, “You don’t. Not anymore. The Ministry regulates what’s published now. Only powerful wizard families have those types of books. Obviously why I have some,” he looked smug again. “They’re too scared to let wizards learn those spells.”

The sun was getting close to setting and the air outside turned chilly as it waved through the leaves above and trimmed grass below. It was awkward sitting next to Draco, especially being somewhere between despising him and getting along – though leaning more on despising. She supposed she was lucky he hasn’t said anything worth punching him for.

“I’m going to go study,” Draco stood up and brushed his trousers off.

Heather frowned, “What, for the rest of the day? Really?”

“I’m too tired to fly so what else can we do. Crabbe and Goyle aren’t able to hang out – ”

“Can I see your room?” She read in one of Aunt Petunia’s home décor magazines that someone’s house was a view into their soul, and if there was any soul she wanted to see, it was Draco’s. She imagined his room would be filled with portraits of himself and his family, along with shiny jewel encrusted statues, something that screamed ‘son of a rich wizard’.

His interest looked peaked, “Alright. Follow me.”

He led her to the entrance hall and up the main stairs and up the right ones leading to the hall of doors across the balcony from her room. She turned into the hall but noticed Draco opening the wood door to their immediate left towards the rest of the second floor.

She followed him through the door. She thought it would lead into the library like the one across the balcony, but was instead faced with a set of stairs leading to the third floor. The stairs didn’t creak and groan like the Dursleys’ and the railing was very smooth. Her palm glided up the wood effortlessly.

“Father’s study, parent’s room, and mine,” he pointed and turned the knob to the far door.

Heather let her mouth drop. It wasn’t the large bookcases, large bed, beautiful wallpaper, or vibrant green carpet that matched the sheer curtains hung over glass double doors that probably lead to a balcony that made her mouth hang open dumbly. It was all the posters of the Falmouth Falcons covering the walls with a few smaller posters of Puddlemere United. It was as bad as Ron’s room.

“So the Falmouth Falcons are your favorite team, then?” Heather looked at the giant banner of their motto.

Draco spotted her staring at the banner. “‘Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads.’ Flint says he keeps asking to make that our Slytherin Quidditch motto, but Professor Snape won’t let him.”

She walked over to a little pile of marbles jumping over each other on the ground, almost seeming to be in the middle of a game with each other. Draco’s owl hooted at her from the windowsill and she nodded at it. Opposite the bed was a desk and a pile of magazines with amazing brooms from prototypes to non-tournament legal hobby ones flying around the covers and spines. Draco fell onto his bed and picked up the magazine already open on his bed, continuing on whatever page he was on.

“How many of your rooms fit into mine?” he made a square with his fingers and moved it along the air, “I’m going to guess four.”

She crossed her arms, “Three. Actually.” She spotted a Quidditch book with a golden arm breaking a broom with its fist on the floor, “‘Quidditch Crunches, Crouches, and Curls’?”

“Oh. Yeah, not many exercises for Seekers in there.” He walked over and picked it up, flipping to the Chaser section, “That might interest you, and if you can manage it – though I doubt it, Potter – it could help give you a better chance during tryouts AND benefit the team.”

She looked through all the exercises starting with the easier ones and ending on a picture of a man holding the jaws of a giant alligator open, “I could do some of these after my drills, and the easy ones I can do anywhere.” She started to get excited, “I could get better at throwing the Quaffle! I could score points!”

She could imagine herself now, Adrian and Marcus actually passing the Quaffle to her with the intention of helping HER score. Beating the all Weasley team next summer with her incredible apple throwing strength. Being strong enough to hold back Harry from doing something stupid like lunging at Draco.

She walked over to Draco’s large mirror and held up her arm, “How long do muscles take to grow?”

He shrugged and flipped the magazine page, “There might be a potion that speeds it up, but maybe a week?”

She laughed, “It takes longer than a week… I’m pretty sure…” She flipped to the first exercise labeled ‘Barrel pushes’ and dropped to the floor, “It says advanced wizards will put a barrel of seahogs inside and if your back isn’t straight they’ll fall out and burn you… but maybe this book could work instead. Will you put it on me?”

Draco groaned, “No more favors or you’ll owe me. MORE.” He placed the book on her back and stepped away, watching as she tried pushing up with her arms.

“Step one…” She groaned and shut her eyes tight until she felt her arms extend all the way with elbows locked. “Step two…” Slowly she tried lowering herself until her nose touched the soft carpet. “One… of fifty… repeated thrice.”

After reaching twenty barrel pushes she gave up in time for Draco to be called down to eat dinner with his family. He invited her half-heartedly but she declined and accepted for Feeno to bring her up her dinner. There was no way she was going to sit down at a table with all the Malfoys… His mother hadn’t even greeted her earlier.

Draco led her back to her room and within minutes Feeno delivered a fresh plate of steak and roasted potatoes with baked sprouts on the side. She sat in bed eating away and flipping through the pages, writing everything down in detail for use after she left the Malfoy Manor.

She stayed the full week, practicing all the drills and doing as many exercises as she could manage. Once Draco tried to join in, but gave up quickly saying he had forgotten something, but she knew he hadn’t. By the last day she stood by her mirror, frowning at the lack of muscles she had grown. In the back of her head she had been hoping Draco was right about it only taking one week.

After Mr. Malfoy had left for work, Feeno floated her trunk down to the fireplace in the entrance hall where Draco was already dressed and waiting.

“Better not tell anyone you were here, got it?” he handed her a small green bag of powder with the letter ‘M’ in the middle.

She took it and stepped into the fireplace with her trunk, “I won’t. Pansy would get too annoying.” She poured the powder into her hand and threw it down and did her best to whisper the location, “Leaky Cauldron.”

Once again, she was thrust into a humid tornado of commotion until she stepped out in the dusty backroom of the leaky cauldron. She dusted off her hair and clothes – blew dust away from her toad – and pushed the door open labeled ‘To Counter’ and spotted Tom serving drinks to a very chipper old witch. As soon as she stepped into view Tom came around the counter and took her trunk.

“Ah, Miss Potter. I didn’t see you come in! Mrs. Wogsen was talking my ear off – but I won’t talk yours off.”

Heather gave him a small chuckle and looked at the stairs.

“Yes, your room. It’s across the hall from Harry Potter! – er – Your brother.”

“Thank you…” Heather followed him up the stairs and looked around her room. It was better than their room… but not by much. And definitely didn’t compare to the Malfoy’s guest bedroom.

“Shall I let Harry Potter know you’re here?” Tom turned to knock on Harry’s door excitedly but she stopped him quickly.

“Let him sleep longer, I know what time he wakes up,” she needed a shower before she saw him, not wanting to smell like burnt wood when she was supposed to have arrived by car.

She closed the door and dug out new clothes, placing them next to the small sink. She dropped down to the tile floor and did as many exercises as she could before ripping off her sweaty clothes and taking a warm bath in the cramped tub. She missed the nice smelling bubbles and large soft towels. The towels here smelled weird like the water and were as rough as the bedsheets.

No wonder Draco was so rude all the time. She’d only spent a week at the Manor and she was already complaining about everything. “Being rich makes everything stink,” she drained the tub and watched it gurgle and pop. She jumped onto the bed and groaned as a spring poked her side, “I’ll never live rich again.”

She made a checklist of all the homework that needed to be done before school started, along with all the materials that they needed. She checked off all her assignments and left the little squares empty for Harry. She checked off the ‘Monster Book of Monsters’ for the both of them and added ‘Refill money bags’ to the list.

She was ready and prepared to see Harry and marched over to his door, excited to start checking things off, and knocked three times, “Harry! Are you awake?” She heard a groan.

“No. Give me an hour!”

“An hour? How late did you sleep!”

“…Not late… not very late. It’s just early.”

It was twelve. She sighed and walked back to her room and slowly laid down. She was desperate to get the last week over with. She wanted to be back at Hogwarts. She wanted to get started on learning. And she wanted to hear crowds chant her name like they chanted Harry’s. She was determined to win the house cup back.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

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Super Sarcastic Online Community Posts Crappy Movie Details (170 Pics)

Ah, movie details. We all have a favorite film or two and we just love sharing with our friends all the details hidden throughout them, to show off that we’re real fans. But what about less-than-hidden, in-your-face, really-really-bad movie details?

Well, there’s an entire Reddit community that’s dedicated to sharing those—the worst, most boring, and crappiest movie details ever. And it’s all for the sake of having a laugh.

These redditors are great at using irony and there’s so much sarcasm and humor on the subreddit, it’s hard to stay afloat sometimes. Scroll down for the crappiest movie details and Bored Panda's interview with one of the subreddit's moderators, upvote the best (worst?) posts, and let us know if you have any similar details to share about your fave films, Pandas.

#1 In Pixar’s Up (2009) Carl And Ellie Break Into Their Paradise Falls Savings Jar In Order To Pay For Carl’s Hospital Bill, This Is Actually A Clever Reference To The Fact That The American Healthcare System Is Literal Garbage.

Image credits: ShaquilleOatmeal33

#2 In Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017), Dwayne Johnson's Avatar Did Not Have The Power To Read The Map. This Is Because Paper Beats Rock.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#3 Actors In Black And White Movies Were Often Putting Their Lives In Danger During Driving Scenes, As They Weren't Able To Tell If The Traffic Light Was Red Or Green.

Image credits: tommystjohnny

Redditor Merari01, one of the subreddit's moderators, told Bored Panda that their top mod "saw an opening in the market" and started up the community in 2017.

"People on reddit love making silly jokes and puns. There's lots of in-jokes and running gags and that makes a good breeding ground for playfully memeing in the context of movies," sub mod Merari01 explained why the sub is as successful as it is. They referenced this post as a great example of the community's playfulness.

The mod also revealed that plenty of internet users get mixed up "all the time," don't notice the sarcasm, and think that the posts on the sub are 100% serious. "It's part of the fun," they said.

#4 During The Filming Of Jurassic Park (1993), T-Rex Was Known To Sweat Profusely As It Was His First Major Role In 55 Million Years.

Image credits: fletchDigital

#5 The Lion King (1994) Correctly Predicted The Entire Plot For The Lion King (2019)

Image credits: bobbytabl3s

#6 In Independence Day (1996) The Dog Boomer Survives, Which Makes Him An Ok Boomer

Image credits: Zaptagious

The subreddit was founded just over 3 years ago in July 2017 and it’s still going strong. Since then, the community has grown to over 511k members who eagerly wait for the newest posts that might just make any movie buffs giggle as they hide their faces.

Crappy movie details are one thing, but crappy movies are something altogether different. So, what makes a bad movie, well, bad?

Movies that perform well at the box office, get roaring reviews from critics, and top IMDb lists for the ‘Top 10 [Insert Favorite Genre] Movies of the Year’ don’t automatically make them good. Successful? Sure. Popular? Definitely! Good? It depends.

#7 In Game Of Thrones Season 8, Daenerys’ Last Words Are “We Break The Wheel Together” Which Spelled Backwards Says “Rehtegot Leehw Eht Kaerb Ew” Which Doesn’t Make Sense Just Like The Rest Of Season 8.

Image credits: ostlert

#8 In The Harry Potter Film Series, The Titles All Include “Harry Potter” This Is A Subtle Nod To The Name Of Harry Potter The Main Character Of The Series.

Image credits: xDhezz

#9 In Star Wars Episode 9, Kylo Ren Receives A Trumpet From ...black Widow? Wait What

Image credits: DumplingBoiii

A small budget and an overly ambitious narrative can wreck a movie even if the director’s intentions were good. Newsweek points out the obvious fact that bad movies have terrible acting. Whether its newbie actors paying their dues or professional stars off their game during a new project, stilted and cringeworthy acting won’t win any praises from the crowd.

Unless they’re going for a ‘so bad it’s good’ sorta vibe. In fact, we tend to love bad movies like ‘The Room’ and ‘Sharknado’ because they make us feel just like film critics.

“These films are humorous because they are incredulously awful and you can’t believe that anyone could produce something that bad and think it’s OK. The other thing is it gives you a sense of superiority and a sense of mastery and competence because if you can recognize why it’s bad, you have expertise in this area of film consumption. It makes you feel like an expert film critic,” Salford senior lecturer in psychology Dr. Adam Galpin told New Statesman.

#10 In Avengers Endgame, Fat Thor Is The Butt Of Many Jokes, This Is Because Marvel Thinks Survivor’s Guilt And Ptsd Are Funny Subjects.

Image credits: JoelTLoUisBadass

#11 In Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) Rami Malek Was Wearing Fake Teeth Because Letting Him Wear Freddie Mercury's Real Teeth Would Have Been Unethical And Really Messed Up

Image credits: Ffailix

#12 In Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Captain Jack Sparrow Attempts To Pull The Black Pearl All By Himself. This Is Symbolic Of Johnny Depp Carrying The Whole Weight Of The Franchise On His Shoulders, And Was Worn Out By The Time Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Went Into Production.

Image credits: i-got-a-jar-of-rum

#13 The Dark Knight (2008): Despite Being A Murderous Maniac With No Regard For Human Life, The Joker Still Takes Special Precautions To Wear A Mask Around The Vulnerable. This Is Because He Is Not A Fu**ing Idiot

Image credits: Rickmundo

#14 In The Sonic The Hedgehog Movie Trailer You Can See 22 Coins Instead Of Stars In The Paramount Logo. This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact That This Movie Will Make 22 USD At The Box Office.

Image credits: andresrinky

#15 Action ?

Image credits: ShitFilmDetails

#16 In The Matrix, A Kid Tells Neo He Has To Realize “There Is No Spoon”. However, If You Look Closely You Can Notice There Is A Spoon In The Scene

Image credits: Haleyisabitch

#17 In Breaking Bad (2008-2013) Walt Jr. Has Trouble Hitting The Brakes. He Is Braking Bad

Image credits: StatusBrowser

#18 The Film 1917, Filmed In 2019, Is Claimed To Have Been A One-Shot Movie. This Is Impossible, As There Were Way Too Many Guns Fired.

Image credits: refusalskills

#19 In The Great Dictator (1940), Charlie Chaplin Used Two "X" Instead Of Swastika To Avoid Getting Demonetize On Youtube

Image credits: Gino1337

#20 In 127 Hours (2010) James Franco Is Seen Cutting Off His Arm To Free Himself From A Boulder Although In Real Life James Kept His Arm, This Is Because James Franco Is A Coward Who Can't Commit To A Roll

Image credits: JayMan505

#21 In Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, "Dark Rey" Hisses At Rey And Her Teeth Turn Into Fangs. I Wish I Was Joking, But This Actually Happens In The Movie.

Image credits: imgur.com

#22 In Iron Man (2008), Iron Man Is Green Because I Am Colorblind.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#23 In The Force Awakens, Adam 'Driver' Kills Harrison 'Ford'. This Is A Reference To The Fact I Crashed My Dads Focus.

Image credits: Awlatif10

#24 In Game Of Thrones, S8e4, You Can Clearly See A Starbucks Cup In One Scene. This Is A Subtle Nod To How The Show Runners Literally Don’t Give A Fu*k Anymore.

Image credits: Cleverly_Clearly

#25 In The Batman Trilogy, There Were No Crows. This Is Because Dr Crane Did A Good Job As A Scarecrow.

Image credits: Ramlal_

#26 In The Dark Knight(2008) Joker Burns A Pile Of Cash, Which Is Illegal In The Us. This Little Detail Implies That Joker Might Be A Bad Person.

Image credits: Bonfire-GTK

#27 In Avengers: Endgame, Rhodes Admits To Nebula He “Wasn’t Always Like This”, Which Is True.

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#28 In The Movie Up (2009), Russell Has A Round Appearance. This Is Because He Is Obese.

Image credits: CaptainTologist

#29 In Men In Black (1997), Will Smith Points To The Flashlight To Signify... Sh*t I Forget Why

Image credits: ___Turd_Ferguson___

#30 In Spectre (2015), James Bond Says “I Won’t Be Long.” This Is Correct, As Bond Remains At A Normal Size Throughout The Film.

Image credits: Whysong823

#31 Mulan (2020) Is Currently Having A Difficult Time Getting Positive Reviews. This Is Due The Movie Not Getting Any Reviews, As It Is Not Out Yet.

Image credits: Peregrine__x

#32 In Doctor Strange (2016), Doctor Strange Can Be Seen Defeating His Enemy, An Apple. This Is Because An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#33 The Sandcrawler At The End Of The Rise Of Skywalker(2019) Was Actually Filmed By A Giant

Image credits: ChristianServerJesus

#34 In Cars (2006) Lightning Mcqueen Shows His Dishonesty Early In The Film When He States "I Am Speed" When Actually He Is In Fact, A Car.

Image credits: Jonhinchliffe10

#35 In Shaun Of The Dead (2004), The Entire Movie Is In Hindi. This Is Because I Pirated It And Downloaded The Wrong Torrent.

Image credits: Gamerguybix

#36 During The Final Scene From The Dark Knight Rises, Alfred Is Seen Tilting His Head Forward Slightly, And Then Tilting His Head Back To Its Original Position. This Is A Nod

Image credits: aaron020

#37 Hanks For All The Laughs!

Image credits: SleepyGary5

#38 Joaquin Phoenix Chose This Outfit Himself For This Scene To Pay Homage To His All Time Favourite Movie Star; Mclovin

Image credits: Ares_24

#39 Despite His Name, Actor Adam Driver Was Not Consider For A Role In Baby Driver (2017). This Is Because He Was 33 When The Film Came Out, Meaning He Was An Adult Driver.

Image credits: WorkThatFunction

#40 In The Movie Pulp Fiction, The Glowing Object In The Briefcase Is Actually Tarantino's N-Word Pass That He Received From Samuel L. Jackson On Set.

Image credits: KrabbyDaddy2729

#41 This Is The Suicide Squad (2016). Notice How Jeffery Epstein Isn’t Part Of The Group.

Image credits: aceRocknut

#42 In Avengers: Endgame (2019), Thanos Says "I Am Inevitable". This Is A Mistake From The Filmmakers Because He Is Actually Thanos.

Image credits: RayInRed

#43 In Joker (2019), Nobody Laughs At Arthur’s Jokes. This Is Because He Never Says ‘Bazinga’ So The Audience Knows When To Laugh.

Image credits: LiberalsTurnFrogsGay

#44 In Marriage Story (2019) Adam Driver Immediately Begins Crying After He Tells Scarlett Johansson That He Wishes She Was Dead. This Is Because He Realized That He Spoiled Avengers Endgame.

Image credits: Finecollection

#45 In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Captain America Attempts To Choke Ultron. This Is Because He Is From The 1930s And Doesn’t Understand What A Robot Is.

Image credits: ARK_133

#46 The Devil Is In The Details

Image credits: Andy_McBoatface

#47 In World War Z (2013) Israel Welcomes Palestinians To Their Country, This Is Why The Movie Is Classified As Fiction.

Image credits: jamesdaedalus

#48 In Spiderman Far From Home, Peter Likes Mj. Possibly Suggesting That He Is Heterosexual.

Image credits: Awlatif10

#49 To Prepare For His Role In Black Panther (2018) Michael B Jordan Was Bitten By Over 100 Mosquitoes

Image credits: m_ansari

#50 In Taylor Swift’s 2015 Song “Blank Space” She Says, “I’ll Be The Actress Starring In Your Bad Dreams.” This Is Foreshadowing To Her Role In Cats (2019), Which Will Give All Its Viewers Nightmares

Image credits: pikachuIsMyFurrybae

#51 In Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), There Is A Scene Where- Oh Fu*k My Contact Lense Fell Out S*it I Can’t Fu**ing See Anything

Image credits: yatticus

#52 In The Beginning Of Joker (2019) There’s A Familiar Face In The Mirror.

Image credits: 123batman456

#53 In James Cameron’s Titanic (1997), Rather Than Ending The Movie With The Ship Sinking And Everyone Freezing To Death, The Film Ends Romantically, With Jack Painting Rose Naked. This Is A Reference To The Fact That My Mom Made Me Shut The Movie Off After Kate Winslet Shows Her Boobies On Screen.

Image credits: reddit.com

#54 Nick Fury's Name Has Only One Eye In It.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#55 In The Movie The Martian (2015) The Main Character Says "I'm Going To Survive", Within The First 10 Minutes. This Foreshadows That The Main Character Does Infact Survive And He Spoils The Movie For The Viewers. Fu*k You Matt Damon You Spoiling Bit*h

Image credits: BobaMyBoba

#56 In The Force Awakens (2015), The Stormtroopers Look Very Cool, I Think. That Is All.

Image credits: waterdidnuffingcool

#57 In Spider-Man (2002), Uncle Ben Tells Peter That He’ll Drive Him To The Library. This Is Foreshadowing For The Very Next Scene, In Which Uncle Ben Drives Peter To The Library.

Image credits: Batman219

#58 Most Of The Mars Scenes In 'The Martian' (2015) Were Actually Filmed On Earth

Image credits: DeathToChickens

#59 My Biologist Friend Went Nuts During Avengers : Infinity War (2018)

Image credits: Akoibon

#60 In Interstellar (2014), The Main Character Tries To Find A New Home For The Younger Generation. This Is A Reference To The Fact That This Movie Is Science-Fiction, Because In Real Life, Boomers Don't Actually Give A Sh*t About Younger People.

Image credits: TheProfessionalGay

#61 Much To My Dismay, Aquaman (2018) Is Not A Sequel To The Waterboy (1998).

Image credits: TriforceUnleashed

#62 The Winter Soldier Gets His Name From The Red Star On His Arm, Which Symbolizes Christmas, A Winter Holiday

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#63 In Star Wars A New Hope, Obi Wan Says, “You’ll Never Find A More Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy.” This Is A Reference To The Star Wars Fanbase.

Image credits: reddit.com

#64 The 2013 Version Of The Great Gatsby Has Some Anachronistic Elements, For Example, Neither Toby Maguire Nor Leonardo Dicaprio Were Alive In The 1920s

Image credits: reddit.com

#65 In Joker (2019), They Only Had One Prop Clock. They Didn't Bother Changing The Time On It For Different Scenes.

Image credits: Chewy12

#66 In Return Of The Jedi (1983) Obi Wan Tells Luke That He Has A Sister, And Luke Correctly Guesses It’s Leia. This Is Because There’s No Other Women In The Original Trilogy So It Was An Easy Guess.

Image credits: LemonStains

#67 In Avengers:endgame (2019) Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) Can Be Seen Wearing Red And Embracing Spiderman(Tom Holland).this Is A Reference To A Picture My Mom Took Of Me And My Brother When We Were Kids.

Image credits: ihaventseenmulan

#68 In Avengers: Engame (2019), Loki Is Depicted Wearing A Facemask Over His Mouth, But Not His Nose, Rendering It Ineffective In Fighting The Spread Of Covid-19. This Demonstrates, Without A Doubt, That Loki Is A "Bad Guy", Because People Who Do This In Real Life Are Bad Guys.

Image credits: LAND0KARDASHIAN

#69 In The TV-Show The Simpsons, Bart Constantly Pushes Moe Szyslak Into Near-Violent Rage. This Is Because Moe Is A Bart Ender.

Image credits: JTRuno

#70 In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Avengers Tower Is Marked With A Large “A”. This Could Possibly Stand For “Avengers”.

Image credits: justuseredditforporn

#71 In The Film “Suicide Squad”(2016) Deadshot Played By Will Smith Proclaims “So That’s It Huh, We’re Some Kind Of Suicide Squad?” This Is A Subtle Nod That They Are In Fact Some Kind Of Suicide Squad In The Movie “Suicide Squad”

Image credits: GALL0TT0

#72 Mmmm I'm So Hungry

Image credits: GoCommitBruh

#73 In Dark Phoenix (2019), It's Explained That Quicksilver Doesn't Actually Move Fast, But Rather Slows Down Time Around Him. What I Just Said Might Be True, Might Not. You Wouldn't Know, You Didn't Watch The Movie. Neither Did I.

Image credits: DaddyBreadLoaf

#74 In The Rise Of Skywalker (2019), Darth Vader's Destroyed Mask Is Frequently Displayed. This Is A Nod To Disney Destroying Darth Vader's Character Arc.

Image credits: mr_not_a_bot

#75 This Explanatory Scene Was Cut From Batman Begins, After Complaints From Michael Bay That It Contained Too Few Explosions.

Image credits: GloriousCaptainHodor

#76 In Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), There Is A Character Called The Doof Warrior That Rides A Van Made Out Of Amps While Playing An Electric Guitar That Shoots Fire. I Don’t Have Anything Else To Add But Remember That S*it? That Movie Fu**in Ruled, Let’s Watch It

Image credits: 36chambersoffun

#77 In The Toy Story Movies, Andy's Mom Never Remarries. This Is A Subtle Nod To How Andy And His Mom Were Better Off Without A Stepdad, Just Like How My Mom And I Are Better Off Without Trevor. Stop Dating My Mom Trevor You Stupid Di*k.

Image credits: DickhardCain

#78 In Robocop (1987) Robocop Kills Numerous People Even Though Asimov's Laws Of Robotics Should Prevent A Robot From Harming Humans. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Laws Don't Actually Apply To Cops.

Image credits: HanzoShotFirst

#79 In The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne Goes On A Lengthy Murder Spree. This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact I Bought The Wrong Christian Bale Film

Image credits: SandIsCourse

#80 Despite Being Called “The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas” The Boy Actually Never Wears Pyjamas, But Instead A Prison Uniform.

Image credits: Mr_Avocado_Man

#81 Don’t Take Business Advice From A Disney Movie

Image credits: wheat_thans1

#82 A Plothole In The Godfather Part 2 (1974) Is That The Statue Of Liberty Can Be Seen In The 1910’s Even Though It Didn’t Come To America Till..... Nevermind I Was Wrong. Just Googled It And It Arrived In 1885. My Bad Guys

Image credits: KermitTheFraud92

#83 In Hamilton (2020), After The Reynolds Pamphlet Is Published, The Song 'Never Gonna Be President Now' Is Sung. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Being Involved In A Sex Scandal Used To Mean That You Would Not Elected President.

Image credits: Patmac693

#84 In Skyscraper (2018), The Rock Says, "I Won't Ever Forget This." This Is Actually A Lie Because Everybody Forgot About This Movie

Image credits: Yolooncey

#85 There Goes The Planet.

Image credits: Unleashtheducks

#86 In The Season 3 Of Friends, David Schwimmer Is Seen Inside The Fountain. That's A Direct Reference To His Name Because He Is Schwimming Inside That Fountain.

Image credits: imgur.com

#87 In The Movie Joker (2019), You Can See Arthur Sitting In Front Of A Mirror Shedding A Single Tear While Applying Make Up. This Is Because He Had Just Been Forbidden By The Director To Write The Word 'Damaged' On His Forehead.

Image credits: ExecutiveAlpaca

#88 J.k Rowling Confirmed This

Image credits: piqazuzu

#89 In The Movie Shazam! (2019) We Can See That The Movie Bares A Striking Resemblance To The Movie Pet Cemetery (2019). This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact That I Entered The Wrong Theater.

Image credits: GamerMan197092

#90 In The Dark Knight (2008), Heath Ledger Accidentally Blew Up A Hospital. Nolan Then Wrote That Scene Into The Movie So The Police Wouldn’t Investigate Further

Image credits: Lasagna-noodles

#91 The Movie Contagion (2011) Has Often Been Depicted As A Realistic Movie. However, This Is Untrue As The Us Government - In The Film - Has Been Represented As Acting Proactively And Accordingly To The Pandemic Threat

Image credits: uncle_tiger

#92 Throughout The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America Wears A Red, White And Blue Suit. This Shows That The Designers Of The Suits Are Idiots, As These Are The Colours Of The British Flag.

Image credits: dildodicks

#93 In Avengers Endgame: Ant Man Says That The Five Hours He Spent In The Quantum Realm Equated To Five Years In The Real World. This Is Subtle Reference To The Fact That Over The Last Five Years Paul Rudd Has Aged Five Hours.

Image credits: disablednerd

#94 The Only Two White Actors In Black Panther Are Martin Freeman, Who Played Bilbo Baggins, And Andy Serkis Who Played Gollum. They're The Tolkien White Guys.

Image credits: RayInRed

#95 In Spiderman (2002), Despite Popular Thinking, Peter Parker Is Not Spiderman, Because His Head Is Too Fuc**ing Big.

Image credits: milo1711

#96 In The Film The Neverending Story (1984), If You Watch Closely At Around 1h45m You Can See That It Does Actually End.

Image credits: sekearney95

#97 During The Filming Of Attack Of The Clones, Natalie Portman And Hayden Christensen, In Their Scenes Together, Played A Prank On George Lucas By Pretending They Had Never Acted Before. Lucas Loved The Prank So Much, He Ended Up Using Most Of The Footage In The Final Cut.

Image credits: genetics74

#98 In Birds Of Prey (2020) Thanos Shows Up And Kills Half The Universe. No-One Can Prove Me Wrong Because No-One Saw This Movie.

Image credits: tridea2514

#99 In Monsters, Inc. (2001), Monsters Come Out Of Doors Instead Of Closets Because They Are Not Gay.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#100 When Terrence Howard Left, Marvel Wanted Robert Downey Jr. To Take Over The James Rhodes Role Based On His Performance In Tropic Thunder (2008). However, He Was Already Playing As Iron Man.

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#101 In John Wick 2 (2017) John Wick Never Gets Shot, Because In Real Life Keanu Reeves Can Dodge Bullets, As Evidenced By His Earlier Film, The Matrix (1999)

Image credits: DungeonsAndDradis

#102 In Toy Story 3 (2010), Mr.potato Turns Himself Into A Pickle For A Brief Period Of Time, Which Is In Fact The Funniest Sh*t I’d Ever Seen.

Image credits: coffee_brownind

#103 The Phrase ‘Far From Home’ In The Movie, Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019), Is A Reference To The Fact That I Had To Drive 18 Mins To Get To The Nearest Theater Which Is The Furthest Away I’ve Been From My House In Nearly Five Years. I Don’t Get Out Much

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#104 In The Dark Knight (2008), Harvey Dent Makes Decisions Based On A Coin Flip, "Making His Own Luck." What Most Don't Realize Is That The Directors Of This Movie Had Already Determined The Result Each Time And The Coin Flip Wasn't Up To Chance.

Image credits: gummygummybear

#105 In This Shot From The Call Of The Wild (2020) They Needed Harrison Ford Looking Dismayed, So They Showed Him Some Footage Of How Shi*ty The Dog Animation Was Going To End Up Looking.

Image credits: Septemberk

#106 In Order For X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) To Receive A Pg-13 Rating, 20th Century Fox Sewed Deadpool's Mouth Shut.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#107 Avengers: Endgame Took Away One Widow To Give Us Another

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#108 In Frozen (2013) You Can See A Clear Example Of Anna Trying To Coax Elsa Out Of Quarantine. But Elsa Understands The Importance Of Staying In. Be Like Elsa.

Image credits: Ghost070607

#109 In Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) I Didn't Understand Why Palpatine Was Back, Not Because I Went To The Bathroom But Because The Movie Never Explains It.

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#110 In Blade Runner (1982), The 20th Of November 2019 Is Shown To Be A Particularly Rainy Day. This Is Subtle Foreshadowing Of The Fact That It Really Did Rain On The 20th Of November 2019.

Image credits: SciFi_Pie

#111 In Contagion (2011), Gwyneth Paltrow Plays A Woman Who Dies After Trying Several Goop Products

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#112 While Filming The Hobbit (2012), Actor Martin Freeman Wore 4 Inch Heels To Reach The Height Of A Hobbit.

Image credits: sharp4th

#113 Spider-Man’s Costume Is Red And Blue, Because Peter Parker Has No Idea What Color Spiders Are.

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#114 In Avengers: Endgame, Tony Stark Was Able To Perfectly Flick Ant-Man Into The Tesseract Case Because He Had Been Practicing By Playing Paper Football With Nebula On The Benatar

Image credits: CaptParzival

#115 In Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) Luke Decided To Force Project Himself To The Battle Of Crait Because At The Time He Was Practicing Social Distancing, Not Wanting To Catch The Coronavirus.

Image credits: Mad_Rascal

#116 American History X (1998) Is The Only Movie Where They Don't Remove Ed Norton's Swatstica Tattoo.

Image credits: MorbidBoltThrower

#117 In Harry Potter And The Philosophaurus’s Stones, We See That Harry Gets An Owl Named Hedwig Despite Having The Ability To Literally Talk To Snakes. This Is Due To The Fact That He Is A Stupid Idiot.

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#118 In Shazam, Superman Only Appears From The Neck Down As There Wasn’t Enough Money In The Budget To Digitally Remove His Mustache

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#119 In Skyfall (2012), Silva Wears A Police Outfit When Trying To Kill M. This Is To Ensure He Does Not Get Arrested For Murder.

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#120 At The End Of Despicable Me (2010), Vector Starts Dancing To Music That He Can't Hear. This Was The Animator's Way Of Depicting The Symptoms Of Hypoxia After The Studio Decided That Animating Vector Fucking Dying From Suffocation Was Too Dark For A Children's Movie.

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#121 For The Film Interstellar To Show The Character Murphy Cooper In Different Ages, Director Christopher Nolan Instead Of Using De-Aging Or Prosthetics, Used A Method Called Hiring Different Actors.

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#122 In Titanic (1996), Leonardo Dicaprio Drowns Himself After Realizing He Slept With A Woman The Same Age As Him.

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#123 In My Girl (1991), A Distraught Vada Stands Over Her Friend And Yells “Where Are His Glasses? He Can’t See Without His Glasses!”. However, He Can’t See Because He’s Dead.

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#124 In San Andreas, Dwayne Johnson Survives Using Nothing But His Muscles And Charm. Or Maybe This Is From Skyscraper? Could Be Hobbes & Shaw? Not Really Sure To Be Honest.

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#125 In The Poster For Pete's Dragon (2016), Young Pete Is Seen Whimsically Resting In His Dragon's Tail. This Means He Is Whimsically Staring Directly At His Dragon's Butthole.

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#126 There Were Many Whacky Errors Caught On Camera In The 2016 Film 'Suicide Squad' That Were Never Caught And Corrected In Post Production. For Example, If You Closely Examine Certain Frames You Will Notice That Someone Accidentally Cast Jared Leto To Play The Joker.

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#127 In The Award-Winning Motion Picture Jojo Rabbit (2019), Taiki Waititi Portrayed Adolf Hitler. This Is Because The Actual Adolf Hitler Was Unavailable At The Time.

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#128 In Transformers (2007), The Main Conflict Revolves Around Gaining The Location Of The Allspark, Which Is In Sam’s Glasses. The Decepticons Could Not Simply Buy The Glasses On Ebay Because They Are Robots And Could Not Pass The Captcha.

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#129 In 13 Reasons Why Season 4 There Is No Refrence To The Coronavirus, Even Though It's Placed In 2020. This Is A Refrence To The Show Making Absolutely No Sense At All.

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#130 In Breaking Bad, The Protagonist Walter White Used To Be Walter Grey Until He Fought The Balrog And Was Reborn.

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#131 Joker (2019) Contains Many Subtle Nods To Jared Leto's Performance In The Role Prior To Joaquin Phoenix.

Image credits: Thumbs0fDestiny

#132 In Dinosaur (2000), All Of The Dinosaurs Shown Are Created By Cgi. This Is Due The The Fact That Dinosaurs Have Been Mostly Extinct Since At Least The Early 1980s.

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#133 In Akira (1988), The Summer Olympics Are Said To Take Place In Tokyo In 2020. However It Is A Mistake On The Director's Part Because The Olympics Were Delayed To 2021 Due To A Certain Viral Outbreak.

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#134 Despite What The Title Would Have You Believe, Ford vs. Ferrari (2019) Is Not A Movie About Harrison Ford Fighting A Sentient Sports Car

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#135 Not Everyone Know This, But Charlie Sheen Been Playing Drug Addict Garth Volbeck Since 1986, When “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” First Came Out, To This Very Day. Staying In Role More Then 30 Years, Amazing.

Image credits: Hey_Jonny_Park

#136 In Captain America: Civil War, A Fed Ex Deliverer Asks If A Tony Stank Lives There. James Rhodes Points To Tony Stark, Lies And Says He Is Tony Stank, Thus Both Committing Mail Fraud.

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#137 In 'The Force Awakens' Rey Has Access To Many Force Powers Because She Had Already Completed The Game Once And Now Is Replaying The Campaign With All Of The Skills From Her Previous Walkthrough

Image credits: Malachi108

#138 When With Tony, The Shirt Peter Wears In Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Is The Same As The One Pepper Wears In Iron Man 3 (2013), A Subtle Nod To The Fact That The Shirt Belongs To Tony And That He Regularly Sleeps With Both Of Them.

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#139 The Final Level Of Black Panther (2018) Requires No Inputs From The Player. This Is Because It Is Actually A Movie, Not A Videogame, Despite The Visuals Suggesting Otherwise.

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#140 Actor Finn Wolfhard Was Not Considered For A Role In The 1990 Screen Adaptation Of Stephen Kings “It” Due This His Being Born In 2002 And The Constraints Imposed By A Linear Understanding Of Time.

Image credits: SleepyGary5

#141 In 22 Jumpstreet (2014), The Famous Line "My Name Is Jeff" Was Completely Off Script, As Channing Tatum Was Actually Replying To A Member Of The Crew Who Asked Him To Do An Impression Of The American Financier And Convicted Sex Offender Who Did Not Kill Himself In Prison.

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#142 In Return Of The Jedi, Luke Skywalker Does Not Turn To The Dark Side. This Is Because Palpatine Forgot To Tell Him The Tragedy Of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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#143 In Wall-E (2008) The Captain Is Physically Incapable Of Wearing The Original Uniform And Just Buttons The Top Button Around His Neck. This Represents R/Moviedetails Incapability Of Understanding The Difference Between A Movie Detail And Really Basic Character Design

Image credits: cuevacuev

#144 Despite Being Unwilling To Sacrifice Vision In Infinity War (2018) To Save The Universe, Captain America Sacrifices The Lives Of Hundreds Of Wakandians To Keep Vision Alive. This Is Subtle Nod To The Fact Cap Is Actually From 1930s America Viewing The Lives Of Black People As Worthless.

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#145 In Aquaman (2018) Meera Says "You're Getting Close To Getting Punched In The Face" Now This Is A Reference To Her Relationship With Her Ex-Husband Johnny Depp

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#146 To Prepare For His Role In The Irishman (2019), Robert De Niro Spent 76 Years Applying His Old-Age Makeup.

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#147 Despite Being Advertised As A Full-Length Movie, Martin Scorsese’s Gangs Of New York (2002) Was Actually A Short Film Only Eight Minutes Long. This Is Because My Ex Decided She Was Too Tired To Finish The Movie And Made Me Turn It Off After Less Than Ten Minutes. Sarah You Bi**h.

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#148 In Joker (2019), Murray Tells Arthur "No Cursing" Before Bringing Him Out. However, Arthur Later Says "You Get What You Fu**ing Deserve" On The Show. This Is A Possible Scriptwriting Oversight.

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#149 In Star Wars: Episode Iv: A New Hope (1977) Luke, Han And Leia Are Trapped In Garbage That Will Eventually Kill Them All. This Is Foreshadowing Of How Garbage The Sequel Trilogy Is.

Image credits: CharlieTheStrawman

#150 The Scene In First X-Men (2000) When Wolverine Sees His Reflection Over Other X-Men Uniforms Foreshadows The Franchise's Future Over-Reliance On The Character.

Image credits: MajorCviklje

#151 In Zootopia (2016), In The Laboratory Of Blue Chemicals, Two Characters Are Referenced As ‘Woolter’ And ‘Jesse’. I Have A Grandson Named Jesse

Image credits: StuartRomano114

#152 In The Movie Venom(2018). Every Time Venom Appears It’s Cgi. This Is Because The Symbiote Was Fired After Finding Homophobic Tweets From 2009 On His Page.

Image credits: geystalin123

#153 Christopher Nolan Famously Hates Cgi. To Achieve The Look Of Paris Flipping Upside Down In Inception (2010), He Called Upon The Powers Of The Eldritch Gods To Actually Fold The City In Half.

Image credits: imgur.com

#154 In Toy Story, Due To Budgetary Constraints, The Animators Had To Reuse The Character Model For Buzz Lightyear For Another Character; Mrs. Nesbitt. They Hid They're Subtle Trickery With A Hat An Apron, But If You Look Closely You Can See She Is Missing The Same Arm Buzz Lost Earlier On.

Image credits: NickE85

#155 In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark Never Recognizes That His Best Friend Looks Completely Different Than Before, Proving That Unfortunately He Is Racist And Thinks All Black People Look Alike

Image credits: random_guy_somewhere

#156 In The Cult Classic Avengers: Endgame (2019), Thanos Hacks Into Nebula’s Brain And Sees The Avengers’ Plan. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Nebula Doesn’t Use Expressvpn Which Would’ve Resulted In The Movie Ending In The First 30 Mins And Also Happens To Be Today’s Sponsor

Image credits: Kart00z

#157 During The Movie Contagion(2011), Gwyneth Paltrow’s Character Dies And An Autopsy Is Performed. During The Autopsy, You Can Clearly See Her Brain, Which Is Impossible, As Nobody With A Brain Sells A Vagina-Scented Candle.

Image credits: grtrevor

#158 In Pulp Fiction (1994) Tarantino Wrote Himself Into The Script So He Could Use The N-Word Pass Samuel L Jackson Gave Him To Its Full Extent

Image credits: milesthewaffleiron

#159 In Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) One Of The Students Holds Her Umbrella By The Tip Of Its Handle, This Represents That Even Though Dora Had Left The Jungle She Was Still Surrounded By Sick Twisted Animals.

Image credits: blaziner

#160 When Obi-Wan Says He Has The High Ground, It’s Actually Subtle Clever Double Speak Meaning He Has The “Moral High Ground”. This Is Because Obi-Wan Didn’t Stab Up A Room Full Of Children.

Image credits: AlicijaBelle

#161 In The Lion King (2019), If You Look Closely You Can Notice The Dust Cloud Spell Out "Sex" In The Sky.

Image credits: RayInRed

#162 In The Famous 90s Classic, Home Alone, Kevin’s Parents Are Extremely Concerned When They Find Out They’ve Left Him Alone. This Is Because They Fear He Will Discover Masturbation And No Christian Son Of Mine Will Ever Do That No Sir.

Image credits: thechanchanman111

#163 In "Die Hard" (1988), Sgt. Al Powell Is A Police Officer Who Feels Bad About Shooting An Unarmed Child, This Is A Reference To The Movie Being Fiction.

Image credits: kneeco28

#164 In Jeremiah Johnson (1975), Robert Redord's Character Gently Moves His Head Up And Down. This Is A Subtle Nod

Image credits: Jonhinchliffe10

#165 In The Little Mermaid (1991), Ariel Meets An African Mermaid From The Ivory Coast. This Is Because Mermaids Are Fictional And Can Be Black.

Image credits: PeterPorky

#166 In Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017), The Character Elton John Is Played By Elton John. Taron Egerton (Who Plays Elton John In Real Life) Was Unavailable For The Role, As He Was Already In The Film As Eggsy.

Image credits: WorkThatFunction

#167 Despite Its Name, Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (2019) Is Shot Almost Entirely In Landscape Mode.

Image credits: mindblower2theMAX

#168 In Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003), When The Bride Is In A Coma, Her Heart Rate Is Recorded To Be 69. Nice.

Image credits: falafel_kraken

#169 In Beauty And The Beast(1991) After Chip Is Turned Back Into A Real Boy He Asks His Mother “Do I Still Have To Sleep In The Cupboard?” Mrs Potts Doesn’t Answer, But Simply Laughs Because Yes, Chip Still Has To Sleep In The Cupboard.

Image credits: iamveryDerp

#170 In The Movie 8 Mile (2002), No Character Is Ever Seen Using A Bathroom. This Is Because You Can't Have Shit In Detroit.

Image credits: Butcher_o_Blaviken

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[lucius-a-malfoy]

Full Audition

TW: Death & Abuse

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME | Leah

AGE | 28

PRONOUNS | She/Her

TIMEZONE |  EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL | 6-7 I work full time but I can be around evenings and weekends plus answer messages during the day

TRIGGERS | Suicide

PREVIOUS RP ACCOUNTS | Prior Lucius Account (I do see him a little darker and different in this group though)

ANYTHING ELSE| Trigger warnings for Abuse and Death in the audition, particularly freeform portion

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER DETAILS | Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, he/him, Pureblood. I would like to use Cody Fern as his FC please

WHAT DREW YOU IN | So the story goes like this: A friend and I were talking about Marauders era RPs and I commented “I just don’t think I could play Lucius.” I then promptly stayed up all night thinking about how I would play him and he just got really under my skin and I realized I in fact could play him. He’s so self righteous and confident, even though he often has no true reason to be other than his family name, and even that confidence is conditional with his father’s voice always chiming in his ear he’s not enough. He’s cool and detached and calculated--he’s the mind behind the madness to me, the expert chess player who isn’t afraid to lose a few pawns to secure the win. 

I think there’s something really interesting to Lucius in your plot though--he’s just lost his father and being thrust into a spot of power and likely leadership. In many ways, I see this leaving Lucius at a bit of a loss. He and his father’s relationship has neer been good, Merlin knows he doesn’t know the first thing about what fatherly love could possibly look like. But he’s always done as his father told him. Always followed Abraxas’s guidance. His father’s alway been the one to point him in the right direction and tell him what to do. Except now he’s not here. And there’s more weight on his shoulders than ever. On top of that, the Mundus Novus is expecting him to step up, to fill his father’s place, to be a leader. It has all the potential for power he’s always wanted. With one twenty tiny little catch. Being a leader in a fledgling rebellion that is ready to step out against not one but two great powers means thinking about other people and, well, that never has been Lucius’s strong suit. 

He’s at a point where he could have everything he’s ever wanted--leadership, power, adoration, glory, the Wizarding World bowing to his feet. But...suddenly...he’s realizing just how much goes into all of that. It’s not that he’s not ready (no...no...of course not, he was totally anticipating his father to just suddenly keel over of Dragon Pox) but it’s a bit overwhelming. Not that he could ever, ever dare let that show to anyone. And the idea of being on the opposite end of Tom Riddle’s wand...well it certainly sounded better when it was just an idea coming out of his father’s mouth. We’re really seeing Lucius at a turning point, seeing just what he has in him and if he had the true ability to lead or if it’s all been a facade all this time.

OCCUPATION AND SOCIAL STATUS | 

Occupation: Improper Use of Magic Department of the Ministry of Magic -- There were only two options for Lucius upon graduation--either become a socialite doing nothing or begin work at the Ministry. And his father would never approve of him being a socialite. So really there was only one option for him upon graduation. The Improper Use of Magic Department was, like most things in his life, a strategic choice. First of course was the practical. Learning how the Ministry pins people for Improper Use means knowing all of the loopholes. It opens up possibilities of knowledge not only for himself, but for the Death Eaters (and now the Mundus Novus). Additionally, when you’re a key figure in organizations like the DE and MN, sometimes you want to find the rule breakers. He’s certainly used his position to scout new recruits for Voldemort’s army and his father was all set to use his new role for just that as well. The second purpose is a bit more on the selfish side--but then aren’t most things with Lucius? He has always been deeply fascinated with dark objects. Hexed daggers, charmed necklaces, portkeys with too much strength to strictly pass Ministry regulations. And what better way to grow his collection than to take them while on the job? A little change of charges here and little switch in evidence found there and look at that, he’s the new owner of a priceless vanishing cabinet. The job serves his purposes just fine--and it’s not like he really needs the money, so what other need is there for a job?

Social Status & Family Name: Everyone in the Wizarding World knows the Malfoy name. Even those outside the UK’s Wizarding World. Calling them a pillar of strength and synonymous with wealth almost does them a disservice. Lucius has always gotten by on his family’s name and reputation and he would have it no other way. They’re not known to be nice, but nice doesn’t get anything done. They’re known for power. They’re known for wealth. They’re known for intelligence. And Lucius will be damned if that ends with him. He can practically hear his father clawing his way out of his coffin at the mere suggestion. In public, the Malfoy name earns you respect and fear or at the very least that people know who you are the second you walk in the room. It’s nothing but wonderful. Behind closed doors? Well...it isn’t just in public that Malfoys are cold and abusive, even to their own. And if it weren’t for the house elves’ extensive healing spells, a young Lucius would have had the bruises to prove that one. Being a Malfoy mean expectation and consequence when you fail to meet those expectations. Yes, Lucius has more on his shoulders now than ever, but even before he walked into the halls of Hogwarts he carried a millenniums long family history he was meant to live up to.

AFFILIATION AND POSITION | 

Death Eaters: Being a Death Eater was never really a choice--sure, he would have chosen it if given the chance, it was after all, everything he had been raised to believe in. But joining the ranks was simply and expectation. His father has known Voldemort long enough that Lucius knows the name Tom Riddle and was among his first disciples. Lucius was raised on all the same ideas of blood purity and blood superiority, raised believing that to be a Death Eater was true glory, that Voldemort was to be a leader to their people that would leave people wondering who Gellert Grindelwald was anyway. Lucius was raised with the ideals early and gained his dark mark at only seventeen, something he bore with pride for years and to an extent still does. But his father spent the last few years whispering in his ear that this wasn’t enough. That this man (because remember, this is just Tom Riddle, a man, a boy, not some monstrous figure too good for a real name) wasn’t one of them, was a half-blood for Merlin’s sake. What would he know about blood purity? 

Mundus Novus: And it was that though that really brought Lucius around to his father’s new idea. There was already a structure in place that said who the best of the best were. There were already twenty-eight families set out to rule over the rest of them. The Malfoys are among them. So why are they serving as soldiers in a war where they ought to be generals? Much the way he was pulled into the Death Eaters early in life, he was an early member of the Mundus, one of the first outside the founding five to enter its ranks, a founding member and bringing his wife with him. He simply doesn’t see why he would settle for being just another wizard in the Death Eater ranks when he could go into legend in the Mundus ranks. He’s already a member of the Twenty Eight. He’s already better than the very mass majority of the Wizarding World. And finally there’s an organization that can see that. 

It is no secret that he’s a member of the Death Eaters and, frankly, it never really has been. Now Mundus has kept a little more tight lipped about their existence at all, but frankly as news of the group’s possible existence, the odds he’ll be tied to it likely won’t take long. He’s not worried about how the Order will react to the news. The so called Dark Lord though...well he is a bit more of a threat.

Within the Death Eaters, Lucius is a Keyholder and a Soldier. Among the Mundus Novus, I see Lucius serving as a Captain and with his father’s passing, all eyes are on him to see just how far he takes the role and how far up the food chain he’ll fight. 

FUTURE PLOTS | What are some plots or connections that you’d like to see played out for your character? Please elaborate on 2-3 plot/connection ideas.

Plots:

Lucius no longer believes Voldemort is the right one to be leading the blood purity charge. He’s not even pureblood himself. But Lucius is still very aware of how strong he is. Truth be told, Lucius is actually scared of him finding out he’s a member of Mundus. He tried to hide his fear, he’s beaten it down for years--the fear of his parents, the fear of failure, fear of people seeing below the carefully crafted facade. I think it will be interesting to play on his fear of Voldemort coinciding with his growing role and responsibility within Mundus Novus. 

I have this little headcanon that the reason he has the cane-wand in Harry Potter times is actually because he needs it. He got injured in the war somehow that couldn’t ever be fully magically healed and actually needs a cane so, well, he we with the most obnoxious design he could find for it. So I am absolutely here for him getting injured at some point.

Connections (of course pending player agreement):

Lucius was surprised that his father actually wanted his input on who should and should not make the ranks of Mundus Novus. And even more surprised when he listened. Lucius made one think very clear to his father--Bellatrix Lestrange was not to be a member.She’s wild and unhinged and while that makes her strong, it also makes her a liability. Her unerring faith to Voldemort only makes things worse. She would be anything but an asset to the cause, no matter how pure her or her husband’s blood line are. He knows Narcissa isn’t pleased with it and god knows Bellatrix won’t be, but it’s for the best. If they’re looking for a good bloodline and one that will be faithful? Well Bellatrix doesn’t make the cut. 

Narcissa Black was always the best of the Black girls by a long stretch. He was glad that of the girls, she was the one his parents chose for him. That’s what it was really, their parents setting them up, practically an arranged marriage really. Not that Lucius had  any qualms about it, he had his eye on her so soon after her arrival at Hogwarts. She was beautiful and smart and looks enough like him that their children would be sure to still bear a resemblance to him. She’s a perfect match for him really. But he doesn’t love her. He doesn’t even really know what love is truthfully. But whatever it is, he doesn’t have it for Narcissa. He’s said all the right things, made all the right moves, feigned it just enough that maybe, just maybe she believes he does. Because even if he doesn’t love her, he needs her. She’s a good match, good blood, good looks, a good partner, and the right person to bring the next Malfoy heir into the world. Narcissa is another in a long line of strategic choices in his life and he won’t let this one be the one that falls apart.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep everyone out. He didn’t even think it needed to be said that Sirius Black didn’t deserve a spot in the new world order. And yet, for some reason, here he is anyway. He turned his back on the cause once and Lucius has heard all the tails about how he’s far too close with Fleamont Potter’s boy. Lucius can’t stand the fact that he’s been let into the sacred circle and he doesn’t trust him for a second. Maybe what his father overlooked, Lucius can correct. Though that means getting through Orion first.

Severus Snape has always been an intrigue to Lucius. If he were a pureblood, he would probably be more than that. He’s a skilled wizard--those rumors flew quickly enough and Lucius has seen the man’s potion abilities during their time in the Death Eaters for himself. There isn’t a place for him at the table Lucius is creating...but that doesn’t mean the table can’t be built on him. He has potential. He has use. He has connections to that pesky little group that calls themselves “The Marauders” as though it makes them someone important. Of the Death Eaters, Lucuis will be a bit disappointed when Serverus’s time comes to a close. If only his mother had chosen a better match, maybe he could have been something. Instead, Lucius plans to use him at every available moment until its the to clear the bloodstream once and for all.

If Lucius were really going to speak his tongue, he would have to demand from Orion why in the bloody hell he chose his older boy for Mundus when it’s so painfully clear Regulus is the only young Black (other than his own wife of course) who stands a chance of being worth anything. He’s young, yes, and unremarkable thus far. But that’s the fun thing about him. He’s not much of anything yet. Lucius has made it his goal to whisper all the things into Regulus’s ear that his father whispered into his. The Black boy is still malleable, still could be worth something, there’s potential there if only he can be broken away from his leach of a brother. And that’s just what Lucius intends to do. If he is the one to bring Orion Black’s son to the light? What a feat that would be.

Also Lucius’s mother is a pureblood Ravenclaw in my head so I’m always up for pureblood cousins who just don’t have the Malfoy name

CHARACTER STUDY

FREEFORM | This can be anything ranging from an in-character paragraph sample, a biography, headcanons, Q&A style, or any type of character study that inspires your muse and gives a good interpretation of who your character is. If you’re looking for a prompt, I’ve listed a couple general prompts on the FAQ PAGE to get you started. 

Bio (TW child abuse)

Lucius Malfoy’s childhood was everything you would imagine from the youth of a Malfoy. Born to one of the wizarding world’s most wealthy families, with a silver spoon in his mouth, he wanted for nothing he didn’t get. He had two parents, a library containing all the best wizarding lore and spellbooks, more toys than any one child could ever manage to play with. He had everything any child could ever ask for. Except perhaps for those two parents of his to be loving. Salinda Malfoy was too busy being anything but a mother, which was preferable to Abraxas, who believed very much fists spoke better than words. As a Malfoy, perfection was the expectation, not the exception, and Abraxas would go to any measure to ensure his son achieved it.

His mother was absentee at best and his father simply didn’t make time for his son--working for the Ministry was job enough. The pair had also followed Malfoy tradition of only procreating until the birth of the first son (it helped keep the bloodline clean and the money growing rather than being divvied among squabeling children), meaning Lucius had no siblings either. He was often left alone on the sprawling Malfoy Estate--other than the countless house elves of course, but they certainly don’t count--but never left to his own devices. Spellbooks were shoved into his hand from the time he could read and his father enforced the expectation of learning all he could while alone in the house, even if not allowed to practice as a child. There was no time for play if Lucius were to be good enough to carry on the Malfoy legacy. If he were to fail, his father stepped in to discipline and Lucius learned young that was not something he wanted to happen.

Hogwarts, then, should have been a safe haven. Away from the parents that had made his early years so difficult, and starting miles ahead of the others in knowledge. The wizarding school should have been an ideal place for the likes of Lucius Malfoy. Unfortunately, that wasn’t quite how it worked out. So many things were wrong with Hogwarts. First of all there were far too many mixed bloods and mudbloods. Both his parents had taught him the importance of blood purity and he hadn’t often been exposed to those who weren’t pureblood. Second, school was boring--he knew the basics of most everything they taught, even if he hadn’t used them in practice.  And third, and most egregious of all, it seemed there was a rather large portion of the population there that did not care he was Lucius Malfoy, son of Abraxas Malfoy and had more money than so many of them could ever dream of having. He simply didn’t know what to make of it. He had expected everyone at school to love him, and while he was well liked by his Slytherin peers, the other houses left something to be desired. And his father’s involvement with the ousting of Minister Leach only further divided the peers he wanted to be devoted to him.

One thing became abundantly clear about Lucius Malfor while in school. He was smart, naturally so, but he would far rather lie and cheat and manipulate than put in the full effort. Using banned charms for tests and his family name and money to convince professors to give him better grades than he deserved, it was all better than actually just doing the work. He was particularly gifted with unspoken spell work and potions brewing, all natural and not the result of anything from Hogwarts (now see, this is what happens when you keep a blood line clear), enough so to justify his boasting and appointment to Prefect. His grades were good, and his OWLs and NEWTs middling (something that proved he would never be too old for his father to quite literally beat proper behavior into his son). Sure, he wanted to be the best, but finding alternate ways to get there was always best. Besides, he cared more about being the most powerful than he did being the highest performing. 

By the time of graduation, Lucius Malfoy had mastered several skills, though none from the institution's teaching. From his father’s, shall we say, forceful teachings, he had learned a calm, cool surface worked best. Stay even, at all times, don’t let emotions show unless they are superiority or anger. He had also become incredibly talented at persuasion and manipulation and frankly often preferred them over spellcasting. Together, they had shown him the importance of appearances. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do, craft whatever lies needed to keep people eating out of the palm of your hand, and everything will always come up roses for you.

Between his reputation and his lineage, Lucius easily obtained a role in the Ministry not long after his time at Hogwarts. He didn’t need a job, no, but with it would come more power and paise and money. Not to mention, his father made it quite clear that the life of a socialite wouldn’t be tolerated. He found his position with the Improper use of Magic department rather well suited. He’s used the position to create ties with other powerful witches and wizards and groom ties with the Minister and any potential future Ministers as well as expanding his collection of dark artifacts.

 It has also been rather useful to serve the Dark Lord--and now the Mundus. Being a member of Voldemort’s chosen flock was a birthright of being a Malfoy as much as anything else in his life. His father had known the Dark Lord for years and as he rose to power, Lucius was an early member of the Death Eaters, taking his Dark Mark the day after his graduation. His message is one Lucius has been bred to believe his whole life. Lucius has been using his position at the Ministry to keep an extra eye on magical use--being overly harsh with any reports involving those believed to have ties to the Order, conveniently losing data on pureblood children and Death Eaters with illegal magic use, turning in false reports showing misuse of magic from those against the cause--not that this is well known outside the highest Death Eater and Mundus ranks. 

When Mundus Novus was created, there was no more natural fit for Lucius. He likely would have joined their cause even without his father being a founder, but Abraxas’s always firm hand was just another reason to tilt his head high, knowing he’s better than everyone else. It felt right, natural, comfortable. Until suddenly it was oppressing. No one saw his father’s death coming, least of all Lucius. He was just starting to get the feel of the ground beneath him at Mundus and knowing he would have his father and the Black brother to hide behind when Voldemort caught on. But now his father is dead. He didn’t even have time to decide if he’s sad about it or not. Because there’s a war and the pillars of Mundus Novus have an empty chair that’s meant to be his. But it’s so much pressure for a boy who’s only ever been told he’s not good enough by his parents. And it means doing what he’s most afraid of--taking a defiant move against the Dark Lord he’d been bred to respect and fear in equal measure. He’ll step up. He has to. There’s no other option. He just wishes he had had more time to prepare.

EXTRAS | This is not required but if you’d like to submit anything extra (Pinterest boards, mock blog, playlist, character tags, etc), feel free to share!

Enjoy this tag of Lucius related content on my old blog

A few headcanons:

Lineage -- The Malfoy family only procreates until they have their first male offspring, so as to keep the bloodline clean and the money growing rather than being divvied among squabbling children

Sexuality -- I always picture Lucius on the aromantic and asexual spectrum. He’s not a completely sex-negative ace individual, he can and does have sex, it’s just not something he’s particularly interested in--he has more important things to worry about. And he’s certainly aro because, really, Lucius Malfoy loving anyone but himself is practically laughable 

House Elves -- Lucius’s parents couldn’t be bothered to raise him. They both had more important things to do. So his raising feel to the House Elves. There was one elderly house elf, Maisel, who cared for him as a baby, would sneak him treats while he was a child, and showed him little bits of house elf magic to entertain him. She died turing his fifth year at Hogwarts, without so much as an owl from his parents. He simply returned at the end of term to find her no longer there and a young male houself (a Dob...something, Lucius didn’t bother learning the new elf’s name) tearfully telling him she had passed.

[twinkletoes-rp]

6, 7, 19, 20, 30, 31, 32, 39, 40, 41, 43, 44, 45, 51 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Fanfiction Questions meme

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh, geez... I’ve been involved in so many fandoms, LOL. I don’t really know if I can/should name them all. I’ll give you the ones (ONLY OTPs - doesn’t mean I don’t ship other things, too) I can think of off the top of my head.

Kiba/Hinata (Naruto), Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu), Stiles/Derek (Teen Wolf), Kirito/Lisbeth (Sword Art Online), Harry/Hermione (Harry Potter), Goku/Bulma (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho), Todoroki/Izuku (BNHA), (better!)Bakugo/Uraraka (BNHA), Toph/Aang (ATLA), and Adrien/Marinette (Miraculous Ladybug)!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

(This isn’t meant to be hate on the ships I name! I just don’t ship them, that’s all! Ship and let ship! ;))

Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto), Kirito/Asuna (Sword Art Online), Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter), Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter), Goku/Chichi (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Keiko (Yu Yu Hakusho), Bakugo/Izuku (BNHA), and Aang/Katara (ATLA).

19. Is there a ship (in your current fandom) which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

I’m not sure I have a ‘current fandom’ since I live for, like, everything at once, but maybe technically Naruto would be it?

In that case (again, no offense to anyone - and removing the ‘I wish I could get behind’ part ‘cause I do not), NaruSasu. I just...don’t get it? At all? Maybe it’s the ‘what could have been’s or whatever, but when you just take the series at face value, that relationship is...really icky, at least to me, and that’s putting it lightly. It’s so damn unhealthy, especially for poor Naruto. They were never even friends, Sasuke always treated him like shit, and yet...?! *throws hands at half+ of OG series and virtually all of Shippuden* IDK, man. Something’s weird there, and I don’t like it. Can’t support that. Naruto deserves better, damn it. (*casually links her Naruto AU fic where he DOES get better (in more ways than one), TYVM*)

20. Any ships (in your current fandom) which you surprised yourself by liking?

Going with Naruto again, so. Hmm... I guess maybe Kankuro/Tenten? I didn’t even know that was a ship until a friend showed me a really good fic, and I was hooked! lol.

Another might be KakaObi, but only in AUs where Obito survives the cave in and gets out with Kakashi and Rin and recovers, continuing to be the sweetheart he is instead of the ass he turned out to be in canon. Because he, too, deserved better, damn it!

Another is one I might have made up, not sure (mostly in the context of my Naruto AU, NGL), lol: Karin/Shikamaru! It makes sense and there are lots of compelling reasons when you break it down! You know, 'cause Shikamaru would need (or probs at least prefer) someone on his smarts level, and she's a genius, too, just in a different way. And once she mellows out, Karin's really cool, and (in my AU) she grows to eventually adore Naruto (actually fights to defend/protect him in the Pein arc!), and anyone who loves Naruto is good in Shikamaru's book! lol. Plus, she can tell him when he has his genius brain twisted in too many directions, tell him he's being an idiot and help him figure things out in her different way. lol. IDK, I like it!

30. What inspires you to write?

I just...love writing?? I’ve wanted to be an author since I was 8-9 years old, started writing when I was 11, and I’ve been writing ever since! I’m 27 now! I’ve had a few dry spells, ofc, but I always end up coming back! I just feel like writing is in my blood (partly because, I like to joke, my last name is the title of one of Shakespeare’s plays, haha)!

Pretty much anything can inspire me to write, though. I’ll see a pretty flower and be like “OOH, that flower could feature perfectly in this chapter in this way!” and then write 1k about that! lol. Or I could read a review of one of my new chapters and end up thinking of something I’d never considered before and then write almost 3k on that alone (looking at you, middle section of Ch 6 of my Naruto AU, lol)!

Basically, if it sparks joy, I’m gonna write something! X’D

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Nicest?? Hmm... I mean, I’ve had a lot of things said about my writing... Not sure I can really narrow it down? lol.

I guess the nicest things I’ve ever been told are when I make people cry (espec multiple times!) and actually feel the emotions the characters are feeling, that the characters and their development feel so real that it’s like they’re real people instead of fictional/they’re written so much better than the creator himself wrote them. (Been getting those a lot on my Naruto AU, actually. lol.)

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I tend to prefer silence while I write, but sometimes, my house is loud and people keep breaking my concentration (house of 5, lots of animals, not the quietest, lol), I sometimes listen to music. I usually prefer instrumental, and then usually Naruto or Wolf’s Rain (sometimes Princess Tutu, too) instrumental tracks. The Naruto one I like best also has rain sounds mixed in, which is great because I love the sound of rain! Woo! (Here’s a link to that one if anyone else wants in on this! ;))

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Emotions and getting into the nitty-gritty stuff therein. As an extremely visual, emotional writer, I’ve always been able to feel the emotions of the characters pretty much exactly how they’re feeling it in the moment and then put it on paper. I also make people cry a lot with my writing and get them to feel what the characters do, so that’s awesome! It’s always my goal to get my readers to feel things because then I feel like they’ve really connected with the story and characters I’ve written!

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Transitions are dicks. Sometimes I struggle ‘cause it’s been, like, two seconds or five hours, and I don’t know how to show that, lol. If I can, espec with the last one, I just fade to black. lol.

Also, sometimes I feel like I use the same sentence structure a lot, mostly the ‘..., but...’ format (at least lately). It’s really annoying, and I worry my readers notice and get annoyed/think I suck because of it. lol.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

“All the ways I say ‘I love you’” by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 (Fandom: Ninjago)

“Paradise Lost” by AnchoredTether (Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender (Zootopia-esque dark AU))

“where my armor ends” by dalniente (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power)

“of cats and curses” by faerialchemist (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power x Fruits Basket crossover)

“Mischief is its Own Reward” by dalniente (Fandom: Megamind)

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

I don’t really read Naruto fanfic too much anymore, so like...I guess, technically, another main fandom of mine right now is Fruits Basket, so: without a doubt, @kyosohmastan ! They’re my absolute favorite Fruits Basket fanfic author! Everyone’s so in character, the writing is so sweet and feelsy, steamy when it needs to be, and I really love the writing itself - it’s just so well done and beautiful and I die happily when they post a new fic or chapter? Ahhh! Plus, they’re just so nice and talented in so many ways, we have the same opinions on certain things (like Kakeru Manabe is Too Much(TM) for us, haha, no offense to those who like him! lol.), and I just really, really feel blessed to know and read their fics! Love them so! <3

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I’m not sure which ship this is talking about? Hmm... But a ship I definitely think (have always thought) needs more attention is Kirito/Lisbeth from Sword Art Online! It’s so slept on, and that is a damn fucking shame because they’re so healthy and sweet and have so much more amazing potential than they’re given credit for (way freaking more than the actual canon couple, just sayin’, no offense to anyone who likes the pairing)! I have written a good few metas (and a fanfic) on the subject (some/most of which are on my Lisbeth RP blog, actually, lol)! If anyone wants to discuss/RP/anything involving this ship, please let me know! Would love it!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I’m not sure I have a favorite fic. But one that I always come back to (all of her (mostly G1) My Little Pony fics, actually - first found them when I was, like, 12, and have kept rereading over and over through the years, haha) is A Mother in Her Eyes by LoveLikeElena on FFN. It takes place in the author’s own MLP universe, but I love said universe so much, and her takes on the characters are amazing and so sweet! I love her look at the serious subjects that follow the characters through her ongong MLP series! <3

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Fanfic readers have become really, really lazy. No one reviews anymore, maybe leave a kudos here and there if you’re lucky (I have a major love-hate (more hate) relationship with kudos...), and it’s so, so, so discouraging to us writers! I wish they knew how it felt, to be honest, espec the ones you know are reading, but just...don’t comment. It’s ridiculously disheartening to work so hard on something for days, weeks, even months or years on something, only to get basically nothing in return. It’s like posting into the void, and it sucks ass. It’s part of what made me quit writing for a good few years, actually, and I’m so sad to see that it’s still a thing. I comment on everything I read because I know how it feels and how much it hurt! It hurts like hell, especially because I remember how it used to be just 6-8 years ago when everyone commented! I desperately pray the fanfic/content consuming world fixes that really soon or we might lose some really amazing writers! Please, even an emoji or keyboard smash! I don’t care, I’ll take anything (and I know I’m not the only one)! <3

[genelmag]

10 Black Witches in TV and Film Who Put a Spell on Us

For way too long Black witches in film and television were relegated to sidekicks or very bad voodoo priestess stereotypes with over the top accents—witches that the main protagonists meet in passing on their journey. More often than not, Black witches in television and film have been subjected to very bad writing. As filmmaker and witch, Monika Estrella Negra said, it’s a “misuse of the erotic and demonization of [African diaspora] spiritual practice”.

Luckily, we are getting to see more and better representation of Black witches. From big budget shows like The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and American Horror Story to independent shows, films, and web series like Juju Web Series, Black witches are beginning to feel seen.

Still, in a sea of thousands of White witches in film and television, we literally have but a mere handful of Black witches, warlocks, and brujas that present worthy representation. So, on our first day of Black History Month in 2020, here are some of our favorite Black witches gracing us with their magical presence.

Tati Gabrielle kills it as Prudence Blackwood. Prudence is the illigetimate daughter of Faustus Blackwood leads The Weird Sisters as they attend The Academy of Unseen Arts to learn and improve their magical powers.

In the beginning of Season 1, it seemed as if writers were portraying Prudence as, what Teen Vogue’s Taylor Crumpton said, “the angry Black woman who attacks the misunderstood, small, blonde, white girl”—a trope we see far too often. Luckily, this wasn’t the case as the show progressed.

Even so, Prudence devoted her life to the Church of Night and, though it’s not mentioned, it’s inferred that she was the best at the Academy.

In truth, Prudence is one of the best things about Sabrina. Her power is expressed in everything she does, from her flawless makeup, killer wardrobe, and finger waves for days!

One of the biggest icons of the 1990s was Rachel True’s performance as one of the lead witches in cult classic The Craft. She was the bubbly best friend that you just fell in love with.

While most films of 90s portrayed Black witches as voodoo priestesses doing root work, Rochelle practiced a more European, neopagan form of ritualism.

Yusuf Gatewood plays one of the most powerful witches in New Orleans in the hit show The Originals, Vincent Griffith. Vincent does what he can to keep the peace in a city run by vampires and owned by the original vampires, The Michelson family.

Because of his power and his relationship with the Michelson family and with werewolves, he became regent to the nine covens of New Orleans. But, like any normal person would in his situation, he grew tired of the supernatural community and all the pain and death it came with.

Intelligent, charismatic, positively devilish—that’s Ambrose Spellman, played by Chance Perdomo.

From the very first time he comes on screen, you can’t help but fall in love with the Spellman cousin, Ambrose, who has been on house arrest at the mortuary for 75 years.

That’s right, he’s more than 75 years old, but we don’t know his exact age. All we know is that the famous alchemist Alester Crowley was his father figure and mentor and that somehow led to Ambrose being a part of a plot to blow up the Vatican.

Though he has something witty to say for every situation, he also usually has a solution—or knows just where to find it.

Kat Graham brilliantly played the most powerful witch in Mystic Falls. Bonnie started off as that lovable best friend who thought she had a little bit of psychic in her because Grams always told her she had witches in her ancestry.

Season after season we watched Bonnie’s powers grow as she repeatedly sacrificed herself for her friends and their boyfriends. Meanwhile, it took 7 seasons to give Bonnie a love interest who was actually worthy of her. But, of course, it didn’t last long.

Juju is a brand spanking new YouTube web series about best friends who discover they are witches is the story about Black witches we’ve been waiting for.

Juju takes place in New York City and follows the lives of three best friends with Caribbean and Bayou ancestry.

Jhé "Moon" Ferguson, the creator of Juju said she wanted to create a world of Black supernaturals.

I’ll be honest, I had no interest in American Horror Story until I learned Marie Laveau would be in Coven. Even better, she would be portrayed by the goddess herself, Angela Bassett.

Marie Laveau is a power, immortal Voodoo Queen who runs a salon called Cornrow City. The strength of her power is on par with The Supreme.

Billie Porter can do no wrong. Porter masterfully plays Behold, one of the head instructors of warlocks at the Hawthorne School for Exceptional Young Men.

He’s a leader and a protector, doing what he must to bring better representation on the Witches’ Council. He’s snarky, sarcastic, and adds an animated, flashy element when he uses his telekinesis.

What stands out for me with Behold is that he’s noble, valiant, and not a zealot as we see in many witches and warlocks tend to be in film and television. He’s sensible. He doesn’t jump to conclusions; he investigates his gut feelings.

Fringilla is a baaaaad witch. Played by the talented Mimi Ndiweni, Fringilla is a Nilfgardian sorceress and adviser.

I’ve only read the first two books of The Witcher series and I’ve only ever watched others play the game, even though I have the games in my library.

That said, even though Fringilla Vigo turns out to be villainous, she’s extremely powerful and cunning.

Though this show is a bit problematic, there is no doubt that black girl magic is real when you watch Carmen escape slavery through a time spell and land in modern Columbia.

She quickly adapts to modern life and technology, making friends, going to school, and casting spells to try to help where she can.

Quite honestly, there is much to be desired in Always a Witch, but it is worth taking a gander to see where and how we can do better in portraying our stories while avoiding certain tropes and stereotypes.

A special shout out to Dean Thomas from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the Witches of Eve’s Bayou. Wanting more and better representation of Black witches doesn’t mean we don’t have our favorite mainstream witchy films. From Witches of Eastwick and Practical Magic to Charmed, we’re here for it.

Like us on Facebook and tell us which Black witches we may have missed or what shows and films about witches we should check out.

[uploadedyudkowsky]

The Top 10 Most Epic Muggle Eats

Fifty is a big number, but you won't get tired of reading these Top Ten Elegies. It starts on page 20, for those of you who wish to go that far.

1. Vegetarian sliders: An entire book could be written on the lives and works of Mother Teresa. It's obvious, it's not complicated, it's spiritual but it's not sacred, it's functional but it's non-attached to any community and so on... The religious do not get to make up anything. Even what they do would be in the same league as the humanists who volunteer to put water in a hot water bottle. It's the non-religious who just eat vegetarian sliders, thank you.

2. Atheist students not attending class: They're easier to get. You can get "intelligent design" students, and then never show them any of the evidence. You don't want them in class. So you choose an art form that is, at best, a den of scoundrels. (That is, teach them nothing)

3. Missing limbs: Imagining that one human limb is missing... that's a powerful experience. It's also not so much a mystery as an image that enters your mind. (That's a different kind of effect, which is not science.) Imagining one limb not being there is more disturbing, because it sounds like there is an answer to the mystery. Imagining one limb being missing, however, doesn't cause your brain to dismiss the whole thing as a lie.

4. You're willing to put up with an unkind word: In "It doesn't pay to care" or "Some truths are just so obvious" or "It's easier to be depressed than cynical", you are better off thinking, "These people don't have the emotional capacity to put up with me." But in the list below, you will also find a few noble and nice-seeming people who are more than happy to make yourself happy.

5. You're willing to enjoy ridiculous amounts of cake: Many, many other people find that real cake too unpleasant to consume. They'd prefer, instead, to have one more cake than they could eat in their lifetime. It's a much more interesting existence, for them, than having to consume all the cake they've been given.

6. Students who never study: Study. Don't study. Don't bother to study. Don't bother to read through all the books that you're given. Don't complain that you can't read through the book. Don't waste another hour.

7. Curiosity killed the cat: There are a lot of kids who want to know about the existence of Wizarding Brains. Why would someone do that? Because they want to play with Harry Potter-looking objects or try to do "the impossible", or just because it's a great idea. It doesn't seem like a particularly caring and generous motive. Curiosity is not selfish. It's not wanting to do the work to make something happen, to see a result that you can get for yourself. Curiosity is why you're interested in anything in the first place. Curiosity is the point from which all others are merely observations or substitutes. If you have no desire to see Harry Potter-looking objects - no desire to make it happen to make it happen - if your sole motive is just for the fun of it - it doesn't matter what the answer is, and it doesn't matter what you learn. It doesn't matter whether Harry Potter-looking objects exist or don't exist, because that's not what you're after.

8. Danger: Did you know that a potential Evil Overlord could theoretically invent a spell that let's every wizard temporarily turn into a rat? Someone could just ask Harry Potter-looking objects to serve as rat bait!

9. You, the reader: No matter what you think you know about the universe, I suggest you first listen to something that's been turned into an epic poem. (Tune in, if you haven't done so already.) That's what I call a pure delight. And if you need a way to channel your inner reader... well, that should come with practice.

10. Failure isn't always failure: Sometimes there are options. Sometimes there are ways to avoid problems. If you read this list, if you do what's told, you can do things that aren't always failures, can be done in many cases, and might not have all failed.

And it shouldn't matter what anyone tells you: There's no one right answer to life's questions, and asking the wrong question is a crime punishable by death.

Edited to add: Some people have pointed out that I mentioned a problem where a wizard didn't know that there was a problem. It's not clear to me that I should have suggested that someone who couldn't find out

[hufflly-puffs]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Chapter 27: The Lightning-Struck Tower

This chapter contains perhaps my favourite Draco moment; I lost count how many times I have read the dialogue between Draco and Dumbledore. I think that this is the most closet look we get on who Draco really is, the most honest and genuine version of him. Of course even now he still tries to play a role, but Dumbledore sees right through him and for a moment Draco lets his mask fall. This is where my view on Draco changed. I was never particular interested in his character before book 6 because he was nothing more than a bully. Book 6, and especially his conversation with Dumbledore helped to make him a much more rounded, complex character, that I would have liked to see more of in the final book. And it is not just my view that changed, after this evening Harry saw Draco in a different light as well.

“How long had they been away? Had Ron, Hermione and Ginny’s luck run out by now? Was it one of them who had caused the Mark to be set over the school, or was it Neville, or Luna, or some other member of the DA? And if it was … he was the one who had told them to patrol the corridors, he had asked them to leave the safety of their beds … would he be responsible, again, for the death of a friend?” – Survivor’s guilt at its best. And of course after the events of this evening Harry will feel responsible for Dumbledore’s death as well, just as he had felt guilty for Sirius’s death, ignoring that both men (and his parents as well) were completely aware of the danger they put themselves into while fighting Voldemort, always knowing they might die. They all tried to protect Harry, but they didn’t gave their life for him, but because they believed in something bigger, because they wanted to do the right thing.

“Then, by the light of the Mark, he saw Dumbledore’s wand flying in an arc over the edge of the ramparts and understood … Dumbledore had wordlessly immobilised Harry, and the second he had taken to perform the spell had cost him the chance of defending himself.” – Dumbledore knows that Harry would never just stand by without taking action. He knows that the only way to keep him safe, to keep him hidden, is to immobilise him, to force him to silently watch. And that in itself is yet another nightmare: to be trapped in your own body, forced to watch Death Eaters infiltrate the school, forced to watch Dumbledore die.

“Malfoy stepped forwards, glancing around quickly to check that he and Dumbledore were alone. His eyes fell upon the second broom. ‘Who else is here?’” – We know that Draco was communicating with Madame Rosmerta. She told him Dumbledore left the school (though seemingly alone) and she probably told him about his return, though the question is if she also told him that Harry was with Dumbledore. Perhaps Draco assumes that Harry has already left the tower to get help, despite knowing that Harry owns the Invisibility Cloak. But then Draco knows Harry well enough to know that he would never just stand by, invisible or not. What he does not calculate is that Dumbledore is not as defenceless as he seems, but used the moment when Draco attacked to protect somebody else instead of defending himself. Dumbledore immediately distracts Draco with a counterquestion, again to keep Harry safe. None of the other Death Eaters seems to notice or care about the second broom, though I’m pretty sure that Snape knows/suspects enough to figure out the situation.

“‘Draco, Draco, you are not a killer.’ […]I don’t think you will kill me, Draco. Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe … […]” – Draco is not a good person. His actions almost resulted in the deaths of Katie Bell and Ron, foreseeable casualties given how reckless his plans to kill Dumbledore became. Just this night he let Death Eaters into this school, despite knowing that those people show no mercy and will kill teachers as students alike. But he is also not an evil person either. Dumbledore openly wonders if Draco’s heart had been really in the task he had been given (killing Dumbledore) and Draco makes clear that he had no idea Fenrir Greyback would be among the Death Eaters as well and how repulsive the idea of Greyback at Hogwarts is to him. Dumbledore sees Draco for who he is: a terrified 16 year old boy, put under an unbearable pressure, afraid that Voldemort would kill him as well as his family if he does not succeed. Draco is yet another victim of Voldemort. Yes he chose to become a Death Eater, but then again was it really a choice? Did he really have other options? Refusing Voldemort would have been his death sentence. I don’t want to excuse what Draco did or justify his actions, but people are more complex than just good or evil. Dumbledore knows that better than anyone else, so he does the only right thing now: he offers Draco his help.

“‘Enchanted coins,’ said Malfoy, as though he was compelled to keep talking, though his wand hand was shaking badly. ‘I had one and she had the other and I could send her messages –’ ‘Isn’t that the secret method of communication the group that called themselves Dumbledore’s Army used last year?’ asked Dumbledore.” – Hermione, who came up with the idea of the Enchanted Coins, was inspired by the Dark Mark, which Voldemort uses to summon his followers. Now the method is used by Draco. He also used Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, which was meant to protect, in order to attack and infiltrate. Magic and magical objects are neither good or evil, they can work either way, depending on the person who uses them and their intention.

Madame Rosmerta told Draco that Dumbledore went out for a drink, so he decided to use a trap (the Dark Mark) to lure Dumbledore back to school. It was really a coincidence then that Dumbledore and Harry would return from the cave shortly after the Mark had been cast.

“‘I haven’t got any options!’ said Malfoy, and he was suddenly as white as Dumbledore. ‘I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!’ ‘I appreciate the difficulty of your position,’ said Dumbledore. ‘Why else do you think I have not confronted you before now? Because I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realised that I suspected you.’” – Dumbledore must have been in an incredible dilemma all year. He knew that if he talked to Draco or even stopped him it would have been a death sentence for both Draco and his family. But the more desperate Draco got the more dangerous he became, putting other students with his actions at risk. And now, with the arrival of Death Eaters at Hogwarts, it is again not just Dumbledore’s life that is at risk.

“‘But I got this far, didn’t I?’ he said slowly. ‘They thought I’d die in the attempt, but I’m here … and you’re in my power … I’m the one with the wand … you’re at my mercy …’ ‘No, Draco,’ said Dumbledore quietly. ‘It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.’ Malfoy did not speak. His mouth was open, his wand hand still trembling. Harry thought he saw it drop by a fraction –“ – I don’t think Draco could have ever imagined that Dumbledore would offer him help. He suspected Snape’s attempts to help him as a way to steal his glory. Draco is not used that people (apart from his parents) genuinely care about him. He had always looked down on Dumbledore, never showed any kind of respect for him. And yet Dumbledore, despite the things Draco had done, offers him help. Dumbledore still sees him as an innocent, as someone who deserves his mercy. Despite the fact that Harry saw Draco crying, saw the pressure he is under, he never thought that way. Dumbledore’s view on Draco is what changes Harry’s view on Draco. And finally the one small moment where it seems like Draco was about to drop his wand. I have often wondered how this story would have changed if Draco had changed sides. In book 7 it is clear that he no longer wants to be a Death Eater, but he does not work actively against Voldemort either, paralyzed by his own fear, forever stuck.

“‘Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little,’ said Dumbledore. ‘And, yes, I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you, of all people, into the school where his friends live …’ ‘I didn’t,’ breathed Malfoy. He was not looking at Greyback; he did not seem to want to even glance at him. ‘I didn’t know he was going to come –’” – First of all Draco does not have any friends, but that is beside the point. What is important is that he talks to Dumbledore here, that despite his fear he wants to make clear that he had no idea Greyback would come. He wants to confirm the image Dumbledore has of him: that he is not a killer, that he is still an innocent after all.

“‘Severus …’ The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading. […]Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face. ‘Severus … please …’ Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. ‘Avada Kedavra!’” – I wonder how much of this was planned. We know that Dumbledore’s time was already limited, that the curse of the Horcrux-ring would slowly kill him. We also know that Draco had been given the task to kill Dumbledore and that it was very unlikely he would be able to do it. And on top of that is the Unbreakable Vow Snape made with Narcissa, forcing him to complete the task should Draco fail. So Dumbledore knew he would die, knew what Draco was up to, and knew about the Vow Snape had made. So it was clear that at some point Snape would have to kill Dumbledore in order to keep his cover, and his life and Draco safe. The question was just when. It is possible that Snape read Dumbledore’s mind, or perhaps he simply knew. But there is also the revulsion and hate in Snape’s face. This is not a mercy kill, but I think because this is not how the Avada Kedrava Curse works. Unforgiveable Curses need intent; you have to mean them. Which is why Draco could have never killed Dumbledore. But I think a part of Snape had hated Dumbledore enough in order to do it and I think Dumbledore was aware of that.