#toxic cycle

[howifeltabouthim]

But fathers cast a long shadow. Some outrun it, but others get caught, and then they act out their father's sins over and over, like mummers in a play, even when they have the best of intentions.

Lev Grossman, from The Bright Sword

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Morro: The fandoms favorite ghost

Look what I have for y'all! I heard you liked feral ghost men who are glorified rats? Whelp I've got one for you!

[Before we begin remember this is all for the funsies so be nice]

But in all seriousness I do have many opinions about Morro and his impact on the show and ESPECIALLY on Wu as a character and how we view him. Because yes I do have an English teacher essay for everything lol, anyway moving on.

So Morro is such a complicated character because Young!Morro is very tragic: An orphan who was taken in by a son of this worlds version of GOD and told he was special, shows great promise and potential training his entire childhood for a roll he's been told he's made to fit. Finally the day comes that he's meant to assume his destiny and... nothing, everything he'd ever done and worked for had been for nothing. He's told everything he's ever been told and ever done has been for nothing. And so obviously he doesn't accept this fact doing more and more dangerous stuff until eventually it ends up getting him killed. Which is pretty depressing seeing Morro seemingly wasn't that old when he died.

We obviously know all the stuff he did when he was a ghost, he was a fucking asshole AT BEST a monster at worst. I am NOT excusing the shit he did or saying it was good it wasn't it was reprehensible and awful, but I do kind of understand the mentality he had. He see's this random ass kid get EVERYTHING he ever wanted without trying (we know Lloyd didn't get it without hardship but Morro doesn't) so it's not much of a surprise that he hates Lloyd. Morro is also a pretty good foil/parallel to Lloyd, both were abandoned at a young age before being taken in (by the same person mind you), both trained as children and "lost their childhood" in different ways and both were told they were destined to be the green ninja (only for one that you know wasn't true)

And it's really interesting to me that in the end Morro's death (idk what else to call it) was pretty much a suicide. He gave up. "You can only save those who want to be saved." Were his exact words which are pretty depressing, it's his admittance of final defeat. It's a pretty fitting end for his character, one steeped in a mixture of evil and bad circumstance, after all Wu calls Morro his greatest mistake for a reason.

Honestly Morro is a character I have such mixed feelings on, like i hate him but I also feel kinda bad for him. He make Wu a more interesting character cause we get to see the mistakes Wu makes, which in my opinion very much so mirror the FSM's mistakes with raising Wu and Garmadon. Honestly Wu and Morro are kind of an example of a cycle of bad parenting tbh. Wu was raised with high expectations and still never got his fathers approval (see Spinjitzu Brothers) and so when he was trying to raise Morro he set a high expectation (being the green ninja) and just like Wu Morro also tried to reach this goal he would never be able to achieve. I do NOT think Wu did this intentionally, but ingrained patterns and all that stuff.

But what do I know. I just find these characters interesting and decided to throw my 2 cents in. I hope y'all are doing well, I hope yo have a great day/night! PEACE OUT!

[luthientinuvielss]

things my therapist said...

when your self-esteem is low, you pick people who reflect that. instant gratification of people who say something that makes you laugh or is nice even just once can be as much of an addiction as any drug when you continue going for people who you know are bad for you but you ignore it because they make you feel good in a moment, even when all the other moments with them drag you down.

[sbcwolfie]

Just What Besties Do

By: Star Crystal

“How do you sleep at night?” The girl asks her best friend

“What?” He replies

“How do you sleep at night knowing that you’re doing the same of what 𝙨𝙝𝙚 did to me?” The girl had a cold look of betrayal in her eyes as the tears started to form.

The male best friend wanted to reply but he had no words to say other than,

“I’m sorry.”

But sorry can’t fix everything. The girl just looks down in shame as the tears started to fall.

“Sorry can’t fix everything man.” She whispers as she runs her hands through her hair angrily.

“And I 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 that I want to forgive you. I 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 the fact that I will do, and this cycle will repeat until I’m torn into pieces like paper!” She cries out angrily.

The best friend just stares at her, his eyes wide as the guilt starts to wash over him.

“But I guess that’s just what best friend do, right?” The girl asks in a hushed voice as the tears stream down her cheeks.

The End.

[indecisive-neurodivergent]

side effects include: missing them insomnia tic episodes that ruined everything occasionally craving there attention constantly no matter how toxic they where because the false safety of there arms is still better then begin alone even if they used you. right??? because atleast i wasn't alone right??? i mean i know they encouraged the mental instability and pushing everyone awway but atleast if i go back i dont have to sit in my bed alone for 6 hours waiting for my new healthy gf to wake up cause apparently the only good people live in fucking Norway how to stop missing them: you cant, you never will they where a part of you life and no matter how bad they where you got close for a reason but you know better now and there are others out there who love you and wanna be here for you. there are healthy people and there is a chance to get back the ones you pushed awway (Side note credit for this new info gose to my gf i love her so much shes showed me the escape)

a note on distance.

[stringcage]

I must thank God every day for cancelling the trc TV series because I don't think I could possibly have lived the rest of my life in peace if it was mainstream

[pasta-pardner]

attack dogs shouldn't bite the hands that feed them

[heartorbit]

a fool and a sinner

[trisockatops]

Hey, so what you're describing is an addiction to the toxic relationship cycle (which is NOT just romantic), and it is really hard and weird to break and unlearn, especially after a lifetime of being taught to believe that's how relationships should feel.

To be perfectly honest: yes, at first, you're going to struggle to come to terms with 'inner peace'. It's going to feel boring to you. A lot of people quit maturing and growing for this reason. They're comfortable with the drama and toxicity and fear change and boredom, so they give up on it.

But! It's 100% worth it to stick it through, and I would highly encourage you to navigate that with the assistance of a therapist/counselor if you're struggling with it and that's available, especially if this is a pattern you engage with with your support circle. Because your support system IS going to lash out and attempt to draw you back into unhealthy habits, and it's going to get very triggered by you doing the work to grow as a person. Without the support of people who do want to help you foster growth, it's going to be extremely difficult to make lasting change.

So, you might have heard of the toxic cycle before, though you've probably only see it used to describe romantic relationships. I want to dig a bit past this, so I ended up creating this a while ago. It's an illustration of what the cycle you're describing feels like compared to an actually healthy cycle.

So what happens in an unhappy relationship marked by "passion" or "excitement" or "drama" is that you feel overall low, and that feeling is most likely to generally trend downward over time. In order to sustain the longevity of this cycle, there are lovebombing/honeymooning/exciting periods that feel REALLY EXCITING AND HAPPY for you...because your baseline is so low. When the bad times are so terrible, the good times seem comparatively amazing instead of what they really are: false good times.

So when you start building a healthy cycle after only really knowing unhealthy ones, the healthy cycle can feel...flat. And that's because, comparatively, it is. It's stable. There aren't huge swings of amazingness directly because there are no super low periods to make the good periods seem like heaven after visiting hell! Notice the healthy relationship is overall happier. It's just that the stability of it is really confusing when you've never experienced that before. When you're used to walking on eggshells and getting surprised, that stability doesn't feel like stability at first. It feels like the calm before the storm because that's what it would have been in the toxic cycle. It feels like you're just waiting for the bad to happen, but because the bad hasn't happened, you can't appreciate the goodness of the good times. You feel they are the middle times because you're too preoccupied waiting for the explosion to appreciate what you've got.

This is an extremely common struggle after escaping abuse and trying to heal from capital-T Trauma.

But it's 100% possible to work through and grow past.

But it is going to require consistency, dedication, and mindfulness. In the beginning, you're really gonna need to work hard to remind yourself that you're allowed to enjoy the present and to be mindful of conscious gratitude/appreciation. You're going to have to learn to recognize and stop and deliberately practice thankfulness for joyful and happy things. Example, if a friend learns your favorite food and makes it for you whenever you're feeling down, you would practice recognizing this and showing gratitude for it instead of assuming the worst. So you correct yourself from "[Person] made my favorite food again. I wonder what they want from me? Clearly, they must be trying to get an uncomfortable favor from me" to "I have had a bad week, but [Person] made my favorite food. I am so lucky to have such an observant and compassionate friend who just wants me to be happy. I should let them know I appreciate them". (And the tricky bit here, which a therapist is a great tool for, is learning to also set boundaries and cut people out who do do things like make you your favorite food because they need you to provide free housing for their abusive mother who you're also going to need to caretake for.)

It's a long journey, but one that is fully worth it.

To summarize:

I remember reading about couples who improved their communication losing their desire for each other.

They didn't lose their desire. They realized they had craved the dopamine hits of things being so awful that any minorly "good" event gave them a high, and they never actually desired each other - only their dynamic.

I have been using self help books to improve my intrapersonal and interpersonal skills. One thing that keeps coming up is peace.

Would achieving a sense of inner peace take away my personality?

Would achieving peace in interpersonal relationships make them less fun? I remember reading about couples who improved their communication losing their desire for each other.

-

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . she had come to expect it. To expect less from him because all those years ago he had emerged as less in every way.

Chris Whitaker, from All the Colors of the Dark

[bunnithechubs]

transcript:

V: Are you nervous? I told you they are going to like you.

R: I just feel really underdressed and tired.

V: Babe, this side of my life is about as normal and wholesome as it gets and you look amazing, as always.

R: Maybe I’m not in the socializing mood.

V: Do you want to head back home? We’re already here, might as well push through. My brother will understand remember he’s got a very pregnant wife.

R: I’m okay.

V: Well, if you change your mind just let me know.

R:Will do. How much older is your brother?

V: About 5 years, he acts like he's my dad though.

R: That bother’s you?

V: Sometimes, [shrugs] he can be a bit of a control freak.

R: He means a lot to you though.

V: What makes you say that?

R: The way you light up when you talk about him. Also, you never miss his calls. In fact you get upset if you don’t talk to him every week.

V: Are you calling me clingy?

R: I’m the same way with my dad, I just find it interesting.

V: I guess I just want him to stop worrying about me.

R: Then maybe stop giving him a reason to…

V: It smells good in here!

C: Hey Vin, welcome Reina. Nice to finally meet you.

R: Same, thank you for having me over.

C: Any time, this here is my wife Kitty and our daughter Maeve.

K: [Mae hides] She’s shy at first but she’ll warm up.

R: I get it, meeting someone new is a lot.

C: Well, Kitty made a mean meal let’s sit down and eat.

K: Reina, let us know if you need anything. We appreciate you coming after working and on short notice.

R: Thanks, it wasn’t a big deal.

C: Babe, I’ll set the table. Vin you mind giving Kitty a break?

V: You know I never say no to my princess, come here Mae!

C: So, Vinny told me that you just moved the city a few months ago. How are you liking it?

R: I visited it before but I feel like I’m still finding out stuff about it. I didn’t even know there was a suburb like this just outside of it.

V: I’ve been trying to show her more of the city but it’s hard when I’m in season.

R: How do you guys like New Crest?

K: It’s nice because it’s so family centered but we eventually want to make our way to Henford. That’s where my family is.

R: Vinny mentioned you’re not a city native either.

Kl: Not even close, but I love the city. I just get really home sick. Do you miss home too?

R: I miss my family, not so much the Valley. It’s hard to know who’s your friend or enemy over there.

C: I can see that, glad you’re liking it in the city then. Hopefully Vinny is being on his best behavior.

V: [smirks] Reina’s got a good leash on me, no need to worry there.

R: Was Cain the same when you met him?

K: [laughs] oh, he was worse. Yet look at me now? Married with soon to be two kids.

R: You both seem really happy though.

C: You meet the right person and it changes your perspective on life. Never thought I would be a dad.

V: He’s a great dad and husband- don’t let him fool you.

R: I can tell, Mae seems like a really happy baby.

K: Don’t let her give you baby fever now.

R: I’ve got a few nieces and nephews. No baby fever for me- Vin on the other hand.

K: [smiles] Mae has that affect, hence me being pregnant currently. Vinny mentioned you’re an actress?

R: Aspiring- I did a few day time tv shows. I’ve been trying to break into the cinema world but it’s taking a bit longer. I’ve been focusing on my online presence for the time being.

K: Well, if it’s a legal issue I could put you in contact with great lawyers.

R: I might take you up on that, my contract has been the root cause of my issues.

R: Thanks for the meal, it was delicious.

K: No problem. It feels good to make something we’ve been really bad at cooking now that we’re in the final trimester.

V: When dad moves in put his ass in the kitchen.

C: [laughs] that’s the plan. Hey, do you mind putting Mae to bed while I get these dishes cleaned?

V: Yeah, no problem.

R: You’re cute with your niece. Like a different version of yourself.

V: She thinks I’m a super hero so… I guess I want to keep that image up for her. What do you think about my brother?

R: He’s cool. To be honest, I like his wife better than him.

V: [laughs] Told you, everyone loves her.

R: They are really cute together. You can tell they were meant to be.

V: So what do you think? Think we can have a life like this?

R: Maybe in the future. I’m not really ready for all of this Vinny.

V: I’m not talking about right now, Reina. Who said you won’t get time alone? I work most of the day when I’m in season.

R: It’s my boundary, Vinny. I’m not ready for it. I already told you that you need therapy if you can’t bare the thought of living on your own.

V:Are you trying to hide something from me?

R: I don’t hide anything. You know that. If you feel that way then…

V: Therapy. Got it.

R: I’m not your brother’s wife. I can’t fix all your problems, Vin. You gotta do that for yourself. Not because you love me.

V: Sometimes I think you don’t like me.

R: Now that’s ridiculous.

V: Then prove it to me.

[1117-yungi]

SONG BIRD. jung wooyoung x fem!reader [4.8k]

in the infamous lounge, a singer performs for the one man who always breaks her heart — the untouchable owner. their reunions crackles with passion and pain. in his world of glittering façades, love is never enough, and you're left singing to ghosts of what could have been.

genre. rich!wooyoung, club owner!wooyoung, singer!reader, smut, angsty, toxic situationship, he is kinda insufferable but its hot, little porn with a lot of plot

warnings. toxic woo, swearing, manipulation, gaslighting, smut, pull-out method (don't do this guys), choking, switch!wooyoung, switch!reader, oral: m receiving, fingering, orgasm denial, pet names: songbird, angel, darling, baby, and bunny, hair pulling, praise and degradation, bittersweet ending, they're not good for each other guys!!!, size kink if u squint, implied dub-con tbh, power play dynamics, let me know if theres anymore!

note. hide the scissors from wooyoung rn

the dim haze of the lounge cast long shadows on the plush, velvet booths and the lacquered piano. smoke curled lazily in the air, mingling with the faint clink of glasses and the low hum of idle chatter. you stood beneath the spotlight, a figure draped in silver, your dress catching the low light like a thousand tiny stars. your voice pouring over the room like honey over jagged glass. the microphone in your hand felt heavy, but nothing was heavier than the weight in your chest as you sang.

each word slipped from your lips, the kind of voice that made people stop in their tracks, made them feel things they'd been too afraid to feel. your voice was sweet, but raspy in the best way possible — the crowd watched with newfound fascination, the other acts providing background music for the illegal activities. but you, you were the main act. though tonight, your eyes weren’t scanning the crowd. you weren't looking for applause. you were looking for him.

and there he sat in the corner, a million-dollar smile on his face, surrounded by men in sharp suits and women with sharp laughs and seductive stares. his watch gleamed under the dim light, a beacon of everything he was — untouchable, unattainable, a mirage with no end. but when your voice reached him, his head turned ever so slightly, like the string you had tied between them had just been tugged. his eyes had found yours.

you didn't falter, didn't let your emotions bleed into the lyrics. not yet.

you'd met him before, on nights much like this one, when the world seemed coated in gold and the air hummed with possibility. he was the kind of man you never really forgot; the man who walked into a room and owned it without hesitation. a man made of money, of charm, of tragedy.

tonight, though, there was something different in his gaze. as you sang the final note, he rose, leaving behind the world that adored him, the entourage, the whispers. he walked backstage towards where you were.

"you always knew how to break my heart," wooyoung murmured, his voice like bourbon, smooth but burning. it made you freeze in your tracks, turning your head towards the voice.

"and you always knew how to make me let you," you replied, your lips curving into a bittersweet, forced smile.

it was always the same between them. he was a million-dollar man, but his worth was his undoing. you were the girl who saw through it all and loved him anyway, knowing he could never stay.

"play me a song, darling," he said, his voice low, as if he knew this moment might be their last.

you didn’t ask why. you never did.

fingers trembling as the two of you sat down on the bench of the piano you had practiced at for ages. with a deep sigh, you played the melody that lived in your heart, the one you'd written for him long ago. the room around them disappeared, the crowd, the smoke, the lights. it was just them, a girl in silver and a man who carried the weight of the world in his eyes. even backstage, away from the crowd, it felt suffocating.

when the final note faded, he pressed his lips together in a firm, his tongue playing with the ring in his lip. he let his fingers ghost over the keys, not playing, just feeling. "you deserve better than this," he murmured, his gaze distant, his hands now stilling against one of the keys, his pinky grazing yours. "you deserve more than me, angel."

"and yet, here you are." you replied.

he laughed softly, the sound bittersweet yet intoxicating. "yeah. here i am."

for a moment, the world shrank to just the two of you, a singer and a man who could never be yours. he leaned in, his lips brushing your forehead, his warmth lingering even as he pulled away.

"you deserve better," wooyoung said again, softer this time. then, just like always, he was gone.

you stayed at the piano, staring at the spot where he'd sat, your heart aching but your resolve steady. your eyes moved up to the piano, staring at the empty glass he left behind. you hadn't even realized that he brought it with him. a tear slipped down your cheek, but you wiped it away, knowing you'd sing the song again tomorrow night.

for the million-dollar man who never really belonged to you, but who’d stolen your soul all the same.

the lounge felt heavier tonight, like the air itself was steeped in tension. the usual haze of smoke clung tighter, the shadows darker, the applause quieter. they all felt like ghosts, lingering echoes of the night before. and you, you were here again, draped in the same silver as always. you noticed your fingers trembling as you adjusted the microphone stand, your heart heavy with a burden only he could bring. you didn't bother scanning the crowd this time — you already knew he was here.

he always was, especially when you swore you wouldn't let him get to you again.

you hadn't seen him since last night, but you could still taste the remnants of his touch on your skin, still hear the soft murmur of his voice, still feel the weight of his words pressing on your chest. you deserve better than this. you deserve more than me, angel.

it was the same old routine. the promises of distance, the whisper of something more, followed by his sudden disappearance. but this time, there was something different in the air — a thick tension that gnawed at your insides, something you couldn't shake.

when the crowd settled into their usual spot, half-distracted by their own secrets, the music began. you took the stage like clockwork, the spotlight cutting through the gloom. the microphone felt colder tonight, like it was in on the game. as you sang, your voice wavered, only for a moment, when you caught his silhouette at the corner table.

but he wasn't alone this time.

she was draped across his arm, some attractive woman with a laugh like crystal shards, glittering and sharp. she leaned into him, whispering something that made him smirk — that signature smirk as he played with his lip ring. but those fox like eyes? oh, they were on you. they always were.

the song ended, and the crowd clapped, but you barely heard it. he was already standing, already moving toward you as his hands clapped for you; it seemed taunting. the woman that had previously accompanied at his table barely seemed to notice when he had left.

"you're something else tonight, angel," he murmured when he reached you, his voice low and familiar. the way he said angel made your stomach twist, equal parts longing and fury.

"don't start," you said, stepping down from the stage. you tried to walk past him, but his hand caught your wrist, firm but careful, like he knew exactly how far he could push.

"start what?" his lips curved into a crooked grin, but his grip didn't loosen. his gaze flicked to the other patrons around him, then back to you, something unreadable behind that cool, confident exterior. "just giving you a compliment. you look beautiful, as always."

you glared at him, yanking your arm free. "you should be telling her that."

his grin faltered for half a second, but it was enough to make you feel the smallest spark of satisfaction. still, he recovered quickly, his tone dropping into something softer, almost apologetic. almost.

"don’t tell me you're jealous."

you laughed bitterly, stepping back, needing space. "of her? no. of whatever hold you have on me? yeah, maybe."

wooyoung's expression shifted, the smirk giving way to something darker, sharper. he stepped closer, his voice low enough that only you could hear. "you're the one who keeps singing for me. what does that say, angel?"

you stiffened, trying to keep your gaze steady, but something inside you recoiled. that voice. that look. the way he made everything feel like it was slipping through your fingers, made you doubt your own choices. you wanted to hit him, to scream, to walk out and never come back. but the worst part? he wasn't wrong.

"you don’t own me," you said, your voice trembling, not with fear, but with anger — at him, at yourself, at everything.

he tilted his head, his smile softening, dangerous. "don't i?"

"i told you," he continued, his lips curling slightly as he drew away, taking a slow, deliberate sip from his glass. "i'm not here for anything long-term. you're not the kind of girl who gets a happy ending, not with me. but i do like the way you play along."

"play along?" you repeated, voice thick with disbelief. "is that what you think this is?"

his gaze darkened, though his smile never wavered. "you're a smart girl. you know exactly what this is. you always have." his eyes softened for a moment, almost like a mask slipping. like even he didn't believe the facade. "but don't get too attached. i'm not the one you should be putting your heart into."

a sharp, bitter laugh escaped your lips before you could stop it. you crossed your arms over your chest, feeling exposed, vulnerable in front of him. "i know who you are," you said, voice steady but laced with a cold edge. "i'm not an idiot."

"good," wooyoung said, still leaning in, but this time there was something colder in his touch when his fingers brushed yours. his eyes held that cruel, knowing gleam. "but don't act like you don't want to be a little bit more than this."

you didn't say anything. you couldn’t. because, despite everything you told yourself, part of you did want more. you were tired of the games, the lies, the promises that never meant anything. but another part of you… the part that still clung to that impossible hope, the part that still wanted him to be something better than what he showed the world… that part wouldn't let you walk away.

and he knew it.

you watched him turn on his heel, his expensive shoes clicking against the polished floor as he started to walk away. you felt the pull, the magnetism of him drawing you in even as you knew you should turn and leave.

but then, just before he disappeared into the crowd, he glanced back over his shoulder with that same smirk, the one that never quite reached his eyes. "i'’m not done with you yet, songbird," he called out, his voice dripping with that familiar, dangerous promise.

the next few hours dragged on like a blur of muted lights and endless faces. the lounge seemed to buzz louder, more insistent, as if the world were trying to drown out the weight of the space between you and him. but you couldn't escape it. not when you could still feel the pressure of his fingers on your skin, the weight of his words on your chest.

when you finally left the stage, the air around you felt too thin, too oppressive. you hadn't seen him leave, but you knew he was gone. you always knew. he didn't need to announce his exit. it was his absence that left you hollow.

you went to the dressing room to get out of your stage outfit and into your normal clothes. it was routine and becoming old, but you hadn't made an effort to leave. you pushed through the crowd of people, smiling at their empty compliments before freezing as you tried to excuse yourself by pushing past a patron.

but wooyoung was standing there, looking as if he'd never left. his dark eyes locked onto yours instantly, the room falling away as if it were just the two of you, frozen in time. the crowd moved around you, oblivious, but you couldn't stop looking at him. couldn't stop feeling the electric pull between you.

"you always do this," you murmured, half to yourself, though your words carried across the silence.

"do what?" he asked, his voice cool but laced with something dangerous. the smirk was back, that crooked grin that never seemed to falter, like he enjoyed the power he had over you. like he knew the exact moment to strike.

"you know what i mean," you said, trying to steady yourself. but your heart was racing, your pulse quickening as he stepped closer, narrowing the gap between you.

he reached out, fingertips brushing against the back of your hand — light, gentle, but the touch sent a shiver through you.

the heat between you, the tension that had built up all night, was palpable. it was always like this, when he came close. the air turned thick, suffocating, and you couldn't tell if you wanted to push him away or pull him closer. but you didn't have to decide. not yet.

he didn't wait for an invitation. without breaking eye contact, he reached out, a single finger brushing your arm — just enough to send a wave of electricity surging through your skin.

"come with me," he said simply. "i don't like waiting."

his eyes scanned your face, his gaze sharp, like he could see past every defense, every wall you'd tried to build around your heart. for a moment, he said nothing, just watching you. watching the battle in your eyes.

there was no hesitation. you knew what it meant when he said that. he wasn't asking. he was demanding — as always. you had learned long ago that when he made these kinds of demands, you couldn't say no, not really. but he always gave you an opportunity to for it.

"your friends won't like that," you said, a small attempt at playing it cool, but the words felt weak as they left your mouth. you knew it was pointless.

he raised an eyebrow. "the only person i'm interested in right now is you."

he didn't wait for you to respond. instead, he turned, almost arrogantly, like he owned the space around him, and without a word, you followed him. his presence was commanding, and you could feel the weight of it behind you. you kept your distance at first, though every step you took felt like it pulled you deeper into his orbit.

you clenched your fists, trying to fight the tremor in your hands, trying to ignore how badly your body was betraying you as you trailed behind him. you wanted to say something sharp, something cold, something that would break the connection between you. but he was already too close. his presence was too much, suffocating in the best way. and you followed him without question. god, you were weak.

"i'm not playing your games anymore, wooyoung," you said, your mouth moving faster than your thoughts could comprehend your voice wavered, and you cursed yourself for it.

he stopped in his tracks, about to reach the exit of the lounge. his lips quirked up at the corner, an almost fond smile creeping into his expression as if your defiance only made him more interested. "you say that, but you know you like it. you like the chase. the danger."

the words hit harder than they should have. you looked away, your chest tightening as he stepped even closer, until there was nowhere for you to go.

"then let me end it," he said, his voice quieter, and this time, there was no smirk, no cruel amusement. only an intensity that left your breath caught in your throat. "come with me." wooyoung looked like he would have gotten on his knees for you right then, pleading for you.

you opened your mouth to protest, to tell him to leave you alone for good, but the words wouldn’t come. so instead, you found yourself nodding, against your better judgment, against the part of you that knew this would only make things worse.

the crowd was still swirling around you, but it felt like you were in a different world. the moment he stepped closer, his hand grazing your arm as he guided you toward the exit, everything else faded. you were lost in him again.

no turning back.

the drive to his apartment was short but felt like hours. the silence between you was thick, suffocating, each passing second dragging you deeper into the inevitable. he hum of the engine only adding to the tension. you sat next to him, your hands gripping your bag tighter than necessary, the familiar burn in your chest threatening to crack you open. he didn't speak, didn’t ask you any questions. he just drove, as if this moment was already scripted. you were a part of the plan, whether you wanted to be or not. you couldn't stop your mind from racing, from thinking of everything you’d tried to ignore — the past you’d buried, the future you were too afraid to face.

when you reached the building, he didn't wait for you to say anything. his hand was on the small of your back, guiding you up the elevator without a word.

inside, his apartment was exactly what you remembered: sterile, cold, all glass and steel, but still holding that dangerous allure. the kind of space that made you feel insignificant, like a blip in a world too big for you to understand. the moment the door closed behind you, the outside world seemed to vanish. all that remained was the quiet atmosphere of his space and the man standing in front of you, looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered, and the only thing he could destroy.

there was no pretense this time. no smiles. just that intensity that always left you breathless. he stepped toward you slowly, his gaze never leaving yours, until you were backed against the edge of the sleek, black sofa.

his hands reached for you, but this time, there was no game in his touch. it wasn't the same as it had been before, when he made you feel like a toy he could play with and discard. this was different. this was raw.

"you keep pretending you don't want this," he murmured, his fingers tracing the curve of your jaw, his thumb lightly brushing your lips. "but you do."

you wanted to argue, wanted to push him away, but your body betrayed you again. the warmth of his touch, the deep pull of his presence, was too much to fight. you wanted to say no. you wanted to walk away.

but you didn't.

his lips were on yours before you could say anything else. a kiss that was all heat and demand, a kiss that made you forget everything but him. his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

and maybe, just maybe, you couldn’t get enough of him either.

you should have known better. you should have walked away when you had the chance. but instead, you stayed. you always did. his touch overwhelmed you completely, you couldn't bring yourself to fight it. because deep down, you knew you were already lost.

you grasp onto his expensive shirt, pulling him even closer until the two of you fall down onto his lavish couch. his lip ring felt cool against your soft lips, making your mind become foggy with pleasure. he chuckled into your mouth, as if he could tell you enjoyed his piercing. he adjusted the position, resting between your legs. your legs naturally wrap around his hips, making him rut into your clothed core. you gasped at the feeling, whining against his lips.

wooyoung pulled away from your lips, much to your dismay, before he started to kiss along your neck, biting down and sucking on the flesh to create a dark mark. you mewled at the feeling, your back arching off the couch as you grabbed onto him with a newfound aggression. he whimpered from how tight your hold was on his long hair, providing him with pain mixed with pleasure.

at this revelation, you tugged his head back by hair and returned the favor. you decorated his neck with dark marks, sucking harshly on his sweet spot, which was easy enough to find. his slutty hips rubbed against your core desperately, clearly enjoying the feeling as he moaned shamelessly while you felt his cock hardening.

he tried to take control of the situation again, but you didn't let him. you flipped the both of you around, now straddling him before ripping his shirt off by the buttons. he frowned, letting out a whine, "that was expensive, baby."

"you can afford it." you whispered with a grin on your face before taking one of his nipples into your mouth. he gasped at the sensitivity as your tongue swirled around his perky, hard nipple. wooyoung had never experienced anything like this, always being the dominant. and he certainly didn't expect you to be like this. what else are you hiding from him? after a few more moments of teasing him, you crawled down to where he needed you the most.

you tugged down his pants, leaving them pooling at his ankles. oh, he was big. somehow you knew that. you gave his tip a swift kitty lick, his body visibly shaking. his eyes stayed on yours as you shoot him an innocent bat of your eyelashes. "fuckin' brat," he whispered, reaching down to your hair while he whimpered while your tongue swirled around his tip, gathering the pre-cum that leaked out.

he brushed a few stray hairs away from your face as your mouth worked him up and down in perfect rhythm, bobbing up and down. one of your hands kneaded his thighs while the other played with his balls. wooyoung let out a desperate moan at the sudden touch, he hadn't even noticed how sensitive he really was. all for your touch. you were both drunk on each other — without any alcohol in your systems. besides his very few sips of whiskey.

your jaw was hurting, pleasurably stretched by his cock, but the sensation of his tip hitting the back of your throat was too addictive to care about the pain. you hollowed your cheeks, trying to fit every vein that popped out as wooyoung breathed heavily, holding back with all his might not to mouth-fuck you. he felt dumb from the pleasure, growing more and more needy and desperate.

"you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing this, angel," wooyoung laughed with a whine as your tongue glided against the underside of his length, sending goosebumps all over his body. unable to hold back any longer, he harshly yanked you down, forcing his entire length into your mouth, his tip deliciously hitting the back of your throat, making you gag.

you moaned at the sudden rough treatment as he rolled his hips into your mouth. despite the intensity, your tongue continued to lick and satisfy him, while he used your mouth like his personal toy, sending vibrations through your entire being.

you could feel him twitch inside you — he was almost there, ready to release. your hands pulled and kneaded his balls, giving them one cheeky little squeeze, pushing against them before pulling off of him, denying his orgasm.

wooyoung whined at the loss of your touch, pouting before raising up. he grabbed your throat and pulled you against his lips with an unmistakable hunger and desperation. he stripped off your clothes while kicking off his pants that you left. he picked you up with ease, carrying you into his room and onto the bed.

and then you ended up on his lap, with his long fingers stuffed deep inside you, curling and making a mess of you. you couldn't even remember how you had gotten into this position, too drunk and intoxicated on the feeling of his fingers hitting all the right spots. you rolled your hips eagerly, making him grin as he watched you with a smile on his face, clearly getting off on how he was making you feel.

"you're such an eager bunny, baby," he murmured over the pretty moans ringing in his ears as you leaned back against his chest, head resting on his shoulder, while he whispered the filthiest things in your ear. his hot breath tickled your skin. god, he was like a drug. "humping my fingers like you're in heat."

his thumb was rubbing your clit, making your toes curl. his words made you embarassed and your face hot, but you didn't dare correct him. "no matter where you go, you always come back to me. won't you, pretty girl?" he teased, your moans answering him.

he slid another finger inside you easily, stretching you even more. your eyes widened from the sensation; it was a mix of pleasure and pain that made tears brim in your eyes. a whimper left your throat, going straight to wooyoung's hard cock that rested against your thigh.

your tiny hand went straight to his cock, trying to stimulate him as his fingers worked your dripping cunt, moving in and out, curling, hitting all the right spots. he groaned quietly before kissing you, his tongue exploring your mouth. you tried your best to kiss him back, saliva pooling at the corner of your lips as your vision was slowly going blank, stars starting to appear. your body trembled under his relentless pace, lips parted, gasping. but he started pulling his fingers out of you.

"woo," you whined which made him scoff, watching you looking like a doll. his perfect, little doll. he slid his fingers covered with your slick into his mouth, a hum vibrating through him while swirling his tongue around them while your mouth watered at the sight. you took a heavy breath, and without speaking, reached out, pulling his fingers from his mouth, looking at him expectantly.

he swallowed hard, the look you gave him was flipping a switch in his brain. "go on, take them into your mouth."

you obliged, sliding three of his long digits into your mouth. wooyoung groaned, his eyes closing as he could fell the back of your throat at his fingertips. he couldn't take it anymore, and clearly you couldn't either.

you aligned him at your entrance, your pussy practically begging for him to fill you. that signature smug smile remained as his eyes held yours, and you gripped his shoulders as his tip pushed through your walls, stretching you deliciously as he finally bottomed out. he paused, letting you adjust to his length, and you gasped before nodding him to continue.

he began to move, each thrust slow but steady, reaching deep, hitting that perfect spot inside you. your vision blurred with pleasure as he drove into you, his pace intensifying, while his lips found yours again. he could tell you were trying to hold your moans back, and that wasn't sliding by him. he gripped your throat tightly, pulling away from the messy kiss. "sing for me, baby," he moaned.

and you did. you moaned for him, your back arching off his mattress and into his chest as his pace quickened, thrusts growing deeper. they started out calculated but soon turned sloppy and messy. his lips pressed against neck. each movement, each kiss, each moan that escaped his lips only pushed you closer to the edge until you couldn't hold back anymore.

your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into him as the building tension finally snapped, sending you spiraling into release. your nails had dug crescents into his shoulders, drawing blood slightly. and then building tension finally snapped, sending you spiraling into release. you clenched so hard around his cock, pleasure consuming you completely with your body trembling in his arms as you released your orgasm. his hips never faltered as he rode you through the high.

wooyoung's thrusts slowed as he guided you through the last waves of pleasure, his own breaths turning ragged. "come on, baby," you whispered to him, trying to catch your breath slightly. he shivered at your tone, trying to chase his own high. "cum for me." you commanded, making him whine while pulling out of you quickly. his hand jerked his cock once then twice, and warmth spilled onto your thighs as he held you close, his load shooting out onto your plush skin. he fell down beside of you after every drop left him.

after leaving for a moment to retrieve a towel, he dragged the fabric to clean you and him up. he tossed it aside and held you close to him, his fingers grazing against your skin.

when he finally pulled back, his breathing heavy, he looked at you with that same inscrutable expression. "i'm not going to let you go," he said, his voice thick, almost possessive. "not this time."

you didn't say anything. there was nothing to say. you knew you were already lost. your breath was shallow, as you tried to forget the words, tried to remember that he didn’t matter. that he couldn’t hurt you anymore. his words were just empty promises, as always.

he had already left his mark. the damage was done. and you, despite everything, knew you'd sing for him again and again.

even if it meant losing yourself in the process.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[remember-to-be-gentle]

Inspired by this tumblr post by @hawnks 

Subject: JJK, Satoru Gojo

Title: Hate Me Tomorrow (Omega!Gojo x GN Alpha!Reader)

Trigger Warning: Dub con, omega verse, scenting, size difference, biting/marking, obsessive/toxic behavior, self-hatred, knotting, knot riding, begging, heat/mating cycles, grinding 

The sweet, musky scent of Gojo's cologne and sweat enveloped you. Even the giant stuffed beta fish you were snuggling had no scent but his. His pillow fort was surprisingly spacious, granted, Gojo was nearly twice your size so there was a lot of him to fit. But being in here with him was nearly suffocating, and not just because of the light whiffs of omega scent rolling off of him or because he'd practically ripped off your jacket to snuggle into. 

He'd called you suddenly, saying that he needed to spend time with someone. It made sense. Geto just died and there were only so many people who were willing to pick up the phone for Gojo, and even fewer he'd actually call. Especially when it was a secret he was an omega, pretending to be an alpha and you were an alpha pretending to be a beta. 

The two of you were decent friends, hanging out after teaching at Jujutsu Tech for a drink or a quick round of gossip. He was one of the few people who knew you were an alpha and he an omega, an unusual kinship formed but it was never anything more. More importantly, you knew about his relationship with Geto. You couldn't say no. 

Which was why your thigh was snug against his, smartphone balanced on your knee, his favorite plushie shoved into your arms. His head on your shoulder breathes fast but not uneven. It seemed like he was trying not to cry. Poor guy. The winter fashion review didn't seem to be helping him calm down at all. Nor any work gossip. You wanted to stay and help, but it was getting late. If he really wanted to, he could just pin you down, sometimes that thought scared you.

Gojo curled onto his side, struggling closer to you, your jacket wrapped in his hands like a security blanket. 

It felt wrong to leave, but you needed to take care of yourself, too. "Hey, bud, I need to get going. Are you going to be alright by yourself?" 

Gojo buried his face in your neck, silent. He leaned his weight into you, just enough to make it clear he didn't want to be alone. 

Fuck. "I'm sorry. I'll come first thing tomorrow. We'll call out from work and go to the city or--" 

His teeth scraped your neck. Possessive, dominant. Alpha behavior. Before you knew what was happening, he was ripping off your scent suppressor, inhaling like he hadn't been breathing for hours. Alpha pheromones leaked from your skin, invading your nose. "Gojo?" 

Your stomach turned as your instincts awakened, the need to comfort an omega struggling with your own needs for autonomy. Your fingers dug into the beta fish plushie, filled with his scent. 

He reached for his own scent blocker and you suddenly realized what was going on. With his neck practically right under your nose, his omega scent was free. And not just that, he was going into heat. The pillow fort was a nest and this was a trap. Gojo was primed to breed and he was going to use you to fuck away his pain. "This isn't healthy, Gojo, listen to me!" 

But his patch was already off and the omega scent of him in your lungs, filling you, lighting every nerve on fire. Your cock swelled under your clothes, reacting to his breedable scent with vigor. 

Gently, Gojo took the plush and pushed you onto your back, yanking off his pants as his pale face filled with color. His bandages were already slipping, the iridescent shine of his six eyes laser-focused on the swelling at your crotch. He crawled on top of you, already tugging off his shirt. "Just for today, please." He panted, his thin but muscular chest heaving as if just sitting here breathing was a near-impossible task. 

His weight lowered onto your cock and you gasped, feeling his wetness through your clothes. His heat was so pleasant, feverish but warm, empty, and yearning. Blood pulsed lower and you gulped. 

Slowly, Gojo rocked back and forth, moaning loudly each time your shaft met his clit. His back arched, nipples swollen and pink, and standing at attention. "Please," he begged. "Just me just for tonight. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please, ah, Y/N. Please, I wanna cum. Let me have it inside me." 

It was getting harder and harder to think straight. He felt so good, the need to fill him up, let him fuck himself stupid on your cock growing. It would be better if you let him, a voice whispered. Another said, it's what you were made for. Just let him. 

"Gojo," you gasped. You reached for him, tried to make him stop so you could think, but his fingers intertwined with yours and he was moving faster now, his breathy moans coming faster. His skin was so soft and warm, filling you with his heat until you thought you might burst. Blood pulsed in your cock, his pussy was sucking at you through your clothing. He wanted you so badly. You wanted... What did you want to do again? You had to leave but why? 

"Y/N, I'm cumming." His hips rocked faster, tummy rolling with downy white hair covered in sparkling slick. "I'm cumming on your alpha cock." He let go of your hands to lay across your stomach, his head buried in your neck to take in your scent, his own making your head spin as pleasure threatened to burst out of your cock. His teeth met your skin, nibbling and biting gently then hard enough to bruise until he let out a long, throaty groan as he came. 

Instantly, your clothes were soaked, his hot slick smothered on your member. If you weren't fully erect before, you were now. 

Still panting, Gojo lifted himself up just enough to tug your cock free from your clothing. He didn't wait, spreading his pussy with his fingers as he sank down on your tip. Slick gushed down your shaft as he cried out, swallowing your swollen head into his heat. You bit back a groan, fingers digging into the blankets making up the fort. 

"You feel so big," Gojo moaned. "So good. I've only done this with Geto, so I'm going to have to start slow." He sank a little further, impossibly tight and hot and wet. "Feels so good," he huffed, rolling his hips and finally, sinking all the way down your shaft.

Your knot throbbed, seeming to sense that an omega was speared on your length. 

Gojo humped himself on your cock, needy moans slipping from his mouth each time his hips met yours. "Feels so good, Y/N. I've only felt Geto like this before." 

Before you could respond he pulled back to his full height, six eyes glowing in the warm darkness of the pillow fort. He spread his lower lips as he lifted himself up, clear slick drooling from his hole. His pretty, pink, clit a shining pearl at the apex of his thighs. "You did this to me. Look how wet you made me." Slowly, Gojo slid back down, pushing the head of your cock against his cervix. Again, he kept himself exposed and rose up, only to slurp your length right back down to the knot, aiming this time higher, into something spongy and mouth-wateringly soft.

"G-Gojo, I know you miss him but you can't--" 

He raised himself up and dropped down, knocking a groan from you both. "I think about him a lot," Gojo panted. "About how empty he left me. In my soul. In my body. So please, let me fix one of those. Just for now. It's okay if you hate me, but I need you now more than I've needed anyone." 

Gojo whined, flushed and excited. "Right there." He slammed back down on you with a stomach-churning squelch right into that soft sweet spot. "So good." He was riding you now, using you like a dildo to get himself off, his delicate fingers rolling his clit in circles. You couldn't take your eyes off him. "I want you to cum inside me, okay? Fill me up with your seed. Help me feel less empty." 

Pleasure gathered deep inside you, begging to come out as your knot swelled. Shit. You shouldn't. He was your coworker, your friend. But omegas needed alpha seed, he needed reprieve from his heat and you were the only one he could call--because the person he really wanted was dead. 

That thought shattered your high, grounding you back in the moment. "Gojo, I know you're still mourning Geto, but this isn't healthy for you." 

Gojo settled on your stomach, chest heaving. His hands snuck under your shirt, impossibly soft and warm in your skin. Your cock twitched inside him, wanting him to squeeze and milk you dry but that wasn't what a good friend would let him do. 

"I killed him, you know." His hands curled into fists by your hips. "He left me after taking my virginity and when he came back, I killed him on Christmas Eve because he didn't give me another choice. I'm awful, aren't I? Shoko hates me. She won't say it but I know she does. I hate me, too." The blue of his eyes shone as tears gathered, threatening to fall down his red flushed cheeks. 

"Shoko doesn't hate you." You said soothingly. You sat up, so much smaller than him, and ran your hands through his hair. "It was an impossible situation, we all think you did the right thing. We--" 

He didn't let you finish your thought. Gojo grabbed you by your shirt and slammed his mouth onto yours, his tongue filling you as if he could make you swallow every hateful thing he'd ever thought about himself. "If you don't hate me," he breathed against your lips, his spit wet and warm as it dribbled down your chin, "then cum inside me." He rolled his hips, reigniting the electric pleasure in your core. "Please. You can hate me tomorrow, but right now, I can't let you go." 

The pulsing softness of his pussy contracted, squeezing you so tightly you thought you might burst. You gasped for breath when Gojo released you and then did it again. You wanted to move. You wanted to stop. You wanted... 

Gojo pulled down the front of your shirt, rolling his hips roughly, chasing his end against your cock. He bit your chest, hard enough to bruise, marking you like an alpha. And that was enough to come undone. 

You exploded inside of him, eyes rolling back as your core emptied against his sweet spot. Your hips rolled up into his and you shivered as you felt your knot pop into his pussy, slick sliding down your thighs and onto the blankets. 

You struggled to breathe as Gojo laid himself on top of you, breathing fast. He rocked his hips against your knot, already trying to drag another orgasm out of himself. His arms slid under your back, pulling your chest to his. "You're all I have now, Y/N," he whispered, "so please, don't leave.”

[valyrfia]

“it’s over for Lestappen” are you hearing yourselves the whole premise of this ship is that it’s enemies to co-workers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to coworkers to love-

[screamingwiththewolves]

The universe was cruel to make the destined black blooded human afab, like there is not a single tampon for miles.