#trans dean can’t hurt you

[acearchivist359]

bi/ace solidarity but they’re in love with each other

ft. a bonus trans flag dean because i saw a bunch of people on twitter arguing about headcanoning dean as trans while i was working on these and the trans dean antis annoyed me so

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Running with You

Kevin Tran x Winchester sister!reader, Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: just a little series of snippets of your relationship with Kevin (and Sam and Dean…it was mostly supposed to be about Kevin, but those stupid brothers wormed their way into more scenes than I thought they would)

Meeting a prophet for the first time didn’t go exactly as you’d thought it would. First of all, he was your age. Second, he was a total nerd. And third…

He was kind of cute.

The two of you hit it off almost immediately. But of course he had a girlfriend, so you had to back off—but Kevin still made a great friend.

He was incredibly panicked to find out he was a prophet, and your idiot big brothers weren’t very good at calming or comforting, so you took over that role. Ever since then, Kevin and you became fast friends.

You were there for him when his life fell apart. He was there for you when you were scared for Sam—just out of hell and very traumatized. You comforted him when Crowley killed his girlfriend, and…

And you were both there for each other when Dean went to purgatory, and Sam was too traumatized to keep going.

Sam walked away from the leviathan fight with no will to fight…really, no will to live. But when Crowley took Kevin, you couldn’t just let him go.

You were the one who helped Kevin escape, and you were the one who was there with him on the run for a whole year…

…

“C’mon Kevin, let me in! That was the secret knock!”

“But you didn’t do the secret password!” Kevin’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door. You groaned.

“Kevin, I did the password.”

“That was the old one.”

“You changed it again,” you groaned. “Kev, I can’t keep up with the password if you change it every week. Just let me in.”

“Fine,” Kevin grumbled, and you heard lock after lock begin to unlock. “But I’m spraying you with holy water the second the door comes open.”

“When have you ever not?” You teased him. True to his word, your face got blasted from Kevin’s water gun the minute the door creaked open. You wiped the water off your face good-naturedly and stepped inside with your groceries. You liked to tease Kevin about all of his safety precautions, but only because it was better than the alternative; if you couldn’t laugh about how scared the two of you were all the time, you’d just…well, you’d just be scared all the time.

The two of you had spent the past year on the run from Crowley and his black-eyes minions, and there was no such thing as too careful. You’d thought about calling Sam once or twice, just to check in, but you didn’t know how. He’d gotten rid of his usual numbers, and so had you; the two of you were completely cut off. That was by far the hardest part of being on the run. You hoped that Sam was happy—that he’d really gotten away from the life like he’d planned—he deserved it, he really did.

You couldn’t blame him for checking out after Dean…after he died. You couldn’t; because you knew exactly how it felt. After Sam had gone to hell, you hadn’t wanted to hunt either. You’d thrown away all your old phones, and you’d gone to Lisa’s with Dean, and you had just checked out. You knew what Dean was doing late at night with those books and with the computer—he was trying to find a way to save Sam. Once or twice you had even found it in you to join him in his research—but the dead ends just hurt too much, and you couldn’t do it anymore.

So you couldn’t blame Sam for checking out the same way. But that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt, especially since you hadn’t seen him in almost a year.

You forced yourself to shake off your melancholy as you focused on Kevin.

“How’s Patricia?” You asked. “She do anything crazy while I was gone?”

“Just shook the fridge a couple of times.” Kevin shrugged. “She seems to be in a good mood today.”

“Patricia” was an inside joke between you and Kevin. Ever since you’d found this safehouse, the weirdest things seemed to happen inside—the fridge shook in the middle of the night, food went missing, and even good things like the holy water guns being refilled without either of you touching them. You couldn’t remember who had named Patricia, but it didn’t matter; she was here to stay, and you’d done every test for a ghost or a poltergeist with nothing to show for it.

A harsh knock at the now-locked door behind you broke the lightheartedness in the air. You whipped around, and Kevin instinctually raised the holy water gun.

“Y/N?” You could’ve sworn your heart stopped at the sound of your big brother’s voice.

“Sam?” You reached for the handle, but Kevin grabbed your arm.

“It might not be him,” he argued. “Or he could be possessed.”

“Y/N it’s me!” Sam’s voice came again. “I know you’re here, and I know Kevin’s there too. We tracked you down, we need to talk to you.”

Neither you nor Kevin moved, but your mind was now going a mile a minute. Why would Sam track you down after so long? What did he need? And why did he keep saying “we”? The last question seemed the easiest to ask.

“Who’s we?” You demanded. There was a long silence on the other side of the door.

“Honey, please just let me in. I promise I can explain everything, but—“

“How do I know you’re you?” You challenged. Again, you were met with a king silence.

“Sweetheart—“ your heart stopped at the voice of your oldest brother. “Let us in. It…it’s us.”

You threw Kevin’s hand off your arm even as he argued with you—

“Y/N, no, it’s not them, you don’t know that—“

You completely ignored him, pushing him out of your way and clicking lock after lock until finally, you flung the door open to see the two people you missed most in the world.

The three of you stood there in silence, sizing each other up—Sam and Dean seeing how much you’d changed, and you gaping up at your brothers in disbelief. The silence was broken when Kevin took a half step forward and sprayed both of your brothers with his holy water gun.

“Seriously?” Sam grumbled, but Dean didn’t complain. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off you, and you couldn’t seem to tear your gaze away from him, either.

“Dean?” You whispered, the sound of his name shattering the silence.

“Hey sweetheart,” he greeted, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

You couldn’t hug him fast enough.

…

“So…” Dean glanced between you and Kevin, his features twitching into a suspicious glare. “What have you two been up to?”

You’d gotten the year recap from Sam and Dean, so now it was your turn to give your account.

“Oh, you know, running from Crowley,” you scoffed. You knew that wasn’t all that Dean meant—he was eyeing Kevin strangely, and you knew why.

“And you two are…” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes as Dean searched for a word. “What, just besties now?”

“Actually…” Kevin glanced to you for permission, and you nodded subtly. “We’re kinda going out.”

“Well—“ you shot Kevin a wry smile. “Not out. But we’re dating.”

Kevin responded to your smile with one of his own. It wasn’t really possible to leave your safe haven for non-emergencies, but the two of you spent so much time together that dates weren’t all that necessary. You weren’t sure when exactly your relationship with Kevin moved on from “just friends”, but it probably had something to do with the first time you kissed him…

It was at the first safehouse you’d bunkered down in after escaping from the demons. You were both soaked to the skin—you’d gone on a supply run, and it had started raining; you’d had to stuff the groceries under your jackets to keep them dry. The two of you hadn’t been in the safehouse ten minutes before a hoard of demons made their presence known by kicking down the door.

“Kevin!” You yelled a warning to the prophet just as a demon made to grab him—Kevin twisted away just in time, reaching for the holy water gun. He struggled to get a grip on it, his hands still soaked. Before he could, a second demon grabbed onto Kevin’s arm while the third and final demon knocked you back, keeping you away from Kevin.

Your back smashed against the kitchen counter, and you found yourself grasping for anything in reach to use as a weapon. Your hand closed around something cool—glass, maybe. Without even giving it a glance, you threw it at the demon keeping you from defending Kevin.

You got lucky—the glass container shattered against the demon’s face, and he began to scream as the cuts sizzled and burned; it was a salt shaker.

The second and first demon—both of whom now had a hold on Kevin—were momentarily distracted; it was all the prophet needed to twist away long enough to latch his fingers onto the water gun, and he brought it around and sprayed both demons in the face.

“Kevin, let’s go!” You’d gotten around the demons while they howled in pain, and now you hesitated in the doorway, waiting for Kevin to escape with you.

“No!” The demon howled. You saw the knife too late to stop it. “If we can’t have him, no one can!”

The demon buried the knife into Kevin’s stomach.

“No!” You screamed. Kevin gasped in pain—or shock—his mouth hanging open and his eyes darting down to the knife. The first demon glared at you, while the other two shared twin grins; then all three vanished.

“Kevin…” you whimpered as you took hesitant steps forward. Your hands were shaking as you reached for your friend—you knew enough to know not to take the knife out—and you grabbed hold of his jacket and eased it to the side to get a better look at…

The knife, stuck in a pound of ground beef from the market that Kevin had forgotten to take out of his jacket.

Kevin’s face brightened, his features lightening in relief. You just stared for a long minute, unable to still your runaway heart.

“Y/N?” Kevin breathed. “It’s…it’s ok. I’m—“

He never got to finish his sentence. You yanked the stabbed beef out of his inner pocket, throwing it across the room before snatching hold of his collar and yanking him towards you.

Kevin was stiff from shock for the first few seconds of the kiss, but as soon as he realized what was happening, he relaxed.

“Never scare me like that again,” you breathed when you finally pulled away.

Kevin’s grin was a mile wide.

“Yes ma’am.”

You snapped out of your memory when you heard your brothers start to speak.

“Congrats, guys,” Sam muttered awkwardly, while at the same time Dean grumbled—“oh boy.”

You couldn’t resist the eye roll this time—you should’ve known your brothers would make this weird.

“So—“ you broke the awkward silence. “I assume you came here for a reason. What’s going on?”

…

“Hey Kevin, let’s talk.”

Things had been calm for less than five before Dean brought up what you knew was coming.

“Uhh…” Kevin’s panicked eyes met yours. “Yeah, just, uh…just give me a second.” Kevin pulled you out of earshot of Dean.

“What?” You hissed. “You knew this was coming.”

“Yeah but you said you’d be there!” Kevin argued.

“No I didn’t,” you countered. “I said I’d step in if Dean went too far, I never said I’d babysit you any time Dean was around. This conversation is inevitable Kevin, I can’t stop Dean.”

“Fine.” Kevin huffed. “Can we at least have a code word.”

“For what?” You bit back a laugh.

“For if things get crazy!” Kevin struggled to keep his voice at a whisper.

“This isn’t a secret mission, Kevin.” You couldn’t hold back a little snicker at this. “If you need me, just say my name. It doesn’t have to be in code.”

“Your name.” Kevin took a deep breath. “Your name. Ok, I can do that.”

“Good.” You grinned, and you hoped it didn’t look too mocking. “Now go get him.”

…

“See?” You greeted Kevin as he returned from his talk with Dean—Dean looked much more happy than Kevin. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Uh…uh huh,” Kevin muttered. You cringed.

“He was a jerk, wasn’t he?” You asked.

“Uh huh.”

“Oh boy. C’mon, let’s go get some ice cream.”

…

“Hey Sam,” you greeted as you and Kevin watched Sam stride purposefully into the war room of the bunker. Sam however, didn’t say a word.

In three long strides, he reached Kevin. You watched in bewilderment as Sam stretched out his hand, realizing too late the truth—it wasn’t Sam.

His eyes flashed blue just as Dean burst into the room behind him.

“No!” Dean cried, and you turned just in time to see Sam—Gadreel—press his open palm against Kevin’s forehead. Kevin’s eyes flashed bright white.

You were screaming, you knew you were screaming. You could hear the inhuman screech piercing the air, but somehow it didn’t feel like you—you felt absent from your body, you felt like a floating, frozen nothing, forced to watch as your boyfriend slumped to the floor, his eyes just charred remains, as someone who was supposed to be your big brother turned his back and walked away.

“Kevin?” Dean choked. The air was a vacuum of nothing—no one moved, no one breathed, as you and Dean waited for a response that you both knew wasn’t coming.

You were reaching for him now, desperate to help him, to bring him back…but Dean pulled you away, turning you until your face pressed into his shoulder so you couldn’t get a closer look at your boyfriend.

As if he could make you unsee what had already scarred itself into your mind.

…

“Kevin?”

You held your breath as the apparition in front of you blinked out, then stabilized. It was him—after all this time, it was him.

“Yes!” Kevin breathed—could ghosts breathe?—a sigh of relief when he realized you all could see him. “I’ve been haunting this place for weeks and all you guys do is mope. It’s about time.”

“Kevin?” You said again, like you still didn’t believe it.

Kevin let his eyes wander for a long moment towards you, his hand twitching as if he wanted to reach for you.

“I don’t know how long I have,” he said, reluctantly turning his gaze back to your brothers. “So listen up.”

…

“My mom’s going to take me home until you guys can get the veil closed.” Kevin avoided looking at you as he spoke.

“Ok,” Dean said, and Sam nodded.

You huffed, uncomfortable with the silence.

“Can I have a minute?” You asked your brothers. They shuffled away without a word.

“It’s what I want,” Kevin said before you could speak. “I don’t want to just…being here as a ghost, it’s too much. It’s not what I want.”

“You don’t have to convince me,” you said quickly. “I…I wish you could stay here, but I understand your choice. I know it’s not the same as really being here.”

Silence reigned for several seconds.

“This sucks,” Kevin huffed finally. You couldn’t help but crack a sardonic smile.

“Yeah, it really sucks.”

“I wish we could’ve had more time.”

“Yeah.” You smirked. “We were quite the power couple.”

“Well now you’re just being cheesy,” Kevin chuckled, and you grinned.

“Hey, we got to at least try out that relationship thing—I guess that’s gonna have to be good enough.” You sighed. “Try not to drive your mom too crazy, ok?”

“Ok,” Kevin scoffed. “But only if you promise to fix your stupid brothers’ argument.”

“I’ll do my best,” you promised. Kevin turned to go. “Hey Kev?”

“Yeah?”

“Say hi to Patricia for me, ok?”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

[zloveon]

You're doing great. You can call me sponge anon if you want. 💗

_\| As Long As You Need |/_

Word Count: 0.5k

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Pairings: He/They!Trans!Reader x Platonic!Castiel

Content Warnings: Mentions of dysphoria, religious topics, disapproving parents, use of the pet name“sweetheart” 

A/N: Hi my darling! My heart still truly goes out to you and all of the others in a similar situation. I want to state one final time for everyone that I am not trans, so I do truly apologize if in any way I offend or hurt anyone in the community. Please reach out to me and let me know if I do, and I will absolutely take this fic down. My intentions with this fic are to provide a safe, loving space. Not to harm. I hope this fic can help bring you a semblance of peace though a hard time than I cannot even begin to imagine. I love you, and stay strong my darling. 🫶

Taglist: @ohsc @ryvkkr

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Castiel didn’t understand it, how so many people held so much hate in their hearts. How parents could leave their children feeling so helpless and alone during something that was already hard enough to cope with— even without judgement. The hatred was so often accredited to God’s name, but even after being abandoned by his Father— Castiel knew the hatred was justified. His Father had loved the humans, all of them. 

     Which was why seeing them like this.. it hurt him, deeply. The way he was curled up into a ball— clinging onto the angel’s chest as if it were the last thing grounding them. Castiel ran his hand through their hair, his chin rested atop theirs. “Shh, It’s okay, kiddo..” he murmured softly against the shell of his ear, allowing the other to curl further into him. It broke his heart how.. dejected they looked.  

     “It’s not okay—“ he started to protest, only to be quickly and shushed by the angel. 

     “It is,” he whispered, his hand running down to their cheek before moving back to stroking their hair. “You have me, I am your family. Sam and Dean are as well. Blood runs thicker than water, does it not?” 

     Those words only made him cry harder, because Castiel had not quite realized that the phrase had changed over time. “No, no. Shshsh, it originally meant something much different. Water means the water of the womb— your mother, and blood means the blood of a covenant. Or in our case, our bond. I have bled for you, and I would do it again. I am here for you, always. I wish this was a pain I could soothe for you.” 

     “Can’t you?” They choked out, which only broke the angel’s heart all the more. “Just make it stop, Cas. C’mon, man— I can’t.. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” 

     “I can only offer you a temporary solution, sweetheart,” the elder whispered to him, gently patting away their tears with the pad of his thumb. The word sounded unfit for Castiel’s mouth, but he had picked it up from Sam comforting a young child on a hunt. He assumed it would comfort the person, his family, that was curled into him.

     “Then do it,” he pleaded, their hand twisting into the trench coat that was draping over the other’s shoulders. Begging for even a moment of peace from the storm that had taken over his head. “Just make it go away, please..”

     “It will wear off,” Castiel started, but ultimately decided to give them what they so craved. One of his hands left their spot of holding him, moving to connect two fingers to their forehead. “There.” He said, as he wrapped his arm back into its original placement. 

    The angel could see the euphoria wash over him, which made him smile to himself. He merely squeezed them tighter, holding onto him as they melted into him. “Is this.. better, kiddo?” 

     “You couldn’t imagine how much better this is, Cas.” They said, pausing before looking up at him as he leant back into his shoulder. “Can we stay like this? Just a little longer?”

     “As long as you need.” 

[deanstudies101]

4x03, In The Beginning

Critical theory: Guilt and secrets. Destiny and inevitability. The role of the mother/wife.

Discussion point/question(s): Dean was willing to sacrifice his happiness in dream a little dream, but not now… why? [Because it's not his life on the line this time]. Returning to our discussion last episode, even Mary and her family had a home. What do we think Azazel’s real plan could be? Trans readings.  

Key quotes: Mary, "You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won't let it happen."; Dean, “Promise me you won’t get out of bed.”; Dean, "Oh, I care. I care a lot, but these are my parents. I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't."

Further reading: 

The gay little sit that inflicted Misha Collins with workplace homophobia for the next 12 years (@godshipsit)

Discussion: 

Weren’t expecting time travel. 

Kai, so free will doesn’t exist, is what we’ve established here. [Have we?] Iga, I don’t think free will doesn’t exist necessarily, just some things are canon events. 

Liked the back to the future references. 

If things were always inevitable, why can’t they know past that? [As in what Azazel is doing?] Yeah, as in what happens next. [won’t be answering this one.] But it hasn’t happened. But time is fluid. Iga, no, don’t say that to me, that means something to me. That's not what’s happening here. What if he just tied up his shit so well that it never gets revealed until it happens. Kai, but we do know that some aspect of the future can be revealed, that’s what happens with Sam. The issue with time travel episodes is they introduce a whole load of questions/issues. Iga, no they don’t, they didn’t retcon anything, this was just Dean learning information. [This was exposition]. If Mary was more honest with John, they might have been able to change things. Kai, if this was about Dean learning the truth, why bother sending Dean’s whole ass back instead of showing him in a dream. Iga, my guy doesn’t believe in God, or maybe Cas just wanted to see what Dean would do. [He needed to see it. Also, he needed to feel helpless imo. He needed to learn he can’t stop it.] 

Azazel’s plan. There’s no way all of these people have an exact 6 month old in 10 years, or the plan is wibbly wobbly, except we know all the kids are 6 months old at the same time. Like they all get their powers at the same time. [My interpretation. He made a lot of deals, way more than the number of children he ended up with. The ones that worked out, worked out, the rest didn’t.] Kai, he really liked Mary though… what if the whole thing was designed around her/Sam lol. 

Dean trying to save Mary. It’s not the first time that he’s wished for Mary to be alive, but he’s gotta know it’s not gonna work. But he knows he has to try. 

Mary’s worst fear. That got him. He didn’t want his childhood to be like that. And it hurts to know she didn’t want it either. And John raised them like that for Mary. And she would hate it, she did everything she could to escape it. AND SHE HAD A HOUSE [lol]. That bastard. But how could he know? She never told him. 

Dream a little dream. It’s himself vs. his parents. His life or their lives. It’s the lack of self-worth. Sumner, or is he just more disillusioned now. Iga, or he knows deep down it isn’t going to work, he’s just going through the motions. He says he does care about the people he’s saved dying if he saves Mary—he says he cares a lot, and we’ve never heard him say that before. He says that to Cas, and he’s never, he would never to Sam. [Yes. He does say it to Cas. They’ve met three times, and Dean already feels comfortable sharing very intimate, very vulnerable thoughts/feelings.]

Dean is Cas’ special little boy. Dean might not see it this way, but he is. Maybe it’s because he is an angel—aren’t they supposed to be guardians?—so he might consider Cas to be this guardian that cares about him, and he feels safe enough to say something. 

Kai, I think it’s the autism to autism communication. Iga, it might be that too. Kai, Dean always sidestepped conversations, but that doesn’t work here! So what’s the point? He’s forced to be straight up. Sumner, and Cas is someone he doesn’t have to protect. He doesn't need to protect Cas from his feelings. Cas is stronger, Dean can’t hurt him, doesn’t have to worry about him, it puts them on equal grounds. If anything, Cas is protecting Dean. And Dean’s never had that before! He was a ten year old with a gun. [Angels are watching over you.] 

Kai, Dean isn’t masking. And I think there’s some gender to it. Cas is an angel—therefore without gender—and maybe Dean picks up on that. Dean doesn’t do the gruff masculine thing with women, so maybe Dean is recognising some of Cas’ lack of gender, so some of that mask isn’t needed. [bro.] Iga, Dean has specific behaviours with women, and specific behaviour with men, and this is… neither of those. Cas is non-binary, and the way that we know that is Dean’s behaviour towards him. [A lot has been said about their immediate intimacy, but I had. Never considered this.] Iga, he has a different mask with men and women, but he’s more likely to unmask with women, because he gets flustered. He’s not flustered with Cas, but more… intimidated? [Does Dean unmask more with women? What about Ronald?] Iga, Ronald was a man who, by society’s standards, wouldn't be seen as macho or manly. He was safer. [He can also easily be read as autistic.] Kai, I can see how omegaverse came to be. There are such complex things going on with gender. Iga, to oppress Dean. Dean was such a bottom they invented a gender. [Okay now we’re just discussing who would be omega/alpha etc]*

 Trans readings. They were confused on this one. [You want to name your children after your deceased parents, sure, makes sense. Your first child is born, a beautiful baby boy. Your eldest son. You name him after… your mother? Makes no damn sense. Naming your second son after your mother kinda tracks, like. If it had been Sam and then Dean, sure. Why Deanna first? Because they didn’t know they had a son. They named their first born, a daughter, after Mary’s mother, and their second, a son, after her father. Is this foolproof logic? Of course not. Is it interesting? Absolutely.]

Azazel is a gay icon for real. He’s fruity. He slays. He did walks he strutted he was pouting he was arching his back. Queen.  

Azazel’s plan. Didn’t think it would still be relevant. Kai, it probably has something to do with Lucifer, maybe he’s against Lucifer and wants to have an alternative. Iga, or maybe whoever releases Lucifer gets a lot of favour, so he was going to like, send Sam on these missions to break the seals to get in with Lucifer. 

Re the gay sit. Okay but why is he sitting like that? 

Star student: Kai, the discussion about gender + masking. There was absolutely no reason for you to blow our minds like that, but thank you king.

Notes: Visiting student Sumner.

*Putting the rest of the a/b/o conversation under the cut because we got incredibly off track. However this developed into a very interesting discussion about gender and imo it's worth reading

Iga, see Bela wouldn’t be an omega.

They have classes of men. They have cardboard cutouts of characters, of masculinity or femininity. Layers of masculinity. Similar to the third archetype we came up with for women. With men it’s… alpha, beta, omega. The writers did this to themselves. The masculine subtypes are y, the feminine are x. [So now I’m gonna need to make this.] But they have three cutouts for men and three for women, but in abo the secondary genders are for all primary genders. Dnd alignments. Abo extended edition. Bela was bitch/alpha. We know she is Dean, but she fucked Dean several times. Alpha. Dean is an omega… is he whore? Because he’s not a madonna. [Isn’t he? Because I think he could easily be madonna. He’s Sam’s mom. He’s a mother.] Oh yeah. We’re just attracted to Dean.

Sam is a madonna/beta. [Very little discussion or explanation on this.] 

[Cas is alpha/bitch] Iga… like Bela. Which is why they… [Henrickson, also alpha/bitch. Dean’s type is alpha/bitch]. We’ve broken this down to the nine essential genders. 

They’re a bit confused on ‘beta’, especially beta vs. omega. Do we need more gender here? 

The writers must pick up on this [this being, Cas not being hyper masculine / being a nb icon], and maybe that’s why Misha Collins is treated so shit. [Arguably true. This is the episode of “the gay little sit”.]

[quietwingsinthesky]

Sending hugs always!

Drunken/drugged/sleepy confessions

For the Ask game please and thank you!

hugs 🫂

“I wish I could be like you.” Sam has a loose tongue when he’s high. He’s seated between her legs on the floor in front of her chair. It works well for Charlie, who can’t stick to a single train of thought very well herself. She stares down at her hands, tangled up in strands of Sam’s hair, and it takes her a few minutes to both remember what she was doing (braiding it) and answer Sam.

“Like me how?” she asks.

“That’s- That’s not what I meant to say,” Sam tries to distract her, but it’s too late, she’s already charged up too many words to stop now.

“Funny?” Sam snorts. “Hot? A nerd? You’re already a nerd, Sam. You’ve got everything I do. Except for being a woman, but-”

Sam goes very, very still. Charlie keeps talking.

“-come on, that’s really easy to change.” There is zero way she’s going to figure out how to braid his hair, which is a real shame because she got halfway there before forgetting and now she’s got to figure out how to untangle it. That would be easier if she didn’t get so dizzy.

“What?” Sam asks.

“What?” she echoes. “Your hair? Sorry.”

“No, you said… I mean, that’s not something I can just change.”

“Change what?”

“I can’t be a woman because I want to. That’s not how-“

“Why not? I did. Am.” Sam turns hishead to look at her. “Do you want to?”

“What do you mean, you did?” Charlie blanks for a second. The sentence that came before the last one she’d said had fallen completely out of her brain as soon as it had left her mouth. She catches it, barely.

“Sam, you know I’m trans, right?” Sam blinks. Charlie considers, for the first time, that maybe she’s really pulling this off so well that Sam thinks she’s cis, a thought quickly followed by the determination to get a lot weirder very quickly. She leans down and tries to whisper. (She doesn’t do a good job. Volume control isn’t her strong-suit when she’s not blazed. Sam flinches. She pats his head apologetically.) “Do you want to be a woman, too?”

Sam’s mouth does that sad thing it always does when Sam’s upset, quivers and pinches like it has to hold everything in.

“Could I?”

Charlie’s heart flutters. She can’t stop grinning so hard that it makes her face hurt. Sam looks a little anxious.

“I can show you how to DIY estrogen!” Charlie says. “Or we could get it normal, that’s not hard, but you like… research? Right?” Sam laughs.

She doesn’t laugh a lot. Charlie’s happy she can make it happen, even if only once.

“Also, I don’t know how to fix your hair. I think I made it worse.” Sam reaches up to touch the accidental knots Charlie made trying to unbraid her hair. Sam, somehow, figures out how to fix it. It’s like magic. Charlie’s spellbound. Then again, she got enthralled by the mirror above Sam’s tiny sink earlier, so that’s not saying much.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready for that, or if I want to, but”—Sam ducks her head—“thanks, Charlie.”

“You’re the closest thing to a sister I have,” Charlie blurts out.

And Sam’s smile? Well, sometimes Charlie really gets why Dean once sold his soul for Sam.

[iamsortableelms]

Olivia Winchester

“I’m very good at getting answers, Sammy. Persuasive maybe. You can trust me. I promise.” 

-Olivia Winchester to Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ G E O M E T R I C S ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Full name ↫

Olivia Calliope Winchester

↬ Nickname ↫

OC (by Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester)

Bud/Buddy/Red/Rockstar (by Dean Winchester)

Kit Kat/Kitty/Squirt (by Sam Winchester)

Chicken/Noodle/O (by Castiel)

Little Squirrel/Simba/Marmaduke

Liv (by everyone)

Livy/Calli (by Sam Uley)

Livia/Calliope (by Caius)

Darlin/Sunshine/Bunny (by Jasper Whitlock)

Kansas (by school friends)

The Beast (when referring to her wolf form)

↬ Age ↫

17-

↬ Birthday ↫

April 1, 1998

↬ Birthplace ↫

Lebanon, Kansas

↬ Zodiac ↫

Aries 

↬ Height ↫

5’7”

↬ Gender ↫

Female

↬ Orientation ↫

Heterosexual

↬ Species ↫

Human, Part Witch, Knight of Hell (cured), Vampire (cured), Werewolf (partially cured)

Olivia is the only partial werewolf. Due to it, her brown eyes changed to an amber color. Sam and Dean believe it to be because of her part witch side that the cure didn’t work fully. Olivia is able to transform into a wolf, unlike werewolves, she doesn’t shift due to the moon.  She shifts due to anger and can’t control it. She doesn't have the infectious bite of a full werewolf and silver doesn’t hurt her.

↬ Wolf Form ↫

American Red Wolf

“Cat’s out of the bag. Or should I say wolf.” 

-Olivia Winchester to Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ A P P E A R A N C E ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Skin color ↫

Pale

↬ Eye color ↫

Green (human)

Brown (half werewolf)

Glowing Amber (changing to wolf form)

Amber (wolf form)

↬ Hair color ↫

Red

↬ Hair style ↫

Long, straight 

↬ Fur color ↫

Warm brown, hints of red, tan stomach and under jaw

↬ Body Type ↫

Hourglass, healthy

↬ Scars ↫

Small scar on her upper lip, bitten by Tyler when she got too close to him in wolf form.

Claw marks on her ribs from a werewolf before she was able to kill it.

↬ Piercing ↫

ear piercings and belly button

“I could kill you and make it seem like an accident.” 

-Olivia Winchester to Caius Volturi & Volturi guard.

╔════════════╗

♚ C L O T H I N G ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Outfits ↫

Plus band t-shirts from every old school rock band imaginable. Thanks dad.

↬ Accessories ↫

- Anti possession necklace

- Vial of holy water on a keychain

- Lighter

- Gun, with rounds of silver and iron bullets in differently mark cartridges

- Hell forged blade, curducey of the former King of Hell himself Crowley

↬ Vehicles ↫

- Red 1992 Honda CB750

- Red 1948 Ford Super Deluxe

“I thought you loved me. Guess all boys are the same.” 

-Olivia Winchester to Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ P E R S O N A L I T Y ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Normal mood ↫

Normally curious

↬ Temper ↫

Hot headed

↬ Discipline ↫

Breaks rules

↬ Strengths ↫

Kind, physically strong

↬ Weaknesses ↫

Hurting her family

↬ Fears ↫

Losing everyone

↬ Soft spot ↫

Her dad and uncle

↬ Role model ↫

Her dads

“Who would have thought that little red would be painting the big bad wolf?” 

-Olivia Winchester to Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ R E L A T I O N S H I P S ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Father ↫

Dean Winchester

↬ Mother ↫

Unknown to Olivia, Aspen Onyx Garrett, thought to be a witch or half witch

↬ Other relatives ↫

Sam Winchester (uncle), Castiel (like a dad, Destiel is real in this story.), Bobby Singer (surrogate grandfather) ♰, John Winchester (paternal-grandfather) ♰, Mary Winchester (paternal-grandmother) ♰, Jasper Whitlock-Hale (maternal-great-great-great-great-granduncle), Emily Whitlock (maternal-great-great-great-great-grandmother) ♰, Mr. & Mrs. Whitlock (maternal-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents) ♰

↬ Friends ↫

Men of Letters, Winchester Family, Castiel, Jack, Kline, Crowley, Bobby Singer, Jo Harvelle, Ellen Harvelle, Jody Mills, Benny Lafitte, Claire Novak, Stefan Salvatore, and Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert, Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Matt Donovan, Alaric Saltzman, Tyler Lockwood

↬ Best friend ↫

Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran, Jeremy Gilbert

↬ Relationship status ↫

Single

“If you thought I’d let you do this by yourselves you must be even dumb then everyone give you credit for.” 

-Olivia Winchester to Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ P A S S - T I M E ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Hobbies ↫

Working out, giving out nicknames to friends.

↬ Talents ↫

Running

↬ Sports ↫

Track 

↬ Occupation ↫

Student, Hunter, Woman of Letters

“Sam. Pick up the fucking phone. I need Scooby for my Shaggy.” 

-Olivia Winchester leaving a voicemail for Sam Uley

╔════════════╗

♚ H O M E   L I F E ♚

╚════════════╝

↬ Location ↫

Constantly moving from hotel to hotel until recently. Her dad, uncle and her got a job in Forks, Washington about missing people and bodies drained of blood, as well as giant wolf like creatures. They are renting  a house in the forest to keep eyes out and Olivia is going undercover as a student in the nearby school, Forks High School.

↬ House size ↫

Medium  

↬ House type ↫

↬ Indoor description ↫

↬ Bedroom description ↫

“So you’re vamp royalty. That’s almost as dumb as sparkling in the sun.”

-Olivia Winchester to Caius Volturi

╔════════════╗

♚ T H E M E    S O N G ♚

╚════════════╝

OLIVIA

one direction

01:25 ━━━━●───── 02:58

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

- Katherine McNamara - 

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Pac-Man Fever: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

You're picking out Joanna's outfit to wear when she throws her shirt on the ground in protest.

"Baby, you're not going out there without a shirt on."

"I don't wanna wear that one."

"Okay, which one do you want to wear?"

Joanna rushes to her closet and yanks on the bottom of a bright pink unicorn shirt that won't match her bright yellow pants she picked out. At this point, you don't care what she wears as long as she wears it.

"Okay, go put your pants on."

You grab the shirt while she runs back to her bed where her pants are. She struggles to put them on, but she manages just fine. There is no zipper or button, just an elastic band that fits around her waist. You grab her to help her with her shirt, but she wiggles away from you.

"Jo, let me help you put this on."

"No!" she giggles and grabs the shirt away from you.

She runs out of the room in search of her dad. With a shake of your head, you go to Maryann's room which is across the hall from Joanna's. Maryann is cooing from inside her crib, and she smiles when she sees you. She lifts her arms as if she wants to be held by you.

"Come here, my angel."

You pick her up and kiss her nose, leaving her room without looking at Robert's door. You take her to the library where you see Dean on his laptop. He has cameras up that you hacked into so he can try and find Kevin. No word has popped up regarding him, and you don't want to call his mother because she may not even know he is missing.

Joanna comes running around the corner without a shirt on, holding her shirt in her hand.

"Daddy, I need help."

Dean smiles when he sees her, and he grabs the shirt from her hands.

"Pink and yellow, huh? Was this Jo's decision?" Dean asks you.

"All her. She doesn't want my help."

"Come here, sweetheart." Dean pulls her close and helps her into her shirt, ruffling her hair when he's done. "All better."

"Thank you," she says and runs off.

"Here is child number two."

Dean takes Maryann from your arms, smiling at her in a way a dad does. Maryann giggles and reaches out for Dean, but her tiny arms can't quite reach his face. He pulls her in close and gives her a raspberry on her clothed stomach, and she laughs loudly. Joanna looks over at her dad giving her sister some love that she becomes jealous.

"My turn!" she says and tries to climb onto her dad's lap.

Dean helps her all the way so that both of his girls are lying in his arms.

"My girls," he says lovingly.

Seeing this tugs on your heart strings, but the moment doesn't last for long. Sam stumbles in seconds later looking like a complete mess. His hair is frizzy, his eyes are red, his skin is pale, and he looks sick.

"Man, I'm telling you, give me five minutes with some clippers," Dean half-jokes.

"Shut up. What time did I lay down?"

"Noon... yesterday," you say.

Sam walks to the chair, but he stumbles slightly. He catches himself on the back of the chair, but you and Dean both see it.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna get dressed. We should go find Kevin."

He turns to leave but stumbles again, and you catch him this time so he doesn't fall.

"Hey, take it easy, Sleeping Beauty. I've hacked into every security camera around Garth's houseboat, Kevin's hometown, and where Mrs Tran lived. Nothing has come up, but Garth is out looking for him, we put out a hunter APB on him, and we will do what we can from here while you get better," you say.

"I'm fine. Y/N, I can still go out there and hunt."

"Bullshit."

"Bet," he slurs a bit.

You look at Dean and shrug. If he wants to hunt, then he has to prove to you that he can. You and Dean take him to the shooting range. You have both kids this time, and you made Joanna wear one of those headphones so the gun doesn't hurt her ears. Your magic protects Maryann, so you're all set to go.

"This is stupid," Sam scoffs.

Dean takes his gun and shoots at the target, hitting the outline in the chest both times.

"If you hit that target, we'll talk about getting you back out there."

"No problem."

Sam takes the gun from Dean and points it at the target with one hand, but he isn't confident when his hand starts shaking. He uses two hands to keep the gun steady, but when he fires, he misses the target by a mile. Not only does he not hit the target, but he doesn't even hit the board the target is on. He hits the wall, and bits of concrete chip off and fall to the ground.

"Look, man, this second trial hit you a lot harder than that first one. I don't know whether it was just more intense or what, but we can't ignore this."

"It felt the same... until the next day."

"Sam, we're going to stay here and keep an eye on you until you get better. Don't make me use my mom voice," you say.

You three head back to the library to check on the cameras when you see a new email in your inbox.

"Hey, we got an email from Charlie." You sit down and click on it, reading it out loud. "In the neighborhood, found you guys a case."

"Found us a case in the neighborhood? How the hell does she know where we are?"

"She doesn't. Not exactly, at least. She says she tracked our cells to a twenty mile radius, then the signal went out. This place must be in something like the Bermuda Triangle."

"Are you saying we can make and receive phone calls from here and nobody can track us? Man, I love this place," Dean chuckles.

You take out your phone and quickly text Charlie where you are, and all three of you go outside while you wait for her to come so she doesn't get lost. You've spent all your time inside the bunker that you didn't really appreciate the beauty of the outside.

There is forest on either side of the Bunker, but it's a big open space that should be used for something. A playground? A backyard? Something that you can offer your kids anytime they want to play outside. The thought crosses your mind, but you store it away for another day.

Moments later, Charlie pulls up in her beaten car.

"Your Highness!" Dean grins.

"What's up, bitches?" Charlie hugs Dean first and then Sam, and when she moves to you, she notices Maryann in your arms. "Who is this?"

"This is Maryann. I was pregnant the last time I saw you," you chuckle and grab Maryann's hand to wave at her.

"I thought there were two of them."

"There was," you nod. "He didn't make it."

"I'm so sorry," she frowns, but you don't want to talk about it.

"What're you doing in Kansas?" Dean asks, pulling Charlie away from that subject.

"A comic convention in Topeka," she says slowly as if she's trying to think of an answer on the spot.

As if she's not really in town for that.

"In the middle of the week?" you ask.

"A girl's gotta get her collectibles. So, are you gonna invite me into your dungeon, or do I gotta answer your 'questions three' first?"

"Allow us to introduce you to the Men of Letters."

Sam leads the group back inside, and Zeus comes running up to her legs. He's been weary of new visitors since Maryann came home. It's why you haven't been taking him anywhere. He will bark and bite at everyone who gets near her, but he seems to like Charlie. He sniffs around her before licking her hand when she goes to pet him.

"Holy awesome. Too bad they got wiped out, though that is what they get for the sexist name."

"What's going on with you? Anything new?" you ask.

"I made a deal with the weirdos of yesteryear, and we're gonna team up to stomp the Shadow Orcs. You guys are still coming to the mid-year jubilee, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Dean smiles.

"So, what's this about a case you found?"

"When I was in Topeka, I saw this pop up over the wire. Tom Blake, a checkout clerk in Salina, went missing on his way home from work. He was found dead yesterday, his insides liquefied. Locals have no idea what happened, and they tried to bury the report so people wouldn't freak, but I flagged it. I have eliminated the following things that go bump in the night--"

"Wait a second. When did you become such an expert?" Sam asks.

"After you guys left, I dug into all things monsters. I'm a wee bit obsessive. If 'wee bit' means completely. I also found this series of books by Carver Edlund?" You roll your eyes and exchange looks with Sam and Dean. "Did those books really happen?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. That is some meta madness." She turns to Dean. "Thanks for saving the world and stuff." She turns to Sam. "Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies." Finally, she turns to you. "Sorry you had to come to your powers the way you did."

"We need to find every single copy of those books and burn them," Sam determines.

"They're online now, so good luck with that."

"Awesome," Dean scoffs. "Y/N and I will go see if there's anything to this case of yours while you and Sam stay here."

"I'm coming with you."

Sam stands up, but he staggers and nearly falls over. Charlie jumps from her seat and grabs his arm.

"Whoa, are you sure you're okay?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Sam, you're not coming with us. I'll tie you down if I have to," you say.

"I'll go with you two," Charlie offers.

"No disrespect, okay, but there's a big difference between reading about hunting and actually hunting."

"I'm coming with," Charlie says with more determination.

"Give her the test," you shrug.

You and Dean take her down to the shooting range while Sam watches the kids upstairs. Dean loads his gun and checks it before handing it to Charlie.

"Are you serious?"

"Okay, now, if you can hit that target then we can talk about you actually—"

Charlie grabs the gun and fires twice, both perfect headshots. She did that without effort, so you can only imagine what she can do with effort. Dean stares at the target and then at her, his expression unreadable.

"What?"

"I say let her come with," you shrug.

"Alright, if you're gonna do a ride along, then you gotta lose the novelty t-shirts."

"Son of a pantsuit," she rolls her eyes.

"It's not as bad as you think. Come on."

Dean and Charlie get the car ready while you make sure your kids are going to be okay. Dean and Charlie have already said their goodbyes, and you make sure you say yours as well. The fridge is stocked with food, Maryann has more than enough formula, there are about two dozen bags of your breast milk in the freezer.

Sam should have no problem with taking care of your children.

"I'm coming with," Sam says as he walks into the kitchen.

"No, you're not. You're going to stay here and watch the kids. Or maybe the kids will watch you. Either way, you're not leaving. If I find you so much as leave this Bunker with or without my kids, I'm breaking both your legs, and then you'll really be out of the game."

Sam opens his mouth to argue, but you don't let him.

"I'm not going to argue Sam. Take care of my kids, or I take you out. It's that simple."

With that, you grab your bag and leave the Bunker to where Dean and Charlie are waiting. Charlie can't come with you and wear what she normally wears, so you have to make a quick stop at the mall and get her something more appropriate.

She's kind of excited to be trying on things she hopes are appropriate for the occasion. To keep Dean calm while he makes her fake FBI badge, you go with her to pick out some things for her.

"What happened to Robert?" she asks suddenly while you're hanging the clothes in the dressing room. You pause, not expecting her to ask about that. "I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it."

"I fell and hit my stomach and my head on the corner of the laundry machine. I woke up to find out my son was dead."

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Try these on. I'll be out there." You leave her alone in the dressing room and join Dean on the couch. "She should be good to go."

"She ask about Robert?"

"Just get that done, okay?" you sigh.

The first outfit she comes out in is a black and white dress that goes to her knees and is a little too tight on her. The fit doesn't feel right to her, so she moves onto the next. The next outfit is a white shirt, bright blue pants, and a yellow jacket. It's very Charlie, but Dean doesn't like it.

The third outside is a black and white polka dot shirt with a zebra striped skirt. You actually think she rocks this outfit, but again, Dean doesn't approve. The fourth outfit is a cheetah print outside that she picked out. The fifth outfit is a bright red romper that doesn't seem to suit her, style-wise. The sixth and final outfit is the one you picked out. It's a boring pantsuit with a light blue shirt and a blue blazer.

Dean likes this one, but you think she should keep some of the other outfits. By the time she is done playing dress up, Dean is done with her badge.

"Hey, you should keep the polka dot and zebra outfit. It seemed to suit you."

"Look, I'm sorry for bringing up Robert," she sighs.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I guess I'm just not over it."

"You shouldn't be. He was your child. If you need anything, even a girls night out, I'm here for you."

"Thanks," you smile and give her a hug. You two come out of the dressing room while Dean cleans up his mess and packs his things. "So, you want a rundown of what's been happening with us?"

"Obviously." You give her a quick run down without going too much into all the details. "Trials? That's never good."

"Yeah, and our prophet's in the wind."

"What about Castiel? He seems helpful, and dreamy," Charlie smirks.

"He is dreamy," you chuckle.

"Excuse me?"

"What? He has ocean blue eyes," you wink at him.

"He's MIA with a tablet of his own, doing God knows what. I mean, to be honest this whole thing is... I mean, Sam's a tough son of a bitch, but Cas is saying that these trials are messing with him in ways that even he can't heal."

"If it's any consolation, having read your history, there is pretty much nothing the Winchesters can't do if they work together. Witch included. It must be nice having a brother and a spouse, someone to always watch your back."

"You don't have any brothers or sisters?" you ask.

"Actually I have two. Their names are XBOX and PS3."

Dean takes out his phone, but he seems frustrated with it.

"I'm not getting any reception. Can I use your phone?"

"Sure."

Charlie tosses Dean her phone, and he calls Sam to check on him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you doing okay?"

"Yes, Dean. I'm still fine. Look, I can hunt, I—"

"Remember, Sam, broken legs. Love you. Bye." You hang up the phone for him and hand Charlie her phone back. "I could have used my phone for that."

"Great, now that we're all settled, let's get going. There's a body waiting for us to examine."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[deanjohn]

♡ 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧 (𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐨𝟑) 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♡

1. praise you like i should

rating: E / word count: 2k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: John discovers that Dean has a praise kink.

Tags: established relationship, stanford era, praise kink, daddy kink, bottom dean, top john, aftercare

2. burnin’ for you

rating: M / word count: 1k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: Dean wants John to burn him with a cigarette while they’re in bed.

Tags: established relationship, stanford era, pain kink, pillow talk

3. hold me just like the morning paper

rating: E / word count: 6k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: Dean falls into a depression after Sam leaves. John finds a way to help him and it goes farther than he expects it to.

Tags: stanford era, case fic, getting together, first time, touch-starved, cuddling, oral sex, developing relationship, mutual pining, sharing a bed, huddling for warmth

4. choking on flowers

rating: E / word count: 7.5k / chapters: 2/2

Summary: John decides that Dean and him deserve a bit of a break from hunting after getting together. He reserves them 3 nights at a honeymoon motel.

Tags: established relationship, stanford era, marathon sex, pillow talk, choking, daddy kink, spanking, rimming, aftercare, breathplay, top john, bottom dean

5. in framing

rating: T / word count: 4.9k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: Dean's an adult now and thinks he can get away with sneaking out for a night. He's wrong.

Tags: child abuse, child neglect, physical abuse, pre-canon, pre-relationship, alcohol abuse, unresolved sexual tension, unhealthy coping mechanisms, character study

6. his

rating: E / word count: 4.6k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: “You grow up hearing the phrase daddy’s girl lobbied in your direction. Daddy’s, that part you can agree with. Yes, I’m his, you think to yourself. That part feels true.

Girl, that part not so much.”

Tags: pre-canon, trans male dean, transitioning, domestic, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, getting together, first kiss, first time, dead dove: do not eat, hurt/comfort, bittersweet ending, character study

7. made your bed, now lie in it

rating: M / word count: 3k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: John comes home from a hunt to find Dean sleeping in his bed. He can't help but join him.

Tags: pre-canon, mutual pining, sharing a bed, first kiss, hurt/comfort, tenderness, pillow talk, pre-relationship

8. catch you

rating: E / word count: 5k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: "He swallows hard before he says, “I want you to fuck me. Would you wanna do that?”

His heart is beating so hard he hardly hears himself over the sound as he replies, “Yeah, yes. Can I right now?” There’s the sound of his blood rushing in his ears, his mouth is dry in anticipation. It’s not a desire that he’s had before, not even a thought spared for it, but now he can’t think of anything he wants more. He visualizes his father laying out, ready for him, and he’s hard already."

Tags: established relationship, stanford era, bottom john, top dean, praise kink, cock worship, face-fucking, hair pulling, rimming, comeplay, tenderness, daddy kink

9. where the evening splits in half

rating: E / word count: 4.9k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: “Sam says, "I know how you felt about the man."

No, he doesn’t.

He doesn’t know that Dad was a pig. He has no idea how far down Dean was in the mud with him. How dirty they both were, how much Dad ruined him.

Sam doesn’t know how he hated him almost as much as he loved him, how he wanted him close always and yet wanted him to get the hell away from him at the same time. How disgusting their father was, how he was everything, how he longed for him and still does. How there is a secret part of him that is relieved he’s dead. How he would bring him back to life if he could and kiss him until his beard burned his skin, how he misses that familiar sting.”

Tags: episode: s02e02 everybody loves a clown, grief/mourning, childhood sexual abuse, dead dove: do not eat, character study

10. let’s pretend this song won’t end

rating: m / word count: 6.5k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: Dean asks John to teach him how to slow dance for Prom.

Tags: slow dancing, unresolved sexual tension, feelings realization, affection, first kiss, getting together

11. working for the knife

rating: e / word count: 5.3k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: After rescuing John from a hunt gone wrong, Dean can’t stop thinking about how he looked tied up.

Tags: stanford era, established relationship, rope bondage, knife play, consensual kink, submissive john winchester, oral sex

12. visitation

rating: e / words: 3.3k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: John surprises Sam with a visit at Stanford.

Tags: stanford era, implied/referenced alcohol abuse/alcoholism, implied/referenced child abuse, cheating (sorry jess), hurt/comfort, rough kissing, oral sex

13. pretty in pink

rating: e / words: 1.8k / chapters: 1/1

Summary: John sighs when he reaches him. “Look at you.” He reaches out and hooks a finger in the apron string where it's tight against his side. “My perfect little wife.”

Dean sucks in a sharp breath and John pulls him closer, loosening the apron enough so that he gets a peek at what’s underneath. He groans and kisses him, mumbles into his mouth, “Jesus. You kill me, baby.”

Wife. The word is the echo of a church bell in his mind, a dull and encompassing sound. He’s felt like one to him for as long as he can remember but it’s never been said. He thinks yes, I’m your wife. I am, I am, I am.

Tags: domestic, panty kink, breeding kink, rough sex, established relationship, stanford era

[shallowseeker]

when dean thinks he’s alone, he definitely dances to (embarrassing) songs in the kitchen

///

there are exactly twelve times he gets caught.

1. the first time, it’s sam. dean knows it’s sam because sam doubles over in over-the-top laughter right away.

for weeks after that, sam starts singing, “too high, can’t come do—own,” in a britney-toned falsetto.

the dick.

2. the second time isn’t so bad. dean’s doing a lil sock-footed shimmy to aretha franklin’s r-e-s-p-e-c-t, and he catches a face-full of kevin tran’s spit-take.

pepsi. yuck.

coulda been worse for sure.

3. the third time’s pretty bad. he really should know better by now.

dean’s in his dead-guy robe, and one of those crackley old recordings of irving berlin’s dancing cheek to cheek comes on over the tinny radio he’s got propped up in the bunker kitchen. (grammy hall of fame 2000 version.) dean imagines frank sinatra and ginger rogers, and he starts to sway, liking how his robe billows around when he spins. it’s a little bit like fighting, except…

…the big band sound’s got him feeling a little giddy.

he spins a little faster and mouths along to the lyrics, “And the cares that hung around me through the week, Seem to vanish like a gamblers lucky streak, When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.”

dean picks up the still-cold cast iron skillet (he plans to make an omelet in a little while) and smooshes his hot, hot cheek against its cold surface.

the music swells.

Dance with me , I want my arm about you , That charm about you, Will carry me through to Heaven

and suddenly, cas is there. his face is pinched as he watches and—shit that’s actually cas. in the doorway. not some weirdo daydream.

the skillet lands on dean’s foot with a painful thud, and dean slams his hand down on the radio and fumbles till the volume cuts completely.

“dammit cas! don’t sneak up on a guy like that!”

(cas is still a new and relatively uncommon presence in the bunker, after all.)

“i wasn’t…sneaking. Dean, your foot.”

dean ignores the skillet on the ground and puts a hand on his hip, affecting hopefully something blasé and uncaring. “hm? oh. my foot’s good, dude.”

cas raises a brow, then pointedly tracks his eyes to the table across the room.

just peachy.

now cas wants to heal him. this just gets better and better. dean takes a limping step.

ow. nope.

yeah, if he limps his way over there, it’ll be obvious how much his damn toes hurt.

next, cas looks pointedly at the taller, bar height table—the one closer to the stove, and to dean. dean mutters an annoyed, “okay, okay,” before making a great show of rolling his eyes and hoisting himself up.

“it’s not that bad, cas.” he swings his feet childishly for emphasis.

cas kneels. and slides off dean’s soft house-shoe. his fingerpads wrap around dean’s ankle as he leans forward to inspect.

yeah, the toes are swollen as fuck. three of them are purple and there’s black blood underneath the second toenail. (that pressure is probably what hurts. were he alone, dean would probably drill a hole in it or yank the nail, just to release the pressure.)

as it is, dean’s already relaxing before cas even fixes it, probably a pavlovian response to cas healing him so many times.

then hot, hot grace flows in, and the pain ebbs away. cas’s fingers drift down towards dean’s toes, like he’s checking them one last time.

for some damn reason, dean wriggles his toes as cas’s fingers sweep by. then, like dean’s toes have some kind of angel banishing sigil carved on them, cas is up and headed for the library, muttering something about helping sam.

it’s probably dean’s imagination, but he thinks he hears cas humming the sinatra song, a whole week later.

dean thinks about how the skillet felt against his cheek.

[abihastastybeans]

I posted 5,499 times in 2022

That's 5,499 more posts than 2021!

189 posts created (3%)

5,310 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shehatedhimnahshedidnt

@sweetpeasandlilies

@soloorganaas

@inthe-afterglows

@annabtg

I tagged 3,207 of my posts in 2022

Only 42% of my posts had no tags

#lol - 336 posts

#jily - 152 posts

#music - 114 posts

#wolfstar - 87 posts

#lmao - 87 posts

#sirius black - 77 posts

#spn - 71 posts

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#prev tags - 61 posts

#tumblr is - 49 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#am i just someone who reblogs so many random stuff and you follow me to see them?? or what else? i'd love to know because y'all are so cool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OH MY GOD all the people saying that if you associate yourself with Harry Potter you're clearly transphobic etc etc

It hurts dude

All the fanfic writers and artists and kind people in the fandom are doing so so much to erase the narrow minded ideologies involved in that franchise. You think they support JKR?

JKR was the one who named a black guy 'Shacklebolt' (fine, it didn't bother me when I was little because I didn't know much about anything). She's the one who had a single somewhat-main asian character and then reduced her to a "clingy pathetic girl" because a young girl who's emotional and confused and who's boyfriend just freaking died is not a ''strong female representation". She's the one who had imperialistic contexts in a species in her stories and then mocked the only girl who tried to do something about it.

You think I support her transmisogyny? You think I support her white supremacist ideas? Buddy you think I'm white?

FINE I'm a cishet girl who hasn't faced discrimination of the kind that the trans people and other similar communities have endured but for the love of god please don't generalize the whole HP fanbase.

36 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#4

I just saw someone defending Snape saying that he had no personal reason/motive to save Katie Bell and i don't know i COULD be wrong but isn't that what teachers do? When your student is in danger, a teacher helps them, right?

Say, HYPOTHETICALLY, if i were a teacher, and i saw one of my students choke on something I'd immediately heimlich maneuver the shit out of them and save them. As a teacher. Because I'm supposed to care for them.

"Sneep didn't have any personal gain from saving her but he did it anyway because he's Good Like That" shut up shut up shut up shut up

41 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

JILY CHALLENGE | AUGUST 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Travel!

Prompt: "At last I find myself on top of that mountain, or in this absolute amazing place I was dying to see but now I can’t help but feel a bit sad that you are not here. But wait, what are you doing here? Are you following me around?"

Make sure to read the fic written by my lovely partner @un-peu-folle!

Constructive criticism are welcome :-)

61 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

#2

November Rain

JILY CHALLENGE | NOVEMBER 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Tropefest!

Trope: stranded/locked up together / maybe there’s a bit of veritaserum

Prompt: "You are useless"

Partners: @practicecourts & @constancezin

Sweet thanks to @practicecourts for the title and for being my beta (go check out her fic here!) & to @constancezin for her inputs and the GORGEOUS art she did for the fic!

Summary: James Potter seeks haven in a stranger's house when he finds himself stranded on the pavement because of a storm.

Read here on ao3!

92 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

JILY CHALLENGE | JUNE 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Taylor Swift!

Prompt: "You got that James Dean daydream look in your eyes. And I got that red lip classic thing that you like"

Make sure to read the amazing piece being written by my partner @inthe-afterglows !

(give constructive criticism if you've got any :-D)

94 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

You Have Me. Remember It.

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JYBPAin by rocketshipinspace “Their kids had been taken. Sure, Kevin had his own mum, and the girls lived with Jody, but they were all family. This was bigger than just Jack. Whoever was responsible had better start running. Dean almost felt sorry for them. Fortunately, the homicidal rage balanced it out, and Dean had the comfort of knowing none of it had come from a supernatural influence. Just his own bloodlust for whoever had gone this personal.” Or Post the weird non end of Season 15 (can’t believe they never released the final ep, right?), Dean and Sam are not alone. Dean rescues Cas, some monster is gunning for their kids, and there’s a family reunion. Good thing there’s enough space in the bunker. This is what it means to say family doesn’t end or start in blood. Words: 11304, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jack Kline, Eileen Leahy, Mary Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Kevin Tran (Supernatural), Linda Tran (Supernatural), Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Kaia Nieves, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Ash (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters, Rowena MacLeod, Benny Lafitte, Victor Henriksen, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Krissy Chambers, Emma (Supernatural: Slice Girls), Bobby John (Supernatural: Two and a Half Men), The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Victor Henriksen/Benny Lafitte, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, POV Multiple, POV Dean Winchester, Shapeshifting, Angels, Witches, Spells & Enchantments, Curses, Vampires, Parent Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from the Empty, Kidnapping, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Rescue, Romance, No Smut, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Parent Castiel (Supernatural), Memory Magic, Hallucinations, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Idiots in Love, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Canon read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JYBPAin

[deancodedinthewater]

Hook Man Part 2

The church wasn’t the biggest in the world, and Dean got the feeling it wasn’t going to be anything like Pastor Jim’s with the underground weapons vault, but it was a fairly standard American church. A low white building pretending to have some grandeur with its tiny spire. They could hear the Reverend from outside.

“Our hearts go out to the  family of a young man who perished,” he was saying. “And my personal prayers of thanks go out as well because I believe he died trying to protect my daughter.” Dean zoned the speech- sermon- remembrance- whatever it was out as they opened the door. It slammed behind them and suddenly there was nothing for Dean to zone out. Sam waved awkwardly and ducked as they sat down in the back. “The loss of a young person is particularly tragic,” the reverend continued. “A life unlived is the saddest of passings.”

A girl near the front turned and stared at them. Sam gave her a weak smile and Dean just ignored her.

“So, please, let us pray,” the reverend said, spreading his hands wide before clasping them together in front of him. “For peace, for guidance, and for the power to protect our children.” Everyone around them bowed their heads in prayer but Dean didn’t notice, too busy blankly staring out the windows and rubbing the pads of his fingers together. Sam elbowed him.

‘What?’ he signed, glancing at his brother and then the collection of bowed heads. Dean gave Sam a sheepish smile and dipped his own head.

They hung around after the service, waiting to catch Lori before she left. Dean perched himself on the edge of a wall and watched all of the people coming out as he plucked at a loose thread in the hole in his jeans.

“I can’t,” the girl that had been staring at them said as she came out of the church with her friend. “It’s Sunday night.”

“It’s just us girls,” her friend said, grabbing her hands and squeezing them together. “We’re gonna do tequila shots and watch Reality Bites.”

The girl gave her friend an apologetic look. “My dad makes dinner every Sunday night,” she explained.

“Come on, Lori,” her friend said, swinging their joined hands between them. Watching them made Dean realise how different he was from normal people. Even if he wasn’t trans he wouldn’t understand routines. Staying in the same place long enough to set up a pattern wasn’t in the cards for Dean. “I know this has been hard, but you are allowed to have fun.”

Sam nudged Dean. Dean frowned at him and signed ‘what?’. 

Sam pointed at Lori. “Oh,” Dean whispered. He pushed Sam in her direction.

“I’ll try,” Lori said and her friend rolled her eyes.

“Okay,” her friend said before hugging her goodbye and leaving.

“Are you Lori?” Sam asked as he stumbled forwards into Lori’s path. Dean would have laughed if they weren’t in the middle of something.

“Yeah,” Lori answered, frowning at Sam and then Dean in turn.

“My name is Sam,” Sam told her, holding a hand to his chest and then waving it at Dean. “This is my brother, Dean.”

Dean waved a greeting. “Hi.”

“We just transferred here,” Sam said. “To the university.”

“I saw you inside,” Lori said. Dean snorted a laugh in the back of his throat. Understatement. Sam shot a glare his way.

“We don’t want to bother you,” Sam continued. “We just heard about what happened and...”

“We wanted to say how sorry we were,” Dean finished. “We, er... we know what you’re going through.”

“We’ve both witnessed someone... getting hurt,” Sam explained, he chuckled darkly. “It’s not something you forget in a hurry.”

“Or ever,” Dean added.

 Lori nodded to them and glanced to the side when a hand landed on her shoulder. “Oh Dad,” she said, gesturing to them. “This is Sam and Dean. They’re new students.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you , sir,” Dean said, holding his hand out for a handshake. “I must say, that was an inspiring sermon.” Pretending he was paying attention was a specialty of Dean’s that he had developed in middle school.

“Thank you very much,” the reverend said, falling for Dean’s act hook, line and sinker. “It’s so nice to find young people who are open to the Lord’s message.”

Dean chuckled. “Listen, we’re new in town actually,” he said as he placed a hand on the reverend’s shoulder and subtly led him away. “And we were looking for a, um. A church group.”

-

Sam watched Dean not so subtly lead the reverend away and then turned back to Lori. “Tell me, Lori,” he said as he fell into step beside her. “What are the police saying?”

“Well, they don’t have a lot to go on,” Lori said, shifting her shoulders as she looked away. “I think they blame me for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“My story,” she explained, turning back towards Sam. “I was so scared, I guess I was seeing things.” She stopped walking and Sam came up next to her. He put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him.

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t real,” Sam told her, giving her a sympathetic smile which she returned.

-

“So you believe her?” Dean asked as they wandered the local library. He tugged on the cord of his necklace, twisting it until the knot was at the back.

“I do,” Sam replied, nodding.

“Yeah,” Dean said, raising an eyebrow at his brother as he grinned. “I think she’s hot too.”

“No, man, there’s something in her eyes,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes at Dean. “And listen to this: she heard scratching on the roof. Found the body suspended upside down over the car.”

“Wait, the body suspended? That sounds like the-”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam said, cutting Dean off. “The Hook Man legend.” Dean’s mouth dropped open and he stared at Sam.

“No fucking way,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s one of the most famous urban legends ever. You don’t think we’re dealing with the Hook Man?”

“Every urban legend has a source,” Sam said, shrugging. “A place where it began.”

“Yeah, but what about the phantom scratches and the tyre punctures and the invisible killer?”

“Well, maybe the Hook Man isn’t a man at all,” Sam suggested. “What if it’s some kind of spirit?”

“So what are we looking for?” Dean asked. “We don’t exactly have any leads on this one.” Dean watched Sam as he thought for a moment and then a lightbulb seemed to turn on in his head. Sam started walking towards the front desk with a purpose. “Sammy?”

“If we look for similar cases through history,” Sam said, more to himself than to Dean and Dean really had to focus to catch Sam’s words. “We might find whoever the ghost is.” Sam stopped at the front desk. “Hi, could you help us? We’re working on a project and need arrest warrants dating back as far as they go.”

“You boys doing a big project?” The librarian asked.

“Research project,” Sam answered, nodding.

“You go find yourselves a table, I’ll get the records.”

It was a good few minutes before the librarian came back up to their table with a stack of boxes. She set them down and split them. “Here you go,” he said. “Arrest records going back to 1851.”

 Dean pulled one towards him and blew the dust off. A cloud of the stuff came up and he coughed. He signed thanks and Sam repeated it out loud.

“Okay,” the librarian replied before walking away to go back to doing whatever Librarians did.

“So,” Dean said, turning to Sam with an eyebrow raised. “This is how you spent a good four years of your life, huh?”

Sam smirked at him. “Welcome to higher education.” He pulled his own box forward and they started going through them. Dean managed to keep his focus on the files, which was its own miracle. They had been at it for hours and he was beginning to feel lost in the words and dates.

“Dean,” Sam called and Dean flinched. “You good? I called your name like three times.”

“You did?” Dean asked, frowning. “Didn’t hear anything.”

Sam gave him a worried look but didn’t press. “Check this out,” He said, indicating one of the records he had open in front of him. Dean got up and looked over his brother’s shoulder at it. “1862. A preacher named Jacob Karns was arrested for murder. Looks like he was so angry over the red light district in town that one night he killed 13 prostitutes. Right here.” He pointed to a passage and read it outloud. “‘Some of the deceased were found in bed, sheets soaked with blood. Others suspended upside down from the limbs of trees as a warning against sins of the flesh.’”

As Sam talked Dean’s eyes scanned over the other pages. “Get this, murder weapon?” he said pointing at a drawing of a hook shaped prosthetic hand. “Looks like the preacher lost his hand in an accident. Had it replaced with a silver hook.”

“Look where it happened,” Sam said, grabbing one of the pages and handing it to Dean.

“9 Mile Road,” Dean read.

“Same place where the frat boy was killed.”

“Nice job, Dr Venkman,” Dean said, patting Sam’s shoulder. “Let’s check it out.” Sam gathered up all of the stuff they needed and they left. Dean waved to the librarian as they passed her.

-

“I know this is your first time really living alone since Mom died,” Lori said, turning to her dad as he pulled up in the driveway for her sorority. He shook his head and turned worried eyes on her.

“That’s not it,” he said, reaching out and clasping her hand. “I worry about you.”

Lori squeezed her dad’s hand. “There are 22 girls in there,” she said, smiling at him. “I’m perfectly safe.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” her dad replied, waving his free hand at the building. “You don’t think I know what goes on in there?”

“Dad, do we have to have this argument again?” Lori asked, squinting at her dad. “I’m over 18. I can live my own life.”

“Oh, which means drinking, partying with that roommate of yours!”

“I’m an adult,” Lori snapped back. “I can take care of myself. Good night.” She got out of the car and slammed it.

“Lori, come on,” he dad called back. “Lori!” Lori ignored him and stomped her way up to her room.

She passed a few open doors on her way up, other girls working at computers or notebooks inside. Lori ran her fingers along the wall near their bedroom, her nails catching on a crack in the wall that hadn’t been there that morning. She frowned for a moment before deciding to ignore it and continue on. Her hand pauses over the light switch as she looks into their room and sees Taylor fast asleep on her bed.

“Taylor, you awake?” She whispered. Taylor didn’t move so Lori quietly gathered her pyjamas and went into the closet to change. When she came out she glanced over at Taylor, who shifted and mumbled in her sleep, before climbing into her own bed and going to sleep.

-

When they got to 9 Mile Road, Dean opened the trunk and held a shotgun out for Sam. "Here you go."

Sam looked at it sceptically. "If it is a spirit," he said, not taking the gun. "Buckshot won't do much good."

"Yeah, rock salt," Dean replied with a grin. He pushed the gun into Sam's hands.

“Huh,” Sam said, giving the gun an appraising look. “Salt being a spirit deterrent.” Dean grinned at him as he grabbed some rope and shut the trunk.

“Yeah, it won’t kill ‘em,” he said, coming up beside Sam as they started to walk into the tree line. “But it’ll slow ‘em down.”

“That’s pretty good. You and Dad think of this?”

“I told you,” Dean said, walking backwards as he threw the coil of rope over his arm. “You don’t have to be a college graduate to be a genius.” Dean turned back to face the way they were going and then froze. He held up his fist to tell Sam to do the same. Something had rustled in the trees. Sam raised his gun. Dean pointed in the direction he had heard the rustling. Sam aimed in that direction.

A body made its way out of the trees and started yelling. “Put the gun down now!” yelled the Sheriff. “Put your hands behind your head!”

“Wai-wait,” Dean stuttered as more officers came out of the trees. “Okay, okay!” He lifted his hands to his head. Sam dropped the shotgun.

“Now get down on your knees,” The sheriff ordered. He pointed his own gun at them. “Come on, do it! On your knees.” Dean dropped to his knees. Sam went down a little slower. “Now get on your bellies!”

“He had the gun,” Dean complained as he lay down.

-

Lori was slow to wake up the next morning. She grumbled and burrowed into her pillow for a moment before rolling over and opening her eyes. The first thing that registered in her sleepy mind was the colour red. She frowned and propped herself up on an elbow. Blood. The red was a pool of blood slowly dripping from Taylor’s bed.

“Oh my God,” Lori screamed.

On the wall above Taylor’s bed, written in her blood, she read ‘Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?’ And underneath that was a symbol; a cross with four smaller crosses branching off from it. Lori screamed again and scrambled back against her wall.

-

Dean smacked Sam in the chest as they came out of the Police Station. “Saved your ass,” he said, shaking his head. “Talked the sheriff down to a fine. Dude, I am Matlock.”

“Dee, how?”

“I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.”

“What about the shotgun?”

“Told the truth,” Dean said, shrugging. “I said you were hunting ghosts and the spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at him. “And he believed that?”

“Well, you look like a dumbass pledge,” Dean said. “Helped that the gun was actually filled with rock salt.”

As Dean finished speaking several officers sprinted from the building and scrambled for their cars. Multiple police cars shot off with their sirens blaring. Sam and Dean shared a look before rushing to follow.

They drove past the sorority slowly, trying to gauge the situation. There were ambulances and police cars everywhere. People milling about. Being interviewed or just being hysterical. Sam pointed out Lori sat in the back of one of the ambulances, wrapped in a shock blanket.

“I just want to take her home,” they heard her dad say.

“I understand that, Reverend. But Lori is not connected to two murders-” And they drove out of earshot. Dean pulled up just the other side of the mess of emergency vehicles.

“Why would the Hook Man come here?” Sam whispered as they made their way to the back of the building. “This is a long way from 9 Mile Road.”

“Maybe he’s not haunting the scene of the crime,” Dean suggested, gesturing to Sam to hide against the house. “Maybe it’s something else.” Two sorority girls came out of a side door and Dean grinned as he watched them go. “Man if I hadn’t transitioned I could’ve been in a  sorority. Imagine the naked pillow fights.” He turned around to give his brother a filthy grin and nearly got a face full of foot as Sam climbed the side of the building. 

Dean grabbed the foot and gave Sam something to push off of. He then scrambled up after him. They worked their way around the eaves of the building till they found Lori’s window. Sam pulled it up and then made his way inside. Dean kept look out for a moment before following Sam in.

He may have been too hasty as he landed on his brother. “Ow, get off,” Sam whispered.

“Oh, sorry!” Dean said.

“Be quiet,” Sam replied, whacking him.

“You be quiet,” Dean whispered back.

“You be quiet!” Sam whacked him again and maybe he had a point. 

Sam very carefully pushed the closet door open and watched through the gap. He held up a finger. Dean waited, watching him. After a moment he dropped the finger and then opened the door the rest of the way. The first thing either of them noticed was the message on the wall.

“‘Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?’” Sam read with a dark laugh. “That’s right out of the legend.”

“Yeah,” Dean said with a low whistle. “That’s classic Hook Man alright.” He turned to Sam, tapping his nose. “It’s definitely a spirit.”

“Yeah, I’ve never smelled ozone this strong before,” Sam replied, scrunching his nose up. Dean made his way over to the window, maybe to open up but Sam called him back before he got far. “Hey, check this out.” Dean moved back to stand beside Sam, facing the wall. “Does that look familiar to you?”

Dean frowned at it. “Is that-”

“I think it is,” Sam agreed, nodding. There were footsteps on the stairs and Dean gestured for Sam to leave. As they made their way back into the closet (ha) Dean pulled the door back to where it had been when they arrived.

Back at the car, Sam pulled out the research they had done. He leafed through the pages they had until he found a picture of the silver hook hand of Jacob Karns. Dean looked at it when Sam held it up.

“It’s the same symbol,” Sam said, smacking the paper. “Seems like it is the spirit of Jacob Karns.”

“Alright,” Dean said, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s find the dude’s grave, salt and burn the bones, and put him down.”

Sam pulled a face at him and Dean signed ‘what’ in return. “‘After execution, Jacob Karns was laid to rest in an Old North Cemetery. In an unmarked grave,” Sam read. Dean snarled and Sam continued frowning at the paper.

“Super,” Dean grumbled.

“Okay,” Sam said, dropping the research back into the trunk. “So we know it’s Jacob Karns. But we still don’t know where he’ll manifest next. Or why.”

“I’ll take a wild guess about why,” Dean said, making his way to the driver's door as he pointed at Sam. “I think your little friend Lori has something to do with it.” Dean opened his door and climbed into the seat. He may not have seen it but he could tell Sam was making a little constipated face about it.

When Sam got in the car, Dean felt vindicated because there it was. Sammy’s bitch face. “What’s you plan then Dean?”

-

A college party. That was Dean’s plan. Sam wasn’t entirely sure what being here was going to do. ‘Keep an eye on Lori’ Dean had said as if as soon as they arrived he hadn’t disappeared into the crowd. Last Sam had seen him was in the middle of the dance floor. Sam frowned at the ground between his feet.

“Man,” Dean’s voice made Sam look up and he found his older brother leaning against the wall next to him with a drink in his hand and a grin on his face. “You’ve been holding out on me. This college thing is awesome!” A shirtless guy walked past and smiled at Dean. Dean winked and returned the smile. His eyes followed the guy's ass.

“This wasn’t my experience,” Sam said, folding his arms. Dean didn’t respond.

Dean turned back to him when the guy disappeared around a corner. “What were you even doing at college?” He asked, spreading his arms. “Libraries, studying, straight As?” Sam nodded and Dean shook his head. “What a geek. All these warm bodies and you snuggled a book.” Dean got distracted briefly by a pair of girls in bikinis but he turned back to Sam pretty quick. “You done your homework?”

“Yeah, it was bugging me, alright?” Sam snapped. Dean laughed and sipped on his drink. “So how is the Hook Man tied up with Lori?” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it, showing Dean. “So I think I came up with something.”

Dean’s eyes scanned over the paper. “1932. Clergyman arrested for murder,” he paraphrased. “1967. Seminarian held in hippie rampage.”

“There’s a pattern here,” Sam said, tapping the paper with the back of his hand. “In both cases, the suspect was a man of religion who openly preached against immorality. And then found himself wanted for killings he claimed were the work of an invisible force. Killings carried out- get this- with a sharp instrument.”

Dean sucked in a breath, nodding, but then he froze and frowned. “But what’s the connection to Lori?”

“A man of religion?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows at Dean who gave him a blank look in response. “Who openly preaches against immorality?” Dean’s eyes widened in understanding. “Except this time, instead of saving the whole town, he’s just trying to save his only daughter.”

“Reverend Sorensen,” Dean gasped, clapping his hands together. “You think he’s summoning the spirit?”

“Maybe,” Sam replied, rubbing a hand over his face. “Or you know how a poltergeist can haunt a person instead of a place?”

Dean nodded. “The spirit latches onto the reverend’s repressed emotions, feeds off them. Yeah, okay.”

“Without the reverend ever even knowing it,” Sam added.

“Either way, you should keep an eye on Lori tonight,” Dean said.

“What about you?” Sam asked, attempting to raise a single eyebrow but he knew both went up. His brother glanced to the side, a blond woman in very revealing clothing smiled at him and Sam knew what Dean was thinking.

Without moving his eyes from her, Dean said, “I’m going to go see if I can find that unmarked grave.” He shook his body, head down to his toes, and then turned to Sam with a grin. He mock saluted and walked backwards towards the door.

-

Sam sat on the wall of Lori’s father’s house and watched. Inside he could see Lori and her father arguing about something.

Whatever they had been arguing about seemed to be over now and Reverend Sorensen turned the light out, Lori had left the room first. Sam didn’t know where she had gone. He scanned the windows to see if he could guess which one she would be in when a voice made him jump.

“I saw you from upstairs,” Lori said, settling against the wall beside him. “What are you doing here?”

Sam smiled at her, a little sheepishly, and ducked his head. “I’m keeping an eye on the place.” Lori frowned at him. “I was worried.”

“About me?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, shifting. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s cool. I already called the cops,” Lori said, smiling. Sam laughed. “No, seriously though. I think you’re sweet. Which is probably why you should run away from me as fast as you can.”

Turning till he was facing her fully, Sam frowned. “Why would you say that?”

Lori didn’t look at him, she turned away. “It’s like I’m cursed or something,” she said. “People around me keep dying.”

“I think I know how you feel.” Sam saw Jess as he blinked. He could hear her screaming.

-

Dean grabbed his supplies from the trunk; lighter fluid, shovel, salt, matches and a flashlight. He flicked the flashlight on and made his way into the cemetery. Waving it across headstones.

“Why’d it have to be unmarked?” He grumbled to himself. He wandered between the graves, shining the light over each small stone hoping for even a hint that maybe Karns was under one of them.

The beam of his flashlight passed over something that gave him pause. He turned back to it and stepped closer. The light made it easy to see a symbol carved into the stone. A cross with four smaller crosses branching off from it. The same one that had been on the silver hook and on Lori’s wall.

“Here we go,” Dean said as he dropped his bag next to it and jammed the blade of his shovel into the ground and started to dig.

Digging graves was never fun work and Dean absolutely hated it. He threw another shovel load of dirt out of the hole.

“That’s it. Next time, I get to watch the cute girl’s house,” he grumbled, jabbing down again. He’d gotten the hole pretty decently big and any moment now he was sure he was going to hit the coffin. The tip of his shovel split wood and through the crack he could see bones. “Hello, preacher.” He tossed the shovel up onto solid ground.

He followed after it and grabbed the salt and lighter fluid from his bag. Both of these he poured liberally into the grave, emptying both containers and then dropping those in too. He pulled out the matches next and struck one on the side.

“Goodbye, preacher,” he said as he dropped the match into the grave and set the bones alight.

Masterpost

[laikuh]

vin’s deanjohn reclist aka the rec list only like 2 people asked for!

i made this a wee bit detailed folks, and still in progress as i continue catching up on what’s been posted. but still, here we go!

strictly deanjohn:

even whiskey can’t do (what you do when you kiss me that way) - @amill22

summary: John is not sure when it starts, this tension between them, the low-thrumming undercurrent of something he refuses to name. He just knows he can feel it pulsing in his veins with every beat of his heart whenever they are alone. Which they are now, a lot, with Sam gone.

tropes: daddy kink, praise kink, pre-series, domestic

warnings: n/a

my name engraved on your heart - @amill22

summary: Dean and John, through the years. Cradle to grave.

tropes: pre-series through canon, angst, domestic

warnings: underage, canonical character death

his - @deanjohn

summary: “You grow up hearing the phrase daddy’s girl lobbied in your direction. Daddy’s, that part you can agree with. Yes, I’m his, you think to yourself. That part feels true. Girl, that part not so much.”

tropes: trans!dean, pre-series, domestic

warnings: unplanned pregnancy, abortion

someone forever warm - @chinabluee

summary: He takes a moment to enjoy the thought that John has slayed the monster, now he’s come to claim his prize.

tropes: domestic, breeding kink, praise kink, pwp

warnings: feminization, internalized misogyny

sharp teeth, dry heat (can’t breathe, too many sins) - @chinabluee

summary: Your world was terrifying, and John knew how hard he was to love.

tropes: angst, pre-series

warnings: shame, dubious consent

and you learn how to settle for what you get - @chinabluee

summary: Yet John chooses this, over and over again. John loves Dean more than he loves anything.

tropes: pre-series, daddy kink, angst

warnings: dubious consent, victim blaming language

just like his mother - @lolitanatural

summary: “He ever kiss you?”

Dean’s stomach jolts. “No.”

“Then you’re not his wife.” It’s been years since Sam first brought that shit up, and he still hasn’t dropped it.

Dean tries to fight it off with a laugh. “I take care of his dumbass kid, don’t I?”

tropes: domestic, pre-series

warnings: feminization

the wedding - ninni

summary: Dean is old enough to know that John’s gaze is too sticky-old-man-hungry as it lingers on his bare shoulders when Dean gets out of the shower. John looks at the bare skin like he wants to trace the freckles there with the tip of his tongue.Dean is old enough to know what people would tell him about that look.

tropes: pining, angst

warnings: underage, feminization

too many words - @egipci

summary: Where else would he be but here?

tropes: alternate universe - everyone lives, pwp

warnings: n/a

winter life - @egipci

summary: Dad had already taught him to shave once before.

tropes: pre-series

warnings: n/a

mother - @hellhoundsprey

summary: John, who lost custody of his two sons shortly after his wife died in a tragic accident, gets too emotional for comfort over some kid’s dating profile pictures.

tropes: accidental incest, alternate universe, omegaverse, kidfic

warnings: alcoholism, feminization

dutiful son - severalcuttingremarks

summary: Dean will do anything to protect his family, so when John is hit by a sex curse Dean takes it upon himself to deal with the unpleasant consequences.

tropes: fuck or die, angst, pre-series

warnings: underage, dubious consent, non-con

maginificent son - ilttlestdeath

summary: Dean is fourteen getting off on the image of his father’s naked body.

tropes: daddy kink, D/s, pre-series

warnings: underage, sex work

splitting the atom - alexa_dean

summary: Everything blurs inside him—a cry for help, a release from pain, a plea for love.

tropes: angst, hurt/comfort, pain kink, spanking, pre-series

warnings: rape mention, suicidal thoughts, dubious consent

the weight of us - taste_of_suburbia

summary: Maybe it’ll be enough, just him and his dad; a love, sense of protection and home he can wholeheartedly fall into. Because Sam isn’t here, and Sam’s certainly not offering. Pre-Series, after Sam leaves for college.

tropes: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, pre-series

warnings: abuse mention

the witching hour - tenyearsgone

summary: Sam's absence tangles with all the rest of John and Dean's problems, and that might be how they end up between cheap motel sheets and bottles of liquor in the dead of night.

tropes: angst, pre-series

warnings: n/a

summertime blues - edwardina

summary: prompt: John/Dean (15-17) established relationship: John has been away for a while on a hunt, when he gets back Dean is desperate to get fucked but is too obedient to ask for it himself. John takes Dean out to get some groceries or something but on the way he pulls over to the side of the road and has Dean ride his bare cock. He comes inside Dean and then feeds it to him afterwards as it drips out of Dean's ass.

tropes: car sex, pwp, pre-series

warnings: underage

as if we’d never met - thatotherperv

summary: AU.  Dean Winchester was kicked into the foster system when he was 4 years old…when he was 14, he kicked himself out of it.  Bottom line is, men enjoy fucking little boys all across this great nation.  Dean figures if he's gonna spend the rest of his life with sick fuckers staring at his mouth, he'd better be making some cash.

tropes: accidental incest, alternate universe, pre-series

warnings: underage, sex work, reference to child abuse

sugar - @ohzvae

summary: In the dark, Dean made his way back to bed with his hands out in front of him. Starched sheets crinkled under his knees as he climbed in. Dad caught him by the arm. A memory sparked, buried by time.

He’d been just tall enough to see the top of the kitchen counter. There was a song on the radio in the living room. His mom was baking cookies, her hair in a ponytail, his dad’s arm around her waist, the sound of her laugh. Dad trailed his knuckles along her neck and leaned in to kiss her.

tropes: pet names, pre-series

warnings: n/a

plus sam:

hit me like a heart attack - @amill22

summary: It’s not his fault that Deanna is – objectively – pretty hot and that his raging teenage hormones have some of his brain wires crossing. God knows, she also has Dad’s wires crossing every so often, even if they all like to pretend that Sam doesn’t know that.

tropes: smut with some teenaged angst, pre-series

warnings: femme!dean, voyeur!sam

what it is - @chinabluee

summary: Everything that has ever gone wrong for Sam and Dean starts and ends with John.

tropes: ANGST

warnings: grief, dysfunction, samdean

don’t say you need me when you leave and you leave again - @chinabluee

summary: Dean knows that he doesn’t need to understand it. You don’t need to understand why someone needs something when you love them as much as Dean loves his father.

tropes: ANGST, pre-series

warnings: dubious consent, referenced non-con, samjohn

full house of wincest: reunion - @zmediaoutlet

summary: John and Dean settle back together after some time apart.

tropes: pre-series, domestic

warnings: underage

full house of wincest: succor - @zmediaoutlet

summary: After a particularly hard hunt, John's wrecked; Dean helps.

tropes: pre-series, domestic

warnings: underage, dubious consent

splintered - phantisma

summary: Dean is always in the middle, struggling to hold his family together, to take care of his father and Sam...no matter what that means...no matter what that costs.   Dean is splintered and cracking and held together only by his need to make it okay, to help his father accept what has happened and make sure Sam is happy…but the pressure keeps multiplying and the fight may be more than any of them can stand.The harder they try, the deeper the pieces cut on the way down. Dean isn't okay. John isn't okay. Sam is so far beyond not okay. Dean's splintered pieces are shattered and scattered and he can't seem to hold it all together.

tropes: pre-series, angst, fuck or die

warnings: dubious consent, non-consent, underage, samdeanjohn

the kiss - lily rose

summary: Everything changes.

tropes: hurt/comfort, daddy kink, voyeurism, pre-series through canon

warnings: underage, drug use, sex work, child abuse, samdean

vin’s personal recs

i’m gonna be vain and share a few of my own fics i think are worth a read <3

what do we call what we have but love

summary: He loves John, as a son of course. But he also loves John as a partner in Sam’s care. Sam can’t see it because he’s young and he’s angry, but Dean needs to work with John to keep him safe. He can’t have John on the outs with him. Because what Sam misses in all his anger and frustration is that everything that John and Dean do is for Sam, together. Sam is all they have left after Mary. So while he resents the feminization of Sam calling him John’s wife, he guesses it’s not totally wrong. The overlap in roles between what Mary did then for John and what Dean does now is considerable, and he’s okay with that.

“We need more silver bullets,” he says quietly as he zips up the weapons bag. He looks back at John, who’s naked, preparing to shower. Dean can see his dick, half-hard, in the weak light of the nightstand lamp. Sam sleeps on, leaving Dean to witness his father like this alone. Tired and bruised, and like any other man after a hard day, just looking to relieve a little tension.

John pulls at himself lazily, he’s not paying attention to Dean, really. “I need to stop by Bobby’s anyway. He can set us up.” Then he walks into the bathroom.

tropes: angst, pre-series, bed sharing

warnings: dubious consent, light feminization

satin and lace

summary: Turning towards the mirror is thus a real feat. The sight that greets him has him shaken. Dean looks good. Sure, his pubic hair distorts the pattern of the lace, but otherwise Dean thinks the panties are perfect. The tight fit. The little black bows that sit right at his hip bones. The way, when he shifts, the pale globes of his ass are accented by the black of the material. The way the head of his cock peeks out the top, too erect to be tucked inside. God, Dean feels fucking sexy. 

tropes: pre-series, panty kink, breeding kink, daddy kink

warnings: feminization

flesh wound

summary: It’s the secret that’s killing John. It’s the secret that he shares with Dean but refuses to discuss that’s tearing him up, gutting Dean’s father from the inside out while Dean looks on and feels as if he himself were being skinned alive. Both of them are dying this way. John would deny it, but they certainly aren’t living. Dean watches John take swallow after swallow of alcohol until he passes out and thinks, I can’t stay here. He tries to throw his belongings into his bag silently, to tiptoe through the room in search of what he needs to make his escape, but he and John are tied in more ways than one, and as if on cue, John groans and wakes and immediately locks eyes with Dean.

He does not ask what Dean is doing, because he already knows what Dean is doing. “Please,” he murmurs. “Please.”

--

A selkie-inspired story.

tropes: selkies, angst, pre-series

warnings: dubious consent, wounds

[t4tstarvingdog]

As someone who’s read a lot of destiel fics over the years, which fics are so good they changed you in some (big/small) way?

ohhh this is a marvelous ask! so much to think about! that said, my memory is sucky at the best of times so this might be a short list.

1. twist and shout.

yeah yeah yeah, i know! thee classic destiel fic years ago… but the thing was, i read it at a time in my life when i was really struggling to see any redemption in being gay. i hadn’t even begun to question if *i* was queer yet, let alone my gender or anything past that. at that point in my life i was a cishet kid raised in an extremely homophobic environment, and here was a fic that showed these two people — these two men — so entirely human, so entirely in love. each chapter changed me individually, and even the ending hurt in an aching, caring way. yeah, i read it way before it was healthy for me to, and it was bad for me in a few ways for how young i was paired with how sheltered i had been, but it also touched a part of me that i didn’t even know existed at the time. saying that love existed, and that even when it hurts it can be beautiful. not trying to wax poetic, and i haven’t read it in a few years, but it did affect me pretty deeply and i’ll always think of it fondly. (also the one time i made my older sibling cry just by describing the story as a hetero romance)

2. the usual by thatoneguy35 on wattpad.

i don’t know if it ever got finished but it was so cute at the time and i still think about the kiss in the snow <3 the domesticity and simplicity… i can’t even describe it, or why it meant so much to me, but i do adore it. i might search it out again actually.

3. cheapest room in the house by biggaybenny (aka skepticalfrog)

another (more recent) absolute CLASSIC. deals with the depth and layers of dean without a lot of the gaudiness in his history some people include, if that makes sense. skrog’s characters are so human, in their joy and their pain and their lives. castiel is allowed anger and dean’s grief is so real, and on top of that it has one of the best depictions of jack and dean’s relationship in a way that honestly fucked me up in a good way. ALSO the way it acknowledges the complicated way you can love your father even when it’s fucked up… it’s written so lovingly and portrays queerness as something important, but also something that doesn’t need to be taken So Seriously that all humour is sucked out. also i am personally someone who enjoys eating mashed potatoes with my hands That Scene is delightful to me.

4. untitled fic by my irl friend

so at the time that i started reading more spn fic, i got one of my friends to actually watch the show. she ended up writing a super sweet fic in a scrappy notebook and had me read it and basically beta it. the fic itself didn’t impact me so much as the warm intimacy that came with her watching my face so intently as i read over the pages, the way i got to see the characters through her eyes, her fondness for the show. it was so much fun and had the most scrumptious twist when it started getting close to the end. she never finished it but it was so much fun to read through it with her :)

5. the bluebells blush when they sing by fleeceframe (aka tasteslikevelvet)

read this a week or so ago and it gave me the most glorious night of feeling something holy in being trans and queer. the way she handles gender and gender expression, the way she just. Understands cas and dean’s relationship… also such a genuine cas pov!!!!!!!! it switches between them in a seamless and marvelously done way, and it is just simply. one of the loveliest fics i’ve ever read.

6. oh my darling by @pinknatural

a HUGE reason i am currently working on my peach fic. the love and the subtle ways of showing it, the simple task of caring for other people… it makes me feel insane in the best of ways. i think about it whenever i eat an orange or a cutie and it makes me smile <3 also…… cas <3

there are so many more that i think about regularly, and that have impacted me deeply, but if i could remember and list them all then we’d be here for a very long time. here’s some of the ones off the top of my head though, and if you haven’t read them i hope you do!!!!

[stoneantler]

Cas studies fic recs!!

Most of these turned out to be Cas angst, which is a kind of Cas studies, right?

these are organized by length. the stars note which fics are my absolute favorites.

Under 10k

Stories Are Made of Mistakes by wildhoneypie ✨

thee human Cas fic, featuring Cas being weird and idiosyncratic and Dean being completely head over heels in love while having no idea they’re dating, 6k

Occursus by PallasPerilous

post-s15e20, set in heaven, featuring Cas and Dean having an insane little conversation about angel trueforms and the handprint, 4k

Gone through the glass again by communistmishacollins

the author calls this: “A three part love letter to Castiel Gayngel of the Lord.” featuring human Cas and his human friends, 4k

Get Out In Times of Declared Emergency by Jayne L

Cas deals with the aftermath of being possessed by Lucifer and the resulting depression, 6k

built to roam by sleepyvan

author’s summary: “Cas’ Farewell Tour.” pre-s15e28, in which Cas tries to take a little of what he wants most before the empty takes him

Between 10k and 50k

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits ✨

a fic about Dean needing Cas to stay and Cas needing Dean to tell him he’s wanted, my ultimate comfort fic, 10k

Scratchmarks by Bookkbaby

do you want some angst in your endverse threesome fic? do you want 2014!Dean with emotional intelligence and endverse!Cas hurting loudly? this fic is for you, 11k

The River by hal_incandenza

an incredibly good rewrite of s15e9 “The Trap,” dealing with Cas’s grief over losing Jack and Dean’s control issues with god, featuring bamf!Cas and hurt!Cas, 16k

Kingdom Come by ahurston ✨

author’s summary: “Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.” post-s15e18, Cas comes back from the empty and Dean comes to get him, 17k

He Can’t Sleep by 6or3dom ✨

ANGST angst angst, featuring human!Cas and Dean try to make their relationship work and it mostly goes poorly, they’re both astoundingly fucked up and for once it’s Cas struggling to talk about what’s wrong, 18k

The Tunnel of Love by xylodemon

a soft lovely get-together case fic, not strictly Cas studies but well worth a read, 21k

These Are Not Real Problems by Annie D

author’s summary: “Castiel used to be a god. Dean took that away from him, and now Castiel’s stuck in a hell of his own making. Future!fic, post-season 6.″ 30k

if it all fell to pieces tomrrow by spocklee

author’s summary: “After the Empty, Cas has to spend time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.” Cas struggles with being happy after coming back from the empty, 42k

To Be Restored by serenityfails

post-s15e18 fic where the empty sends Cas back in a different vessel, there’s a lot of Dean struggling with gender and sexuality, not strictly Cas studies but gives me a lot of trans!Cas feels, 47k

Superheroes verse: part 1 There’s A Limit, part 2 It’s The Fall That Kills You, part 3 Superheroes, part 4 Hole In Your Soul by strangenessandcharm (on dreamwidth) ✨

This series is from 2009 and it’s the first spn fic I remember reading. Lot’s of angst and whump. Cas becoming human in the worst way and Sam struggling with a magical sickness. It doesn’t have to be read in order and part 4 is my favorite.

Over 50k

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta ✨

post-s9e18 a case fic about Cas’s guilt for what the did to heaven and his run as god with a side of MoC!Dean, a bittersweet ending, 53k

Galveston by lunarriviera

Cas built a life away from Dean, then Dean walks back into it, also a love letter to Galveston, Texas, 56k

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara

thee gardener Cas fic, featuring slow burn and found family, not strictly Cas studies but well worth the read, 57k

A Winter’s Tale by NorthernSparrow ✨

author’s summary: “Cas is sick and Dean finds a journal that Cas kept about his time alone as human.” a season 9 au that tries to make Cas’s time as a human more realistic (an subsequently much more angsty), gen!fic with a focus on Dean and Cas, epistolary, 64k

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) by sobsicles

a fic that answers the question, “who are Cas and Dean without their memories? who are they to each other without all their baggage?” 66k

the cost of a thing by quiettewandering

a case fic where Dean and Cas have already fallen apart and they learn how to come back together, 74k

Human AUs

Honey-Baked by mishaminion69 and sydkn3e  ✨

a human!au where Cas and Dean are childhood friends and live in a cabin together and Cas is a stoner and Dean loves him dearly and they keep getting in their own way, a get-together fic, 89k

Love, Take Your Toll by aileenrose

a human!au where Cas is a lonely toll worker and Dean is his favorite motorist, 8k

BONUS

Down to Agincourt by speris ✨✨✨

A fic that’s about learning how to live with yourself after the world has already ended, Yes, it’s a million words and a WIP. Yes, it’s completely worth it.

[sodomitecastiel]

Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace

This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!

Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:

Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).

To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)

Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.

Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.

The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.

you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!

A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.

Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.

sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.

On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.

canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)