#they take bi/ace solidarity very seriously

[acearchivist359]

bi/ace solidarity but they’re in love with each other

ft. a bonus trans flag dean because i saw a bunch of people on twitter arguing about headcanoning dean as trans while i was working on these and the trans dean antis annoyed me so

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Highsidershipping let's gooooo-! (Seriously I thought I was the only one who shipped it so I'm glad to see you do too)

Personally i hc Yusei as ace and Primo as possibly aroace (i say this like i dont hit every character with the ace canon) so to me they have a qpr except neither realises it-

Anyway, how do you see this ship? And would it be in any form in the Pizzeria au

RISE UP MY 4 OTHER HIGHRISERSHIPPERS...absolute plight of a niche ygo spinoff ship, I shouldn't be baffled it's extremely difficult to find folks hyping yuseiprimo up and YET. NONETHELESS I STILL AM. it's sooo so underrated

For me I have like... honestly a little solar systems of different explorations and reads on them that I like thinking about and rotating around in my head. I loooove yugioh QPRs/platonic spins on ships/the ways in which a bond can be nonromantic and still tremendously deep (and I myself hc Yusei as aro bi (and probably some degree of ace too)!!!)( hitting characters left and right with the ace beam🤝 hitting characters left and right with the aro beam solidarity) so really all of the versions of this pair in my head are in some sort of nebulous nonromantic space. I think in canon as we have it I really just enjoy Primo having effectively a crush on Yusei and being so mad about it and not knowing what to do so he's just going to become psychosexually obsessed with him about it lmfao. Peak 19 Year Old Behaviors.

But I do very much think in another time, another place, where things didn't have to go the way they went, I think Yusei could've been able to show Primo a kindness and warmth he's never really had properly before (as I explored in my rare pair week comic), and that makes me SOOOO SOFT. GRAAUGH. The stone walls of someone stubbornly believing he has no one to love and is unloveable himself being broken down to smithereens by patient, quiet empathy makes me WILDDDD.

(i also really. really love this element of yuseiprimo echoing zoneporia in a way-- "is the attraction i feel for you of my own volition or is it the afterimage of the long dead man i was made from?" on primo's end is something i think endlessly about. ideas of being appreciated and loved for who you are. that's my SHIT!!!)

God though "qpr but they dont realize it," that's the kind of spin ive been cooking quietly in my. Increasingly Extensive Postcanon 5D's AU that's been taking up a lot of mental real estate as of late lol. i need to make art/talk more about it so bad. Anyway the sandbox of a postcanon living Primo realizing his vendetta against Yusei has no teeth anymore and is just pointless rage, and of a Yusei still quietly grieving Bruno and realizing he has more in common with his former obsessive android enemy than he realized...waaauughh i have MANY A THOUGHT ABOUT IT. THERE IS A BOND THERE AND I THINK IT COULD BE REAL. 🙏 ALSO THEY R BI4BI AUTISTIC4AUTISTIC. TO ME.

As for pizza AU, it doesn't really show up there! Only because ygo character kind of got inserted into the AU at different times and at comically different ages, and the maturity gap between Primo (19 year old line cook) and Yusei (~early-mid 30's year old with a house and several cars on blocks in his front yard) is just. Grand Canyon Wide behehehe. I think it'd be funny if Primo had a smoldering infuriating one-sided crush on Yusei though (since he does order pizzas from them and has a bit of a Thing with bruno~)

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural

[kaliido-s]

Op i wish I could hug you/gen

I love with Capital L your post, your take on the relationship Godzilla and Mothra have. Me neither ever shipped them and sometimes it made me feel outcasted in a way for a bit. Then i said damn it and started shipping w who I want.

But yeah more friendships with the same strenght and devotion of a love story. (Also I may be biased but for me their are wLw and mLm solidarity, but as I said it just me).

I was hoping you could tell more about Godzilla' relationship w other kaijus like dunno Rodan??

Aw, thank you for the kind words! I’m very happy that my Goji and Moth thoughts made you feel seen lol, I’m not malicious or anything to Mothzilla, but I feel like sometimes it is kind of discouraging when nobody else seems to share your opinion.

Now Rodan is kind of tricky to talk about, since most of the time I use their relationship for laughs and don’t really take it that seriously lol.

But anyways, I consider their relationship to go through a lot more growth than others. Pre-KOTM, Rodan was stuck hibernating in his volcano under the order of Godzilla and Mothra. Rodan was less than pleased about it, and considered both of them as old, stuck in their ways and overbearing. Neither had ever really interacted that much outside of orders being given. He wanted more freedom in his life, and to do what he wanted. He got a taste of that freedom in KOTM where he had a blast fucking around with Monarch. After Ghidorah forced him into submission, Rodan was more than happy to cause some chaos after being trapped for so long. He relished in what he was allowed to do, and because all Godzilla and Mothra ever did for him was keep him stuck in one place, he didn’t feel the slightest bit bad about attacking them. Getting to ragdoll Mothra for basically the entire fight did no favours for his growing self-confidence, until Mothra put him in his place and he screamed about it for probably 5 days. Afterwards, Godzilla was very, VERY displeased with what Rodan did to Mothra and that he helped Ghidorah, and there was a lot of tension between the two of them. It took a few years for either party to forgive each other, which, once Mothra came back, was probably helped by her, who was very forgiving towards Rodan since she understood his circumstances. Once the past was accepted as the past, then Rodan and Godzilla started to be friends. Not as close as Godzilla and Mothra, but they enjoyed their company, although it took some getting used to. Godzilla thinks of Rodan as young and in over his head, but recognizes his skill and more importantly, why Rodan did what he did, and he’s come to respect him. Rodan thinks Godzilla is old and egotistic and complains too much, but has come to respect and forgive him too. Rodan would never really fight Godzilla at this point now, since a. Godzilla would probably kick his ass, and b. Rodan’s come to realize what makes Godzilla a good king in the first place, although not without flaws that Rodan is quick to point out and make fun of. Most of their relationship is banter and smug quips and yelling. Godzilla isn’t as close with Rodan as he is with Mothra, and Rodan usually spends time hanging out with Barb. Bottom line, the both of them could spend all day complaining about the other, but do respect and like each other.

Also, if you wanna know, to me Godzilla is bi, Mothra is ace panromatic, and Rodan is gay and transmasc :)

[puyo-fever]

puyo character queer hcs! I explain some lengthily (mainly the aro hcs) so I’ll put it under a read more.

disclaimer that these are personal hcs for fun and you dont have to take any seriously at all!

ringo-aroflux bisexual

ringo is just kinda confused with her feelings in general but accepts that she’s somewhere on the aro spectrum. well, she knows she probably doesnt like people romantically, but sometimes she just feels things(tm) ya know. she’s been qpps with maguro for a while and sometimes she just has moments where she’s like “do I like him romantically?” but after a few hours or smth it’s back to “yeah he’s my best friend!” and it just. happens sometimes out of the blue and she’s just like okay brain thanks.

in general, she and maguro are pretty affectionate. definitely lots of hand holding, kisses on the cheek etc. but they probably just do it when they’re not around their friends n family bc everyone just ASSUMES stuff and risukuma is the only one who KNOWS knows that they’re qpps and wont make ringo uncomfy by asking if they’re dating.

amitie-genderqueer/trans lesbian

I think trans amitie is a very pog headcanon, but I think genderqueer also fits her very well! she doesn’t wanna be binded to any sort of binary, she just wants to be gender. and the lesbian one is mostly derived from the fact all the characters I ship her with are either girls or charas I hc to be nonbinary, though it’s not a hc I think abt a lot admittedly.

arle-aromantic

Listen it’s just really funny for satan to simp after her when she’s just not interested in anyone in general.

She feels sexual attraction, but is still unsure of where it’s directed towards, as she hasnt had a chance to explore it. so for now she’s fine with not id-ing it.

carbuncle-carbuncle

carbuncle

schezo-aromantic bisexual

-I don’t think he’s into romance. could be qpps with arle? idk, but he and rulue and friends with benefits, it’s just casual though

rulue-trans het

we all know rulue likes satan men but I think she’s also transfem.

draco-lesbian

she and lidelle are girl liker sibling solidarity. like, cmon, she seeks out cute girls to compete with them?? and keeps calling them pretty so

witch-bisexual

I’m not too sure how canon those old games are with her lore but I do like that tidbit abt her having a crush on either arle or schezo at some point.

maguro-nonbinary bisexual

Nonbinary (afab) is because of kin reasons. He’s masc leaning but is fine with some feminine terms (uses he/she/they pronouns). Bi is bc he just gives off the vibes.

risukuma-ace

Not much to say here. He’s not sure about how he handles romantic feelings himself so he doesnt label it, and he simply doesn’t feel sexual attraction.

feli-genderqueer demi

(Would like to make clear by demi I mean both demiromantic and demisexual)

Demi is because. Well, minus the whole lemres thing she takes a while to be trusting of others in general. Really doesn’t start to feel things until well into a friendship/relationship.

klug-nonbinary bisexual

Have you seen ppt2 and the 20th anni cutscenes. Peak Bisexual disaster.

Anyways he/him nonbinary just feels right for klug.

sig-nebularomantic greysexual

(quick explanation for those unfamiliar with the term: identity under the aromantic spectrum that’s defined as mixing up/not being able to separate romantic and platonic feelings due to being autistic)

This is one of those “oh that seems kinda obvious” hcs that I’m attached to anyways. I’ve always seen sig as autistic and in general uninterested in romance, though he is in a romantic relationship. I personally think he DOES sometimes get those feelings he simply doesnt act on them unless he knows his partner wants him to.

Also a personal headcanon is that lemres helped sig out in figuring out a label for him, as they talk about aromanticness a lot.

raffina-pan

I just think that pansexual makes sense for raffina? not much to say here.

lidelle-lesbian

again, not much to say here. lidelle girl kisser, I can’t see her with boys at all.

lemres-non binary aroace

nonbinary is bc of kinnie reasons again so lets skip over that.

for lemres. he’s like, repulsed at the thought of being in a romantic relationship in general! whenever his parents would bring up the idea of a suitor he’d be pretty uncomfy. he was never interested in it, probably tried it once when he was asked out by someone after he ran away and went “nah”. while he’s fine with compliments sent his way in a fun matter (like being called a wife) he’s pretty offput by people who try to pursue a relationship with him. he’s really patient with feli bc she’s young and he doesnt wanna be rude by saying her fortune telling skills are wrong but man can she not take a hint.

As for sexual attraction, while he doesn’t feel it, he isnt repulsed by it like he is with romantic relationships.

tee-trans asexual

transmasc tee just..makes sense to me? I cant really explain why but he 100% wears a binder.

Tee is sex repulsed. not much to say. Hasn’t figured out his romantic orientation.

ess-trans bi

as with tee, trans ess just makes sense. transmasc and transfem solidarity.

bi isnt for any particular reason, she just feels like she’d be bi ya know.

jay and elle-demigender

they both aren’t very attached to the concept of gender. but also they are. yes. no. it’s complicated.

ai-gay

he’s the token cis of the tetra crew but also the token mlm nerd.

ecolo-agender aromantic

oh ecolo. funky blob guy. they’re 100% not giving a shit about gender and all those concepts, ecolo is just ecolo.

ecolo isn’t really romance repulsed per se, but they prefer friendships over romantic relationships, and cant see themselves in a relationship. wants to be qpps with ringo but she’s not that certain about the idea. doesn’t know what sex is.

squares-gay

*points* guy kisser.

marle-lesbian

*points* girl kisser.

[fandom-sheep]

MCC 18 SEP 21

Yellow Yacks and Cyan Coyotes with a little Aqua Axolotls. Part 1/1

The only reason I didn’t forget MCC was because I got the notification for Eret.

I have Wilbur on my TV. I’m going to watch Eret on my phone. And I’ll have Tommy on my iPad probably.

Wilbur throwing a tantrum and saying he won’t play.

I feel like a true Gen Z member with my multiple screens of minecraft.

I’m only just getting the Wilbur notification.

I love watching everyone run around before MCC and scale things.

Griefing the thumbnail. 😂

Wilbur just causes problems on purpose when it comes to group photos doesn’t he.

He just loves finding ways to cause problems.

Wilbur got a coconut!?!

I didn’t mean to type the question mark originally. But I am a bit confused.

Wilbur just stocking up on coconuts

True friendship is a quote book. I have several.

Baby banana boo.

Wait. I heard the word tumblr

Scott what did you do with tumblr?

I’m scared. Only Eret permitted on tumblr.

I remember watching hole in the wall as a tv show as a kid.

Wilbur’s glasses that don’t do anything.

There are September discounts for subbing?

Neato.

The conversations in my work discord are something else.

Not surprised that Wilbur is going for top swearer of MCC

But my residents are going to walk by my door and judge me.

Alright I apparently wasn’t signed in to twitch on my iPad and it took me entirely too long to learn to remember it.

Tommy looks like he’s really concentrating. Oh wait never mind.

Wow the yaks are in first currently. I might be cheering for a winning team for once.

Alright I have my iPad split screen between Tommy and the MCC website.

Everyone break the elevator!

In the game, not in the building I work. I don’t want that paperwork.

Stick together and place many block.

I’ve been in Wilburs position. “I’ll be captain” “yeah let’s let Wilbur be captain”

Not a single POV I have up is synced. But that’s life.

Oh not starting out strong.

Just keep going. Ignore the falling people just like ranboo last time.

We are at the absolute bottom for this game.

Where’s a bag of popcorn or something?

“Stay down there. That’s how I won that one time” -Ranboo

Down they go.

They didn’t have anywhere to run.

Second round!

Oh that wasn’t their best idea. It was fun seeing Erets POV of that.

Go Teams.

Turning down the volume on yellow yacks to listen to aqua axolotls.

Aqua please. You have so much potential.

Nope.

Switching audio again.

Yellow back at the bottom.

Ranboo ranboo ranboo ranboo

Down he goes. 😂 the timing of that was funny.

Please. Don’t die

Wilbur. Scott. Please.

Scott uncovering the creeper.

Their plan is literally just sit and be.

To be fair that’s my plan for everything I do.

Oh cobwebs are smart.

I’m eating very salty Chick-fil-A chips and need water.

We are still doing ok. Wow.

Cobwebs man. The real MVP.

They are still in 10th

COBWEBS!!! And Wilbur standing on the edge of a block.

THEY WON THAT?!?!!!!

It moved them from last to eight. But still. Wow.

Holy cow. How did that happen.

I always forget what the acronym game is.

Oh yeah. Wilbur snuck and found this. I remember.

Go team!

Oh the website updates faster than the game. But we’re starting off decent.

I’m going to have to take back that statement aren’t I?

Go go go go

Fly fly fly fly

Build build build build

Go Wilbur!

Rafter strat.

Wilbur found the rafters and everyone else loved it.

Blocking his own jump. 😂

I really should do the inside joke chair emoji thing for laughing. But I don’t care.

Tiktok is nice. Depends on the side you are on, but it’s nice.

We are doing halfway decent. I’m proud of us.

Wilbur is struggling and I think he might cry.

Not bad. I don’t think.

Power sweater.

This game in MCC has rainbow road vibes

I’ll have to make that it’s own post since I feel that’ll be popular ish.

Holy cow we hit first on the website!! How?

Ranboo sweet one.

They said no peaking to Wilbur.

Wilbur making them block stuff off and the like is so funny.

Run yaks run!

I missed the moment Wilbur just mentioned. Oh well I’m sure I’ll see the clip.

First last first.

Hey 4th overall. Look at em.

Wilbur switching to full screen to show us his M&Ms.

Let me balance my water bottle on the bedpost above my head. No way this could possibly go wrong in multiple ways.

Double coins. Gorgeous.

Chickens are being sniped.

What’s going to work? TEAM WORK!

I don’t think I have ever watched a game of grid runners in my life?

Alright game should start any second because it started on the website.

Alright stream is delayed about 13 seconds.

Go teams go!

Wilbur just sniping targets.

We’re doing ok.

All this dirt.

Go go go

We’re completing things first.

Cake!

Wilbur got in!

Now they eat

Oh but they are falling.

Oh wow the painting is complicated. My friends and I would fail to communicate so fast.

Is this lever thing just find the button but complicated?

Go you got the levers!

Items grab!

My friends and I would seriously struggle unless I was allowed the lead. But I would lead us off a cliff.

Everyone get ready to go in as soon as the cake is done.

Exit! You guys are so close! Please!

Woohoo!

Go Ranboo! Go Scott!

Come on guys. Come on. Good communication.

I think I like watching Wilbur with MCC because he had a similar strategy to what I would do.

Wilbur why did you try to act cool!!!

They keep saying they are miles ahead but not according to that scoreboard.

You placed 3rd. Good job y’all.

I’m excited for bonuses.

They have another minute until the others run out of time.

Good soup.

Oh wow. Ranboo and Wilbur really are always totgehe.

We are doing well. I see the board changing on the website so much.

Where will they land.

Looks like 2nd or 3rd

Fourth overall. Not bad.

Lap time is logical.

Audience vote?

Look at me redownloading twitter.

Can you not see how others have voted on twitter?

Oh there it is. It only showed mine for a sec there.

Battle box looks close. I voted ace race.

Oh it all looks close right now.

Long break my beloved.

I don’t have time to start my laundry but still. My beloved.

Game 5/8 so MCC won’t be too much longer.

I look up and Wilbur is shaking his ass at George. I’m not surprised.

Phil and Sneeg judging Wilbur.

Wilbur twerking on Phil and Sneeg joining.

Poor Phil.

Wilbur just having visited so many random places with so many random words just gathered.

Oh wow parkour tag is low. But so is sands.

Oh wow it was a tie. Between Sands and Parkour

“Wilbur is Sand Daddy” -Scott and then all the agreement noises.

Sands of Time is my favorite practical game

Maybe because Wilbur is really good at it. And Ranboo had been trained by him.

This is just good.

I swear Sand daddy is going to kill me during this.

I am just going to pass away.

My stream delay though.

Wilbur who says he stays very quiet as he makes circus music noises.

Minecraft Rhinos. Because I can’t spell their real name.

I don’t quite understand sand of time. But I like watching. It’s like college football.

I am missing the only college football game I care about for MCC.

Go Team.

No blue yet.

All the mobs.

“You better not die” sung to the tune of Santa clause is coming yo town. -Wilbur

Keep it up guys.

Oh no. They lost the key.

Oh good they found the key.

You can tell Wilbur had a musicians brain. He just hears something vaguely lyrical and starts singing a song.

Gotta promote your band whenever you can I guess.

I listened to the last Ep for like an hour and a half yesterday while I went about my day.

I wonder how we’re doing?

Only a few seconds.

I could warm a heating pad in the amount fo time they have left.

Ranboo doing these puzzles so amazingly.

Quit caring about what others think. Just do your thing.

I swear the sand daddy thing.

I love the cage of shame for not tracking your sand.

I zoned out. Red cyan orange?

We’re almost 15 minutes into sands.

I want to play Minecraft on my iPad right now.

Wait the website updated. We were 6th?

Yikes. I thought they did better.

3rd overall though!

Wait what was that about most influential improv thingy? Good for them.

Build mart!

Oh Ace Race. Wilbur calling Ace Race his girlfriend now.

I want to see the enemies to lovers fan fictions of Ace race and Wilbur.

Oh wait I can do that. I can verbally tell one like I have others in the past.

I’m excited to watch this.

Wilbur flirt with the race.

I’m not mentally prepared for this.

Everyone just joined because they don’t want to miss Wilbur x Ace Race.

Oh no. He’s not doing so well.

Oh Wilbur is giving us more.

Complicated history…

Whispering to Ace Race and Solidarity.

You’ve got it Wilbur.

Keep on talking. Keep your brain busy while you play.

Mommmm Wilbur is flirting with Ace Race again!

He’s whispering though so I can’t quite hear it and will have to find a clip channel that added subtitles.

Oh teams are changing on the website.

“What are you doing in my women Philza?” -Wilbur

“I will end your bloodline which is canonically also me.” -Wilbur

I can not track all the quotes from this. That’s beyond my abilities.

Wilbur did halfway decent, but it still uncomfortable.

Ace Race is a person now. Also the fact that Wilbur compliments Ace Race so much.

Sally v. Ace Race.

I want to find that fanart now.

Scott honey. Confirmed cannon is everyone fancies the fish.

4th. Not bad.

We’re still talking Ace Race x Wilbur

Build mart! My dearest buildmart!

I miss them sliding around in the sleds.

Grab da flowers!

We’re in 1st at the minute.

Come on yaks!

No coyotes!

Hurry hurry hurry.

Work discord going it’s thing again.

Oh we’re dropping fast.

Move the redstone! Thank you

Alright back on top. Keep it up.

Nevermind.

I love the way the build spaces for the different teams work.

Who is the person on the build?

Oh first again? Nevermind.

Oh we popped up to second. We’re so behind. Come on.

Duck!

Good soup energy. Now all I can think is the bi wide energy song.

Time is running out.

Yeah we aren’t catching up to first. Just hold second.

Where is granite?

Game over.

Third overall now. Not bad. Last game time they can possibly pull it into dodge bolt.

I need to go get a picture with the President of the university for a game with my work.

Good Soup.

I’m sitting here making popcat noises while waiting.

Game time! Go team! Survive!

Wait where did the steamer go? I wasn’t paying attention.

He’s back.

He’s swearing for his points on the swearing list.

Is pee a soup? No. I don’t think it’s think enough under normal circumstances.

Karl is apparently swearing according to Twitter. Good for him. He deserves to swear some as a treat.

Everyone running and leaving shubble.

Oh good they are all together.

Just keep running.

4th so far.

Cars. Beep beep.

Ranboo breath child.

Calling Wilbur like some kind of golden retriever.

Bow boy

Scott is leader now. Because otherwise they are arguing.

We are playing the don’t die strategy.

Come on team.

Did I put my cut in this post? I did.

Ranboo having stolen the airdrop. And he has a thing!

Oh the boarder is right behind them.

They are fighting Dream?

Nice Will.

We’re in fourth.

Boarder is right there.

Sapnap? Nope.

Pink attack and they book it.

Oh no. There goes Wilbur.

Is it just Scott?

Scott vs the world.

Just Organe and pink. They came third.

GO ORANGE!

Please. Please let us do it.

Overall third. Pink overtook yellow.

Sadness.

Ranboo has achieved: Found Hated Game

Ranboo has been hit by Survival games so many times now.

If they had just lasted a tiny bit longer they would have come second.

Cheering Orange I suppose.

I have no skill at picking winner POVs.

I have 3 teams I was at least kinda watching. And none of them are in dodgebolt.

Gosh can hear Ranboo tweaking.

Wow. Yellow yaks just as a team twerking.

What is Wilbur chewing on? Wilbur don’t chew on things that probably aren’t meant to be chewed on.

I can hear the band outside of my window. I think my campuses football game is starting.

The drum line practiced outside my window all the beginning of the semester so it’s fun seeing them march to the stadium.

Oh and there are the cheerleaders.

Oh right I was watching MCC! Who’s winning?

Come on Orange. So close.

Wait I looked out my window. Why is the band walking back to where they were?

Along the sidewalk?

I thought it was game time for a minute.

Oh dodgebolt could go either way.

Distracted by Jesus.

Grian! You got this!

Nice Grian.

Oh Grian has a chance!

Oh!

Oh!

It’s so close!

Ooo ooo!

I’m so invested.

I SEE THE CONFETTI IN THE SITE! But I don’t want to miss the shot.

Come on Grian.

I know you do it. But you’ve got this

YESSSSS

Woo hoo!!

That was a good MCC. Now to do the chores and homework I originally planned to do today.

That was a nice stream.

Scott is separating Ranboo and Wilbur?

Please. Scott.

Don’t separate the beings.

You know. Twitter needs to politely bully Scott into keeping Ranboo and Will together.

Oop and that’s Wilbur done. That was fun.

See y’all next time!

[vaspider]

I'm nervous. With the dangerous abuses of civil rights by the Trmp administration going on, I am seeing another upswing in misdirected hate at aces and aros. At a time when we need unity and solidarity the most, to make the biggest impact, I'm seeing divisiveness for very little short-term gain.

That is, unfortunately, how it’s always going to be. Infighting increases in times like this. Pushing back against it is the constant struggle of being in this community. Every bit of pushback we’ve had has caused people to turn on trans people, on bi people, on... if you don’t fit whoever’s current narrow definition of what the ‘right’ thing is, then you’re fucked. And the thing is, the problem is not ace people, aro people, bi people, non-binary people... it’s homophobes, biphobes, acephobes, queerphobes, transphobes. But people’s first instinct is to say things like ‘you’re why the Straights don’t take us seriously’ or ‘you’re why the cis don’t take us seriously,’ and that’s ... ridiculous. Queerphobes and transphobes and all other sorts of bigots do not care about the subdivisions of our community. They just fucking hate us.

Respectability politics is pretty much the worst, honestly, and we have to keep pushing back on it, always. Like, nope, sorry, it’s not the fault of ace folx or bi folx or trans folx that capital-s Straight people are the Fucking Worst. 

I wish I could be more reassuring, but I think to me it’s just as reassuring that these cycles come, and also go.

This too shall pass. 

[gotinterest]

The biggest issue with the inclusion/exclusion discourse from the exclusion side is the tendency to compare it to other movements of exclusion instead of facing it as the unique situation it is.

To preface, I do believe that ace people are a part of the lgbt community. I say are and not should be because... well... lets be honest. Ace people are present in pride activities and LGBT communities around the world. Regardless of if people like it or not, ace people are active members of the LGBT community. We have evidence of asexuality being actively discussed as sexuality going back decades. They are already there. The case for exclusion is one of kicking them out, not preventing them from entering.

The problem with the way we discuss ace exclusionism is that it is currently painted with the exact same brush as other exclusionary movements such as TERFS and truscum... when a large portion of exclusionists have almost nothing in common with either of those groups. Yes, there are exclusionists who harass people, who say that asexuality doesn’t exist, who discount the experience of ace rape victims, who are terrible people. 

But unlike TERFS or truscum, there isn’t a component of systemic danger from the activities of most ace exclusionists. The worst the vast majority of ace exclusionists do is make ace people feel unwelcomed in the community. Which is bad, but it isn’t blocking access to healthcare, making the very act of going to the bathroom anxious and political, funding alt-right groups, organizing mass harassment campaigns, increased policing, committing hate crimes, etc. So painting ace exclusionist in general as the same kind of threat as TERFS or truscum grossly misrepresents the kind of people most of them are and the sort of threat they pose. As a result it is hard for many people (so many of whom are on the fence on the issue of inclus v exclus) to take exclusionism seriously as an issue when it appears as though the people who are discussing it have no sense of scale when it comes to the kind of threat it is to people’s material safety.

We cannot actually DEAL with exclusionism until it is openly acknowledged that a lot of people are exclusionists or lean towards exclusionism both because of the aforementioned misrepresentation and because the ace community has an issue with self moderation. 

Many of the exclusionists I have gotten a chance to talk to about their views have told me that the majority of ace people they have come across have been wildly homophobic. Now, just because that is their perception, doesn’t mean it’s reality (furthermore the homophobia of individuals should not be used to discount everyone who shares their sexuality). But it is worth looking into why this perception even exists.

The ace community is not anymore homophobic than any other community, but a growing problem with the ace community- particularly the online ace community- is how defensive it is of itself. 

Every time a post comes across my dash that calls out a loudly inclusionist ace person for homophobia or some other kind of bigotry, it is a) originally from an exclusionist and many times b) has comments added onto it which contain some kind of defense of the ace community by ace inclusionists.

Those defenses can be anything from “This isn’t actually homophobic” to “Not all ace people are homophobic” to “Well what about the stuff that [insert terrible exclusionist here] did?” 

The fact is, however, that just as the ace community is not any more inclined to homophobia than any other group, it is also not any more immune to homophobia than any other group. 

It is not appropriate to respond to specific accusations of homophobic behavior by individuals in a community by saying “well homophobia isn’t actually a problem in this community.” or “Well what about the behavior of these other people?” It is homophobic to immediately jump to defending the ace community, rather than acknowledging that- just as with every other community- homophobia is a problem in the ace community.

Furthermore, I have seen a growing number of posts that seek to distance the ace community from many accusations of problematic behavior by blaming trolls, old posts, or by downplaying the amount of ace people actively engaged in that behavior. While yes, there are trolls, old posts, and a few vocal individuals, many of these posts that I’ve seen lately (including a specific popular one that I’ve seen multiple times) attribute almost ALL problematic behavior to those three things. 

An example of a very popular problematic behavior to do this with is “ace people asking gay people to refrain from discussions of sex or public displays of affection”. I have heard many stories from several people I know IRL (who are even inclusionists!) of this EXACT thing happening in their GSA or college LGBT group. This isn’t just a case of loud random assholes on the internet, it’s a widespread enough IRL issue that it should be dealt with maturely rather than just being brushed off to the side.

Then, of course, there is the issue of ace inclusionists preemptively attacking people for “exclusionism” when they aren’t even exclusionists. For example, recently a post went around about (I believe) a bunch of LGBT+ flags being added to a list of emojis. In the list of added emojis, there were about 6 or so flags being added, but somehow neither the trans, bi, nor a single lesbian flag were included in the new list of flags. The OP made some sort of comment about “how do you forget the LG and T of LGBT?” The notes of the post were FILLED with people accusing the OP of being an exclusionist and using this to attack ace people. In reality? The OP wasn’t an exclusionist. They weren’t degrading the inclusion of the other flags at all, merely expressing outrage that three of the MAIN LGBT identities were left out for seemingly no reason. This sort of jumping to conclusions is not as common an issue, but it is one that I have increasingly seen.

What I have not seen, however, is a clear movement of ace inclusionists who look to address the kind of homophobia that is specifically within the ace community. I see, for example, plenty of posts from trans men decrying the sexism, nbphobia, and transmisogyny specific to the trans male community. I see plenty of posts from lesbians and bi women decrying the transphobia and, specifically, transmisogyny that develops in their communities. I’ve seen posts by lesbians addressing the biphobia in their community. So on and so forth.

I do not see a similar movement of self moderation from asexual inclusionists. I have seen plenty of asexual ace exclusionists decry the homophobia within the ace community, but not asexual ace inclusionists. As I’ve said, the ace community is not more homophobic than any other sexuality, but the way that homophobia manifests in the community can be specific TO the community (just as there are specific forms of transmisogyny in afab trans masc and nb communities, or specific forms of biphobia in the gay and lesbian communities, etc) and yes, that’s even after taking into account that there are many gay/bi ace people (because internalized homophobia can be uniquely influenced by the other identities held by an individual).

I don’t see inclusionist ace people discussing “how do we craft spaces that are safe both for sex repulsed ace people, AND gay/bi people who wish to discuss sex? At what point does one’s discomfort with discussions of sex in certain spaces go from being valid to being homophobic?” 

I don’t see the discussions of the latest big elephant in the room: “Why is there a repeated problem of the ace and sometimes even aro flags being newly included in things while stuff like the lesbian flag is still being left out? How can we best stand in solidarity with the lesbian part of the community on this issue?” 

I’ve not seen a single post by an asexual inclusionist going “Hey can we stop co-opting the struggle of trans women by making post after post after post that makes it seem like TERFS are one of the primary sources of ace exclusionism and that we are one of their main targets even though the vast majority of TERFS are neither in the LGBT community nor really think about ace people one way or another?”

These are all specific manifestations of bigotry in the ace community. So they should be dealt with! But currently even calling one of these things out as issues can get you labelled as an exclusionist and aphobic even if you are an inclusionist and/or ace. We will not be able to change the narrative of the inclusionist ace community as having an issue with bigotry, and specifically homophobia, if we do not actually address that bigotry. Ace people are a part of the LGBT community, so we ought to stand in solidarity with the rest of the community by working out these issues.

[maiaphaelsource]

I was the anon who sent you the trans Raphael headcanons ask on your other blog, do you have any more? With some trans Maia thrown in too🥺 like Magnus being the best trans dad to his son and the love of his sons life and being supportive and loving. Raphael kissing Maia on the forehead and telling her how beautiful she is, you know? Cute shit like that

yes!!! hello!!! i hope you know i love you and you're my favorite person in the world!! thank you so much for this ask!

okay so i’ll begin with the specifics... magnus is absolutely THE trans dad to both of them. not only with practical stuff like offering to help them with glamours, magical transitioning, stuff like that, but just... being so supportive and understanding. he’s always there, and he has so many stories to share, so many people he’s met who had happy lives. he was there for stonewall, he’s met Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, and it’s just so heartwarming for the both of them to talk to him about that, you know? that feeling of not being alone in history, of knowing that there are and were other people like you, that you’ve always existed.... it’s just great

also in maia’s case since she also lives a partially mundane life he just solves all her documentation problems like deadname? gone forever. no registers. you’re welcome. the first time maia sees her document with her name she almost cries and she throws herself in magnus’ arms and magnus is so touched and moved and shocked you know? like the gratitude and the affection and she’s just thanking him and he’s so moved and raphael just watches with a little smile in his face because he knows that magnus is moved by the display, even if he won’t say it. and maybe he tells magnus that later? like, “your kindness means more to others than you imagine,” and of course magnus isn’t important just because he’s kind but he’s used to not being recognized for his services (ahem especially by CERTAIN people) and it’s nice to see that being appreciated, you know?

plus, maia makes it a point to pay him and magnus is all like “i couldn’t possibly take payment for something like that. it’s the least you deserve” so instead maia teaches him her secret sangria recipe. magnus is super pleased but he also jokes that now he has one less excuse for inviting them over. and raphael goes, super seriously, “you never need an excuse” and magnus just melts 

raphael kissing her forehead! yes! tbh i think they both love forehead kisses (as well as hand kisses and shoulder kisses) and sometimes when she’s feeling dysphoric or upset for any reason she likes just... lying down on raphael’s chest and letting him pet her hair and kiss her forehead and tell her that it’s alright, bella, te quiero

and YES he just makes it a point to talk about how beautiful she is constantly and kiss down her whole body (not sexually of course, just sweetly?) and she giggles and it’s fun :’) sometimes things get to her, especially after jordan’s constant transphobic/racist rethoric, and it’s nice that raphael always makes it a point to tell her she’s beautiful and amazing and he loves her. and he always does it in such a matter of fact way, but also intense, you know? he has her close and he says shit like “you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever met” and she melts

as for general headcanons!

maia figured out she was trans relatively early in life, and it’s the reason she always knew she’d have to run away from her parents’ house. she was basically only planning until she had enough to be able to survive without them. but also, jordan and wanting to be able to “be with her already” rushed her out of home when she was finishing high school 

raphael and maia are absolutely willing to throw down for each other if someone’s transphobic and that’s that on that. someone being transphobic to raphael? fine, he can handle his own, he’ll end them with his words and do it with a pleasant smile. someone being transphobic to maia? they’ll be met with the usual cutting sarcasm until they back down. but if the other catches you doing that? you’ll be thrown against the wall and threatened/punched in the face so fast you won’t even know what the fuck happened 

a lot of baby trans downworlders start coming to them! they’re already an iconic couple for many reasons, what with being a werewolf/vampire couple, a black/latino couple (we need more black/latino couples okay! desperately! and black/native and native/latino too! i want more poc solidarity and romance!), and an iconique trans couple. people just feel comfortable going to them because they’ve brought so much change and are so accepting you know? 

it still surprises raphael, even after years on end, that so many people come to him for help with that. he never thought that he would be seen as the kind of person people can go to, and yet here he is. after being told for most of his life that he was cold/unfeeling/threatening/weird... it’s nice to be valued like that, to be seen as someone who can be soft and provide comfort and love, too

same goes for maia, who’s also used to be seen as agressive/violent for just defending herself and her people, and just generally reduced to being a “threat”. it’s nice to know that many, many people see her as someone they can look up to, and who they feel safe it

that is not to say obviously that they just love doing emotional labor for other people but like... having other trans downworlders, especially trans downworlders of color, come to them, feels nice. especially people who are trying to figure themselves out and approach them with so much hope and admiration in their eyes you know? the way they always come with a “sorry to bother, but..” ready in their lips and look at them like they are heroes... it’s really something

taki’s slowly becomes a place for trans downworlders to hang out, especially those who don’t enjoy clubs and stuff like pandemonium (which is totally a queer club as well bite me. including for mundanes. with taki’s that’s trickier of course since they have like, blood on their menu lmao but a few trans minors have hung out there and it was cool) for whatever reason. it’s just a cool queer-inclusive space for people who want to hang out, you know? and they love that

the first time maia saw raphael lose his cool was when a shadowhunter made a gross comment about how it’s lucky he didn’t want sex, so she wouldn’t have to deal with that. he almost tore their throat off

raphael just.... loves maia’s shoulders. she was a little self conscious of them, she always made a point to have them covered, but raphael just loves peppering kisses on her shoulders and making her chuckle 

magnus gives maia a bunch of fashion tips similar to the ones he gave raphael, just how to better protect herself and figure out how people are reading her gender and stuff like that, you know?

they do the thing where they show each other pre-transition pics (once they’re comfortable with that of course) just to hear each other be like “*outraged gasp* i don’t recognize you at all” and “oh, look how much happier you are now”, and my personal favorite, “i can’t see a boy/girl in there, i just can’t” (like personally whenever i see pictures of my partners/friends pre-transition i’m just like... i realize this is pre-transition and that you’ve changed a lot but also i’m unable to see an [assigned gender] in this photo). it’s all like “how did people not notice you were a girl? unbelievable” you know. just that sweet sweet trans couple validation ritual

together they have like. all the insufferable pun-happy sexualities (bi[romantic], pan, ace, trans) and you will be hit with those constantly in conversation if you’re a friend of them. raphael in particular greatly enjoys making those puns with the most blase, straight face as he looks straight into your eyes and watches as your soul slowly leaves your body. magnus is so proud and also afraid he created a monster

raphael is that bitch who’s like. “i heard that broccoli has a substance that’s similar to testosterone so i’m now eating 5 bowls of it” and maia wants to tear her hair out because it doesn’t work like that and he’s like “can’t hurt to try. also i’m finally able to eat let me have this” 

maia never got to like... celebrate those small transition moments because she was all alone and felt like she was transitioning in such a rush, you know? and raphael makes it a point to point out the small changes that are still going on with her body, to take her shopping and encourage her to be as giddy about it as she wants to, you know? and it’s nice and fun and he also gets to relive those small gender reaffirming moments and it’s really nice

maia is a huge against me fan!!! like not to project but it’s just... their songs are so great and relatable even when they’re not about being trans at all and laura jane grace’s voice is so beautiful and maia for sure absolutely loves punk, so like. it’s one of her fave bands for sure

she liked them since before laura came out and when she did it was like. oh. oh. so that’s why i always related so hard to her songs. it just... makes sense

while punk is not as much raphael’s style he likes true trans rebel, especially the acoustic version, where her voice just sounds mwaaahhh imo and he can listen to the recording for hours because her voice in there is just... sensorial heaven and maia feels all giddy that raphael genuinely loves a trans woman’s voice so much 

raphael always makes a point to say that he loves her voice just as much, too :)

they are just very trans and really love each other the end

[ober-affen-geil]

Gather 'round kids, it's personal sharing time.

Asexual Awareness Week is winding down and I've low key been struggling with what to post about since Monday. I still haven't really come up with anything but I saw a post that struck an unexpected chord with me and I was inspired to riff, so this will probably ramble. Bear with me.

This may be a widespread experience within the community or it may not, I can't speak universally, but I don't...know how to be ace. I know how to be myself and I know that I am (aro)ace so in that sense I do but...I don't know how to be Ace.

I don't know how to act in a way that makes it clear to people that I am asexual. And I want to. I know I act and dress and speak in a way that most people are not surprised when I tell them I'm queer, but I am so sick and tired of having to explain myself every. single. time. Because I don't know how to be openly ace without talking about it all the time, and I don't know how to talk about it all the time without being really fucking annoying. To everyone including myself.

Because I shouldn't have to. Allo people don't discuss their sexuality all the time, why would I. That's weird. And as I said, really fucking annoying. And having to give a goddamn 15 minute PowerPoint presentation every time I come out to a new person is exhausting, and frankly leaves me with a very high chance of alienating the person I was talking to. Which is why I often just leave it at "queer".

Please don't get me wrong, I love talking about sexuality. All of it, but asexuality in particular. Because it's me! It's mine, it's my box, and I Iove to sit in it and invite others to play. If you ever want to chat about it, hit me up. Seriously.

But the inescapable fact that the best I can do right now with simple presentation is "Big Queer Energy" makes me so tangled up inside that sometimes I just want to collapse into a sobbing heap on the floor.

Because that's not me. I'm Ace goddammit, not queer. Queer is an umbrella term and I'm thankful for it and I use it happily, but it's not me. I don't need an umbrella term, I have a word that fits. It's asexual. (And aromantic and probably agender, jury is still filing back in on that one.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that's why this week is so important. Asexual Awareness Week is designed to raise awareness. To some extent, it's to help people find the community and that's wonderful. If this week can make someone feel less lonely, less broken, or even just pull at something internally that they hadn't ever paid attention to before, great. Amazing, congratulations, and welcome. We have cake.

But on a larger scale, it's simply to inform allos of our existence. We don't have mainstream representation. I can arguably name 5 off the top of my head, but we're not really there. It's talked around, it's a joke, it's misrepresented, and it's frequently suddenly switched on a dime. (I'd like to take this moment to offer a solemn fist bump of solidarity to the bi, pan, polyam, non-binary, intersex, and other communities who suffer the same crap right now.)

But this week is for us. For the aces, the aros, the demis, and the grays. This week is ours. Because while I am queer and proud, I'm also ace and proud. This is your reminder that there's a difference. Happy Asexual Awareness Week.

[k8kat]

bi/pan discourse

i want to preface this by saying that i am not trying to invalidate bisexuality in any way. i condemn biphobia, harmful bi stereotypes, and pansexuals who use the label in biphobic ways. 

there has been a major resurgence of pan vs bi discourse lately, and it has been EXHAUSTING. (honestly, i’ve seriously considered leaving the lgbtq+ side of the internet before just because of the sheer amount of discourse.) initially, i was going to keep to myself and try not to let the discourse get to me. but there’s a shit ton of misinformation and people not taking pan voices seriously, so i thought fuck that. i try not to comment on individual community discourses because i believe that if it’s not your label, it’s not your place. for example, i don’t weigh in on lesbian discourse because i am not a lesbian. therefore, my opinion doesn’t really matter. anyone who identifies as a lesbian is more of an expert on the subject than i am and my voice might get in the way of other valid opinions from lesbians. same goes for trans, nonbinary, ace, etc. but this discourse does involve me, so here’s my two cents. 

first off, we need a bit of history. pansexualism was coined in the early 1900’s by freud to denote the idea that all human behavior is driven by sexual instinct. but no one listens to freud because he was wrong about a lot of things. many people, when looking at the origins of modern pansexuality, point to a horrendously biphobic and transphobic internet post from 2002. however, pansexuality as a label has been used as early as the 1960’s/1970’s (though that was partially within kink communities to mean someone who was open to any sexual experience). in the mid-90’s a more recognizable version of pansexuality came into play. pansexuality was used in some cases interchangeably with bisexuality in the 90’s. some have said that they used the pansexual label because of transphobia and nonbinary exclusionists in certain areas of the bi community. (i am not trying to say that bisexuals are transphobic, i am only saying that there were/are transphobic bisexuals, just like there were/are transphobic pansexuals, lesbians, gay men, etc.) some have said that the label was used because of the fact that more gender identities were starting to be more widely accepted, so some in the bi community felt they needed a new term. while the bi community has become much more accepting, many people today still identify as pansexual.

many people have also said that pansexuality promotes bi erasure. if people use pansexuality to describe someone who actually identifies as bi, then yes. If you use pansexuality to invalidate bi people, then yes. but someone simply identifying as pan does not automatically erase a bi person. if someone includes the pan flag in a post but not the bi flag, that is the fault of the person who made the post, not the pan community as a whole. pansexuality is a valid identity with a history that, contrary to popular belief, extends past the existence of tumblr. most labels with overlapping meanings tend to lead to some degree of erasure (e.g. i’ve heard many claim that sappho was actually bi and calling her a lesbian is bi erasure, which, if true, i agree with). bi erasure is a serious issue that does need to be addressed, and while pansexuality does sometimes contribute, someone identifying as pan is not actively hurting anyone (unless they use pansexuality to justify bigotry, but that’s true of any identity).

many people have used pansexuality to excuse biphobia and transphobia. i am not trying to excuse any biphobic or transphobic pansexuals. i want to make it clear that i do not agree with these people in any way. trans women are women and trans men are men. bisexuals are valid and are not hypersexual, dirty, or less inclusive than pansexuals. bisexuals are wonderful and i 100% support anyone who identifies as bi. 

there are many definitions of pansexuality, some of which have been problematic. however, the most widely used one today, and the one that i use, is attraction to all genders. many people use the similar if not identical definitions of bi and pan to say that pansexuality is redundant and unnecessary. i do recognize that bisexuals can also be attracted to nonbinary people (yes, i’ve read the bi manifesto, many times. in fact, the part that comes after the famously-quoted bit in the bi manifesto tends to get overlooked and reads, “We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals. Many of us choose not to label ourselves anything at all, and find the word bisexual to be inadequate and too limiting.”). i am not going to tell bisexual people what their identity means. that’s not my place. i realize that some people say that pan, being on the mspec (multi-gender attraction spectrum) falls under the umbrella of bi, and i realize that some people find calling bi an umbrella term offensive. and i realize that having two words for pretty much the same thing can seem very redundant. so why don’t i identify as bi? the best way that i can describe it is that i don’t feel any connection to the term. when i use it it feels like it’s not mine. like i’m stealing or hiding. (though that could partially be because the only time i’ve called myself bi was in the presence of someone i knew would make fun of me for being pan.) simply put, i feel more comfortable identifying as pan. and yes, i realize that many people believe labels are strictly for description and not comfort, but i have to agree to disagree. labels are inherently there for your comfort. (e.g. some wlw prefer to simply be called gay instead of lesbian.) finding a label that you identify with can be an important part of being lgbtq+. and in the end, even if there is quite a bit of overlap in mspec identities, the labels that people use are ultimately their business. i am not going to force myself into a label that i don’t feel fits me just because of some online discourse (because, to be quite blunt, 99% of the lgbtq+ discourses are mostly if not completely online. I haven’t seen many be brought up in real life.). 

to be quite honest, the continued hatred of pansexuality only pushes me further into identifying as pan.  with all due respect, you can tear my pansexuality from my cold dead hands. 

ultimately, division between the bi and pan communities only leads to hurt. arguing amongst ourselves not only divides us and distracts from our common enemy, but actively gives our enemy more fuel to hurt us with. arguing amongst the lgbtq+ community gives homophobes and transphobes more examples of our “ridiculousness” to make fun of us with. as someone who goes to a school with lots of homophobes and has heard every homophobic/transphobic insult under the sun in the school hallways, i find the unification of the lgbtq+ community very important. we need to protect each other, not tear each other down. making each other feel invalidated and unwelcome only harms the lgbtq+ community. 

another issue this discourse has brought me to is the need for a new pan flag since the old one was created by someone who has been accused of being lesbophobic. so if and when a new flag comes up, i’ll be excited to see what it looks like! 

i realize that even after this, there will still be many people who disagree with me. and that’s okay! we can agree to disagree. i do it all the time. honestly, as long as people don’t try and force labels on me i’m cool. 

MORE RESOURCES ON PANSEXUALITY:

The Past and Popular Usage of the Term "Pansexual" 

 What Is Pansexuality? 

 defining pansexuality over the years

pansexuality vs bisexuality 

What is Pansexuality? | Definition, History and Pansexuals in Pop Culture 

What Does 'Pansexual' Mean? Behind the Rise of the Word | Time 

Pansexuality 101: It’s More Than ‘Just Another Letter’ 

Hiding in Plain Sight: Why We Need To Pay Attention to Bi/Pan Erasure 

The Difference Between Bisexual & Pansexual Matters Less Than Solidarity Among LGBTQ Folks, Advocates Say 

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Just some random Sex Ed s2 thoughts

I did this for s1 so may as well keep up the tradition!

Super SUPER proud of Adam this season- I still have mixed feelings about him and Eric as a potentially endgame couple because obvs that tired old ‘homophobic bully is just deeply closeted’ trope and we need more wonderful gay characters like Eric who don’t have to end up with their abusers. BUT, Adam has made some seriously good strides this season, they actually acknowledged that he’s hurt Eric in the past and he needs to do better, and idk I’m just proud of him as a person. If they play their cards right with the development in s3 (which I hope we get), I think I could be happy with Eric/Adam. Also his bi/pan solidarity friendship with Ola is precious and I think I honestly had a bigger reaction to him hugging her than I did to his big romantic gesture lmao.

Rahim was... done kinda dirty. Like, I actually agree with Eric’s mum that he probably wasn’t the guy for Eric- even though they were cute together I often got the feeling that Eric felt under some kind of pressure around him and never really dropped his guard. Also they clearly had some very opposing views about religion- I totally understand where Rahim’s coming from, I’m not religious myself and I know it’s hard to conceive why a marginalised person would buy into a faith that historically hasn’t treated them well. But last season his faith and his church played a huge part in helping Eric find his confidence and get out of a bad mental place and I think it’s important to him, so I wasn’t super keen on how dismissive Rahim was of it; I get that it was because Eric isn’t comfortable being openly gay in church yet and Rahim is waaaaay past the closeted stage, but considering how understanding and loving Eric’s parents are and how supportive everyone in that church seems to be it seems like it’s more a matter of Eric having to find the confidence in himself before he’s ready to take that step, I may be wrong but it seems like he’s in a fairly safe religious space and it seems a little unfair for Rahim to try and undermine his faith in that when that faith is an important part of him. Idk man. I liked Rahim, and he deserved better than to just be kinda publicly dumped for someone else, but I don’t think he and Eric were quite right for each other.

Look I know we’re all losing it over Adam/Eric and gossiping about the latest Otis/Maeve drama but I have seen ONE gif of Ola/Lily so far and this UPSETS ME they were??? My fave pairing of the season???? The second Ola had that first sex dream I SCREAMED and I NEED more love and appreciation and content for them!!!!

Speaking of Lily I... love her??? I’m still holding onto my asexual headcanon of her because even though she and Ola are great together it hasn’t really disproved that for me in any way- she still reads to me as an ace character with a libido, and the storyline about her experiencing her first real romantic attraction to a person she didn’t expect was just perfect. She’s just so great, unapologetically herself, I love how supportive Ola is of all her weird abstract tentacle porn fantasies, and her anger at the Groff’s sabotaging her play was hilarious and valid.

That fucking play kfjhfnkjmdfnkjsndfkgsdffkfasfbgfdgfh

I also have a serious appreciation for Ola and her pragmaticness- she had a dream about getting together with Lily and after some thought and careful consideration she broke off her unhappy relationship and damn well went out there to make it happen. Respect. She has this no-nonsense and honest way about her, like when she stuck her neck out for Adam to get his job back without asking him and didn’t hold it against him when it backfired on her, and I have so much respect for it. She’s just a ride-or-die friend/girlfriend and I love that- it makes her unflinching support of her girlfriend’s weird alien sex play all the more endearing.

Isaac. Now, I actually don’t hate Isaac- he’s not the sort of guy I could become very close with, since I sometimes have trouble reading sarcasm and can get sensitive about even jokey/friendly ribbing he would absolutely rub me the wrong way. But I don’t see why everyone despises his attitude/demeanour so much when he really isn’t that much more extreme than say, Maeve. Or the ‘mean girls’. And I actually think- hope- that he’s not a lost cause, because deleting that message was a fucking dick move and he shouldn’t have done it, but I actually think (or want to think) that he meant well. Which isn’t an excuse, obviously. But I don’t think it was purely an act of jealousy/possessiveness. You can see how affected he is by his parents’ subtance abuse issues, he oozes abandonment issues, and I think the decision to do that was at least equal parts A) fear of being abandoned/forgotten again and B) desire to keep Maeve ‘safe’. Which, let me reiterate, is not an excuse; he does not have the right to make decisions for her like that. But I just like to think it’s the sort of thing that could open out into some character development in s3- because if his trust issues are fanning out to affect other people’s lives and relationships he needs to seek help with them. Idk, I just see a lot of people totally writing him off in a way they don’t with, say, Adam, who abused the boy he loves for years. I don’t know if it’s because Isaac’s not gay, or there could be some insidious ableism there (wouldn’t be surprising), but idk I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt tbh so reading so many incredibly cutthroat comments about him is a bit exhausting. I hate what he did and Maeve deserves better but I don’t think he’s evil incarnate.

Maeve. Oh, honey <333 I legit feel so awful for her- she did the right thing calling social services but it’s horrible that she had to do that to her own mother and sister, especially when you could see over this season how happy having her lil sis around made her. And then Otis was a total dick to her when he was drunk and her best friend got assaulted and it’s just a lot and can she catch a break now please???

I’m proud of the progress Otis made in the last ep but g o d it was hard to root for him at so many points in this season fgbjfhkgf. Drunk Otis is a legit demon. I do feel bad for all the confusing shit he had to deal with though- Maeve’s out of the blue confession, getting suddenly dumped, his dad’s bullshit, his mum just flagrantly existing in his space at school and openly being the sex advice lady. I don’t envy him. Could he have handled stuff better? Absolutely. Do I totally hold it against him. Nah. Not really. Dude’s sixteen. It’s not fair to expect him to have all his shit together. Although idealy I think Maeve deserves more grovelling than that voicemail, even if she had got the chance to listen to it lmao.

Jakob continues to be lovely, but a little annoying. I mean, Jean totally messed up by kissing her douchey ex, and Otis definitely didn’t treat him well, but I would be pretty annoyed if my boyfriend- who doesn’t technically live with me but is still there all the time- just started doing DIY on my house without consulting me, especially if I have the kind of job that needs quiet periods in the house. His heart’s in the right place and he wasn’t treated well this season by anyone really, but I can’t deny that he got on my nerves lmao.

God I felt for Jackson. He really did break my damn heart. I adore his relationship with Viv though, and I’m glad he finally talked to his damn mum and has more freedom now.

AIMEE MY L O V E. I actually wanted to launch myself through the screen and ram that guy’s head through the bus window. I thought it was a really well paced releastic exploration of the effects of that kind of harrassment- even though she has a visceral reaction to it in the moment once she’d removed herself from the situation she kinda shoved it down for her own sanity, and when it became impossible to ignore that it was an assault because Maeve/the police took it seriously and didn’t leave room for misinterpretation that’s when it really started to haunt her. Her arc legit broke my heart, but the way they wrapped it up with all that bonding with the other girls and their support was just perfect and I... wept. Heavily. Also Top Heavy Steve continues to be, just. An angel. Actual cinnamon roll. I stan. Exactly the soft boy our Aimes deserves.

I honestly just really appeciate how dominated this season was by the queer and female-centric storylines. Fuck yeah.

ACE REP!!!! CANON ACE REP!!!! I mean I lowkey wish it was a main character and not a client of the week but fuck it I’m stoked!!!!! Also bi and pan rep, just.... good shit

Otis and Ruby were surprisingly good and hilarious together, fantastic unexpected double act, 10/10

When Otis brought out the roast chicken at the party I actually cackled

“dO YOU WaNT to fUCK A GhOST?!!!”

I appreciate Otis giving Adam the ‘shovel talk’, even though Adam is a behemoth and Otis appears to have the structural integrity of a wafer

It’s not truly an English show until the unexpected appearance of Stephen Fry.

Once again, Ezra Furman killing it with the soundtrack- and just general great music choices all round.

The aesthetic continues to be everything. A lot of people criticise how kind of American it looks and also how weirdly retro the aesthetic is, but that’s one of my fave things about the show, it’s not only engaging with it’s characters/stories but it’s also just fucking fun to watch. I don’t think I saw a single outfit I wouldn’t personally love to wear, even on the extras. Also there’s just so many American shows/ movies around atm and ngl I’m really enjoying watching a show that has the kind of aesthetics and tropes of a classic American high school show without actually just, having to be immersed in pop culture references I don’t get.

God bless Maureen Groff, I’m proud of her <3

I continue to be v e r y gay for Gillian Anderson. Surprise surprise.

Eh, there’s probs more I could get into be cba. tl;dr; show good, v. gay, mild critques apply, More Ola/Lily Content Plz (also what’s their shipname? Lola? Oly?... Oily??????)

[pinkprettycure]

D*nt rb this first of all it's a personal Thot

I've been pretty .. tired from ace discourse for a long while and stopped caring because most of the arguements were stupid (seriously we have the "who's allowed at pride", like the parade, discussion every year. Literally anyone who isnt a threat can come! Yes even allies 🙄🙄🙄)

But the other day I saw a post that really had me Thinkin, i cant for the life of me remember who wrote it but it was about how lesbians and bi women find solidarity in the experience of women who love women, but as a woman who does not like men op felt alone in that regard, and was considering the possibility of ace/aro women and lesbians having solidarity.

And it really had me thinkin like, damn I like to be all hi five lol I hate men too but I'm still attracted to men, I cant relate to the experience of not liking men as much as i think i can.

Anyways it had me thinkin damn maybe aces and gays can have more in common than we thought, and damn maybe I've been needlessly cruel, especially toward ace women. And like idk if I was an ace kid and I felt like shit for not dating a boy like a normal girl if probably seek out the LGBT community too

I do still maintain my position that identified hetrom aces and het aros have different experiences from The Gays and they should seek out community with other aces in regards to those different experiences but honestly that really goes for all of us, lesbians do their own thing w lesbians and gay men and bi men be on their own shit of course aces do and should have their own community to talk about acey things

But like aces can come kick it w us in fucking pride parades and the gay clubs at school dam.

And before anyone comes on about okay but aces might take our resources see above. They gonna figure out what specific support they need for their experiences, I know aces are very aware of what they do and dont have any business using anyways and I'm not worried about that

Anyways this is mostly an apology for being a dick more than anything. I'm not really identifying as inclusionist because I still dont really understand much about The Ace Experience or the history if the gay community and I'm not finna start pretending I do and I'm the king of deciding who's welcome (plus I hate the terms anyways)

I'm more like, damn maybe we should be less mean to women and teens person? I feel like we been too damn mean to women and kids.

[flying-elliska]

Have you ever got that feeling that being bisexual is like having a double life? Like you can enjoy straight things and culture but you can also enjoy from the LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes I feel like a double agent and I feel privileged in the community because there is the possibility of not being judged if I decide to date someone who has a different sexual orientation than me. I feel like I’ve been too brainwashed after reading how bisexuality is being “half straight half gay”

It’s like living in a gray zone where you feel like you have to play for either team, but you don’t identify with either of them. And I was reading some discurse in radical lesbian pages that say that we only bring trouble by bringing men into the LGBTQ+ community. It really got to me and now I question what is my position there. Sorry if I bother you with these questions, but you’re the one I’ve seen that can tackle these kind of issues sensibly.

Hey, don’t worry anon you’re not bothering me, thanks for trusting me with these sort of issues.

Bisexuality is its own sexuality and it is fully valid on its own and part of the LGBTQ community on its own, no matter who your long term partner is. You don’t have to pick a side. LGBTQ culture is yours, as much as you want it to be. Bi people have been there at its onset and still are - for instance, the woman who organized the first Pride march, Brenda Howard, was a bisexual rights activist ! Of course, there is a small but vocal minority of the community that derives their clout from wanting to exclude others (be it bi, trans, ace people…) who are not up to their purity standards. To me, this vision of community as a small set of resources to be hoarded and defended from those who are not oppressed/deserving enough is extremely damaging (and ultimately plays into the hands of conservative ppl who hate us all but love seeing us tear each other apart.) Honestly I would stay away from radical feminism shit if I were you, that stuff can be extremely toxic for bi women (and plays into super crappy essentialist visions of gender). You are not ‘bringing men into the LGBT+ community’ anyway (lol there are already plenty of men there ! trans men ! bi men ! gay men !) and even if your partner is a straight dude, I think as long as he knows how to be respectful, there is nothing wrong with that. You’re not straight, your relationship isn’t straight. The mentality of ‘us vs the rest of the world’ is often, I think, born out of trauma, and there is a lot of that to go around, but some people choose to take it out on other people instead of choosing healing. Also this idea that men are necessarily horrible dangerous people ‘polluting with their presence’ is just...bad on so many levels (women can be terrible too lmao). Having women centric spaces can be helpful and great for certain things, but the LGBTQ community should be more expansive than that. I mean - if you go that way, there are trans people with opposite sex partners too, should they not bring them to Pride either ? It’s a very slippery slope there, and it goes down to a garbage chute where we start overanalyzing each other and our sexual behaviors that starts to resemble a 19th century Puritan village which is...completely nuts, for real. 

 My perspective is that the more we grow as a community, the more people realize that they might not have been as straight as they think they are, the more powerful we are. You are not taking anything away from anyone or anything, you’re not polluting or invading. Your story and earnestness in love are an asset to the community. This diversity is what makes us strong and beautiful. Of course, we might be joined by people whose same sex attraction is rare, people who earlier in human history might have been closeted, even to themselves their whole lives. But this freer society is giving them the opportunity to be honest about the full extent of their capacity to love, and I think that’s beautiful. This need to draw lines can be so toxic for questioning people, too. Human sexuality is often a fuzzy, fluid, complicated thing, for a lot more people than we are willing to admit. 

Besides, axes of oppression don’t only work along sexuality lines. It’s much more complex than that. And even if yes, things might be easier for you in certain respects if you are in a ‘straight passing’ relationship, and it is important to recognize that ; if you have to dismiss your sexuality, if you’re not able to be open and are pressured into sweeping a whole part of your identity under the rug, if you’re not taken seriously and excluded from a community that is important to you, then that can cause a lot of damage and mental health issues. Being bisexual is a specific LGBTQ experience which comports challenges of its own ; the insecurity and pressure to ‘choose’ is part of the burden. Not having the exact same experiences as a lesbian doesn’t make you ‘less valid’. One sign of that is that bi people are a lot less likely to be out and a lot more likely to have mental health issues, and I very much think those two are linked. 

Anyway, if i have to give any advice - some parts of the LGBTQ community are shitty, esp those who play the ‘you must be this oppressed to ride’ game. But there are also some that can be wonderful. If you have the opportunity, it could be a really empowering experience to get in touch with your local, specifically bi community (it was for me), read bi focused books or stories of other people ; to help you grow your own sense of confidence in your own sexuality. My hope is that in the future, as bisexuality is represented more fully in the media and more bi people are open and further generations grow without those toxic ‘either/or’ mindsets, this damaging feeling of being double agents/having to pick a side will fade. And that we have a more distinct sense of bi pride/culture etc without being continually erased or seen as gay/straight by default. 

At the same time, of course…I think it’s very much part of the human experience to navigate between social environments where the microcultures and codes are different. You don’t behave similarly with your parents and your friends, I’m sure, or at school or a party, but neither of these things are dishonest ! So there is nothing wrong with behaving a little differently when you’re surrounded by queer friends and making references to a specific culture. You’re not dishonest and you’re not in hiding, it’s just a different part of you that is coming to the front. And you can bring your own bisexual self and experiences to LGBTQ spaces, as well, to make it richer and more diverse. If you can’t…that’s a bad sign. 

And finally…living in a ‘grey zone’, a more liminal space, can be a wonderful thing in itself ! It’s sort of amazing to be able to be attracted to people no matter what their gender is, don’t you think ? Or to be attracted to different genders in different ways ? I actually think it’s really fucking cool to be bisexual. Despite the stigma and the headache it is, often, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It can be such an exhilarating experience realizing you don’t have to reproduce heteronormative patterns in your life, that you can find similar things attractive across genders, or not at all… I just find it so interesting and so freeing. Especially since as women we are given such a narrow view of what we are supposed to find attractive and how to be attractive and how to do relationships. And to me being bi just helped blow that shit up sky wide. And it allows us to stand in solidarity with other minorities who are not always given their space in LGBTQ spaces. Honestly, the few bi spaces I’ve been in were so much more open, making efforts to be accomodating to people with disabilities issues, were so much more diverse in terms of gender/class/race/culture/body type etc…I’m not saying all bi spaces are inherently superior but I feel like bi people, at least those i’ve met, are often more prone to think about those questions and it’s been absolutely delightful. Because we understand what it’s like to stand at an intersection and not feel entirely part of something, and so we want to foster spaces where people can be themselves in all their myriad identities, and that this feeling of ‘being at a crossroads’ can be so rich and beautiful. 

 I hope you can find that same sense of pride and certainty in yourself. Of course, it’s not always going to be easy, and I understand these doubts. You are definitely not alone with them. I mean, we say we don’t have to choose, but we do have to make choices in where to look for partners, for instance. I hope you can listen to your desires without crowding them out with pressure from outside, and follow your heart where it leads you. 

[thestuckylibrary]

The straight writers + mlm fic thing. I'm totally bummed that sounded like a dig at cis straight fans for being into + supportng m/m ships. Why s it bad for us to support slash ships just cause we're straight? LGBTQ writers matter + we need more of them, y'all! just why does our work mean less when we're here for and supprt those LGBTQ people and writiers? an I'm writing for everyone y'all, not just straight gals. We should support each other equally + not put others down dude

No one is putting you down, or saying you shouldn’t support or create content for slash ships. We’re just saying as fans writing about queer people, specifically mlm, we shouldn’t treat straightness and cisness as neutral or the simple fact that we are writing slash as allyship. We’re talking about queer issues, specifically mlm issues in fandom, and by sending an ask like this you are placing yourself in the role of a victim, which you are not. While I’m not mlm, I am queer. disclaimer that I’m not mlm I’m just a queer woman whos trying to show some solidarity. I’m not an authority by any means, I’m just riled and trying to put forth opinions Ive seen mlm give and you know, not hide from the fact that fandom isn’t perfect. but do note that I’m a cis, albeit queer, woman writing this, not mlm. 

We’re not saying your work is less or that you shouldn’t be here, we’re just saying, hey maybe engage with what you’re writing a little more critically and don’t act as though your writing is for everyone unless you are actively listening to mlm about problems that show up when women, particularly straight cis women, write about mlm.

As usual I could not keep it brief for the life of me so I put most of my queer rage under the cut

Ok so first off you have the whole side of fandom (once again, not mlm, but women, in my experience mostly cis straight women) that like calls bucky their “sad gay baby” or “smol sad gay” and calls m/m erotic fic things along the lines of “filthy sinful gay smut”. I can totally understand why this makes mlm uncomfortable, I mean like who wants their non heterosexuality to be the defining trait that makes them appealing to straight people, who would want their love to be routinely called sinful and filthy by a community that claims to love them? Seriously guys take a step back and think about how it would feel to have someone talk about you like that. 

I read a huge wonderful post by a bunch of mlm in fandom a while ago and I’ll sum up a little of it here. Basically it’s absolutely wonderful to have a huge community devoted to create content about lgbt+ characters. It’s amazing to have a space where people can come together and create content where queer people get happy endings and we can explore all sorts of themes all with lgbt characters. But since slash has a huge number of women, cishet or lgbt+, writing about lgbt+ men, stuff can get a not great. 

For example, its really, really common to see top/bottom debates among fans. It’s one thing for mlm to identify as a top or bottom, it’s a whole other for women to sit there and debate which character fits in which static role. The whole thing reeks of deciding whos the “man” and whos the “woman” all to appease (usually and I am speaking from experience, not statistics or anything) straight cis women. We used to have a mod here who was a sex therapist and she talked a lot about how top/bottom debates are a really stereotypical way to look at queer mens relationships and as they are now its basically all about perceived gender roles and fetishization which like, is one of those things that should be putting up a red flag. She also talked a bit about how statistically it’s pretty likely that most gay couples don’t even really have penetrative sex and stick to mostly oral, intercural and hand stuff. And I’ve seen like so many mlm say that the whole top/bottom debate in fandom is homophobic as fuck time and time again and people just keep on going. Randos (especailly straight people) debating whos penetrating and whos being penetrated in a gay relationship as static roles is really. hoo. yikes. You also see things like only trans writers writing trans men who top, which speaks volumes. While what you read and write is up to you, it’s a good idea to look at why these trends happen and how they happen and what they do. 

You also see a lot, like A LOT of unsafe sex practices because they’re “not hot otherwise” Just to start, me, a bi ace woman, cringes when I’m reading a fic and someone just shoves their dick into an asshole with like only some kissing as warm up. No. If you did that in real life, it would straight up just be painful and cause anal tearing. Also: rimming with no cleaning first? Like ok if you really think its hot to plunge a tongue into a dirty asshole, go for it but like, really? It takes literally one sentences to add in like “oh hey I did an enema and cleaned up before you got here” before delving into sex. It takes one sentence to do the same for lube oh my god seriously unlubed anal sex no matter the gender is just gonna lead to either 1. dick or toy stuck in asshole, 2. severe anal tearing, 3. both and even more delicate skin and tissue related injuries. While I’m on it if you are a vagina owner, or a penis owner or somewhere in between and are interested in playing with genitals, you should be using lube if you aren’t already. lube is your friend. 

While it’s not content creators duty to make sure people know how to have safe sex, it’s pretty troubling that unsafe m/m sex is looked at as being “hot” in a very particular way. From what I understand, proper prep is a vital, vital part of gay sex and woman saying fics that show proper prep aren’t “”hot”” and fics that don’t show it are, that speaks to a broader problem. 

Anyways this is me, a womans thoughts on the matter synthesized from reading a bunch of posts by mlm discussing the way them and stories about them are treated in fandom and it’s honestly better to just like, read their opinions. I tried my best here but I am still a woman and therefore don’t fully understand mlm experience (not that there is a single mlm experience)

Please do continue writing and creating and reading and making headcannons! No one is saying you shouldn’t be here or you shouldn’t wrote m/m! All that’s being asked is for women, especially straight women who read and write and create m/m fanworks, to engage with it mindfully and like, at least make your best effort to not to fetishize mlm, to treat them as people rather than objects, which I really don’t think is asking too much. 

Further reading

here

here (same post but with different topics discussed)

here

Feel free to add more links of mlm taking about these issues cause I know i’m long winded but I don’t want to talk over mlm!