#trans man splinter

[justaturtleindisguise]

MORE RAT DAD AND SILLY TURTLE TOTS !!!

i've been obssesed with drawin' young Splinter and his babies,, they're so silly

[echonvoid]

Here’s some Splints doodles. I wish theyd go into the trauma he experienced with being at the battle nexus and shit; and that they’d stop giving characters unearned redemption arcs. Or show that it’s Splinter having an incredibly unhealthy relationship with his past abuser(s). Like Draxum needs to actually feel remorse for the fact that he was planning to commit mass genocide; his relationship with Lou Jitsu is interesting cuz, most headcanon them as having known each other or being exes. But like, in canon, Huggin and Munnin rescue him from enslavement and imprisonment. They have like a conversation, Lou consents to the experimentation until he realizes that the other subjects are the turtles. So like, it’s not a healthy one, but at least I understand that he was at least in a healthier space when he thanked baron for his kids. Big Mama straight up kidnapped him and forced him to fight for his life in a blood sport for probably at least several years, if not a decade. And then imprisoned him in an empty cell like garbage when he began refusing to fight. And then he acts like they were just exes who had a nasty breakup. Mans needs some real therapy. And big mama should NEVER be given a redemption arc. Because that’s just encouraging people to forgive their abusers and that’s like, a fucking huge no no

EDIT: also, I don’t think Splinter was ever neglectful or anything. Not saying he was perfect and he’s also certainly understood that and has grown for it. My big thing is, is I grew up with a mom with Sjogren’s, and autoimmune disease that attacks all her saliva, tear, and sweat glands. Anyway, for a long time, it’d hit noon and my mom would be out for the count the rest of the day. We were homeschooled so we just usually watched Netflix the rest of the day. But I never felt neglected. My moms disabled and she does the best she can (although now she’s in her 40s and feeling better than she ever has in her life, since the age of 12) I feel like this was the kind of situation splinter and the boys found themselves in more often than not; especially with all the trauma and shit, plus I’m sure mutating wasn’t very pleasant on the old bones. Anyway, like, splinter was, essentially, a disabled, ptsd crippled, single father with literally no support system and no ability to get help from the outside world. I think his wealth from his past life (if he could get access to it) was the only thing he could support them with.

Anyway, here’s my art; the second one takes place when Leo makes a deal with big mama to fight in the show.

[shoegazingmonad]

Puppets are sexless by default and don't usually have a concept of gender nor one assigned to them at creation therefore Doc Scratch using he/him and presenting masculine means he's transmasc

[turtshell]

its almost embarrassing how much time i've dedicated to thinking about ftm 03 leo. i have so many thoughts about him

[splinnters]

thinking about how uncomfortable it is to typically be the ONLY guy in the room when one of my friends goes "we should kill all men!" like thanks bestie. really making me feel welcome in this space today.

[yamujiburo]

HANAMUSA (JESSIExDELIA) MASTER POST

I probably should have started doing this forever ago but I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna stick with drawing these comics. But I guess we’re in it now! This will be continually updated~ EVERYTHING UNDER THE CUT

BEFORE YOU START:

This post is required reading about Team Rocket’s ages since that’s usually a question that comes up a lot LOL. As for Delia’s age, she is said to be 29 in Takeshi Shudo’s (original writer on Pokémon) novel that built out the world and characters of the anime.

Next, I feel like this chart helps give the vibe of what these characters relationship is (all just headcanons except for their names and ages)!

WHERE TO START:

Here’s a post I made detailing how Jessie, James and Meowth initially start living with Delia. It also goes into what each character does in this AU. Before going into the post, you might enjoy this fanfic my girlfriend commissioned! It’s based off of said post and is a more enjoyable read.

Here’s also a list of headcanons!

COMICS:

Here’s all the comics I’ve done! The order of most of them are pretty ambiguous and up in the air but I put them in the order I kinda see in my head! There are some that do take place before Jessie and Delia start dating though! Also a few comics that have several parts but the “next” and “prev” links will be in each comic. So I’ll only link the first part of those ones in this masterpost.

Pre-Relationship

Fast Food

Ophidiophobia

Whipped

Making Eyes

Hairbrush

Inquiries

Separated

First Kiss

During Relationship

Big Bed

Tattoo

Crumbs

Pet Clown

I’d Like To

Jessica

Lipstick (not a comic but some fun extra dialogue for this)

Glow

Official

Stare Down

Shovel Talk

Invisible Walls

Date Night

Face Blind

One Motto Away

Snowgasboard

Delia’s Got a Cold

Mr. Jessie Ketchum

Peek-At-Chu

Hands Off Pikachu!

Wine Nights with James

Beauty and the Beach

Turning Point Arc

Sunscreen

Where Do Babies Come From

Love Life

Ugly

Ace Trainers

Pikasitting

Mother’s Day

Father’s Day

Gift for Delia

Gift for Jessie

Jessilina Fan

Crossdressing

Hickeys

Journey Arc

Tone

Cooking Twerp

Son

Cooking Advice

Serperior Facts

Cassidy’s Cabin Arc

Father/Son Bonding

Glasses

Uniform

Study Help

Happy Valentine’s Day

Wrapped

Daddy Daughter Double Battle

Splinter

Married Life

Wedding

Arbok/Weezing Reunion

Snake Eyes

MISC DRAWINGS:

I’ll update this with links to my other miscellaneous drawings later! 

FAQ:

What does "Hanamusa" mean?

Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.

When does this AU take place?

It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.

What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?

Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.

If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?

Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).

Who do you think Ash’s dad is?

I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.

Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?

That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.

Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?

Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.

You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?

I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!

Who does James end up with in this AU?

No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single

Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU

I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!

What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?

Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.

Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?

I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.

Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon

Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon

Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?

Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.

Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?

Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.

Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?

Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.

Will you ever put this on webtoon?

Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~

[scatterbrainedbot]

I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED

@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS

okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!

(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)

- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡

-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)

-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.

-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)

Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help

*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.

-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.

but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.

the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)

(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)

[necronatural]

Context on Project Moon discourse

I did some digging and watched some internet slapfights between Korean users, and collected as much context as humanly possible, trying to avoid hearsay where I can:

Misogynistic dudes start complaining about how sexless and non-waifu-female-heavy the game is, feeling the skimpy Sinclair outfit with the thotty little collar VS the fully covered Ishmael outfit is pointed feminist jeering (a law Hawkeye Initiative). Korean anti-feminists are really sensitive to pointed feminist jeering. More on that in a bit

Upon learning the identity artist is male, they trawl the rest of the staff to prove their stupid-ass theory.

They latch onto the lead CG artist, who has tweeted about feminism before.

Project Moon receives countless threats and people marching on their office IRL demanding to speak to the CEO.

The resulting hate campaign leads to Project Moon firing the lead artist for violation of contract; it was specifically requested by the company that all users delete political statements and controversial topics before joining, and the tweets the incels are using seem to prove that the worst case scenario for not adhering to the request has come to pass.

The thing is, she did delete the tweets.

This user has screencapped incels scrambling to justify their belief the game is for man-haters, including a statement that he had dug up deleted tweets. These are old records.

These are the retweets, all made before joining the company (but again, the policy was that the tweets like this should be scrubbed). Most of them are just being catty. The most extreme statements are a scathing satire even a child could understand, and some general feminist sentiments which are not incendiary in any way. It seems they were screencapped to cement a pattern of passionate feelings on feminism.

In Korea, feminism is considered a wedge issue, which means basic activism becomes extremely politically charged. Think of it like how trans issues are being treated in America at the moment, or how "Critical Race Theory" was a wedge issue like 2 years ago. Nevertheless, the most hateful statements in these tweets are not "feminist", but rather annoyance at misogyny, and pretty obviously jokes.

The tweet that the incels are latching onto here states "if being a feminist makes me Megalia, I am Megalia. If being against patriarchy makes me anti-social, I am anti-social". Megalia was a scumbag leftist radfem group originating from Korea's 4chan (anonymous messageboards). It was bad enough that banning gay slurs created a splinter group. Megalia was well-known for mirroring misogynistic behaviours back onto men. They were reviled. An actress lost her job for wearing a T-shirt this group sold, even though the funds were going to supporting women seeking legal actions. Association with Megalia was reputation poison.

Notice I refer to them in the past tense, because Megalia shut down in 2017. The tweet was in 2018. You could not get any more obvious that the statement being made was "you can insult me by calling me Megalia, but I still believe in feminism". There is no association with this incendiary group.

Incels "supported" their argument with an image of Yi Sang holding a vial in basically one of the only 2 ways you can hold a vial, calling it a reference to 🤏, an emoji used as the Megalia logo interpreted to mean "men have small penises". This insane interpretation is being used to cement the whole company as misandrist.

Therefore: Project Moon fired their lead artist even though she didn't violate her contract because insane incels did a "how dare you say we piss on the poor" bad faith misinterpretation of deleted tweets in order to justify their belief that Project Moon is a man-hating company, and as a man-hating company deserves to be annihilated, leading to threats to staff.

The artist for Leviathan later stated that Project Moon pushed the comic forward with no buffer, and when the schedule became unbearable, they just cancelled it. They were told there was an issue with production (supported by the fact the company dropped the translation in favour of focusing on the game), but this news has made the artist pessimistic about the company's treatment of their art team. (Update: deleted, with a statement they feel they felt attached to their debut work, and struggle with feeling like they ran away.)

Here's the artist Vellmori's twitter if you would like to support them through this period.

[turtleblogatlast]

Feeling a lot of trans Leo feelings rn and I would like to reiterate how possible it is for him to not only be trans but also have no idea at all about it.

Okay so, he’s bigger than Donnie, particularly carapace wise, which tends to be the case when the slider is female and the softshell is male.

Second, his coloring. He retains the same coloring his whole life, even as a much older adult, so there’s another tick in the trans checklist, especially being that said coloring is noticeably bright.

His demeanor is also pretty at odds from most male red eared sliders - one example of this being when Bullhop was staying with them and Leo is noticeably less angered by him being both in their territory and in general than the others are - male red eared sliders would be way more combative here.

Like alone none of these are 100% definitive indicators but all together it makes perfect sense to me personally.

Now, how would it work for Leo to not know?

Okay, bear with me, but I like to think it’s because of Splinter’s (or rather, Lou Jitsu’s) genetics! As in, of course Leo wouldn’t assume otherwise, after all, his human self is very masc, including his lower voice and overall body type, so he and his family would have no reason to assume that he’s actually trans! But I personally like to think that it is because of Lou Jitsu’s DNA that Leo’s humanoid half turned out so masc in comparison to his more female aligning turtle half.

So yeah. Female red eared slider mutated with the DNA of a human man equals a turtle teen with no idea he’s trans (or potentially intersex.)

[hyperfizationss]

Hello, this is my first time requesting/communicating anything on Tumblr, so sorry if I’m awkward.

(I also just saw the movie today)

Can I request a TMNT Mutant Mayhem x reader for a female reader on their period? For all the turtles? How would they react? Could it also be comforting?

I’m sorry if anything I said was confusing.

If this makes you feel uncomfortable then you don’t have to, and I’m sorry if it does

Let me tell you this right now,all of them needed to have an explanation of a period and what it is. They lived in the sewers all their lives what do you except them to know about women?

𝓛𝓮𝓸💙

-he tried his hardest to understand what was going on

-he was definitely sad that you were in pain,and when he heard it happens every month,he nearly started crying he felt so bad

-he actually owns a heating pad for the simple reason he got it as a gift for his dad,but he somehow didn’t need it(he thought splinters old man bones would have needed it) so he does give you that for your cramps

-your literally laying on an bed an HES wimpy on the floor kneeling at the bed in case you need anything,he literally jumps at any opportunity to help you,he even offered to carry you to the bathroom when you told him you needed to change your pad.

𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚑❤️

- he deadass looks at you once you explain what’s a period is and asks “do you need a bandaid or something?” You have to explain it more to him until he finally understands everything.barely

-he lets you have anything from his secret stash of snacks,and believe me he got the goods.Twix,Hershey bars,Cheetos,airheads he got atleast one of everything in there

- surprisingly out of all of the turtles he’s really warm so there’s no bead for a heating pad just wrap your legs around him while you cuddle

ԃσηηιє 💜

-once you had your first period when you guy were in your relationship,he immediately started tracking it so he knew when he needed to get you important things

-he made a heating pad for you believe it or not,let me tell you it works better than anything you could find at a store

-you need anything?he’s finishing your sentences before you even say what you need

-he playing music for you,bringing you snacks

-anything you need my boy is there

ɱıƙɛų 🧡

-he has made you a period playlist,he shoves a pair of headphones on your ears while he forces you to take a nap

-snacks for days!(specifically 7)

-learns you pad/tampon size so he knows what to buy(he also doesn’t have any shame in buying you period products)

-I hc he’s trans so this is kinda hard for me

-but if u agree with my headcanons he def knows what do,and sometimes he can help u out

Thank you

[teleportzz]

splinter is a trans man btw. if you even care.

he isn't out to his sons and just lives as a stealth trans because he prefers it that way. when little kid leo comes out as trans it naturally goes great and the whole family is supportive, but splinter still doesn't tell them. one night they're watching a lou jitsu movie as a family and leo gets worried that he'll never look as masculine as lou jitsu does and splinter's like "do not worry about that, blue. lou jitsu is also a trans man. you can be like him" and leo's like "how do you know that?" and splinter's like (um oh fuck uhhhh uhhhh umm welll) "there was an interview with him! he confirmed it!" and little leo tries to find the elusive interview and even donnie can't find it so he assumes his dad just lied to make him feel better and then one night in his late teens he bolts upright in bed when he finally makes the connection.

[justaturtleindisguise]

SINGLE RAT DAD AND HIS RADIOACTIVE TODDLERS !!

look at my silly cookies. i finished them :D

tata loves when motivation hits-

Young Splinter is the most cringefail mullet trans dad ever, look at him go <3

Raph and Mikey all fussy for being carried, Lavi enjoyin' a nap nap and Donnie being a good leash kid trying to run away even when he's severely concused

[ccalhoun]

Hihi! I was wondering if I can send a request of a Brahms Heelshire oneshot angst? The plot would be like you guys got into a fight of some sort, making him angry and violent. He would accidentally hit you or push you, or anything that can cause you death? What would be his reaction? You can decide that :D

If you decide to do it, thank you so much! No rush at all! Take your time and have a lovely day💕

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

brahms heelshire x m!reader oneshot!

warnings: male reader, can be trans or cis, toxic brahms (its brahms lets be real), arguing, mutual comfort, mentions of blood, descriptions of abandonment, hurt to comfort

wc: 900+

cut for length!

you stormed out of your room, brahms following quickly behind you.

"wait, please! just listen to me! why are you so upset?" brahms' voice was a mix between begging and yelling at you. he was horrified you were going to abandon him and leave him (how would be survive without you)? however, he also thought you were being irrational, how bad was it really that he killed the most recent grocery boy? its not like he deserved to live, how could someone like him try to flirt on someone like you? it was disgusting, really, he views you as an angel, a higher being when all you really do is love him and sort of put up with his stalker-y bullshit. he couldn't let such a lowlife entertain the idea of doing impure things with you, obviously he had to kill the man.

"brahms! just leave me alone, i need to be alone, okay?" you snapped, still keeping you voice low but sharp. brahms let out an almost noiseless growl, barely hearing it himself.

"what's gotten into you? why aren't you listening to me?" brahms' tone now had more of an angry tone, you backed up slightly out of fear. you knew brahms loved you and just had problems with getting told no and being in healthy relationships, but he was still scary. and unstable. almost like you predicted it, he shoved you, hard, and you hit your head on the edge of a small hall table holding a vase with plastic flowers in them. the vase quickly fell off as well, smashing on the floor next to your hand. the sound not only scared you, but also made you flinch and get a few pieces of glass in the palm of your hand.

"damn!" you shouted out of shock before staying seated and trying to take deep breaths so you didn't pass out. brahms just looked at you in shock, millions of thoughts running through his head. his hands were shaking and his heart was beating in his ears, he started silently crying without even thinking about it. "brahms?" you whispered softly once you got your breathing under control and noticed the poor horrified man.

the sound of your voice woke him from his mini coma, looking at your face before starting to sob. his first thought was to get you a rag with water on it and some bandages, since thats what you used to clean him up when he got scraped. he quickly ran off to get the items despite your yelling for him to come back.

you wanted to get up and try to find him but you felt way too dizzy, you were just gonna have to wait until you could stand and walk around. hey, at least maybe he'd be more calmed down by the time you actually do find him! you started to doze off without realizing it when you heard the sound of him softly stepping close to you. your eyes slightly opening wider to look at the man in front of you. he was holding what looked like a cloth of sort and a box of band-aids, how sweet.

he carefully and slowly knelt down, making sure to avoid any of the glass on the ground. you quickly noticed the glint of silver in his hands and realize he was holding your tweezers, you instantly thought of the time he got a splinter and you used the same tweezers to get the small piece of wood out of his hand. you wanted to cry in a good way, he was being sweeter than normal and you missed seeing him like this.

"i'm so sorry," his voice was shaky and slow as he started to carefully and slowly look for glass in the cuts on your arm, trying his best to clean it up and make sure you'd be ok. it was at this point you realized he was still crying, it must have really freaked him out. your heart filled with warmth as you looked at the poor man, scaring himself because he's still trying to learn, him apologizing at all is a massive step. you were less scared, now just convinced you could help him to be even better, and make this the last time this ever happens.

"it's ok, brahmsy," you made sure to add his nickname so he listened better, you knew he loved it when you called him any nicknames, "you're still learning, it's ok. you're helping me now, you're doing such a good job," his crying seemed to stop as he froze and looked at you. the tears started up again after a minute and he hugged you tightly, avoiding your arm, letting out small 'thank you's and 'i'm so sorry's. he really did feel bad. you gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before interrupting the soft moment.

"sorry to rush you, but can you go back to getting the glass out of my arm? i want to show you how to do it properly, if that's ok with you," you smiled softly at him and he nodded slowly, handing you the tweezers and towel, setting the box of band-aids on the floor closer to you. you showed him how to find glass, take it out, clean the cut, and carefully put on the right sized band-aid, once you knew his attention was fully drawn from what happened, you relaxed as well, just enjoying showing him how to help.

and he did listen, he was able to clean up the rest of your arm without any problems <3!

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

[nerves-nebula]

Being trans, traumatized, and neurodivergent has given me a unique insight into writing my Splinter and his issues.

Mainly, he isn’t just like, sad about being a rat or whatever, he’s disgusted. He’s constantly distracted by how wrong his body feels. He’s constantly irritated by this incongruence between reality, what everyone sees, and how he identifies. He will always be a human man- but he couldn’t stand to sully his human name with this rat body. So now he’s Splinter, and Splinter is a rat man. Everyone says he is, but he knows he’s not a rat. Even if he’ll never be able to convince anyone that he’s a human.

And at the same time he’s aware of all the racial stereotypes he now embodies. He hates being called a rat, but now he has no defense because he literally is one, isn’t he? it drives him mad.

And he has animal urges he never used to. To hunt and nest and tear mice apart. Which just disgusts, distresses, and infuriates him even more. As if his body wasn’t enough, his mind is also warped into a repulsive parody of himself.

I think I’ve talked about relating to monsters before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten into just how physically I mean that. my ideal body is some kind of amorphous, but generally monstrous creature. I feel like a being from a different plane in a human body. And I know no one will ever gender me right cause their concept of a person begins and ends at humanity.

A definition of humanity that I often feel I don’t fit for a lot of reasons.

Anyway that’s how Splinter feels.

[good--merits-accumulated]

truly truly Neil Charlie Todd triumvirate is king please share any thoughts you have on them

OH BOY ANON YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS.

I. OPENING THESIS?

Basically, here’s my abstract for this whole thing:

(Les Misérables, trans. Isabel F. Hapgood)

And having put this down, I’ll ask you to overlook it, lol. Or treat it as a very loose guide! (If you haven’t any idea what the context of this refers to, here’s a quick rundown: a chief is a leader and someone who people rally behind. A guide is an enthusiast about all things and an advocate for progress, someone who checks the rampant idealism of the chief. The centre is warm, loyal, and acts almost as a mini-Sun for the chief and guide to orbit around, to stop them shooting off on their own wild trajectories.) In the interest of complete transparency, reading Les Mis at a young age had this irreparable effect on me where I now have to think of every triumvirate as a chief/guide/centre dynamic, but I don’t think this model applies 1:1 towards Neil/Charlie/Todd. Instead, I think of them a little as composites, interplaying with each other – Charlie as a guide who would much rather be a chief, Neil as a chief who works better as a guide, and Todd as a centre who’s never given the grace to grow into that role. Let’s go!

II. CHARLIE AS THE CHIEF-GUIDE

Charlie is like if rowdiness was a Guy. He’s big, he’s brash, he’s the instigator and he’s the captain and he’s the shameless one and he’s a side character! I have always found this very interesting whenever I watch DPS; despite Charlie’s main character-ness he is secondary, and doesn’t even get his own sideplot in the same way that Knox (for example) does. He’s a born leader who by virtue of the trappings of his story is relegated to supporting others, although you can so, so clearly see him fighting for space in the story. He gets pushed into being a guide almost by default; only the trait of enthusiasm really applies here. If Neil wasn’t there he’d be the leader of their group, no question. And the thing about Charlie is that he gets things done. He’s the one pushing the most for the re-creation of the Dead Poets Society after Neil, he’s caustic about things that are in his way (“Well, why don’t you stay home?”), people follow him! See Knox running after him, asking to be taught:

Charlie is the man of action – the telephone stunt is the biggest incident of that. And the way the boys gather around him afterwards as he regales them is chief-like; here he is acting as the chief, because this is around the same time that Neil’s chief role starts to slip away from him. But more of that later. 

The big thing is that Charlie never gets to really assume that role of chief, because Neil is always there. I talked earlier about how he pushes for the re-creation of the Society; well, Neil is the one who finds Keating’s old annual and reads it aloud to them. Charlie is the one cutting down the guys’ concerns about sneaking out after school: Neil is the one who suggests it – more than suggests it! Almost commands it, in a way that leaves little room for debate:

(Note that in this section, it’s Charlie who does the arguing for Neil, who doesn’t speak except to lay down the law and then ask who’s coming. Real king and knight energy.) 

Charlie never quite manages to edge into centre stage. You can sort of see how there might be resentment there – perhaps there would have been if they had gone on uninterrupted. But then of course Neil dies, and Charlie assumes the chief role by default, but it’s no longer glorious or something he can covet. But he does it anyway; he wakes up Todd, he breaks the news to him, very, very gently, he wipes Todd’s mouth with snow when he vomits and tells the others to leave him alone. But by this point, Charlie going into the chief role he’s so good at isn’t enough to stop the splintering of their group or his own expulsion.  

III. NEIL AS THE GUIDE-CHIEF

Part of Neil’s tragedy is that he would be good at the things his father wants him to do! He’s a wonderful all-rounder, he's the perfect all-American specimen, there’s no doubt in my mind he would have been a great doctor – except he wouldn’t, because the enthusiasm and the motivation would have been lacking entirely. (As someone who just did a shit ton of medical school interviews, yeah, they would have sniffed this guy out really fast. Or maybe they wouldn't… not sure how stringent they were in the ‘50s.) He would have been technically great. But being able to do something doesn’t mean you should; these are the things that Mr. Perry conflates and which Neil is never able to verbalise to him, except in a way in which he thinks he’ll understand:

In this scene, when he talks to him post-performance it’s not “I enjoyed it”, but a very simple, “I was really good”. And despite this concession of terms he says it when his father can't hear, because he knows he would never relent, oh God.

Actually, a lot of what I wanted to say about Neil has already been said in Charlie’s section. (The summary is basically that you must imagine me offstage with a megaphone as the movie plays, yelling, “YOU TWO NEED TO SWITCH PLACES, FUCKOS”.) Neil is a good leader, but that doesn’t mean he likes being one, or that he should be one! He has a few characteristics of a guide – he’s enthusiastic about everything, he has this boundless kind of delight in the things he loves (not idealism; that’s slightly different). But this is honestly where the model falls apart. I don’t think that Neil would make a great guide either, logic not being his forte; the irony is that the role of the triumvirate he most fits IS the chief, it’s just that that’s what kills him. The responsibility that comes with being someone who “speaks and people listen” isn’t good for him – this dichotomy of having “control” over the friendship group/no control over his personal life is terrible. He does get to lose the chief role, but it’s not in a way that is good for him; instead this manifests in a loss of control that happens very very quickly, which just makes him reach for ways in which he can control his own life. And besides, stepping outside of a leadership role with a great deal of responsibility and losing control over the course of your own life are two very different things. I just think that he should get to go offstage for a little bit and rest, with zero expectations on him ever. (Also there’s something here about how he gets to play Puck – a side character who has major effects on the story but doesn’t have to actually put his skin in the game. This is what I think Neil should get to do In Real Life.)  

IV. TODD AS THE PROTO-CENTRE 

One thing about Todd is that in my mind, I always imagine him as much redder than he actually is in the movie. I don’t mean I imagine him to blush more often – I mean ruddier, more flushed. Going back to the Les Mis quote – in my mind he does “possess all the qualities of a centre, roundness and radiance”! Todd is a catalyst like Keating in a way that Keating isn’t; this is never explicit at all but he has always felt to me like someone who inspires others by their presence. He’s such a wonderful, calming, grounding influence. Even when he talks to Neil and they have that non-argument he tempers Neil and reminds him what’s at stake without looking down on him. And when he realises how serious he is, he goes with it and supports him to the best of his ability – he says “Oh, Neil, Neil, you’re crazy” but it’s fond, he’s overjoyed for him. And you can see similar behaviour perhaps to a lesser extent with Charlie in the way particularly he calls him Nuwanda after his request, which is taken as ridiculous by other characters: 

And even after Neil’s death he does so, refusing to go back to normal:

But the reason I’ve put “proto-” for a prefix is because these are all singular occasions. The thing is that I think Todd could be that brilliant, grounding, assured man, a lighthouse of a man, almost. But he isn’t – he clearly isn’t – at the beginning of the movie he is shy and diffident and the non-argument I mentioned early does go a little sour, because while he speaks from a place of concern and love, his anxiety manifests in the conversation and makes him a little less tactful than he might have been otherwise. If things had gone on better than they went, and if Todd had been allowed to grow and develop more and without worry, he really, really would have blossomed into this kind of centre, this very steady man who would have reminded Neil of the consequences of his actions and made Charlie care about the consequences of his. But he doesn’t get to do that – by the time he grows and becomes more confident it’s too late, the worst has already happened. 

V. SUMMARY

I’m so sorry, anon, this is a prodigious answer to what was a very simple ask, but you hit on the subject I have Very Strong Feelings About. Not to toot my own fanfic horn, but there’s an excerpt from the fair folk AU which I think sums this up pretty well:

TL;DR: Charlie gets pushed into a secondary position which doesn’t suit him; Neil gets pushed into a leadership position which suits him, but he hates; Todd is willing to step into that secondary position as a behind-the-scenes supporter, but never actually gets that opportunity. Hence the tragedy. Hence the taking of lives. Hence how many fucking tears I have shed over this movie, Jesus. 

(I had a lot of fun writing this – thank you for giving me a reason to!)

[vinnymauro]

Friendly reminder that this community is MAINLY queer people and trans people. Ronnie Radke is a misogyinist, he is a racist, he is openly transphobic and NOTHING you can say will justify that

Bigots in the metalcore/alt community will NEVER want you so stop sucking up to their outdated and disgusting views and start SUPPORTING EACH OTHER, Ronnie Radke does not want you just because you are defending his "views". Its not an opinion, it's transphobia

Let's not forget that this man has domestic abuse charges, tweets about minorities, including cis women, to no end and has literally justified his actions by saying he should be able to indentify as a black man then, he gas talked shit on dylan mulvaney several times saying she isnt a women because she doesnt have a period, and many MANY other things

Y'all are sick in the head supporting this kind of behavior, something I fully expect a cishet, possibly white woman to fucking defend

"Not everyone has to support it" go eat chunks of splintered wood