#transitioning into a bear to date bears

[andy-in-space]

transition goal

[fawnsuga]

⠀⠀⠀⠀𓎢𓎟𓎡⠀ ݁🕯️⠀⠀dylan bennet klebold⠀⠀၇ৎܵ⠀𓎢𓎟𓎡

Dylan Bennet Klebold Date of Birth: September 11, 1981 Height: 6 ft 2.5 in Weight: 143 lbs

Dylan Klebold was the 17-year-old son of Mr. Thomas Klebold (then 52) and Mrs. Susan (Yassenoff) Klebold (then 50). He was the younger brother of Byron, who was 21 at the time.

Tom Klebold was a geophysicist, and Sue Klebold worked with individuals with disabilities. Both were originally from Columbus, Ohio, and were alumni of Ohio State University. Sue hailed from a prominent Jewish community in Columbus and was the granddaughter of the late philanthropist and construction magnate Leo Yassenoff, who established the local Jewish community center in Columbus that bears his name. Dylan was born in Lakewood, Colorado.

Dylan attended Normandy Elementary School in Littleton, Colorado, for first and second grade before transferring to Governor's Ranch Elementary School, where he participated in the CHIPS (Challenging High Intellectual Potential Students) program for gifted and talented children. His parents reported that he was somewhat sheltered at Governor's Ranch Elementary and believed his transition to Ken Caryl Middle School was challenging due to his quiet and shy demeanor. Transitioning from elementary school to middle school can be difficult for many adolescents, so his parents were not overly concerned.

During his earlier school years, Dylan participated in T-ball, baseball, and soccer. He was in Cub Scouts with his friend Brooks Brown, whom he had known since first grade. Dylan met Eric Harris while attending Ken Caryl Middle School in seventh or eighth grade. Brooks lived near Eric's new home and rode the same bus as him. The three boys soon formed a close friendship. Subsequently, Eric introduced Dylan to Nathan (Nate) Dykeman, who also attended Ken Caryl, and the boys became good friends. Dylan also met Chris Morris around that time, and they would eventually become best friends.

In 1995, all four boys transitioned to Columbine High School as freshmen. At Columbine, Dylan was active in school productions as a light and sound coordinator and was involved in video productions and the school’s Rebel News Network. He created several videos with Nate for the Rebel News Network announcements and another in November 1998 to show Nate's father his school and home environment.

Klebold received commendation for assisting during Rachel Scott's performance of "Watch the Lamb" when technical difficulties arose; he provided a backup tape to ensure the show could continue. He served as a computer assistant at school and helped maintain the school's computer server. He regularly played Fantasy Baseball with Chad Laughlin. Other players noted that he discussed plays happening the week of April 20, giving no indication he would not be present after that Tuesday.

Neighbors of the Klebold family described them as a model family. Sherry Higgins, the mother of a friend of Dylan and Eric, commented on the teens' "Hitmen for Hire" video, stating it was presented to her as a spoof about hitmen avenging the weak at Columbine. In retrospect, she acknowledged that this should have been a warning sign regarding Dylan's state of mind.

Following the shooting, Dylan's parents initially maintained they were unaware of their son's troubling behavior. Reports indicated that Sue was shocked by her son's actions, stating she had no forewarning of the forthcoming tragedy. Dylan's older brother Byron also expressed surprise at his younger brother's actions. The only firearm the family owned was a BB gun intended for pest control. Friends of Dylan noted that, while they observed Eric being bullied at school, they did not witness similar treatment directed at Klebold, who was perceived as too tall, too lanky, and too overlooked by those outside his friend group.

However, it was evident that Dylan was grappling with internal issues. Years later, Dylan's parents acknowledged in interviews that they had overlooked signs of his unhappiness, failing to recognize the clues that were apparent in hindsight.

Columbine's senior prom took place on April 17, 1999. Dylan attended the event by limousine with 12 friends. Nate Dykeman reported that nothing seemed amiss that evening; everything went "perfect." Dylan spoke enthusiastically about his future plans, which included attending the University of Arizona to major in computer science. He conveyed to his friends that he was genuinely excited about his future. His parents had already secured a dorm room for him. The entire family traveled to Arizona on March 25, 1999, to finalize Dylan's accommodations.

Dylan's prom date was Robyn K. Anderson, a friend he had met at a Christmas party years earlier. As a senior at Columbine, she attended the event with him as a platonic friend, not a romantic interest. Contrary to early media reports, Robyn and Dylan were not involved romantically; while Robyn had a crush on him, Dylan did not reciprocate. She proudly proclaimed to another male friend shortly before the prom, "I convinced my friend Dylan, who hates dances, jocks, and has never had a date, let alone a girlfriend, to go with me! I am either really cute or just really persuasive!"

Robyn Anderson assisted in the purchase of the two shotguns and the rifle used in the assault, acting as a middleman since Dylan and Eric were not yet 18, the legal age to purchase firearms in Colorado. Dylan boasted on one of the Basement Tapes that the seller was aware he was purchasing the gun. Shortly before the acquisition, the owner of Dragon Arms gun shop in Littleton reported that five teenagers attempted to purchase an M-60 machine gun and a silencer-equipped assault pistol in early March. Although the five appeared on store surveillance footage, it remains unclear if any of them were Dylan or Eric.

Dylan was frequently described as a follower, heavily influenced by Eric, particularly after 1998. Those who knew him characterized him as a young man lacking self-confidence—"painfully shy," according to some—but not prone to anger.

This shy demeanor is not universally recalled by those who knew him, particularly those closest to him in the months leading up to the shootings. His and Eric's behavior at Blackjack Pizza, where they worked, did not conform to this image. When bored, they purchased dry ice from a nearby Baskin-Robbins to create small bombs for detonation behind the pizza establishment. Dylan was once reprimanded for bringing a pipe bomb to work. He resigned shortly thereafter but was rehired when the restaurant required staff. On at least two occasions, the previous owner permitted Dylan and Eric to ignite aerosol cans—once in a mop sink and another in an oven. They frequently engaged in reckless fireplay behind the establishment, resulting in a dumpster fire that necessitated intervention from the fire department.

Dylan was known to use profanity in front of teachers and was suspended from school (along with Eric and another student) for hacking into the school's computer system to obtain locker combinations, which they used to leave a threatening note in an adversary's locker. Nate Dykeman reported that Dylan and Eric had taken computer parts from the school without permission. Dylan's father had previously compelled him to return a stolen laptop computer. A dean of students, who had seen Dylan and Eric in his office multiple times, told police he was not surprised they were involved, having observed "the potential for an 'evil side'... that there was a violent, angry streak in these kids."

Students in their early morning bowling class reported that Dylan and Eric would shout "Heil Hitler!" after rolling a good ball. Tom Klebold stated he was unaware of the origins of the Nazi references or the violence. The Klebolds were Jewish. Nate mentioned he had seen Eric draw swastikas, but Dylan never did, making it difficult to ascertain how much Dylan supported the Nazi movement. This inclination would seem inconsistent with the background of a Jewish-born individual, as would the violent tendencies he concealed from his family.

Dykeman informed police that he had witnessed Dylan making a purchase behind Blackjack Pizza, giving Philip Duran, a co-worker, approximately 200−200−300. Nate suspected Dylan was buying drugs, but Dylan clarified he was purchasing a gun (the TEC-DC9, which Mark Manes supplied with Philip's assistance as an intermediary). Following the acquisition of weapons, Eric and Dylan filmed a video at Rampart Range, where they practiced shooting the sawed-off shotguns and the TEC-DC9. Mark and his friend Jessica Miklich were present during this session. The videotape of their target practice was recorded in March and shown to Nate just two weeks before the Columbine shootings. Dykeman reported the existence of the tape to investigators three days post-tragedy.

In the weeks leading up to the massacre, Dylan submitted a school report that was graphically violent, prompting the teacher to inform his parents. Dylan rationalized, "It's just a story," an explanation readily accepted by his parents. The narrative detailed a lone warrior in a trench coat who—described in gruesome detail—beat, stabbed, and shot a group of "college-preps." The character then detonated bombs to divert the police's attention. The language used to characterize the "enemies" was so extreme that the teacher, Judy Kelly, refused to grade the paper until she spoke with Dylan. The families of three victims named Kelly, alongside other school employees, filed wrongful death lawsuits, arguing she should have taken more action to highlight Dylan's violent fantasies.

The Klebolds fully cooperated with Denver police in the aftermath of the massacre. Among the evidence confiscated were five videotapes, three of which featured the teens in the basement of Eric's home. In these videos, Dylan's darker side emerged; he was not merely a hapless follower of Eric. Instead, he exhibited characteristics of an angry young man intent on causing harm, evident in both his words and body language.

Dylan and Eric vented frustrations about their peers, referring to them as "stuck-up bitches." Dylan specifically named two individuals: Rachel and Jen. Clips from the videos were censored by the media due to the vulgar epithets he directed at the girls, making it difficult to interpret their full context. They also mentioned someone named Nick. Rachel Scott—the first victim—was the prom date of Nick Baumgart, a childhood friend of Dylan and a mutual acquaintance of Eric. Dylan had known Rachel since kindergarten, though it is unclear if these were the individuals referred to in the video.

In October 1999, the Klebolds announced their intention to sue the Jefferson County police department. Their claim was based on the assertion that had the police taken the Browns' report about Eric's threats against Brooks more seriously, the situation might not have escalated to tragedy. Several families of the victims expressed support for this position, including the family of Daniel Rohrbough.

There was some controversy surrounding Dylan's death; he succumbed to a single gunshot wound to the left temple. Investigators initially posited that if Dylan intended to commit suicide, he would have shot himself in the right temple. However, Dylan was left-handed, and his use of firearms with his left hand is evident in the video footage he left behind. The coroner classified his death as a suicide in the autopsy report. The Klebolds' attorney, Frank Patterson, confirmed on behalf of the family that Dylan was indeed left-handed, and they supported the medical examiner's findings.

Open Letter from the Parents of Dylan Klebold:

Nearly a year has passed since tragedy changed the Columbine community forever. A day that began innocently ended catastrophically. The healing process has moved slowly as we all attempt to cope, not only with our own despair but also with the distractions and intrusions that result from world attention.

There are no words to convey how sorry we are for the pain that has been brought upon the community as a result of our son's actions. The pain of others compounds our own as we struggle to live a life without the son we cherished. In the reality of the Columbine tragedy and its aftermath, we join the rest of the world in seeking to understand how such events could transpire.

We are convinced that the only way to truly honor all victims of this and other related tragedies is to move clearly and methodically toward an understanding of why they occur, so that we may work to prevent such madness from happening again. It is our intention to pursue this goal, believing that answers are likely within reach, though they will not be simple. We envision a time when circumstances will allow us to engage with those who share our desire to understand. In the meantime, we again express our profound condolences to those whose lives have been so tragically altered. We look forward to a day when our collective pain is replaced by peace and acceptance.

Finally, we wish to extend our gratitude to those who have sent their kind thoughts, prayers, and expressions of support to our family. We are constantly surprised and heartened by the gestures of understanding and compassion that have been extended to us. This support has been both humbling and inspiring, and we are truly indebted to those who have offered it.

The Klebold Family — April 15, 2000

September 11, 1981 - April 20, 1999 Dylan was a reserved individual who enjoyed playing computer games such as Duke Nukem, Quake, and Doom, and he built his own computer with a Linux operating system. He exhibited high intelligence and was enrolled in the gifted program at Governor's Ranch Elementary School known as C.H.I.P.S. (Challenging High Intellectual Potential Students) by third grade. This program concluded after sixth grade. While attending Columbine, Dylan took pleasure in creating home videos for his video production class and was heavily involved in theater productions, managing the sound system.

Dylan often felt awkward around his peers and was unaware of the extent to which he was loved by his friends and family. He experienced feelings of isolation and alienation and longed for a type of love he believed was unattainable.

Dylan's funeral was held at St. Philip Lutheran Church, the family’s place of worship. The service was private, attended by only 13 individuals, and was officiated by Reverend Don Marxhausen, who subsequently resigned from his position in August 2000. Reverend Marxhausen also officiated the funeral of basketball star Greg Barnes. Dylan was cremated, and there is no known physical memorial location.

[thewitchblue]

"Are you wearing fucking heelys?"

Jason asked while shaking his head. He was equal parts amused and surprised. Your shoes even lit up as you rolled along. You grinned and started rollerblading around him.

"Yep!"

It's not really a pair of heelys, but a pair of convertable shoes that can be turned into roller-skates by attaching two sets of wheels. You just happened to always have the wheels attached. You didn't put in the front wheels this time, however, which turned them effectively into a pair of heelys.

You were on the footpath with him, returning from a date night Jason had set up for you both, so you figured you could skate for a little bit.

You were surprisingly smooth in your gliding. It was as if you were practising. He didn't know you could rollerblade, let alone work those death traps.

"You fall all the time. How can you balance like that?"

You grinned at his bewildered expression and began doing tricks.

"I have the power of my heelys."

You know every trick and even invented some of your own. You got heelys originally as a joke, but they were surprisingly convenient, so you bought a pair of easily convertable shoes to make the transition of rolling to walking smoother.

"You're ridiculous."

He grumbled. He can't believe he only recently noticed your improved heelys. He managed to catch you mid-twirl and pulled you into his embrace.

You crashed into him immediately, but he barely staggered backwards. He managed to steady you after the initial crash easily. He murmured softly,

"Sorry, munchkin."

His voice held love, but his eyes were concerned. You gave him a quick kiss.

"Don't worry about it, teddy bear."

He hated that nickname so much, but he's indescribably weak for how soft your expression becomes and the pure adoration in your voice. You look so hopelessly in love, and it takes his breath away every time.

He was in awe at the unconditional love you freely give out. So what if it was a cringey nickname that his family often weaponizes when he gets into a fight with them? It's not like his nickname for you is any better.

You gave him a soft kiss to drag him out of his thoughts. You always know how to bring him back to the present. He's convinced you could heal his scarred soul and jaded heart with your embrace and your kisses. His bleeding romantic heart melts.

"When did this happen?"

He gestured to your shoes. You smiled when he kissed the top of your head. You said,

"I wear my heelys all the time. How have you never noticed?"

That explains why you fall on carpet and trip over your feet sometimes. He's never considered it was your shoe choice causing this problem. People are clumsy and trip. So what if you happen to stumble and trip more often than the average person? He only steadies your body and catches you before you can fall.

He should have known better realistically, but he felt like he was in a romance movie every time he caught you, so he continued to let it happen. He said,

"I was distracted."

You laughed. His excuse was weak, but you humoured him. You were incredibly amused. You said with a small laugh,

"Every day for four years?"

Jason smiled sheepishly. He knows everything about you except these two things. He knew you were good at ice-skating because you went on a date with him to the ice rink, but he didn't bring you to a skate park or a roller rink. The asphalt can actually hurt you, and he never wanted to risk injuring you, even by accident. He knows he's a dangerous and intimidating man, but he goes into a slight panic when you get hurt.

"Yes, every day."

He said dryly. You smiled while shaking your head. He's ridiculous, but he's adorable and soft beneath his tough exterior.

"Whatever you say, teddy bear."

He lightly flicked your nose and said,

"I had all my focus on you, munchkin."

You don't doubt that. Jason always watches you with his bioluminescent eyes that gleamed in the darkness and shined beautifully in the daylight.

"Like how you're staring at me now?"

Jason knows he's staring. He's always staring at you. It doesn't matter to him what you are doing or where you are. He's very attuned to you and what you are doing.

You had already made yourself comfortable in Jason's embrace. You managed to tuck yourself under his arm and circle his torso with your arms. You nestled yourself into his side as if you belonged there the entire time.

You sighed when you heard the familiar knock on your window. That was Dick's knocking pattern. He insisted on having a specific knocking pattern so you will always know it's him and not some random guy trying to get in after you smashing your bedside lamp on his head one night. You mumbled,

"Do you think he'll go away if we ignore him?"

You really didn't want to lose your comfortable position. You had just come home. Why can't he leave you two alone?  Jason groaned. He had just found the perfect position, and he's not going to get up now.

"Fuck off!"

Jason yelled, knowing Dick would hear him. Dick huffed and gestured to Jason's phone, which he made no move to grab. His phone was lying on the table, but he had already migrated you both to the couch to cuddle. He's not getting up for some family drama that likely doesn't involve him. Dick comes over for ridiculous reasons all the time. Why would this reason be any different? It's not like Jason Todd was found kissing his new fiancée outside of a ring store, and it's blowing up all over Gotham.

Dick noticed the engagement ring, and he exploded the group chat. Dick texted,

"It's real. My baby brother is getting married 😭😭😭😭"

Tim ignored the spamming texts while taking a sip from his drink and leaning back in his chair. He doesn't care how they got engaged, but Dick was trying to get any information possible. You make Jason soft, and he is more than content to continue to have soft Jason forever.

When Jason refused to answer even his texts, he added you to the family group chat (don't ask how he has your number).

"How?"

That was the most important question to Dick. How did he propose and how long ago?

You groaned and dug out your phone when the excessive buzzing wouldn't go away. Jason grumbled,

"What about 'fuck off' did Dick not understand?"

You laughed at his pouting expression and gave his ring a kiss. That seems to be a new method to soothe him, to your satisfaction. It brings a sense of peace being reminded you're his for the rest of time. You decided to ignore the texts flooding through your phone in favour of cuddling your teddy bear of a fiancée.

"I love you."

Your voice was muffled as you had your face buried in his chest, but Jason heard you clearly. He rested his head on top of yours.

"I love you too, munchkin."

His love for you has bled into every corner of his life, and he wouldn't change a thing.

You quietly invaded his life and now he can't live without the comfortable pillows and blankets you insisted were necessary, the couple photos along the bedroom nightstand table, the walls of the bedroom that you coverted into a bookcase when he ran out of room for his books, the way you cuddle closer to him when you wake up, and the sleepy smile you gave him after a nap. Every corner of his life had been invaded. You became his home.

He rolled you on top of him and wrapped a nearby blanket around both of you smoothly. You melt into his body and quickly found a comfortable position for both of you. You have at least three blankets in every room in your shared home, and he loved your added weight.

You sighed as your phone continued to go off. Dick is in full big brother mode, and you suspect he won't stop until you respond.

You picked up your phone, but Jason nabbed it immediately and texted, "fuck off," to end the conversation. You only got a glimpse of the word, "How—" before Jason turned it off.

"You need to tell them eventually."

You said with amusement. He grumbled,

"Later."

Later never came until the wedding day, but you have Jason by your side, so who really cares?

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Why no Super Mario Iliad or Aeneid though?

These are in fact the basis for the two Mario Galaxy games. It's not well known that every Mario game has its roots in mythology. While Mario 3 is well known to be based on several works of Greek Theater, and Mario 2 is clearly inspired by The Arabian Nights, the original Super Mario Bros. is the least known to have been based on, quite exactly, Dante's "Inferno."

The nine circles of hell in Dante's work are the inspiration for each set of 4 side scrolling levels, with each of Bowser's castles being collectively inspired by the ninth circle and transition into purgatory.

The first circle of Dante's hell is "Limbo" where he meets each of the virtuous but unbaptized poets who inspire him along his way. All of them Roman "friends," or in Italian, "cumpà," the origin of the English slang "Goomba." Each of them becomes a literal stepping stone toward his goal of finding his Princess Beatrice, flattening for him to walk through the stone abyss.

In the second layer of hell, Dante encounters the punishment for lust, in which a "whirlwind of lovers" manifests the sinful as fish attempting to swim aimlessly through a windy sky. Dante continues ever downward.

Gluttony in the third circle of hell is punished in eternal darkness, where bulbous white trees thrive, containing the damned within them, eating them as they feasted in life.

The fourth circle, Greed, is full of gold coins atop unreachable mushroom growths. Only a vine from Minos allows Virgil and Dante to climb away.

Deeper still flows Styx, the river of the wrathful. It holds ferocious sea beasts and damned alike who attempt to swamp Dante as he travels ever onward toward the city of Dis, where heretics dwell.

Dis, a tower made of squares and bottomless pits reveals The Beast Geryon, depicted as riding within a cloud, tormenting heretics with spines and impaling them on flagpoles bearing the names of their fraudulent beliefs.

The seventh circle is a wasteland for the violent where canons fire forever. Those who committed violent acts are shot, devoured by flying turtle beasts, or turned into trees like the gluttonous before them.

Hell's worst common sinners lay in ten walled ditches called "Bolgia." The ten great walls in Mario's penultimate level are a direct reference, as are the Brotherhood of the Hammer who built the walls referenced by the "Hammer Brothers." These hold gamblers, liars, and lazy authors who write excessively long jokes instead of working on the story they were commissioned to write.

At the end of each layer, Virgil explains to Dante that Beatrice is in another place. Urging him to keep going even beyond where he and other righteous dead may wander. All the way toward the final central circle, the castle of Hell itself.

Finally in the circle of traitors, Dante meets the devil on a bridge over troubled lava where he breathes flame from under his spiked shell upon the three worst traitors in history, Judas who betrayed Christ, Brutus who betrayed Caesar on an unknown date, and the "Traitor to Come," who is said to be a grotesque orange antichrist who will "sell out his nation" for a "Faulty carriage that travels on the power of lightning."

Finally, Dante finds Beatrice, his princess, who takes him to purgatory beyond the core of the Earth, where he ascends to heaven after touching the emblem of her name, the letter "B." He begins his new quest in Dante's "Purgatorio," which holds the Donut Plains, Chocolate Islands, Vanilla Domes, and Butter Bridges of what would be adapted into Super Mario World for the SNES.

[taliabhattwrites]

Saying that "Transmisogyny is Misandry" is an act of epistemic violence. Stop it.

The following is a section of my essay The Question Has An Answer, entitled "The Measure of a Misandrist"

This is, ultimately, where most critiques of radical feminism go wrong, even when supposedly made with trans women’s vilification in mind. It is a too-popular idea that radical feminism was too harsh, too critical and too antagonistic towards men. After all—goes the reasoning—is not the fixation on trans women, the denial of our womanhood, and the maligning of us as ontologically predatory a consequence of their gender-absolutism? Is not resorting to ‘misandry’ in response to society’s misogyny also wrong?

Such arguments fail to be compelling for two reasons, the first of which should be obvious: transmisogyny is not misandry. The transmisogynist does not treat trans women the way she treats men, even if she refers to a trans woman as a man in the process of degendering her. Even if a transmisogynist bears an authentic antipathy for men, there is a crucial difference in how she regards trans women: namely, as an acceptable target of misogynistic degradation. Trans women’s bodies are dissected and scrutinized, our behavior pathologized and sexualized, and our own testimony discarded as unreliable, insubstantial, and immaterial. We are dehumanized, third-sexed, and branded permissible targets for ritualistic, collective, and sexualized punishment. A fate that even queer men tend to be spared.

Secondly and perhaps more importantly: the ‘misandry’ of the average transmisogynistic feminist is greatly overstated.

Trivially, we can note how the modern Gender-Conservative movement is full of men and the women who gleefully encourage their violence against trans people, a modern incarnation that bears the most threadbare of claims to any feminist tradition. They are, more than anything, a project concerned with the obfuscation of the term ‘feminist’, so that staunchly patriarchal ideologues can claim the label simply for promulgating transmisogynistic rhetoric. The face of modern transphobia is a far-flung cry from the academic lesbian feminists of yore, and is these days definitively male. Men abound at transphobic rallies, threaten to follow trans women into bathrooms to beat them, and call for the abolition of transition care in publications the world over.

Is such an answer evasive, though? Surely conservative men’s transmisogyny is a mainstream discursive force now, but was not the second wave chock-full of misandrist lesbian feminists aiming their ire at trans women? Can we not draw a line from their extremism to modern antifeminist backlash?

To get to the heart of that matter, we have to recall a little history.

April, 1973. The West Coast Lesbian Conference was, at that point, the largest gathering of lesbian feminists to date. Beth Elliot, a trans lesbian folk singer and feminist activist had been on the organizing committee for the event and was also scheduled to perform on opening night. Her fellow LA organizers had, in fact, insisted upon it.

When she took the stage at 9 p.m., she was accosted by two women, one of whom snatched the mic away to scream that Beth was a “transsexual” and a “rapist”, and demanded that she be ejected. In the ensuing chaos, a few organizers took the initiative to hold a vote (or, two, by some accounts), allowing the assembled audience to decide on Beth’s inclusion. The vote passed—by a slim majority, in some accounts, or by an overwhelming two-thirds majority, in some others—and so a visibly shaken Beth Elliot, with the support of her sisters, gave a short performance before promptly leaving.

Robin Morgan, who was scheduled to give a keynote speech on the theme of ‘unity’ the following day, spent the night editing her address. Rather than speaking for forty-five minutes, Morgan spent twice that time on a meandering screed “attacking everything in sight”, per Pat Buchanan—the conference organizers, women who work with men, and of course, transsexuals, blaming the continuing ills of patriarchy on a lack of feminist consciousness. Her caustic rhetoric shifted the entire tone and mood of the conference, forefronting the issue of biodestined womanhood. The Black Women’s Caucus, who had prepared a position paper on Black feminist organizing and the relevance of race to their struggle, are often omitted entirely from accounts of the conference, in large part due to Morgan’s troonmadness sucking up all the oxygen.

While some of the facts surrounding this incident are disputed, we know that Morgan’s invective was circulated amongst lesbian feminists, drawing attention to the topic of transsexual inclusion. Her charges that Beth Elliot was an “infiltrator” and “rapist” accrued sufficient cachet to get Beth blacklisted from feminist publications and music scenes. Despite a measure of personal support, Beth withdrew from the public eye, and Morgan’s bilious language found itself echoed in 1979’s Transsexual Empire, this time levied at Sandy Stone.

In some sense, Robin Morgan, Sister Raymond, and their ilk set the discursive tone on translesbophobia. While 1960’s Psycho attests that the idea of the deceptive, cross-dressing predator already held some sway in the cultural psychosexual imaginary, Morgan and Raymond—clumsily and soporifically—elevated that hateful trope to the status of “feminist concern”. They provided a framework and legitimacy to complement the sexologists’ pathologization of the “homosexual transsexual”, transmuting the cultural idea of the tranny from a pitiable, somewhat tragic figure, to a rapacious and monstrous one. Although coercion through deceptive seduction had always been core to the mythology of transsexuality, Morgan and Raymond enabled eradicationist sentiment towards trans women as a whole to be imbued with a certain feminist authority, recasting it as almost righteous.

We were, in the truest sense of the term, constructed, remade as biotechnological horrors seeking to traverse, fresh and bloody, from the scalpel to the women’s bathroom.

Given the centrality of that hastily-rewritten keynote speech to modern transmisogynistic propaganda, Morgan’s awareness of its discursive relevance is fascinating to witness. As Finn Enke notes in Collective Memory and the Transfeminist 1970s, when Morgan published her own account in 1977, her comments from the 1973 speech condemning the organizers for “inviting” Beth Elliot are omitted entirely. Morgan deliberately edited the speech to extend her critique of transsexuals and Beth Elliot specifically, dubbing them “gatecrashers” who sought to undermine and destroy the feminist movement from within. She consciously chose to erase Beth’s involvement in organizing the event, in addition to eliding that the majority of second-wave lesbian feminists present chose to defend and protect her.

Perhaps the most telling omission in subsequent accounts of this speech is an interesting detail about Morgan herself. Once she was done berating “women who work with men”, Morgan launched an impassioned defense of her husband. Before she derided Beth Elliot as a “male gatecrasher” with no place in lesbian feminism, Morgan advocated for her male husband’s place in lesbian feminism, on the grounds that he was a “feminist”, a “feminine man”, and—I still cannot help but marvel at this term whenever I encounter it—an “effeminist faggot”.

Seriously.

It is impossible to overstate just how utterly pathetic this pantomime of radicalism is. Morgan sublimated her own sexual and gendered anxieties into unrestrained transmisogyny, as many people often do, seeking to secure her own place as a lesbian by defining her legitimacy against the seeming illegitimacy of an “outsider”. Her arguments for doing so hinged on staining transsexual womanhood with the original sin of reproducing manhood, even as she pleaded the case that her husband, through his proximity to the feminine, had successfully absolved his own! Morgan’s audacity and insecurity drips off the page, revealing her charade to be nothing more than a performative, incoherent, inconsistent, bigoted farce.

Additionally, this revelation demonstrates how even here, in the holy of holies, at the epicenter of lesbian-feminist transmisogyny, misandry could hardly be claimed as a motivation. Beth Elliot was condemned for her transsexuality. Her putative ‘manhood’ was invoked only to degender and dehumanize her, while the avowed transmisogynist slurring her asked for the inclusion of men in the same breath!

Nor should we discount those who stood by Beth Elliot and Sandy Stone, even if their efforts were ignored, silenced, and erased. Enke’s paper meditates on a photograph of Beth on stage, framed to depict her alone, isolated, besieged. The woman holding Beth’s hand is left just out of the picture.

Meanwhile, for all their condemnation of trans lesbians’ “male energy”, the transmisogynists who so revile trans women’s “manhood” had no compunctions when it came to allying with the “male institutions” that have surveilled us, vilified us, marginalized us, and tried to erase our very stories, our connections, our sisterhood from history. Even the scraps that remain cannot escape reframing, rewriting, revisionism that insists: you were always unwanted, and stood apart.

Except when we weren’t, and didn’t.

[hyuniemyunie]

sleeping with hyun-ju ☆ミ

gn!reader x cho hyun-ju

sfw

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(ФωФ): no tws! just pure fluff and cuddling<3 established relationships, after the game, FUCK THAT PLACE.

id love to hear your requests if you have any!

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･

hyun-ju was just..staring at the elevator floor, her eyes zoned out and her mind elsewhere. she was nervous.

it was her first time going to a partners house after starting her transition, and she didnt know how to act. what was she supposed to do? how was she supposed to act..?

her thoughts were interrupted by you nudging your pinky finger against hers, looking up at her with an amused smile

"you okay?"

she shook her head a little, her eyes focusing on you. she nodded, a stiff smile on her face

"yeah, yeah..im okay."

you huffed out a laugh, taking her hand in yours. you lifted her hand up, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the back of it.

"you got any bad sleeping habits i should know about?"

hyun-ju let out a soft chuckle as you kissed her hand, a pleasant shiver running down her spine at the gentle touch. she stepped outside the elevator, the doors sliding closed behind them with a soft whoosh. she considered your question, a thoughtful look on her face.

"i tend to sleep lightly, so sudden movements might startle me. and im used to having a strict schedule, so I might be a bit... particular about meal times and bedtimes at first."

she paused, thinking for a moment longer. "oh, and I have a habit of waking up early, like ridiculously early. like, before the sun early. I'll try to keep the noise down, but no promises."

hyun-ju glance down the hallway before turning back to you with a soft smile. you returned it, reaching into your pocket to take out your keys. you unlocked the door with a soft "click!", stepping inside. you leaned down, taking your shoes off and kicking them..somewhere, the shoes didnt really matter when you had a beautiful woman at your place.

hyun-ju followed you into the apartment, shrugging off her beige jacket and draping it over the back of the couch. she took a moment to look around, taking in the comfortable, lived-in feel of the space. it was so different from the places she was used to, but somehow, it felt welcoming and warm.

"its nice," she said softly, meaning it. she kicked off her own shoes and set them neatly by the door, unlike you. as she stepped further into the apartment, she noticed the soft lighting, the plush furniture, the personal touches scattered throughout.

hyun-ju felt a flicker of nerves again, suddenly self-conscious about her own appearance and background. she was a far cry from the typical girlfriend material you probably dated. but as she looked around the cozy space, she felt a sense of belonging begin to take root, maybe you'll both make it work out..

"so, wheres your room?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light and casual. "i should probably... unpack my bag." she gestured vaguely to the duffel bag slung over her shoulder, kinda the only possession she had left after everything else had been taken from her.

as you were in the middle of taking your jacket off, you pointed towards your room, tilting your head towards it.

hyun-ju nodded, making her way down the hallway. she paused outside the door you had indicated, taking a deep breath before pushing it open. the room was simply furnished, with a bed, a dresser, and a small desk, and your own little personal touches to it. it was clean and tidy, just how she liked it.

she set her bag down on the bed and unzipped it, pulling out the single change of clothes. It was a simple outfit, a soft pastel blue sweater and a pair of comfortable pants. nothing fancy, but warm and practical for a night in.

as she changed out of her jeans and black shirt, hyun-ju caught sight of herself in the mirror on the closet door. she paused, looking at her reflection critically. she could still see the remnants of her military bearing, the lean muscle and the hard edges. but there was a softness to her now too, a vulnerability that she had never allowed herself to show before. all the compliments youve showered her with before flooded her mind, making her feel..a little better about herself.

with a small sigh, she finished dressing and made her way back out to the living room. she found you sprawled out on the couch, looking incredibly comfortable and at home. for a moment, hyun-ju felt a pang of..envy. she had never had a space like this, a place where she could truly relax and be herself.

but as she approached the couch, she felt a sense of belonging begin to take hold. this was your space, but somehow, it felt like it could be hers too. at least for tonight.

"is this okay?" she asked softly, hovering uncertainly by the couch. "im not sure ive ever..done this before." she bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy and unsure.

"of course its okay!" you answered happily, scooting over to make room for hyun-ju, letting her sit down next to you. you took a moment to look at her face, the light of the tv illuminating her already beautiful face. was it possible for someone to look this gorgeous? if not, hyun-ju made it possible.

she hesitated for a moment before sinking down onto the couch beside you, the soft cushions molding to her body in a way that made her sigh with reluctant pleasure. as you pulled her closer, resting your head on her shoulder, she felt a wave of warmth wash over her, a sense of rightness that made her heart ache.

she wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you close as she settled back against the couch. It was a foreign sensation, being this close to someone, allowing herself to be vulnerable. but with you, it felt... natural. comfortable.

you let out a soft sigh, leaning into her touch. "this is nice.."

"Mm, it is," hyun-ju murmured softly, tilting her head to rest atop yours as you two watched the drama unfold on the tv screen. the dialogue washed over her, the korean words familiar but the context new. she found herself more focused on the feeling of your body pressed against her own, the gentle rise and fall of your breath, the softness of your hair beneath her cheek.

as the episode went on, hyun-ju felt her eyelids growing heavy. the events of the past few days caught up with her, the adrenaline that had been keeping her going fading away. she blinked slowly, fighting to stay awake, but it was a losing battle.

"love.." she murmured, her voice slurring slightly with exhaustion. "i think...i think I might fall asleep." she knew she should keep watching, should stay awake and keep you company. but her body had other plans.

she tightened her arm around your waist, holding you close as the TV flickered in front of them. "dont let me... snore too loud," she mumbled, already feeling herself drifting off, safe and warm in your embrace.

she let out a soft, sleepy murmur as you pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. she felt herself being maneuvered, her head coming to rest on the softness of your lower stomach as she was pulled to lay partially on top of you.

she nuzzled instinctively into the warmth of your stomach, her eyelids drooping as she felt your fingers threading gently through her short hair. the touch was soothing, comforting, and it made hyun-ju feel a rush of emotions she couldnt quite name. she had never been cared for like this before, never been held and comforted with such tenderness.

"Mm... thank you," she whispered, her voice muffled against your shirt. she knew her words were slurred, her mind hazy with exhaustion and a strange, warm feeling she couldn't quite comprehend

ss sleep claimed her, hyun-ju let herself sink into the comfort of your embrace, feeling safe and wanted in a way she never had before. she stirred softly as she felt herself being gently lifted and moved, her head coming to rest on a soft, warm pillow, aka your chest. she nuzzled instinctively into the comfortable surface, her sleep-addled brain registering the change in position but not quite waking her. as she drifted on the edge of sleep, she felt strong arms wrap around her, holding her close and pulling her snug against a warm, soft body.

in her half-asleep state, hyun-ju's instincts took over, and she melted into the embrace, her own arms coming up to wrap around the person holding her. she burrowed deeper into the comforting warmth, a soft sigh of contentment escaping her lips. it was a peaceful, safe feeling.

as the night deepened and the world outside fell silent, hyun-ju and her partner remained entwined on the couch, their breathing falling into a slow, synchronized rhythm. the soft glow of the TV cast a gentle, flickering light over their still forms, illuminating the intimate embrace they shared.

hyun-ju's head rested on the crook of your shoulder, her face nestled against your neck. her arm lay draped across your stomach, while your arm wrapped protectively around hyun-ju's waist, holding her close. you fit together like two puzzle pieces, bodies molding to each other as if they were made to be this way.

as the hours passed, the first light of dawn began to creep in through the windows, casting a soft, warm glow over the sleeping couple. it illuminated the gentle rise and fall of their chests, the soft, peaceful expressions on their faces. in sleep, they looked younger, softer, the weight of the traumatic experiences they had endured lifted from their shoulders.

hyun-ju stirred first, her brow furrowing slightly as she surfaced from the deep sleep that had claimed her. she blinked slowly, her eyes adjusting to the soft morning light. as she became more aware of her surroundings, she realized she was still cradled in her partners arms, her head resting on a soft chest, their legs tangled together beneath a soft blanket that had been draped over them sometime during the night.

a soft, sleepy smile tugged at the corners of hyun-ju's mouth as she took in the peaceful, content expression on your face. you looked so beautiful, so serene in sleep.

'"nnh.." you stirred slightly, groaning in your sleep as you let out some incoherent sleepy mumbles, pulling hyun-ju closer, needing to feel her close, needing to know that this was actually real.

her heart melted at the sleepy, incoherent mumblings. she felt your arms tighten around her, strong and secure, pulling her even closer until she was nestled completely against your body.

sensing your need for comfort and closeness even in sleep, hyun-ju tightened her own grip around your waist, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to the sensitive skin just below your ear. she nuzzled her nose against your neck, breathing in the comforting, familiar scent of your sleep-warmed skin.

"Shh, it's okay," she murmured softly, her voice low and soothing. "I've got you, sweetheart. you're safe with me." she started to gently rub your back in slow, soothing circles, trying to ease any lingering tension or unease.

hyun-ju knew she should likely wake you, but seeing you so peaceful and content, she couldn't bring herself to disturb her. Instead, she settled in more comfortably, letting her own eyes drift shut as she matched her breathing to yours once more.

"mmh..hyun-juuu.."

you mumbled in your sleep, reaching out for her.

she smiled softly at the sleepy mumble of her name. "Shh, I'm here," hyun-ju whispered, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck as she spoke. she tightened her embrace, holding you even closer, molding your bodies together until not an inch of space remained between you.

hyun-ju's hand continued its gentle, soothing path along your back, now tracing random patterns on the soft fabric of her shirt. she wanted to comfort, to reassure, to let you know that you were safe and protected in her arms.

"rest now, my love," she murmured, the endearment slipping from her lips like a soft sigh. "I'll be right here when you wake, I promise." she peppered gentle kisses along your jawline, your cheek, your forehead, the tip of your nose..

hyun-ju's fingers drifted up to comb gently through the sleep-tousled hair at your nape, savoring the silky texture. she marveled at the trust you placed in her, to sleep so deeply, so completely in her arms. It was a gift, a precious treasure that hyun-ju vowed to cherish and protect.

drawing the blanket more snugly around them, hyun-ju settled in, her own eyes growing heavy once more. she let herself drift, not quite sleeping but not quite awake, content to simply hold and be held, to bask in the warmth and closeness of the moment.

If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up.

[tirfpikachu]

are we just crazy or are lgbt spaces getting legit deranged?????

every unusual experience of sexuality/gender is a valid part of the bootiful qweer biodiversity of the world by default, but you can't be gay/bi/trans and not want to be called the q slur or see cishets say the q slur. and you can't say that you're afab4afab or amab4amab, that's just a creepy bigoted fetish you freak. unless you're transmasc4transmasc or transfem4transfem ofc, you get a free pass. but also kinkshaming is evil and deeply harms the most marginalized. but also make sure you don't have a fetish about genitalia... if you do, it's a "preference" not an inborn trait and you really can therapize yourself into liking it, just try hard enough. if you fail to you're a bigot, so just keep trying!! make sure to feel guilty abt it at least, you dirty homo. but getting beat up can be a cool sexual thing and bestiality or noncon is fine. but actual genitalia "preferences" are bigoted. if you don't call the genderqueer person pansexual instead of bi they'll chew their own arm off and hit you with it and call the cops but don't say you're a female trans man or that you're a trans guy lesbian or link it to being a female homosexual in any way ever okay?! you can't be at peace with acknowledging your sex/agab as a trans person!!!! or feel a connection to lesbian spaces as a trans man or gay male spaces as a trans woman!!! that's BIGOTRY and that's just feeding terf cunts you dumb theyfab. you can't link your cis womanhood to being afab AT ALL either bc that's transmisogynistic and dangerous rhetoric but every other group of gender marginalized folks can define their own identities and have a billion microlabels. you can't say you're not into girldick because not all trans women have dicks dumbass, surgical vaginas are defo the exact same as bio vaginas anyway so if you only like afab pussy & afab bodies you're a gross pervert mocking bottom surgery. and someone's upbringing as a male/amab or female/afab person definitely isn't a huge part of why homosexual ppl are into the same-sex/agab so you shouldn't give a single shit if a transbian flirting with you hasn't grown up facing misogyny or going thru afab/female body struggles or any of that, that has NOTHING to do with lesbianism between female ppl and has no bearing whatsoever on attraction you absolute psychopath. sexes/agabs is just a mix of detached body parts and you can play mr potatohead with it all and if you glued it good enough homosexuals wouldn't be able to tell at all that he used to be a mrs potatohead!! so they'd still hit that, right? homosexuals will go for anything anyway right?? homosexual love obvs can't be any deeper than genitals and fetishes. amab4afab ppl can be homosexual too anyway if they pass as gay irl too so homosexual isn't even a real tangible thing anyways it doesn't involve sex/agab at all and those ppl don't get to be their own specific oppressed class and do their own activism and have agency over their own identity bc they're super privileged worldwide and the enby living as a gender conforming woman in society dating a neckbeard looking for a third is more oppressed than a visibly gnc crossdressing bio guy holding hands with his normie bf. they might be gay but they're not qweer... except to the rightwing ofc!! oh and if you're trans and recently started passing as straight you're more privileged than an afab4amab couple who has lived as hetero til they transitioned! so shut the fuck up and listen to the New Gays. don't call yourself homosexual anymore or you're a cis bootlicker and if you're transmasc you're oppressing every transfem, including ones who have never faced misogyny irl a day in their fucking life!!! just be valid the RIGHT WAY!!!!!! be more queer you dirty normie homo!!!!!!

HAHAH i love it here

[lesbianabril]

Here's my fantasy post-btvs/angel world where no one died and the comics never happened

Buffy still fights against the forces of darkness but, since she's not the only slayer anymore, she's allowed to take breaks and not deal with every apocalypse by herself. She also gets paid monthly, along with all the new slayers.

Dawn went to study abroad and is now head of the new and reformed watchers council, where she works with Giles and Andrew delivering missions to the different slayers.

Also Dawn came out as a lesbian during college, and Tara was the first person she told.

Buffy and Spike are together, taking things slow and talking every step of the way (think their relationship in season 10 and 11, that's the only thing i can accept as canon from the mess that were the comics).

Spike works along with Buffy, they patrol together, and he still meets up with Clem for kitten poker (although he can't bear to eat the kittens when he wins)

Faith and Buffy have become really good friends, they're the only ones who know what being a slayer was before when there was only one, and they've bonded over their experiences and now get together quite often for coffee. Faith also works as a slayer so sometimes they go on missions together.

Tara and Willow live in a lovely cottage in the countryside and still help out on the fight whenever needed. Most of the time they sell potions and spells-in-a-bottle to the slayers.

Oz transitioned and now she and her new girlfriend are invited over to Willow and Tara's house every week for dinner and board games.

Anya now runs her own magic shop in L.A. She's going on dates but is mostly enjoying her independence. She's still in touch with the scooby gang but she has also made new friends in L.A.

Season 4 and 5 of Angel never happened so Cordelia, Fred and Wesley are alive and still working for Angel Investigations along with Gunn and Lorne.

Angel got to raise Connor since he was a baby with the help of his team, and Connor grew up surrounded by love

Cordelia and Anya reunite in L.A. and get together for drinks quite often to bitch about life for a few hours.

Harmony is thriving. So is drusilla.

I don't care how Xander is doing.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Seeing this just proves they've been planning for Jessie is to Richie as Sydney is to Carmy since the beginning.

Oh, no—The Bear doesn't do romance. They weren't thinking about writing a ship for Jessie and Richie or Sydney and Carmy-

This was a seed planted, and if they've been planting this, they've been planting Carmy's love story, too.

I remember Richie fans on Reddit going crazy about Jessie’s return; they enjoyed the looks she gave Richie in her first episode. (We can’t enjoy the looks Carmy gives Sydney without an argument, but I digress.)

Because it is that kind of show, and I stick by this. Richie and Carmy's obstacle is finding love outside of work.

In the first season Richie talks about a beautiful date he had (while Carmy is tasting Sydney's food for the first time). A few episodes later, we witness Richie's struggling love life in 1x06.

Ceres is an episode that shows us, in Richie and Carmy's interactions, why they can't move on and live. Richie couldn't connect with his date because she couldn't connect with the past or tradition. Comparing Carmy, he has difficulty moving forward with Sydney; he's open to something outside of tradition, or so he claims, then tells Sydney he's not ready (for a relationship). Amongst being stuck on the past, Richie and Carmy also can't get to their ending "because they're afraid of something good happening because something bad's gonna happen"

But by the end of the first season, Carmy can finally move forward with Sydney, and Richie can apologize to Tiffany. Notice that the one phone call he wants to make is not for Tiffany to receive bad, heavy news that he's in jail, but for him to apologize and move forward. So season 1 ends with a 'these two are ready to heal'.

For season 2, it's a more obvious mirror—I can't find my other meta, but I'll do a quick comparison here. Richie and Carmy are discussing life. Richie needs purpose, and Carmy needs fun—at least that's what they think needs to happen for their lives to be better.

Since Richie and Carmy are almost mirrors to each other, as they end the conversation on life, we get pictures of Claire and Tiffany. This season, Richie and Carmy have to once again dive deeper into the past in order to get their love story.

Claire/ Tiffany- The Past Loves

Notice that when Tiffany is mentioned, Claire is throughout the scene, but even if Claire isn't in the scene, we transition the subject between these two because Tiffany(EX) is to Richie as Claire(Ex-Crush) is to Carmy.

For example, when Richie sees Claire, he mentions Frank, connecting and associating Claire with Tiffany.

2x06-Just as Richie tells Carmy they will continue talking about Claire, we instantly get to the next scene, which features Tiffany and Richie discussing Claire.

Another comparison: The painful "I love you" over the phone.

Claire and Tiffany are part of Carmy and Richie's past, and they don't know who the two are becoming. Following Mikey’s death, Richie and Carmy are actively searching to figure out what life could be and the story will more than likely conclude with Carmy and Richie discovering inspiration and letting go of feelings that they missed out on the good experiences.

Because the good is still in front of them:

Sydney/Jessie- The inspiration

Comparisons: Jessie and Sydney find inspiration in their work, caring for others, and spreading positivity. In Children, they bring a fresh perspective to Richie and Carmy's lives during a time of grief. Carmy and Richie are devastated by Ever's death, while Sydney and Jessie maintain an optimistic outlook. Sydney acknowledges how special Ever was and believes that simply being there was meaningful. Meanwhile, Jessie reminds Richie that good things aren't all gone, a throwback to 1x06, where Carmy and Richie can't name what it is when they dread the bad happening. Jessie and Sydney handle bad things with a glimmer of hope.

Throughout the seasons, we have been shown the importance of surrounding ourselves with those who inspire us. Chef Terry and Mikey, as well as Jessie and Sydney, who work in the industry and draw motivation from the people around them, emphasize this theme. Richiee and Carmy will also find inspiration in Jessie and Sydney's presence.

No, you got it wrong Jessie and Sydney is just a tale of co workers-

NOPE!

What do we get throughout the show? Richie and Carmy mourning their best friend's death, trying to find inspiration, purpose, and fun. Richie telling Carmy to date Claire (Richie sees love as a good thing- but this isn't a love story? Sure).

How I know it's a love story: Richie deals with loneliness, while Carmy has always been alone and it is a thing between him and Sydney to never leave each other alone and that's one of his obstacles. Richie makes a dig at Carmy for not having a family. Richie tells Carmy to have an open heart and mind. Carmy wondered "What's fun" and instantly associated it with having fun outside of work with someone.

In Season 4, there's an event that people tend to look forward to and are almost forced to see the positive, and weddings tend to do that. We'll have the opportunity to enjoy quality alone time with Jessie and Richie, Carmy and Sydney under the pretense of seeking inspiration.

I stand by it. Even after the show is over I'll always remember..

[ysaefinn]

Just binged your Suguru and I’m clawing at the walls!! Where have you been all my life??? He’s so…. I will be devoting all my night time imagining to your Suguru.

So… speaking as a type A, “i can do it myself”, type of person, would you be able to expand a little on doting Suguru? Like, how does he react to a reader that can care for others but believes in “walking it off”— someone who is all smiles and “don’t worry about me”s and tells little lies so that the people around her don’t worry.

If you’d like to🫣🤗

Hello darling!!!! Im so so so so so sooooo happy that reading from my blog made this happy. Truly i can't explain how much love i have for you for giving me a chance 🥹🥹

I wish you only the sweetest of dreams after you doze off from your nightly sugu day dream session my dear 🩷🩷

Im so so so so so happy you said this omg you should've seen the evil ass grin on my face when i finished reading 😭😭 bcuz this is actually me in a nutshell and my obsession with the the doting suguru agenda stems from exactly that.

Let me start of by saying that suguru understands your need to care for others, and he LOVES this quality about you. He admires you to no end, he's so so so so so so so fond of sweet helpful people, and honestly i believe he would find it much easier to trust and open up to someone like this bcuz he can relate to them a lot better.

That being said, suguru will absolutely not be falling for any of that bullshit 💀 you're little attempts to brush your discomfort under the rug will not go unnoticed by him, he knows you like the back of his hand, one look at your face is enough to see that you are indeed not ok.

As previously mentioned he loves you for who you are but he will definitely be trying to change it 😭😭 he will absolutely NOT stand for his baby hurting themselves for the sake of others (especially if it's cult!suguru oh my god that man has no regard for anything that isn't you) so you WILL be having that uncomfortable conversation he knows you are trying to avoid (maybe I'm projecting here), he can be very direct when he recognizes that you need something, he knows how hard it is to change the way you perceive others and how you act around them, but he knows you need this so he'll do it for you, anything suguru does is for your own good don't forget that!!!! And ok, fine, call him selfish, but what if he thinks the time you spend taking care of others is better spent being taken care of by him?? You're not helping by refusing to let him help you either. He will actually lose his mind if you continue to torture him like this 😭😭 of course he would be a lot more insistent when you both begin to officially date. Pre-relationship suguru knows he can only intervene so much. His ass is chewing the bars of his cage like a feral dog 💀

Anyway!! If speaking to you doesn't work, he's going to resort to inserting himself in literally everything you do until you eventually learn to just expect him to be there. He's cooking for you, hand feeding you, tieing your show laces, doing your skin care bathing you, brushing your hair, making your coffee in the morning, doing your laundry, before you can do any of it, you could be in the middle of something and he just...STOPS YOU AND TAKES OVER!!! the whole mother package pretty much, he basically drops you head first into domesticity (borderline codependency 😭😭 ) and you have no say in the matter.

The transition might be weird and awkward, and you might try to fight him but all you'll be getting back is a sickening sweet coo, "awh baby....just let me take care of you" while enveloping your entire body with his arms in one of his suffocating bear hugs then leaves you with a kiss on the top of your head to go back to cooking <- evil man with terrible intentions of making you depend on him forever.

[vadersassistant]

Dating My Adventures With Superman's Clark! (Headcannons)

Gender neutral headcannons to keep us alive and thriving will I write up a much longer fic.

Clark's most prominent love language is acts of service.

If he's out early saving the city, he'll text you a good morning with an update about his whereabouts. If not, he's your ride to work, and loves taking you above the clouds to watch the sunrise on the way.

He always get your coffee/tea and breakfast from your favorite cafe. Flies into your apartment and drops it off on the nightstand as quiet as possible so not to disturb you. On the days he's not busy fighting crime he likes to make you breakfast to wake up to, although its rare.

He also takes it upon himself to have a note in his phone or list in his apartment with all of your food orders and favorite things.

While he's out casually patrolling he has a habit of taking photos of things that remind him of you.

Dates are rare for you two, and you've mutually agreed there's no hard feelings on that. It's the little things like sharing a meal together or even just working on articles together that he tries to prioritize, and sometimes he'll fly you both over to his parent's home for dinner just to get out of the city.

Cuddling? He's an expert.

The best big spoon you have ever met. Clark loves pulling you in close to his chest and rests his head in the crook of your neck. When you're facing him, he always has a habit of memorizing your facial features, running a hand through your hair and making sure you're warm.

Out flying late at night or early in the morning when it's cold? Clark always wraps his cape around you, or gives you his jacket. His arms are just as good though, and his first priority is your comfort. He's always worried about squeezing you too hard, but sometimes he can't help it. Especially after big events or fights, holding onto you is a must.

At the beginning of your relationship Clark was incredibly cautious about physical touch. He would ask to kiss you, visibly tense when thinking of touching you, and was shy as all get out. The thought of making you uncomfortable or hurting you lingered far too much for his own good until you two talked it out, and soon enough holding hands transitioned into hugs from behind and soft kisses on your neck.

He's a big fan of forehead kisses too. Just hugged? Forehead kiss. Dropped off breakfast for you while you're still asleep? Forehead kiss. About to go save the city? Forehead kiss.

The best protective teddy bear.

Clark is incredibly understanding, however, he feels it's his duty to take care of you as your boyfriend, and will ensure you eat, sleep, and are both physically and mentally well at all times.

Even if you don't think he's listening, he pays attention, and takes note of your habits to ensure you're not backtracking or hurting yourself.

As someone who has been rejected by the world for his differences he is incredibly supportive of yours and wants to help you in anyway he can, whether that's helping you be organized, reminding you of things, calming you done, etc.

PLEASE REQUEST MORE SUPERMAN FICS/HEADCANNONS!!

[so-i-did-this-thing]

For the evening crowd. Chapter two worked itself out faster than I thought, ha ha. So, here's the entire thing. The Arrow Collar Man is a throwaway reference, but I highly encourage you image search for more, because oh my goodness.

This fic is also sort of a bridge between book!Siegfried's temper and 2020!Siegfried's. The new show does a lot to soften him over time into a family man (which I love), whilst he is bachelor in the books (I can't remember if he eventually marries).

I like to think he needs a partner to really bring out the best in him, and think that Evelyn got him to a good point, but then he relapsed after her death.

Some load-bearing smut, indeed.

Cat and Bird

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64732159/chapters/166321795

Summary:

A small porcelain cat reminds Siegfried of an unforgettable early date with Evelyn that should have been disastrous, but ended up anything but.

Notes:

Setting notes: ACGAS 2020 TV series, only Siegfried is a stealth trans man. We'll fudge dates for medical transition being possible and move it earlier in history, as a treat. See my other ACGAS fics for more trans!Siegfried, they do build slightly upon each other. Tone notes: Explicit, humorous & affirming smut. Worth reiterating that I myself am a trans man. There is a brief dysphoria panic attack and I don't shy away from describing trans body parts. Spicy stuff in chapter 2. Chapter 1 can be seen as relatively self-contained, though, if you want to stop there.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

One show ends this week, but there are several more on the way, including a surprising adaptation. Of the six shows airing now, five are streaming weekly on Gaga and the other is available via fansub.

Takara's Treasure

I. LOVE. THEM. Their little bird watching date was precious and I loved every moment of it, including Taishin's adorable outfit and over preparedness, Takara's secret smiles, and the patient search for the wallet. I was so relieved that Taishin named his fears about them not being suited upfront instead of letting it grow into a huge anxiety in his own head, and I was also happy Takara was eager to speak with him about his impending relocation. That said, NOOOOOOOO I don't want a forced separation and time skip, show. Please I am begging.

Cosmetic Playlover

This was my favorite week for this show by far, because they actually let us see the relationship at its center! I enjoyed finally spending some time with these two as a couple, though I still find the timing and sequencing of these plots confusing as hell. Last week Sahashi gave Mamiya keys to his place and it was implied they'd been dating for quite awhile and were already serious, but this week we learn Mamiya has never spent the night and they are only just having sex for the first time. It was a real record scratch for me; I can't get my bearings in this relationship trajectory with all the gaps in the story. But hey, at least they finally let them make out a little! For a show that sold itself as toxic sexy, there has been very little toxicity or sex, tbh.

I Hear the Sunspot

*rubs temples* This show is really testing my patience. I got excited last week when Kohei and Taichi finally had a real conversation and it seemed like we were moving forward, but this week we're back to treading water. This story did not need 12 episodes; this pacing, while faithful to the manga as I understand it, does not work well for weekly live action. It's been weeks since we've learned anything new about these characters or advanced the central relationship, and the show continues to stumble with its confused depiction of Maya. I just want this show to pull together and finish strong, because I think a lot of this will be much more tolerable on a binge watch. For now I will just gaze at Kohei's beautiful smiling face and hope for a full recovery.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

I said last week that the show had gotten so muddled I didn't think they'd be able to end well, and even with those very low expectations this finale still managed to get underneath them. The last several episodes made a mess of the characters, the conflict, and the themes of the show, and to add insult to injury, they capped it all off with angle kisses, a time skip, and a bizarre sex negative ending that had our "boob monster" adult lesbian refusing to have sex with her girlfriend for over a year so she could "cherish" her before randomly kissing her at the office as if that was the important resolution we'd been waiting for. A truly horrid ending that ruined everything this show did so well in its early episodes. I don't understand!! Big sigh and fingers crossed for a decent sexy gl sometime in the near future.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I've just been beaming and staring into space for the last several minutes after finishing this episode. No matter what else happens in the shows, I love knowing I am always going to end my week in jql on a good note while this gem is airing. This week marked a transition point for Ishida and Mitsuya, as Ishida had a great conversation with Noguchi, found a new passion and put in for a job transfer, and had his final meeting and meal with Mitsuya as writer and editor. Which they immediately followed with a date and mutual acknowledgment of the feelings between them! And what a fantastic date it was, with every moment so invigorating and wonderfully adult. Mitsuya's quiet confidence and amusement at Ishida's nerves, Ishida's clarity on how he wants Mitsuya to see him, the mutual compliments and gestures and smiles and eye contact, ahhhhhhhhh. I also loved that Ishida got to be the one to show Mitsuya something new at the end, to get him to run with joy for the first time in ages and introduce him to a new food. I am so excited to see their dating era begin in earnest. You can find the episode with subtitles courtesy of @isaksbestpillow here.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[elminx]

Energy Update: May 2025

May is a "5" Universal Month [5 (May) + 9 (2025) = 14 = 1+4=5] in a "9" Universal Year. 5 is a conflict number, a turning point away from the comfort and security afforded by the number 4. This doesn't have to be a bad thing; it is merely a sign that the times are changing, which is also evident from the ongoing and intense transits we have been experiencing. We cannot live in the world as we did before the start of 2025; some things have fundamentally changed. We learn, and we adapt.

The Set Up

We begin May with the Sun and Uranus in Taurus, Mercury Venus and Neptune in Aries, Mars in Leo, Jupiter in Gemini, Saturn in Pisces, and Pluto in Aquarius. As of the beginning of the month, all planets are in prograde motion. The big news of the month is that slow-moving Saturn moves into Aries, but the Sun also enters Gemini, and Mercury enters Taurus and then Gemini later in the month. Additionally, Pluto will retrograde.

The Details

All eyes are on Saturn this month, which will be the final planet of the year to enter 00° Aries on 5/22. This is pretty big news bears, as Saturn hasn't been in Aries since 1998, twenty-seven years ago. Otherwise, the planets are functioning as normal for our mid-spring season.

Saturn

Saturn takes top billing this month as it enters Aries, the sign of its fall, for the first time in twenty-seven long years. Happy Saturn Return to all of you babies born between 4/6/96 and 6/8/98! (also 3/3/67-4/29/69)

I know the planetary dignities can be pretty confusing at first, but we say that a planet is in its fall when it is in the opposing sign to its exaltation, in this case, Libra. This implies that the natural energy of the planet (Saturn is slow and constrictive) is out of sync with the energy of the sign (Aries is fast and impulsive). Saturn is not at its best in Aries because it prefers a methodical approach, whereas Aries has zero chill. This impedes Saturn's normal processes; to properly harness Saturnian energy, a workaround must be found.

To understand this energy, we must consider that the nature of Aries and Saturn are nearly irrevocably at odds with one another.

Except for a brief sojourn back into Pisces from 8/31 to 2/13 of next year, Saturn will be in Aries until 4/12/28, so we will all need to adapt to this energy in some way. Aries wants to go and never stop; Saturn wants to restrict and refine, which can be (and generally is) an excruciatingly slow process.

In the best-case scenario, this means moving slowly and methodically, putting one foot in front of the other, and always moving towards a well-defined and thought-through goal.

For those who can't slow down and be accountable for their next steps, this likely means being thwarted at every turn.

Saturn rewards those who are accountable for their own lives, a quality that is often out of alignment with our current fast-paced, short-form culture. Saturn demands that what is worth doing is worth doing right.

There is no fuck around with Saturn; it is all finding out.

As I mentioned above, those born in the late 90s are about to undergo their first Saturn return, and those born in the late 60s are about to undergo their second. This is beyond the scope of this report, but if you'd like me to write more about the Saturn return, I can. What I will say is that it is wise to look at Saturn not just by sign (here Aries) but also by the house it resides in your chart and any aspects that it makes to your other planets. If you work planetary magic, remediation is recommended during this time.

This mantra is for you, Saturn return babies, but it also applies somewhat to all of us who have to live through the next three years of Saturn in Aries (especially anyone with a luminary or personal planet in Aries - look for the dates when Saturn will conjunct your planet NOW ahead of time): I do the work to further my own life.

Really, "I do the work to (insert what you need to here)."

Also, because Saturn is an impossibly hard taskmaster, it's okay not to do the work EVERY DAY. You need sweet, soft times, too. If you weren't at your best today, tomorrow is a brand-new day.

For those of us with a strong Aries presence in our charts, this transit may kick your ass at times. Remember, Saturn has a depressive effect on everything it touches.

Sometimes the work is finding the light in the darkness.

Our Luminaries: The Sun and the Moon

As the Sun moves through Taurus, it sextiles the North Node on 5/14 and conjuncts Uranus on 5/17. It sextiles Saturn on 5/20 and then Neptune on 5/22 after it has entered Gemini. We can view all of this as cleaning house; with no personal planet aspects in sight, this isn't personal. We've been in a period of intense change since early 2020, and, as expected, we are now experiencing the consequences of the last five years.

I would remind those reading this that it isn't personal, so please try not to take it personally. However, I also understand that when you are truly in it, you may not always have a choice in what you take personally.

However, I want to reiterate that what is happening astrologically this month is, overall, not a personal matter. Society is at a tipping point, but we don't yet know how all of this will spin out. We can ruminate over it, and we can catastrophize all we want, but until some of this clears up, there aren't any real actions to be taken or decisions to be made.

It's a challenging situation to be in.

Especially for people who crave action, the doers among us.

It's just where we are. Things are too new. There is a lot of intentional obfuscation and misinformation being circulated, and even those among us who have some insight may notice that things are somewhat obscured at the moment. (I'm looking at Neptune in Aries)

There isn't a lot going on, and things may remain unclear until 5/30 when the Sun conjuncts Mercury in prograde motion at 09° Gemini.

It is what it is. The space soup is murky, but we all still need to live in it.

Our 22° Scorpio Full Moon on 5/12 is a 1/6 Full Moon.

8 (Scorpio moon) + 2 (Taurus Sun) = 10 = 1+0 = 1. 1 (Scorpio full moon) + 5 (May 2025) = 6.

The Sun will be conjunct to Uranus during this lunar event, so expect some shake-ups and possibly some big reveals. It's not a particularly tight conjunction, so I wouldn't say that it's indicative of disasters, particularly. Instead, the Sun will be closely sextile to the North Node, and the Moon to the South, creating an energy akin to that of an eclipse, albeit outside of eclipse season. This heightens magical opportunities of all kinds, but with a hint of wild card energy that many will not enjoy.

Our 06° Gemini New Moon on 5/26 is a 6/2 new moon.

3 (Gemini moon) + 3 (Gemini Sun) = 6. 6 (Gemini new moon) + 5 (May 2025) = 11 = 1+1 = 2.

Note the double "6" energy of our full moon and our new moon. Six energy naturally follows five and tends to bring a sense of balance after the conflict. These lunations may serve as a reprieve within the conflict of our "5" month energy, offering a bit of relief.

The new moon will be loosely conjunct to Mercury in a sextile to Saturn and Neptune in Aries. It's not an excellent day for magic for these reasons. Geminis' carefree energy does not fare much better under Saturn's control than Aries's does.

Altogether, this month looks like a bit of a breather, but still like we may struggle to catch our breath, especially around 5/24-5/25 when Saturn enters Aries and Mercury enters Gemini. If you're looking to do magic this month, I would consider a supportive variety. While we sit in the time in between, we need nourishment and something to calm our nerves more than we need to rush ahead into the unresolved and the unknown.

Mercury

Now that Mercury has exited its post-retrograde shadow, they are moving fast to catch up with the Sun (which they will do on 5/30). In this way, we may all feel like we are playing a game of catch-up this month. And it's not just Mercury, either. Mars was retrograde from December to February, and Venus retrograded through March and April. This is the first month we've had all three personal planets in prograde motion all year long.

Things have been halted for so long that it may take a moment to regain our momentum.

On 5/5, Mercury in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Gemini, which is an opportunity. I'm not sure it's an opportunity I would take, but in all fairness, I am not the gambling type. These are our two planets of luck, but Jupiter is ill-placed in Gemini.

A pattern is starting to form here, one I will discuss over the next couple of months: we are witnessing a buildup of outer planets in the early degrees of the signs. Already, we see Neptune sitting at the beginning of Aries and Uranus at the beginning of Aquarius (roughly sextile to one another). As the moving planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars) change signs, they will begin to interact with this pileup of outerplanetary energy.

When Mercury enters Taurus on 5/10, they form a square to Pluto in Aquarius (and also a wide square to Mars in Leo, technically creating a wide fixed T-square). The Sun does this when it enters Gemini on 5/20, and Mercury will repeat this when it also enters Gemini on 5/25. This is a repeated connection point between the personal and the transpersonal. When repeated elements appear in our skies, we should all start paying attention. I will discuss this further as the year progresses.

Mercury in Taurus squares Mars in Leo on 5/18, which is probably the rough point, from a relational perspective, of the month. NBD most likely, but it smells of mild domestic troubles. Misunderstandings and miscommunications galore lead to fights. Being the person big enough to back down and bend rather than break is always the big flex when there's a fixed square in the skies.

Mercury conjuncts Uranus at 27° Taurus on Saturday, 5/24. Those of you who work with Mercury or have either planet prominently featured in your birth chart may wish to pay attention during this time. If Mercury is the thinking mind, we can see Uranus as the higher octave of Mercury; this is the genius mind—the mind of pure inspiration, the mind of connection to the beyond. I believe that Mercury is the only way that Uranus can be known to us mortals who walk this Earth. It is only through Mercury that Uranus can be understood, and then, only barely.

This is a powerful day to channel, to dream, to connect, and to divine - whatever that means to you.

Venus

Venus will be in Aries all month, sitting by herself in the sign of her exile. This isn't going to make life easier, but it is business as usual as Venus makes her way through every sign every year. Venus rules over Libra, the sign of relationships, and she is petulant and domineering in Libra's Sun Sign Opposite, Aries.

I'd tell you to try to be kind, but I don't think Venus in Aries has any kind left in her.

Again, this isn't particularly personal, even though she is a personal planet. We are all, collectively, out of spoons. Some people are reacting to this by engaging in alarming behavior, and the media is showcasing it on full display.

It is disheartening.

Disheartening might be Venus in Aries' middle name.

One of the deep mysteries of astrology is the cycle. And the expected result. Everything needs its time, and everything comes back around again. The horsocope holds within it all of the good and bad about humanity because it was created by us, for us.

Venus used to be a battle planet, and Aries is a battle sign. Pick your battles wisely, but remember to fight for what you believe in.

Mars

Mars, now in Leo, is way off ahead of the crowd and unaspected for the entire month other than its one square to Mercury in Taurus, which passes quickly. We need to be cautious about being overly egotistical and thinking that our story is more important than others', but otherwise, we don't need to worry about this planet this month.

Pluto

Pluto retrogrades this month, but, as our outermost dwarf planet, it is so far beyond the scope of humanity that this won't be much of a deal for most people. Those with personal planets or luminaries in the first degrees of Aquarius may notice some intensity as this transit happens, but it will pass quickly.

Looking Ahead

June appears to be a bit more intense, astrologically. We've got some significant planetary movement as all of our personal planets change signs: Mercury into Cancer, Venus into Taurus, and Mars into Virgo. Additionally, Jupiter finally moves into Cancer, significantly lightening the load. But, in doing so, it meets up in a cardinal square with Saturn in Aries, yet another hit on this ongoing story in early Aries. Stay tuned!

The details

5/2 - Venus conjunct Neptune 01° Aries, Mars exits its post-retrograde shadow 06° Aries 5/4 - Pluto retrogrades 03° Aquarius 5/5 - Mercury in Aries sextile Jupiter in Gemini 5/6 - Venus in Aries sextile retrograde Pluto in Aquarius 5/10 - Mercury enters Taurus 5/12 - Full Moon 22° Scorpio, Mercury in Taurus square Pluto in Aquarius 5/14 - Sun in Taurus sextile North Node 5/15 - Jupiter in Gemini square the lunar nodes in Pisces/Virgo (mutable t-square) 5/16 - Venus exits her post-retrograde shadow 10° Aries 5/17 - Sun conjunct Uranus 27° Taurus 5/18 - Mercury in Taurus square Mars in Leo 5/20 - Sun enters Gemini, Sun in Taurus sextile Saturn in Pisces 5/22 - Sun in Gemini sextile Neptune in Aries, Venus in Aries trine Mars in Leo 5/23 - Mercury in Taurus sextile North Node in Pisces 5/24 - Sun in Gemini trine retrograde Pluto in Aquarius, Mercury conjunct Uranus 27° Taurus, Saturn enters Aries 5/25 - Mercury enters Gemini, Mercury in Gemini sextile Saturn in Aries 5/26 - New moon 06° Gemini, Mercury in Gemini sextile Neptune in Aries 5/27 - Mercury in Gemini trine retrograde Pluto in Aquarius 5/30 - Sun conjunct Mercury 09° Gemini

Do you like my work? Ko-Fi.

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

Diego Brando x Reader in:

He Asked me to Stay

And I Stole His Room

Content PLZ READ: Established relationship, Married only in the public eye (at first), implied cheating, suggestive content, under the influence of Scary Monsters so he has some Primal Urges iykyk, but ends fluffily in weird Diego Brando fashion, reader and Diego are kinda both jerks, violence and gore talk

MDNI

Not explicit smut but features suggestive scenes, implications and dialogue

Starts headcanon style and evolves into a fic

-Relationship Headcanons:

What a gold digger.

He’s cute. Handsome, wealthy…and sure you knew he only wanted you for your money and renowned family name, but once you mentioned you knew what he was up to, he’s blunt with you.

Yeah, he does just want you for what he can get from you. But he reminds you of what he can give you in return. He likes money, he likes having that status and living the extravagant life…so he won’t be stingy with you if he were your husband. You want expensive clothes and jewels and carriages and horses? He’ll give them to you. He likes being rich, and spoiling his partner and watching them flaunt that wealth makes him feel rich.

You’ll be living right next to the spotlight constantly on Dio. Diego had just come in first on some prestigious race? The crowd disperses around him just enough for you to get through and give him a congratulatory kiss. Then he’d hold you close as you posed for a picture for the press. You’d smile and go along with it, a hand on his chest, but you weren’t really a fan of being so close when he was all sweaty after a race. Still, if his one expectation of you was to make him look good in public, you could grin and bear it. Especially since you knew he’d hand you a thick stack of cash if you asked while he was in a good mood.

Your marriage is not the most romantic and passionate at first, given it was much more of a mutually beneficial thing than a mutual attraction and affection thing.

When you look at him, you do find him attractive. Surprisingly soft, handsome features, paired with his small but lean build, and his hair always felt nice in the rare moments where you got to touch it. If he had nothing else that appealed to you, he was undeniably easy on the eyes.

He doesn’t care if you see anyone on the side, as long as you’re not getting spotted by any prominent newspapers. Play with whatever people you want, he’ll even pay for your dates on occasion if he’s feeling generous.

He doesn’t care if you want to sleep in two separate beds either; the two of you only have to keep up appearances in public.

He is a man, though. Sometimes he wants his spouse in bed with him.

-transitioning into fic:

(Timeline wise I guess it’s take place after the race, au where he survived but hasn’t accomplished his goals entirely.

First time he’s been around reader under the influence of Scary Monsters)

-The first few times he implied he was longing for you were quite memorable. He doesn’t usually pay you much attention when he gets home. You go about your normal evening schedule, reading on the sofa, not even bothering to look up when you hear the front door opening.

To your surprise he doesn’t head straight to the bedroom like he normally does. He’s just standing in the living room, watching you, even after he’s unbuttoned his jacket and hung it up.

“What are you staring at?” you didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly. You’re not even used to talking to him in the first place, let alone in a kind manner.

You feel his admittedly pretty eyes look you up and down. You imagine most of Diego’s fans wish they were you right now. Otherwise you don’t think much of it, just assuming he’s feeling especially irritating today.

He tilts his head. You feel his gaze right on your thighs. “I just never noticed how attractive your legs are.”

You have to look up at your book at that.

“What? What’s gotten into you?” you huff, assuming this is another one of his strange jokes.

He sits down next to you, his hand on the back of the sofa, so his arm is right behind your head. He leans in real close. You weren’t unfamiliar with him being in your personal space, but this was totally different than the usual instances when you were close to him, so you instinctively scoot away from him.

“What’s gotten into YOU?” he counters, gently poking your shoulder. “Can’t I sit next to you? I’m your husband, so I don’t think it’s strange.”

“I suppose not,” you reply dismissively, forcing yourself to cease your shifting.

He doesn’t say anything else. His eyes are boring a hole into your side profile. You try to return to your reading, telling yourself Diego is just messing with you again for some reason.

He lets you read for just long enough that you start to think he’s going to be satisfied with observing you for a bit before he eventually wandered his way to his bed.

“DIO?!” you squeaked out when he suddenly buried his face into your neck. One hand goes to the back of your head, tugging your hair so your chin tilts up and he can have easier access to the flesh of your neck. His other hand shuts your book and tosses it aside, and then grips your thigh.

You’ve been in a public relationship with him for a while now. His presence, his touch…none of it was unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you. Just…confusing. Especially when he decided to randomly snuggle you. It was one thing to pose as a romantic, handsome couple for the public. But you have no idea what he thought he was up to right now.

You can hear that irritating and invasive sniffing he does, feel his nose pressed up against your neck. It’s odd but. He’s not hurting you or doing anything you especially hate so…you trail one hand up to his wrist, holding it softly to simulate something affectionate.

“Have you started using a new soap or something…?” he places a wet kiss where he can feel your pulse in your neck, giving you a test lick, and then loudly licking his lips. “You smell so good tonight.”

Why was your husband so WEIRD?! You just raise an eyebrow at him.

“No…no new soap.”

“Huh.” He somehow buries his face even deeper into your neck, sniffing and prodding your skin with his nose, apparently determined to smell every inch he could reach. “…guess I’ve just never noticed before.”

His face trails down your body, sniffing and nuzzling, all the way down to your thighs, where he rubs his cheek along them. “Soft…” he thinks out loud. He makes himself comfortable in your lap, curling up almost like a cat. He’s making a low rumbling sound in his throat that made you think of purring. You’re not entirely sure how to react, so you gently run your fingers through his pretty blond hair, like stroking a pet. He hums in approval of this, then abandons exploring your clothed thighs with his hands and decides his face is much more appropriate.

First just a couple of kisses, but he’s in a Mood tonight apparently.

You squeaked much more with surprise than pain when he gives your thigh a bite.

“DIO-”

“Mm? Did I hurt you?” he blinks up at you, not quite pulled out of whatever trance has overtaken him.

Well, no, the bite didn’t really hurt, but there was a bit more force behind it than just a playful nibble.

Well if he was going to be all bold tonight, you were going to do what you wanted to him, too.

“No, it didn’t hurt, but…” you cup his cheek in your hand. His skin is not as soft as usual…a bit dry and hard and surprisingly cold. “…Your teeth.”

He leans into your cheek, and as your fingers approach his mouth he parts his lips to give you access to his teeth. You have a feeling he’s going to use this opportunity to lick your fingers but you let your curiosity get the best of you.

You trace the tips of your index and middle finger along his top teeth, but only a quick glance is necessary to see a glinting set of fangs in his mouth.

“Diego?”

You hook your fingers around one of the fangs, the gesture much more intimate than you were intending, eliciting a particularly loud purr from him at your boldness.

“Were your teeth always so sharp…” you comment more than ask. He playfully nips at you in reply, flashing those teeth at you.

“No~” he remarks cryptically, a smug smirk on his face telling you he had no interest in elaborating. He rests his chin on his hand, still using your thighs as his bed.

You frown, poking him in the cheek, the skin still feeling strange. He was being especially odd tonight.

He shrugs.

“You know, the nights have been getting colder recently,” he seemingly changes the subject.

“Have they? I haven’t noticed.”

“They have, I’m sure of it!”

“Mm, it might just be you,” you reply, placing your palm on his forehead. His skin is definitely cold.

“It’s the night,” he insists, pouting a bit because he doesn’t like when you talk back.

“Ok…”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t. You’re just saying that.”

“….I haven’t noticed any cold nights,” you admit. You Really didn’t want to argue with him over something dumb.

He furrows his eyebrows a bit at you, but doesn’t seem too irritated.

“You’re warm,” he points out, intertwining his fingers with yours. You notice his nails are very sharp from the way he curls them into the back of your hand. You make a mental note to trim them for him later.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. Like a rock that’s been sitting out in the sun. It’s very nice, I want to lay on you.”

You can’t help a tiny huff of laughter from that ridiculous simile. He seems happy he got you to laugh.

“You’re sounding like a reptile right now,” you sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips. Something about his oddness could effortlessly drop your guard once he talked enough.

He’s getting sick of being subtle.

“You should be in my bed with me tonight.”

Your eyes widen for a second, but you did see where this was going. You find it a bit cute and you’re not really opposed…but you’re not going to make it that easy for him.

“If you’re cold, you could just get another blanket.”

He frowns in disinterest at the idea, pretending to think about it. “Well yeah, I guess. But don’t you get lonely cooped up in a different room from me every night?”

“No,” you smirk, poking the tip of his nose. “Do you?”

Teasing him flips a switch. The smile disappears from his face, his eyes darkening.

He sits up at an almost inhuman speed, straddling your lap, hands gripping the back of the sofa on either side of you. He’s short and slim, so he doesn’t really weigh much on your thighs, but the sheer weight of his gaze and the suddenness of his movement makes you shut up and pay attention.

He leans his face close to you, tilting his chin just enough to be as physically close as possible without your faces actually touching.

He moves slowly, deliberately, everything around you seeming to quiet down so that the only thing you hear is Diego’s breathing, and the sound of him swallowing as he angles his mouth closer and closer to your ear.

In contrast to how cold his skin is, his breath is hot against your ear.

“Maybe I do. Is it so wrong for me, as your husband, that I actually want you in my bed tonight? You smell so good and your body is so warm and even the sound of your breathing is cute.”

He moves one hand to your neck, poking with a sharp nail the exact spot he can feel your pulse.

“Your heart is beating faster,” he notes.

“We-well YEAH!!” you gasp. “Do you HEAR yourself? ANYONE would be embarrassed after hearing that!” You place a hand on his shoulder and push him slightly away, so you can escape the spotlight of his eyes that was making your already warm skin heat up further.

“Dio, what the HELL, this is-you’re…if this is another one of your weird jokes it’s not funny!”

He holds your chin with just enough force so he can pull your gaze back to his, but not enough to hurt you.

The almost primal intensity in those blue eyes doesn’t quite fade.

“That would be a cruel joke, don’t you think? I’ll even carry you to the bedroom if you want.”

He pulls your hand to his chest.

“Please.”

There’s a genuine hint of yearning in his face. You knew him well enough to know that when Dio really wanted something he’d do almost anything for it, even ask nicely.

You’re suddenly acutely aware of how warm your cheeks are, and how hard you’re breathing. You swallow.

“I’ll say it again if I have to.”

“No…no, I believe you…” your voice is a bit shaky. You quickly give him a few short nods, telling him you’re willing to sleep in his bedroom tonight.

He presses his lips against yours, finally. For the first time in private, after a year of a purely materially beneficial marriage, the two of you are actually expressing some affection outside of the public eye.

His lips are a bit dry and cold. But at the moment you don’t find yourself minding, slipping your arms along his shoulders, before tangling one of your hands in his blond hair. You grip a large chunk tightly, pushing the back of his head with your shut fingers, simultaneously deepening and extending the kiss.

He’s practiced in multitasking, using the opportunity to readjust, moving his feet firmly on the ground, slipping a hand down your thighs, cupping the area right above your knees, and then moving his other hand strategically to your back.

Applying pressure on your back pushes you up against him further, and the new position allows him to pick you up with ease.

You let out a cute little gasp of surprise at the movement, breaking the kiss, but unwilling to keep your mouth off of him for long.

As he carries you to the bedroom, your lips explore his face, kissing and nipping at his jaw and the corner of his mouth, not stealing his entire attention so he can concentrate just enough on walking.

Then you nuzzle the top of your head under his chin.

It all felt so…comfortable. Like you could fall asleep in his arms in this moment where he actually felt like a doting and devoted husband to you, instead of just some charismatic gold digger that wanted you for that sexy inheritance your rich daddy left for you. It’s making you realize how pent up you’ve been for some real affection, you can’t keep your hands or your mouth off of Diego after he’s finally shown you something resembling passion.

“Could you get the door for me?”

You didn’t realize you closed your eyes until his voice prompts you to open them.

You reach out and swing open the door handle of the master bedroom. He pushes the door with his back.

As your eyes explore the master bedroom, you’re reminded of how rarely you actually come in here. If you ever did go into “his parts” of the house, it was usually his office, which functioned more as a trophy room than anything…and you usually only went in there to curtly inform him supper was ready, or that he received mail.

He’s taken good care of the bedroom. Fancy sheets, silk pillows…your eyes wander from the bed to around the room. You don’t even remember when he went shopping for such expensive curtains for the windows. The furniture though…the large wardrobe and elegant game table with a golden chess set sitting atop it…you remember him commissioning those from a renowned craftsman. It was one of the rare moments he had let you in to his world, showing you some of the designs he was thinking, and asking your preferences. Though you were sure he was going to go with whichever one he personally liked best it was nice that he tried to include you in something for once.

“You really love feeling rich, Dio,” you note out loud. It’s faint now after such a long day, but he was always generous with his gaudy, expensive cologne. You can smell it clearly on his neck.

“I love BEING rich,” he corrects you, tossing you gently into the fluffy blankets of the bed. You lose sight of him as soon as you land because you sink so deeply into the pillows and sheets.

You squirm around in an attempt to see over the ocean of blankets, catching a glimpse of his bare back. He’s getting changed into his luxurious pajamas, never having any issue with removing his clothes in front of you.

Such confidence. Confidence that bordered on, and sometimes was plain arrogance…

Right in this moment you’re beginning to realize you like that about him. The small sparks of attraction you had initially felt for him before your quick courtship, you knew now it was because of that confidence and the way he carried himself.

And he had so many fans. They clung to his chest and kissed his cheeks or followed him around crying and screaming for his attention…he was a prize…

You were no better than Diego.

He saw you as a status symbol, and you saw him as a first place trophy waiting to be won by you.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when he sits on the bed beside you in his expensive silk pajamas, that low rumbling still in his throat and his demeanor more relaxed than usual.

“I’ve closed all the windows and yet it’s still so cold in here,” he points out, his eyes wandering from your face.

You’re beginning to think it’s not just an obvious ploy to get cozy with you, and he actually is cold.

“I’ll buy you some thicker pajamas tomorrow then,” you reply, stretching out and nuzzling your face against a large pillow, savoring the softness and the smell of Diego lingering on it.

He laughs, slipping his freezing hand under your shirt so he can access the warmth of your skin. Apparently he was serious about wanting to use you as a heat source tonight.

“COLD!” you giggle and squirm at his frozen fingertips on your stomach.

“I told you,” he replies as if you were just reacting to the temperature in the room.

He flips the blanket over the two of you, and then slides his other hand onto the skin of your torso, settling his cold hands comfortably on your back. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, purring contentedly.

“Goodness, if you were any closer you’d be literally under my skin,” you comment, rubbing his upper back. His shoulders were stiff from all that horseback riding.

“I WISH…” he replies with a loud yawn. “I’m sure you’re even warmer inside.”

“Oh…”You blush a bit at that comment, and he mumbles something about your skin heating up pleasantly.

Though, as usual, he makes it weird.

“If I could somehow get under your skin without killing you, your blood and organs and everything would still stay warm because your beating heart would keep everything working. Now that would be one pleasant sleep; I could use your lungs as a pillow.”

“Dio, what the hell are you talking about?” You know he’s just thinking out loud again and being weird on purpose but STILL, what a thing to say.

“There’s no way to do that without hurting you though so…forget it. This is nice too.”

He wraps a leg over your thigh, placing a few lazy kisses along your collarbone before resting his cheek against you with a soft sigh.

“You’re so strange,” you place a kiss on the top of his head. The only reply you get is his snoring.

He must’ve been quite comfortable to have fallen asleep so fast.

You figure you better hurry up and do the same before his snoring drives you crazy.

-

Author’s note: I think I captured his weirdness decently but I think I’m a little off on his actual attitude towards being rich and famous. Meh this is just a silly little fic and not an in-depth character analysis so I won’t let it bother me too much.

The title is a verse from Scary Monsters (and super creeps) by David Bowie

[lxvvie]

(thank u for hearing me out lmaooo) i just wanted to show you older bf!simon on his off days walking his dogs and you basically have to bargain some of his chores off of him so you could take decent photo of him on your hike date... being cute with si-bear is gonnabe the end of me (and tom hardy too geez)

Oh, we're scooting into older bf!Simon territory, eh?

Don't mind if we do!

To be very honest, when I think of olderbf!Simon, I don't think of an age gap (this is the gist of olderbf!fave x reader, right? Please let me know!) relationship, I think about Simon who's transitioned into the next phase in his life, is older and wiser, and much more settled and comfortable.

Your boyfriend who's since peacefully retired and has found an affinity for nature the likes of which he never thought he had before.

Simon didn't think the transition into his 40s would be so... tranquil. But it is. He didn't think life after the military would be so pleasant but it is.

He's since become a proud plant parent, absolutely adores his fur baby, and is a bit of a homebody. Prefers natural lighting during the daytime.

It's still a pain in the ass to get him to pose for a photo or update his phone, though lmao.