#trapped again in suburban hell

[eeoollaa]

Wow I’ve actually beeen so emotionally mentally and physically (in the sense of self actualization, which I guess loops back around to everything) unfulfilled and without purpose

[fivelila]

- It's because he's in the CIA, huh? I'm just a dumb delivery driver. - No, Diego. - Then why? - Because I needed something for myself, okay? Something other than changing diapers and wine moms and ballet class. At least you get to get outside the house every day. I'm just trapped in this unending suburban hellscape. - I mean, that's good to know. That the life we built is so bad. - That's not what I meant. - You think I like delivering packals day in and day out? Busting my ass? Oh, trust me. I'd rather be out there cracking skulls, but, I mean, somebody's gotta show up for this marriage, ecause... it sure as hell ain't you.

Like, I'm sorry, but that was torture to watch. At this point, I thought Five was just going to be used for a wannabe humorous interlude in a story about Lila supposedly having an affair with no further response… But… do you really feel like their relationship is just one grey cloud in the sky? That all they have to do is talk and it'll all be resolved?

The way she looks at him, he's showing off for her and she's just embarrassed. In the car, she wants to confide in him about how she feels and he turns it back on himself and his problems. Plus, he fits the role of hero, head of the family. And she's the ungrateful and selfish. At this point, I was just thinking, oh, girl, I'm sorry it turned out this way.

I think she talked to him many times, but he didn't want to listen or even understand her. That's the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. Their paths may have started together, but after that they went their separate ways.

In fact, I get the feeling he didn't appreciate her at all and took her for granted. He found a girl with wild blood, a crazy personality and a sparkle in her eye and made her a housewife. She looks so tired, unhappy and frustrated! And he's like, you got me, you got the kids, you got the house, take care of all that and be happy!

In my opinion, Lila was never that type. She probably did it for him (I don't doubt her love for her kids) but it must have been killing her more and more every day.

Sorry, this is what I think. And I'm not saying this as a shipper, but as a woman. I understand her for my own personal reasons, let's say. It made me really sad...

The fact that she fell in love again and someone actually saw her, cared for her, understood her and loved her above all else was just beautiful.

[just-queue]

Listen, I really hate the writers of tua for forcing a freshly legal Aidan to have a romance subplot with Ritu, his coworker who’s older than him and has known him since he was a minor. That feels so icky and gross.

I also believe that Five and Lila’s characters fully acted IN character given their situation.

Lila and Five have similar-enough backstory trauma of family issues, being trained assassins/spies, working with the company, etc. When you’re trapped with someone for literal YEARS, just the two of you, with an increasing sense of dread and despair and hopelessness, you’re going to connect with them in a deep way. And their shared traumas would help them understand each other even more. Another point is they both are comfortable with the whole “mentally I’m this age physically I’m this age” thing after working on a company that really fucks around with time stuff for years.

As for Five initially hiding information from Lila (which was very messed up) about how to get back, we must remember that Five is morally gray and fucking TIRED. TIRED. Like remember at the end of s3 when he didn’t want to “rally the troops” again cause they kept making it worse, he just wanted to get shit faced and wait for the end?

Yes he spent 40+ years in the apocalypse alone, became an assassin to get home to his family, spent a month straight trying to stop said apocalypse, then spent years realizing he’s forever fucked up because of his drastic body/mental age difference (do you really think mentally old man Five would date/relate with kids his physical age? That’s lonely as hell), only to find himself trapped AGAIN at the end of the world? He somehow found a way to scrape out some semblance of a happy life for himself, no wonder he wouldn’t instinctively want to go back.

I think if we had those 4 extra episodes, many aspects of s4 would be better, including the fivexlila subplot. We’d get a better understanding of their despair and hopelessness that led to their romance. I also think all romance should have gone away between Five x Lila when they got back. Like agree it was a thing out of convenience/situation and needs to stay in that subway. Outside of that, focus on saving the world should be number one priority.

But even with all of that, I still don’t like it cause in reality, having the actors do those scenes is so icky and uncomfortable. That didn’t need to be a plot point, five could have been trapped with someone else or added a third or SOMETHING. No one asked for it.

I don’t dislike the characters choices, I hate the WRITERS choices.

quick edit after re-watching: I also think Lila was in character during the subway time. Like she probably did feel seen and understood by Five, she is also known for running away from big feelings/problems, so when she had no clue they could get home, I could see her falling into the happy life. Plus the shit that bothered Lila the most at home was SUBURBAN life. Not necessarily mellow life. Plus Five and Lila were still surviving which is much more “adventurous” than organizing a child’s birthday party at an arcade.

[aspiringnexu]

Going through a bit of dark Radiosilence hyperfixation and had a thought. Vox died in the fifties, he has the whole vibe of charming sleazy 50s salesman so.

What if he pulled a Wandavision?

He makes a deal with someone powerful (like Roo or Eve or Lilith) and sells his soul for the ability to trap Alastor and a good portion of his less than successful employees in a section of Hell protected by wards and spells and containing a lifelike recreation of 1950s suburban America, blue skies and white picket fences as far as the eye can see and not a single demon. No, no everyone appears human in this little fantasy land and Vox is of course married to his very dapper radio host fellow television guest presenter husband whose cooking is the envy of every housewife on the block.

Why is Alastor going along with this? Simple! He isn't! At least not willingly. But Vox made sure his soul came at a very hefty price so now the great Radio Demon is missing again and Vox slips away every few days to play house with his new husband who can't won't ever say no.

Cue angst, Vox achieving every stalker's dream, and Charlie turning Hell inside out trying to find her business partner/unofficial stepdad/friend.

[chloessleepystories]

Reckoning Day

Male/female, female/female, female domination, mind control

It was a typical quiet day on my typical quiet suburban street. Birds singing, a lawnmower somewhere. But there were two things that were not typical.

In my driveway, at a time when there’s usually no one home, there were two cars. One, my wife’s.

And one, my girlfriend’s.

I barely had the engine off before I was leaping from my car and sprinting toward the front door. It was either that, or head for the hills, which was frankly tempting.

I paused on the doorstep, getting my breathing under control. Was this “Honey I can explain” or simply “Hi, ladies, whatcha talking about?” After all, my wife knew Sam – they weren’t friends, exactly, but they knew each other. I couldn’t think of a reason they’d be hanging out, or anything, but this wasn’t necessarily the “Do you know what your husband has been up to” moment.

I opened the door gently, walked in, made a tentative “Hello?” No answer. Nobody in the living room, which was very surprising.

“Honey?” I called, gently.

Nobody in the kitchen.

“Baby?” I whispered.

Suddenly, a noise upstairs – it sounded like ... a moan?

I hurried upstairs, confused, trying to shift mentally from one TV cliché to another. What was happening? Down the hall, quickly but silently, toward the bedroom. Burst through the open doorway ...

And stopped dead.

My girlfriend was lying in the queen sized bed, the bed where I’d repeatedly cheated with her – propped against the pillows, stark naked. Her long red hair cascaded over her bare shoulders, her legs were spread, and her oversized breasts stood high and mesmerizing on her chest. She was a vision, to captivate me all over again.

Between her legs ... lay my wife. Also nude. Her pert ass raised in the air, her blonde head down, buried in Sam’s pussy – she was gorgeous. My cock twitched, wanting to fuck her in this position.

“Rebecca, what the – what the fuck?? What’s going on?”

My wife ignored me, sucking and slurping on my girlfriend’s cunt. I could see Rebecca’s fingers working in her own sloppy pussy, between those beautiful upturned ass cheeks. Rebecca seemed oblivious to me ... But Sam didn’t. She smiled at me wickedly, as she had been since I walked in, and her eyes seemed unusually dark.

“She can’t hear you right now, Roger. Her mind is ... elsewhere, I guess you could say. She’s discovered her True Purpose.”

“trrue purfpofse” Rebecca murmured into the folds that had apparently trapped her tongue.

“What the hell is going on, Sam?” I shouted, as I kicked off my shoes.

“Quietly, love.”

“Is she drugged or something?” I hissed. “What did you do to her?”

“Nothing she didn’t want me to do,” she said, and grinned. “Well, eventually, anyway.” Sam stroked the blonde head slurping at her juices, then moaned, convulsing a bit. “Oh, she’s good at this. I wonder if it’s not her first time after all ... Your wife is learning that it Feels Good to Serve.”

“feellss g’d tuh serff” came the muffled words.

I pulled my sweater over my head, angrier than ever. “But why?” I whispered. “Why would you do this?”

“Because I got tired of waiting, Roger! You said you wanted me and only me. You were going to dump this bitch, who nags you and never puts out, who thinks she’s so much smarter than you, and you were going to be mine. Well, what is taking so long!” Sam humped her clit repeatedly against my wife’s mouth.

Rebecca’s fingers worked harder at her drooling cunt as she whimpered at the pleasure of serving. The mindless pleasure of being used ... For a moment I could almost imagine the blank-minded bliss of feeding from Sam’s exquisite pussy while stroking myself stupid ...

I shook myself mentally, as I unbuttoned my shirt. There was no doubt that Sam was hot. And I really had been thinking I preferred her to my wife. But this – whatever this was – was unconscionable. This was over the line.

“You are crazy!!” I said in the loudest whisper I could manage. “You really think I could be with you after you – you did whatever to my wife?? Stop this now, please, I – I’ll do whatever you want.”

Sam just smiled. “I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to release such a Dutiful Hypnoslut.”

“dooful hypofflut”

“Dutiful Hypnoslut,” I murmured, taking off my pants.

Look at them, I thought. The two most beautiful women in the world to me. Naked. One in thrall to the other. Helpless ... It was so ... arousing ...

I fought down that train of thought as I worked my underwear over my erection.

“Rebecca! Rebecca honey! Listen to me! We’re leaving! Snap out of it!”

“Roger ... “ Sam purred. “Sshhh.”

My mouth snapped shut.

“And relax. It’s not a big deal.”

My body relaxed, tension easing. I was still angry, still confused, still scared ... But I couldn’t access it now.

“Your wife is going to serve me. I’m quite – mmmm – enjoying what she’s doing, and I don’t want it to stop. And you should have figured out by now that I get what I want ... So you have a choice. You can leave, or you can stand there quietly while she brings me to an orgasm.”

Well, what could I do? I couldn’t leave. Who knew what might happen? So I convinced myself that it was best to stay.

You know, just for a little while.

Til they were done.

I watched my wife’s beautiful bottom as it swayed, watched my girlfriend’s full breasts bounce as she got closer to cumming from my wife’s tongue ... I was harder than I ever had been in my life. Sam, opening her eyes as she gasped, noticed.

“Mmmmm look how big and hard you are. Go on, look.”

I looked down. I was naked except for my socks, and my erection was pointing straight out at the two women on the bed. The information seemed to come from a long way away – I’m naked. When did that happen. Was this important information? I couldn’t decide.

Sam grinned, reading my mind. “Don’t worry about it. You like watching us, don’t you.” I nodded. “You need to stroke it while you watch, don’t you.” I nodded again. But I didn’t touch my cock yet. Something was missing, but I couldn’t remember what.

“You have my permission.” Ah yes, that was it. “Go ahead and jerk it to the sight of your stupid cunt of a wife in thrall to my pussy. She’s my pussy slave, isn’t she, pet? And that’s sooo arousing ... “

It was. I mindlessly grasped my throbbing cock in my fist and started stroking. I was getting close, almost as close as Sam, from the sound of it. And Rebecca, too, come to that – she seemed more aroused than I had heard her for years, just from the privilege of slurping on girl juices.

“Roger ...” Sam gasped out. “Why don’t you go fuck your wife from behind.”

That sounded like a great idea. I shuffled toward that pert ass, following my cock like a dowsing rod. I was almost touching her when Sam snapped her fingers and said “Bad boy.”

My boner instantly deflated – it went completely limp and small in seconds. Sam cackled with laughter. “I didn’t say Simon Says!! Hahaha ... Oh I love doing that. Oh poor baby ... Look at your face. OK.” She snapped again. “Good boy.”

Within seconds I was hard as a rock again. “Go ahead,” she said. “Stick it in.”

I laid my hand on Rebecca’s ass. The head of my throbbing, dripping cock barely touched her soaking pussy lips ... And Rebecca screamed and pulled away. Her first sign of even being aware of me since I walked in!

Sam howled with laughter, rolling around on the bed as Rebecca sat back on her haunches, her shiny face slick with drool and pussy juice and her expression one of anger and confusion.

“Yeah, I should have told you!” Sam wiped a tear from her eye. “Aaahhh heh heh ... Your wife belongs to me now.”

“What?”

“Tell him, Fuckslut.”

Rebecca’s eyes unfocused, and she spoke in a monotone. “My cunt belongs to Sam. I am a lesbian now. I hate the feeling of cocks touching my body.”

Sam grinned wickedly. “But ... ?”

“But I will happily accept cocks in all my holes if Mistress commands.”

My cock was throbbing harder than ever at my wife’s glazed expression ... And at her words.

“So, my pet,” said Sam, standing up gracefully and slinking toward me. “Here are the new rules. This ...” – she stroked my aching member with one finger, making me twitch and moan – “belongs to me, and me alone. I decide what you do with that. I may share it, but that is up to me. Understand?”

I nodded. She squeezed it, catching some of my dripping precum on her fingers. “Second ...” She walked to Rebecca, stuffing those fingers into my wife’s mouth, and smiling as she watched her eagerly, mindlessly suck. “Becca is my obedient slave girl now. When she’s like this, she does as she’s told. That means if I want you to never touch her cunt again, I can make that happen. But I can also make her insatiable for your cock, and need fucking every night.”

Sam reached down to stuff 3 fingers in her pussy, then fed her juices to my wife, all while she continued to look me in the eye. “I can hand her over to a motorcycle gang of lesbians and make her a titslave for a week. I can make her fuck 7 black guys, one after the other, while you watch, unable to do anything but stroke yourself, without cumming. Screaming obscenities at her weakling husband while she’s made airtight by gangbangers.”

She scooped out more of her own juices and smeared them on Rebecca’s right breast. “I can give you the doting, dutiful wife you always wanted, serving you and pleasing you and never jealous that you’re sleeping with me too.” She stuffed her fingers into Rebecca’s cunt, making her gasp, and almost fall forward ... Then smeared her juices on her left nipple. “I can make her a house slave for both of us, cooking and cleaning and serving our food, edging while watching us fuck but never, ever allowed to cum.”

I watched my wife’s face. Her mind was far away, but there was a tension behind her eyes ... And she was sweating.

“Come here, pet. Taste your wife’s tits and tell me which tastes better.”

I crawled across the bed, sucking on each nipple. They tasted about the same, but of course I picked the right breast.

“Good boy. Lie down.”

I lay on the bed, my throbbing erection pointing to the ceiling. Sam straddled me. “I can do anything I want to this bitch,” she said, taking my cock in her hand. “I can play with her, and then put her back, and have her not even remember what I did. Or what we did ... Wouldn’t it be nice to help me call the shots? Instead of being another plaything?”

She lined it up, then sank down on my rigid cock. My eyes rolled back in my head immediately as my senses went white from overload for a moment. “It all depends on you, my love,” she was saying. “Are you going to be my willing partner? Will you be mine? I’ll let you keep the cuntslave around, as long as you remember I’m alpha around here ... Cunt!” she barked. “Sit on his face. Feed him that delicious pussy, and dream of getting fucked by his cock ...”

My wife scrambled to straddle my face with more sexual enthusiasm than I’d seen from her in years. “Yes Mistress!”

“So ...” I gasped out, as her thighs cradled my head. “You can make her serve part-time, and give her back her normal life the rest of the time? Still be herself, with free will?”

Sam laughed her throaty laugh, and her cunt squeezed my cock as Rebecca’s engorged, dripping pussy slid onto my tongue. “Silly pet,” she cooed. “Haven’t I given you your free will for all these months?”

I could hear Rebecca moan as she – from the sound of it – sucked on Mistress’s full, beautiful breast. Sam started to move, riding my cock, and I somehow knew I would not be allowed to cum until she gave me permission.

“And you can’t imagine the things I’ve made you forget ... “

Hey folks - do you like those little notes at the top, labeling what's in this story, kinkwise? Like it, don't like it, don't care? Let me know - thanks!

[cleverclove]

Actually, can we talk about that? The female characters in TUA are written considerably differently than male characters.

Lila and Allison fall into two specific archetypes: Badass™️ but she’s a Woman™️, and mother of the group.

It feels like they tried too hard to make Lila a Strong™️ Independent™️ Woman™️ and they kinda…lost the plot along the way. Having her feel trapped in her life could have been SO interesting. She even says it herself; “suburban hell” just isn’t for her. That’s not her style. But instead of like…I don’t know…having her figure this out for herself and maybe finding a compromise, the writers obviously decided that she just can’t be left alone without a man. The underlying message is that she needs a man, because when she has a man with her, she doesn’t need to look inward and unpack the complex emotions she’s feeling. Just use romance to distract from the real problem at hand! Yeah!

That and the man she cheats with is um. Physically not even a man at all.

And then there’s Allison. Oh, Allison. Once my favorite character, I’m not even sure what to feel about her anymore. We’ve always seen her take on a motherly role with her siblings. From being the one person to actively reach out to Viktor in season 1, to being the only sibling pre-canon to even have a kid, it’s clear that Allison has always been written to be the “mom friend” of this fucked-up little group. But is this really all they could do with her? Just have her be problematic for a little bit, and then immediately switch back to nurturing her siblings? There’s just so much lost potential with Allison. She’s not struggling with rumor powers like she has in the past. I mean, you’d think they would explore Allison’s inner conflict with having Claire and her powers at the same time—we all know how that ended last time.

Ladies and lesbians, we’ve been failed. Again. But is that really a surprise?

[feathered-serpents]

So. In both God of War games Atreus/Freya are coded to follow the player right? In any game with companions the companion is obviously basically glued to the player and in a lot of games (Dragon Age for example) the companions will interact with the environment as best they can, climb letters, jump over stuff, etc but if the player gets to far away they will just teleport to their location so you don’t lose a companion

In God of War this doesn’t happen. Atreus/Kratos always follow you by naturally interacting with the environment. If you climb they climb, if you jump they jump, they never teleport. That’s because God of War’s AI is so good there’s almost never a need to, they’re really good at not getting stuck or left behind

But

Sometimes. It still bugs out. and the results. Are incredibly funny

I’ve had this happen to me twice, once in the first game, once in the second game. Both only with Atreus, never lost Freya which tracks honestly

In the first game I lost Atreus in Ivaldi’s Workshop and if you don’t know what that is because you don’t play GOW but still read the posts I make about it (I love you) Ivaldi’s workshop is an ever changing labyrinth filled with saw-style booby traps consisting of death propellers or 20 foot saw blades or classic “just fucking squish’em” the ceiling falls down traps AS WELL AS thick ass fog that makes it so you can’t fucking see and also it’s POISONOUS so if you stand in it for too long you straight up die and I have lost my kid in it

And suddenly I went from playing God of War to playing a “Lost my kid in the mall” simulator except the mall is a death trap filled with toxic fumes and ever changing walls aka any suburban mall. I am walking down all these halls trying to find this dumbass and the only thing I have to go on is sometimes I can hear his voice distantly through the mist. Far away. He’ll just say something and I’ll walk in that direction and he won’t be there. It was hell. It literally sounds like Kratos’ hell. I never found him I had to reset the checkpoint

The second time I’ve already talked about but it was awhile ago and it’s still one of the funniest things that ever happened to me in a game so I’m talking about it again.

I was doing Surtr’s trials and was getting to the last six (?) trials at the very end. If you’ve done these, you know if you do all of them in one go rather than leaving and coming back you get REALLY methodical at it. Arena one, arena two, main arena. Arena one, arena two, main arena. Again and again and again

The thing is, at the start of each of these fights the arena gates slam shut. Which makes sense since it’s supposed to be an arena. Arenas have gates and they’re usually shut. Well. I managed to move from arena two to the main arena so quickly that Atreus didn’t have time to get out of the first arena and got locked in behind the gate

I didn’t even REALIZE he wasn’t there until I tried firing arrows and nothing happened. Finally I turned around and I couldn’t see him. Then I heard a tiny, distant “Watch out father!” And got cleaved in half by a draugr. I would’ve had to restart either way several enemies you NEED Atreus with you to beat and he was in JAIL

Just the image of Atreus on his toes, locked in another arena with his face pressed against the bars screaming at the top of his lungs “FATHER!! BEHIND YOU!! HE’S BEHIND YOU!!!!!” Is the funniest thing in the world

This absolutely actually happened in my mind. Atreus thinks both are funny now, Kratos does not

[blatantescapism]

Ah yes, it’s that special day where once again I find myself wondering what the ever-living fuck Joe Finigan was thinking.

This is the story of how I utterly failed to have the appropriate emotional reaction to 9/11. Mind the trigger tags. I’d add more but I ran out. This story is insensitive by nature and I probably shouldn’t share it, but it’s also such a weird slice of American life that I kinda feel like I gotta.

So, context.

Columbine happened in 1999, when I was in 5th grade. Schools across the US started to be like, “hm, maybe it’s time to actually address this issue somehow.” Our elementary school brought in some random police officers to talk about it. Police who, if anything, had been trained in how to make kids more traumatized.

We didn’t have active shooter drills back then. They were just like, “Hey kids, I want you to imagine this fucked up scenario that I am vividly describing. What would you do if it happened to you? Do you have a Plan? Will you be able to stick to your Plan even while your classmates are screaming? You should think about it hard, in graphic detail, so that when the time comes you won’t hesitate to make Tough Choices. Breaking your leg because you jumped out a window is still better than being dead! Listen to this story of a girl who hid under a desk, but then the gunman found her and she couldn’t escape because there was no room to maneuver and so she was trapped and the gunman shot her while she bravely said her prayers, we have a weird creepy obsession with painting the victims as modern Christian martyrs and we totally invented the entire story but you won’t realize that for at least a decade. And remember: don’t run in a straight line, run in zigzags so that you’re harder to shoot.”

So yeah, that was 1999, we were 11 years old, and we took that shit very much to heart.

Two years later, it’s 2001. There have been 15 new US school shootings in that time. My sister and I are in middle school, it’s early in the school year but we’ve started to get into a normal rhythm,

Suddenly there is a totally unexpected blare on the intercom. It’s Principal Joe Finigan, he is about to make the most significant announcement of his career, and for some fucking reason he decides that THIS is the best thing to say:

“There has been a, uh, a terrible tragedy. Everyone should go home now. Uh, ask your parents what happened. As far as we know, we are not a target at this time.” Click.

We don’t have any other sources of information. The teachers aren’t telling us what’s going on, but some are crying.

Obviously there must have been a school shooting in town. But what the hell did he mean by “as far as we know, we are not a target at this time”? That makes it sound like the gunman is still at large. Is this a sniper situation? Is it even safe to walk home? Are we going to have to line up in the office and take turns using the school telephone to call our parents?

We cautiously head outside, and there’s a line of parents already out there waiting in their cars to pick their kids up. Oh shit, it must be bad. Was it the kindergarten? Or the Catholic prep school?

Our mom is upset. She says she doesn’t want to talk about it while driving. She’ll show us the news on the TV when we get home.

We get home and steel ourselves to face the news, fully expecting to see the names of close friends and neighbors listed among the dead.

So please imagine how appalled our dear mother is when we say, “Wait a minute- all this fuss is because some buildings are on fire in a completely different state?!”

“As far as we know, we are not a target at this time.”

Dear Joe Finigan. What the fuck made you say that. Please tell me, did you genuinely imagine terrorists being like

“At this time, our target is the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. But next, we shall target a mediocre school in a bland suburban town that nobody has ever heard of! Ohoho! Ah hah ha ha!”

Anyway, there’s something to be said about how after both events, the US response was, “You see, this is why we need more guns. We tooootally promise they’ll only be used to hurt Bad Guys! After all, we’re the Good Guys! USA! USA!”

[gristlegrinder]

late night ttrpg gming thoughts about stuff i want to do (whining like a sad little dog)

Like, okay. It’s been way too long since I’ve played or run a game in the Chronicles system and I keep thinking about it. I have so many ideas (for both characters and campaigns) that I’ve been holding onto for years and I want to finally actualize some of them. It’s just, like— so games-wise, if I ever got over my nerves and started running stuff again:

1. The campaign I’ve come the closest to actually GMing but keep kicking my feet on is a Changeling chronicle— Changeling being a dark fantasy game about people reclaiming their trauma narrative from the faerie kingdom they were trapped in— with kind of a southern gothic spin. You know, that kind of folklore vibe, but set in the Blue Ridge Mountains and playing with family and place and being queer in a rural small town. This one’s near and dear to my heart, and I already have some people who’ve called dibs on being in it if I ever get my shit together, but I keep stalling out trying to connect some of the dots in my brain.

2. Likewise, my other big Changeling dream campaign is something that plays with the Briarnet lore— the Briarnet being a variant of the liminal faerie borderlands that takes a cyberpunk edge, quite literally being a web of unreality existing in the Internet itself. I don’t know how else to describe it. It rules. Do I have a specific campaign in mind? No! Do I want some y2k-flavored technofaerie bullshit occupying my brainspace more than it already does? Absolutely! And I think it would be a fun crossover with the Hunter books, as your local advocate for Network Zero (the forum guys) being the best monster hunter conspiracy. (Sorry, Knights of St. Adrian, you’re a close second in my heart).

3. Then there’s the Vampire game I’ve been sitting on. Vampires are probably the most self-explanatory of the group, and Requiem has less internal worldbuilding to introduce than Masquerade IMO, making it a decent introductory point for new players, but vampires are also vampires. My dream Vampire game, for years now, has been a murder mystery noir inspired by fuzzy 1970s giallo film aesthetics, where you and the rest of the group are trying to prove your innocence against the murder and diablerie of a prominent elder amongst the kindred. In a perfect world, I’d want this to have enough players where one PC would actually be the true killer, working against everybody else and gradually killing other characters the longer they’re left alive, but PvP campaigns are fairly difficult and prone to more emotional bleed (especially when Vampire is a game with a lot of direct mental manipulation skills) and I haven’t fully worked out how I’d manage it safely. But I want it so bad.

4. And Demon is the game I used to run for ~4 years, and I miss it so so much. It might be my favorite of the games? It’s an espionage thriller that puts angels and demons in sort of a dystopian Matrix conflict, with the God Machine and Its agents being operatives enforcing systems of reality and demons fighting for their independence and free will. The main issue is that I made the rookie mistake of using most of my good ideas for the first campaign, plus the most established canon setting (kisses Splintered City: Seattle on the cheek), so I’ve been struggling to think of what I want to do next.

I think a series of smaller, serialized-crime-show heists would be fun, focused on destabilizing infrastructure and completing one objective. Not my usual style, which leans more politicking and social deduction, but I feel good enough within the system to not be intimidated by a more action-heavy setup, and organized heists are REALLY fun to plan around.

Setting is the hardest part of this one, since I can’t default to Seattle again, but I’ve been considering something drenched in midcentury Cold War aesthetics, playing up those spy thriller angles— whether that’s white-picket suburban American hell or urban Eastern Europe on the edge of collapse. Knowing me, it’d be something grungy and Soviet, but it could go either way.

5. Wild card option— Beast is really unpopular as a gameline for various reasons but I can fix her. I like to advertise her as The Magnus Archives before there were The Magnus Archives: it’s a game about people who are possessed by archetypal embodiments of carnal fears, who are really also just themselves reflected in darkness, which then drive them to hunger. It’s kind of just a media match made in heaven, besides the families not really lining up right. This was actually the first chronicles game I played in, even if I’ve never run it, so I have a soft spot for it and I think it could be fun to do stylish supernatural horror set in 1920s Weimar Germany. Play up the Primordial Dream as a kind of Expressionistic landscape of growing social anxieties. I didn’t take multiple seminars studying German Expressionism and Fritz Lang in college for nothing, and this lets me recycle some, clears throat, unused concepts I was waiting to show off in my old Demon game.

6. And then finally. Sighs loudly. A Victorian-era gothic comedy(?) with Geist also speaks to me, with Geist being a game about should-be-dead people who bargain with Death for more time among the living, have buddy comedy shenanigans with the death spirit keeping their corpse functioning, and ideally do some kind of ghost socialism (I am not joking). This one ranks the lowest because I have absolutely no vision for the plot, just vibes. This is a really bad way of advertising Geist and I promise it’s cool and atmospheric and haunting but sometimes you just want gay dandies having seances and trying to dance around all of their zombie problems to maintain some social decorum.

And like those aren't all of my dreams (Mummy lives rent free in my brain thematically but plotting for Mummy is scary and intimidating; I’ve wanted to do a fucked up splattery survival horror for a while but don’t have a good system in mind; my more unweildy Geist vision is an Underworld campaign traveling to the Ocean of Fragments to find the end of the end; Oops! Aliens, Somehow! despite there not being solid or consistent alien rules), but they’re the ones I go back to most frequently. I really like doing tabletop stuff! I consider myself a solid GM for this system and have a lot of fun playing with it! I want to do it!

But arrrrrRRRGHGGHHHHHhhhhhhhhh manifestation is HARD and my untreated brain stuff has been destroying my wretched being and part of me keeps telling myself i should probably focus more on Curseborne once that all starts coming out for realsies and—

[gabriel-lynden]

Gru (Steve Carell) is a super-villain, operating out of his suburban home that serves as a front for an underground lair where he, his partner, Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand), and thousands of short yellow minions plan their nefarious deeds.

Gru's pride is injured when an unknown super-villain steals the Great Pyramid of Giza and is described as making "all other villains look lame". Gru decides to go one better by shrinking and stealing the Earth's moon, an idea based on his childhood dreams of being an astronaut, which were always discouraged by his mother (Julie Andrews). The plan, including a spacecraft, is quite expensive, and Gru seeks a loan from the Bank of Evil. The Bank's president, Mr. Perkins (Will Arnett), is impressed by the plan but will only provide the money if Gru can obtain a shrink ray first.

Gru and his minions easily steal a shrink ray from a secret base in Asia, but it is stolen from them moments later by the up-and-coming super-villain, Vector (Jason Segel), who was also responsible for the Pyramid theft. Gru tries several means to break into Vector's base without success, but notices three orphan girls, Margo (Miranda Cosgrove), Edith (Dana Gaier), and Agnes (Elsie Fisher), easily walk into the base to sell Vector cookies. Gru, faking his credentials, adopts the girls from Miss Hattie's (Kristen Wiig) Home for Girls, planning on using them to infiltrate Vector's base. However, Gru has much difficulty nurturing them properly between their own rambunctiousness, their ballet classes, and his own unwillingness to be a parent.

Eventually, Gru and the girls successfully reacquire the shrink ray. The girls suggest a day at the local theme park to celebrate, whereupon Gru agrees, believing he can ditch the girls there. To his surprise, he comes to warm up to the girls over the course of the day and takes them back home with him. Later, Gru returns to the Bank of Evil for his loan, but Perkins rejects him again, stating that they would rather see a younger super-villain, such as his son Vector, complete this theft. As Gru mopes about at home, the girls offer the contents of their piggy bank to fund the plan. Gru, inspired, sacrifices parts of his lair to construct the spacecraft. Gru plans to steal the moon when it is nearest the Earth, but this ends up being the same day as the girls' ballet recital. Gru becomes conflicted, and Dr. Nefario, seeing this interfering with the plan, arranges for the girls to be returned to the orphanage.

Gru proceeds with his plan to steal the moon, successfully shrinking it to fit in his hand. Gru realizes he can still make the girls' recital, but he arrives too late and finds that Vector has kidnapped them and demands the Moon as a ransom for their return. Gru makes the trade, but Vector reneges on the deal, flying off with the girls and the moon. Meanwhile, Dr Nefario has discovered that the Shrink Ray is not permanent and that an object the size of the Moon will return to normal size within hours. As the moon starts to expand in Vector's ship, Gru, Dr. Nefario, and the minions pull off a daring mid-air rescue of the girls, just as the moon explodes out from Vector's ship and launches itself back into orbit. Vector is trapped on the moon as it regains its full size.

Sometime later, Gru has readopted the girls and treats them as his family, and he writes them a bedtime storybook framed around his own experience. Margo hugs Gru, telling him she loves him, which he then hugs her back, saying the same. The girls perform their own ballet recital for Gru, his mother, Dr. Nefario, and the minions, with the movie ending as they all get on stage to dance to "You Should Be Dancing".

What the hell

[thefallenangelsgang]

PTSD nightmares are... a nightmare (ba dum tssss) (I'm coping with comedy)

(gen Trigger Warning, I don't get into my trauma but I bitch about how my brain processes it)

I hate the nonsensical nature of them, I hate that they package my trauma in an abstract form (no no no you don't get to recollect the things that traumatized you, you get to experience the fear and anxiety in new fun ways!), and I hate that they always wake me up at inconvenient times. It's 4 am, my heart is racing, and I'm triggered. I just want to go to bed.

One of the worst parts but also my saving grace (real double edged sword here jfc) is that I almost exclusively lucid dream. Over the years its gotten less pronounced, I used to manually control my dreams a LOT as a kid, but I still can if I need to. Nowadays I'm more likely to let a narrative play out. It is important though that I am choosing not to interact with the dream. I retain some sense of control which makes it fun when the logic breaks and my brain goes "excuse me!" and fixes it in real time but very much NOT FUN when I'm experiencing horrors and I am in control of myself (or whatever character I am playing) (one fun time I was Ryan Reynolds but that's a story about my not normal arachnophobia and the inherent strangeness of a overcast suburban neighborhood)

It seems though my brain has adapted over the years. It sounds ridiculous but the dreams have gotten narratively more- not logical but reasonable. I could read a short story about my dreams and understand the plot and setting even if its a story about a residential development (that kinda looks like my grandmother's neighborhood) surrounded by impossibly high, sheer concrete walls. And we aren't talking like hehe 8ft walls you see in idk a prison. We're talking hundreds of feet tall and wide. I could read that and get real stupid and salivate over themes and shit. Cause yeah, the theme is feeling TRAPPED and that there is no ESCAPE and my brain is using chemical warfare in the literal sense TO HURT ME

Lucid dreaming also makes the nightmares worse because I can dissect that shit in real time. I can go "mmmm this is giving me anxiety and I think I know why (:" while I can feel my heart racing out of my chest.

The one saving grace is that I can force myself awake if need be and usually my brain will automatically do it if shit's getting wild (ie I am in danger of crying in the middle of the night like I'm 6 again) but then I end up sitting in the dark (cause my pupils are dilated to hell from fear(dark flavored) so I can't turn on my lights) at 4 am, triggered and only getting more triggered by sitting in the dark alone with my thoughts.

So let's go to Tumblr and rant about trauma until the images of those fucking Clowns(?) gets out of my brain. (I don't have clown trauma? I've never had clown trauma? I also don't have home invasion trauma but that was more a metaphor for loss of control. Still confused why clowns were involved. Also confused why my brain chose to make the setting SciFi dystopia but here we are)

(also these weren't like neon stupid wig and lots of face paint clowns. These were like mime/street performer esque clowns, far more understated. Normal people doing clown shit (had a great shot of one doing a card trick outside a window that I should kick over to my film friends) with a lil classic clown make up. YOU KNOW THAT ROBIN WILLIAMS PHOTO OF HIM AS A STREET MIME, FUCKING THAT)

(I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP)

[theberrybrothel]

Berry Brothel: Halloween: Tina

Tina walked into the room quietly, timidly unsure of what to expect. She was surprised at being the last performer tonight, but she rolled with it. As her shoes clicked on the hard floor of the showroom, the room began to shrink going from a grand ballroom with high ceilings to a simple guest bedroom in a typical suburban house. Slowly a bedroom dresser and nightstand came into view. The furniture had an older vibe to it, unlike the sleek IKEA style Tina was used to. Tina thought back and realized what was going on. She was in the bedroom of a teenager from the 80’s complete with 21 jump street posters on the wall. Tina looked around again and was able to tell this was supposed to be a girls room, her room in fact. However, since her card had been nearly blank, she had no idea what she was supposed to do in this place, so she sat down on the bed and stretched out, vibe-ing out to the 80’s soundtrack coming from the radio. Then the music changed. It went from light 80’s pop to fizz as if someone was fiddling with the station and when she looked up, she saw she wasn’t alone. Standing in front of her was a man tall, and a little chubby but not in a creepy way, more a solid way. He was in a striped sweater and burned felt hat. The radio settled on a station, but all that came out was a small girls’ nursery rhyme “one-two Freddy's coming for you.”

    Freddy looked at her “ready to play bitch?”

    Tina screamed as the bed opened up and swallowed her whole fall felt longer than it should have, but so she hit the floor with an audible thump followed by the clang of metal. She was in some kind of room. It looked like a boiler room with pipes and steam and fire, but the room was too big to be just a boiler room instead this furnace lit the fires of hell. She looked around and there were catwalks that ran in every direction, but there seemed to be no clear way out. Any path could be a dead end or another trap, but she knew if she stayed she would be caught and who knows what would happen to her then. Besides the card had told her she was the final girl, so that means she needed to run.

    She took a few steps forward at a jogging pace when she noticed something odd, her weight was off. Mostly in front and behind plus when did her clothing get so tight? “Oh no” she thought. Now she knew the game she was in. She had heard rumors that management was trying things like this, it was a maze, and her job was to solve it without getting caught or getting too big to move. But the rumors she heard were called “dangerous games” not “final girl.” There was no time for that now, she had a maze to solve.

Then the sound of static filled the air, along with that radio tuning sound and again she heard “1…2… Freddy’s coming for you” then she heard another sound, the sound of a knife being dragged along a piece of metal and she ran. She turned down hallways seemingly at random, making lefts and rights hoping this zigzag would throw off her pursuers. What she was really doing, however, was looking for stairs to head up. Tina had to guess that the way out was either at the very top or bottom of the maze and figuring stairs would soon start becoming a problem for her, certainly, if her hips get any bigger, then she had better start at the top.

    Soon she felt two sensations she shouldn’t be feeling right now. First, her nipples hardened and started to show through her tightening tee shirt, then the warmth moved south to her pussy which started to moisten. She knew the cause of both of these sensations, but why was she feeling now? The last thing she should be feeling right now was horny, but then her nipples rubbing on the fabric of her tee shirt did feel good, and the extra jiggle in her ass made it look so spankable and fuckable. These sudden interests in her figure caused her to slow down just a bit, but only a bit was all it took for the radio to tune in. “3…4… better lock your door” and from the darkness of the next turn an arm shot out holding a chocolate pumpkin. When Tina screams, the hand shoves the whole thing into her mouth. She chewed it quickly, feeling the warmth of the chocolate cause a warming sensation to spread thru her body and finally settle into her belly. Which surged outward with an almost audible blorp. Her belly’s sudden growth took up all the slack in her pants and caused the forming of a muffin top over the rest of her clothing. As the hand retreated back into the darkness, it said “trick or treat bitch.”  

    Tina finished swallowing the chocolate pumpkin she had been fed. The warmth of the chocolate flowed through her body, speeding up her growth as it did so. By the time it was done Tina had guessed she had gained at least fifty pounds, the lower half of her belly was now fully exposed from her t-shirt. Her boobs had grown at least a cup size, and she could hear stitches of her pants snapping and popping even as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. She knew if she started running then she would bust out of them. The warmth faded from her body, but for some reason stayed in her nipples and pussy. The feeling of arousal played in the back of her head even as she tried to orient herself and keep trying to find stairs.

    She started to move again, frowning at the swishing sound that was coming from between her legs, a constant reminder of her size. As a performer at the brothel, she was used to fluctuations in her size, weight, and even skin color. But she never had this much time to dwell on it, to really feel what it was like to be this big. And if she was honest with herself she didn’t hate it. Maybe she would start using this as her default daytime size, rather than her old super skinny self, but enough thinking she had a game to win.

She turned a corner and found a set of stairs, climbing them as quickly as her bloated body would allow. When she reached the new floor, she looked around. Visually it was indistinguishable from the previous level. Still, all the steam and piping a jet of steam caught her in the ass, causing her to jump forward. As she felt her body settle Tina was shocked again by how good it felt. The way her body jiggled and shook from just a small movement. The way her very sensitive nipples brushed against the fabric of her shirt when she moved. The slight camel toe that was forming around her pussy, as her ass continued to swell and her panties continued to tighten. The once full pair slowly morphing into a thong, as her cheeks swallowed it. She began moving again. Her body was more massive now, but she was determined to win the game. This time she didn’t bother to check every path and corridor. Time was too short for that. Instead, she rationalized that if there were another set of stairs, it would be at the complete opposite corner from where she now was. So she kept moving, careful to dodge another jet of steam that was about to grab her swelling breasts. She looked around as she walked, taking in this boiler room hellscape. She tried to gauge how many floors there were, but it was impossible to tell. There seemed to be an endless number, both above and below. Worse it all looked the same, a repeating pattern of boilers, catwalks, bridges, and steam. A single wrong turn could get you lost forever, never able to tell if you were just going in circles until she got too big to move and was caught.

    She moved through the maze on a walk. Since her frame wouldn’t allow her to jog anymore, and though she tried to ignore it, the tightening of her clothing across her frame meant that her growing size was never far from her mind.  Her shirt was slowly turning into a bra, as it crept up her growing gut. Exposing more and more flesh as it went. The faint sounds of stitches popping in her pants from the swelling of her ass. Soon it would tear. Through all this the most prominent thought in her brain was horniness. The rubbing of her nipples and the fabric of her panties on her pussy was distracting her more than she cared to admit. “5…6… wear a crucifix” the sound stopped Tina dead in her tracks. He was coming. She whirled around and saw him standing there in front of her. The shadow of his hat hid his face except for that toothy grin. In his hand, he brandished another chocolate pumpkin. Which he quickly placed into her mouth. This time, however, he didn’t vanish back into the shadows. He walked around her dragging his metal claws against her rapidly softening flesh.

    Tina hated to admit it, but the cold metal felt so good against her hot skin. “my, my, my, you have become a chubby one, haven’t you?” She looked down at her body, placing her hands on her belly and feeling its weight. The chocolate pumpkin’s effects were starting now. making her belly swell fast as it fattened. he continued to circle her, cutting off any possible escape route. there was a loud rip sound from behind her as her pants split open to show her red panties “Feels good doesn’t it piggy slowly losing all those constricting clothing?” She shook her head in fear of what he was going to do to her. She was shocked to feel the start of a double chin forming on her. He produced a second pumpkin, which now she dutifully opens her mouth to accept. “Let me help you with that fatty.” he said. He dragged his claw slowly up her swelling belly and right thru her shirt and bra, causing all the newly freed boob flesh to spill out and onto her tummy. “not much longer my plump little piggy.” he taunted. like before Tina couldn’t help the intense feelings of arousal she was feeling from his touch. she closed her eyes to focus on the feeling, but when she opened, then he was gone. but those two chocolate pumpkins ensured he would not be forgotten so easily.

    The weight gain in her ass was making short work of the remains of her pants. rips and tears were now appearing and growing at an astounding speed. The sheer size of her belly was now making her feet invisible to her eyes. if she had to guess she would say about 550lbs now, and she felt every jiggling pound of it.  her legs were starting to shake due to the sheer amount of weight they were holding. This made it very tempting to just give up. sit down and let this Freddy costume have his way with her, but that is what he wanted, and she wasn’t going to be caught that easily. so, with what could only be called an angry puff, she got moving. Her steps were slow and pondering. The size of her gut was so vast now that she could no longer see what was directly under her feet. she had to be careful not to trip over a pipe or lose a bit of floor. she wasn’t sure if she fell she would be able to get back on her feet. Her width became a problem as well. she had gotten so fat that she was almost becoming spherical, and all around her were pipes that were boiling hot. They carried steam from the boilers to whatever hellish machine this place had been built to run. without her clothing to protect her, one false move would mean quite a nasty burn.

   After a while she noticed something, the pipes weren’t branching anymore. they were just leading her down a singular path. Tina wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. On the one hand she might be close to winning this game, or it could be a trap. At this point, however, Tina also wasn’t sure which she preferred. Even without the stimulation of her nipples rubbing on her bra, Tina couldn’t help the intense arousal she was still feeling. her pussy just felt so wrong, so empty, like she just needed something inside of it. It crossed her mind again to just stop and let herself be caught. Then with her next step felt a change. The floor ran out. if she took one more step forward, she would be falling down a dark hole to who knows where. but then that could be exactly what she needed to do. whatever it was she needed to decide fast. she wasn’t sure how much bigger she could get before her legs gave out, and left her stranded. she waddled around slowly to turn her massive body around and face the opposite direction. But when she looked down she was confronted by the same pit as before. she was trapped. she turned herself back to the original pit, and taking a closer look, she saw something glinting in the light. a length of chain dangled from somewhere high above, she reached for it. If she could slide down it like a fire pole, she might be able to control her fall just enough that she wouldn’t end up stuck like a turtle. she got as close to the edge as she dared, and started to try and reach for the chain. as if to tease her, the chain bounced lazily off her belly. The cold metal sends a warm shiver of pleasure up her spine, nearly causing her to lose her balance, but she regains her stability. Tina found she had to turn her body sideways, to reach the chain with the tips of her fingers. pulling it closer to her, she finds a new problem. with her swollen size when she puts the chain in front of her, she almost can’t grab it with her other hand. due to her boobs being too big to put her arms together. After a bit of trial, she manages to get the chain in her hand. just in time too, as she feels her legs give way from the size of her ass, causing her to fall right into the pit. she holds on tight, as she feels the chain go taut. Then from somewhere up above she hears a winch turning, lowering her down until her feet touch the floor.

     As she lets go of the chain she sees it. a door that has a mirror on it so that it blends in with the surrounding pipe, but now reflects Tina’s fattened body as it moves slowly towards it. She is shocked by just how much effort it takes to move just one foot. Above the door in glowing red light is the word “EXIT” Tina moves toward it, and just before she can touch the knob everything goes wrong.

    It starts with the sound of a radio and little girls “9… 10… never sleep again” Tina knew what was coming next, and she would not allow herself to be caught so close to the end. She picked up her pace or at least she tried. And that was when her legs gave out. Sending her face forward on the ground, her arms too stubby and weak to be of any use. She looked up at her face in the reflective surface of the door, taunting her with its closeness. She noticed her face looked different in the mirror somehow. Her nose didn't look right, it looked Like… a snout, it was a pig snout. Poking out from her teased out 80’s haircut was a pair of pink piggy ears to match. Tina was sure that if she could see her ass, then there was a cute curly tail bouncing as she struggled to get up. Then she heard the heavy sound of boots on metal sauntering toward her. The radio tuned in again “1…2… Freddy’s coming for you”. “3…4…better lock your door” she could feel him running his glove over her bare skin. The metal of his claws gave her goosebumps, renewing her arousal despite her fear. “5…6… wear a crucifix” the girls sang

    “Are you ready piggy?” he asked. He positioned himself behind her, and she felt something warm poking at the wet spot between her legs.

    “7… 8… stay up late”. Tina had no choice now, she had been caught and now all that was left was to submit, and in the end, she didn’t even want to resist.

    “Yes, sir you have caught me now and claim your prize.” He thrust into her hard, and she screamed in pleasure. He was so big as he thrust in and out of her. She could feel all her fat quivering with pleasure as he fucked her. She had never felt anything so good. The world around her began to shrink, she was going to cum soon. She could feel it. Her mouth began working on auto-pilot. Sexual feelings brought out by pure animal lust “Fuck me, sir. Fuck your fat piggy! Make me squeal!” as the feelings washed over her she heard inside her head “9…10… never sleep again” And at that moment, Tina was lost in the dream world of the Berry Brothel.

[kawaiicherryblossomperfection]

what the fuck bitch? im cool certified but u chose to make me homeless for the rest of my life in a ghetto trapped room literally so undone to white washed in a suburban area i love her what the fuck bitch is that kind of language she is mrs. coolsheis so go home to cool! dang i found my wife shes nervous rn bc shes going home to daddy she cant live in asia without her life jackets yes we can write manga i love than death ok shes in love with meimasiansouthkorean1989ssuicideboyscool ok shes right theyre rocket power makeup cool! her comic books where she will make money yes thats cool ok so she wants to do a manga comic book with cool? why are they cool? yes were cool she got us out of hell today and she loves him for me! she was right to do thatneverdothateveragainewshescoolwriting ew shes cool with us more than cool and we love her for that ew shes writing with us! they are not cool theyre writing for raper artists ew shes ugly for meewshesnotuglyatallshesbeautiful shes ghetto suicide hookers ghetto suicide hookers! shes got our back and we love her for that ew she likes us! and shes cool ok so home roger that michael she can write really wwlwell so where did the paper go? this idiot stole my writing! shes going home tonight tool! she cant date keeho and thats cool with us! she will change her name to paranoid at some point or the deal is death wish list shes makes me write our pride shes going home with daddy ew she doesnt need a daddy but to be fed and clothed ok so she can do things on her own but she cant eat anything on her own? ew thats so cool ew she loved us thats cool for us shes still getting lots of money and a macbook pro for christmas yes thats cool with us no! its her daddy hahha no ur not in and shes going home to daddy an asian man ok shes not picky she likes her dressy dick downs she gets paid for comic books and manga that she puts on fanfiction.net and tumblr her mother tahirih or keeho her daddy calls in on her health yes shes cool elellleithwithmesheneedsmorehelp cool says its not enough so suicide boys take it in shes not bullied on the inner russian comia anymore and keeho never talks to her again and the suicide boys literally rape her every night and her room stays coolified until death do us part nvm she never pays rent on her own and her money lasts until eternity she doesnt always want a boyfriend she always has a phone and internet and wifi connection she stays on mt. olympus with neptune in the chanhee universe pictures are illegal and comic book manga are everday she always has money in her pocket and her family is in contstant communication no shes cool on that shes going home to daddy ew shes certified ew shmmmewishemadatmeyesiammadatyouyouthrewmypaperawayhercomicbooksmakesenseandalwayswillandthecsgsareonherphonetherussianintercomleavesheralonesheisintherowandtheystayinhereuntilsheleavesshehahhastheuniverseandshegoeshometoneptune ew she lovees us! ew she loveesusewshwockedouttakeusourhahha ew shes locked back in! ew shes back in forever without her daddy keeho hes the one thats not cool

[nde-obe]

My NDE's and OBE

Thanks for the interest in my OBE and NDE's! The first is my OBE followed by the NDE’s. The two NDE were a tree planning accident. 1983 The second was a motorcycle wreck in 1985. Both times I went to the same place.

OBE: The OBE (1991) I was knocked out of my body when a 40lb weight fell 30 ft. onto my head. I watched myself run around bleeding and after about 20 seconds of this and then snapped back into my body. I felt the pain then passed out waking up in the E.R. Had a migraine for weeks!

Tree planting accident NDE (1983)

I was a tree planter Forman on a crew of 15 people. We had this guy who was always slower than everyone else and no matter where we put him he was holding up someone.

Tree planting is like this:

Scalpers: We etch out a 4 x 4 area with a grub hoe for the augers

Augers that would drill the hole in the ground for the seedlings.

Tree Planter

Forest service official wondering behind checking the tree's we just planter.

Okay, so now you know the order of planting trees. This guy would not work out anywhere. So I called the contractor who hired us and explained things and he told me to fire the guy at the end of the day.

After we finished and got back to base camp I fired him. he tried to be tough but I was the Forman and he was not working out. The night went pretty smooth ate dinner around the camp fire and then bed.

I shared a tent with another tree planter named Brock. Brock and I were the two lead scalpers setting the pace for everything, Later I found out it was about 3am when the sound of a truck was getting louder. This woke brock and he looked out of the tent window and saw a truck coming right for the tent,

As it got closer brock grabbed my sleeping bag and pulled me to the center of the tent missing the tires as they drove over our tent.

The truck stopped and I was awake now but my mummy bag got spun around and the face hole and zipper were now at my back side trapping me inside. I wiggled around trying to get to the zipper. If you know what a mummy bag is you should know the struggle if you’re in it backwards. When someone yelled "Where the hell is that son of a bitch!

The tent was ripped open by the truck and someone grabbed the bottom of my bag and drug me out of the tent. The next thing I know I am feeling people kicking me from outside the sleeping bag. The face, the back, everywhere. All I could do was cover my face to deflect some of the blows.

At some point someone cut open the bottom of the sleeping bag area and pulled a naked me out bloodied and in immense pain.

They put a rope around my ankles and hoisted me up into a tree, tied my hands behind my back and started beating me again. According to my crew they beat me until they were tired out. Everyone thought I was already dead.

At this time I am just numb from everything and bleeding out of every hole in my body. (Nose, ass, mouth, ears). As this was going on I should tell you everyone one in base camp was being held off with a shotgun one of them had. All they could do was watch. A few days later I was told a couple of people cried as this was happening to me.

I remember at one time (while hanging in the tree) through the blood in my eyes I was able to see the faces of my friends and it was sad to say the lease. The guy I fired jammed a shotgun into my mouth and then used the slider to put one in the barrel breaking two of my molars.

He said "Now you die"! I was really ready to die, I was in so much pain death would be a welcomed sight. Right before he was to shoot me another one of his group said something about no murder charges just beat me. The next thing I knew I was being hit in the face with the butt end of the shotgun and I was out.

I woke up to the sound of the truck leaving the way it came and my crew mates scrambling to get to me. They cut me down. Someone wrapped a blanket around me and they loaded me into the front of our crews suburban and started down the hill to town. It was a 45 minute ride to get out of the mountains and down to the closest town. I passed out for most of that ride,

I will mention I lost a lot of blood, a lot! And the drive to town was no different I was till bleeding from my ear and mouth. Brock called the sheriff of town (very small mountain town) so the sheriff came out 20 minutes later and called the nearest hospital. It was a 2 hr. drive for the ambulance to come get me and 2 hrs. Back to the hospital. This is where the First NDE happened.

NDE: I remember being in the ambulance in the middle of the night with lights no sirens heading to twin falls hospital when all of a sudden I am outside the ambulance watching it drive away and I thought to myself Hey. The light getting so white that I wanted to put up my hand to block it out, but I soon realized the light was LOVE or GOD or something wonderful I can’t explain in words as I started to calm down and feel more comfortable the white started to change into a place I will never forget. You could say it was the place of my dreams. I began to see hills with mountains in the distance. I started to feel what I thought was cool wind against my form, it felt so perfect. Like the perfect weather, on a perfect day. I started seeing rolling hills of flowers going off into the distance and I was moving towards them (the shadows and pastel colored hills filled with flowers of many kinds).

Then my vision started to clear more and I was standing by a river next to a gazebo. In the gazebo was a table and two high back wicker chairs, with a pitcher of what looked like lemonade and two glasses with ice cubes in them. As I was looking at the scene I started having that feeling again, the overwhelming feeling that I am not supposed to be here yet, and for some reason I turned to my left and everything started turning white again, and blinding white light again. Then horrific pain and suffering came back. I was now back in my body.

Motorcycle Wreck NDE I was living in Ft Lauderdale FL when the motorcycle wreck happened. I had a Harley I rode everywhere as my main transportation. I was also part of a motorcycle club and spent a great deal of time at the clubhouse when I was not working. As time went on I made some really good friends. One day I was sitting at the bar in the clubhouse drinking a soda when a fellow brother asked me if I would take his 17 yr old kid home. He asked me because He overheard me tell the bar keep that I was going to take off.

I met frank and gave him a helmet and I wore my half lid as usual. We left the clubhouse and got on the main road (45mph) heading to franks house about 10 minutes away. I was riding along in the right lane when an oncoming truck doing 45 tried to turn onto a side street in front of me. I yelled to frank to get off or hold on, he chose to hold on. Well the driver of the truck was drunk and misjudged the distance and WHAM! Hit us with the front right bumper. As the bike lays down it goes under both the front and back wheel with me still on the bike. My head hit the side front fender exploding my helmet on impact.

After the truck rolled over me I looked back and saw frank tumbling to the side of the road. I tried to get up but my left foot was facing the opposite way (backwards) so I couldn’t walk. I fell to the ground when the guy who hit me ran up and leaned down asking if I was okay. Well you could smell the alcohol on his breath. I grabbed his afro and started hitting him from a prone position. Eventually a lady grabbed my hands and leaned me hack between her knees because blood was squirting out the back of my head.

She had taken off her sweater and used it as a compress for the wound on the back of my head.

This is where I saw myself floating above the scene and I was at peace and was witnessing the confusion going on below me in the street. Frank wasn’t moving at all I noticed. It was at this time everything turned white again. When it cleared I was back in the same place again, just standing in a different spot. No people, just nature and a cabin, gazebo, babbling brook and me. That was my Motorcycle wreck in a nut shell. The experience was the same both times coming to this place. I can tell you that after lots of contemplation I know this is where I will go when I leave this body. That’s all right by me, lots of nature and lots of peace,

I posted the below for another poster and thought the information might help you. In the end you will believe what you want, but once you cross over your real life comes back and is more real than this place. Having had 2 N.D.E.'s and one O.B.E. Is proof enough for me!

Below you will find some very good links to check out. Ultimately you could just google: Near Death Experience stories" and go watch videos of the people who have had the NDE experience.

Raymond Moody coined the acronym N.D.E. (Near Death Experience) He is the grandfather of the Near Death Experience. He wrote a book back in 1975 and later adapted it to a movie. The movie ("Life after Life") is old and at time a bit cheesy but well worth the watch. He made it back in 1992 here is the URL to watch if you like: https://youtu.be/z56u4wMxNlg Also Check out Dr. Eben Alexander - near death experience. https://youtu.be/4MwnxDK3IxY one last link for you is a website of an attorney "Victor Zammit" who has been studying the afterlife for over 40 years. He has collected tons of Data and compiled it into a book that is a free download on his website. http://www.victorzammit.com

More about him: http://www.victorzammit.com/about/aboutvictor.html

Here is an excerpt from the "What happens when we die" section: What does happen when we die? 1. All humans survive physical death, irrespective of their beliefs. At the point of death we take our mind with all its experiences, our character and our Etheric (spirit) body — which is a duplicate of the earth body. It comes out of the earth body on the point of death and is connected to the Earth body by a silver chord.

Death occurs when the silver cord is severed from the physical body. The afterlife etheric body and our surroundings will be just as solid as our world seems to us now.

The state of mind at the point of death is crucial. Some pass over consciously and are fully aware of the loved ones who come to welcome the new arrival; others are unconscious and are taken to a special place of rest like a hospital or rest home. Anyone who has been sick for some time may need time to readjust their mental picture of themselves.

Some people at the point of death find it easy to get out of the dead physical body. With some others, helpers need to actively assist in the transition. Some very materialistic people will have a very heavy duplicate body and it will be more difficult for them to separate from their dead physical body. On crossing over, the average decent person from the physical planet earth is met by loved ones from the other side to assist in the transition to the spirit world.

After that you are likely to be taken to what has been labeled as the ‘third realm’ – a world where conditions are ever so much more beautiful, more pleasant and more peaceful than on the physical earth. Read more here: http://victorzammit.com/articles/whathappenswhenyoudie.htm\

I hope some of this jumbled mess helps.

Love in Light

[malvolios-yellow-stockings]

Disclaimer - the following scenes shall be talked about as they are seen through my own two gay ass eyes, the gayz gaze™. To add, on this blog we kiss the ground Lucius walks on but it is also run by an Izzy Hands apologist. Take that as you will. Ye have been warned.

I gotta gush about this whole scene. I just gotta.

Both because it makes me happy on a personal level™ and because it gives me an excuse to write bullshit about Lucius and Izzy and how their personalities are wonderfully opposed in this scene. Like, these two motherfuckers even have opposing views on how love works and what it does to a person.

Backtrack.

This. This is art. Now, is this confirmation Lucius is poly? Nah, I don't think so, but as someone who's Extremely tired of the "you belong to me"/"I belong to you" possessive bullshit that comes across as completely unromantic and creepily (and accidentally) unhinged 99% of the time, I'm just happy we got this line. Because yes, to Lucius, it isn't about owning each other! But about different entities liking and respecting each other, seeing the other as an equal. Throughout the season, we see him and Black Pete actually communicate and express their feelings, fears and genuinely try to help and understand each other… There's just so much sincerity in it all.

Meanwhile Izzy. The pint-sized whore who, can we agree, has some weird thing going on with Ed? Like, it's repressed gay yearning™, right? Much to talk about this lil' freak, this wet purse dog (both affectionate). This man has seen things™, okay? He's been the one alongside Blackbeard (not Ed, mind you), for a very long time and, in the fashion of a proverbial suburban (house)wife (and her husband is quite openly cheating on her with his new coworker) scorned, has dedicated his best years to serving him (and got nothing in return???). He's seen Blackbeard, he knows him, what the man of the myths is capable of, what he has done and what he can do again. Izzy has first-hand experience with how Blackbeard's traumatic experiences (his father, then Hornigold etc.) have shaped him and convinced him he must enact violence for self-preservation and just plain survival (simplifying, obviously). So, I reckon Izzy has probably gotten some of that Hornigold treatment from Ed. And honestly, I'm pretty convinced that THE Izzy "trapped in the wrong genre" Hands has a similar background of poverty and punishing violence Ed has. So before Ed grows "erratic" and unpredictable and Izzy has to step in to “control” it, Blackbeard's been the only part of Ed he has known. It's the persona Izzy thinks he knows how to deal with and serve. The one he can gratify and get things from, one he can nudge and shape and the one he just knows how to interact with. In some ways, I think Izzy defines his own self worth and self-respect in respect to Blackbeard. Like he doesn't know what else he's really good for. Sure, he insults Ed, threatens to leave, BUT he then apologizes, comes back, is a "sentimental bastard" who goes around the whole of fucking Nassau telling Spanish Jackie of the petty things Stede does that make him angry, jealous one might say.

And unlike Lucius and Black Pete, who can be a wonderful duo (and I'd like to see more of that in season 2 because Lucius isn't DEAD, repeat it with me-), who can exist outside their relationship to the other, who have other shit going on in their lives, Izzy, on the other hand… Well, he has dedicated himself to his captain. The one he has only a subtextual, unsaid relationship with. And he's mostly fine with that. He doesn't want to define whatever the hell his mind's got going on for Blackbeard. But the moment Stede enters, yeah… And then, he sees Blackbeard gradually (not even THAT gradually, mind you) "degrade" into Ed, and while it's absolutely funny to us, Izzy really is completely confused by what Stede has done to his captain. How? What? And Izzy's just such an insecure git. The only way his fever dream lizard brain imagination could've thought those two were fucking on the deck is if he had some real insecurities about it all (his face goes through three phases - first, the shock and initial disgust, second, slow realization of some feelings™ and basically a sad "oh my god" cry for help and third, righteous fury followed by an angry "OH MY GOD" this time). And then let's not forget about the symbolic failure to perform of the getting Blackbeard out of the belts (or whatever the hell those are?) scene, as some great meta writers have pointed out. And then the "you think you know everything" of it all. Dizzy Izzy really is one emotionally constipated individual.

But honestly, it's not completely his fault. Hell, for all he knows, Ed has never existed, because Ed had been keeping up the performance of Blackbeard for a very long fucking time, not exposing much of anything to other people. And I'd say, even the little he had shown, most of it was shown to Izzy who got the "Excuse ME, only I get to call him Edward" privileges. Blackbeard has also set, or at least shaped, the standard of what Izzy thinks is a “real man”, Izzy probably not sufficiently picking up on the traumatic, self-hating and self-preserving aspects of Ed’s Blackbeard invention.

Now, let's go back to the beginning - "we don't own each other". Bitch, Izzy cannot comprehend that. HE is the only one who gets to call his captain Edward, he is there to serve him and do what he is commanded to do. And in return for his generous service, he thinks Ed owes him, that he owns what Ed is and gets to be, because after all, he thinks he knows Ed best.

Lucius is open, sassy, talks back and doesn't overcompensate, he is his own person, one that says what he thinks and wants and does something about it. Izzy is all about the unspoken duties and intricate rituals™ babey, he keeps that shit locked away but so easy to fucking spot from a mile away by someone like Lucius.

And Lucius sees through it - the demand for respect that comes from insecurity, the possessiveness of something (ahem, someone) he has never and could never own, the fear and reluctance of wording his desires for a myriad of complicated reasons… and what does Lucius do with it? He twists the knife and makes a mockery of it, admittedly in self-defense. And after all, the first response Izzy gives is in the only language he has known to use - the language of violence, shame, blackmail and vague threats.

So Lucius demands respect and gets it through some possibly unconventional means while Izzy tries so desperately through intimidation and instilling fear only to fail spectacularly.

And this that is just *chef's kiss*.

I just think these two should fu- i mean come on, the stare Izzy gives Lucius before telling him to fuck off, amazing, impeccable etc.

This was my TedTalk, thank you for your time.

sorry y’all had to witness the brainrot, but I’m waiting for some season 2 news and need a place to scream into the void while I wait

[cat-induced-fever-dream]

Acquaintances

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Description: Wanda meets someone who doesn’t treat her like a villain, but she doesn’t know who you really are.

Notes: I promise it’s fluff and not a trap. Also sorry about my hiatus, I’m just super unmotivated to do anything. So here’s my feeble offering to try and get back into writing.

- - -

Wanda groaned at the sight of a man with a camera. All she wanted was to pop down to the shops, buy some paprika, but alas, even a shopping trip was gold for the paparazzi. Maybe if she hid behind an aisle he would leave. But she heard the door open behind her. Ducking quickly behind a stack of tuna cans, she scanned the rows for the precious package.

She knew she wasn’t the favourite of the public, and the guilt of what she’d done ate her alive every night, but she was sick of being blamed. All she did was try her best, but this was the kind of thanks she got.

She frowned a little when she saw the man round the corner. She steeled herself, not wanting the tears to spring to her eyes. Turning around to face him, she- There was a person talking to him. You had a shopping bag in your hand, so you must have been another customer. Dressed smartly with a blazer, but paired with jeans and sneakers, you looked friendly, but the cold look you gave the man said otherwise. You exchanged words quietly with the reporter, and he seemed to refuse you, turning back to look at her. Realising that this was the perfect stall to get out of the store, she resumed her search. Cumin, Ginger, Paprika! Quickly glancing back to see how long she had, she saw you hand the man a business card as he hurriedly shuffled away.

“Sorry about that,” you turned to her, looking genuinely apologetic.

“Why?” she asked, it coming out harsher than she meant for it to. “It wasn’t even your fault.”

You shrugged. “You don’t deserve it.”

Wanda frowned again at this. She didn’t even know you, but you helped her out, so the least she could do was be polite. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you smiled. The two of you started to walk towards to counter. More like she did and you kind of happened to as well. “What are you cooking with the paprika?”

Sliding the bag to the cashier, she turned to face you properly. “I was making a traditional Sokovian dish.”

“I’m a big fan of trying different cuisines,” you replied, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “That sounds delicious.”

Wanda’s not really sure why you’re trying to make conversation, but you didn’t seem to have an agenda, so she indulged you with a response as the two of you walked out of the store. “It is, my mum always had the best recipe.”

“Ah well, my parents weren’t around much, so I can’t say the same,” you laughed, throwing your shopping in the back of what must have been your car.

Wanda hadn’t even realised she had walked with you to your car. That was embarrassing. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should be going now,” backing away as quickly as she could without making a fool of herself.

“Wait,” you called, “do you need a lift back?”

“You’re a stranger.”

“Well I know your name is Wanda,” you grinned cheekily, opening the passenger door. “And my name is Y/N. Guess we’re not strangers anymore. So, what do you say? It’s the least I could do, with that man bothering you.”

She’s not sure what compelled her to agree, but she found herself sitting in a plush leather seat as you adjusted the rear view mirror. Tapping the dashboard screen, you pulled up a map to Avengers Tower and backed out of the parking lot.

You didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t make conversation, bopping your head gently to whatever pop song was on the radio. Instead she spent the time trying to figure out who you were and why you were being so nice. “It’s rude to stare, you know?” you winked at her.

Wanda felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “Wha- No, sorry,” she mumbled. She’d done it again, made herself look dumb. You giggle, returning your eyes to the road. Trying not to stare at you this time, she observed the fancy watch adorning your wrist, and the sleek interior of the car. You must be a businesswoman of some sort, since this clearly wasn’t your average suburban car. But you were wearing jeans. Maybe a lower level employee than?

She sat there musing, until the door suddenly opened. “We’re here,” you smiled, gesturing at the grand tower that was now her home.

Why couldn’t she stop being so awkward? This was the third time. Unbuckling the seatbelt, she stumbled out, clutching the paprika to her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Wanda.” And with a small wave, you hopped back into your car and drove off.

- - -

Heading straight to her room, Wanda abandoned her plans for paprikash. The whole interaction was quite frankly, baffling. No one was ever nice to her, except for the Avengers. But you clearly knew who she was, driving her back to the tower without an address. Tossing her jacket on her bed, she sighed. It’s not like she’d ever see you again. That’s when she noticed the card peeking out from the pocket. There was a phone number printed neatly on it, and a cursive scrawl underneath. “I am actually interested in the dish though. Could I have the name of it?”

She hadn’t exactly interacted with anyone else, so it must’ve been you. Running her thumb over the ink, she was hit with a renewed sense of energy. Grabbing the paprika, she dashed back down the stairs.

- - -

You’re spinning around in your office chair when your phone goes off. Clicking on the message, a small smile makes its way into your face.

Unknown Number: this is the dish i was talking about

Unknown Number: *image*

Unknown Number: it’s paprikash

- - -

“Hey Wanda,” Tony called, a carefully wrapped package in his arms, “this came for you.”

One look at the scarlet wrapping paper, and she knew who it was from. “Thanks Tony,” she said, grabbing it and running to her room.

Setting the package gently on her bed, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the wrapping paper. Nestled in the middle, a box of cookies.

She grinned to herself. Wanda’s been texting you for a couple of months now, and now she could really say that you’re not strangers. She knows that you can’t cook, but you can bake. You’re a businesswoman “of sorts” you say, and that you’re a pretty busy person. But regardless, you hang out with her, chilling in the local coffee shop, going shopping, even just a stroll around the park. She also knows that this happiness she gets when she sees you is definitely not platonic.

Opening the lid, the chocolate aroma wafts into her room. Her favourite of your baked goods. There’s a note tucked into the side of the box, and she delicately pulls it out. “Be my girlfriend?” she read, the handwriting obviously yours. Wait. Be my girlfriend? She sat there dumbly for a couple of seconds before it hit her. You’re asking her to be your girlfriend. Wanda scrambled for her phone, snapping a picture to send to you.

Y/N: those cookies look delicious, who sent them?

The witch rolled eyes at your antics, but played along.

Wanda: idk, but i just got asked out

Y/N: whoaaaa, did you say yes?

Wanda: yes you dumbass

Y/N: okay, under other circumstances that would’ve hurt, but i’m too excited to care right now <3

Wanda: ...

Wanda: did you try to bribe me with cookies?

Y/N: it worked, didn’t it?

Wanda: i can’t believe i actually like you

Y/N: honestly, me too

Y/N: sorry it’s a busy day, but you wanna come over for dinner?

Wanda: sounds good <3

Y/N: i’ll come pick you up, see you then girlfriend

She didn’t want bugs in her room, so Wanda grabbed the box to put in her kitchen cupboard. Balancing a cookie in her mouth, she was about to close the lid, when a hand pinched one. Eyes immediately glowing red, she locked onto Sam as he backed away, half eaten cookie and hands up in surrender.

“Do that again and I will give you nightmares.”

The Falcon whistled lowly. “Okay. Protective over cookies. Got it.”

“There’s cookies?” Bucky asked, strolling in.

“No.”

“Oh okay.”

- - -

The heroes were sprawled on the couches playing a game of UNO when Wanda came down the stairs.

“What are you doing with that hoodie?” Tony asked sharply.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows. “This.. hoodie?” she replied, tugging on the drawstrings of the soft item of company clothing she was wearing.

“Yes! That’s my enemy’s!”

She didn’t really want to get into whatever nonsense the genius was spouting again. “My friend lent it to me.”

“You have friends?” joked Sam.

Steve gave the man a warning look. “It’s good that you’re adjusting to life here.”

“I think the important question here,” Natasha said from her spot, “is where are you going?”

“Dinner,” she replied, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. She tried to fight the silly smile that crept into her face whenever she thought about you, but she mustn’t have hid it well enough, since the red headed spy gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

I hate you, she projected.

Nat winked back.

“Based on the way Miss Maximoff keeps anxiously glancing at the door, there is likely to be someone waiting for her,” Vision piped up. “I have searched the Internet databases, and from what I have gathered, your casual outfit means that you are going with someone you are familiar with. The sharing of clothes is usually reserved for close friends or romantic partners only.”

Of course the android had to get involved.

“Your heart rate seems to be speeding up Miss Maximoff. Are you okay?”

“Wanda Maximoff,” Tony asked slowly, “do you have a boyfriend?”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

“Who is he?”

“Is he hot?”

“Where did you meet?”

“How did you even get a boyfriend?”

“Can we meet him?”

“What-“

“Okay,” she groaned. Well it was bound to happen eventually. She just wished she could’ve gotten even a few months without the teasing. “I have a girlfriend, yes she’s hot, yes I’m going to have dinner with her, and I’ll ask about meeting. I’m going to go now.” With that, she stepped into the elevator.

“Don’t think this conversation is over witchy,” called Tony, as the doors slid shut.

- - -

“Hey,” you smiled as she slid into the car. “What took you so long?”

“The Avengers found out.”

You chuckled at that. “What, did they interrogate you or something?”

“Something like that.” She paused. “They want to meet you.”

“Are you sure?”

“They’re my family, and they’ll love you as much as I do.”

“Cute,” you grinned, “but I don’t know about Tony.”

“Trust me, they’re a mess a lot of the time, but they’re good people.”

You checked through your phone. “I haven’t got anything on around lunch tomorrow. I can come by then, how does that sound?”

“So you’ll come?”

“Anything for my girlfriend.”

- - -

Her green eyes locked onto you amongst the bustle of suits in the lobby.

“Hey.”

You adjusted the grey fabric of your pantsuit. “Hey yourself.”

“Did you wear the suit to impress me?” Wanda asked, delicately tugging on your tie.

“Actually, I’ve got a meeting with the investors later. Gotta make an impression, you know?”

“Well consider me impressed,” she whispered against your ear.

Blushing, you allowed Wanda to lead you to the elevator.

- - -

Clint wasn’t sure what to expect with you. But if Wanda liked you, you were sure to be one of the good sorts. So maybe like a cute girl she met at the cafe or something. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting the confident girl dressed in a suit to step out of the elevator.

All of them were lined up in the common room and he’s pretty sure any normal person would have been intimidated by the sheer amount of Avengers in front of them, but you stepped up to them absolutely unfazed.

“Mr Rogers,” you offered your hand to shake, “a pleasure to meet you.”

Steve was expecting to have to take the lead with introductions, but here you seemed to be handling yourself fine. “Likewise.”

“Is Mr Stark here today?” you asked him.

“He’s a bit busy at the mo-“

Clattering and a string of curses interrupted him. And of course, the man himself stepped into the room, Iron Man debris in his wake.

“Tony,” Steve scolded.

“What? Did you think I’d miss meeting the girl who stole the heart of our cold antisocial emo?”

Wanda tossed a couch pillow at him, but he brushed it off.

“Tony Stark,” he declared.

You shook his hand politely. “I know who you are Mr Stark.”

“And you are...?”

“Y/N L/N.”

The genius might have been singed from his armour, but the moment that name fell from your lips, he yanked his hand away, as if he was burned.

“L/N. As in L/N Corporations?”

“That’s me.”

Abruptly he turned to Wanda. “Do you know who this is?” he hissed. “The greatest rival to Stark Industries. I thought you were introducing your girlfriend.”

You gave him a winning smile. “I am her girlfriend Mr Stark. And you may have made me your rival, but I can assure you that you are not mine.”

Sam snorted.

“What are you doing here then? Are you here to try and steal data? You can’t...”

You paid him no mind as you winked at Sam. Spotting the metal arm, your eyes widened. “You must be Bucky, right? Princess Shuri told me she’d been working on some vibranium projects. I’d love to take a closer look some other day if you don’t mind?”

“How do you know Shuri?” Stark spluttered.

“You think that she only talks to rich boys who need her help? Sorry to burst your bubble.”

Nat couldn’t help but smirk at this.

“Oh and I’ve actually been working on some prototype Widow Bites as a bit of a free time project,” you added. “If you’re interested, your opinion on usage would really help me to refine them.”

“Of course.”

“Traitor,” Tony glared.

It’s at this point your phone began to ring. Glancing down, you offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I’ve really got to take this.” You turned to face the wall as your friendly tone turned professional.

The Avengers huddled together as your call went on.

“Is she using you for information?” Tony scowled.

Wanda scowled back. “She’s my girlfriend Stark. Not everything is about you.”

He looked as if he was going to say more, but Steve interrupted.

“Look Tony, she seemed like a perfectly lovely girl.”

“Yeah I like her,” added Sam. “She can keep your ego in check.”

“If Wanda likes her, I’m fine with it too.” Clint said.

Wanda gave him a thankful look.

A cough came awkwardly behind them.

“I really hate to cut this short everyone, but something’s come up back at the office. Investors are a pain.”

“Yeah go on back to your investors then,” spat Tony.

“Wow” you drawled, heading back to the elevator, “is the rich card the only thing you can play Stark?”

The light on the wall indicated that the cab had arrived, and you stepped inside the carriage which would take you back down, as Peter stepped out.

“Oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving Pete, but swing by later, alright?”

“You know it.”

“Oh and I heard you liked the hoodie I gave Wanda, Mr Stark,” you called. “I can grab you one as well, since it’s my company. But I really do gotta run now. Nice to meet you all!” The metal doors slid shut on your grinning face.

There was a silence, before Tony turned on his protégée. “How the hell are you on a first name business with her?”

“We’re friends?” Peter offered.

“Friends?”

“She went to college with me. She was super smart and we hung out and stuff. You know, what friends usually do.”

Squirming under his mentor’s gaze, he continued. “She was too smart for college though, so she dropped out and started her company. It didn’t mean we stopped being friends though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Underoos?”

“She figured you might overreact, especially with the web sho-“ The boy’s eyes widened, and he made a mad dash for the stairs.

But Tony grabbed his wrist. “What were you saying?”

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “She helped me out with my web shooters in college, and since then, she’s been developing them with me.”

“What?”

“She knows I’m Spider-Man and I work with her on my tech,” he said slowly.

The man surveyed his teammates, making deliberate eye contact with each and every one of them. “Traitors, the lot of you,” he huffed.

“I mean you gotta admit it,” laughed Sam. “She’s college age, and built an empire to rival you. Not to mention that she’s pretty, smart, has better PR and actual time management skills-“

“Okay I get it,” the genius cut him off.

“Don’t be upset,” Clint smirked, “you can’t lose if you’re not her competition.”

Tony stomped off.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around,” Steve said gently, nodding at Wanda who was fiddling anxiously with her rings.

“She was cool,” added Nat. “Tony can be a pain in the ass, but he knows she’s a good person.”

Her phone buzzed in her hand.

<3: i’d say that went pretty well

Wanda: cannot believe you didn’t tell me

<3: i’m really sorry babe, please don’t hate me

Wanda: i could never

<3: just didn’t want him to stop you from fraternising with the enemy or whatever

Wanda: i’d break the rules for you any day

<3: how romantic

<3: so miss rebel, you coming over tonight?

Wanda: depends if you’re still wearing the suit

<3: anything for you ;)